Screenwriting Mastery Forums The 30 Day Screenplay 30 Day Screenplay 7 Post Day 11 Assignment Here

  • Robert Wood

    Member
    January 14, 2022 at 12:39 am

    Robert Wood’s Turning Point 1 Scene

    What I learned doing this assignment is that I’m reasonably pleased with what I’m doing but am frustrated that my first Act is significantly short on material (for example here I am at my turning point and I only have one scene instead of several)… But I do have an idea I’m excited about for another angle on the story to weave throughout, and I plan to add it in the rewrite phase, or possibly during the last day of work on Act 1… will see how it goes!

    Turning Point 1 Scene:

    EXT. FAMILY HOUSE – DOCK – NIGHT

    Matt sits on the dock, alone with his thoughts, smoking a cigarette and drinking wine. Bert approaches.

    BERT

    Bad habits are hard to break.

    MATT

    Don’t worry — I quit.

    BERT

    Huh. You must know a different definition of ‘quit’ than I do.

    Matt throws the butt in the lake.

    BERT

    Littering now — much better.

    MATT

    Just relax!

    Bert sits down on the dock. Belches.

    BERT

    Your dinner gave me heartburn.

    MATT

    Don’t worry — I won’t cook for you again.

    BERT

    You tell me not to worry quite often, have you noticed that?

    MATT

    And yet just thinking of coming here drove me to pick up a pack of cigarettes on my way.

    BERT

    I suppose that’s my fault.

    MATT

    Never mind. Just drop it, okay?

    BERT

    Sure. We’ll find something else to fight about.

    MATT

    Very funny.

    They look out at the lake, illuminated by moonlight.

    BERT

    You know what we should do tomorrow?

    MATT

    What’s that?

    BERT

    Rent a boat. Get out there on the lake.

    MATT

    Oh no, no, no.

    BERT

    Just you and me. It’ll be like old times.

    MATT

    I didn’t come here for that!

    BERT

    What did you come here for if not to spend some time reminiscing about memories with your old man?

    MATT

    There’s a lot of work to do around the house before we can list it for sale…

    Bert immediately lowers his head.

    MATT

    Sorry.

    BERT

    Jillian and you — you’re both in on it.

    MATT

    We’re only doing what needs to be done.

    BERT

    You could stay here.

    MATT

    Oh no — we’re not even going there.

    BERT

    So you’re going to sell it all.

    Matt is silent.

    BERT

    Then all the more reason to go out on the lake tomorrow.

    MATT

    How d’you figure?

    BERT

    If this is the end of one life, and the beginning of another, why not end it with a bang?

    MATT

    A trip on the lake…

    BERT

    One last exploration trip. Father and son, just like we used to.

    Bert is getting lost in his memories.

    BERT

    And maybe this time we’ll find what we’ve always been looking for… out there, under those waves.

    MATT

    I can’t believe I’m even thinking about this.

    BERT

    Good. Then it’s settled!

    Matt downs the rest of his wine.

  • Rebecca Jordan

    Member
    January 14, 2022 at 2:25 am

    Rebecca Jordan’s Act 1 Turning Point Lesson 11

    What I learned from this assignment is that I guess I was going faster that I thought. I also learned that process helps to iron out the progression/order of scenes, which is complicated since my script moves back and forth in time and it’s super easy to get lost. Phew! I think I’m getting pretty satisfied with it’s progression and no longer feel lost in the back and forth! I am also now okay with the fact that I may still need to do some shuffling.

    __________Act 1 – Turning Point 1 Outline__________

    Beginning: Rachel is distracted with her Uncle’s suicide. Unable to work. Gives up.

    Middle: She finds her Mom’s address that her Aunt gave her and contemplates her next move.

    End: She calls the police station and asks them to go to her house with a message to call her so that she can deliver the news.

    __________Act 1 – Turning Point 1 Scene__________

    INT. SMALL BARN – CONTINUOUS

    Rachel pours another cup of coffee. Moves some pics around on the wall. Stares at the wall. Lays on the couch. Lights a roach from the ashtray. Stubs it out.

    She gets the waste basket and finds the crunched up piece of paper with Mom’s address from her Aunt N. Stares at it.

    Opens computer. looks up the address.

    Then looks up the number to the nearest police department and calls.

    RACHEL

    Hi. My Mom lives there, close by and her phone seems to be disconnected and I need to reach her.

    Rachel switches to speaker. And pours another cup of coffee.

    OFFICER

    Is this an emergency?

    RACHEL

    It’s kind of an emergency. Yes.

    OFFICER

    Okay.

    RACHEL

    Is there any way that you could go to her house and give her a message to call me?

    OFFICER

    What’s the name.

    RACHEL

    My name is Rachel.

    OFFICER

    Your Mom’s name.

    RACHEL

    Oh, she goes by B. B T…

    OFFICER

    The address.

    RACHEL

    Um, it’s 555 that street.

    OFFICER

    And what’s your number? Rachel, right?

    RACHEL

    Correct. My number is 222-555-1234l

    OFFICER

    Okay hon. We’ll see what we can do.

    RACHEL

    Great. Thank you so much! If you could write a little note that her daughter needs to speak with her. It’s really important.

    OFFICER

    And that’s it?

    RACHEL

    Yes. Thank you. It’s personal. So —

    OFFICER

    That’s okay. If nobody’s there, we’ll leave the note on the door or in her mail box. Okay? Do you want a call back from us?

    RACHEL

    No. That’s perfect. Thank you so so much.

    OFFICER

    Okay Rachel, you have yourself a nice day.

    RACHEL

    You as well. Thanks again.

    OFFICER

    Bye bye now.

    RACHEL

    Bye.

  • Giles

    Member
    January 14, 2022 at 3:34 am

    Charles Ferrell’s Turning Point 1 Scene

    What I learned doing this assignment is the beauty that can come in the flow, the protagonist being thrust into a situation of bad choices and finally choosing what will be his evolution.

    Turning Point 1 Sequence

    INT.CLASSROOM/ HALLWAY /CHANCELLORS OFFICE – DAY

    Duncan is in class and his cell rings, he ignores it and it rings again and again. Finally out of frustration he reaches in his pocket

    DUNCAN SMALLS

    (index finger in the air to the students)

    Hold on .. Yes this is Duncan

    CHANCELLOR’S ADMIN

    Mr. Smalls, this is Felicia the Chancellor’s admin assistant, the chancellor would like to see you.

    DUNCAN SMALLS

    Me?..He wants to see m..

    CHANCELLOR’S ADMIN

    (interrupts)

    Yes you and 2 pm is the only time that works for him, which is in 15 minutes.

    DUNCAN SMALLS

    Uhhh, Ok, I’ll be there

    Hangs up

    STUDENT 1

    Did you say the Axis powers were well supplied or under supplied going into Russia?..I think I wrote it down wrong

    DUNCAN SMALLS

    Umm, under, over.. Yes undersupplied thus the push toward oil fields.

    (under his breath to himself)

    The chancellor wants to see me? I’ve never met the man

    INT.UNIVERSITY HALL – 10 MINUTES LATER

    Duncan is walking down the hall lost in his head as to why he is being summoned. He nears the Chancellors office and passes Professor Winfield (the old Sargent) headed the other way.

    DUNCAN SMALLS

    Hey Prof… (stops himself mid greeting as he notices the Professor refuses to make eye contact)

    He nears the door as it is just now closing on its own. He walks into the outer office and looks toward Felica.

    INT.CHANCELLORS OFFICE – MOMENTS LATER

    DUNCAN SMALLS

    Hi I’m Du

    CHANCELLOR’S ADMIN

    (interrupts pointing to the Chancellors door still open)

    I know.. Go in, he’s waiting

    He walks in, the Chancellor elbows on his chairs arms and hands clasped together in front of him. Duncan reaches to shake his hand and the chancellor doesn’t reach back.

    CHANCELLOR

    Just please have a seat, this should be short.

    DUNCAN SMALLS

    (mumbles in confusion) Ok, sir

    CHANCELLOR

    I understand that you are a paid teaching assistant and a phd candidate?

    Chancellor motions for a response of acknowledgment to which Duncan nods.

    CHANCELLOR

    It has been brought to my attention that as of late you have been, lets say off of your game.

    DUNCAN SMALLS

    Sir I can ex..

    CHANCELLOR

    (interrupts with a hand motion)

    Let me be brief and get to the point. I expect staff and potential staff to be on point, on time and to uphold the values of this institution.

    I’m not a historian and do not know about any Secret Military institution’s.

    ( stops himself with a gesture and changes tracks)

    Look, we all have our moments of stress where we run thin and fail to distinguish between working theories and facts.

    Duncan is speechless with a stunned look, trying to process where this is headed.

    CHANCELLOR

    Slides a business card across the desk to Duncan

    If this is all confusion about theory and facts, great. Declare your thesis and do your research!

    His hand still on the business card and taps it with his index finger.

    If its not, reach out to our staff therapist and she can help.

    Leans back in his chair and clasps his hands again

    I knew you would understand and do the right thing.

    Motions him toward the door, turning back to his computer. Duncan walks out in a numb stupor. Stands outside in the hallway briefly.

    DUNCAN SMALLS

    (talking to himmself)

    Soo..I either declare my nightmares as my thesis subject, or I openly admit I’m loosing it?

  • Don Thompson

    Member
    January 14, 2022 at 7:28 pm

    Don Thompson’s Turning Point 1 Scene

    What I learned: Turning points are necessary to keep tension and forward momentum in your script. In fact, they are essential.

    FADE IN:

    INT. LOWER DECK – TABLE – NIGHT

    Claggart’s staff HITS a tabletop.

    CUT TO:

    CLOSE, TABLE: SAME TIME

    The men all look to Claggart as they eat their soup.

    CLAGGART
    Line up. Keep your bowls with you.

    The men move from the table and line up.

    Claggart walks the line of men. He stops in front of O’Daniel, takes his bowl and sips the soup. Then he surveys the group.

    CLAGGART
    Do you like the stew?

    The men are silent.

    CLAGGART
    The Captain gets better stew, I’m sure you all know that.

    The men look on.

