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Post Day 16 Assignment Here
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Charles Ferrell has completed Act 2 Draft 1
What I learned while doing this assignment is keep hashing out new scenes and let the characters take you where they want to go.
ACT 2
INT.EMERGENCY ROOM – SAME TIME
TRIAGE NURSE
Burst’s through the double doors from the ER waiting area into the treatment area
EMT’s called they are in route with multiple units, along with Fire Rescue. They have one burn, two serious lacerations, another with some broken bones. Oh and one Fire Rescue is still trying to cut out of a car, that is pinned under a Semi Trailer…
All piled up in the construction zone, lets hope we don’t end up with more.
ATTENDING PHYSICIAN
Ok, thank you.
Listen up, I know its shift change but for now no one goes home in case we see more..and will someone put on a pot of coffee..it maybe a long night.
Hitomi who had just removed her lab coat, took a deep breath and turned taking it back off of the wall hook.
INT.DUNCAN APT – 2 AM
Hitomi is quietly entering the apartment exhausted, sits on the couch and falls asleep within minutes
INT.DUNCAN APT – 8 AM
Duncan hurriedly as he is walking out the door mentions to Hitomi
DUNCAN SMALLS
I can’t do coffee, I have to go to see a shrink or declare my thesis theme
A half asleep Hitomi gets up and grabs him by the sleeve.
HITOMI NAKAMURA
Therapist? I mean (rubbing her eyes) Therapy is always a good thing but this is sudden. I’m confused, what does a therapist have to do with your theme?
DUNCAN SMALLS
I was given umm….its an ultimatum from the chancellor
HITOMI NAKAMURA
Wait.. wait, you spoke with the chancellor and you have an ultimatum? I’m so lost, after spending the night stitching up bleeding children, I’m trying to catch up here.
DUNCAN SMALLS
Somehow, the Chancellor found out about my nightmare or um.. my visions…I’m not sure which or how but he said either declare it as a thesis theory or declare I’m crazy.
HITOMI NAKAMURA
Surely, he didn’t say crazy
DUNCAN SMALLS
Well, no not crazy but he did say declare or go see a therapist.
HITOMI NAKAMURA
Consider, that both might be an option. Declare to take some pressure off and see a therapist. Honey, in the span of a decade you lost your entire family…a therapist is not an all-together terrible idea. You should talk to someone about it.
DUNCAN SMALLS
I don’t know how to talk about it, and now I don’t have a choice
HITOMI NAKAMURA
It’s ok, no one knows how…just go talk and declare..do both and you will be ok
INT.THERAPIST OFFICE – MORNING
Opens the therapists office door, peeking in shyly
DUNCAN SMALLS
Morning, I don’t have an appt. I’m Duncan Smalls
THERAPIST
It’s quite all right, I normally do my admin paperwork at this time. I can work you in, come on in.
Duncan comes in and takes the seat that she motions too
THERAPIST
So, how can I help?
DUNCAN SMALLS
I don’t know, not sure how this works.
THERAPIST
Fair enough, tell me about the people or situations in your life where you feel ….lets say pressured or stressed.
DUNCAN SMALLS
Well, I’m a phD candidate, that is the definition of stress and I also teach level 1 history courses.
THERAPIST
That is good clarity, is your family supportive in your efforts?
DUNCAN SMALLS
I..I have no family, my parents died in a car accident when I was 14. My grandmother who raised me after that, died when i was a junior in college…that’s really it.
THERAPIST
Ok, so who are you close too, who do you spend time with?
DUNCAN SMALLS
Uhhh, my girlfriend Hitomi..not sure I have anyone else.
THERAPIST
Good to know, anything else that I should know about..maybe anything that doesn’t fit, or feels out of place in your life?
DUNCAN SMALLS
I have seen…well I’ve had trouble sleeping lately.
THERAPIST
Got it, has anyone else seen anything unusual that would make them not sleep well?
DUNCAN SMALLS
Duncan pauses and notices a large brass vase about 4 feet high to the right behind the therapist and in it sees the reflection of the little girl standing beside him.
No, I guess not yet
INT.UNIVERSITY – DAY
Duncan sees Professor Winfield in the Hallway near the History department teachers lounge and corners him
DUNCAN SMALLS
Prof Winfield, can I bother you? I believe I’m ready to declare my theme.
PROFESSOR WINFIELD
I’m running behind but can give you two minutes and two minutes only.
DUNCAN SMALLS
My thesis theme will be “Undocumented Japanese internment camps”
Professor Winfield physically moves back slightly in reaction, he is obviously triggered
PROFESSOR WINFIELD
Tha..that’s a ridiculous choice..pure conspiracy theory and the board will reject it.
DUNCAN SMALLS
(intrigued and confused by the reaction)
I’m not sure why its ridiculous, the object of a PhD is to uncover the unknown.
PROFESSOR WINFIELD
(starting to walk away)
Look, declare whatever you want but that is nonsense
INT.UNIVERSITY LIBRARY – DAY
Seated at a library computer Duncan is searching library archives and declassified information about locations of US Japanese internment camps, student library staff walks up.
DUNCAN SMALLS
Hi there.
LIBRARY STAFF
Oh, its you again, Great. Did you book this computer time? You can’t just take it.
DUNCAN SMALLS
Uh, no I don’t think so
LIBRARY STAFF
I know you didn’t, because someone is waiting. I need you to go over to the reading area or leave.
He moves to the overstuffed chair in the reading area with one book he has and falls asleep. He dreams of the camp again, he sees men in lab coats and it begins to rain metal paperclips. The paperclips quickly pile up and he cannot move, they are about to over take his face he begins to panic. He wakes from the dream with a scream, the book goes flying the whole library is now looking at him, Including the Chancellor who is leading an Alumni tour group. He locks eyes with the Chancellor.
INT.UNIVERSITY CONFERENCE ROOM – NEXT DAY
A board of professors including the Lead Panel Professor is meeting to accept PhD thesis themes for Science Doctorates, Duncan slips into the back of the room.
LEAD PANEL PROFESSOR
Calling Candidate William Trilio
Young man well dressed but in clothes that are not his size approaches the seated panel of professors.
PHD CANDIDATE 3
Thank you board members, the theme for my thesis is “Cell Mytosis in high altitude environments”
LEAD PANEL PROFESSOR
Very nice, (he looks at the other members nodding their heads) Approved…Next Candidate (looking at his list) Oh, that was the last one.
Duncan rushes forward and steps forward in front of the panel
LEAD PANEL PROFESSOR
Yes, may I help you…did we skip you?
DUNCAN SMALLS
No, sir…I’m not on the list but I would like to declare my theme
LEAD PANEL PROFESSOR
I appreciate your enthusiasm but that is not how this works, however you do look familiar
DUNCAN SMALLS
Yes, sir I’m Duncan Smalls, I was here presenting for the History Board last week.
LEAD PANEL PROFESSOR
(has a little chuckle) That is definitely not how this works, this is the Science Board. I do remember you now, are you still working on it?
DUNCAN SMALLS
I’m ready sir, I’m sorry to interrupt or break the rules, I promised you I would deliver.
LEAD PANEL PROFESSOR
No one is here from the History Department. But since we finished early and being that I am on the State Board of Regents, I’ll listen, go ahead.
DUNCAN SMALLS
Thank you sssir, My theme, my thesis theme that is….is Undocumented
(his voice shaking, he closes his eyes takes a deep breath and sees the paperclips raining again, then abruptly blurts out) Undocumented U.S. Japanese Internment Camps and their relationship to Operation Paperclip.
LEAD PANEL PROFESSOR
That sounds interesting, thank for doing what you promised, even as unorthodoxed as it maybe. I’ll take it upon myself to approve it and assign Professor Winfield to supervise it…Thank you
INT.DUNCAN APT – EARLY EVENING
DUNCAN SMALLS
Lets go to the Library and celebrate
HITOMI NAKAMURA
We have something to celebrate? Ok, I’m game.
DUNCAN SMALLS
I followed your advice and it worked! I’ll tell you more when we get there.
HITOMI NAKAMURA
Oh wonderful! Yeah, lets go!
INT.THE LIBRARY BAR – MOMENTS LATER
Duncan walks in the door and motions to the bartender
DUNCAN SMALLS
I’ll take a Dark Draft and (turns to Hitomi)
HITOMI NAKAMURA
A malbec, 6 oz is good
DUNCAN SMALLS
(repeats) 6oz Malbec, thank you
They grab a nearby booth and take a seat
HITOMI NAKAMURA
Sooo, lets have it…I want to hear the good news
DUNCAN SMALLS
So I declared today..yep yep and it was accepted
HITOMI NAKAMURA
Yeah!
DUNCAN SMALLS
(interrupts slightly) Oh and I saw the therapist
The drinks arrive at their table
HITOMI NAKAMURA
I didn’t know you were on the schedule to present today….did Win..
DUNCAN SMALLS
Winfield
HITOMI NAKAMURA
Yeah, Winfield..did he get you added?
DUNCAN SMALLS
No, not exactly..I.I walked into the back of the Science presentation and they worked me in
HITOMI NAKAMURA
Wooooorked you in,,Ok? I guess it worked. How did it go with the therapist? Not that you have to tell me.
DUNCAN SMALLS
Ok, I guess, she asked me about my family I told her and told her about you and well,,,I guess that was it…I don’t know how it should go.
HITOMI NAKAMURA
Ok, so when are you going back for the next one?
DUNCAN SMALLS
I don’t think I am, didn’t seem very helpful
HITOMI NAKAMURA
Therapy is not a “once and done” kind of thing. Oh and what did you declare? I forgot to ask
DUNCAN SMALLS
Undocumented U.S. Japanese Internment Camps and their relationship to Operation Paperclip.
HITOMI NAKAMURA
That is a pretty specific mouthful, sticking with the dream theme? Oh and whats the paperclip thingy?
DUNCAN SMALLS
It’s from another dream I had
INT.COFFEE SHOP – NEXT MORNING
Already at their normal table with early morning smiles in the sunshine as it comes into the shop
DUNCAN SMALLS
What a great morning, really feels good
HITOMI NAKAMURA
It’s always good to mark somethings off your list.
DUNCAN SMALLS
Yes it sure is (coffee arrives)
HITOMI NAKAMURA
I do wish you would consider seeing the therapist again, if even just for me.
DUNCAN SMALLS
I don’t know…not sure what to say, or what I’m supposed to get out of it? How do I know if I’m doing it right?
HITOMI NAKAMURA
I’m pretty sure there is no “doing it wrong” you just go and talk. You could talk about your dreams?
DUNCAN SMALLS
Looks off into space, refusing to make eye contact with her
I can’t,,I don’t…I just don’t think she would understand
HITOMI NAKAMURA
Oh, I see…that again, well I need to get to work.
DUNCAN SMALLS
I have a drive myself to make (they part awkwardly)
INT.PROFFESOR WINFIELDS OFFICE – SAME TIME
At his computer drinking coffee and catching up on administrative work when he reads about his assignment to Duncan’s thesis declaration.
PROFESSOR WINFIELD
What in the Holy Hell? What the fuck can he possibly he know?
He pulls his cell from his pockets and dials, looking rattled.
PROFESSOR WINFIELD
Put me through to the Colonel, no he’s not expecting me. Yes, I know he is retired. Tell him its Winfield and its urgent, he will take my call.
EXT.STATE ARCHIVES – MIDDAY
Duncan arrives in the Capitol City and parks at the building housing the state archives, he pulls an empty file box from his trunk before going inside.
DUNCAN SMALLS
I need all palarm creek land records prior to 1951
ARCHIVES ASSISTANT
Here are land records, arial photograph, platts and newspapers are still on microphish in the corner
DUNCAN SMALLS
Finds promising records, some sketchy transactions between the fed, the state and fed funding
finds records transferring the land to the state and the federal grant to damn the creek and create the lake. Starts making copies to go in his file box.
As he is making copies he gets a call from the hospital that hitomi has been in a car accident. He quickly dumps the files in the “reshelve” bin and rushes out.
INT.EMERGENCY ROOM – EARLY EVENING
He rushes an hour away to the hospital, through traffic and road construction.
Local police are in the waiting room, waiting for him. Question him about his whereabouts today if he knows of anyone that would want to hurt her.
Learns that she was followed then purposefully run off the road by two black cars that left the scene. By the time he is finished with the police, Hitomi is asleep on pain meds. Attending says she has a broken wrist and a concussion they want to keep her overnight for observation.
His car was broken into at the hospital and the copies of the records stolen. He returns home to find his apartment ran sacked.
INT.DUNCAN APT – NEXT MORNING
he is cleaning up the mess, putting things back in place. Looks out the window at his car trunk being held shut with string due to the broken lock, gives him an idea.
He calls the state archives and asks if they could make additional copies of the files he left in the bin for reshelving.
After waiting on hold, the files are missing and not reshelved. Hitmomi was targeted while he was out of town, the records were stolen where anyone knew he would come to see her and now the originals are gone, he’s onto something big.
INT.CHANCELLORS OFFICE – MID MORNING
He is called to the Chancellors office
The chancellor is visibly angry, doesn’t appreciate Duncan going over Prof Winfield and his head to the Regent.
Chancellor puts his position on suspension for going to the Regent, he can’t remove him from the PhD program since the Regent approved it. He can suspend his teaching position and require him to see the therapist to stay in the program.
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Don Thompson has completed Act 2 Draft 1
What I learned: To write quickly and not obsess about wordsmithing on the initial draft. To try to find sparks of creativity in the moment by throwing myself into the process.
EXT. MAIN DECK – A HOUR OR SO LATER
The men gather around the sea casket that hold’s Johnson’s body. Radcliff reads from a prayer book.
RADCLIFF
Enoch Johnson performed his duties well as Captain of the Foretop. We, therefore, commit his Body to the Deep, to be turned into Corruption, looking for the resurrection of the Body and the life of the world to come, through our Lord Jesus Christ, who at his coming shall change or vile body, that it be like his Glorious Body, according to the mighty working, whereby he is able to subdue all things to himself. Amen.
The men silently watch. Danskar crosses himself. TWO SAILORS lift up a plank and the body slides from the coffin’s bottom and out to the sea.
The men all observe silently.
RADCLIFF
Dismissed.
Seymour, who has been standing next to Radcliff, approaches Billy.
SEYMOUR
Budd – the Captain wishes to see you.
Billy nods.
INT. CAPTAIN’S QUARTERS – SAME TIME
The Captain sits at his deck. There is a KNOCK on his door.
CAPTAIN
Enter.
Seymour and Billy enter.
CAPTAIN
At ease.
The Captain stands and approaches the two men.
CAPTAIN
Budd, I’ve conferenced with Lts. Seymour and Radcliff and they agree you should become Captain of the Foretop.
Billy is somewhat astonished and smiles.
BILLY
Thanks for that, Captain. I don’t like the circumstances of it, but thank you. Did you tell Mr. Claggart?
CAPTAIN
Don’t mind Claggart. I’ll inform him soon enough. Do you want the position?
BILLY
I’d be honored, sir.
CAPTAIN
Do you feel you’re ready?
BILLY
I feel ready, sir.
CAPTAIN
You’re well-liked among the men, Billy Budd. You engender a natural affection from them.
BILLY
Ah… it’s nothing sir. Just trying to do my best.
Beat, the Captain eyes him over.
CAPTAIN
Good then. Lt. Seymour will fill you in with any details tomorrow morning when you’ll officially take the post.
Billy nods.
CAPTAIN
I have one other question for you, Budd.
BILLY
Yes sir.
CAPTAIN
Who, in your mind, was responsible for Johnson’s death?
Billy ponders.
BILLY
Well… I suppose if I was to pinpoint it, sir, it would be Mr. Claggart.
CAPTAIN
Really? Now, in front of God and me and with Mr. Seymour as a witness, why do you believe this?
BILLY
Mr. Claggart knew Johnson was ill. He should have ordered him to the sick berth. He let him work.
CAPTAIN
He knew he was ill?
BILLY
Yes sir. I witnessed him ask Johnson to pick up a bowl of soup that was spilled, and Johnson couldn’t do it because of the pain. Claggart should have sent him to the sick berth straightaway, in my opinion.
He examines Billy.
CAPTAIN
You wouldn’t lie to me now, would you lad?
BILLY
No sir. I respect you too much sir.
Beat.
BILLY
With your permission, sir?
CAPTAIN
Go ahead.
BILLY
Mr. Claggart rules with an iron fist. If he loosened it up a little, he would do better.
The Captain nods.
CAPTAIN
Thank you Budd. Dismissed. Mr. Seymour, stay here please.
Billy leaves, and Seymour stays behind. The Captain returns to his desk and sits.
CAPTAIN
Have a seat.
Seymour sits in front of the Captain’s desk.
CAPTAIN
What do you think about Budd’s assessment of Claggart?
SEYMOUR
I agree with it.
CAPTAIN
We also knew Johnson wasn’t well. We could have stepped in.
SEYMOUR
But Claggart had the closest proximity to Johnson. And we were working to replace Johnson with Budd.
Beat.
CAPTAIN
I’m concerned about Claggart. About the men not taking orders properly.
SEYMOUR
He is a little harsh.
CAPTAIN
We need balance. If we tighten the grip too much we will lose the men. I won’t have a mutiny on this ship.
There is another KNOCK on his door.
CAPTAIN
Yes?
Claggart enters.
CLAGGART
With your permission, sir?
CAPTAIN
What is it?
CLAGGART
About Kinkaid.
CAPTAIN
Yes – what do you advise?
CLAGGART
I would say a hundred lashes, sir. As soon as possible while the event is fresh in the minds of the men.
CAPTAIN
A hundred?
CLAGGART
A hundred.
CAPTAIN
Do ten.
CLAGGART
Ten. That’s hardly enough for the infraction, sir, in my opinion.
CAPTAIN
Yes, in your opinion. (he turns to Seymour) Mr. Seymour, is ten lashes enough?
SEYMOUR
It should suffice.
CAPTAIN
You see, Mr. Claggart. Mr. Seymour agrees. It will be 10.
Beat.
CLAGGART
As you wish.
He turns to leave.
CAPTAIN
Mr. Claggart. Claggart turns around.
CAPTAIN
I’ve decided to promote Budd to Captain of the Foretop. Not O’Daniel.
Claggart stares ahead silently.
CAPTAIN
I… advise you to be supportive of Mr. Budd. Give him a chance to succeed. I believe he will.
CLAGGART
You know my opinion of Budd, sir.
CAPTAIN
Hmm. That I do. Thank you, Mr. Claggart. You may go.
EXT. MID-SHIP DECK – DAY
Kinkaid is tied on mid-deck, ready for his lashing.
Claggart nods to the sailor holding the staff to begin the punishment.
CLAGGART
One… two… three… four…
five… six… seven… eight…
nine… ten… el…
(Claggart almost says ‘eleven’ but holds his tongue.)
Claggart nods to the sailor with the lash, who releases Kinkaid. Kinkaid has suffered some, but clearly not to the extent that Claggart would like.
Seymour stands in front of the crew.
SEYMOUR
Dismissed.
