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Post Day 16 Assignment Here
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Bernadette Wilson – Lesson 16 Finish ACT 2
What I learned from this lesson is that I need more scenes and justifications, but have to press on to Act 3
PLACEHOLDER:
INT. DR. SONYA’S OFFICE – NIGHT
There could be a cop undercover that poses as a patient and finds out info about Dr. Sonya, now that Brinda is out of the experiment.
A fake patient comes in and Dr. Sonya figures it out.
Dr. Sonya figures it out. – Nice try.
INT. – SHOOTING GALLERY – DAY
Shooting range where Cal takes Brinda.
Cal hands Brinda a gun. She can barely hold it. She’s shaking a little because it’s loaded.
CAL
It’s ok. It’s just a gun.
BRINDA
And it’s loaded?
CAL
Yeah.
BRINDA
Oh boy
CAL
It’s ok – Just breathe. Like it’s part of you.
Brinda breathes in.
CAL
Now try to hit the mark.
BRINDA
Kind of far away.
CAL
Maybe. Hold it with both hands. Focus your eye on the target.
BRINDA
Target.
CAL
In the heart or head to kill. In the knee to hurt.
BRINDA
Ok.
Brinda shoots for the heart and it is a bullseye.
CAL
Jeez
Brinda can’t believe it either.
They pull the target further away. Brinda shoots again. BULLSEYE.
CAL
I don’t believe this. You sure you’ve never done this?
BRINDA
Positive.
CAL
To himself – A natural.
Cal takes the gun from Brinda’s hand and puts 2 more bullets in it.
CAL
Here. Take it home.
BRINDA
I don’t want to take this home.
CAL
I think it’s a good idea. When you get home unload it.
Brinda takes the gun reluctantly.
INT. BRINDA’S APARTMENT LOBBY – NIGHT
Brinda goes to the mailbox again. No mail from anyone or from Mimi.PLACEHOLDER:
INT. BRINDA’S APARTMENT – NIGHT
Maybelle is doing up Brinda’s hair and makeup.
Has to be a little bit of some comic timing here to give the audience a bit of a break.
MAYBELLE
No more frizzy hair. Now we have dippity do
BRINDA
I hate that stuff.
MAYBELLE
Works like a charm baby.
INT. BRINDA’S APARTMENT BEDROOM – NIGHT
Phone rings
Brinda, asleep with curlers in her hair goes to answer it with the dippity do in her hair.
BRINDA
Hello?
There is a woman crying on the line.
WOMAN’S VOICE
Please, don’t let them hurt me.
BRINDA
Who is this?
WOMAN’S VOICE
Please, please. They’re out to get me and you.
BRINDA
Who is. Who is out to get you?
WOMAN’S VOICE
You’ll see. Don’t let them do it.
The PHONE CALL ENDS
BRINDA
Hello, Hello!
Brinda puts the phone down and now can’t sleep. She’s terrified. She goes into the drawer and takes out the gun.
She keeps the gun next to her bed, still unloaded.INT. POLICE STATION – NIGHT
Cal is dressed up as undercover business man.
The police still think that it is a drag queen, meaning a man who is seducing men to their fate.
BOSS
Whoever we’re looking for, keep your eyes tight.
CAL
This is going to not be tight if there’s a million marilyn’s we’re looking at.
INT. GENTLEMEN’S CLUB – NIGHT
Brinda is walking around in her outfit as cigarette girl
BRINDA
Cigars, cigarettes – tipparillo.
Maybelle is dressed in drag behind the bar.
PLACEHOLDER:
This is a major scene where there are showgirls and men everywhere. One of the guys who is not undercover gets fresh with Brinda. Brinda does not know how to handle it.
Someone else gets hurt. Someone recognizes Brinda.
“Hey did not know you worked here.”
It turns into Mayham and it goes wrong and the police are called.
MAybelle might kick someone’s ass too like Brinda. They blow cover and get in trouble.
Cal is really pissed. He starts yelling at Brinda and Maybelle.
What they realize is that there is no killer there. A call comes in.
TP – another murder of the ATTORNEY has happened at another club.
PLACEHOLDER
I could intercut with Mimi at another club. We think it’s the same club but it’s not.It’s a completely different club where Mimi is hanging out with the ATTORNEY.
PLACEHOLDER
Cal is really pissed at this because the police are laughing at him. He’s a proud man.
PLACEHOLDER
We need a scene where they figure out that Mimi is after anyone close to Brinda.
TP – They realize that it’s someone who knows or who is close to Brinda. The cops start really moving in and investigating what they can find.Key # 3
INT. BRINDA’S APARTMENT – NIGHT
Brinda comes home and can’t wait to get out of the stupid outfit she’s got on. She feels as hopeless as ever. The plan of the cops did not work.
She gets a phone call of a woman crying. The woman says to meet her at the automat. The doorbell buzzer rings.
Brinda wants to know who is it? – It’s Cal.
CAL ENTERS. WANTS TO BE SURE SHE’S OK AND THAT HE’S SORRY WITH WHAT WENT DOWN.
Brinda tells him of the phone call. CAl says we can try to have it traced. What did it sound like. The voice – It sounded like a woman crying.
He’s beginning to like her. But she is reluctant. She’s has very little faith in men who are interested in her. Except for Jesse who was her protector.
He tells her his wife left him. Almost as if he becomes the patient.
Brinda says there’s no shame in talking about who you are.
Cal say, “so why don’t you?”
Do they hatch a plan together or on her own. Why doesn’t she tell Cal about the phone call?TP:
Cal wants Brinda to go into Dr. Sonya’s files and see if the killer is in there.
Brinda says, that’s impossible. None of the patients that are part of the group are violent. None of them.
Maybe some of the people of the hetero variety are but I did not interview them.
Cal wants the files. Brinda can get them.
She decides to do it herself and go to the automat. – With Maybelle.
Maybelle goes with herKEY POINT #4
After Brinda and Maybelle goes to the automat, something goes really wrong.
Brinda goes to the automat. She sees Dr. Sonya there. Dr. Sonya puts a nickel in one of the slots and opens the slot.
It is rigged. It shoots out some kind of liquid that goes right into her face.
Brinda catches her in time. Maybelle goes over and helps Dr. Sonya. Brinda tells Maybelle to call the police. She tells someone to call the police.
She then runs behind the counter at the automat. There is no one there but an old woman who is replacing the automat windows.
She can’t find anyone. She runs out the back by the alley and sees someone running away. Does she take out her gun? Not yet.
It looks like a woman with blonde hair.
INT. HOSPITAL – NIGHT
Dr. Sonya is healing in the bed.
Her eyes and head are covered in bandages as she talks to Brinda.
Dr. Sonya is happy to be alive. She’s happy she did not look all the way into the automat window otherwise she would have lost both of her eyes.
Brinda finds out that Dr. Sonya was called to go there.
Brinda asks, By who?
Dr. Sonya – The crying woman.
Brinda
Do you know her?
BRINDA
She told me to meet there as well.
Dr. Sonya is in pain and groggy.
BRINDA
Do you know her?
DR. SONYA
Please.
BRINDA
Why did she want me to see you hurt?
DR. SONYA
I can’t….
BRINDA
Please tell me.
DR. SONYA
She’s your…
BRINDA
Who is she?
The power goes out in the hospital. When the lights come on,
Sonya is either gone or almost dead.
Need to keep her alive.
INT. NYU – DR. SONYA’S OFFICE – DAY
Brinda goes tracing through the files. She can’t seem to find anything that the police have not found.
She gets another phone call from the crying woman that tells her to dig deeper.
All hope is lost almost but then, she finds a secret file at the back of Sonyya’s desk.
It’s a file of Brinda when she was at the mental institution with Jesse.
TP:
SHE THEN FINDS THE FILE ON HER MOTHER. WHAT HAD HAPPENED TO HER. HOW SHE WAS LOBOTOMIZED AND THEN DIED TRAGICALLY IN THE SAME MENTAL INSTITUTION THAT BRINDA ALMOST GOT LOBOTOMIZED IN.
But Dr. Sonya stopped Brinda from being Lobotomized as well as Jesse. Why could Sonya not save Brinda’s mother?
Is this person from the mental institution getting revenge?
Did this person know Brinda’s Mother and why is she taking revenge now?
Is it a man or a woman? Is it a Man dressed as a woman.
INT. CAL’S DESK – POLICE DEPARTMENT – DAY
CAL IS SITTING AT HIS DESK LOOKING AT AN EDITED VERSION OF THE FILE. BRINDA HAS KEPT ALOT FOR HERSELF.
CAL
HOW WOULD WE KNOW?
BRINDA
We have go up there and start asking some questions. Maybe there was a friend of my mother’s who was there, who knew and saw what happened to her.
CAL
Why would they want to take revenge now, so many years later.
BRINDA
Maybe they just got out. Trust me. They keep people in there longer than they should.
CAL
It doesn’t make sense.
BRINDA
It makes perfect sense. This person is protecting me. They’ve come after every person I know or love.
CAL
What?
BRINDA
Maybe they’re coming after me next.
CAL
They would have by now.
BRINDA
THe crying woman is talking to me.
BRINDA
She tells me where to go and then tries to kill my mentor in front of me? Is she threatening me or warning me?
CAL
We have to get a warrant.
BRINDA
She hasn’t come after any of my friends, just authority figures.
CAL
You mean…
BRINDA
People in power. Jesse was a person of power in my life. Dr. Sonya, The Attorney?
CAL
What about the other guy in the caberet.
BRINDA
I think that was just to get us off the scent.
CAL
Well, I’m out of ideas.
BRINDA
I think it’s the best we can do now.
CAL
Yup.
PLACEHOLDER:
BOSS puts a stop to going up there. That’s grabbing at straws.
This is where maybe Brinda and Maybelle can look through the files and find something on Jesse and his father and the boss.
Also find out what role the BOSS played in Brinda’s father’s death.
How they were all in it together. That maybe Jesse’s father was having an affair with Mimi – Brinda’s mother and Jack found out about it.
That Jesse’s father paid BOSS to bump off Jack Cage and made the BOSS the head honcho down at the police department.
Bernadette Wilson – Lesson 15 – The Midpoint
INT. HOSPITAL – NIGHT
Brinda is sitting outside the hospital room of Sonya’s. Cal brings Brinda a cup of coffee.
CAL
She’s in bad shape but the doctors say she’ll be fine.
BRINDA
They’re getting closer.
CAL
Can you remember anyone. A client, a person part of the study that might want to do this.
BRINDA
They’re telling me something.
CAL
What? What are they telling you.
BRINDA
The person wants me to see that?
CAL
They’re getting cocky. And it didn’t work. Almost did.
BRINDA
I don’t know what the message is. Do they want to kill me? Get back at me some how?
CAL
For what? Don’t be silly. They trust you.
BRINDA
Trust me?
CAL
They want you to get close to them and then let you witness a killing to help them?
BRINDA
It’s not easy like that. It’s more. They want more than just speaking to me. They want revenge, somehow. From my mentor?
CAL
Is anyone want your job? Was anyone jealous of your position with the Professor?
BRINDA
No, never. I don’t know anyone really, not in my class, I don’t hang with them.
CAL
There’s gotta be someone who is after the people close to you.
Brinda thinks for a moment.
BRINDA
Wait. What about…
CAL
What.
BRINDA
The mental institution.
CAL
Silver Lake
BRINDA
Yes. She worked there for years before I got there. Maybe an angry patient.
CAL
We’ve got to go there.
INT. SILVER LAKE FACILITY – DAY
Brinda and Cal arrive at the Mental Instittuion.
CAL
We’re here without the bosse’s permission so let me do most of the talking.
BRINDA
Why do we need his permission?
They enter into the Institution and are greeted by guards. Heavily guarded gated facility.
Brinda is a little nervous being there. She hated it here.
CAL
We’re here to see the administrator.GUARD
Do you have an appointment?
CAL
No, just credentials.
The guard looks at his badge and calls the administrator.
GUARD
She’ll be right out.
BRINDA
She?
Brinda turns around and looks at Cal.
BRINDA
They’ve changed administrators.
An Ver Well Dressed ADMINISTRATOR, VIVIAN PEELE comes to the front.
VIVAN
How do you do?
CAL
I’m Cal Pratner. This is…my partner, Julie.
Brinda looks at him weird but she goes along with it.
VIVAN
Will you follow me please.
INT. VIVIAN’S OFFICE – DAY
VIVAN
It’s not really our procedure to go into someone’s private files detective unless you have a warrant.
CAL
I understand that but we need to answer a few questions. A Dr. Sonya has been hurt and we need to find out who might have done this to her.
VIVAN
Dr. Sonya Vieteg.
CAL
Yes.
VIVAN
She has not been here in 4 years let alone have any clients here any longer.
CAL
Did the Doctor leave with a good record.
VIVAN
As far as I know. I came after her.
CAL
Do you know anyone who might want to have hurt her. An angry patient. Someone psychotic.
VIVAN
From what I understand Dr. Vieteg had an impeccable reputation here. She was mostly on the side of the patient.
CAL
On the side of the patient.
VIVAN
Yes, I understand that she stopped many a lobotomy that was unneccessary.
BRINDA
We’re inquiring about a Miriam Cage, who was here.
VIVAN
One moment let me check.
Cal looks at Brinda weirdly.
CAL
What? A relative?
Vivian comes back.
VIVAN
I’m sorry there was no one under that name here within the past 10 years.
BRINDA
Not here?
VIVAN
I’m sorry?
BRINDA
Maybe an alias? Another name? Someone by the name of Baker?
Vivian looks again.
VIVAN
Yes – here we are. Mary Joe Baker.
Vivian take the file out and examines it. She hands it to Cal.
BRINDA
Mary Joe Baker was not lobotimized.
PLACEHOLDER:
Cal – How would that be?
Brinda – my father would not put his last name on me. I was in here as Brinda Baker.
Cal – Why
Brinda – My Dad was ashamed I guess.
Let’s see –
They look at the file. Only Baker was not lobotomized. There is no more of a record for her.
Admin – People are either taken away by their family or otherwise.
BRINDA
So this Miriam Baker was not lobotomized and has no record of being here as of 7 years ago.
CAL
It doesn’t say anything about that nor her release.
BRINDA
What happened to her?
ADMIN
We have no way of knowing.
BRINDA
Who was the doctor attending to her?
ADMIN
Dr. Sonya Vieteg.
BRINDA
PLACEHOLDER – Perhaps in this scene we see Mimi’s file, but there’s another file of a Miriam Baker.
In Mimi’s file we see that she was lobotomized for violent tendencies and died 7 years ago here.
Mary Joe Baker was releaased but there is no record.
Perhaps Mimi ran away, but is disguised as a hospital worker/nurse and getting the drugs from this hospital.
They pass by a woman who has a bunch of files with her. She looks at Brinda and Cal as they pass by.PLACEHOLDER:
Where is Mimi getting the money for expensive up keep?
Where is she getting the drugs to poison the men?
Why can’t she get to the BOSS and Jesse’s Father – Mr. Webber?
They were part of convincing jack that she was insane and tookk her away from Brinda and her family even though it was the BOSS and Webber in cahoots.
Mimi wants revenge and she wants her daughter back.
How does she know that Jack was killed by BOSS?
Was she there and then got away?-
ACT 2 TP- Midpoint Assignment 15 and 16, N. Lucas
“What I learned doing this assignment is…?”
Dear Hal and Cheryl: don’t me mad I am looking like a schmope in this class. This story is written and I am trying my darndest to keep up with this class! I am in the middle of a move and in training for a new job… but I promise I am keeping all my lessons and will expertly execute them – “maybe not today, or tomorrow, but soon….” (you can laugh at that.. ) but I am listening to every word you say—and I am working on these lessons! Hal, you have the best voice- ever! Also—Thank you for continuing the Friday lessons! YAY!!!
1. Outline your Key Scene 4: The Midpoint.
I am not too good at outlining right now—I think I need to ‘tell the story’ before I can figure out how to outline it.
So, in this part of the story—the 5 of them: Peter, Nicky (possibly named Isabella in other episodes—because I cant decide her name) and Dan and Sandra (whose wedding is on Christmas) and Sophia—our wedding planner—all go to a Women’s Boutique named Foxy Lady Fashions—which, of course, has tropical, club attire, upscale everything and in the back—wedding dresses! I think I chose this scene as my turning point- because Peter, the main character, realizes he is falling for Nicky- the Motel manager and daughter of the motel owner. She represents fun, excitement, energy, and impulsiveness that he is becoming aware that he is missing in his life. For those that care to read it- there are plenty of typos for you to enjoy…
Hey – speaking of good times—I think we need to pick up one lucky lady and take her Foxy Lady Fashions….. they giggle and she takes off her apron to head for the door with the kids in tow. All of them with trays of decorated cookies.
Peter and Nicky return to the lobby and meet up with Dan and Sandra.
(Dan and Sandra just got through meeting up with Sophia, Nicky’s sister, who is the real wedding planner)
Everything is good then—all the plans are in place?
Wonderful—Peter you picked a wonderful place to plan a wedding! Sophia is so nice – I believe it will all be beautiful.
Sophia says: Well I’ll go get the car and we can all take a drive up to The village—I know a great place for Dresses.
Thinking that they were going to a mall or an actual bridal shop—Peter sends Nicky a questioning look – when they pull in to Foxy Lady Fashions.
“C.mon—lets go in – I haven’t been here in ages!!!” Nicky excitedly opens her car door and hops out of the car
“Nicky—this is not a bridal boutique” Peter gets out of the car- but begins admonishing Nicky for her choices—or seems to–
“Oh, heavens no—no its not, its something much better than that….” Nicky laughs racing up the stairs.
Dan and Sandra had followed in a separate car with Sophia?—they continued talking about the wedding – and they all go in to the store.
Peter: How is it that we are at foxy lady fashions.. anyway It seems like an odd place for a wedding dress…
Sophia: Let me tell you why….. “because I know the owner!” and she walks toward the back of the store where she opens a door and sees a row of wedding gowns all with plastic coverings
Sophia tells Sandra: .. your not the first woman to fall in love in paradise! And they have gorgous , on-of -a-kind pieces here…. I promise you, that!! Now… lets get you a few to try on !”
Dan to Peter: We really need to learn to trust the locals
Nicky whispered to Peter…. hey… she pulls him over to the fancy shoes. “Oooo! These are fun!”
“Do you come here often?!” haha, peter asks in a sheepish way. How do you know about this place.