    CLAGGART
    The Captain gets better stew because he’s a better man. For one, he can read. He brings books with him – books on this very ship about subjects you cannot even fathom!

    As Claggart walks by he bumps into Billy Budd and Billy’s soup spills on the ground. Claggart then hits the bowl with his whip and it falls on the ground.

    Claggart looks at the bowl.

    CLAGGART
    Budd – you’ve dropped your soup!

    Billy observes.

    BUDD
    You hit me, sir.

    Claggart glares at him.

    CLAGGART
    I hit you?

    He looks to the other men.

    CLAGGART
    Did any of you see me hit Budd?

    The men remain silent.

    CLAGGART
    Johnson – did you see me hit Budd?

    Johnson is silent. Johnson holds his side.

    CLAGGART
    Johnson – pick it up!

    Johnson doesn’t move at first. Claggart walks to him and prods him with his staff.

    CLAGGART
    Are you hard of hearing? Pick up the bowl!

    Johnson leans down to pick up the bowl, WINCING in pain.

    He is overcome, and cannot lift the bowl – in fact, he is unable to get up.

    CLAGGART
    Johnson – you don’t look fit.

    JOHNSON
    I’m fine.

    Claggart looks at the others and turns away. As his back is turned to them, he chides them.

    CLAGGART
    I want you all to hate me. I want you to hate me and have your hatred be your motivation for everything you do.

    He turns around.

    CLAGGART
    The Captain missed that point in his speech. Hatred can motivate a man. It can motivate him to do quite profoundly unthinkable acts. Do you all agree?

    The men are silent.

    CLAGGART
    Hate me. Hate me and you will do well.

    Claggart turns and leaves. Once he is gone, the men relax and filter back to the tables.

    KINKAID
    He’s gonna get himself killed by one of us. I just wonder who.

    O’DANIEL
    Maybe you.

    KINKAID
    I definitely hate the bastard. He is certainly the sourest thing that ever landed on this good earth from Heaven or Hell.

    Kinkaid turns to Billy.

    KINKAID
    Do you hate him, Budd?

    Billy ponders.

    BILLY BUDD
    I don’t hate any man. It’s a fault, I suppose.

    Beat.

    BILLY BUDD
    Is it true Claggart killed a man on the mainland?

    O’DANIEL
    Aye, I heard as much. It’s like that with some of these seamen. Either the Navy or prison. For me, it would have been Debtor’s prison. 10 pounds I owed.

  • Janeen Johnson

    Member
    January 14, 2022 at 10:59 pm

    Janeen’s Turning Point 1

    What I learned doing this assignment is that I had lumped the actual turning point into the next scene so I had to split it out to make it clear that they’re committed.

    INT. MALL – CONTINUOUS

    HOLLY and RUDY cling to the Segway, chugging from one side of the hall to the other in what seems like slow motion, clipping a wind chime kiosk on one side.

    The mall cop reaches for the Segway handles to help steer.

    RUDY

    Touch this again and I’ll kill you with my bare hands. You’re the lookout, not the driver.

    The mall cops snickers.

    HOLLY

    He means it. He’s retired CIA and I’m sure he’s killed lots of people.

    She hesitates.

    HOLLY

    Although I’m sure most of them were bad guys and you seem like a nice guy.

    The mall cop bobs his head with humility.

    INT. MALL – MOMENTS LATER

    NICK emerges from the locker room, go bag in hand, still in the Santa suit, Grizzly still in her pouch.

    Nick looks both ways, spots the edge of a gun as he edges out of the locker room entrance, drops the bag, pulls the gun across in front of him, smacks the gunman’s arm onto the tiled corner of the wall with a resounding crack.

    The arm dangles at an impossible angle as Nick steps in front of the guy whose face is contorted in pain. Nick punches him in the face, the gut, the face again, and ends with a round house kick to the head. The guy topples.

    Nick looks quickly around, drags him into locker room.

    INT. MALL – MOMENTS LATER

    Nick emerges from the locker room to find one of his male elves contemplating his go bag.

    NICK

    There’s a guy passed out in the back. He puked back there.

    The elf looks shocked.

    NICK

    Take a deep breath, get in and out fast.

    Nick grabs the go bag and runs down the hall.

    CUT TO:

    INT. MALL – CONTINUOUS

    HOLLY and RUDY continue their slow pace toward the mall door. The MALL COP is spinning in slow circles, paranoid, but more afraid of Rudy yelling at him again.

    HOLLY

    So did you ever hear back from your contact about Santa?

    Rudy still has a death grip on the handlebars.

    RUDY

    Not yet.

    (pauses)

    The other guy shot Ivy though so, there’s that. Santa kicked his ass. That was good. He must be okay.

    Holly shrugs her acceptance.

    HOLLY

    What are we going to do about Ivy? I loved that girl like a daughter.

    RUDY

    Me too. Although technically, she should have checked those guys out over night. They were here yesterday. She was never, what you might call, thorough.

    HOLLY

    She was sweet, though. Still, shot like that. I shudder just thinking about it.

    RUDY

    Stop shuddering. You’re making this thing go all crooked.

    Shots of their slow progress in quick succession, crashing into:

    – a cheese kiosk,

    – A stained glass art kiosk,

    – A mall trash can,

    – A baby carriage pushed by a mother with two toddlers,

    – The information desk at the mall entrance, and finally,

    – The exit door.

    INT. MALL – MOMENTS LATER

    Nick rounds a corner with his go bag.

    The fourth mercenary, mammoth, stares at the mall cop and Segway at the mall door. He reaches for his weapon with one hand and presses a bluetooth headset with the other.

    Before he can say anything, Nick grabs a thick crockery cookie jar in the shape of a Christmas tree from a kiosk, smashes it into the man’s head. The kiosk clerk is aghast.

    Mercenary 4 turns slowly to stare at Nick.

    NICK

    Oh boy.

    Nick slips off Grizzly’s pouch and rolls it across the floor behind a calendar kiosk in one smooth motion.

    He reaches for another piece of crockery. The clerk gasps.

    Nick glares at him. Hands raised, the clerk points to a less costly item. Nick gives a tiny nod, grabs the cheaper crock and smashes in the face of the mercenary,

    Blood runs from his nose, he staggers back and Nick gives him a punch to the gut. He doubles over, Nick gives him a knee to the face. He falls to the floor. Nick looks around, spots a macrame kiosk. Grabs several bright red and green plant hangers.

    INT. MALL – MOMENTS LATER

    NICK steps back from the bound up mercenary, looking for Grizzly.

    He strides behind the calendar kiosk. The kiosk’s clerk is on his knees examining the pouch in his hands with wonder.

    NICK

    Open it and you won’t need a calendar because you won’t see tomorrow.

    The petrified clerk raises the pouch above his head without looking over his shoulder at Nick.

    Nick opens the pouch and Grizzly hops onto his shoulder. He puts the pouch in his go back, strides to a mall exit, fishing his keys from his pocket.

    EXT. MALL – MOMENTS LATER

    Nick’s car screeches to a halt at the mall door. NICK jumps out, rushes to open the mall doors, practically pulls HOLLY and RUDY out of the mall and into the back seat of his car.

    NICK

    Belt up. That FBI guy is right behind you.

    INT. NICK’S CAR – MOMENTS LATER

    NICK, still in the Santa suit, burns rubber away from the mall as DASHER hobbles out of the mall to look after him.

    Nick focuses on driving, but lets GRIZZLY out of her pouch without looking.

    NICK

    You okay little girl?

    HOLLY

    I’m not a little girl.

    NICK

    I was talking to my service dog.

    He reaches over, gently scratches her head, drives like a maniac away from the mall.

    They are silent for a long moment.

    The FBI radio on the seat crackles.

    DISPATCHER

    All agents, be aware, Mr. And Mrs. Claus have been abducted from location M. Be on the lookout for a blue 2009 Honda Civic. If sighted, report the location. Do not approach. Hostages are believed to be on board.

    Holly and Rudy exchange nervous glances. Nick licks his lips nervously, pats Grizzly’s head, scratches her neck.

    NICK

    Was that guy really FBI?

    RUDY

    I didn’t know him, but Ivy did.

    NICK

    Ivy?

    RUDY

    Our secret service agent. The pretty girl I saw you looking at yesterday.

    HOLLY

    And today.

    NICK

    The one who got shot?

    They all look down, leaving the question in the air for a beat.

    NICK

    The FBI guy. What was that about?

    RUDY

    No idea, but if I had to guess, Agent Dasher has been turned by a foreign government. His muscle looked to be foreign mercenaries.

    NICK

    So you were being kidnapped?

    RUDY

    If we weren’t, then we are now.

    NICK

    I’m no kidnapper.

    Nick and Rudy’s eyes meet in the rear view mirror. They reach an understanding with their glance.

    The FBI radio repeats the APB.

    Nick lets out a deep breath.

  • Daisy Khalifa

    Member
    January 14, 2022 at 11:13 pm

    Subject line: Daisy Ridgway Khalifa’s Turning Point Scene [Lesson 11]

    What I learned doing this assignment: This lesson is helping me really “beat out” story scenes and see the story. At this point, I am seeing a few changes I can make to my beat sheet, but, I also must remember to just keep moving ahead and write.

    Act 1 Scenes Leading up to Turning Point & Turning Point Outlines:

    INT. MIA’S WORKPLACE – MORNING

    BEGINNING: Mia works at a museum. Has a good job and has interesting work. [establishing]

    MIDDLE: Mia tells her close friend and confidante at work, IAN GARDNER, 34, about her old house and asks him to have drinks after work.

    END: Mia and Ian plan to go out after work to discuss PINECLIFF, because Mia has something on her mind.

    INT. GEORGETOWN BAR – NIGHT

    BEGINNING: Mia and Ian have fun at happy hour. Their relationship is affectionate but not romantic, but more or less, they are falling in love.

    MIDDLE: Ian is awestruck and wants to know more about the house where Laughton lived. Mia shares fun facts, among them, Charles hosted for Ed Sullivan the night Elvis Presley appeared.

    END: Ian helps Mia remember some key things about her meeting with Charles. They agree it all has to do with earthquakes, when they happened—and when they didn’t. They get drunk.