INT. CAPTAIN’S QUARTERS – MINUTES LATER
There is a KNOCK on the Captain’s door. The Captain looks out the rear window of his cabin.
CAPTAIN
Come in.
Seymour enters.
SEYMOUR
You called for me.
The Captain nods for him to sit then sits at his desk.
CAPTAIN
As you know, I’m concerned about Claggart. There’s something about him, something underneath his skin, that concerns me.
SEYMOUR
May I speak frankly?
CAPTAIN
I expect you must.
SEYMOUR
Well… he has, shall we say, a mixed background. He was forced into the Navy, more or less.
CAPTAIN
Forced?
SEYMOUR
As is rumored, it seems he may have killed a man. But the circumstances are somewhat murky. I knew of these things from his onboarding documents but for various reasons have kept them to myself.
Beat.
SEYMOUR
It was a friend of his that was killed. A close friend – a very close male friend, if you catch my meaning.
CAPTAIN
Really? He wasn’t married?
SEYMOUR
No. And he has confirmed this to me.
CAPTAIN
And this ‘close friend’ was a casualty of sorts. Perhaps.
SEYMOUR
It appears so. Again… I don’t know the specifics. But apparently if he wasn’t on board this ship Claggart would be rotting in a London jail.
CAPTAIN
That’s comforting.
SEYMOUR
It’s that way with half the men on this ship. Meaning the impressments. We know that it’s hard to find willing recruits in these heady days of freedom, liberty, and the Rights of Man.
The Captain nods.
CAPTAIN
I need Claggart. For now. I need him for the fear he instills. But I can’t let him take it too far. We’ve seen the results already.
Beat.
CAPTAIN
I hope by promoting Budd I sent a signal to him. He needs to know who commands this ship. And Budd can provide a little balance – at least that’s my hope.
Beat. The Captain moves to his map table and splays a world map out in front of the two of them.
CAPTAIN
You see this, Mr. Seymour. (he points)
CAPTAIN
Here, here and here is the current extent of our Empire. How long do you believe it will last?
SEYMOUR
All empires end. The Byzantine, the Roman, the Ottoman. We’re just the next in line in a long list.
Beat.
SEYMOUR
But all that’s philosophy sir, and not good for morale. We have a war to fight. I, for one, will not turn against my country in times of trouble.
The Captain nods and looks at him intently.
INT. LOWER DECK – NIGHT
Squeak approaches Billy’s hammock. He looks around, seemingly intent on making it seem like it wasn’t tied properly.
Suddenly, Danskar appears.
DANSKAR
What are you doing?
Squeak is surprised, and moves back.
DANSKAR
Messing with Billy’s gear again?
SQUEAK
I ain’t messin’ with his gear.
He grabs Squeak’s arm and holds it tight.
SQUEAK
Let me go!
DANSKAR
Just because I fear God doesn’t mean I haven’t broken an arm or two!
Squeak glares at him.
SQUEAK
Let me go! You’ll be on the report for this!
DANSKAR
On the report like Billy? I’ll slash you in your sleep. In God’s name I’ll do it.
Squeak glares at him, and Danskar loosens his grip.
EXT. MID-SHIP – NIGHT
Billy is on watch. Claggart also walks the deck. Billy notices Claggart looking out over the ocean and approaches him. The sea is calm, and there is very little wind.
BILLY
Good evenin’, sir.
CLAGGART
Good evening Budd.
BILLY
It’s a calm night. The ocean is peaceful.
Claggart gives an ironic LAUGH.
CLAGGART
Yes. Peaceful on the surface. Underneath, I guarantee it’s quite different.
Beat.
BILLY
Sir, may I speak to you about something… personal.
Claggart tuns to him.
CLAGGART
Personal? (he turns away) I’m not the one to confide in, Budd.
BILLY
But I’d like to be your friend, sir. I’d like to count you as one.
Claggart looks out to the ocean.
CLAGGART
I don’t have any friends. Never been good at it.
Beat.
CLAGGART
I suppose I did have a friend, once. A good friend. He died, though.
BILLY
Sorry about that, sir.
CLAGGART
Died of consumption. You know that ailment, Budd? Many in London contract it.
BILLY
I’ve heard it is a bitter disease.
CLAGGART
Bitter and painful.
He looks down.
CLAGGART
I couldn’t stand it, really.
Billy is silent. Claggart continues.
CLAGGART
Day in and day out, the hacking cough. His suffering. I had to end it.
BILLY
End the friendship, sir?
Claggart looks at him intently.
CLAGGART
He was going to die, you know.
Billy nods.
Claggart has tears in his eyes.
CLAGGART
You remind me of him.
Billy smiles.
Claggart looks him over, then his face contorts in rage.
CLAGGART
Get away from me! I see through you. Butter me up, get me to admit things and talk to the men behind my back. Get them to laugh. Mock me. I won’t have it.
Billy backs up, somewhat astonished.
CLAGGART
You think you’re so clever! You cannot get inside me, Billy Budd. There is nothing here! There is nothing left but a deep blackness. That is all he left me with.
Beat.
BILLY
Do you really take pleasure in cruelty, sir? That’s what they all say. I can’t believe that. No man can be like that. I believe you hate yourself, Mr. Claggart.
Claggart glares at him.
CLAGGART
Hate myself? That’s a good one, Budd. I hate myself. But I disagree. It’s you I hate.
BILLY
But I remind you of your friend.
CLAGGART
No… I was wrong. You are not like him.
Again, Claggart tears up.
CLAGGART
Go!
Billy jumps back. Then he nods and leaves.
Claggart continues to walk the deck. Squeak approaches him.
SQUEAK
I can’t get anything more on Budd, sir.
CLAGGART
What do you mean?
SQUEAK
I mean his Black friend watches his hammock like a hawk. It seems anytime I try to mess with it he’s there to stop me.
CLAGGART
Try harder.
SQUEAK
I am. But I’m tellin’ you it’s getting tougher. The men are on to me and they don’t like it.
Beat.
CLAGGART
Do what you can. Get him to admit they’re thinking of mutiny. I’m convinced they are – Budd and the other impressments.
Beat.
SQUEAK
Aye, sir. I’ll do what I can.
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Lesson 16 – Finish Act 2
ASSIGNMENT
BG Has Completed Act 2 Draft 1
What I learned doing this assignment is: I’m trying to stick to my 4 Act Transformational Structure, my Beat Sheet, and High Speed Writing. I’m trying to keep it short. A 90-page screenplay.
A CLUB FOR PATRIOTS
ACT 2 DRAFT 1
Write the “Reaction to the ACT 1 Turning Point” scene.
INT. CHEAP HOTEL – LONDON – NIGHT
Reporter is seated in front of his laptop at the cheap hotel desk.
ON THE SCREEN: Reporter and Hacker are in their separate little windows. In Hacker’s window, the part of his apartment visible behind him is nice.
REPORTER: There I was, working up my courage to go inside, when this big lady comes up from behind. She grabbed me and took me — walked me right into the Club and hired me.
HACKER: Really hard up for waiters, huh?
REPORTER: Said she remembers me from Chez Jean. I have zero recollection of her.
HACKER: Hmm… Moving faster than I expected, I wonder if you’re ready —
REPORTER: And I have to meet Mr. Billionaire tomorrow — for inspection!
HACKER: Oh dear, do you have anything to wear?
REPORTER: Not really. Clean jeans?
HACKER: No! Fortunately for you, London has many used-clothing shops. We like to buy things we can’t afford. A nice navy-blue sports jacket, nice shirt, gray wool slacks…
ON THE SCREEN: Already scrolling on the screen are store-front photos of several used-clothing shops, their addresses and a map.
HACKER: You want to be humble, pleasant and compliant. Delightful would help, but you can’t handle delightful. Don’t mention you are a mechanical engineer, or that you have been dumped. Don’t volunteer, wait to be asked. Remember, you are a servant now. Not an equal. Nobody wants an uppity servant.
REPORTER: Yeah, yeah.
HACKER: And lose the attitude. If he likes you, he’ll keep you around and you can find out things. Smart is optional, compliant is key!
REPORTER: How am I going to explain what I’m doing in London?
HACKER: You’re an expat who wants to see the world. Got that? An expat who wants to see the world.
REPORTER: I hate to lie.
ON THE SCREEN: In his window, Hacker throws up his hands.
HACKER: Fine scruples for an undercover reporter!Write Key Scene 2: Protagonist takes on a plan and executes it.
INT. LOBBY – THE CLUB – DAY
Three-story high lobby. The Carrara-marble floor shines like glass. Hostess spots Reporter standing hesitantly at the entrance. She glides toward him like an ocean-liner.
HOSTESS (whispering): Mr. Billionaire is on the floor! This way.
She takes firm charge of his arm and leads. Billionaire spots them approaching.
BILLIONAIRE: Welcome to the team.
REPORTER: Thank you, sir.
BILLIONAIRE: Ms. Hostess here tells me you worked at Chez Jean.
REPORTER: Yes, sir.
BILLIONAIRE: I was thinking of having flounder au gratin for dinner. What wine, do you think?
REPORTER: Perhaps a Sauvignon Merceau ’86, sir?
Billionaire’s eyebrows shoot up.
BILLIONAIRE: You know your wines!
REPORTER: I know my labels, sir.
BILLIONAIRE: You can serve me dinner at 8.
He marches off. Hostess smiles — pleased with herself.
HOSTESS: Haaa! He was expecting you to say, White wine! You don’t really know all the wines in the world, do you?
REPORTER: Just the top two hundred, Ma’am.
Hostess pats him hard on the back. He gets pushed forward a foot.
HOSTESS: I knew you were smart and you would pick up on that ‘if you can read foreign wine labels’ talk!INT. CHEAP HOTEL – LONDON – NIGHT
Reporter sits in front of his laptop at the desk.
ON THE SCREEN: Reporter and Hacker are in their separate little windows.
REPORTER: Well, your plan to ingratiate myself worked. He wants me to serve his dinners.
HACKER: I don’t know, they’re probably desperate. Nobody wants to serve anymore!
REPORTER: I had to lie to him, I had to lie to that hostess woman, I had to lie to my fellow kitchen staff… Why can’t I just tell him I’m a reporter and would like to interview him —
HACKER: If we’re right about what we think is going on over there, then, you better tell me now what kind of flowers you’d like me to send to your wake.
(beat)
HACKER: That is, assuming they find your body.
REPORTER (thoughtful): As a reporter, I’m kind of protected, but you’re not.Write Key Scene 3: Not only does their plan fail, but…
INT. CORRIDOR OUTSIDE BILLIONAIRE’S OFFICE – THE CLUB – NIGHT
Reporter approaches, pushing the serving cart. Knocks on the door.
REPORTER: Your dinner, sir.
BILLIONAIRE (calling from inside): Please leave the cart outside the door.
REPORTER: Very good, sir.INT. CORRIDOR OUTSIDE BILLIONAIRE’S OFFICE – THE CLUB – NIGHT
The door opens. Billionaire pushes the serving cart out. Stops short, staring. In the distance, the Reporter is visible from behind, turning the corner.INT. LOBBY – THE CLUB – DAY
Hostess waits near the entrance. She grabs Reporter as he enters. Reporter cringes slightly — it hurts!
HOSTESS: Number 1. You enter by the service entrance! Number 2. He saw you last night! He’s angry! Says you were loitering near the St. Michael conference room! He never lets anyone near there. He has his most important meetings there. Told me to keep you away from the whole floor!
She looks at him strangely.
HOSTESS: I’ll give you a floor-plan so you don’t get lost like that again.Write the Midpoint scene.
INT. CHEAP HOTEL – LONDON – NIGHT
Reporter sits in front of his laptop at the desk.
ON THE SCREEN: Images and instructions for various listening devices, electrical circuitry…EXT. BUSTLING STREET – LONDON – DAY
Reporter enters a shop. The sign above the door reads: “You-Do-It Electronics.”EXT. OUTSIDE THE CLUB – NIGHT
Reporter, dressed in dark slacks and turtle-neck, stands eyeing a partially-open, second-floor rear-window that overlooks the dark alley behind The Club. He starts to climb up the drain-pipe, steps on the decorative ridges and disappears into the window.INT. INSIDE THE CLUB – NIGHT
Using a tiny screwdriver, Reporter opens the thermostat of the St. Michael conference room and installs a tiny device.INT. ST. MICHAEL CONFERENCE ROOM – NIGHT
A modern-day star chamber in an Empire-style conference room, with computer screens everywhere. Billionaire sits at the head of the 15-foot long table, presiding. Around the table are an ENERGY MOGUL, a DEFENSE MOGUL, a retired 4-star GENERAL, and a former PRIME MINISTER.
BILLIONAIRE: Gentlemen, Northstar’s foundation is in place. We are ready to launch.
The Energy Mogul shifts uncomfortably in his seat.
ENERGY MOGUL: So the 20 billion is in the bank and we can start to transfer some funds to our Turkish friends running the ops?
He is an American oil and gas billionaire, whose goal in life is growing his energy empire by selling LNG (liquefied natural gas) to Europe. A big, ruddy man, he sits with his right leg propped up on a velvet-covered Ottoman – painful, his gout is acting up.
GENERAL: Are we really sure we can trust their action plan?
PRIME MINISTER: Our experience has been that militants they transferred to other theaters have not stayed loyal.
BILLIONAIRE: I think we have no choice but to trust their judgment at this point. The media campaign I have initiated is showing success. Public demand for military action is growing.
(beat)
BILLIONAIRE: Well, that’s it, gentlemen.
He stands up — terse, not a man who would brook insubordination.INT./EXT. REPORTER’S CAR – STREET NEAR THE CLUB – NIGHT
Reporter, sitting in his car, looks upset and pissed off. Using a hand-held remote, he turns off the listening-device and pulls out his cellphone. He touches the secure-link icon on the phone.INT. NEWSROOM – DAY
Editor, sitting at his desk, is visible through the glass wall of his office. His desk phone RINGS with a special sound.INT. EDITOR’S OFFICE – NEWSROOM – DAY
Editor presses a special button on his desk phone and picks up.
EDITOR: Keep it short, I’ve lost faith in secure connections.
REPORTER (on Editor’s intercom, blurting): Just who the hell do these guys think they are?
Editor shakes his head and smiles — Kids! They need time to figure things out.
EDITOR: Masters of the universe?
REPORTER (on the intercom): This whole Northstar thing is just to stop Nord Stream 2!
EDITOR: You better watch your ass, kid!INT. CIA CONFERENCE ROOM – LANGLEY – DAY
DEPUTY DIRECTOR for Eastern Europe in a meeting with several STAFFERS.
DEPUTY DIRECTOR: We have received an alert from the NSA. Their keyword monitoring systems have picked up a reference to Northstar in an encrypted overseas communication.
STAFFER 1: So they don’t yet know who was communicating with whom?
DEPUTY DIRECTOR: No. They just deciphered the word Northstar.
He looks around the table.
STAFFER 2: It looks like some new players have entered the game.
STAFFER 3: We should warn MI6 so they can inform our Northstar friends.-
This reply was modified 3 years, 4 months ago by BG ERENGIL.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 4 months ago by BG ERENGIL.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 4 months ago by
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Robert Wood has completed Act 2 Draft 1
What I learned is that my script is becoming much more complicated and interesting than it started out as, but that much of that is going to have to come out in rewrites because this process is too fast to allow time for major research along the way.
Act 2 Draft 1
INT. FAMILY HOUSE – KITCHEN – DAY
Matt prepares breakfast. Bert sips coffee meditatively.
MATT
You want to talk about it?
BERT
About what?
MATT
Last night.
BERT
Not really.
MATT
Where were you trying to get to out there in that old canoe? It probably wouldn’t even stay afloat.
BERT
I don’t remember.
MATT
You said you were going out to face it. The monster on the lake.
BERT
Did I… Did I go?
MATT
No. I stopped you.
BERT
Yes, I remember now… the monster is out there. I know it.
MATT
Sure it is.
Matt slides scrambled eggs onto a plate and places it in front of Bert.
MATT
There’s toast, bacon, tomatoes… take what you want.
Bert reaches for toast and notices the old newspaper clipping of the classified ad sitting on the counter.
BERT
Where did you find this?
MATT
It was in your office.
BERT
That’s where it should have stayed.
MATT
Sorry.
Bert holds the clipping, lost in memory.
MATT
It took me a while to remember, too. Harris placed that ad, didn’t he?
BERT
Harris… yes, I suppose it was. You remember him?
MATT
Bits and pieces…
EXT. FAMILY HOUSE – FRONT YARD – DAY
Young Matt plays outside in the summer sun with his dinosaur figures.
A taxi pulls up and a man exits: HARRIS, 24, looking like he’s fresh off a boat from Europe. He pays the cab driver, then spots Young Matt. Approaches with a smile…
HARRIS
Hi! I’m Harris.
YOUNG MATT
I’m Matt.
HARRIS
Good to meet you, little man… I like your dinosaurs!
YOUNG MATT
Thanks.
HARRIS
You know what they’re all called?
YOUNG MATT
Of course! Tyrannosaurus, Triceratops, and Stegosaurus.
HARRIS
Top of the class! Where are your parents?
YOUNG MATT
Mom & sis have gone to Saskatchewan to help my granny for the summer –- she’s sick.
HARRIS
Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. Hope she’ll be okay.
YOUNG MATT
I think she will.
HARRIS
Good. And what about your dad?
YOUNG MATT
He’s inside.
HARRIS
Want to introduce me?
YOUNG MATT
Sure –- come on!
INT. FAMILY HOUSE – DAY
Young Matt brings Harris inside.
YOUNG MATT
He’s probably in his office — that’s where he usually is.
(calls out)
Dad!
YOUNG BERT (O.S.)
Yeah? What is it?
YOUNG MATT
Company!
YOUNG BERT (O.S.)
Oh? Who is it?
YOUNG MATT
Harris!
Young Bert emerges.
YOUNG BERT
Oh, hello. You’re the fellow from the newspaper ad.
HARRIS
Harris MacKay — good to meet you.
YOUNG BERT
And you. It’s so rare to find someone who shares this particular interest.
HARRIS
Indeed it is.
YOUNG MATT
What interest?
YOUNG BERT
Harris here has come all the way over from Scotland, isn’t that so?
HARRIS
That’s right. All the way from Loch Ness, actually.
(to Young Matt)
Have you heard of Loch Ness, laddy?
YOUNG MATT
Of course! The Loch Ness Monster!
HARRIS
That’s right.
YOUNG BERT
So you can probably figure out what brings Harris here to the Okanagan.
YOUNG MATT
Ogopogo!
HARRIS
That’s it, exactly. I think we’ve got rather a lot to discuss.
YOUNG BERT
We’ve got work to do, Matty, maybe you should go outside–
YOUNG MATT
No, I can help! I know a lot about sea monster dinosaurs — there’s the Plesiosaur, and Megalodon, and–
Harris and Young Bert look at each other with a smile and nod.
HARRIS
Okay, the kid’s got what it takes!
YOUNG BERT
We’ll work in my office. Can I get you a drink first?
