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Post Day 13 Assignment Here
Reply to post your assignment.
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17 Replies
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Charles Ferrell’s Reaction to the turning point
What I learned from doing this assignment is to delve into how the protagonist struggles in their reaction to have a level of choice while still being a victim to some degree.
ACT 2
INT.DUNCAN APT – EARLY MORNING
Hitomi had a vehicle pileup of several cars due to local road construction on I-40 and came home at 2 am.
DUNCAN SMALLS
Duncan hurriedly as he is walking out the door mentions to his Hitomi Nakamura he can’t do coffee, he is going to see a staff therapist or declare his thesis theme and nervously repeats himself. A half asleep Hitomi grabs him by the sleeve.
HITOMI NAKAMURA
Therapist? I mean (rubbing her eyes) Therapy is always a good thing but this is sudden. I’m confused, what does a therapist have to do with your theme?
DUNCAN SMALLS
I was given umm….its an ultimatum from the chancellor
HITOMI NAKAMURA
Wait.. wait, you spoke with the chancellor and you have an ultimatum? I’m so lost, after spending the night stitching up bleeding children, I’m trying to catch up here.
DUNCAN SMALLS
Somehow, the Chancellor found out about my nightmare or um.. my visions…I’m not sure which or how but he said either declare it as a thesis theory or declare I’m crazy.
HITOMI NAKAMURA
Surely, he didn’t say crazy
DUNCAN SMALLS
Well, no not crazy but he did say declare or go see a therapist.
HITOMI NAKAMURA
Consider, that both might be an option. Declare to take some pressure off and see a therapist. Honey, in the span of a decade you lost your entire family…a therapist is not an all-together terrible idea. You should talk to someone about it.
DUNCAN SMALLS
I don’t know how to talk about it, and now I don’t have a choice
HITOMI NAKAMURA
It’s ok, no one knows how…just go talk and declare..do both and know that you will be ok
INT.THERAPIST OFFICE – MORNING
Opens the therapists office door, peeking in shyly
DUNCAN SMALLS
Morning, I don’t have an appt. I’m Duncan Smalls
THERAPIST
It’s quite all right, I normally do my admin paperwork at this time. I can work you in, come on in.
Duncan comes in and takes the seat that she motions too
THERAPIST
So, how can I help?
DUNCAN SMALLS
I don’t know, not sure how this works.
THERAPIST
Fair enough, tell me about the people or situations in your life where you feel ….lets say pressured or stressed.
DUNCAN SMALLS
Well, I’m a phD candidate, that is the definition of stress and I also teach level 1 history courses.
THERAPIST
That is good clarity, is your family supportive in your efforts?
DUNCAN SMALLS
I..I have no family, my parents died in a car accident when I was 14. My grandmother who raised me after that died when i was a junior in college…that’s really it.
THERAPIST
Ok, so who are you close too, who do you spend time with?
DUNCAN SMALLS
Uhhh, my girlfriend Hitomi..not sure I have anyone else.
THERAPIST
Good to know, anything else that I should know about..maybe anything that doesn’t fit, or quite make sense with what you would expect?
DUNCAN SMALLS
I do see…I think I have seen a little asian maybe japanese girl.
THERAPIST
Got it, has anyone else seen or hear this girl?
INT.UNIVERSITY – DAY
Duncan sees Professor Winfield in the Hallway near the History department teachers lounge and corners him
DUNCAN SMALLS
Prof Winfield, can I bother you? I believe I’m ready to declare my theme.
PROFESSOR WINFIELD
I’m running behind but can give you two minutes and two minutes only.
DUNCAN SMALLS
My thesis theme will be “Undocumented Japanese internment camps and their relationship to operation paperclip”
Professor Winfield physically moves back slightly in reaction, he is obviously triggered
PROFESSOR WINFIELD
Tha..that’s a ridiculous choice..pure conspiracy theory and the board will reject it.
DUNCAN SMALLS
(intrigued by the reaction)
I’m not sure why its ridiculous, the object of a PhD is to uncover the unknown.
PROFESSOR WINFIELD
(starting to walk away)
Look, declare whatever you want but that is nonsense
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Don Thompson – Act II reaction to TP 1
What I learned: This key scene sets the entire action for the rest of the screenplay.
Act 2
Note: I have included both the TP and the Reaction below.
INT. CAPTAIN’S QUARTERS – SAME TIME
The Captain sits at his deck. There is a KNOCK on his door.
CAPTAIN
Enter.Seymour and Billy enter.
CAPTAIN
At ease.The Captain stands and approaches the two men.
CAPTAIN
Budd, I’ve conferenced with Lts. Seymour and Radcliff and they agree you should become Captain of the Foretop.Billy is somewhat astonished, and smiles.
BILLY BUDD
Thanks for that, Captain. I don’t like the circumstances of it, but thank you. Did you tell Mr. Claggart?
CAPTAIN
Don’t mind Claggart. I’ll inform him soon enough. Do you want the position?BILLY BUDD
I’d be honored, sir.CAPTAIN
Do you feel you’re ready?BILLY BUDD
I feel ready, sir.CAPTAIN
You’re well-liked among the men, Billy Budd. You engender a natural affection from them.BILLY BUDD
Ah… it’s nothing sir. Just trying to do my best.Beat, the Captain eyes him over.
CAPTAIN
Good then. Lt. Seymour will fill you in with any details tomorrow morning, when you’ll officially take the post.Billy nods.
CAPTAIN
I have one other question for you, Budd.BILLY BUDD
Yes sir.CAPTAIN
Who, in your mind, was responsible for Johnson’s death?Billy ponders.
BILLY BUDD
Well… I suppose if I was to pinpoint it, sir, it would be Mr. Claggart.CAPTAIN
Really? Now, in front of God and me and with Mr. Seymour as witness, why do you believe this?BILLY BUDD
Mr. Claggart knew Johnson was ill. He should have ordered him to the sick berth. He let him work.CAPTAIN
He knew he was ill?BILLY BUDD
Yes sir. I witnessed him ask Johnson to pick up a bowl of soup that was spilled, and Johnson couldn’t do it because of the pain. Claggart should have sent him to the sick berth straightaway, in my opinion.He examines Billy.
CAPTAIN
You wouldn’t lie to me now, would you lad?BILLY BUDD
No sir. I respect you too much sir.Beat.
BILLY BUDD
With your permission, sir?CAPTAIN
Go ahead.BILLY BUDD
Mr. Claggart rules with an iron fist. If he loosened it up a little, he would do better.
The Captain nods.CAPTAIN
Thank you Budd. Dismissed. Mr. Seymour, stay here please.Billy leaves, and Seymour stays behind.
The Captain returns to his desk and sits.
CAPTAIN
Have a seat.Seymour sits in front of the Captain’s desk.
CAPTAIN
What do you think about Budd’s assessment of Claggart?SEYMOUR
I agree with it.CAPTAIN
We also knew Johnson wasn’t well. We could have stepped in.SEYMOUR
But Claggart had the closest proximity to Johnson. And were working to replace Johnson with Budd.Beat.
CAPTAIN
I’m concerned about Claggart. About the men not taking orders properly.SEYMOUR
He is a little harsh.CAPTAIN
We need balance. If we tighten the grip too much we will lose the men. I won’t have a mutiny on this ship.There is another KNOCK on his door.
CAPTAIN
Yes?Claggart enters.
CLAGGART
With your permission, sir?CAPTAIN
What is it?CLAGGART
About Kinkaid.CAPTAIN
Yes – what do you advise?CLAGGART
I would say a hundred lashes, sir. As soon as possible while the event is fresh in the minds of the men.CAPTAIN
A hundred?CLAGGART
A hundred.CAPTAIN
Do ten.CLAGGART
Ten. That’s hardly enough for the infraction, sir, in my opinion,CAPTAIN
Yes, in your opinion. (he turns to Seymour) Mr. Seymour, is ten lashes enough?SEYMOUR
It should suffice.CAPTAIN
You see, Mr. Claggart. Mr. Seymour agrees. It will be 10.Beat.
CLAGGART
As you wish.He turns to leave.
CAPTAIN
Mr. Claggart.Claggart turns around.