    INT. LIBRARY OF CONGRESS – DAY

    PLACEHOLDER: Ian, a very good researcher by trade, teaches Mia how to navigate the Library of Congress. They research Charles and Elsa and find all sorts of papers, and Mia finds some curious clues. Ian, of course, pulls all of the Elvis documents he can find and veers off into numerous directions b/c he loves this stuff. Ian also brings information from his father, MICHAEL GARDNER, who corresponded with Charles Laughton about the script for the play Don Juan in Hell.

    INT. MIA’S APARTMENT – NIGHT

    PLACEHOLDER: Paul Gatto asks Mia to go to L.A. She says yes because it is a chance to visit Pinecliff. “We’re going first class. Thought you might enjoy that,” he says. Mia wonders if she is prostituting herself and feels shame.

    INT. MIA’S WORKPLACE – NEXT DAY

    PLACEHOLDER: News arrives that Michael Gardner, Ian’s beloved father, was killed in a car crash. Ian has gone home to be with family.

    Key Scene 4/Turning Point/Lock in the Journey:

    BEGINNING: Mia arrives in L.A. with Paul. She is equipped with her research and all sorts of data, is in L.A. as she makes her way alone to visit abandoned Pinecliff. Ian’s father’s death consumes Mia.

    MIDDLE: Mia goes to her old house and takes it all in. She sees that some the expensive beautiful things her mother did to the house are still there. She has a flashback about a fight her parents had. And then she sees Charles in the same spot— “their spot” — in the garden. He looks the same while she is 25 years older. She tells him she is the little girl, which Charles finds absurd and impossible.

    END: They have a long interaction about earthquakes, fate, her life and his life—and she provides proof that she is Little Mia, 25 years older. Still, Charles is unconvinced and Mia asks if they might meet again. When they part, she asks him about the Lord Byron scholar Michael Gardner and said if he helps you with Don Juan in Hell, make sure you give him a job. In other words, Mia wants to meddle with fate and believes she can because she has encountered Charles again.

    Scenes:

    INT. MIA’S WORKPLACE – WASHINGTON, D.C. – MORNING

    Establishing. Mia works in the National Museum of American History. She greets colleagues, puts her bags down, and heads straight for another office.

    INT. MUSEUM – IAN GARDNER’S OFFICE – CONTINUOUS

    Mia appears in IAN GARDNER’S office, which is more of a storage closet with a window, lodged between the director’s office and a secretary’s office. Ian, 35, is a young, smart, handsome, if quirky and nerdy, assistant to the museum director. Mia and Ian have become close friends.

    MIA

    Are you curious about me?

    IAN

    Infinitely.

    MIA

    Have I ever mentioned my Los Angeles roots?

    IAN

    Which part?

    MIA

    The part about Hollywood.

    IAN

    Please be more specific.

    MIA

    The part about Charles Laughton.

    IAN

    Laughton. Laughton. Laughton. Aah. Let me guess. You lived in the same house as he did.

    MIA

    Very good. But did I ever mention that I met him?

    IAN

    You left that out.

    MIA

    Ian, I need to talk with you. This is important, maybe because it s so silly and unimportant, but my mind is racing with strange memories of a supernatural nature.

    IAN

    Super-natural-nature. This must be very important or you wouldn’t have coined such a clever collection of words.

    MIA

    Drinks tonight?

    IAN

    I’ve been waiting for you to ask since —

    Ian sits up as he sees the museum director, BLAIR GORDON, standing in the doorway. From Ian’s look, Mia responds, and turns quickly to greet at the formidable Gordon, a tall, lanky, bespectacled septuagenarian with the energy of college student. Gordon gives Mia a disinterested once over and directs his attention to Ian.

    GORDON

    Good morning, Ian. Have you got that Molly Pitcher research for me?

    An awkward moment, Mia is so unwelcome and needs to get out of the office.

    MIA

    Thanks, Ian. Talk to you soon. Nice to see you, Sir.

    INT. HALLWAY – CONTINUOUS

    Mia beelines it down the hall and mouths to herself:

    MIA

    Molly Pitcher?

    INT. IAN’S OFFICE – CONTINUOUS

    Gordon steps in and stands where Mia was standing, giving Ian a look of mild disgust.

    GORDON

    Ian, seduction is the art of a careerist woman.

    Ian is dumbstruck and smiles uncomfortably. Gordon’s jealousy is hanging in the air. Ian pulls some papers from a stack on his desk.

    IAN

    This is what I found on Molly Pitcher.

    CUT TO:

    INT. GEORGETOWN – BAR – NIGHT

    Mia and Ian are seated at a table, working on their second drink. Two empty shot glasses are on the table and Ian and Mia are in the thick of discussion.

    MIA

    Truth is I don’t know why I am even doing this. Thinking about it. It’s ridiculous but something is gnawing at me. Why am I thinking about my old house–like a fool–thinking I’ll see him again if I go?

    IAN

    Let’s just go with it, Mi. Y’know. Let’s suspend our disbelief.

    MIA

    See? Deep down, you’re a practical man, Mr. Gardner. And so, so, generous with your imagination.

    IAN

    I’ll be generous with any part of my person, tangible or intangible, for you.

    MIA

    Promise you’re not patronizing me? And that you’re not rolling your eyes and shaking your head in pity because I am bat shit crazy. I remember it, Ian. I remember it, like a dream but I also recall the very moment, the physcial moment, where I was standing. It happened. But, here’s the problem.

    IAN

    There’s a problem?

    MIA

    I was child. My mind was nimble, hopeful, naive. I had so much fear, and yet none at all. But everything was so clear.

    Beat.

    MIA

    I’m obviously nuts, but, Ian, it was so clear. I can just see him now.

    IAN

    Okay. So? What do you want to do?

    MIA

    Study him. I want to show you everything I know. There is something else. I have something he dropped- a piece of stationary. You’re going to freak out.

    IAN

    I don’t freak out, in case you haven’t noticed.

    MIA

    We need to know everything about his life at that time. He was teaching acting classes in the back yard. He had Shelley Winters in his classes. She went to Pinecliff.

    IAN

    Really? Poseidon Adventure Shelley Winters?

    MIA

    She was in a lot of important movies, Ian. Gas Light, A Place in the Sun, the Anne Frank Movie and, Night of the Hunter.

    (beat)

    And there is more–something important, two things, actually. That you will care about.

    IAN

    Hold on. Before I care to much, I have to be the devil’s advocate about one minor detail. Why are you so worked up? I think it’s fascinating. I think what happened is fascinating. But, why now? Why are you so charged up about this? Because the house is empty? Well, okay. So you go, and then what? You see him again? I just don’t want you to be disappointed.

    MIA

    Fair enough. You are so right. I’ve created a scenario that is a fantasy. Incidentally, I always do that.

    IAN

    What are the two things?

    MIA

    Umm. Two things? I forgot.

    Ian rolls his eyes.

    IAN

    Wondering. You probably wouldn’t make a very good litigator.

    MIA

    Wait! I remember. Oh. These are big. Laughton mentioned meeting a child dressed in “orange plaid pants” to Robert Ryan, the actor, one of his students that day. Robert Ryan put that in his biography- I think he was talking about how weird Charles was. I happen to adore Charles by the way.

    IAN

    I am not sure whether to ask about the orange plaid pants in, when was it, June? You poor kid– or about where you found that information. It’s pretty spooky.

    Mia is looking somberly at Ian.

    MIA

    There is something else.

    (Beat)

    He guest hosted for Ed Sullivan.

    IAN

    That’s what celebrities do for each other, I suppose.

    (Beat)

    It’s very cool. Nice.

    Mia is still as she speaks.

    MIA

    The night he hosted, the guest on the show was Elvis Presley.

    Ian gets up and walks around the table. He walks over to the dart board. He walks out the door of the bar and back in. He sits.

    IAN

    Let’s be reasonable here. I would like two more shots, and

    (Beat)

    I would like Charles to get me an autograph, to me, from Elvis. Provided you see him again.

    He smiles, relaxes, his theatrics have put Mia into hysterics.

    INT. GEORGETOWN – BAR – LATER

    Mia and Ian are animated and buzzed. They are having a second round of shots.

    IAN

    To Charles and Elvis.

    MIA

    You already toasted them. And they weren’t really friends. They had nothing in common. It was an awkward night at best. To Charles and Elsa!

    IAN

    To Elsa and Elvis! Golly, all these firsts with you. Who knew I would ever raise a glass to Elsa Lanchester and Elvis Presley?

    Ian reels it all in for the moment and looks at Mia sincerely.

    IAN

    (holding is shot glass)

    Mi, this is to you. You’re a strong woman with a beautiful imagination, whose words I don’t doubt for a minute–

    MIA

    Yes you do.

  • Peter Birdsong

    Member
    January 15, 2022 at 1:19 am

    Peter Birdsong’s Turning Point 1 Scenes

    What I Learned: Anyone else running short? I’m only on page ten. I’m going to keep going forward, but I am SO tempted to go back and edit. It’s very difficult.

    INT. PLANE – NIGHT

    Laurel taps at keys on her laptop resting on her first-class tray table.

    LAUREL

    This is a 100 million dollar deal I’m now negotiating remotely.

    CARLY

    What’s your point?

    LAUREL

    This isn’t convenient for anyone.

    CARLY

    I’m being forced. This should be kidnapping.

    LAUREL

    You’re being dramatic.

    CARLY

    Why did he buy a boat?

    Laurel pauses from her typing. Considering.

    LAUREL

    He always dreamed of sailing. Ever since… We went sailing. On our honeymoon.

    Carly seems thoughtful.

    CARLY

    Well, I don’t get it. I hate the beach.

    Carly puts her earbuds in.

    EXT. SHIPYARD – DAY

    The sun shines bright on a bustling French, shipyard. A forest of tall mast can be spied in the distance.

    YACHT REP

    She’s been in the water for about two weeks. Just this way.

    Carly follows behind at a distance. Eyes on her phone, but occasionally glancing up to find her bearings.

    EXT. MARINA – DAY

    Boats line the walkway on either side of all sizes. Many look very new or well cared for.

