-
Post Day 18 Assignment Here
Click reply and post your assignment here.
-
10 Replies
-
Rich and Mary Chamberlin’s Act 3 Middle Scenes
What I learned doing this assignment is that the characters are lightening up and becoming more what they can be, and the opportunities for humor are coming easier and frequently. We know the next rewrite will move along fast as well.
1. Outline Key Scenes 2 & 3.
Key Scene 2: Makes a new plan.
INT. JAX’S APARTMENT – DAY CONTINUES
Morty tells Jax that maybe he should get a job. Then, Morty comes up with an idea. Go apply for his old job and see if he gets hired a la his company telling him that they were getting rid of people to downsize and not hiring anymore. Then, Morty will know whether or not their was ageism against him.
NOTE: SAVE FOR SOMEPLACE ELSE. Melanie mentions her Mom has a new beau, that he’s older but “a catch.” They plan the flying party, making it a celebration of all their good news.
Key Scene 3: Things start going well, until…
INT. DINER – NIGHT
They work on scenes. A whole new idea combining their concepts, Yard Wars. Jax tells Morty that the job was labeled as assistant, but Morty sees that it’s the same job only less money. Morty is convinced now that it was ageism that got him fired. With a three-day weekend coming up, they decide to take a writing break and have the Picnic then. Morty can invite his new date and Jax can invite Melanie and Kyle.
2. Write Key Scene 2: Makes a new plan.
INT. JAX’S APARTMENT – DAY CONTINUES
MORTY: Looks like we’re all going to the air show.
JAX: Yup, ol’…pal.
MORTY: Almost had another dollar for the bucket.
JAX: Morty, how is it that you always have something up your sleeve?
MORTY: Pretty good for someone who always wears short sleeves.
JAX: Let’s get working shorty.
MORTY: Jax, tell me something. Is Kyle your really your kid, you know between you and Melanie.
JAX: Morty, you old rabbit.
MORTY: Ka-ching.
JAX: I didn’t say old man.
MORTY: Ha! Fork over the buck.
JAX: Get real, Morty. Melanie and I are just friends and Kyle is not my son. But, what’s blood family anyhow. It isn’t so great for me.
MORTY: Your family sucks.
JAX: You said it. My Dad only throws money at me, never shows up for anything.
MORTY: And you hate money.
JAX: Got that right.
MORTY: Wait a minute, I see what’s going on here.
JAX: Yeah, we’re trying to work on class work.
MORTY: No, I’m not so stupid. I see you’re giving money to Melanie, for the kid, I suppose.
JAX: Ka-ching.
MORTY: But, I didn’t say it in that –
JAX: –uh, uh. Doesn’t matter. You said it. Dollar please.
Morty fishes out a dollar from his pocket and drops it into the container.
MORTY: Wait a minute…I got it.
JAX: What? How to fix scene three?
MORTY: No. How you can get money without being a slave to your dad and help me solve a mystery. You go to my old work place and apply for my
old job. Doesn’t matter if you know how to do it or not. We’ll make something up. I bet they lied and they are hiring. They just let me go because
of age to save some bucks.
JAX: But, I don’t want a job, right now. I can just suck out my Dad’s money, as long as he doesn’t know that I’m giving it to Melanie and Kyle.
3. Write Key Scene 3: Key Scene 3: Things start going well, until…
INT. DINER – NIGHT
They work on scenes. A whole new idea combining their concepts, Yard Wars. Jax tells Morty that the job was labeled as assistant, but Morty sees that
it’s the same job only less money. Morty is convinced now that it was ageism that got him fired. With a three-day weekend coming up, they decide to take
a writing break and have the Picnic then. Morty can invite his new date and Jax can invite Melanie and Kyle.
INT. DINER – NIGHT
The waitress is keeping the coffee coming, as they write and debate furiously in their customary corner booth in the diner.
JAX: OK, so maybe there is a way to work in something local into a galactic theme.
MORTY: I tell you, Yard Wars will be a winner. A lawn time ago, grass grew far away too fast – the suburbellians struck back.
JAX: Are you kidding? Have you heard about a little film called “Star Wars?” You want to get money or get us sued?
MORTY: Oh, c’mon, Jax. It’s parody. Think of the characters. There’s Weedblocka, C3 Neighbors, R2 Deet Spray, Rake Plant Walker and his
nemeis Dark Pavers. And of course, there’s Princess Lettuce Organic and Hand Trimmer.
JAX: Get serious, old man. And, yes…before you say it, it was worth it to say it.
He begins to pull out a dollar.
MORTY: Okay, okay. You know there’s always Shakespeare Vs. Hitler.
JAX: Morty, you lost. The waitress said so. Let’s get serious. And by the way, I didn’t get that job you sent me on.
MORTY: Sorry, kid.
JAX: Ka-ching.
MORTY: C’mon. I was being compassionate.
Jax holds out the kitty, staring at him.
MORTY: Okay, okay. But it is hard to get into an entry level job.
JAX: Uh, that wasn’t an entry level job. That was a level 3.
MORTY: What? That was my job. Damn. I knew it. I just knew it. They laid me off because of my age. I got ’em now.
JAX: So which high powered lawyer are you planning to hire with your exhorbitant amounts of cash?
MORTY: Yeah. I’ll hire the Malpractice Falcon, you’ve heard of Lawnboy Callisthentics? He always mows down the enemy. OK, forget it.
JAX: I think thats enough Yard Wars for one night. Let’s go back to where we left off. The Freeons were controlling the wormhole.
MORTY: Let’s put in ships who storm the wormhole and a big fight. Everyone always likes a bit action picture.
JAX: Hey, Morty. That sounds good.
MORTY: Ahh, see…k…Jax.
JAX: We can say that the ships look like WW11 bombers.
MORTY: Jax, I’m gonna’ like this.
The Waitress comes over.
WAITRESS: You two get a Pulitzer, yet.
MORTY: They don’t give Pulitzer’s to screenplay writers.
WAITRESS: Why not?
JAX: We don’t count.
WAITRESS: Well, you all drink the same coffee.
MORTY: Well said, Arlene.
The Waitress pours each of them more.
JAX: Thanks. We gotta’ get this scene of ships passing through the wormhole done tonight.
WAITRESS: Ships. Always popular. Having an airshow at Bentley Field on the three-day weekend.
She turns and walks away.
MORTY: Jax, I think we need a lead ship name.
JAX: Yeah, maybe Daredevil is a good name.
MORTY: Wait.
JAX: What?
MORTY: Hey, Arlene.
The waitress stops.
MORTY: What did you say?
WAITRESS: What? About the air show? Yeah, over at Bentley Field.
MORTY: Thanks, Arlene. Jax, that’s it.
JAX: What’s it? You like the name Bentley for the lead ship. That doesn’t sound very dramatic.
MORTY: No. I mean the airshow. We gotta’ go. You can take Kyle. He loves planes. I’ll bring my new date. We’ll all meet up and have great time.
It’ll be a great break for all of us. You can …you know….get to know Melanie a little better.
JAX: Morty. You’re a conniving old man.
MORTY: Ka-ching.
-
This reply was modified 3 years, 10 months ago by Mary Chamberlin.
-
This reply was modified 3 years, 10 months ago by Mary Chamberlin.
-
This reply was modified 3 years, 10 months ago by
-
Karin Hallén’s Act 3 Middle Scenes
What I learned doing this assignment is that I understand now why so many movies “fall apart” after the midpoint. This is difficult. I sense that this story risks falling apart, from a lack of freshness and new unfolding after the midpoint. I am also learning that without a new layer of depth being introduced here we will stop caring about what happens, because we won’t care about the characters. They risk becoming repetitive and one-dimensional. I haven’t solved the problem yet, but I have learned about it and it is on my radar to be worked on in the rewrite.
Outline Key Scenes 2 & 3
PLACEHOLDER: Key Scene 2, or 3 George
MONTAGE
Scene(s) that shows that George uses Gena more and in different ways.
Key Scene 2 Geena’s perspective
INT. LECTURE HALL 4 – DAY
Beginning
Geena says she’s tired. Says she’s not used to talking this much. She had nobody to talk to for 3 millenniums. Geena tells George that she not interested in going any further than the wishes have obliged her to. George doesn’t care. Geena decides to use her new power to make things more difficult for George, so that he’ll get tired of her and finally ask for his last wish.
Middle
Geena says bad things about George and answers in a rude way to the audience. But it all backfires, because she is so funny that the audience loves it and roars with laughter.
End
A lot of books sell. Geena is pissed off. So is George. But he’s happy with the book sales.
Montage:
George gives Geena even more time and visibility on stage, cashing in on her popularity. Geena gets exhausted. She still gives blunt, often rude answers to audience’s questions. This still backfires, as the audience loves them since they are funny and brimming with truth. And they have come to expect her to be like that. Geena is bummed. George is pleased and behaves victorious.
Key Scene 3 Geena 3 B George
EXT. TENNIS COURT – DAY
Beginning
Geena and George play tennis. Someone comes up to Geena and asks her something.
Middle
She says something to deliberately reflect poorly on George. He realizes that Geena has power with people now, and that he needs to change his manners towards her and be nice, to try to get her to change her attitude, without him having to ask for his last wish.
End
He lets her win in tennis and praises her after the game. She sees through him and lets him know.
Key Scene 3 C George, 3B Geena
INT. LARGE CONFERENCE ROOM – DAY
Beginning
George pushes Geena even more time at a seminar, cashing in on her popularity. Geena is exhausted and completely fed up.
Middle
After a short coffee/bathroom break in the lecture, Geena changes strategy and starts mimicking George’s way of talking and the audience quickly loses interest. Some leave.