CAPTAIN
I’ve decided to promote Budd to Captain of the Foretop. Not O’Daniel.Claggart stares ahead silently.
CAPTAIN
I… advise you to be supportive of Mr. Budd. Give him a chance to succeed. I believe he will.CLAGGART
You know my opinion of Budd, sir.CAPTAIN
Hmm. That I do. Thank you, Mr. Claggart. You may go. -
Peter Birdsong’s Reaction to the Turning Point
What I learned: First off… blown away that I have started act two already. Two weeks ago this story was the simplest of ideas. Mostly each day I’m learning how much this method of speed writing will benefit me. Still struggling with wanting to go back to edit, but I’m mostly resisted.
INT. CARLY’S BATHROOM – DAY
CARLY
Oh my godddd.
Carly hugs the toilet — her face pale. The rest of her body sits on the small amount of floor her head (bathroom) provides.
CARLY
She’s going to kill me. My own mother.
BURP. She swallows hard trying to keep whatever she has left from coming up her esophagus.
THUD THUD. A knock at her cabin door. Carly sways to her feet grabbing whatever she can to steady herself on the rocking floor.
INT. CARLY’S CABIN – CONTINUOUS
LAUREL (V.O.)
Carly?
CARLY
Go away!
Carly waits.
LAUREL
Come out.
CARLY
I’ll come out when I see U-S soil!
Silence. Carly sits on her bed and looks out the window. The Horizon tilts back and forth — side to side. Carly feels a churning.
CARLY
Shit.
She tumbles to the head and VOMITS.
INT. CARLY’S CABIN – DAY
Carly moans and rolls sideways on her bed. She grabs her phone and opens it. As she figured; no signal. It’s now as worthless as a brick.
She tosses her phone away.
She pulls her BAG onto the bed and opens her makeup case. Looking into the small MIRROR…
CARLY
Jesus.
Her makeup is smeared. Her hair is unrecognizable.
CARLY
Okay. You can fix this. Maybe this can get my mind off of the CONSTANT ROCKING!
She gets to work removing her old makeup first using WIPES inside her bag.
She studies herself.
CARLY
Shower.
INT. CARLY’S BATHROOM – DAY
She turns on the shower nozzle. Gripping the sides she steps in. Steadying herself she slowly lets go off the walls and gently reaches for the SHAMPOO.
The boat tilts and she slams against the side!
CARLY
I HATE THIS BOAT!
Carly slips and tumbles to the shower floor.
INT. CARLY’S CABIN – MOMENTS LATER
Wrapped in a towel and sitting on the bed, Carly opens her deluxe MAKEUP KIT. She pulls a makeup pin and pauses with it close to her face. Watching the horizon she waits for a steady moment.
She goes for it. Success! She continues on. Pausing and going as best she can between the roll of the waves.
INT. CARLY’S BATHROOM – DAY
She positions her feet in strong corners of the floor, widening her stance. One hand holds the counter, and the other reaches for a BLOW DRYER. She flips it on and it WHIRS to life.
Carly releases her other hand and grabs a comb. The boat, still rocking, tilts her backwards. Her butt hits the wall, but she doesn’t fall.
She locks her feet again, and leans back on the wall. Carly shrugs and gets to work on her hair.
INT. CARLY’S CABIN – DAY
She lays out an outfit on the bed. SKIRT. TOP. She looks at her heels on the floor for a moment.
CARLY
You two are benched for the time being.
INT. CARLY’S BATHROOM
She checks herself in the mirror. Touching the hair in places; moving strands to where they should be.
She nods her approval.
CARLY
Me again.
She breathes out a small burp.
CARLY
Almost.
She walks back into…
INT. CARLY’S CABIN
Carly stops in the middle of the room holding onto a nearby doorframe. Then she sits on the bed. All dolled up with nowhere to go.
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Subject line: Daisy Ridgway Khalifa’s Act 2 Reaction to TP 1 [Lesson 13]
What I learned doing this assignment: I have learned that figuring out each scene, and the dialog, is challenging—and exciting. I’ve come to really appreciate outlining scenes. I have a lot of scenes to write at this point.
Act 2/Key Scene 1/ Reaction to Turning Point/Outlines:
INT. MIA’S LOS ANGELES HOTEL – L.A. – NIGHT
Key Scene 1/Reaction to Turning Point: Mia frantically calls Ian, feeling sheepish and selfish, given his tragedy. But, she has seen Charles and must convey this. He could care less-he is mourning and, what is worse, he is jealous and hurt.
INT. MIA’S LOS ANGELES HOTEL – L.A. – NIGHT
BEGINNING: Mia goes back to her hotel in a panic, frightened-a very “adult” reaction.
MIDDLE: She calls Ian. She is so sorry about his father; did he get her letter? She is sorry about her circumstances (with Paul); but, she saw him, she saw Charles etc..
END: He could care less, but throws this bone: “Well, if you see him, why don’t you try to make it so that my father doesn’t get killed by a drunk driver on his 60th birthday?”
EXT. PINECLIFF GARDEN – DAY
Key Scene 1/Reaction to Turning Point/New Plan: Mia sees Charles again.
BEGINNING: Mia returns to Pinecliff a few days later.
MIDDLE: Mia sees Charles in the garden in the same spot —their spot—in the garden. They have a discussion about earthquakes, Charlie Chaplin and things that help prove to Charles that she is Mia, but an adult now. He looks the same —for he is the same, as it is still around 1948 — while she is now from the year 1999. When she tells him she is the little girl, Charles finds it absurd and impossible (and he feels crazy and neurotic enough as it is).
END: Mia may or may not be convincing Charles she is from the future. She asks for Elvis’ autograph, “because you are going to guest-host a show for Ed Sullivan”. Charles has been so happy at Pinecliff, teaching, enjoying nature, embarking on a reading tour, that he longs to stay. Like Mia, he treats this visitor as if she is a muse. He did get the skinny on earthquake history. Still, Charles is unconvinced and Mia asks if they might meet again. When they part, she asks him about the Lord Byron scholar Michael Gardner and said if he helps you with Don Juan in Hell, make sure you give him a job. Mia is unaware that even by saying that, she is already meddling with fate.
Scenes TK
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Rebecca Jordan’s Reaction to Turning Point 1, Lesson 13
What I learned from this assignment is that it gets easier to move faster once you know the game. Plus, I was lucky and had mistakenly moved this scene into act 1, so it was already done. And it’s a little more of a fun scene.
Beginning: After calling the police department and asking them to go to her Mom’s house to deliver her phone number and have her Mom call, Rachel gets dressed up sexy and goes to the pub to tie one on.
Middle: Rachel meets and parties with Buck at the pub, a farmer/cowboy and brings him back to her place where they have sex and pass out. He spends the night.
End: Next morning, Rachel, cold and rude, kicks Buck out with a cup of coffee to go.
_______________________________
INT. SMALL BARN – NIGHT
Rachel has changed into something sexy. Looks into a mirror. Finishes putting make up on and fixes her hair.
She throws back the rest of a scotch. Puts her boots on and grabs her jacket.
Leaves.
INT. PUB – NIGHT
Rachel, 50’s, at the bar drinking beer and doing shots with Buck, 50, a handsome farmer. They’re drunk. Having a good time. Music on the juke box.
Rachel pays her buddy behind the bar. And waves.
Leaves with Buck.
INT. SMALL BARN – CONTINUOUS
Rachel and Buck have drunk sex in the loft.
INT. SMALL BARN, LOFT – MORNING
Rachel, a hung over mess, dresses. Sees Buck passed out in the bed. Ugh!
RACHEL
Buck. Buck, is that even your real name? Hey Dude, you gotta get up. It’s late.
Grumbles… Rolls over.
BUCK
Good morning to you, wild one. Come on back to bed. Let’s get busy.
RACHEL
No man. You gotta get up. I have work to do. Come on let’s go. You need to go.
BUCK
How bout some breakfast. I can make a mean omelet.
RACHEL
Yea, well I have an empty fridge and a lot of work to do. Get up
BUCK
Let’s go to the diner. My treat.
RACHEL
Yeah, no. I’m sure I’ll see you at the bar.
BUCK
Okay. Jeez woman. You’re one piece of work.
