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Post Day 20 Assignment Here
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Lesson 20: Finish Act 3
ASSIGNMENT
BG’s Completed Act 3
What I learned doing this assignment: I’m trying to stick to the plan and keep up. Some middle scenes are still missing their dialogue and descriptions and look like they did on the Beat Sheet.
A CLUB FOR PATRIOTS
ACT 3 DRAFT 1
BG’s Act 3 Reaction to Midpoint
Write Act 3 Key Scene 1: React/Rethink the new reality revealed by the Midpoint!
INT. ST. MICHAEL CONFERENCE ROOM – DAY
Five men and one woman are buzzing around with wands, scanning all the walls, furniture, equipment, anything they can reach. They are AGENTS from MI6. They don’t look like James Bond. Billionaire hovers like a mother hen.
AGENT 1: Clear!
AGENT 2: This room is clean, sir.
Billionaire looks relieved.INT. CORRIDOR OUTSIDE ST. MICHAEL CONFERENCE ROOM – DAY
In the distance, Hostess turns the corner and disappears.INT. GERMAN INTELLIGENCE AGENCY – DAY
Intelligence agency boiler room. Agents working at their desks. Screens all around. One GERMAN AGENT feels a slight buzz in his pocket. Checks his phone and stands up. He does look like James Bond. He leaves the room.EXT. GERMAN INTELLIGENCE AGENCY – DAY
Beautiful grounds surround the agency buildings. German Agent sits on the grass under some 100 year old trees, talking on his phone.INT./EXT. HOSTESS’S CAR NEARBY STREET – DAY
Hostess in her car with cellphone to her ear.
HOSTESS: Bees buzzing in the hive. Damn bees! They will sting me one day!
GERMAN AGENT (on Hostess’s phone): Talk is yellow jackets from across the pond got a whiff of a high-latitude flower.
HOSTESS: I’ll have to figure out something to distract them away from the mule.INT. ENERGY MOGUL’S LONDON PAD – DAY
Killed and stuffed animal heads adorn the walls. Lots of horns. Energy Mogul has propped up his right leg and talks on the phone.
ENERGY MOGUL: I’m planning to walk a little in the park today. Need exercise.EXT. HYDE PARK – DAY
Energy Mogul walks slowly under the trees. He has a slight limp. Next to him is a nondescript man, wearing glasses, a cap and an expensive light trench coat. He is ASSASSIN. They seem to know each other well.
ENERGY MOGUL: He’s such an idiot. It’s always his club, his precious conference room, his plan! He thinks he is emperor of the world!
Assassin walks with a blank face.
ENERGY MOGUL: I don’t like smart people! They are dangerous!
Assassin finally sneaks a sideways glance, as if to say, This idiot doesn’t seem to think I’m smart.
ASSASSIN: I thought no bugs were found.
ENERGY MOGUL: Doesn’t matter, I know that young man did it! I told him! I said that young man is too smart, too good-looking. Get rid of him! Does he listen to me? Nooo! He’s such an idiot!
He turns to the Assassin.
ENERGY MOGUL: I guess he likes him because the young punk is smart!
ASSASSIN: What would you like me to do?
ENERGY MOGUL: I don’t want you to kill him or anything. Just break every bone in his body. I want him in the hospital for a year! Out of my hair! Until this opportunity is over.
ASSASSIN: Yes, sir.
ENERGY MOGUL: Let him choose his own damn wine!
Energy Mogul’s limp has become more pronounced. Assassin slows down.
ASSASSIN: Leg bothering you, sir?
ENERGY MOGUL: Damned gout! He serves me roast pheasant! Every time! I know he’s doing it deliberately – I know it! He knows I can’t resist it and that it causes my gout to flare up! I know it!
He frowns.
