-
Post Day 12 Assignment Here
Reply to post your assignment.
-
16 Replies
-
Robert Wood’s Finished Act 1
What I learned doing this assignment is that I didn’t have enough material (and good “meaty” material) in my original story and beat sheet. I’ve now thrown out about 75% of what I had for acts 2-4 and completely revised it with a new major b-story — almost an a-story. My Act 1 was way too short (13 pages), but starting to weave in the beginnings of my new storyline has brought it up to 16 pages, which is getting better. I’m much happier with my overall story now. Wish I’d known what was coming in some of these lessons from the beginning – I would have made different choices from the start, but oh well – better that I figured out the problem and fixed it now rather than in another week or two!
ETA: Due to changing so much of my plot for Acts 2-4, I’ve had to go back and re-write Act 1 in order to be able to move forward.
Finished Act 1 (for now):
EXT. MOUNTAIN HIGHWAY – DAY
Winter highway. A car races past – shiny, expensive, and clearly exceeding the road conditions.
INT. CAR – DAY
MATT, 50, edgy and agitated, taps the steering wheel as he drives. Music cuts out and a call rings through the speakers. He glances at the name display: JILLIAN.
MATT
(cynical)
Awesome.
He hits the button to take the call.
MATT
Hey, sis.
JILLIAN (V.O.)
Hey, Matt. How are you?
MATT
Living the dream.
JILLIAN (V.O.)
On your way?
MATT
Yeah, not far now. You?
A BEAT – no answer.
MATT
Jill?
JILLIAN (V.O.)
Things are a little out of control here, Matt. Paul has meetings all week, and then the sitter cancelled, and–
MATT
Jesus, Jill!
JILLIAN (V.O.)
I’ve really been looking forward to seeing you.
MATT
Don’t do this to me.
JILLIAN (V.O.)
Sorry, but I’m really not going to be able to get away.
MATT
Damn it!
JILLIAN (V.O.)
You’ll do fine without me.
MATT
I’ve got a fucking life, too, you know, and asshole employees jerking off if I’m not there making sure they do their jobs.
JILLIAN (V.O.)
I know–
MATT
I don’t even want to do this!
JILLIAN (V.O.)
What — be responsible?
MATT
Oh, fuck you! Says the woman who’s not even coming.
JILLIAN (V.O.)
I’d be there if I could.
MATT
Right.
(BEAT)
Have you talked to him lately?
JILLIAN
He’s getting worse.
MATT
Sure.
JILLIAN
He can’t stay on his own anymore. Not there.
MATT
I’ll be there soon.
JILLIAN (V.O.)
I’m just a call away if you want my input on anything–
MATT
A call, and 4000 kilometers.
JILLIAN (V.O.)
…Or if you just want to talk.
MATT
Got it.
JILLIAN (V.O.)
You’ll do fine.
MATT
Glad you have such tremendous faith in me.
JILLIAN
Talk soon.
The call disconnects.
MATT
Great. Fucking great.
He taps the steering wheel harder.
INT./EXT. GAS STATION – DAY
Matt’s car is parked a lot adjacent to a gas station / convenience store.
Matt exits the store unwrapping a pack of cigarettes. He extracts one, lights up, and inhales like he hasn’t smoked for a year — which he hasn’t.
INT. CAR – DAY
Matt drives up to the family house and parks. As he looks at the house a lifetime of memories cross his face.
EXT. FAMILY HOUSE – FRONT STEP – DAY
Matt has the front door key on his ring, unlocks the door and enters.
INT. FAMILY HOUSE – ENTRY – DAY
Matt takes off his jacket and shoes. The house is quiet.
MATT
Dad?
No answer.
MATT
Hello?
He looks around a bit, peering around corners.
MATT
Damn, keep it hot enough in here?
He turns down the thermostat in the hallway.
MATT
Old people.
He enters the…
INT. FAMILY HOUSE – OFFICE – DAY
Matt enters his dad’s office, jammed with Ogopogo-related stuff –- newspaper clippings and blurry photos tacked up like wallpaper. Stacks of paper, old binders and books.
Some things never change.
A cardboard box catches Matt’s eye. He reaches for it, but is distracted by a photo pinned to the wall…
Himself age 10, beside a sculpture of the sea creature, smiling mascot for the city of Kelowna.
BERT
(singing)
His mother was an earwig; his father was a whale…
Matt turns to face his dad, BERT, mid-70s and showing every year but still possessing a wiry strength.
BERT
(singing)
A little bit of head; and hardly any tail; and Ogopogo was his name.
MATT
There you are.
BERT
I heard noises.
MATT
I let myself in.
BERT
Thought you might have been Mabel. She comes most days.
MATT
Just me.
BERT
It’s out there, Matty.
MATT
What is?
BERT
It’s always been out there, just below the surface.
MATT
The monster?
BERT
Here there be monsters…
Bert touches the same photo pinned to the wall.
BERT
There you are with Ogopogo. Doesn’t look much like a monster, huh? A spirit, they say… a cryptid, more like…
(BEAT)
Remember that day?
MATT
No. What was I, ten?
BERT
Full of spunk…
Matt is only slightly surprised to see a memory of himself — YOUNG MATT, age 10, pass by the open door — dinosaur figure in hand, roaring.
BERT
You don’t remember it?
MATT
No, sorry.
BERT
Greatest regret of my life. I was so damn close, I know it! It’s out there, under those waves…
MATT
Greatest regret of your life?!
BERT
What else is there?
MATT
Besides a fantasy sea monster?
BERT
Fantasy?! Huh!
MATT
I don’t know… things you didn’t do with your kids–
BERT
Legendary, certainly, but not fantasy!
MATT
Fights with your wife…
BERT
Fights with my…? No… Water under the bridge…
(BEAT)
The bridge…
Bert rummages through papers, following that train of thought.
BERT
There’ve been a lot of sightings around the bridge over the years…
Bert is now lost in his thoughts.
Matt shakes his head as he walks past the old man and leaves the room.
INT. FAMILY HOUSE – KITCHEN – DAY
Matt unpacks bags of groceries and a case of wine.
He opens the fridge freezer and finds a stack of frozen TV dinners. Eye roll.
MATT
Yum.
Bert enters, reading from a book on Ogopogo, mumbling to himself.
BERT
…zeuglodons, most likely…
MATT
Zeuglo-whats?
BERT
A sort of primitive, snakelike whale… Yes, yes… it’s in the undulating motion…
MATT
You don’t ever give it up, do you?
BERT
Why would I do that?
MATT
Might be nice to talk about something real-world.
BERT
Real world?!
MATT
Exchange pleasantries. How’s you’re life going and shit like that.
Matt pours a glass of wine and takes a sip.
BERT
Did you just say your life’s shitty?
MATT
No. You heard that?
BERT
I thought I did.
MATT
Well, no.
Bert gets a glass and pours wine for himself. They clink glasses.
BERT
There’s a logic to it somewhere… A thread… All these lake monsters around the world–
Doorbell rings. Both go to answer it…
INT. FAMILY HOUSE – ENTRY – DAY
Matt and Bert open the door to greet MABEL, 60s, who probably always smells of fresh baking, bearing a casserole.
BERT
There she is!
MATT
Hey, Mabel.
MABEL
Matt, good to see you. I didn’t know you were coming.
MATT
Yeah, well… it was time.
BERT
She’s so good to me.
MATT
We’re grateful, you know.
MABEL
Oh, it’s nothing — just a casserole here or there when I figure Bert might need a bit of home cooking…
She hands the casserole to Bert.
BERT
I’ll put this in the kitchen.
Mabel waits for Bert to leave.
MABEL
…And maybe a watchful eye.
MATT
Thanks for that. You know we’re grateful.
MABEL
You staying long?
MATT
Can’t leave him here alone anymore. We’re going to get everything packed up and move him into a care home.
MABEL
End of an era. You selling the house?
Matt nods. Mabel frowns.
MATT
I’ll keep you in the loop.
They hug and Matt watches Mabel walk up driveway.
INT. FAMILY HOUSE – OFFICE – DAY
Matt finds Bert organizing papers.
MATT
She’s a good lady, Mabel.
BERT
Always bringing me food.
MATT
She cares.
BERT
Don’t know what she wants to fatten me up for…
Matt spots the casserole sitting on a shelf, atop books. Picks it up.
MATT
Guess you didn’t get this to the kitchen yet.
BERT
Hmm? No… I just had to do something in here first.
MATT
That’s okay… I’ll take it.
A confused look crosses Bert’s face.
BERT
I never missed a weekend, did I?
MATT
A weekend of what?
BERT
We’d go out on the lake… searching for Ogopogo–
MATT
Well, it wasn’t every weekend…
BERT
You enjoyed it.
MATT
Sure, when I was a kid. Besides, wasn’t all that more for you than for me?
BERT
Back when kids could dream.
INT. FAMILY HOUSE – DINING ROOM – EVENING
At the dining table, Matt and Bert eat dinner and drink red wine. Matt scans realty pages on his iPad, clicks on a listing for a winery.
BERT
Rude to be looking at that thing at the dinner table.
MATT
Kids these days.
BERT
What are you looking at, anyway?
MATT
Comparable listings for selling this house.
BERT
(strains neck to see)
A winery? You thinking of becoming a farmer?
MATT
Farmer? That’s not what they’re called.
BERT
Everything has a fancy name these days.
MATT
Besides, I couldn’t afford it if I wanted to.
BERT
Nice to dream.
Matt shuts the cover on the iPad, goes back to his dinner.
BERT
Better than my usual.
MATT
Yeah, Stouffer’s have nothing on home cooking.
BERT
I eat well. And Mabel’s good to me… Of course, it’s not like when your mother was around…
Matt suddenly sees his family at the table with him and Bert: YOUNG BERT (35), YOUNG JUNE (40), YOUNG JILLIAN (13), and himself, YOUNG MATT. All smiling and enjoying the meal.
BERT
(shivers)
It’s getting cold in here.
MATT
It’s fine.
BERT
What did you do?
MATT
It’s normal room temperature.
BERT
It’s cold.
MATT
I’ll get you a sweater.
A switch flips in Bert.
BERT
No, no — don’t worry about me. Why start now?
MATT
What do you mean?
BERT
No — you’re the big man around here! Suffering with this doddering old idiot in your life.
MATT
Oh, come on–
BERT
How does it feel to play God with your old man’s life?
MATT
It’s not like that–
BERT
Don’t be a damn fool! I know I’m dying!
MATT
You’re not dying.
Bert’s rage dies down and he returns to normal.
BERT
No. No, I’m not… Not yet.
MATT
It’s okay, Dad.
BERT
What were we talking about?
MATT
Don’t worry about it. Just finish your dinner.
Matt pushes back his plate, takes his wine, and goes outside.
Bert is left staring at his meal.
EXT. FAMILY HOUSE – DOCK – NIGHT
Matt sits on the dock, alone with his thoughts, smoking a cigarette and drinking wine. Bert approaches, carrying a jacket.
BERT
Bad habit.
MATT
Don’t worry — I quit.
BERT
You must know a different definition of ‘quit’ than I do.
Matt throws the butt in the lake.
BERT
Littering — much better.
MATT
Very funny.
Bert hands Matt the extra jacket.
BERT
Here – you’ll catch your death out in this cold.
Matt puts on the jacket.
MATT
It’s not so bad.
Bert sits down on the dock. Belches.
BERT
Your dinner gave me heartburn.
MATT
Don’t worry — I won’t cook for you again.
BERT
You tell me not to worry quite often, have you noticed that?
MATT
And yet just thinking of coming here drove me to pick up a pack of cigarettes on my way.
BERT
I suppose that’s my fault.
MATT
It’s nothing.
BERT
Sure. We’ll find something else to fight about.
MATT
Haha.
They look out at the winter lake, dark and brooding.
YOUNG BERT and YOUNG JUNE emerge from the house, laughing, glasses of wine in hand, and walk to the dock. It’s a warm summer evening for them.
YOUNG JUNE
What a perfect night.
YOUNG BERT
It is, but any night is perfect with you.
YOUNG JUNE
You charmer!
She kisses him.
YOUNG BERT
I’m not looking forward to you going away for so long.
YOUNG JUNE
Oh, you and Matty will be fine.
YOUNG BERT
It’s not that. I’m going to miss you.
YOUNG JUNE
I’m going to miss you, too, but you know how sick Momma is, and there’s no one else to take care of her this summer… unless you want to go?
YOUNG BERT
Oh, no! No, no, no!
YOUNG JUNE
Then it’s settled.
(Laughs)
Besides, it’ll be good for Jillian and I to have some girl time alone. And for you boys to have some time alone, too!
YOUNG BERT
Yeah, you’re probably right.
YOUNG JUNE
Darn right I am.
Matt looks back out at the lake.
Young Bert and Young June are no longer on the dock.
BERT
I’m not leaving, you know.
MATT
What do you mean?
BERT
We’re all still here… I can’t leave your mother.
MATT
Dad, Mom’s gone.
BERT
You think I don’t know that?
MATT
It’s not about being here — her memory’s wherever you are.
BERT
Well, then right now I’ll take those memories back inside… where it’s warm!
MATT
You do that.
BERT
Don’t stay out here too late.
MATT
I won’t…
Bert pats Matt on the back and heads toward the house.
Matt downs the rest of his wine.
MATT
I have to refill my glass.
INT. FAMILY HOUSE – OFFICE – NIGHT
Matt sips from a full wine glass. Puts it down and pulls down the box he’d noticed earlier.
Inside are various old papers, letters, newspaper clippings, photos… all with a theme Matt has yet to figure out.
He reads the first newspaper clipping — a CLASSIFIED AD:
IN SEARCH OF OGOPOGO — VISITING FROM SCOTLAND AND LOOKING FOR LOCAL EXPERTS TO ASSIST IN SEARCH. CALL 555-0104.
YOUNG BERT now sits at the desk, newspaper in hand, picks up the phone and dials…
INT. FAMILY HOUSE – MATT’S BEDROOM – NIGHT
Matt enters the dark room carrying the box. Puts it down on a table in front of the bedroom window, closes his eyes and rubs them. It’s been a long day.
Opening his eyes, something catches his attention out the window…
MATT
What the hell?!
EXT. FAMILY HOUSE – BACK YARD – NIGHT
Bert, bare-footed and wearing pyjamas, pulls a battered old canoe down from the side of the house toward the lake.
By the time Matt emerges from the house, Bert has the canoe in the water, knee-deep in the cold water, and is trying to get into it.
Matt gets to Bert quickly and tries to calm him.
MATT
Whoa, Bert! Where are ya goin’?
BERT
Leave me alone!
MATT
It’s not a very nice night for a canoe trip.
Matt has a grip on the canoe, stopping Bert from pulling it out further into the water.
BERT
Let me go!
MATT
Where do you want to go?
BERT
I’m going to face it!
MATT
To face what?
BERT
The monster… out on the lake.
MATT
Not tonight. It’s cold and dark.
BERT
I don’t give a damn! You’ve got to let me go! You’ve got to!
MATT
I can’t do that. It’s not safe for you to go out there.
BERT
God damn you — let me go!
Bert struggles to pull the canoe out into the water but Matt holds it firm. Bert’s mad energy fades to a whimper…
BERT
Let me go.
Matt puts his arm around Bert to guide him out of the water.
MATT
Let’s go back inside.
Utterly drained, Bert complies.
-
Charles Ferrell’s Finished Act 1
What I learned from doing this assignment is that I got rougher to move faster, worried less about proper format or true dialogue and just captured the general idea of what I want to shift or change. I likely need more or different scenes in future drafts but it feels great to crank this out in just 2 1/2 hours!
ACT 1
INT.UNIVERSITY CONFERENCE ROOM – DAY
A panel of tenured professors is seated in a single table facing the room of candidates, from behind we see an unknown student
PHD CANDIDATE 1
My theme for my thesis is on the economic and over crowding conditions that led to the black plague.
LEAD PANEL PROFESSOR
Approved and thank you…Calling Duncan Smalls
Approaches the seated panel standing before them nervously
LEAD PANEL PROFESSOR
Go on, please present your theme
DUNCAN SMALLS
I’m working on it
PROFESSOR WINFIELD
You are late blah blah blah, you are on thin ice
Walks out into the hallway and makes a call
DUNCAN SMALLS
Tells girlfiend he will be home late, he must be in the library tonight
INT.UNIVERSITY LIBRARY – EARLY EVENING
At a large table in the library with books and papers scattered, a woman in early 30’s arrives in hospital scrubs. We can see on her scrubs she is a MD, with two cups of coffee in hand.
DUNCAN SMALLS
No cofee allowed in this section
GIRLFRIEND
Comments on no girlfriend allowed at home alone either after a long day at the hospital, offers help
DUNCAN SMALLS
Wishes she could help but can’t seem to help himself
GIRLFRIEND
Maybe share process for elimination, maybe its too hash, i do troubleshoot medical data all day
DUNCAN SMALLS
I must get this done, its life or death
GIRLFRIEND
Funny so is my job, life or death that is. I’m not scared. Maybe this is a bit of performance anxiety (she reaches between his legs under the table) Trust me, I’m a doctor
DUNCAN SMALLS
He says something about that not being the fix for this situation
GIRLFRIEND
She brings up him having stress hives when they met in the ER and how she fixed them that night.
INT.DUNCAN APT – EARLY MORNING
GF finds him asleep amid a pile of papers and books at the table. She gently removes the book from his chest and he begins to wake
GIRLFRIEND
When did you get up, did you sleep here long, i didn’t notice you leave the bed
DUNCAN SMALLS
He asks what time it is, (he is incorherent)
GIRLFRIEND
Almost 7, get in the shower and I’ll grab you some clothes
She is standing outside the shower that is running holding some clothes and a towel
GIRLFRIEND
You don’t have to run yourself down for people to be proud. If your family were here they would be proud
DUNCAN SMALLS
They are dead, so we don’t know
GIRLFRIEND
I get it, med school was hard and residency isn’t much better at resident pay but things take time. You can force them or they break down
DUNCAN SMALLS
(takes the towel) I need this phd, to one day get tenure. No different than your MD but i need the winning theme
GIRLFRIEND
Lets just get some coffee and breakfast. Set aside talk of tenure or staff physician struggles
INT.COFFEE SHOP
They enter the coffee shop, others are being shown to tables. The waitress just waves them on with a familar smile, they walk to their spot.
WAITRESS
brings coffee
I already signalled the cook, i assume the regular
GIRLFRIEND
Yeah, same ole same ole..thank you..small talk
DUNCAN
Asks if she can just bring a whole pot, brings up waking up to write
Girlfriend
I thought we agreed to not talk about work
DUNCAN SMALLS
He says she agreed with herself, he can’t think about anything else right now
GIRLFRIEND
she talks about how trying to force the creative process might be the thing that is choking it off. If he takes a step back then something might show up.
Food comes, more work discussion they loose track of time and ends up running late for class.
INT.CLASSROOM – LATER
Duncan in a rush walks into a class that is settled and waiting for him
Duncan smalls
apologizes for being late, asks the students a question and confuses a term, they correct him.
Duncan smalls
Acknoledges the correct warmly, yawns then continues on the subject
Student 1
Asks about is operation paperclip was real, did nazi scientists come here
Duncan
Discuses the subject with the student and makes a quick note midsentence in his book
Student 1
Quips that Duncan owes him if he uses that for a thesis
Duncan
Continues with the subject has them discuss with each other
While they discuss he makes more notes in his notebook
EXT.DUNCANS APT – LATER
Duncan is making some notes and thinking, looks a little less stressed like he maybe onto something.
Gilfriend
Asks what or how he is
Duncan
Says he maybe onto something
Writes faster not looking up at her, she reaches under his chin lifting his gaze to her
Girlfriend
Says something about her needing to be onto something
Climbs between him and the table blocking his work
Duncan
Lightly argues about needing to keep working
Girlfriend
she makes a comment about being a medical professional and he should trust her, they have sex.
He wakes up the next morning fully rested and
Girlfriend
she comments on her treatment being effective
INT.COFFEE SHOP –
They follow the same entrance routine with the waitress, we sense this is their routine.
Duncan smalls
Talks about feeling better about things in general and slept great
Girlfriend
Smiles and nods, comments about he should listen to her or at least give in
Duncan smalls
Agrees with her and that things are coming together and just take time and sometimes a break
They have more pleasant small talk with a general feeling of emotional improvement
INT.CLASSROOM – DAY
He is in the classroom and students are still entering, he is not late and looking well rested.
Student 2
Comments about him looking much better than lately
Student 1
Quips about it being due to stealing his idea
Student 3
Jokes that he must have gotten some last night
Duncan smalls
Replies that yes he did get some, get some sleep
Duncan is writing something on the whiteboard and hears a gigle
Duncan smalls
Is something funny
Students
Have no idea what he is talking about they heard nothing
He turns over his shoulder and sees a flash child size running behind a chair. He looks away and then back.
He rubs his eyes
Student
Is he tired again so fast
He teaches more after a moment sees the flash out of the corner of his eye again.
Duncan sees the girl standing in the aisle, small japanese girl about 7 years old.
Duncan stops Mid sentence and stares
Students turn no students see her and comment on Duncan’s reaction.
Duncan smalls
Dismisses class early, give some assigment
Students are almost completely gone, he is turned with his back to the class packing his bag and hears the gigle again
He turns quickly knocking a book off, the last student leaving pauses
Student
You ok?
Duncan smalls
Was that you?
Student
Was that what?
Awkward moment and the student leaves, then does Duncan.
INT.DUNCANS APT – EARLY EVENING
Duncan comes home waves to his girlfriend as he passes her and says nothing looking odd or in shock
Girlfiend
So much for being well rested blah blah
Duncan
Odd day, don’t want to talk
Girlfriend
You could ask about my day, talks about some strange cases she had
Notices him lost in his head, being odd and not listening
Girlfrined
She switches and starts talking nonsense about alice in wonder land to see if he notices, he doesn’t
Girlfriend
She presses until he snaps
Duncan
He tells her about the sitings of the little girl, he thinks she wouldn’t understand and there is relationship tension about the “not understanding comment”.
INT.DUNCAN’S APT – NIGHT
view gliding above water on the lake at night, then looking down to see the girl under the surface, maybe a body, could be unconscious.
His dream takes him under the water down to her
The water disappears and he is on dry land in daylight watching from inside the camp in the 1940’s by clothing of the guards.
He wakes in horror and blurry eyes thinks he see’s little wet foot prints
INT.COFFEE SHOP – MORNING
Duncan smalls
Feeling of relief, a bit of normalcy as Duncan and his GF walk into the coffee shop, sit at their regular table.
Girlfiend
Seems annoyed, still a little off but being civil
Waitress walks up already carrying two cups of coffee for the regulars.
Duncan smalls
He is more chatty with the waitress, trying to smooth over awkwardness with his girl
He is touching common items on the table, reassuring himself that this is real
Duncan smalls
Mentions its going to be a good day, he hopes she has a good day at the hospital and he will make lots of progress on his paper
Girlfriend
Quips that she wouldn’t understand
They finish eating in awkward silence and part
INT.TEACHERS LOUNGE – LATER
Duncan looking tired with a to go coffee in his hands says hello to other teachers and professors seeking connection after the cold breakfast
tries not to make eye contact with the professor winfield (the old sargent).
DUNCAN SMALLS
mentions his crazy nightmare about some camp full of asians in the lake. says isn’t that odd, trying to strike up conversation and maybe laugh it off
Professor Winfield looks to be listening from another table and disturbed.
PROFESSOR WINFIELD
suddenly and almost angrily that he should stop dreaming and get to work on this thesis, he is wasting a seat, storms out.
INT.CLASSROOM – MID MORNING
He teaches another day of classes
He sees a small silhouette run behind the chairs more than once, no one else reacts.
Duncan smalls
(under his breath) don’t react
This happens more than once and students overhear
Students
Are you talking to us or yourself
INT.CLASSROOM – LATER
He questions what is real, is his theme idea turned into a nightmare now causing halucinations?
Grading papers in the empty classroom he talks to himself more, asking if maybe the months of stress are finally breaking him down
What is the differnce between ideas, dreams, halucinations
INT.UNIVERSITY LIBRARY – DAY
Duncan amasses a large number of books and his laptop, searching to find evidence to support the dream. Hoping it is inspriation and not madness.
He continues to find nothing
Duncan
Questions staff members, annoyed asking for more resource material
Staff
This is all we can find, what you want doesn’t exist
Duncan
Pushes harder, searches more growing more frantic
and become irate with staff when he doesn’t find what he expects. His demeanor and reputation are slipping further.
INT.TEACHERS LOUNGE – DAY
Duncan smalls
Out of frustration Duncan begins asking about secret camps/
Thinking he must have read it and this is a fuzzy memory surfacing and not nightmares or ghosts!
Teacher
I have never heard of such
Duncan smalls
maybe some were off the books.
He is starting to think this might be possible, the alternative is that he is slipping into mental illness.
Unnoticed by Duncan behind him while he talks the Professor Winfield slips out of the room quietly, looking concerned.
Professor winfield
is in the hallway alone making a phone call while checking for anyone listening, looking upset.
INT.CLASSROOM/ HALLWAY /CHANCELLORS OFFICE – DAY
Duncan is in class and his cell rings, he ignores it and it rings again and again. Finally out of frustration he reaches in his pocket
DUNCAN SMALLS
(index finger in the air to the students)
Hold on .. Yes this is Duncan
CHANCELLOR’S ADMIN
Mr. Smalls, this is Felicia the Chancellor’s admin assistant, the chancellor would like to see you.
DUNCAN SMALLS
Me?..He wants to see m..
CHANCELLOR’S ADMIN
(interrupts)
Yes you and 2 pm is the only time that works for him, which is in 15 minutes.
DUNCAN SMALLS
Uhhh, Ok, I’ll be there
Hangs up
STUDENT 1
Did you say the Axis powers were well supplied or under supplied going into Russia?..I think I wrote it down wrong
DUNCAN SMALLS
Umm, under, over.. Yes undersupplied thus the push toward oil fields.
(under his breath to himself)
The chancellor wants to see me? I’ve never met the man
INT.UNIVERSITY HALL – 10 MINUTES LATER
Duncan is walking down the hall lost in his head as to why he is being summoned. He nears the Chancellors office and passes Professor Winfield (the old Sargent) headed the other way.
DUNCAN SMALLS
Hey Prof… (stops himself mid greeting as he notices the Professor refuses to make eye contact)
He nears the door as it is just now closing on its own. He walks into the outer office and looks toward Felica.
INT.CHANCELLORS OFFICE – MOMENTS LATER
DUNCAN SMALLS
Hi I’m Du
CHANCELLOR’S ADMIN
(interrupts pointing to the Chancellors door still open)
I know.. Go in, he’s waiting
He walks in, the Chancellor elbows on his chairs arms and hands clasped together in front of him. Duncan reaches to shake his hand and the chancellor doesn’t reach back.
CHANCELLOR
Just please have a seat, this should be short.
DUNCAN SMALLS
(mumbles in confusion) Ok, sir
CHANCELLOR
I understand that you are a paid teaching assistant and a phd candidate?
Chancellor motions for a response of acknowledgment to which Duncan nods.
CHANCELLOR
It has been brought to my attention that as of late you have been, lets say off of your game.
DUNCAN SMALLS
Sir I can ex..
CHANCELLOR
(interrupts with a hand motion)
Let me be brief and get to the point. I expect staff and potential staff to be on point, on time and to uphold the values of this institution.
I’m not a historian and do not know about any Secret Military institution’s.
( stops himself with a gesture and changes tracks)
Look, we all have our moments of stress where we run thin and fail to distinguish between working theories and facts.
Duncan is speechless with a stunned look, trying to process where this is headed.
CHANCELLOR
Slides a business card across the desk to Duncan
If this is all confusion about theory and facts, great. Declare your thesis and do your research!
His hand still on the business card and taps it with his index finger.
If its not, reach out to our staff therapist and she can help.
Leans back in his chair and clasps his hands again
I knew you would understand and do the right thing.
Motions him toward the door, turning back to his computer. Duncan walks out in a numb stupor. Stands outside in the hallway briefly.
DUNCAN SMALLS
(talking to himmself)
Soo..I either declare my nightmares as my thesis subject, or I openly admit I’m loosing it? There is really only one choice, to declare.
-
Don Thompson – Finished Act One
What I learned: I learned how to work quickly to get a draft done in order to stay on schedule. This can be very useful in certain contexts (i.e., writing assignments on a deadline).
FADE IN:
An image of the open sea. The camera SLOWY PANS UPWARD, and we see the HMS Indomitable, circa late 1790s.
PROLOGUE:
“In 1797, at the beginning of the Napoleonic conflict between Great Britain and France, tensions were high within the Royal Navy. Two mutinies on Naval frigates — one on the Nore and the other on the Spitfire — had occurred within the past year and this reality weighed heavily on the Naval Officers who needed to maintain order and discipline within the ranks of their sometimes unwilling and undisciplined crews. Moreover, the United States had just won the revolutionary war and a new constitution had just been signed. All of these events weighed heavily on the ruling elites of Great Britain.
The HMS Indomitable, under the leadership of Captain Edwin Vere, was thrust into an internal conflict that reflected the tension of the times and thoughts of freedom and the promise of human happiness that drifted through the minds of the people. Could the captain hold together a disgruntled crew and ensure unity with these social trends at play? Was force the only way to do so? Or could something else motivate people to unite other than fear and force?
Into this volatile mix enters William Budd, merchant seaman on the “Rights of Man’.
This is his story.”
FADE OUT:
FADE IN:
“This ’tis to have been from the first
In a domestic heaven nursed,
Under the discipline severe
Of Fairfax and the starry Vere.”
— FROM THE POEMS OF ANDREW MARVELL
FADE OUT:
FADE IN, TITLE:
BILLY BUDD
FADE OUT/IN:
EXT. ROYAL NAVY FRIGATE HMS INDOMITABLE, NORTHERN FRANCE, 1797 – DAY
CAPTAIN VERE (35) looks out through a telescope to the Merchant Ship ‘The Rights of Man’. Next to him stands his First Lieutenant Phillip Seymour (30), the Master of Arms Claggart (45), and Second Lieutenant Julian Radcliff (27).
VERE
(almost to himself)
‘The Rights of Man’.
SEYMOUR
Let’s hope she has some willing recruits.
VERE
I’ll take unwilling recruits at this point.
Beat.
VERE
(to Radcliff)
Steer leeward toward her. Make haste, lest she outruns us.
Radcliff turns toward the forward deck, looking down at the assorted crew, and shouts.
RADCLIFF
Leeward Ho – make haste! You know where we’re going! You can see her plain as day. She’s port, 15 degrees!
The men scramble to the sails and adjust accordingly.