“Foxy lady?! It classic. They have everything for the woman who wants to look fabulous, she can get her hair done right there. Shoes, jewelry, the perfect outfit” its all great.
“so, you come here often?!!”
“Me? No. afraid not. Im a little busy—and quite frankly—haven’t had a date in a while”
{Banter about dates and ex-loves}
Nicky tried on some high heels. And began scoured over dresses on a rack. A sales lady brought over earrings and a necklace to match “these are beautiful!” She exclaimed, smiling. I haven’t been here in ages! This place is so fun! I forgot how fun it was!! It’s a place where you dream about fancy dates and yacht parties! She said, laughing!
“What about you? Who is your date to the wedding? Is she flying in on Thursday?”
“Me, no. Im not really the dating type.”
Nicky shook her head backing up a half step. “What? That’s an odd thing to say. I mean … you don’t really have to be a ‘type’ do you? You just haven’t found the right woman?
“Well, the last girl I dated nearly broke me. I guess my choices over time have not been worried about how much cash I spend on them.
“I see. A bit guarded are we?”
Peter stammered… “well, wouldn’t you be?”
“Shh! I love this song!” Immediately Nicky began swaying her hips to the 80s beat of ___(?)
Listen. I think I want to buy this dress. Im going to go try it on.
Peter made his way to where her sister and Sandra stood before three large mirrors where Sandra had found the perfect dress. It was three quarter length with a short lace train. Peter had never seen anything like it, yet it stated beach elegance. The sales woman waited on her hand and foot and brought her a double strand of Mikimoto pearls and clasped them around her neck..
She slid into the perfect white silk kitten heeled sandals and stood before the mirror giggling.
“well, peter, what do you think?” sister asked at the same time Nicky waltzed out of the dressing room in a beautiful wrapped seafoam dress, with chunky copper jewelry earrings and a necklace with inlaid turquiois e stones. The turquois sandals match exquitily.
Peter’s head turned instantly to the bride – “you look…” and in an instant Nicky appeared at his side, with heel brought her to his eyes . the seafoam green brought out her beautiful blue eyes where she stared at Sandra enveloped in elegance. “oh my word, Sandra! You look….”
Peter turned to Nicky there beside him, taking in her auburn hair, fair skin and deep blue eyes, glowing in happiness from the music and the dress and realized what he had been missing.
“beautiful” he said. Right into Nickys ear.
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Hi nancy – you put the reply within my email. You need to put it in the red reply button at the right top of page in order for Cheryl to see it.
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Karin Hallén has completed Act 2 Draft 1
What I learned doing this assignment is that I overwrite when I write fast, but that it’s easier to remove than to add. I also learned that some of the important dialogue that needs to go in this act can not be rushed and I simply don’t have it yet. It’s there but I can’t reach the right words yet. I have the ideas, but not the phrasing. And I am learning that it will have to be ok to move forward before I do have it. I am learning to trust that it will come after some time of processing and percolating in the back of my mind, even if I don’t sit and fret over it and refuse to move on before I “get it”.
Act 2.
INT. HOTEL BAR – NIGHT
George sits at the middle of bar with a scotch in front of him. He’s the only one there except a woman, REBECCA, 40s at the end of the bar. George downs his scotch in one sweep.
GEORGE
Another one, please.
The bartender fills his glass. George sweeps that one as well.
GEORGE
One more.
The bartender hesitates, but then fills his glass.
Rebecca stands up and passes George as she heads for the Ladies Room at the other end of the bar. There is a book sticking up from the purse hanging on her shoulder.
While she is gone George finishes his fourth drink.
A few minutes later Rebecca exits the ladies room. She stops and bends down next to George. As she does, the title of the book in her purse becomes visible. It’s George’s book. He doesn’t notice it. Rebecca holds up a sock (the sock he held in his hand while sitting on the bed earlier)
REBECCA
Hey. You dropped this.
George recognizes his dirty sock.
GEORGE
That’s not mine.
REBECCA
It just fell out of your pocket.
George stands up, very drunk. He takes his sock.
GEORGE
Pocket schmocket. I want to sleep with you. I know you want to sleep with me. Please, want to sleep with me.
George leans in towards Rebecca to hug her, sock in hand. She jerks back. George thinks is the sock.
GEORGE
I’m sorry my sock is dirty. I don’t know why I had it in my pocket. Geena… She… My underwear are clean. They are much whiter. Like your teeth. You should sleep with me now. Right now…
George purses his lips for a kiss, falls down on the barstool again and zonks out, his head hitting the bar.
Rebecca and the bartender look at each other and then resolutely grab George under one arm each and half drag, half carry him out of the bar.
INT. CONVENTION CENTER – DAY
George arrives straight from traveling with his carry on suitcase and box of books. He struggles to carry the box with one hand. He looks worse for wear, severely hangover. He stands in line to check in at a check-in table. A young perky girl, SARAH, 23 is checking in, in front of him. She hands her ID to a CONVENTION EMPLOYEE.
SARAH
I’m checking in for Mr Brad Brightly.
CONVENTION EMPLOYEE
And who are you?
SARAH
I’m his assistant, Sarah.
The Convention Employee hands Sarah two badges. Sarah leaves. The Convention Employee turns to George.
CONVENTION EMPLOYEE
And who are you checking in for?
GEORGE
George Wallow.
CONVENTION EMPLOYEE
And who are you?
GEORGE
George Wallow.
The Convention Employee eyes him.
CONVENTION EMPLOYEE
And just one badge? No assistant?
The comment triggers George’s insecurity and an uncomfortable look washes over his face. He glances looks around while waiting. He notices several other speakers/exhibitors in line behind him having assistants helping them carry and waiting to check them in.
George starts laughing an unnatural laughter and turns around to make sure other people around him understands how ludicrous the Convention Employee’s comment is.
GEORGE
Of course I have an assistant! I’ve had an assistant for years. I gave her the morning of to sleep in. I pride myself in being a kind and generous employer.
CONVENTION EMPLOYEE
Ok, so she will be here later?
GEORGE
Of course! Very soon.
CONVENTION EMPLOYEE
And what’s her name?
GEORGE
Uh?
CONVENTION EMPLOYEE
Her name? For the badge.
GEORGE
Uh…, uh… Geena
CONVENTION EMPLOYEE
Geena what?
The growing line of people waiting behind George is getting impatient. George grasps for a name. He spots an ad in the convention program on the table. The ad is for Mr Woo’s Modern Chinese Cuisine.
GEORGE
Woo.
The convention employee hands George two badges. He struggles to take them while lifting the box of books and removing his suitcase out of the line. George steps to the side by a window and puts his box of books down. He paces for a minute. He spots Brad Brightly in the distance meeting up with Sarah, getting his badge. They walk together into the convention, talking, smiling.
George takes his books and carry-on and resolutely heads for the Men’s Room.
INT. CONVENTION CENTER – MEN’S ROOM – DAY
George locks himself in the handicap stall. He takes the lamp out of his carry on bag and rubs it. Geena appears. She immediately pinches her nose.
GEENA
Ewww… What kind of a hotel is this?
GEORGE
You’re supposed to say “Your wish is my command!”
GEENA
You just told me you’re not going to wish anyway.
GEORGE
What if I am?
Geena perks up.
GEENA
Are you?
GEORGE
Yes. It’s your lucky day. I have my second wish. I wish, no, I command you to be by my side and help me with anything I ask for at any time I demand it.
GEENA
What, no! That’s not… As…
Geena being forced to answer with an “As you Wish” genie style tries to hold in her response. She purses her lips and uses her fingers to hold her lips shut, to no avail. She can’t stop herself.
GEENA
…you wish.
GEORGE
Yes!
GEENA
Nooo! Almighty creator in genie heaven, please help me!
INT. CONVENTION CENTER – DAY
People look funny at George and Geena as they exit the Men’s Room together.
INT. CONVENTION, LECTURE HALL – DAY
George speaks about his book at a seminar. Geena sits by a small table with books by the side of the entrance.
GEORGE
And when you’re ready to purchase the book, which I assume is right now, my assistant Geena is more than happy to help you.
George emphasizes the word assistant.
An ASIAN MAN walks up to the table where Geena sits. He looks at Geena’s name tag.
ASIAN MAN
Ms Woo? You don’t look like a Woo. Where are you from?
GEENA
Adopted.
ASIAN MAN
Oh, I’m sorry.
GEENA
For my name? Me too!
The Asian man looks confused. He picks up a book.
ASIAN MAN
No, no of course not. I meant sorry for prying. I didn’t mean to be rude. What are your thoughts on his book?
GEENA
Haven’t read it.
ASIAN MAN
You haven’t read it?
GEENA
Would you read a book by someone with his communication skills?
The Asian Man reacts to her comment and puts the book back on the table. Only two other attendees are in line to buy the book and they also hear Geena’s comment. The leave the table mumbling to each other.
ATTENDEE 1
Makes sense.
ATTENDEE 2
Yeah, I’m gonna hold off.
No books are sold. George and Geena are left alone in the room.
GEORGE
You haven’t read it! You haven’t read it!!
GEENA
I haven’t.
GEORGE
You are supposed to help me!! Not sabotage me. You are my assistant. Effing lie and say the book is great!
GEENA
I don’t lie.
GEORGE
You just said you were adopted!
GEENA
Which I in a way I am every time someone finds my lamp and rubs it. I’m kind of adopted by you until you’ve made three wishes.
GEORGE
Aaarrgh! What the f.. am I going to do?
George paces angrily. Geena suddenly becomes very friendly.
GEENA
You could always ask for your last wish and be rid of me.
George stops in his track.
GEORGE
Oh, oh, so that’s where you’re going? I should have known. Well, in your dreams, Ms. Woo. Not a chance until you help me for real. Like an actual assistant. Pack up! Oh, and we’re playing tennis this afternoon.
George storms out of the room. Geena sighs, tiredly.
EXT. CONVENTION CENTER
George and Geena walk towards an Uber pickup spot. Geena carries all the books. They bicker like an old married couple.
GEENA
Woo! What the heck kind of name is that anyway? Sounds like half a dog’s bark.
GEORGE
You are from the Far East aren’t you?
GEENA
Far East? Everything is East of here. The globe is round. Everything is East, everything is West. And if you ask most people “Far” is an hour away.
GEORGE
You’re the most obnoxious person I’ve ever met.
GEENA
Good, so get rid of me.
GEORGE
You have no idea how tempting that sounds. I can’t. Having an assistant boosts my brand worth. Business comes first. Image is everything.
An Uber pulls up and they get in.
INT. UBER – DAY
GEENA
You know that maybe if you stopped lying about everything you would have real friends and a real assistant and not have to keep me prisoner to keep someone around.
The UBER DRIVER, bearded, 50s, listens up at the word “prisoner.”
GEORGE
I don’t lie.
GEENA
You don’t? Everything you say about yourself at your lectures is fabricated.
GEORGE
Is not!
GEENA
Is too! You speak about loneliness and you don’t have any friends. Everything you warn people not to do are the things you do.
GEORGE
I have tons of friends.
GEENA
So call them to play tennis with you. Instead of forcing me.
The Uber driver listens up again at “forcing me.” George looks flustered.
GEORGE
They have jobs. They can’t just leave town and come play with me.
GEENA
Right. And they can’t ever answer when you call either. Right?
Geena reaches over and snatches George’s cell phone and opens it.
GEORGE
Stop! If you don’t stop I’m going to lock you in the lamp and throw you at the bottom of the ocean! And nobody will ever find you!
The car comes to a screeching halt.
UBER DRIVER
That’s it, I’m calling the Police!
GEORGE
What?
UBER DRIVER
You are a wife abuser!
GEORGE
That’s not my wife that’s my… tennis partner.
UBER DRIVER
I don’t care who she is, you’re treating her like shit. For all I know you you’re a serial killer. Do you want me to call the Police Ma’am?
Geena hesitates for a moment. George looks bewildered and resigned. A hint of pity washes across Geena’s face.
GEENA
Nah, it’s alright. He has poor social skills. He doesn’t know better.
UBER DRIVER
You sure? At least move up here with me.
Geena moves up front with the Uber Driver. They chat and quickly seem to get along greatly. They smile and glance at each other. There is no doubt that there is a bit of a flirt going on between them. They seem to have completely forgotten that George is in the backseat.
EXT TENNIS COURT 2 – DAY
George and Geena play tennis furiously, looking like they want to kill each other. Geena is a much better player now and gives George a tough match.
After the game they run into Brad Brightly and Nick.
BRAD
Hey, George! Are you speaking at the wellness convention, too?
GEORGE
Yup. I wasn’t going to, but they called and begged me, so…
BRAD
Right. So who is this lovely lady?
GEORGE
Oh, this is my full time tennis partner, Geena.
GEENA
Hello. And thank you.
Brad and Nick exchange a look.
NICK
I thought you called your tennis partner “he” last time we met.
George scrambles for an answer.
GEORGE
Well, look at her. I mean I always thought of her as masculine and…
Brad and Nick give George an incredulous look.
GEORGE
Well, she used to be a man! She had a sex change.
Geena looks shocked. Brad and Nick embrace her.
NICK
Omg, I’m so happy for you.
BRAD
That’s so brave. Being true to yourself no matter what the world says.
GEENA
Uumm, thank you.
BRAD
It took forever for us to come out publicly. You know with my career at stake and everything. But you have to be honest.
GEORGE
Come out? You? You mean you two…?
BRAD
Yeah, what did you think?
NICK
You didn’t really think I was just his full time tennis partner, did you?
BRAD
Of course he didn’t. Hahaha, who’d have the time for that when you have a career…
George’s loses his face.
BRAD
…omg, you did, didn’t you?
There is an awkward silence.
NICK
Anyway, we should get going. Geena it was so nice meeting you.
Nick and Brad both hug Geena again.
BRAD
Yes, you are a true inspiration. Do you want to be a guest speaker at my seminar?
GEORGE
She doesn’t have time. She’s my assistant. Tennis partner, assistant.
BRAD
Oh, of course, sure. Maybe another time then?
George pulls Geena away before Brad has finished his sentence. When they have passed a corner he stops. He waves down a cab.
GEORGE
I can’t even stand seeing you for another cab ride right now. Find your own way back to the hotel. And your lamp. I’m going for a walk.
George pays the cab driver through the window and gives him the address.
GEORGE
Just take her there and don’t stop anywhere else, no matter what she says.
INT. BOOK STORE – NIGHT
George, still in tennis clothes, wanders into a bookstore. He goes to the personal development/self help section. He looks at the shelf where the books by writers whose last names start with W sit. He pushes books aside to make space where “Wa” (for Wallow) would be. He fantasizes.
GEORGE’S FANTASY:
The shelf is full of his books. People are crowding around him as he stands there, all reaching in front of him and around him to grab his book. They fight over it. A hurried SALESWOMAN appears with a cart containing more of his books.
SALESWOMAN
We just keep enough in stock. They just fly off the shelf as soon as we put them out.
A crowd of excited people reach out and grab all the books straight from her cart. George hears a voice.
REBECCA (O.S.)
Excuse me. Sir?
Still in his fantasy George imagines she is reaching for his book.
GEORGE
You’re too late.
END GEORGE’S FANTASY
REBECCA
I’m what?
George is jerked back to reality and spins around facing Rebecca.
GEORGE
What?
REBECCA
You! You’re the guy from the bar at the hotel in Baltimore.
George looks confused.
REBECCA
With the sock. Oh, you probably don’t remember, you were so drunk. Me and the bartender helped you to your room. I hope you were ok the next day.
GEORGE
Umm, sure. Thanks. I guess.
REBECCA
You were really endearing actually, with your sock. What a coincidence that we meet here again. Must be fore a reason. Judging from your standing in this section I’m assuming you might be in town for the health and wellness convention.
George notices that an author is setting up for a book signing over by the entrance to the store. He pays more attention to this than he does to Rebecca.
GEORGE
Uum.
REBECCA
Hey I’m looking for more books by a writer I just discovered by chance. I found this great book in the “take for free” pile at that hotel in Baltimore. It has some really profound insights on loneliness. And there is so much real pain in it. You can tell that the writer is trying to cover it up, like faking it but I think he’s doing that on purpose, to illustrate. Because it’s so transparent. And it really works.
George notices that a local reporter enters the store and approaches the author setting up for the book signing. Rebecca tries to look around George on the shelf behind him.
REBECCA
I wanted to see if he has written more. It should be right behind you. Have you ever heard of…
GEORGE
Excuse me.
George quickly pushes past Rebecca and hurries towards the front of the store before Rebecca gets a chance to finish her sentence.
REBECCA
…George Wallow?
George approaches the reporter at the front of the store.
GEORGE
How about you interview me while this guy is setting up?
Rebecca, too far away to hear what is being said in the front of the store, sees the empty space on the shelf where George made room for the books he fantasized about sitting there.
REBECCA
(to self)
Wa. Probably sold out.
In the front of the store George gets into a fight with the store manager and the author who’s there for the book signing. The manager shows him the door.
INT. HOTEL ROOM 2 – NIGHT
Geena sits on the bed. She tests the springiness of it. She looks mighty pleased at for the first time being in a hotel room alone and out of the lamp. She lifts up the lamp and eyes it.
GEENA
Don’t you think I’m gonna go back into you, a minute before I have to!
Geena explores everything. The microwave, the mini bar, the TV with its remote control. The TV perks her interest. She lays down on the bed and flips channel. She finds room service on the remote. She reads the instructions and the menu. She makes sounds of delight as she reads the food options.
GEENA
Oh. Aaah. Oh, that sounds so good. Let’s see, how do we do this?
Geena figures out the remote and orders several dishes.
A YOUNG NERDY WAITER knocks on the door and delivers the food on a cart.
GEENA
Thank You.
YOUNG NERDY WAITER
You’re welcome.
The Young Nerdy Waiter waits for a second but when Geena doesn’t make any move to get up and tip him he leaves.
Geena thoroughly enjoys herself. She eats and watches TV.
She finds the Golf Channel. She is mesmerized. It’s showing a golf tournament taking place at a beautiful resort in Florida.
GEENA
Oh, that’s amazing. Look at that grass. So green. It must be like heaven. Oh, look at that ball. It flies. That looks like so much fun!
Geena is getting into the game more and more. She eats while watching and soon her plate is empty. She orders more food. The same Nerdy Young Waiter delivers it.
GEENA
Do you know where this is?
YOUNG NERDY WAITER
I believe it’s Florida, ma’am.