ENERGY MOGUL: And make it look like he was mugged.BG’s Act 3 Middle Scenes
1. Outline Key Scenes (Act 3 Middle Scenes).
INT. KITCHEN – THE CLUB – DAY
MI6 agents’ early-morning visit to sweep for bugs has created excitement among the kitchen staff. When Reporter walks in, a waitress rushes to him and gushes, “They were everywhere, Monsieur! But they didn’t find anything!” Reporter looks concerned, then surprised. His eyebrows go up slightly – brain whirring, puzzle pieces jumping around, assembling themselves into a coherent picture. He spots Hostess approaching. He hastily moves behind a group of workers to avoid being seen. and leaves by the rear exit.EXT. PARKING LOT OFF BUSTLING STREET – LONDON – NIGHT
INT. GERMAN INTELLIGENCE AGENCY – NIGHT
Parking lot in a congested area some distance from both The Club and Hostess’s flat. Hostess, sitting in her car with an unusual-looking laptop and some equipment, sends an encrypted message to her control, German Agent. She then plants evidence remotely into Hacker’s electronics equipment, in order to deflect Intelligence agencies away from Reporter.INT. CIA CONFERENCE ROOM LANGLEY – DAY
CIA deciphers traces of a British hacker’s phone number and new references to Northstar in monitored transatlantic communications. They discuss the legal advantages of capturing a foreign citizen as opposed to an American reporter.INT./EXT. CIA SAFE HOUSE – NIGHT
INT./EXT. VAN – CIA SAFE HOUSE – NIGHT
Scottish moors. A black MI6 van speeds toward a dark, lonely-looking house, looming in the distance. In the van, Hacker lies unconscious with two boxes full of his electronics equipment by his side. An American rendition team sits in front.INT./EXT. REPORTER’S HOTEL ROOM — NIGHT
Reporter can’t get through to his friend Hacker. He leaves his room with some tools.INT./EXT. HACKER’S APARTMENT — NIGHT
Reporter climbs up to Hacker’s flat. Easier this time. He jimmies open a window, and goes in. He finds it ransacked. And all of Hacker’s electronics equipment are missing.EXT. DARK STREET NEAR REPORTER’S FLAT – NIGHT
On the way back to his own flat, Reporter is attacked from behind by Assassin. He topples Assassin down. As the guy, surprised, tries to right himself, Reporter kicks Assassin’s head, knocking him out. Then, Reporter kicks again — he’s really pissed! He bends down and whispers, Skipped your Elementary Mechanics class, didn’t you?INT. KITCHEN – THE CLUB – DAY
Next morning, Reporter is really cold toward Hostess, who has come to the kitchen to talk to him. He evades her attempts to talk.EXT. PARKING LOT OFF BUSTLING STREET – LONDON – NIGHT
That evening, Reporter follows Hostess to the parking lot. Inside her car, Hostess starts to set up her secure laptop and her gear on the passenger-side seat. Reporter looks in through the window. He recognizes the equipment – their images had zipped by on his screen while researching listening devices in his hotel room. He knocks on the window. Hostess looks surprised, but moves her gear to her lap and unlocks the door. Reporter slides into the passenger seat and says, Why don’t we talk here?BG’s Act 3 Turning Point
2. Write Turning Point 3 – Protagonist faces their lowest low.
INT.HOSTESS’S CAR – PARKING LOT – NIGHT
Reporter motions toward her communications gear.
REPORTER: Intelligence agency grade gear.
It’s not a question, it’s a statement.
HOSTESS: You read a lot, don’t you?
REPORTER: You removed the bug from the conference room.
Hostess looks uncertain — it’s a first.
REPORTER: Russian agent, huh?
HOSTESS: No, German.
REPORTER: German!
Hostess no longer looks uncertain.
HOSTESS: We, too, are trying to stop this plot.
(beat)
HOSTESS: We don’t want to buy expensive LNG. We want the cheap Russian gas. Billionaire’s group wants us to buy their expensive LNG. See, they want to start a war and blame Russia. Then, the German public won’t be able to resist pressure from some of our allies to give up the cheap Russian gas and buy the expensive LNG! They want us, the Germans, to take one for the team!
REPORTER: Yes, I figured out that much. But why me? Why didn’t you send your tip to a real journalist? Why me?
HOSTESS: I assume by real journalist, you mean big media. They wouldn’t have printed it. New York Times, Washington Post, The Guardian, they are all pro war. They believe war is necessary to take Russia down a peg and perpetuate the Western-led world order.
REPORTER: You used me.
HOSTESS: I chose you. I wanted a scientist, a thinker, not a bought-and-paid-for Western journalist.
REPORTER: My friend is missing.
Hostess remains silent.
REPORTER: Did you have something to do with that?
HOSTESS: I can help you find him. I know some people. You help me, I help you.INT. RECOVERY ROOM – CIA SAFE HOUSE – NIGHT
Small, understaffed operation. No expensive monitors or equipment around. Hacker lies unconscious on a gurney. Roughed up. Skin around his closed eyes is a ghastly blue-black.INT. OFFICE OF STATION CHIEF – CIA SAFE HOUSE – NIGHT
STATION CHIEF sits at her desk, sifting through piles of paper. Looks like this lady hasn’t been promoted in ages. A harried-looking DOCTOR enters.