CUT TO:
EXT. MAIN DECK – ‘THE RIGHTS OF MAN’ – SAME TIME
CAPTAIN JAMES SMITH (50) of the ‘Rights of Man’ – a merchant ship under the British Flag, stares through a telescope and speaks to his CHIEF MATE (30).
CAPTAIN
She’s British.
CHIEF MATE
Impressment.
CAPTAIN
No doubt.
CUT TO:
EXT. RIGHTS OF MAN – SAME TIME
A pinnance – or small boat – pulls up alongside of the ship, carrying Lieutenant Seymour and five crew members.
Seymour boards the ship and the Captain and his Lieutenants line up. Seymour salutes the Captain.
SEYMOUR
Lieutenant Seymour, HMS Indomitable.
CAPTAIN
I won’t tell you my name, sir. But I understand your intent.
SEYMOUR
You are the Captain?
CAPTAIN
As sure as day.
SEYMOUR
Line them up then.
The Captain leans in to his Chief Mate and speaks to him quietly:
CAPTAIN
Round them up. Everyone except Billy Budd.
The Chief Mate nods and SHOUTS to the men:
CHIEF MATE
Line up for the good lieutenant!
He walks aft and finds Billy Budd (19) tying a rope around some rigging. Billy is a striking young man – an almost perfect physical specimen, with a shock of blonde hair that is both unruly and glowing in the sun.
CHIEF MATE
(to Budd)
Billy – be a good lad and get me a swig of rum from the kitchen. Wait there for me. Don’t leave until I come for you.
BILLY BUDD
Don’t leave?
CHIEF MATE
Stay down below until they’re gone. Captain’s orders.
CUT TO:
EXT. MAIN DECK – RIGHTS OF MAN – DAY
Seymour observes the dozens of men, lined up in two rows, examining each. He prods them, asks them to open their mouths to examine their teeth. The Captain and Chief Mate follow close behind.
Lt. Seymour stops at one man, DANSKAR (30) an African American — and quite tall and muscular compared to the others.
SEYMOUR
And where are you from?
DANSKAR
Dutch West Indies.
He eyes him over.
SEYMOUR
Open your mouth.
Danskar opens his mouth and Seymour peers in.
CAPTAIN
You won’t like him. He’s disagreeable and tries to get everyone to pray to Jesus.
Beat.
SEYMOUR
I like Jesus. We’ll take him.
Beat.
DANSKAR
God has led me to you.
Seymour looks him over and nods.
SEYMOUR
Let’s hope so.
The Captain interjects.
CAPTAIN
They’re a sorry lot. I apologize I don’t have better for you.
SEYMOUR
What about below?
CAPTAIN
There’s no-one below.
Seymour eyes him distrustfully.
CUT TO:
INT. LOWER DECK – MOMENTS LATER
Seymour and his assistants climb down the steep stairs to the lower deck. Billy sits in a corner, sipping a glass of rum. He looks up at them and smiles. His teeth are perfectly shaped and his smile is winning to say the least. His complexion is unstained and his tan is golden.
BILLY BUDD
(flashing a smile)
Care for some rum? It’s the captain’s favorite!
Seymour looks at Billy astonished. It’s like seeing a purebred horse in the midst of a trash heap.
He turns to the Captain.
SEYMOUR
And where did you find him? In a basket on the Nile?
CAPTAIN
He’s a bastard child from Bristol, I think. That’s about all he remembers.
SEYMOUR
He looks like they dropped him from heaven.
CUT TO:
Billy flashes his bright smile.
Seymour walks over to Billy, and looks at him. He takes the cup from Billy’s hand and takes a swig. After his drink, he turns to the Captain.
SEYMOUR
Not bad.
CAPTAIN
Don’t take him. He’s my peacemaker.
SEYMOUR
Peacemaker?
CAPTAIN
He’s a cheery fellow. His attitude is infectious. It won’t be the same without him.
Seymour nods, then looks to Billy.
SEYMOUR
Do you have a good attitude, boy?
BILLY BUDD
As best can be expected. I wake up in the morning happy.
Seymour nods.
CUT TO:
EXT. PINNANCE (SMALL BOAT) ON SIDE OF THE ‘RIGHTS OF MAN’ – DAY
Billy, Danskar, Seymour and the others board the pinnance. The captain looks on, wiping tears from his eyes.
Seymour turns to Billy.
SEYMOUR
The Captain is shedding tears for you!
CUT TO:
ALL THE MEN LOOK OVER THE SIDE RAILING OF THE SHIP AS THE SMALL BOAT SLOWLY DRIFTS OFF.
CLOSE: Pinnance boat, moments later.
BILLY BUDD
(looks back at the ship)
And good-bye to you too, old Rights-of-Man
EXT. HMS INDOMITABLE – SOME MINUTES LATER – DAY
Billy stands in front of one of the seventy-four men who man the Indomitable. Most of them are present as the Master of Arms, Claggart (seen earlier), has him sign some papers. Billy signs with an ‘X’.
CLAGGART
You don’t read or write?
Billy shakes his head ‘no’.
CLAGGART
Your age?
BILLY BUDD
I’m not sure, eighteen I think.
The men LAUGH.
CLAGGART
You’re not sure? Where were you born?
BILLY BUDD
In the world somewhere.
The men LAUGH again.
CLAGGART
In England.
Billy nods.
BILLY BUDD
Bristol, probably.
CLAGGART
You don’t know. You’re a bastard, then?
Billy nods.
Claggart looks to Danskar and motions him forward. Danskar looks at the admission papers.
DANSKAR
What am I signing?
CLAGGART
Your oath of allegiance to the King for the duration of this War. Your consignment to this ship at the pleasure of the King.
Danskar looks down at the papers and signs: ‘Thomas Paine’
Claggart looks on.
CLAGGART
Thomas Paine? I thought you were Danskar?
DANSKAR
I sign the name of the man I most admire. I would sign Jesus Christ but that would be a little high minded.
The men LAUGH at his joke.
DANSKAR
And I can spell Thomas Paine. Danskar I’m not sure.
The men LAUGH again.
CLAGGART
Alright Thomas Paine. Have it your way.
He turns to his attendant, SQUEAK (25).
CLAGGART
Squeak, show them their hammocks.
SQUEAK nods.
INT. LOWER DECK – MOMENTS LATER
Squeak leads Danskar and Billy to their hammocks. Danskar’s hammock is in the rear, Billy’s near the middle.
Squeak taps on the hammock with a riding whip (both he and Claggard carry one) he carries with him for emphasis. He looks to Danskar.
SQUEAK
You’ll be here with the other two Black ones. But don’t worry, other than that and you’re treated the same at the others.
DANSKAR
Good.
Squeak looks down to Danskar’s belt, where there is a book tied there.
SQUEAK
What’s the book?
DANSKAR
The Bible.
Squeak nods.
SQUEAK
Do you believe in God?
DANSKAR
I do.
Squeak looks him over.
SQUEAK
Claggart will make sure to fix that.
CUT TO:
INT. LOWER DECK – ANOTHER HAMMOCK – DAY
Squeak’s stick TAPS on the other hammock. He turns to Billy.
SQUEAK
This is yours, Billy Budd. You’ll have watch duty, at Claggart’s discretion.
BILLY BUDD
Aye.
SQUEAK
Do whatever Claggart says. Keep you’re head low. Don’t make trouble. Avoid the lash.
BILLY BUDD
The lash?
SQUEAK
We all get it sooner or later.
Beat.
SQUEAK
Claggart killed a man on the mainland. Just to let you know.
Billy is silent.
CUT TO:
INT. CAPTAIN VERE’S QUARTERS – DAY
There is a KNOCK on his door.
CAPTAIN
Yes?
Claggart enters.
CLAGGART
We have the impressments on board, sir.
CAPTAIN
How do they look?
CLAGGART
Healthy. One Black Man of God and a young handsome one named Billy Budd.
CAPTAIN
Handsome? That’s an interesting observation.
CLAGGART
It seems to be his most redeeming quality. He’s a bastard child, that I also learned.
Vere looks up at him.
CAPTAIN
A bastard, and a handsome one. What about the ship’s report?
CLAGGART
In about an hour.
Vere nods and returns to his paperwork.
BACK TO MID-SHIP.
Billy is playing a Harmonica and all of the men listen. He sings them a song:
BILLY BUDD
(sings)
Sailor, Sailor will you marry me, with your rope and knife and jib? Oh how can I marry such a pretty girl when I have not hat to put on? And I’m only in port for a day? Off to the haberdasher she did go, as fast as she could run, but him a hat, the best she could find, and the sailor put it on, and wore it for the next pretty girl, the next port and bottle of rum.
CUT TO:
CLOSE, CLAGGART’S HORSE WHIP LANDS ON A TABLE.
CLAGGART
Enough of that! Up top with you, you sorry lot! This is a ship – a ship of war, you know, not a brothel!
The men all frown, GRUMBLE, and disperse. Claggart approaches Billy.
CLAGGART
Give me that harmonica.
Billy looks at him, and tries to stammer a response.
CLAGGART
Can’t speak?
Billy again tries to STAMMER a response. Claggart grabs the Harmonica.
CLAGGART
Five demerits on the ship’s report and it’s the lash. You can watch the next lashing tomorrow to get an idea about how we run things around here.
CLOSE: Billy looks intently at Claggart.
INT. LOWER DECK – COMMON AREA – NIGHT
The men are gathered around for their evening meal. Billy sits at a table with maintopmen JOHNSON (30), O’DANIEL (35), JONES (28), and TALBOT (30). Each of the men eat the ‘stew’ that has been prepared for them.
JOHNSON
So Budd, how does this stew compare to ‘The Rights of Man’.
Billy considers.
BILLY BUDD
It’s fillin’.
O’DANIEL
So you don’t care for the taste of it?
BILLY BUDD
It makes my stomach warm – that’s enough.
Beat.
BILLY BUDD
Where are we headed?
KINKAID
The coast of Spain. Reinforcements.
BILLY BUDD
Are we winnin’ the war?
JONES
They don’t tell us those things, Billy. It’s not our business. We just need to fight the battles so they can claim the glory.
JOHNSON
Are you up for it Billy? Winnin’ battles?
BILLY BUDD
I suppose so. As much as the next man.
JOHNSON
You aren’t going to run and hide then when the French send the first volley?
O’DANIEL
Leave him be, Johnson. Give him at least a day before breakin’ him in.
JOHNSON
Might as well be now. How strong are you, Billy? You look too damn pretty to be much of a fighter.
He turns to the others.
JOHNSON
I’m not sure why they chose such a pretty boy.
Billy looks him over.
BILLY BUDD
I can fight.
JOHNSON
I dare say you look like flower to me. You’ll wilt at the first sound of a cannon.
Billy raises his arm for an arm wrestle.
BILLY BUDD
Come on then, show your stuff!
Johnson slaps his arm away and stands.
JOHNSON
We wrestle or nothing!
The others clear the tables, allowing for an ad hoc wrestling arena.
JONES
Don’t fall for it Billy. Don’t make any trouble.
Billy stands and engages Johnson in a wrestling match.
At first, Johnson seems to have an advantage, but Billy is able to overcome him and throw him to the side. This just enrages Johnson more.
The sailors CHEER as the two men have at it.
JOHNSON
Beginner’s luck!
Johnson lunges at Billy, but Billy is able to move quickly and deftly and get Johnson in an arm lock. He throws him again to the side. This time, Johnson is defeated, and holds his side in pain.
CUT TO:
INT. TABLE TOP – SAME TIME
Claggart’s horse whip HITS the table.
CLAGGART
All right. What’s the trouble?
All the men fall silent and look at Claggart. Claggart eyes them over.
CLAGGART
Who started it?
All the men look furtively at each other. Claggart looks at Billy Budd.
CLAGGART
Budd?
Billy says nothing. He opens his mouth, but no words come out.
CLAGGART
Mr. Seymour said they called you the ‘Peacemaker’ on the ‘Rights of Man’. So much for that distinction!
Claggart looks all of them over angrily.
CLAGGART
I expect all of you on deck at sunrise for McDaniel’s flogging. We need discipline on this ship, not fighting.
Claggart leaves.
KINKAID
Bugger him.
The men LAUGH.
Danskar helps Billy up and looks at him. All of the other men look at Danskar. He is an imposing presence — they intuitively fear him.
DANSKAR
I’m gonna protect him from now on. Anyone that goes after Billy will have to deal with me.
KINKAID
Sure, tell that to Claggart my Black Beauty.
Danskar pulls Billy to the side.
DANSKAR
It’s a different world here, Billy. Not like the ‘Rights of Man’.
BILLY BUDD
You don’t need to watch after me, Danskar. I can do well on my own.
Danskar eyes him over, and hands him something.
Billy looks at it. It is a cross.
DANSKAR
Wear it for protection, if you’d like.
Billy nods.
CLOSE: The cross in his hand as Billy looks at it.
FADE OUT/IN.
EXT. MAIN DECK – SUNRISE – NEXT DAY
As the men and Captain Vere and staff look on, Maintopman TAYLOR (30) receives a hundred lashes and is bloodied and unconscious afterwards.
The process is long and painful. The men wince with each lash. Claggart looks on unemotionally, counting each lash.
CLAGGART
One… Two… Three…
Billy stares intently at Claggart, who appears to smile at Billy as he orders the lashes.
DISSOLVE TO:
CLAGGART, MINUTES LATER.
CLAGGART
Ninety eight… ninety nine… one hundred.
The sailor handling the whip unties Taylor, who falls limp and unconscious to the deck.
CLAGGART
(to the sailer with the whip)
Take him below to the sick berth.
The men watch as Taylor is carried below.
Captain Vere observes. Flanked by Radcliff and Seymour, he gives a speech.
CAPTAIN VERE
You may all believe that I somehow take pleasure in a man’s flogging.
Nothing could be further from the truth. But this is a time of war, and war requires absolute discipline. There is no — I repeat no — mercy within me for any of you taking any liberties with any rules of this ship. Hopefully, you’ve learned this much from me. Also, learn this. Life is about choice. In fact, choices define you as a man. Every choice matters, particularly in war. Your choices can become clear as long as your motivation is clear. One motivation is fear of the whip. That we have on display today. But I offer you another possible motivation. A positive one, if you will. I offer you to act in a disciplined way for your fellow mates that whey do not have to endure another flogging such as we’ve seen here. I could even offer a loftier motivation, but I somehow doubt any of you have it in you. Nonetheless, that loftier goal is love of King and Country. Believe it or not, such love exists among certain men. A love for something greater than one’s self. I count myself as a man who possesses such feelings.
Beat. Captain Vere surveys the men.
CLOSE: The men react in silence to the speech.
SEYMOOUR
(pause) Ship’s company dismissed.
The men filter toward their stations, or the lower deck.
INT. BELOW DECK – SAME TIME
Some of the men filter into the lower deck. Billy turns to O’Daniel.
BILLY
Why did they flog him?
O’DANIEL
One of a million reasons. Maybe he looked at Claggart the wrong way. Who knows.
INT. LOWER DECK – MESS TABLES – SAME TIME
Billy, O’Daniel, Johnson, Taylor, and the other maintopmen sit at the mess table. Taylor looks to Billy.
TAYLOR
Did they do any flogging’s on ‘The Rights of Man’.
BILLY BUDD
They didn’t.
O’DANIEL
The world is changing, I tell you. All this talk of freedom.
BILLY BUDD
Is there something wrong with it?
TAYLOR
The King doesn’t like it, that’s for sure. The Americans and their high-minded talk of liberty don’t sit well with the landed folks, like the King – or the Captain.
BILLY BUDD
I like the Captain.
TAYLOR
Billy – the Captain has one thought on his mind: duty and a pension. Eventually, he’ll be sittin’ pretty back on the estate while folks like us line up in the bread line or worse. They don’t give a rat’s arse about us – never will.
O’DANIEL
One can only hope the King will get wise sooner than later. If not, he’ll end up like Louis in France. (he makes a gesture across his neck indicating the guillotine)
Johnson, who has been silent, winces in pain. Taylor turns to him.
TAYLOR
You should see the ship’s doctor mate.
JOHNSON
It was Budd that did me in. Held me too tight in the match.
BILLY BUDD
I was just defending meself.
JOHNSON
I’ll be fine.
Claggart enters. All of the men stiffen up.
CLAGGART
Line up.
The men line up for Claggart. He walks up and down the line, examining then. He stops in front of Johnson and looks him over closely, noticing he is holding his side. Claggart walks on, glances at the floor, then looks up at them intently.
CLAGGART
Did you like the Captain’s speech?
All are silent.
CLAGGART
Budd? Did you like it?
BILLY BUDD
It was a fine speech. I liked it.
CLAGGART
You are an agreeable fellow, Budd. Too agreeable for my taste.
Claggart then turns to leave. Billy reaches out to touch him to ask him a question. Claggart turns around angrily.
CLAGGART
(glares at Billy)
Don’t touch me!
Billy backs off. Claggart glares at all the men.
CLAGGART
Don’t any of you ever touch me!
Claggart leaves.
Danskar approaches Billy.
DANSKAR
Are you wearin’ your cross?
BILLY BUDD
I suppose I should.
DANSKAR
Be careful of him, Billy. He’s the devil himself. He’s down on you, as sure as the sun sets.
Billy nods.
EXT. MID-SHIP – TOP MAST – DAY
Billy and Johnson work the top mast. Johnson is having trouble with his work, as he continues to hold his side in pain.
Billy tries to help Johnson, but he will have nothing of it and waves him away.
Claggart, below, looks up to them and notices the interaction, and that Johnson is in pain.
INT. LOWER DECK – BILLY’S HAMMOCK – NIGHT
Billy checks his hammock it is undone and not properly set. Danskar walks by, and he tells him.
BILLY
(to Danskar)
Someone’s messing with my Hammock. It’ll get me on the report, for sure.
Danskar eyes him over.
DANSKAR
Claggart has it in for you.
BILLY
What did I do to him?
DANSKAR
You remind him of something, Billy. Something he doesn’t like.
Billy fixes his hammock.
Squeak approaches Billy.
SQUEAK
Your hammock wasn’t tied right, Budd. I had to put you on the ship’s report.
Squeak turns to Danskar.
SQUEAK
You better pray for him, Danskar.
DANSKAR
I will.
Beat.
DANSKAR
God will decide Billy’s fate, not you or the Captain.
Squeak shakes his head at what he hears.
SQUEAK
(to Danskar)
I’d be careful with all your Godliness. Rubs men the wrong way.
Squeak leaves.
Billy ties his hammock.
BILLY BUDD
You might keep your preaching to yourself, Danskar.
Beat. He turns to Billy.
BILLY BUDD
Except for me. You can say what you want to me.
DANSKAR
You’re kind, Billy Budd.
Billy smiles.
FADE OUT:
FADE IN:
INT. LOWER DECK – TABLE – NIGHT
Claggart’s whip HITS a tabletop.
CUT TO:
CLOSE, TABLE: SAME TIME
The men all looks to Claggart as they eat their soup.
CLAGGART
Line up. Keep your bowls with you.
The men move from the table and line up.
Claggart walks the line of men. He stops in front of O’Daniel and takes his bowl and sips the soup. Then he surveys the group.
CLAGGART
Do you like the stew?
The men are silent.
CLAGGART
The Captain gets better stew, I’m sure you all know that.
The men look on.
CLAGGART
The Captain gets better stew because he’s a better man. For one, he can read. He brings books with him – books on this very ship about subjects you cannot even fathom!
As Claggart walks by he bumps into Billy Budd and Billy’s soup spills on the ground. Claggart then hits the bowl with his whip and it falls on the ground.
Claggart looks at the bowl.
CLAGGART
Budd – you’ve dropped your soup!
Billy observes.
BUDD
You hit me, sir.
Claggart glares at him.
CLAGGART
I hit you?
He looks to the other men.
CLAGGART
Did any of you see me hit Budd?
The men remain silent.
CLAGGART
Johnson – did you see me hit Budd?
Johnson is silent. Johnson holds his side.
CLAGGART
Johnson – pick it up!
Johnson doesn’t move at first. Claggart walks to him and prods him with his whip.
CLAGGART
Are you hard of hearing? Pick up the bowl!
Johnson leans down to pick up the bowl, WINCING in pain. He is overcome, and cannot lift the bowl – in fact, he is unable to get up.
CLAGGART
Johnson – you don’t look fit.
JOHNSON
I’m fine.
Claggart looks at the others, and turns away. As his back is turned to them, he chides them.
CLAGGART
I want you all to hate me. I want you to hate me and have your hatred be your motivation for everything you do.
He turns around.
CLAGGART
The Captain missed that point in his speech. Hatred can motivate a man. It can motivate him to do quite profoundly unthinkable acts. Do you all agree?
The men are silent.
CLAGGART
Hate me. Hate me and you will do well.
Claggart turns and leaves. Once he is gone, the men relax and filter back to the tables.
KINKAID
He’s gonna get himself killed by one of us. I just wonder who.
O’DANIEL
Maybe you.
KINKAID
I certainly hate the bastard. He is certainly the sourest thing that ever landed on this good earth from Heaven or Hell.
Kinkaid turns to Billy.
KINKAID
Do you hate him, Budd?
Billy ponders.
BILLY BUDD
I don’t hate any man. It’s a fault, I suppose.
Beat.
BILLY BUDD
Is it true Claggart killed a man on the mainland?
O’DANIEL
Aye, I heard as much. It’s like that with some of these seamen. Either the Navy or prison. For me, it would have been Debtor’s prison. 10 pounds I owed.
INT. CAPTAIN VERE’S QUARTERS – NIGHT
The Captain sits at his desk. Claggart enters.
CLAGGART
Did you call for me sir?
The Captain motions for him to sit. He looks at him warily.
CAPTAIN
I’m thinking of giving Budd a promotion. Captain of the foretop. To replace Johnson.
CLAGGART
Johnson isn’t well.
CAPTAIN
I know. It’s obvious. We have to replace him. Budd is my choice. What’s your opinion?
CLAGGART
I would go with O’Daniel. Budd is too new. And he’s already on the ship’s report.
Beat.
CAPTAIN
Yes. The ship’s report. The epitome of accuracy.
Claggart is silent.
CAPTAIN
You’re dismissed, Mr. Claggart.
Claggart leaves. Radcliff enters.
RADCLIFF
You called for me sir?
He nods for Radcliff to sit.
CAPTAIN
I thinking of promoting Budd to Captain of the Foretop. To replace Johnson. Do you have an opinion on that?
RADCLIFF
Did you ask Lt. Seymour?
CAPTAIN
I did. He agrees with the decision. But I wanted to also check with you and Claggart.
RADCLIFF
And what of Claggart?
CAPTAIN
He wants to go with O’Daniel.
RADCLIFF
I would go with Budd.
Beat.
CAPTAIN
What do you think of Claggart?
RADCLIFF
He’s effective. Perhaps a little too effective.
CAPTAIN
Yes. I agree. Do you know he killed a man on the mainland?
RADCLIFF
I heard as much.
CAPTAIN
Do you know any of the details?
RADCLIFF
Not really. You might ask Mr. Seymour. He reviews the onboarding paperwork quite thoroughly.
EXT. MIDSHIP – MAINTOP – DAY
Johnson is on the maintop with Billy. He can barely make it up to the sails.
SAILOR
For God Sake’s man – you should get yourself below!
JOHNSON
I’m fine! Leave me be!
Johnson clearly cannot unfurl the sail he is responsible for. Billy notices this and moves from his position to help Johnson.
JOHNSON
Leave me be! I’ll get it!
Billy still helps him.
BILLY BUDD
I’ll just help you a bit!
One of the AFRICAN AMERICAN SAILORS shouts down to Claggart.
SAILOR
Mr. Claggart – we have an ill man!
CLAGGART
Who?
SAILOR
Johnson!
Claggart looks up at the sailor, pondering.
CLAGGART
Leave him! He stays aloft!
BACK TO BILLY AND JOHNSON.
Billy continues to help Johnson unfurl his sail.
CUT TO:
EXT. BOW – SAME TIME
A WATCHMAN on the Bow spots a French ship and SHOUTS to Claggart.
WATCHMAN
Enemy vessel, port side, 20 degrees!
Claggart moves to the bow and looks out with his scope.
He SHOUTS to the Stern side, Quarter Deck.
CLAGGART
Enemy ship, port side, 20 degrees. Clear for Action!
A sailor on the stern, quarter deck, shouts down toward the Captain’s Quarters.
SAILOR
Clear for Action! Enemy vessel port side!
EXT. QUARTER DECK – SAME TIME
Captain Vere, along with Lieutenants Radcliff and Seymour all rush from their quarters and stand on the Quarter Deck. The Captain looks through his telescope.
VERE
She’s French alright.
He turns to Radcliff.
CUT TO:
EXT. MAIN TOP – SAME TIME
As Billy is assisting Johnson, Johnson stumbles and falls a good sixty feet to the lower deck, killing him instantly. All work stops on unfurling and positioning the sails.
BACK TO THE CAPTAIN
CAPTAIN
What’s this?
RADCLIFF
I think we’ve got a maintopman fallen to the deck.
CAPTAIN
Just my luck.
EXT. DECK, WHERE JOHNSON HAS FALLEN – SAME TIME
Several of the men gather around Johnson. Claggart looms over him.
CLAGGART
Get back!
Claggart reaches down to Johnson, checks his pulse.
CLAGGART
What you all looking at! Haven’t you seen a dead man before!
The men all stare at him.
CLAGGART
We’ll tend to him later.
He rises and walks a few paces toward the stern. Then he turns back toward the men.
CLAGGART
Make haste – I’ll hand out the rifles. Ready the cannons.
The men continue to stare at him, without moving. The captain, noticing, hurries to the main deck and rushes toward Claggart.
The Captain stares at the men.
Kinkaid speaks up.
KINKAID
She’s already gone, captain. The sails aren’t ready because of Johnson. We’ll never catch her.
The Captain is incensed.
CAPTAIN
(to Kinkaid)
Did Mr. Claggart not give you orders to clear for action?
The men stare at the Captain.
CAPTAIN
Who the hell is commanding this ship!?
CUT TO:
EXT. MAIN DECK – SAME TIME
Radcliff observes the French ship through his telescope. He returns to the Captain.
RADCLIFF
Kinkaid is right, sir. We’ve lost her.
The captain stares the men down and angrily barks orders to Claggart.
CAPTIN
Mr. Claggart, take Mr. Kinkaid into custody for insubordination.
KINKAID
I was just tellin’ you the truth, sir!
CAPTAIN
The truth! There is only one truth here! You were given orders and you did not obey!
The Captain continues to stare down the men.
CAPTAIN
Dismissed. Back to your stations. Keep in mind that if we have more of this and we’ll certainly all end up dead on the bottom of the Atlantic in no time, of that you can all be sure!
Claggart looks on, and nods to Squeak to take Kinkaid below.
Radcliff approaches the Captain.
RADCLIFF
Sir, as Captain of the Foretop, we’ll need to bury Johnson properly.
The Captain glares at him.
CAPTAIN
Do as you must.
-
What I learned: This is hands down the fastest I’ve written an Act one. It’s not perfect, but there is something here, and I’m pleased. Yesterday I was a bit overwhelmed, but that has passed. Also… my first act hasn’t focused on my Protagonist as much, and it’s making me rethink the story a bit.
FADE IN:
I/E. CARLY’S CAR – DAY
CARLY SIMMONS (17), the high school dream girl, preps her hair to photo-ready perfection. She pouts her mouth slightly. Lips open — not too much. Her phone focuses. She squints and…
CLICK.
BRRRING! The scream of the school bell overtakes the parking lot.
TAP TAP. HANNAH (17), Carly’s sidekick in the ‘popular mean girls club,’ beckons outside her car.
HANNAH
Come on!
CARLY
Just a minute!
Carly gives her phone a few swipes, grabs her backpack and rushes after Hannah.
INT. CLASSROOM – DAY
A TEACHER instructs the class at the front. Carly sneaks a peek at her phone.
TEACHER
Carly.
Carly quickly puts the phone away.
TEACHER
Both your followers won’t miss you for one period.
The students laugh. Carly rolls her eyes.
INT. CORPORATE BOARDROOM – DAY
A long conferences table lined by SUITS of various type stretches out before LAUREL SIMMONS, 49, power business suit and a chiseled corporate grit. Million-dollar deals over brunch are therapeutic to her.
LAUREL
Knox International means a larger market impact for our eastern clients. We estimate a six percent jump in stock prices over the next quarter on top of our quarterly average of 3.5 percent that we’ve maintained since I came onboard.
There’s a round of applause from the room. In front of her, her phone vibrates. She cancels the call.
LAUREL
Questions?
BOARD MEMBER
Quite the presentation, Laurel. I think I speak for all of us on how impressed we are with your work on this deal. Has the board at Knox expressed any concern with the recent news?
LAUREL
I believe I’ve successfully assured them that Mr. Dallents’ retirement will have no affect on current operations, and that the next CEO, whoever he or she may be, will be carefully selected by this board to take us and Knox even further.
MR. DALLENTS (70s) stands at the ends of the table. He’s old, but very capable and alert. Not frail. He nods his approval.
MR. DALLENTS
My seat’s still warm, but it seems Mrs Simmons has someone in mind already.
A single CHUCKLE from one board member. Dallents holds his hand up.
MR. DALLENTS
I won’t have a vote on the matter. But if I did, she’d have mine.
He gives her the subtlest of nods.
LAUREL
Thank you, sir. Any other questions?
The doors open and an OFFICE ASSISTANT makes eye contact with Laurel. Laurel tries to ignore her as another board member begins talking.
The assistant walks in and right up to Laurel. She whispers in her ear. Laurel’s stone confidence begins to chip away in the confusion.
INT. HIGH SCHOOL – DAY
Lockers doors SLAM. Sneakers SCREECH the floors. Gossip fueled GIGGLES echoes down the corridor.
Carly approaches her classroom. Curiously standing outside the door, that bitch MRS. WHITAKER (40s) along with her PRINCIPAL (50s). The look on their faces… It’s dread. Carly pauses.
PRINCIPAL
Carly?
CARLY
What?
INT. LIVING ROOM – NIGHT
LAUREL SIMMONS (50) would normally never be seen outside of professional power business suit. But, right now her eyes are bloodshot with fatigue. Her makeup is twelve hours old and hair has taken a form of it’s own.
An OFFICE ASSISTANT nearby stares at her waiting.
LAUREL
(on phone)
No. I’m fine. No.
Laurel points to a drawer and the assistant moves. She opens it and pulls everything out sorting as she goes.
LAUREL
(on phone)
The deal stays. Draw it up. Have it in my inbox by morning.
(beat)
I can. Don’t tell me can’t, Frank.