HARRIS
Sure.
They walk through the kitchen, where Bert and Matt are finishing breakfast.
BERT
What the hell are we doing here, anyway?
MATT
We just finished breakfast.
YOUNG BERT
Coffee okay for you?
HARRIS
Fine, thanks.
Young Bert pours two coffees.
BERT
I haven’t completely lost my mind, you know.
MATT
I know.
Young Matt grabs a pop can from the fridge.
MATT
We’re gonna have to get to work soon, you know…
BERT
Work?
MATT
Packing.
BERT
No.
MATT
No?!
BERT
I’m not going anywhere. I’ve already told you that.
MATT
It’s already arranged. This place goes on the market Monday — same time you move into Silver Springs.
BERT
They can give my room to someone else. I’m sure there’s a line-up of old fogies waiting to get in there.
MATT
There is, but Jill and I were lucky enough to get you a room — better take it while you still can.
BERT
Jillian and you — you’re both in on it.
MATT
We’re only doing what needs to be done. You’re not safe on your own anymore.
BERT
You could stay here.
MATT
Oh no — we’re not even going there.
Bert flies into a sudden rage.
BERT
Well, what the hell do you want me to do?! You come into my home — my home — and want to kick me out? What the hell is that about?!
He heads upstairs, leaving Matt to reassess his approach.
INT. FAMILY HOUSE – BERT’S BEDROOM – DAY
Bert paces the room, agitated.
Young June sits on the bed, watching him sadly.
BERT
I don’t know what to do, June. They’re trying to take me away from you… but I won’t let them. I can’t…
Bert sits on the bed next to her.
BERT
There’s too much to do. And I must find the monster — must, must, must find it.
(to June)
I’m so sorry, June… they’re leaving me no choice!
Bert resumes his pacing…
June disappears.
Matt enters carrying an empty box.
BERT
What is that for?
MATT
If I’ve got to pack everything myself I’ve got to put it somewhere. Thought I may as well start in here…
BERT
You wouldn’t dare. Not my room…
MATT
If it’s a choice…
A BEAT as Bert considers his options.
BERT
All right, God damn it!
Bert grabs the box and looks around for a place to begin. He puts the box down by the bedside table and sits on the edge of the bed. He is reluctant; dejected.
MATT
Are you going to be okay in here?
BERT
Go… just go — do whatever you need to do.
MATT
I’m just down the hall if you need anything.
BERT
Fine.
Young June appears again, sitting next to Bert; her hand on his back.
Bert starts pulling small items from a bedside table drawer: a small box… a watch… a woman’s hairbrush…
Matt exits.
INT. FAMILY HOUSE – HALLWAY / MATT’S BEDROOM – DAY
Matt passes the open door to his room and glimpses the box inside out of the corner of his eye. A moment’s resistance, and then he goes to the box.
He picks up a few papers from inside. One is a photo of himself and Harris on a boat…
EXT. BOAT ON LAKE – DAY
Young Matt, Young Bert, and Harris are out searching. Young Bert steers the boat on a slow course through the water while the others peer through binoculars.
YOUNG BERT
Seeing anything?
HARRIS
Nothing. Just waves and more waves.
YOUNG MATT
Me too. This is getting boring.
Young Matt puts down his binoculars dejectedly.
HARRIS
Don’t give up, mate. It’s early days yet.
YOUNG MATT
And I don’t think I feel too good…
Young Bert looks back at his son.
YOUNG BERT
You are looking a little green around the gills.
Young Matt makes a break for the edge of the boat; Harris steadies him as he leans over the edge.
HARRIS
Whoa. Take it easy.
Young Bert shuts the engine off and goes to Young Matt’s side as he vomits over the edge. He rubs his son’s back.
YOUNG BERT
It’s okay — don’t worry about it. Just let it out.
HARRIS
Happens to the best of us.
As they both comfort Young Matt, still bent over the side of the boat, their arms brush against each other with electric effect.
They exchange looks, and Harris brings a hand up to Bert’s back.
Matt leans back from the edge of the boat.
HARRIS
A little paler, but none the worse for wear, huh?
YOUNG MATT
I’ll be okay.
YOUNG BERT
Sure you will. Hey, it’s time to head back anyway.
HARRIS
Right — we’re not finding anything today, anyway.
YOUNG BERT
I’ll see if I can get that sonar device for next time — then we’ll really be searching!
HARRIS
Yeah, we’ll be sure to find Ogopogo then. There’ll be no hiding from us in this lake.
YOUNG MATT
Okay…
INT. FAMILY HOUSE – ENTRYWAY – DAY
The trio — Young Bert, Young Matt, and Harris — arrive back inside.
Matt is there, holding a piece of paper, watching… remembering…
Before Young Matt takes off his shoes:
YOUNG BERT
Hey, weren’t your dinosaurs out there?
YOUNG MATT
Maybe.
YOUNG BERT
You better clean them up. Toys don’t get left in the front yard.
YOUNG MATT
Now?
YOUNG BERT
Yes, now.
Young Matt mopes back out, closing the front door behind him.
YOUNG BERT
He’ll get caught up playing with them and be out there for another hour.
HARRIS
You think so?
YOUNG BERT
Oh yeah.
Matt looks at the paper he’s been carrying around.
ON THE LETTER
“Thanks for yesterday. The boat trip was great but apres was better! Let’s do it again soon – xx H.”
Matt watches Young Bert lead Harris into the office.
They kiss, then passionately start pulling each others shirts off and undoing zippers…
Matt leaves them alone in the room.
INT. FAMILY HOUSE – BERT’S BEDROOM – DAY
Matt enters.
Bert is still sitting on the edge of the bed, holding the hairbrush. Confused and sad.
BERT
Matty… This was your mother’s brush… What am I doing with it?
MATT
You’re packing, Dad.
BERT
Packing… Are we going away?
MATT
Yeah… but it’s not a rush. You got time.
BERT
Good, good. I know there’s something I should be doing. We’re going to go out on the lake again, aren’t we, Matty?
MATT
Sure, Dad.
BERT
We have to find it.
MATT
I know.
BERT
The monster’s out there, somewhere…
MATT
Sure it is.
(BEAT)
Hey, Dad, can I ask you something?
BERT
Of course.
MATT
Tell me about Harris.
BERT
Harris? I’m surprised you even remember him.
MATT
I do.
BERT
That was so long ago.
MATT
Humor me.
BERT
He was a recent university graduate. Studied anthropology, with a special interest in cryptozoology.
MATT
And that led him to come over here, place that ad, and meet you.
BERT
Yes, the similarities between the Loch Ness Monster and Ogopogo seem greater than the differences.
MATT
So you studied the monster together.
BERT
We did, yes.
MATT
What else?
BERT
We didn’t find it. What else is there?
MATT
Just curious.
BERT
Well, you were there for a lot of it, weren’t you? We took you out on the boat…
MATT
Yeah, I was there some of the time. But I’m thinking about the times I wasn’t there…
BERT
I’m not following you.
Matt looks at the old man, still clutching the hair brush.
MATT
You had an affair, Dad.
BERT
What?! Nonsense! Where did you get that idea?
MATT
I’ve seen the letters, photos. Put two and two together.
BERT
That’s ridiculous. You’re imagining things!
MATT
I’m not, am I?
BERT
Making it up, that’s what you’re doing!
Bert puts the brush down, rises, tries to find something else to focus his attention on.
MATT
Don’t avoid it.
BERT
You were a kid — you don’t know what you saw, or what you remember!
MATT
I’m remembering things, and stuff like this is filling in the blanks…
Matt holds up Harris’s letter after the boat trip.
Bert grabs it and reads it.
BERT
A simple thank you from a polite young man. That’s all I see here.
MATT
Come on — there’s more to it than that.
BERT
Besides — maybe you’re the one who was attracted to Harris!
MATT
I was 10!
BERT
Exactly! Don’t go on about things you don’t understand!
Bert waves him off.
BERT
Now, get out. Out!
MATT
I’m going to make dinner soon.
BERT
I don’t want any. I’m not hungry… and I’m feeling rather tired now…
MATT
I can bring you some–
BERT
Just leave me be! You’ve done quite enough already.
Bert resumes puttering in the bedside table drawer as Matt leaves.
INT. FAMILY HOUSE – MATT’S BEDROOM – NIGHT
Matt lies in bed, drinking wine, surrounded by assorted papers from the box.
The sound of SHATTERING GLASS from downstairs sends Matt leaping from bed…
INT. FAMILY HOUSE – KITCHEN / BACK PATIO DOOR – NIGHT
Matt runs into the kitchen.
Bert stands in his bathrobe at the broken patio door; a plant pot thrown through it now smashed on the deck.
Bert stands amid broken glass, his bare feet bleeding.
MATT
Jesus, Dad!
BERT
It wouldn’t open.
MATT
It was locked! So you smashed it?
BERT
I don’t know what happened.
Bert starts to step toward Matt.
MATT
Wait a minute! Let me sweep the glass first. Jesus, you’re already bleeding!
Matt grabs the broom from the kitchen pantry; quickly sweeps a path through the glass for Bert.
MATT
What were you doing going outside anyway?
BERT
I have to find it. It’s out there Matty–
MATT
The damn creature. You can’t keep trying to get to the lake like this.
Matt leads Bert back inside to the kitchen. From their perspective neither looks down toward the boat dock…
EXT. FAMILY HOUSE – BOAT DOCK – NIGHT
As Bert and Matt re-enter the house, Young Bert and Harris go down to the dock, drinking beers, making out and stumbling goofily in the dark on their way
YOUNG BERT
Shhh! Don’t wake Matty.
HARRIS
Don’t worry about me — I’m not gonna be talking.
On the dock, Harris drops to his knees to give Young Bert a blow-job.
INT. FAMILY HOUSE – KITCHEN / BACK PATIO DOOR – NIGHT – RESUME
Matt sits Bert down on a chair; examines the cuts on his feet.
MATT
Seriously, Bert — I don’t know what I’m going to do with you.
BERT
I’ve got to find it. I’ve got to face it!
MATT
I know, I know–
Matt wets some paper towel and cleans the blood on Bert’s feet.
MATT
It’s not too bad — we’ll get you a couple bandages and you’ll be good as new… Almost.
BERT
Matty, you’ve got to take me.
MATT
It’s winter! No-one’s out on the water for a reason — it’s fucking cold! I don’t think that’s–
BERT
You’ve got to!
(calming himself)
Take me out on the lake… just one last time. It’ll be like old days. I’ve got to find it.
(BEAT)
Please.
MATT
Okay, Bert… Okay.
BERT
Tomorrow?
MATT
Sure. We’ll go tomorrow.
INT. FAMILY HOUSE – MATT’S ROOM – MORNING
Matt digs through the last contents in the box and finds — rattling around at the bottom — a pin of NESSIE, the Loch Ness Monster. Harris has been wearing it the whole time.
Harris and Young Matt are in the room now…
YOUNG MATT
I like your Nessie pin.
HARRIS
Thanks. It was given to me by my mentor at university, Professor Hancock. He taught me everything there is to know about cryptozoology.
Harris sees the envy for the pin in Young Matt’s eyes.
YOUNG MATT
Can I have it?
HARRIS
I’d love to give it to you little man, but this is real special to me so I’m going to hold on to it…
Young Matt’s optimistic envy turns to sadness
HARRIS
Tell you what –- I’ll find one just like it and send it to you after I’m back home. How’s that?
YOUNG MATT
Okay!
In a blink, Young Matt and Harris are gone.
Matt holds the pin in the palm of his hand. Harris would never have left it behind when he went home.
MATT
So why is it here?
INT. FAMILY HOUSE – KITCHEN – MORNING
Matt finds Bert sipping coffee.
BERT
Coffee’s on. See — I’m not completely useless.
Matt pours a cup.
MATT
How are your feet this morning?
BERT
Oh, fine. I’d almost forgotten about them until you mentioned it.
MATT
Good.
Matt goes silent; something’s on his mind.
BERT
Come on — out with it.
MATT
What happened to Harris?
BERT
What do you mean?
MATT
I don’t remember him saying goodbye. When he left, I mean…
BERT
I’m sure he did. You’ve forgotten.
MATT
I don’t think so.
BERT
You’re talking out of your ass again!
MATT
Nice.
BERT
He went home –- end of conversation!
MATT
Yeah, I guess it is.
BERT
Are we going or not? Ogopogo’s not getting any younger.
MATT
Yeah… Yeah, we’re going.
Bert smiles.
MATT
Out on the lake in the middle of winter.
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Patrick Downey – Has completed Act 2 Draft 1
What I learned doing this assignment is that my original work needed so much more texture to it and I’m only 60% through this class but it has already opened my eyes to the art of screenwriting!
Act 2
It was September 6<sup>th</sup> just after the Labor Day holiday and “The Handlers” were back in the office but with a much different feel without Ray, Audie, and Carmella. They were somewhat surprised to see Cayman but greeted him with respect and courtesy. After a brief catching up, they dove right into business as usual, and it was indeed Dardanos who took the reins. While they went through the routine of selecting who would be the next Superbowl winner, there were other issues brought to the table and one of them surrounded their security.
INT. H.A.V.O.C. OFFICES
Dardanos
We should look elsewhere for security especially after what happened to Ray and Crutch was brought in by Ray and Audie.
Graham
Dardanos, I trust Crutch more than I trust you, so let it go.
Patrick’s eyes grew wider expecting a brawl right in front of him. Dardanos shakes his finger at Graham, bites his lip and runs his fingers through his hair as he exhales. Kristos can see the tension building in his son and quickly stands up.
Kristos
We have no reason to replace Crutch and no time to find a replacement. Do you all have your top three teams written down yet?
Patrick
I’ve got mine ready!
Graham
Me too.
Kristos
Son, son are you with us?
Dardanos sitting with his arms crossed looking like a little child that had just been scolded.
Dardanos
Yeah, yeah of course.
Cayman breathed a sigh of relief thinking he might experience a major setback right out the gate.
Each of the men came ready with their own thumb drive filled with information supporting their choice for the eventual Superbowl winner. This was an elaborate, thought provoking, heavily constructed performance of why the men had selected each of their three teams. It covered the marketing method of SWOT on steroids. SWOT stands for strength, weakness, opportunities and threats. Now this was no generic reasoning but almost a science of predictions based on the suspension of players/length of suspension, drug related occurrences of a particular player, finishing ability of a team’s character, coaching by position, health of key personnel, weather, inside vs. outside games and the play calling ability of the offensive and defensive coordinators. If you notice in this process, most of these attributes are things they cannot control from within the HAVOC organization. So, these qualities are paramount to their positioning and argument of their top three choices to advance into the Superbowl.
In the interim, the always overly cautious Dardanos did have Cayman relocate to where Carmella used to sit which means he could no longer see the men in their meetings. At least that is what Dardanos thought but Cayman had Jam-Sabo install hidden mini cameras and microphones throughout the vault all tied into Cayman’s laptop and a back-up mobile unit.
To set the plan in motion the group leaked a rumor to Graham O’Brien who has a big mouth and can’t keep a secret.
Graham
The word on the streets is that the mob was on to an organization on the Nevada Indian reservation which is trying to muscle in on their racket. Supposedly, they were going to deal with them and anyone who was dealing with them in their own way.
Dardanos
That’s a bunch of bullshit! No one would ever try and take on the mob in Vegas. It was a suicide mission but the fact that they were on the Indian reservation is very clever because the mob can’t touch them there.
Just hearing of this speculation sent Dardanos into a frenzy, as soon as the meeting was over, he bolted outside and placed a call to Aaron “Two Tongues” Yazzie who was his contact within the organization. Mr. Yazzie answers the phone call from Dardanos.
EXT. SIDEWALK OUTSIDE BUILDING – DAY
Yazzie
What up bro!
Dardanos
I was hoping you would tell me. I’m hearing rumors that the mob is sniffing around about us.
Yazzie
I assure you those rumors are impossible because we have kept an almost invisible profile up until this point, following ever instruction that you have given us bro.
Mr. Yazzie went on to explain that each bet that was placed with them was farmed out with a group of young Native American boys between the ages of 16 – 22 that call themselves the “painted ponies”.
Yazzie
Each boy would carry the wager slip along with the cash to a side bookie who would call the bet in as an anonymous client and receive an additional $10,000 for his autonomy. They used as many as 12 different ponies to carry out a single bet depending on the total amount.
Mr. Yazzie promised him that their end was checked backwards and forwards and there were no leaks in the operation. As they hung up Dardanos was still perplexed by the news and paced back and forth with anxiety. He felt he had no choice but to make his money in one large sum and then break ties just in case there was some truth to this rumor. Typically, the men would bet on five different games each week dropping about 10 million per game so as not to raise any suspicions within the ranks. Then double those bets during the divisional playoffs and doubling them again for the NFC & AFC championships. The Superbowl bet amount fell between 200 – 350 million depending on the interest of the teams playing that year. Bets were always placed with at least a dozen different Las Vegas booking agencies under a fictious name each year as to not bring awareness upon HAVOC. Cayman’s plan was to nickel and dime them into a position where they felt they had to place larger bets as the season moved along eventually placing the largest Superbowl bet in HAVOC’s existence. As the season got underway, it was business as usual and weeks 1 through 8 went off without a hitch. The group was sending Crutch out on a very regular schedule, and it was obvious that their payments were going off as usual.
EXT. O’HARE INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT TERMINAL – NIGHT
Crutch
What up Lieutenant?
Lt. Lundy
What’s up bossman? I see you are playing road warrior again.
Crutch
Ya man! That time again.
Lt. Lundy
Where you off to this time?
Crutch
Need to visit a player in Miami. A holdout.
Lt. Lundy
Don’t these guys know that they are throwing money away?
Crutch
Most of them are playing football for a reason if you know what I mean.
Crutch winks at Lt. Lundy gives him a fist bump and walks towards his gate.
EXT. HARD ROCK STADIUM – DAY
Crutch pulls up to the players entrance in an all black on black Range Rover. Rolls down the tinted window and hands the guard a crisp $100 bill. He slaps hands with Crutch and waives him on through. Crutch pulls up to silver coupe Mercedes pops the trunk and places a large duffle bag inside then closes it.
The Dolphins suffered their biggest home opening lost in history that day by turning the ball over 5 times and only scoring 9 points all on field goals.
However, in week 9 the wheels started to come off the train. Teams that they had poised for the playoffs started losing games and there was no explanation of why. In the midst of watching his plan fall into place Cayman was set back for a moment as he watched with millions of others as the Chicago Cubs won the World Series for the first time in 108 years. Cayman was again enraged with determination because he knew if his grandfather was alive this never would have happen. Caymen went back to his notes to see that it was indeed the Cleveland Indians that were supposed to win the World Series. This also meant that Ray had someone on the payroll that was supposed to make this happen but without his supervision and Audie also gone history took an unimpeded step forward. It happened just the way it was supposed to, naturally, for the first time in 12 years without HAVOC’s interference. However, Cayman didn’t find himself swept up in the emotion of the city over an historic win watched by millions of people or the parade celebration that went right by the office following the World Series. His friends invited him out for drinks, but he was all business making sure there were no holes in his plan.