End
While George and Geena pack up after the lecture George confronts Geena about her change of style to deliberately chase people away. She plays oblivious and innocent. She says “What do you mean, I talked exactly the way you do? I learned from you.” First George argues and says she didn’t sound at all like him. She makes actual comparisons between what she said to what he always says and proves that she is right. After a moment George realizes that she’s right. George looks shocked and Geena looks smug. She hums a happy melody. It’s obvious that she knows she has the upper hand now.
INT. PUBLIC RESTROOM – DAY
George looks in the mirror. He looks defeated. He sees an imaginary image of Geena behind him in the mirror, talking and sounding exactly like him and it’s monotonous and dull. George buries his face in his hands. He decides to admit to Geena that she’s been right all along and give her what she wants, but before he has a chance to Geena is introduced to new circumstances that changes things for her when she sees an ad for a golf resort.
Key scene 3 C Geena
beginning
INT. BAR – DAY – MOMENTS LATER
TRANSFORMATIONAL EVENT 6B
Geena grabs a a golf resort pamphlet and reads it at the bar. She spits out her drink when she sees a price for a gold stay there. She realizes that golf at resorts cost a lot of money. She needs money! Suddenly success becomes important to her as well.
Middle
Geena tells George they need to get to work, because she needs money. Now George has the power. He plays hard to get, but only for a minute. He needs Geena.
End
She makes a deal with him to get a percentage of the book sales and speaker fees.
MONTAGE:
Scenes of mostly Geena speaking at different convention centers and book stores and hotels. She gives it her all now. She has her eyes set on success, which in her eyes mean money. Huge applause and great book sales. The success is there. The money. The audience.
Key Scene 3 D – for both George and Geena
INT. LECTURE HALL – DAY
Beginning
End of a seminar. Huge success. George and Geena doing a high five and actually getting along. Talking about how awesome it’s going.
Middle
Geena counts money. That’s all she cares about. George talks about how he’s becoming famous. He’s beaming. Maybe he even thanks Geena.
End
A moment of positive peace. It looks like they are both on their way to get what they want.
Write Key Scenes 2 and 3
Key Scene 2 George
MONTAGE
Two short scene(s) that shows that George uses Geena more and more. She sets up the sales table, hands out fliers before the event starts, greets the audience by the door and interacts on stage more and more.
Key Scene 2 Geena’s perspective
INT. SMALL HOTEL – DAY
George rubs the lamp. Geena appears. She clears her throat and yawns as she comes out of the lamp. She has dark circles under her eyes. He voice is hoarse and uninspired.
GEENA
Your wish is my command.
GEORGE
It’s time to go to work. Book signing at StarWrite Bookstore.
GEENA
Please, I need a day.
GEORGE
Are you kidding, I’m just starting to gain momentum. I’m selling.
GEENA
And I am exhausted. I didn’t to anyone for 3 millenniums! And now I am supposed to talk for hours to roomfuls of strangers every day and answer their weird random questions about everything they think is wrong in the world.
GEORGE
If you had read what my book is about you wouldn’t call them random questions.
GEENA
And if you’d given me five minutes off now and then maybe I would have had tome to read your book.
GEORGE
Would you?
GEENA
No.
GEORGE
Didn’t think so.
GEENA
And I didn’t think I would ever say that I would rather stay in there than be out here.
George looks away. He looks a bit sad. Geena looks out the window. She looks sad, too. They both seem lost and lonely in their own bubble. It is clearly getting to them to be arguing constantly.
INT. LARGE BOOKSTORE – DAY
George and Geena set up before a small speaking engagement and book signing. George pulls out a paper from his pocket. It’s a handwritten list.
GEORGE
So, I have written down a couple of things I want you to say today.
GEENA
I don’t lie.
GEORGE
I’ve taken that into account.
Geena takes the list and reads out loud from it.
GEENA
“I had hoped for years and years to get a gig, without success and I was incredibly excited when George Wallow found me and brought me out of my shell. He truly brought me back to the world after I’d been suffering in complete isolation and solitude unable to reach out.” What kind of nonsense is this? What does this have to do with anything?
GEORGE
It’s the truth, isn’t it?
GEENA
Taken completely out of context.
GEORGE
It shows that I’m a visionary. And if they hear how I’ve helped you, a hopeless case, that will build trust that what I have to offer I can help anyone. I’ll get coaching clients.
GEENA
That’s a lie. Again. You are doing everything NOT to help me! We both know that if you wanted to help me you would ask for your last wish right now. The only one you care to help at all is yourself, and you suck at that too. I don’t want to support that for so many reasons.
GEORGE
It’s what I wished for in my second wish. That you as my assistant help me with anything I ask anytime I say so.
GEENA
I can’t believe there is nothing in the fine print of the genie contract that prohibits wishes that don’t have a natural end to them. That’s crazy! Just know that you’re not getting away with this forever. I’ve had it.
The BOOKSTORE MANAGER approaches them.
BOOKSTORE MANAGER
People are starting to show up. Are you guys ready?
George makes an awkward gesture intended to look strong and cool.
GEORGE
Oh, yeah. Ready to rock’n roll.
People sit down on the chairs in the store and George greets the audience with a book in his hand.
GEORGE
I’m George Wallow. And as you know this is my book. It is my mission to selflessly serve humanity and the world. To help all the lonely souls in this world. Like my assistant here, Geena can attest to.
George makes a gesture towards Geena and when she doesn’t move, pulls her in front of him, while whispering.
GEORGE
The paper. Say that.
Geena looks at the people in front of her, waiting in anticipation.
GEENA
I had hoped for years and years to get a gig, without success and I was incredibly excited when George Wallow found me and brought me out of my shell. He truly brought me back to the world after I’d been suffering in complete isolation and solitude unable to reach out.
The audience applauds. George beams.
GEENA
And never would I have thought in a million years that being here, with him, would be a lonelier life and experience than being trapped in a bubble on my own for more years than you care to know. But it is. Because there is nothing lonelier than being around what’s artificial. If you eat artificial food your body feels abandoned. Lonely. Panicked. It doesn’t reach your organs. But all you had to do was to stop processing the real food to look so glossy, so trendy, so perfect and it would have been right there in your stomach sending vitamins and fibers and all that good stuff right into your blood and liver and what not and your body would feel flourish. But who wants to buy what grows in your own backyard. It’s not the amount of food, it’s the lack of nutrition. And if you ask me, with my limited experience of the world, that goes for everything.
George quickly steps in front of Geena.
The audience is quiet for a moment and people look at each other, uncertain. Then a woman starts clapping and everyone breaks into applause. George looks mortified.
Key Scene 3 Geena 3 B George
EXT. TENNIS COURT – DAY
Geena and George play tennis. When they take a breather a Woman who was at the book signing comes up to Geena. She
WOMAN
I was at the book signing last night. I really like what you said about nutrition. But did you actually mean to say what it sounded like you said about him?
The Woman nods at George who steps up to them ready to sign an autograph.
GEENA
Oh, you mean that all the advertising in the world can’t make what’s not equipped to fill that hole of empty inside magically will do it. Just like any amount of sales will never be enough for George. No matter how many dead bodies he walks over to get there.
George gasps.
WOMAN
Oh.
George throws a sweaty towel at Geena. The Woman looks extremely uncomfortable being in the middle of their fight. She quickly leaves.
GEORGE
What the F! You are supposed to help me! You are obliged to!
GEENA
I’m obliged to play tennis.
GEORGE
And to be around and help me anytime I command you to.
GEENA
To play tennis or to be around are straight orders. Now, to “help” is subjective. If you ask me I’m doing nothing more than help you right now. Because you are definitely not equipped to handle success. You can’t even appreciate what you already have. Like a goddamn full time tennis partner, assistant, prisoner running herself ragged for what? For nothing, not even a life in freedom in sight! So what am I supposed to do if not everything I can to help myself. I’m going to make your life a living hell until you ask for your last wish. So hurry up.
George paces back and forth. He thinks.
GEORGE
Ok. I’m sorry if I’ve been pushing you to hard. And if I haven’t been thanking you for everything. I umm, appreciate it. Peace, huh?
George offers Geena his hand. She rolls her eyes. The finish the game. George lets Geena win. He applauds and cheers.
GEORGE
Well done! I’m proud of you.
GEENA
Don’t think for a second I fall for that.
They leave the tennis court.
EXT. RESTAURANT – DAY
They walk through the city carrying their tennis racket. They walk past a nice looking restaurant.
GEORGE
Let me buy you a nice lunch.
Geena eyes him suspiciously. The aroma of great food reaches her. She smells into the air.
GEORGE
They have nutritious food.
INT. RESTAURANT – DAY
George and Geena eat a lavish lunch. George makes sure to be very nice to Geena and tops of her water glass etc.
GEENA
You are not fooling me.
George sighs.
GEORGE
Ok, then. Well to spell it out, when I command you to be around to assist and HELP me anytime I command, HELP means that you can not say anything bad about me, ok. That’s not a new wish it’s a specification of the already existing one. So, there!
Geena makes an annoyed and very ugly face at him just as a young child looks at her. The young child lights up and immediately makes the same face at his parents. His parents immediately scolds him. The child points at George and Geena’s table. The mother heads over and slaps George.
INT. LARGE CONFERENCE ROOM – DAY
George and Geena arrive.
GEORGE
Don’t forget the specification of the word help, today, ok.
Geena looks like she’s in a bad mood.
The room fills up.
George wishes everyone welcome.
PLACEHOLDER: Geena’s blunt and bad mood backfires as she is actually really funny to the audience and the laugh and cheer. She’s more popular than ever.
GEENA
I have to go pee!
GEORGE
Ok, let’s take five everyone. Books for sale already now if you don’t want to wait in line after we’re done.
A bunch of people head for the book table. George turns to Geena and whispers.