She hangs up the phone, and get’s lost for a moment staring nowhere in particular.
ASSISTANT
Ma’am?
LAUREL
Yes. Sorry.
ASSISTANT
I’ve sorted out as much as we have found. Bank records there. His personal ID and passports–
LAUREL
No one tells you how difficult it is to take care of someone after they die.
She sips from a wine glass nearby. A tear forms. Embarrassed, she quickly wipes it away.
The young assistant watches her helplessly.
LAUREL
Go home. It’s okay. Go on.
ASSISTANT
Is there… can I do–
LAUREL
No. Really.
BUZZZZ. They look at the desk.
LAUREL
That’s Philip’s phone.
Laurel takes the phone from the desk and swipes to answer.
LAUREL
Yes?
(beat)
This is his wife.
(beat)
I’m uh… Who?
(beat)
He’s… not–
(beat)
What? That’s… what??
INT. CARLY’S BEDROOM – NIGHT
Music pounds her head from the headphones. Her eyes are red. Laurel appears in her doorway speaking almost imperceptibly. Carly pulls off the headphones, and looks at her as if to say impatiently, “what?”
LAUREL
Dinner.
CARLY
Does your office slave cook too?
LAUREL
Come downstairs.
CARLY
I said no thanks.
Her headphones go back on. Laurel speaks again. Yelling, it almost comes through. Headphones back off.
CARLY
Jesus, what!
LAUREL
We’re going to France.
CARLY
The fu–France? I’m not going to France! I have finals.
LAUREL
We have to.
CARLY
I’m 18! I can make my own mind!
LAUREL
You’re 17.
CARLY
For six more weeks. Practically there already. What corporate bullshit is telling you to drag me to France?
LAUREL
Your father.
INT. PLANE – NIGHT
Laurel taps at keys on her laptop resting on her first-class tray table.
LAUREL
This is a 100 million dollar deal I’m now negotiating remotely.
CARLY
What’s your point?
LAUREL
This isn’t convenient for anyone.
CARLY
I’m being forced. This should be kidnapping.
LAUREL
You’re being dramatic.
CARLY
Why did he buy a boat?
Laurel pauses from her typing. Considering.
LAUREL
He always dreamed of sailing. Ever since… We went sailing. On our honeymoon.
Carly seems thoughtful.
CARLY
Well, I don’t get it. I hate the beach.
Carly puts her earbuds in.
EXT. SHIPYARD – DAY
The sun shines bright on a bustling French, shipyard. A forest of tall mast can be spied in the distance.
YACHT REP
She’s been in the water for about two weeks. Just this way.
Carly follows behind at a distance. Eyes on her phone, but occasionally glancing up to find her bearings.
EXT. MARINA – DAY
Boats line the walkway on either side of all sizes. Many look very new or well cared for.
Carly pauses for a well composed selfie.
YACHT REP
Here.
Laurel looks where the rep is gesturing. Gently rocking in the water sits a beautiful, white CATAMARAN. Carly admires the boat for a moment.
YACHT REP
Please. This way.
I/E. YACHT – DAY
Laurel steps onto the deck gently. Takes it in, slowly. Studying the shape. It’s contours. Feeling it.
YACHT REP
45 feet long. Three cabins — the owner’s cabin is port, plus two smaller in the starboard hull. Solar. Water-maker. Auto-pilot.
INT. YACHT/SALON – DAY
Laurel slides the door open. The room is spacious and open. It’s a combined galley and living area.
LAUREL
My first apartment wasn’t near this nice.
YACHT REP
He wanted you to feel comfortable. He said this.
This visibly affects her. She spies a photo mounted on the wall. A family photo… Carly was much younger. Looking behind her she spots Carly -still on the dock, hands in pockets.
YACHT REP
Would you like to take her out?
(off her look)
It’s your vessel.
I/E. YACHT – DAY
The sails, full of wind, pull them gently over the lapping waves of the Mediterranean. Laurel breaths in the air while the REP expertly helms the boat.
INT. HOTEL – NIGHT
Laurel sits at a small desk. Phone to her ear.
LAUREL
Christ, I barely know anything. I’m emailing you the documentation right now.
GRANT (V.O.)
Just a minute.
(beat)
The board’s been asking about the Knox Deal. With you being out of town…
LAUREL
It’s done. Closed on it this morning.
GRANT (V.O.)
Damn. Good work.
(beat)
Got it. A forty-five?
LAUREL
I-I think so.
GRANT (V.O.)
That’s a good size.
LAUREL
So, an upgrade for you?
GRANT (V.O.)
A small one.
Laurel waits.
GRANT (V.O.)
I’m interested. But I need to see it.
LAUREL
Okay.
GRANT (V.O.)
Here. Talk to the builder. They should be able to deliver it.
(Beat)
But… are you sure?
LAUREL
Yes.
(beat)
You could speak to a board member.
KNOCK KNOCK.
BELL HOP (V.O.)
Room service.
Laurel shoots Carly a look. Carly smiles satisfyingly to her as she heads to the door.
GRANT (V.O.)
Laurel?
LAUREL
Yes. Sorry, Grant.
LAUREL
The vote. Talk to Donaldson.
GRANT (V.O.)
You already have a lot of support.
LAUREL
I want to be sure.
GRANT (V.O.)
I’ll talk to him.
LAUREL
Boat’s on the way.
She hangs up the phone and closes her laptop. The bell hop has wheeled in quite the spread of appetizers. Laurel looks it over deciding.
CARLY
Did you sell it?
LAUREL
Honestly, what am I going to do with a forty-five foot sailboat?
CARLY
I don’t know.
EXT. SHIPYARD – DAY
LAUREL
Six months?
YACHT REP
Yes. Is this a problem?
LAUREL
I’m trying to close a life changing deal here.
YACHT REP
Yes ma’am. But it’s a month of sailing just to get it there. And the crew.
LAUREL
Crew?
YACHT REP
It won’t sail itself.
Laurel looks out at the boats in the water. Thinking.
LAUREL
What if I take it?
YACHT REP
Excuse me?
LAUREL
It’s my vessel, right?
YACHT REP
Yes, but I–you can’t just sail across the Atlantic.
LAUREL
Don’t tell me can’t.
YACHT REP
Have you… Pardon, but have you ever sailed?
LAUREL
Once.
YACHT REP
Once.
LAUREL
I’m sure you have some instructors here. I’ll give you ten thousand dollars to get my daughter and I the basics before the week is done.
YACHT REP
Four days?
LAUREL
Four days.
YACHT REP
10 thousand U.S. Dollars?
LAUREL
Still think I can’t?
INT. RENTAL CAR – DAY
The car door shuts. Carly looks at her mother who seems as though she’s about to jump out of an airplane. Carly pulls out a single earbud.
CARLY
What?
(beat)
Hello? What?
LAUREL
We’re going sailing.
EXT. SHIPYARD – MOMENTS LATER
Carly SLAMS the door shut!
CARLY
Are you out of your mind!? You are out of your mind!
LAUREL
I think we can do it. But I need your help.
CARLY
No. NO! Put me on a plane!
LAUREL
Be reasonable.
CARLY
You put me on a goddamn plane right now!
Laurel focuses on her daughter.
LAUREL
No.
INT. GROCERY STORE – DAY
Laurel moves through the isles, one after the other, piling her cart with an insane amount of food. Heading down the canned isle, she piles in cans by the arm-full.
Carly follows behind her watching like watching a shipwreck. Laurel studies her overflowing cart.
LAUREL
We need another cart.
She snaps a look at Carly.
LAUREL
Carly! Cart.
Carly rolls her eyes and heads to the front of the store.
I/E. RENTAL CAR – DAY
Groceries fill the back seat obstructing the rearview mirror. Carly has her phone again. Texting.
CARLY TEXT: She’s gone absolutely mental.
HANNAH TEXT: Jesus, girl!
CARLY TEXT: Why am I being kidnapped to take part in her midlife crisis!
HANNAH TEXT: Ditching this place for Cali is sounding better all the time.
LAUREL
Who are you talking to?
Carly closes her phone. She looks out the window studying the French town’s shoreline. Masts everywhere.
EXT. MARINA – DAY
Laurel and Carly, assisted by two DOCK HANDS, push carts of groceries over the dock heading straight for their catamaran.
I/E. YACHT – DAY
The sales rep watches from the pilot station as the groceries roll up.
YACHT REP
My God. This woman.
He steps to the rear of the boat to great them.
YACHT REP
You know weight matters, right.
LAUREL
(uncertain)
Yeah.
YACHT REP
Okay. What’s that cart.
Laurel looks over.
LAUREL
Decor.
YACHT REP
Decor.
LAUREL
If i’m going to make this place home for the next few weeks, it will be my home.
YACHT REP
Yes by you can’t–
LAUREL
Please. Don’t say I can’t.
The Yacht Rep considers for a moment, then he shrugs.
YACHT REP
Your vessel.
LAUREL
(to herself)
Damn right.
She hands the rep the first of many boxes.
I/E. YACHT – MOMENTS LATER
Carly steps onboard carrying her bag. The rep grabs her head to help her.
CARLY
She’s insane.
YACHT REP
There’s a time I would have given anything to be you right now.
CARLY
Then you’re insane.
Carly pushes past him and into the boat.
YACHT REP
(to Laurel)
Ready?
LAUREL
Yes.
YACHT REP
Can you stow lines?
LAUREL
I can.
Laurel kicks off her high heels and steps barefoot onto the deck. Her toes caress the surface for a moment. She heads to the first cleat and begins to undo the line.
The rep watches her with a hint of lust, but it is quickly checked with respect as he see her work.
INT. YACHT/CARLY’S CABIN – DAY
Carly tosses her bag onto the bed. Her face is stone. She SCREAMS and kicks a panel.
She pulls her phone out. Drops onto the bed and stares at the ceiling. Opens the camera app. Tightening her brows she composes the angriest selfie of her online career.
CLICK. Typing…
CARLY
Hashtag: this… is… bullshit.
I/E. YACHT – MOMENTS LATER
The yacht rocks over the sea. Laurel follows the rep over every inch of the helm station getting to know as much as she can.
INT. CARLY’S CABIN – DAY
The boat rocks sideways and Carly slams against the side. She looks at the wall angrily. The boat keels a different way and Carly shuffle’s against it trying to keep her footing.
The boat tilts and Carly reels forward, arms flailing.
CARLY
STOP!
She grabs whatever she can and fighting every direction the boat kicks, she makes her way to a bathroom. Looking in she sees how small it is. The shower. The head. And a flush knob of a type she has never seen before.
CARLY
YOU CAN’T BE SERIOUS!
The boat kicks and Carly gets dumped backwards onto the floor.
EXT. MARINA – NIGHT
The catamaran gently bobs in it’s slip under a starry night.
INT. LAUREL’S CABIN – NIGHT
Laurel, reading glasses on, types at her computer. She tapes the trackpad and the familiar sound of an email sent SWOOSHES.
She breathes out the long day. Behind her, sits an empty bed. Made perfectly. She moves to the bed and lays down on the right side, leaving room for… him. She slides her hand over the empty place. Touches the unused pillow.
LAUREL
I’m sorry.
INT. EMERGENCY ROOM – DAY
DOCTOR
Ma’am?
Laurel has her phone.
LAUREL
I have to go. Get the documents finished up.
(hangs up)
Yes. Sorry… big day at work.
DOCTOR
Ma’am. Your husbands car…
LAUREL
How is he? Can I talk to him yet?
DOCTOR
Take a seat.
LAUREL
I’m fine, Doctor. It’s okay. Just take me back there.
DOCTOR
Ma’am.
The ER begins to slow down. The noise fades off as the doctors voices turns into a drone.
Laurel steps back resisting the news he’s sharing.
I/E. YACHT – MORNING
Laurel pulls on a line hand-over-hand. A giant purple sail billows up along the front of the boat. It catches wind and the boat leans into it ever so slightly.
YACHT REP
We’re going to trim the main back. We don’t want to stress it out to much.
LAUREL
Got it!
Laurel moves along the boat grabbing whatever she can to keep from falling.
INT. SALON – DAY
Carly watches through the windows as her mother moves around the deck.
She carefully moves to the seating area and opens her phone. Camera app opens and she composes another selfie. Switching apps she waits…. And waits. She looks closer. No bars!
She holds her phone in the air trying to find a signal. Nothing!
CARLY
Dammit! It’s a prison. She literally has me in a prison.
INT. CARLY’S HEAD – DAY
Carly preps her makeup. The bathroom slowly seesaws under her. She sways and grabs the wall.
The room rocks again and her makeup bag spills out it’s contents into the shower.
INT. SALON – DAY
Laurel positions a PLANT on the table. She holds it firm, then, slowly releases it and steps back. The boat tilts slightly and the plants slides a little. She jumps after it saving it from a fall.
She unravels a strip of tape, loops it over, and sticks it to the underside of the plant. She presses it firm on the table.
She steps back again, grabbing something nearby to hold herself steady. She watches the plant and nods approval.
I/E. YACHT – DAY
The REP stands on the bow, pulling lines all around the boat. He gives Laurel a thumbs up.
Laurel, at the helm, pushes the twin throttles forward just a bit and the engines hum. The catamaran slips forward from it’s dock.
The Rep watches closely as the boat maneuvers thought the marina. As he does, he moves back to the helm station.
YACHT REP
You’re a quick study.
(beat)
Out there–it will take both of you.
INT. SALON – NIGHT
Laurel clicks through maps of the Mediterranean on her laptop–zooming in, and out again on various coastal towns.
She hears Carly climbing the steps from her side of the boat. Laurel looks over at her, but Carly ignores her, heading to a kitchen cabinet.
Carly searches the door for a handle or some way to open it.
LAUREL
The button.
CARLY
What?
LAUREL
You have to press that part. You got it.
The door swings open. Plates. She CLICKS the door shut and moves to the next one. Pots.
LAUREL
Looking for something?
CARLY
(sarcastically)
Liquor.
LAUREL
(points)
Over there.
Carly follows her point, then looks at her suspiciously. Laurel turns back to her laptop.
Carly finds a single bottle of gin. Pulling a plastic cup, she pours. It’s a bit too much.
LAUREL
If you’re wanting to be hungover on the open water tomorrow, I suppose that’s your business.
CARLY
I suppose it is.
Carly considers. She looks at the bottle and her cup. She quietly mouths a curse to herself, and walks over to the sink. She sets the bottle in the sink and tries terribly to pour some of the gin back into the bottle.
Carly corks and stows the bottle, then heads down the stairs.
LAUREL
Goodnight.
INT. CARLY’S CABIN
Carly shut’s the door without answering her mother. Her cabin is small. She stands in just about the only standing room space at the foot of her bed.
She raises her cup.
CARLY
Here’s to roughing it.
She drinks. She drinks all of it.
INT. CARLY’S CABIN – MORNING
The port engine RUMBLES to life. Carly’s eyes blink open and squint at the daylight pouring into her cabin. Yesterday’s makeup still caked on her face.
She sits up and watches through the window. She can hear voices. Movement above. Foot falls on the deck.
Carly scrambles for her phone, and starts typing.
CARLY TEXT: I think we’re leaving.
Carly waits, but no response comes.
CARLY TEXT: Hello!? I won’t be able to talk for weeks!
Carly tucks her knees against her chest and composes another selfie. This one possibly the most depressed looking of her online career.
CARLY
(typing)
Last post for a while. Hashtag: trapped on the Atlantic.
The boat moves. She looks out the window and sees the dock moving away.
-
Subject line: Daisy Ridgway Khalifa’s Finished Act 1 [Lesson 12]
What I learned doing this assignment: I learned that I am not certain as to the flow of scenes, information, and even the chronological order of the story. Still, outlining scenes and adding new scenes, and deleting others, is absolutely critical and eye-opening. Also, I re-worked by beat sheet, which has been incredibly helpful. I also happen to be having a little more fun, though I am struggling with dialog. But, I am at least cranking out the key scenes, while outlining and writing dialog slowly for the others. I feel like I am in control, and, with that, that I have a lot of work ahead of me.
Act 1/Key Scene 4/Turning Point/Lock in the Journey Outline:
BEGINNING: Mia arrives in L.A. with Paul. She is equipped with her research and all sorts of data, is in L.A. as she makes her way alone to visit abandoned Pinecliff. Ian’s father’s death consumes Mia.
MIDDLE: Mia goes to her old house and takes it all in. She sees that some the expensive beautiful things her mother did to the house are still there. She has a flashback about a fight her parents had.
END: She goes to the backyard and sees nothing initially. She feels like a fool and starts to leave, until she hears a voice. It is Charles, who asks: who might you be? Mia flees.
Act 1/Turning Point/FLASHBACK Outline:
BEGINNING: A fight between parents,Katrina has locked herself in the master bedroom to be alone and talk on the phone with a friend. Girls are crying. Tina tries to calm them, and stay out of harms way
MIDDLE: While Katrina continues her phone call and ignores the family, Bruce Pauley punches his fist into the heavy paneled master bedroom door and makes a u-shaped cracked. The door was too thick to allow Bruce to make a hole.
END: Bruce storms out of the house, and tears off in the car away from the house. We see the “FOR SALE” sign in front of the. House, with an ‘OPEN HOUSE TOMORROW’ banner. [Somehow cut back to Katrina/OR CUT TO NEXT DAY, the open house, and Katrina, who remedies the door situation by hanging a chic Pucci dress over the crack in the Master Door as it is propped open.]
Act 1/ Key Scenes + Placeholder Scenes:
FADE IN:
EXT. LOS ANGELES – DAWN
Exanpsive BIRDSEYE shots of a slumbering pre-dawn Los Angeles, peaceful but for flickering city lights, all cast in a blue glow in the minutes shortly before sunrise. As we scroll through various iconic shots of greater L.A., from downtown to Beverly Hills, up the 405 to the Valley, to Century City and then west toward the ocean, the stillness of the scene begins to shake, as we hear the eerie sounds of a massive city becoming unhinged in the 1994 Northridge earthquake.
UP AUDIO, alongside the city sounds, is the voice of CHARLES LAUGHTON as he recites the Gettysburg Address.
CHARLES LAUGHTON (V.O.)
Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal. Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation, or any nation so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battle field of that war…
CUT TO:
EXT. WEST LOS ANGELES – OCEANFRONT HOUSE – CONTINUOUS
Zero in on the terrace of an oceanfront house known as PINECLIFF. The shaking continues.
CHARLES LAUGHTON (V.O.) (CON’T)
We have come to dedicate a portion of that field, as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this. But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate — we can not consecrate – we can not hallow – this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it far above our poor power to add or detract…
INT. PINECLIFF – MASTER BEDROOM – CONTINUOUS
A HUSBAND and WIFE shoot out of bed and scramble frantically.
CHARLES LAUGHTON (V.O.) (CON’T)
The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us, the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced…
ON WIFE
As she bolts from the BEDROOM INTO the HALLWAY where she is met the CARETAKER, who is holding a baby and has another child by hand.
CHARLES LAUGHTON (V.O.) (CON’T)
The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us, the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced…
BACK to MASTER BEDROOM
On husband, as he cuts across the spacious bedroom with its sweeping ocean view, grabbing what he can of his wife’s jewelry on the way. Follow him into a huge walk-in closet, where he whips aside clothes and opens a safe that is on the floor. He pulls out documents, and his Glock. He heads for the front door.
CHARLES LAUGHTON (V.O.) (CON’T)
It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us — that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last measure of devotion — that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain — that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom — and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.
INT/EXT. PINECLIFF – FRONT DOOR THRESHHOLD – CONTINUOUS
HUSBAND stands at front door as the QUAKE’s last explosive sound is heard. He turns to look back at his beautiful investment, worth millions UP TO NOW. The hallway floor BUCKLES RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM. Beyond, across the cracked terrace, the ocean is sapphire blue, calm, but for the periodic sound of giant waves pounding on the shore below.
DISSOLVE TO:
EXT./INT. PINECLIFF – DAY – ABOUT 20 YEARS EARLIER
Establish with a bird’s eye view over the terrace of the oceanfront house, PINECLIFF, on a bright sunny afternoon and we zoom in to the windows of the elegant DINING ROOM.
INT. PINECLIFF – DINING ROOM – CONTINUOUS
MIA PAULEY, 8, is straddling her housekeeper, TINA, in a tight hug, while Tina sits in a dining room chair, dressed in her finest Sunday clothes. Mia won’t let go so as to hide her tears. Tina knows. Mia’s father, BRUCE PAULEY, and her mother, KATRINA PAULEY, look on helplessly.
BRUCE
Mi-mi, I think I have to take Tina downtown now.
Tina prompts Mia and Mia finally lets go, kisses her on the cheek one more time, and gets off TINA’s lap quickly. Distraught, Mia hides her face, and runs out of the dining room. Tina sheds a tear as she watches Mia go.
EXT. PINECLIFF – GARDEN
MIA runs to the garden at the side of the house. She goes toward the fringes, where there is a brick storage building. She reaches a dark garden path, covered by pine trees, where a massive unused fire pit sits in a circle. In a daze, the child picks up rocks to toss into the pit. She is kneeling by the fire pit, lost in thought, bewildered. Out of nowhere a man with rolled up shirt sleeves and loose, wrinkled pants appears. It is CHARLES LAUGHTON. He is lost in thought, muttering a little. He spots Mia.
CHARLES
Hello there you.
MIA is startled but sees it is Charles. She rubs her eyes and brushes the tears away. She turns so he won’t see her red eyes.
MIA
Hello. Mr. Charles.
CHARLES
You know you’re welcome to call me Charlie.
(Beat)
Are you alright? You’re sad? Why are you sad, Mademoiselle Mia of the Palisade?
MIA
Tina is leaving. And, we’re moving.
CHARLES
Who is Tina? I do not know who tina is, I am afraid. Is she your friend? Funny. I have to move too.
MIA
She is our housekeeper. And she is my friend.
CHARLES
Oh, child, I do understand. You were close? People like that are so very important to us.
MIA
I called her my second mommy.
CHARLES
Well, you will always love her. And she will always love you. Always. That’s a nice thing. She’ll always be with you in some way, you know.
(Beat)
Who is going to take care of you now?
MIA
Probably Mrs. Buttle.
CHARLES
Buttle. Buttle sounds very English. Who is that?
Mia’s face brightens a little.
MIA
She is our babysitter. Yes. She is English like you. She is Cockney. Are you Cockney?
Charles smiles and laughs softly, as the child is not quite sure what she is even describing.
CHARLES
No. I am not Cockney. How do you know she is Cockney?
MIA
She told us. She always tells us. She says she was born near the sound of the baw bells. I don’t know what she is saying.
CHARLES
Aaah. Within earshot of The Bow Bells. Does she talk like this, and does she have a loud, let’s say jovial, laugh? Those are the bells of a church. Did she tell you that? St. Mary Le-Bow Church. I’ll have to ask Elsa.
Charles puts on a perfect Cockney accent for Mia and Mia giggles, her sadness having almost fallen away.
MIA
Yes, and she sings a lot. She likes to sing. And she likes when my sister and I sing for her.
CHARLES
(in Cockney)
That is very sweet. Does she have a name for you? A special name. I suspect she does. They’ll call you anything but your real name. Right?
MIA
Yes! She does. She calls me Duh. But I don’t understand when she calls me Du-h. Listen, Du-h. Hello, Du-h. C’mon duh. Don’t be stupid, Duh.
Mia makes herself laugh and Charles continues in his Cockney which makes Mia laugh more.
CHARLES
Oh my! She certainly is Cockney.
(warmly, back in his regular English accent)
You know, even when she says don’t be stupid, I have a feeling she likes you very much. I think she is calling you, Duck, actually, because you are her little duck. And she probably has lots of ducks, right? Or are you her most important duck?
Mia’s eyes light up.
MIA
Duck! Duck! Oh. That’s it…duck.
Mia smiles as if she has just discovered a buried treasure. Charles hears his name called and looks toward the house.
CHARLES
(in Cockney)
Must go, Love. Oh, forgive me. Listen, Duck, I’ve got to go.
(back to his English accent)
By the way, I don’t know if I
want to move.
MIA
Well, why are you moving?
CHARLES
Oh, something about mudslides and earthquakes.
MIA
I’ve been in an earthquake here, at this house. When I was in kindergarten. It wasn’t that scary. My sister and I got in bed with Mom and Dad and there were termors. Tina was out in the living room, but near us.
CHARLES
I don’t recall an earthquake. I know kindergarten feels like a hundred years ago, but can you remember how long ago that was?
MIA
Well…I am in second grade now.
CHARLES
Hm. Two years ago..
Charles is contemplating what Mia is saying. He hears his name again.
CHARLES
Well, I am off. They’re calling me.
MIA
Who is calling you? My mother says our new house is a treehouse.
CHARLES
How nice for you. I’ve lived in a treehouse. In England, with Mrs–with Elsa Lan?
Charles is being playful with Mia.
MIA
Lan…CHESTER.
CHARLES
Very good, Mademoiselle. Now I must go. Are you going to climb over the wall again, that way?
Charles points to a far end of the yard that borders the street. Mia looks at him and nods playfully.
CHARLES
Next time we talk, do sing a song for me that she sings. Your Mrs. Buttle. Do you know any?
MIA
Well, not really. Oh, but one. It’s I’ve got a Lovely Bunch of Coconuts.
Mia doesn’t sing, but without hitch, Charles begins the next line.
CHARLES
“…there they are all standin’ in row. Big ones, small ones, some as big as yer ‘ead.”
Mia nods and smiles from ear to ear, but is hesitant to sing.
CHARLES
C’mon you can do it. Sing with me. It’s just an English, um, affinity we have. It’s our way. We sing. We have to sing. “give us a twist, a flick of the wrist, that’s what the showman said…”
Mia whispers a few words but is too shy to sing. When she heads to the wall, she sings quietly to herself. Charles whistles the song as he heads back to the terrace of PINECLIFF.
EXT. SIDEWALK IN FRONT OF PINECLIFF
PLACEHOLDER: Little Mia leaves Charles and goes next door by climbing over the wall in the yard. She interacts with neighbors. Meet CARLOS TOBALINA and his daughter, LINDA.
EXT. PINECLIFF – TERRACE — 1947 – CONTINUOUS
ON CHARLES, he makes his way out of the garden, we follow him to the terrace. It has the same splendid view, but it is not the same terrace of Mia’s house.
It is his home, and IT IS 1947.
There are two people on the terrace: his agent, PAUL GREGORY, and his wife, ELSA LANCHESTER.
ELSA
There you are! Paul told me about your reading [see notes] Charles, I must go to Turnabout but would you kindly ask your student, Miss Winters, not to block my driveway. And kindly ask the rest of your troupe to park on the street.
CHARLES
Perhaps move your car now. Dear, have you ever seen a child in our garden before? A lovely little girl with bright, golden hair. She had on the most unusual orange plaid play clothes, pants. Sweet thing. But she said she lived here.
ELSA
I like her imagination. Probably one of the neighbors, of course.
Paul is strolling around the terrace.
PAUL
There is no one in the garden now. Where is the mudslide damage? It looks wonderful today. I am so sorry you have to move.
CHARLES
Oh, we cleaned that up right away. I was distraught. We looked as hard as we could for the x sculptures. They just absolutely disappeared. Bit ominous, actually. Gone.
Beat.
CHARLES
This child. She said she was moving. From this house. I could be loosing my mind.
ELSA
Sounds like you are. Have a good class. It’s a lovely day for it. Paul, should we be worried that a little girl is milling around our house? Maybe she’s an English spy.
PAUL
You have little to worry about. Particularly with Charles’ speaking tour. It is going to keep him very busy–and flush.
ELSA
You will have to fill me in. It might be a relief for you, Dear to not be making a movie for a while. But, as I speak, no contracts, and little in the coffer, so off I go.
EXT./INT. PINECLIFF/Antagonist Journey – DAY – SAME
Charles is greeting students, SHELLY WINTERS, ROBERT RYAN, among others, as they arrive for acting class he teaches at Pinecliff. Charles is happy at Pinecliff. He “hates himself a fraction less” at the house in West L.A. He thinks maybe the little girl is a muse telling him to stay put despite insurance problems.
INT. PINECLIFF – DAY – SAME
PLACEHOLDER/Antagonist Journey: Charles and Elsa have a run-in over parked cars and one of his students, as Elsa is trying to leave for the Turnabout Theater for her work. Show how Charles takes a lot out on Elsa. Charles is self-absorbed and sabotages Elsa a lot of the time.
EXT. WASHINGTON, D.C. – 25 YEARS LATER(1999) – MORNING -ESTABLISHING
We see the outside of a Washington, D.C. townhouse. Upsound a phone rings.
INT. WASHINGTON, DC – MIA PAULEY’S APARTMENT – SAME
MIA PAULEY, 33, is in bed and opens her eyes to the ringing phone. She closes them again and cups her eyes with her hands, suffering the pangs of a hangover headache. She rolls over and eyes the caller i.d. It is her older sister, CAREY PAULEY. Mia is reluctant to answer, as Mia never knows what mood Carey will be in, gvien Carey’s drug problems, and Mia’s own hangover doesn’t help. Still, she answers.
MIA
Hello, there, Sister.
CAREY (V.O.)
Mi? I’m so glad you answered. Oh my God! I have to talk to you.
Mia sighs quietly in bed but is relieved that her sister sounds cheery. While they talk, Mia proceeds get out of bed and roam around her apartment, which is in a post-party shambles.
MIA
It’s early for you, Girl. What are you doing up?
INT. CAREY PAULEY’S APARTMENT – L.A. – MORNING
CAREY
Oh. I went running this morning. It was beautiful. I saw the sun come up.
Carey’s apartment is a dump. There are drugs next to her bed, mail stacked up nearby and plastic grocery bags and half opened merchandise everywhere. She is post-high and very relaxed, which means she is in a great mood.
BACK to MIA
Mia frowns and is quiet. She doesn’t want to ask. Carey’s voice was so normal, but an early morning good mood usually meant Carey was still high from snorting heroine.
MIA
It’s good of you to get up early. Early bird catches the worm. And, I’m late for work, Honey. Thank you, you’re my alarm clock.
CAREY (V.O.)
I won’t keep you. I know you have to get going. Let’s talk later, but I want to tell you that the house- our old house -is abandoned. Empty. Apparently in the Northridge Quake, it was totally wrecked. And now it is quarantined, or whatever, because it is unsafe. You know, it’s got, like, police tape around it.
Mia looks at her phone and rolls her eyes.
MIA
Which old house? Kidding. Pinecliff. Our house on Corona del Mar? Wow. How do you know? Did you go? You mean, no one is supposed to trespass cuz it’s maybe unsafe?
CAREY (V.O.)
Yeah. Yeah. It’s like, damaged, and dangerous.