DOCTOR: Look, I don’t think I’ll be able to get anything more out of him. Short of drowning him, I guess. He insists he didn’t hack or send any hacked materials to Reporter. He just saw some of the stuff that was sent to Reporter. Does not know by whom.
STATION CHIEF: Well, I don’t believe him. Keep on trying.
DOCTOR: He doesn’t look good. We’ll all look bad if he has a cardiac arrest or something.
STATION CHIEF: We’ll look worse if we fail.-
This reply was modified 3 years, 4 months ago by BG ERENGIL.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 4 months ago by
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Don Thompson’s Completed Act 3
What I learned: the ‘lowest point’ of the protagonist occurs in this section of this script. The structural breakdown is working.
The Captain observes. He takes his pulse, then turns to Seymour.
VERE
Check him.
Seymour takes his pulse.
SEYMOUR
He’s quite dead.
Claggart turns to Radcliff.
VERE
Go get the doctor. Not a word about this as you do! Not a word!
Radcliff rushes out. Vere again checks his pulse and slaps him.
VERE
Claggart! Claggart!
Seymour looks on.
SEYMOUR
He’s quite dead, Captain.
CAPTAIN
Mr. Seymour, take Mr. Budd and Mr. Squeak below to detention, then return here immediately.
Billy is now able to speak.
BILLY
I didn’t mean to kill him, Captain. Just to shut him up.
Vere waves him on.
CAPTAIN
Go with Seymour and wait. We’ll sort this out.
Seymour leaves with Billy and Squeak. Radcliff returns with the SHIPS DOCTOR (50).
VERE
(to the Doctor) Check him.
The doctor leans down and checks his pulse and vitals.
DOCTOR
What happened?
VERE
One of the men gave Claggart a single blow to the head. Certainly not enough to kill him.
DOCTOR
I’m sorry Captain, I have to disagree. Your man levied his blow at precisely the right place to cause this man to hemorrhage.
Vere can’t believe it.
VERE
Astounding. I’ve never seen such a thing.
DOCTOR
I’ve seen it once before. It was in a wrestling match when one of the fighters became so angry he struck his opponent just like this and his opponent was Immediately dead.
RADCLIFF
Billy probably did us a favor, Captain.
Vere is incensed.
VERE
Will you shut up man! Do you even understand what you just said!
Radcliff lowers his eyes.
CAPTAIN
I’m sorry, Captain. My sincerest apologies.
Seymore returns.
The Captain directs them toward a small table and each pulls up a chair.
VERE
Now, Gentlemen, what the hell do we do?
Seymour eyes over the Captain.
SEYMOUR
We don’t have many options, sir, in my opinion.
But if we take action against Budd, we actually do risk a mutiny.
VERE
So Claggart was right?
SEYMOUR
But he brought it about, the bastard!
Vere rubs his face with his hands.
VERE
Radcliff?
RADCLIFF
We have to let Budd free. He was clearly not intending to kill Claggart. No one will miss the man. We just need to concoct some story about what happened. And hold Squeak in custody until we can make sure he won’t talk to the others.
Vere ponders.
VERE
I don’t believe any of you quite grasp what has happened.
Beat.
VERE
We need to execute Budd. We need to do it now.
SEYMOUR
Execution, sir? On what grounds?
VERE
He’s broken the law. He has struck an officer of rank and killed him dead on the spot. We can’t leave that unanswered.
Beat.
SEYMOUR
Well, perhaps. But there is the practicality of the situation.
VERE
Practicality!? There’s nothing practical about a lower-ranking sailor striking an officer dead.
RADCLIFF
In civilian courts, it would certainly be considered manslaughter.
Beat.
VERE
This is not a civilian court. This is a Man-Of-War ship on its way to reinforce the King’s navy on the coast of Spain. There’s a slight difference.
Silence.
RADCLIFF
Agreed.
Beat.
SEYMOUR
There may be a higher law at work, sir, than the military justice you seek.
VERE
Explain.
SEYMOUR
The rule of law is contextual, sir. It is not fixed. Using such logic, a soldier may kill without being accused of murder. And the military code clearly gives officers, particularly commanding officers, discretion and latitude in assessing any given situation and making an appropriate response.