RACHEL
Yea, I know. Hot cold.
BUCK
Cup of coffee?
RACHEL
No.
BUCK
To go.
RACHEL
Alright. Enough. I’m sure I’ll see ya round at the pub, cowboy. Up up up!
Rachel’s already down the ladder. Makes coffee. Looks at story board and finds a beautiful picture of her Mom. Stares at it a long time.
Makes two cups of coffee. One to go.
Buck finally comes down disheveled still buttoning up. Notices the artwork.
BUCK
Dang, you sure have a dark side.
Rachel hands him a coffee. Walks to the door and holds hit open for him.
BUCK
Aw, and a sweet side too.
She smiles for the first time. Sardonic.
BUCK
There it is. Charming.
RACHEL
Don’t let the door hit ya on the way out.
BUCK
Funny too. Later sexy.
RACHEL
Don’t hold your breath.
He grins at her. Rachel closes the door after him.
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Patrick Downey – Act 2 Reaction to TP 1
What I learned doing this assignment is that beat sheet helps keep you grounded to your script and continuity.
ACT 2 BEAT SHEET
INT. ST. PATRICK’S CATHEDERAL CHURCH – DAY
Cayman is in behind the curtain on stage peering out at packed house of all the people there to pay their respects to his grandfather. He looks in the second row with disgust and hatred for the men responsible for his death.
EXT. ROOFTOP IN MIAMI -DAY
Audie and Cayman meeting on the rooftop of his sports agency building in downtown Miami at the request of Cayman. He drops a bombshell on Audie when shares all his knowledge and informs him of how his grandfather was killed.
INT. H.A.V.O.C. OFFICES – NIGHT
Cayman is waiting inside with his whole crew as Audie walks in with Carmella and Crutch in tow. Cayman didn’t expect this but is extremely pleased to have more valuable inside help.
INT. VAULT
Cayman goes into great detail about his plan to the amazement of all in attendance.
ACT 2 OUTLINE
INT. ST PATRICK’S CHURCH – DAY
BEGINNING: Cayman stands in the holding area behind the stage with the entire Stingnelli family. He peaks out to see the gathering and is amazed at how many have come to pay their respects. His gaze is interrupted when notices the other partners sitting with their families in the second row.
MIDDLE: After Audie gets up to give his moving tribute about his best friend, Cayman knew he could be trusted and was not part of the scheme. It prompted Cayman to reach out to Audie a few days after the funeral.
END: Cayman avoids the pression afterwards to avoid seeing the other partners in fear of doing something he would regret. He sits heads alone to the church garden awaiting his grandmother and uncle John-John.
INT. CAYMAN’S ROOM – NIGHT
BEGINNING: Cayman sits at his desk typing what looks like a lesson plan maybe for a class or project.
MIDDLE: Cayman plugs in a flash drive and a map pops up with various charts and graphs.
END: Cayman drafts an email to Audie asking for a meeting at his office in Miami.
EXT. ROOFTOP MIAMI OFFICE BLDG. – DAY
BEGINNING: After the customary hellos, Cayman gets down to business and pulls out a new device which allows him to have a voice while he types. Audie starts to write on his notepad which he always carries around Cayman.
MIDDLE: Cayman assures Audie he doesn’t need that because he has been able to read lips since he came to live with his grandfather. He also shocks Audie with all his knowledge about the business and the truth about his grandfather’s killers.
END: Cayman gives Audie the opportunity to work with him but realistically, it’s his only choice unless he wants to get caught up in what’s about to go down.
INT. H.A.V.O.C. OFFICES – NIGHT
BEGINNING: Cayman sits inside waiting with his crew when Audie walks in with Carmella and Crutch in tow for valuable inside support.
MIDDLE: Cayman introduces everyone to new device that Audie is familiar with and continues with introductions.
END: Cayman
goes through the plan in great detail leaving no stone unturned. -
Lesson 13: Act 2 Begins
ASSIGNMENT
BG’s Act 2 Reaction to Turning Point 1
What I learned doing this assignment: One thinks that one saves time by jumping into writing scenes without an adequate structure. But spending the first 8 days on structure has been immensely helpful to me. I am now finding it easier and faster to add scenes to what I call the ‘backbone.’
Using your Beat Sheet, outline Key Scene 1.
INT. CHEAP HOTEL – LONDON – NIGHT
BEGINNING: Reporter, seated at his laptop, tells Hacker via video-link that he’s gotten a job at the Club as a waiter.
MIDDLE: They discuss how he should ingratiate himself with Billionaire so that Billionaire will want to keep him around to serve him.
END: Reporter tells Hacker he hates to lie.Write the “Reaction to the Turning Point” scene.
INT. CHEAP HOTEL – LONDON – NIGHT
Reporter is seated in front of his laptop at the cheap hotel desk.
ON THE SCREEN: Reporter and Hacker are in their separate little windows. In Hacker’s window, the part of his apartment visible behind him is nice.
REPORTER: There I was, working up my courage to go inside, when this big lady comes up from behind. She grabbed me and took me — walked me right into the Club and hired me.
HACKER: Really hard up for waiters, huh?
REPORTER: Said she remembers me from Chez Jean. I have zero recollection of her.
HACKER: Hmm… Moving faster than I expected, I wonder if you’re ready —
REPORTER: And I have to meet Mr. Billionaire tomorrow — for inspection!
HACKER: Oh dear, do you have anything to wear?
REPORTER: Not really. Clean jeans?
HACKER: No! Fortunately for you, London has many used-clothing shops. We like to buy things we can’t afford. A nice navy-blue sports jacket, nice shirt, gray wool slacks…
ON THE SCREEN: Already scrolling on the screen are store-front photos of several used-clothing shops, their addresses and a map.
HACKER: You want to be humble, pleasant and compliant. Delightful would help, but you can’t handle delightful. Don’t mention you are a mechanical engineer, or that you have been dumped. Don’t volunteer, wait to be asked. Remember, you are a servant now. Not an equal. Nobody wants an uppity servant.
REPORTER: Yeah, yeah.
HACKER: And lose the attitude. If he likes you, he’ll keep you around and you can find out things. Smart is optional, compliant is key!
REPORTER: How am I going to explain what I’m doing in London?
HACKER: You’re an expat who wants to see the world. Got that? An expat who wants to see the world.
REPORTER: I hate to lie.
ON THE SCREEN: In his window, Hacker throws up his hands.
HACKER: Fine scruples for an undercover reporter!-
This reply was modified 3 years, 3 months ago by BG ERENGIL.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 3 months ago by
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Robert Wood’s Reaction to the Turning Point
What I learned is that in restructuring my plot I’ve drifted a bit from the specific structural points initially outlined. I think overall that’s not going to be a problem, and feel that my new storyline is much stronger than before, so I’m moving on with it.
INT. FAMILY HOUSE – KITCHEN – DAY
Matt prepares breakfast. Bert sips coffee meditatively.
MATT
You want to talk about it?
BERT
About what?
MATT
Last night.
BERT
Not really.
MATT
Where were you trying to get to out there in that old canoe? It probably wouldn’t even stay afloat.
BERT
I don’t remember.
MATT
You said you were going out to face it. The monster on the lake.
BERT
Did I… Did I go?
MATT
No. I stopped you.
BERT
Yes, I remember now… the monster is out there. I know it.
MATT
Sure it is.
Matt slides scrambled eggs onto a plate and places it in front of Bert.
MATT
There’s toast, bacon, tomatoes… take what you want.
Bert reaches for toast and notices the old newspaper clipping of the classified ad sitting on the counter.
BERT
Where did you find this?
MATT
It was in your office.
BERT
That’s where it should have stayed.
MATT
Sorry.
Bert holds the clipping, lost in memory.
MATT
It took me a while to remember, too. Harris placed that ad, didn’t he?
BERT
Harris… yes, I suppose it was. You remember him?
MATT
Bits and pieces…
EXT. FAMILY HOUSE – FRONT YARD – DAY
Young Matt plays outside in the summer sun with his dinosaur figures.
A taxi pulls up and a man exits: HARRIS, 24, looking like he’s fresh off a boat from Europe. He pays the cab driver, then looks to the house and spots Young Matt. Approaches with a smile…
HARRIS
Hi! I’m Harris.