MIA
I don’t think its that dangerous. Dad always said it was built so far back from the cliff that it would be the last house to fall.
CAREY (V.O.)
Oh my god! That’s exacly right. You won’t believe it. The house on the corner fell into the ocean. What did Mom call it? Lou Costello’s house. The observatory? And the Tobalina’s house–Carlos’ studio…is gone. It totally fell down the cliff.
They both laugh, as Carey lilts her voice in a sexy way with the word studio.
MIA
What? That cute little hacienda. That’s what happens when you tape shitty porn flicks in a house. It’s hexed. And then ours is just a solid body.. but with a lot of structural damage is what you’re saying.
CAREY (V.O.)
I dunno. Yeah. You gotta come out and check it out with me.
MIA
It finally happened. How’d you find out?
Carey launches into a short description of finding out through the grapevine about their old house as Mia, zoning out of the phone conversation, eyes playing cards that are strewn everywhere in her living room.
MEMORY FLASH
Mia and PAUL GATTO, her married lover, are playing gin rummy. He puts a card face down, and Mia, relaxed and quite drunk, responds by throwing all the cards in the air in feigned frustration, then laughter, as she lunges toward Paul. They kiss passionatley and start to peel each other’s clothes off.
BACK TO SCENE
Mia snaps out of her daze and finds a note on the coffee table.
INSERT – NOTE
“I PUT YOU TO BED, LIKE A GENTLEMAN. TRAVELING NEXT WEEK. I’LL CALL YOU.”
Mia shakes her head as Carey’s voice comes back through the phone.
CAREY
…apparently it was renovated, but it looked like a Ritz carlton lobby. And the basement is like a movie theater, or something.
MIA
Eew. I liked it as a basement. Why can’t people just leave basements old and dusty like they’re supposed to be? I wonder if they destroyed the train tracks.
CAREY
Whatever they did they kept Mom’s pretty pink sinks. Andrew told me that, and he should know–we were all kids there. And the parquet floor was still there and some tiles in Mom and Dad’s bathroom were the same.
MIA
Damn stragiht they were. You’d have to be really stupid and gauch to get rid of those. They were about as nice anything. The tiles were hand-painted from Portugal and the sinks were Italian and from some crazy artist. Mom got them from a dealer in Beverly Hills. Dad told me that. He hated how much mom spent on that room. Have you talked to Mom?
CAREY
No. I guess I’ll call her and tell her about the house.
Carey’s voice dips a little and she sounds less upbeat. Mia is eager to get off the line before the conversation gets morose-or before they start to fight.
MIA
Yeah, I think about that amazing master bedroom. Mom put in a parquet floors and then covered it with a wool, custom-designed wall-to-wall carpet. Beautiful. Yes. Did it break the bank? I am thinking yes.
CAREY
Okay, I am gonna let you go.
MIA
Yeah. I have to clean up and get going.
CAREY
You have to get a plane ticket and come out here. You need to visit the house. We do. You ought to come out.
MIA
I’ll do my best. I love you, Sis. Take care of yourself. And have a pretty day.
CAREY
Bye, Sweetie. Mwaa.
Mia puts the phone down and goes into her closet where she finds files and an album of Charles Laughton memorabilia— papers that are a little musty, given she has not looked at them in very long time.
CUT TO:
INT. MIA’S WORKPLACE – WASHINGTON, D.C. – MORNING
Establishing. Mia works in the National Museum of American History. She greets colleagues, puts her bags down, and heads straight for another office.
INT. MUSEUM – IAN GARDNER’S OFFICE – DAY
Mia appears in IAN GARDNER’S office, which is more of a storage closet with a window, lodged between the director’s office and a secretary’s office. Ian, 35, is a young, smart, handsome, if quirky and nerdy, assistant to the museum director. Mia and Ian have become close friends.
MIA
Are you curious about me?
IAN
Infinitely.
MIA
Have I ever mentioned my Los Angeles roots?
IAN
Which part?
MIA
The part about Hollywood.
IAN
Please be more specific.
MIA
The part about Charles Laughton.
IAN
Laughton. Laughton. Laughton. Aah. Let me guess. You lived in the same house as he did.
MIA
Very good. But did I ever mention that I met him?
IAN
You left that out.
MIA
Ian, I need to talk with you. This is important, maybe because it s so silly and unimportnat, but my mind is racing with strange memories of a supernatural nature.
IAN
Super-natural-nature. This must be very important or you wouldn’t have coined such a clever collection of words.
MIA
Drinks tonight?
IAN
I’ve been waiting for you to ask since —
Ian sits up as he sees the museum director, BLAIR GORDON, standing in the doorway. From Ian’s look, Mia responds, and turns quickly to greet at the formidable Gordon, a tall, lanky, bepsecptacled septugenarian with the energy of college student. Gordon gives Mia a disinterested once over and directs his attention to Ian.
GORDON
Good morning, Ian. Have you got that Molly Pitcher research for me?
Awkward. Mia is so unwelcmome and needs to get out of the office.
MIA
Thanks, Ian. Talk to you soon. Nice to see you, Sir.
INT. HALLWAY – CONTINUOUS
Mia beelines it down the hall and mouths to herself:
MIA
Molly Pitcher?
INT. IAN’S OFFICE
Gordon steps in and stands where Mia was standing, giving Ian a look of mild disgust.
GORDON
Ian, seducation is the art of a careerist woman.
Ian is dumbstruck and smiles uncomfortably. Gordon’s jealousy is hanging in the air. Ian pulls some papers from a stack on his desk.
IAN
This is what I found on Molly Pitcher.
INT. GEORGETOWN – BAR – EVENING
BEGINNING: Mia and Ian have fun at happy hour. Their relationship is affectionate but not romantic, yet.
MIDDLE: Ian is awestruck and wants to know more about the house where Laughton lived. Mia shares fun facts, among them, Charles hosted for Ed Sullivan the night Elvis Presley appeared. Ian finds evidence about in Brecht’s papers that there was a child. Charles mentioned it to Elsa and she includes a sentence or two in her autobiography. “We a;; thought we were losing our minds, I suppose. We had moved so much…”
END: Ian helps Mia remember some key things about her meeting with Charles. They agree it all has to do with earthquakes, when they happened—and when they didn’t.
MIA
Truth is I don’t know why I am even doing this. Thinking about it. It’s ridiculous but something is gnawing at me. Why am I thinking about my old house–like a fool–thinking I’ll see him again if I go?
IAN
Let’s just go with it, Mi. Y’know. Let’s suspend our disbelief.
MIA
See? Deep down, you’re a practical man, Mr. Gardner. And so, so, generous with your imagination.
IAN
I’ll be generous with any part of my person, tangible or intangible, for you.
MIA
Promise you’re not patronizing me? And that you’re not rolling yourt eyes and shaking your head in pity because I am bat shit crazy. I remeber it, Ian. I remember it, like a dream but I also recall the very momnet, thephsycial moment, where I was standing. It happened. But, here’s the problem.
IAN
There’s a problem?
MIA
I was child. My mind was nimble, hopeful, naive. I had so much fear, and yet none at all. But everything was so clear.
Beat.
MIA
I’m obviuosly nuts, but, Ian, it was so clear. I can just see him now.
IAN
Okay. So? What do you want to do?
MIA
Study him. I want to show you everything I know. There is something else. I have something he dropped- a piece of stationary. You’re going to freak out.
IAN
I don’t freak out, in case you haven’t noticed.
MIA
We need to know everything about his life at that time. He was teaching acting classes in the back yard. He had Shelley Winters in his classes. She went to Pinecliff.
IAN
Really? Poseidon Adventure Shelley Winters?
MIA
She was in a lot of important movies, Ian. Gas Light, A Place in the Sun, the Anne Frank Movie and, Night of the Hunter.
(beat)
And there is more–something important, two things, actually. That you will care about.
IAN
Hold on. Before I care to much, I have to be the devil’s advocate about one minor detail. Why are you so worked up? I think it’s fascinating. I think what happened is fascinating. But, why now? Why are you so charged up about this? Because the house is empty? Well, okay. So you go, and then what? You see him again? I just don’t want you to be disappointed.
MIA
Fair enough. You are so right. I’ve created a scenario that is a fantasy. Incidentally, I always do that.
IAN
What are the two things?
MIA
Umm. Two things? I forgot.
Ian rolls his eyes.
IAN
Wondering. You probably wouldn’t make a very good litigator.
MIA
Wait! I remember. Oh. These are big. Laughton mentioned meeting a child in “orange plaid pants” to robert Ryan, the actor, one of his students that day. Robert Ryan put that in his biography- I think he was talking about how weird Charles was. I happen to adore Charles by the way.
IAN
I am not sure whether to ask about the orange plaid pants in, when was it, June? – you poor kid– or about where you found that information. It’s pretty spooky.
Mia is looking somberly at Ian.
MIA
There is something else.
(Beat)
He guest hosted for Ed Sullivan.
IAN
That’s what celebrites do for each other, I suppose.
(Beat)
It’s very cool. Nice.
Mia is still as she speaks.
MIA
The night he hosted, the guest on the show was Elvis Presley.
Ian gets up and walks around the table. He walks over to the dart board. He walks out the door of the bar and back in. He sits.
IAN
Let’s be reasonable here. I would like two more shots, and
(Beat)
I would like Charles to get me an autograph, to me,something like, to Ian Gardner, Fondly, Elvis Presley. Provided you see him again.
He smiles, relaxes, his theatrics have put Mia into hysterics.
IAN
Do tell. When did Mr. Laughton and you first meet?
(Beat)
Maybe not fondly. We can work on that–
MIA
–I remember it vividly. It was at Christmas. It was very brief but we both regsitered, I suppose. My parents were having a beautiful party. A ball. I swear. It was called a ball. It was in the LA Times. I wore red.
IAN
You were six. You weren’t exactly the lady in red.
MIA
I mean I had on an adorable red velvet long dress with white cap sleeves.
EXT. PINECLIFF – FLASHBACK
PLACEHOLDER: As Mia tells Ian about her first meeting with Charles over drinks (above), and we do this:
EXT. PINECLIFF GARDEN – NIGHT – FLASHBACK
PLACEHOLDER/Antagonist Journey: Mia and Charles have their first meeting at night while her family is hosting a Christmas Ball. She thinks he is one of the guests, a friend of her parents, but also knows, sort-of, that he is Charles Laughton. Charles is getting wood in the brick shed.
EXT. PINECLIFF TERRACE – NIGHT – 1947* – CHARLES’ WORLD
PLACEHOLDER/Antagonist Journey: We follow Charles back into their own party they are having a Christmas for Royal Air Force (RAF). They take a lot of heat about being ex-pats so they want to show England that they care.
BACK TO:
INT. GEORGETOWN BAR – NIGHT – PRESENT
Mia and Ian have been talking –and drinking — for hours. They are animated and buzzed, and are having a second round of shots.
IAN
To Charles and Elvis.
MIA
You already toasted them. And they weren’t really friends. They had nothing in common. It was an awkward night at best. To Charles and Elsa!
IAN
To Elsa and Elvis! Golly, all of these firsts with you. Who knew I would ever raise a glass to Elsa Lanchester and Elvis Presley?
Ian reels it all in for the moment and looks at Mia sincerely.
IAN
Mi, this is to you. You’re a strong woman with a beautiful imagination, whose words I don’t doubt for a minute–
MIA
Yes you do.
INT. LIBRARY OF CONGRESS – DAY
PLACEHOLDER:
Ian, a very good researcher by trade, teaches Mia how to navigate the Library of Congress. They research Charles and Elsa and find all sorts of papers, and Mia finds some curious clues. Ian has also brought some of his own correspondence furnished by his father, MICHAEL GARDNER. Seems Michael was contacted by Gregory and Laughton about having him help write Don Juan in Hell. Ian says: “My dad and mom were younger than we are and had just gotten married. I think they had my brother and sister, but other sister and I, the youngest, naturally, weren’t around. He was a graduate student. Apparently my dad worked with him. And Charlie wore black satin pyjamas and Dad and he liked each other a lot! Dad was intrigued and we should be able to find more notes here among Gregory’s papers. Dad told me where to look. He gets me.”
EXT. LOS ANGELES – 1948 – CHARLES’ WORLD
PLACEHOLDER/Antagonist Journey: Charles is working on Don Juan in Hell and John Brown’s Body (Callow p. 208). He is corresponding with various literary experts, including Michael Gardner. Charles tells Paul Gregory more about the “little girl muse” and that he is considering not moving, and that he is so happy just teaching, which concerns Paul.
EXT. WASHINGTON, D.C. – DAY
PLACEHOLDER: Mia’s married “lover”, PAUL GATTO, asks her to accompany him to California. She accepts in order to visit Pinecliff, as money is tight. Is she prostituting herself for a trip to L.A?
INT. AIRPLANE CABIN – DAY
PLACEHOLDER: Mia and Paul discuss their future, or, rather, their “non-future” together. He will never divorce; she tells him she can’t be a mistress and that she will move on and have a family. He asks about her visit to her old house.
INT. MIA’S WORKPLACE – DAY
PLACEHOLDER: Mia gets news that Ian’s father, MICHAEL GARDNER, was killed in a car crash. Ian has gone home. Weave in Ian’s journey: from immature Pater Pan to tragically sad to non existent to amazing scholar/museum director.
EXT. PINECLIFF GARDEN – DAY
Mia approaches the gates of PINECLIFF from the street. The elm tree is still there and she nods as she sees that the circular driveway is exactly the same. She goes in and can see straight away that the house is abandoned. To her amazement, the front door is open.
The house is empty, but not quite a stripped shell. And, to Mia’s astonishment, there are things there from her family’s day, even though the house had been renovated. She finds one of Katrina’s pink Italian sinks on the second floor, a symbol of Katrina’s excesses.
As Mia makes her way into the master bedroom, she looks at the doorway and remembers.
INT. PINECLIFF – MASTER BEDROOM – 25 YEARS EARLIER – FLASHBACK
Katrina has locked herself in the bedroom while Bruce bangs on the door.
CUT TO:
KATRINA
She is kneeling on the floor on the opposite side of the room by her side of the bed. She is on the telephone. PLACEHOLDER
BACK TO:
MIA’S WORKPLACE
Standing at the bedroom door threshold. Suddenly, she turns around and rushes back downstairs. She moves quickly through the dining room and looks at the wall where Tina sat in a chair and held her. There is a huge, jagged horizontal crack across the wall.
She heads out the French doors and walks on to the terrace and stops. That view. She takes in the dazzling ocean view and smiles.
MIA
(under her breath)
I’ll always have you. Thank you and God bless you very much.
She looks toward the garden, and slowly makes her way to the side yard. She crosses the lawn and finds herself in the dark part of the garden where the brick shed still stands. She kicks the pine needles.
MIA
Hello, detritus. How could I forget you?
She looks for the circular fire pit and finds that it has been rebuilt. When she looks up and around, she sees nothing. She is lost in thought.
MIA
What a silly fool I am? What did I expect?
Mia feels a breeze in the garden and she looks toward the ocean and sees that the fence has fallen away. She starts to walk back toward the house and cuts behind the brick shed, curious about what might be inside. She is shaking her head.
MIA
Fool.
As she comes around toward the house again, a familiar voice stops her in her tracks.
CHARLES
Now who might you be?
When Mia sees Charles, she feels a rush of fear. She is stunned and her breath becomes short. She can think of nothing else, but to run. She races from the spot and cuts to the front of the house, avoiding going inside PINECLIFF entirely.
FADE OUT.
-
This reply was modified 3 years, 3 months ago by Daisy Khalifa.
-
This reply was modified 3 years, 3 months ago by
-
Patrick Downey – Finished Act 1
ACT I
(Fade In – Present Day Downtown Chicago)
A hot and hazy Chicago morning with the streets filled with activity from shop owners sweeping their sidewalks to tourist making their way through the city. The sound of commuter horns honking, squealing of subway brakes and a scatter of musicians out early to capitalize on hopefully making a decent day’s take home pay.
INT. FOOD TRUCK PARKED ON STREET – DAY
Sitting on S. Wabash Avenue in a converted motor coach Mac-N-Cheeze foodie vehicle is 14 year veteran FBI Agent Belfiore dressed in the standard FBI dark blue suit. He is explaining the situation to first year Agent Greene a wet behind the ears, twenty something, first in his class, smart ass and two other agents assigned to the stake out. Also, why they are parked across from an old historical building in downtown Chicago, whom it is registered to, and the reasons the FBI has suspicions of the group. Agent Greene is a young African American man with a thin frame, wire glasses, dark as midnight with a smile that can light up half of Chicago on a power outage night. He was number one in his class at the Academy, very humble but with a chip on his shoulder with something to prove.
Agent Greene knew he had what it takes to be an outstanding agent. He was an only child of a single mother from the deserted streets of Tucson, Arizona. Growing up in Tucson you had two choices the good side of the law and the wrong side of the law. Agent Greene chose the good side not because he wanted to but because he feared his mother’s wrath. He had a way of getting under your skin and he knew and used it to his advantage every chance he had.
Agent Greene
I don’t understand why the agency is wasting time and energy when I have read the case file and there are very few facts, evidence, leads, and substance to justify this kind of manpower.
Agent Greene rifles through some papers in a thick file obviously uninterested with the entire case. Agent Belfiore, a solid team player of the FBI’s task force for the past 8 years has received numerous awards and recognition for his arrest and closed cases. He is not an opposing figure by any means about 5’10, 165 lbs with mousy brown hair. Agent Belfiore looks like any average Joe but his reputation for insubordination and no nonsense is legendary in the Bureau. Most agents consider this type of assignment below them, but Agent Belfiore lives for the challenge and jumped at this opportunity. The running joke around the agency based on his family is he’s married to the FBI, his wife’s name is Francis, he has an eight year old daughter named Bailey and a six year old son named Ian. Francis, Bailey and Ian (FBI) don’t tell me that was by accident. He sure premeditated that obsession into existence right under his wife’s nose. Agent Belfiore snatches the file from Agent Greene’s hands and stares him down with eyes pierced and a snarl on his lips looking like a crazed foaming at the mouth pit bull.
Agent Belfiore
(Sour look on his face)
What the hell do you know rookie, I have sat my ass out here in this vehicle day and night for the past two years gathering information so we can nail these guys to the wall. It’s called having a gut feeling and taking chances to uncover the bigger picture. Since you can barely wipe your own ass and have your runny nose buried in paperwork you wouldn’t have the first clue. You may have been first in your class but you aren’t shit out here. Now make yourself useful and get everyone in the truck some coffee around the corner.
Agent Greene springs from his chair never missing a beat as if to say you don’t scare me old man. He pushes his way past the others to the door, takes a look back at Agent Belfiore with an I’m not done yet attitude swings the door wide open and slams it shut with an exclamation point.
Agent Belfiore
If any of you other lollipops want to find yourself on a desk job until retirement, try pulling some crap like Agent Greene just did.
[Inside the coffee shop]
Agent Greene standing in a popular downtown coffee cafe waiting for his order to be filled still fuming from the altercation is texting like a mad man on his phone. The café is filled with people from all walks of life and little room to have your own personal space. All of a sudden, he looks up and his whole expression changes in an instant. It was like the parting of the Red Sea, Agent Greene managed to reach his new destination with bumping a single person with coffee in their hands, side stepping a couple of strollers and just missing the cane supporting an elderly man.
Agent Greene
(Briskly walks to the end of the line with a single focus)
Hey I recognize you, “The Crutch” right? I’ve followed you throughout your entire career from our alma mater to retirement.
(They exchange an uncomfortable laugh)
Agent Greene
Do you mind if we take a quick selfie together? My friends will never believe this when they see it. I have dreamed of meeting you for years now.
Crutch
Yay man that’s cool but I need to go right after this, in kind of a hurry you know what I mean.
Things get really awkward when Agent Greene reaches up to put his arm around him with a height difference of 6 – 7”. Crutch looks around hoping no one else notices the interaction in the coffee shop and catches the eye of the young cute barista he often flirts with and rolls his eyes. She burst out in a snort and then a laugh and quickly buries her head in her own embarrassment.
Agent Greene grabs his coffee and returns to the food truck excited to tell his story.
[Inside the van]
Agent Belfiore
Sit down, shut up and listen.
He points across the street and starts to tell them who all the players are in this stake out as they arrive over the next 15 minutes.
Agent Belfiore
The first person to enter is…..
Agent Greene
“The Crutch!” (the kid yells out) University of Vanderbilt linebacker from 1998 – 2001, first team All American honors his junior and senior year, Dick Butkus award winner as a junior, and Bronko Nagurski Award for outstanding defensive player of the year as a senior. Completed his master degree by the time he entered the draft and was selected by the Minnesota Vikings as the #3 overall pick in 2001. He was selected to the Pro Bowl for 8 consecutive years, ended the careers of 2 QB’s , 3 RB’s, and 1 WR with his vicious hits. This is a picture of Crutch and I just 15 minutes ago at the coffee shop, small world huh?
(One of the other young agents slaps him a high five and when he turns to Agent Belfiore for a high five he gets no love.)
Agent Belfiore
(Agent Belfiore looks at him dumbfounded and continues.)
The organization we are pursuing goes under the company name of H.A.V.O.C. Enterprises strangely enough it stands for Hearts and Voices of Champions. They hide under a non-profit cloud and they are one of the largest donors to children’s hospitals in the country. So, why you ask are we sitting across the street notating their every move? Well just listen and learn, oh by the way unless you have a personal relationship with any of these people like Agent Greene here has with Crutch I suggest you take notes.
Agent Greene looks around at everyone else hoping for some sympathy, but no one makes eye contact, so he just shakes his head and pulls out his note pad.
Agent Belfiore
That is the head of the HAVOC partnership, Ray Stingnelli or as his victim’s like to call him “Sting Ray”. He was old school Mafia from right here in Chicago, in his late 70’s now but always well dressed in only Italian handmade suits from Milan. A stocky man with a full head of gray hair and a piercing look that makes even the toughest of men look away first. He is not a well-educated man but as street smart and connected as they come. He comes from a long line of Stingnellis that claim to be one of the oldest Italian mafia families to settle in Chicago. He has spelt a lot of blood on these streets in his younger days but never convicted of so much as a traffic violation. Ray is very well connected in the political ring, upstanding businessman and beloved by his community. It has been said that if he ran for mayor, he would win hands down. Married to the same woman for 56 years and has 9 children, 5 of which are doctors and 4 are attorneys.
Arriving now is second in command, Audie Christman a former Wall Street mogul and owner of the largest sports agency in North America based out of Miami. He is the brains of the company, a graduate of Duke who holds a Master’s degree in Statistics and a PhD from Berkeley in Applied Mathematics. Don’t let his tall, slender, mousy look fool you because he is a genius with numbers. Audie is a bit of a playboy and world traveler who loves the horses and the card tables. He has property in the Virgin Islands, Costa Rica, Spain, Cuba, Hawaii and has been rumored to own a castle in England somewhere.
Those two boneheads are the muscle in the form of the “O” brothers from New York, Graham O’Brien and Patrick O’Riley. Just by their mannerism alone, you would think they were separated at birth or maybe grew up in the same household. Both retired officials that went on to hold commissioner jobs in the NBA and NFL respectively. O’Brien was a referee for 22 years and NBA commissioner from 1981 – 1988 and later went on to head up the selection committee for the Summer Olympic Games from 1988 to 1994. O’Riley was an official for 17 years, director for the NFL Referees Association for a stint and eventually selected as NFL commissioner from 1984 – 1992. Not to stereotype the Irish but, both are very loud with explosive tempers. O’Riley is a little more conservative about his views but make no doubt he is very head strong once he sets his sights on a topic, he minced no words. O’Brien is a speak first, think second kind of guy. He has so many controversial comments over the years they could fill a book and don’t get him drunk because anything is possible to come out of his mouth. Finally arriving from Los Angeles are Kristos Alexandrite and his son Dardanos. Kristos is a very handsome, well-educated and aligns himself with royalty and power. He is known as the Hugh Hefner of Europe. Dardanos is the Adonis of Greek men, ladies’ man, and avid race car driver. They come from very old Greek money and have an extremely high sense of self-worth about the family and are not afraid to share it with you. The son’s name alone should tell you a little about their narcissistic bloodline, his name means “to devour”. They own the international chain of Alexandrite Luxury hotels located in Paris, Dubai, New York City, Sydney, Tokyo and Singapore. The Alexandrite Luxury hotels are not for the faint at heart or want to be big spenders the most exclusive rooms come with the use of a yatch and a helicopter at your dispense. The Alexandrite’s have made some extraordinary investments along the way. In addition to their hotels under construction in Los Angeles and Beijing, they own 2 NBA teams, 1 NFL team, 1 NHL team all in the great State of California.
Agent Greene
Why are we so interested in what these men do for a living?
Agent Belfiore
Glad you asked, our records show that their net worth is far, far exceeding any amount they could have made through business transactions, investing, 401K’s or putting it under the mattress. Here’s what we know thus far, the men meet at the beginning and end of every individual sports season, and weekly during the summer in what they call the “Vault”.
The building was an old Chicago bank which had been around from the 1950’s with an actual functioning vault. The room is equipped with the latest technology and divided into five sections, one for each of the major sports and one section shared for the Vegas odds. Besides the six gentlemen there are only two other people that have ever been inside of the vault; Carmella Acevedo Colon who has been Audie’s personal assistant for the past 20 years and now works for the partnership full-time wearing a number of different hats, the other person is Crutch a former NFL football player turned personal security for the men. His real name is Mathis Crutchfield and thanks to Agent Greene here, you already know his stats and personal history. He was the NFL’s form of early retirement with his hits, thus the nickname Crutch.
Agent Greene
(chirps in again not learning his lesson from the first time)
“So how do you know all this information about the inside of the bank?”
Agent Belfiore pauses for a moment, looks to the ceiling of the motor coach as if not wanting to address the question at all but realizes as he gazes at the others, they are quite curious as well. He pops another piece of gum in his mouth and mauls it just like he has for the past four months since he stopped smoking.
Agent Belfiore
“We were able to tap into an old hidden bank camera with a live feed plus we have been sending in federal agents serving as UPS drivers to deliver packages and scan the room.” What we also assume is that all payoffs are made by Crutch on game day. He is the only one that travels on game days, and it is always to a NFL city. We have been unsuccessful in gathering further information or photos due to his status and unrestricted movement among NFL players and team facilities. They seem to have a few others on the payroll with similar access into MLB, NBA and NHL facilities. I mean think about it, who stops these guys? Most people are thinking either selfie or autograph rather than what are they carrying and why they are here.
On June 4, 2009 a new person was to enter the vault and change the partnership forever. Ray brought his 10 year old grandson into work with him for the summer. His name was Cayman, he was the only child born to Ray’s youngest daughter, Stacy a single mother and he was born deaf. Ray loved this kid more than any other of his eighteen grandchildren; Ray even learned sign language to be able to communicate with Cayman. The others took to Cayman right away he had this calmness about him and often studied the facial movements of people as if to read your mind. The only one that never cared for Cayman was Dardanos, who didn’t really like anyone let alone a child. Cayman was a gangly kid, with big brown eyes, a head full of black hair, the curiosity of a cat, with a bottomless pit for a stomach. You couldn’t help but love him.
Ray had paid very good money to send his grandson to the best hearing-impaired school in Scottsdale, AZ where he and his mother lived. Over the next two years Cayman would come spend the summer hanging out with his grandfather at the company doing mindless task and mostly playing video games. Cayman loved being anywhere his grandfather was even in the office for hours on end. He felt safe and Ray served as a good role model for him since Cayman didn’t have a father in his life. Cayman would follow his grandfather to the ends of the earth. The summers seemed to pass by faster each year but that just meant he would be back soon also.
INT. STACY HOME, SCOTTSDALE, AZ – DAY
Cayman’s mother, Stacy wanted to surprise her father Ray with a gift, so she hired a tutor for Cayman to teach him how to read lips. Now this was no ordinary tutor, it was a lady that was highly recommended and regarded as one of the best in her field. The doorbell rings and Stacy heads to the door. As she opens it, there stands a very exotic looking lady in her fifties but with every bit of sophistication you would imagine in a Fortune 500 CEO. The teacher was tall, olive colored glowing skin, dark wind-blown curly hair from driving over in her convertible, stylish spring outfit looking like it came right out of an Armani Collezioni catalog. She was even a little intimidating to Stacy and that was extremely hard to pull off. However, the moment she smiled and extended her hand, the warmth came rushing into Stacy’s soul.
Stacy
Hello you must be Ms. Nebhan. I have heard so many wonderful things about your teaching style and the incredible success you have had with the Mouth Beta Mimic to Phonics Program.
Ms. Nebhan
(Ms. Nebhan gathers her wind-blown hair and twist to one side)
Thank you, Mrs. Stingnelli, but it’s truly all about the kids not me. I decrease so they can increase.
(Stacy thought how beautiful and remembers hearing a worship song with similar words)
Stacy
Please Mrs. is my mother, call me Stacy.
Ms. Nebhan
Then I insist you call me Ms. Nebhan!
(The ladies burst out in laughter)
Ms. Nebhan (CONT’D)
No please my name is Sophia.
Stacy
Now that we have the formalities out of the way, let me warn you about my son. He can be very shy, sometimes lacks confidence and doubts his ability to sign even though he has been doing it since he was three.
Ms. Nebhan
Okay. Anything else I should know?
Stacy
That’s it. All his teachers say he is a very good student. That he keeps to himself most of the time but has friends and everyone likes him. I work from home a lot, so I set aside time to work with him on his school assignments every afternoon when he comes home. Our lives are pretty normal and boring I am afraid to say.
The ladies head back towards the family room and there sitting in front of the computer is Cayman. Stacy signs to Sophia this is my most wonderful son Cayman! Sophia signs to Cayman it is very nice to meet you I’m Ms. Nebhan! Cayman signs back me too! Sophia signs to Cayman we have the same name? Cayman laughs as does his mother and the three quickly begin a learning and loving relationship.
INT. H.A.V.O.C. OFFICE FRONT DESK – DAY
(A handsome, well-built, middle-aged UPS driver leans against Carmella’s desk chatting her up.)
Carmella
So, how many stops a day do you make? And how many women do you flirt with on these stops?
Driver
I make anywhere between 100 – 125 deliveries a day and I only flirt with one! As a matter of fact, you might know her? Sweet old lady in her late 70’s works at the front desk of the Chicago Board of Trade building. I think she has been there about 45 years now.
(He winks at Carmella, and she laughs and throws a paperclip at him)
(She knows good and well that he is with the FBI and trying to get some information from her, but she doesn’t care, she thinks he’s handsome and funny. She’ll play along as far as she can because she likes the attention, he gives her)
So, this might seem a little forward, but is there a chance I could take you to dinner one night? I mean, I’m assuming there is no Mr. Colon in the picture?
