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Post Day 10 Assignment Here
Reply to post your assignment.
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10 Replies
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Cameron Martin’s Level 1 Action Emotions
What I learned doing this assignment is…to look at these emotions like acts in a story. The Anxiety is useful to set up a scene, like the velociraptors first entering the kitchen with the two kids in Jurassic Park. The Fear is the payoff, like a second act, or when the velociraptors give chase to the kids. The Relief is the resolution: Lex and Tim escape the velociraptors…for now. This lesson is also analogous to Alfred Hitchcock’s bomb under the table. Regardless, I’m looking forward to the next lessons to learn how these emotions can weave and flow in and out of each other like a symphony.
EXT. RUINS – NIGHT
A young boy, PAN, scurries past a grave stone and hides behind the remains of small wall. Behind him, a wasteland with a single source of light emanating on the horizon.
PAN buries his head in his arms, breathing frantically. He works his way into deeper breaths. His hand clutches a wooden figure. He takes it and looks at the carving of a mother and father holding their child briefly, before shoving it back under his arm, with his breathing picking back up again.
His eyes close shut, hurting from holding back tears. A whimper escapes his lips.
The ground quakes with a thunderous thump behind him.
PAN throws himself out from the cover of the wall and runs.
The drum of heavy steps quicken.
PAN slides behind another tombstone in the middle of what was once a city street. He curls up into a ball, looking ahead to the light on the horizon.
PAN – (whispering) Please!
The ground rumbles beneath PAN. A cacophony of grinding gears and servos roar just behind him. Pan tries to sink lower, as a massive metal hand grips the tombstone, which cracks in its grasp.
METAL VOICE – You don’t belong!
PAN holds the wooden figure of his parents up like a prayer.
METAL VOICE – Prepare to die, pest!
The metal hand lets go of the tombstone. The whir of metal and the roar of an engine gearing up prepare us for the inevitable.
YOUNG GIRL (O.S.) – (singing) Duh, duh, duh, duh! Duh, duh, duh!
A rock clangs off the armor of the METAL GIANT.
The METAL GIANT pauses, looking ahead at the silhouette of a young girl.
YOUNG GIRL – Let him go!
METAL GIANT – (to PAN) Stay, pest.
The METAL GIANT steps over PAN and marches toward the young girl, who’s standing with her fists on her hips.
YOUNG GIRL – That’s right. Now why don’t you—
The young girl dodges a steel fist slamming into the dirt, billowing dirt and dust up into the air.
YOUNG GIRL – Do you know who I am!?!
The METAL GIANT breaks his hand out of the ground and analyzes it.
YOUNG GIRL – Hello? Does the name Janus ring any bells?
METAL GIANT – No.
The METAL GIANT dives at JANUS.
JANUS evades one blow—
Then is smacked through a wall.
The METAL GIANT turns his attention back to where PAN was. No one’s there.
PAN flees through the ruins like a mouse weaving through a maze.
Behind him, rubble is blasted across the landscape, as the METAL GIANT closes the distance, obliterating everything in its path.
PAN turns…
The METAL GIANT slams through the wall behind him…
A steel hand reaches…
And grabs PAN!
PAN’s face contorts from the pain. Then, suddenly, relief. PAN looks behind him…
A series of cables STAB into the METAL GIANT’s hand. The cables lead to…
JANUS, bloodied and bruised from being battered through a brick wall.
The metal hand opens in an INSTANT and releases PAN.
METAL GIANT – What?!?
JANUS – My name is Janus. Guardian of the Heavenly City of Arcadia. Daughter to the rescuer, Adam. And you will not harm this boy.
METAL GIANT – Do not speak his name in vain. You’re no guardian. You will destroy our city!
The METAL GIANT launches himself at JANUS.
JANUS plants her feet on the side of the giant’s fist, and rides it up to BLOCK the blow coming from the giant’s free hand.
Janus launches herself up—
Her cords release from the steel edge of the giant’s hand…
And return to her forearms.
Janus runs and leaps…
To the skull of the METAL GIANT.
Her cords release…
STRIKING deep into the METAL GIANT’s third eye.
The face of the METAL GIANT splits open…
And Janus dives inside…
With the face closing around her.
Then, the METAL GIANT grabs its right arm and TEARS it off at the shoulder!
It tosses its own shoulder to the side, before PUNCHING its remaining fist deep into its chest.
It pulls out a growling engine…
And drops to its knees.
The robot’s face opens back up, and JANUS crawls out.
A few of her cords stay connected as the face closes back shut again.
JANUS – (soothing) It’s over now. I’m sorry. I hope we get to play together when you pass through again.
The engine dies, and with it the METAL GIANT.
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Rebecca’s Level 1 Action Emotions
What I learned from doing this assignment is that building in anxiety, fear, and relief in a scene can create a dynamic set up for future action.
EXT. BUS STOP – DAY
Ludie, the Ragman’s wife, gets off with her two little boys in tow. Two coal and iron police stop her steps from the bus.