YOUNG MATT
I’m Matt.
HARRIS
Good to meet you, little man… I like your dinosaurs!
YOUNG MATT
Thanks.
HARRIS
You know what they’re all called?
YOUNG MATT
Of course! Tyrannosaurus, Triceratops, and Stegosaurus.
HARRIS
Top of the class! Where are your parents?
YOUNG MATT
Mom & sis are away in Saskatchewan helping my granny –- she’s sick.
HARRIS
Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. Hope she’ll be okay.
YOUNG MATT
I think she will.
HARRIS
Good. And what about your dad?
YOUNG MATT
He’s inside.
HARRIS
Want to introduce me?
YOUNG MATT
Sure –- come on!
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Vic Valleau Lesson 13 ACT TWO BEGINS
What I learned: Keeping jeopardy high is easy with disagreeable outsiders.
INT. NANCY’S BEDROOM – DAY
Nancy is beyond loaded, almost unconscious, volcano vaporizer smokes.
INT. BACKSTAGE GIRLS CLUB – DAY
Chagrined, Elia is backstage shakes.
ELIE; I can’t lie to these girls!
GIRL#1 I learned respect thyself, so men will respect us!
INT. GIRLS CLUB
Program reads: Respecting women, managing men!
Begin: Elie: Young ladies, my talk, I can’t give it.
Pandemonium breaks out.
GIRL#1 I MANAGE MEN BY SAYING NO. DID YOU TRY THAT?
ELIE: WE TRIED EVERYTHING TO TEACH RESPECT.
GIRL #2. We heard, lying, reckless driving and stealing!
Girl #3 There’s gotta be a better way.
ELIE: LETS HAVE A ROUND ROBIN OF BETTER IDEAS, YOU START.
Girl #1No, you start. Why did you steal? Lie? Crash his car?
Girl #2 Did you lie to get away with stealing?
Girl #3 Did you steal to teach them a lesson?
GIRLS; SO THAT’S YOUR ADVICE? FIGHT FIRE WITH FIRE?
We’re having a board meeting over your failures.
ELIE: WAIT
GIRL #1. NO, COME BACK NEXT WEEK WITH YOUR ANSWER. I CAN’T WAIT!
GIRLS: Neither can we!
INT. GIRLS CLUB BOARD MEETING – DAY
What’ll we do girls? A plan besides saying no!
Saying no is not a plan
What if we let those two cougars test our plan.
What if, what if, what if what?
Lets tell them 10 days to prove yourselves
And redeem the world for all womankind!.
INT. GIRL#1 BEDROOM
Five girls meet.
#1 My dad is in charge of the courts and arrests and criminals like those two.
#2 They’re not criminals, just blunderers!
#3 We told them to go, come back with tested plan.
#4 A plan, we innocent young women can use to build intimacy, trust, communication
#5 Get a dog, that’s my plan!.
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Janeen’s Act 2 Reaction to TP 1
What I learned doing this assignment is that I should definitely leave plenty of room when drafting to add more humor in the scenes and more details to the action scenes. I’ve done so. My current script is only 20 pages. Since’s it’s an Action/Comedy, I’ll need to focus on those two things in rewrites. Right now, I’m getting the bones of the script, the sequence of events, overall actions in the scenes and leaving it at that.
Act 2 Reaction scenes outlines:
EXT. NICK’S CAR – DAY
Nick realizes they are being followed, does a daring car chase which wrecks the bad guys’ cars and decides he needs a new plan. He trusts his driving skills. Parents do too after first wreck.
INT. MALL – DAY
The rogue FBI agent (Dasher) rises from the rubble, bruised and beaten, and calls the FBI to get help finding the parents by tracking Santa (Nick) who he says kidnapped the parents. FBI trust Dasher.
INT. FBI HQ – DAY
The FBI launches an all-out search – APBs, BOLOs, whatever – to find Nick so they can find the kidnapped parents. They trust Dasher.
INT. MALL – AFTERNOON
Ivy, rising from the rubble, tells the mall cop her vest took the bullet and she hit her head on a kiosk. Asks what happened. Finds Nick has the parents.
INT. DOG SITTING APT – DAY
Nick gets the parents clothes from a client’s closet and makes them change everything since he hears about trackers in their gear on the FBI radio. Owners trusted Nick with keys/pets.
EXT. CAR LOT – DAY
Nick leaves his old car near his apartment and uses cash to buy an old clunker (with no electronics) at a used car lot since his car and plates have been id’d (again, via the FBI radio). Nick negotiates on the car.
EXT. DOG SITTING APT – AFTERNOON
Nick hustles the parents into the car, tells them he’s taking them to his great aunt’s lake cottage — no phones, trackers, GPS, etc. They should be safe. They trust Nick.
I adjusted a few things as I wrote.
SCENES
INT. MALL – DAY
Agent DASHER rises from the rubble, bruised, beaten.
Can’t find his radio.
Calls a contact at the FBI on his phone.
DASHER
Put out an APB on the XYZ shopping mall Santa. He’s kidnapped the Christmas Tree.
FBI CONTACT
Christmas Tree?
DASHER
The President’s parents, you moron.
FBI CONTACT
And the mall Santa took them?
DASHER
Yeah. Contact the mall. Get his name, vehicle, whatever. They took off in his car. If it’s a late model, have it killed. I’ll find them.
Dasher hangs up, rousts the mercenaries who are nursing their wounds, heads for an exit.
IVY is still half buried in the pile of plush dogs.
EXT. NICK’S CAR – DAY
NICK rolls away from the mall, dodging traffic, turning corners one after another. Checking, watching, to see anyone spots them.
FBI RADIO
Code Red. The Christmas Tree has been abducted. Repeat. The Christmas Tree has been abducted. Last seen leaving the XYZ shopping mall. Activating clothing and phone trackers now.
Nick glances in the rear view mirror at RUDY and HOLLY.
NICK
Did you know about the trackers?
HOLLY
I figured our phones would be because we have our son’s number in it.
RUDY
I used to sew trackers into coat linings when I was active. They were bigger then. Easier to find.
Holly nods to Rudy. Nick heaves a sigh.
INT. MALL – AFTERNOON
IVY is still swallowed up by the pile of stuffed dogs.
IVY opens her eyes.
DASHER
Come on guys. Let’s go after them.
After they’ve turned a corner, she thrashes her way out of the dog pile, groans, rubs her chest where the bullet impacted, her head where she hit the kiosk.
She pulls out her phone.
IVY
Joy, I’m in big trouble. FBI Agent Dasher had his thugs try to kill me. The mall Santa took the Christmas Tree.
JOY
The Santa you were flirting with all week?
IVY
I wasn’t flirting. I was keeping an eye on him because he was staring at us. And I was right to be suspicious. He’s taken the Christmas Tree.
JOY
Okay, okay. Lucky for you, I did a little research on him. He’s thirty-eight, single, lives in an apartment on XYZ, ex-military.
Ivy considers that last bit of info.
IVY
Find out what he did in the military. That may help us find him — and the Christmas Tree. He must been in on the planning with with Dasher.
She looks around. A crowd of shoppers are staring at her.
IVY
I’m fine. I’m leaving. Go shop.
The crowd shuffles away. She takes off, running for the exit.
INT. NICK’S CAR – DAY
NICK watches the mirrors and spots a black car following. He makes a number of quick turns, watching the street signs, speeding as much as possible.
After four or five such turns, he spots an SUV, pulling up close.
NICK
Those trackers in your clothes are working.
Then, to himself.
NICK
I’ve gotta lose these guys.
He checks the mirrors again, The black car and the SUV are behind him.
NICK
(to himself)
Excellent. Let’s go a little faster.
(louder)
Tighten those seatbelts and hold on. Things are going to get crazy.
Nick speeds up when he gets to a place that is one way, two lanes and no traffic. He moves to the left lane, speeds up more as the two cars block both lanes, the SUV pulling up on his right to cut him off.
One of the mercenaries is driving the SUV. It could be DASHER in the car.
NICK
Perfect.
He makes a quick left into a side street that curves slightly up ahead. Nick guns it.