(Carmella bites the end of her pen with anticipation of her answer. She completely forgets who he works for and is caught up in the excitement of the moment)
Carmella
Well, there is no Mr. in the picture thanks for asking. However, you’ll need to give me some time to think about this dinner situation if that’s okay. After all, I don’t even know your name.
Driver
It’s Greg, Greg Conner.
(Carmella smiles and thinks to herself that sounds nice!)
Carmella
Thank you, Greg! Nice to meet you… kind of for the first time.
Driver
Likewise, and please take your time on the decision. I appreciate you even considering.
Carmella
That’s very kind of you Greg, thank you!
(Greg waves goodbye and heads for the front door as Carmella watches him from behind with the complete head to toe inspection. She is pleased with what she sees.)
INT. STACY’S OFFICE – DAY
About six months into her teaching Sophia can’t help but be amazed at how quickly Cayman is picking up this MBMPP (Mouth Beta Mimic to Phonics Program). She has seen several high IQ students grasp the concepts immediately, but no one has excelled in her twelve years of teaching the program like Cayman.
Ms. Nebhan
Cayman, I am so proud of the progress you have made in such a short time.
Ms. Nebhan purposely did not use any sign language to see just how much Cayman could pick up. Cayman stared at Ms. Nebhan intently while she spoke slowly and clearly at the end, he paused for a moment looked up to the left for memorization began to smile real big and signs to her “thank you”.
Over the next few months as Sophia came to the house to work with Cayman, her and Stacy would spend time enjoying a glass of wine after the lessons were done and they got a chance to just chat. On one fire-lite sky sunset evening sitting out in the backyard with a fire pit warming the air.
Stacy
Sophia where did you grow up?
Sophia
Good question? I was always moving from country to country because my father worked for Exxon and every 3 or 4 years, they would relocate us to a new place.
Stacy found it intriguing living all over the world but also thought she must feel unsettled never really having a home.
Stacy
That sounds exciting but also kind of displaced, I mean never really having a place to call home or go back to visit.
Sophia
True…but I also don’t feel tied down to any one place either. There is a kind of wild freedom about being a nomadic woman! In this day and age I still travel all over the world by myself, some places less than others but every place has its own beauty.
Stacy
You are a true travel warrior Sophia! I admire you for enjoying your life. There are times I wish I could take a vacation from my family. Don’t get me wrong I love my parents and my siblings, but we are an Italian family with a lot of tradition and pride. The competition in the house during holidays is almost overbearing. My brothers fighting over my mother’s attention and my sisters fighting over my father’s love. Then toss in all the grandkids talking about what they have accomplished lately or where they have traveled with their parents and who is the smartest and cutest. It’s a side show Sophia, you wouldn’t believe it unless you saw it yourself. Oh, did I mention we are loud!
Sophia
It sounds like so much fun and just the opposite of how I grew up. Our house was quiet with just me and my younger brother. My parents were very traditional from the old country, my mother had her master’s degree and my father his PhD both were serious all the time. I remember once my father told a joke at the dinner table. I was in shock and didn’t know rather to laugh or not but my younger brother broke out in a hysterical laugh and my mother popped him with the wooden spoon.
Stacy
What? That’s hilarious! Well, you don’t seem to fit the mold of your parents that’s for sure.
Sophia
Thank you, Stacy! Are you channeling my mother at this very moment or what?
(They shared a laugh)
Sophia (CONT’D)
When I was very young and got in trouble, my mother use to always say “we are going to return you to where we found you.”
Again, the two laughed so hard and loud grabbing their stomachs with tears streaming down their faces. Cayman had turned to see them laughing and he was so happy they both loved each other that he came and gave them both a hug then turned and walked right back to his computer. As they both watched Cayman walk away Stacy wondered about Sophia.
Stacy
Do you have any children of your own?
Sophia
No, I don’t. Never married, never found Mr. Right. However, I think God planned it that way because I have given some much to the children I have taught over these many years. I don’t (she pauses) well I know I wouldn’t have given them as much had I had my own family.
Stacy
Huh, I never looked at it that way. Well, I can tell you have the gift of teaching it shows with my little man in there. He just adores you!
Sophia
How about you? Where is Cayman’s father?
Stacy
In a bank.
Sophia
(Looking confused)
Excuse me. I don’t understand.
Stacy laughs and fills their glasses with more wine thinking Sophia will need it after her explanation.
Stacy
A sperm bank. That’s where Cayman’s father is sitting, on a shelf #040817 my Mr. Right there!
The two of them burst out into laughter, clink their glasses and enjoy a long sip and almost spit wine out of their mouths as they continue to laugh.
These little get togethers became almost a weekly tradition between Stacy and Sophia as the months went by.
EXT. RESTAURANT IN CORAL GABLES, FL
(Audie and Ray sitting outside at a table drinking after dinner cognac and smoking cigars)
Audie
Ray how’s the family doing?
Ray
Everyone is really good! I’m taking the Mrs. to Santorini for her 75th birthday and we are staying at one of Kristos’s houses for a couple of weeks.
Audie
That sounds so relaxing Ray. I’m jealous! We should both be doing more things like that on a regular basis but here we are working everyday even when we don’t need to.
Ray
Mine is a family curse but I don’t know what you keep doing with that agency of yours. It can clearly run itself with the people you have hired to run it.
Audie
Yeah. I get it but it’s that win, that rush you feel from getting the next biggest rookie out of college or that free agent that every team wants, and you change their lives with generational money. It’s tough to walk away from all that.
Ray
Audie, let’s promise each other from every year going forward that we start spending more time together and going places, agreed?
Audie
I’ll toast to that plan everytime!
(They raises their glass in cheers and sit back and enjoy the fire, cognac, cigar and each other’s friendship)
INT. STACY’S HOUSE – DAY
A year had passed since Cayman started the program and his ability to read lips was at the advanced level. Most of Sophia’s younger students took a couple of years to reach the intermediate level but Cayman had reached the advanced level in his first year.
Ms. Nebhan
Stacy, I really think I have done all I can do with Cayman. He just needs to continue to progress on his own at this point and challenge himself as much as possible. He is truly gifted!
Stacy
Thank you so much Sophia! You have been such a blessing to Cayman in more ways than you can imagine. I wish you continued success in all your endeavors, and you will be missed a lot.
Ms. Nebhan
You two have become like family to me. I hope we keep in touch I want to know how you guys are doing from time to time.
Stacy
Absolutely!
(signs to Cayman – this is Ms. Nebhan’s last day teaching you)
Ms. Nebhan turns towards Cayman and extends her arms for a big hug. They embrace tightly and you can see both sadness and gratitude on Cayman’s face. She pulls him away so he can see her lips.
Ms. Nebhan
Cayman, please continue to make me and your mother proud. I see the most wonderful and abundant life ahead for you.
Cayman
(signs)
I will never forget you Ms. Nebhan and don’t let anyone take the song out of your heart.
(Something Ms. Nebhan use to always say to Cayman at the end of every lesson)
Ms. Nebhan
You’re such a little lover, thank you!
So, before his fourth summer at the age now of fourteen Cayman’s mother was going to surprise her father with the news of him being able to read lips. Just two weeks before their trip to Chicago, Cayman’s mother a highly respected corporate merger attorney was driving back from a business meeting in Tucson, AZ. The meeting had run a little longer than anticipated and she was expected home by Cayman around 4p.m. so they could go for their usual Friday pizza date. Stacy was a little concerned because a weather warning had been issued for a massive dust storm heading right into the I-10 path she needed to take to get home. About 20 minutes into her 90-minute drive she could see the wall of sand coming across the desert like a mountain. If you have never lived in the Arizona desert during dust storms or monsoons it is something like the storm in the Mummy movie. As it reached the highway Stacy didn’t feel safe, so she pulled her Volvo SUV over to the side of the highway and followed protocol of turning off her lights. She pulled out her phone to text Cayman and let him know she was running late due to her meeting running long and the dust storm but that she was safely waiting it out on the side of the road just outside Red Rock, Arizona. As she hit send, she heard a terrible and ferociously loud grinding noise and when the storm cleared about 25 minutes later emergency crews found Stacy’s Volvo smashed under an 18-wheeler trailer that had been driving blindly in the sandstorm. After an hour Cayman became very worried since he had not heard from his mother so he text Ms. Nebhan to see if she would come over and keep him company. When Ms. Nebhan arrived at the house another car she didn’t recognize was sitting in the driveway and she wondered who it might be. A well-dressed, young lady in her 30’s stepped out of the car and introduced herself as Tezhary, Ms. Stingnelli’sassistant at the firm.
Tezhary
Hi, I’m Tezhary, Ms. Stingnelli’s assistant at the law firm.
Ms. Nebhan
Hi, I’m Sophia Nebhan, Cayman’s teacher and a family friend.
Tezhary
Thank God you are here I couldn’t do this by myself. I’ve been sitting in my car for 10 minutes just frozen in disbelief.
Ms. Nebhan
Do what? What’s going on?
Tezhary
You haven’t heard I thought that was why you were here so quickly. Ms. Stingnelli was killed in a traffic accident during a sandstorm just North of Tucson this evening.
Ms. Nebhan
Oh, dear God no!
(She plunges her face into her hands as her eyes well up and quickly dart to the front door of the house where Cayman is inside anxiously waiting for her)
Tezhary
As soon as we were notified, I contacted her father in Chicago and the other two partners of the firm. I was told to come to the house and tell Cayman, but I didn’t know how with him being you know, deaf.
(Tezhary continued rambling with different scenarios of just how she was thinking of telling him, but it had become just white noise to Ms. Nebhan as her focus shifted immediately to Cayman).
Ms. Nebhan
I need to get inside now. Tezhary you can go I will handle this and stay with him.
(Ms. Nebhan starts her long walk towards the door with a very heavy heart. She had walked this walk many, many times but this time it seemed like a never-ending corridor)
Tezhary
Okay, okay…. um his grandfather is on his plane as we speak and said he should land around 11p.m. tonight.
(Ms. Nebhan stops and turns back realizing she is not the only one hurting here)
Ms. Nebhan
Thank you very much Tezhary I’m so sorry are you going to be, okay?
Tezhary
Yes, I guess, I mean, please go take care of Cayman I will be fine.
(The ladies share a half-hearted smile and a head nod of solidarity and go their separate ways)
As Ms. Nebhan reaches for her key to the house Stacy had given her with a heart shaped jingle ball on the end, memories came rushing to her mind and she had to take a moment to herself. She had witnessed first-hand the amazing bond that Cayman and his mother had developed over the years and thought how crushing this would be for him. Ms. Nebhan enters the house and finds Cayman sitting on the living room floor holding an 8×10 framed photo of him and his mother at the Grand Canyon. He barely acknowledges Ms. Nebhan when she walked in which was so out of character for Cayman. It was as if he already knew something was wrong and as she sat down on the couch next to him, she could see the TV on in the other room showing a string of multi car accidents up and down the Phoenix-Tucson I-10 corridor. Ms. Nebhan moved to the floor beside Cayman grabbed his face in her hands and proceeded to tell him that his mother was not coming home.
Ms. Nebhan
Cayman my dear, I don’t know how to tell you this, but your mother is not coming home tonight or ever again. Our Lord has decided it was time to call her home.
Cayman’s big eyes filled with water like a bathtub that was overflowing because someone left the water on. He did not sob uncontrollably like Ms. Nebhan would have expected as a matter of fact he really didn’t show much emotion at all. Ms. Nebhan asked him if he understood what was going on and Cayman just looked at her like as if he was looking right through her and she became worried that he might be in shock. She went to get him a blanket, a glass of water, a box of tissue and his tablet. After wrapping him in the blanket she pointed to the tablet and said “write what you are feeling”. Cayman grabbed his tablet turned it on and typed one sentence.
Cayman
(typing) I could feel my mother take her last breath at exactly 4:56 p.m.
Ms. Nebhan
Cayman I am staying here with you until your grandfather arrives late tonight, okay?
Cayman nods his head and stares straight ahead with tears still streaming down his face. Ms. Nebhan puts her arm around him and pulls him close and they sit there in silence as the dusk turns to night. The doorbell rings and startles the both of them as they had nodded off, Ms. Nebhan because the unfamiliar sound and Cayman because Ms. Nebhan jerked forward. Ms. Nebhan heads for the door to see who it is and realizes that it must be Cayman’s grandfather as she glances at her watch. She opens the door and there stands Ray Stingnelli looking weathered and beat from the flight and sadden news of his youngest daughter.
Ms. Nebhan
Welcome you must be Mr. Stingnelli. I’m Sophia Nebhan, Cayman’s tutor, and Stacy’s friend. (she extends her hand for a handshake)
Ray
(receives the handshake as he steps inside the door)
Yes, Tezhary sent me a text saying that you were at the house with Cayman. Thank you for being here for our family. I wish our meeting was under better circumstances. How is Cayman doing?
Ms. Nebhan
I’m not really sure, kind of in a fog I think. I explained to him what happened but he seemed to know already when I arrived.
Ray
What do you mean?
Ms. Nebhan
Follow me into the other room let me show you.
Ray sets his suitcase down and follows Ms. Nebhan into the Living room. As Ms. Nebhan reaches the living room she expects to see Cayman where she last left him but he is not there. She reaches down onto the couch and picks up Cayman’s tablet and proceeds to show Ray what Cayman had typed.
Ms. Nebhan
After I told Cayman that his mother would not be coming home and that she is with the Lord now, this is the one and only response I have gotten from him.
Ray (reads the words aloud)
“I could feel my mother take her last breath at exactly 4:56 p.m.”
That was the tipping point for Ray as he broke out in tears as he reached for his handkerchief. Sophia realized this was probably the first time he had time to grieve his daughter’s death. She felt uncomfortable not knowing what to do at this point, should she hug him, would he be offended if I did when we only meet 5 minutes ago, maybe I should go check on Cayman and give him his privacy or should I just wait for him to gain his composure and then take him to Cayman. Just as Sophia was about to touch Ray on the shoulder and excuse herself, he says
Ray
I’m sorry it’s just Stacy was very special to me. She brought us so much joy! She never had a bad day, ever! We had tickets to the White Sox game in 3 weeks, she knew baseball better than her brothers!
(Ray wipes his eyes, blows his nose like a trumpet and then smiles)
Ms. Nebhan
She sure talked about you a lot! You were her inspiration and motivation! She often talked about the love in your whole family but know that she loved you immensely.
Ray
That’s my Stac! Now let’s go find my little caveman Cayman.
They must have looked in every room at least twice and spent 20 minutes before finding him sitting on the floor in the back of his mother’s walk-in-closet. Ray found him because he noticed a pair of converse sneakers smack dab in the middle of a bunch of 5 inch heels. As Ray parted the long evening gowns to unveil Cayman’s disillusioned face, Cayman looking up expecting to see Ms. Nebhan instead peering into his Papa’s eyes he leaped forward and practically knocked Ray over with a tight hug around the neck. As they exited the closet Ray called out to Sophia that he had been found. They all reunited in the kitchen with Cayman still hanging onto his grandfather. Ms. Nebhan knew her work here for the night had been accomplished. She grabbed her purse and cell phone and said her goodnights.
Ms. Nebhan
Well I can see he just needed family so I am going to head home. I left my number on the refrigerator if you would like me to stop back in tomorrow and help out?
As Ray starts to answer he sees Cayman shaking his head yes and realizes that Ms. Nebhan didn’t use any sign language. Ray signs to Cayman to take his bag to his room please. Cayman gives Ms. Nebhan a big, giant hug and signs thank you for being here for me I will never forget it.
Ray
Sophia, you have quite the relationship with Cayman. I have only seen him that way with his mother, not even his aunts or grandmother get that kind of affection. Thank you!
Sophia
Well in all fairness I have spent a good part of the past year working with Caymen, not to mention the times Stacy and I just hung out.
Ray
(Still thinking back to the yes head nod of Cayman)
What type of tutor did you say you were? I must have missed it.
Now Sophia, knowing good and well that her teaching Cayman to read lips was supposed to be a huge surprise upon their upcoming visit. However, with Stacy now gone should she tell Ray or leave that up to Cayman. After all it was his hard work and determination that made it all possible this quickly.
Sophia
I am a facial recognition and emotion therapist. We teach kids to use their facial emotions when signing and to recognize an obvious situation to express themselves. For instance you may have noticed Cayman was shaking his head yes when I asked about coming back tomorrow.
Ray
I did.
Sophia
Well Cayman was trying to anticipate the conversation between us, and he probably figured you were telling me thank you or drive home safely or even that I was available if you needed me for anything. So, he was saying yes to any and all of those and he happened to be right. We feel like it helps them to feel more assimilated into society even though they have a disability. I guess my teaching has paid off.
Ray
I would say so! I thought maybe he could hear or somehow understand you.
(They both chuckle at the thought of that idea)
Sophia
I’m good at what I do but not that good.
Ray
Thank you again Sophia! Goodnight
Sophia walked to her car feeling kind of bad for lying to Ray but she justified it by saying it was not her place to tell what Stacy wanted to keep a surprise. She was also kind of impressed with herself for pulling all that out of nowhere so fast.
At the wishes of Stacy Stingnelli, they held a small private ceremony with family and close friends all gathered around her ashes and the Father DeFrancisco of St. Patrick’s Catholic Community Church in Scottsdale, Arizona blessed the ceremony.
A few days after the funeral Ray took Cayman to Chicago to live with him and the surprise of Cayman being able to read lips was lost with his mother.
-
Lesson 12 – Finish Act 1
ASSIGNMENT
BG’s Finished Act 1
What I learned doing this assignment: Never wrote a first-draft Act 1 this fast before;))
2. Write a 20% draft of Act 1.
A CLUB FOR PATRIOTS
ACT 1:
Key Scene 1: Exciting opening scene intros a main character, the conflict and/or world.
INT. APARTMENT LOBBY — NIGHT
A young man walks in. Late-twenties, medium-build. Broken-heart written all over his face. He is REPORTER, a mechanical engineer. He’s dropped out of grad school mid-thesis, bummed around Europe for a year, and then drifted into a job as a reporter for a U.S. weekly magazine.
He checks his mailbox and finds a fat envelope. He examines it. Looks puzzled and walks toward the elevators.
INT. REPORTER’S APARTMENT — NIGHT
Contents of fat envelope laid out on the kitchen table: bad copies of photos of several people, of a beautiful, 18th-century building in London, of a few diplomatic cables, and of what look like online bank statements…
Reporter takes photos of some of the items with his cellphone. He connects the cellphone to a big workstation in the corner and transmits the photos he’s just taken.
He sits at the keyboard and types — reverse-image searches.
ON THE SCREEN: With each match, information streams down the large monitor. He reads fast.Key Scene 2: Inciting Incident propels the protagonist onto the journey!
INT. NEWSROOM – DAY
Bustling newsroom, with computer screens everywhere. Contents of fat envelope are again laid out on a big table. EDITOR, mid-fifties, a fatherly type, stands by a giant monitor, watching curiously as information streams down and Reporter explains.
EDITOR: What the hell…
REPORTER: Wait till you see this.
ON THE SCREEN: Stream stops at a photo he’s taken with his cellphone. A blurry image of an important-looking man. Glamorous photos of the same man in various social occasions with other important-looking people stream down the screen.
REPORTER: Would you believe it, he’s BILLIONAIRE! What’s he doing in my mailbox?
ON THE SCREEN: Billionaire’s Wikipedia summary reads:
“British Billionaire, 65. Born in Czechoslovakia. He uses
his media empire to promote Western values. His foundation,
National Endowment for Freedom (NEF), provides billions
to democracy efforts worldwide.”
EDITOR: Well, Reporter, looks to me like somebody wants you to investigate something.
His eyes twinkle.
EDITOR: You’ve hit big time, kid.
REPORTER: Why me? I’m a nobody. Why not the New York Times? Or the Washington Post?
EDITOR: Okay. Let’s lose the self-pity. It’s clearly a tip. It’s worth a look.
Reporter stands looking mulish — his usual non-committal, unsmiling self.
EDITOR: No need to be so glum. You’ll have a great time in Europe. Just keep it cheap.Write the scene for the Reaction to the Inciting Incident.
INT. REPORTER’S APARTMENT — NIGHT
Images of the contents of the envelope stream slowly down the screen. In two little windows in a corner are Reporter and HACKER, his friend from grad school, same age, different departments.
Reporter sits in front of the screen at the keyboard, looking scruffy.
HACKER: Gee, some of these cables could be classified stuff.
REPORTER: Which is why I’m just letting you only look at images, not giving you copies. And wash your computer after this call.
HACKER: This is a secure connection. VPN.
REPORTER: Yeah, right. Moving on.
ON THE SCREEN: Images streaming. They stop at — the beautiful, 18th-century building. Images found through reverse-image search have replaced some of the blurry paper copies.
HACKER: Well, I recognize the Club, of course, very posh, billionaire’s row and all that. All members are billionaires, oligarchs, international wheeler-dealers… Can I take another looksie at that bank statement again?
ON THE SCREEN: Stream stops at a video of Billionaire giving speech at a Davos conference. On the wall behind him, in wall-size letters, is the title of his talk:
“Changing the World for the Better
Through Pro-Democracy NGOs”
HACKER: You know, of course, all that ‘Pro-Democracy NGO’ stuff is just cover for doing regime-change operations in countries with governments we don’t like? Can I just take another looksie at that bank statement again?
REPORTER: I’m trying to protect you from from stuff with national security implications.
HACKER: Well, it looks to me like someone is putting together money to finance a nasty operation and someone else is trying —
REPORTER: The world is full of nasty stuff, let’s just stick to getting a story.
He turns off the streaming images. Only Reporter and Hacker, in bigger windows, are left on the screen now.
REPORTER: I’ll call when I get there. Keep safe.INT. INSIDE AIRPLANE – NIGHT
Cheap flight. Reporter plugging away at his laptop.INT. CHEAP HOTEL – LONDON – NIGHT
Cheap room. Reporter plugging away at his laptop.Write your Act 1 Turning Point.
EXT. LONDON STREET – DAY
Reporter finds the building. Huge, beautiful, 18th-century palace. Discrete gold sign reads: A Club for Patriots. As he walks around it – FOOTSTEPS. He turns around —
A big, beautiful WOMAN catches up.
WOMAN: Hi! Reporter! It’s Reporter, isn’t it? We met at Chez Jean. Don’t you remember?
REPORTER: Uhhh… No…
WOMAN: You were working there! Well, I’m HOSTESS.
(extends her hand)
HOSTESS: I work at The Club as a hostess. The Club for Patriots. Right behind you. Very well-known. Are you still at Chez Jean?
REPORTER: Uhhh… No…
Gorgeous. Big, but not over-weight. Rather, covered by a layer of smooth muscle. Hostess takes his arm firmly, turns him around and marches him toward The Club.
HOSTESS: That’s good. Because, we’re hiring! You were a bouncer at Chez Jean, right? Outside job. Igghhh! Not good. This job is inside! A waiter!
Hostess turns to him and lowers her voice conspiratorially.
HOSTESS: Actually, we’re always hiring. You wouldn’t believe how tight the job market is for a good waiter. If you can read labels on foreign wines, there is no limit to how high you can rise. You do speak foreign languages, right?
REPORTER: Uhhh… Yes…
Hostess brings him to a sharp stop right before the cathedral-style entrance of The Club.
HOSTESS: Of course, Mr. Billionaire is very picky, doesn’t like anything or anyone! He will insist on meeting you! Dress properly tomorrow. -
<div>
TIM’S FINISHED ACT 1 – DAY 12
What I learned doing this assignment is that by allowing myself to write a low-quality first draft I can fill out my script with scenes that are a step above “placeholders”, knowing I’ll improve them considerably with future passes.
</div>
ACT 1
Int. Bob’s house – family room – dAY
DUKE, a lazy hound dog living the good life relaxes on “his spot” on the couch,
His owner BOB (35) scurries around the room nervously, tidying up: fluffing pillows, arranging magazines on a coffee table.
Duke studies him curiously. Bob catches his glance.
Bob
You really should get more exercise.
Duke yawns, stretches and hops – well, falls – off the couch.
He strolls across the room, grabs his bed in his teeth and drags it to a sun-soaked spot by the window.
He collapses onto the bed and basks in the warmth.
Bob
You are the most spoiled dog on the planet. But you’re a good boy, aren’t you?
Duke wags his tail and smiles. Yes, I AM a good boy.
BOB
I’ve got a surprise for you. I know you’re gonna love it.
Duke shows some pep now. He rises and starts for the kitchen.
BOB
(laughs)
No, not food. Outside!
Duke goes back to the window and peers outside.
A car pulls into the driveway and parks.
The driver and passenger doors swing open and out steps Bob’s girlfriend KAREN (30s) and her bratty daughter MADISON (13).
Right behind them, a moving van pulls in.
Duke’s face drops.
BOB
Surprise!
Int. BOB’S HOUSE – nIGHT
Bob and Duke sit on the couch watching football on tv. Madison sits on a chair, bored.
Karen enters with popcorn and approaches the couch but there’s not much room for her.
KarEN
Does he always sit on the furniture?
BOB
Um, yeah, I guess it’s just been us bachelors until now.
He looks at Duke and motions for him to get off.
Duke slips off the couch, gives Karen a nasty look on his way to his bed.
Karen sits down next to Bob with the bowl of popcorn.
Madison grabs the remote and changes the channel.
MaDISON
Mind if we watch Real Housewives?
Bob concedes but with a look that mimics Duke’s.
Int. BOB’S HOUSE – DAY
PLACEHOLDER: FOR NOW IT’S A MONTAGE:
1. Karen sneezes, points to Duke. Bob points for Duke to leave the room.
2. Duke lies at edge of kitchen entrance and drools while watching Bob, Karen, and Madison eat dinner. Madison makes an “Ew, gross” face and points at Duke. Bob tells him to leave.
3. Duke lies on his bed. Madison sits on the couch texting. She puts her feet up on the coffee table and knocks over a glass, which breaks. Duke comes over to sip up the soda as Bob enters the room. Madison points at Duke. Bob frowns at him.
4. Bob watches tv as Karen vacuums the family room. She begins sneezing uncontrollably again. She stops vacuuming to take a pill, then slumps melodramatically on the couch.
5. Bob drags Duke’s bed into the cramped laundry room between the kitchen and garage. He gives Duke a “sorry” look.
Int. BOB’S HOUSE – dAY
Duke lies on his bed in the laundry room. He is not happy.
He hears FOOTSTEPS and looks through the open door into the kitchen to see Madison strut by like she owns the place.
She opens the fridge, grabs a drink, then pauses, slowly closes the door.
On the counter, next to the fridge she spies Bob’s keys and wallet.
Madison looks around, picks up the wallet, and takes some cash.
Duke is pissed. He springs to his feet, barking bloody murder.
Madison drops the wallet on the counter, spins to face Duke.
Madison
(whispering)
Shh! Shut up you stupid mutt.
Duke gets closer, still barking fiercely.
Madison panics at the sound of quick footsteps on a stairway.
Bob (O.S.)
What’s going on in there?
Madison tries to fake tears. She looks terrified.
Bob rushes into the kitchen and surveys the scene.
Duke stops barking and looks very proud of himself.
MadISON
(sobbing)
He attacked me
Duke is shocked by the accusation.
BoB
That doesn’t sound like Duke.
MaDISON
Are you calling me a liar!?
Duke
No. I am!
bOB
Of course not. It’s just –
MadISON
(between sobs)
I came in for a drink. And he, when I closed the door, he was right there growling and stalking me.
Karen rushes to Madison and hugs her.
Karen
It’s okay, honey. Mommy’s here.
(to Bob)
We can not live in fear like this.
Bob stares at Duke, despondent.
Duke
She’s lying! Her pants have been on fire since the day they moved in. You know I would never…right?
Bob sighs.
Ext. BOB’S HOUSE – night
In the backyard, away from the house, Duke has literally and figuratively in the dog house.
Bob kneels outside and rubs Duke’s head.
BOB
I’m sorry, boy. The girls just don’t feel safe around you.
Duke drops his eyes.
BOB (CONT’D)
You used to be such a good boy.
duke
(perk up)
Used to be? I’m still a good boy! They’re the bad boys, uh, girls. Please call me good boy. Please.
Bob rises and looks down at Duke sadly.
He opens his mouth to speak, then stops, turns and walks away.
LATER
Duke stares at the house. In one window appears Madison, on her cell phone, laughing. She waves to Duke and laughs more.
Duke has had enough. He watches as, one by one, the windows in the house go dark.
He stands – OUCH – bangs his head on the dog house opening.
He crouches and exits the dog house.
Duke
He’s under their witch’s spell but he’ll miss me once I’m gone. Yeah, he’ll come begging me to come home.
Defiantly he marches away from the house, towards the woods.
Ext. Woods – nIGHT
On an overcast, star-less night, Duke wanders through the dark woods. He’s spooked by the noises – owls, crunching leaves.
He settles under the cover of bush.
Just as his eyes get heavy and he seems calm enough to sleep, it starts to rain.
Ext. town – day
A sunny dawn. Duke wanders out of the woods, wet and hungry.
He follows his nose through the quiet streets to the main drag of shopping centers, gas station, and fast food restaurants.
His nose takes him to a dumpster behind a burger joint.
One of the two lids on the dumpster is open but the dumpster is too high for Duke to reach. He paces, drooling and licking his lips, as he studies the dumpster.
Desperate, he leaps against the side of the dumpster, nails scraping on metal, but barely reaches half way to the top.
He tries again. And again. Until he’s exhausted.
Sunny (O.S.)
Do you have a reservation?
Duke looks up to see Sunny, a young squirrel sitting on the top of the dumpster wall. She has a burger in her hands.
Duke stares at the burger and drools.
Sunny drops the burger to him and he gulps it down whole.
Sunny
Day old burgers. An essential part of a healthy, balanced breakfast.
Duke
I’m ready for the next part.
Sunny loses her balance and Duke sees that she has only a stub for a tail. She jumps back inside the dumpster.
Food starts flying out – fries, chicken nuggets, more burgers – and Duke catches them all in his mouth like a pro.
Later
Duke and Sunny rest beside the dumpster, both of them stuffed from their feast.
Duke
I’m stuffed.
Sunny
Hi Stuffed. I’m Sunny.
DUKE
A comedian, huh? I’m Duke.
Sunny
Ooo. I’ve been dining with royalty.
Duke chuckles.
DUKE
Yeah, lots of royalty sleep in the woods and eat from dumpsters.
Rex (o.S.)
Who’s royalty?
Sunny leaps from fear and lands on the dumpster lid, wobbly.
