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Post Day 12 Assignment Here
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9 Replies
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Brenda Lynn’s Level 3 Action Emotions
What I learned doing this assignment is that it is difficult to keep my heart rate steady while writing these scenes. I find that I even type faster as the action plays out. These three are interconnected (i.e., when you’ve got danger, there’s some excitement and adrenaline, etc.) What an adventure putting this scene together.
3. Write the scene as a first draft, highlighting danger, excitement, and adrenaline.
INT. WAREHOUSE – DAY
She walks across a beam high up in the air. Almost to the ceiling. Marcus’ goon follows her out there. She does a backflip on the beam, kicking him in the face. He falls to his death.
In that brief moment, she runs to the edge of beam and disappears into the ceiling. Marcus and goons fire guns up at her, but the bullets ricochet off of the ceiling and back down into the shooters, striking one of them in the shoulder
They have to find another way to get at her. Marcus sees a fire escape outside of the building. He sends his goons outside to climb up.
EXT. WAREHOUSE – CONTINOUS
They
go outside to the fire escape. Marcus drops the ladder down. By design, for
safety reasons the ladder doesn’t go to the ground. Marcus is going to have to
climb the building himself.EXT. ROOFTOP – CONTINUOUS
Marcus gets to the rooftop and confronts Lisa. She kicks the gun out of his
hand, but he is quick enough to grab her foot. He won’t let go.She struggles to get away. He is about to clock her in her beautiful face, but
hesitates because of his emotions, the ache of betrayal.Taking advantage of the moment, she kicks him in the groin hard. And runs to
the other side of the building.She’s looking up at the sky with the FBI helicopter flies over. Thinking they
are there to rescue her, they begin shooting at both she and Marcus.He runs up behind her.
MARCUS
Nobody likes betrayal.He picks her up to hurl her over the building. Gets shot in the shoulder. He
tumbles and falls over the side of the building to his death.Lisa has flipped over the side of the building, but hangs on with all of her
strength.Thinking that both of them are dead, FBI helicopter flies away just as the
ground crew arrives below.Another helicopter raises up beside the building and lands on top.
Lisa hoists herself to the rooftop. Grabbing a portfolio she had hidden on the
rooftop, she hops into the helicopter. It lifts up and flies off in the
opposite direction of the FBI helicopter. They are not on the same team. -
Cameron Martin’s Level 3 Action Emotions
What I learned doing this assignment is…to keep the audience guessing. It should never feel like a video game (Looking at you Hobbit Trilogy) where the physics aren’t grounded or the hero casuals his way through the opposition. Rather always brings something new to the table; a new conflict or impossible odds followed by a solution that is built on what came before, and hopefully that solution is related to the story’s themes. The sparring match between Morpheus and Neo is, in my opinion, the pinnacle of this, as the fight showcases Neo’s new and amazing skills…that are ultimately useless against Morpheus. The only way through is to come to a higher awareness, which is the whole point of the movie. Later, the fight between Neo and Agent Smith takes this further: the stakes are drastically increased, and the options are death or self-actualization. My scene needs a lot more work to hit that thematic point, and isn’t finished (Didn’t realize I was going to be writing in excess of 5-7 pages). But I believe it hits the mark with Adrenaline, Danger, and Excitement with where it is right now, and I can’t wait to get back in it.
EXT. ARENA – DAY
Huge, taking up what was once three city blocks, with the ruins of a large church in the center, cradling the prize – A glowing blue light attached to a cybernetic voice box.
On the outer edge is a makeshift racetrack, with obstacles like burning car frames, street signs aimed at an angle, etc.
Seats outline the arena space between old skyscrapers ruins, with large screens on the sides of said buildings.
COPY looks up in awe of the spectacle, along with other arena contestants, while JANUS appears only slightly amused.
COPY – “Have you seen anything like this?”
JANUS – “You’re me, right?”
COPY – “Only in the form of memories. This is the first time I’m seeing this.”
JANUS takes a moment, considering her COPY’s words.