Both vehicles follow, gaining speed to match his, but the SUV has fallen behind him now, next to the car.
Nick rounds the curve, gaining more speed. The vehicles follow suit.
The alley abruptly narrows to a small, single lane alley.
The car and the SUV collide with the brick building walls on either side of the alley and with each other, jerking to a stop in a noisy, dusty, crunched together wreck that leaves both vehicles wedged in with no way for the drivers to get out except the trunk of the car and back hatch of the SUV.
Nick laughs.
NICK
That ought to keep them busy for a little while.
INT. PARKING GARAGE – DAY
NICK gets out of the car and grabs his go back. Grizzly jumps into the driver’s seat. Nick scoops her up and sets her on his shoulder.
He opens the back door.
NICK
Let’s go. Time to get rid of those trackers.
HOLLY looks around, horrified, after she exits the car.
HOLLY
I’m not taking my clothes off here.
Nick rolls his eyes.
NICK
Did I tell you to do that?
Holly shrugs.
NICK
The elevator’s right there. Hold it for me.
Nick flips open his trunk, pulls out a car cover, tosses it over the vehicle expertly, tightens it down.
INT. DOG SITTING APT – DAY
HOLLY and RUDY are seated in a nice apartment, fidgeting, impatient. Nick’s go bag is on the floor.
RUDY
Some coffee would be nice.
HOLLY
I’ll make some.
(calling)
Santa, would you like some coffee too?
NICK emerges from the bedroom, Channukah sweaters in one hand, sweatpants in the other. Grizzly follows close on his heels.
NICK
Don’t make coffee. The owner should never know we’re here.
RUDY
Did you break in here?
NICK
Yes and no. I dogsit for these people pretty regularly so they gave me a key. We’re just borrowing these clothes so we can get rid of the trackers so son’t spill on them.
HOLLY
What’s to spill? You said no coffee.
Nick grimaces and shakes his head.
NICK
Put these on. I’ll be back with shoes.
He turns to go back in the bedroom and stops.
NICK
Are there trackers in your underwear?
Holly and Rudy look at each other, shrug, shake their heads.
INT. DOG SITTING APT – MOMENTS LATER
NICK drops an assortment of socks and sneakers on the coffee table. HOLLY and RUDY are still on the sofa.
NICK
Find something that fits.
HOLLY looks at the pile with distaste.
NICK
Just do it.
Holly looks down at the pile, defeated.
NICK
And go ahead and make yourself some tea or something.
FBI RADIO
We’re adding the description and plates of the Christmas Tree bandit to the APB. Be on the lookout. They are believed to still be in the metro area.
Nick groans.
NICK
I have to go out for a few minutes. Lock the door and don’t let anyone in, got it?
RUDY
Got it.
Nick grabs his go bag, sets Grizzly on his shoulder and heads out the door.
EXT. CAR LOT – DAY
NICK is dickering with a USED CAR DEALER on a small corner lot. They are looking at an old clunker. Grizzly is sitting on the hood.
NICK
Fifteen hundred is the most I can do. Cash. Take it now or I walk.
Nick turns to Grizzly.
NICK
Am I giving him a good deal?
Grizzly gives a sharp bark.
The dealer shakes his head.
USED CAR DEALER
I’m not making any money on this —
Nick rolls his eyes.
USED CAR DEALER
But I’ll let you have it.
EXT. STREET – AFTERNOON
NICK and GRIZZLY are in the front seat of the clunker with Nick’s go bag on the floor on the passenger side.
HOLLY and RUDY are in the back, dressed in ridiculous Channukah sweaters, poorly sized sweatpants, odd jackets, and wrong-sized sneakers.
They look at each other’s clothes and sigh, shaking their heads.
Nick is driving.
HOLLY
Where are we going?
NICK
My great aunt has a cottage at a lake. No phones, no trackers, no GPS in this car that they can use to follow us. We should be able to get there by morning. We’ll be safe there until we get this all sorted out.
Holly looks at Rudy. He nods.
Holly relaxes into the seat in the back.
-
Andrea Cabañas, Act 2 Reaction to TP 1
What I learned from this assignment was that I got deeper in my characters and discovered things I haven’t discovered yet, which changed a little bit my turning point. I’m so happy with the results because I finally discovered what really is at stake for my character.
ACT 2
—- REACTION TO TURNING POINT —-
OUTLINE
EXT. STREETS – DAY
BEGINNING: Zoe talks to Georgia over the phone.
MIDDLE: she hangs up and sees Paula near her car.
END: Paula takes Zoe for a drive and tells her about Juan.
INT. CAR – DAY – CONTINUOUS
Zoe and Paula are seated behind the car. DIEGO (50), a big scar on his chin drives the car. The window between driver and passenger is closed.
BEGINNING: Zoe tells she’s not avoiding Paula, she’s just busy. Paula asks about the new project.
MIDDLE: Paula tells Zoe she’s in danger; Zoe doesn’t believe in her.
END: Paula shows Zoe pictures of Juan to Zoe, who’s in shock, ‘Are you following me?’. They kiss. Paula drops her off back to Zoe’s car.
SCENES
EXT. STREETS – DAY
Zoe walks on the street proud of the meeting she had. She speaks over the phone with Georgia.
ZOE
… Yes, right? That’s what I thought. He really liked that, thanks for the tip.
(pause)
We set another day to check his house, and it seems a big project. You should have seen his office, it’s– Okay then, talk to you soon. I have to go home to pick up more clothes so I’ll be there later on. Cheers, buy.
Zoe turns off her mobile and sees Paula leaned over her car at the other side of the road. Their eyes met, she hesitates but keep walking.
Paula approaches, she’s elegantly dressed with white pants.
PAULA
Hi.
ZOE
Hi.
PAULA
Are you okay?
ZOE
Yes. You?
Paula looks sideways and places her hands in her pockets.
PAULA
We must talk.
ZOE
I don’t have anything to talk to you.
Paula scoffs, opens the car door and motions Zoe to get in.
PAULA
Please.
Zoe stares at her for a second, takes a deep sigh and enters.
INT. CAR – DAY – CONTINUOUS
Zoe and Paula are seated behind the car. DIEGO (50), dark hair and a big scar on his chin drives the car. The inside window between the driver and passengers is closed.
ZOE
What’s happening?
PAULA
Where were you?
Zoe frowns.
ZOE
Eerrr… Working?
PAULA
Working?
ZOE
Yeah, I had a meeting with a client, what is it? Do I need to give you details about everything I do during the day now?
Paula sighs.
PAULA
I just need to know who’s your client, that’s all.
Zoe scoffs.
ZOE
Got it. You lent me money to open my business and now you want to control my clients.
PAULA
There’s nothing to do with it. Just answer me, who was the client?
Zoe looks away reluctant, places her hand in her mouth and nip bites her thumb before talking.
PAULA
Please.
ZOE
His name is Matias, Matias Gon… Forgot his surname. He’s from Colombia, lives here for–
Paula scoffs nervously and mutters.
PAULA
(in Spanish)
Hijo de puta.
ZOE
What did you say?
Paula reaches her mobile phone, opens some pictures and hands it to Zoe. Pictures of Juan.
ZOE
What is this?
PAULA
Keep scrolling till the last pictures.
Zoe scrolls it and sees her picture having lunch with him. She stares at Paula with wide eyes.
ZOE
What… Are you following me? This is ridiculous.
She hits the glass window.
ZOE
Stop the car! Stop this fucking car!
Diego looks over his shoulder but doesn’t pay much attention to her.
Paula speaks with lower voice tone, but authoritative.
PAULA
This man is Juan Estigarribia, the one the police detectives are looking for.
Zoe stops but doesn’t face Paula.
PAULA
We worked together long time ago. They set me a trap and he went to jail…
She stares at the window outside. Zoe leans back to her sit, staring at the other side nibbling her thumb again.
PAULA
… And I was blamed for it. Now I understand why he’s here in Sydney. You must stop seeing him.
A moment of silence.
ZOE
And why should I believe in you?
PAULA
Because it’s the truth.
ZOE
The truth? Really? So please tell me, who are you!
Paula smiles and answers calmly.