Three MIXED BREED DOGS approach the dumpster: REX, the short, strong, mean leader, and his smaller sycophants MORT and DAZ. This is the Bad Boys Crew.
Duke scrambles to his feet, intimidated by the newcomers.
The Crew forms a semi-circle around Duke, who has his back to the dumpster.
Sunny
You guys leave Duke alone. He just ate.
The Crew laugh.
REX
So, Duke, what are you doing on our turf, eating from our dumpster?
SunnY
I don’t see your name on it.
Rex strolls to the dumpster and scratches R-E-X onto it with his nails.
Sunny stretches her neck to see what he wrote.
SunnY
I stand corrected.
DukE
(nervous, scared)
Listen, Rex, I didn’t know.
Rex
I don’t recognize you. Where you from?
DUKE
I live on the edge of town…well, I did before last night…I’m just hanging out until my human finds me and –
REX
Oh, you’re an ‘owned’ dog? A good boy.
Mort and Daz laugh derisively at Duke.
PLACEHOLDER:
Duke explains his situation.
Rex tells him you can’t trust humans and Duke should give up hope of going home and join their Crew.
Duke thanks him but is afraid to tell him he still trusts Bob.
Rex lets him hang out with them…but he has to prove himself.
Int. BOB’S HOUSE – day
Bob holds the phone to his ear as he stares out the window at Duke’s empty dog house. Karen is behind him.
Bob
(disappointed)
Okay. If you see him, please call me right away.
Bob ends the call and puts the phone in his shirt pocket.
Karen rubs his shoulders.
Bob (CONT’D)
He’s not at the pound.
KAREN
I’m sure he’ll come back.
BoB
I hope so. He’s not an outdoor dog.
KAREN
They’re all outdoor dogs.
(softens her tone)
I mean, dogs have natural survival skills. He’ll be fine.
Madison strolls into the room, still in her pajamas.
She stretches and takes a deep breath.
Madison
Were you cleaning already, mom? It smells fresh in here.
Bobs scowls at the dig. He turns and walks away.
BoB
I’m going to look for him.
KarEN
I’ll come with you.
Ext. WoODS – DAY
The Crew walks through the woods near a road. Duke follows them with Sunny right behind him.
Duke hears a vehicle coming and runs toward the edge of the woods to check it out.
Ext. Roads – day
Bob’s pick up truck rolls down the road with woods on one side and houses on the other.
Bob drives while Karen looks out for Duke.
Her eyes lock on Duke near a bush, but in plain sight. He clearly wants to be seen.
She immediately points to the other side of the road.
Karen
What’s that over there?
Bob glances that way.
There’s an old lady walking a poodle.
Bob
Seriously, Karen?
The truck drives past Duke, leaving him disappointed.
Sunny
Was that him?
The Crew approaches, sending Sunny about six feet up a tree. She doesn’t trust these guys.
Rex
I told you. You’re better off anyway.
Ext. WoODS – night
The Crew plus Duke settle in for the night. Sunny is above them on a low branch.
Duke is sad to be spending a second night outside.
Duke
This isn’t for me. I’m going home tomorrow.
The Crew laugh and make fun of him. Make cry baby sounds.
REX
You wanna teach him a lesson? By crawling back with your tail between your legs? Ha!
Duke knows he’s right.
Daz
Just stay with us.
Mort
Yeah, you don’t need people.
SunnY
Everybody needs somebody.
Rex
One, he’ll have us for a family. And B – shut up, squirrel.
Daz and Mort laugh and howl.
duke
But, we’re…
ReX
We’re what?
DUKE
We’re supposed to be man’s best friend.
They laugh hysterically.
REX
And aren’t they supposed to be our best friend?
Daz
Does a best friend blame you for stuff you didn’t do?
Mort
Does a best friend kick you out of the house to live in rain and snow?
REX
(angrily)
Does a best friend keep you in a cage all day and force you to fight your brother for their entertainment?
Silence. All eyes on Rex.
Rex (CONT’D)
I mean, hypothetically.
Duke lowers his eyes to avoid contact with Rex’s.
DukE
Bob’s not like that. I owe him another chance. You’ll see. He’ll welcome me back with open arms.
They settle in to sleep.
Ext. TOWN – DAY
The gist of this scene:
Beginning: Duke wants to return to Bob without crawling home. Rex offers a suggestion.
Middle: Duke goes to a nice area and knocks over trash cans. He waits for the dog catcher and doesn’t try to get away.
End: Duke smiles as he’s taken to the pound. Mission accomplished.
Int. Dog pound – dAY
Duke sits in a cage, happy to be indoors and looking confident.
Squirrel sits outside on the sill of a screened window where he can speak to Duke.
DUKE
Rex’s plan worked like a charm.
Squirrel
Yeah, but why couldn’t you just come here and turn yourself in?
DUKE
(stupid pause)
The important thing is I’m here and I’ll be going home soon.
SQUIRREL
(disappointed)
That’s great. Uh, will you visit?
Dog Catcher strolls up to Duke’s cage, holding Duke’s collar and a phone.
DUKE
Shh. It’s show time.
Dog Catcher dials a phone number. He scowls at Duke.
Dog catcher
(into phone)
Yes, hello. This is the township animal control center.
(pause)
Right, the pound. We’ve got your naughty Duke here. He was caught knocking over trash cans.
(listens)
Uh huh. Oh, is that so?
Duke studies his face to get a read on the conversation.
Dog CATCHER (cONT’D)
Oh my.
(listens)
That’s terrible.
Dog Catcher gives Duke a “tsk tsk” look.
Duke is petrified.
DOG CATCHER (CONT’D)
Are you 100% sure?
(listens)
I know. It’s a difficult decision.
(listens)
Yes, I understand. Good night.
Dog Catcher shakes his head in disapproval at Duke.
DOG CATCHER
Somebody’s been a very bad boy, hasn’t he?
Duke
Bob said that? He said I’m bad?
DOG CATCHER
No need arguing. Get comfortable because you’re gonna be staying at our fine establishment indefinitely.
Duke’s expression changes from disbelief to bitterness and anger. He morphs into a bad dog before our eyes.
Int. BOB’S HOUSE – DAY
In the kitchen, Karen smirks as she puts down the phone.
Bob (O.S.)
(hollers)
Who was that?
KaREN
One of those extended car warranty calls. I wasted their time until they hung up.
BOB (O.S.)
Ha! Good girl.
-
Rebecca Jordan’s finished Act 1, Lesson 12
What I learned from this assignment that it can be done. And quickly. I’m getting faster and better at leaving things be as they are. Need some work. However, having put all the pieces together in this fashion really has set up the story so that dialogue, whether bad or good, can really flow. I’m also becoming a faster typer. Here we go. Ready to jump into Act 2!! Grateful!
__________ACT 1__________
EXT. FESTIVAL – NIGHT
Rock Concert. RACHEL, 50’s, sings Rebels, Tom Petty for their final encore. The band finishes up. Crowd cheers. THE BAND walks off the stage waving to the crowd.
EXT. BACK STAGE – CONTINUOUS
The band loads out their gear. Pop open beers from the cooler. Various: “Great show everyone.” “Awesome.” Rachel grabs a beer. Packs up her gig bag. A bandmate, 50’s, tall attractive.
BAND MATE
Hey Rach, you coming to the after party?
RACHEL
Mmmmmmm, please don’t tempt me.
BAND MATE
Just come for a while.
RACHEL
Yea right. You know me.
BAND MATE
Come on let’s hang.
RACHEL
Man! You know how i am. Once I get started…
BAND MATE
Come hang with me.
RACHEL
Promised myself I’d get some work done tonight. I’m really behind.
BAND MATE
Ah! Yes. That dang “Novel”…
RACHEL
Yes, that dang fucking “Novel”. Feels more like a tome. Next one, okay.
BAND MATE
Alrighty. You can tell me all about the book.
RACHEL
Yea.
BAND MATE
You don’t know what you’re missing.
RACHEL
Pretty sure I do, actually.
BAND MATE
Ha! Touche.
RACHEL
Later. Have fun for me.
BAND MATE
Later.
Rachel walks to her truck. Loads up. Finishes her beer and takes off waving to her band mates.
RACHEL
Don’t have too much fun with out me, fuckers!
INT. PICK UP TRUCK – CONTINUOUS
Rachel drives. Deep in thought.
EXT. FARM ARENA – DAY
1974 – Rachel,10. Riding horse, practicing barrel racing techniques. HILLARY, late 20’s, tall and beautiful, side coaches afoot from the other side of the fence.
INT. FARM ARENA – DAY/EVENING
1974. Rachel , 10, rides horse English style, with friends. They practice jumping. The kids are older and cue Rachel from the other side while passing a joint. Someone offers her a joint. She takes it but not sure what to do with it. They teach her to smoke and head out for a trail ride.
EXT. FARM, HOUSE YARD – MORNING
CLIFF, late 40’s Hillary’s much older husband; the epitome of an old school handsome cowboy. He and Rachel laugh heartily chasing and catching ducks outside the chicken coup.
INT. FARM, DINING ROOM – NIGHT
Cliff and Hillary at the dinner table.
CLIFF
Hey, how do ya like the duck, Rachel?
Rachel stops chewing, upset, she spits what’s in her mouth. They laugh. It’s not funny.
INT. FARM, DINING ROOM – CONTINUOUS
Rachel shows them her drawings of the horses.
HILLARY
Those are really good, Rachel.
CLIFF
They sure are. Can I have one of those. We’ll put it in a frame and hang it with the rest.
RACHEL
Sure. Here.
CLIFF
Thank you dear.
RACHEL
Sure.
HILLARY
You know your Mom and your Uncle Ben are both really good sketch artists. Have you seen your Uncle’s drawings.
RACHEL
Yea. He’s really good. There’s one he’s promised to give me when I grow up. The one with the soldiers from when he was in the service with my Dad. It’s a colored pencil drawing.
HILLARY
I’ve seen that one. It’s really good.
RACHEL
Yea.
HILLARY
Well those are really good, Rachel. You must have gotten their talent.
RACHEL
Thanks.
EXT. ANOTHER FARM – NIGHT
Present day. Rachel 50’s turns onto a long road that opens up to a medium sized farm with several barns and a much larger main house. She pulls up and parks her truck next to the smallest barn. Unloads the truck.
INT. BIG BARN – CONTINUOUS
There are eight horses in their stalls, four on each side. They winnie with excitement to see Rachel. She now wears a plaid button down jacket and boots.
Rachel feeds and tops off their waters.
RACHEL
How’s my big boy. Yes, I love you. And you, miss thing, how are you? Babies coming soon. So exciting.
She says hi to all and gives some love. Turns out the lights.
RACHEL
Nighty night my loves. See you in the morning.
INT. SMALL BARN – NIGHT
The barn is artsy and modest, but is nicely remodeled with an upscale DIY look. Rachel’s paintings are strategically hung with some in process on easels. The bedroom is high up in the loft.
Rachel stares at her computer.
Gets up and pours herself a Scotch and takes a hit of weed.
She looks through a box of photos where photos are strewn about, some taped to the wall. She finds some old pictures of a farm with horses and a chicken coup and cattle. A picture of Hillary and Cliff with her.
INT. APARTMENT HALLWAY – DAY
1974. Hillary and Rachel approach an apartment door. Rachel pulls her keys out.
The elevator door opens from down the hall. MOM, 28, petite blonde, with a tall lanky uniformed door man, 50’s, who rolls her in his desk chair toward the door. Her leg in a giant cast stretched all the way out in front of her.
HILLARY
Good Lord B! You didn’t mention the broken leg. What the heck?
INT. SMALL 1 BDRM APARTMENT – CONTINUOUS
Rachel already inside, sees Mom, waves and quickly runs into the apartment.
MOM
Hi Honey!
Rachel runs crying into her room and shuts the door.
MOM
Aren’t you gonna say hi to your ole’ mom?
INT. SMALL 1 BDRM APARTMENT – CONTINUOUS
HILLARY
I think the cast is a little scary for her. You could’ve given her a heads up, B. jeez.
MOM
Nonsense! She’s always so emotional.
HILLARY
B, she’s a kid. She hasn’t seen you in a long time. Like tow months. I think.
MOM
It’s not that long. She’s fine.
Earl helps Mom off the chair and onto the couch. Leaves her things on the table.
EARL
Okay Miss B. You take care now. Let me know if you need anything.
MOM
Thank you Earl. Wouldn’t have made it up with out you.
Earl waves and leaves.
HILLARY
Bye Earl. Take care.
EARL
You too Dear.
MOM
Oh, hand me my bag would ya? I’ll show you the self portraits I drew. That was my therapy in the hospital.
Hillary hands her the bag.
MOM
Rachel, come on out here honey. Wanna show you something.
Mom shows Hillary her drawings. They are dark contemporary/surreal self portraits drawn with a black marker. Rachel comes out of room hesitantly. She stands close to Hillary.
MOM
Don’t I get a hug?
Rachel, sheepishly goes to hug Mom and sits down next to her. She is sad.
MOM
Smile honey. You look miserable.
Rachel looks at Hillary. Tries to smile.
INT. SMALL BARN – CONTINUOUS
Rachel 50’s at the story board, moves pics around. Gives up. Sits. Smokes. Drinks. Closes her eyes, drifts off.
INT. SAN JUAN AIRPORT – DAY
1972. Rachel, 8, and Mom, 26 exit the walkway from the plane. Rachel’s DAD, 28, Puerto Rican, handsome, in a suit, wears security tags that represent the airline.
He waves, excited to see them.
RACHEL
Mom, which uncle is that?
MOM
That’s your Dad honey.
INT. ORD AIRPORT – DAY
1972. Mom walks Rachel to the gate to see her off.
MOM
It’ll be fun. You’ll meet your Aunt Rachel. She’s really funny. And she’s your Dad’s favorite sister.
MOM
She has three kids. I think her son is a little older than you. And her youngest daughter is a younger. You’ll get to go to the beach. It’ll be good to get to know some of your family.
RACHEL
I guess.
MOM
I’ll be right her when you get back waiting for you.
The boarding announcements over the intercom announce.
MOM
Okay honey. That’s you. Remember be polite. You get to sit in first class since your Dad works for the airline. And he knows all the stewardesses, so they’ll take good care of you.
RACHEL
Okay. Bye.
MOM
Okay bye honey. Love you.
RACHEL
Love you too.
Rachel walks enters the walkway. Looks back to wave. Mom waves back.
INT. SMALL BARN – MORNING
Rachel, 50’s, in the same sweats and t-shirt, passed out on the couch.
Phone rings. She come to slowly, has a bad hangover. Answers, puts on speaker. Goes to the kitchen area, makes coffee.
It’s Aunt NINA, 30’s, talking way too loud. Rachel turns the volume down.
AUNT NINA
Hello. I have bad news.
RACHEL
Oh no.
AUNT NINA
It’s your Uncle Ben. He’s gone.
RACHEL
…
AUNT NINA
He’s dead, Rachel.
RACHEL
Oh no.
AUNT NINA
I know. It’s horrible Rachel.
RACHEL
What happened?
AUNT NINA
It’s shocking. Everyone’s a mess. He shot himself in the head.
RACHEL
…
AUNT NINA
It’s so sad.
RACHEL
I don’t know what to say.
AUNT NINA
I know.
RACHEL
What happened?
Apparently, he got up in the middle of the night and went out to the garage and propped up the rifle and shot himself in the head.
RACHEL
Oh my god! Why?
AUNT NINA
It’s horrible. T is in shock. You should call her. Maybe wait a few days.
RACHEL
I can’t fucking believe this.
AUNT NINA
Do you know where your Mother is?
RACHEL
No. I still haven’t talked to her. or heard from her. other than the yearly birthday email. “Hi Rachel, happy birthday, love mom.” That’s it.
AUNT NINA
Jesus. She’s such an asshole.
RACHEL
It’s been at least 15, 16 years this time around.
AUNT NINA
Well, last numbers I have don’t work. I always put her in pencil.I can hardly make out the numbers from erasing so many times.
RACHEL
Well the last I heard she was in some little podunk nowhere town in West Illinois. But that was years ago. I doubt she could still be there. God, I can’t believe Uncle Ben shot himself. I never would have imagined…
AUNT NINA
I’ll see if I can find her.
RACHEL
Okay. Let me know.
AUNT NINA
Okay. Bye.
Rachel, in shock and at a loss. Tries to process.
INT. SMALL BARN – DAY
Rachel enters wearing her plaid jacket and boots. Takes them off at the door.
Rachel, 50’s, opens her computer.
Still hurting from the drink, she lights a joint, makes another cup of coffee, looks at photos.
She finds a pic of herself as a teenager sitting on the grass with her now dead Uncle Ben.
INT. DINING ROOM – DAY
1976 Easter. Rachel, 10, with family, party ensues. UNCLE BEN, 30’s, UNCLE RUSS, 40, AUNT NINA, late 30’s AUNT TARA, 30’s, YOUNG CHILDREN, at the dining table clearing dinner, drinking, laughing, carrying on. Drunk.
Mom enters the house.
MOM
Yoo hoo!!!
As she enters the DR..,
UNCLE BEN
Look what the cat dragged in.
At the dinner table AUNT TARA, Ben’s wife, 30’s, attractive, holds court.
AUNT TARA
And then the little boy took the blue ribbon and put wrapped it around his neck and tied it so tight that he started choking until his lips turned blue to match the ribbon.
Everyone is laughs except Mom.
MOM
I don’t think that’s appropriate, Auntie Tara.
AUNT TARA
We’re having fun, B. It’s a fucking joke!
RACHEL
Yea, we’re having fun. It’s just a joke, Mom.
MOM
That’s real nice. I think someone’s been spending to much time with her Aunties.
AUNT NINA
Fuck you, B!
AUNT TARA
if you don’t like it, we don’t need to take care of your kid while you’re off galavanting doing whatever.
UNCLE BEN
you’r a little late to the party Sis.
AUNT TARA
Remember last Christmas? We ended up having Rachel at our place for almost a month because you were off with some guy and wrapped the car around a tree. Or was it a bike?
UNCLE RUSS
Alright. It’s a party. Let’s drink and be merry! Bottoms up, kids.
AUNT NINA
How about when you went off with Doctor M. you were gonna get married and wound up having a nervous breakdown after going to Mount Tremblout. Broke your leg. Went to the luny bin. Rachel was three months on the farm with Hilly —
In a French accent.
MOM
It’s Mont Tremblant —
Norma cackles… walks toward the kitchen. The kids have run off to the game room and are playing.
AUNT NINA
Get it. You were both out on the farm. Poor Hillary, just married and stuck with a kid.
MOM
Well he had a bunch of kids, too, so —
UNCLE RUSS
Okay ladies. That’s enough.
AUNT TARA
No fuck you Russ. She’s your sister and you know all she does is take advantage of everyone. And then comes over here with her nose in the air.
MOM
Fine! Come on Rachel. Let’s go home.
RACHEL
I don’t wanna go home. We were —
MOM
We’re leaving. Get your coat and your stuff together.
RACHEL
No! It’s Easter. We were having fun.
MOM
Don’t you sass back at me, young lady. We’re leaving.
Rachel runs out of the room.
RACHEL
Fuck you!
Mom going after her…
MOM
Don’t you dare speak to your mother —
Russ grabs B’s arm. They struggle.
UNCLE RUSS
Alright, B. Let the kids have their fun. Get a cocktail and join the party. Try to hav fun for once in your life.
Mom pulls away. Next thing you know, Russ has Mom pinned on the floor face down with her arms behind her back kicking and screaming. Aunt T is cracking up. Uncle Ben is drunk and has kind of checked out.
UNCLE RUSS
That’s enough, little sister. You’re in my home and I won’t have it.
MOM
That’s okay. We’re not welcome here. My own brothers don’t want me around.
AUNT TARA
Now she plays the martyr.
UNCLE RUSS
Not if you’re always gonna to be a Debbie downer. And show us some fucking respect. In my home!!
Aunt Nina enters from the kitchen with a dessert platter and steps over Mom.
AUNT NINA
You got a lot of nerve B., criticizing us when we’re all practically raising your kid for you. If you don’t like it find another baby sitter.
Mom red in the face.
Aunt Nina yells…
AUNT NINA
Dessert!!! Come on! Everyone get a plate.
INT. SMALL BARN – NIGHT
Rachel 50’s, drunk, typing at computer. Stops.
Frantically searches box of pics. Dumps it on the floor. She finds a picture of a young boy, Willy, 2 yrs old. Another picture together, he’s 6, Rachel 8.
EXT. PUBLIC SCHOOL YARD – DAY
1972, Summer. Rachel, 8 yrs old, stands outside the chain link fence of a school yard. She waves at Willy,7, who runs to her excited to see her and throws his arms around her. They walk hand in hand. Stop at a park. She pushes him on a swing. They walk home. Enter a high rise apartment building.
EXT. PRIVATE SCHOOL – DAY
1972, Winter. Dad stands in front of a black limo wearing a winter coat. Woman is in the back seat. It’s snowing like a blizzard. A nun walks Rachel outside. Rachel recognizes him, runs and jumps into his arms. He swings her around. They talk for a bit and he kisses and hugs her. He gets in the car. The nun comes back out and walks Rachel back inside the school.
EXT. PUBLIC SCHOOL YARD – DAY
Rachel waits outside chain link fence. Only a couple of kids left getting picked up by parents. No little boy.
The limo drives by unseen by Rachel. She walks home.
INT. SMALL BARN – DAY
Present. Rachel, 50’s, at her computer typing with furry.
Paces. Stares at an unfinished painting.
Phone rings. It’s Aunt Nina..,
AUNT NINA
I found an address for your mother. I think it was her last place out West in P.
RACHEL
Okay.
AUNT NINA
What are you gonna do? Are you gonna try and find her?
RACHEL
I don’t know. I’ll figure something out.
AUNT NINA
You know your Mother’s an ass hole. She brings all her shit over here. Taking up half my basement. And then she just disappears.
RACHEL
I know.
AUNT NINA
My boys have moved her from place to place. And the last time was it. That was when she was leaving that fucking asshole she left Yutaka for.
RACHEL
Fucking hate that fucker.
AUNT NINA
I don’t know what she saw in that one. Anyway my boys, were like no more. Never again. Yutaka was a good man. I don’t know how she could leave him for that fuck up.
RACHEL
Yea, he was awesome. I felt sorry for him having to live with her.
RACHEL
I told you about the time when they were fighting and he locked himself in the bedroom to get away from her and he wanted to sleep. And she got the drill gun and took the hinges off the door so she could get in his face and continue fighting.
Nina cackles… they have a good laugh.
AUNT NINA
Listen, all of her shit is still in the basement. Let me know if you want any of it. I’m cleaning up down there.
RACHEL
Okay. I’ll take the good stuff.
AUNT NINA
Okay. We’ll make a date. I’ll make lunch for us. Do you have a pencil.
RACHEL
Yea, hold on… Okay.
Rachel scribbles the address on a small piece of paper.
INT. SMALL BARN – EVENING
Rachel smokes a joint. Stands at unfinished painting. Throws some paint on it violently. Reads some pages from her desk. Tears and crumples them up. Tosses into wastebasket. Screams! Crumples the paper with Moms address and throws it into the wastebasket.
She puts her boots on and grabs her jacket. Exits, slams door.
INT. BIG BARN – CONTINUOUS
Rachel feeds waters and talks to the horses. Try to work it out.
INT. SMALL BARN – MORNING
Rachel pours another cup of coffee. Moves some pics around on the wall. Stares at the wall. Lays on the couch. Lights a roach from the ashtray but immediately stubs it out.
She digs through the waste basket and finds the crunched up piece of paper with Mom’s address on it. Stares at it.
Finally opens the computer and googles the address.
RACHEL
Shit. Three and half hours. I don’t think so. Fuck that.
She looks up the nearest police department. Finds the number and calls.
RACHEL
Hi. My Mom lives there, close by and her phone seems to be disconnected and I need to reach her.
Rachel switches to speaker. And pours another cup of coffee.
OFFICER
Is this an emergency?
RACHEL
It’s kind of an emergency. Yes.
OFFICER
Okay.
RACHEL
Is there any way that you could go to her house and give her a message to call me?
OFFICER
What’s the name.
RACHEL
My name is Rachel.
OFFICER
Your Mom’s name.
RACHEL
Oh, she goes by B. B T…
OFFICER
The address.
RACHEL
Um, it’s 555 that street.
OFFICER
And what’s your number? Rachel, right?
RACHEL
Correct. My number is 222-555-1234l
OFFICER
Okay hon. We’ll see what we can do.
RACHEL
Great. Thank you so much! If you could write a little note that her daughter needs to speak with her. It’s really important.
OFFICER
And that’s it?
RACHEL
Yes. Thank you. It’s personal. So —
OFFICER
That’s okay. If nobody’s there, we’ll leave the note on the door or in her mail box. Okay? Do you want a call back from us?
RACHEL
No. That’s perfect. Thank you so so much.
OFFICER
Okay Rachel, you have yourself a nice day.
RACHEL
You as well. Thanks again.
OFFICER
Bye bye now.
RACHEL
Bye.
Rachel lights the joint again and climbs the ladder to the loft.
INT. LOFT – CONTINUOUS
She lies down in her bed. Hits the joint. stubs it out.
Stares at the ceiling until she falls asleep.
EXT. PUBLIC SCHOOL YARD – DAY
1972. Snowing. the yard is empty. Around the corner, Little boy with Dad get into the back seat of limo with a woman. The car slowly drives by Rachel who waits at the chain link fence. She turns and walks away not seeing the car.
INT. SMALL APARTMENT – DUSK
1972. Rachel home alone after school playing with barbies. Rachel answers the phone. He wasn’t there. Thought he went home with a friend.
INT. SMALL APARTMENT – NIGHT
Rachel and Mom at home in high rise apartment very late with three cops standing in a circle in their living room. Rachel crying. Mother yelling and crying. Cops talking on radio and making calls. Asking questions.
INT. AIRPLANE – NIGHT
Dad, woman and little boy on a plane. They land in Puerto Rico
INT. SMALL APARTMENT – NIGHT
Mom answers phone. Distraught, hangs up. Mom enraged yells at Rachel. Blames her. Cops settle Mom down. Rachel runs to her room, screaming.
-
This reply was modified 3 years, 3 months ago by Rebecca Jordan. Reason: Accidentally flipped some scenes
-
This reply was modified 3 years, 3 months ago by
-
What I learned from this assignment is that everything becomes easy when you have side by side your beat sheet and your outline scenes. I still have to finish some outlines but again, I’m getting better at writing scenes without worrying much about the wording length, grammar, etc. Whenever I’m tempted to stop to correct something, I force myself to move forward.
ACT 1
INT. BEDROOM – DAY – DREAM
Candlelights are scattered on the place; light white curtains blow with the wind—the sound of WAVES crash on the nearby beach.
Zoe sits comfortably on a cozy sofa in the middle of the room. She’s accompanied by a WOMAN whose face doesn’t show.
The woman explores Zoe’s body with her hands; she kisses Zoe’s skin. Their semi-naked bodies touch gently.
FRANZ (70), wrinkled face in a dark suit, stares at them with a judgmental look behind the curtain. He holds a small BIBLE in his hands and mumbles inaudible words.
Zoe and Franz’s eyes met. She tries to say something, but her voice doesn’t come out. She’s succumbed to the pleasure she has.
The woman goes down on her. With eyes semi-closed, Zoe surrenders to the pleasure; she squirms on the sofa while the man spells words to the air. Zoe grits her teeth, her breath speeds and her eyelids tremble until
INT. BEACH HOUSE – BEDROOM – DAY
Zoe wakes up with an orgasm. She omens softly, touches herself under the quilt and cringes, feeling the surreal orgasm she just had.
Zoe looks around the bedroom: two towels thrown on a chair, two backpacks left half-open in the corner of the room. A breeze stirs the curtains; the WAVES could be heard in the background.
JAMES (42), shirtless, sleeps beside her. She stares at him, lets out a deep sigh.
She reaches for her phone; it reads 6:17 AM and has a few missing calls from Paula. Zoe turns off her phone and covers her face with a pillow.
INT/EXT. JAMES CAR – DAY
James drives in silence down the mountain road; his tanned skin seems to bring out his green eyes. They listen to funky, jazzy music.
Zoe stares at him with a smirk.
JAMES
What?
ZOE
So that’s it? You won’t say a word until all the way home.
JAMES
(scoffs softly)
I’m just listening to the music.
ZOE
Okay then…
Zoe looks out over the landscape, her gaze lost among the green mountains in the distance. With her elbow resting on the car door, she brings her hand to her lips and softly bites the tip of her thumb.
James glances at her and tries to reach her hand softly, with eyes still on the road.
JAMES
Come on, don’t do this.
She slips out of his hand and scoffs.
ZOE
What? What am I doing?
Both smile, Zoe looks away again.
ZOE
You keep your eye on the road.
A moment of silence.
Zoe places her hand on her mouth again and sings softly the song playing on the radio. James taps his fingers on the steering wheel to the beat of the music. He glances at her, then at the road.
JAMES
It’s a lot to take in, sorry.
ZOE
What do you mean?
JAMES
No one has ever said this to me before.
Zoe frowns and stares at him.
ZOE
Really?
James has eyes fixed on the road.
JAMES
Yep.
Zoe twists her lips.
ZOE
Not even your girlfriend?
He frowns, scoffs.
JAMES
Girlfriend? Where did you get this from?
Zoe shrugs, scoff softly and looks away.
ZOE
I don’t know. Don’t listen to me.
A song she likes starts playing; she turns up the volume. She sings, moves with the funky rhythm; she teases him to sing, who smiles and starts singing while driving on the road by the coast.
EXT./INT. KATRINA’S HOUSE – DAY
James helps Zoe to take her backpack out of the car. Although both are smiling and everything seems okay, Zoe senses this is a farewell.
Katrina watches them from the house front window.
James hands the second bag to Zoe.
ZOE
Cheers.
She takes both bags and waits. She feels a bit tense before moving to the house.
JAMES
You be okay?
Zoe glances at the bags and scoffs.
ZOE
Yes, sure. I can handle it.
A moment of silence, both avoid eye contact. Zoe takes a deep breath. James break the silence.
JAMES
Good luck with your new project. You’ll see, everything will go well.
ZOE
Hope so.
James notices Katrina at the window, who hides. Zoe glances at her from her shoulder and scoffs.
ZOE
My goal now is to stop making mistakes. This project will help me to put my finances on track and then, freedom!
JAMES
That’s the vibe.
He comes closer. She tilts her head, twists her lips. He pulls her fringe behind her ears softly and stares at her.
JAMES
You’re a special woman.
They kiss and have a long embrace. Zoe smells his neck, she doesn’t want to let go. Holds her cry. He walks to the car.