TROOPER 1
Show us your pass.
TROOPER 2
Where did you get on the bus?
LUDIE
New Kensington.
TROOPER 2
What business do you have here?
Ludie, annoyed, digs through her large bag for her paper.
LUDIE
To my father’s house to wait for my husband to pick us up.
On the nearby porch at the boarding house, Bucholtz stops his conversation with one of his men. He oogles the attractive woman who from a distance looks like his dead love, Mina. He eyes her from head to toe, but lingers on her face. Ludie hands the trooper her paper pass.
LUDIE
Here, my pass.
The trooper returns the papers. Ludie catches the big uniformed man watching her. She stiffens, but ignores his gaze as she replaces the papers into her bag.
Trooper 1
What is your father’s name? What house is his?
Ludie
(agitated and cautious)
Stan, Stan Waloski, a third down from the top of the hill.
Trooper 1
You may go.
EXT. BLUE LANE RUSSELLTON – CONTINUOUS
Ludie grabs her boys hands and starts up the hill. She feels the stares of the big man at her back. She picks up her pace.
Bucholtz amble over to the troopers.
BUCHOLTZ
The woman’s name. What is her name and business here?
TROOPER 1
Ludie, Stan Waloski’s daughter. She’s going to wait at his house until her husband arrives to take her home.
Bucholtz smiles. With slow deliberate steps he follows a distance behind so not to be noticed. Ludie, senses she is being followedn and pulls her boys along at a quicker pace and into the house.
Bucholtz waits a few minutes, crosses the street, and climbs the stairs to the porch. Without knocking, he pushes the door open and steps inside.
INT. WALOSKI HOUSE – SECONDS LATER
Bucholtz marches into the room startling Ludie and her 15 year old sister, Reisa. Ludie stiffens with fear.
BUCHOLTZ
(loud commanding voice)
I’ve come to check on what furniture will be auctioned off prior to the evictions.
He sends Reisa a threatening look before turning his attention to Ludie, scrutinizing her face and figure. She looks down at her shoes, red spots forming on her cheeks.
STAN WALOSKI – (O.S.)
None.
Stan enters from the kitchen followed by his two grandsons.
STAN WALOSKI
I pay rent on this house and indebted to none.
Bucholtz keeps his gaze on Ludie’s face. What color are her eyes?
BUCHOLTZ
Only working miners can live in company house. Prepare for eviction.
STAN WALOSKI
But, I pay my rent.
Bucholtz continues to stare at Ludie, lust on his face. Ludie shrinks into herself, the boys hiding behind her. He turns towards Stan, his voice booming.
BUCHOLTZ
I am the law here, you will do as I say, or else.
He abruptly storms out of the house. Minutes later Ragman arrives. Ludie rushes to him and holds on tight.
RAGMAN
What was that sonofabitch doing here?
STAN WALOSKI
Threatening us.
LUDIE
I didn’t like the way he looked at me. It made me feel naked and dirty.
Ragman’s face goes dark, his jugular vein pulsates, his voice harsh.
RAGMAN
That bold sonofabitch better watch his step.
He pauses a beat.
RAGMAN
And his balls.
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Subject line: Joan Edwards’ Level 1 Action Emotions
What I learned doing this assignment is when you say something
is there like an emotion, suddenly the thoughts emerge for you to put down on
the paper. Believing and faith makes it come true.Create a scene that uses all three of these Action emotions. Anxiety, Fear, Relief
Anxiety
Definition:
Distress or uneasiness of mind caused by fear of danger or misfortune.
How To:
Foreshadow, hint to, or create expectation of possible trouble to come. Danger
lurks around them.
FEAR:
Definition: A distressing emotion aroused by impending danger,
evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or
condition of being afraid.
How To: Create a sense of impending danger, but not expected
death for the characters.
It has to be real danger…not
imagined.
Set up tension/fear/shock,RELIEF:
Definition: A feeling of reassurance and relaxation following
release from anxiety or distress.
How To: Set up tension/fear/shock, then remove the threat,
returning us to a state of “normal.” It’s over, for now.1. Look through your outline and choose a scene that could use anxiety, fear, and relief.
Anxiety Bladen disguises himself as Hank Smith and goes to Bank CEO Convention. He wonders what Ansaca would do if he figured it he was not really Hank Smith.
Fear He gets to convention and Ansaca comes over to him.
Relief when Ansaca doesn’t figure it it was Bladen disguised as Hank Smith.
Draft Scene:
Henry, his makeup man, checked his last bit of makeup on Bladen. He checked him against the picture of Hank.
Henry: “I did a good job, boss. Ansaca will never guess.”
Bladen: Yes, you did a good job. If Ansaca guesses, you will need a new boss.
Willie: (driver) Have you got protection?
Bladen: I have my pet daggers. I promised my grandmother, I would be nice and only fight if they fight first.
Willie: Are you sure you won’t need more than a dagger?