    Carly pauses for a well composed selfie.

    YACHT REP

    Here.

    Laurel looks where the rep is gesturing. Gently rocking in the water sits a beautiful, white CATAMARAN. Carly admires the boat for a moment.

    YACHT REP

    Please. This way.

    I/E. YACHT – DAY

    Laurel steps onto the deck gently. Takes it in, slowly. Studying the shape. It’s contours. Feeling it.

    YACHT REP

    45 feet long. Three cabins — the owner’s cabin is port, plus two smaller in the starboard hull. Solar. Water-maker. Auto-pilot.

    INT. YACHT/SALON – DAY

    Laurel slides the door open. The room is spacious and open. It’s a combined galley and living area.

    LAUREL

    My first apartment wasn’t near this nice.

    YACHT REP

    He wanted you to feel comfortable. He said this.

    This visibly affects her. She spies a photo mounted on the wall. A family photo… Carly was much younger. Looking behind her she spots Carly -still on the dock, hands in pockets.

    YACHT REP

    Would you like to take her out?

    (off her look)

    It’s your vessel.

    I/E. YACHT – DAY

    The sails, full of wind, pull them gently over the lapping waves of the Mediterranean. Laurel breaths in the air while the REP expertly helms the boat.

    INT. HOTEL – NIGHT

    Laurel sits at a small desk. Phone to her ear.

    LAUREL

    Christ, I barely know anything. I’m emailing you the documentation right now.

    MALE VOICE (V.O.)

    Just a minute.

    (beat)

    The board’s been asking about the Knox Deal. With you being out of town…

    LAUREL

    It’s done. Closed on it this morning.

    MALE VOICE (V.O.)

    Damn. Good work.

    (beat)

    Got it. A forty-five?

    LAUREL

    I-I think so.

    MALE VOICE (V.O.)

    That’s a good size.

    LAUREL

    So, an upgrade for you?

    MALE VOICE (V.O.)

    A small one.

    Laurel waits.

    MALE VOICE (V.O.)

    I’m interested. But I need to see it.

    LAUREL

    Okay.

    MALE VOICE (V.O.)

    Here. Talk to the builder. They should be able to deliver it.

    (Beat)

    But… are you sure?

    LAUREL

    Yes.

    (beat)

    You could speak to a board member.

    Carly watches her from the bed.

    MALE VOICE (V.O.)

    Yes?

    LAUREL

    The vote. Talk to Donaldson.

    MALE VOICE (V.O.)

    You already have a lot of support.

    LAUREL

    I want to be sure.

    MALE VOICE (V.O.)

    I’ll talk to him.

    LAUREL

    Boat’s on the way.

    She hangs up the phone and closes her laptop.

    CARLY

    Did you sell it?

    LAUREL

    Honestly, what am I going to do with a forty-five foot sailboat?

    CARLY

    I don’t know.

    EXT. SHIPYARD – DAY

    LAUREL

    Six months?

    YACHT REP

    Yes. Is this a problem?

    LAUREL

    I’m trying to close a life changing deal here.

    YACHT REP

    Yes ma’am. But it’s a month of sailing just to get it there. And the crew.

    LAUREL

    Crew?

    YACHT REP

    It won’t sail itself.

    Laurel looks out at the boats in the water. Thinking.

    LAUREL

    What if I take it?

    YACHT REP

    Excuse me?

    LAUREL

    It’s my vessel, right?

    YACHT REP

    Yes, but I–you can’t just sail across the Atlantic.

    LAUREL

    Don’t tell me can’t.

    YACHT REP

    Have you… Pardon, but have you ever sailed?

    INT. RENTAL CAR – DAY

    The car door shuts. Carly looks at her mother who seems as though she’s about to jump out of an airplane. Carly pulls out a single earbud.

    CARLY

    What?

    (beat)

    Hello? What?

    LAUREL

    We’re going sailing.

    EXT. SHIPYARD – MOMENTS LATER

    Carly SLAMS the door shut!

    CARLY

    Are you out of your mind!? You are out of your mind!

    LAUREL

    I think we can do it. But I need your help.

    CARLY

    No. NO! Put me on a plane!

    LAUREL

    Be reasonable.

    CARLY

    You put me on a goddamn plane right now.

    Laurel focuses on her daughter.

    LAUREL

    No.

    I/E. YACHT – DAY

    Laurel stands at the helm. She turns the key and the ignition rolls over. The twin engines HUM to life in the water. She walks around the boat pulling lines and doing her best to arrange them in some reasonable order on the deck.

    INT. YACHT/CARLY’S CABIN – DAY

    Carly tosses her bag onto the bed. Her face is stone. She SCREAMS and kicks a panel.

    She pulls her phone out. Drops onto the bed and stares at the ceiling. Opens the camera app. Tightening her brows she composes the angriest selfie of her online career.

    CLICK. Typing…

    CARLY

    Hashtag: this… is… bullshit.

    I/E. YACHT – DAY

    Laurel gently pushes the throttle, and the Catamaran nudges forward from it’s slip.

    • Robert Wood

      Member
      January 15, 2022 at 1:27 am

      I was running short, too, with only 13 pages for Act 1. Also unhappy I didn’t have enough “meat” in the beat sheet and overall story. Today I’ve come up with a new major b-story to add into it (threatening to become the a-story) and thrown out about 75% of what I had in Acts 2-4 of my beat sheet. First revision of Act 1 just finished, and adding in the beginning threads of the new story, it’s now 16 pages, so that’s better. I would have tackled this entire process differently from the start if I knew what was coming in the course ahead of time, but glad I caught the problems now rather than later. Keep going!

  • andrea cabanas

    Member
    January 15, 2022 at 9:30 am

    Andrea Cabañas, ACT 1 – Turning Point

    What I learned doing this assignment is that every day I’m getting more confident with my story. I really enjoy taking the examples given as a guide, which help a lot to understand the steps needed to follow.

    1. Outline your Act 1 Turning Point.

    INT. GEORGIA’S ART STUDIO – DAY

    BEGINNING: Zoe focuses on her website; Georgia works on her new artwork.

    MIDDLE: they talk about Georgia’s steps toward her surgery. Zoe questions if Georgia’s not afraid of dying during surgery; Georgia says she’s scared of being alone—she misses her mother apart from all struggles.

    END: Zoes reads a message from a potential client and speaks over the phone to him. She misses a call from Paula but reluctantly doesn’t call her back. She cries silently.

    Scene:

    Zoe concentrates on updating her website. She brainstorms ideas, talks to herself, write words on paper. Georgia arrives.

    GEORGIA

    Having fun?

    Zoe sighs, drops her pen, massages her face with her hands and stretches.

    ZOE

    I never thought it would be so tricky doing this. I hate marketing.

    GEORGIA

    Me too, so sorry hun, I can’t help you with it.

    They laugh.

    Georgia pokes her head on the screen.

    GEORGIA

    This is nice. I like the colours. Who did it to you?

    ZOE

    Excuse me! It was your friend Peter, that hot web designer that you introduced to me.

    Georgia melts on her cozy couch with a sigh.

    GEORGIA

    Peter, Peter, Peter. It gives me goosebumps to remember his beard on my skin.

    ZOE

    How can you like a man with a beard? Have you ever thought about how many microorganisms live around his mouth? Yak.

    GEORGIA

    You’ve been prejudiced. Men with a beard are charming.

    Zoe tilts her head with narrowed eyes.

    ZOE

    The only man I thought was charming was that guy from the Bee Gees; what’s his name?

    GEORGIA

    The Bee Gees? Oh, girl, you’ve gone too far!

    ZOE

    I think it’s Maurice. Or Andy? Come on. He was hot.

    GEORGIA

    You don’t have to go that far, Hun. What about Keanu Reeves? Brad Pitt.

    ZOE

    Well…

    They laugh and then silent until Zoe tries to find the right voice tone for the song.

    ZOE

    Ah, ah, ah… Ah, ah…

    Georgia follows.

    GEORGIA

    Ah, ah… Aaahhhh, staying alive, staying alive. Ah, ah, ah, ah…

    They sing the chorus and try to imitate the Bee Gees’ voice. Both dances while seated each one at their place.

    When they finish, Zoe glances at Georgia.

    ZOE

    Are you scared?

    GEORGIA

    Scared of what? Regret having taken my dick? No way, baby!

    ZOE

    It’s major surgery.

    GEORGIA

    I know, but I’m ready for it.

    ZOE

    I never took the risk of having liposuction for fear of dying on the operating table.

    Georgia looks away through the window.

    GEORGIA

    I don’t fear death, really. I’m more afraid of growing old alone.

    Zoe leans back and looks up, twists her lips.

    GEORGIA

    However… Do you want a more wonderful death than dying in surgery? I’ll be sleeping anyway!

    They laugh.

    GEORGIA

    But tell me about this new client. Who is he? Does he have a beard?

    ZOE

    Get lost!

    They laugh again. They talk, but we don’t listen to what it is about.

    TURNING POINT

    EXT./INT. JUAN’S OFFICE – DAY

    Zoe meets with the Mexican drug dealer Juan, who introduces himself to her as Matias, a new client.

    BEGINNING: Zoe waits for her new client in the fancy reception of his office.

    MIDDLE: Zoe meets Juan, who introduces himself as Matias. He shows her what he wants to change in his office and mentions his house.

    END: Juan takes Zoe to a mansion in a fancy suburb. Zoe starts working on this project. Paula’s man warns her that Juan has reached Zoe.

    INT. JUAN’S OFFICE – RECEPTION – DAY

    Zoe waits in a fancy reception room. MARGARETH (’30s), impeccable dressed, brings Zoe a coffee.

    ZOE

    Thank you.

    MARGARETH

    You’re welcome. Mr Oviedo won’t take long.

    Zoe nods and enjoys the aroma of coffee.

    ZOE

    Thank you.

    She eyes Margareth back to her desk and sips the coffee. After a few minutes, Juan approaches.

    JUAN

    Did you like the coffee?

    Zoe’s caught by surprise didn’t see him coming. She clears her throat.

    ZOE

    Yes, thank you. It’s really good.

