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Post Day 11 Assignment Here
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18 Replies
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Robert Wood’s Turning Point 1 Scene
What I learned doing this assignment is that I’m reasonably pleased with what I’m doing but am frustrated that my first Act is significantly short on material (for example here I am at my turning point and I only have one scene instead of several)… But I do have an idea I’m excited about for another angle on the story to weave throughout, and I plan to add it in the rewrite phase, or possibly during the last day of work on Act 1… will see how it goes!
Turning Point 1 Scene:
EXT. FAMILY HOUSE – DOCK – NIGHT
Matt sits on the dock, alone with his thoughts, smoking a cigarette and drinking wine. Bert approaches.
BERT
Bad habits are hard to break.
MATT
Don’t worry — I quit.
BERT
Huh. You must know a different definition of ‘quit’ than I do.
Matt throws the butt in the lake.
BERT
Littering now — much better.
MATT
Just relax!
Bert sits down on the dock. Belches.
BERT
Your dinner gave me heartburn.
MATT
Don’t worry — I won’t cook for you again.
BERT
You tell me not to worry quite often, have you noticed that?
MATT
And yet just thinking of coming here drove me to pick up a pack of cigarettes on my way.
BERT
I suppose that’s my fault.
MATT
Never mind. Just drop it, okay?
BERT
Sure. We’ll find something else to fight about.
MATT
Very funny.
They look out at the lake, illuminated by moonlight.
BERT
You know what we should do tomorrow?
MATT
What’s that?
BERT
Rent a boat. Get out there on the lake.
MATT
Oh no, no, no.
BERT
Just you and me. It’ll be like old times.
MATT
I didn’t come here for that!
BERT
What did you come here for if not to spend some time reminiscing about memories with your old man?
MATT
There’s a lot of work to do around the house before we can list it for sale…
Bert immediately lowers his head.
MATT
Sorry.
BERT
Jillian and you — you’re both in on it.
MATT
We’re only doing what needs to be done.
BERT
You could stay here.
MATT
Oh no — we’re not even going there.
BERT
So you’re going to sell it all.
Matt is silent.
BERT
Then all the more reason to go out on the lake tomorrow.
MATT
How d’you figure?
BERT
If this is the end of one life, and the beginning of another, why not end it with a bang?
MATT
A trip on the lake…
BERT
One last exploration trip. Father and son, just like we used to.
Bert is getting lost in his memories.
BERT
And maybe this time we’ll find what we’ve always been looking for… out there, under those waves.
MATT
I can’t believe I’m even thinking about this.
BERT
Good. Then it’s settled!
Matt downs the rest of his wine.
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Rebecca Jordan’s Act 1 Turning Point Lesson 11
What I learned from this assignment is that I guess I was going faster that I thought. I also learned that process helps to iron out the progression/order of scenes, which is complicated since my script moves back and forth in time and it’s super easy to get lost. Phew! I think I’m getting pretty satisfied with it’s progression and no longer feel lost in the back and forth! I am also now okay with the fact that I may still need to do some shuffling.
__________Act 1 – Turning Point 1 Outline__________
Beginning: Rachel is distracted with her Uncle’s suicide. Unable to work. Gives up.
Middle: She finds her Mom’s address that her Aunt gave her and contemplates her next move.
End: She calls the police station and asks them to go to her house with a message to call her so that she can deliver the news.
__________Act 1 – Turning Point 1 Scene__________
INT. SMALL BARN – CONTINUOUS
Rachel pours another cup of coffee. Moves some pics around on the wall. Stares at the wall. Lays on the couch. Lights a roach from the ashtray. Stubs it out.
She gets the waste basket and finds the crunched up piece of paper with Mom’s address from her Aunt N. Stares at it.
Opens computer. looks up the address.
Then looks up the number to the nearest police department and calls.
RACHEL
Hi. My Mom lives there, close by and her phone seems to be disconnected and I need to reach her.
Rachel switches to speaker. And pours another cup of coffee.
OFFICER
Is this an emergency?
RACHEL
It’s kind of an emergency. Yes.
OFFICER
Okay.
RACHEL
Is there any way that you could go to her house and give her a message to call me?
OFFICER
What’s the name.
RACHEL
My name is Rachel.
OFFICER
Your Mom’s name.
RACHEL
Oh, she goes by B. B T…
OFFICER
The address.
RACHEL
Um, it’s 555 that street.
OFFICER
And what’s your number? Rachel, right?
RACHEL
Correct. My number is 222-555-1234l
OFFICER
Okay hon. We’ll see what we can do.
RACHEL
Great. Thank you so much! If you could write a little note that her daughter needs to speak with her. It’s really important.
OFFICER
And that’s it?
RACHEL
Yes. Thank you. It’s personal. So —
OFFICER
That’s okay. If nobody’s there, we’ll leave the note on the door or in her mail box. Okay? Do you want a call back from us?
RACHEL
No. That’s perfect. Thank you so so much.
OFFICER
Okay Rachel, you have yourself a nice day.
RACHEL
You as well. Thanks again.
OFFICER
Bye bye now.
RACHEL
Bye.
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Charles Ferrell’s Turning Point 1 Scene
What I learned doing this assignment is the beauty that can come in the flow, the protagonist being thrust into a situation of bad choices and finally choosing what will be his evolution.
Turning Point 1 Sequence
INT.CLASSROOM/ HALLWAY /CHANCELLORS OFFICE – DAY
Duncan is in class and his cell rings, he ignores it and it rings again and again. Finally out of frustration he reaches in his pocket
DUNCAN SMALLS
(index finger in the air to the students)
Hold on .. Yes this is Duncan
CHANCELLOR’S ADMIN
Mr. Smalls, this is Felicia the Chancellor’s admin assistant, the chancellor would like to see you.
DUNCAN SMALLS
Me?..He wants to see m..
CHANCELLOR’S ADMIN
(interrupts)
Yes you and 2 pm is the only time that works for him, which is in 15 minutes.
DUNCAN SMALLS
Uhhh, Ok, I’ll be there
Hangs up
STUDENT 1
Did you say the Axis powers were well supplied or under supplied going into Russia?..I think I wrote it down wrong
DUNCAN SMALLS
Umm, under, over.. Yes undersupplied thus the push toward oil fields.
(under his breath to himself)
The chancellor wants to see me? I’ve never met the man
INT.UNIVERSITY HALL – 10 MINUTES LATER
Duncan is walking down the hall lost in his head as to why he is being summoned. He nears the Chancellors office and passes Professor Winfield (the old Sargent) headed the other way.
DUNCAN SMALLS
Hey Prof… (stops himself mid greeting as he notices the Professor refuses to make eye contact)
He nears the door as it is just now closing on its own. He walks into the outer office and looks toward Felica.
INT.CHANCELLORS OFFICE – MOMENTS LATER
DUNCAN SMALLS
Hi I’m Du
CHANCELLOR’S ADMIN
(interrupts pointing to the Chancellors door still open)
I know.. Go in, he’s waiting
He walks in, the Chancellor elbows on his chairs arms and hands clasped together in front of him. Duncan reaches to shake his hand and the chancellor doesn’t reach back.
CHANCELLOR
Just please have a seat, this should be short.
DUNCAN SMALLS
(mumbles in confusion) Ok, sir
CHANCELLOR
I understand that you are a paid teaching assistant and a phd candidate?
Chancellor motions for a response of acknowledgment to which Duncan nods.
CHANCELLOR
It has been brought to my attention that as of late you have been, lets say off of your game.
DUNCAN SMALLS
Sir I can ex..
CHANCELLOR
(interrupts with a hand motion)
Let me be brief and get to the point. I expect staff and potential staff to be on point, on time and to uphold the values of this institution.
I’m not a historian and do not know about any Secret Military institution’s.
( stops himself with a gesture and changes tracks)
Look, we all have our moments of stress where we run thin and fail to distinguish between working theories and facts.
Duncan is speechless with a stunned look, trying to process where this is headed.
CHANCELLOR
Slides a business card across the desk to Duncan
If this is all confusion about theory and facts, great. Declare your thesis and do your research!
His hand still on the business card and taps it with his index finger.
If its not, reach out to our staff therapist and she can help.
Leans back in his chair and clasps his hands again
I knew you would understand and do the right thing.
Motions him toward the door, turning back to his computer. Duncan walks out in a numb stupor. Stands outside in the hallway briefly.
DUNCAN SMALLS
(talking to himmself)
Soo..I either declare my nightmares as my thesis subject, or I openly admit I’m loosing it?
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Don Thompson’s Turning Point 1 Scene
What I learned: Turning points are necessary to keep tension and forward momentum in your script. In fact, they are essential.
FADE IN:
INT. LOWER DECK – TABLE – NIGHT
Claggart’s staff HITS a tabletop.
CUT TO:
CLOSE, TABLE: SAME TIME
The men all look to Claggart as they eat their soup.
CLAGGART
Line up. Keep your bowls with you.The men move from the table and line up.
Claggart walks the line of men. He stops in front of O’Daniel, takes his bowl and sips the soup. Then he surveys the group.
CLAGGART
Do you like the stew?The men are silent.
CLAGGART
The Captain gets better stew, I’m sure you all know that.The men look on.
CLAGGART
The Captain gets better stew because he’s a better man. For one, he can read. He brings books with him – books on this very ship about subjects you cannot even fathom!As Claggart walks by he bumps into Billy Budd and Billy’s soup spills on the ground. Claggart then hits the bowl with his whip and it falls on the ground.