Henry: You did bullet-proof him, didn’t you, Willie?
No answer from Willie. He stays silent.
Bladen: I will be fine. He won’t shoot me in the convention hall. There would be too many witnesses.
Bladen enters the hotel. Reads the sign telling where the Banking CEO convention opening meeting is and walks up the stairs to the balcony.
As he enters the ballroom, Ansaca greets Bladen at the door. Hank, come and get a cup of coffee with me.
Bladen almost forgets he’s supposed to answer to the name, Hank.
Bladen: I’ll be there in a minute.
Ansaca watches Bladen walk over.
Ansaca: You feeling okay. You’re looking a little shaky.
Bladen: I didn’t get much sleep last night. My youngest kid had nightmares.
Ansaca: How’s Project Sing going with the old timers?.
Bladen: A little rocky…some suspect foul play.
Ansaca: You know what to do with them.
Bladen: What’s that?
Ansaca: Bring out the forged papers saying they invested twice as much and they owe you the money or else they go to jail.
Bladen: Aren’t you afraid of people finding out that you are responsible for this.
Ansaca: No, you’re the fall guy for me. They will put you in jail, not me. My name isn’t on any documents. Yours is, Hank.
Bladen searched his mind for the papers he looked at. Ansaca was right. His name wasn’t on the documents. However, he was taping this conversation. So Bladen had proof of Ansaca’s guilt. But he needed more proof.
Bladen: Right. And you pay me $25,000 bonus
Ansaca: Not unless all 15 deals are set in stone.
Bladen: These deals are set in stone. You can bank on that. There are papers with your name where you explained our agreement. Where are they?
Ansaca: They are in my personal vault.
Bladen: Are you sure they are safe there? Aren’t you afraid someone will break into your bank and steal your assets and personal papers?
Ansaca: No one can break into my bank and steal any amount of money and definitely couldn’t transfer funds out of the bank without me and my Security team knowing about it. I have the highest security system in the world here. It cannot be breached.
Someone stepped to the microphone on stage;
Leader of this session: Everyone please take your seats. We’d like to begin in 5 minutes.
Ansaca: I’ve got to go onstage to present one of the speakers. See you, Hank.
Bladen’s eyes and whole body lit up. He had to remember that he was Hank at this moment. The arrogance of this man. He had just wagered an internal bet. Human nature: when someone says it can’t be done. I want to prove them wrong. For the first time in a long time, he thought he might be a step closer to defeating Ansaca at his own game. All he had to do was figure out the security system and how to get inside the bank. He could do that. Peace of cake. Feeling calm. He sat in the back row of chairs so he could make a quick get-a-way after this presentation.
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Matthew Frendo’s Level 1 Action Emotions
What I learned while doing this assignment is how to create certain emotions in an action movie context.
INT. RICARDO’S SHACK – DAY
Two dirty THUGS are holding Ricardo against the wall, menacing. They run a knife down his cheek.
THUG #1
You see, Mr. Nestor pays us well to find him the land he needs to make our little country great again. Rich again.
RICARDO
My family has grown food on this land for three generations. It is ours–
WHAM! Thug #1 slams the knife into the wall beside Ricardo’s head. Ricardo flinches in fear.
THUG #1
Like I was saying, he pays us to find the land he needs.
THUG #2
And to make sure there is no trouble on the way.
Thug #2 shoves some contracts at Ricardo, with a pen.
THUG #1
There will be no trouble, will there?
Ricardo takes the pen and starts to sign, hands shaking.
Then he throws it to the ground and spits on it.
He looks up, ready for the pain.
THUG #1
That was a bad idea, hombre.
He motions to the other man.
Thug #2 grabs Ricardo, forcing his hand onto the table.
Thug #1 takes the knife out of the wall and stands at the table, opposite Ricardo.
THUG #1
There was a game we played as drunk teens back in the day. There are many names for it, but I call it five finger frenzy.
He lays his own palm on the table, hand spread wide. He then moves the knife fast, going from the outside, to in between the first two fingers. Then outside and between the next two fingers. He goes faster and faster, but doesn’t cut himself.
THUG #1
I was always the best at this game. My friend here, not so much.
Thug #2 shows his hand and we see a ring finger is missing.
THUG #1
Now, it is your turn to play.
RICARDO
No, please–
Thug #2 holds Ricardo’s hand still.
THUG #1
I’ll make you a deal. If you can do it with your hand, I’ll let the land be yours. If not, we continue torturing you until you give it up.
Ricardo shakily grabs the knife and puts it to the outside, then between the first of Ricardo’s fingers.
Nothing happens. Ricardo breathes deep.
RICARDO
Please–
THUG #1
Go faster next time or it doesn’t count.
Ricardo does it again and gets by.
THUG #1
Faster! Hurry!
Ricardo does it again, but this time he nicks his finger as blood gushes.
RICARDO
Aah!
THUG #1
Bad luck, hombre. Now, you’re going to really be in pain.
He grabs Ricardo by the shirt and lifts the knife up.