PAULA
Paula Ortega.
ZOE
Where’re you from?
PAULA
I was born in Tijuana, Mexico, had some business with the narco–
ZOE
(scoffs)
Fuck.
PAULA
… But gave up this life years ago. Moved to Barcelona, where I lived for almost eight years and now I’m here, with you.
Zoe faces Paula.
ZOE
I can’t do this.
Paula places her hand onto Zoe’s hand and squeezes it.
PAULA
You need to stay away from him. For sure he’s up to something.
ZOE
(to herself)
This project is my freedom. I’ll buy my own place and–
PAULA
Is it money what you need? I’ll give you money but stay away from him!
ZOE
I don’t want your bloody money! Thank you for everything you gave to me and I’m glad I paid you back but now it’s my time to do my things!
PAULA
Hey, listen to me.
They stare at each other.
PAULA
This man is dangerous. Don’t get involved with him.
ZOE
I’m already involved since the first time I met you, Paula.
-
Benito Selim’s Act 2 reaction to Turning Point.
What I learned from this assignment is with Act 1 complete the real meat of the story can begin. You can reveal more of the story from the initial incident that got it off the ground.
ACT 2
INT. CLASSROOM- DAY
BEGINNING: Darryl meets with Lorraine and Calvin before class who insure him the footage has been fixed. Darryl enters the class with them, Andrew, Marcus, and Gary to screen their project.
MIDDLE: The project screens successfully then in the end it begins to act up again. More brutal images of Karen’s death are shown. Karen makes eye contact with Darryl and asks for help. No one else can see this.
END: Their teacher cuts off the film and Darryl asks if anyone else has seen Karen talking to him. Darryl receives blank stares. The film and camera projector itself burst into flames. All evidence Darryl had, is gone.
PLACEHOLDER: Why did Karen’s death re-appear? What connection does she have to Darryl?
INT. RESTAURANT- EVENING
BEGINNING: Darryl is reluctant to take Tina out on a date because of the earlier events but does anyway. Darryl attempts his best to not seem awkward, but Tina can spot it.
MIDDLE: Tina eases Darry by having him talk about it. Darryl begins to feel better, Tina excuses herself from their dinner table.
END: While Tina is away, a woman named Ellen Paisley approaches Darryl and tells him he is not sick, but instead possess a gift. Ellen leaves her contact and tells Darryl to contact her; alone. Darryl reluctantly accepts.
Reaction to Turning Point: Darryl is informed he is a medium not schizophrenic.
EXT. TINA’S APARTMENT- LATER
BEGINNING: Darryl walks Tina to her apartment, she wants to invite him in, but declines. Darryl is not disappointed but feels he has a real chance with her.
MIDDLE: Darryl gets a kiss goodnight and begins to exit when he is approached by Detective Will Garnett. Garnett informs him of a missing person case he is working on and asks Darryl to come by the station when he is available.
END: Garnett shows Darryl a picture of Karen and Jeff. Darryl tries not to act surprised, but Garnett catches his reaction. Garnett does not let on and leaves his info with Darryl. When Garnett exits Darryl removes Ellen’s contact from his pocket along with his phone.
-
TIM’S ACT 2 REACTION TO TP 1 – DAY 13
What I learned doing this assignment is that the same approach works on any scene – break it into a beginning, middle, and end. Also, I’m not wasting time on dialogue unless there are key words with special impact, such as those expressing theme.
REACTION TO TP1:
Duke responds by turning bitter towards humans and joining the Bad Boys Crew.
EXT./INT. DOG POUND – NIGHT
BEGINNING: Sunny consoles Duke and they discuss his options.
MIDDLE: They strike a deal – if she helps him escape, he’ll help her find her family.
END: Sunny helps Duke escape the pound, triggering alarms as the go into the night.
EXT. WOODS – NIGHT
BEGINNING: Sunny tries to convince Duke the BBC is bad and not to give up on humans.
MIDDLE: Sunny says Duke isn’t like the other dogs. Deep down he’s good and he’ll always be good.
END: The BBC surprises them, but Duke reacts with courage and ferocity. He’s one of them.
Int. DOG POUND – nIGHT
After hours. It’s dark and quiet, but Duke is wide awake and getting angrier by the second.
Sunny still perched outside his window trying to console him.
She tells him not to give up on humans; he’ll certainly be adopted by a new family; and she’ll stay with him no matter what. But there’s no consoling him.
Duke just wants to get out. He wants nothing to do with humans.
They strike a deal: Sunny will help him escape if he promises to help her find her family. She needs protection.
Sunny bites and claws through the screen.
She hops inside and opens the latch to his cage.
They are careful not to make too much noise, but when Duke pushes the emergency door open, alarms and flashing lights go off and they run off into the woods.
Ext. WoODS – niGHT
Duke wants to hook up with the Bad Boys Crew as Sunny tries to dissuade him.
He says being good got him nothing, so he might as well be bad and have some fun.
Sunny says he’s not like the other bad dogs. Deep down, he’s good and will always be man’s best friend.
Anyway, he promised to help her find her family.
He responds that he didn’t say WHEN.
She’s disappointed, but needs his protection so she stays.
Suddenly, the bad dogs leap out to scare them and Sunny goes scrambling up a tree in terror.
Duke responds so bravely and ferociously that he scares Mort and Daz.
Rex likes the new Duke. He is one of them.
-
Dana’s Act 2 Reaction to TP 1
What have I learned from this assignment?
Writing the reaction scene helps my script unfold in the direction I intended and keeps me from straying away from my event and character arcs. It also helped me envision future scenes that hadn’t yet even imagined and discover layers and depth to the antagonizes/protagonists that I hadn’t considered.
ACT 2 BEAT SHEET – REACTION
INT./EXT. STOLEN CAR – NIGHT
Jack and Frank question the woman that helps the thugs try to kidnap and kill Frank. They learn Jorgenson, the parole officer was involved.
INT./EXT. JORGENSON HOME – NIGHT
Jack and Frank break into Jorgenson’s home while he’s asleep. They wear masks to disguise themselves. Question Jorgenson at gunpoint. Jorgenson gives up what he knows.
ACT 2 OUTLINE – REACTION
EXT. DESERTED AREA – NIGHT
BEGINNING: In a deserted part of town, Frank parks the car he stole from thugs that attacked him. The girl who helped in the attack is in the trunk. They pull her out and begin to question her.
MIDDLE: The girl gives up the whole plan. They were supposed to grab Frank, put him in the truck and drop him in a grave out of town. It was supposed to look like he skipped parole. She tells them the two guys are parolees. They work for a guy named Jorgenson. Frank’s parole officer.
END: Jack and Frank let her go. They decide they need to speak with Jorgenson tonight.
INT./EXT. JORGENSON HOUSE – NIGHT
BEGINNING: It’s a nice house. Too nice for a parole officer. Jorgenson is asleep in his bed with a woman. Frank and Jack are already inside the room wearing ski masks. They wake them up, and Frank puts the woman in the bathroom and tells her to lock herself in.
MIDDLE: Frank doesn’t speak fearing Jorgenson will recognize him. Jack questions Jorgenson. He pretends to be someone else, angry that the men Jorgenson hired didn’t do the job. Jorgenson gives up everything he knows, including the name of the guy who called him.
END: They leave Jorgenson handcuffed and naked in the middle of park for the cops to arrest to get him out of the way for a while.
-
What I learned from this assignment: Jump in, the water’s fine. Here’s where the story starts to really move.
ACT II Scene 1/2
BEGINNING: Olivia arrives at the White House in a limo. She is greeted by Bowen; he explains that Davies is in a cabinet meeting.
MIDDLE: Bowen takes her to the East Wing/the Residence and shows her to her suite. He tells her to make herself comfortable, and that her security clearance identification will arrive soon.
END: Bowen leaves, locking her in.BEGINNING: Olivia begins to wonder. She explores the suite. She begins to enjoy it.
MIDDLE: Davies arrives. Olivia wants to make love to him.
END: Davies balks; he tells her she has to see Munson right away.EXT. WHITE HOUSE — EVENING
Olivia emerges from a limousine at the steps to the White house. Bowen opens the car door and helps her out.