Claggart looks at the bowl.
CLAGGART
Budd – you’ve dropped your soup!Billy observes.
BUDD
You hit me, sir.Claggart glares at him.
CLAGGART
I hit you?He looks to the other men.
CLAGGART
Did any of you see me hit Budd?The men remain silent.
CLAGGART
Johnson – did you see me hit Budd?Johnson is silent. Johnson holds his side.
CLAGGART
Johnson – pick it up!Johnson doesn’t move at first. Claggart walks to him and prods him with his staff.
CLAGGART
Are you hard of hearing? Pick up the bowl!Johnson leans down to pick up the bowl, WINCING in pain.
He is overcome, and cannot lift the bowl – in fact, he is unable to get up.
CLAGGART
Johnson – you don’t look fit.JOHNSON
I’m fine.Claggart looks at the others and turns away. As his back is turned to them, he chides them.
CLAGGART
I want you all to hate me. I want you to hate me and have your hatred be your motivation for everything you do.He turns around.
CLAGGART
The Captain missed that point in his speech. Hatred can motivate a man. It can motivate him to do quite profoundly unthinkable acts. Do you all agree?The men are silent.
CLAGGART
Hate me. Hate me and you will do well.Claggart turns and leaves. Once he is gone, the men relax and filter back to the tables.
KINKAID
He’s gonna get himself killed by one of us. I just wonder who.O’DANIEL
Maybe you.KINKAID
I definitely hate the bastard. He is certainly the sourest thing that ever landed on this good earth from Heaven or Hell.Kinkaid turns to Billy.
KINKAID
Do you hate him, Budd?Billy ponders.
BILLY BUDD
I don’t hate any man. It’s a fault, I suppose.Beat.
BILLY BUDD
Is it true Claggart killed a man on the mainland?O’DANIEL
Aye, I heard as much. It’s like that with some of these seamen. Either the Navy or prison. For me, it would have been Debtor’s prison. 10 pounds I owed. -
Janeen’s Turning Point 1
What I learned doing this assignment is that I had lumped the actual turning point into the next scene so I had to split it out to make it clear that they’re committed.
INT. MALL – CONTINUOUS
HOLLY and RUDY cling to the Segway, chugging from one side of the hall to the other in what seems like slow motion, clipping a wind chime kiosk on one side.
The mall cop reaches for the Segway handles to help steer.
RUDY
Touch this again and I’ll kill you with my bare hands. You’re the lookout, not the driver.
The mall cops snickers.
HOLLY
He means it. He’s retired CIA and I’m sure he’s killed lots of people.
She hesitates.
HOLLY
Although I’m sure most of them were bad guys and you seem like a nice guy.
The mall cop bobs his head with humility.
INT. MALL – MOMENTS LATER
NICK emerges from the locker room, go bag in hand, still in the Santa suit, Grizzly still in her pouch.
Nick looks both ways, spots the edge of a gun as he edges out of the locker room entrance, drops the bag, pulls the gun across in front of him, smacks the gunman’s arm onto the tiled corner of the wall with a resounding crack.
The arm dangles at an impossible angle as Nick steps in front of the guy whose face is contorted in pain. Nick punches him in the face, the gut, the face again, and ends with a round house kick to the head. The guy topples.
Nick looks quickly around, drags him into locker room.
INT. MALL – MOMENTS LATER
Nick emerges from the locker room to find one of his male elves contemplating his go bag.
NICK
There’s a guy passed out in the back. He puked back there.
The elf looks shocked.
NICK
Take a deep breath, get in and out fast.
Nick grabs the go bag and runs down the hall.
CUT TO:
INT. MALL – CONTINUOUS
HOLLY and RUDY continue their slow pace toward the mall door. The MALL COP is spinning in slow circles, paranoid, but more afraid of Rudy yelling at him again.
HOLLY
So did you ever hear back from your contact about Santa?
Rudy still has a death grip on the handlebars.
RUDY
Not yet.
(pauses)
The other guy shot Ivy though so, there’s that. Santa kicked his ass. That was good. He must be okay.
Holly shrugs her acceptance.
HOLLY
What are we going to do about Ivy? I loved that girl like a daughter.
RUDY
Me too. Although technically, she should have checked those guys out over night. They were here yesterday. She was never, what you might call, thorough.
HOLLY
She was sweet, though. Still, shot like that. I shudder just thinking about it.
RUDY
Stop shuddering. You’re making this thing go all crooked.
Shots of their slow progress in quick succession, crashing into:
– a cheese kiosk,
– A stained glass art kiosk,
– A mall trash can,
– A baby carriage pushed by a mother with two toddlers,
– The information desk at the mall entrance, and finally,
– The exit door.
INT. MALL – MOMENTS LATER
Nick rounds a corner with his go bag.
The fourth mercenary, mammoth, stares at the mall cop and Segway at the mall door. He reaches for his weapon with one hand and presses a bluetooth headset with the other.
Before he can say anything, Nick grabs a thick crockery cookie jar in the shape of a Christmas tree from a kiosk, smashes it into the man’s head. The kiosk clerk is aghast.
Mercenary 4 turns slowly to stare at Nick.
NICK
Oh boy.
Nick slips off Grizzly’s pouch and rolls it across the floor behind a calendar kiosk in one smooth motion.
He reaches for another piece of crockery. The clerk gasps.
Nick glares at him. Hands raised, the clerk points to a less costly item. Nick gives a tiny nod, grabs the cheaper crock and smashes in the face of the mercenary,
Blood runs from his nose, he staggers back and Nick gives him a punch to the gut. He doubles over, Nick gives him a knee to the face. He falls to the floor. Nick looks around, spots a macrame kiosk. Grabs several bright red and green plant hangers.
INT. MALL – MOMENTS LATER
NICK steps back from the bound up mercenary, looking for Grizzly.
He strides behind the calendar kiosk. The kiosk’s clerk is on his knees examining the pouch in his hands with wonder.
NICK
Open it and you won’t need a calendar because you won’t see tomorrow.
The petrified clerk raises the pouch above his head without looking over his shoulder at Nick.
Nick opens the pouch and Grizzly hops onto his shoulder. He puts the pouch in his go back, strides to a mall exit, fishing his keys from his pocket.
EXT. MALL – MOMENTS LATER
Nick’s car screeches to a halt at the mall door. NICK jumps out, rushes to open the mall doors, practically pulls HOLLY and RUDY out of the mall and into the back seat of his car.
NICK
Belt up. That FBI guy is right behind you.
INT. NICK’S CAR – MOMENTS LATER
NICK, still in the Santa suit, burns rubber away from the mall as DASHER hobbles out of the mall to look after him.
Nick focuses on driving, but lets GRIZZLY out of her pouch without looking.
NICK
You okay little girl?
HOLLY
I’m not a little girl.
NICK
I was talking to my service dog.
He reaches over, gently scratches her head, drives like a maniac away from the mall.
They are silent for a long moment.
The FBI radio on the seat crackles.
DISPATCHER
All agents, be aware, Mr. And Mrs. Claus have been abducted from location M. Be on the lookout for a blue 2009 Honda Civic. If sighted, report the location. Do not approach. Hostages are believed to be on board.
Holly and Rudy exchange nervous glances. Nick licks his lips nervously, pats Grizzly’s head, scratches her neck.
NICK
Was that guy really FBI?
RUDY
I didn’t know him, but Ivy did.
NICK
Ivy?
RUDY
Our secret service agent. The pretty girl I saw you looking at yesterday.
HOLLY
And today.
NICK
The one who got shot?
They all look down, leaving the question in the air for a beat.
NICK
The FBI guy. What was that about?
RUDY
No idea, but if I had to guess, Agent Dasher has been turned by a foreign government. His muscle looked to be foreign mercenaries.
NICK
So you were being kidnapped?
RUDY
If we weren’t, then we are now.
NICK
I’m no kidnapper.
Nick and Rudy’s eyes meet in the rear view mirror. They reach an understanding with their glance.
The FBI radio repeats the APB.
Nick lets out a deep breath.
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Subject line: Daisy Ridgway Khalifa’s Turning Point Scene [Lesson 11]
What I learned doing this assignment: This lesson is helping me really “beat out” story scenes and see the story. At this point, I am seeing a few changes I can make to my beat sheet, but, I also must remember to just keep moving ahead and write.
Act 1 Scenes Leading up to Turning Point & Turning Point Outlines:
INT. MIA’S WORKPLACE – MORNING
BEGINNING: Mia works at a museum. Has a good job and has interesting work. [establishing]
MIDDLE: Mia tells her close friend and confidante at work, IAN GARDNER, 34, about her old house and asks him to have drinks after work.
END: Mia and Ian plan to go out after work to discuss PINECLIFF, because Mia has something on her mind.
INT. GEORGETOWN BAR – NIGHT
BEGINNING: Mia and Ian have fun at happy hour. Their relationship is affectionate but not romantic, but more or less, they are falling in love.
MIDDLE: Ian is awestruck and wants to know more about the house where Laughton lived. Mia shares fun facts, among them, Charles hosted for Ed Sullivan the night Elvis Presley appeared.
END: Ian helps Mia remember some key things about her meeting with Charles. They agree it all has to do with earthquakes, when they happened—and when they didn’t. They get drunk.
INT. LIBRARY OF CONGRESS – DAY
PLACEHOLDER: Ian, a very good researcher by trade, teaches Mia how to navigate the Library of Congress. They research Charles and Elsa and find all sorts of papers, and Mia finds some curious clues. Ian, of course, pulls all of the Elvis documents he can find and veers off into numerous directions b/c he loves this stuff. Ian also brings information from his father, MICHAEL GARDNER, who corresponded with Charles Laughton about the script for the play Don Juan in Hell.