JACOB (O.S.)
Perhaps I can be of service here.
The two thugs turn and see Jacob in his monk robes.
THUG #1
We don’t need a fucking priest. Find your way back to God.
JACOB
Funny. I was going to recommend you do the same.
Thug #1 nods at #2, who saunters over to Jacob.
THUG #2
Time for you to leave–
He puts a hand to Jacob’s chest to push him out. Jacob takes the hand and uses the momentum to toss the thug over his shoulder.
The Thug gets up and attacks! He lunges for Jacob, who moves out of the way and throws the thug into a bunch of clay pots stacked on top of each other.
THUG #1
What the fuck? It’s a fucking priest!
He takes his knife and attacks Jacob. He swings the knife, as Jacob backs away just in time. Then he does it again. On the third attempt, Jacob grabs the knife hand, twists it so the knife falls out and hurtles him onto the ground.
The thugs gets up, pissed and runs at Jacob.
Jacob calmly moves and trips the man.
Before he can get back up, Jacob has the man’s knife to his throat.
JACOB
The only reason you’re alive is I took a vow of nonviolence.
He moves the knife away, as the thug looks at him, furious.
JACOB
Just think, if you’d found your way back to God, you’d be in a lot less pain right now.
The two thugs get up and eye him.
THUG #2
This isn’t over.
THUG #1
I know you think you are helping, but you are only making things worse for them.
JACOB
Have a nice day, gentlemen.
The two thugs walk off. Jacob turns to Ricardo.
RICARDO
Those men…very dangerous…
JACOB
It’s okay. I’m used to dangerous men. Now, let’s get you bandaged up.
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Dwight Tincher’s Level 1 Action Emotions
This assignment taught me how to rework scenes adding depth and emotion into them.
I believe the opening scene in my screenplay provides the three emotions of anxiety, fear, and relief, three times.
The opening scene
Open on a sunset Massai tribal ceremony celebration a youth’s passage to manhood by going on a solo hunt and killing a lion. After the ceremony, as the young man starts his hunt, we hear rustling in the dark. The youth looks around but sees nothing. He starts breathing heavier, he unsheathes his knife, the rustling is getting louder. He starts to walk around a tree towards the sound of the rustling. Suddenly a Black Mamba snake strikes out at him from a limb on the tree. With one quick strike he slices off the snake’s head. He bends down, picks up the head and tosses it aside. He takes a deep breath; the rustling sound has stopped. He starts walking forward.
We switch POV to the back of the young man through the tall grass. We track him as he goes. Suddenly a cheetah pounces on his back and knocks him to the ground. The young hunter is bleeding now but manages to roll over, grab his knife and stab at the cheetah but his paw knocks the knife aside. Just then a young male lion jumps out of the tall grass and lands on the cheetah. The young hunter rolls out of the way, retrieves his knife, and climbs up a tree and out on a limb while the cheetah and lion battle to the death. After the lion sends the cheetah to its demise, he turns his attention to the youth. He attempts a couple futile leaps at the youth but cannot reach him.
Before the lion tries again, he is distracted by something across a small ravine. The lion crosses over the ravine while the young hunter inches his way out on the limb until he is above the edge of the ravine. There is a loud, but short struggle in the tall grass across the ravine. While the young Massai hunter peers over the limb, whatever survived the short struggle makes a path through the tall grasses moving closer to him. Suddenly the giant Cape Buffalo raises his head out of the grasses until he is eye to eye with the young Massai. With lightning speed, the giant beast opens his gaping mouth and attacks the young hunter and we cut to black.
The next scene opens on a firing range where our
hero is practicing and fires a shot through the black center of a target. -
Brenda Lynn’s Level 1 Action Emotions
What I learned doing this assignment is a great process to incorporate emotions into a scene for the audience to feel as it goes along. This engages the audience and helps to create the desired roller coaster effect.
3. Write the scene as a first draft, highlighting anxiety, fear, and relief.
EXT. INFINITY POOL – NIGHT
Lisa swims in the pool as Marcus stand at the edge of the pool on the phone.
MARCUS
Thanks for letting me know.He hangs up the phone. He quietly puts the phone in his pocket. Then he kicks one of the lounge chairs. Lisa stops swimming and comes to the edge of the pool.
LISA
Bad news?MARCUS
You could call it that. Let’s not talk about work.He walks over to the bar and fixes a whiskey straight up. Lisa swims over and walks out of the pool, wrapping herself in a thick towel.
LISA
You going to drink your troubles away.MARCUS
What the fuck do you care?LISA
To be honest with you, I have no idea why I care. But I do.MARCUS
Sorry. It’s just—I thought something was safe. Locked away. But it isn’t.LISA
Anything I can do.Marcus slowly puts his drink down on the bar and comes around it. He gets very close to Lisa. Pulls her into him, squeezing tightly on her arms.
MARCUS
I’ll think of something.He stares deeply into her eyes, searching. She is unflappable.