GEORGE
I don’t know how you do it, but we’re more popular than ever.
George rushes to the book table, while Geena disappears out of the room.
INT. CORRIDOR – DAY
Geena stands leaning against a wall, strategizing with herself.
GEENA
What to do, what to do?
She looks up into the ceiling and then closes her eyes as if meditating.
INT. LARGE CONFERENCE ROOM – DAY
Geena comes back into the room.
GEORGE
I think you should just take over for the day. I command you do.
Geena clenches her jaws and her hands into fists. She starts talking.
PLACEHOLDER: Geena behaves and talks very different than she did before the break. She perfectly mimics George’s way of talking and behaving. She uses the words and phrases he does and uses the gestures he does etc. The audience quickly loses interest. Somebody yawns. Some people leave. More people leave. George looks bewildered.
DISSOLVE TO:
INT. LARGE CONFERENCE ROOM – DAY – LATER
George and Geena are the only two people left in the room.
GEORGE
You just chased everyone away! On purpose! I ordered you not to say anything bad!
GEENA
I didn’t.
GEORGE
Yes you did! You changed everything! You were awful! Deliberately.
GEENA
What do you mean? I just talked exactly like you. I said exactly what you say. I learned it from you.
GEORGE
That’s not true.
GEENA
Really? Let’s see.(Insert dialogue comparisons here that proves that Geena is correct.)
George looks completely shocked. Geena hums a happy melody.
INT. PUBLIC RESTROOM – DAY
George looks into the mirror. He looks defeated.
GEORGE’S IMAGINATION:
An image of Geena appears behind him in the mirror, talking and sounding exactly like him. It’s extremely monotonous, boring and dull. Geena’s colors fade to gray as she speaks. She dissolves into nothing as her voice fades to his as a mumble without words.
END GEORGE’S IMAGINATION
George leans against the sink, leaning his forehead against the mirror, looking completely resigned.
INT. CONFERENCE BUILDING – BAR – DAY
Geena sits at library style the bar, sipping a drink waiting for George. She still hums the happy melody and looks victorious. She picks up a travel magazine with a pamphlet inside it advertising a golf Resort. She takes a closer look. She spits out her drink from the shock when she sees the price for a stay at the resort. It splatters all over the page. A cute COCKTAIL WAITRESS stops.
COCKTAIL WAITRESS
Are you ok? Is there something wrong with the drink.
Geena shakes her head, coughing and points to the golf resort ad in the pamphlet.
COCKTAIL WAITRESS
Oh, yeah. Seems like an awesome deal!
The Cocktail waitress leaves a few extra napkins with Geena and leaves. Geena sits like paralyzed.
George enters the bar and approaches Geena.
GEORGE
Geena, you are right. You’ve been right all along. And I’ve decided that…
Geena sees him interrupts as she jumps to her feet.
GEENA
Forget everything I said! We need to get to work! We’re gonna need to make some real money!
GEORGE
What?
His eyes lands on the golf resort pamphlet.
INT. DINER – DAY
George and Geena sit at a window table. Geena finishes scribbling numbers on a piece of paper and slides it over to George. The paper states Books 25%. Door 50%
GEENA
That’s my fair my commission of the book sales and my percentage of the door. Plus per diem, say 50 dollars.
GEORGE
What, no! That’s outrageous.
GEENA
Take it or you sink.
GEORGE
If I do so do you. No golf.
GEENA
So be it.
George evaluates. Geena has a straight poker face. George nods.
GEORGE
Ok. Deal. You should be a loan shark.
GEENA
Worked for one once. Back in 1200BC. Made him a lot of camels with three wishes.
They shake hands formally.
GEENA
Let’s do this!
PLACEHOLDER:
MONTAGE:
Montage of scenes at different convention centers and book stores and hotels. Mostly Geena speaking. She’s on fire! She gives it her all now. She has her eyes set on success, which in her eyes mean money. Huge applause and great book sales. The success is there. The money. The audience.
Key Scene 3 D – for both George and Geena
INT. LECTURE HALL – DAY
Geena and George are on stage. It’s the end of a seminar.
GEENA
Thank you so much everyone for coming out. I hope you heard something of value for you in today’s seminar. And don’t forget to pick up a book on the way out. If you already own it it’s never too early to start getting ready for Christmas! Thank you, thank you!
The audience applauds and cheers.
GEORGE
The amazing, the wonderful, the one the only Geena!
The audience stands up, applauding harder, cheering louder.
George and Geena look at each other and smile. They do a high five.
INT. HOTEL ROOM 4 – NIGHT
George and Geena enter the room. He is carrying his own luggage and as many books as she is now.
GEORGE
I can’t believe how aaawesome it’s going. We rooocked!
GEENA
Sales record! Wohoo!
Geena sits down on one of the two queen sized beds and counts money. George walks around in the room, pumped up!
GEORGE
I’m getting famous! Can you believe it. I’m becoming famous for real! I’m gonna be on Ellen, and Oprah. The Today show! I’m gnne be a millionaire! Take that and shove it!
GEENA
Uh? Who?
George looks embarrassed for a second.
GEORGE
Oh, nothing. Nobody. Everybody.
Geena holds up the summary of the sales receipts.
GEENA
We’re doing gooood!
GEORGE
Do you just want to sleep in that bed tonight? Instead of all scrunched up in that thing?
He nods at the lamp.
GEENA
Nah, I like it in there now. Peaceful.
She salutes George as she shrinks and swooshes into the lamp.
GEORGE
Hey, thank you.
-
BERNADETTE WILSON – LESSON 18 – MIDDLE SCENES
What I learned doing this assignment was I broke through on the mystery and how to solve it. The justification of the protagonist.INT. BRINDA’S APARTMENT – NIGHT
Brinda is still wondering about the place where she was and how long she’s come.
She goes to her closet and takes out an old suitcase.
She starts looking through old memories and finds an early picture of her mother. And a wedding photo of her parents. How young they look. How innocent.
FLASHBACK: INT. OLD CHEVY CAR – DAY
Brinda as a little girl is driving in a huge old chevy with her mother.
Her mother looks beautiful but unsteady.
MIMI
It’s what we have to do baby. Don’t let any of them think their dirty thoughts on you baby.
END FLASHBACK
Brinda cannot fathom what she’s thinking and feeling. She has thoughts for Cal but she’s afraid of them.
THE PHONE RINGS
Brinda goes and answers.
BRINDA
Hello?
It’s the crying woman again.
MIMI
They’re gonna hurt me.
BRINDA
Who is going to hurt you?
MIMI
YOU KNOW BABY.
BRINDA
I don’t know. You have to tell me.
MIMI
Don’t let him touch you baby.
BRINDA
Is this Mary Lou?
There’s a dead silence on the phone. There’s hardly a breathe. Then the line goes dead.
Brinda hangs up the phone, gets her things and runs out.INT. HOSPITAL ROOM – DAY
Brinda comes into hospital room. Dr. Sonya is awake. Her eyes are still bandaged.
DR. SONYA
Who is it?
BRINDA
It’s me.
DR. SONYA
Thank God.
BRINDA
Sonya, I need to ask you about someone you might have remembered.
DR. SONYA
Yes?
BRINDA
She was a person you treated at Silver lake. A Mary Lou Baker
Dr. Sonya is drugged and doesn’t respond.
BRINDA
She was there around the same time that my Mom was there.
Sonya struggles a bit.
DR. SONYA
I don’t remember.
BRINDA
Her file said that you were her doctor. But there’s no indication that she was still there or gone.There Was no release record.
DR. SONYA
I would have to look at my files but I at the moment I don’t recall her.
BRINDA
Of course.
Brinda looks across at the closet and silently goes and opens it.
She looks for Dr. Sonya’s keys.
DR. SONYA
Is Doctor Owen still there?
BRINDA
Ah, no. We only were able to talk to Dr. Peele. Do you know her?
DR. SONYA
No, she must of come as a replacement after I left.
BRINDA
Yes it’s been a while.
Brinda finds certain keys and puts them in her pocket.
A night nurse comes in with some medication.
BRINDA
You must be tired. I will tell Cal.
DR. SONYA
Thank you.
Brinda leaves the hospital room as the nurse gives Dr. Sonya some drugs.INT. DR. SONYA’S OFFICE – NIGHT
Brinda starts going through the different file cabinets of Dr. Sonya’s.
She can’t find anything so far.
Then she look at an old key on the chain.
She starts opening different drawers.
At the bottom drawer she finds a wooden box.
Brinda takes out the box and sees a group of files.
THERE”S A SOUND OF SOMEONE IN THE HALLWAY.
Brinda takes the wooden box out and takes it with her.INT. BRINDA’S APARTMENT – NIGHT
Brinda starts searching through the files.
She comes across a Miriam Joan Cage, a brown-haired beauty who looks alot like Brinda.
She knows it’s the file of her mother. Reading this file is horrifying to her.
In this file she finds out who put her there. It was a different circumstance than the one she was told. She finds out that Dr. Sonya was the doctor attending her.
Brinda takes out another file.
It’s the Mary Lou Baker file. She realizes that there were files switched.
Brinda attempts to call Cal.
THE PHONE RINGS OFF THE HOOK.
She grabs her stuff and goes to leave. She thinks a minute and then she goes to the bedroom, opens the night table and takes out the gun and puts the bullets in.
She then exits.
INT. BRINDA’S APARTMENT STAIRWELL – NIGHT
As Brinda comes down the stairs because she lives five flights up, she notices MAYBELLE on the third level coming out.
MAYBELLE
What’s cooking honey?
BRINDA
I have to go.
MAYBELLE
Baby – where you skitdaddlin to?
Brinda hurries away.INT. NEW YORK BAR – NIGHT
This is a place that Cal comes frequently.