EXT. O’HARE INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT – NIGHT
Lt. Lundy
Hey Stranger! Where in the world is Crutch going tonight?
Crutch
Oh hey Lt., I’m off to Three Rivers
Lt. Lundy
Well at least you’re going before the real cold hits.
Crutch
Tru dat! Lt., tru dat!
Lt. Lundy
See you next time bossman.
Crutch
Will do!
EXT. HINES FIELD, PITTSBURG, PA. – DAY
Crutch pulls up to the stadium drives around to the players entrance rolls down his window hands the guard a crisp $100 bill and pulls inside. However, this time he walks down the tunnel and on to the field. He greets several of the players and coaches, talks with the halftime show host and flirts with a few cheerleaders before leaving just before halftime. The difference this time was no bag drop for anyone. This process would repeat for the next three weeks in a similar fashion but in a different NFL stadium.
By week 12, two of their playoff teams were on the bubble of even making a wild card spot and their choice for winning the whole thing was on a two-game losing streak. Referees they had on their payroll to make calls were overruled by instant replay, GM’s who demanded players be pulled for rest and lack of performance were overruled by ownership, and players who had been paid to mail it in were outshined by others on their team with career performances. The Handlers were extremely upset with Dardanos and called a special meeting just before the divisional playoffs. Cayman was not invited but Crutch was on hand and he sent a text to Cayman that you could cut the tension amongst the men with a knife as they entered the vault, as the meeting got underway Cayman sat outside the building in an unmarked van with his crew. The van was equipped with a large screen HGTV, state of the art hearing devices for the impaired, a video game type device that allowed Cayman to fix the cameras directly on their mouths as they spoke, and he had ever angle possible covered. Jam-Sabo had on a thermal infused monitor that gave him the ability to read body temperatures when mood changes from anger to anxiety and every emotion in between. This gave them the ability to pick up on non-verbal motion and body language that was not being captured from the cameras. Back at their temporary staged office was Cornelius getting direct feed of the meeting and crunching the numbers they had lost thus far and what they needed to bet to win back their loses and have a huge payday.
Patrick
What is this I am hearing about side bets going on with our money? Not to mention we are still behind on this current money play you sold us.
Graham
Dardanos, you had better not be screwing us over! So help me if I catch wind of any funny business going on, I will personally beat you right out of this organization.
Dardanos
Are you two threatening me? If I remember correctly, it was my plan that put us in the driver’s seat of this company. So, sit down and shut the hell up!
Patrick
You son of a bitch, who do you think you are talking to?
Dardanos
A bunch of grown men that didn’t have the balls to stand up to Ray and Audie.
Kristos
Dardanos that’s enough!
As Dardanos looks towards his father, Graham draws back his cement block of a fist and cold cocks Dardanos right in his jaw. Dardanos stumbles back flips over a chair and lays on the ground bewildered. Graham starts at him again when Crutch breaks into the room and grabs Graham by both arms.
As the shouting continued the O’ brothers were clearly upset and came just short of blaming Dardanos for this mess. Kristos said that without his friend Audie there and Ray gone that this was his last year in the business. Then Graham asked Dardanos point blank what he knew about this organization on the Indian reservation and swore that if he had got them mixed up with this group, he would suffer the same consequences as Ray. As the room erupted in chaos Crutch had heard with his own ears that they were the ones that killed Ray but their egos were too inflated with rage to realize someone was in the room that wasn’t part of the crime. This division and untrust amongst the Handlers gave Cayman the perfect opportunity to implement his final plan. Only the AFC & NFC Championship games remained and then the Superbowl, with only 3 games left on their betting docket and millions to recover Dardanos knew he had to work fast and assured the others it was all going to be okay and just to trust him. He reminded each of them if it weren’t for him, they would still be pulling in chump change under Ray’s reign.
If Cayman was not already motivated enough, that was the nail in the coffin that set it all in motion. Cayman recorded an audio file in James Earl Jones voice and had it delivered via bike messenger at the Mac-N-Cheeze truck the Thursday before the Championship games. Agents Belfiore and Greene still on the case listened intently to every bit of evidence they were given and connected the missing links together. At the end of the tape there was one final demand before they were handed over to them the final instructions to bring down the HAVOC four. The FBI was instructed to give immunity to Audie, Carmella, and Mathis who had helped to gather the information about the others. If they were in agreement, they were to deliver a pan of their famous mac-n-cheeze with lobster meat to Cayman the young kid helping out at the office across the street the next Friday at 12 noon sharp. They would also need to have signed documents giving complete and total immunity to the three. The agents took this information back to their superiors for guidance and to decide whether it was worth the cooperation to get the remaining four behind this long running and elusive operation.
-
Peter Birdsong Has Completed Act 2 Draft 1
What I learned: Having my main points and filling in the gaps (the needed scenes that lead up to the main events) worked very well for me. I struggled the most today with the need to go back and edit–and I did once or twice, but for the most part I was able to keep going.
<font face=”inherit”>Here’s my act 2 as it is today. </font>Definitely<font face=”inherit”> 20% quality… but as I read once, and I’m paraphrasing, your crappy first draft is way better than your unwritten one…</font>
<font face=”inherit”>
</font>INT. SALON – DAY
The creaking of mast rigging can be heard as the boat moves across the open water. The whole studio apartment sized salon rocks fore and aft under Laurel’s feet as she holds herself steady in the galley.
Her decorations are everywhere they shouldn’t. Objects are sliding and rolling on the floor back and forth. She watches the chaos helpless and unsure. She moves for the door…
I/E. YACHT
Laurel carefully maneuvers to the helm station. The WHEEL turns slightly back and forth as the autopilot does it’s job.
FLAPPING overhead. Above her she notices a corner of the sail fluttering in the wind. She just stares at it, uncertain.
Laurel attempts to pull on a line, loosen another, but nothing seems to work.
INT. CARLY’S CABIN – DAY
Carly lays on her back moaning with each downward movement her room makes.
She moves gingerly to her BAG and opens the zipper. Inside is a health food bar. She stares at it considering.
The room sinks on her again and her eyes roll back.
CARLY
My God, STOP!
She THROWS the bar across the cabin.
INT. SALON – DAY
Laurel sits the NAV STATION. The computer screen shows a live map with their location and direction.
She stares at the mess. Carefully she begins to clean up putting things back where she intended.
The boat doesn’t let up. No sooner does she set a SALT SHAKER in place does it slide off the table and BANG on the floor.
She grabs the SALT and PEPPER and chucks them into a cabinet and quickly SLAMS the door shut.
She sees Carly standing at the top of the stairs. They study each other for a moment.
Carly looks at the mess around the room.
CARLY
What happened here?
LAUREL
Why do you look like that?
CARLY
I’m sick. You don’t have anything, by chance?
LAUREL
Dramamine.
CARLY
Does it work?
Laurel heads to a storage compartment and opens it. She pulls a small bag out and opens it. Inside is a cough-drop like CANDY wrapped in paper.
LAUREL
I’ve been fine all morning. It will help. Coming up top may help too.
CARLY
Really?
LAUREL
I honestly don’t know. Fresh air. That’s all I’m saying.
Carly unwraps the candy and pops it into her mouth.
She heads for the door.
LAUREL
You need this outside.
Laurel hands her an EPIRB attached to a lanyard.
CARLY
What is this?
LAUREL
If you go overboard, that will save you. I’m honestly not sure I could get the boat back around to get you.
CARLY
What a comforting thought.
Carly takes it and steps out…
I/E. YACHT
Carly walks on the deck carefully taking her to the front of the boat. On the horizon she can still make out some mountain peaks.
The boat skirts over a wave and splashes forward. SEA SPRAY covers Carly’s face and hair. Her makeup runs.
The boat bucks agains and she falls for on the Catamaran’s trampoline face first. She grabs hold and she can just see the water rushing up to her face.
The salt-water baptizes her completely. Carly lays there, her hair destroyed, her dress soaked, her makeup a runny mess. Completely defeated.
INT. SALON – DAY
Carly steps in — water dripping off of her once perfect hair.
Laurel watches her daughter come in, hiding her amusement as best she can.
CARLY
Not a word.
LAUREL
No. Did you happen to see–
CARLY
Not!… A word.
LAUREL
I have some clothes you could borrow.
Carly stops at the steps. Thinking.
CARLY
Like what.
LAUREL
Just a minute.
Laurel heads down to her own cabin.
Carly takes the time to look around a minute. Her mother’s decorations are strewn all over the floor — sliding back and forth with the boat.
LAUREL
Here you go.
Carly takes the clothes. Certainly more practical than what she’s currently wearing.
CARLY
Is that it?
LAUREL
Is that okay?
Carly looks around.
LAUREL
Yeah… I guess I’m not much of a sailer. Neither of us.
CARLY
Definitely not. Anyway…
(holds up clothes)
Thanks.
LAUREL
Sure.
Carly disappears down the stairs.
INT. SALON – NIGHT
Laurel opens a tin CAN of beans. She dumps the entire thing into a POT.
INT. SALON – MOMENTS LATER
Laurel sits at the nav station eating black beans from a bowl. The floor still littered by her failed decor.
Carly appears slowly. She looks around trying to ignore her mother.
LAUREL
There’s dinner.
Carly moves to the stove and lifts the lid on the pot.
CARLY
Dinner?
LAUREL
Feeling better?
CARLY
Some.
Carly grabs a BOWL and SPOON and empties the pot into her bowl.
Grabbing hand holds with her free hand she heads back downstairs and shuts the door.
INT. SALON – MORNING
Laurel works her can-opener on a tin of PEACHES. It pops open and she sticks a fork in.
The floor is still a mess, and Laurel takes to kicking things out of the way as she moves around.
Carly emerges. She’s clearly showered again, but she hasn’t dolled herself up like before. She’s wearing mom’s practical outfit — dressed for a day on the coast.
LAUREL
Morning. Did you sleep?
Carly looks around. Laurel holds up a can of peaches.
LAUREL
Hungry?
Carly grabs a bowl and offers it to her mother. Laurel pours half of her can into the bowl.
Carly take a fork and makes her way back down the steps to her cabin.
The door shuts.
I/E. YACHT – DAY
Laurel sits at the helm staring at the horizon. In the distance there are still signs of land. A stray mountain peak here and there.
Movement in the Salon’s windows catches her eye. It’s Carly searching the cabinets.
Laurel watches her find food and then head back downstairs. She sighs to herself.
I/E. YACHT – NIGHT
Ahead, sparkling over the black waters Laurel can easily see the lights and city of an island.
LAUREL
(into radio)
Marina Santa Cruz. Marina Santa Cruz. This is Sailing Vessel Redeemer.
Laurel waits.
HARBOR MASTER
Sailing Vessel Redeemer. We hear you.
INT. SALON – NIGHT
Carly listens as Laurel begins to speak to the Harbor Master, relaying their intention to dock and resupply before heading into the North Atlantic.
She watches through the window as the lights shimmering ahead.
I/E. YACHT – MOMENTS LATER
Laurel tosses a LINE to a dockhand who expertly secures it to the dock. Laurel moves around her boat stowing lines and tossing new ones as she goes.
She returns to the helms and shuts the engines down.
CARLY
So, where are we?
LAUREL
Hey.
(beat)
The Canary Islands.
(to Dock Hand)
Is anything still open tonight?
DOCK HAND
Sí!
LAUREL
I need your passport.
Carly already has it, and hands it to her.
EXT. OLYMPO MALL – DAY
The island market is surprisingly busy. Tourists of all kinds walk back and forth sampling each shop and pop-up vendor they find.
Carly climbs STEPS leading to a different level of the mall she’s exploring. A tent catches her eye. HATS.
She walks over to sample one SUN HAT that stands out. Carly hears someone speak in Spanish. An OLD MAN, tanned, with bright eyes and a friendly smile looks at her waiting.
CARLY
I’m… sorry. I don’t–
OLD MAN
Ah. English? American?
CARLY
Yes.
He opens his arms.
OLD MAN
Welcome to my humble shop. So, you like?
CARLY
It’s not really my style.
He stares at her, still grinning.
CARLY
Yes. I do.
OLD MAN
My wife. She–
He moves his hands over the hat as if forming it.
CARLY
You wife made this?
OLD MAN
Sí!
(gesturing to rest of stock)
All! This; just for you, I think.
Carly smiles at this awkwardly. She DOES like the hat. He gestures for her to put it on. Carly smiles and complies.
The Old Man’s smile grows even wider. He says something in Spanish that–judging by his gesture–was meant as complimentary.
OLD MAN
Just for you. If you don’t buy, I’ll remove it from the shelf.
Carly holds the hat and looks around more. She sees a folded MAP on a rack.
OLD MAN
You need a map?
CARLY
I’m not sure.
OLD MAN
Are you lost?
CARLY
Most definitely. I’ll take the map.
The old man pulls it from the rack. He reaches to a different shelf and pulls a small, cheap COMPASS.
OLD MAN
A gift. Map’s no good without this.
CARLY
Thank you… and the hat.
OLD MAN
I will tell my wife how much you love it.
EXT. MARINA SANTA CRUZ – DAY
Laurel stands on the docks. Phone in hand. An earbud in her ear.
GRANT (V.O.)
You got his vote. Laurel? Did you hear me?
LAUREL
Yes.
GRANT (V.O.)
You’re going to be the new CEO.
Laurel watches the boat in the water. Dock workers are topping off the fuel.
GRANT (V.O.)
How’s the trip going?
LAUREL
Just fine. We should make it to the Virgin Islands in three weeks.
GRANT (V.O.)
How’s Carly?
LAUREL
She’s fine. Your boat’s in good hands.
BEAT
GRANT (V.O.)
Laurel? Congratulations.
LAUREL
Yep.
She hangs up the phone.
INT. MARKET – DAY
Laurel fills a shopping cart like someone preparing for the apocalypse.
INT. MARKET – MOMENTS LATER
She waits at the checkout watching others with their own selection of groceries. Most not near the size of order she has.
She notices a newspaper on a rack. The headline reads:
DALLENTS SET TO MERGE WITH KNOX INT.
INT. SALON – DAY
The groceries are sorted in groups piled throughout the room. Cabinets are storage lockers are wide open and Laurel puts things where they belong.
INT. SALON – MOMENTS LATER
Laurel picks up her decorations that are still strewn on the floor.
INT. STORAGE LOCKER
Laurel chucks her cheap decor into the closest corner.
INT. SALON
Laurel sweeps, removing all evidence of the disaster her decorations were.
The door slides open and Carly enters. The new SUN HAT on her head. Laurel looks at it for a bit.
LAUREL
I like it.
CARLY
It’s handmade.
LAUREL
What’s in the bag?
CARLY
Nothing important.
Carly heads toward her stairs.
CARLY
You bought more than beans, right?
LAUREL
I bought bait.
CARLY
What?
LAUREL
For fishing.
CARLY
When have you ever gone fishing?
LAUREL
How hard can it be?
Carly lets out a sigh and descends the steps.
I/E. YACHT – DAY
The open blue water of the Atlantic Ocean surrounds the catamaran on all sides to the horizon.
The rigging creeks and DINGS, and The MAINSAIL is full with wind.
Laurel sits on the deck with a FISHING ROD in several pieces laid out in front of her. She looks closely at a set of instructions next to her, anchored under a glass to keep from blowing away.
INT. SALON – DAY
Carly spies her mother through the sliding glass door. She watches for a minute. Then, rolls her eyes.
The horizon catches her attention through the windows. She leans against the glass looking. It’s all blue.
She heads to the other side of the boat and looks as far as she can see.
BLUE.
She walks to the door and SLIDES it open.
I/E. YACHT
Carly, barefoot, steps out onto the deck. Studying the horizon behind her.
Laurel watches her.
LAUREL
What’s up?
CARLY
N-nothing.
Laurel looks at her closely, then follows her gaze.
LAUREL
It’s just us.
Carly sighs loudly.
CARLY
So? What of it?
LAUREL
Interested in learning how to fish?
CARLY
Are you? Apparently you are.
LAUREL
Well… I don’t know. I figure the city life made me soft. I can open an app on my phone and get fish just the way I like it delivered straight to my office.
CARLY
Salmon.
LAUREL
Salmon. On a rice bed with butter sauce and asparagus.
CARLY
I never liked the asparagus.
(beat)
So, are you catching a salmon?
LAUREL
(laughs)
No. Salmon aren’t here in the Atlantic. I don’t think they are anyway.
CARLY
Then what?
LAUREL
I’m honestly not sure. It’s a blue fish. Saw a picture in that book I have in there.
Laurel slips the final piece of the rod together, and turns it over. She then begins to attach the reel.
CARLY
Good luck.
Laurel pauses and watches her daughter head back inside.
INT. SALON
Carly walks to the Nav Station and taps the DISPLAY to wake it. The display shows a GPS location for the boat. She studies it for a moment. Next to the display… a book on sailing. It has a few sticky-note bookmarks sticking out from the pages. Carly grabs it and after one more glance at her mother sitting outside, she heads down stairs.
INT. CARLY’S CABIN
She shuts the door behind her and drops the book on her bed. She lifts her mattress. Under it she pulls out the MAP. She opens it just enough to see the Atlantic. A couple of small ‘X’s are marked through the Mediterranean and the Canary Islands. She marks a new X in the Ocean.
She then pulls out the compass from under her bed. She looks at it for a bit. Thinking. She’s almost transfixed by the needle dancing inside.
I/E. YACHT – DAY
Laurel positions the newly assemble rod into a BRACKET on the rear of the boat. She begins to pull line out for slack. She takes the end and fixes a LURE on it. Then, she drops it in the water behind the boat.
She watches the slack in the line get dragged out behind them.
LAUREL
Bring on dinner.
I/E. YACHT – NIGHT
The boat continues steadily. Laurel sits on the deck still watching the line. The ROD and LINE that show no sign of a fish.
LAUREL
Shit.
Laurel looks at her watch. Then she stands and walks over to the ROD. She starts reeling it back in.
I/E. YACHT – MORNING
Laurel pulls out some line and drops the lure into the water. Again, she watches the line drag out some ways behind the boat.
She finds a comfortable seat and sits down. She sips from a coffee mug and waits.
I/E. YACHT – DAY
That catamaran moves smoothly over the water. The bow barely splashes as it cuts into each wave and then rides over top.
Laurel’s eyes are closed.
Carly is standing nearby watching the water. She looks up at the mainsail overhead. The corner FLOPPING in the wind.
Carly tightens her EPIRB around her wrist and walks carefully around to the bow. As she does she looks at the rigging.
She sees a line strewn across the front. She picks it up and looks it over, then drops it.
She opens one hatch. Peeking inside she sees fenders piled on top of each other.
She opens another hatch. There are two large duffle-like BAGS inside, and a thick CHAIN.
She heads to the front, and grabs hold.
She hears a splash! Looking in the direction of the noise she sees something dark in the water.
SPLASH! The DOLPHIN crests and dives just in front of the racing catamaran!
Carly is taken back! She watches and sees two more crest the waves!