    JUAN (55) wears bright clothes which enhance his tanned olive skin. His long black hair’s tied up in a ponytail, and he has a charming, strong accent. He extends his hand.

    JUAN

    Matias. Matias Gonzales.

    (in Spanish)

    Encantado.

    Charmed, Zoe stands up and greets him.

    ZOE

    Nice to meet you, Mr Gonzales.

    JUAN

    Matias, please.

    He holds her hand and stops, eyes squinted.

    JUAN

    Or should I say… Mat. In Australia, you like shortening names, right? You can call me Matt, then.

    Juan kisses her hand softly. Zoe blushes. He mentions her to his office and walks in after her.

    INT. JUAN’S OFFICE – DAY – CONTINUOUS

    Juan shows his office around, which has a nice view of Darling Harbour. Zoe’s astonished by the view. He stares at her.

    JUAN

    Beautiful, isn’t it?

    ZOE

    I’m speechless. It’s the first time I’ve seen the Harbour from this point of view. You’re blessed.

    JUAN

    Thank you.

    He motions her to sit at the meeting table. He sits at her side, both facing the beautiful view.

    JUAN

    My assistant found you on the internet, and I liked you, you know why?

    Zoe waits with a shy smile.

    JUAN

    Because of the way you sell yourself, I could have hired one of those fancy architects who decorate every office in the area, but you know why I didn’t? Because all offices look the same.

    Juan lets out a charming giggle.

    JUAN

    I like to be different. I am a migrant, am I? Why do I need to be like an Aussie when I’m not, right? And your website is unique. You are unique.

    Zoe blushes.

    JUAN

    More coffee? Or do you prefer a bubble?

    ZOE

    Another coffee is fine, thanks.

    Juan walks to his phone desk and orders another coffee. He comes back.

    JUAN

    So, Zoe. Tell me about you. How long you’ve been in this business?

    ZOE

    Er, I’ve been doing some projects for about four to five years. I worked for a big architecture company, but it didn’t work well… It was only recently that I decided to run my own business, you know.

    JUAN

    Lucky me that I found you.

    Juan is too charming.

    JUAN

    I’ve been here in Australia for years.

    He looks up, squints.

    JUAN

    Around ten years. It’s hard to be a migrant in this country, you know, but I managed well. I started from scratch, working as a cleaner, looking after boats here and there, until I got an opportunity, did good networking, and now I am buying and selling luxury boats worldwide.

    ZOE

    Luxury boats?

    JUAN

    Yes.

    He gets up and walks toward the glassy wall facing the harbour.

    JUAN

    I still have a dream to sail from here to Colombia…

    ZOE

    It’s a big trip, I suppose. And it needs courage.

    Juan squints.

    JUAN

    Courage?

    ZOE

    Well, I fear the sea. My worst nightmares are with big waves and tsunamis.

    JUAN

    So you’re afraid of drowning.

    ZOE

    I guess so.

    JUAN

    Or sharks.

    They laugh.

    JUAN

    Now I need to think about what I fear the most.

    Margaret enters and serves the coffee. They thank her, and Juan stares at Zoe, sipping her coffee.

    JUAN

    Are you afraid of heights?

    Zoe stops drinking and squint.

    EXT. ROOFTOP – DAY

    Juan takes Zoe to his preferred spot on the roof. There’s a lovely swimming pool and a fancy small restaurant. A WAITER offers them lunch.

    —TBC—

  • Patrick Downey

    Member
    January 15, 2022 at 5:14 pm

    Patrick Downey – Turning Point 1 Scenes

    What I learned doing this assignment was to use that emotion I put on paper to get the feeling I hope to from my audience. I thought what makes me tear up, what makes me mad, what makes me root for a certain outcome when I watch a scene… I hope this captures that moment.

    ACT 1 BEAT SHEET

    EXT. WACKER DRIVE – NIGHT

    Ray is killed in an auto accident

    EXT. STINGNELLI’S FRONT YARD – NIGHT

    Cayman receives the news that his grandfather was killed.

    EXT. BUS STOP

    Cayman reads text and see pictures of his grandfather’s other partners celebrating at dinner. His rage has entered an unfamiliar level that needs to be quenched.

    ACT 1 OUTLINE

    EXT. CHICAGO DOWNTOWN STREETS – NIGHT

    BEGINNING: Ray Stingnelli is driving home from work during rush hour and as he travels northbound through a traffic light, he catches a brief glimpse of large delivery van out his peripheral vision. A loud crash, sound of glass flying, crunching of metal, a dragging sound and finally a thud against a road barrier. The vehicle Ray was driving is reduced to half its size with the impact directly on Ray driver’s side. It took the firemen an hour to cut, and pry open the car with saws and the jaws of life.

    CUT TO THE STINGNELLI’S HOUSE

    Caymen running as fast as he can turns the corner to see a mob of police cars and people standing out front the house. His second worst nightmare has come to pass. His grandmother is crying hysterically surrounded by his uncles and aunts.

    EXT. STINGNELLI FRONT YARD

    MIDDLE: Caymen out of breath and frantic signs to his grandmother to find out what has happened, but she doesn’t know sign language. He then grabbed a police officer, signing the same motion repeatedly flaying his arms and making unusual noises as if trying to yell. Finally, one of the officers grabbed his notebook and a pen and wrote “sorry kid but your grandfather was killed when a delivery truck ran a red light about an hour ago.” Cayman couldn’t believe what he was hearing as if he were in shock and the whole world grew so much quieter than it had ever been before. He threw a fit, cried out with a whaling sound that made everyone cover their ears, he was signing so fast and waving his arms all over the place the officers tried to grab him, his Uncle John-John tried to hold Cayman and calm him down, but he fought them off and dashed out the back door. Cayman ran and ran for what seemed like 10 miles and when he stopped from exhaustion and collapsed, he lied right down in oncoming traffic and was almost hit several times before getting to his feet and diving to the curb busting up his shoulder on a bus stop bench. As Cayman lay there feeling alone in the world and guilt for not being able to help his grandfather, his phone vibrated and began to flash.

    CUT TO BUS STOP – NIGHT

    END: Leopold who had taken pictures of Dardanos at the Violet Hour decided to follow Dardanos to his next destination. Upon opening the file, Cayman could not believe what he was seeing, pictures of Dardanos with his father and the “O” brothers having dinner and toasting with champagne. The amount of rage that was building up inside of Cayman was of an unspeakable measure and it became clear that Cayman no longer had a dilemma but a clear-cut purpose.

  • Timothy McDevitt

    Member
    January 15, 2022 at 11:39 pm

    TIM’S TURNING POINT 1 SCENES – DAY 11

    What I learned doing this assignment is similar to the last couple assignments.

    BEGINNING: Duke relaxes in a cage, looking confident, talking to Squirrel through the window.

    MIDDLE: Dog Catcher calls Bob’s phone # but speaks to Karen. Duke thinks it’s Bob.

    END: Duke finds out he’s not wanted home. His devastation turns to fury. He’s a bad boy now.

    Int. Dog pound – dAY

    Duke sits in a cage, happy to be indoors and looking confident.

    Squirrel sits outside on the sill of a screened window where he can speak to Duke.

    DUKE

    Rex’s plan worked like a charm.

    Squirrel

    Yeah, but why couldn’t you just come here and turn yourself in?

    DUKE

    (feels stupid)

    The important thing is I’m here and I’ll be going home soon.

    SQUIRREL

    (disappointed)

    That’s great. Uh, will you visit?

    Dog Catcher strolls up to Duke’s cage, holding Duke’s collar and a phone.

    DUKE

    Shh. It’s show time.

    Dog Catcher dials a phone number. He scowls at Duke.

    Dog catcher

    (into phone)

    Yes, hello. This is the township animal control center.

    (pause)

    Right, the pound. We’ve got your naughty Duke here. He was caught knocking over trash cans.

    (listens)

    Uh huh. Oh, is that so?

    Duke studies his face to get a read on the conversation.

    Dog CATCHER (cONT’D)

    Oh my.

    (listens)

    That’s terrible.

    Dog Catcher gives Duke a “tsk tsk” look.

    Duke is petrified.

    DOG CATCHER (CONT’D)

    Are you 100% sure?

    (listens)

    I know. It’s a difficult decision.

    (listens)

    Yes, I understand. Good night.

    Dog Catcher shakes his head in disapproval at Duke.

    DOG CATCHER

    Somebody’s been a very bad boy, hasn’t he?

    Duke

    Bob said that? He said I’m bad?

    DOG CATCHER

    No need arguing. Get comfortable because you’re gonna be staying at our fine establishment indefinitely.

    Duke’s expression changes from disbelief to bitterness and anger. He morphs into a bad dog before our eyes.

    Squirrel regards Duke with compassion and a little fear.

    Int. BOB’S HOUSE – DAY

    In the kitchen, Karen smirks as she puts down the phone.

    Bob (O.S.)

    (hollers)

    Who was that?

    KaREN

    One of those extended car warranty calls. I wasted their time until they hung up.

    BOB (O.S.)

    Ha! Good girl.

  • BG

    Member
    January 16, 2022 at 7:24 pm

    Lesson 11: Act 1 Turning Point

    ASSIGNMENT

    BG’s Turning Point 1 Scenes

    What I learned doing this assignment: On a good day, I can squeeze out 1 page. Trying to keep up by keeping it short;))

    1. Outline your Act 1 Turning Point.

    BEGINNING: The Reporter finds the building. Huge, beautiful, 18th-century palace. Discrete gold sign reads: A Club for Patriots. He walks around it.
    MIDDLE: A big, beautiful WOMAN catches up with him. She is HOSTESS. Says they met previously and offers him a job at the Club.
    END: Reporter goes along and accepts.