INT. MIA’S APARTMENT – NIGHT
PLACEHOLDER: Paul Gatto asks Mia to go to L.A. She says yes because it is a chance to visit Pinecliff. “We’re going first class. Thought you might enjoy that,” he says. Mia wonders if she is prostituting herself and feels shame.
INT. MIA’S WORKPLACE – NEXT DAY
PLACEHOLDER: News arrives that Michael Gardner, Ian’s beloved father, was killed in a car crash. Ian has gone home to be with family.
Key Scene 4/Turning Point/Lock in the Journey:
BEGINNING: Mia arrives in L.A. with Paul. She is equipped with her research and all sorts of data, is in L.A. as she makes her way alone to visit abandoned Pinecliff. Ian’s father’s death consumes Mia.
MIDDLE: Mia goes to her old house and takes it all in. She sees that some the expensive beautiful things her mother did to the house are still there. She has a flashback about a fight her parents had. And then she sees Charles in the same spot— “their spot” — in the garden. He looks the same while she is 25 years older. She tells him she is the little girl, which Charles finds absurd and impossible.
END: They have a long interaction about earthquakes, fate, her life and his life—and she provides proof that she is Little Mia, 25 years older. Still, Charles is unconvinced and Mia asks if they might meet again. When they part, she asks him about the Lord Byron scholar Michael Gardner and said if he helps you with Don Juan in Hell, make sure you give him a job. In other words, Mia wants to meddle with fate and believes she can because she has encountered Charles again.
Scenes:
INT. MIA’S WORKPLACE – WASHINGTON, D.C. – MORNING
Establishing. Mia works in the National Museum of American History. She greets colleagues, puts her bags down, and heads straight for another office.
INT. MUSEUM – IAN GARDNER’S OFFICE – CONTINUOUS
Mia appears in IAN GARDNER’S office, which is more of a storage closet with a window, lodged between the director’s office and a secretary’s office. Ian, 35, is a young, smart, handsome, if quirky and nerdy, assistant to the museum director. Mia and Ian have become close friends.
MIA
Are you curious about me?
IAN
Infinitely.
MIA
Have I ever mentioned my Los Angeles roots?
IAN
Which part?
MIA
The part about Hollywood.
IAN
Please be more specific.
MIA
The part about Charles Laughton.
IAN
Laughton. Laughton. Laughton. Aah. Let me guess. You lived in the same house as he did.
MIA
Very good. But did I ever mention that I met him?
IAN
You left that out.
MIA
Ian, I need to talk with you. This is important, maybe because it s so silly and unimportant, but my mind is racing with strange memories of a supernatural nature.
IAN
Super-natural-nature. This must be very important or you wouldn’t have coined such a clever collection of words.
MIA
Drinks tonight?
IAN
I’ve been waiting for you to ask since —
Ian sits up as he sees the museum director, BLAIR GORDON, standing in the doorway. From Ian’s look, Mia responds, and turns quickly to greet at the formidable Gordon, a tall, lanky, bespectacled septuagenarian with the energy of college student. Gordon gives Mia a disinterested once over and directs his attention to Ian.
GORDON
Good morning, Ian. Have you got that Molly Pitcher research for me?
An awkward moment, Mia is so unwelcome and needs to get out of the office.
MIA
Thanks, Ian. Talk to you soon. Nice to see you, Sir.
INT. HALLWAY – CONTINUOUS
Mia beelines it down the hall and mouths to herself:
MIA
Molly Pitcher?
INT. IAN’S OFFICE – CONTINUOUS
Gordon steps in and stands where Mia was standing, giving Ian a look of mild disgust.
GORDON
Ian, seduction is the art of a careerist woman.
Ian is dumbstruck and smiles uncomfortably. Gordon’s jealousy is hanging in the air. Ian pulls some papers from a stack on his desk.
IAN
This is what I found on Molly Pitcher.
CUT TO:
INT. GEORGETOWN – BAR – NIGHT
Mia and Ian are seated at a table, working on their second drink. Two empty shot glasses are on the table and Ian and Mia are in the thick of discussion.
MIA
Truth is I don’t know why I am even doing this. Thinking about it. It’s ridiculous but something is gnawing at me. Why am I thinking about my old house–like a fool–thinking I’ll see him again if I go?
IAN
Let’s just go with it, Mi. Y’know. Let’s suspend our disbelief.
MIA
See? Deep down, you’re a practical man, Mr. Gardner. And so, so, generous with your imagination.
IAN
I’ll be generous with any part of my person, tangible or intangible, for you.
MIA
Promise you’re not patronizing me? And that you’re not rolling your eyes and shaking your head in pity because I am bat shit crazy. I remember it, Ian. I remember it, like a dream but I also recall the very moment, the physcial moment, where I was standing. It happened. But, here’s the problem.
IAN
There’s a problem?
MIA
I was child. My mind was nimble, hopeful, naive. I had so much fear, and yet none at all. But everything was so clear.
Beat.
MIA
I’m obviously nuts, but, Ian, it was so clear. I can just see him now.
IAN
Okay. So? What do you want to do?
MIA
Study him. I want to show you everything I know. There is something else. I have something he dropped- a piece of stationary. You’re going to freak out.
IAN
I don’t freak out, in case you haven’t noticed.
MIA
We need to know everything about his life at that time. He was teaching acting classes in the back yard. He had Shelley Winters in his classes. She went to Pinecliff.
IAN
Really? Poseidon Adventure Shelley Winters?
MIA
She was in a lot of important movies, Ian. Gas Light, A Place in the Sun, the Anne Frank Movie and, Night of the Hunter.
(beat)
And there is more–something important, two things, actually. That you will care about.
IAN
Hold on. Before I care to much, I have to be the devil’s advocate about one minor detail. Why are you so worked up? I think it’s fascinating. I think what happened is fascinating. But, why now? Why are you so charged up about this? Because the house is empty? Well, okay. So you go, and then what? You see him again? I just don’t want you to be disappointed.
MIA
Fair enough. You are so right. I’ve created a scenario that is a fantasy. Incidentally, I always do that.
IAN
What are the two things?
MIA
Umm. Two things? I forgot.
Ian rolls his eyes.
IAN
Wondering. You probably wouldn’t make a very good litigator.
MIA
Wait! I remember. Oh. These are big. Laughton mentioned meeting a child dressed in “orange plaid pants” to Robert Ryan, the actor, one of his students that day. Robert Ryan put that in his biography- I think he was talking about how weird Charles was. I happen to adore Charles by the way.
IAN
I am not sure whether to ask about the orange plaid pants in, when was it, June? You poor kid– or about where you found that information. It’s pretty spooky.
Mia is looking somberly at Ian.
MIA
There is something else.
(Beat)
He guest hosted for Ed Sullivan.
IAN
That’s what celebrities do for each other, I suppose.
(Beat)
It’s very cool. Nice.
Mia is still as she speaks.
MIA
The night he hosted, the guest on the show was Elvis Presley.
Ian gets up and walks around the table. He walks over to the dart board. He walks out the door of the bar and back in. He sits.
IAN
Let’s be reasonable here. I would like two more shots, and
(Beat)
I would like Charles to get me an autograph, to me, from Elvis. Provided you see him again.
He smiles, relaxes, his theatrics have put Mia into hysterics.
INT. GEORGETOWN – BAR – LATER
Mia and Ian are animated and buzzed. They are having a second round of shots.
IAN
To Charles and Elvis.
MIA
You already toasted them. And they weren’t really friends. They had nothing in common. It was an awkward night at best. To Charles and Elsa!
IAN
To Elsa and Elvis! Golly, all these firsts with you. Who knew I would ever raise a glass to Elsa Lanchester and Elvis Presley?
Ian reels it all in for the moment and looks at Mia sincerely.
IAN
(holding is shot glass)
Mi, this is to you. You’re a strong woman with a beautiful imagination, whose words I don’t doubt for a minute–
MIA
Yes you do.
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Peter Birdsong’s Turning Point 1 Scenes
What I Learned: Anyone else running short? I’m only on page ten. I’m going to keep going forward, but I am SO tempted to go back and edit. It’s very difficult.
INT. PLANE – NIGHT
Laurel taps at keys on her laptop resting on her first-class tray table.
LAUREL
This is a 100 million dollar deal I’m now negotiating remotely.
CARLY
What’s your point?
LAUREL
This isn’t convenient for anyone.
CARLY
I’m being forced. This should be kidnapping.
LAUREL
You’re being dramatic.
CARLY
Why did he buy a boat?
Laurel pauses from her typing. Considering.
LAUREL
He always dreamed of sailing. Ever since… We went sailing. On our honeymoon.
Carly seems thoughtful.
CARLY
Well, I don’t get it. I hate the beach.
Carly puts her earbuds in.
EXT. SHIPYARD – DAY
The sun shines bright on a bustling French, shipyard. A forest of tall mast can be spied in the distance.
YACHT REP
She’s been in the water for about two weeks. Just this way.
Carly follows behind at a distance. Eyes on her phone, but occasionally glancing up to find her bearings.
EXT. MARINA – DAY
Boats line the walkway on either side of all sizes. Many look very new or well cared for.
Carly pauses for a well composed selfie.
YACHT REP
Here.
Laurel looks where the rep is gesturing. Gently rocking in the water sits a beautiful, white CATAMARAN. Carly admires the boat for a moment.