He notices a blonde looking woman at the bar. But not bombshell material. She doesn’t look like Marilyn. She looks like a respectable woman.
CAL
Can I buy you a drink?
MIMI
Why sure.
Only it is the REAL Mimi!
INT. THE POLICE DEPARTMENT – CAL’S DESK – NIGHT
Brinda comes in and finds that Cal is not at his desk.
A COP is at his desk.
BRINDA
Is Cal around.
COP
He left half an hour ago.
BRINDA
Do you know where? He’s not at home.
COP
Don’t know. Maybe a drink?
BRINDA
You know what bar he goes to?
COP
We all go to Smith’s on 44th
BRINDA
Thanks.
Brinda leaves.PLACEHOLDER: Another part of the script – I have to introduce Mimi as answering a question to someone at another bar – the same way – right before she drugs them. Gets them out of the bar or wherever she picks them up, and then kills them.
PLACEHOLDER: Somewhere here I have to put down that Jack Cage was working as a cop on the beat with the BOSS. Mimi, before Jack Cage came home from the war, was having an affair with Mr. Webber, Jesse’s father. She was even passed around to the BOSS at one point.
When Jack came home, Mimi kept up the front, but was losing it. Jack found out about it somehow. Even though Webber told Mimi to keep her mouth shut.
Mimi was well in the mental institution before Jack found out that the person he was working for, WEBBER, was the one doing his wife.
Unbeknownst to Jack, BOSS was working for Webber and in the heat of the night, Boss killed Jack. IT WAS NOT AN ACCIDENT! BOSS got promoted. Mimi still in institution.
PLACEHOLDER: In order to escape the mental institution of which Webber gives a shit load of money to, Mimi switched the files of who was going to be lobotmized. She went in, switched them and then escaped as Mary Lou Baker.
Dr. Sonya knew all about what Mimi did, but changed the files. She knew Brinda’s mother was still alive, but she played the game because Webber knew how to promote her as well.
Only Mimi turned on Dr. Sonya especially when it came to Brinda. Especially when mimi found out that she was grooming Brinda for the same fate.PLACEHOLDER:
Where is Mimi getting the money for expensive up keep? She’s dancing’/stripping for her supper as Mary Lou. She has a different disguise. Instead of brown hair she has blonde hair. Like Mary Lou. For 7 years.
How do we
Where is she getting the drugs to poison the men? Does she have a prescription from her doctor? – Dr. Feelgood?
Why can’t she get to the BOSS and Jesse’s Father – Mr. Webber? – She wants her daughter first.
Mimi wants revenge and she wants her daughter back.
How does she know that Jack was killed by BOSS?
Was she there and then got away? -
RAE’S ACT 3 – MIDDLE SCENES
What I learned from this assignment. This structure works. As the tension builds so does the story. I’m trying to stay focused and on course, but sometimes my brain takes me off in other directions.
ACT 3 – SCENE #1 REACTS/ RETHINKS THE NEW REALITY AT MIDPOINT
HARBOR YACHT CLUB (LONG BEACH) – NIGHT
Jesi enters, sees Harold with a dozen good old boys grouped around the bar. She stops and freezes. Harold spots her and hurries over.
HAROLD
Didn’t think you’d make it. Are you sure you can handle this?
She nods as they continue walking towards a group of FOURTEEN WELL WORN, OLDER MEN.
HAROLD
I know it seems pretty noisy, but trust me on weekends it gets a lot worse.
(shouts to the men)
Hey fellas, meet Jesi, my protegee. And she’s one helluva real estate agent. Works the entire coast from Redondo to Laguna. So talk to her about your properties. She’ll trade them up or down whatever you like. Besides that, she drives a mean constructions truck, and will even fix your roofs and plumbing.
Harold takes Jesi’s hand, introduces her to the old codgers one by one. Each of them light up as they speak to her. A few of the men crowd closer, genuinely interested.
JIM BAKER (75), JOE SCHMIDT (78), BOSS MULLER (70), step up.
JOE SCHMIDT
Jesi, Joseph Schmidt, but you can call me Joe. Who are you with?
JESI
Schindler Investments, Long Beach. Before that I was with — — . They have four coastal offices. I was their top producer for five years. But I’ve decided to jump into investment properties, just for the challenge. But if I’m entirely honest, it’s for the paychecks too.
JOE SCHMIDT
Hell, I sacked my agent last year. I was over him and his games. Now I’ve got this thirty unit complex close to Long Beach Harbor I want to sell. Maybe trade it into something bigger. So talk to me — maybe I’ll give you a shot.
The noise pumps up as Jesi sits down with Joe. She strains to listen, then takes out her phone and enters his information.
EXT. YACHT CLUB (LATE EVENING)
Jesi leaves the building, signals a VALET, her cell phone flashing “Dr. Leblanc.” She hesitates then answers.
JESI
Doctor, I’m sorry my bill is still outstanding —
GERALD LEBLANC (O.S.)
How’s tomorrow morning for a coffee?
The valet pulls up in her car. She slips into the driver’s seat still on the phone.
JESI
I’m sorry, wish I could. Maybe another time?
ACT #3 – SCENE 2 – MAKES A NEW PLAN
INT./EXT. JOHNSON HOME/ OFFICE – DAY
Jesi makes a deal with Mario as an equal partner. They shake hands, then walk outside to the Silverado construction truck.
JESI
I know how much my Dad trusted you. He also paid you half of what you deserved. So let’s do this! Take it away, the truck is yours.
MARIO
You interested in the work at all? I mean, you were so good on that roof.
JESI
My focus has to be on real estate. Don’t worry, we’ll hire you a helper.
He blasts the truck horn, waves as he drives the truck away.Jesi walks back inside the home, her cell flashing.
JESI
(into phone)
Yes, this is she.
(listens)
I’m very aware that you need payment, but I can’t do this unless we work out a payment plan. Look, can I speak to the Doctor? Doctor LeBlanc —
She waits on the line forever. Finally the doctor responds.
GERALD LEBLANC
Jesi? This is Doctor Leblanc.
JESI
Doctor, I always knew medical care was expensive, but I had no idea it could reach this proportion.
(starts crying)
I’m sorry. My father let his bridging insurance lapse —
GERALD LEBLANC
Look, I have a surgery scheduled in a few minutes. Can we meet somewhere, possibly for lunch? This Saturday — if you are free.
JESI
Yes, yes, let’s meet for lunch.
GERALD LEBLANC
The Honor Bar. Pine Street, one o’clock?
JESI
Perfect.
ACT 3 – KEY SCENE #3 – Things start going well… until
A call flashes on Jesi’s phone. She answers and listens.
JESI
Yes, this is Jesi Johnson, Jackson Johnson’s daughter.
(listens long and hard)
What do you mean he has IRS debt? Look, I have no one else to turn to here. I have no mother, no siblings. My father just died two months ago, and I’m trying to hold all of this together. Plus pay off his medical debt —
(listens)
A meeting at the IRS? This week? You’re kidding me!
INT. THE HONOR BAR – DAY
Jesi chats with Dr. LeBlanc over lunch. Their energy is electric. It’s an obvious “love at first sight” moment.
JESI
I’m finding out my father’s spending was pretty reckless. I’ve even got the IRS calling me. It turns out he liked to gamble. What should I do, Dr. Leblanc?
GERARD LEBLANC
Well first, take one step at a time. Would you like to share some wine?
JESI
I’d love to.
GERARD LEBLANC
French Rose?
She nods as he calls the WAITER over.
GERALD LEBLANC
A bottle of French Rose. From the Loire Valley if you have it.
The waiter nods and leaves.
GERALD LEBLANC
(grins)
Now let’s talk more about Sinatra.
JESI
I’d love to. But first, I want you to know that I fully intend to pay off my father’s debt. I just need more time, doctor.
GERALD LEBLANC
It’s Gerald. And I’m giving you all the time you need.
The luncheon continues, the wine keeps pouring. It seems neither one wants it to end.
GERALD LEBLANC
Can we do this again? Next time, for dinner?
JESI
But, we haven’t discussed Sinatra.
GERALD LEBLANC
All right, what’s your favorite song?
JESI
Oh my God, so many. There’s this one song that’s hardly ever played. It’s titled Dindi, pronounced Jinji. My favorite part is, “Like a river that can’t find the sea, that would be me without you Dindi.”
(reflects)
Whenever I hear Sinatra sing it, I wish I was Dindi.
INT. HENRY’S OFFICE/ THE BULLPEN – DAY
Jesi is at her desk, scans the “Hot Sheet,” a list of new property listings. Harold’s property is listed at the very top. She storms into Henry’s office, stands in the doorway.
JESI
So much for us sharing Harold’s listing.
She throws her head outside, shouts to A DOZEN AGENTS in the Bullpen.
JESI
Hey! You’re all a bunch of narcissists! Every one of you! Well, screw you! I don’t need your leads, or help from any damn one of you.
The quiet is deafening. She looks to Henry who is finishing up his Haiku for the day. He hands her the page.
HENRY
This is for you —
She takes it, tears the page into shreds.
JESI
Fuck Haiku. You’re a snake, and this is war! You wouldn’t share Harold’s listing, and I’ll bet money that it was you who stole my lead. So I’m warning you, start guarding your clients, because I’m going after every one of them. I mean it.
She storms out as fast as she stormed in. Goes to her cubicle, writes a deadly Haiku that takes a few drafts.
HAIKU
Snake is a good word;
When describing Henry Wu;
Asshole is better.
She runs back to Henry’s office, slaps the Haiku on his desk.
INT. FRENCH RESTAURANT – NIGHT
Gerald and Jesi are seated outside. Lights strung all over, the tables are all intimately placed. Soft music plays. He leans in and kisses her. When finally they pull apart —
GERARD LEBLANC
Okay, what’s your favorite song for tonight?