JANUS – “It makes me a little homesick.”
A buzzer sounds off to the right of the contestants.
JANUS and her COPY watch as CALVEX and couple dozen more runners are wheeled onto the track.
The screens show closeups of the runners.
JANUS and her COPY observe the myriad of mechanical attachments to the runners.
COPY – “What did they do to them?”
ARENA SEATS
The people roar and cheer. The screens show a massive augmented man making his way to a throne. He’s almost completely machine, with only his head showing as human. He grips a massive seven foot battle axe.
The audience screams the chant, “Alrick! Alrick! Alrick!”
Another cyborg, RYKER, wheels up beside him. His lower have is a single leg with a motorcycle wheel.
ALRICK/ARENA THRONE
ALRICK takes his seat with a big smile and waves.
RYKER – “Everything is in place, my king.”
ALRICK “A perfect day for a slaughter! Wouldn’t you agree, Ryker?”
RYKER – “I would still like to say we’ve never held anything this big before.”
ALRICK – “You’re telling me! It’s not every day we get a “guardian angel” in the pit.”
RYKER – “We don’t know what they’re capable of.”
ALRICK – “I know! I can hardly wait!”
RYKER – “Alrick—“
ALRICK’s smile disappears.
ALRICK (Cold) – “Human’s have been evolving for a millennia. Let’s see what we’re up against.”
RYKER rides up to a mike.
ARENA FLOOR
JANUS and COPY watch with the other contestants.
RYKER AT THE MICROPHONE
RYKER (Dramatic) – “Mankind!”
The audience cheers.
RYKER (CONT’D) – “We have a special gift for you today! First, there’s the matter of the draft deserter, Calvex. A legend of his people – One they call, “The Giant Tamer!” We’re gonna kill him today in our world famous—“
The audience cheers and shouts the same words with RYKER.
RYKER (CONT’D) – “Rough and tumbling, shish-kabob-ing, blood splattering, and most importantly, electrifying, LIGHTNING RUN!”
The audience goes wild.
RYKER waits a moment, before motioning to calm the audience back down.
RYKER – “And second, but most certainly not less important, we have the most welcome surprise for you today. I have to ask you, people of the human race, what do you think of Adam?”
Boos erupt all around.
RYKER – “I thought so. In that case, child of Adam…”
The screens show JANUS. Voices of rage roar in deafening fashion.
RYKER (Motioning) – “This one’s for you.”
ARENA FLOOR
The ground shakes as three massive trap doors slide open. Roars from underneath echo through the arena.
A robotic tiger leaps out of its trap door, but is held back by a chain.
Next, a robotic bull trots out, spikes all over its tank-like body, also held back.
Finally, the biggest lumbers out. A massive two-headed robotic dragon bellows streams of napalm into the air.
JANUS – “I’ll take it.”
COPY – “Have you ever possessed anything that big?”
Beat.
JANUS – “It’ll be fun.”
RYKER
Raising his hand.
JANUS AND COPY
Stand ready, back to back, surrounded by other gladiators and mechanical monsters.
CALVEX
Watches through his cage, trying to catch his breath.
RYKER
Drops his hand.
THE ARENA TRACK
The cages burst open! CALVEX and the other prisoners bolt forward into a sprint. The electric current from the attachments work in a synchronized motion, convulsing the muscles in the legs to run.
One runner falls flat, losing his balance. His muscles continue spasming, trying to run, while he’s trampled by the other runners.
JANUS AND COPY
Spit up.
JANUS takes on the robotic bull.
COPY charges the tiger.
The other gladiators go after JANUS, eager.
Carnage and mayhem decorate the arena as contestants are maimed and skewered by either the obstacle course of the track, the mechanical beasts, or the other gladiators.
JANUS and her COPY barely hold their own, working together and using every trick they can remember to overcome the opposition – dodging weapons, napalm, teeth…
THE ARENA TRACK
Splat! A runner slams into a car, leaving him convulsing on the ground, the implants still stimulating his muscles, even after death.
Another runner runs into and all the way down a pike.