GEENA
Do you know what they are doing?
YOUNG NERDY WAITER
Playing golf.
GEENA
Golf? Golf. Golf. I like that sound. That’s what I want to do, right there, when I retire. Play golf in Florida.
YOUNG NERDY WAITER
What a novel idea.
The Young Nerdy Waiter leaves. There is a commercial for a nice restaurant on the Golf Channel and they show a gorgeous dessert.
GEENA
Oooh!
Geena finds on the room service menu again and orders several desserts.
The Young Nerdy Waiter soon appears again with a dessert cart. He hovers, still hoping for a tip.
Suddenly Geena has a revelation. She looks startled.
GEENA
Omg, I don’t think about it, I was so into this golf thing.
The waiter looks relieved.
YOUNG NERDY WAITER
It’s ok. I’m still here now.
GEENA
I’m so sorry, I should have realized when you kept coming every time I ordered you to. I didn’t think. But I didn’t know that there were any more of us left in the world.
YOUNG NERDY WAITER
What?
GEENA
I didn’t realize you were a genie. I’m sorry. And I should have know from you waiting around every time, for me to make wish, too.
YOUNG NERDY WAITER
I don’t get it.
GEENA
Don’t worry. Your secret is safe with me.
The Young Nerdy Waiter looks scared.
YOUNG NERDY WAITER
I don’t have a secret.
GEENA
Hahaha, you’re good! Come here and sit down. I won’t tell a soul. Take a break. I order you. Just kidding, you know that I know everything about what it’s like to be ordered around and fulfill everyones wishes on every whim.
YOUNG NERDY WAITER
I really have to go. My shift is over.
GEENA
Even better. Did you have dinner yet?
The Young Nerdy Waiter shakes his head. Geena makes room in the bed.
GEENA
Well, dig in!
YOUNG NERDY WAITER
If I do you promise not to tell Mr Bravado anything?
GEENA
Who?
YOUNG NERDY WAITER
My boss.
GEENA
Like I said, your secret is safe with me.
The Young Nerdy Waiter hesitantly sits down on the bed with Geena and bites into a piece of fried chicken.
INT. HOTEL CORRIDOR – NIGHT
George opens the door to Hotel Room 2. He looks right at Geena and the Young Nerdy Waiter, sitting in bed eating, talking and watching golf, having a good time.
INT. HOTEL ROOM 2 – NIGHT
George and Geena seem oblivious to the door opening.
YOUNG NERDY WAITER
So, that’s called a birdie, what he just did.
GEENA
I like it.
GEORGE
What the hell?
The Young Nerdy Waiter jumps up and freezes.
YOUNG NERDY WAITER
I didn’t do anything, I promise!
GEORGE
You didn’t do anything? You ate the whole goddamn hotel kitchen! What do you think all of this will cost. I’m ruined!
YOUNG NERDY WAITER
I didn’t sleep with her, I swear. Your wife said she would tell my boss that I stole form the bar register if I didn’t come in and eat and watch golf with her. I’m sorry, I’m just trying to pay for college.
Geena’s reacts as soon as she hears the words “your wife.”
GEENA
Eww, wife? (after the words “Your wife”)
What, stole from the bar?
GEORGE
Get out! Now! And get this whole goddamn order off my bill, or I will tell your boss everything!
The Young Nerdy Waiter can’t get out fast enough. Geena calls after him.
GEENA
Your secret’s safe with me! He’s not my husband!
INT. LECTURE HALL – DAY
This lecture hall has a real stage. George is standing in the middle of the stage, speaking to a small, yawning audience. Geena sits at the side of the stage.
GEORGE
Like I said, it’s um, like statistic shows…, this is not my personal experience of course, but nonetheless, we can see, if you look at the diagram, that many with less discipline and…and…
Suddenly George’s face gets all red and he looks extremely uncomfortable. He puts both hands across his stomach and rushes off stage.
GEORGE
Excuse me.
There is an awkward silence among the audience. After a minute people start getting restless and impatient.
An IMPATIENT MAN in the audience turns to Geena.
IMPATIENT MAN
Hey, ma’am! You, over there!
Geena looks around hoping that he was referring to someone else, but there is nobody behind her. She points at herself questioningly.
IMPATIENT MAN
Yes, you! You must have heard this seminar enough that you know it in your sleep. Why don’t you take over until he gets back?
GEENA
Uhm, I’m new.
IMPATIENT MAN
So what, just give us something. Anything is better than just sitting here waiting, wasting time.
The rest of the audience agrees in unison.
A WOMAN WITH GLASSES stands up.
WOMAN WITH GLASSES
I want to hear your own take on it, as a woman, because it seems as women we have thrived more on community and togetherness and helping each other than men have all through history. Right? So this problem hits us even harder. And potentially leaves us even further behind.
The entire audience looks expectantly at Geena.
GEENA
Uum, well…
IMPATIENT MAN
Get up on stage so we can hear you!
The rest of the audience shouts “yes” in agreement.
Geena glances at the exit, but the entire audience is between her and the door. She has no choice but to step up on stage.
GEENA
To address your take on history, when I was young, 3000 years ago…
The audience laughs.
GEENA
…first of all things didn’t move so fast, word could only travel at the speed a camel walked…
The audience laughs again.
GEENA
…which gave you time to think, you know.
PLACEHOLDER: Audience interacts with Geena.
GEENA
(Insert dialogue with witty, wise, astute observations on loneliness feelings of separation etc… here)
AUDIENCE MEMEBR
(Insert comments and questions)
Intercut above as needed.
The audience go from roaring with laughter, to nodding in agreement and making comments of approval, to back to laughing again. They break out in applause several times. Geena’s natural wisdom, insights and witty delivery are a huge success.
George hurries back from the bathroom. He hears the audience’s laughter and applause. He comes to a sudden stop at the side of the stage when he sees Geena. He stands in a spot where he can see both her and the audience but neither she, nor the audience can see him.
He gapes, shocked, as he witnesses how successful Geena is on stage. How the audience hangs on every word she says. He hears what she says and observes how she behaves. She’s the complete opposite of George.
He gets sucked into it for a second and smiles and nods at something Geena says. He quickly pulls himself back and remembers to be furious. But something in his eyes has shifted. An uncertainty. He amps himself up. He rushes out on stage and pulls Geena off it and to the side. She bows to the audience while being pulled away.
The audience keeps applauding.
A SHORT MAN sitting next to the Impatient Man leans over and whispers to him.
SHORT MAN
Obviously part of the act. Really good performances. Totally believable.
IMPATIENT MAN
Totally.
George drags Geena to the table where his books are stacked. For the first time a few books sell.
George stands over by the door as people leave and a couple of people ask him to sign their book.
INT. CONVENTION CENTER LOBBY – DAY
People talk about George’s seminar as they exit the lecture hall. They chitchat about it, mentioning liking it. A YOUNG GUY standing a few feet away, holding a program calls out to the people exiting the hall.
YOUNG GUY
Hey, how was that seminar?
SHORT MAN
It was pretty good, actually. Worth checking out.
IMPATIENT MAN
Especially his sidekick.
WOMAN WITH GLASSES
The woman.
EXT. CONVENTION CENTER – DAY
Short scene of people outside the convention center, in line at the cafeteria, at lunch tables etc, talking and spreading the word that George’s lectures are worth checking out. They frequently mention his “sidekick.
-
Mary and Rich Chamberlin Have Completed Act 2 Draft 1
What I learned doing this assignment is that pulling it all together adds an opportunity to sprinkle in the detail that brings the story to life.
1. Outline any scenes that you haven’t gotten to yet from Act 2.
INT.-SCHOOL CLASSROOM -EARLY EVENING
Jax starts to open up a little in class to Morty. The Rest of students continue to snub the two. All are asked to present their ideas. “What’s a logline? the teacher asks. “Pitch me.” Jax presents the space saga, but people look confused. Then Morty gets up, and starts to tell of “Shakespeare vs. Hitler.” The class snickers at Morty as he presents. Back at his seat, Jax gets quiet again and gives Morty the evil eye.
AND
INT – MORTY’S HOUSE – THE NEXT DAY
Jax shows up at Noon, teases Morty about his place. “I’ll clean later, I’ve been working on the script.” Jax sees picture of Morty’s wife and child, doesn’t ask. Jax sees Morty in a new light. There is more to him than meets the eye. Feels for Morty at last, intros him to dating apps, bringing in new ideas. Each starts to see his partner not as an obstacle but a collaborator.
AND
INT. – DINER – NIGHT
Jax gets a phone call and lies to his Dad, says Melanie/Kyle left, and he’s working hard with Morty – the Dad will wire him some cash. Morty “listens in”. “I thought you didn’t care about money.” Jax rebuffs him. As they become more like a team (family) they both start to care about making the screenplay be both their ideas
AND
INT. STORE – DAY
Morty buys flowers for Melanie on the way to her apt. Only plan to stay a few minutes for an errand (check) then off to the school library to work
on the sacreenplay all the way up to class time. Morty says kid by accident, owes a buck for the kitty.
2. Write out those scenes.
SCENE 1:
A INT.-SCHOOL CLASSROOM -EARLY EVENING
Morty is the first into the classroom, but instead of taking a front row seat to try to finagle his way out of this Rubik’s cube named Jax, he sits where he was before, in the back where Jax sits. He pulls out a notebook full of “Shakespeare vs Hitler” notes, and flipping to the back he starts to write. Students start to come in, filling the front rows. “Aliens at Warp Speed”, he puts at the top of page. Filling in below, all he can write is “The Aliens were at war, their leader a green zombie with a tiny bar moustache raising one tentacle in salute, as he angers the alien mob. Suddenly, Razz Matazz appears with a Ronald Ray-gun to blast the enemy. Blah-blah.” He stops and shuts the page as the teacher comes in. Were they really goinhg to write that? He leans back as Jax comes in just before class begins.
JAX: Hey, oo…, dude. Howzit? Sorry, I wasn’t a good host yesterday. First coffee and all.
MORTY: No problemo. It’s OK k…could you lend me a pencil?
JAX: Sure, whatever. I have some ideas about the aliens going into the quantum world to change the space-time continuum, a small change. We can get together again after class?
MORTY: I skipped lunch, so yeah, that works.
Morty turns to a fellow student and says Hi. The student snubs him, looking down. Nobody will make eye contact. Morty looks at his own paper shamefully.
Teacher begins. “What’s a logline? the teacher asks. Stone silence.
“Pitch me. Everybody, you know what you want to write. Come up one by one and tell me in 2 sentences. Like an elevator. You know, where they play boring Muzak?”
Jax gets up, and everyone goes “Oooohhhh” in surprise. He sits of teacher’s desk, and begins.
JAX: OK, everybody here knows “Star Bores” through Episode 27, well we’re writing “I was a Teenage Wormhole.” It’s a larger than life space saga, where lots of technical gear is used to make amazing violent things happen. Our hero is a Muon in search of an electron, and things get charged quickly.
People look confused, everyone pulls out their cell phone and starts to google those terms.
JAX: Well, I can’t tell you any more, or i’d have to kill you. Ha! Now for my partner.
Jax gets up, gesturing Morty forward. Morty stands and steps up, laughs nervously, then starts to talk.
MORTY: Anybody know who Shakespeare is?
FEMALE KID IN FRONT ROW: Duh!
MALE KID IN FRONT ROW: A Brit TV character?
MORTY: You should be Bard from class. Ar-ar-ar.
The class sits silent, then when he speaks again snickers at Morty, not in a good way as he presents.
MORTY: My Dad was a great man in the US Army Air Corps, his code name, Shakespeare. He fought the Nips in WW2,
MALE KID IN FRONT ROW: They were topless?
FEMALE KID IN FRONT ROW: That’s very unwoke.”
MORTY: Anyway, we thought he’d be a great protagonist in our screenplay.”
He drones on for another 5 sentences until the teacher clears her throat. He stops, and retreats.
Back at his seat, Jax gives Morty the evil eye.
SCENE 2:
EXT – MORTY’S HOUSE – THE NEXT DAY
Jax shows up at Noon, sees Morty has a dated but neatly landscaped small home. He rings the bell, and quickly Morty answers.
INT – MORTY’S HOUSE – THE NEXT DAY
JAX: Nice place – where’s Beaver?
MORTY: Har-har.
Jax walks to the clear-plastic covered couch, pushes aside a pile of papers and sits.
JAX: I see you’ve been working on the outline, maids day off?
MORTY: She’s getting the Ferrari washed. Didn’t you see Mabel’s bumper sticker? My other car is a Roadster. Coffee?
Morty retreats to the kitchen.
Jax looks around his living room. He picks up and looks at various awards and ribbons, including a State Good Samaritan one for Morty. He picks up
a picture of a woman and child and sets it down. There are also model airplanes intricately painted and decaled. He also sees a stack of record albums.
He shuffles through them. The Beatles, Jimi Hendrix, a de-faced Air Supply Album, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Queen – Bohemian Rhapsody.
JAX: Morty, you have the Queen Bohemian Rhapsody vinyl?
Morty pops out of the kitchen.
MORTY: My favorite. You like Queen?
JAX: Uh, yeah.
Morty pops back into the kitchen.
MORTY: Maybe we’ll put it on later, while we work… (more quiet) on Shakespeare Vs. Hitler.
JAX: (back quietly) I Was A Teenage Wormhole.
MORTY: Here’s your Joe. Lets get started on the screenplay.
JAX: Before we do, let me just show you the Dating app on your cell phone. Won’t take a minute.
MORTY: Is Bella Bustamonte on that App? I sure hope so.
JAX: We’ll see. Now…
SCENE 3:
INT. – DINER – NIGHT
Morty and Jax are back in their now favorite booth at the Diner. Jax gets a phone call.
It’s his Dad.
JAX: Hello. Dad, what’s up?
Morty peruses his notepad while Jax talks on the phone.
JAX: Uh, huh. Uh, huh. Yeah she left.
Jax listens almost endlessly to chattering on the other end. He shifts in his seat, frustrated.
JAX: No, Dad, I told you. I’m not seeing her anymore. Got it?
Listening.
JAX: Look Dad. I’m in the middle of something. I’m working with my partner on our assignment for class.
Listening.
JAX: Dad, it’s going great. I gotta’ go.
Listening.
JAX: Oh, okay. Yeah, just venmo it. Okay. Bye.
Jax disconnects.
MORTY: Venmo? Is that a lawn mowing alien?
JAX: This is a different kind of green, Morty.
MORTY: Thought you didn’t care about money.
JAX: I don’t but I need it.
MORTY: Yeah, the age-old drama of life. We’re a slave to our cash. Hey, let’s put that in the screenplay.
A time-traveling blood-sucking money grubbing alien.
JAX: Could work.
SCENE 4
INT. STORE – DAY
Morty is buying a bouquet of flowers with Jax.
JAX: You don’t have to buy flowers, Morty. I told you this is just a friend.
MORTY: Yeah, so this is the girl that you are not seeing anymore. Besides, everyone loves flowers no matter what.
JAX: I told you, we’re just stopping for a few minutes. Then, we’ll go to the school library to work. Okay.
MORTY: Yeah, yeah, whatever, kid.
JAX: Ca-ching. Dollar please.
Morty reluctantly digs in his pants pockets. Hands a dollar over to Jax
3. With those scenes done, do a quick read of Act 2 and add/improve anything you’d like.
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THIRTY DAY SCREENPLAY ASSIGNMENT #16
James E. Clark: Has completed Act 2 Draft 1
What I learned from this assignment: The process of creating the two previous exercises and then reviewing my Beat Sheet caused me to come up with new additional ideas for scenes.
Act 2 additional scenes Pre mid point
Beginning
EXT. NAVY BASE GATE – DAY
Carrie’s RV is pulling out of the gate at Port Hueneme, CA.
EXT. PACIFIC COAST HIGHWAY – DAY
Carrie is driving through the countryside north of Santa Barbara.
EXT HILLS – DAY
Carrie pulls into Ronald Reagan’s ranch Casa de La Cielo. She visits the museum.
EXT. PACIFIC COAST HIGHWAY – DAY
Carrie is pulled over just south of Big Sur and watching the ocean and waves as she eats her meal. She’s enjoying the view and serenity.
She gets out and walks a path down to the water.
INT. RV – NIGHT
Carrie is cleaning up form dinner and watching other campers at the campground move about.
Middle
EXT. CHURCH PARKING LOT – DAY
Sacramento, CA. Carrie has found a small church that needs some sprucing up. She offers to do work at not cost and she will cover materials.
Carrie replacing a door. Carrie fixing a toilet. Carrie painting a room. Carrie fixing the sprinkler system. Carrie planting flowers.
EXT. BRYCE CANYON – NIGHT
Carrie exits the RV with her coffee cup. She wanders over to the edge of the canyon and waits.
The sun starts to rise. She watches as the canyon walls change color with the rising sun. She’s satisfied.
INT. RV – DAY
Carries is driving through a rural area. She passes a private Christian school. In the front is a flag pole that is leaning with a tattered and faded US flag.
End
INT. HARDWARE STORE – DAY
Carrie has a bag of cement, a rope, a two by four and a new US flag.
EXT. SCHOOL – DAY
The flag pole is straight . It has a new lanyard and a new flag flying in the breeze
Students are standing around. The principal shakes Carrie’s hand.
Act 2 additional scenes post mid point
Beginning
EXT. WOODS – DAY
Carrie and Nelson are walking and talking
Middle
INT. FINE DINING RESTAURANT – NIGHT
Nelson slides a ring box to her. She opens it and sees it’s the same one she wore twelve years earlier.
Carrie revels her illness to Nelson. She tells him she needs to compete her journey or until she can’t do any more. He asks her to wear the ring until she is done with her journey or has to return. She says she’ll think about it – but keeps the box.
EXT. CAMP GROUND – DAY
Carrie is in Vermont in the Green Mountains. She runs into some nomads she met at her first Boondock site. They’re heads south to Florida.
Carrie’s headed north to Maine. She tells them she might see them in Florida later.
Carrie’s energy level is declining.
EXT. MOUNT KADYDIN MAINE – DAY
Carrie hikes to the top, slowly.
EXT. TOP OF MOUNT KATYDIN – DAY
Carrie looks at the panorama. There’s a plaque at the top that reads “Terminus- Appalachian Trail.
End
INT. RV – NIGHT
Carrie is reading and drinking a cup of tea. Her nose starts to bleed.