LISA
I’m not sure this is a good idea. You’re angry. I don’t want you taking it out on me.Marcus lets her go.
MARCUS
You know me, don’t you?He walks away. Then turns back to her.
MARCUS (CONT’D)
Where’d you come from anyway?LISA
I dropped from the sky.MARCUS
I’ll just bet you did.LISA
You want I should drive tonight. Might be just the thing.Marcus holds his arm out to her.
MARCUS
Yes. It just might.Lisa walks over and takes his hand. They walk inside the house.
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Subject Line: Ramelle’s Level 1 Action Emotions
What I learned is taking the audience into a journey of complexity and composition within storytelling.
First Draft:
Anxiety: Cinnamon was out with her new beau, Clash. They talked, she blushed, felt a rush of love and ease overcoming her for once in a long time. But then her whole life she has loved and the men in her life (dad, stepdad, Snyder) all died too soon. She will not be able to stand Clash being taken away; she considers if she must push back or let love shine.
Act 1 Scene A
Ext: location (Madear’s restaurant)
Clash: Look it’s getting late, let me drive you home in your car and I’ll catch Uber back home
Cinnamon: Where is home for you?
Clash: I was born in San Francisco, got my BA in Engineering at UCLA while on a Basketball scholarship, I hurt my Achilles in my Senior year and so I was benched for the rest of the season and concentrated less on basketball more on me.
Cinnamon: It’s so refreshing to meet someone with knowledge and good looks.
Clash: Let me take care of the check. We had better go.
Cinnamon is swept off her feet at this point the night can be never-ending.
Ext (Cinnamon’s driveway at her home)
Clash and Cinnamon continue talking
Clash: You ok.
Cinnamon: Sure, thanks for dinner, driving me home, and hmmm, Can you walk me to my door? I have been coming home to my door being ajar and well.
Clash: No worries, I got u.
Cinnamon is uneasy but knows it’s better not to go so deep with Clash; she must take her time.
Clash: I must go, I will get used to you. I want to get used to you. (He kisses her cheek and leaves.)
Cinnamon gets into a steamy shower thinking about her new love and how she desperately wants Clash out of her troubles.
Ext: Cinnamon’s bedroom
She wakes to a phone call; its Chay, Cinnamon’s mom
Fear:
Chay: Good Morning, what a gorgeous day, beautiful, I would love to have you as my guest for dinner tonight.
Cinnamon: Sighs, sure mom but I really need to ask you about my dad, I am the new DA and at my next media junket I want to call out who knows anything about the case.
Chay: (Interrupts Cinnamon) No, you do not need to do that. I said no! Just please come and we’ll talk personally. I will tell you what I know.
Cinnamon hangs up that finally her mom may disclose what she knows after all these years but still no cigar.
Ext: Chay’s home
The dinner table is set for two.
Cinnamon shows up in a tight black off should dress and Chay has on a red gown. There is a smoke-filled with horror music playing in the background
Cinnamon: Hello mom
Chay: My beautiful baby, we need to clear the air. Your father was a wonderful man. He was my knight and shining armor, he was taken from us tragically, and you survived which would have been what he wanted. Whoever pulled you from the wreckage was your dad’s soul rising up and saving his little girl and that is it my sweet.
Cinnamon: It was murder, my years of headaches, heartache, crying mom; mom, you didn’t even seem to care or hold me as a child when I was crying. What about Rick mom?
Chay gets up and the room becomes dark. Its as if she is a witch.
Cinnamon is unable to get out of her chair. Is this some supernatural circumstance?
Cinnamon looks up her mom who looks like the guy in the black hat who was in her home and the guy who pulled her from the car where her father died. Her mom is the joker, dark night egor of some type eating away into her mental state.
Relief:
Cinnamon awakens from her dream it was all a nightmare.
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Tarina’s Level 1 Action Emotion’s
What I learned doing this assignment is…
This is a very important part of your script but you have to build to it with hints and suggestions. You have to build the audience up, rev their stress counters and anxious meters into the red, only then can you have a successful moment of relief… only then you can sweep them up into the next moment of panic and fear. But they need the relief, they need to breathe and let go of their armrest’s even if it is only for a moment.
EXT/INT. CAR CHASE – AFTERNOON
Several cars are chasing the car with NINA and the operatives. BRUCE are driving. A silver car hangs back ARON sits next to him, shooting away at the black car next to them and hitting the driver in the head. The black car looses control and with a wild turn runs into a metal pole bringing it to a complete standstill.
BRUCE
Grunts …in annoyance.
From behind Bruce SLY stops shooting at the black car hanging on to their tail lights and look across him to NINA. Nina are looking weak, dehydrated and disheveled. With every movement of the car she are tossed about. She looks at him pleadingly. The next moment the black car rams into them from behind as a white bakkie ram them from the side. Nina and Sly slams into the front seats and Aron into the dash.
SLY
Shit!!! Bruce you need to loose these guys now!