    2. Write your Act 1 Turning Point.

    EXT. LONDON STREET – DAY
    Reporter finds the building. Huge, beautiful, 18th-century palace. Discrete gold sign reads: A Club for Patriots. As he walks around it – FOOTSTEPS. He turns around —
    A big, beautiful WOMAN catches up.
    WOMAN: Hi! Reporter! It’s Reporter, isn’t it? We met at Chez Jean. Don’t you remember?
    REPORTER: Uhhh… No…
    WOMAN: You were working there! Well, I’m HOSTESS.
    (extends her hand)
    HOSTESS: I work at The Club as a hostess. The Club for Patriots. Right behind you. Very well-known. Are you still at Chez Jean?
    REPORTER: Uhhh… No…
    Gorgeous. Big, but not over-weight. Rather, covered by a layer of smooth muscle. Hostess takes his arm firmly, turns him around and marches him toward The Club.
    HOSTESS: That’s good. Because, we’re hiring! You were a bouncer at Chez Jean, right? Outside job. Igghhh! Not good. This job is inside! A waiter!
    Hostess turns to him and lowers her voice conspiratorially.
    HOSTESS: Actually, we’re always hiring. You wouldn’t believe how tight the job market is for a good waiter. If you can read labels on foreign wines, there is no limit to how high you can rise. You do speak foreign languages, right?
    REPORTER: Uhhh… Yes…
    Hostess brings him to a sharp stop right before the cathedral-style entrance of The Club.
    HOSTESS: Of course, Mr. Billionaire is very picky, doesn’t like anything or anyone! He will insist on meeting you! Dress properly tomorrow.

    • This reply was modified 3 years, 4 months ago by  BG ERENGIL.
  • Benito Selim

    Member
    January 17, 2022 at 4:05 am

    Benito Selim’s Turning point scene 1

    What I learned from this assignment is by breaking up the acts with the important scenes needed, the story conveys to the audience easier. It will create more mystery and not confusion.

    EXT. STARKOAKS FARM – DAY

    BEGINNING: Darryl and his friends sneak through a gate and film around the farm. They notice a dilapidated barn and enter.

    MIDDLE: Marcus films what appear to be bloodstains. He sets up the camera on a tripod and sets up a light for his next shot. Darryl joins him and his foot sweeps over something in the hay. Darryl looks down to find a locket, he admires it and puts it into his pocket.

    END: After Darryl takes the locket. Karen appears within the camera shot, but neither Darryl nor Marcus sees her. Both mention how cold it is in the barn, but when they turn in Karen’s direction; she is gone.

    INT. EDIT SUIT- EVENING

    BEGINNING: Darry, Marcus, Calvin, and Lorraine edit the film when they notice a lot of jump cuts in the footage. They question each other, but no one recognizes the footage.

    MIDDLE: Karen appears on screen and is repeatedly stabbed and dies. Darryl and his friends react in shock. They begin arguing and blaming each other, the bulk comes down to Marcus. He denies any wrongdoing and the group eventually calms down.

    END: Calvin and Lorraine inform Darryl they can remove the footage. Darryl agrees to help them but is still bothered by it. Darryl excuses himself.

    EXT. COLLEGE COURTYARD- NIGHT

    BEGINNING: Darryl passes a bulletin board where several missing people flyers are posted. Darryl spaces out as he flashes back to his childhood.

    MIDDLE: At age 8 Darryl plays in his front yard when a little girl names Emily enters his yard and asks if he likes to play. Darryl asks her was she hurt since she appears dirty. Emily continues to play but gives no answer.

    END: Mrs. Case calls for Darryl to come inside. Darryl wants to tell Emily bye, but she is gone. Darryl comes out of his flashback and continues back to his dorm. As he enters, Karen’s reflection is seen faintly on the glass door.

    • This reply was modified 3 years, 4 months ago by  Benito Selim.
  • Katherine Bennett-Greer

    Member
    January 18, 2022 at 4:16 am

    Katherine Bennett-Greer’s Turning Point 1 Scenes

    What I learned from this assignment is that the Protagonist’s turning point sets up what happens next.

    OUTLINE, ACT 1 Turning Point

    Emily realizes that her dog Churro is afraid.

    She believes that the bad guys mean business.

    She sets up a contraption in the back entrance of the school, but it backfires.

    She vows to take care of the threat.

    INT. ELEMENTARY SCHOOL ALCOVE – DAY

    In a narrow and darkish red brick alcove that leads to a back door, Emily gets to work building a contraption that she thinks will thwart the bad guys. She places a rope around a pulley that holds a huge mesh bag of gym balls. She pulls the rope up and sets it to loosen when someone grabs the back doorknob.

    She sets the contraption, and retreats through a side door.

    The thugs come nonchalantly into the alcove. One of them grabs the rope. The balls come tumbling down.

    INT. SCHOOL OFFICE – DAY

    Emily spies the bad guys on the security camera. She calls her siblings, who are in her mom’s office.

    EMILY

    Josh, Sadie!

    They come running.

    EMILY

    Those guys, the ones with that lady who stole my dog, they’re here. Look!

    iINSERT: SECURITY CAMERA FEED

    The camera footage shows just gym balls on the alcove floor.

    JOSH

    I don’t see anyone. I think your paranoia about that dog is getting to you. You said you saw those guys at the airport, and now you say you see them here. I don’t get it? Why are you lying?

    Emily turns red in the face.

    EMILY

    I’m not lying!

    Josh looks at Emily like there’s more to say, but he doesn’t. He storms out of the office flabbergasted. Emily goes after him.

    Meanwhile, Sadie’s remains in the office. On the close circuit camera of the alcove, Sadie watches a raccoon root around the floor. Then, she sees a Thug with thick glasses come into frame.

    SADIE

    Guys, Guys!

    Emily and Josh rush in to witness the camera feed.

    INT. ELEMENTARY SCHOOL ALCOVE – DAY

    The Thug with the thick glasses pick up the raccoon to examine its face more clearly. He can’t make it out. He focuses in on its face,

    From the raccoon’s POV, the Thug swears he sees a Chihuahua. Then, the Thug holds the raccoon up for his fellow bad guys to see.

    THICK GLASSES THUG

    I found the dog!

    The raccoon attacks the guy’s face. He throws the raccoon up in the air and another thug catches it, in time to face the raccoon’s wrath. He wrestles with it, and it flies into the hair of the third thug. He grabs it and the racoon clings onto his jacket, until he flings the racoon onto a stack of wrestling mats.

    INT. OFFICE – DAY

    Emily, Josh, and Sadie sit back against the wall.

    EMILY

    I told you. I have to stop them.

  • Dana Abbott

    Member
    January 19, 2022 at 1:29 am

    Dana’s Turning Point Scene

    What have I learned from this assignment?

    Writing the Inciting Incident first gives me a target to aim for when I write in the remaining scenes of Act I. It forces me to not to stray off course and lose track of the theme and/or direction of the story. Knowing where I am going, also helps me decide what scenes I will need to write to fill in Act I.

    ACT I BEAT SHEET – TURNING POINT

    EXT. HALFWAY HOUSE – NIGHT

    Thugs try to kidnap Frank at his halfway house to kill him. Douglas Hill stands in the shadows watching. But Frank turns the tables and beats the crap Hill’s men.

    INT. JACK’S ROOM – DAY

    Frank arrives at Jack’s halfway house. He agrees to investigate the murder.

    ACT I OUTLINE – TURNING POINT

    EXT. HALFWAY HOUSE – NIGHT

    BEGINNING: The transit bus pulls up to the stop and Frank gets out. He heads for the halfway house he’s been assigned to live. It’s a square three-story building, and from the look of it, no-one would want to live there. We hear a TRAIN WHISTLE. Frank has a bag of groceries for dinner.

    MIDDLE: A woman pretends to need help with her car. Two thugs jump from Frank from nowhere. They beat him down and try to throw him in the car. Frank beats the crap out of them and locks the woman in the truck. He flees with the car and the woman.

    ENDING: Jack is in his room at his halfway house sifting over his case file. Knock on the door. Suspicious, he answers. Frank is there, beaten to hell. Frank tells him he’s in, but to get his things. They leave and are on the run.

    ———-

    EXT. FRANK’S HALFWAY HOUSE – NIGHT

    It’s a drab, three story building near the tracks. No-one in their right minds would live here. The area is deserted, the streets empty. The SOUND of a TRAIN running in the b.g.

    A transit bus pulls up to the bus stop. Frank steps off the bus. He’s the only one. He carries a bag of groceries. The bus pulls away, and Frank is alone on the street walking to his building.

    The SOUND of METAL HITTING GROUND makes Frank turn.

    EXT. PARKING LOT – CONTINUOUS

    In the parking lot beside the building, a WOMAN has dropped a tire iron. She’s trying to replace the tire on her car. She’s in her thirties and rough, a woman from the neighborhood.

    The trunk to her beaten up old car is open and she’s trying to pull out the tire jack, cursing.

    Frank approaches and puts down his groceries.

    FRANK
    You need help?

    The woman turns, startled. She looks Frank over once, and then frustrated, accepts his help.

    WOMAN
    They don’t make these things for women.

    FRANK
    No problem.

    The woman steps aside, backing away. Frank reaches into the trunk to out the jack.

    From nowhere, MAN charges Frank swings a pipe. He SMACKS Frank blind in the back.

    Frank HOWLS and stumbles away from the car.

    A SECOND MAN swings a pipe, striking Frank, staggering him.

    The woman backs away, watching.

    The men take turns swinging, one after another. Frank tries to stand and fight. One swing knock him down. The two men beat his legs, his back.

    AN ALCOVE – Douglas Hill stands in the shadows watching.

    Frank fights to stand. One of the men swings hard, a blow to the back that knocks him to the ground, rolling.

    MAN
    Get in him in the truck.

    A man on each side, they hoist Frank and drag him toward the open truck.

    FRANK’S POV – Being dragged to the trunk. The woman ready to slam it shut.

    Frank jams his right knee into the back of the man’s leg and he stumbles. The men lose their grip, and Frank hits the ground again.

    MAN (CONT’D)
    Get him up!

    They reach for Frank again.

    Frank spins off the ground. The tire iron is his hand. He swings for the fences, striking the second man in the face. His jaw CRACKS and he SCREAMS, falling.

    Frank SLUGS the iron into the other man’s ribs. The man curls and staggers back. Frank hits him again and again, enraged.

    The woman is suddenly on Frank’s back, clawing at his face.

    WOMAN
    Bastard! You bastard!

    Frank spins her off, grabs her and throws her in the truck and slams it shut.