She opens her map. She has three states left, South Carolina, Georgia and Florida. She opens the jewelry box and looks at the ring. She taps her ring finger on the Florida Keyes.
-
JAYE HAS COMPLETED ACT 2 – DRAFT 1
What I learned is that even though I am pushing through the script, I am hyperaware of things I already want to change, but I will still push forward, updating as I go, and knowing I will change what has already been written in a rewrite.
INT. LOBBY OF MAYOR’S BUILDING – DAY
Hero and Villain step off the elevator. A crowd of people back away.
SECURITY GUARDS put hands on their holstered guns.Villain’s hands are behind his back and Hero walks with him, holding
Villain’s wrist.HERO
It’s okay, everyone. All under
control.The front doors swing open and TWO BLACK SUITS (40s) escort a
BEARDED HIPSTER (30s). They pass Hero and Villain on their way out.INT. HERO’S PENTHOUSE – DAY
Hero sits on the couch, head in his hands
as Villain paces incessantly. Two open beer bottles on the coffee table.VILLAIN
I don’t know what happened,
but I can’t do shit anymore.Villain grabs his beer.
VILLAIN
I tried to burn you and all I did
was see your skull. I tried breathing
under water, and I nearly drowned.
(beat)
And I need to get my money.Hero stares at the floor.
HERO
Not your money.VILLAIN
I was gonna kill a guy today and
I couldn’t.Hero looks up. Villain is disgusted.
VILLAIN
I felt bad for him.
(makes a yuck face)
What the fuck is that?!HERO
Empathy.He gets up in Hero’s face.
VILLAIN
I know what it is, asshole.
I don’t. Fucking. Want. Empathy.Villain stares daggers, then recoils.
VILLAIN
Ugh! There’s your goddamn eye
sockets again.He smacks Hero’s head and stands back up.
Villain realizes. Points to Hero.
VILLAIN
You can’t fly. That’s why you fell
off that building.Hero gives a single nod.
VILLAIN
How’s your x-ray vision doing?HERO
Hit me again and I’ll show you.Villain drops to his knees, throws his hands to the sky.
VILLAIN
I knew it! We switched!But then he smiles a little.
VILLAIN
You get the farts?Hero rolls his eyes. Grabs his beer.
HERO
How is that even a power?VILLAIN
Puts a bank full of people to sleep
in seconds.HERO
So what do you want from me?VILLAIN
Truce.Hero drinks. Laughs.
VILLAIN
‘Til we figure this out.
HERO
Work together?VILLAIN
You teach me, I teach you.HERO
Why don’t we try to switch back?VILLAIN
Okay, yeah, when there’s another
lightning storm we can go play in it.
(beat)
But unless you’ve got it all figured
out on your end, we need each other.EXT. THE LAKE – DAY
Hero and Villain in a remote area, standing at the water’s edge.
VILLAIN
Just put your head under and breathe.HERO
Bullshit.VILLAIN
I swear, that’s all I do.Hero reluctantly undresses down to his boxer briefs. He steps
carefully into the water.HERO
Don’t you walk on this?VILLAIN
One thing at a time.Hero takes another step.
VILLAIN
Get in there!Hero hesitates. Villain puts the pieces together.
VILLAIN
Oh. My. God.
(beat)
You can’t swim.HERO
I don’t need to swim. I can fly.VILLAIN
No, you can’t.Hero takes a step.
VILLAIN
But if you can’t swim, what was
that shit you were doing last night?HERO
Flying. I flew into the water
(swoops a hand downward)
and I flew out of the water.
(swoops a hand upward)VILLAIN
Oh…
(beat)
Well then just get on your hands
and knees and put your face in it.Hero crouches down. Reluctant. He sees his fearful face in the
reflection. He can’t look himself in the eyes.He slowly brings his face closer. He stares at the rocky floor of the
lake, his nose inches away from the surface of the water.Villain kneels beside him and slaps his hand on the back of Hero’s
head, shoving his face under.Hero flails and comes back up, water sputters from his lips.
HERO
The fuck!?VILLAIN
No swimming required!HERO
Don’t push me!VILLAIN
Then put your head in there
and breathe!Hero forces his face back into the water. A second later he lifts his
head and projectile vomits lake water and tadpoles.He gags, chokes, and coughs.
VILLAIN
Again!HERO
Fuck you, “again”! I can’t do it!VILLAIN
You try once and quit?
Hero gets up in Villain’s face.HERO
I can’t breathe under water! I’m
not sure how many tries I’m
allowed!Hero stands and Villain follows suit. Hero pushes him in the chest.
Villain stumbles.HERO
How ‘bout we try flying?
Another push.HERO
Just put your hands out andjump!
Another push. Villain falls into the water.
HERO
Is that all you got?Hero points to the hills.
HERO
Or how ‘bout we go to the hilltop
and I fucking push. you. off?!Villain puts his hands up.
VILLAIN
I’m sorry. I was just trying to help.Hero breathes… collects himself.
HERO
Then tell me how to do it.Villain is at a loss for words.
VILLAIN
I just… put my head under and
breathe.Hero grits his teeth and rubs his forehead. Not the answer he wanted.
He crouches down again.
VILLAIN
How do you fly?HERO
I just… raise my fist to the sky,
and I will myself to fly.Villain, still on his ass, leans in closer.
VILLAIN
It’s the same thing. Just will
yourself to breathe.Hero looks back at the water. Hovers his face over the surface.
Hero turns his head to Villain.
HERO
And don’t piss in here.Villain looks away. Hero’s order has come too late.
Hero lowers his head. Villain watches, hopeful.
Hero shoots back up, gasping, coughing, choking.
From the shore, Hero’s utility belt plays GOD BLESS AMERICA.
EXT. WHITE THREE-STORY BUILDING – DAYA sign in front reads: ADVANCED SCIENCE INSTITUTE.
People file in and out of the entrance.
MAYOR (V.O.)
We think we can replicate
what happened last night.INT. LAB – DAY
Hero and Villain lean against a counter in a sterile white room.
Mayor stands with SCIENTIST (60s), a seasoned nerd, glasses, timid,
probably has a KICK ME sign on his back. Both men wear dark goggles
on top of their heads.To the Scientist’s left are three over-sized, clear chambers.
Scientist opens the door to the chamber closest to him.
SCIENTIST
Just step inside.Hero makes the first move. Steps inside the chamber with ease.
He waits as Villain watches.Hero holds out a hand. Come on.
Villain pushes himself away from the counter and steps inside the
chamber. Scientist closes the door; latches it.Scientist walks to a panel with a giant pull-down lever. He presses
some buttons as Mayor watches beside him. Both men goggles over
their eyes.Hero and Villain stand face to face.
VILLAIN
Are you going to tell us–Scientist pulls down the lever.
LIGHTNING fills the chamber and Hero and Villain quake as the bolt
jars the shit out of them.Scientist pushes the lever back.
Lighting stops and Hero’s and Villain’s knees buckle.
Goggles up. Mayor opens the chamber door, releasing a light gray
smoke.Hero and Villain groan.
SCIENTIST
(eager)
Did it work?Hero pulls himself up. He holds out a hand to Villain and helps him
stand.Hero stares at a beaker on the counter. Beams shoot from his eyes and
the beaker explodes on impact.Hero and Villain drop their heads back.
MAYOR
I guess it wasn’t the lightning.Villain lifts his head.
VILLAIN
Wait! We were holding each
other!Mayor raises an eyebrow.
Hero raises his head. Of course!
Hero and Villain start to embrace. It’s awkward.
HERO
No your arm was around my
shoulder.Mayor and Scientist exchange looks.
HERO
My arm was around your waist.VILLAIN
What was my other arm doing?HERO
And bring your leg in.Mayor and Scientist look back at the intertwined Supers.
VILLAIN
Okay, we’re ready.Mayor latches the door shut. Takes his place by Scientist. Goggles
down.Scientist pushes buttons; pulls the lever.
LIGHTING saturates the two Supers as they hang onto each other.
Lever and goggles back up.
Mayor opens the door. Hero and Villain are crumpled against the
wall of the chamber in each other’s arms.SCIENTIST
(more eager)
Did it work?The Supers groan and sigh as they help each other up.
Villain raises a hand in front of Hero’s face.
VILLAIN
I’ll try.Villain stares at Mayor, who jumps out of the way.
MAYOR
Not me!Hero points to a cabinet.
VILLAIN
It doesn’t work. I already saw
his breakfast.Villain stands alert.
VILLAIN
Wait! It was raining!LATER
Hero and Villain sit on stainless steel barstools.
Mayor and Scientist work to fit a hose and sprinkler to the top of
the chamber.HERO
Your turn.VILLAIN
I spy… something… old.HERO
Mayor.Mayor looks at Hero.
VILLAIN
Older.MAYOR
Ooh, I know, I know.Scientist looks at Mayor.
SCIENTIST
Alright. It’s ready.Hero and Villain return to the chamber, wrapping their bodies
together. Mayor closes the chamber door.HERO
Hold me tighter.Mayor latches the door and switches on the hose. Water showers
the men in a steady downpour as Mayor takes his place by Scientist.
Goggles down.Scientist reaches for the lever. Presses buttons. Mayor holds out a
hand.Mayor asks a silent question with his eyes and Scientist nods. They
switch places. Mayor pulls the lever.LIGHTNING fills the chamber, relentless and thoroughly.
Lever and goggles up.
Mayor opens the door. Hero points to Scientist as his knees buckle.
HERO
Don’t say it.He rests his head on Villain’s shoulder. Villain’s head is already
resting against Hero’s chest.SCIENTIST
(less eager)
Did it work?VILLAIN
(to Hero)
Fucking had to say it.A loud wet fart echoes through the chamber. Hero and Villain share
a look. Hero looks at Mayor and Scientist. Defeated.HERO
Didn’t work.Scientist drops his shoulders.
MAYOR
What else can we put in
there? You were on a building.
You were fighting! Try it
again… fighting!HERO
No! No more!He drops his head back to Villain’s shoulder.
HERO
(to Villain)
Bro, it still stinks though.VILLAIN
Don’t try to make me feel
better.
EXT. COFFEE SHOP – LATE AFTERNOONHero and Villain people watch, drinking lattes.
VILLAIN
So you hesitate walking into
water, but saunter freely into
a lightning chamber. Interesting.HERO
I’ve been hit with lightning before.
I’ve never breathed water before.VILLAIN
No no no… You don’t breathe water,
you breathe while in water.Villain gets into a staring contest with a DOG WALKER (20s), walking
five small dogs.VILLAIN
Keep walking. Nothing to see here.DOG WALKER
So, are you guys friends now?VILLAIN
Beat it!DOG WALKER hurries off.
HERO
Well look at us… They don’t know.VILLAIN
Things aren’t always what they
seem. This is business.Villain looks at the crowd.
VILLAIN
It’s business!Villain sips his coffee.
VILLAIN
(continues to the crowd)
Pretty soon I’m gonna be robbing
your banks and kicking all your
asses again.
(points at an old lady)
You first!Eyes wide, the OLD LADY clutches her purse to her breasts and
scurries off. Villain turns back to Hero.VILLAIN
Don’t you ever get tired of
helping all these ingrates?HERO
I’m their hero.VILLAIN
Were there hero. You ain’t shit
now.HERO
I’m still–VILLAIN
Look at ‘em.Hero looks over his shoulder. Fans who once adored, now gawk.
VILLAIN
They don’t know what to think
of you. But it ain’t hero.HERO
They haven’t quit on me.Villain leans forward.
VILLAIN
You ever wanted to not save
someone?HERO
No.VILLAIN
Like you been saving people all
day… a fiery car crash here, a
school bus full of kids trapped
under the ice there — and you
just wanna relax and see a movie
with your girl. Maybe get some
head in the theater.Hero smiles.
VILLAIN
And then some woman comes
crying that her son fell into a well.
Don’t you ever just wanna say,
“Not today, lady, go fuck yourself!”Hero chuckles. Shrugs.
HERO
Sometimes.VILLAIN
Hey… Hit that guy.Villain indicates across the street. Hero looks. A PUNK BULLY (12)
is picking on a LITTLE GIRL (8), keeping her doll from her while
she cries.HERO
That kid?VILLAIN
Go on, help her.HERO
I don’t have to hurt him, to
help her.Hero watches the Bully.
VILLAIN
Just his knees.Hero focuses on the boy. Considers.
VILLAIN
And then–BEAMS OF LIGHT shoot from Hero’s eyes and set the kids knees
ON FIRE!Onlookers glare at Hero and Villain’s table.
HERO
And then, I’m both their hero.Villain winks and clicks his tongue. Hero dashes across the street
to the Bully writhing on the ground.VILLAIN
(over-dramatic)
Oh no, look what I did!Hero covers Bully with his cape, pounds his kneecaps a little too hard
as Bully cries out.Hero gives the doll to the little girl, then pounds Bully’s kneecaps once
more for good measure.He walks back to the coffee shop.
A BARISTA (18) watches.
BARISTA
Aren’t you gonna take him to
the hospital?HERO
Call an ambulance… I have to take
this Villain into custody.Villain stands and puts his hands behind his back. Hero grabs his wrist
and leads him out.EXT. STREET – LATE AFTERNOON
Hero and Villain walk side by side.
VILLAIN
It was fun wasn’t it?Hero says nothing. His expression is unreadable.
The LCM News building is on the opposite street corner. An
electronic message scrolls: YOUR TRUSTED NEWS SOURCE. 74 F.
6:24 PM.VILLAIN
You don’t have to say it.Three flyers on a telephone pole: The Bearded Hipster. The black
man. The Asian Man. MISSING. Reward: $10,000.Hero stops.
HERO
This you?Villain stops.
VILLAIN
Man, I don’t kidnap people.
I kill them.HERO
Who said they’re alive?Hero studies him. Unsure.
He notices the LCM scrolling message: YOUR TRUSTED NEWS
SOURCE. 74 F. 6:25 PM.HERO
Oh, shit!INT. GRAND MORITZ RESTAURANT – NIGHT
Hero and Girlfriend sit at a dimly lit table for two. PIANO music in
the background. Candles. A WAITER pours wine.Hero is in a tux, Girlfriend in a long silk dress.
Hero reaches in his right jacket pocket as the waiter nods at
Girlfriend; has nothing short of a smirk for Hero as he walks away.HERO
We’ve been together a while,
babe.She nods and picks up her wine glass.
GIRLFRIEND
It’s been a good runWith his left hand, he CLINKS his glass against hers. Drinks.
HERO
I think so too.GIRLFRIEND
Honestly, it feels like it might be
time to move on.Hero smiles, feeling a little giddy.
HERO
I’m glad you feel that way.Girlfriend is sightly taken aback.
GIRLFRIEND
You are?HERO
Yeah! We can’t keep going like
this.GIRLFRIEND
No, we can’t. I need more.HERO
Exactly. We need a change.She nods. Resolved. Now she CLINKS her glass against his.
GIRLFRIEND
A new chapter.He sets down his glass and reaches for her hand. She takes it and
smiles.GIRLFRIEND
I’m so happy right now.HERO
Darling, will you-He starts to raise the ring box from his right pocket. She exhales a
deep sigh of relief.GIRLFRIEND
I thought breaking up would
be harder than this.Hero’s smile fades.
She cuts into her steak and takes a big bite. Hero is frozen.
GIRLFRIEND
Thank you for being so good
about it.She sips wine.
GIRLFRIEND
I’m gonna miss you a little bit.INT. HERO’S PENTHOUSE – NIGHT
Villain watches the news. LCM logo in the bottom corner of the
screen.A pizza box, a six pack of beer minus two, and Villain’s feet are on
the coffee table. Two empty beer bottles next to him on the couch.NEWS ANCHOR
Occupants of the apartment and
surrounding area were evacuated
for six hours until the gas leak was
repaired.VILLAIN
Here’s your gas leak.He lifts his right butt cheek and pushes. Nothing happens.
NEWS ANCHOR
Another local citizen, Mr.–Villain grunts in disappointment.
VILLAIN
Pathetic.NEWS ANCHOR
–who was last seen riding his
bicycle near the College.Villain grabs another beer and cracks it open as a graphic of the
bearded hipster appears above the News Anchor’s right shoulder.
The same man from the lobby of the Mayor’s office.Villain squints his eyes at the graphic. Looks familiar.
NEWS ANCHOR
Any information regarding–Hero bursts in the front door, furious. Villain isn’t fazed.
VILLAIN
Aww.. she said no. Chin up,
buddy.HERO
She broke up with me. Get your
fuckin’ feet off the table.VILLAIN
Whoa, relax! I didn’t break up
with you.Villain puts his feet on the floor. Hero pulls the velvet ring box from
his pocket. He throws it into…
HIS BEDROOMThe box bounces once and pops open. A second bounce under the
bed expels the ring.The box bounces two more times, and the ring slides into an air vent
near the foot of the bed.
BACK TO THE LIVING ROOMVILLAIN
Grab a beer. Sit down.HERO
I wanna kill somebody right now!Villain stands, pumped. Turns off the TV with the remote. He punches
his hand into his fist.VILLAIN
Let’s do it!Hero spots empty beer bottles on the couch. And a beer stain.
HERO
You.
(he growls)
I wanna kill you right now.Hero charges and Villain jumps to the side.
VILLAIN
Truce!Hero dives and knocks Villain down. Punches him hard across the
face.VILLAIN
Listen, I know you’re hurting.Villain shakes his head.
VILLAIN
Fuck, I wanna hit myself!He forces inner rage and punches Hero back. Lifts a knee and jams
it into Hero’s balls. Hero winces and Villain flips him on his back.He punches Hero, left and right, across the jaw and cheeks. A punch
for every word:VILLAIN
We. Have. A. Truce. You. Dick!Hero’s eyes grow red.
VILLAIN
Don’t you fucking dare.Hero holds his gaze and Villain jumps back, as BEAMS OF LIGHT burn
two holes through the ceiling!He gets up and charges Villain again, knocking a lamp over. Villain
ducks and blocks.But a roundhouse kick to the abdomen sends Villain through the east
window!Villain grabs desperately at the window sill and barely holds on. Hero
rests his foot on one of Villain’s hands, digging it into broken glass.VILLAIN
If I fall, you don’t get shit back!HERO
Why don’t you fly?VILLAIN
I can’t fucking fly! That’s why
I’m here, goddammit!HERO
Thought it was the empathy.VILLAIN
You wanna be the hero again?
A hero doesn’t do this.Hero counts off on his fingers.