Beat.
VERE
Continue.
SEYMOUR
Budd is well-liked among the men. He is, in fact, perhaps the most popular man on board this ship, with the possible exclusion of the cook – on a good day that is.
VERE
But we are not at war with ourselves. We are at war with the French.
Silence.
SEYMOUR
This is an internal battle we are experiencing sir. Not to be overly dramatic about it, but a battle for the soul of this ship. My vote is that Budd should be the emblem of what that means.
VERE
That’s all very pretty sounding, Mr. Seymour, but I must say you’ve been reading too much philosophy.
We are at war, we are the military, an impressed man struck an officer and killed him. He must be executed. It’s as simple as that.
Vere stands up, walks to the rear of his office, and looks out the window.
VERE
Gentlemen, I appreciate your input. I sincerely do. But we will hang Budd, and we will do it within the hour.
He turns around.
VERE
Mr. Radcliff, I order you to carry this out. And I order you to do it now.
Radcliff stands, salutes the Captain, and leaves. Seymour and the Captain are left alone.
VERE
Mr. Seymour, I know you disagree, but someday you will find wisdom in my choice. If we are not a nation of laws then we are nothing and will devolve into chaos. I will not let that happen on this ship.
Mr. Seymour stands as well and salutes the Captain and leaves.
SEYMOUR
Yes sir.
Seymour leaves.
The Captain looks out his window toward the ocean. He turns around. There stands Danskar. The Captain GASPS.
VERE
Good god, man! What are you doing here?
DANSKAR
You called for me.
Vere recollects.
VERE
Yes, I suppose I did. I don’t need you now.
DANSKAR
But don’t you want to know about Billy’s feelings toward Claggart?
VERE
It doesn’t matter now. Do you know what just conspired here?
Danskar nods his head ‘no’.
VERE
Good. Then back to your station.
Danskar continues to look at the Captain.
DANSKAR
Don’t kill Billy.
VERE
How do you know we intend to kill him?
DANSKAR
I can feel it in the air.
Beat.
DANSKAR
It won’t go over well. The men love him.
VERE
I didn’t ask for your opinion, did I?
DANSKAR
I’m givin’ it. They love him. You don’t want to kill that love.
VERE
My good man, if you don’t leave within 10 seconds I’ll have you taken to the brig.
Danskar continues to stare at him. He nods, and leaves.
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Janeen’s Completed Act 3
What I learned doing this assignment is that having the beats and scenes needed to tie them together outlined up front made it easy to have some continuity in the act. I didn’t have to add anything, but did a few spelling corrections, etc.
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Peter Birdsong’s Completed Act 3
What I learned: I need index cards. When I take myself through this again next time, I will use index cards to sort out my scenes.
I/E. YACHT – DAY
Carly stands next to the mast looking up the length towering above her. The book is closed in her hand, a finger stuck inside marking a page.
She opens it quickly. Reads.
Eyes back on the mast. At the top she notices the ANEMOMETER spinning. Her hair kicks up on a small gust of air.
Carly looks in the direction of the wind.
Eyes back to the book. She slams the book shut, and moves to the helm.
She holds her hands up defining to herself the direction of the boat and the wind.
CARLY
(to herself)
Broad reach. We’re going to do a broad reach.
She retrieves a HAND CRANK from under the seat.
CARLY
(to herself)
I hope.
She attaches the crank to one of the WINCHES.
CARLY
(to herself)
Do I raise the mainsail or position the boom first?
(beat)
Screw it. Mainsail.
She CRANKS! CLICK-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K!
Carly watches the material rise smoothly up the mast. As it does, wind catches it in each section causing it to billow out like a sheet in a summer breeze.
The winch CLICKS on final time. Carly moves to a second winch and cranks! CLICK-K-K-K-K-K-K!
The mainsail BOOM pivots off the MAST sending its end off the port-side of the vessel.
The MAINSAIL swells! Carly look at the display.
Display: 3 KNOTS
CARLY
The jib.
Carly moves to a third winch. She grabs a line, double checks where it runs, and quickly wraps the line around a winch.
She grabs a second line. She studies it in her hand, and follows its path with her eyes. She drops it and chooses another. Following it’s path she sees the line continue to the bow.
CARLY
This has to be it. The hell do it know.
She pulls the line around the winch as she gives slack to the second line. The winch smoothly GRINDS effortlessly feeding more line to her as she pulls.