CALVEX, in agony, fights the input his muscles are receiving to duck a street sign, missing it by centimeters.
Another runner, just behind him, doesn’t react fast enough…
THE AUDIENCE
Reacts to the gruesome sight.
RYKER AND ALRICK
Watch the spectacle.
ALRICK – “I love this game!”
THE ARENA TRACK
JANUS charges in with the bull, trampling and knocking away the obstacles.
She finds CALVEX.
JANUS reaches with a spear.
CALVEX catches it.
JANUS lifts him up. CALVEX continues running in mid-air.
CALVEX’s leg stabs itself on one of the bull’s spikes. He cries out but no sound escapes.
JANUS stabs her cables into CALVEX’s implants, shutting them down.
CALVEX lays limp, exhausted. JANUS holds him in one arm.
RYKER AND ALRICK
Watch.
ALRICK, filled with hatred, stands up.
His battle axe shape-shifts into a spear. It’s made up of nano bots!
He aims…
JANUS AND CALVEX
Ride away from the track.
The spear hits JANUS like a truck, knocking her from the bull and impaling her. Her cords that were attached to the bull are ripped from her arm.
JANUS comes to for just a moment, her hands clutching the black rod running through her, with her blood pouring down the shaft.
Suddenly, the spear reverses in the opposite direction, throwing JANUS back several feet, returning to…
ALRICK
Catching the spear with a smile.
JANUS
Crawls, choking, toward the now rampaging bull, with CALVEX holding on for dear life.
Her COPY dashes toward her.
The bull charges her.
JANUS readies herself.
The bull reaches her first, but JANUS stabs it with the cords on her other arm, stopping it in its tracks.
A moment.
The bull collapses, dead.
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Rebecca’s Level 3 Action Emotions
What I learned from this assignment is that by balancing Adrenile, Excitement, and Fear along with Danger and Relief you can increase the engagement into the story and provoke emotion from the viewer.
1917 Somewhere in France
Drone view of French countryside moving toward the front over trenches to pan in on American and French soldiers moving out of trenches to run across no man’s land. A mortar shell explodes and bodies fly. (Adrenaline) A lone SOLDIER runs towards a body with legs at odd angles. He knees down beside the body and cradles his head.
SOLDIER
You alive brother.
FALLEN SOLDIER
Yes, God damn it. I can’t feel my legs.
The battle heats up.
FALLEN SOLDIER
Get going, Willie. Kill some of those bastards for me.
His face winces in pain.
FALLEN SOLDIER
(moaning) SHIT. Tell mother I love her.
(Fear) WILLIE hands his brother a canteen. Mortar shells explode kicking up dirt everywhere. Loud gunfire.
WILLIE
Got to move on. Push those bastards back.
FALLON SOLDIER
Get the hell out of here.
(Suspense) The brothers clasp hands. Willie runs off into the cloud of smoke and dirt, so thick he can barely see. In the noise, dust, smoke, and confusion of battle he escapes into a woods, unknowingly behind German lines.
His vision clears, the sounds of battle less harsh. (Fear)He walks on, careful with his steps, and finds cover in a thicket of tree branches, brush, and thorns.
The noise of battle pauses. He hears a branch snap and turns. (Fear) A German TROOPER his rifle at Willie’s heart. Feeling trapped he looks for an out.
(Excitement) He greets the man in farmer’s German to buy a few seconds to devise a plan.
WILLIE
Vegates, wo bin ich? Ich bin verloren?
TROOPER
Ich mache keine Gefangenen.
(Fear) The trooper begins to squeeze the trigger. (Adrenaline) Willie hits the dirt. The shot goes wild as the trooper falls forward to the ground. (Relief) Behind him stands a French soldier, a bloody knife in his hand. The other hand plugs a hole in his stomach where blood oozes out. The French soldier wipes the knife on his pants and tosses it to Willie. Willie grabs the German’s rifle with bloody bayonet and throws it to one side. (Fear)The Frenchman points to the knife and then to himself. He attempts a step towards Willie, removes the hand covering the hole in his stomach, and collapses. Entrails spill from the bloody hole. (Adrenaline)Willie understands what he needs to do. He grabs the knife but (Relief) the man gasps his last breath and dies. Willie pockets the knife, picks up the German’s rifle and shoulder’s it along with his own and races deeper into the woods.