HERO
Respect. Adoration. Powers. Insane
good looks. Girlfriend.
(beat)
I’ve already lost everything.Hero pushes his foot hard into Villain’s hand, kicking it off the sill.
Villain reaches up again. But Hero’s already kicked his other hand off.VILLAIN
Fuck–EXT. HERO’S PENTHOUSE – SAME
Villain falls, gaining velocity.
He turns his body, and puts his arms forward and concentrates.
VILLAIN
Come on come on come on…And SPLAT! Face first into the sidewalk, barely missing passersby.
They scream and scatter.
Sidewalk crumpled, Villain groans and slowly pushes himself
upward, arms shaking like wet noodles.VILLAIN
Asshole.He rolls over and looks up at the top of the building. Face bloody.
Nose broken.Of course Hero is not visible on the 40th floor. Villain shouts up to
the penthouse.VILLAIN
ASS—
An empty BEER BOTTLE comes into view and hits Villain square in
the face. His head drops back on the cement.He covers his face with his arms as another bottle sails toward him.
INT. HERO’S PENTHOUSE – SAME
Hero snatches Villain’s open beer off the coffee table with satisfaction. Chugs it.
HERO
(mocking/baby voice)
A hero doesn’t do this.He lowers the bottle and sees his reflection in the mirror. He
laughs.HERO
He’s gonna tell me what a hero is.Hero stares. Frowns.
Shadows in the apartment darken parts of his face. His eyes look
stern.
Scary. His REFLECTION judges him.HERO’S REFLECTION
He’s right. You’re no hero.His reflection turns and walks away.
Hero GASPS and snaps out of it. His startled reflection staring back
proper.Hero throws down the bottle and rushes out the door.
EXT. STREET – NIGHTVillain walks down the sidewalk. His injuries are healing right before
our eyes.
Hero appears beside him. Walks in stride, says nothing.
VILLAIN
You let me fall.HERO
What’s the problem? You lived.
We both knew you’d live.Villain stops. Flabbergasted.
VILLAIN
It’s not about me living. It’s
about you lying. We had a truce.
(beat)
I trusted you. And I’ve never
trusted anyone.Villain starts walking again.
VILLAIN
And how fair is that? You can run
with bullet speed. Easy. You can
use heat vision. Easy. Farts… no
problem. You think I can fly? Ah,
no, I can go fuck myself.Hero takes Villain’s shoulder. Villain pulls away.
VILLAIN
But seeing through people’s
skin? Easy. Empathy? Easy.HERO
I’m sorry.VILLAIN
Eat shit.Villain starts again. People gather in amazement. Hero and
Villain — arguing??HERO
I’ve never felt like this before.
(beat)
I’ve never had to struggle with
rage and wanting to cause
harm. It took over. I know you
know what that’s like.VILLAIN
Well, I know feeling rage and
harm. But it’s never a struggle.HERO
Please forgive me.Gasps from onlookers. Hero and Villain — making up??
VILLAIN
I– don’t know what that means.HERO
Give me another chance.
(beat)
I promise we’ll fix this. Somehow.Villain sighs, scrapes the toe of his foot on the ground.
VILLAIN
I don’t know.HERO
I’ll never do that again.VILLAIN
I’m fucking gone for real if you do.Hero motions his head back up the street, toward his apartment
building.HERO
There’s still a few more beers.Villain smiles. They make their way back to Hero’s place as Hero
puts his arm around Villains shoulder.Onlookers exchange confused glances. Someone SNAPS a picture.
HERO
You know, you also got more
handsome.ONLOOKER
(amongst the others)
What the fuck..?INT. FASHIOS BOUTIQUE – MORNING
Girlfriend and Coworker stare at the newspaper on the counter.
Front page shows a picture of Hero and Villain from behind. Hero’s
arm around Villain’s shoulder; headline reads: HERO AND VILLAIN
LOVERS!GIRLFRIEND
This explains a lot.
INT. HERO’S PENTHOUSE – SAMEHero sleeps in the bed, Villain on the couch.
Villain’s nose curls.
VILLAIN
(sleep talking)
Alright… everyone down.Villain snores. Stirs. He opens his eyes and stretches. He chokes mid-yawn.
VILLAIN
Oh, God!
(beat)
How that not a power?He pulls up his blanket and covers his nose.
INT. LAB – DAY [PLACEHOLDER]Scientist and mayor talk.
We see Mayor’s plan to get rid of Hero, and Scientist’s ability to place lightning.
Here we learn that Mayor wants Hero dead (for reasons I am still working out) and lightning was intended only for Hero.
We see it didn’t kill Hero, but it scrambled his powers. Was this because it hit Villain too?
Mayor still wants Hero out of the picture.
I will be expanding on this, but it will likely start with something simple like Mayor is trying to advance in his career, but his low crime rate is not credited to him, it is credited to Hero. Mayor is tired of hero receiving all the credit, and simply being seen as useless. If he can get rid of Hero himself and then Villain also, the glory will finally be his.
INT. HERO’S PENTHOUSE / LIVING ROOM – DAY
Hero makes breakfast.
Villain walks in the front door.
HERO
Where were you?VILLAIN
I had to get something.Villain goes to the kitchen, visibly unsettled.
VILLAIN
I know what happened.
(beat)
You’re not gonna like it.Hero sets down the spatula.
VILLAIN
I felt something when we were
fighting. When the lightning
struck.
(beat)
The same thing happens to you
that happens to me.Villain struggles to say it.
VILLAIN
It’s exhilarating. Stimulating.Realization sets in. Hero starts shaking his head.
HERO
No.Villain just stares.
HERO
Hell no.Hero walks to the living room.
HERO
Why don’t we throw you off some
more buildings ‘till you learn how
to fly?VILLAIN
It’s not sexual.Hero snaps back.
HERO
I know it’s not sexual!VILLAIN
They touched.Hero brings his face to his hands.
VILLAIN
One more time in the chamber.HERO
Why? WHY is that the answer?!VILLAIN
Think about it… there’s no one
like us. We’re like gods. It wasn’t
just the lightning, or the rain…
something about us had to trigger it.
Something special was the catalyst.
(beat)
I don’t like it either, but what else
could it be?Hero approaches. Shoulders dropped.
He stands face to face with the villain. Softens his eyes.
HERO
So… how do you wanna do this?Villain pushes him away.
VILLAIN
Not that way!Villain takes pills out of his pocket.
INT. LAB – LATER
Scientist watches as Villain steps inside the lightning chamber. Their
boners are barely visible through their suits.Hero frowns.
VILLAIN
Come on, big guy. Get in here
and hug me.Mayor stands at the water connection. Scientist waits by the control
panel.MAYOR
So what makes this one special?HERO
It’s not special.He approaches the chamber.
SCIENTIST
So nothing’s different?VILLAIN
We were hard.Hero’s eyes go wide. He rushes inside the chamber.
HERO
–Hard-pressed to figure this out.He shuts the chamber door and Mayor latches it.
Villain open his arms. Hero takes a deep breath. Goes in for the hug.
Both men stand in each other’s arms, Hero’s ass at a distance, pressed
against the chamber wall.VILLAIN
It’s not sexual.HERO
Please stop talking.VILLAIN
Alright… on the count of three.Hero nods.
VILLAIN
One… two… three.Hero scooches his feet closer.
Finally, Villain sighs and grabs Hero’s ass, pulls him in close.
They hold.
VILLAIN
Time for our shower.HERO
Shut. Up.Villain looks at Mayor and nods. The simulated downpour starts.
Goggles down, Mayor goes to Scientist, who pulls the lever.
LIGHTNING fills the chamber. Hero and Villain hold and endure.
Lever and goggles up. Mayor opens the chamber door.
Villain looks at a cabinet with a solid door. X-ray vision reveals
supplies: beakers, test tubes, Bunsen burners.He looks at Hero, apologetic and dejected. Shakes his head.
Hero pulls back and punches Villain in the face. The back of Villain’s
head cracks the wall of the chamber.Hero storms out.
Villain steps out.
VILLAIN
Thanks, guys.As he passes, the Mayor takes Villain by the arm.
MAYOR
Let’s talk.<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>JAYE HAS COMPLETED ACT 2 – DRAFT 1What I learned is that even though I am pushing through the script, I am hyperaware of things I already want to change, but I will still push forward, updating as I go, and knowing I will change what has already been written in a rewrite.
INT. LOBBY OF MAYOR’S BUILDING – DAY
Hero and Villain step off the elevator. A crowd of people back away.
SECURITY GUARDS put hands on their holstered guns.Villain’s hands are behind his back and Hero walks with him, holding
Villain’s wrist.HERO
It’s okay, everyone. All under
control.The front doors swing open and TWO BLACK SUITS (40s) escort a
BEARDED HIPSTER (30s). They pass Hero and Villain on their way out.INT. HERO’S PENTHOUSE – DAY
Hero sits on the couch, head in his hands
as Villain paces incessantly. Two open beer bottles on the coffee table.VILLAIN
I don’t know what happened,
but I can’t do shit anymore.Villain grabs his beer.
VILLAIN
I tried to burn you and all I did
was see your skull. I tried breathing
under water, and I nearly drowned.
(beat)
And I need to get my money.Hero stares at the floor.
HERO
Not your money.VILLAIN
I was gonna kill a guy today and
I couldn’t.Hero looks up. Villain is disgusted.
VILLAIN
I felt bad for him.
(makes a yuck face)
What the fuck is that?!HERO
Empathy.He gets up in Hero’s face.
VILLAIN
I know what it is, asshole.
I don’t. Fucking. Want. Empathy.Villain stares daggers, then recoils.
VILLAIN
Ugh! There’s your goddamn eye
sockets again.He smacks Hero’s head and stands back up.
Villain realizes. Points to Hero.
VILLAIN
You can’t fly. That’s why you fell
off that building.Hero gives a single nod.
VILLAIN
How’s your x-ray vision doing?HERO
Hit me again and I’ll show you.Villain drops to his knees, throws his hands to the sky.
VILLAIN
I knew it! We switched!But then he smiles a little.
VILLAIN
You get the farts?Hero rolls his eyes. Grabs his beer.
HERO
How is that even a power?VILLAIN
Puts a bank full of people to sleep
in seconds.HERO
So what do you want from me?VILLAIN
Truce.Hero drinks. Laughs.
VILLAIN
‘Til we figure this out.
HERO
Work together?VILLAIN
You teach me, I teach you.HERO
Why don’t we try to switch back?VILLAIN
Okay, yeah, when there’s another
lightning storm we can go play in it.
(beat)
But unless you’ve got it all figured
out on your end, we need each other.EXT. THE LAKE – DAY
Hero and Villain in a remote area, standing at the water’s edge.
VILLAIN
Just put your head under and breathe.HERO
Bullshit.VILLAIN
I swear, that’s all I do.Hero reluctantly undresses down to his boxer briefs. He steps
carefully into the water.HERO
Don’t you walk on this?VILLAIN
One thing at a time.Hero takes another step.
VILLAIN
Get in there!Hero hesitates. Villain puts the pieces together.
VILLAIN
Oh. My. God.
(beat)
You can’t swim.HERO
I don’t need to swim. I can fly.VILLAIN
No, you can’t.Hero takes a step.
VILLAIN
But if you can’t swim, what was
that shit you were doing last night?HERO
Flying. I flew into the water
(swoops a hand downward)
and I flew out of the water.
(swoops a hand upward)VILLAIN
Oh…
(beat)
Well then just get on your hands
and knees and put your face in it.Hero crouches down. Reluctant. He sees his fearful face in the
reflection. He can’t look himself in the eyes.He slowly brings his face closer. He stares at the rocky floor of the
lake, his nose inches away from the surface of the water.Villain kneels beside him and slaps his hand on the back of Hero’s
head, shoving his face under.Hero flails and comes back up, water sputters from his lips.
HERO
The fuck!?VILLAIN
No swimming required!HERO
Don’t push me!VILLAIN
Then put your head in there
and breathe!Hero forces his face back into the water. A second later he lifts his
head and projectile vomits lake water and tadpoles.He gags, chokes, and coughs.
VILLAIN
Again!HERO
Fuck you, “again”! I can’t do it!VILLAIN
You try once and quit?
Hero gets up in Villain’s face.HERO
I can’t breathe under water! I’m
not sure how many tries I’m
allowed!Hero stands and Villain follows suit. Hero pushes him in the chest.
Villain stumbles.HERO
How ‘bout we try flying?
Another push.HERO
Just put your hands out andjump!
Another push. Villain falls into the water.
HERO
Is that all you got?Hero points to the hills.
HERO
Or how ‘bout we go to the hilltop
and I fucking push. you. off?!Villain puts his hands up.
VILLAIN
I’m sorry. I was just trying to help.Hero breathes… collects himself.
HERO
Then tell me how to do it.Villain is at a loss for words.
VILLAIN
I just… put my head under and
breathe.Hero grits his teeth and rubs his forehead. Not the answer he wanted.
He crouches down again.
VILLAIN
How do you fly?HERO
I just… raise my fist to the sky,
and I will myself to fly.Villain, still on his ass, leans in closer.
VILLAIN
It’s the same thing. Just will
yourself to breathe.Hero looks back at the water. Hovers his face over the surface.
Hero turns his head to Villain.
HERO
And don’t piss in here.Villain looks away. Hero’s order has come too late.
Hero lowers his head. Villain watches, hopeful.
Hero shoots back up, gasping, coughing, choking.
From the shore, Hero’s utility belt plays GOD BLESS AMERICA.
EXT. WHITE THREE-STORY BUILDING – DAYA sign in front reads: ADVANCED SCIENCE INSTITUTE.
People file in and out of the entrance.
MAYOR (V.O.)
We think we can replicate
what happened last night.INT. LAB – DAY
Hero and Villain lean against a counter in a sterile white room.
Mayor stands with SCIENTIST (60s), a seasoned nerd, glasses, timid,
probably has a KICK ME sign on his back. Both men wear dark goggles
on top of their heads.To the Scientist’s left are three over-sized, clear chambers.
Scientist opens the door to the chamber closest to him.
SCIENTIST
Just step inside.Hero makes the first move. Steps inside the chamber with ease.
He waits as Villain watches.Hero holds out a hand. Come on.
Villain pushes himself away from the counter and steps inside the
chamber. Scientist closes the door; latches it.Scientist walks to a panel with a giant pull-down lever. He presses
some buttons as Mayor watches beside him. Both men goggles over
their eyes.Hero and Villain stand face to face.
VILLAIN
Are you going to tell us–Scientist pulls down the lever.
LIGHTNING fills the chamber and Hero and Villain quake as the bolt
jars the shit out of them.Scientist pushes the lever back.
Lighting stops and Hero’s and Villain’s knees buckle.
Goggles up. Mayor opens the chamber door, releasing a light gray
smoke.Hero and Villain groan.
SCIENTIST
(eager)
Did it work?Hero pulls himself up. He holds out a hand to Villain and helps him
stand.Hero stares at a beaker on the counter. Beams shoot from his eyes and
the beaker explodes on impact.Hero and Villain drop their heads back.
MAYOR
I guess it wasn’t the lightning.Villain lifts his head.
VILLAIN
Wait! We were holding each
other!Mayor raises an eyebrow.
Hero raises his head. Of course!
Hero and Villain start to embrace. It’s awkward.
HERO
No your arm was around my
shoulder.Mayor and Scientist exchange looks.
HERO
My arm was around your waist.VILLAIN
What was my other arm doing?HERO
And bring your leg in.Mayor and Scientist look back at the intertwined Supers.
VILLAIN
Okay, we’re ready.Mayor latches the door shut. Takes his place by Scientist. Goggles
down.Scientist pushes buttons; pulls the lever.
LIGHTING saturates the two Supers as they hang onto each other.
Lever and goggles back up.
Mayor opens the door. Hero and Villain are crumpled against the
wall of the chamber in each other’s arms.SCIENTIST
(more eager)
Did it work?The Supers groan and sigh as they help each other up.
Villain raises a hand in front of Hero’s face.
VILLAIN
I’ll try.Villain stares at Mayor, who jumps out of the way.
MAYOR
Not me!Hero points to a cabinet.
VILLAIN
It doesn’t work. I already saw
his breakfast.Villain stands alert.
VILLAIN
Wait! It was raining!LATER
Hero and Villain sit on stainless steel barstools.
Mayor and Scientist work to fit a hose and sprinkler to the top of
the chamber.HERO
Your turn.VILLAIN
I spy… something… old.HERO
Mayor.Mayor looks at Hero.
VILLAIN
Older.MAYOR
Ooh, I know, I know.Scientist looks at Mayor.
SCIENTIST
Alright. It’s ready.Hero and Villain return to the chamber, wrapping their bodies
together. Mayor closes the chamber door.HERO
Hold me tighter.Mayor latches the door and switches on the hose. Water showers
the men in a steady downpour as Mayor takes his place by Scientist.
Goggles down.Scientist reaches for the lever. Presses buttons. Mayor holds out a
hand.Mayor asks a silent question with his eyes and Scientist nods. They
switch places. Mayor pulls the lever.LIGHTNING fills the chamber, relentless and thoroughly.
Lever and goggles up.
Mayor opens the door. Hero points to Scientist as his knees buckle.
HERO
Don’t say it.He rests his head on Villain’s shoulder. Villain’s head is already
resting against Hero’s chest.SCIENTIST
(less eager)
Did it work?VILLAIN
(to Hero)
Fucking had to say it.A loud wet fart echoes through the chamber. Hero and Villain share
a look. Hero looks at Mayor and Scientist. Defeated.HERO
Didn’t work.Scientist drops his shoulders.
MAYOR
What else can we put in
there? You were on a building.
You were fighting! Try it
again… fighting!HERO
No! No more!He drops his head back to Villain’s shoulder.
HERO
(to Villain)
Bro, it still stinks though.VILLAIN
Don’t try to make me feel
better.
EXT. COFFEE SHOP – LATE AFTERNOONHero and Villain people watch, drinking lattes.
VILLAIN
So you hesitate walking into
water, but saunter freely into
a lightning chamber. Interesting.HERO
I’ve been hit with lightning before.
I’ve never breathed water before.VILLAIN
No no no… You don’t breathe water,
you breathe while in water.Villain gets into a staring contest with a DOG WALKER (20s), walking
five small dogs.VILLAIN
Keep walking. Nothing to see here.DOG WALKER
So, are you guys friends now?VILLAIN
Beat it!DOG WALKER hurries off.