Then a fourth in front of the PORT HULL! She watches them. Their gracefulness. The way that dart back and forth sharing with each other whatever thrill they were experiencing in front of the boat.
She turns around looking for her mother — a brief moment to call her, and it passes. She frowns a little and turns her eyes back to the dolphins.
The catamaran cruises onward, gliding alone on the vast ocean.
INT. SALON – DAY
Carly sits at the NAV STATION watching the screen. She taps through menus, exploring.
ZZZZZZZZZZZZ!
Carly jumps, looking outside. She hurries to the door!
I/E. YACHT – DAY
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!
Carly runs out and sees the line on the roc spool out to the ocean.
Laurel sits up!
CARLY
What do we do?
LAUREL
Quick!
Laurel jumps to the rod and grabs the handle. She flips a switch and the spool SNAPS to a stop!
She starts to turn the reel.
LAUREL
Jesus! It’s heavy!
Carly watches her trying to contain her enthusiasm.
LAUREL
Grab the net!
CARLY
Where?
Laurel GRUNTS trying to reel the line in.
LAUREL
Never mind! Help!
CARLY
How??
LAUREL
Help me turn this–
The reel loosens in her grip. They exchange questioning looks. Laurel begins to reel the line in. It’s MUCH easier. The line comes in effortlessly.
Carly’s demeanor sags a bit. Disappointment washes over both of them. The line continues in, and then the LURE. Nothing on it.
CARLY
What happened?
LAUREL
We lost it.
INT. SALON – NIGHT
Laurel stands at the counter, a loaf of bread plaid out next to cheese and various meats.
Laurel assembles a sandwich and puts it on a napkin. She hands it to Carly at the table.
Laurel returns to the counter and gets to work on her own sandwich.
She sits across from Carly.
LAUREL
So?
Carly looks at her suspiciously.
LAUREL
What did you do today?
CARLY
Really?
LAUREL
There has to be something.
CARLY
There wasn’t.
LAUREL
Is this so horrible to–
CARLY
Yes.
Carly gets up and heads to the stairs that lead to her cabin.
CARLY
I saw dolphins this afternoon.
LAUREL
Dolphins?
CARLY
They were racing the boat, or something.
LAUREL
I wish I had seen that.
CARLY
Yeah.
(beat)
Thanks for the sandwich.
Carly descends downstairs.
Laurel slams her sandwich down. She leans back, breathes out, and rubs her temples.
She stands up abandoning the sandwich and heading for a cabinet. She pulls a GLASS and a bottle of GIN, and pours.
INT. SALON – DAY
Carly climbs the steps taking in the eerie calmness of the vessel. The boat is barely rocking. She’s managing quite well as she moves around.
She looks at the display showing the boat’s GPS position and relative speed: 0 knots.
CARLY
What the hell?
She looks around more urgently now. He spots her mother on the bow. DRINK in hand. Sunbathing.
I/E. YACHT – DAY
Laurel bikini-clad lays out on cushions. She takes a sip from her MARTINI.
CARLY
What are you doing?
Laurel looks at her squinting in the sun.
CARLY
Why are we stopped??
LAUREL
No wind.
CARLY
So you’re drinking!?
LAUREL
I can’t make wind.
CARLY
I don’t believe this.
LAUREL
It’s been a long voyage, and I’m a crew of one.
CARLY
I didn’t even want to be out here! Where the HELL ARE WE!?
Carly gestures out into the ocean. Nothing but water in all directions!
LAUREL
You want to get underway.
CARLY
Yes!
LAUREL
Then help! I’ve single-handed this boat since we left, cutting corners where I could–
CARLY
You could have sold the boat in France!
LAUREL
But I didn’t and here we are!
CARLY
Here we are! Trapped in the middle of the goddamned ocean!!
(beat)
Why are we doing this? We might die out here!
LAUREL
We’re not going to die.
CARLY
Why are we here?
Laurel sips her drink.
LAUREL
Your father wanted to sail.
CARLY
Oh. I get it. You feel guilty.
LAUREL
Guilty? It’s because of me he could even afford this boat.
CARLY
You feel guilty! You were never around.
LAUREL
Don’t be ridiculous. I sacrificed–
CARLY
You sacrificed alright. You gave us both up for your stupid job!
LAUREL
If it wasn’t for this job you’d have nothing.
CARLY
I have nothing now!
LAUREL
You ungrateful–I have given you everything you need!
CARLY
Except a mom! And dad never had a wife! And it took him dying for you to finally get it!
LAUREL SLAPS CARLY! The shock shoots through them both and Laurel’s eyes begin to water.
Carly caresses her cheek. They stand in silence for a minute. Carly begins to tear up.
LAUREL
When we get home, you can get off the boat. We both can.
Laurel empties her glass over the side of the boat and heads back in.
Carly continues nursing her face for a moment. She looks up at the sails laying limp against the mast.
INT. LAUREL’S CABIN – DAY
Laurel lays on her side of the bed, hand resting in the empty space next to her. Tears stream down her face.
LAUREL
I need help.
INT. SALON – DAY
Carly can hear her mother crying. It may be the first time she’s ever heard that sound.
She sits at the table with the sailing book. She opens it and begins to flip through the pages.
-
Janeen Has Completed Act 2 Draft 1
What I learned doing this assignment is that it’s easier for me to write chronologically. I had already finished the extra scenes I needed. I have one fight scene to write yet, but will do that later.
I didn’t add any new scenes.
I edited mostly for continuity. Everything else seemed okay for now.
-
Benito Selim has completed Act 2 Draft 1
What I learned from this assignment is flushing out the scenes more allowed me to tighten up the story by eliminating scenes that dragged or just took up unnecessary space.
ACT 2
INT. CLASSROOM- DAY
Darryl meets with Lorraine and Calvin before class who insure him the footage has been fixed. Darryl enters the class with them, Andrew, Marcus, and Gary to screen their project.
The project screens successfully then in the end it begins to act up again. More brutal images of Karen’s death are shown. Karen makes eye contact with Darryl and asks for help. No one else can see this.
Their teacher cuts off the film and Darryl asks if anyone else has seen Karen talking to him. Darryl receives blank stares. All the class saw was the torture and blood, Karen’s face is not visible to anyone but Darryl.
The film and camera projector itself burst into flames. All evidence Darryl had, is gone.
INT. RESTAURANT- EVENING
Darryl is reluctant to take Tina out on a date because of the earlier events but does anyway. Darryl attempts his best to not seem awkward, but Tina can spot it.
Tina eases Darry by having him talk about it. Darryl begins to feel better, Tina excuses herself from their dinner table.
While Tina is away, a woman named Ellen Paisley approaches Darryl and tells him he is not sick, but instead possesses a gift. Ellen leaves her contact and tells Darryl to contact her; alone. Darryl reluctantly accepts. Darryl is informed he is a medium not schizophrenic.
EXT. TINA’S APARTMENT- LATER
Darryl walks Tina to her apartment, she wants to invite him in, but declines. Darryl is not disappointed but feels he has a real chance with her.
Darryl gets a kiss goodnight and begins to exit when he is approached by Detective Will Garnett. Garnett informs him of a missing person case he is working on and asks Darryl to come by the station when he is available.
Garnett shows Darryl a picture of Karen and Jeff. Darryl tries not to act surprised, but Garnett catches his reaction. Garnett does not let on and leaves his info with Darryl. When Garnett exits Darryl removes Ellen’s contact from his pocket along with his phone.
INT. ELLEN’S HOUSE- DAY
Darryl contacts Ellen who invites him over. Darryl believes she is bluffing with him until she reveals details of his past. Ellen informs him that she can’t tell him who the girl (Karen) is since she is not attached to her but can only sense her presence.
Ellen tells Darryl that as a kid he helped solve a major crime. Ellen brings up Emily, Darryl is thrown into a trance-like state as Ellen speaks.
BEGIN FLASHBACK
EXT. CASE HOUSE- NIGHT
Police knock on the Case house door, Darryl opens it, officers ask for Mrs. Case. The officers inform her that the body of her husband has been found. Mrs. Case faints as Darryl stares on in confusion.
END FLASHBACK
INT. ELLEN’S HOUSE- LATER
Ellen nurses Darryl back and tell him about her past. Darryl learns Ellen survived a killing spree by one Johnny Vernon, a man who claimed he was being experimented on and that Starkoaks had a secret medical asylum under its grounds.
Ellen informs Darryl his father was one of his victims as well.
INT. MRS. CASE’S APARTMENT- LATER
Darryl pays his mother Natalie a visit to learn the truth about his father’s death. Natalie tells the truth.
BEGIN FLASHBACK
EXT. PARK- DAY
Darryl age 8 Plays in the playground while his mother looks on. Emily joins him and the two talk and laugh. Emily tells Darryl she met his father. Darryl rejoins his mother and tells her about Emily, Natalie becomes angry and tells Darryl to stop making up stories.
Silvia, Emily’s mother posts a flyer on a tree, and Darryl tells him mom that’s Emily’s mom. Silvia then asks Darryl how he knows her, but Natalie becomes defensive and pulls Darryl away. Darryl looks back to a distraught Silvia not understanding why she is upset.
END FLASHBACK
EXT. PARK – DAY
Darryl reaches out to Tina to meet up with him. Tina joins him and the two talk about their college experience.
Darryl opens to her about his father’s death and rocky relationship with his mother. The two share an intimate kiss and Tina invites him back to her place.
INT. TINA’S APARTMENT- NIGHT
Darryl and Tina make love, it being Darryl’s first time. They talk after about how they will make the most out of college.
Tina expresses her disdain for certain sorority sisters and feels they hold her back. They both fall asleep in each other’s arms, a new feeling for Darryl.
BATHROOM- LATER
Darryl grabs his clothes and gets dressed in the bathroom. Darryl puts his pants on and slides his hand in his pocket. He removes the locket he found at Starkoaks, upon examining it he opens it and in shock. The pictures inside are Karen and Jeff.
The bathroom grows cold, and Karen appears behind him. She whispers in his ear, he’s the only one that can help her. Darryl is frozen with fear, Tina grabs his shoulder, and he snaps out of the trance. Darryl falls to the ground.
Tina gets him up and mentions how cold the bathroom is, she checks the window, it’s closed and locked. Darryl then asks for his pills in his bag. Tina questions and Darryl confides in her that he’s schizophrenic. Tina consoles him and the two head back into her bedroom.
After they exit the bathroom, the shower curtain moves.
EXT. DARRYL’S DORM- DAY
Darryl looks at the locket again, he grabs his pills and throws them away. The events the night before make a true believer out of him. He proceeds to call Ellen and wants to know more about the Vernon case. Ellen invites him to meet.
EXT. DARRYL’S DORM- LATER
Darryl exits and is met by Detective Garnett stops by to visit Darryl and ask him questions about the classroom incident. Darryl gives vague answers and Detective Garnett asks him to keep in contact if he hears of any information.
EXT. PARK- DAY
Ellen meets with Darryl; she informs him how she rarely comes out because of her traumatic past. Detective Garnett follows the two since he believes Darryl knows more than what he is saying.
Ellen informs Darryl that Karen was the daughter of the sheriff who caught Vernon and saved Ellen’s life. Darryl now makes it his personal mission to not only avenge his father but catch Karen’s killer as well.
-
<div>
TIM HAS COMPLETED ACT 2 DRAFT 1 – DAY 16
What I learned doing this assignment is that no matter how weak my filler scenes are, it’s good enough to get them down in crappy form for a first draft. I am so tempted to cycle back to every scene to make them better, but that is what always spoils my writing process. Onward.
I haven’t outlined all of these scenes using the Beginning-Middle-End strategy, but I’ll give that proper attention as I rewrite and fix these scenes.
</div>
INT. DOG POUND – NIGHT
After hours. It’s dark and quiet, but Duke is wide awake and getting angrier by the second.
Sunny still perched outside his window trying to console him.
She tells him not to give up on humans; he’ll certainly be adopted by a new family; and she’ll stay with him no matter what. But there’s no consoling him.
Duke just wants to get out. He wants nothing to do with humans.
They strike a deal: Sunny will help him escape if he promises to help her find her family. She needs protection.
Sunny bites and claws through the screen.
She hops inside and opens the latch to his cage.
They are careful not to make too much noise, but when Duke pushes the emergency door open, alarms and flashing lights go off and they run off into the woods.
Ext. WoODS – niGHT
Duke wants to hook up with the Bad Boys Crew as Sunny tries to dissuade him.
He says being good got him nothing, so he might as well be bad and have some fun.
Sunny says he’s not like the other bad dogs. Deep down, he’s good and will always be man’s best friend.
Anyway, he promised to help her find her family.
He responds that he didn’t say WHEN.
She’s disappointed, but needs his protection so she stays.
Suddenly, the bad dogs leap out to scare them and Sunny goes scrambling up a tree in terror.
Duke responds so bravely and ferociously that he scares Mort and Daz.
Rex likes the new Duke. He is one of them.
Ext. TOWN – DAY
Bob drives around town.
He stops every so often to put up “Lost Dog” posters on telephone poles.
After he leaves one location, squirrels take down one of the posters and run off with it.
EXT. tOWN – dAY – series of shots
The Bad Boys Crew causes trouble in town.
1. They knock over trash cans just for fun.
2. They chase cats and scare people walking on sidewalk.
3. They poop in front of “Please Pick Up Your Poop” signs.
4. They run through traffic and cause a fender bender.
Ext. Chinese restaurant – nIGHT
In the back alley, Sunny and Duke finish eating dinner.
DukE
That was great. Bob never did Chinese.
SunnY
You miss him, don’t you?
DUKE
I don’t miss anything and I don’t need anybody, especially him.
SUNNY
You can’t be bitter the rest of your life. You’re not like Rex and those other jerks.
DUKE
No, I’m even more bitterer. I’m the bitterest and I’m gonna rule the Crew one day.
Sunny pities him.
A CHINESE MAN in a chef uniform exits the back door with a bag of trash and walks to the dumpster, throws the bag in.
As he returns to the door, he sees Duke and Sunny.
Duke BELCHES.
CHINESE MAN
(smiles and nods)
Thank you.
He reaches in his pocket for some fortune cookies and throws them in their direction.
He re-enters the restaurant.
Sunny opens the wrapper, cracks the cookie, and reads the fortune.
SunnY
Love is an action, not a feeling.
(lets it soak in)
Deep. What does yours say?
Duke coughs up the plastic wrapper and spits it out.
Duke
(embarrassed)
Uh, I’ll let you know tomorrow.
MORE HAPPENS HERE – TO BE DETERMINED
ExT. tOWN – DAY
Karen and Madison walks down Main Street. It’s not busy but they smiles at the few SHOPPERS and DOG WALKERS they pass.
Without breaking her stride Karen nonchalantly pulls down one of Bob’s “Lost Dog” posters from a telephone pole and slam dunks it in a trash can.
They continues down the street,alternating turns at taking down posters as they come across them.
They laugh like it’s a game.
A WOMAN pushing a baby in a stroller turns the corner and see them taking down a poster.
Woman
Oh good. Your dog is safe?
Karen and Madison panic.
KarEN
Um, yes, he’s –
MadISON
He’s exactly where he belongs.
The woman gives a confused smile and strolls away.
Int. Amistad house – nIGHT
The Dog Catcher’s home. DON AMISTAD (40), stern but fair, and his wife BONNIE (37), have a serious talk in the kitchen.
Through the door opening to the living room, they see Emma spread out on the couch with headphones on and reading a book.
Bonnie amistad
She never leaves the house. She doesn’t want to see her friends.
Don amistad
She doesn’t cooperate with rehab.
Bonnie amistad
She won’t wear the prosthetic.
They glance at Emma again.
DON AMISTAD
We have to snap her out of this funk.
(epiphany)
A dog!
BONNIE AMISTAD
A service dog?
DON AMISTAD
No. Well, maybe. But just a dog to be hers. To feed, to walk, to play with, to be…girl’s best friend.
Emma catches them looking at her and frowns.
She adjusts her position to face the other way.
Ext. WoODS – NIGHT
Duke and Sunny return to the Crew’s home base.
Rex teases and scares Sunny because “that’s what real dogs do”.
Duke defends Sunny or it’s just an opportunity to challenge Rex as alpha dog.
The Crew teases Duke, accusing him of being a squirrel-lover and asking if Sunny is his squirrelfriend.
Duke has the will, but Rex has the street smarts and the backup muscle of Mort and Daz.
After a brief struggle, Duke submits again to Rex.
Angry and ashamed, he runs off into the dark, with Sunny following close behind.
EXT. wOODS – dAY
Duke and Sunny have another heart to heart talk about friendship, finding Sunny’s family, and choosing to be good.
Rex and the Crew show up and invite Duke back into the club. They say last night was all good fun and no hard feelings.
Duke reluctantly agrees, to Sunny’s disappointment.
ext. TOWN – DAY
The crew roams around town.
They eat breakfast from dumpsters.
Things seem to be fine and friendly.
Rex secretly tells Mort and Daz that they have to teach Duke a lesson.
They tell him to stay put as look out while they do some mischief.
He doesn’t realize they’re at the mayor’s house.
He can’t see what they’re up to. They poop on the front step of the mayor’s house and bark loudly.
They run away through the back yard, away from Duke.
Duke steps into view of the front door to see what’s going on.
The mayor barges out of the house and steps in the poop.
He slips and falls on it.
Duke instinctively runs to him to see if he’s okay.
The mayor grabs him by the collar and won’t let go.
Duke is caught. Again. And in big trouble. Again.
Int. DOG POUND – DAY
Duke is in the cage again, with Sunny perched outside on the window sill.
They discuss their options.
DUKE
Tonight, we bust me out of here like last time.
SunnY
(pushes on screen)
Will be even easier this time.
Duke laughs. Stupid humans.
SunnY
You’re not going back to them, are you?
DuKE
Who else do I have?
(off her reaction)
Oh yeah, I have you of course, but dogs are my people, well not people, but you know what I mean.
Sunny is still hurt.
SUNNY
Well, squirrels are my people…
(sternly)
If you want my help this time, you have to promise to help me find my family.
DUKE
Sure, sure, but first –
SUNNY
No! I’m first. Then you can do whatever you want. You won’t ever have to hear my annoying voice again.
Duke feels like a jerk. He nods.
SunnY (CONT’D)
Say it.
Duke
Ok, I promise.
The dog catcher stops by to see Duke.
Dog CATCHER
This is strike two, Duke. You’ve got one last chance to turn things around.
Duke casts him a mean look.
DOG CATCHER (CONT’D)
Strike three gets you a one way ticket to doggie heaven, or worse.
Sunny gasps but by the time Dog Catcher looks that way, she’s ducked out of view.
To distract him from staring too closely at the ripped screen, Duke barks fiercely at him.
DOG CATCHER
Tsk. That’s not the winning attitude.
The door at the end of the kennel swings open and Emma enters, on crutches, with Mrs. Dog Catcher.
Dogs in nearby cages respond with friendly barks.
Dog Catcher gives them a smile, but Emma is grumpy.
Emma
This is stupid. I don’t want a pet.