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INT. Chay’s home
Cinnamon has fainted as Chay’s sister Rebecca implies Grover Johnson’s body was never recovered after the accident.
Rebecca: Oh no, Cinnamon; wake up dear
Chay: Leave my baby alone, this is all your fault; Jerrod takes Cinnamon to the guest bedroom and, call the house nurse to look after her well-being.
Rebecca: I am so sorry, but I can no longer live this lie. Just tell Cinnamon the truth about her father.
Chay: I will talk to my daughter when I am good and well ready. Now you can stay but keep your mouth shut about my husband.
SUSPENSE:
Rebecca: I will not allow this, your jealousy could be the reason he is dead, you had to win didn’t you.
Chay is looking at Rebecca with a very mean face.
Rebecca: Are the rumors true? Did you have him killed because of your jealousy? His handsome charm was too charming for you to handle. Especially him finding out you were barren, and he wanted more children, and you couldn’t have any more after Cinnamon.
Chay steps in front of Rebecca and slaps her and they begin to fight. Rebecca slaps Chay and they tussle each holding the other’s hand, tumbling over.
Jerrod comes in and tells each woman to stop.
Jerrod: Stop! (As he breaks up the fight) Enough, you two should not carry on like this.
Both women straighten their hair and outfits.
Rebecca: Let me apologize; I am sorry. She put out her right hand for a handshake but Chay refuses.
SURPRISE:
Chay makes a call from her cell.
Chay: Hello get everything ready, I gave my daughter a sedative as too much was hitting her too hard, my baby is too important to me. I must protect her. She must never know I am the reason her father is dead.
ADENALINE:
Cinnamon: Mom I have heard your confession; You have a right to remain silent. Anything you say will and can be used against you.
-She tries to handcuff her mother but suddenly; Chay pulls a gun out of her purse and puts it to her head-
Chay: I will die before I allow you to put me in jail. You will never take me alive.
Cinnamon: Mom, no, don’t do this, give me the gun.
Rebecca walks in…..
Rebecca: No, she tries to grab the gun.
Cinnamon calls 911.
Rebecca and Chay tussle; the gun is pointed at the ceiling; it goes off and the bullet ricochets and hits Rebecca.
Chay: Rebecca! Rebecca!
EXCITEMENT:
(Int. Hospital)
Cinnamon is sitting waiting for news on her aunt. Chay has been arrested for both attempted murder of her sister and murder of both of her ex. husband, as well as Rick Devin. There is a ton of press outside the hospital for the DA’s response to arresting her own mother.
On a bright note in walks Clash.
Clash: Hey are you ok!
Cinnamon: Oh, Clash I wish I could really wake up from this nightmare. But at least now I know the truth.
Chief of Police, Lawrence Buchanon and Lieutenant, Eric Watson enters and advises Cinnamon to leave, go home and get some rest.
DANGER:
Clash and Cinnamon are driving when suddenly the car loses control as if it is going to crash but as the car goes from 50 to 80 to 100 on the freeway. Clash gets on his cell. Cinnamon thinks he is calling 911, he is trying to stop the car by using the AI command installed in the interior of the engine for this car. As it unfortunately speeds to dangerous levels, he switches to the Apple watch and commands it to stop in another language and the speeds lower down to 50 then 40 which is safe enough to get it back home.
SUSPENSE:
Clash advises Cinnamon that someone wants us dead with all this that just happened with her car.
Clash: Who has access to your cars?
Cinnamon: Jerrod, my mother’s butler.
Clash: So, your mom wants everyone in your family bumped off.
Cinnamon: Please this is making me sick.
FEAR:
Clash: I would leave but you are my priority now, I wanna stay.