JAMES
Okay then. I’ll give you a call.
ZOE
Thanks for the ride.
She bows.
ZOE
And for the weekend.
He laughs.
JAMES
Stop it.
He starts the engine and waves from the car. She stares him driving and talks to herself.
ZOE
Yeah, Zoe… You ruined everything.
She sighs, takes her bags and walks into the house.
INT. KATRINA’S HOUSE/LOUNGE – DAY – CONTINUOS
Katrina meets Zoe in the lounge.
KATRINA
Why he didn’t get in?
ZOE
He never got in here, Mom. Besides, I think you scared him.
She motions the window, Katrina clears her throat.
KATRINA
I just wanted make sure it was you, that’s all.
Zoe goes to the kitchen bench and look for a mail among the ones in there.
ZOE
Nothing for me this time?
KATRINA
The usual crap. NGOs asking for money. Gosh, there’re so many!
Zoe takes a few envelopes, walks to the kitchen bench and picks up an apple.
ZOE
Institutions that I’m proud of helping, Mom. They need it.
KATRINA
Who cares about dolphins in Aquariums or shark culling?
ZOE
I do, thanks.
Katrina eyes her.
KATRINA
How was the trip?
ZOE
I screwd up.
KATRINA
What happened?
Zoe stares at the apple, furrow brows.
ZOE
(sighs)
The usual. We had a good time, had fun, laughed, pretended we’re a happy couple and then–
She bites her apple.
ZOE
And then. The end.
Zoe picks her backpaks, her letters and goes to her bedroom. Katrina follows.
KATRINA
That friend of yours, Paula, came here after you.
Zoe halts, talks over her shoulder.
ZOE
What did she want?
KATRINA
(smirks)
Talk to you, I suppose.
Zoe faces her and stares Katrina.
KATRINA
I told her you had traveled with your boyfriend.
ZOE
Boyfriend? Mom, James is not my boyfriend!
Zoe stomps to her bedroom. Katrina follows.
INT. KATRINA’S HOUSE/ZOE’S BEDROOM – DAY – CONTINUOUS
Katrina enters the bedroom after Zoe, who throws her backpacks on her bad. She changes her clothes to something more comfortable.
KATRINA
So what is he? You go out with him, don’t go home for days when you’re with him and he’s not your boyfriend? So what is it? What kind of relationship is this one? It’s all about sex nowadays, is that what you’re saying?
Zoe talks without making eye contact with Katrina. She rips clothes out of her backpack, throws dirty clothes into the laundry basket. Their voice tone increase while they talk.
ZOE
Yes, Mom, it’s all about sex! I wish he was my boyfriend but he doesn’t want to!
JAMES
Why? What did you do for him not to want to be your boyfriend, to be your husband?
Zoe mumbles.
ZOE
Because he doesn’t love me.
Katrina doesn’t hear it. She coms closer.
KATRINA
What did you say?
Zoe faces Katrina.
ZOE
Because he doesn’t love me, that’s it. He doesn’t love me!
Both stare at each other for a moment. Zoe holds her cry.
KATRINA
Is this because of Paula?
Zoe clenches her teeth and take a deep breath.
ZOE
Paula doesn’t have anything to do with this, Mom. Nothing happened between us. We’re just friends.
KATRINA
Bullshit! She wants something from you, I can see in her eyes. What a woman at her age want with a girl like you if not leading you down the wrong path of committing a sin.
ZOE
A sin?
KATRINA
(preaches)
“Do not practice homosexuality, having sex with another man as with a woman. It is a detestable sin.”
ZOE
That’s enough Mom.
KATRINA
What does this woman want so much from you?
Zoe leads her mother to the door.
ZOE
Nothing, Mom! We are just friends. That’s all.
Katrina leaves and walks toward kitchen
INT. KATRINA’S HOUSE/KITCHEN – DAY – CONTINUOUS
Katrina goes to the bench where mail are placed and picks up a big yellow envelope addressed to her. She stares at it for a few seconds before open it.
She rips open the envelope and takes the contents. There’s a letter and a few pictures in it. Katrina widens her eyes at what she sees; eyes well. She puts everything back into the envelope, close her eyes and prays silently.
EXT. WINERY – DAY
It’s a sunny day. Zoe has lunch with her friend GEORGIA TERLECKAS (’40s), trans woman, well-groomed; still with minor masculine features but very feminine when she talks.
CARLOS (25), a Brazilian waiter who knows them well, serves them some bubbles.
CARLOS
Well done!
With chin up and chest out, Georgia bows as thanking him.
CARLOS
Is there anything else I can bring you before the meal?
ZOE
Nah, we’re okay, thanks, Carlos.
Carlos leaves and Georgia eyes him. Zoe teases her.
ZOE
Someone is learning Portuguese here.
GEORGIA
It’s just a word. I like words. And I like him.
Zoe looks back to see him again.
ZOE
Yeah… not too bad, but too young, Giorgie, come on.
GEORGIA
I know, but–who knows!
They raise their glasses to make a toast. A moment of silence. Zoe leans back and looks around the place. She notices Georgia watching her.
ZOE
What?
GEROGIA
Can I be judjemental?
Zoe puts her hands up like she’s surrendering herself.
GEORGIA
You can ever never say I love you to a bloke, you hear me?
ZOE
I know but–I had to say something, you know. It was like I had something in my throat that need to be taken out, expelled.
GEORGIA
Mmmm.
ZOE
We were having such a great time, I was feeling so happy, I never felt like this before. And really, we were just walking and–
GEORGIA
And…?
ZOE
And bam, I just said, I put it out.
She leans forward, Georgia does the same.
ZOE
And you know what? I felt great. I felt like a bird getting out of a cage or something. It’s weird but, you know, even though I knew he would disappear, I didn’t care, I just needed to say it out loud–and for him.
Georgia takes a sip of her wine, puts the glass on the table and claps.
GEORGIA
Honey, you did the most difficult thing that someone can do in this world. Bravo.
Zoe looks down and smiles.
ZOE
He was so quiet afterwards.
GEORGIA
Well, When you hear someone say I love you, it’s just as strong as saying it to the person, isn’t it?
ZOE
I guess so. That’s why I don’t blame me. But well, now I’m free to do whatever I want, babe.
Georgia shakes her shoulders with eyebrows up.
GEORGIA
Which means…
She mouths Paula without pronouncing a sound. Zoe sighs.
ZOE
Ahhh, I don’t know.
GEORGIA
You don’t know! I’ll tell you what, hun. She’s hot, looks like Penelope Cruz, she’s a successful woman, loaned you money to start your own business without asking you to pay her back–
ZOE
That’s the prob–
Georgia puts up her hand.
GEORGIA
Nah, nah, nah! I haven’t finished. She’s chic, and I love the way she dresses by the way. She’s Spanish, I bet she dances flamenco and she has a crush on you. What are you waiting for?
ZOE
I know but… I’m not sure if I have the guts.
Georgia frowns, twists her lips.
GEORGIA
The guts of what? Having sex with a woman?
Zoe looks around and leans forward.
ZOE
I’m confused.
GEORGIA
About what? There’s nothing wrong being gay.
ZOE
But I’m not gay.
GEORGIA
Oh yes, you’re bi. What’s wrong being a bisexual? Hello, I’m a trans woman and I am happy with that.
ZOE
I know, I didn’t mean that–But mom’s suspicious and is making my life a hell.
GEORGIA
A hell? You don’t know what it means your family making your life a hell, believe me.
Georgia gives another sip of her wine. Carlos approaches with their lunch and serves Georgia first.
CARLOS
The Barramundi with caramelised onions and veggies in a white wine sauce Georgia…
Georgia giggles.
GEORGIA
I love the way you pronounce my name.
CARLOS
And the vegan gnocci with capsicum sauce with green olives and a hint of mint for Zoe.
He checks the wine bottle, quite empty.
CARLOS
Should I bring another bottle?
GEORGIA
Why not? We’re not driving today.
They cheers. Carlos leaves.
GEORGIA
Anyway, back to the theme, you need to get out of your house, that’s what you need.
ZOE
As if it was an easy thing to do.
GEORGIA
Hun, you have to catch up on your debts ASAP and start saving money, otherwise you will live forever with your controlling mother.
ZOE
(sighs deeply)
I know. But let’s change the subject.
GEORGIA
Of course. I don’t know how can you be vegan.
ZOE
And I don’t know how can you eat plastic?
Georgia rolls her eyes, both laugh, enjoying the meal in the cozy restaurant.
EXT. CAFE – DAY
Zoe, Georgia and Paula meet. Paula encourages Zoe to start her own business and helps her financially.
Katrina watches her daughter from a distance in her car.
INT. KATRINA’S HOUSE – DAY
Katrina rages, knowing her daughter is having sex with another woman. Zoe denies. Katrina shows pictures of Zoe together with Paula—she hired a private detective to follow her and has evidence of it. Zoe keeps denying it.
TE 1: Katrina yells at Zoe between arguments showing her dominant power over the daughter
PLACEHOLDER: they argue badly, and Zoe tells Katrina that she will leave her as soon as she gets a project. Katrina reacts.
INT. PAULA’S OFFICE – DAY
Zoe accepts Paula’s help, and both make plans for Zoe’s website. They talk about their relationship and make love. Zoe gains confidence and celebrates with Georgia in a pub.
INT. KATRINA’S HOUSE – NIGHT
Katrina hears when Zoe arrives. They talk, and Katrina pretends to be calmer—she even prepared dinner for her daughter. Zoe reassures her mother that she doesn’t have anything to do with Paula; it’s only business. Everything seems to be okay between them.
INCITING INCIDENT
INT. KATRINA’S HOUSE – DINNER TABLE – DAY
Zoe and Katrina eat a lemon pie after lunch. Their plates and wine glasses are empty. Zoe picks up bits and pieces from her plate and licks her fingers. Katrina watches with a hint of a smile.
KATRINA
Did you like it?
ZOE
You know I love this pie.
Zoe picks up her spoon, takes a spoonful straight from the tray and eats it with pleasure.
ZOE
(full mouth)
The best in the world! Well, grandma’s was better, but you’re getting there.
The giggle.
KATRINA
No one beats that lady’s hands!
Someone knocks on the door. Katrina frowns.
KATRINA
Are you waiting for someone?
ZOE
Nope.
Katrina goes to the door while Zoe pours more wine on her glass. Katrina opens the door.
EXT./INT. KATRINE’S HOUSE – DOOR – DAY
CLAIRE TROUT (45), long hair tied in a ponytail, and MARK FERGUSON (50), fit for his age, wears aviator sunglasses.
CLAIRE
Mrs Muller?
KATRINA
Yes?
Claire shows their credentials from the Australian Federal Police.
CLAIRE
Detective Claire, and this is my colleague, detective Ferguson, AFP. Is Ms Zoe Muller here?
From the Zoe pokes her head from the inside, their eyes meet.
KATRINA
Is there any problem?
MARK
We need to speak with your daughter, Ma’am.
Katrina looks back to Zoe, who shrugs.
INT. KATRINA’S HOUSE – LOUNGE – DAY
Zoe, Katrina, Claire and Mark are seated around the coffee table.
CLAIRE
Miss Muller, sorry to bother you on a Saturday afternoon, but we’re running an investigation, and we need to make a few questions for you.
Clare glances at Katrina and then at Zoe.
CLAIRE
Could we speak in private?
KATRINA
(authoritative)
There’re no secrets between my daughter and me.
ZOE
Mom–
KATRINA
I’ll stay.
She stares at the investigators.
KATRINA
If you don’t mind.
Claire and Mark’s exchange looks, Mark nods. Mark turns to Zoe.
MARK
Ms Muller–
ZOE
You can call me Zoe, please.
Mark clears his throat.
MARK
Do you know Ms Paula Ortega?
Katrina reacts.
ZOE
Yes.
Zoe doesn’t look at her mother.
MARK
May I ask you what kind of relationship you both have?
ZOE
We’re friends. Good friends, why?
MARK
You made a few money transfers to her bank account. What was that for?
Katrina reacts, eyes frown, she stares at Zoe.
ZOE
She lent me some money to start my own business, and–
MARK
Your own business.
Claire puts up a hand on him.
MARK
Sorry. Go on.
ZOE
Yes, it’s been hard to find a job, so she encouraged me to start my own business. I’m an interior designer, and I just started to pay her back–
KATRINA
This is what you did with my money? You said you hadn’t taken her cash! You told me you needed to buy another bloody software!
ZOE
Mom, please!
Katrina stands up and paces around the lounge. Claire glances at her.
MARK
Are you sure this money is for your own business? It seems there’s no profit yet for you to give her money back.
KATRINA
Of course, it’s my bloody money she’s giving to that bitch.
Zoe rolls her eyes.
MARK
If your mother has money, why not ask her to help you with your business instead of Paula?
Zoe scoffs, elbows on her knees; she eyes Mark.
ZOE
Do I need to go through all my family drama to explain why?
Katrina leans against the wall, arms crossed.
KATRINA
(to Zoe)
Tell them.
Claire and Mark’s exchange looks.
ZOE
Mom, stop.
KATRINA
What? Are you scared? Why don’t you tell them what you were doing with her?
Zoe turns to her, still on the sofa.
ZOE
What do you want, mom? Do you want me to say out loud that I slept with her? Yes, I did, and it was great, but it’s finished! I broke up with her, okay? It’s finished!
Katrina mutters something and walks toward the kitchen.
CLAIRE
Zoe, do you know Juan Estigarribia?
ZOE
I have no idea.
CLAIRE
Mr Estigarribia is a drug lord from the Sinaloa Cartel in Mexico. We found out he’s in Sydney, and he has connections with Ms Ortega.
ZOE
What?
MARK
Ms Muller… How long have you and Ms Ortega been in a relationship?
Katrina comes back, narrow eyes.
ZOE
Not too long. As I said, we broke up; I don’t know anything else about her.
Mark catches an envelope out of his bag and places a few intimate photos of Zoe with Paula. Zoe’s eyes widen.
Katrina snaps the pictures and stares at them in shock, jaws dropped.
KATRINA
You told me it was only a kiss!
ZOE
What is this? This is not right! Are you following me? I didn’t do anything!
CLAIRE
Ms Muller, you must understand that Paula has connections with Juan. She is a drug dealer and a powerful one.
Zoe leans back on the couch, hands over her open moth. She mutters
ZOE
This is not happening.
MARK
Are you buying frugs from her?
ZOE
For Christ sake, no! I don’t take drugs, I don’t buy drugs, and I don’t know anything about her! Anything!
Zoe stands up and paces; tears fall from her eyes, her hand massages her forehead.
Katrina teases.
KATRINA
I knew it. I could see the evil in her eyes. That woman never convinced me.
ZOE
Mom, shut up!
Katrina steps back, wide-eyed. A moment of silence. Claire breaks the ice.
CLAIRE
We had to make sure what was your involvement with Ms Ortega, that’s all.
ZOE
So you made it, thank you. Are you happy now?
Zoe points the door to them. Both stand up.
MARK
There’s a big cargo of cocaine arriving in Sydney. Juan is behind it, and we believe Paula is helping him.
He hands her a business card.
MARK
Let us know if you hear anything about it.
They move their heads, and Claire and Mark leave the house, Katrina’s at the door.
CLOSE TO THE DOOR
Claire steps back before leaving and stares at Zoe.
CLAIRE
And Ms Muller, be careful.
They leave. Zoe crumples the card and throws it away. Katrina catches it, hidden from Zoe.
INT. KATRINA’S HOUSE – ZOE’S BEDROOM – DAY
END: Katrina rages; they have a big argument. She kicks her daughter out of the house.
—- TURNING POINT —
INT. GEORGIA’S ART STUDIO – DAY
Zoe concentrates on updating her website. She brainstorm ideas, talks to herself, write words on paper. Georgia arrives.
GEORGIA
Having fun?
Zoe sighs, drops her pen, massages her face with hands and stretches.
ZOE
I never thought it would be so difficult doing this. I hate marketing.
GEORGIA
Me too, so sorry hun, I can’t help you with it.
They laugh.
Georgia pokes her head on the screen.
GEORGIA
This is nice. I like the colors. Who did it to you?
ZOE
Excuse me! It was your friend Peter, that hot web designer that you introduced to me.
Georgia melts on her cozy couch with a sigh.
GEORGIA
Peter, Peter, Peter. It gives me goosebumps just to remember his beard on my skin.
ZOE
How can you like man with bear? Have you ever thought how many microorganisms live around his mouth? Yak.
GEORGIA
You’ve been prejudiced. Men with beard is charming.
Zoe tilts her head with narrowed eyes.
ZOE
I think the only man I thought it was charming is that guy from the Bee Gees, what’s his name?
GEORGIA
The Bee Gees? Oh girl, you’ve gone too far!
ZOE
I think is Maurice. Or Andy? Come on, he was hot.
GEORGIA
You don’t have to go that far, Hun. What about Keanu Reeves? Brad Pitt.
ZOE
Well…
The laugh and then silence, until Zoe tries to find the right voice tone for the song.
ZOE
Ah, ah, ah… Ah, ah…
Georgia follows.
GEORGIA
Ah, ah… Aaahhhh, staying alive, staying alive. Ah, ah, ah, ah…
They sing the chorus and try to imitate the Bee Gees’ voice. Both dance while seated each one at their place.
When they finish, Zoe glances at Georgia.
ZOE
Are you scared?
GEORGIA
Scared of what? Regret having taken my dick? No way, baby!
ZOE
It’s a big surgery.
GEORGIA
I know, but I’m ready for it.
ZOE
I never took the risk of having a liposuction for fear of dying on the operating table.
Georgia looks away through the window.
GEORGIA
I don’t fear death, really. I’m more afraid of growing old alone.
Zoe leans back and looks up, twists her lips.
GEORGIA
However… Do you want a more wonderful death than dying in surgery? I’ll be sleeping anyway!
They laugh.
GEORGIA
But tell me about this new client. Who is he? Does he have a beard?
ZOE
Get lost!
They laugh again. They talk but we don’t listen what it about.
INT. JUAN’S OFFICE – RECEPTION – DAY
Zoe waits in a fancy reception room. MARGARETH (’30s), impeccable dressed, brings Zoe a coffee.
ZOE
Thank you.
MARGARETH
You’re welcome. Mr Oviedo won’t take long.
Zoe nods and enjoys the aroma of coffee.
ZOE
Thank you.
She eyes Margareth back to her desk and sips the coffee. After a few minutes, Juan approaches.
JUAN
Did you like the coffee?
Zoe’s caught by surprise, didn’t see him coming. She clears her throat.
ZOE
Yes, thank you. It’s really good.
JUAN (55) wears bright clothes and a golden necklace with a crucifix on it, which enhance his tanned olive skin. His long black hair’s tied up in a ponytail, and he has a charming, strong Spanish accent.
JUAN
No one beats a Colombian coffee. Not even the Brazilians.
Zoe smiles. Juan extends his hand.
JUAN
Matias. Matias Gonzales.
(in Spanish)
Muy encantado.
Charmed, Zoe stands up and greets him.
ZOE
Nice to meet you, Mr Gonzales.
JUAN
Matias, please.
He holds her hand and stops, eyes squinted.
JUAN
Or should I say… Mat. In Australia, you like shortening names, right? You can call me Matt, then.
Juan kisses her hand softly. Zoe blushes. He mentions her to his office and walks in after her.
INT. JUAN’S OFFICE – DAY – CONTINUOUS
Juan shows his office around, which has a nice view of Darling Harbour. Zoe’s astonished by the view. He stares at her.
JUAN
Beautiful, isn’t it?
ZOE
I’m speechless. It’s the first time I’ve seen the Harbour from this point of view. You’re blessed.
JUAN
Thank you.
He motions her to sit at the meeting table. He sits at her side, both facing the beautiful view.
JUAN
My assistant found you on the internet, and I liked you, you know why?
Zoe waits with a shy smile.
JUAN
Because of the way you sell yourself, I could have hired one of those fancy architects who decorate every office in the area, but you know why I didn’t? Because all offices look the same.
Juan lets out a charming giggle.
JUAN
I like to be different. I am a migrant, am I? Why do I need to be like an Aussie when I’m not, right? And your website is unique. You are unique.
Zoe blushes.
JUAN
More coffee? Or do you prefer a bubble?
ZOE
Another coffee is fine, thanks.
Juan walks to his phone desk and orders another coffee. He comes back.
JUAN
So, Zoe. Tell me about you. How long you’ve been in this business?
ZOE
Er, I’ve been doing some projects for about four to five years. I worked for a big architecture company, but it didn’t work well… It was only recently that I decided to run my own business, you know.
JUAN
Lucky me that I found you.
Juan is too charming.
JUAN
I’ve been here in Australia for years.
He looks up, squints.
JUAN
Around ten years. It’s hard to be a migrant in this country, you know, but I managed well. I started from scratch, working as a cleaner, looking after boats here and there, until I got an opportunity, did good networking, and now I am buying and selling luxury boats worldwide.
ZOE
Luxury boats?
JUAN
Yes.
He gets up and walks toward the glassy wall facing the harbour.
JUAN
I still have a dream to sail from here to Colombia…
ZOE
It’s a big trip, I suppose. And it needs courage.
Juan squints.
JUAN
Courage?
ZOE
Well, I fear the sea. My worst nightmares are with big waves and tsunamis.
JUAN
So you’re afraid of drowning.
ZOE
I guess so.
JUAN
Sharks?
They laugh.
JUAN
Now I need to think about what I fear the most.
Margaret enters and serves the coffee. They thank her, and Juan stares at Zoe, sipping her coffee.
JUAN
Do you fancy crabs?
Zoe stops drinking and squints.
EXT. ROOFTOP – DAY
Juan takes Zoe to his preferred spot on the roof. There’s a lovely swimming pool and a fancy small restaurant. A FEMALE WAITER places Zoes’ plate in front of her: a quinoa salad with green leaves, tomatoes, boconccini cheese, and pieces of jackfruit.
Juan’s plate is a succulent rare stake, with a small portion of cooked potatoes and green salad. He eyes her plate while the waiter serves them white wine.
JUAN
Hope you don’t mind the cheese.
ZOE
I’m okay with that. It’s easy to put it aside.
(eyes his plate)
Hope you don’t mind not having your crab.
He smiles.
JUAN
Let’s say, out of respect for you, I preferred to spare you from seeing the entire body of a dead animal on my plate.
She giggles nervously, he’s too charming. Juan rises his glass, she follows.
JUAN
Salud.
ZOE
Prost.
JUAN
German?
She sips her wine.
ZOE
Mhmm. My parents, but I don’t know much apart from prost, hallo and den Mund halten.
JUAN
I don’t know what it means but it sounds beautiful.
ZOE
Being asked to shut up all the times is not a beautiful thing, I can tell.
JUAN
Where you a naughty girl?
She lowers her gaze and voice tone, focuses on her food.
ZOE
I was just a little girl.
Juan squints.
JUAN
I was a trouble maker when I was young, muy mal educado. There was a chicken coop behind my house, and I always left the gate open for them to escape. My father would get mad, beat me with his black leather belt… And even knowing I was going to be beaten, I released the chickens. I don’t know why I didn’t become a vegetarian.
He looks at the view with a lost gaze.
ZOE
What happened to your dad?
JUAN
I killed him.
She reacts, he’s serious. But only for a few seconds.
JUAN
I’m joking. He died of a heart attack four years ago… Maybe because I was too naughty.
Zoe smiles. He grabs his golden neckless and kisses the crucifix, makes a short cross signal.
JUAN
And I miss him dearly.
(pause)
What about yours?
She sighs.
ZOE
I still live with mom, yes, I know, don’t look at me like this–
JUAN
I’m not doing anything.
ZOE
But it’s a bit of my fault.
JUAN
There’s nothing wrong about still living with your mother. In fact, this is a gift for a few.
She smirks.
ZOE
Not with mom. But you’re right, I was naughty, never saved money, had lots of debts so I got stuck with her. Anyway, things are changing and soon, I’ll have my own place.
JUAN
I bet you will. But first, you’ll create a wonderful environment for my offices and home.
They toast.
JUAN
You also work with landscape, don’t you?
They get into a conversation and their voices fade. From the
SWIMING POOL BAR
VINCENT (30), a well-groomed man wearing black jeans and t-shirt, watches them attentively. He talks to someone over the phone. He gulps his shot drink and leaves.
INT. KATRINA’S HOUSE – DAY (WORKING ON)
Zoe goes home to pick up more clothes, and Katrina convinces her to stay. She says that it’s okay if Zoe loves a woman and won’t interfere in their relationship.
PLACEHOLDER: Katrina talks to the police investigators saying that Zoe’s still seeing Paula. They can set up something to put Paula in jail (and leave her daughter alone).
INT. PAULA’S HOUSE – DAY
Juan breaks in into Paula’s home. We know about their past; he wants revenge after leaving the jail, and Paula owns him money.
PLACEHOLDER: Zoe leaves Paula’s home after a loving night; Juan threatens Paula of using Zoe as bait.
—ACT 2—
-
Benito Selim’s finished Act 1
What I learned in this assignment is breaking down the acts into two parts and writing separately made the story clearer for me. It also gave me examples of how I can improve on character interaction.
ACT 1
INT. MOVING VEHICLE- NIGHT
Karen and Jeff ride along a lonely road. Jeff admits he hasn’t been trying hard enough to make the relationship work but wants to. Jeff parks the car on a lover’s lane turns out from the road.
Karen appreciates his attempts but is still troubled by something on her mind. she then admits to Jeff, she’s been distant as well since her father has now reached out to her after years of being distant.
Jeff understands their troubled relationship and vows to help her through it. Jeff exits the vehicle to use the restroom. He is killed immediately as an unknown figure stands in front of the vehicle in Karen’s sight. Karen attempts to start the car, but Jeff has the keys. She flees the car.
EXT. LONELY ROAD- CONTINUOUS
Karen runs down the road. The killer is on her heels directly behind her.
EXT. STARKOAKS- LATER
Karen enters Starkoaks and hides under a pig troff. The Killer runs past and scrambles to find Karen. Karen waits a minute then runs in the opposite direction.
INT. BARN- LATER
Karen ducts In the barn, she discovers candles and dead animals along with other remains. The killer then appears from the shadows and proceeds to kill her.
SUPER: 1 MONTH LATER
INT. DARRYL’S DORMROOM- NIGHT
Darryl dozes off while on his computer, the computer begins to act up then stops. Darryl figures he’s just tired and shuts down his computer. Darryl hears a faint voice followed by a piercing scream. He runs to his drawer and removes a bottle of pills. Darryl takes one and everything is silenced.
Darryl hears faint voices again followed by giggles, the door opens and his roommate Gary and his date stumble in.
Gary apologizes he didn’t know Darryl was there, he exits with his date. Darryl lies down as a shadow on his blank computer screen moves out of frame.
EXT. DORM DUMPSTER- DAY
Darryl and Gary take out the garbage to the dump. Darryl overhears sorority girls talking about Karen missing. She was last seen with her boyfriend (Jeff)
Darryl asks Gary if he knows them. Gary says Jeff is his frat brother, but he probably just ran off with some other chic. Gary continues he doesn’t get involved with his Frat bros drama.
The two enter the dumpster to dump the garbage, Darryl gives notice to an old 8MM camera someone threw out. He takes it despite Gary telling him it’s useless. As the two leave the dumpster, a slight wind closes the dumpster behind them.
INT. REC HALL- DAY
Darryl and Gary meet up with Marcus. A love interest Tina joins the group and speaks with Darryl briefly. Gary pushes Darryl to talk to her.
Darryl speaks with Tina reluctantly, the two sit at the table. Darryl eventually asks her out on a date. She accepts and the two set a day. Darryl is extremely happy and shares the news with his friends.
INT. STUDY ROOM- LATER
Darryl goes over details of the group’s final project with Gary and Marcus. They are joined by Calvin, Lorraine, and Andrew who are part of the crew. Darryl tells them they will be filming at Starkoaks farm.
The group is excited but unsure how they can get in. Darryl has a plan and announces they will shoot on the 8MM camera he found.
Gary and Calvin are reluctant but agree to do so. Darryl is happy he glances over to a group of sorority sisters who are handing out flyers. One of them approaches the group and gives them a flyer with Karen’s picture on it.
EXT. STARKOAKS FARM – DAY
Darryl and his friends sneak through a gate and film around the farm. They notice a dilapidated barn and enter.
INT. BARN- LATER
Marcus films what appear to be bloodstains. He sets up the camera on a tripod and sets up a light for his next shot. Darryl joins him and his foot sweeps over something in the hay. Darryl looks down to find a locket, he admires it and puts it into his pocket.
After Darryl takes the locket. Karen appears within the camera shot, but neither Darryl nor Marcus sees her. Both mention how cold it is in the barn, but when they turn in Karen’s direction; she is gone.
INT. EDIT SUIT- EVENING
Darry, Marcus, Calvin, and Lorraine edit the film when they notice a lot of jump cuts in the footage. They question each other, but no one recognizes the footage.
Karen appears on screen and is repeatedly stabbed and dies. Darryl and his friends react in shock. They begin arguing and blaming each other, the bulk comes down to Marcus.
Marcus denies any wrongdoing and the group eventually calms down.
Calvin and Lorraine inform Darryl they can remove the footage. Darryl agrees to help them but is still bothered by it. Darryl excuses himself.
EXT. COLLEGE COURTYARD- NIGHT
Darryl passes a bulletin board where several missing people flyers are posted. Darryl spaces out.
BEGIN FLASHBACK
EXT. CASE HOUSE- DAY
Darryl Age 8 plays in his front yard when a little girl names Emily enters his yard and asks if he likes to play. Darryl asks her was she hurt since she appears dirty. Emily continues to play but gives no answer.
Mrs. Case calls for Darryl to come inside. Darryl wants to tell Emily bye, but she is gone.
END FLASHBACK
Darryl continues back to his dorm. Darryl keeps looking around him, he feels as if he’s being watched.
EXT/INT. COLLEGE DORM- NIGHT
Darryl arrives at the security glass down of the dorm. Darryl enters and heads up the stairs at a fast-paced.
As the door shuts, Karen’s reflection is seen faintly.
-
Vic Valleau Lesson 12 FINISHED ACT ONE.
What I learned: Writing skeleton of story as if I were the PUPPET MASTER pulling strings of Story beat and outline really works. Starting new scene
with Story Beat (usually a change of direction from expectation), then filling it out with outline. Keeps me focused on action, not losing focus on descriptive detail.
Also easy to move scenes or whatever needs moving.
PRO:
NANCY EXPANDED INTRODUCTION.
New in town, psychic visionary. Hippie, follows her feelings.