A porter takes her bags from the trunk and sets them on a cart. He wheels them around to a side door.
BOWEN
Have you ever been inside?
OLIVIA
I haven’t even taken the tour.
Bowen gestures to the tall oaken doors.
BOWEN
We’ll go in here, and your bags will
be waiting for you.
He leads her up the steps.
OLIVIA
I thought Will Davies would meet me.
BOWEN
There’s a meeting. Meetings happen
a lot in this place.
INT. WHITE HOUSE — CONTINUOUS
They enter the White House. Olivia looks around at the splendor.
OLIVIA
I always wanted high ceilings like
this. It’s so huge, I feel a little off-
balance.
BOWEN
It’s natural to feel a little —
disoriented, at first.
OLIVIA
Well, then, so far I’m natural.
Bowen chuckles.
BOWEN
That’s the West Wing over there,
where all the decisions are made.
This way is the residence. You’ll be a
few steps away from the President, in
case he needs you.
OLIVIA
This isn’t going to be by appointment?
Bowen stops.
BOWEN
Nothing in this building is like the restof the world. It may take some getting
used to.
He leads her to an elevator. An uncomfortable silence as they ascend.
They exit into a long hall, lined with tall doors.
OLIVIA
This looks like an easy place to get lost.
Bowen points at a door.
BOWEN
This is the Presidential Suite.
Right down here is where you’ll be.
OLIVIA
How many guest rooms are there?
BOWEN
In this case, you’ll be situated in the
First Lady’s quarters.
Olivia hits the brakes.
OLIVIA
Look, I’m not superstitious or
anything, but that’s a little bit
grotesque…
Bowen cuts her off.
BOWEN
It’s for proximity, nothing else. All
of the Late Mrs. Munson’s belongings
have been moved to storage. There
won’t be any reminders.
He gestures; she resumes walking, a little hesitantly.
Bowen opens a door. Olivia steps through cautiously, looking about.
INT. FIRST LADY’S SUITE — CONTINUOUS
The dressing room is the size of her apartment. Olivia shivers, crosses her arms for warmth. Bowen notices, cranks up the radiator.
OLIVIA
Is it always this cold?
BOWEN
No one’s been in here for a few days.
Olivia peeks around corners.
BOWEN
There are no ghosts.
OLIVIA
Keep telling me that.
Olivia spots her luggage near a massive dresser.
OLIVIA
I’ll need a ladder to get to the top
drawers in that monster.
BOWEN
Strange that the walls and furniture are
so tall, given that people at the dawn of the nineteenth century tended to be a bit short.
Except for Jefferson, of course. Here’s
a wardrobe you can hang up your clothes
in. Use the drawers at a comfortable level
for your smaller items. Adams, at five foot
seven was the first occupant of the White
House, along with his wife Abigail.
OLIVIA
Did you start here as a tour guide?
Bowen grins.
BOWEN
There’s times I wish I were one. This
job can be a little demanding. Go ahead
and make yourself comfortable. Relax,
put your things away. The bathroom’s
in there, if you need to freshen up. Through
that door, you’ll find a bed. I’ll come by
later with your security ID. Until you have
that, you don’t want to be caught roaming
the halls.
OLIVIA
Thanks for the warning. What time is —
The door closes.
A key turns in the deadbolt.
Olivia is alone.
INT. FIRST LADY’S SUITE — LATER
Olivia sleeps in darkness in a canopied king-sized bed. Doors lead to the bathroom, the dressing room, and the main hallway.
A key turns in the deadbolt. As the door opens, harsh light bathes the bed room. A man’s silhouette fills it, closes the door, and reaches out in the shadows.
Olivia bolts upright.
DAVIES
Take it easy, it’s just me.
OLIVIA
Does everyone but me have a key
to this room?
He sits down on the edge of the bed next to her.
DAVIES
You can have this one. And, I brought
your security card. It’s your hall pass.
Wear it around your neck and advertise
it to the men in the hallways and maybe
they won’t shoot you on sight.
Half-asleep, Olivia reaches for him. Her arms wrap around his neck and draw him to her.
He resists.
OLIVIA
What’s wrong?
DAVIES
You have to get dressed.
Olivia reaches for his necktie. He takes hold of her wrists.
OLIVIA
No, you should get naked.
Davies pushes her hands away.
DAVIES
Your services are needed elsewhere.
She cuddles up to him.
OLIVIA
Your room, then?
DAVIES
The Presidential Suite. Maybe you
can calm him down.
It comes crashing in on Olivia.
OLIVIA
What time is it?
DAVIES
A little after one in the morning.
Get up, get dressed, get ready.
Olivia falls back on the bed. Her hands rub her face. She nods.
I signed up for this, didn’t I?
Davies snaps on a lamp. Olivia blinks.
-
Katherine Bennett-Greer’s Act 2 Reaction to TP1
what I learned in doing this assignment is that the Act 2 Reaction to TP1 must be significant enough to put the Protagonist into a greater corner. Knowing that this is the function of the TP helped me to craft the scene.
INT. THUGS’ “HAPPY PIPES PLUMBING” SURVEILLANCE VAN – DAY
The Thugs, Thugs #1 and #2 in the front seats, and Thug #3 and Thug with the Thick Glasses in the back seat, all watch intently as Emily’s family disembarks their car.
Thug #2 picks up the binoculars and examines what they’re carrying to the school.
INSERT: BINOCULAR VIEW – Emily’s family leaving the car and stepping across the street, complete with their hands full of supplies, lunch bags and signs for “Take Your Pet to Work Day”. Emily holds Churro the Chihuahua in the crook of her arm.
THUG #2
Do you see the dog?
Thug #2 yanks the binoculars away from Thug #1. Thug #1 resists until the binoculars hit Thug #2 in the face.
THUG #2
Give me those, you moron!
Thug #2 puts the binoculars to his eyes.
THUG #1
Well, do you see it?
INSERT: Binocular view clearly shows light snowfall, and Kat and Emily’s Siblings stringing the “Take Your Pet to Work Day” banner across the wall near the signage of the school. Churro pokes his head out of Emily’s tote bag.
At eyeing Churro the Chihuahua, Thug #2 smiles a sinister grin.
THUG #2
Sure do. It’s showtime.
INT. SCHOOL OFFICE – DAY
Emily sees figures on the closed-circuit camera that covers the front door. There are three figures, wearing winter ski caps.
EMILY
Can I help you?
THUG #1
Uh, yeah, we’re here to inspect the pipes.
THUG #2
Yeah, the pipes.
EMILY
Um, just a minute.
Emily watches the security footage as,
INSERT: On the security camera footage of the front door of the school: Thug #1 hits Thug #2 on the forehead. One cap comes off, and the other cap’s pulled off in a near fight among the thieves.
Emily’s eyes widen as she recognizes these men as the Thugs from the hotel in Mexico who were following her.
INT. PRINICPAL’S OFFICE, MOUNTAIN HILL ELEMENTARY – DAY
Emily steps to the doorway of her mother Kat’s office, The Office of the Principal. It’s just big enough for a desk and a few chairs in front of the desk. A credenza behind the desk is piled high with files. Kat’s landline receiver is under pinned between her shoulder and ear; she’s on the phone.
EMILY
Mom, I…
Kat puts her finger up to stop Emily from continuing. She lifts a thick report of computer print-outs and tries to turn to a particular page but the document falls on itself.
KAT
Yes, Mr. Rodriguez, I understand. I know it’s important. We’ll make it happen. Yes..I know it’s my responsibility. I’ll make it happen. You’ll have that report on your desk as soon as possible.
Kat hangs up the phone and sits back in her chair, overwhelmed and overworked.
EMILY
Mom?
KAT
What is it, Emily?
Kat’s phone rings. She holds a finger up to Emily to wait again.
KAT
Yes, Mr. Rodriguez, page. 249, right. I see that.
Kat leafs through the pages and props her elbow between pages.
KAT
Page 174, yes. No, what would you like that to say?
Kat takes a pen and frantically starts to write. She leans back in her chair and it loses its balance. She catches the edge of her desk before she falls completely backward. She pulls herself up again and falls back again and her legs go out like a V in front of her, as if she’s riding a bronco.