Cinnamon: You sure you wanna be with a woman who just arrested her mother and almost died in 2 car crashes.
Clash: I’m here
ADRENALINE:
The two begin to make love, the energy is enormous in the air (MUSIC playing)
At the same time a small bomb is ticking in the bathroom pipe, the timer is ticket at 30:00 seconds.
Camera pans to the couple sleeping.
Clash wakes to go to the bathroom. It’s noticeably quiet in the room, he goes and starts a shower, Cinnamon wakes and hears him, she gets in and they make love again. Washing each other they stop and dry each other off.
Clash: You hear that
Cinnamon: No what is it?
Clash: shush, go get dressed I hear bomb and it’s about to detonate.
Cinnamon: oh no.
Cinnamon remembers her security system has a secret wall, she turns it on and sees the bomb is down to 20 seconds.
Clash is dressed, he must wiggle it out of the wall and detonate it before it’s too late.
EXCITEMENT:
Clash and Cinnamon profess their love.
Cinnamon: If I die with you, I am the luckiest girl in the world.
Clash: I love you!
Cinnamon: I love you!
The bomb is down to 10 seconds.
Camera pans outside Cinnamons palatial home.
The home explodes.
RELEIF:
Did momma win? Are they both dead?
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Matthew Frendo’s Level 3 Action Emotions
What I learned doing this assignment is how to elevate action scenes using 3 techniques. This will help me make my screenplay more exciting and engaging. It also taught me the tools to create these scenes. I also learned the difference between these 3, as they are very similar.
A10 – DANGEROUS SITUATION – Jacob decides to blow up drug lab to make a dent in Nestor’s plan.
-Jacob setting up rigged bomb.
-man puts gun to his head.
-more men come, almost shoot bomb
-shootout happens, with him fighting and trying to get out of there
-gets out just as bomb is shot and place blows up
INT. DRUG LAB – NIGHT
Rain batters the windows, as lightning crashes to show us the place.
Jacob is kneeling in front of a home-rigged bomb, with a stick of the C4.
He is just about to finish, when–
CLICK.
A gun cocking. Right behind his head.
LAB THUG 1
No even think about anything, pendejo.
Jacob slowly gets up, hands raised.
JACOB
What I’m standing in front of could blow us both into dust in the wind.
The man slowly looks at the C4.
JACOB
Just saying, might want to be mindful of the bullets.
Jacob then quickly turns, disarms the man, takes his gun, and shoves a blade into his throat.
JACOB
Knives work much better for the situation.
BANG! BANG!
Jacob drops Lab Thug 1, as bullets whiz past his head.
4 more thugs come from outside, all with guns.
Jacob looks back at the C4.
JACOB
Oh shit!
He quickly shoves a science shelf in front of the bomb, just in time. Bullets hit the shelf. Bullets that would have hit the bomb.
Jacob grabs the thugs gun and starts firing back.
But more thugs are now entering the room.
They’re coming from all over.
Jacob shoots one, grabbing his gun on his way down and shoots another.
Three more enter. Jacob ducks under a desk and shoots 2 in the stomach. He gets up and shoots the last in the head.
He sees two more enter…with automatic weapons.
He looks back at the bomb.
And runs for the door!
The thugs start blasting everything in the room.
Jacob just gets to the door and leaps out as–
BOOM!
The whole place goes up in a ball of smoke.
EXT. NESTOR’S PALACE – NIGHT
Nestor is having a party with distinguished guests, smoking a cigar on the balcony.
As he is laughing, the lab explodes miles in front of him.
The cigar drops from his mouth, as he watches, eyes wide.
The whole party turns completely quiet.
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Subject line: Joan Edwards Level 3 Action Emotions
What I learned doing this assignment is it’s tough to do emotions on call.
Create a scene that uses all three of these Action emotions.