JESI
Sinatra? Let me think. “You’re getting to be a habit with me.”
GERARD LEBLANC
I want to have children with you.
She smiles, goes quiet.
GERARD LEBLANC
Did I scare you?
JESI
No. No, not at all.
GERARD LEBLANC
I never speak that way —
JESI
Nor I. I mean, I’m thirty-nine and children have not been an issue. I mean, my biological clock is fine.
GERARD LEBLANC
And I’m forty two, and can’t get you out of my head.
They laugh together. He kisses her again.
GERARD LEBLANC
Will you come home with me?
JESI
Right now?
He nods, yes. She nods back. He places cash on the table. As they leave Gerald bumps into his good friend JOSEPH DECAMP (60), who is a doctor, and also a MARRIAGE CLEEBRANT.
PULL BACK for introductions and small talk. Then GO CLOSE.
GERARD LEBLANC
(to Jesi)
Joseph is a doctor, and also a marriage celebrant. If you’re in the same mood as me — we could take advantage of him.
Jesi laughs and then nods “Yes.” Gerald turns to Joseph.
GERALD LEBLANC
Do you have the time?
JOSEPH
It would be my pleasure.
Gerald finds a MAITRE DE and they talk for a minute.
When he returns, the party goes to a far end of the dining area, shrouded with Olive trees, strung with lights. Words of love spill out, as Joseph performs the wedding ceremony.
INT. BEDROOM (CONTINUOUS)
Gerard and Jesi lie in bed. Their love making hot, tender passionate, as if they’ve known each other’s bodies before. He strokes slowly, his fingertips taking her breathe away.
AFTERWARDS
They lie together, not surrendering to sleep.
GERARD LEBLANC
I love you, Jesi.
JESI
(whispers back)
I love you too — how did this happen?
He kisses her, then grins.
GERARD LEBLANC
It had to be Sinatra.
She holds up her left hand, her ring finger wrapped in a gold band.
JESI
Is it a dream?
GERARD LEBLANC
It’s real, once we get the license.
JESI
What did Joseph call this?
GERARD LEBLANC
A commitment ceremony. To make it legal we need a marriage license.
They fall back in each others arms and start slow, passionate love making.
INT. SCHINDLER INVESTMENT PROPERTIES – DAY
Jesi knocks and enters. Jason looks up, disinterested.
JESI
I have to apologize for my bad behavior the past three months. There’s no real excuse, it’s just I’ve had a lot on my plate, dealing with the aftermath of my father’s death, manning his construction company. I’ve been running myself ragged.
JASON
(stops and listens)
Take a seat.
She looks down at her right hand. Sees the wedding ring, rips it off and stuffs it in her purse.
JESI
You weren’t here, but I’m sure you heard I lost it in the bull pen day before last.
JASON
I heard.
JESI
Well, all that has changed. I just signed up two new listings. Thirty units in The Shores, and a twenty five unit building in Anaheim. And I have buyers.
JASON
(shakes her hand)
Congratulations! Wow! Now you’re talking. Need any help?
JESI
Both Michael and Suze have agreed to walk me through the listing and marketing procedures — so far it’s all going well. It’s gonna be a big learning curve.
JASON
Well, I’m here for you as well. Keep this up, you could be our “Rookie of the Year.”
JESI
Any advice you want to throw in?
JASON
Share your listings with the guys. Make some friends out there. We all need friends, you know. But don’t go falling for or marrying any one of them. Our deal is single ladies only —
JESI
What! What are you talking about?
JASON
My office policy, remember? Our original deal was you must remain single.
JESI
You can’t dictate something like that. That’s sexual harassment.
JASON
This is my shop. It’s worked for me so far. If you wanna stay, get a shot at number one, then stay single.
(pauses)
So, where did you get these listing leads?
JESI
Friends of friends. It’s amazing what can happen when you put yourself out there.
JASON
Have you told Henry?
JESI
Henry and I don’t get along these days.
INT. BULL PEN – LATER
Jesi approaches the bull pen, stops in the middle and clears her throat. No one flinches or even looks up.
JESI
Hey, fellas!
TWO MEN look up from their desks, no more.
Jesi tries again, gives a loud pitched dog whistle that gets their attention.
JESI
I just want to say to all of you, that I’m sorry. I was an unmitigated creep the other day.
Heads nod in agreement. She even gets a few smiles.
JESI
Again, I’m sorry.
Michael snaps beside Jesi to give his support.
MICHAEL
Okay guys, lets hear it for our top producer. She listed 20 units that sold in one day. And she’s got thirty units coming up.
She has their attention.
AGENT #1
What’s the location? What’s the price per door? I’ve got buyers.
AGENT #2
Do we get first shot? I mean before te word gets out.
JESI
Yes, for sure. I will definitely let you know.
IN THE REAR
Henry stands at his office door listening. He shakes his head in the negative, returns to his desk.
ON JESI AND MICHAEL
She squeals as Michael lifts and spins her off her feet.
TIME LAPSE
Jesi knocks, peeps inside Henry’s door.
HENRY
(grunts)
I suppose you’re here to flaunt your listings. How the hell did you get your foot in the door?
JESI
Female prowess.
HENRY
Well, if and when you decide to share, I’ve got the buyers.
JESI
Of course. Once I get the green light I’ll be sharing with all of our agents.
HENRY
Give me a two day exclusive and you’ll get a percentage.
JESI
I didn’t know you were that desperate.
HENRY
Okay, forget it.
JESI
Sorry, that was nasty. It’s the residue from you stealing Harold’s listing.
(extends hand)
Friends?
HENRY
Friends.
(hesitates)
Sorry I’ve been such a prick. It’s a defense mechanism, since I signed up for the school of hard knocks.
INT. BULL PEN/ HENRY’S OFFICE (LATER)
Jesi writes a Haiku to Henry at her desk.
HAIKU
Sorry takes courage;
Comes from an enlightenment;
That lives in the heart.
Jesi enters Henry’s office, hands him the Haiku. He reads it and smiles. All of the negative fall out seems to fall away.
MONTAGE:
INT. YACHT CLUB (LONG BEACH) – EARLY EVENING
Jesi meets with BOSS MULLER (75), one of Harold’s property rich buddies. They sit casually, on stools at the bar. She hands him a contract to sign.
BOSS
This is what I like, good old fashioned pen to paper. Don’t need any of that fancy E-sign. Have you told Harold?
JESI
Told him what?
BOSS
That I caved in and gave you a shot at selling my property?
JESI
Yes I did, and he was thrilled.
BOSS
Sneaky old bastard. Now don’t you go giving him a finder’s fee. He’s got more money than God.
JESI
Of course not.
Jesi tucks the signed contract safely in her purse.
INT. YACHT CLUB (LONG BEACH) – NEXT EVENING
Jesi meets JOE SCHMIDT (80), at the same bar as the night before. He’s a little more conservative than his buddy Boss. He takes forever to read every line. Finally he picks up a pen and signs the many pages.
JOE SCHMIDTI
I was an engineer, you know. We’re a real pain in the ass when it comes to reading contracts.
JESI
(she knows this)
Absolutely not!
TIME LAPSE
Jesi and Joe are still at the bar. They have polished off a bottle of wine and the barman is opening another.
JOE SCHMIDT
Don’t you bringing me anything less than a full price offer, young lady.
JESI
I’ll do my best, Sir.
JOE SCHMIDT
When you sell this one I’ve got.
END MONTAGE:
ACT 3 – KEY SCENE #4 – Protagonist faces her lowest blow.
INT. JOHNSON RESIDENCE – NIGHT
Jesi walks in late, exhausted. Hears a noise in the living room, flicks on a light. Gerard stands in the center of the room with Champagne and two glasses. He pops the champagne, pours, then toasts.
GERARD LEBLANC
Here’s to Mr. & Mrs. Leblanc! Might they live forever after, and in harmony.
They swill the champagne, then fall onto the couch.
JESI
Wait, let’s turn on Sinatra.
GERALD LEBLANC
Sinatra can wait.
His kiss is hungry. She responds with the same. He helps her rip off her blouse. Neither one can wait any longer, as he lifts her skirt and they make hot, steamy love.
INT. HENRY’S OFFICE – NEXT DAY
Jesi enters, throws her new listing info onto Henry’s desk.
JESI
My seller just signed it. You’ve got a twenty-four hour first shot.
And that’s not all. I’m listing his Newport units next week.
SUPERIMPOSE: ONE MONTH LATER
INT. JESI’S PRIVATE OFFICE
Six months on the job, Jesi now occupies a private office. Michael enters, congratulates her.
MICHAEL
Congratulations, babe.
JESI
Thanks, I love my new office.
MICHAEL
Didn’t you hear? You just won “Rookie of the Year.” There’ll be an award celebration.
JESI
Oh shit! You’re kidding me.
Her cell lights up, it’s Gerald.
GERALD LEBLANC
Can i pick you up in an hour?
JESI
Hi — what for?
GERARD LEBLANC
I told you. We’re going to the courthouse, to get the marriage license.
JESI
Sorry, I’ve been so busy listing units, I forgot. You know, I can’t, not today — too busy.
GERALD LEBLANC
Hey baby, what’s more important than this. I put off surgery —
JESI
I’m sorry, not today. I just can’t.
GERARD LEBLANC
Okay, but it’s time we laid out a game plan to let everyone know. All this secrecy is not working for me. I don’t do well without structure. I need time frames. I need a date.
JESI
Sweetheart, I love you, and in my eyes we are already married.
GERALD LEBLANC
That’s not good enough. It’s not how the government sees it.
JESI
Ger, we’re married, goddamn it! Let that be enough for now.
GERALD LEBLANC
Let me know when you come to your senses.