    The man on the with the broken jaw staggers up and runs.

    The last man grabs one of the pipes. He and Frank square off.

    THE ALCOVE – Douglas Hills is stunned, watching.

    The man swings and misses. He lunges — lunges — then swings full. Frank meets the pipe with the iron, SMACKING the man’s fingers.

    The man howls, drops the pipe. Frank beats him to the ground. He drops the iron and grabs the man.

    FRANK
    Who? WHO SENT YOU, YOU FUCK? WHO?

    The man can barely speak.

    Frank searches the man, tearing through his clothes. He finds the man’s wallet and opens it. Instantly, Frank is stunned.

    INSERT: A POLICE DETECTIVE’S BADGE

    Frank looks around. No-one has seen the fight. The second man is gone. He looks again at the man on the ground. He kicks one last time.

    FRANK (CONT’D)
    (holding the badge)
    I’m keeping this.

    Frank grabs the woman’s purse off the ground and finds her keys. Inside the trunk, the woman is CURSING.

    FRANK (CONT’D)
    Shut up!

    Frank tosses his groceries into the back seat and climbs into the driver’s seat. The ENGINE turns over.

    The car backs up, shifts gears, and Frank drives off.

    THE ALCOVE – Hill steps back, vanishing into the shadows.

    INT. JACK’S ROOM – NIGHT

    Jack sitting on the sofa reading through the civil case file. Papers are spread about. A SOFT KNOCK on the door interrupts him. It’s suspicious at this late hour. He hesitates.

    AT THE DOOR

    Jack has his old service weapon drawn, behind his back. He unlocks the door and grabs the handle. Carefully, he opens the door.

    Frank stands in the hallway. Bloody and beaten and pissed off. He stands there and lets Jack take in the full picture.

    JACK
    What the hell? — Who?

    Frank tosses Jack the detective’s badge. Jack is shocked.

    Frank pushes into the room. He moves to the window, searching outside.

    FRANK
    Get your shit. We have to get out of here.

    JACK
    We?

    FRANK
    I’m in. All the way.

  • Jess Paxton

    Member
    January 24, 2022 at 11:30 pm

    ACT I TURNING POINT BEAT SHEET:

    INT. OLIVIA’S APARTMENT — NIGHT

    Davies is waiting in Olivia’s apartment. He shows her a video of the President. It shakes her. Davies asks Olivia to help the President, or he will have to invoke the 25th Amendment. The Vice President, he says, is too green — she was chosen for her gender and multi-racial appeal — and won’t be able to handle any major emergencies or the opposition party. Munson has cowed them into submission temporarily, but they are just waiting for the next election cycle. Davies says he’s certain Munson will will endorse him for nominee. But it will all collapse if Munson doesn’t get back on his feet. He makes love to her. She tells him this is exactly what she doesn’t want.

    INT. OLIVIA’S APARTMENT — MORNING

    Olivia awakens. Davies is gone. Olivia goes to the toilet, kneels down, and vomits. She discovers a one-word note: Please! On TV, Olivia hears echoes of the 25th Amendment. She shakes her head “Not my circus; not my monkey.”

    INT. OLIVIA’S OFFICE — DAY

    Olivia sees her final patient for the day. It’s easy to see she can’t go back to this after being asked to treat the President. She calls Davies.

    ACT I TURNING POINT OUTLINE:

    INT. OLIVIA’S APARTMENT — NIGHT

    BEGINNING: Davies is waiting in Olivia’s apartment. She huffs that people knock before entering someone else’s dwelling. He raps on the table and says “Knock, knock.” She walks past him to the bedroom and undresses, slips into Spandex and a robe. Davies watches, telling her that he’s taking a big risk coming here. She responds that yes, she could have him jailed for breaking and entering.

    MIDDLE: Davies shows Olivia a video of the President on his phone. Munson is silent, hypnotic. It shakes her. Davies asks Olivia to help the President, or he will have to invoke the 25th Amendment. The Vice President, he says, is too green — she was chosen for her gender and multi-racial appeal — and won’t be able to handle any major emergencies or the opposition party. Davies has cowed them into submission temporarily, but they are just waiting for the next opportunity. Olivia says she knows lots of people like that. Davies admits he has Presidential aspirations and he’s certain Munson will will endorse him for nominee. But it will all collapse if Munson doesn’t get back on his feet.

    END: Olivia says she’s not ready for this. Davies strokes her hair, pets her shoulders, reassures her, draws her close. Her arms slowly find their way around his torso. He kisses her head, her face, her lips. “I need you, too.” he whispers. She tells him this is exactly what she doesn’t want. Davies runs his hands down her neck and she shudders. Her robe opens.

    INT. OLIVIA’S APARTMENT — MORNING

    BEGINNING: Olivia awakens, gasping for air. Davies is gone. Olivia looks around, as if unsure where she is and what has happened. She pulls back the sheets and sees the stains on the bed. She rushes to the toilet, kneels down, and vomits.

    MIDDLE: Olivia brews coffee. Stirring in the cream, she sits at the dining table and finds a note. All it says is “Please! I need you!” She crumples the paper and throws it away.

    END: Flipping on the TV, Olivia hears echoes of the 25th Amendment on news stations. CNN wonders if the President is capable of performing his office after his wife’s death. MSNBC wishes him the best. Fox anchors scream that he’s a complete incompetent to begin with, and now will be totally unable to execute the least of his duties and must be replaced, not by the fish-out-of-water Veep, but by the Republican Speaker of the House. Olivia hits the “off” button. She shakes her head “Not my circus; not my monkey.” She shivers, empties her coffee in one long gulp, and heads for the shower.

    INT. OLIVIA’S OFFICE — DAY

    BEGINNING: Olivia sees her final patient for the day. She describes some mundane problem she has with her boyfriend, then adds that at least she isn’t dead like the First Lady. Olivia nearly jumps out of her chair and tells the patient that her time is up.

    MIDDLE: Olivia goes out to her receptionist. There is another patient waiting. Olivia whispers in her receptionist’s ear to make an excuse for her; she can’t see anyone else today. The receptionist nods and steps over to the patient while Olivia returns to her therapy office.

    END: Olivia opens her bottom desk drawer. In it is a selfie Davies took of them, in a bed, Olivia trying to cover herself with the sheet. Olivia closes her eyes. She punches an open phone line and dials his number.

    ACT I TURNING POINT:

    INT. OLIVIA’S APARTMENT — NIGHT

    Olivia opens her apartment door and freezes. A man, WILL DAVIES, 45, well-groomed and manicured, is sitting at her dining table. Olivia recovers, goes through her normal routine at the. door, and walks to the bedroom.

    OLIVIA

    Most people knock before they enter

    someone else’s home, you know.

    Davies raps the table twice.

    DAVIES

    Knock, knock.

    He rises, follows her to the bedroom, and leans against the door frame.

    DAVIES

    I was afraid you wouldn’t let me in.

    OLIVIA

    You’re not afraid of anything. You take

    whatever you want, you use whoever

    you want.

    Olivia undresses, slips into Spandex and a robe.

    DAVIES

    I’m taking quite a risk coming here.

    OLIVIA

    You mean breaking and entering?

    Yeah, big risk. I could call the cops.

    DAVIES

    Not unless you want them to know I

    watched you undress and you let me.

    OLIVIA

    There, that’s the old Will Davies I knew

    and loved. The great manipulator.

    DAVIES

    I’m not here for that.

    OLIVIA

    You’re here to offer an apology?

    Accepted. Now get out.

    Davies pulls out his cellular.

    DAVIES

    I need you to see this.

    OLIVIA

    What is it, old porno movies of us?

    DAVIES

    It’s a nation in crisis.

    OLIVIA

    How romantic.

    Davies grabs her arm. She yanks it away.

    OLIVIA

    I’m not yours to drag around any more.

    DAVIES

    I’m serious. Look.

    Davies holds up the phone. The video shows Munson, soon after his wife was discovered. He’s a shrinking, quivering lump of Jello in an armchair. Covered with his wife’s blood. Holding the knife.

    Olivia takes on her “professional look”. She takes the phone from him, watches the action as the FBI and Secret Service mill about the room.

    OLIVIA

    Should you be showing me this?

    DAVIES

    No.

    OLIVIA

    Who recorded this?

    DAVIES

    I did. No one else has seen it.

    There’s a long shot of Munson. He’s totally withdrawn, unresponsive as investigators rain questions down on him like a press conference.

    OLIVIA

    He’s in shock.

    DAVIES

    Go to the next video.

    Olivia obeys. Munson at a cabinet meeting, railing at some of the cabinet officials.

    DAVIES

    He jumps down people’s throats, or

    shuts down. there’s no in-between.

    OLIVIA

    Classic PTSD. You don’t need me, you

    need a therapist who handles vets coming

    back from Iraq.

    DAVIES

    We can’t get him to talk to any of the

    therapists. He clams up.

    OLIVIA

    You want me to interfere with politics?

    DAVIES

    I want you to help. Some of the Cabinet

    are already talking about the 25th

    Amendment.

    Olivia tosses his phone back.

    OLIVIA

    Vice-President. Speaker. Senate Majority

    Leader. Secretary of State. Isn’t that the

    list?

    DAVIES

    You know the Vice President was chosen

    for gender and multi-racial appeal. She

    didn’t even have one full year in the Senate.

    She’s way too green to handle the job, even

    without international emergencies. Russia is

    massing troops on the Khazak border, and

    China is enveloping Taiwan with a fleet. They

    know how vulnerable we are. I’ve got the

    Russians cowed for the moment with economic

    threats, but the Chinese aren’t going to listen for

    long.

    OLIVIA

    Try something different — like diplomacy.

    DAVIES

    It’s all going to collapse without a real

    President. And Munson isn’t that now.

    We need someone in charge who can

    control people.

    OLIVIA

    I know someone just like that.

    DAVIES

    Alright. My turn’s in two years. He’ll endorse

    me when the time comes. Right now, the country needs a functioning President. Look at all the

    good he’s done. Climate action. Infrastructure. Renewables. Population control, for Chrissake.

    He’s gotten things done nobody else would

    even dream of trying to do.