1. Look through your outline and choose a scene that could use danger, excitement, and adrenaline.
2. Create an outline of the scene that includes each of the three emotions.
A. Danger Ansaca goes to bank vault. Leaves with briefcase.
B. Excitement Bladen goes to bank and ties up his guards.
C. Adrenaline Bladen fights Ansaca and gets the briefcase.
3. Write the scene as a first draft, highlighting danger, excitement, and adrenaline.
Ansaca is in his limo. He gets a call from a friend.
Daniel: There are 7 people helping Bladen. They are headed to the bank now.
Ansaca They don’t know my access code. They can’t get into my vault. It’s secure.
Daniel: They are highly skilled and dangerous. You’d better get out of the country.
Ansaca: They don’t have any evidence. I’ve got it all. I’ll get it before they do.
Ansaca hangs up and tells driver to go to Bulwark bank.
Danger Ansaca goes to bank alone. He puts documents he needs from vault in a big briefcase. He opens the red folder and makes sure the document naming people and places and their job is in there.
Adrenaline Bladen follows Ansaca to the bank.
Excitement When he gets to the guards outside the main vault, Bladen pins guards to the wall with his knives and daggers. Bladen hogties them and mummifies them with ropes and huge double-sided cellophane tape. Leaves only a keyhole of space to breathe. Covers their eyes with duck tape. They can’t see and they can’t move. All they can do is breathe.
Danger Bladen moves inside the door to the vault. There is an inner door. He knows Ansaca is in there. Bladen’s breathing gets more rapid. He feels his heart and looks up as if looking to God for an answer.
Ansaca closes the vault behinds him and turns to the right. He’s face to face with Bladen who now blocks his movement in any direction.
Ansaca: You’re dead. You know. My guards will get you.
Bladen kicks his knee that stops Ansaca in his tracks. Ansaca moves back and Bladen side-kicks him. Ansaca still holds tight to his briefcase. Then Bladen hit him where it hurts. He leaned over in great pain and drops the briefcase. Bladen grabs the briefcase and leaves the building and goes down fire escape. Ansaca calls for his guards. They don’t respond because they are still tied up. He calls 911 to report theft and for paramedics to help his guards.
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Tarina’s Level 3 Action Emotions
“What I learned doing this assignment is…?”
It is not so easy to add fear, excitement, and adrenaline. You must understand your fight sequence and have to be very clear about what is happening and in what order. Otherwise, it is just confusing, and you lose the excitement, danger and adrenaline focus. This is something that I need to focus on. Also I think it need to flow with the other two levels of emotions throughout the script and build on each other.
EXT/INT. TRAIN STATION – MORNING
Nina and the operatives hurry down the steps into the overcrowded underground station. Hurriedly the operatives conceal their weapons. They stand positioned around Nina and Bruce move to a higher part of the steps to have over watch.
CUT TO:
INT. KRUEGER’S LAB – MORNING
Several monitors flicker with facial recognition programs running. Suddenly one of them sound an alarm and zoom in on Nina, Aron and Sly’s faces. Krueger jumps up excitedly from a plush chair and small table where he was eating a healthy breakfast of scones, fruit, coffee, and orange juice.
KRUEGER
That’s them! Find the third operative!
The program scans through all the passengers waiting for the incoming train. Sly is looking back at the steps where several people are shouting in anger because the are pushed aside by the thugs chasing them.
CUT TO
EXT/INT. TRAIN STATION – MORNING
Bruce quickly moves to the side of the steps and with a quick flick of his knife punctures heart of the first operative that passes him from the steps to the platform. The man silently bend over, and Bruce gently let him slide to the side of the steps. He moves away immediately.
CUT TO:
INT. KRUEGER’S LAB – MORNING
This action however draws the focus of the program and another alarm start to sound in the lab. The four people file into the train with several other passengers. The operatives bang against the closed train doors as they are too late to enter.
KRUEGER
Activate the program. Kill them! Kill them now!
CUT TO:
INT. TRAIN CAR – MORNING
Nina slumps into a seat with Aron and Bruce next to her. Sly moves away from them but keep standing so that he have a clear view of both sides of the car.
NINA
How did they find us so quickly?
BRUCE
Fuck knows! Sly I am getting sick of these bastards. We have to change the deck. We are fighting with one hand tied behind our backs.