HERO
Well look at us… They don’t know.VILLAIN
Things aren’t always what they
seem. This is business.Villain looks at the crowd.
VILLAIN
It’s business!Villain sips his coffee.
VILLAIN
(continues to the crowd)
Pretty soon I’m gonna be robbing
your banks and kicking all your
asses again.
(points at an old lady)
You first!Eyes wide, the OLD LADY clutches her purse to her breasts and
scurries off. Villain turns back to Hero.VILLAIN
Don’t you ever get tired of
helping all these ingrates?HERO
I’m their hero.VILLAIN
Were there hero. You ain’t shit
now.HERO
I’m still–VILLAIN
Look at ‘em.Hero looks over his shoulder. Fans who once adored, now gawk.
VILLAIN
They don’t know what to think
of you. But it ain’t hero.HERO
They haven’t quit on me.Villain leans forward.
VILLAIN
You ever wanted to not save
someone?HERO
No.VILLAIN
Like you been saving people all
day… a fiery car crash here, a
school bus full of kids trapped
under the ice there — and you
just wanna relax and see a movie
with your girl. Maybe get some
head in the theater.Hero smiles.
VILLAIN
And then some woman comes
crying that her son fell into a well.
Don’t you ever just wanna say,
“Not today, lady, go fuck yourself!”Hero chuckles. Shrugs.
HERO
Sometimes.VILLAIN
Hey… Hit that guy.Villain indicates across the street. Hero looks. A PUNK BULLY (12)
is picking on a LITTLE GIRL (8), keeping her doll from her while
she cries.HERO
That kid?VILLAIN
Go on, help her.HERO
I don’t have to hurt him, to
help her.Hero watches the Bully.
VILLAIN
Just his knees.Hero focuses on the boy. Considers.
VILLAIN
And then–BEAMS OF LIGHT shoot from Hero’s eyes and set the kids knees
ON FIRE!Onlookers glare at Hero and Villain’s table.
HERO
And then, I’m both their hero.Villain winks and clicks his tongue. Hero dashes across the street
to the Bully writhing on the ground.VILLAIN
(over-dramatic)
Oh no, look what I did!Hero covers Bully with his cape, pounds his kneecaps a little too hard
as Bully cries out.Hero gives the doll to the little girl, then pounds Bully’s kneecaps once
more for good measure.He walks back to the coffee shop.
A BARISTA (18) watches.
BARISTA
Aren’t you gonna take him to
the hospital?HERO
Call an ambulance… I have to take
this Villain into custody.Villain stands and puts his hands behind his back. Hero grabs his wrist
and leads him out.EXT. STREET – LATE AFTERNOON
Hero and Villain walk side by side.
VILLAIN
It was fun wasn’t it?Hero says nothing. His expression is unreadable.
The LCM News building is on the opposite street corner. An
electronic message scrolls: YOUR TRUSTED NEWS SOURCE. 74 F.
6:24 PM.VILLAIN
You don’t have to say it.Three flyers on a telephone pole: The Bearded Hipster. The black
man. The Asian Man. MISSING. Reward: $10,000.Hero stops.
HERO
This you?Villain stops.
VILLAIN
Man, I don’t kidnap people.
I kill them.HERO
Who said they’re alive?Hero studies him. Unsure.
He notices the LCM scrolling message: YOUR TRUSTED NEWS
SOURCE. 74 F. 6:25 PM.HERO
Oh, shit!INT. GRAND MORITZ RESTAURANT – NIGHT
Hero and Girlfriend sit at a dimly lit table for two. PIANO music in
the background. Candles. A WAITER pours wine.Hero is in a tux, Girlfriend in a long silk dress.
Hero reaches in his right jacket pocket as the waiter nods at
Girlfriend; has nothing short of a smirk for Hero as he walks away.HERO
We’ve been together a while,
babe.She nods and picks up her wine glass.
GIRLFRIEND
It’s been a good runWith his left hand, he CLINKS his glass against hers. Drinks.
HERO
I think so too.GIRLFRIEND
Honestly, it feels like it might be
time to move on.Hero smiles, feeling a little giddy.
HERO
I’m glad you feel that way.Girlfriend is sightly taken aback.
GIRLFRIEND
You are?HERO
Yeah! We can’t keep going like
this.GIRLFRIEND
No, we can’t. I need more.HERO
Exactly. We need a change.She nods. Resolved. Now she CLINKS her glass against his.
GIRLFRIEND
A new chapter.He sets down his glass and reaches for her hand. She takes it and
smiles.GIRLFRIEND
I’m so happy right now.HERO
Darling, will you-He starts to raise the ring box from his right pocket. She exhales a
deep sigh of relief.GIRLFRIEND
I thought breaking up would
be harder than this.Hero’s smile fades.
She cuts into her steak and takes a big bite. Hero is frozen.
GIRLFRIEND
Thank you for being so good
about it.She sips wine.
GIRLFRIEND
I’m gonna miss you a little bit.INT. HERO’S PENTHOUSE – NIGHT
Villain watches the news. LCM logo in the bottom corner of the
screen.A pizza box, a six pack of beer minus two, and Villain’s feet are on
the coffee table. Two empty beer bottles next to him on the couch.NEWS ANCHOR
Occupants of the apartment and
surrounding area were evacuated
for six hours until the gas leak was
repaired.VILLAIN
Here’s your gas leak.He lifts his right butt cheek and pushes. Nothing happens.
NEWS ANCHOR
Another local citizen, Mr.–Villain grunts in disappointment.
VILLAIN
Pathetic.NEWS ANCHOR
–who was last seen riding his
bicycle near the College.Villain grabs another beer and cracks it open as a graphic of the
bearded hipster appears above the News Anchor’s right shoulder.
The same man from the lobby of the Mayor’s office.Villain squints his eyes at the graphic. Looks familiar.
NEWS ANCHOR
Any information regarding–Hero bursts in the front door, furious. Villain isn’t fazed.
VILLAIN
Aww.. she said no. Chin up,
buddy.HERO
She broke up with me. Get your
fuckin’ feet off the table.VILLAIN
Whoa, relax! I didn’t break up
with you.Villain puts his feet on the floor. Hero pulls the velvet ring box from
his pocket. He throws it into…
HIS BEDROOMThe box bounces once and pops open. A second bounce under the
bed expels the ring.The box bounces two more times, and the ring slides into an air vent
near the foot of the bed.
BACK TO THE LIVING ROOMVILLAIN
Grab a beer. Sit down.HERO
I wanna kill somebody right now!Villain stands, pumped. Turns off the TV with the remote. He punches
his hand into his fist.VILLAIN
Let’s do it!Hero spots empty beer bottles on the couch. And a beer stain.
HERO
You.
(he growls)
I wanna kill you right now.Hero charges and Villain jumps to the side.
VILLAIN
Truce!Hero dives and knocks Villain down. Punches him hard across the
face.VILLAIN
Listen, I know you’re hurting.Villain shakes his head.
VILLAIN
Fuck, I wanna hit myself!He forces inner rage and punches Hero back. Lifts a knee and jams
it into Hero’s balls. Hero winces and Villain flips him on his back.He punches Hero, left and right, across the jaw and cheeks. A punch
for every word:VILLAIN
We. Have. A. Truce. You. Dick!Hero’s eyes grow red.
VILLAIN
Don’t you fucking dare.Hero holds his gaze and Villain jumps back, as BEAMS OF LIGHT burn
two holes through the ceiling!He gets up and charges Villain again, knocking a lamp over. Villain
ducks and blocks.But a roundhouse kick to the abdomen sends Villain through the east
window!Villain grabs desperately at the window sill and barely holds on. Hero
rests his foot on one of Villain’s hands, digging it into broken glass.VILLAIN
If I fall, you don’t get shit back!HERO
Why don’t you fly?VILLAIN
I can’t fucking fly! That’s why
I’m here, goddammit!HERO
Thought it was the empathy.VILLAIN
You wanna be the hero again?
A hero doesn’t do this.Hero counts off on his fingers.
HERO
Respect. Adoration. Powers. Insane
good looks. Girlfriend.
(beat)
I’ve already lost everything.Hero pushes his foot hard into Villain’s hand, kicking it off the sill.
Villain reaches up again. But Hero’s already kicked his other hand off.VILLAIN
Fuck–EXT. HERO’S PENTHOUSE – SAME
Villain falls, gaining velocity.
He turns his body, and puts his arms forward and concentrates.
VILLAIN
Come on come on come on…And SPLAT! Face first into the sidewalk, barely missing passersby.
They scream and scatter.
Sidewalk crumpled, Villain groans and slowly pushes himself
upward, arms shaking like wet noodles.VILLAIN
Asshole.He rolls over and looks up at the top of the building. Face bloody.
Nose broken.Of course Hero is not visible on the 40th floor. Villain shouts up to
the penthouse.VILLAIN
ASS—
An empty BEER BOTTLE comes into view and hits Villain square in
the face. His head drops back on the cement.He covers his face with his arms as another bottle sails toward him.
INT. HERO’S PENTHOUSE – SAME
Hero snatches Villain’s open beer off the coffee table with satisfaction. Chugs it.
HERO
(mocking/baby voice)
A hero doesn’t do this.He lowers the bottle and sees his reflection in the mirror. He
laughs.HERO
He’s gonna tell me what a hero is.Hero stares. Frowns.
Shadows in the apartment darken parts of his face. His eyes look
stern.
Scary. His REFLECTION judges him.HERO’S REFLECTION
He’s right. You’re no hero.His reflection turns and walks away.
Hero GASPS and snaps out of it. His startled reflection staring back
proper.Hero throws down the bottle and rushes out the door.
EXT. STREET – NIGHTVillain walks down the sidewalk. His injuries are healing right before
our eyes.
Hero appears beside him. Walks in stride, says nothing.
VILLAIN
You let me fall.HERO
What’s the problem? You lived.
We both knew you’d live.Villain stops. Flabbergasted.
VILLAIN
It’s not about me living. It’s
about you lying. We had a truce.
(beat)
I trusted you. And I’ve never
trusted anyone.Villain starts walking again.
VILLAIN
And how fair is that? You can run
with bullet speed. Easy. You can
use heat vision. Easy. Farts… no
problem. You think I can fly? Ah,
no, I can go fuck myself.Hero takes Villain’s shoulder. Villain pulls away.
VILLAIN
But seeing through people’s
skin? Easy. Empathy? Easy.HERO
I’m sorry.VILLAIN
Eat shit.Villain starts again. People gather in amazement. Hero and
Villain — arguing??HERO
I’ve never felt like this before.
(beat)
I’ve never had to struggle with
rage and wanting to cause
harm. It took over. I know you
know what that’s like.VILLAIN
Well, I know feeling rage and
harm. But it’s never a struggle.HERO
Please forgive me.Gasps from onlookers. Hero and Villain — making up??
VILLAIN
I– don’t know what that means.HERO
Give me another chance.
(beat)
I promise we’ll fix this. Somehow.Villain sighs, scrapes the toe of his foot on the ground.
VILLAIN
I don’t know.HERO
I’ll never do that again.VILLAIN
I’m fucking gone for real if you do.Hero motions his head back up the street, toward his apartment
building.HERO
There’s still a few more beers.Villain smiles. They make their way back to Hero’s place as Hero
puts his arm around Villains shoulder.Onlookers exchange confused glances. Someone SNAPS a picture.
HERO
You know, you also got more
handsome.ONLOOKER
(amongst the others)
What the fuck..?INT. FASHIOS BOUTIQUE – MORNING
Girlfriend and Coworker stare at the newspaper on the counter.
Front page shows a picture of Hero and Villain from behind. Hero’s
arm around Villain’s shoulder; headline reads: HERO AND VILLAIN
LOVERS!GIRLFRIEND
This explains a lot.
INT. HERO’S PENTHOUSE – SAMEHero sleeps in the bed, Villain on the couch.
Villain’s nose curls.
VILLAIN
(sleep talking)
Alright… everyone down.Villain snores. Stirs. He opens his eyes and stretches. He chokes mid-yawn.
VILLAIN
Oh, God!
(beat)
How that not a power?He pulls up his blanket and covers his nose.
INT. LAB – DAY [PLACEHOLDER]Scientist and mayor talk.
We see Mayor’s plan to get rid of Hero, and Scientist’s ability to place lightning.
Here we learn that Mayor wants Hero dead (for reasons I am still working out) and lightning was intended only for Hero.
We see it didn’t kill Hero, but it scrambled his powers. Was this because it hit Villain too?
Mayor still wants Hero out of the picture.
I will be expanding on this, but it will likely start with something simple like Mayor is trying to advance in his career, but his low crime rate is not credited to him, it is credited to Hero. Mayor is tired of hero receiving all the credit, and simply being seen as useless. If he can get rid of Hero himself and then Villain also, the glory will finally be his.
INT. HERO’S PENTHOUSE / LIVING ROOM – DAY
Hero makes breakfast.
Villain walks in the front door.
HERO
Where were you?VILLAIN
I had to get something.Villain goes to the kitchen, visibly unsettled.
VILLAIN
I know what happened.
(beat)
You’re not gonna like it.Hero sets down the spatula.
VILLAIN
I felt something when we were
fighting. When the lightning
struck.
(beat)
The same thing happens to you
that happens to me.Villain struggles to say it.
VILLAIN
It’s exhilarating. Stimulating.Realization sets in. Hero starts shaking his head.
HERO
No.Villain just stares.
HERO
Hell no.Hero walks to the living room.
HERO
Why don’t we throw you off some
more buildings ‘till you learn how
to fly?VILLAIN
It’s not sexual.Hero snaps back.
HERO
I know it’s not sexual!VILLAIN
They touched.Hero brings his face to his hands.
VILLAIN
One more time in the chamber.HERO
Why? WHY is that the answer?!VILLAIN
Think about it… there’s no one
like us. We’re like gods. It wasn’t
just the lightning, or the rain…
something about us had to trigger it.
Something special was the catalyst.
(beat)
I don’t like it either, but what else
could it be?Hero approaches. Shoulders dropped.
He stands face to face with the villain. Softens his eyes.
HERO
So… how do you wanna do this?Villain pushes him away.
VILLAIN
Not that way!Villain takes pills out of his pocket.
INT. LAB – LATER
Scientist watches as Villain steps inside the lightning chamber. Their
boners are barely visible through their suits.Hero frowns.
VILLAIN
Come on, big guy. Get in here
and hug me.Mayor stands at the water connection. Scientist waits by the control
panel.MAYOR
So what makes this one special?HERO
It’s not special.He approaches the chamber.
SCIENTIST
So nothing’s different?VILLAIN
We were hard.Hero’s eyes go wide. He rushes inside the chamber.
HERO
–Hard-pressed to figure this out.He shuts the chamber door and Mayor latches it.
Villain open his arms. Hero takes a deep breath. Goes in for the hug.
Both men stand in each other’s arms, Hero’s ass at a distance, pressed
against the chamber wall.VILLAIN
It’s not sexual.HERO
Please stop talking.VILLAIN
Alright… on the count of three.Hero nods.
VILLAIN
One… two… three.Hero scooches his feet closer.
Finally, Villain sighs and grabs Hero’s ass, pulls him in close.
They hold.
VILLAIN
Time for our shower.HERO
Shut. Up.Villain looks at Mayor and nods. The simulated downpour starts.
Goggles down, Mayor goes to Scientist, who pulls the lever.
LIGHTNING fills the chamber. Hero and Villain hold and endure.
Lever and goggles up. Mayor opens the chamber door.
Villain looks at a cabinet with a solid door. X-ray vision reveals
supplies: beakers, test tubes, Bunsen burners.He looks at Hero, apologetic and dejected. Shakes his head.
Hero pulls back and punches Villain in the face. The back of Villain’s
head cracks the wall of the chamber.Hero storms out of the room.
Villain steps out of the chamber.
VILLAIN
Thanks, guys.As he passes, the Mayor takes Villain by the arm.
MAYOR
Let’s talk. -
Week 6 Assignment
What I learned is more about the character development and transformational motivation of my protagonists.
1. Give us the following:
Concept
Two competing self-absorbed and narcissistic hospital CEOs, antagonists Dr. Frank Shanis and Dr. Johnathan Skipper, of top ranked national hospitals in Chicago, will stop at nothing to take steps to improve their local and national hospital rankings, even harm and murder patients of each other’s hospitals to position their own hospital to have better outcomes. Neither CEO is aware that the other CEO is engaged in this type of activity to undermine their hospital’s patients and reputations. Thankfully, two newly practicing physician hero protagonists, Dr. Phillip Morgan and Dr. Quinn McAllister, who are friends and trained together, one working at each hospital, have become aware of the nefarious motivations and activities of the hospital CEOs, unbeknownst to either of the CEOs, and are forced to take actions as physicians to prevent the best they can the abilities of these CEO and their compatriots to achieve their malicious objectives. Each of the physicians, nevertheless, have their own internal battles and struggles they must overcome which often prove challenging.
Main Conflict
Two young physician protagonists must prevent two CEO agonists from their clandestine efforts to inflict injury, harm, despair, pain and suffering to patients and the smooth operating functions at their competitor’s hospitals.
Old Ways
Both protagonists are new staff physicians fresh out of their fellowship training and have self-doubt about their abilities to care for patients. They are introverts and often afraid to speak out or question what they know are questionable medical practices and delivery of medical care to patients which they sometimes are observing.
New Ways
Both protagonists must mature more quickly than normal from becoming novice new inexperienced physicians who at time have self-doubt of their abilities to becoming proactive, well-respected physician leaders and patient advocates, while at the same time exercising old and existing wounds out of their systems.
2. Fill in each of these with the answers you have right now.
Act 1:
Opening
Introduce us to the lead characters in action.
Dr. Phillip Morgan and Dr. Quinn McAllister are sitting at Dr. Morgan’s apartment talking to each other about their fears of starting their respective staff physician positions, at crosstown hospitals, in the coming few days. They are discussing having had their orientations at their respective hospitals and meeting their department physician chairs as well as attending introductory speeches at their orientations by their respective physician CEOs. Dr. Morgan is telling Dr. McAllister about his impressions of CEO Dr. Frank Shantis and Dr. McAllister is giving Dr. Morgan his impression of his CEO, Dr. Johanathan Skipper. One striking thing that they observed during their respective CEO’s speeches was that each of the CEOs spent a great deal of time to impress upon the new doctors during the orientation that one major objective of importance was for their respective hospitals to focus upon paying attention to the metrics that are used to calculate the national hospital rankings and also to remember that the hospital business is a very competitive business like sports is and that the other hospital was their major rival. Each of the protagonists thought that was rather unusual for the CEOs to focus a major part of their remarks on, as if they were giving “Win one for the Gipper” speeches.