YACHT REP
Please. This way.
I/E. YACHT – DAY
Laurel steps onto the deck gently. Takes it in, slowly. Studying the shape. It’s contours. Feeling it.
YACHT REP
45 feet long. Three cabins — the owner’s cabin is port, plus two smaller in the starboard hull. Solar. Water-maker. Auto-pilot.
INT. YACHT/SALON – DAY
Laurel slides the door open. The room is spacious and open. It’s a combined galley and living area.
LAUREL
My first apartment wasn’t near this nice.
YACHT REP
He wanted you to feel comfortable. He said this.
This visibly affects her. She spies a photo mounted on the wall. A family photo… Carly was much younger. Looking behind her she spots Carly -still on the dock, hands in pockets.
YACHT REP
Would you like to take her out?
(off her look)
It’s your vessel.
I/E. YACHT – DAY
The sails, full of wind, pull them gently over the lapping waves of the Mediterranean. Laurel breaths in the air while the REP expertly helms the boat.
INT. HOTEL – NIGHT
Laurel sits at a small desk. Phone to her ear.
LAUREL
Christ, I barely know anything. I’m emailing you the documentation right now.
MALE VOICE (V.O.)
Just a minute.
(beat)
The board’s been asking about the Knox Deal. With you being out of town…
LAUREL
It’s done. Closed on it this morning.
MALE VOICE (V.O.)
Damn. Good work.
(beat)
Got it. A forty-five?
LAUREL
I-I think so.
MALE VOICE (V.O.)
That’s a good size.
LAUREL
So, an upgrade for you?
MALE VOICE (V.O.)
A small one.
Laurel waits.
MALE VOICE (V.O.)
I’m interested. But I need to see it.
LAUREL
Okay.
MALE VOICE (V.O.)
Here. Talk to the builder. They should be able to deliver it.
(Beat)
But… are you sure?
LAUREL
Yes.
(beat)
You could speak to a board member.
Carly watches her from the bed.
MALE VOICE (V.O.)
Yes?
LAUREL
The vote. Talk to Donaldson.
MALE VOICE (V.O.)
You already have a lot of support.
LAUREL
I want to be sure.
MALE VOICE (V.O.)
I’ll talk to him.
LAUREL
Boat’s on the way.
She hangs up the phone and closes her laptop.
CARLY
Did you sell it?
LAUREL
Honestly, what am I going to do with a forty-five foot sailboat?
CARLY
I don’t know.
EXT. SHIPYARD – DAY
LAUREL
Six months?
YACHT REP
Yes. Is this a problem?
LAUREL
I’m trying to close a life changing deal here.
YACHT REP
Yes ma’am. But it’s a month of sailing just to get it there. And the crew.
LAUREL
Crew?
YACHT REP
It won’t sail itself.
Laurel looks out at the boats in the water. Thinking.
LAUREL
What if I take it?
YACHT REP
Excuse me?
LAUREL
It’s my vessel, right?
YACHT REP
Yes, but I–you can’t just sail across the Atlantic.
LAUREL
Don’t tell me can’t.
YACHT REP
Have you… Pardon, but have you ever sailed?
INT. RENTAL CAR – DAY
The car door shuts. Carly looks at her mother who seems as though she’s about to jump out of an airplane. Carly pulls out a single earbud.
CARLY
What?
(beat)
Hello? What?
LAUREL
We’re going sailing.
EXT. SHIPYARD – MOMENTS LATER
Carly SLAMS the door shut!
CARLY
Are you out of your mind!? You are out of your mind!
LAUREL
I think we can do it. But I need your help.
CARLY
No. NO! Put me on a plane!
LAUREL
Be reasonable.
CARLY
You put me on a goddamn plane right now.
Laurel focuses on her daughter.
LAUREL
No.
I/E. YACHT – DAY
Laurel stands at the helm. She turns the key and the ignition rolls over. The twin engines HUM to life in the water. She walks around the boat pulling lines and doing her best to arrange them in some reasonable order on the deck.
INT. YACHT/CARLY’S CABIN – DAY
Carly tosses her bag onto the bed. Her face is stone. She SCREAMS and kicks a panel.
She pulls her phone out. Drops onto the bed and stares at the ceiling. Opens the camera app. Tightening her brows she composes the angriest selfie of her online career.
CLICK. Typing…
CARLY
Hashtag: this… is… bullshit.
I/E. YACHT – DAY
Laurel gently pushes the throttle, and the Catamaran nudges forward from it’s slip.
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I was running short, too, with only 13 pages for Act 1. Also unhappy I didn’t have enough “meat” in the beat sheet and overall story. Today I’ve come up with a new major b-story to add into it (threatening to become the a-story) and thrown out about 75% of what I had in Acts 2-4 of my beat sheet. First revision of Act 1 just finished, and adding in the beginning threads of the new story, it’s now 16 pages, so that’s better. I would have tackled this entire process differently from the start if I knew what was coming in the course ahead of time, but glad I caught the problems now rather than later. Keep going!
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Andrea Cabañas, ACT 1 – Turning Point
What I learned doing this assignment is that every day I’m getting more confident with my story. I really enjoy taking the examples given as a guide, which help a lot to understand the steps needed to follow.
1. Outline your Act 1 Turning Point.
INT. GEORGIA’S ART STUDIO – DAY
BEGINNING: Zoe focuses on her website; Georgia works on her new artwork.
MIDDLE: they talk about Georgia’s steps toward her surgery. Zoe questions if Georgia’s not afraid of dying during surgery; Georgia says she’s scared of being alone—she misses her mother apart from all struggles.
END: Zoes reads a message from a potential client and speaks over the phone to him. She misses a call from Paula but reluctantly doesn’t call her back. She cries silently.
Scene:
Zoe concentrates on updating her website. She brainstorms ideas, talks to herself, write words on paper. Georgia arrives.
GEORGIA
Having fun?
Zoe sighs, drops her pen, massages her face with her hands and stretches.
ZOE
I never thought it would be so tricky doing this. I hate marketing.
GEORGIA
Me too, so sorry hun, I can’t help you with it.
They laugh.
Georgia pokes her head on the screen.
GEORGIA
This is nice. I like the colours. Who did it to you?
ZOE
Excuse me! It was your friend Peter, that hot web designer that you introduced to me.
Georgia melts on her cozy couch with a sigh.
GEORGIA
Peter, Peter, Peter. It gives me goosebumps to remember his beard on my skin.
ZOE
How can you like a man with a beard? Have you ever thought about how many microorganisms live around his mouth? Yak.
GEORGIA
You’ve been prejudiced. Men with a beard are charming.
Zoe tilts her head with narrowed eyes.
ZOE
The only man I thought was charming was that guy from the Bee Gees; what’s his name?
GEORGIA
The Bee Gees? Oh, girl, you’ve gone too far!
ZOE
I think it’s Maurice. Or Andy? Come on. He was hot.
GEORGIA
You don’t have to go that far, Hun. What about Keanu Reeves? Brad Pitt.
ZOE
Well…
They laugh and then silent until Zoe tries to find the right voice tone for the song.
ZOE
Ah, ah, ah… Ah, ah…
Georgia follows.
GEORGIA
Ah, ah… Aaahhhh, staying alive, staying alive. Ah, ah, ah, ah…
They sing the chorus and try to imitate the Bee Gees’ voice. Both dances while seated each one at their place.
When they finish, Zoe glances at Georgia.
ZOE
Are you scared?
GEORGIA
Scared of what? Regret having taken my dick? No way, baby!
ZOE
It’s major surgery.
GEORGIA
I know, but I’m ready for it.
ZOE
I never took the risk of having liposuction for fear of dying on the operating table.
Georgia looks away through the window.
GEORGIA
I don’t fear death, really. I’m more afraid of growing old alone.
Zoe leans back and looks up, twists her lips.
GEORGIA
However… Do you want a more wonderful death than dying in surgery? I’ll be sleeping anyway!
They laugh.
GEORGIA
But tell me about this new client. Who is he? Does he have a beard?
ZOE
Get lost!
They laugh again. They talk, but we don’t listen to what it is about.
TURNING POINT
EXT./INT. JUAN’S OFFICE – DAY
Zoe meets with the Mexican drug dealer Juan, who introduces himself to her as Matias, a new client.
BEGINNING: Zoe waits for her new client in the fancy reception of his office.
MIDDLE: Zoe meets Juan, who introduces himself as Matias. He shows her what he wants to change in his office and mentions his house.
END: Juan takes Zoe to a mansion in a fancy suburb. Zoe starts working on this project. Paula’s man warns her that Juan has reached Zoe.
INT. JUAN’S OFFICE – RECEPTION – DAY
Zoe waits in a fancy reception room. MARGARETH (’30s), impeccable dressed, brings Zoe a coffee.
ZOE
Thank you.
MARGARETH
You’re welcome. Mr Oviedo won’t take long.
Zoe nods and enjoys the aroma of coffee.
ZOE
Thank you.
She eyes Margareth back to her desk and sips the coffee. After a few minutes, Juan approaches.
JUAN
Did you like the coffee?
Zoe’s caught by surprise didn’t see him coming. She clears her throat.
ZOE
Yes, thank you. It’s really good.
JUAN (55) wears bright clothes which enhance his tanned olive skin. His long black hair’s tied up in a ponytail, and he has a charming, strong accent. He extends his hand.
JUAN
Matias. Matias Gonzales.
(in Spanish)
Encantado.