Before Sly can answer – some people that where previously shown on their phones, suddenly start to attack them.
ARON
SHIT!
For a moment the operatives and Nina watch as a zombie apocalypse start to come down on them. Even an old lady knitting try to stab Sly with her knitting needle. Sly pushes her away without much effort. A young group of FOUR typical black gangster youths pull a various array of knives and guns, and the operatives snap back to action. As they start shooting, Bruce clips two of them in the head and Aron knocks another one to the ground with a knee to the groin and a fist to the face. Nina screams. They all whip around to see several people climbing onto her. Like a rugby scrum falling. An older man in an striped suit and with a red tie, strangles her from behind. She claws at his eyes, but her hands and arms are pulled away almost tearing them from her body. She screams in agony. Aron shoots the last of the remaining youths. Sly and Bruce struggles to pull the people from Nina. She is starting to turn blue around her lips and her eyes are wide with panic and fear. Sly takes aim and shoot the man in the suit between the eyes. Blood and brain matter spray over Nina and the people on top of her. He slumps down and disappear under the sea of bodies. Nina pulls air into her lungs, screaming in pain at the same time as a sharp object enters her leg. The three operatives start to disentangle the heap of flesh around Nina. They knock unconscious, stab and shoot their way through sea of bodies. People start to fall to the ground as suddenly the whole train accelerates causing the last people around Nina to bounce around the car injuring themselves.
BRUCE
I’ll check it out!
Moves to the front of the train through the last two cars where people are screaming in fear.
ARON
Picking Nina up moves into the next car and Sly shuts the door into several people’s faces. Struggling they try to open the door from the other side still trying to kill them. Several people fall to the tracks between the two cars as the people shove them from behind. He see a lady holding a folded umbrella. He shoves it through the handles of the door. They train is now going full speed and people screaming deafens out the noise of the whipping wind from the outside. Aron are checking Nina for injuries and with a piece of his shirt tie a bandage around her leg.
BRUCE
Enters the conductor’s compartment by shooting out the window and opening the door. The driver looks around and try to stop him. Bruce hit him behind the head with the butt of his gun and he slumps back in his seat. His hand hovers over the control for a moment looking as if he is going to increase the speed even further, just as Sly sticks his head in from behind.
SLY
Can you stop it?
BRUCE
Looking annoyed.
Just about too.
He start to gently pull back on the lever. Decreasing speed till the train comes to a complete standstill. A moment of dead silence are heard in the dark tunnel, before a commotion erupts from behind them. Several shots are heard with people screaming.
SLY
Shit!
They swiftly move to the train car with Aron and Nina. The same scene greets them as before. Aron are pushed against the doors shielding Nina from the crowd with his body. Sly sprints start to shoot just behind Aron and Nina, the emergency escape glass shatters. Bruce and Sly fight their way through the crowd to Aron and Nina. As they keep the people off Aron helps Nina out the window before the other two follow. Without talking they start to fall back to the back of the train. As they pass the train car were the first attack happened, they can see several dead and mangled bodies. Nina gasps and just then one person see them and start to follow them on the inside of the car never breaking eye contact. Aron takes aim and with one shot shatters the window before the second brings him down in his tracks. They quickly move along and vanish in the darkness behind the train.
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Diana T. Black… Level 3 Action Emotions – Danger, Excitement, and Adrenaline
What I learned doing this assignment is that I have scene sequences exemplifying danger, excitement, and adrenaline – but not necessarily in that order. Again, I’m using these Assignments as a checklist so as to polish the now much more detailed Outline. With it I will be able to efficiently rewrite the existing Pilot.
Because this sequence deals with tragic circumstances – the death of Keylan’s best friend – it’s heavy on Danger and Adrenaline, but very light on Excitement…
Scene Sequence:
B-Story… Scene:
(Danger) Keylan arrives at the burning building to find Patrick – beaming victoriously, playing the Hero in front of the media cameras carrying out of the building a semi-conscious child. Keylan marches over (the cameras still rolling), tears strips off Patrick who maintains Victor is still inside because there’s another victim inside, “Mandy”. Keylan enters the building. The rest of the crew outside douse the building from all sides.