Gerald ends the call.
-
ACT 3 MIDDLE SCENES
“What I learned doing this assignment is… I’m winging it now, not sure how it’s coming out, but forging on
SCENE 2
When Michael tries to have sex with her, she decides this is really not working, Juliet is feeling like a failure, nothing is working out, she is lost.
EXT. INEZ’S GARDEN DAY
Juliet sits in the shade in the garden, notebook in hand, on closer look we can see a page noted PROS /CONS with a line down the middle. On the con side we see curfews, house cleaning, babysitting, no privacy, rules, LARRY!!! On the pro side nothing.
JULIET
I don’t know why this is supposed to be a good idea, I don’t see anything good on either side! Hello universe, is anyone listening to me? I could use a little help here.
JULIA9 Juliet’s mom is coming round the back of the house.
Hello? Anyone here?
JULIET
Mom? What’s up, aren’t you ready to pop?
JULIA
Hello Juliet, yes, I believe I am. I thought I would come see how you are doing. Do you think you might be ready to come back home?
Juliet closes the notebook
JULIET
Gosh, Mom, I haven’t really given it a thought.
JULIA
Look, Honey, I just wanted to say I’m sorry I haven’t been focused on you lately. I know things are in a confusing state for you now with school over and trying to figuring out what you should do next… I know you will be 18 in a few months and well, well, I just want to let you know that I love you and I’m trying to do my best.
JULIET
yeah, sure Mom. Thanks. Do you want to come inside, Inez will be home soon, I’m sure she would love to see you.
they head indoors.
INT. INEZ’S HOUSE NIGHT
Juliet is reading a magazine in the living room, phone rings, she picks up
JULIET
Hello, Oh, hi Mel, Nah I think I’m gonna stay in. I know it sounds tempting but not tonight. I’ll see ya soon. K, later
Shuffling around, she makes tea, checks on Inez, who is sound asleep and can hear Madelyn snoring softly in the nearby room, with no doo, she puts the tv on. Intently watching a movie she hears the door to the apartment open, It’s Michael, looking a bit fuzzy around the edges, he must have been out drinking. He smiles broadly, very happy to see her, waves puts his fingers to his lips in a shush move, and creeps off to his room. She rolls her eyes and is happy to see him go.
She can hear him going in and out of the bathroom, then he is coming down the hall in his boxer shorts and no shirt. She moves closer to the door opening where Madalyn sleeps.
He slides in next to her, doesn’t say a word and starts stroking her leg.
Juliet
Whats up with youMichael?
MICHAEL
Shush, be quiet
JULIET
are you drunk?
MICHAEL
Maybe,I guess you would know!
JULIET
get away from me.
MICHAEL
AWWW, come on cuz! Be nice
JULIET
I’m not your cuz, and that would be even grosser!
she inches a bit more away from him, focused on the tv. He does nothing for the next few minutes. Then a commercial comes on and he makes his move again. He takes her hand and tries to put it on his dick which he has pulled out of his pants.
JULIET
EWWWW. Stop it you perve.
MICHAEL
Will you be quiet before you wake the whole house.
JULIET
OH, and that would be a shame, then your Mom would find out that her golden boy is a perve and a sex addict.
Michael
I’ll just tell her that you came on to me.
JULIET
Yeah, as you sit here in nothing but boxers, where did your clothes go? Don’t you have a girlfriend anyway?
MICHAEL
I don’t do things like this with her. She wants to wait till we are married.
JULIET
OH, right, well that sounds healthy! You are so messed up. Get the fuck out of my sight!
MICHAEL
You just better watch yourself, or I will make up a story even worse than this little episode and that will be the end of you.
JULIET
Oh nice one, retard. Why don’t you go back to your books, maybe learn something about a healthy relationship, your gonna need it.
He storms off, Juliet, goes and washes her hands
INT. DEPARTMENT STORE DAY
Juliet and Inez are out shopping
INEZ
Anything you want Monkey. You finished school and are about to set off in the world.
Juliet is eyeing a display of grey lace up front hot pants and multi-colored Missoni looking puff crop top.
Your mother will kill me but what else is new. I always say, if you’ve got it flaunt it, cos you won’t have it forever, as you can see!
JULIET
So far out! I just love them!
INEZ
No one can accuse you of not having style! Always be true to yourself my darling girl!
JULIET
Now let’s go pick something out for you.
INEZ
And where would I wear it?! They probably don’t have anything that fits me! Anyway, I’m ready to go, I hear a drink calling my name.
INT. INEZ’S CAR DAY (a Thunderbird)
JULIET
Well I have been doing some thinking and it might be time to go back home. You have been so sweet, but I’m sure you would like to have your old routine back. Plus I can’t really stomach Madalyn and her creepy son any longer. I don’t know how you do it. You are a saint.
INEZ
Oh no, far from it. Plus that would be too much pressure! Well, you must do what you must do Monkey, You know I would fight for you if you wanted.
JULIET
I think we both know it’s time I fight my own battles. Besides, I think Mom could use my help right now.
INEZ
I think you have been, I’m with you either way Monkey! Let me know when you are ready and I will drop you off.
JULIET
As soon as possible.
INEZ
OK, but is there something you are not telling me.
JULIET
NO! I think I would just like to sleep in my own bed again! Imagine that!
End scene
-
THIRTY DAY SCREENPLAY ASSIGNMENT 18
James E. Clark Act 3: Things go well… until.
What I learned from this assignment: Using specified key scenes keep me focused on the story line.
OUTLINE OF ACT 3 KEY SCENES
KEY SCENE 1 TE 9 & TE10
Beginning
EXT. CAMP – DAY
Carrie is at a table down by the lake. Her Bible is open. She prays asking for guidance in dealing with civilian life.
Carrie starts to treat the volunteers as her equals rather than like young sailors.
Middle
The volunteers start to include Carrie in their off time activities. She builds a relationship with a woman close to her age.
Nelson starts to see a change in Carrie
Nelson and Carrie spend time together and eat at the same dining hall table.
Carrie is manifesting more symptoms of her disease.
End
Carrie makes plans to complete her 50 state journey.
KEY SCENE 2 TE 11
Beginning
Carrie is on the road. She stops by a river and soaks her feet in the water as she lays on her back watching the birds and clouds fly by.
She thanks God for letting her go on this journey
Middle
Carries driving through a small Midwest town. A poor farming community. She passes a Christian school.
She notes the leaning flag pole, the tattered US and State flags.
Carrie stops at the hardware store. She gets the flags,, rope, paint and a bag of cement.
Carrie gets permission from the school. She unloads the materials.
End
Flagpole is completed and standing upright.
KEY SCENE 3 TE 12
Beginning
Back on the road. Carrie is in a campground for the night.
She tells God she’s still mad at him for cutting her life short. But, she understands He’s in charge, not her.
Middle
Carrie’s in a restaurant going over her map. She has six states left to complete her journey. She notes that the last three will be South Carolina, Georgia and Florida.
She heads for New Hampshire, Vermont and Maine are also unmarked
Carrie’s in Maine. She opens her map. Vermont and New Hampshire are done.
KEY SCENE 4 TE 13
End
Carrie is beginning to have increased mobility issues.
ACT 3 THINGS GO WELL… UNTIL.
KEY SCENES 2 & 3
KEY SCENE 2
EXT. CAMP OFFICE – DAY
Nelson prays for Carrie.
NELSON
Lord, keep Carrie safe in the road. Guide her heart, give her joy and wisdom. Protect her and bring her back safe.
EXT. CAMP ENTRANCE – DAY
Neslon watches as Carries bus turns onto the road and disappears. He slowly heads back to the office.
EXT. CAMPGROUND – DAY
Carrie is cleaning up from breakfast and packs her stuff in the bus. She walks down to a nearby creek, removes her shoes and soaks her feet in the water. She lays back watching the clouds move through the sky.
CARRIE
Your creation is beauty beyond compare. Your will be done.
INT. BUS – DAY
Carrie is approaching a small town. The City Limit sign says the population is 1867. She slows down to reach the speed limit. She passes a church with a small Christian school attached. She slows down as she drives by. The flag pole is leaning, it needs a coat of paint, the lanyard is frayed and the flags are ragged.
EXT. HARDWARE STORE – DAY
Carrie loads a can of paint, rope, a bag of cement and a new flag into her bus.
INT. SCHOOL OFFICE – DAY
Carrie and the Principal shake hands.
EXT. FLAG POLE – DAY
Carrie takes a picture of the flag pole
The flag pole is on the ground as Carrie sprat paints it.
LATER
Carrie places the flag pole in the hole, braces it with some wood and uses her level to make sure it’s straight. She takes a picture of the base and brace work. She walks about thirty feet away to make sure it looks okay. She takes another picture.
LATER
Carry is pouring mixed cement into the hole and smooths it over with a trowel. She takes a picture of the cement work
LATER
The students, faculty and staff raise the new flag.
The students give Carrie a bouquet of daisies. A little girl gives her a big hug. She takes a picture of them standing around the flag pole.
EXT. BOONDOCK SITE – NIGHT
Carrie sends the pictures to Nelson and the staff at camp.
INT. NELSON’S CABIN – NIGHT
He texts her back
TEXT: Well done, good and faithful servant.
KEY SCENE 3
EXT. TRUCK STOP – DAY
A large busy truck stop. Carrie leaves the bus carrying a gym bag.
INT. TRUCK STOP COFFEE SHOP – DAY
A man sitting at the counter watches as Carrie pays her bill, sees the sign for the showers and heads in that direction. Then man watches as another man follows Carrie toward the showers. The first man follows.
INT. SHOWER ROOM – DAY
Carrie checks her wet hair in the mirror. She grabs her gym back and unlocks the shower room door. As she opens the door, the man who followed her shoves her back into the shower room.