Phillip described what he perceived Dr. Santis’ personality, characteristics, exquisite dress, polished presentation style and mannerisms, and observed that he had in his company what Phillip equated to an executive team of “soldiers”. Likewise, Quinn spoke about his impressions of his CEO Dr. Skipper and described him as appearing not CEO like in his dress, mannerisms or speaking abilities, and noted that, in contrast to Dr. Santis, Dr. Skipper had with him only his executive assistant.
Antagonists’ Openings:
Dr. Frank Shantis is at a meeting with his hospital board of directors who are congratulating and praising him over champaign toasts for leading General Hospital to this year’s #2 National Hospital Ranking position.
Dr. Johnathan Skipper was called into a private meeting with the chairman of his hospital board of directors. The discussion they are having is quite different from that which Dr. Shantis is experiencing at his meeting. The chair of the board of HOPE Hospital is frantic and is sternly warning Dr. Skipper that the board is very much worried that HOPE Hospital this year has fallen in the national hospital rankings from the 5<sup>th</sup> position to the 7<sup>th</sup> position nationally and that the board is getting more and more concerned and starting to ponder if Dr. Skipper is the right person to be CEO of the hospital.
Inciting Incident
Day 1 is each protagonist’s day as new staff physicians, both Dr. Morgan and Dr. McAllister respectfully are faced with long stressful days but also both were called to respond to CODE Blues on the regular non-critical care ward of their hospitals to assist in resuscitation of patients in distress. Neither one of the young doctors were in charge of leading the CODE Blue emergencies but assisted the lead physicians and nurses in the attempted resuscitation of the respective patients, neither of whom survived. Witnessing these unfortunate patients die were stressful experiences for both of our protagonists and these experiences even made them both feel even less certain of their own medical competencies. How would they have responded if they had been the lead physicians during these codes they wondered. In reviewing the medical records of the patients who had died, each of the young doctors realized that the patient they had coded had been in the hospital recovering from routine elective procedures and neither had a history of cardiac disease or other significant comorbidities. Each young doctor was puzzled as to why these otherwise healthy patients, both in their early 30s would have experienced cardiac arrests.
Later that first week, both doctors also witness what they consider to be unconventional medication orders placed by their physician supervisors, but they don’t feel they are in a position to question the orders. Unfortunately, both patients on the receiving end of those orders wind up having complications from medication errors. An elderly African American orderly at General Hospital where Dr. Morgan worked pulled Dr. Morgan aside and told him that over the past year, he had heard gossip from some nurses that there was some questionable care going on that was inexplicable. The orderly also confided in Dr. Morgan that he had heard some gossip on the street that there was some illegal drug activities going on at the hospital.
Both doctors witness some of their superiors providing inappropriate care to patients that ultimately harms patients.
Both doctors uncover circumstances where patient’s medical records were altered in efforts to cover up medical mistakes. They are warned by their supervising physicians to remain quiet and mind their own business.
Both Dr. Morgan and Dr. McAllister have relatives who are hospitalized at their respective hospitals who unexpectedly die, under questionable circumstances, while hospitalized.
Dr. Morgan and his friend Dr. Quinn McAllister compare notes and realize that there are unexplained deaths of patients occurring at both their hospitals.
Following several episodes where both doctors successfully resuscitate patients, they come to realize that they are more competent physicians than they previously realized. They become more confident in their abilities as physicians.
Dr. Morgan and Dr. McAllister both hear rumors at their respective hospitals that there are rumors of illegal activities involving drug trafficking and trafficking of illegal organ donations at their respective hospitals.
Both doctors meet other physicians, nurses, and hospital employees who confide in them that they too are suspicious about many of the deaths of patients and other questionable activities that are going on in their respective hospitals.
Both doctors join the patient experience and patient quality & safety board of their respective hospitals, and thereby have opportunities to meet their respective CEOs and have opportunities to get to know their CEOs better and in social situations.
Dr. Morgan learns more about the narcissistic character of the CEO of his hospital, Dr. Frank Shantis.
Dr. McAllister learns more about the character of his CEO Dr. John Skipper. He encounters him highly intoxicated at a liquor store and witnesses and overhears him interacting with criminal elements out in the community and hears threats made by such criminal elements to Dr. Skipper.
Protagonist’s Inciting Incidence
Dr. Jonathan Skipper is distraught about his hospital board of directors placing stress upon him and threatening his job as CEO should his hospital rankings continue to slide. He realizes that his crosstown rival CEO Dr. Frank Shantis has been having great successes at his hospital and that he is respected by many as a great leader. Dr. Skipper decides to set up a meeting with CEO Shantis to ask him privately to serve as his mentor and coach.
Dr. Frank Shantis
Dr. Frank Shantis basking in the glow of having received high praises from his hospital board of directors understands that his next goal is to achieve the #1 national hospital ranking and decides that he must further and strategically step up his goals to distinguish his hospital locally from his major local competing hospital HOPE Hospital. Dr. Skipper has contacted and met with Dr. Shantis privately requesting that Dr. Shantis serve as his mentor. Initially, Frank tells Dr. Skipper that he is flatered but that he doesn’t feel he has enough time to devote to mentoring Dr. Skipper; but then he realizes that serving as a mentor and coach to Dr. Skipper would strategically provide him with even more opportunities to advance his own personal objectives and advance his own, General Hospital’s, competitiveness over HOPE Hospital.
Turning Point
Dr. Morgan and Dr. McAllister are sitting in Dr. Morgan’s apartment having a beer and discussing the happenings of the week and some of their experiences their first week as working as staff physicians at their respective hospitals. They realize that had they both spoken up in their respective situations that those medical errors would have been averted. Dr. Morgan told Quinn what the elderly orderly had confided in him and Morgan encouraged Quinn to keep his eyes and ears open for anything suspicious appearing at his hospital, HOPE Hospital.
Both protagonists make a pact that they will provide each other the emotional support necessary for each to become better, more assertive, leading physicians and patient advocates, because they both had taken oaths to be the best physicians they could be and that they had a responsibility to protect the patients.
Turning Point Anatagonists
Dr. Shantis meets with Dr. Skipper and informs him that yes, he will serve as his mentor and coach. Dr. Skipper is very grateful. The two CEOs make plans to meet to get started with the coaching and mentorship. Dr. Shantis tells Dr. Skipper to keep their arrangement confidential and request that Dr. Skipper provide him with his hospital’s 5-year strategic plan, including HOPE Hospitals financial statements and internal SWOT analysis. He tells Dr. Skipper he needs this information to determine how to best start providing advice and guidance to Dr. Skipper. Dr. Skipper is grateful and agrees to provide Dr. Shantis with this sensitive HOPE Hospital information.
Dr. Skipper is approached one evening by an underworld criminal figure who threatens and blackmails him to increase his “voluntary contributions” to his organization’s illegal operations, in the form of continued participation in the illegal drug market and organ procurement black market.
Similarly, Dr. Shantis is approached by the same underworld figure and threatened and blackmailed to also continue to participate in his criminal drug and criminal organ procurement black market operations.
Act 2:
Protagonists New plans
Both protagonists take actions to get to know better other doctors, nurses, orderlies and other hospital employees, and to be more observant as to the ongoings of the hospital.
Antagonists New Plans
Both CEOs establish their own new plans to pursue their aspirations and to respond to the threats by their criminal underworld menace. Dr. Shantis solidifies his strategy to further undermine HOPE Hospital’s patient outcomes and Dr. Johnathan Skipper comes up with a plan to backstab his new mentor and coach Dr. Frank Shantis.
Protagonists’ Plans in action
Both protagonists volunteer to join the morbidity and mortality committees of their respective hospitals and they are accepted onto these committees which routinely review all accounts of patient complications occurring within the hospital as well as review any cases of previously discharged patients being readmitted within 30 days or discharge or dying outside of the hospital within 30 days of discharge. At the committee meetings, only certain portions of the patient’s medical records are presented to the committee to review and both protagonists respectfully a puzzled within their own minds as to why certain medical documentation is not included to be reviewed by the committee. This leads them to independently and privately review certain medical documentation where they not inconsistencies in terms of what happened versus what was documented that happened and that was reviewed in certain cases.
Antagonists’ Plans In Action
Both CEOs meet with many of their faithful, loyal minions to instruct and guide them as to what they need to do for their respective strategies. Both CEOs offer their minions financial rewards and in some cases threaten some of them individually because the CEOs have incriminating information on them.
Protagonists’ Midpoint Turning
PointBoth protagonists having compared notes, now understand that there are major irregularities associated with the complications, morbidity and mortality, involving many of these patients.
Dr. Morgan also has received more information from his elderly orderly friend who tells him that there are certain doctors, nurses, pharmacists, administrators and others who are illegally stealing narcotics and other medications for the black market and that he is aware also that this is also happening at HOPE Hospital.
Dr. McAllister tells Dr. Morgan that one of the orderlies at HOPE Hospital tells him that he thinks it is very strange also that HOPE Hospital over the past year has hired several doctors, nurses and others who previously worked at General Hospital, where they were paid considerably more money and had better benefits than HOPE Hospital provided them.
Antagonists’ Midpoint Turning Point
Dr. Johnathan Skipper is remorseful because one of the patients who died whom his minions sabotaged at General Hospital turned out to be Dr. Skipper’s first cousin.
Dr. Santis is further executing beautifully is masterplan to gain insider information in HOPE Hospitals executive and strategic plans and has successfully harmed and killed a number of patients at HOPE Hospital; however, he realizes that he must be cautious about completely sabotaging HOPE Hospital too much because he realizes that it is in his best interest that Dr. Skipper is not fired as CEO of HOPE Hospital out of fears that HOPE Hospital might replace Dr. Skipper with a more competent and competitive CEO.
Act 3:
Protagonists’ Rethink
everythingBoth protagonists start to suspect that there is more to the eye behind many of these patient complications and dedicate themselves even more to becoming watchdogs for patients in their respective hospitals.
Each protagonists apply to be appointed to their respective hospital’s patient experience committees as well as their hospital’s patient quality and outcomes committees of which the CEOs of their respective hospitals lead and preside over. This gives them an opportunity to have direct interactions with their respective CEOs and to get to know them better and develop further insight into them as individuals and their motivations.
Antagonists’ Rethink Everything
Dr. Shantis realizes that he must work to help Dr. Skipper maintain his position as CEO of HOPE Hospital.
Dr. Skipper is remorseful about harming patients at General Hospital; however, he decides that he must continue to sabotage patients but be more selective in which patients are targeted.
Protagonists’ New plans
Each protagonist advances their relationships with their respective CEOs, developing a trusting mentorship-mentee relationship with them, telling their CEOs that they aspire at some day themselves to become hospital CEOs and that they admire their leadership. The CEOs being narcissistic themselves love the attention and adulation the young doctors are showing them and let the young doctors into their more inner circles. This provides the young doctors more opportunities to get into the minds of the CEOs and their obsessions with outdoing the other CEO in achieving higher national hospital ranking than the other CEOs hospital.
Antagonists’ New Plans:
Dr. Shantis realizes that he must work to help Dr. Skipper maintain his position as CEO of HOPE Hospital.
Dr. Skipper is remorseful about harming patients at General Hospital; however, he decides that he must continue to sabotage patients but be more selective in which patients are targeted.
Protagonists’ Turning Points:
Huge failure / Major shiftBoth protagonists realize that they cannot themselves police the safety of all of the patients in their hospitals and therefore understand that they need to form coalitions of doctors, nurses and other hospital employees to assist in their efforts. Both protagonists also start to discuss their ideas that perhaps they need to themselves plan to target for removal from power the two CEOs or even, even worse, target them for demise.
Act 4:
Protagonists’ Climax/Ultimate
expression of the conflictBoth doctors, unknowingly to the CEOs, perform heroically in several situations to prevent the CEOs from harming/killing patients at their competitor’s hospitals and undercover details of underlying drug rings and illegal harvesting of organs for transplantation, many organs for sale on the black market, occurring at both hospitals. However, they as only two physicians don’t have the bandwidth to know what is going on over the entire hospital to be effective in preventing most of the premeditated complications. They therefore know that they need to recruit others to join them in their watchdog mission to save patients.
In the end, the protagonists’ come up with plans and execute upon plans to kill/murder the two hospital CEOs to prevent their patient killing sprees.
Antagonists’ Climax/Ultimate Expression of the Conflict
The two protagonists strategically inform each CEO of the clandestine activities of the other CEO to undermine their hospital rankings and to kill their hospital’s patients. Dr. Frank Shantis discovers that Dr. Skipper is backstabbing him and Dr. Skipper discovers that Dr. Shantis has been behind the many patient deaths occurring at his hospital. Each CEO formulates plans to murder the other CEO.
Protagonists’ Resolutions
The young doctors develop enlist a very select group of honest and ethical physicians, nurses and employees at their respective hospitals, as well as a few law enforcement officers, attorneys as well as some shady individuals living in the shadows to be on their teams to clandestinely combat the actions of the CEOs.
They are successful in their abilities to save patients in some instances and fail in other instances.
The young doctors ultimately decide that the only way to protect the patients is to eliminate the CEOs, not simply by exposing them and getting them fired from their positions, but by killing them, or having them killed.
Antagonists’ Resolutions
Both CEOs devise strategies to kill the other CEO, unknowingly that the other CEO is aware that they were backstabbing the other and unaware that each CEO has plans to kill the other.
-
Rae’s completed ACT 2 – Draft 1
What I learned this assignment is patience. I keep wanting the this script to stretch and grow. We’re at the half way point and I have 30 pages when I need a minimum of 45.
KEY SCENE #2 PROTAGONIST TAKES ON A PLAN AND EXECUTES IT
EXT. 20 UNIT APARTMENT BUILDING (LONG BEACH) – DAY
Jesi pulls up outside, in the Johnson’s Contractor truck. Harrold is there to meet her. They hug and then both wipe the tears.
HAROLD
One of the tenants just vacated one of my furnished units. So lets go inside and sit.
INT. FURNISHED UNIT (CONTINUOUS)
The unit is tired, needs a re-hab badly.
HAROLD
My roof isn’t doing so well either. Are you familiar with those damn Mexican clay tiles? They crack every time you step on them.
JESI
(she is not)
Sure I am. Got the ladder. I’ll get up there and take a look in a minute.
(pauses)
Harold, Pug, the real reason I’m here is I need advice regarding the multi-unit real estate business. Trust me, I’m still keeping the construction business going. But, I sort of dove in head first, like I do with everything, having no idea how competitive the business was – you might say, cut throat. But to make the kind of income I need right now, I’m gonna have to hustle up some listings —
(blurts out)
Pug, you said you were thinking of selling this place?
HAROLD
Well, you know, I’d love to give you a break, but I’ve got this agent I’ve used for many years — ever heard of Henry Wu?
JESI
I know him well.
(looks away, then)
I’ll do a much better job for you. Us rookies try harder. I’ll get you the highest and best value. After all I know this place inside out. I even checked out your crawl space if you remember?
HAROLD
That’s right, you are quite a woman. Now about my roof —
They get up, walk outside.
JESI
Let me go get my ladder.
HAROLD
Wait, isn’t that how your Dad —
JESI
It’s okay. I’m a lot younger, and heck of a lot lighter —
She stuffs the tears as she heads towards the truck.
She returns with an extension ladder, leans it against the building — hesitates.
JESI
You know, I just started a new helper. Mario, he’s awesome. Maybe I’ll let him climb up there.
HAROLD
Makes sense to me. Send him over tomorrow. Look, I’ll have a talk with Henry, tell him I’m considering another agent. Competition is good and healthy, right?
JESI
Yes, agreed.
She shakes Harold’s hand turns and walks away, then stops.
JESI
Oh, Harold, if you don’t mind, please don’t tell Henry that the other agent is me.
HAROLD
You got it. But don’t take it to the bank. I didn’t say you’ve the listing yet. Let’s get that roof repaired first.
She heads for the truck with a smile on her face, the first in a long while.
INT. 20 UNIT APARTMENT BUILDING – NEXT DAY
Jesi pulls up in the truck. She jumps out, with her side-kick MARIO (30), following.
JESI
(to Mario)
Be careful not to break any tiles when you’re up there. They’re a bitch. And no falling off that roof.
MARIO
Nah, not me.
Mario secures the ladder carefully against the building wall and is about to scale it.
EXT. THE STREET (CONTINUOUS)
A BMW pulls up to the curb. Henry hops out, a phone to his ear. He doesn’t see Jesi, but yells out to Mario.
HENRY
Hey, you on the ladder! Do me a favor, tell Harold I’ll be right there. I gotta take this call.
Mario swings around. The ladder falters and he falls to the ground. Henry is engrossed in a phone call, jumps back in his car talking, doesn’t see him fall.
JESI
(runs over)
Oh my God Mario, are you all right?
Mario is nodding, rubbing his leg. Harold hurries over.
HARROLD
Damnit. I knew I should’a renewed my liability insurance.
(looks to Jesi)
You’ve got your own insurance, right?
MARIO
I’m okay. I’m okay. You don’t need no insurance.
Mario gets up, starts to re-scale the ladder.
HARROLD
You watch your step, okay. Don’t want no goddamn accidents.
The ladder skids sideways on the stucco wall. Mario falls again, but jumps up, unhurt. This time Jesi takes over.
Harold yells to Jesi as she scales the ladder.
HARROLD
By the way, I called Henry last night about listing this place. He’s on his way over!
JESI
Too late, he’s here already. But don’t worry, our path’s won’t even cross.
KEY SCENE #3
EXT. 20 UNIT APARTMENT BUILDING – MID-MORNING
Jesi is on the roof, working at a fast pace, calling down to Mario.
JESI
Mario, I need about six more tiles. Send them up on the pully.
Mario stacks the tile and sends it up.
EXT. THE STREET (CONTINUOUS)
Henry finally steps from his BMW ending the call. Harold hurries to the curb to greet him. They’re shaking hands.
POV
Jesi is watching, does not want to get down from that roof. She hides behind a chimney stack, and stalls.
Mario is calling out to her.
MARIO
Hey Jesi, need any more of those tiles?
ON HENRY
He stops the conversation with Harold, looks to the roof.
HENRY
Is that Jesi up there?