Mrs. Dog catcher
You say that, but once you have one, in no time at all you’ll be B-F-Fs.
(feeling cool)
You kids still say that?
EMMA
Not anymore. Once parents use an expression, it’s dead.
MRS. DOG CATCHER
Cool. I’m jiggy wit it.
EMMA
(eye roll)
Ugh, what century are you from?
MRS. DOG CATCHER
Ooo, maternal unit burnt to a crisp.
EMMA
Dad! Make mom stop!
DOG CATCHER
Sorry, uber-cool mom is unstoppable.
Duke watches with amusement, but with angry facade in tact.
Emma wants it to end, so she studies the dogs.
She strolls from cage to cage, met by a variety of cute, friendly faces and wagging tails.
DOG CATCHER
Whatever one you want, honey.
Mrs. Dog Catcher can’t help but comment on each dog.
Mrs. DOG CATCHER
This one is so cute.
(next cage)
Oh, isn’t this guy adorable?
(next cage)
This one has some Golden in him.
DOG CATCHER
These are all good choices.
Emma isn’t satisfied. Cutesy just isn’t her, not today.
Finally, she reaches Duke. He looks miserable, like her.
They scowl at each other.
Dog CATCHER
No, no, not this one.
EmmA
I kinda like him.
Duke and Dog Catcher are shocked.
DOG CATCHER
He’s bad news. His last owner said he was incorrigible and bad with kids!
EMMA
(wicked smile)
I’m bad with kids too.
Mrs. DOG CATCHER
He’s a drooler.
EMMA
So he already has something in common with dad.
Dog CATCHER
Hey, I’m not responsible for my actions once I fall asleep.
Emma’s parent exchange looks – what can we do?!
EMMA
He looks like he needs somebody but doesn’t want anybody.
Dog catCHER and mrs. Dog catcher
(relieved)
Exactly!
EMMA
I’ll take him.
Everyone is stunned, especially Duke and Sunny.
-
Rebecca Jordan has completed Act 2, Draft 1, Lesson 16
What I learned from doing this assignment is that I have taken on a beast of a story. It’s a very challenging reimagining, structurally. However, it’s funny how it feels like things are inherently landing in the right spot at the right time, in spite of moving back and forth in time. Fingers crossed. But plenty of time to go back later for edits. NO LOOKING BACK!! I’m trying to keep moving forward quickly.
INT. SMALL BARN – MORNING
Rachel, 50’s, on speaker phone waiting. Pacing. Lights a joint. Pours another cup of coffee.
OFFICER
Hi Rachel.
RACHEL
Hi.
OFFICER
So, we did send an officer over to the address you gave us. However, there was nobody there.
RACHEL
Oh.
OFFICER
The officer said he left a note for your Mom. So hopefully you’ll hear from her soon.
RACHEL
Oh. Okay. Great. Thank you so much.
OFFICER
No problem. Let us know if you need anything else. We’re here to help.
RACHEL
Thanks.
OFFICER
You’re very welcome. You have a nice day now. Okay?
RACHEL
You as well. Take care.
OFFICER
You too. Take care.
INT. SMALL BARN – DAY
Rachel, just out of the shower, dresses and packs up a bag and her guitar and her computer, etc.
EXT. SMALL BARN – CONTINUOUS
Loads up the truck and heads into the big barn.
EXT. PICK UP TRUCK – MOMENTS LATER
Rachel, in her truck, waves to the farm owners on her way out.
RACHEL
Hey, thanks so much for getting me covered. I owe ya.
They wave back. “No worries.” “Be safe.
RACHEL
I’ll keep ya posted.
INT. PICK UP TRUCK – EVENING
Rachel drives. Tired of her thoughts, turns on music loud. Sings.
INT. DAD’S HOUSE IN PR – DAY
1973. Dad, 30, talks to Mom on phone. Rachel, 9, plays with her step siblings. Within earshot.
With a thick Spanish accent..,
DAD
Listen Beth, You put Willy on the plane. I arranged the reservation. And once / I know he’s on the way /
Muffled yelling..,
MOM
That’s absurd. Just send her home.She needs to be ready to start school.
DAD
Once I know from my colleagues, that he’s coming, I can put Rachel on the plane to go home / it’s easy.
Rachel yells toward the phone.
RACHEL
Mom!! Please just let me come home. I’m homesick and I want to come home! Please.
DAD
You see. This is what we’re dealing with, Beth. You’re torturing your daughter. And Willy. He’s not yours. He belongs in Puerto Rico with / la Vieja.
BETH
No G. He belongs with his Mother. He belongs with me. He doesn’t have his / Dad.
DAD
You have the information. Get Willy to the airport, so you can get Rachel back to school with her friends on-time.
EXT. MOM’S HOUSE – NIGHT
Rachel, 50’s, pulls up in front of the house. Then pulls up a little further. Parks. She pull out a pint of Jack.
Looks toward the house. The lights are on. Puts the pint back without drinking.
Finally, Rachel gets out. skulks toward the front door, rings the bell.
GLEN, 60’s, answers the door.
RACHEL
I’m so sorry. Looks like you’re in the middle of dinner.
Turns to leave.
SHEILA
Who is it Glen?
SHEILA, 60’S, joins him.
GLEN
It’s okay. It’s way past our dinner hour. Can we help you?
RACHEL
Well, this is gonna sound strange, but I thought this was my Mom’s house.
The couple look a each other, perplexed.
GLEN
Hm.
RACHEL
I apologize. It’s later than I thought.
She turns to leave again.
SHEILA
Who’s your Mom? We’re renting / from a woman.
RACHEL
Her name is Beth. She goes by Beth.
GLEN
We’ve met her a couple of times. She still owns the house but moved…
RACHEL
Oh.
Tries again to leave.
SHEILA
You’re welcome to come inside. You look tired. You must’ve driven a long way.
Rachel already on her way to car..,
RACHEL
That’s okay. I need to get back home.
GLEN
Maybe we can help you find out where she is.
Rachel at her truck..,
RACHEL
Sorry to bother you.
SHEILA
Well good luck.
Already in. Drives away. The couple waves.
INT. PICK UP TRUCK – CONTINUOUS
RACHEL
Fuck! Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!!!
Rachel sees a gas station and pulls in. There is a pub next door.
RACHEL
What the fuck is this place? Really Mom? This was where you lived? You gotta be fucking kidding me. This piece of shit podunk nowhere nothing town. “Where everyone knows your name.” Everyone is so nice. Uck.
EXT. GAS PUMP – CONTINUOUS
Rachel finishes pumping gas. Sees the pub. Checks the time.
EXT. PUB – CONTINUOUS
Rachel pulls up and parks in front of the pub. Just a hand full of cars and trucks.
INT. PUB – LATER
Rachel, 50’s, drunk, parties with a GUY, 50’s, at the bar. He gives her a couple of bumps of coke from a key. After throwing back a couple beers and shots, she waves off the man’s advances. Puts her jacket on. He’s belligerent. She flips him off.
RACHEL
Fuck you, asshole!
GUY
Fuck you, you uppity bitch!
She smiles back. Exits.
INT. PICK UP TRUCK – CONTINUOUS
Rachel sits in car. smokes a joint. Then drives off.
INT. PICK UP TRUCK – CONTINUOUS
Rachel’s phone rings. She’s sees it’s her band mate, Paul.
RACHEL
Shit!
Answers. Puts on speaker..,
RACHEL
Hi. I’m so sorry. Fuck. I completely–
PAUL
Missed rehearsal, love. We’re all here waiting.
RACHEL
I had–
PAUL
Well, not anymore. We’re just hanging. And you promised me a dinner date. Remember?
RACHEL
I know. Things are messed up right now.
PAUL
Everthing okay?
RACHEL
Yea. No. Well…
PAUL
It’s alright. We can reschedule. We have gigs coming up.
RACHEL
I know. I’m heading back now. I’ll call you tomorrow.
PAUL
Okay, beautiful…
Rachel uncomfortable..,
PAUL
You sound a little fucked up. Maybe shouldn’t be driving. Need a ride?
RACHEL
No. I’m okay. I’ll pull over for a bit. I’m a good three hours out.
PAUL
Ouch! Well get some shut eye. We’ll talk tomorrow.
RACHEL
Yea. Bye.
PAUL
Later.
INT. PICK UP TRUCK – NIGHT
Rachel 50’s, distracted, looks for lighter, crashes the car into a light post.
EXT. ROADSIDE – NIGHT
Rachel has pulled off to side of the road. TOW GUY, 40’s, hooks her truck up to his rig..,
TOW GUY
You’ve obviously been doing some partying.
Under her breath..,
RACHEL
Like that’s any of your business.
TOW GUY
Excuse me? I should report you to the cops. Leave you here and let them pick you up.
RACHEL
Really? Come on. Jesus.
TOW GUY
Sleep it off at the station.
INT. TOW TRUCK – NIGHT
Tow Guy drives with Rachel in the passenger seat. Silence.
He pulls up to the nice couple’s/Mom’s house. Waits for her to get out.
RACHEL
Thanks.
He ignores her.
Exits truck. Slams door.
EXT. FRONT DOOR – NIGHT
Apprehensive, Rachel walks toward the house. Stops. Looks back and flips Tow Guy the bird.
Tow Guy, same to you, and drives off.
Rachel rings the bell.
TURNING POINT 2: MIDPOINT
INT. GUEST ROOM – MOMENTS LATER
Glen and Sheila, in their pajamas and robes, set Rachel up in guest room. Sheila brings towels, etc.
SHEILA
Here ya go. Make yourself at home.
RACHEL
This is so embarrassing.
SHEILA
Don’t worry honey. Get some rest.
Glen and Sheila are perplexed. They avoid asking questions.
GLEN
Help yourself to the kitchen. If you need something to drink or if you’re hungry. Lots of left overs in the fridge.
RACHEL
You’re both so nice.
SHEILA
Bathrooms right down the hall. Help yourself to a shower.
RACHEL
You don’t even know me.
SHEILA
We’ll have a nice breakfast waiting for you when you wake up. Just come on down whenever you’re ready.
GLEN
You won’t be able to resist. Sheila here is a great cook. Just follow your nose.
Sheila waves him off with modesty.
SHEILA
Alright, honey. Sleep well. Let us know if you need anything. We’re right down the hall there.
RACHEL
I don’t know what to say.
GLEN
That’s alright. We can talk tomorrow.
RACHEL
Thank you so much.
They leave her.
RACHEL
Good night.
SHEILA AND GLEN
Nighty-night.
Rachel watches them go. Closes the door.
INT. GUEST ROOM – CONTINUOUS
Rachel gets into sweats and t-shirt.
She sits on the bed. Opens her computer.
She gets back up. Finds the weed in her bag. On second thought, wraps it up in a sock and buries it deep into her duffle bag.
Back on the bed. She types.
EXT. STREET — EVENING
1977. Rachel, 13 yrs. old, average looking, brown hair with brown eyes, briskly crosses the street.
Heads toward a row of brown stone apartment buildings, Rachel stops in front of a doorway.
She spits into the tissue she’s just pulled from her purse, quickly rubs the makeup from her face with it, then pops a piece of gum in her mouth.
INT. BROWN STONE – HALLWAY — CONTINUOUS
Rachel skulks down the dark hallway toward her bedroom door.
Voices come from the dimly lit dining room at the end of the hall.
Just as Rachel ducks into her room.., Beth, 31, enters from the dining room. She wears a kimono.
BETH
You’re late for dinner. I told you to be home before dark. RACHEL Ppphhh! Sorry.
Rachel avoids looking at her Mom.
From the doorway..,
BETH
What do I have to do to get you to obey my rules.
RACHEL
Since when?
BETH
He does not understand this kind of behavior. Children in Japan do not stay out all night. It’s unheard of..,
RACHEL
Well, we’re not in Japan. Are we?
BETH
Hurry up and wash your face and come to dinner. You stink like smoke. It’s disgusting.
INT. BROWN STONE, DINING ROOM — MOMENTS LATER
At the dinner table. Silence. Beth and MASA, 28, Rachel’s Japanese stepfather, athletic build, watch disapprovingly as Rachel moves the food around on her plate.
BETH
Nani? Rice u wa deska, kurasai?
MASA
Hai.
BETH
Hai, hai. Dozo.
Rachel’s leg shakes under the table causing the table to rattle. She dumps soy sauce over her rice. She has separated all of the water chestnuts from the rest of her meal.
Masa pounds on the table.
MASA
Nan deo!
RACHEL
What?! I don’t like water chestnuts.
MASA
You eat ya food da way ya mada make it. Don’t insult ha.
BETH
It’s an insult to dirty your rice.
RACHEL
I don’t like it plain. It tastes like paper.
BETH
I don’t care Rachel.
RACHEL
At least i didn’t put ketchup on it.
BETH
You don’t dirty the rice. It’s disrespectful.
RACHEL
Says who?
BETH
In Japan, it’s / disrespectful.
RACHEL
This isn’t Japan. Is it?
MASA
Hontoni Wwwa!!!
Beth gives Masa the go ahead.
BETH
I give up.
Suddenly, Masa’s arm swings across the table back hands Rachel across the face.
She flies from her chair and lands on the floor.
Screaming..,
RACHEL
Fuck you! You mother fucker! You have no right! You’re not my Dad. And I can get you in so much trouble for that.
BETH
Oh stop it. Go to your room.
Rachel runs to her room still screaming..,
RACHEL
I fucking hate your guts. You’re fucking phony. Trying to make him think you’re some kind of goody two shoes. Wearing that stupid outfit.
BETH
I mean it Rachel. Don’t humiliate me.
RACHEL
Since when do you care where I am or what I’m doing? You were never even home before. I hate you! You make me sick.
Silence. Then..,
RACHEL
You’re so fucking phony! “Hai hai. Ano ne. So deskua”.
Rachel slams her bedroom door.
Beth finds an extension cord. Turns it into a whip. Heads toward Rachel’s bedroom. Pushes her way into the room.
RACHEL
Get out of here. I hate you.
Blood curdling screams.
RACHEL
Stop. Stop. Leave me alone.
More screams, crying. Cracking of the whip in sink with..,
BETH
You. Have to. Obey my. Orders!
RACHEL
Stop. Please leave me alone.
Masa gets up from table.
MASA
Beth! Come on!
Walks down the all.
INT. HOME – BEDROOM — LATER
Rachel, fully dressed, shoves clothes into a bag.
INT. HOME – HALLWAY — CONTINUOUS
The bedroom door opens and Rachel’s head peaks out. She looks toward both ends of the house.
The lights are dim. It’s quiet.
She slips into the hallway, pulls the door shut, and tip toes toward the kitchen. Then quietly slips out the back door.
INT. GUEST ROOM – NIGHT
Rachel, 50’s, wakes up with open computer lying next to her. She digs in her duffel bag for her weed but again resists the urge.
She sits on the bed and reads what she’s written.
Gets under the covers. Closes her computer.
INT. STEW’S APT – HALLWAY – NIGHT
CARLEE, 40, eccentric, Stew’s mom, in her bedroom at the end of the hall. She wears a long silk robe over a black negligee. smoking a joint. She sashays about the room, looking at herself in the mirror. Hums along to MUSIC.
Carlee stubs out the joint. She is agitated.
CARLEE
Stew?
She saunters down the hall, stops in front of Stew’s bedroom door. She listens for a moment.
Knocks.
CARLEE
Stew?! Tell Rachel to go home now.., I want her to go home.
INT. STEW’S BEDROOM — CONTINUOUS
Stew’s room is the party pad with a couch and coffee table in the center of the room. Killer stereo.
Stew, 15, and Rachel,13 sleep entwined on the twin mattress on the floor.
More knocking startles them both from sleep.
CARLEE
Stew! Come on. I know you can hear me. I can hear your music in there. Tell Rachel she has to go home now.
STEW
Now?! It’s.., What time is it?
CARLEE
Just Tell Her To Go Home.
Now Stew! Come On!!
STEW
It’s 2:30 in the morning Mother.
CARLEE
I don’t care. Come on you guys.
STEW
Where is she supposed to go? And how is she supposed to —
INT. HALLWAY — CONTINUOUS
CARLEE I DON’T CARE STEW. HOME. SHE’S GONNA EVENTUALLY ANYWAY.
TELL HER TO GO HAVE TO GO HOME
(MORE)
CARLEE
Rachel honey, come on, go home now.
Just do it. Please.
STEW
It’s the middle of the night, Mother.
Are you insane? You said she could stay here for a while.
CARLEE
I don’t care Stew. I changed mind. Okay? Come On tell her to go home.
INT. STEW’S BDRM – CONTINUOUS
RACHEL
Just Fuck it man. I’m going Carlee. Relax.
CARLEE
Oh don’t tell me to relax you little bitch. Go home now. Come On.
RACHEL
What the fuck is her problem?
STEW
(whispering)
I take it flavor of the week booked on her.
RACHEL
He never even showed up. That’s why she’s pissed.
Rachel, is up. Dressing and shoving her stuff into a bag.
RACHEL
If she’s miserable, everyone else has to be miserable. Grow up bitch.
Carlee back at the door.
CARLEE
Oh yes, and why don’t you grow up?
RACHEL (sotto.)
Maybe because I’m thirteen.
CARLEE
Please. Go home now. It’s about time. Just talk to your mother and figure it out. You can’t stay here forever.
RACHEL
So I get to suffer cause she didn’t get laid?
CARLEE
I can hear you little brats. Come On Rachel. Just go. Now Stew. Please. Tell her to leave. She’s gonna have to go home.
STEW
Relax Mother. Please. She’s getting her things together.
CARLEE
Fine. Just hurry up.
RACHEL
This is bullshit.
STEW
Sorry babe.
RACHEL
She’s like Dr. Jeckyl and Mr. Hyde.
Stew wraps his arms around Rachel, but she pulls away.
She sits on the couch, lights a cigarette and puts her shoes on. Gathers her things. Then hits the bong.
Rachel sits. When she is finished, she stubs out her smoke. Stew hands her a flannel button down jacket.
RACHEL
Thanks.
CARLEE
Come on you guys.
RACHEL (sotto.)
God!!!
STEW (whispering)
Do you wanna sleep down stairs. In the locker?
Rachel glares at Stew.
STEW
Forget it. Come here.
Stew pulls Rachel toward him and holds her in his arms.
STEW
What do you want to do?
Rachel shrugs.
STEW
Do you want to go home?
She pulls away.
Stew pulls her back in.
STEW
Okay. I’m sorry. What then? Hmm?
RACHEL (defensively.)
I don’t know.
Rachel sits. takes another bong. She picks up the classified adds and shoves them in her bag. Then gathers the rest of her stuff.
INT. HALLWAY – CONTINUOUS
Rachel walks down the hallway and turns into the kitchen. Stew follows her.
Carlee is in her room at the other end of the hall smoking a joint and singing to herself while doing a silly dance with big sashay moves.
INT. KITCHEN — CONTINUOUS
Rachel and Stew exit out the backdoor.
INT. STAIRWAY — CONTINUOUS
Rachel heads down the stairs. stops and looks up at Stew.