INT. HALL OUTSIDE OF SHOWER ROOM – DAY
Yelling and screaming from inside the shower.
INT. SHOWER ROOM -DAY
The man from the lunch counter bursts through the door. Carrie squares off against him. He puts his hands up.
MAN 1
I’m security.
Man 2 who followed her is on the floor blood all over his face.
MAN 2
She broke my nose and fingers.
MAN 1
Shut up or I’ll bust something else.
Carrie drops her Martial Art stance. She struggles to catch her breath.
EXT. RV PARK – NIGHT
Well populated RV park.
INT. BUS – NIGHT
Carrie sits at her table. She closes her Bible and prays.
CARRIE
I’m angry, at life and at You. I had plans. I wanted to have kids and grandkids. I wanted to enjoy me retirement. I know that my ways aren’t Your ways. I’ve tried to live my life for you and now you take it from me! WHAT DO YOU WANT?
EXT. CAMP SITE – DAY
Carrie is drinking her coffee. She has her map open. Six states are left for her to visit; Vermont, New Hampshire, Maine, South Carolina, Georgia and Florida.
EXT. MOUNT KATYDIN, MAINE – DAY
Carrie opens her map. Vermont and New Hampshire are marked off. She puts the map in the bus and starts walking toward the mountain.
EXT. TOP OF MOUNT KATYDIN – DAY
Sign reads Northern Terminus – Appalachian Trail.
EXT. TRAIL – DAY
Carrie’s half way down the mountain. He leg gives out and she stumbles. As she stands she has trouble breathing.
INT. BUS – DAY
Carrie is looking at her map. South Carolina, Georgia and Florida are the remaining states she hasn’t visited. A drop of blood from her nose falls on the map. She opens the ring box looking at her engagement ring. She taps Florida with her ring finger..
-
Mickey Gonzalez Act 3 Middle Scenes
What I learned doing this assignment is…am ready letting go and like to have it done so my story gets an ending. Hook all the act1 and act2 together for an ending. 25 to 30 pages
Outline Key Scenes 2 & 3.
EXT. TARMAC – DAY
Mark looks over the body of a helicopter as the pilot is inside.
One of the two pilots at the airport want him at an aerial shoot at the football hall of fame.
INT. MARK’S APARTMENT – NIGHT
What did Mark do with the guns. He had a couple of them taken from him by cops during his journey. He preps for a gunfight.
INT. FASHION MODELING SCHOOL – NIGHT
He is armed and ready to get at anyone who might cross him on his search for his missing collection.
Raquel is looking for it too. While trying to, getting to it she runs into some characters on the way.
He searches and Raquel does too. They are unaware of each other they meet up in the school office.
INT. DOCKING AREA – DAY
Mark wants his vast collection and a manuscript or book back.
Bob Petersen might have his manuscript published into a book already. A book review is going on.
INT. – NIGHT
He searches for anyone who might be involved.
-
Lesson 18
What I learned from this assignment:
This assignment helped me determine Michael’s role in the story.
Outline Key Scenes
Ext: Patterson NJ Street- Day
Kendra fights a losing battle with a military unit in Patterson NJ.
Ext: Poconos Safe House-Day
Jackson makes it to the safe house in the Poconos.
Key Scenes Makes a new plan:
Ext: Patterson NJ -Day
Kendra is trapped on a street in Patterson with a Military Unit. The group is about to give up when a large armored vehicle drives up and begins shooting the aliens. The aliens fall back, and the group celebrates a victory. The truck door opens, and Michael jumps out.
Things go well until: Jackson goes back to his house in philadelphia and his wife is gone.
-
JAYE’S ACT 3 MIDDLE SCENES
What I learned is that the middle of Act 3 turns the story to a new direction and heightens the stakes.
These middle scenes follow Villain after his meeting with the Mayor. We learn Villain is being tracked by the Mayor. The Mayor is corrupt, Hero can’t stop spiraling into evil, and Villain and Hero’s friendship has grown deeper.
INT. MAYOR’S OFFICE – SAME
Mayor sits at his desk. Scientist on the other side. Both men
leaning forward eagerly, listening, as Hero and Villain’s voice come
through a speaker on an instrument panel. A green light flashes.HERO (V.O.)
I’m changing. And I hate it.VILLAIN (V.O.)
You’ll get used to it. Might even
like it.Villain drinks.
HERO (V.O.)
That’s why I hate it.Scientist slides an earpiece across the desk.
SCIENTIST
For on the go.He hands Mayor a thin three-inch stick. It’s sleek, simple.
SCIENTIST (CONT’D)
You hear anything you don’t like…
if you think he’s writing… anything
that makes you doubt him, push
the button.Mayor flicks open the device with his thumb. The top third pops
open, revealing a tiny red button.SCIENTIST (CONT’D)
Don’t play with it.Mayor sighs. Closes the lid with a SNAP.
INT. HERO’S PENTHOUSE / LIVING ROOM – NIGHTVillain lays on the couch. Asleep.
A soft noise come from Hero’s bathroom. Sounds like a child
playing in the tub.Villain stirs.
INT. BATHROOM – SAME
Hero sits in a full tub of water. He immerses his head forward. He
lifts his head. Coughs. Chokes.On repeat.
INT. MAYOR’S BEDROOM – SAME
Mayor sleeps on his back. Snores.
The speaker on Mayor’s nightstand sits quiet. A solid red light
holds. Mayor snores.
Then the red light goes out. A green light begins flashing slowly.
The speaker turns on.
The Mayor sleeps.
Soon, the sounds of water splashing and muffled coughs come
through the speaker.Mayor snorts and roll on his side.
INT. HERO’S PENTHOUSE / BEDROOM
Villain stands outside the Master bathroom doorway, listening to
Hero lifting his head from the water and coughing on the other
side of the door.Villain drops his eyes. Touches his abdomen.
INT. HERO’S PENTHOUSE / MORNING
Hero an Villain finish breakfast. Half-eaten toast on their plates.
VILLAIN
What if we switch suits?HERO
It’s not the suit.Villain gives a look. Should at least try.
HERO (CONT’D)
You can see through things,
can’t you?Villain nods. Takes his plate to the sink. Hero takes out a pack of
cigarettes, removes one.HERO (CONT’D)
Not the suit.Villain turns back around. Hero lights up.
VILLAIN
What the fuck is that?HERO
What’s it look like?Hero takes a drag as Villain comes back to the table.
VILLAIN
I don’t smoke.Hero blows out. Takes another.
VILLAIN (CONT’D)
Your body is a temple.HERO
My body. Is. Shit.Villain rips the cigarette from Hero’s mouth as he goes for another
drag.HERO
What the f–VILLAIN
We’re going to my house.
EXT. STREET – MORNINGHero and Villain step out side by side in the path of an oncoming
Metro bus.
INT. BUS – SAMEA CONFUSED DRIVER brakes and PASSENGERS MURMUR. He
opens the doors and Hero steps in, Villain in tow.HERO
I’m commandeering this bus.The Confused Driver contorts his head.
CONFUSED DRIVER
Why?A LONE PASSENGER (30s), male, in the farthest seat, points and
laughs.LONE PASSENGER
Because he can’t fly!
Hero turns his head to the rider.VILLAIN
(to the driver)
You’re gonna want to get off
the bus.He starts after Hero. Hero closes in on the passenger, who has
frozen in fear. The others scatter and flee the bus.Villain grabs the back of Hero’s collar and pulls him forcefully
backward.Laser eyes carve into the ceiling of the bus as Hero’s line of sight is
pulled away by Villain.The driver rushes out.
The passenger grabs his backpack and climbs over seats and rails
to get by.Hero turns around to Villain. Enraged.
VILLAIN (CONT’D)
Control yourself!Hero throws a punch, an uppercut to the jaw.
The passenger gives one last glance and a whimper as he bolts
from the bus.
EXT. BUS – SAMEThe passengers watch as Hero and Villain duke it out: Villain
dragging Hero down the aisle, Hero flipping Villain over his
shoulder. Glass shatters. The sides of the bus getting dented
outward. More lasers shear the bus in half as onlookers scream
and run for cover.
INT. BUS – SAMEHero and Villain on their asses. Hero holds Villain in a headlock in
the aisle.VILLAIN
Look at yourself!Hero relaxes and Villain pushes away. He stands and takes in all
the damage.VILLAIN (CONT’D)
Look what you did!Hero sits there, looking at his feet.
Villain rushes in and straddles Hero, throwing him on his back and
forcing his head up. Villain holds Hero’s neck so Hero’s face stares
upward. The ceiling of the bus completely parted, revealing bright
blue sky.Villain grabs Hero’s collar and jerks him in.
VILLAIN (CONT’D)
You’re not becoming the Villain,
you’re becoming an asshole!Hero pushes Villain away. Villain stands.
EXT. STREET – MORNINGVillain steps in the path of an oncoming Metro bus. Through the
windshield, the SCARED DRIVER brakes.As Villain approaches, driver and passengers flee, and gather.
Villain indicates the all clear, and steps on.
Hero steps out from a corner and passengers GASP relived sighs.
PASSENGER 1 PASSENGER 2
Thank God! We’re saved!Hero gets on the bus and the doors close.
The sign switches to OUT OF SERVICE and the bus drives off.
PASSENGER 1
What the hell?
INT. MAYOR’S OFFICE – DAYMayor and Scientist listen to the speaker.
VILLAIN (V.O.)
You’re falling apart. You’re
becoming everything this shit
town thinks you are.HERO
Just shut up and drive.Mayor turns down the volume. Smiles ear to ear.
SCIENTIST
Looks like your problem is
solving itself.Mayor’s smile fades.