Charmed, Zoe stands up and greets him.
ZOE
Nice to meet you, Mr Gonzales.
JUAN
Matias, please.
He holds her hand and stops, eyes squinted.
JUAN
Or should I say… Mat. In Australia, you like shortening names, right? You can call me Matt, then.
Juan kisses her hand softly. Zoe blushes. He mentions her to his office and walks in after her.
INT. JUAN’S OFFICE – DAY – CONTINUOUS
Juan shows his office around, which has a nice view of Darling Harbour. Zoe’s astonished by the view. He stares at her.
JUAN
Beautiful, isn’t it?
ZOE
I’m speechless. It’s the first time I’ve seen the Harbour from this point of view. You’re blessed.
JUAN
Thank you.
He motions her to sit at the meeting table. He sits at her side, both facing the beautiful view.
JUAN
My assistant found you on the internet, and I liked you, you know why?
Zoe waits with a shy smile.
JUAN
Because of the way you sell yourself, I could have hired one of those fancy architects who decorate every office in the area, but you know why I didn’t? Because all offices look the same.
Juan lets out a charming giggle.
JUAN
I like to be different. I am a migrant, am I? Why do I need to be like an Aussie when I’m not, right? And your website is unique. You are unique.
Zoe blushes.
JUAN
More coffee? Or do you prefer a bubble?
ZOE
Another coffee is fine, thanks.
Juan walks to his phone desk and orders another coffee. He comes back.
JUAN
So, Zoe. Tell me about you. How long you’ve been in this business?
ZOE
Er, I’ve been doing some projects for about four to five years. I worked for a big architecture company, but it didn’t work well… It was only recently that I decided to run my own business, you know.
JUAN
Lucky me that I found you.
Juan is too charming.
JUAN
I’ve been here in Australia for years.
He looks up, squints.
JUAN
Around ten years. It’s hard to be a migrant in this country, you know, but I managed well. I started from scratch, working as a cleaner, looking after boats here and there, until I got an opportunity, did good networking, and now I am buying and selling luxury boats worldwide.
ZOE
Luxury boats?
JUAN
Yes.
He gets up and walks toward the glassy wall facing the harbour.
JUAN
I still have a dream to sail from here to Colombia…
ZOE
It’s a big trip, I suppose. And it needs courage.
Juan squints.
JUAN
Courage?
ZOE
Well, I fear the sea. My worst nightmares are with big waves and tsunamis.
JUAN
So you’re afraid of drowning.
ZOE
I guess so.
JUAN
Or sharks.
They laugh.
JUAN
Now I need to think about what I fear the most.
Margaret enters and serves the coffee. They thank her, and Juan stares at Zoe, sipping her coffee.
JUAN
Are you afraid of heights?
Zoe stops drinking and squint.
EXT. ROOFTOP – DAY
Juan takes Zoe to his preferred spot on the roof. There’s a lovely swimming pool and a fancy small restaurant. A WAITER offers them lunch.
—TBC—
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Patrick Downey – Turning Point 1 Scenes
What I learned doing this assignment was to use that emotion I put on paper to get the feeling I hope to from my audience. I thought what makes me tear up, what makes me mad, what makes me root for a certain outcome when I watch a scene… I hope this captures that moment.
ACT 1 BEAT SHEET
EXT. WACKER DRIVE – NIGHT
Ray is killed in an auto accident
EXT. STINGNELLI’S FRONT YARD – NIGHT
Cayman receives the news that his grandfather was killed.
EXT. BUS STOP
Cayman reads text and see pictures of his grandfather’s other partners celebrating at dinner. His rage has entered an unfamiliar level that needs to be quenched.
ACT 1 OUTLINE
EXT. CHICAGO DOWNTOWN STREETS – NIGHT
BEGINNING: Ray Stingnelli is driving home from work during rush hour and as he travels northbound through a traffic light, he catches a brief glimpse of large delivery van out his peripheral vision. A loud crash, sound of glass flying, crunching of metal, a dragging sound and finally a thud against a road barrier. The vehicle Ray was driving is reduced to half its size with the impact directly on Ray driver’s side. It took the firemen an hour to cut, and pry open the car with saws and the jaws of life.
CUT TO THE STINGNELLI’S HOUSE
Caymen running as fast as he can turns the corner to see a mob of police cars and people standing out front the house. His second worst nightmare has come to pass. His grandmother is crying hysterically surrounded by his uncles and aunts.
EXT. STINGNELLI FRONT YARD
MIDDLE: Caymen out of breath and frantic signs to his grandmother to find out what has happened, but she doesn’t know sign language. He then grabbed a police officer, signing the same motion repeatedly flaying his arms and making unusual noises as if trying to yell. Finally, one of the officers grabbed his notebook and a pen and wrote “sorry kid but your grandfather was killed when a delivery truck ran a red light about an hour ago.” Cayman couldn’t believe what he was hearing as if he were in shock and the whole world grew so much quieter than it had ever been before. He threw a fit, cried out with a whaling sound that made everyone cover their ears, he was signing so fast and waving his arms all over the place the officers tried to grab him, his Uncle John-John tried to hold Cayman and calm him down, but he fought them off and dashed out the back door. Cayman ran and ran for what seemed like 10 miles and when he stopped from exhaustion and collapsed, he lied right down in oncoming traffic and was almost hit several times before getting to his feet and diving to the curb busting up his shoulder on a bus stop bench. As Cayman lay there feeling alone in the world and guilt for not being able to help his grandfather, his phone vibrated and began to flash.
CUT TO BUS STOP – NIGHT
END: Leopold who had taken pictures of Dardanos at the Violet Hour decided to follow Dardanos to his next destination. Upon opening the file, Cayman could not believe what he was seeing, pictures of Dardanos with his father and the “O” brothers having dinner and toasting with champagne. The amount of rage that was building up inside of Cayman was of an unspeakable measure and it became clear that Cayman no longer had a dilemma but a clear-cut purpose.
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TIM’S TURNING POINT 1 SCENES – DAY 11
What I learned doing this assignment is similar to the last couple assignments.
BEGINNING: Duke relaxes in a cage, looking confident, talking to Squirrel through the window.
MIDDLE: Dog Catcher calls Bob’s phone # but speaks to Karen. Duke thinks it’s Bob.
END: Duke finds out he’s not wanted home. His devastation turns to fury. He’s a bad boy now.
Int. Dog pound – dAY
Duke sits in a cage, happy to be indoors and looking confident.
Squirrel sits outside on the sill of a screened window where he can speak to Duke.
DUKE
Rex’s plan worked like a charm.
Squirrel
Yeah, but why couldn’t you just come here and turn yourself in?
DUKE
(feels stupid)
The important thing is I’m here and I’ll be going home soon.
SQUIRREL
(disappointed)
That’s great. Uh, will you visit?
Dog Catcher strolls up to Duke’s cage, holding Duke’s collar and a phone.
DUKE
Shh. It’s show time.
Dog Catcher dials a phone number. He scowls at Duke.
Dog catcher
(into phone)
Yes, hello. This is the township animal control center.
(pause)
Right, the pound. We’ve got your naughty Duke here. He was caught knocking over trash cans.
(listens)
Uh huh. Oh, is that so?
Duke studies his face to get a read on the conversation.
Dog CATCHER (cONT’D)
Oh my.
(listens)
That’s terrible.
Dog Catcher gives Duke a “tsk tsk” look.
Duke is petrified.
DOG CATCHER (CONT’D)
Are you 100% sure?
(listens)
I know. It’s a difficult decision.
(listens)
Yes, I understand. Good night.
Dog Catcher shakes his head in disapproval at Duke.
DOG CATCHER
Somebody’s been a very bad boy, hasn’t he?
Duke
Bob said that? He said I’m bad?
DOG CATCHER
No need arguing. Get comfortable because you’re gonna be staying at our fine establishment indefinitely.
Duke’s expression changes from disbelief to bitterness and anger. He morphs into a bad dog before our eyes.
Squirrel regards Duke with compassion and a little fear.
Int. BOB’S HOUSE – DAY
In the kitchen, Karen smirks as she puts down the phone.
Bob (O.S.)
(hollers)
Who was that?
KaREN
One of those extended car warranty calls. I wasted their time until they hung up.
BOB (O.S.)
Ha! Good girl.
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Lesson 11: Act 1 Turning Point
ASSIGNMENT
BG’s Turning Point 1 Scenes
What I learned doing this assignment: On a good day, I can squeeze out 1 page. Trying to keep up by keeping it short;))
1. Outline your Act 1 Turning Point.
BEGINNING: The Reporter finds the building. Huge, beautiful, 18th-century palace. Discrete gold sign reads: A Club for Patriots. He walks around it.
MIDDLE: A big, beautiful WOMAN catches up with him. She is HOSTESS. Says they met previously and offers him a job at the Club.
END: Reporter goes along and accepts.2. Write your Act 1 Turning Point.
EXT. LONDON STREET – DAY
Reporter finds the building. Huge, beautiful, 18th-century palace. Discrete gold sign reads: A Club for Patriots. As he walks around it – FOOTSTEPS. He turns around —
A big, beautiful WOMAN catches up.
WOMAN: Hi! Reporter! It’s Reporter, isn’t it? We met at Chez Jean. Don’t you remember?
REPORTER: Uhhh… No…
WOMAN: You were working there! Well, I’m HOSTESS.
(extends her hand)
HOSTESS: I work at The Club as a hostess. The Club for Patriots. Right behind you. Very well-known. Are you still at Chez Jean?