HAROLD
Yep, that’s my girl Jesi.
HENRY
(shouts)
Hey, Jesi, get down here. What the hell —
Jesi hesitates, then finally drops down the ladder. She is covered in dust and clay from the roof tiles. She approaches the two men.
HENRY
What are you doing here? Why are you on that roof?
JESI
I told you my father died and left me his business. And actually, I rather like the freedom of it. It’s my grass roots, an environment I can trust. No back stabbing.
HENRY
Well, those overalls become you.
(turns to Harold)
Harold, shall we do this inside?
HAROLD
Nah, right here is fine.
Jesi quickly drops down the ladder, hurries over and listens in.
HENRY
Harold, she is just a rookie. You know I’m the best man for the job.
HAROLD
(takes a beat)
Now Jesi, I don’t want you getting upset, but Henry’s right. So I will be listing the property with Henry. Remember, you are just starting out, and you’re still grieving. You’re also busy running Jackson’s construction company. I’m sorry, I need to stay with Henry.
JESI
(looks away, then back again)
Henry, congratulations. And Harold I completely understand. But just as a side bar, I now have Mario, as project manager to run Johnson Construction, so I can give my full, undivided attention to my real estate clients.
HAROLD
Now, what you two could entertain is a co-listing. Fifty, fifty. That way all three of us win. And I get the extra exposure. What do you say, Henry?
HENRY
(anxious to leave)
Harold, I’ve got your listing price, so I’ll forwarded you the contract digitally.
(avoids eye contact)
Jesi, see you back in the office.
JESI
Yeah, sure Henry.
After Henry leaves, Harold throws a compassionate arm around Jesi’s shoulder.
JESI
Just you wait. He’s no intention of sharing the listing.
HAROLD
Well then, he showed his true colors. But just you wait, I’ve got an even bigger plan for you. This bunch of old geeza’s I hang with. We call it “The old boys apartment club.” They’re a scruffy lot, but they’re all filthy rich. They scooped up most of their buildings in the 1980’s when cash was king, and you could buy these buildings for a song. Their buildings are all over the place, Long Beach, Huntington, Garden Grove, Anaheim, you name it. Some are even in Newport, on the water. Yup, we all owe the eighties. Dear God, those were the days. Even with the fumbling dictates of Ronald Reagan and Jimmy Carter. So, if you’re up for it, our monthly get together is tomorrow night, at the Harbor Yacht Club.
INT. HARBOR YACHT CLUB (LONG BEACH) – NIGHT
Jesi enters, finds Harold and the good old boys grouped around the bar. She stops, freezes. Harold sees her and hurries over.
HAROLD
I didn’t think you’d make it. Are you sure you can handle this?
She nods as they continue walking towards a group of FOURTEEN WELL WORN, OLDER MEN.
HAROLD
I know it seems pretty noisy, but on the weekends it gets a lot worse.
(shouts to the men)
Hey fellas, meet Jesi, my protegee. And I must say, one helluva real estate agent. She works the entire coast from Redondo Beach to Laguna. So, talk to her about your properties. She’ll trade them up or down whatever you like. And besides that, she drives a mean constructions truck, and will even fix your roofs and plumbing —
Harold takes Jesi by the hand, introduces her to the old codgers one by one. Each of them light up as they speak to her. A few of the men crowd closer, genuinely interested.
JIM BAKER (75), JOE SCHMIDT (78), BOSS MULLER (70), step up.
JOE SCHMIDT
Jesi, Joseph Schmidt, but you can call me Joe. Who are you with?
JESI
Schindler Investments, Long Beach. Before that I was with — — . They have four coastal offices. I was their top producer for five years. But I’ve decided to jump into investment properties, just for the challenge. But if I’m entirely honest, it’s for the paychecks too.
JOE SCHMIDT
Hell, I sacked my agent last year. I was over him and his games. Now I’ve got this thirty unit complex close to Long Beach Harbor I want to sell. Maybe trade it into something bigger. So talk to me — maybe I’ll give you a shot.
The noise pumps up as Jesi sits down with Joe. She strains to listen, then takes out her phone and enters his information.
INT./EXT. JOHNSON HOME/ OFFICE – DAY
Jesi makes a deal with Mario. Signs him on as an equal partner. They shake hands, then walk outside to the Silverado construction truck.
JESI
I know how much my Dad always trusted you. Even though he paid you half of what you deserved. So let’s do this! Take it away, the truck is yours.
MARIO
Are you interested in the work at all? I mean, you’re so good at it.
JESI
No, my focus has to be on real estate. Don’t worry, we’ll hire you a helper.
He blasts the truck horn, waves as he drives the truck away.
Jesi walks back inside the home, her cell flashing.
JESI
(into phone)
Yes, this is she.
(listens)
I know, I’m very aware that you need payment — but I can’t do this unless we work out a payment plan. Look, can’t I speak to the Doctor? He seemed a reasonable man. What was his name, Doctor LeBlanc?
She waits on the line forever. Finally the doctor takes her call.
GERALD LEBLANC
Miss Johnson, I remember you. The Sinatra story —
JESI
Doctor, I always knew that medical care was expensive, but I had no idea it could reach this amount.
(starts crying)
I’m sorry. My father let his bridging insurance lapse —
GERALD LEBLANC
Look, Miss Johnson, I have a surgery scheduled in a few minutes. Is it possible for us to meet somewhere, possibly for lunch? I can do this Saturday — that is, if you are free.
JESI
Yes, yes, let’s meet for lunch.
GERALD LEBLANC
The Honor Bar. Pine Street, one o’clock?
JESI
Perfect.
A call flashes on Jesi’s phone. She answers, listens.
JESI
Yes, this is Jesi Johnson, Jackson Johnson’s daughter.
(listens long and hard)
What do you mean he has IRS debt? Look, I have no one else to turn to here. I have no mother, no siblings. My father just died two months ago, and I’m trying to hold all of this together. Plus pay off his medical debt —
(listens)
A meeting at the IRS? This week? You’re kidding me!
INT. THE HONOR BAR – DAY
Jesi chats with Dr. LeBlanc over lunch. Their energy is electric. It’s an obvious “love at first sight” moment.
JESI
I’m finding out my father’s spending was pretty reckless. I’ve even got the IRS calling me. It turns out he liked to gamble, Doctor LeBlanc. What should I do?
GERARD LEBLANC
Well first, you take one step at a time. Would you like to share some wine?
JESI
I’d love to.
GERARD LEBLANC
How about French Rose?
He calls the WAITER over.
GERALD LEBLANC
A bottle of French Rose. From the Loire Valley if you have it.
The waiter nods and leaves.
GERALD LEBLANC
(grins)
So, let’s talk more about Sinatra.
JESI
I’d love to. And doctor, I fully intend to pay off my father’s debt. I just need more time.
GERALD LEBLANC
It’s Gerry. And I’m giving you all the time you need.
The wine keeps pouring. As the luncheon continues it seems neither wants it to end.
GERALD LEBLANC
Can we do this again? Next time for dinner?
INT. HENRY’S OFFICE/ THE BULLPEN – DAY
Jesi sits at her desk scanning a “Hot Sheet” of the agent’s new listings. Harold’s property is listed at the top. She storms into Henry’s office, stops in the doorway
JESI
So much for sharing Harold’s listing.
She throws her head outside, shouts to A DOZEN AGENTS in the Bullpen. They all look up.
JESI
Hey! You’re all a bunch of narcissists! Every one of you! Well, screw you! I don’t need your leads, and I certainly don’t need help from any damn one of you.
The quiet is deafening. She looks to Henry who is finishing up his Haiku for the day. He hands her the page.
HENRY
This is for you —
She takes it and tears the page into shreds.
JESI
Fuck Haiku. You’re a snake, and this is war! You wouldn’t share Harold’s listing, and I’ll bet money it was you who stole my lead. I am warning you Henry, you’d better guard your clients because I’m going after every one of them, and I mean it.
She storms out as fast as she stormed in. Goes to her cubicle, writes a deadly Haiku that takes a few drafts.
HAIKU
Snake is a good word; When describing Henry Wu; Asshole is better.
She returns to Henry’s office, slaps her Haiku down on his desk.
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Lesson 16 Finish Act 2:
What I learned doing this Assignment:
Act two must end with a big bang and all my main character must be in some type of jeopardy.
Scene 1
Int: Warehouse-Day:
Kendra plan to rescue the little girl goes badly. The girl’s mother is killed, and Michael is injured.
Scene2: Warehouse-Day
The ex-husband capture Kendra and Michel. He begins to torture them. The little girl intervenes, and Kendra kills the ex-husband.
Scene 3: Lower Eastside New York- Day.
The military is moving thousand of people by using all types of transport. The hovering Alien ship begins to move towards the waiting crowed. The massive explosion turns the group into a stampeding mob that overruns the military.
Scene 4: Ext Yardley airport- Day
Jackson is negotiating with Albert and thirty something party guy. Albert is convinced there is nothing to worry about.
Scene 5: Ext New York city street-Day
Kendra helps the injured Michael along with the little girl. People are running in the street trying to flee the Alien ships. The trio make it to the safe house. Kendra notices the aliens have landed and are walking the streets of New York.
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JUDITH ABINGDON <strong style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Subject line: Has Completed Act 2 Draft 1
“What I learned doing this assignment is…?” still a work in progress
Key Scene 4: The Midpoint.
After another big fight, no one has the will to continue in this endless cycle of disruption. Juliet’s mother speaks with her husband and they decide it’s best Juliet stays with her Godmother for a while.
Juliet is excited about this new turn of events but she is not ready for this new freedom and goes a bit off the rails, it’s all fun in the beginning but even her Godmother and her sister find it hard to contain Juliet’s enthusiasm. She starts exploring NYC and the counter culture, takes in several movies, concerts and museums getting a better sense of who she is, but it’s to much to fast and she wears out her welcome.
Midpoint scene.
INT. JULIAS BEDROOM NIGHT
LARRY
You have no control over her anymore
JULIA
Well we could try to look at it from her point of view, we were young once too
LARRY
Oh sure go all soft, that’s not going to fix anything. Strong discipline, that’s what I had. You have to be firm.
JULIA
Oh, so you were the perfect child.
LARRY
That’s beside the point. And anyway I’m a male , different expectations
JULIA
I don’t understand
LARRY
We have different ideas in America. You spoiled her when she was young, and she had no strong father to look up to.
JULIA
So different rules for girls and boys? Maybe that is the problem!
LARRY
Don’t you worry, we will not be having these problems when my son is born.
JULIA
So you are a fortune teller now?
LARRY
OK, that’s enough smart talk, I think it’s rubbing off.
Julia looks away and rolls her eyes, she knows she has a mission
Julia
Speaking of which, I think maybe we all could use a break about now.
I need to get ready for the baby and we could use some quality time together. I was chatting with Inez the other week and she said the same. She has offered to have Juliet come stay with her for a bit and give us all a reset. I wanted to check with you, what do you think?
Larry takes a minute
LARRY
I would like some peace and quiet in my own house. Wadda I care! Sure fine.
JULIA
Oh, It will be great for us Larry! We can have some quiet dinners and you can help me get the nursery together!
LARRY
OH boy!
END SCENE ACT 2
INT. INEZ’S HOUSE DAY
Juliet has arrived with a modest amount of boxes, clothes, some books but most importantly her record collection and portable record player.
INEZ
So you can’t have your own room right away, MICHAEL should be leaving soon for college, so you can share my closet for now.
JULIET
I don’t care about that, just tell me I can keep the record player in the living room!
INEZ
Of course, my Darling, just watch the volume, you know what a pill Madelyn can be!
JULIET
We will just teach her all the latest tunes and have a sing along!
INEZ
I would like to see that! Now, I’m not going to lay a lot of rules on you, just promise me you will let me know what you are up to, I don’t want to be left wondering where you are. Deal?
JULIET
YES, for sure, yes! And thanks again for doing this Inez! I love you
INEZ
I love you too monkey, now let’s try and not screw this up. We want to prove to your Mother that we know what we are doing!
JULIET
High five!
After about a week of good behavior Juliet starts in on her new cultural education. She gives Connor her new number and they go to New York ( montage of movie marquees, concerts, music club marquees and clips of bands.)Art house movies ( A WOMEN UNDER THE INFLUENCE, PINK FLAMINGOS, LAST TANGO IN PARIS, PHANTOM of THE PARADISE and more, Visits to CBGB’S, to see Television, Patti SMITH, RAMONES, TALKING HEADS etc, mixed in with several trips to all the great Musuems, and free concerts in Central Park.
After many weeks of fun Conner has news .
INT. CONNOR’S ATTIC BEDROOM NIGHT
They sit on Conner’s bed
CONNER
We have been having a blast Babe, but I lost track of my direction, I really need to get back to my projects.
Juliet
I know I have been greedy with your time. I need to chill as well. We can deff slow things down.
CONNER
Well Babe it’s like this, I really need to fly. I gotta get down to Mexico and see some people and then well who knows what might happen
Juliet is frozen, a stricken look on her face.
JULIET ( trying to be cool)
Well yeah, sure you have stuff to do, I get it. We will take a break. It’s cool.
CONNER
Baby, I don’t want to leave ya hanging. I’m trying to say that this is the end of our trip. I dig ya like crazy but we can’t keep this going. OK Babe?!
Juliet lunges for his chest, holds tight and sobs.
CONNER
I know Babe, but we both got lots of things ahead of us. Let’s make the most of tonight and scoot out of here early before the house wakes up. He lifts her chin wipes her tears and kisses her.
Juliet nods, they snuggle, morning comes too soon and they sneak out of the house. Conner drops her back at Inez’s house while they listen to …….
PLACEHOLDER ( with Conner and Juliet in a funk, she is staying in at night, while watching TV Michael Madalyn’s son comes in and tries to get her to give him a handjob, she wants to scream, but knows Madalyn will not believe her , because she thinks he is perfect,and then want to throw her out)
INEZ’S house consists of three apartments on so many floors, Inez has the middle apt, the downstairs is rented to an Indian couple and the third upper apt. has become empty. Juliet floats the idea of having it for herself, but Inez draws the line and says. No way, it’s business, but she does agree to let Juliet have her birthday party there before it becomes rented again.
Juliet needs to get out of her funk since Conner has left she invites some friends and tells them to invite their friends. Juliet has filled the bathtub with ice and they sneak in beer and wine ( Boons Farm, Strawberry, and Mateus in the straw bottle.) Juliet has her record player cranking and the lights low. Some joints are passed around and they blow the smoke out the windows. Juliet drinks and smokes too much and instead of having fun becomes sadder and sadder.
INT. EMPTY APT> INEZ’S HOUSE NIGHT
Mel finds Juliet alone back in the small kitchen
MEL
Hey Birthday girl, why the sad face, there is a great party going on here.
JULIET
Oh, Mel, my life is over just and it was beginning. Conner has left for good and I just feel empty.
MEL
I know, I know your first big heartbreak. And you did it big, babygirl. Come on you had to know dating a MAN 8myears older than you was not going to last forever. Just remember the good time’s sweets, and there were lots, right?!
JULIET (trying not to sob)
Yeah
MEL
Well, that’s life babydoll! Up one minute down the next. It’s a tightrope act, like that guy we saw on Johnny Carson, right, the tightrope walker, what’s his name Petit? Yeah, Petite! You gotta get out there and try stuff, You might fail big, but the next time you will be a fuckin huge success And the successes get you through, right!
JULIET
How did you get so damn smart Mel. Sometimes I think you are from the future.
MEL
Sometimes when I smoke the really good weed, I think I AM from the future! And you know, the future is gonna be a fuckin blast. I’m gonna make sure of it! Now come on my little JEWEL we have a party to conquer!
She pulls Juliet up and they enter the party singing along to OH YOU PRETTY THINGS by BOWE . Mel hands her a joint
INT. LIVING ROOM INEZ’S HOUSE MORNING
Juliet sleeps on the pull out sofa , sideways in her clothes from the party.
MADALYN
Wake up Sneeking Beauty. You kept me up last nite now it’s my turn. We need to have a talk when Inez gets up.
JULIET ( opening one eye )
What time is it?
MADALYN
Time for you to help out around here. There’s cooking and cleaning to do
JULIET
It’s to early and it’s Saturday
MADALYN
Yes, Saturday and lots of chores to do! Party’s over as they say.
INEZ
Madalyn! What is the rush. Can we please have breakfast first
MADALYN
Well, look who it is, up at last, I don’t know which one of you is worse!
INEZ
Madalyn can I please enjoy some peace, it’s my weekend too!
MADALYN
and it will be
INEZ
SHUSH! Coffee first!
Juliet takes a look at herself and rushes off to the bathroom to freshen up. She joins Inez at the breakfast table.
INEZ
Well, I knew this day was coming, I was just hoping it would not be this soon. Time to pay the piper I’m afraid.
A rousing argument ensues and Madalyn demands that Juliet return home. It’s back to square one.
end scene
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Mickey Gonzalez Has Completed Act 2 Draft 1
What I learned doing this assignment is I want to get to reality of the scenes and not make any mistakes along the journey.
Outline any scenes that you haven’t gotten to yet from Act 2.
Mark is next door to Kafel’s Traven. He approaches them with four policemen dress in uniform and guns. He is accusing them of having his vast collection and the stolen manuscript.
The tenant she is mad about the intrusion she is yelling at Mark. He looks at her and back at his car. The lights are on at Kafel’s Traven. The Leon signs are on in the neighborhood. The neighborhood is quiet.
A couple of boys come out of Kafel’s Traven. One is forcing a girl into a parked car. She resembles Raquel. This enrages Mark. He knocks the boy back. Then he recognizes is not Raquel.
Write scenes.
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Christi has Completed Act 2 Draft 1
What I’ve learned is that I lack the basic structure understanding and have been operating by instinct. What’s more, I’m excited to report I think I’m starting to get it!
The scenes are almost double act 1- I noticed this as I put out the cards on the floor. The script was of course already written before this course began so I’m just tweaking the scenes as directed. I’m not wordsmithing as I want to ensure a 20 percent quality correction.
There are a few scenes I’m still unsure of- I have a interview scene that goes back and forth with many characters. Readers have said 2 pages is WAY too long for that scene. I’ve left it in but know it must be fixed in subsequent drafts.
Onward!
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Lora has Completed Act 2 Draft 1
What I learned doing this assignment is it’s always good to read your writing with fresh eyes.
Made a few minor tweaks;
nothing worth reposting.
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