BRUCE
Gritting through his teeth.
Trying bro…
Aron motion to Bruce to speed up. As they catch up with the white bakkie and he sprays it with bullets ripping through their windows and windshield. It shatters all over the two thugs inside. The one in the passenger seat turns around and start to fire through the now vacant back window.
ARON
Bruce get met closer!
Bruce looks into his side mirror seeing the silver car hanging back just behind the black car who are trying to push him from the left side into the white bakkie, he step on the petrol speeding them forward.
ARON
Pull the pin from a grenade and toss it onto the back of the bakkie.
Brace!
Seeing the grenade, Bruce brake with force leaving the black car and white bakkie serving into each other just as the grenade explodes. Flames erupt and several fragments and pieces of car are propelled into them and their surrounding area. He swerves to miss a piece of tire and turn into the next side street. Now it is only the silver car left.
SLY
Slaps Aron from the back on his shoulder.
Nice tossing A!
He looks back making sure no one else are following them.
Were clean.
Nina looks relieved.
NINA
No more surprises, can Krueger just get the message and back off.
The silver car catches up to them and pull in next to them matching their speed. Nina SCREAMS, pointing at the silver car.
Look out!
As he passes Bruce and the driver nods to each other and he move in front of their car. Bruce reduces his speed and start to follow the silver car.
ARON
He could have helped a bit you know…
SLY
Give it a rest A.
NINA
What are going on, shy are we following that car. That are one of Krueger’s men, he was just shooting at us minutes ago!
PAUSES a moment.
Guys?
Confusion are clear on her face. The three operatives ignore her. Bruce looks back at her in the mirror making eye contact but don’t acknowledge her in any way. Sly just look at her and the look at Aron who is looking back at him. Realization dawns on Nina’s face, disbelief, horror and shock alternates on her face.
NO!
She fumbles with her seatbelt and in the same time reaches out to open the door. Sly in one smooth moment slides across her seat and pull the fighting Nina away from the door.
SLY
NINA!
She are weak but fights on, pushing and hitting him wherever she find a open spot. He blocks her blows and then pull her into his chest holding her arms down next to her body. She thrashes against him and kicks Aron from behind. Aron catches her legs and hold them tight between the two seats. Realizing the futility of her attempt to escape she stops her thrashing but SCREAMS in frustration. The operatives keep their hold. The car turns into an old factory yard and pull into the abandoned factory, parking inside the building together with the silver car. Nina start to vomit but there are no fluids left in her body and dry RETCHING sounds fill the sudden silence. The operatives let go of her and file out of the car. Bruce locks the car and they meet up with the thug. Nina watches in horror as they shake hands and talk like long lost buddies. Why did they betray her, was it for the money? How can this be.
NINA
Mumbles softly to herself, defeat and hurt showing on her face.
How could they? Money?
A sob mixed with a sound struggling to breathe leave her body as she slumps back into the seat. Bruce unlocks the car and open her car door. Nina scoots back away from him, only to land into the arms of Aron who opened the other door. He pulls her from the car.
ARON
Nina, will you calm down.
With fury she pulls her arm out of his grasp and without looking at him or Bruce walks to Sly who is motioning her into a room. She marches past him with her last strength hanging only on because she will not give them the satisfaction of seeing that they have won. They broke her spirit with this betrayal.
As she walks inside she looks for any possible means of escape. The room are disheveled but clean and clearly lived in. The second hand furniture have seen better days, but she can see no obvious ways of escape. The thug turns from a cupboard holding a medical kit. He smiles and start to prepare a drip bag. Sly pushes her down in the only armchair available.
Sly, Aron and Bruce position themselves around her.
SLY
Nina you may know this man…
Thug turns around and remove his baseball cap, wig and glasses. Nina looks at him a moment and shakes her head.
Look again Nina.
She lifts her head looking at him.
He is one of Krueger’s men, you may remember him as a much younger man.
THUG
Moves slowly to the chair.
I used to guard you and your parents in the lab.
NINA
Confusion and then recognition followed by disgust spread over her face.
YOU! She spat the word out at him.
DISSOLVE TO:
INT. LAB – THAT MOMENT
A young Nina is sitting on a chair next to a big machine. With hate on her face she looks on as a guard brutally shoves her malnourished father to the machine. You know the drill professor. No work, no child… He moves over to her and take out a pack of crisps. He opens it just under her nose. Knowing what would come next she holds her breath… 1sec…2sec…3 sec… 10sec… she inhales sharply and her nose are immediately filled with the flavor of salt and vinegar crisps. Her mouth fills up with saliva and she try not to swallow it back as she know it will give him so much satisfaction. She try not to inhale a second time but again the salty, vinegary smell reach through her nostrils into the deepest part of her sensory organs. A deep rumble from her tummy makes the guard laugh out loud. A handful of crisps make it into his mouth just inches away from her face. She can hear the crunchiness and almost taste them. Her eyes never leaves his face… she will not give in. With laughter he empties the packet in front of her, then shakes the last crumbs out on her lap… shoving the empty packet into his pocket he moves off to the side of the room. She takes a quick swallow before he turns around to face them again.