REPORTER: Uhhh… No…
Gorgeous. Big, but not over-weight. Rather, covered by a layer of smooth muscle. Hostess takes his arm firmly, turns him around and marches him toward The Club.
HOSTESS: That’s good. Because, we’re hiring! You were a bouncer at Chez Jean, right? Outside job. Igghhh! Not good. This job is inside! A waiter!
Hostess turns to him and lowers her voice conspiratorially.
HOSTESS: Actually, we’re always hiring. You wouldn’t believe how tight the job market is for a good waiter. If you can read labels on foreign wines, there is no limit to how high you can rise. You do speak foreign languages, right?
REPORTER: Uhhh… Yes…
Hostess brings him to a sharp stop right before the cathedral-style entrance of The Club.
HOSTESS: Of course, Mr. Billionaire is very picky, doesn’t like anything or anyone! He will insist on meeting you! Dress properly tomorrow.-
This reply was modified 3 years, 4 months ago by BG ERENGIL.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 4 months ago by
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Benito Selim’s Turning point scene 1
What I learned from this assignment is by breaking up the acts with the important scenes needed, the story conveys to the audience easier. It will create more mystery and not confusion.
EXT. STARKOAKS FARM – DAY
BEGINNING: Darryl and his friends sneak through a gate and film around the farm. They notice a dilapidated barn and enter.
MIDDLE: Marcus films what appear to be bloodstains. He sets up the camera on a tripod and sets up a light for his next shot. Darryl joins him and his foot sweeps over something in the hay. Darryl looks down to find a locket, he admires it and puts it into his pocket.
END: After Darryl takes the locket. Karen appears within the camera shot, but neither Darryl nor Marcus sees her. Both mention how cold it is in the barn, but when they turn in Karen’s direction; she is gone.
INT. EDIT SUIT- EVENING
BEGINNING: Darry, Marcus, Calvin, and Lorraine edit the film when they notice a lot of jump cuts in the footage. They question each other, but no one recognizes the footage.
MIDDLE: Karen appears on screen and is repeatedly stabbed and dies. Darryl and his friends react in shock. They begin arguing and blaming each other, the bulk comes down to Marcus. He denies any wrongdoing and the group eventually calms down.
END: Calvin and Lorraine inform Darryl they can remove the footage. Darryl agrees to help them but is still bothered by it. Darryl excuses himself.
EXT. COLLEGE COURTYARD- NIGHT
BEGINNING: Darryl passes a bulletin board where several missing people flyers are posted. Darryl spaces out as he flashes back to his childhood.
MIDDLE: At age 8 Darryl plays in his front yard when a little girl names Emily enters his yard and asks if he likes to play. Darryl asks her was she hurt since she appears dirty. Emily continues to play but gives no answer.
END: Mrs. Case calls for Darryl to come inside. Darryl wants to tell Emily bye, but she is gone. Darryl comes out of his flashback and continues back to his dorm. As he enters, Karen’s reflection is seen faintly on the glass door.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 4 months ago by Benito Selim.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 4 months ago by
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Katherine Bennett-Greer’s Turning Point 1 Scenes
What I learned from this assignment is that the Protagonist’s turning point sets up what happens next.
OUTLINE, ACT 1 Turning Point
Emily realizes that her dog Churro is afraid.
She believes that the bad guys mean business.
She sets up a contraption in the back entrance of the school, but it backfires.
She vows to take care of the threat.
INT. ELEMENTARY SCHOOL ALCOVE – DAY
In a narrow and darkish red brick alcove that leads to a back door, Emily gets to work building a contraption that she thinks will thwart the bad guys. She places a rope around a pulley that holds a huge mesh bag of gym balls. She pulls the rope up and sets it to loosen when someone grabs the back doorknob.
She sets the contraption, and retreats through a side door.
The thugs come nonchalantly into the alcove. One of them grabs the rope. The balls come tumbling down.
INT. SCHOOL OFFICE – DAY
Emily spies the bad guys on the security camera. She calls her siblings, who are in her mom’s office.
EMILY
Josh, Sadie!
They come running.
EMILY
Those guys, the ones with that lady who stole my dog, they’re here. Look!
iINSERT: SECURITY CAMERA FEED
The camera footage shows just gym balls on the alcove floor.
JOSH
I don’t see anyone. I think your paranoia about that dog is getting to you. You said you saw those guys at the airport, and now you say you see them here. I don’t get it? Why are you lying?
Emily turns red in the face.
EMILY
I’m not lying!
Josh looks at Emily like there’s more to say, but he doesn’t. He storms out of the office flabbergasted. Emily goes after him.
Meanwhile, Sadie’s remains in the office. On the close circuit camera of the alcove, Sadie watches a raccoon root around the floor. Then, she sees a Thug with thick glasses come into frame.
SADIE
Guys, Guys!
Emily and Josh rush in to witness the camera feed.
INT. ELEMENTARY SCHOOL ALCOVE – DAY
The Thug with the thick glasses pick up the raccoon to examine its face more clearly. He can’t make it out. He focuses in on its face,
From the raccoon’s POV, the Thug swears he sees a Chihuahua. Then, the Thug holds the raccoon up for his fellow bad guys to see.
THICK GLASSES THUG
I found the dog!
The raccoon attacks the guy’s face. He throws the raccoon up in the air and another thug catches it, in time to face the raccoon’s wrath. He wrestles with it, and it flies into the hair of the third thug. He grabs it and the racoon clings onto his jacket, until he flings the racoon onto a stack of wrestling mats.
INT. OFFICE – DAY
Emily, Josh, and Sadie sit back against the wall.
EMILY
I told you. I have to stop them.
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Dana’s Turning Point Scene
What have I learned from this assignment?
Writing the Inciting Incident first gives me a target to aim for when I write in the remaining scenes of Act I. It forces me to not to stray off course and lose track of the theme and/or direction of the story. Knowing where I am going, also helps me decide what scenes I will need to write to fill in Act I.
ACT I BEAT SHEET – TURNING POINT
EXT. HALFWAY HOUSE – NIGHT
Thugs try to kidnap Frank at his halfway house to kill him. Douglas Hill stands in the shadows watching. But Frank turns the tables and beats the crap Hill’s men.
INT. JACK’S ROOM – DAY
Frank arrives at Jack’s halfway house. He agrees to investigate the murder.
ACT I OUTLINE – TURNING POINT
EXT. HALFWAY HOUSE – NIGHT
BEGINNING: The transit bus pulls up to the stop and Frank gets out. He heads for the halfway house he’s been assigned to live. It’s a square three-story building, and from the look of it, no-one would want to live there. We hear a TRAIN WHISTLE. Frank has a bag of groceries for dinner.
MIDDLE: A woman pretends to need help with her car. Two thugs jump from Frank from nowhere. They beat him down and try to throw him in the car. Frank beats the crap out of them and locks the woman in the truck. He flees with the car and the woman.
ENDING: Jack is in his room at his halfway house sifting over his case file. Knock on the door. Suspicious, he answers. Frank is there, beaten to hell. Frank tells him he’s in, but to get his things. They leave and are on the run.
———-
EXT. FRANK’S HALFWAY HOUSE – NIGHT
It’s a drab, three story building near the tracks. No-one in their right minds would live here. The area is deserted, the streets empty. The SOUND of a TRAIN running in the b.g.
A transit bus pulls up to the bus stop. Frank steps off the bus. He’s the only one. He carries a bag of groceries. The bus pulls away, and Frank is alone on the street walking to his building.
The SOUND of METAL HITTING GROUND makes Frank turn.
EXT. PARKING LOT – CONTINUOUS
In the parking lot beside the building, a WOMAN has dropped a tire iron. She’s trying to replace the tire on her car. She’s in her thirties and rough, a woman from the neighborhood.
The trunk to her beaten up old car is open and she’s trying to pull out the tire jack, cursing.
Frank approaches and puts down his groceries.
FRANK
You need help?The woman turns, startled. She looks Frank over once, and then frustrated, accepts his help.
WOMAN
They don’t make these things for women.FRANK
No problem.The woman steps aside, backing away. Frank reaches into the trunk to out the jack.
From nowhere, MAN charges Frank swings a pipe. He SMACKS Frank blind in the back.
Frank HOWLS and stumbles away from the car.
A SECOND MAN swings a pipe, striking Frank, staggering him.
The woman backs away, watching.
The men take turns swinging, one after another. Frank tries to stand and fight. One swing knock him down. The two men beat his legs, his back.
AN ALCOVE – Douglas Hill stands in the shadows watching.
Frank fights to stand. One of the men swings hard, a blow to the back that knocks him to the ground, rolling.
MAN
Get in him in the truck.A man on each side, they hoist Frank and drag him toward the open truck.
FRANK’S POV – Being dragged to the trunk. The woman ready to slam it shut.
Frank jams his right knee into the back of the man’s leg and he stumbles. The men lose their grip, and Frank hits the ground again.
MAN (CONT’D)
Get him up!They reach for Frank again.
Frank spins off the ground. The tire iron is his hand. He swings for the fences, striking the second man in the face. His jaw CRACKS and he SCREAMS, falling.
Frank SLUGS the iron into the other man’s ribs. The man curls and staggers back. Frank hits him again and again, enraged.
The woman is suddenly on Frank’s back, clawing at his face.
WOMAN
Bastard! You bastard!Frank spins her off, grabs her and throws her in the truck and slams it shut.
The man on the with the broken jaw staggers up and runs.
The last man grabs one of the pipes. He and Frank square off.