STEW
Where ya gonna go?
She shrugs and takes off quickly down the stairs.
EXT. STEW’S APT BUILDING – MOMENTS LATER
Rachel looks up at Stew who sits in the window watching her. He waves.
She turns and slowly walks away carrying her bags over her shoulder.
EXT. NEIGHBORHOOD STREET – CONTINUOUS
Rachel walks down a street. Peers into doorways of apartment buildings.
She walks up to a door and turns the handle. It’s locked.
She tries a couple more until finally, one opens. She slips inside.
INT. FOYER OF APARTMENT BLDG – CONTINUOUS
Rachel piles up her bags in the corner under the stairwell to make a pillow. She curls up. tries to get comfortable and as concealed as possible. Her eyes are bloodshot, pupils dilated.
INT. FOYER OF APARTMENT BLDG. – DAWN
Rachel sleeps, still curled up in the same position.
The SOUND of a door being closed and locked just a couple of flights above her.
Rachel jolts awake.
The SOUND of footsteps descend the stairs.
Rachel jumps up, quickly gathers her things and quietly slips out the door.
EXT. OUTSIDE APARTMENT BUILDING – CONTINUOUS
Rachel walks quickly to the sidewalk.
A BUSINESS MAN, 30’s, emerges from the building. Walks briskly as he buttons up his jacket. He is startled when he looks up to see Rachel standing in his path, but immediately dismisses her and continues down the street.
Rachel walks, uncertain of where to go.
EXT. BEACH – CONTINUOUS
The sun rises over the lake.
Rachel crosses the street toward the beach. She stops in the sand and looks out at the lake.
Then, Rachel turns back. Sizes up the house on the corner. Walks toward the house. Crosses the street and disappears into the hedges that line the lawn.
EXT. IN THE HEDGES – CONTINUOUS
Rachel finds a small concealed clearing on the grass between some hedges. stops. Piles up her things to make a pillow. And curls up in a tight ball to get warm.
Rachel digs into the side pocket of a bag and pulls out a little pipe and some matches. She pulls off the piece of cardboard covering the bowl, takes a big hit of pot, puts it away, then curls back up.
she exhales the smoke. Dew drops glisten on blades of grass. Her eyes are sad vacant.
INT. GUEST ROOM – MORNING
Rachel, 50’s, wakes up. Shuns from the bright like. She’s hungover. Takes a drink of water from the bottle in her bag.
Looks in the mirror at the bags under her eyes. Finds the rolled up sock. Takes a little bump from last nights packet.
Grabs the towel and her toiletries.
INT. SHOWER – CONTINUOUS
Rachel showers.
INT. STEW’S KITCHEN – MORNING
1977. Rachel peeks her head in. listens for a moment, then tip toes through the kitchen and stops at the threshold. peers down the long hallway.
Once certain that nobody’s home, Rachel quickly moves down the hall and disappears into the bathroom.
The SOUND of the shower being turned on.
INT. DINER – MORNING
Rachel sits at a table near the window. She is dressed nice. Wears make-up.
Rachel studies the want ads. Several ads have been circled, but one in particular is heavily circled with notes written on it. She circles a couple more then stubs out her cigarette in the already full ashtray.
A WAITRESS, 50’s and surly, approaches the table carrying a coffee pot.
WAITRESS
More coffee?
RACHEL Sure. Thanks.
WAITRESS
Honey, sorry, but are you gonna be eating?
Rachel looks up from the paper..,
RACHEL
What.., Oh, sorry. What?
WAITRESS
Will you be ordering food?
RACHEL
No. But I’ll be gone in a few minutes. I’m just waiting for a ride.
WAITRESS
Uh-huh.
RACHEL
Seriously. I’ll leave you a good tip. I promise. Waitress turns to leave.
RACHEL
Wait. Can I please just have a little more coffee?
Waitress comes back and begrudgingly pours some more coffee into Rachel’s cup.
INT. KITCHEN – MOMENTS LATER
Rachel, cleaned up, hair wet, at the table with Glen and Sheila eating breakfast. Glen takes a piece of paper out of his pocket.
GLEN
Hey Rachel. So I wrote down the Post Office Box address where I send our rent checks.
Hands it to her.
RACHEL
Oh my God. That’s awesome. Thank you.
GLEN
I don’t know if it’ll help. But you can start / there.
RACHEL
No. This is great.
Looks at the paper.
RACHEL
Oh my. That’s quite a ways away.
GLEN
Indeed.
Sardonic. Hesitant. Put out. Rachel tries..,
RACHEL
Road trip!
GLEN
Well it’ll be an adventure, if nothing else.
RACHEL
I’ll say. I’ll have to figure out my schedule…
SHEILA
You’re mother. I remember that she was nice. And very handy. Right honey.
GLEN
Yes she was. More so than I could ever be.
Sheila points out ornate wood work and kitchen cabinets.
SHEILA
Apparently, she did all of this herself.
RACHEL
Doesn’t surprise me.
SHEILA
I remember when we came to look at the house the first time. She had all the big tools out. Saws and drills.
GLEN
Pretty impressive.
Rachel smiles knowingly to herself. Gets up.
RACHEL
Well, I better get my stuff together. Are you sure you don’t mind giving me a ride.
GLEN
Sure no problem.
SHEILA
We need to go into town anyway.
RACHEL
Okay. I really appreciate it. I’ll be right down.
SHEILA
Take your time, honey. Oh, and we have a little care package her for you to take.
RACHEL
Oh my goodness. You’re both so kind. Too kind.
SHEILA
It’s no big deal. Just some snacks and drinks for the ride.
RACHEL
I don’t know what to say.
SHEILA
You don’t have to say anything.
GLEN
Really. It’s our pleasure.
RACHEL
Well. I don’t know how to thank you.
EXT. TOW TRUCK LOT – CONTINUOUS
Rachel 50’s, exits the Tow truck office, carrying her duffel and the care package. She waves graciously at the nice couple. They drive off. She finds her truck and loads up.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 4 months ago by Rebecca Jordan.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 4 months ago by
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Andrea Cabañas has completed ACT 2 Draft 1.
What I learned from this (one more time!) is that every time I saw myself stuck, I did my best not to overthink much about the scene/dialogue and kept writing.
EXT. STREETS – DAY
Zoe walks on the street proud of the meeting she had with Juan. She speaks over the phone with Georgia.
ZOE
… Yeah, that’s what I thought, right? He didn’t even try to put the price down. I told him and he just said yep, let’s do it. Yes!
She laughs while hearing. Then she stops.
ZOE
… Can you believe I’ll have a deposit to buy the studio next to yours? Let’s celebrate!
(pause)
Okay, but I just can’t on Friday, I’m going to check his house, he also wants me to do some landscape.
What? What did you say?
She laughs.
ZOE
Yep. He is hot, girl! You should– Oh okay then, talk to you soon. I’m going to mom’s to pick up more clothes so I’ll be there later on. Cheers, buy.
Zoe turns off her mobile and sees Paula leaning over her car at the other side of the road. Their eyes met, she hesitates but keeps walking.
Paula approaches, she’s elegantly dressed in white pants.
PAULA
Hi.
ZOE
Hi.
PAULA
Are you okay?
ZOE
Yes. You?
Paula looks sideways and places her hands in her pockets.
PAULA
We must talk.
ZOE
What’s going on?
Paula doesn’t say much, she opens the car door and motions Zoe to get in.
Zoe stares at her for a second, takes a deep sigh and enters.
INT. CAR – DAY – CONTINUOUS
Zoe and Paula are seated behind the car. DIEGO (50), with dark hair and a big scar on his chin, drives the car. The inside window between the driver and passengers is closed.
ZOE
What’s happening?
PAULA
Where were you?
Zoe frowns.
ZOE
Eerrr… Working?
PAULA
Working?
ZOE
Yeah, I had a meeting with a client, what is it? Do I need to give you details about everything I do during the day now?
Paula sighs.
PAULA
I just need to know who’s your client, that’s all.
Zoe scoffs.
ZOE
Got it. You lent me money to open my business and now you want to control my clients.
PAULA
There’s nothing to do with it. Just answer me, who was the client?
Zoe looks away reluctant, places her hand in her mouth and nip bites her thumb before talking.
PAULA
Please.
ZOE
His name is Matias, Matias Gon… Forgot his surname. He’s from Colombia, lives here for–
Paula scoffs nervously and mutters.
PAULA
(in Spanish)
Hijo de puta.
ZOE
What did you say?
Paula reaches for her mobile phone, opens some pictures and hands them to Zoe. Pictures of Juan.
ZOE
What is this?
PAULA
Keep scrolling till the last pictures.
Zoe scrolls it and sees her picture of having lunch with him. She stares at Paula with wide eyes.
ZOE
What… Are you following me? This is ridiculous.
She hits the glass window.
ZOE
Stop the car! Stop this fucking car!
Diego looks over his shoulder but doesn’t pay much attention to her.
Paula speaks with a lower voice tone but is authoritative.
PAULA
This man is Juan Estigarribia, the one the police detectives are looking for.
Zoe stops but doesn’t face Paula.
PAULA
We worked together a long time ago. They set me in a trap and he went to jail…
She stares at the window outside. Zoe leans back to her sit, staring at the other side nibbling her thumb again.
PAULA
… And I was blamed for it. Now I understand why he’s here in Sydney. You must stop seeing him.
A moment of silence.
ZOE
And why should I believe in you?
PAULA
Because it’s the truth.
ZOE
The truth? Really? So please tell me, who are you!
Paula smiles and answers calmly.
PAULA
Paula Ortega.
ZOE
Where are you from?
PAULA
I was born in Tijuana, Mexico, had some business with the narco–
ZOE
(scoffs)
Fuck.
PAULA
… But gave up this life years ago. Moved to Barcelona, where I lived for almost eight years and now I’m here, with you.
Zoe faces Paula.
ZOE
I can’t do this.
Paula places her hand onto Zoe’s hand and squeezes it.
PAULA
You need to stay away from him. For sure he’s up to something.
ZOE
(to herself)
This project is my freedom. I’ll buy my own place and–
PAULA
Is it the money that you need? I’ll give you money but stay away from him!
ZOE
I don’t want your bloody money! Thank you for everything you gave to me and I’m glad I paid you back but now it’s my time to do my things!
PAULA
Hey, listen to me.
They stare at each other.
PAULA
This man is dangerous. Don’t get involved with him.
ZOE
I’m already involved since the first time I met you, Paula.
INT. KATRINA’S HOUSE – ZOE’S BEDROOM – DAY
Zoe’s wardrobe is open, she puts some clothes in a backpack placed on her bed. She picks up a few shows and a perfume.
Katrina appears at the door. Hesitates but comes in. She leans against the wall. Her voice tone is soft.
KATRINA
I didn’t hear you coming.
Zoe doesn’t make eye contact with Katrina. She’s focused on her stuff.
ZOE
I didn’t want to bother you.
Katrina glances at Zoe’s belongings and sees a PORTRAIT with Zoe and her brother Cris together. They were around ten years old. Katrina grabs it with fond and smiles.
KATRINA
I love this photo. I remember it was so difficult to make him take a picture, remember? He never liked being in pictures, don’t know why.
Zoe glances Katrina over her shoulder.
ZOE
He was ashamed of what happened to him.
Katrina reacts, her semblance changes. She goes to the window and stares outside.
KATRINA
I tried to help him. Oh lord, how I tried.
ZOE
You didn’t do anything. You just pretended nothing had happened. You and Frank.
KATRINA
He’s your father.
ZOE
And he didn’t do anything to defend his own son!
Katrina cringes, a tear drops from her eye. She dries it with the back of her hand, clears her throat and faces Zoe.
KATRINA
You don’t need to do this.
ZOE
I’m just doing what you told me to.
Katrina moves closer, tries to make Zoe stop.
KATRINA
Let’s put this behind us. I… I was angry, I wasn’t thinking clearly when I said that. Please…
She holds Zoe’s hands.
KATRINA
Stay. This is your home. You don’t need to go anywhere.
Zoe stares at her mother.
ZOE
I already made my mind.
Zoe lets go of her mother and continue packing. Katrina comes closer again, but Zoe ignores her.
KATRINA
Look, I promise I’ll change. You can date whoever you want. I… I won’t interfere in your relationships anymore. If you like this woman… it’s your choice, what can I do… huh?
She forces a smile. Zoe glances at her, rolls her eyes and scoffs.
ZOE
You’re funny, Katrina Muller.
Katrina follows Zoe.
KATRINA
It’s true. Look, I really don’t care, okay, you can do whatever you want with your life. You’re a grown woman and–
ZOE
That’s why I’m doing what I’m doing. I can’t be living with you for the rest of my life. It’s time to let it go, isn’t it? Both of us.
KATRINA
But what about work? Where are you staying?
ZOE
I’m staying at Georgia’s, she’s is helping me–
KATRINA
Georgia? But he–
Zoe puts her hand up.
ZOE
Mom, stop! She is my friend, okay, and she is helping me a lot.
Katrina plops down on Zoe’s bed with shoulders down, head down. She murmurs.
KATRINA
Please, don’t do this.
She starts to cry. Zoe hesitates for a moment but keeps going, although in a slow rhythm.
ZOE
Don’t do this, Mom.
As Katrina speaks, her anxiety increases, her voice tone becomes almost desperate.
KATRINA
What have I done to deserve this? I always did my best to help you, to protect you, you and your brother. When Chris died, part of me also died. Don’t let my other part die too, Zoe.
Zoe sighs deeply; she hates seeing her mother cry.
ZOE
Mom, I’m not leaving you forever. Think it’s like I’m getting married but instead of getting married, I’m going to live with a friend, save money and buy my own house.
KATRINA
You can’t do this to me!
Katrina storms out of the room. Zoe hears when Katrina starts throwing things on the floor, glasses breaking, portraits breaking.
Zoe rushes.
INT. KATRINA’S HOUSE – LOUNGE – DAY – CONTINUOUS
Zoe halts seeing some furniture overturned on the floor, a broken vase, shattered wall paintings on the floor. Katrina’s defeated, seated on a couch, shaking with sobs.
Zoe takes a deep breath, approaches and sits. Katrina curls up in her daughter’s arms, who rocks as if she was a baby.
INT. GEORGIA’S STUDIO – DAY
Georgia is working on a clay sculpture in the middle of the lounge; she is covered in mud, happy with the results of her art. The furniture is dragged to make space.
Seated comfortable with her knees bent over the chair, Zoe watches Georgia working. Zoe has elbows resting on her knees with clasped hands.
ZOE
You’re not going to say anything.
GEORGIA
(scoffs)
I knew she would do something like that.
She glances at Zoe.
GEORGIA
As she always does, hey.
Zoe sighs heavily, drops her head backwards.
ZOE
Ahhhh, I hate when this happens.
GEORGIA
She plays with you.
Zoe shakes her head.
ZOE
I hate when she does that. It’s just–it breaks my heart seeing her like that. I feel sorry for her.
GEORGIA
And what about you? What about your independence, the idea of having your own space, having your own life?
ZOE
I’m not giving up this, I’m just–staying a bit longer with her, that’s all.
GEORGIA
I wonder about the day you’ll get married. She’s going to kill herself.
Zoe scoffs.
ZOE
You know I won’t get married.
GEORGIA
You already told James you love him.
Both laugh. Georgia has a good glance at her art and cleans her hands. She turns to Zoe.
GEORGIA
Fancy a wine?
ZOE
Sure.
Georgia walks to the small wine fridge, takes a bottle of red and reaches for wine glasses. She pours the wine, hands one glass to Zoe and seats on the floor, facing Zoe.
They toast.
ZOE
To your surgery.
GEORGIA
To our happiness.
They smile and sip their wines. Zoe appreciates it with eyes closed. Georgia looks at Zoe and squints.
ZOE
What?
GEORGIA
Do you still have this crazy idea of taking the job with the drug dealer?
ZOE
Girl, this is the beginning of my freedom.
GEORGIA
He’s a drug dealer, woman!
ZOE
This is what Paula said.
GEORGIA
Paula and the investigators who went to your place.
Georgia comes closer, still seated on the ground.
GEORGIA
Have you never watched Narcos? They are dangerous people.
Zoe rolls her eyes.
ZOE
You’re watching too much Netflix, hun. Look, I know what I’m doing. I’m doing what I love, it’s a big project, and I’ll be able to buy my own place. We’ll be neighbours!
Zoe toasts, Georgia smiles and also toasts.
GEORGIA
I don’t know. Paula seems really worried. And oh my god!
ZOE
What?
GEORGIA
I always admired Paula, you know, she’s chic, has a style. And who’ll believe that she’s also a narco!
Georgia opens and covers her mouth with her hands, a smile with wide eyes.
GEORGIA
You can be the new Queen of the South!
Zoe puts her hands up in the air.
ZOE
Oh my goodness! Stop, woman! You’re crazy.
Zoe taps Georgia’s shoulder and they laugh again. Then, Georgia changes her mood to be more serious.
GEORGIA
I need to tell you something.
ZOE
Uh oh…
GEORGIA
I’m seeing someone.
Zoe opens her mouth in awe.
ZOE
No way! Who’s he? Do I know him?
GEORGIA
(smiles)
He’s the father of one of my students. His wife died a few years ago.
ZOE
Since when?
GEORGIA
It’s been a couple of months.
ZOE
And why didn’t tell me anything?
Georgia’s sarcastic.
GEORGIA
I thought he was just another one, you know. Those guys who are just curious, want to have a different experience and when they have what they want, that’s it, finished it.
ZOE
But not him.
Georgia sighs with her head up, looking at the ceiling.
GEORGIA
Nope.
Zoe smiles.
ZOE
I can see the glitter in your eyes.
GEORGIA
I know. It’s been a long time since your uncle died.
Zoe looks away and sighs. Back to Georgia, she stares at her friend, places her loose fringe behind her ear.
ZOE
I knew you would find someone as special as him.
GEORGIA
Thank you.
Zoe frowns.
ZOE
Thank you?
GEORGIA
You know how hard this world is with someone like me. Your uncle was the most adorable man, he helped me so much going through all stages of my–
(she blows out)
To find my new me.
ZOE
He loved you a lot.
GEORGIA
And oddly enough he didn’t know how to deal with what he really was.
A tear drops from her eyes and Zoe’s.
ZOE
I’m sure he’s happy for you, wherever he is now.
GEORGIA
Yep. So, let’s make a toast for the most loving man in the world, who introduced us and blessed our lives with this strong friendship the way it was supposed to be.
ZOE
Cheers, my friend.
They drink and embrace each other. Georgia teases Zoe.
GEORGIA
Mmmm, don’t hug me too tight otherwise I get horny.
ZOE
Come on, I know you’re not a lesbian.
They laugh.
GEORGIA
And talking about lesbos…
(clicks her tongue)
How’s our queen Paula? Does she know you’ll keep working to the narco guy?
ZOE
No, she can’t even dream about it. I don’t know how I’m gonna do it but I’ll think about it later.
She takes a sip of her wine with a worried glare, narrowed eyes.