INT. LAB – LATER
Nina are still sitting in the same chair. She balances the crumbs of the crisps on her lap, hating herself for it. The guard moves from his post and shoves her father to the side.
GUARD
Enough!
Nina cringes inside. This time… this time she will win. Stopping in front of her the guard unfolds the crisp bag. Opening it the smell immediately fills the air around them. He waves the bag in front of her, waiting for her to grab it. She know he will only snatch it away, so she move to sit on her hands and see the crumbs fell to the floor. This makes the guard laugh so hard.
GUARD
Tony! Hey Tony come check this out.
A second guard enters the room, he clearly knows the drill. She feel the red haze of anger and embarrassment washing over her face. She catches her mothers eye and the light shake of her head. She inhales deeply in an effort to stop the trembling of her body and mind and again inhales the heavenly smell of salt and vinegar. The guards laugh and as they leave the room the first guard tosses the packet on the ground and step on it, while still looking at her. As the door closes she scrambles off the chair deaf to the pleas of her parents, she scoops up the packet and settles in a corner. Placing the packet around her mouth and nose she savors every breath. With her delicate fingers she slowly reach into the corners of the packet and tease the last crumbs out of their hiding spaces. As she suck them off her finger a tear rolls down her face. He won again. She tosses the packet away from her feeling ashamed and angry unable to look at her parents, she curls up into a ball, hearing the door open she know the guard will know he won. Again.
GUARD
Come Nina. Visiting is over.
INT. FACTORY – NOON
THUG
Pulls up a chair to sit opposite her. She try to distance herself from him as if he is a poisonous snake.
Nina you have no reason to trust me, but please just listen me out.
PAUSES and takes a deep breath.
You may not believe me, but I hope you do. You parents gave me a word for this day. Cuddle Snuggles
NINA
Draws in her breath sharply and if possible she turned from green to white. Confusion, and memories flood her face.
Where did you hear that words?
THUG
My friend, your father gave it to me the day I helped you escape. The day I saw him and your mom die, unable to help them. The day I promised to protect you like my own.
NINA
Screaming
You were never his friend!
Spat in his face!
You hated us! You were the worst of them all!
THUG
Yes, I were. I were the worst of them all, but I never physically harmed them and always, always had their backs. Somehow me and your father clicked we became friends and to hide that friendship and everything I smuggled in to them, to you I had to be the meanest mother fucker so that no one would suspect anything and so that they would keep posting me there as part of the mind games that they played with your family. At least with me your parents always knew what to expect and they knew that every time you left that room I would keep an eye out for you as far as possible.
And that day of your escape, if not for me causing a diversion you would never have escaped. It was the hardest thing I had to do in my life, because I knew they will die in the process. There was no other way.
Takes a deep breath.
I have been keeping watch over you ever since. I promised your parents to give you a normal life to give you space but to always watch over you. I stayed in business with Krueger’s father and after his capture stayed on with Krueger himself so that I could see the danger coming and be prepared. Since these guys started looking after you pre-trial I made contact with them and since then we are all looking out for you.
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Diana T. Black… Level One Action Emotions…
What I learned doing this assignment is that while I have elements of anxiety, fear, and relief peppered throughout the narrative I don’t often have all three in a single scene, perhaps because it’s an action/thriller hybrid that necessitates a build across a sequence or, I have a set-up established early but the pay-off isn’t until much later… but I found one… I also need to think about the rationalization for these emotions – why do the characters in the scene (and prior to) feel these emotions?
Scene (Sequence) Outline
M17...Keylan gets a tip-off from an anonymous source – latitude & longitude co-ordinates – it’s in the middle of the shipping channel off the Port of Los Angeles. (Anxiety – what is at those co-ordinates, is this a trap? The operation needs to be clandestine and at night, they can’t wait to go through legal, port authority admin, if it’s a dead body, by the time they approve it there’ll be nothing left (of the body). While all three are experienced divers, parking in a shipping channel especially with the current supply chain issues could cause their zodiac to be scuttled by a container ship \. the zodiac needs to moored just outside of the shipping lane. Fear – because of the draft of the container vessels, they’ll only have 22 feet of depth between the screws of any container vessel and the bottom of the channel – the turbulence will be dangerous and unpredictable.
A8…Keylan and Robin are both former SEALS and Reese is also a long-time diver. Under the cover of darkness they quietly motor out towards the official shipping lanes. Ships pass them – they remain unseen. They attach an infrared beacon on the underside of the Zodiac and diving down to the bottom, follow the bottom profile to the right co-ordinates. They find a shrouded body. It’s been scavenged by sharks (the head is missing) and it’s lying at the bottom of the channel (@ 53’) – they retrieve what’s left and head back to the Zodiac – struggling with the turbulence of the propellor/screw wake. Relief – they make it back to the Zodiac.