THE ALCOVE – Douglas Hills is stunned, watching.
The man swings and misses. He lunges — lunges — then swings full. Frank meets the pipe with the iron, SMACKING the man’s fingers.
The man howls, drops the pipe. Frank beats him to the ground. He drops the iron and grabs the man.
FRANK
Who? WHO SENT YOU, YOU FUCK? WHO?The man can barely speak.
Frank searches the man, tearing through his clothes. He finds the man’s wallet and opens it. Instantly, Frank is stunned.
INSERT: A POLICE DETECTIVE’S BADGE
Frank looks around. No-one has seen the fight. The second man is gone. He looks again at the man on the ground. He kicks one last time.
FRANK (CONT’D)
(holding the badge)
I’m keeping this.Frank grabs the woman’s purse off the ground and finds her keys. Inside the trunk, the woman is CURSING.
FRANK (CONT’D)
Shut up!Frank tosses his groceries into the back seat and climbs into the driver’s seat. The ENGINE turns over.
The car backs up, shifts gears, and Frank drives off.
THE ALCOVE – Hill steps back, vanishing into the shadows.
INT. JACK’S ROOM – NIGHT
Jack sitting on the sofa reading through the civil case file. Papers are spread about. A SOFT KNOCK on the door interrupts him. It’s suspicious at this late hour. He hesitates.
AT THE DOOR
Jack has his old service weapon drawn, behind his back. He unlocks the door and grabs the handle. Carefully, he opens the door.
Frank stands in the hallway. Bloody and beaten and pissed off. He stands there and lets Jack take in the full picture.
JACK
What the hell? — Who?Frank tosses Jack the detective’s badge. Jack is shocked.
Frank pushes into the room. He moves to the window, searching outside.
FRANK
Get your shit. We have to get out of here.JACK
We?FRANK
I’m in. All the way. -
ACT I TURNING POINT BEAT SHEET:
INT. OLIVIA’S APARTMENT — NIGHT
Davies is waiting in Olivia’s apartment. He shows her a video of the President. It shakes her. Davies asks Olivia to help the President, or he will have to invoke the 25th Amendment. The Vice President, he says, is too green — she was chosen for her gender and multi-racial appeal — and won’t be able to handle any major emergencies or the opposition party. Munson has cowed them into submission temporarily, but they are just waiting for the next election cycle. Davies says he’s certain Munson will will endorse him for nominee. But it will all collapse if Munson doesn’t get back on his feet. He makes love to her. She tells him this is exactly what she doesn’t want.
INT. OLIVIA’S APARTMENT — MORNING
Olivia awakens. Davies is gone. Olivia goes to the toilet, kneels down, and vomits. She discovers a one-word note: Please! On TV, Olivia hears echoes of the 25th Amendment. She shakes her head “Not my circus; not my monkey.”
INT. OLIVIA’S OFFICE — DAY
Olivia sees her final patient for the day. It’s easy to see she can’t go back to this after being asked to treat the President. She calls Davies.
ACT I TURNING POINT OUTLINE:
INT. OLIVIA’S APARTMENT — NIGHT
BEGINNING: Davies is waiting in Olivia’s apartment. She huffs that people knock before entering someone else’s dwelling. He raps on the table and says “Knock, knock.” She walks past him to the bedroom and undresses, slips into Spandex and a robe. Davies watches, telling her that he’s taking a big risk coming here. She responds that yes, she could have him jailed for breaking and entering.
MIDDLE: Davies shows Olivia a video of the President on his phone. Munson is silent, hypnotic. It shakes her. Davies asks Olivia to help the President, or he will have to invoke the 25th Amendment. The Vice President, he says, is too green — she was chosen for her gender and multi-racial appeal — and won’t be able to handle any major emergencies or the opposition party. Davies has cowed them into submission temporarily, but they are just waiting for the next opportunity. Olivia says she knows lots of people like that. Davies admits he has Presidential aspirations and he’s certain Munson will will endorse him for nominee. But it will all collapse if Munson doesn’t get back on his feet.
END: Olivia says she’s not ready for this. Davies strokes her hair, pets her shoulders, reassures her, draws her close. Her arms slowly find their way around his torso. He kisses her head, her face, her lips. “I need you, too.” he whispers. She tells him this is exactly what she doesn’t want. Davies runs his hands down her neck and she shudders. Her robe opens.
INT. OLIVIA’S APARTMENT — MORNING
BEGINNING: Olivia awakens, gasping for air. Davies is gone. Olivia looks around, as if unsure where she is and what has happened. She pulls back the sheets and sees the stains on the bed. She rushes to the toilet, kneels down, and vomits.
MIDDLE: Olivia brews coffee. Stirring in the cream, she sits at the dining table and finds a note. All it says is “Please! I need you!” She crumples the paper and throws it away.
END: Flipping on the TV, Olivia hears echoes of the 25th Amendment on news stations. CNN wonders if the President is capable of performing his office after his wife’s death. MSNBC wishes him the best. Fox anchors scream that he’s a complete incompetent to begin with, and now will be totally unable to execute the least of his duties and must be replaced, not by the fish-out-of-water Veep, but by the Republican Speaker of the House. Olivia hits the “off” button. She shakes her head “Not my circus; not my monkey.” She shivers, empties her coffee in one long gulp, and heads for the shower.
INT. OLIVIA’S OFFICE — DAY
BEGINNING: Olivia sees her final patient for the day. She describes some mundane problem she has with her boyfriend, then adds that at least she isn’t dead like the First Lady. Olivia nearly jumps out of her chair and tells the patient that her time is up.
MIDDLE: Olivia goes out to her receptionist. There is another patient waiting. Olivia whispers in her receptionist’s ear to make an excuse for her; she can’t see anyone else today. The receptionist nods and steps over to the patient while Olivia returns to her therapy office.
END: Olivia opens her bottom desk drawer. In it is a selfie Davies took of them, in a bed, Olivia trying to cover herself with the sheet. Olivia closes her eyes. She punches an open phone line and dials his number.
ACT I TURNING POINT:
INT. OLIVIA’S APARTMENT — NIGHT
Olivia opens her apartment door and freezes. A man, WILL DAVIES, 45, well-groomed and manicured, is sitting at her dining table. Olivia recovers, goes through her normal routine at the. door, and walks to the bedroom.
OLIVIA
Most people knock before they enter
someone else’s home, you know.
Davies raps the table twice.
DAVIES
Knock, knock.
He rises, follows her to the bedroom, and leans against the door frame.
DAVIES
I was afraid you wouldn’t let me in.
OLIVIA
You’re not afraid of anything. You take
whatever you want, you use whoever
you want.
Olivia undresses, slips into Spandex and a robe.
DAVIES
I’m taking quite a risk coming here.
OLIVIA
You mean breaking and entering?
Yeah, big risk. I could call the cops.
DAVIES
Not unless you want them to know I
watched you undress and you let me.
OLIVIA
There, that’s the old Will Davies I knew
and loved. The great manipulator.
DAVIES
I’m not here for that.
OLIVIA
You’re here to offer an apology?
Accepted. Now get out.
Davies pulls out his cellular.
DAVIES
I need you to see this.
OLIVIA
What is it, old porno movies of us?
DAVIES
It’s a nation in crisis.
OLIVIA
How romantic.
Davies grabs her arm. She yanks it away.
OLIVIA
I’m not yours to drag around any more.
DAVIES
I’m serious. Look.
Davies holds up the phone. The video shows Munson, soon after his wife was discovered. He’s a shrinking, quivering lump of Jello in an armchair. Covered with his wife’s blood. Holding the knife.
Olivia takes on her “professional look”. She takes the phone from him, watches the action as the FBI and Secret Service mill about the room.
OLIVIA
Should you be showing me this?
DAVIES
No.
OLIVIA
Who recorded this?
DAVIES
I did. No one else has seen it.
There’s a long shot of Munson. He’s totally withdrawn, unresponsive as investigators rain questions down on him like a press conference.
OLIVIA
He’s in shock.
DAVIES
Go to the next video.
Olivia obeys. Munson at a cabinet meeting, railing at some of the cabinet officials.
DAVIES
He jumps down people’s throats, or
shuts down. there’s no in-between.
OLIVIA
Classic PTSD. You don’t need me, you
need a therapist who handles vets coming
back from Iraq.
DAVIES
We can’t get him to talk to any of the
therapists. He clams up.
OLIVIA
You want me to interfere with politics?
DAVIES
I want you to help. Some of the Cabinet
are already talking about the 25th
Amendment.
Olivia tosses his phone back.
OLIVIA
Vice-President. Speaker. Senate Majority
Leader. Secretary of State. Isn’t that the
list?
DAVIES
You know the Vice President was chosen
for gender and multi-racial appeal. She
didn’t even have one full year in the Senate.
She’s way too green to handle the job, even
without international emergencies. Russia is
massing troops on the Khazak border, and
China is enveloping Taiwan with a fleet. They
know how vulnerable we are. I’ve got the
Russians cowed for the moment with economic
threats, but the Chinese aren’t going to listen for
long.
OLIVIA
Try something different — like diplomacy.
DAVIES
It’s all going to collapse without a real
President. And Munson isn’t that now.
We need someone in charge who can
control people.
OLIVIA
I know someone just like that.
DAVIES
Alright. My turn’s in two years. He’ll endorse
me when the time comes. Right now, the country needs a functioning President. Look at all the
good he’s done. Climate action. Infrastructure. Renewables. Population control, for Chrissake.
He’s gotten things done nobody else would
even dream of trying to do.