MAYOR
If you had done it right, I
wouldn’t have a problem that
needed to solve itself.SCIENTIST
Well obviously, it didn’t kill him.
This is probably the better
outcome.Mayor opens a desk drawer. Pulls out two small brown burlap bags.
MAYOR
You still failed.He tosses a burlap bag to Scientist.
MAYOR (CONT’D)
Time for lunch.INT. DIMLY LIT ROOM – DAY
A windowless room, with handing lights.
Four occupants: a Black Woman, Blonde Man, Asian Woman,
Male Latino, Bearded Hipster. All the missing citizens.Bearded Hipster paces. Black woman and Asian Woman play cards
at a card table. Male Latino and Blonde Man roll dice against a wall.In one corner, a toilet and single shower, with a hospital curtain
and a drain build into the ground.A NOISE calls their attention. The muffled sound of a door opening.
Another door, closer, louder. And finally, their door.Scientist enters, am AR-15 leading the way, a burlap bag with
eyeholes over his head. No one moves.Mayor follows. A bag over his head, carrying five sack lunches. He
closes the door behind him and starts tossing paper bags at his
guests.A bag lands at Bearded Hipster’s feet. It tears, and the contents
spill out: A ham sandwich, an apple, bag of chips, bottled water.BEARDED HIPSTER
I told you I’m organic, vegan,
gluten-free and keto.MAYOR
I have no idea what any of that is.BEARDED HIPSTER
It means I can’t eat this.MAYOR
There’s water.BEARDED HIPSTER
Bottled water is bad for the
environment.The others groan at him as they open their lunches.
MAYOR
Your toilet water is straight
from the city.BLONDE MAN
Just eat it, hippy. You’re gonna
starve.The Black Woman stands. Scientist point the AR-15 at her.
BLACK WOMAN
People are looking for us.Mayor laughs.
MAYOR
No one will find you.ASIAN MAN
Hero will.Mayor laughs harder.
MAYOR
Your hero is dead.The prisoners GASP in terror.
Mayor opens the door. Leaves. Scientist backs out. The door shuts. Locks.
EXT. THE LAKE – DAY
Hero and Villain stand at the water’s edge. The Metro bus parked
behind them.HERO
Thought you were taking me
to your house.VILLAIN
Later.HERO
Teach me to walk.Villain shakes his head. Walks into the water, his back to Hero.
VILLAIN
First, you swim.Hero takes reluctant steps into the lake.
BEGIN MONTAGE
[PLACEHOLDER]
END MONTAGE.
INT. VILLAIN’S CAVE – DAY
Villain and Hero at the entrance.
The lake stretches out beyond the cave’s opening. Hero looks
around.The cave is modern, wide-open, luxurious. The walls are natural,
sparking randomly with diamonds.Hero examines a wall of paintings, stands in front of a case filled
with artifacts. Hero stares with a mixture of awe and angst.VILLAIN
Beautiful, isn’t it?Hero picks up a vase. Caresses it. Its value is obvious.
HERO
Why do you do it?Villain picks up a trinket with the same care.
VILLAIN
Why does the snake bite?Hero puts down the vase. Looks further on. He goes to a cave wall
and runs his hand down it, tracing his finger over a diamond.HERO
Because it does.VILLAIN
You gotta keep fighting it.Hero picks at the diamond.
VILLAIN (CONT’D)
It’s not who you are.Hero turns.
HERO
What’s your name?Villain pauses. The question hits him hard.
VILLAIN
No one’s ever asked me that.HERO
I am.VILLAIN
Greg.LATER – NIGHT
Villain and Hero sit in chairs, across from each other, in front of a
roaring fireplace, drinking wine, laughing like old friends.INT. MAYOR’S OFFICE – SAME
Mayor and Scientist listen to the speaker. Mayor stares at Scientist,
confused, as Scientist watches the speaker like it’s a TV. Light jazz
emits softly in the background.HERO (V.O.)
SAYS SOMETHING FUNNY.VILLAIN (V.O.)
SAYS SOMETHING FUNNYBoth men laugh.
VILLAIN (V.O.)
To super powers.HERO (V.O.)
To super powers.The sound of wine glasses CLINKING together.
MAYOR
What the hell are they doing?Scientist finally turns his gaze. Stares matter-of-factly at Mayor.
SCIENTIST
I think they’re becoming friends.INT. VILLAIN’S CAVE – SAME
HERO
You ever ask yourself “why me?”VILLAIN
No.HERO
Me neither. Except now.Hero looks off in the distance, at nothing in particular.
HERO (CONT’D)
I never questioned who I was,
or why I was, until I lost
everything.VILLAIN
You haven’t lost everything.HERO
No one cares about me unless
I’m Hero.Villain looks at the floor. Has no words.
VILLAIN
I’m proud of you.Hero furrows his brow.
VILLAIN (CONT’D)
You’re still fighting. You still
care about them.Villain raises a glass to Hero.
VILLAIN
And you learned how to swim
today.Hero doesn’t seem to care for the victory.
HERO
Almost.VILLAIN
More practice tomorrow.A beat.
VILLAIN (CONT’D)
What’s your name?
Hero chuckles.
HERO
You know, no one’s ever asked
me either.Villain scoffs.
VILLAIN
Come on. What about your
girlfriend?Hero shakes his head.
HERO
Mike.Villain nods. Another raise of the glass.
VILLAIN
Nice to meet you, Mike.Hero raises his glass.
HERO
Nice to meet you, Greg.Glasses CLINK and they drink. Hero sits up, alert.
HERO (CONT’D)
Hey, I got you something!Villain blinks, surprised. Hero leans in. Villain also leans in.
Hero reaches behind his back and lefts his right leg. He lets out a
loud FART as he presents and empty hand to Villain.Villain recoils; gags. Hero laughs.
HERO (CONT’D)
You think I got you a present?Villain shakes his head and waves an arm in front of his face.
VILLAIN
Ugh, I tasted it!Hero nods, proud of himself and sits back, satisfied as Villain chugs
wine.INT. VILLAIN’S CAVE – MORNING
Villain sleeps. A penis sketched on his forehead. He wakes to the
sound of splashing water and frustrated grunts come from outside.He turns to the cave’s entrance, past his couch with a pillow and
crumpled sheets. He sees Hero dunking going under water and
bobbing back up.EXT. CAVE – MORNING
Villain watches, holding a steaming cup of coffee.
VILLAIN
How long you been up?Hero turns around.
HERO
Not long.VILLAIN
I have an idea.EXT. A CLIFF – DAY
Hero and Villain stand atop a cliff. Boxer shorts, undershirts. Lake
below. They stand at the very edge. The penis is still on Villain’s
forehead.Hero’s arm is extended.
Villain scans the water. X-ray vision reveals a steel case about a mile
out, and 30 meters down. His face is void of expression.Hero nudges him.
HERO
Concentrate.Villain extends his arm; closes his eyes.
HERO (CONT’D)
You are part of the sky. And
the sky is part of you.Villain peeks.
VILLAIN
Is this what you do?HERO
No, I just fucking do it. But I
don’t know how to make you
do it. Concentrate.Villain closes his eyes.
VILLAIN
I am the sky.Hero looks forward. Closes his eyes.
HERO
(to himself)
I am the sky.VILLAIN
The sky is me.HERO
Three…VILLAIN
Do I jump?Hero snaps out of his chi.
HERO
No, just lean. Forcefully.VILLAIN
Lean.HERO
Forcefully.Hero brings his arm back up. Closes his eyes. Takes a deep breath.
Villain duplicates.VILLAIN
I am the sky.HERO
Three… two…Hero and Villain lean forward with force and they sail to the water
like boulders.SPLASH!
INT. LAKE – CONTINUOUS
Hero and Villain stare at each other underwater. Villain brings his
hands to his face, indicating a deep breath, while holding his own.Hero closes his eyes. Trying to “be the water.” He inhales, then
shakes his head and swims to the surface.EXT. LAKE – CONTINUOUS
Villain pops up. Hero is coughing. They tread.
HERO
If you fail, you still live. If I fail,
I drown.VILLAIN
I don’t know of another way.Hero dog-paddles to shore. Villain follows.
Hero sits on the ground, legs pulled to his chest as Villain emerges
from the water.HERO
What’s that?Villain follows Hero’s line of sight — to his abdomen! The right side
of Villain’s undershirt is raised. The wound is healed, but the staples
remain.Villain pulls the shirt down.
VILLAIN
I don’t want to talk about it.
(beat)
Come on, we need to try again.HERO
You got something–Hero points to his own brow. Villain rubs his forehead, smearing
the penis a little.VILLAIN
I get it?Hero half nods.
HERO
Eh.EXT. A CLIFF – DAY
Hero and Villain run off the top of the cliff. They WHOOT! and
jump off the edge, cannon-ball style. Creating massive splashes!INT. MAYOR’S OFFICE – SAME
Mayor stands. Angry.
WHOOTS and splashing come from the speaker.
MAYOR
I’ve had enough. Let’s go.Scientist nods. Stands. Reluctant.
INT. VILLAIN’S CAVE / BATHROOM – LATE AFTERNOON
Villain’s bent over a sink, scrubbing his forehead. He pops up and
checks the mirror. Loofa in hand.The penis is nearly gone, just the edge of some balls remain.
Villain brings the loofa up and scrubs some more.
But his eyes notice something by the mirror.
Several diamonds scattered in the wall. One has been dug out.
Villain traces his finger over the small crater. His eyes showing his
disappointment.HERO (O.S.)
More than two shakes and
you’re playing with it!Villain keeps scrubbing.
-
Christi’s Act 3 Middle Scenes
I learned that I had my 3rd key scene wrong. With some reworking, I’ve created a proper reaction to what’s happened. I’ve added more scenes as well. I may break 100 pages yet!
Log in to reply.