Ahead, a triangular SHEET unfurls off the BOW. As it grows it reaches to the top of the mast.
The line becomes taught, and Carly secures it.
She look up at the sails. The JIB sail hangs limp, its corners flapping. Carly frowns.
Carly takes the WHEEL and turns. The boat yaws in the water, and the jib suddenly fills with wind!
DISPLAY: 8 KNOTS
EXT. ATLANTIC OCEAN – DAY
The catamaran races on the surface of the ocean.
I/E. YACHT – DAY
Carly engages the autopilot. The wheel takes over on its on. Carly sits back and crosses her arms. She watches satisfied.
INT. SALON – DAY
Carly looks at the display at the NAV STATION. Studying their position closely.
INT. CABIN – DAY
Carly lifts her mattress and pulls out her map. She unfolds the Atlantic Ocean and draws an “X.” She stares at her map looking at the previous X’s marked along their route.
She opens the map further. The Mediterranean. She opens more. Carly pushes her pillows out of the way and spreads the map wide on her bed.
She stands over it turning her CHEAP COMPASS in her hand. There was the Indian Ocean. The islands of the South Pacific. The Caribbean. Their trip suddenly seemed so small.
EXT. OCEAN – DAY
The fishing line dips suddenly.
INT. SALON – DAY
Carly watches the waves through the window, still turning her CHEAP COMPASS in her fingers.
I/E. YACHT – DAY
The reel on the rod CLICK. Then… ZZZZZZZZZ!
The line takes off!
INT. SALON
ZZZZZZZZZZZ!
Carly shoots her gaze at the line.
CARLY
Oh my God. Mom? MOM!
She rushes for the doors.
I/E. YACHT – DAY
Carly makes it to the rod, and looks it over confused. She looks out into the water. The line shoots off sideways suddenly!
Carly darts back into…
INT. SALON
And quickly moves down the steps to her mother’s cabin.
BANG BANG! She knocks!
CARLY
Hey!
The door swings open. Laurel looks confused and tired. Carly is taken back for a minute.
CARLY
Hey.
LAUREL
What?
CARLY
What? Oh… fish. FISH!
Laurel’s eyes go wide and she pushes past daughter!
I/E. YACHT
Laurel runs to the rod as the line spools out!
CARLY
I’ll take the wheel.
LAUREL
Are you sure?
CARLY
Yes! Set the hook this time!
LAUREL
What?
CARLY
I don’t know, I read it. I figured you’d know!
LAUREL
No!
Laurel locks the reel and it SNAPS to a stop. She begins to work the reel. Laurel screams trying to reel it in!
CARLY
What?
LAUREL
It’s heavy! Damn heavy! Help me!
CARLY
What about the boat?
LAUREL
Forget it! Help!
Carly runs down to her mother.
CARLY
What do I do?
Laurel turns the crank but it’s slow going.
CARLY
Don’t lose it.
LAUREL
What do you think I’m trying to do?
CARLY
Okay! Okay.
Laurel pulls on the crank, but she can barely get it to budge!
LAUREL
I can’t. It’s too heavy.
CARLY
Give it slack.
LAUREL
What?
CARLY
I’ve seen that before. Give it slack and then reel.
LAUREL
Get behind the rail.
CARLY
What?
LAUREL
We’re going to do this together and I don’t want this thing pulling us into the water.
Carly braces herself against the rail, and grabs hold of the rod. Laurel lifts the rod out of it’s bracket and the whole things jerks hard!
They hold on, screaming against the strength of their catch!
LAUREL
Pull!
They pull together, and then loosen reeling line in as they do.
LAUREL
Again!
They pull! Carly bracing her stance wide. They relax and Laurel reels!
LAUREL
Keep going!
They tug!
Laurel reels!
LAUREL
Again!
PULL! REEL!
CARLY
We’re doing it!
LAUREL
Pull!!
They pull again! The fish jumps!
CARLY
Holy shit!!
LAUREL
I know!! PULL!
They pull together! Laurel reels as fast as she can!
CARLY
The net!
LAUREL
I don’t think it’s going to fit!
They pull again and Laurel reels!
LAUREL
Grab the gaff.
CARLY
The what?
LAUREL
Pull!
They pull again!
LAUREL
See that poll with the hook mounted to the rail?
Carly reaches for it, and Laurel feels the rod slip!
LAUREL
Wait!