Scene:
(Danger, Adrenaline) B-Story…Keylan fights his way into the center of the building and finds Victor, locked (intentionally) in a burning room – the door is keeping the roof from collapsing completely. Keylan orders him to open the door, to think of Naomi. Victor is exhausted, maintains he can’t open it. (Excitement) Keylan axes the door to gain access. He finds Victor wrapped in a fire blanket – there is no other person.
Scene:
B-Story…(Adrenaline) Keylan on the radio to Ange demands, “Who the fuck is Mandy?” Before Ange can find out, Victor looks up at Keylan and reveals the puppy wrapped in Patrick’s coat under his fire blanket.
Scene:
(Danger, Adrenaline) B-story…Keylan drags Victor out the burning room. Keylan cradles him in his arms in the wet corridor. Victor, struggling to breathe, hands over “Mandy”. Keylan stares down at his friend’s burnt torso, arms, and neck – 3<sup>rd</sup> degree burns. He knows it’s fatal – he’s gonna die. Keylan in tears goes to pick him up – to get him to IC, but Victor refuses, “it’s better this way.” Keylan knows it’s a lost cause. Crying he assures Victor Naomi will want for nothing. Keylan implores Victor to hang on but he dies in Keylan’s arms. (Adrenalin) Keylan draws a blood sample from Victor and labels it with his own name… then writes Victor Malena on his own sample. Keylan pockets the puppy and drags Victor back into the fire. Victor is virtually incinerated.
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Christopher Dalbey’s Level 3 Action Emotions
What I learned doing this assignment is that by emphasizing more on the danger, excitement, and adrenaline accelerates the pace of the story which I feel is congruent with what is expected of the action genre. And as I write out the scenes in this manner, I’m in sync with the excitement of the action inherently and feel that this is amazing!
3. Write the scene as a first draft, highlighting danger, excitement, and adrenaline.
INT. MANSION – VESTIBULE – NIGHT
Phara, bloodied in her disheveled costume, climbs the massive starwell languidly. Aside from the looming helicopters somewhere outside the mansion, there is an eerie silence that hangs heavy in the air.
A bunch of Triano’s costumed soldiers march menacingly through a vast corridor.
Phara is atop of the starwell, laboring through her breaths –
A thundering kick comes comes blindingly across Phara’s head –
Sending her TUMBLING down the stairwell she just ascended!
Descending the starwell, in cape and top hat, is Triano (as Kalfu).
KALFU: For a minute there … you had me with all your ramblings against the destructiveness in New Orleans, all of the manners of injustice and corruption.
In a blur, all of the costumed soldiers gather around Phara, towering over her.
INT. MANSION – BALLROOM – NIGHT
A S.W.A.T. unit, guns ready, stealthily moves through a vacant hall with precision.
INT. MANSION – VESTIBULE – NIGHT – CONTINUOS
Kalfu ceases his descent a few steps before the bottom of the stairwell …
KALFU: But, as with most aspiring politicians who have no real sense of what the people really want, what they crave for, they end up facing the inevitable bad luck of their fate … that would be me in case you’re wondering my dear –
The S.W.A.T team navigates swiftly down a corridor that Triano’s gangly bunch had just proceeded down.
Kalfu twists his cane that converts into a sharp blade at the end of it and hold it high over his head as he recites:
KALFU: Praise be to the ancestors. For it is because of them that I am! –
Many SHOTS are fired as Triano’s bunch disperses throughout the mansion.
Kalfu’s bladed cane falls from his hand and collapses unto Phara. His head adjacent to hers.
MAMAN PHARA: Know now the power between the mortal world and the divine –
She shoves her boot knife into his gut!
KALFU (spitting up dark blood): I only know the power of our eternal love.
Kalfu’s eyes roll over all white as the S.W.A.T team congregates before them …
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