INT. KATRINA’S HOUSE – ZOE’S BEDROOM – NIGHT
Zoe works on her computer listening to some funky, groovy music. There is some paper scattered on the table, the TV is on but on mute. She finishes something and happy with the results, makes a little dance still seated. She has a sip of her water.
Her phone rings, it’s Paula.
ZOE
Hey.
PAULA
How are you?
ZOE
Busy, but okay. And you?
PAULA
You’re not taking my calls.
ZOE
I told you, I’m a bit busy at the moment. I got another project and it’s a bit challenging.
PAULA
Really. What about?
ZOE
Err… A couple of friends from Georgia are opening a new business and want to renovate the old space. It’s a dental practice, it seems interesting.
PAULA
Congratulations.
ZOE
Thank you.
Paula’s voice is soft, sexy.
PAULA
I made a vegetarian paella, the one you like. And I think I cooked too much just for myself so I wondered if you’d like to come over.
ZOE
Oh… I can’t go now.
PAULA
Why not? Because of your mom?
Zoe scoffs.
PAULA
Sorry. I didn’t want to be rude.
ZOE
It’s okay.
PAULA
I also bought some wine from New Zealand. You told me once that they have the best white wines in the world.
ZOE
Paula look, I–
PAULA
I’m wearing soft, new lingerie that I bought from Gucci… It’s so soft that I feel naked.
Zoe licks her lips, closes her eyes.
PAULA
I miss you…
(she moans softly)
I think we should talk about… you know… Extraño tus labios… Tu boca en mi boca…
Zoe bites her lips, rolls her eyes, takes a deep breath.
ZOE
Give me a few minutes.
Zoe hangs up.
INT. KATRINA’S HOUSE – LOUNGE – NIGHT
Katrina watches TV laid on the sofa, a glass of wine at her side. She sees Zoe passing by, glances at her watch.
KATRINA
Going where at this time?
ZOE
Georgia called. She needs help with something.
KATRINA
Can’t she wait until tomorrow? It’s nine pm!
ZOE
Nope. And don’t wait for me. I may stay with her overnight. Bye.
Katrina squints. She gets up, takes her phone and grabs in a drawer the police detective business card.
She goes to the window and stares at Zoe getting in the car, driving away. She calls them.
KATRINA
Can I speak with Mrs Trout, please? It’s Katrina Muller.
(pause)
Hello? Hi, Mrs Trout, sorry to call you this late at night. Err… I think my daughter is still seeing that woman… Paula.
INT. PAULA’S HOUSE – ENTERTAINMENT ROOM – NIGHT
Clothes are scattered on the ground, the TV is on and plays flamenco music with a dancer (bailaora) performing.
Zoe and Paula make love, Paula still wears the top of her fancy lingerie top.
Images of the dancer merge with the movements of Zoe and Paula making love.
INT. PAULA’S HOUSE – DINING ROOM – NIGHT
Paula and Zoe eat paella in a romantic atmosphere, with few lights on and candles scattered around the table.
They toast with a glass of white wine; they talk, they laugh. They have a good time.
INT. PAULA’S HOUSE – BEDROOM – NIGHT
Paula and Zoe make love again, and fall asleep holding each other.
INT. PAULA’S HOUSE – BEDROOM – DAY
Paula sleeps, her body turned to the glass window. Below the white silk sheet, a hand caresses her legs, going up gently from her foot to her thigh.
Paula smiles softly, enjoys the touch. She opens her eyes slowly and sees, through the reflection in the window, that it’s not Zoe who’s there.
At a slow pace, she moans, stretches, and reaches for her gun hidden under her bed. She points at the intruder’s head: it’s Juan.
PAULA
Where is she?
Juan keeps calm and charming. They speak in Spanish with subtitles.
JUAN
How rude. You never woke up this grumpy, my love.
PAULA
Where is she? What did you do to her?
Juan seats calmly, charming.
Don’t worry. Your girlfriend left early, the sun hadn’t risen yet.
Paula pulls the sheet to cover herself and gets up, gun still pointed at him.
He scoffs softly, eyes locked on her.
JUAN
You don’t need to cover yourself like this as if I never saw your body. Please… I came here in peace.
Paula stares at him and wears some clothes carefully. Juan watches with a half-smile on his face.
INT. PAULA’S HOUSE – KITCHEN – DAY
Juan is at the table having a coffee. Paula’s leaned at the kitchen bench, arms crossed.
He feels the coffee aroma and sips. They speak Spanish with subtitles.
JUAN
Ahh… You still make the best coffee in the world. Thanks.
Paula taps her feet on the ground.
PAULA
What are you doing here?
He finishes his coffee and leans back in the chair.
JUAN
I have a big shipment coming here and I need your help.
PAULA
You know I’ve been out of this game for a long time.
Juan scoffs, tilts his head and gets up. He walks towards her.
JUAN
I know. And in the meantime I spent my time counting the years while I was in jail.
He comes closer, faces her. They stare at each other, Paula doesn’t fear his presence at all.
JUAN
I believe this is the best time for you to pay back what you owe me for everything you did to me.
PAULA
I was on your side. The Rodriguez set you up, I had nothing to do with it.
He stares at her, scans her face, licks his lips and tilts his head. They speak in English now.
JUAN
Why am I still hard to believe you?
PAULA
I’m telling you the truth.
Juan talks in a defiant tone.
JUAN
I want my money back and you will help me with this shipment.
PAULA
I’m not in this business anymore.
JUAN
But you know people in Sydney airport. I meant, one person.
PAULA
I won’t talk to him.
Juan scoffs softly.
JUAN
It’s this or a million dollars in cash.
PAULA (in Spanish with subtitles)
You’re crazy? I don’t have this money.
He scans her kitchen and back to her. He also speaks Spanish.
JUAN
You have until the first of July to decide what to do. Talk to him or give me the money…
PAULA
Or what?
He whispers in her ear in Spanish.
JUAN
Your little sweetheart will pay with her life.
He steps back, takes her hand and places a soft kiss on it.
JUAN
I’ll see you soon, cariño.
He leaves.
PAULA
¡Coño!
MONTAGE
Zoe works day and night in her bedroom on Juan’s project.
She talks over the phone while scribbles over drawings scattered on the table.
She visits Juan’s office, talks to workers doing their jobs.
Katrina argues with Zoe back home while Zoe tries to concentrate on her work.
Zoe makes love with Paula.
Sleepy, Zoe works on her computer later at night.
Zoe shows Juan the project on her computer screen.
Paula’s security man watches them from a distance. Zoe notices.
The first payment comes into her account. She dances on her own celebrating.
INT./EXT. JUAN’S HOUSE – DAY
ADRIANO (’40), Juan’s security guard leads Zoe to a spacious room where a grand piano stands. There’s a nice view of Sydney’s Tamarama Beach.
Zoe walks through the beautiful, spacious lounge. There are paintings of Frida Kahlo and Andy Warhol on the walls. She stares at Frida Kahlo’s.
Juan arrives wearing bright linen trousers and a white T-shirt. He’s hot.
JUAN
Sorry to keep you waiting.
ZOE
That’s okay. It didn’t take too long.
He looks at the painting Zoe is looking at.
JUAN
Do you know her work?
ZOE
She’s one of my favourite artists.
JUAN
Really? I’ll take note of that. Fancy some wine?
ZOE
No, I’m okay, thanks. I’m driving.
JUAN
Any water or juice? Maria makes a delicious errr, how do you call sandia…?
Zoe squints, tighten her lips.
JUAN
A big fruit, green outside and red–
ZOE
Watermelon?
JUAN
That’s the one. Maria makes delicious watermelon juice. Do you want to try?
ZOE
Sure.
Juan motions to Adriano, who comes quickly to his command.
JUAN
Please, ask Maria to prepare her special jugo de sandia for my guest. We’ll be outside.
Adriano nods and disappears.
Juan motions Zoe to the garden.
JUAN
Shall we?
Juan leads Zoe outside.
EXT. GARDEN – DAY
Juan and Zoe seat at a table near the swimming pool under a big umbrella. The sun is shining and the ocean views is astonishing.
Zoe drinks her WATERMELON JUICE while Juan has a whiskey. She notices TWO MEN, both in their forties, dressed in black, each one carrying small devices similar to radio transmitters.
JUAN
Are you okay?
Zoe smiles nervously, dissimulates.
ZOE
Err.. Are you afraid of being assaulted or something?
Juan eyes his employees.
JUAN
I like the feeling of being protected. Don’t you?
ZOE
We’re in Australia, you don’t need to worry much about it.
JUAN
It takes only one tentative to make you feel uncomfortable even living in a safe country like this, cariño.
ZOE
What did you call me?
JUAN
Sorry, I didn’t mean to insult you. I said cariño. It’s hard to translate some words to English because they lose the real meaning. It’s something like saying my dear, or sweetie. But see? Calling you sweetie doesn’t have the same power as cariño.
ZOE
I heard someone saying that if you translate Gabriel Garcia Marques into English, the novel had two hundred pages less.
They laugh.
JUAN
Exactly.
Zoe takes a deep breath and picks up her computer. She opens it and starts making notes.
JUAN
You’re an amazing professional. You brought life to my office.
ZOE
I haven’t finished yet.
JUAN
My bad, sorry. Bad English. I meant you bring life.
ZOE
Thank you. And your English is great.
JUAN
I’m glad that I found you.
She smiles but doesn’t answer. She starts taping some notes nervously.
ZOE
Well, me too. I mean, I’m really glad to work for you on this project. It really means a lot to me.
JUAN
Good to know.
A moment of silence.
ZOE
I’m just writing down some notes we discussed if you don’t mind.
JUAN
No, of course.
He gives a sip on his drink, lays back and crosses his legs comfortably. He squints and locks his eyes on her.
JUAN
May I ask you something?
ZOE
Sure.
JUAN
Is there any mister Muller in your life?
Zoe blushes. It’s impossible not to resist his flirt but she keeps taking notes.
ZOE
Err… No, no mister Muller in my life.
JUAN
Any misses?
She stops writing for a second, clears her throat, takes another sip of her juice.
ZOE
No. No misses, no one in my life.
JUAN
Que desperdicio una mujer tan linda como vos.
Zoe scoffs softly.
ZOE
What did you say again?
JUAN
Nothing. I was just thinking out loud here. Let’s get back to work, shall we? Another juice?
Zoe nods nervously and takes a deep breath, while Juan motions to one of his men to grab another juice.
EXT./INT. KATRINA’S HOUSE – DAY
Zoe arrives and sees her mother getting out of a car but doesn’t see the driver.
Katrina tells Zoe it’s her father. Zoe rages. She wants her to see her father again as she knows she’s still with Paula.
They argue. Zoe drives away and notices she’s been followed.
EXT. PAULA’S HOUSE – NIGHT
Zoe arrives at Paula’s house; she waits anxiously for the driver who is chasing her to pass.
Paula’s man, Victor, passes slowly with the car, greets Zoe and moves on.
Zoe rings the bell; there’s no answer.
She calls Paula, but it goes to her voice mail. She gets in the car, waits a while. Tries to find some music on her Spotify, but nothing pleases her.
She taps her fingers on the steering wheel, looks around. She takes a deep breath, exhales, starts the car engine and drives away.
EXT. STREETS/FRONT OF RESTAURANT – NIGHT
A bit further away, Zoe sees Paula’s car in front of a close restaurant. She parks the car and walks around.
At the back of the restaurant, there’s a nice garden; Zoe hears someone talking. Her eyes wide seeing Paula with another VIVIAN (30), well-groomed, slim woman with long, dark hair.
Zoe stands still watching them. When they are about to kiss each other, Vivian notices Zoe. Paula looks back, they eyes met. Zoe’s mouth “FUCK YOU” and leaves.
Paula follows her.
EXT. STREETS – NIGHT
Zoe cries, drives dangerously through the quiet streets.
EXT. BOTANIC PAR – NIGHT
Zoe stops the car in front of the botanic park, slams the car door, walks through the darkness and yells.
Paula arrives. (She begs Zoe to don’t go anymore to Juan’s house, that she’s in danger and she can’t protect her for much longer. They argue.)
ZOE
Why are you doing this to me?
PAULA
Because I love you.
END: Zoe retreats, no action, like James when he heard it from her. Zoe runs to her car and leaves.
EXT. STREETS OF SYDNEY – NIGHT
Zoe cries while driving through the streets. She stops at the red traffic light, signalling left. Above, a sign indicating Tamarama ahead, city to the left. She stares at it for a moment, wonders.
The traffic lights to the left turn green and she doesn’t move; she taps her fingers on the steering wheel nervously.
The main light turns green, she mouths “FUCK”, and speeds driving forward.
—– MIDPOINT —-
EXT. FRONT OF JUAN’S HOUSE – NIGHT
Zoe parks her car in front of Juan’s house and stares at it. She looks at herself in the car’s rearview mirror, rubs her face, smooths her hair. She stares at her image and leans back against the car seat.
She looks sideways at the house and sighs heavily.
ZOE
(to herself)
What are you doing, Zoe?
Zoe closes her eyes gives another sigh, and when she moves to turn on her car, Adriano appears out of nowhere and knocks at her window. She jumps in fright.
ZOE
For Christ sake!
ADRIANO
Sorry if I scared you.
She opens her window breaths heavily.
ADRIANO
Mi patrón waits for you.
Zoe frowns glances sideways. Adriano waits patiently with a soft smile.
She hesitates for a moment, takes a deep breath and follows him.
INT. JUAN’S HOUSE – MAIN LOUNGE – NIGHT
Zoe walks in, followed by Adriano, who closes the door softly and leads her to the main lounge. A piece of soft Cuban music plays in the background.
Adriano leads her to sit on a comfortable sofa when Juan appears. He wears bright, comfy clothes contrasting beautifully with his tanned olive skin.
JUAN
There she is.
He approaches, holding a glass of whisky. He kisses her softly, stops for a second, moves slightly close to her neck and smells her skin.
JUAN
Not sure if I recognize this perfume.
Zoe clears her throat nervously.
ZOE
I’m not wearing any perfume.
JUAN
A natural sense, then.
He backs away and stares at her.
JUAN
I like it.
She glances at his soft, tempting lips and looks away nervously.
Juan scoffs softly, charmingly, and motions her to another area of the house.
INT. JUAN’S HOUSE – ENTERTAINMENT ROOM – NIGHT
The living room is large, with a glass wall overlooking the sea. The lights of the surrounding mansions add to the charm of the look. The music comes from there.
Colourful artwork frames are hung on the wall. Zoe eyes everything in detail while Juan pours brandy on a glass. She notices there’s cocaine lined in a plate nearby.
Juan approaches and gives the glass to her. He glances at the drug.
JUAN
I hope you don’t mind.
ZOE
No, not at all.
They toast, she sips her drink. He doesn’t stop admiring her.
JUAN
I wonder why you took so long to come in and knock on my door.
ZOE
How did you know I was here?
JUAN
You didn’t answer my question.
ZOE
(blows her mouth)
I wasn’t sure if it was the right move to make.
JUAN
Did you argue with someone?
She avoids eye contact.
ZOE
Mom… She drives me crazy sometimes.
JUAN
I see. Mothers can be too controlling. They believe they own us till the end of their lives.
He takes the cocaine and prepares another line. He motions it to her, but she doesn’t accept it.
JUAN
My mother was a little bit like that, sometimes too much. We used to have big arguments, mainly when I took some girlfriends home, you know.
He snorts a line, closes his eyes for a second, exhales with pleasure and takes a sip of his drink.
JUAN
Then she would come and make me pray with her because it was a sin what I was doing. No, no, no, I couldn’t have sex before marriage; it was a nightmare for her.
He giggles softly, stares at the view outside for a moment and places a kiss on the golden cross of his neckless.
JUAN
I learned how to pray with her.
Juan stares at her.
JUAN
Do you know how to pray?
ZOE
Yes.
JUAN
And what about dancing to Cuban music?
Zoe scoffs softly and locks eyes with him.
SERIES OF SHOTS
Juan and Zoe dance to Cuban music.
They have sex; they talk a lot. They laugh.
Juan snorts cocaine, Zoe watches, he offers her, and she accepts. They have more sex.
Zoe snorts more cocaine while he talks; she rolls her eyes, yells and jumps excitedly; they dance more, they laugh more, they have a good time.
INT. JUAN’S HOUSE – BEDROOM – NIGHT
Juan sleeps deeply, but Zoe can’t relax. She looks sideways and slowly gets out of the bed. Silently, Zoe wears her clothes and eyes a small pack of cocaine intact placed on top of a small table near the bed.
She walks towards it and hesitates for a moment. She looks at Juan over her shoulders; he sleeps deeply. She opens the drawer curious and finds more. Zoe twists her lips, glances at him again, grabs two small packs when she sees a gun inside the drawer. She walks back, eyes wide open. She closes the drawer slowly, places the cocaine in her bag and leaves.
Juan opens her eyes but doesn’t say anything.
EXT. JUAN’S HOUSE – NIGHT
Zoe is about to enter her car when she hears a noise coming from the back of the wall. She looks sideways. There’s no one. She moves forward and hears that someone is getting beaten up.
She identifies a car parked nearby. It’s from the man who was chasing her.
Suddenly, her eyes are wide open, and we only hear the sound of someone hitting a person with hardwood, followed by the sound of a body falling to the ground.
Zoe’s eyes well, jaws dropped. She moves backwards and rushes to her car. She opens the door nervously and speeds.
Adriano sees her leaving. He holds a baseball bat with a bloodstain.
INT./EXT. CAR – NIGHT
Zoe cries, speeds, mumbles inaudible words. She drives careless; doesn’t pay attention to traffic lights when she passes through a police car.
The policeman turns on his car lights and follows her.
Zoe looks through the rearview mirror.
ZOE
Shit!
She pulls over, breaths heavily. She opens the car window and waits for the police officer, who carries a flashlight in his hand. She mumbles a few words as if praying, nip biting the tip of her thumb.
The policeman checks her driver license, they talk briefly, she nods. He gives her the breathalyzer, she blows it for a few seconds, sees the results.
POLICEMAN
I need to seize your driver’s license, Ms Muller. You can call someone to pick up your car. You must come with me, please.
She sighs heavily, doesn’t argue. Grabs her bag, locks the car and gets into the police car.
-
Dana has completed Act 2
What have I learned from this assignment?
I wrote all my scene during the previous lesson. Once I had a clear vision and could see the Midpoint, scripting became easier and faster. It’s not perfect, but it’s close to what I want.
SCENES COMPLETED.
-
Lori Has Completed Act 1
What I learned from this assignment is to keep pressing on and to be okay with the first draft. There’s still lots of work to be done.
Short Transition Scene:
INT. THOMAS’ HOUSE – NIGHT
Thomas is in his chair. The blank yellow legal pad sits on the table next to him, and his holding his closed Bible in his hands.
A SIREN is heard from the street in front of Thomas’ house.
Thomas looks toward the window as the lights from an ambulance going by can be seen through the curtains.
THOMAS
Dear, God.
Thomas bows his head.
The phone RINGS.
Thomas doesn’t answer it.
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