    OLIVIA

    Every one of them a corporate giveaway.

    DAVIES

    He knows how to push, he knows how to compromise. He gets things done. This world

    needs Daniel Munson. The fucking plant will

    go under if he doesn’t get back in form. We

    need you to fix him.

    Olivia leans against a wall, closes her eyes. A tear peeks out from an eye.

    OLIVIA

    Will, I’m not capable of doing this.

    DAVIES

    Your technique looks good to Bowen.

    OLIVIA

    It was ridiculed by every other psychiatrist

    in the country. I don’t even use it except when

    asked. The book was a worst-seller.

    Davies strokes her hair, gives her a shoulder. He pets her, reassures her, draws her close.

    DAVIES

    Townes and Bowen have confidence in

    you. So do I. We need you.

    Her arms wrap around him. He whispers.

    DAVIES

    I need you, too.

    Olivia pushes him off, but he’s stronger. She relents. he holds her head to his chest.

    OLIVIA

    This is exactly what I didn’t want.

    Davies’ hands drift down to her neck. Olivia shudders. He draws her face to him. Her robe falls open.

    INT. OLIVIA’S APARTMENT — MORNING

    Olivia sits up in bed suddenly, gasping for air. Davies is gone. Olivia looks around, as if unsure where she is and what has happened.

    OLIVIA

    No, please, no.

    She pulls back the sheets and sees the stains on the bed.

    OLIVIA

    Oh my god.

    She rushes to the toilet, kneels down, and vomits.

    After a minute, she rises, washes her face, dries off, and goes into the kitchen. She brews coffee, finds the remote, snaps on the TV, muted. Scenes of funeral preparations. She flips to MSNBC and volumes up.

    MSNBC ANCHOR

    …and we wish President Munson,

    his family, and the First Lady’s

    family, all the best during this disastrous

    time of their lives.

    Olivia flips to CNN. White House steps. The President’s daughter gets out of a limo and rushes to him.

    CNN ANCHOR

    …now, the question is, should the

    Vice President take charge until he can

    get back to some semblance of normal.

    Olivia presses buttons. Fox Noise.

    FOX ANCHOR

    … the Twenty-fifth Amendment. Munson

    has proven himself a complete incompetent

    over the last five years, and now he’s falling

    apart.

    FOX BLONDE

    Well, our thoughts and prayers go out to

    the First Lady’s family, but the President

    needs to be replaced and quickly.

    FOX ANCHOR

    And not by a wet-behind -the-ears Vice

    president, either. The Speaker of the House

    should immediately be put in charge.

    Olivia hits the “off” button and shakes her head while pouring her coffee.

    OLIVIA

    Not my circus; not my monkey.

    Stirring in the cream, she sits at the dining table and finds a note. All it says is “Please! I need you!” She crumples the paper and throws it away. She shivers, empties her coffee in one long gulp, and heads to the shower.

    INT. OLIVIA’S OFFICE — DAY

    Olivia sits behind her desk. A female patient occupies the couch.

    FEMALE PATIENT

    I suppose I shouldn’t complain too

    much about him controlling me. It’s not

    like I’m the First Lady.

    Olivia sits up.

    OLIVIA

    How do you mean?

    FEMALE PATIENT

    Well, isn’t it obvious? Her husband killed

    her, that terrible man. He’s wrecked the

    country, and when she tried to stop him, he

    stabbed her.

    Olivia jumps out of her chair.

    OLIVIA

    Okay, well, that’s good enough for

    today. Let’s see you next week, alright?

    FEMALE PATIENT

    I thought I had an hour.

    Olivia helps her up. The Female Patient puts on her shoes.

    OLIVIA

    Normally, but I have an emergency

    engagement today. I just wanted to get

    some things clarified with you.

    FEMALE PATIENT

    But you haven’t clarified anything.

    Olivia guides her to the door and out to reception room.

    OLIVIA

    No, I mean you clarified things for me.

    Good job today. ext week, same time,

    for a full hour.

    She hustles the Female Patient out the door. Another patient looks up from a chair, anticipating an early start. Olivia goes to her receptionist and leans over to her ear.

    OLIVA

    Tell him I have an emergency. Cancel

    all the afternoon appointments.

    The receptionist nods and steps over to the patient while Olivia returns to her therapy office, closing the door.

    Olivia opens her bottom desk drawer. From it she pulls out a selfie Davies took of them, in a bed, Olivia trying to cover herself with the sheet, both of them laughing. Olivia closes her eyes and leans back in the chair. She draws several long, calming breaths.

    OLIVIA

    Oh, shit.

    She punches an open phone line and dials.

  • Katherine Bennett-Greer

    Member
    January 31, 2022 at 8:59 pm

    What I learned doing this assignment is that the Protagonist may not realize she has been locked into a journey with the choice she makes, just like in life.

    EXT. BEACH BOARDWALK – DAY

    Mitzi glances behind her, and when she turns around, she nearly runs into two cops.

    Emily catches up and stops at Mitzi’s side. It’s a face off between Mitzi, the Cops, and Emily. Emily looks to the Cops and to Mitzi.

    EMILY

    She has my dog.

    MITZI

    Oh, this dog? I rescued the little guy. He was flirting with a Great Dane. Not a great match. It wouldn’t have ended well.

    The Cops fold their arms, expecting Mitzi to hand over the dog. Emily puts her hands out to take the pup. Mitzi resists handing over the dog, but the cops’ stare-down seals the deal. Mitzi hands over the dog.

    The Cops continue on their way.

    MITZI

    I’ll buy the dog.

    EMILY

    No! He’s mine.

    From Mitzi’s fanny pack, Mitzi pulls out the most cash anyone can cram into a fanny pack. Emily’s eyes widen, but the Chihuahua in the tote bag pokes his head out and whines. Mitzi tries to drop the money into Emily’s tote. Emily jerks the tote away with the dog in it, and Mitzi and Emily STRUGGLE for the tote.

    Emily gets her hands on the dog and drops him into her beach tote, out of sight.

    From 25 yards out, Kat, Emily’s Mom, sees what appears to be a stranger messing with her kid. She runs towards Emily.

    KAT

    What is going on here?

    EMILY

    Nothing..I..

    MITZI

    My money dropped out of my fanny pack, and she was just returning it to me.

    KAT

    Emily, is that what happened?

    EMILY

    Yep.

    Mitzi flashes the wad of U.S. bills.

    KAT

    That’s a lot of cash to be carrying around.

    MITZI

    I like to shop. Well, you take care.

    Mitzi turns to leave.

    EMILY

    Aren’t you forgetting something?

    MITZI

    I…

    EMILY

    You know, the reward?

    KAT

    Emily!

    MITZI

    That’s okay. She’s..honest…

    Mitzi peels away a one-dollar bill from inside the stack of bills.

    MITZI

    And I’m happy to reward her for her..honesty.

    Mitzi hands the bill to Emily. Emily smirks. Mitzi looks down at the bill.

    MITZI

    Oh, it that a dollar? I meant to give you this.

    Mitzi slips the one-dollar bill into her pocket and snags a five-dollar bill from the bill stack. She hands it over.

    MITZI

    That’s Honest Abe, and a lot of Pesos.

    Emily takes the bill.

    EMILY

    (Fake gratitude)

    Thank you.

    MITZI

    Oh, you’re very welcome.

    Mitzi stashes her cash into her fanny pack.

    Mitzi

    I have a feeling I’ll be seeing you.

  • Lori Lance

    Member
    March 7, 2022 at 7:20 pm

    Lori’s Act 1 Turning Point

    What I learned… I’m a little concerned that things aren’t falling where they need to page-wise, but I keep moving forward and remind myself that this is about writing the first draft quickly.

    Outline Turning Point Act 1:

    INT. THOMAS’ HOUSE

    Beginning – A small group from the church congregation is at Thomas’ house decorating for Christmas.

    Middle – Thomas’ literally puts away Christmas when they leave.

    End – Thomas is distraught as he holds a picture of his late wife.

    Turning Point Scene:

    INT. THOMAS’ HOUSE – DAY

    A GROUP OF FRIENDS from the church are at Thomas’ house to help decorate for Christmas. John and Miriam are among the others there to help.

    A couple of women decorate the fireplace mantle. Some garland accidentally obscures a picture of Thomas and his late wife.

    TWO GUYS carry a fresh-cut tree and place it in a tree stand.

    MIRIAM

    What a perfect tree.

    Thomas nods.

    Miriam opens a bin of lights and other ornaments, and the group decorates the tree together.

    There’s some small talk and laughing, but Thomas is fairly quiet. He pretends to be joyful but isn’t very convincing.

    INT. THOMAS’ HOUSE – A LITTLE LATER

    The decorating is done, and guests are leaving.

    Thomas gives each one a heartfelt thank you.

    Miriam is the last to leave.

    THOMAS

    Thank you, Miriam.

    MIRIAM

    Of course, I’m always happy to help.

    (beat)

    Oh, shoot, I forgot to bring you a pie.

    THOMAS

    That’s alright. I don’t need a pie.

    MIRIAM

    Well, no one needs a pie. I’ll be back.

    THOMAS

    No, Miriam, that’s quite alright. Thank you.

    Miriam gives Thomas a puzzled look.

    Thomas closes the door with a SIGH of relief then turns to look over the fully decorated living room. His eyes stop when he gets to the mantle and notices that the picture of him and his late wife is partially hidden behind a string of garland.

    He hurries across the room and removes the garland, accidentally knocking over a beautiful snow globe with a winter church scene. The snow globe crashes with water and glass spreading across the floor.

    Thomas quickly cleans up the mess with a broom and dustpan and then an old towel.

    He picks up the garland once again and looks at it. He then places it back into an empty bin. He hurriedly puts all the Christmas decorations from the mantle back into the container.

    But then there’s the tree still taunting him.

    He practically tackles it, wrapping his arms around it and scooting it across the floor and finally into a coat closet in the hallway. A branch and a couple of strands of tinsel stick out.

    Thomas sees his arms cut up from the tree.

    Thomas takes the picture of Joan from the mantle and sits down in his chair to look at it.

    THOMAS

    (sobbing)

    Joan.

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