V18 (Anxiety)...the Zodiac has sprung a leak and is taking on water – it won’t be long before it sinks. One side of it has been slashed with a sharp blade – was it a ship (at least two passed overhead on their way to the body) or was it someone else? There are other boats buzzing around outside the official lane – it could have been one of them, or someone on board one of them.
A8 (Cont’d)…They get a GPS lock on the location of the Zodiac (anchored). They swap out two tanks for the fresh one’s on board. Keylan’s tank is a tinny and still has some air left. Anxiety – They dive back down to a depth of 30’ to avoid other boats passing overhead – Keylan and Robin drag the corpse between them (Robin goes to share his air but Keylan refuses. Anxiety – he’s getting low) while Reese is in the rear, keeping an eye out for Bull Sharks. Relief – They make it back to shore. Reese comments that it doesn’t make sense – tip-offs then they’re out to get us.
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Christopher Dalbey’s Level 1 Action Emotions
What I learned doing this assignment is that by installing a good amount of anxiety, hope, and fear in a scene gives the audience more emotional value to invest in, giving the story more potential to allow the audience to commit fully to the story’s journey.
3. Write the scene as a first draft, highlighting anxiety, fear, and relief.
INT. GRAND BALLROOM – NIGHT
Everyone dressed to the nines. It smells of opulence.
Mayoral candidate Ady Phara enters the ballroom. You can tell that she has never been in such the fashionable dress she is gowned in with the lack of confidence in her stride and the nervousness in her eyes.
Senator Triano is entrenched in a circle of esteemed politicians. He spots Ady from the other side of the massive ballroom.
The politicians barely break from their enclosed circle as Ady approaches. Except for Senator Triano, who pulls away from the group with warm gestures and a smile.
SENATOR TRIANO
Ah, Senator Phara, so glad to see you were able to deviate from your family obligations … and indulge in a little hedonism.
SENATOR COUDRIET pivots towards Ady, as if to politely cut in on Senator Triano.
SENATOR COUDRIET
Don’t buy into his bullshit Senator. We’re all Puritans at heart.
Senator Coudriet bows to Ady, cordially kissing her hand.
SENATOR McCORMICK (O.S.)
Careful Senator … you got the missus’ eyes on you.
Senator Ady peers over her shoulder, catches Senator Coudriet’s wife – in a stunning dress and engaged in her own circle of politicians – beaming eyes on Ady.
Ady notes that Senator Coudriet still has her hand in his, has a romantic twinkle in his eye –
Senator Triano pushes Senator Coudriet aside like a dog. As he escorts her away from the group, the politicians burst out in laughter that seems cumbersome for the environment they’re in.
INT. MARTINI BAR – NIGHT
Both Senator Ady and Triano are posted up at the bar, martinis in front of them. Ady still looks out of place whereas Senator Triano seems to be complacent.
SENATOR TRIANO
Apologies for any off color comments from the comrads that may have offended you.
SENATOR ADY
None taken.
SENATOR TRIANO
I heard they caught the derelicts that broke up your speech earlier … they should crucify these fuckers. They have no right.
SENATOR ADY
I just hope that I’m able to get the message across that I’m pragmatic and care about the issues that –
SENATOR TRIANO
Let’s take off your donkey suit for a minute shall we?
An awkward glance from Ady.
SENATOR TRIANO
What are you really after?
SENATOR ADY
I truly believe that politics are all about helping people. That it is our job to hone in on the key issues –
SENATOR TRIANO
Cut the shit Senator.
SENATOR TRIANO
Senator?
SENATOR TRIANO
(quoting Titus 3:9 from the bible)
But avoid foolish controversies, genealogies, dissension, and quarrels about the law, for they are unprofitable and worthless –
Senator Coudriet’s wife, MRS. COUDRIET, black, classy, sophisticated in all her movements, slides in besides Senator Triano.
MRS. COUDRIET
Hope I’m not meddling in any unwarranted affairs here.
SENATOR TRIANO
(introducing)
Senator Ady, allow me to introduce –
MRS. COUDRIET
Don’t have to be so fucking masculine all the time, Ricky.
Mrs. Coudriet extends her hand across the bar that meets Ady’s hesitant hand.
MRS. COUDRIET
(to Ady)
Pleasure …
SENATOR TRIANO
… we were just discussing how democrats and republicans should align in their efforts so that we can better understand our neighbors of New Orleans, to better trust our voters.
MRS. COUDRIET
Sounds fun. But I’m bored.
SENATOR TRIANO
Let me remedy something for you Mrs. Coudriet.
Senator Triano extends out his arm that Mrs. Coudriet takes rather elegantly as he escorts her away. His way of saying goodbye: an eye wink at Sentor Ady.
As Senator Ady watches Senator Traino wisk Mrs. Coudriet away to a back room somewhere, she notices out of the corner of her eye a small envelope, her name printed on the front of it, laying on the bar before her.
She is very much an outsider in this moment.
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