OLIVIA
Every one of them a corporate giveaway.
DAVIES
He knows how to push, he knows how to compromise. He gets things done. This world
needs Daniel Munson. The fucking plant will
go under if he doesn’t get back in form. We
need you to fix him.
Olivia leans against a wall, closes her eyes. A tear peeks out from an eye.
OLIVIA
Will, I’m not capable of doing this.
DAVIES
Your technique looks good to Bowen.
OLIVIA
It was ridiculed by every other psychiatrist
in the country. I don’t even use it except when
asked. The book was a worst-seller.
Davies strokes her hair, gives her a shoulder. He pets her, reassures her, draws her close.
DAVIES
Townes and Bowen have confidence in
you. So do I. We need you.
Her arms wrap around him. He whispers.
DAVIES
I need you, too.
Olivia pushes him off, but he’s stronger. She relents. he holds her head to his chest.
OLIVIA
This is exactly what I didn’t want.
Davies’ hands drift down to her neck. Olivia shudders. He draws her face to him. Her robe falls open.
INT. OLIVIA’S APARTMENT — MORNING
Olivia sits up in bed suddenly, gasping for air. Davies is gone. Olivia looks around, as if unsure where she is and what has happened.
OLIVIA
No, please, no.
She pulls back the sheets and sees the stains on the bed.
OLIVIA
Oh my god.
She rushes to the toilet, kneels down, and vomits.
After a minute, she rises, washes her face, dries off, and goes into the kitchen. She brews coffee, finds the remote, snaps on the TV, muted. Scenes of funeral preparations. She flips to MSNBC and volumes up.
MSNBC ANCHOR
…and we wish President Munson,
his family, and the First Lady’s
family, all the best during this disastrous
time of their lives.
Olivia flips to CNN. White House steps. The President’s daughter gets out of a limo and rushes to him.
CNN ANCHOR
…now, the question is, should the
Vice President take charge until he can
get back to some semblance of normal.
Olivia presses buttons. Fox Noise.
FOX ANCHOR
… the Twenty-fifth Amendment. Munson
has proven himself a complete incompetent
over the last five years, and now he’s falling
apart.
FOX BLONDE
Well, our thoughts and prayers go out to
the First Lady’s family, but the President
needs to be replaced and quickly.
FOX ANCHOR
And not by a wet-behind -the-ears Vice
president, either. The Speaker of the House
should immediately be put in charge.
Olivia hits the “off” button and shakes her head while pouring her coffee.
OLIVIA
Not my circus; not my monkey.
Stirring in the cream, she sits at the dining table and finds a note. All it says is “Please! I need you!” She crumples the paper and throws it away. She shivers, empties her coffee in one long gulp, and heads to the shower.
INT. OLIVIA’S OFFICE — DAY
Olivia sits behind her desk. A female patient occupies the couch.
FEMALE PATIENT
I suppose I shouldn’t complain too
much about him controlling me. It’s not
like I’m the First Lady.
Olivia sits up.
OLIVIA
How do you mean?
FEMALE PATIENT
Well, isn’t it obvious? Her husband killed
her, that terrible man. He’s wrecked the
country, and when she tried to stop him, he
stabbed her.
Olivia jumps out of her chair.
OLIVIA
Okay, well, that’s good enough for
today. Let’s see you next week, alright?
FEMALE PATIENT
I thought I had an hour.
Olivia helps her up. The Female Patient puts on her shoes.
OLIVIA
Normally, but I have an emergency
engagement today. I just wanted to get
some things clarified with you.
FEMALE PATIENT
But you haven’t clarified anything.
Olivia guides her to the door and out to reception room.
OLIVIA
No, I mean you clarified things for me.
Good job today. ext week, same time,
for a full hour.
She hustles the Female Patient out the door. Another patient looks up from a chair, anticipating an early start. Olivia goes to her receptionist and leans over to her ear.
OLIVA
Tell him I have an emergency. Cancel
all the afternoon appointments.
The receptionist nods and steps over to the patient while Olivia returns to her therapy office, closing the door.
Olivia opens her bottom desk drawer. From it she pulls out a selfie Davies took of them, in a bed, Olivia trying to cover herself with the sheet, both of them laughing. Olivia closes her eyes and leans back in the chair. She draws several long, calming breaths.
OLIVIA
Oh, shit.
She punches an open phone line and dials.
-
What I learned doing this assignment is that the Protagonist may not realize she has been locked into a journey with the choice she makes, just like in life.
EXT. BEACH BOARDWALK – DAY
Mitzi glances behind her, and when she turns around, she nearly runs into two cops.
Emily catches up and stops at Mitzi’s side. It’s a face off between Mitzi, the Cops, and Emily. Emily looks to the Cops and to Mitzi.
EMILY
She has my dog.
MITZI
Oh, this dog? I rescued the little guy. He was flirting with a Great Dane. Not a great match. It wouldn’t have ended well.
The Cops fold their arms, expecting Mitzi to hand over the dog. Emily puts her hands out to take the pup. Mitzi resists handing over the dog, but the cops’ stare-down seals the deal. Mitzi hands over the dog.
The Cops continue on their way.
MITZI
I’ll buy the dog.
EMILY
No! He’s mine.
From Mitzi’s fanny pack, Mitzi pulls out the most cash anyone can cram into a fanny pack. Emily’s eyes widen, but the Chihuahua in the tote bag pokes his head out and whines. Mitzi tries to drop the money into Emily’s tote. Emily jerks the tote away with the dog in it, and Mitzi and Emily STRUGGLE for the tote.
Emily gets her hands on the dog and drops him into her beach tote, out of sight.
From 25 yards out, Kat, Emily’s Mom, sees what appears to be a stranger messing with her kid. She runs towards Emily.
KAT
What is going on here?
EMILY
Nothing..I..
MITZI
My money dropped out of my fanny pack, and she was just returning it to me.
KAT
Emily, is that what happened?
EMILY
Yep.
Mitzi flashes the wad of U.S. bills.
KAT
That’s a lot of cash to be carrying around.
MITZI
I like to shop. Well, you take care.
Mitzi turns to leave.
EMILY
Aren’t you forgetting something?
MITZI
I…
EMILY
You know, the reward?
KAT
Emily!
MITZI
That’s okay. She’s..honest…
Mitzi peels away a one-dollar bill from inside the stack of bills.
MITZI
And I’m happy to reward her for her..honesty.
Mitzi hands the bill to Emily. Emily smirks. Mitzi looks down at the bill.
MITZI
Oh, it that a dollar? I meant to give you this.
Mitzi slips the one-dollar bill into her pocket and snags a five-dollar bill from the bill stack. She hands it over.
MITZI
That’s Honest Abe, and a lot of Pesos.
Emily takes the bill.
EMILY
(Fake gratitude)
Thank you.
MITZI
Oh, you’re very welcome.
Mitzi stashes her cash into her fanny pack.
Mitzi
I have a feeling I’ll be seeing you.
-
Lori’s Act 1 Turning Point
What I learned… I’m a little concerned that things aren’t falling where they need to page-wise, but I keep moving forward and remind myself that this is about writing the first draft quickly.
Outline Turning Point Act 1:
INT. THOMAS’ HOUSE
Beginning – A small group from the church congregation is at Thomas’ house decorating for Christmas.
Middle – Thomas’ literally puts away Christmas when they leave.
End – Thomas is distraught as he holds a picture of his late wife.
Turning Point Scene:
INT. THOMAS’ HOUSE – DAY
A GROUP OF FRIENDS from the church are at Thomas’ house to help decorate for Christmas. John and Miriam are among the others there to help.
A couple of women decorate the fireplace mantle. Some garland accidentally obscures a picture of Thomas and his late wife.
TWO GUYS carry a fresh-cut tree and place it in a tree stand.
MIRIAM
What a perfect tree.
Thomas nods.
Miriam opens a bin of lights and other ornaments, and the group decorates the tree together.
There’s some small talk and laughing, but Thomas is fairly quiet. He pretends to be joyful but isn’t very convincing.
INT. THOMAS’ HOUSE – A LITTLE LATER
The decorating is done, and guests are leaving.
Thomas gives each one a heartfelt thank you.
Miriam is the last to leave.
THOMAS
Thank you, Miriam.
MIRIAM
Of course, I’m always happy to help.
(beat)
Oh, shoot, I forgot to bring you a pie.
THOMAS
That’s alright. I don’t need a pie.
MIRIAM
Well, no one needs a pie. I’ll be back.
THOMAS
No, Miriam, that’s quite alright. Thank you.
Miriam gives Thomas a puzzled look.
Thomas closes the door with a SIGH of relief then turns to look over the fully decorated living room. His eyes stop when he gets to the mantle and notices that the picture of him and his late wife is partially hidden behind a string of garland.
He hurries across the room and removes the garland, accidentally knocking over a beautiful snow globe with a winter church scene. The snow globe crashes with water and glass spreading across the floor.
Thomas quickly cleans up the mess with a broom and dustpan and then an old towel.
He picks up the garland once again and looks at it. He then places it back into an empty bin. He hurriedly puts all the Christmas decorations from the mantle back into the container.
But then there’s the tree still taunting him.
He practically tackles it, wrapping his arms around it and scooting it across the floor and finally into a coat closet in the hallway. A branch and a couple of strands of tinsel stick out.
Thomas sees his arms cut up from the tree.
Thomas takes the picture of Joan from the mantle and sits down in his chair to look at it.
THOMAS
(sobbing)
Joan.
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