ELEANOR (ELIE): BEST FRIEND, NEW CHARACTER: SOCIETY WOMAN, CLUBS, COUNTRY CLUBS, PHI BETA KAPPA
ANTAG:
ELTON: BEST FRIEND TO JT, too eager.
JT EXPANDED INTRODUCTION
Rigid, social, Very respectable, rich, Lawyer. Talks marriage to get laid.
ACT 1
EXT. RACE TRACK- DAY
Rapidly accelerating, two men friends in a Tesla.
We see sweep second hand of diamond Rolex against interior of Tesla.
JT: I’ll take it.
ELTON: Not for sale, it’s my baby!
INT. RESTAURANT LADIES REST ROOM- NIGHT
Nancy overhears two women talking in stalls about the BET.
Nancy looks under stalls hoping to recognize shoes. Curious, Elie watches her.
As women cycle thru, chat and wash hands, Nancy dawdles to hear more. Elie
Is nearby.
Hears talk of BET of Rolex v. Tesla for first having sex with some woman.
ELIE: Why were you flirting with my boy friend?
NANCY: Your boyfriend? You need to reign him in!
Bring down that testosterone monster. He couldn’t take his eyes off me”.
ELIE: Are you sure?. He doesn’t like hippie chicks, ok beautiful hippie chicks!!
NANCY: Forget it! Boys will be boys!
ELIE: No, somebody has to teach men respect.
NANCY: Society babe like you? What’s the plan?
INT/EXT RESTAURANT LADIES ROOM.
Nancy and Elie hidden, watch JT and Elton.
Elie: Now, what do you suppose that means?
NANCY: We hippie chicks manage out men, watch me!
INT. RESTAURANT TABLE- CONTINUOUS
JT Lays his diamond Rolex on table. Elton lays his Tesla keys on top of it.
Both women stroll past their table. Elie is offended by JT’s attention toward Nancy.
Nancy notices JT covers his hand over the watch and keys. He watches as she walks by.
She dangles her hand on him, whispers. He follows.
Eleanor stops her. They argue.
INT. LADIES ROOM- CONTINUOUS .
Believing he is invited for sex, JT kisses her passionately, pushes her into a toilet stall.
She stops him, questions: a prize for sex with her?
She negotiates: OK I’ll lie for you but we split the prize. He laughs at her.
JT: What prize?
She storms out.
ELTON BEDROOM – TESLA PARKED OUTSIDE
Too emotional to be coherent from drinks, Nancy confronts, Elton denies their BET.
Next morning: Elton claims they had sex.
She leaves, steals Tesla, drives away
INT. ELEANOR’S BEDROOM.
In bed are JT and Elie, doing detective work on the BET.
Finally, she confronts, JT denies Bet.
JT to Elie says you’re not my type. No woman who says” You’re not allowed” is not my type.
Swift, Elis swipes the Rolex, says I got what I wanted, you can go.
INT/EXT. NANCY’S APT.
Extremely anxious, Nancy tells Elie of mysterious outside surveillance.
Unknown, She is watched by detective friend of Elton.
She tells Elie she suspects something from her dark and checkered past,
EXT NANCY’S APT. NIGHT
JT and Nancy talk. She refuses to let him in.
JT: You are a nut, digging dirt, talking to old girlfriends.
NANCY: So arrest me, Mr. Lawman!
INT/ EXT. LIMO – NIGHT.
Placard on minibar says MEET YOU AT THE FOREVER LOVE MARRIAGE CHAPPEL!
Nancy slides in backseat next to Elie, plays with placard.
NANCY: So I win our bet because JT is proposing?
AS limo drives away, Elton’s tow truck tows away Tesla.
INT./EXT
Nancy jumps out of limo, runs back to Tesla but too late.
She stops the tow truck, begs, drives away Tesla, crashes it.
INT. HOSPITAL JAIL – NIGHT .
She calls lawyer JT comes to jail,
Reluctant, He MUST SIGN IN AND swear she’s his client.
Comforts her, a sobbing mess.
Assured of client secrecy, She confides her checkered history.
INT. JT APT – NIGHT
She’s afraid to go home, tells him to go back to date with Elie, so stays in his bed.
INT. ELIE APT – NIGHT
Elie slams door in JT face.
INT. JT BED – NIGHT
JT comes back to his bed with Nancy in it.
Neither can admit or talk about what happened that night.
INT. COURT – DAY
Nancy stands mute as JT enters a Not guilty plea for her.
INT. BAR – NIGHT
BEAT: JT and Elton entertains bar.
MAN: I know where you can get a crashed Tesla!
MAN #2: We see Nancy driving it and Elie wearing it!
MAN #1 You guys know how to treat your girlfriends!.
The women applaud as JT and Elton slink out.
Man #1: Hey don’t forget about the check!
INT. BRIDAL SHOP – DAY
Nancy makes a show of her interest in bridal gowns, playing to
Surveillance man outside window.
ALIE: What is going on?
NANCY: Pretend! Will you be my bridesmaid?
ALIE: Not necessary! You had sex with JT! Get over him!
NANCY: Why? I caught you dating him!
ELIE: Your call stopped him even before he romanced me!
NANCY: You were after sex? That’s it. I quit our bet. Give the watch back.
ELIE: I lost it!
-
Dana’s Finished Act I
What have I learned from this assignment?
I am learning not to be a perfectionist, constantly rewriting what I have already written. I am learning to move at a faster pace. Should I have ideas for additional scenes, I plug them into the beat sheet and the outline and then create a placeholder for them in the script to keep moving forward.
ACT I BEAT SHEET – FINAL ACT SCENES
EXT. HAMBURGER JOINT – DAY
Frank meets with his parole officer who explains the facts of life to Frank.
INT./EXT. LOCATION – DAY/NIGHT
Jack meets with his old lawyers to discuss case. But there is nothing he can offer or give him to help.
INT. LAWYER’S OFFICE – DAY
Jack enters the lion’s den – the lawyer who represented the family in the civil suit against the city – and asks for the civil lawsuit files.
INT. SECURTY BOX COMPANY – DAY
Jack retrieves his personal belongs he left in a private security box company.
INT./EXT RESTAURANT – DAY
Frank is scrubbing pits, washing dishes, stacking crates. Life is miserable.
INT. LOCATION – DAY/NIGHT
PLACEHOLDER: Jack is at his day job. Data entry, entering lots of paper into computers. It’s tedious and boring.
INT./EXT – BUS – NIGHT
Frank is alone in the buss on a hard day heading home. The bus drops him at his halfway house.
INT. JACK’S ROOM – DAY
Jack searches through the files for clues.
ACT I OUTLINE – FINAL ACT SCENES
EXT. HAMBURGER JOINT – DAY
BEGINNING: The parole agent meets with Frank away from the office to explain life to Frank.
MIDDLE: The agent tells Frank that he’s going to give half his earnings to the agent. His life is going to be hell, and if Frank makes any trouble, he goes back inside.
END: Frank says nothing. Takes the crap and leaves.
INT. LAW OFFICE – DAY
BEGINNING: Jack enters the office of the lawyer that represented the meets victim’s family in the civil suit against the city. It’s a black law firm, and everyone inside is stunned and disgusted to see Jack enter
MIDDLE: The lawyer meets Jack out of curiosity. Jack insists his innocence. That someone got to the victim in the holding cell. Lawyer doesn’t care. The evidence doesn’t prove that, so either Jack and Frank are lying, or everyone else is. Jack asks to see the civil case discovery.
END: The lawyer gives Jack the case files from the civil suit.
INT. SECURTY BOX COMPANY – DAY
BEGINNING: In a large warehouse vault, a security guard unlocks a safety depot box for Jack.
MIDDLE: The guard places the box in a private room. Jack retrieves belongings he left there. Money, two guns, passports.
END: Jack finds his detective’s badge. He studies it, thinking of past life. They he shoves it into his attaché and leaves.
INT. RESTAURANT – DAY
BEGINNING: Frank is scrubbing pots and pans, washing dishes, stacking crates.
MIDDLE: Franks stands alone outside, smoking behind the restaurant on break. He looks across at the other workers. All ex-cons wanting to kill him.
END: The owner calls them back inside. Frank puts out his cigarette and heads inside.
INT. LOCATION – DAY/NIGHT
BEGINNING: Jack sitting at a cubicle at his day job. He’s entering stacks of data into a computer.
MIDDLE: Someone drops a stack of files on his desk and moves on. Jack looks at the stack of papers, dejected but the tedium.
END: Jack sucks it up and starts entering the data.
INT./EXT. TRANSIT BUS – NIGHT
BEGINNING: Frank is alone in the bus after a hard day heading home.
MIDDLE: The bus stops him at the bus stop near halfway house.
END: Frank gets off the bus and walks to the halfway house.
INT. JACK’S ROOM – DAY
BEGINNING: Jack sits on his couch searches through the files.
MIDDLE: He’s tired but keeps going until he can’t read any more.
END: Jack gets off the couch and walks to the window, staring out at the setting sun. Another day lost.
-
What I learned from this exercise: Get the raw dimensions cut, save the finish-sanding for later. I’m leaving four out of the twelve scenes as outlines, and will work on them later. I look to be on the way to a thirty-page first act!
INT. ROOM IN TRUMP HOTEL, WASHINGTON, D.C. — DAY
A riot of law enforcement in suits. Cameras flash, samples are taken; carpet, bedsheets, clothing, blood. Fingerprint kits are more common than Covid tests. FBI Chief Investigator MELVIN TOWNES enters the room and looks for a face in the melee.
Seated on a plush chair near the window, surrounded by law enforcement, is a man in his mid-to-late-40’s, normally handsome, now his face a quivering, spasmodic mask of terror.
An investigator in sterile coveralls passes Townes carrying a plastic evidence bag. Townes stops him.
TOWNES
Is that it?
The man nods and displays the bag. In it is a thick dagger, and blood — lots of blood.
Townes nods and the investigator exits. Townes walks over to the seated man. He crouches next to the chair to be close to eye level.
TOWNES
Mr. President? President Munson?
The seated man stares ahead, unaware. Townes rises and addresses the ring of men around him.
TOWNES
Who the hell’s in charge here?
One of them points to a man near the bed. Townes zeroes in on him. The bed frame is typical Trump: gold-plated, carved and ostentatious to the point of gaudiness. CSI surrounding it block the view of the mattress.
TOWNES
You Hanks?
ROLAND HANKS, Secret Service detail assigned to the First Family, nods.
TOWNES
Your men leave their posts?
HANKS
No. Not for a minute.
TOWNES
How could anyone have gotten into the room?
HANKS
I don’t know.
TOWNES
What does the security camera footage show?
HANKS
It doesn’t show anyone. I don’t know.
Townes darkens impatiently.
TOWNES
Who has the footage right now?
HANKS
I don’t know.
TOWNES
Are you Secret Service Agent Roland Hanks?
HANKS
Yes.
TOWNES
You’re in charge of the special detail here?
HANKS
Yes.
Townes’s body language is complete exasperation.
TOWNES
Well, then, Secret Service Agent Roland
Hanks, in charge of the President’s security
detail, you tell me how…
Hanks shakes his head.
TOWNES
If all your agents were posted, and all
security precautions were in force, and
all of the security cameras were
working…
He points between two of the CSI men surrounding the bed.
TOWNES
And no one went in or out of the room —
how the hell…
A woman’s body on the bed, blood all around, stabbed multiple times, the face mutilated almost beyond recognition.
TOWNES
Does that happen to the First Lady
of the United States of America?
Hanks droops. He looks over at the President, sitting in the overstuffed chair, lost in his own mind, shivering — staring at the blood all over his hands and shirt cuffs.
INT. OLIVIA’S APARTMENT — NIGHT
JASON, 28, bronzed and buffed, climaxes atop a woman in bed, then rolls off to the side. After a few moments of heavy breathing, OLIVIA THURMOND, a woman who looks even sexier wearing glasses, looks at her cell phone.
OLIVIA
It’s two o’clock.
JASON
Yeaaahhh.
OLIVIA
You’d better skedaddle.
Jason turns over to her, fondles her a little.
JASON
Don’t you want to enjoy the
afterglow? Cuddle a little while?
OLIVIA
It’s late. I can’t afford to have you
here all night.
JASON
How about I stay the night for
once? We can have another go
before you leave for work.
Olivia takes his hand from her breast and throws it away from her. She pushes Jason out of the bed with her feet.
OLIVIA
I have to be up early tomorrow.
JASON
You mean today.
OLIVIA
Out.
She succeeds. He falls out of the bed, dragging the covers with him.
JASON
Look, I know you’re the high-
and-mighty girl in the psychiatric
office, but that doesn’t mean you
rule the world. Why don’t you
ever ask me to stay the night?
Olivia reaches for her purse.
OLIVIA
First, because I don’t want a man
thinking he owns me. I have zero
emotional attachments, and I like
it that way.
She pulls out a wad of Ben Franklins and counts some out.
JASON
That’s not fair.
OLIVIA
Second, because you charge more
per hour than I do. I can’t afford
an all-nighter.
Jason slips his jeans on.
JASON
Okay, let’s forget the charges for the
rest of the night. The sex is great, right?
Olivia hands him four hundred-dollar bills.
OLIVIA
And third, you don’t get paid for the
sex, you get paid to leave afterwards.
Capiche?
He tucks his shirt in.
JASON
You are one tough broad.
OLIVIA
I’d like my covers back on the bed, please.
Jason obeys.
OLIVIA
Good. Now, run along. I’ll call you some
time next week.
Jason grabs his shoes and leaves. After the front door latches, Olivia exhales. She finds his name in her phone and deletes it.
INT. COURT ROOM — DAY
BEGINNING: Olivia testifies in court that she has examined the arresting officer, and placed him under hypnosis, where he confessed to not having been able to see inside the store at the time of the robbery as he had stated in his report.
MIDDLE: Olivia is cross-examined. She wrecks the prosecutor’s line of attack.
END: Olivia leaves the courtroom. An FBI agent approaches her and asks if she could take a few hours to interview someone for them.
INT. POLICE INTERROGATION ROOM — DAY
BEGINNING: Olivia hypnotizes the suspect.
MIDDLE: Under hypnosis, the suspect’s story falls apart. He’s just an unstable guy looking for his fifteen minutes of fame.
END: After she leaves, Townes and Bowen debate if she’s qualified.
INT. OLIVIA’S APARTMENT — DAY
Olivia enters her apartment with purse and take-out food. She kicks off her shoes, drops her purse near the door, and unbuttons her blouse while setting down the take-out on the dining table. The TV remote is on the table; she picks it up, flicks it in the direction of the tube. TV lights up, and Olivia slips behind the kitchen counter, grabs a wine glass from the rack and sets it down upright. She leans her head into the fridge for a bottle of Burgundy and the news of the First Lady comes on.
Olivia takes the bottle out of the fridge and pops the cork. Spotting the news through the counter opening,, she flips a channel with the remote while filling a glass. Still news. She taps the remote again. Same story. She draws a big slug of wine, a third of the pour. Some of the wine trickles down from the corners of her mouth, and she lets it, rolling the cold glass over her cleavage. Once more with the remote. Same picture; an ambulance being unloaded at NIH. Is the remote broken?
She shakes it and goes to the dining table to try from shorter range.
Olivia notices the chyron on the screen: First Lady Murdered — Suspect In Custody — F.B.I. Agent Townes has “No Comment” —
OLIVIA
What the fuck?
NEWS ANCHOR (O.S.)
… have arrested a young man of _____
descent, as yet unidentified, but we
believe this footage to be of the suspect…
The volume recedes as Olivia realizes it’s the man she hypnotized for Towne and Bowen. Her throat tightens and catches.
EXT. WHITE HOUSE — DAY
BEGINNING: Davies gives a rundown of the time and place of the First Lady’s murder.
MIDDLE: Reporters throw questions at him from all directions. Finally, the Fox Noise reporter asks if the 25th Amendment has been invoked.
END: Davies states that President Munson is strong and calm, though shaken, and the 25th Amendment is not on the table.
INT. OLIVIA’S APARTMENT — DAY
BEGINNING: Bowen calls. He tells her Davies asked him to call her, and Olivia says she’s not interested. She doesn’t want to see Davies.
MIDDLE: Bowen says that Townes and he witnessed her hypnotize the suspect and that they would like her to work on a special case. It would be top-secret. Olivia scoffs.
END: Bowen asks her to meet him on the National Mall, near the Washington Monument. She tells him if she sees Davies, she’ll walk.
EXT. NATIONAL MALL — DAY
Olivia sits on a park bench, every muscle tense. Bowen drops a bag of fast food next to her. She flinches and gasps.
BOWEN
Hey, I know it’s probably not what you’re
used to, but I’m on a budget.
Olivia recovers.
OLIVIA
It’s, uh — exactly what I’m used to. I really
don’t make as much as you think.
BOWEN
Well, good, because the government doesn’t
pay much.
OLIVIA
I haven’t said yes. Why didn’t
you tell me about the First Lady?
BOWEN
We wanted you unvarnished, unbiased. It
was Townes’ idea, actually. Was it wrong?
Did you eat on the way?
Olivia breaks out of her haze. She opens the bag, pulls out the burger, drink, and fries. They eat.
OLIVIA
No, it probably wasn’t. I might have
done the same thing in your place.
BOWEN
Great minds think alike.
Olivia turns like a surprised cat.
OLIVIA
I’m not great. I wrote a book.
BOWEN
You developed a technique. And it
seems to work. We need you to treat
the President.
OLIVIA
Wait, all I did was question a suspect.
Bowen almost whispers.
BOWEN
The President is a suspect.
Olivia’s eyes pop.
BOWEN
I’m taking a big chance talking to you
like this. Townes and C.I.A. probably
have half a dozen mics and cameras
on us right now.
OLIVIA
Are you people that paranoid?
BOWEN
We have to be. Try the fries.
Olivia shakes her head and opens the fries bag. There’s a note written on the inside: “He had the knife in his bloody hands.”
BOWEN
Look, we need to get President
Munson in therapy. He’s been through
a heel of a shock, and he reminds me
of a lot of vets I know with PTSD.
OLIVIA
It would be highly unusual if he didn’t.
BOWEN
He’s a highly unusual man.
OLIVIA
He’d have to be.
BOWEN
That’s right. And he needs an unusual
therapist. We’ve got to get him back in
the saddle before others realize he’s
hanging on by the skin of his teeth.
OLIVIA
You’re mixing your metaphors. I don’t
think I’m the right one to do this. I haven’t
any political expertise, and the technique
isn’t foolproof. I might screw him up
worse.
Bowen leans back, chews his burger like it’s his last.
OLIVIA
I might screw him up worse. Have you
thought of that? Shouldn’t you try the
people at NIH first?
BOWEN
We did. The problem is, they all have
their own biases. They can’t even agree
on a plan of action.
OLIVIA
Then get someone outside who has lots
of experience in PTSD.
BOWEN
Anyone you care to recommend?
OLIVIA
Find my father. I haven’t spoken to him
in years, but he’d be the right man for
the job.
BOWEN
I had him in mind. Take a ride with me.
Bowen rises and waves. A car pulls up to the curb nearby.
OLIVIA
I don’t want to see him.
BOWEN
You won’t have to.
Bowen extends his hand to help her up.
EXT. ARLINGTON CEMETERY — DAY
Bowen and Olivia stand over a grave. It reads “Dr. Theobold Thurmond” and is dated two years ago.
OLIVIA
He was a brilliant man.
BOWEN
I expect so. Graduate of Johns Hopkins,
MA at Stanford, PhD at Harvard. Returned
to teach at Stanford, became head of the
Psychiatric Department and got a second
PhD in Political Science. Taught you, until
you transferred.
OLIVIA
We had a falling out.
BOWEN
I know. What I don’t know is why?
OLIVIA
He could be — emotionally abusive.
Once she discovered he was cheating
with a coed, and she went to his office
in a rage. His name was on the door in
those brass letters they used to use.
BOWEN
We still have some of those in the White
House.
OLIVIA
She broke every one of her nails off trying
to rip those letters off the door. He wasn’t
even there. I tried to get her to leave him,
but she couldn’t. There wasn’t anything
anyone could do.
BOWEN
That must have left some scars.
OLIVIA
A few. I couldn’t live with it anymore. So I transferred to Yale. I wanted to be as far
away from him as I could get.
BOWEN
I’m sorry. For you and your mother, both.
Olivia lifts her eyes from the gravestone.
OLIVIA
Take me home, please.
Bowen offers his hand and leads her away from the grave.
INT. OLIVIA’S APARTMENT — NIGHT
Olivia opens her apartment door and freezes. A man, WILL DAVIES, 45, well-groomed and manicured, is sitting at her dining table. Olivia recovers, goes through her normal routine at the. door, and walks to the bedroom.
OLIVIA
Most people knock before they enter
someone else’s home, you know.
Davies raps the table twice.
DAVIES
Knock, knock.
He rises, follows her to the bedroom, and leans against the door frame.
DAVIES
I was afraid you wouldn’t let me in.
OLIVIA
You’re not afraid of anything. You take
whatever you want, you use whoever
you want.
Olivia undresses, slips into Spandex and a robe.
DAVIES
I’m taking quite a risk coming here.
OLIVIA
You mean breaking and entering?
Yeah, big risk. I could call the cops.
DAVIES
Not unless you want them to know I
watched you undress and you let me.
OLIVIA
There, that’s the old Will Davies I knew
and loved. The great manipulator.
DAVIES
I’m not here for that.
OLIVIA
You’re here to offer an apology?
Accepted. Now get out.
Davies pulls out his cellular.
DAVIES
I need you to see this.
OLIVIA
What is it, old porno movies of us?
DAVIES
It’s a nation in crisis.
OLIVIA
How romantic.
Davies grabs her arm. She yanks it away.
OLIVIA
I’m not yours to drag around any more.
DAVIES
I’m serious. Look.
Davies holds up the phone. The video shows Munson, soon after his wife was discovered. He’s a shrinking, quivering lump of Jello in an armchair. Covered with his wife’s blood. Holding the knife.
Olivia takes on her “professional look”. She takes the phone from him, watches the action as the FBI and Secret Service mill about the room.
OLIVIA
Should you be showing me this?
DAVIES
No.
OLIVIA
Who recorded this?
DAVIES
I did. No one else has seen it.
There’s a long shot of Munson. He’s totally withdrawn, unresponsive as investigators rain questions down on him like a press conference.
OLIVIA
He’s in shock.
DAVIES
Go to the next video.
Olivia obeys. Munson at a cabinet meeting, railing at some of the cabinet officials.
DAVIES
He jumps down people’s throats, or
shuts down. there’s no in-between.
OLIVIA
Classic PTSD. You don’t need me, you
need a therapist who handles vets coming
back from Iraq.
DAVIES
We can’t get him to talk to any of the
therapists. He clams up.
OLIVIA
You want me to interfere with politics?
DAVIES
I want you to help. Some of the Cabinet
are already talking about the 25th
Amendment.
Olivia tosses his phone back.
OLIVIA
Vice-President. Speaker. Senate Majority
Leader. Secretary of State. Isn’t that the
list?
DAVIES
You know the Vice President was chosen
for gender and multi-racial appeal. She
didn’t even have one full year in the Senate.
She’s way too green to handle the job, even
without international emergencies. Russia is
massing troops on the Khazak border, and
China is enveloping Taiwan with a fleet. They
know how vulnerable we are. I’ve got the
Russians cowed for the moment with economic
threats, but the Chinese aren’t going to listen for
long.
OLIVIA
Try something different — like diplomacy.
DAVIES
It’s all going to collapse without a real
President. And Munson isn’t that now.
We need someone in charge who can
control people.
OLIVIA
I know someone just like that.
DAVIES
Alright. My turn’s in two years. He’ll endorse
me when the time comes. Right now, the country needs a functioning President. Look at all the
good he’s done. Climate action. Infrastructure. Renewables. Population control, for Chrissake.
He’s gotten things done nobody else would
even dream of trying to do.
OLIVIA
Every one of them a corporate giveaway.
DAVIES
He knows how to push, he knows how to compromise. He gets things done. This world
needs Daniel Munson. The fucking plant will
go under if he doesn’t get back in form. We
need you to fix him.
Olivia leans against a wall, closes her eyes. A tear peeks out from an eye.
OLIVIA
Will, I’m not capable of doing this.
DAVIES
Your technique looks good to Bowen.
OLIVIA
It was ridiculed by every other psychiatrist
in the country. I don’t even use it except when
asked. The book was a worst-seller.
Davies strokes her hair, gives her a shoulder. He pets her, reassures her, draws her close.
DAVIES
Townes and Bowen have confidence in
you. So do I. We need you.
Her arms wrap around him. He whispers.
DAVIES
I need you, too.
Olivia pushes him off, but he’s stronger. She relents. he holds her head to his chest.
OLIVIA
This is exactly what I didn’t want.
Davies’ hands drift down to her neck. Olivia shudders. He draws her face to him. Her robe falls open.
INT. OLIVIA’S APARTMENT — MORNING
Olivia sits up in bed suddenly, gasping for air. Davies is gone. Olivia looks around, as if unsure where she is and what has happened.
OLIVIA
No, please, no.
She pulls back the sheets and sees the stains on the bed.
OLIVIA
Oh my god.
She rushes to the toilet, kneels down, and vomits.
After a minute, she rises, washes her face, dries off, and goes into the kitchen. She brews coffee, finds the remote, snaps on the TV, muted. Scenes of funeral preparations. She flips to MSNBC and volumes up.
MSNBC ANCHOR
…and we wish President Munson,
his family, and the First Lady’s
family, all the best during this disastrous
time of their lives.
Olivia flips to CNN. White House steps. The President’s daughter gets out of a limo and rushes to him.
CNN ANCHOR
…now, the question is, should the
Vice President take charge until he can
get back to some semblance of normal.
Olivia presses buttons. Fox Noise.
FOX ANCHOR
… the Twenty-fifth Amendment. Munson
has proven himself a complete incompetent
over the last five years, and now he’s falling
apart.
FOX BLONDE
Well, our thoughts and prayers go out to
the First Lady’s family, but the President
needs to be replaced and quickly.
FOX ANCHOR
And not by a wet-behind -the-ears Vice
president, either. The Speaker of the House
should immediately be put in charge.
Olivia hits the “off” button and shakes her head while pouring her coffee.
OLIVIA
Not my circus; not my monkey.
Stirring in the cream, she sits at the dining table and finds a note. All it says is “Please! I need you!” She crumples the paper and throws it away. She shivers, empties her coffee in one long gulp, and heads to the shower.
INT. OLIVIA’S OFFICE — DAY
Olivia sits behind her desk. A female patient occupies the couch.
FEMALE PATIENT
I suppose I shouldn’t complain too
much about him controlling me. It’s not
like I’m the First Lady.
Olivia sits up.
OLIVIA
How do you mean?
FEMALE PATIENT
Well, isn’t it obvious? Her husband killed
her, that terrible man. He’s wrecked the
country, and when she tried to stop him, he
stabbed her.
Olivia jumps out of her chair.
OLIVIA
Okay, well, that’s good enough for
today. Let’s see you next week, alright?
FEMALE PATIENT
I thought I had an hour.
Olivia helps her up. The Female Patient puts on her shoes.
OLIVIA
Normally, but I have an emergency
engagement today. I just wanted to get
some things clarified with you.
FEMALE PATIENT
But you haven’t clarified anything.
Olivia guides her to the door and out to reception room.
OLIVIA
No, I mean you clarified things for me.
Good job today. ext week, same time,
for a full hour.
She hustles the Female Patient out the door. Another patient looks up from a chair, anticipating an early start. Olivia goes to her receptionist and leans over to her ear.
OLIVA
Tell him I have an emergency. Cancel
all the afternoon appointments.
The receptionist nods and steps over to the patient while Olivia returns to her therapy office, closing the door.
Olivia opens her bottom desk drawer. From it she pulls out a selfie Davies took of them, in a bed, Olivia trying to cover herself with the sheet, both of them laughing. Olivia closes her eyes and leans back in the chair. She draws several long, calming breaths.
OLIVIA
Hell.
She punches an open phone line and dials.
-
Katherine Bennett-Greer Finished Act I
What I learned from doing this assignment is that as the story flowed (easily), I was thrown off by trying to gauge how the story fit into the story elements (Acts, Turning Points, etc.). I found that the story flowed in the correct order and with the correct elements, building my confidence. That, coupled with the draft writing focus on 20%, and this process is coming along very well. I am behind because I’ve been getting over a virus, but even so, this process is producing great results.
Act I is written and no outline addition is needed. Moving on!
-
Lori’s Finished Act I
What I learned from this assignment is to keep empowering myself and keep moving forward without being critical of my first draft.
Added scene:
INT. CHURCH – DAY
Beginning – Thomas is still struggling to write his Christmas sermon.
Middle – Thomas is asked to help with play practice.
End – Thomas is left speechless when a little girl accuses him of not liking Christmas.
INT. CHURCH – DAY
Thomas is once again sitting at his desk and staring at a blank yellow legal pad.
The door flies open, startling Thomas.
SHIRLEY
Oh, sorry,…
SHIRLEY is a tiny older woman who is high-wired and ready to spring. KNOCKS on the already open door.
Thomas raises his eyebrows to question.
SHIRLEY
I’m sorry for the intrusion, Pastor Thomas. George is home sick, and we need someone to fill in for the play practice. I figured you already knew the lines, and maybe might could.
THOMAS
Surely you can practice without someone sitting in. You could just read his parts.
SHIRLEY
I think that would be confusing to the children.
Thomas stares at her.
SHIRLEY
It would mean a great deal…
THOMAS
Okay, okay, I’ll be right there.
Shirley gives a smile and nods and hurries out of the office.
Thomas SIGHS.
INT. CHURCH AUDITORIUM – DAY
The small stage in front of the church is set up like a family room decorated at Christmas. The “family” consists of Thomas as the father, a “mother,” and two “children.” All are in their Sunday bests. It’s a warm, idyllic scene for the perfect Christmas.
Thomas sits in a rocking chair beside a decorated tree. The two children sit in front of him as the mother stands to the side and smiles down on them.
THOMAS
(reading lines)
So, children. What is your favorite part of Christmas?
BOY
The presents!
Thomas LAUGHS.
THOMAS
I like presents too, but that isn’t what Christmas is all about.
GIRL
But didn’t people bring presents to baby Jesus?
Thomas looks confused and studies the lines.
THOMAS
That’s not your line, Sweety.
GIRL
But didn’t they.
THOMAS
Yes.
GIRL
I like decorating cookies.
THOMAS
Me too.
GIRL
That’s not your line.
Thomas is getting agitated and SIGHS.
GIRL
You don’t like Christmas. Do you?
Thomas is speechless.
Log in to reply.