Emily shuts the door.
INT. SCHOOL OFFICE – DAY
Sadie gives a message slip to Emily. It’s Mrs. Davis, the School Secretary. She’s not coming in.
SADIE
Mrs. Davis isn’t coming in today. We’re on our own in the office.
EMILY
We’ve got a problem.
Josh, Emily’s brother, walks past the open office door.
JOSH
What?
EMILY
Well, there were these guys at the hotel in Mexico. They were following me, I mean us, I mean the dog. They work with that lady who tried to steal him at the beach, They’re here.
JOSH
Where?
EMILY
Out front.
Josh looks to the security camera feed of the front of the school.
JOSH
They’re plumbers.
EMILY
No…
JOSH
Plumbers.
EMILY
From Mexico.
Josh shrugs.
JOSH
They look like plumbers. See their van? Parked in front of the school. They’re plu-mb-ers.
EMILY
But, they were at the hotel!
JOSH
Okay, hotel plumbers. Maybe they were on vacation. I don’t know what to tell ya. I gotta finish setting up for the assembly. Mom’s counting on me. Catch ya later.
Emily looks at her dog, Churro. His head tilts sideways like he also recognizes the bad guys. Emily hurries to him and picks him up. Churro buries his head into Emily’s hair, like he’s hiding.
Emily’s face twists into a grin. She knows what to do.
Emily hits the intercom button for the front door of the school.
EXT. SCHOOL – DAY
EMILY (V.O.)
Sorry. The Principal says to give her about ten minutes and then come around to the back door of the school. Don’t come back before that. She needs to clear a path for you.
The Thugs look to each other. They look cold in the light falling snow. Thug #1 uses a hand signal to indicate drinking coffee. The Thugs NOD in agreement.
THUG #2
Back of the school. Ten minutes. Got it.
INT. ELEMENTARY SCHOOL ALCOVE – DAY
In a narrow and darkish red brick alcove that leads to a back door, Emily gets to work building a contraption that she thinks will thwart the bad guys. She places a rope around a pulley that holds a huge mesh bag of gym balls. She pulls the rope up and sets it to loosen when someone grabs the back doorknob.
She sets the contraption, and retreats through a side door.
The thugs come nonchalantly into the alcove. One of them grabs the rope. The balls come tumbling down.
INT. SCHOOL OFFICE – DAY
Emily spies the bad guys on the security camera. She calls to her siblings, who are in her mom’s office.
EMILY
Josh, Sadie!
They come running.
JOSH
What is it?
EMILY
Those guys, the plumbers, I mean the bad guys from Mexico. Look!
INSERT: SECURITY CAMERA FEED
The camera footage shows just gym balls on the alcove floor.
JOSH
It’s a bunch of balls. So what?
Emily turns red in the face.
Josh looks at Emily like there’s more to say, but he doesn’t. He beelines it out of the office. Emily goes after him.
Meanwhile, Sadie’s remains in the office. On the close circuit camera of the alcove, Sadie watches a raccoon root around the floor. Then, she sees a Thug with thick glasses come into frame. He’s holding a cro bar.
SADIE
Guys, Guys!
Emily and Josh rush in to witness the closed security camera feed.
INT. ELEMENTARY SCHOOL ALCOVE – DAY
The Thug with the Thick Glasses picks up the Raccoon to examine its face more clearly. He can’t make it out.
SPLIT SCREEN: The Racoon’s face and the Chihuahua’s face on split screens. The two pictures move towards each other until they merge into one image of the Chihuahua.
The Thug with the Thick Glasses gently puts the cro bar on top of a tall stack of wrestling mats. He picks up and holds the Raccoon well out in front of him. He jumps around triumphantly.
THICK GLASSES THUG
I found it!
The Raccoon reaches out and attacks the Thick Glass Thug’s face. He FLINGS the Raccoon up in the air and Thug #2 catches it, in time for him to face the Raccoon’s wrath. Thug #2 wrestles with it, and it flies into the hair of Thug #3. He grabs it and the Racoon clings onto his jacket, until he tosses the racoon onto a stack of wrestling mats. The Raccoon hitting the wrestling mats causes the cro bar to launch in the air and hit Thug #1 on the head.
EMILY
See, he said “I found it”.
JOSH
Yeah, maybe he meant, he found the door. All this proves is that no one should handle a raccoon. I gotta go.
Josh disappears from the doorway.
EMILY
Wait!
EXT. ELEMENTARY SCHOOL ALCOVE – DAY
One thug limps, The Thug with the Thick Glasses holds the glass lens up to try and see his reflection in the lens. He sees blood. He touches his face and stares at the blood on his hand. Thug #1 holds his head.
Thug #1 pushes the intercom button.
EMILY (V.O.)
Yes? Did you find what you needed?
THUG #1
Uh, no, but’s it’s time for our lunch. We’ll come back.
EMILY
Okay.
The Thugs fight over who gets to walk out of there first. They limp and moan, elbowing each other out of the alcove.
From the Principal’s office, Kat yells,
KAT
Sadie, come in and finish your breakfast.
Emily turns to Sadie.
EMILY
You believe me, that I saw those men before, don’t you Sadie?
Sadie looks unsure and doesn’t answer her.
SADIE
Coming, Mom.
Emily picks up Churro and cuddles the little dog to her face.
EMILY
That’s ok. They don’t have to believe me. I can handle the bad guys on my own.
-
Lori’s Reaction to TP 1
Outline Scene:
Beginning: Thomas is still in his chair.
Middle: Miriam shows up with pie, and Thomas turns it down, upsetting Miriam.
End: Miriam gets her car stuck in the ditch. Thomas helps her, and both fall in the snow and end up laughing in the process.
Scene:
INT./EXT. THOMAS’ HOUSE – NIGHT
Thomas is still in his chair when lights shine into the front window when a car pulls into his driveway.
Thomas SIGHS, gets up and goes to the front door. When he opens the door, he sees Miriam bundled up and trudging through the snow and balancing a pie in her hands.
THOMAS
(under his breath)
Miriam.
Thomas looks back at the closet that holds the Christmas tree and spots the partial branch and tinsel sticking out. He runs over and quickly opens the door to tuck them out of sight. He shuts the door and runs back to the front door.
From Miriam’s POV, we see a bewildered Thomas standing at the door.
MIRIAM
(under her breath)
Thomas.
BACK TO THOMAS’ POV
THOMAS
What on earth are you doing, Miriam?
MIRIAM
Now, please don’t get upset with me, Thomas. You know I bring a pie here every Christmas. It’s a tradition.
THOMAS
You shouldn’t have got out in this weather. I already told you not to come. I don’t need pie.
MIRIAM
No one needs pie, but I wanted to bring it just like I do every year.
THOMAS
It’s very charitable of you, but I’m sure there’s a family in town you could give it to that would appreciate it.
MIRIAM
You don’t appreciate me?
THOMAS
Of course, I do. That’s not what I meant.
MIRIAM
Every year I bring pecan. I thought it was your favorite.
Thomas gets an uncomfortable look on his face.
MIRIAM
(gasps)
It was Joan’s favorite. Wasn’t it?
Miriam grows more upset by the moment.
THOMAS
It’s alright, Miriam. I’ll take the pie.
MIRIAM
No, no,… I’m sorry.
Miriam practically runs back toward her car with the pie still in hand.
THOMAS
Miriam.
Miriam puts the pie in the backseat of her car and rushes to get in the car to make a quick getaway, but her car slides sideways in the snow and gets stuck in the ditch.
Miriam hits the steering wheel in exasperation.
MIRIAM
(to herself)
What have you gone and done now?
Thomas appears in his coat and holding a shovel.
Miriam rolls down the window.
MIRIAM
I’m afraid I’ve made a mess of things.
THOMAS
You’ve done nothing wrong.
Thomas digs out the lodged snow behind the back wheels of Miriam’s car.
Miriam rolls the window up and nervously taps on the steering wheel.
As Thomas walks back around to her window, he slips and falls.
Miriam jumps out of the car to help him, and she falls too.
They lay there stunned for a moment, and then they both have a good LAUGH.
THOMAS
We’re getting too old for this. Next time I’ll just take the pie.
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