Carly grabs her mother and the rod.
CARLY
What’s the plan?
LAUREL
I’m not losing this rod. It was expensive.
CARLY
One of us has to let go!
LAUREL
Move back to the bracket. On three. One. Two. Three.
Together they shuffle back to the bracket and push the rod inside locking it in place.
Carly grabs the GAFF of the rail. Studying the hook on the end…
CARLY
I’m afraid to ask.
The fish is close. They see it fighting the line not ten feet off the boat.
LAUREL
Well… you need to step down there and pull the fish onboard.
CARLY
How!?
LAUREL
You stab it with the hook.
CARLY
WHAT!?
LAUREL
Or you can reel it in closer.
Carly looks at the rod, then the gaff. There’s a lanyard on the handle. She loops it around her wrist.
CARLY
I can do this.
Carly steps down to the starboard aft. She’s just over the water now. The fish dragging just out of reach.
CARLY
I can do this.
LAUREL
Get ready!
CARLY
Shit… I’m going to do this.
Carly extends the gaff and hits the water. Miss!
CARLY
Closer!
LAUREL
(grunting)
Trying!
Carly tries again. Splash! MISS!
CARLY
I can’t reach it! We’re going to lose it!
Carly reaches and slams the gaff down! It smacks and jerks in her hand.
CARLY
I got it. I GOT IT!
The gaff goes wild and Carly grabs hold with both hands.
LAUREL
Pull!!
Carly summons every bit of upper-body strength she owns and hauls onboard the largest fish the two have ever seen!
They both breathe a sign of relief. The mahi-mahi flops and Carly SCREAMS!
Laurel sinks to the deck breathing hard and leaning against the boat.
LAUREL
Drag it up here.
Carly stumbles to her feet and began to pull the large fish up to the main deck.
Laurel pulls herself up and walks to the doors.
INT. SALON
Laurel opens a drawer and retrieves a long knife.
I/E. YACHT
Laurel emerges, knife in hand.
CARLY
What are you going to do?
LAUREL
You’re going to-uh-you’re going to make a deep cut just behind the–
CARLY
The hell I am!
LAUREL
Well! Are you just going to let it lay there and die?
CARLY
I had considered it! Why don’t you do the-the deep cut thing?
LAUREL
I reeled it in.
CARLY
I hauled it in!
LAUREL
And now you can finish the job.
Laurel holds the knife out to Carly. The fish FLOPS near her feet.
CARLY
I’m not cooking or cutting it up.
LAUREL
Fine.
CARLY
Fine.
Laurel is still holding the knife.
LAUREL
Carly.
CARLY
OKAY! Okay…
She takes the knife.
CARLY
Where?
LAUREL
Just behind the head. You’re severing the spin.
CARLY
Have you–have you done this?
LAUREL
Of course not. The man who sold the rod told me.
Carly leans down. The fish jumps causing Carly to SCREAM and jump up!
CARLY
Shit! Shit! Shit!
LAUREL
We’re going to talk about your unladylike language later.
CARLY
Oh like THIS is lady like!
Carly bends down again. She’s close now. She positions the knife… and pushes. The blade sinks deep and the fish relaxes.
BLOOD flows onto the deck.
CARLY
Jesus! This. Is. Disgusting.
(beat)
There. Done.
Carly looks up and sees her mother with her hands over her face.
CARLY
You’re hiding!?
LAUREL
Yes. Sorry.
(beat)
Nice work!
INT. SALON – NIGHT
A fully cooked fish filet steams on a plate in front of Carly.
She cuts into it and forks a bite. She slowly puts it into her mouth.
LAUREL
Better than beans.
Carly’s eyes roll up as she relishes the taste.
CARLY
Much.
Laurel holds her glass up. Carly pauses mid-chew and looks at her questioningly.
LAUREL
Our first fish.
Carly considers this for a moment. She take her glass and DINGS her mom’s.
They both drink.
CARLY
I took your book.
LAUREL
Oh?
Carly studies her.
CARLY
You didn’t notice?
LAUREL
Yes.
CARLY
I’m just thinking… we both have places we’re trying to get to.
Laurel sips her drink, but remains silent.
CARLY
If I help, maybe… Maybe we’ll get this trip done and we can both get where we want to go.
LAUREL
To California?
CARLY
Yeah. Well, and you your big CEO job.
Laurel considers this. She feigns a smile and raises her glass. Carly raises hers.
LAUREL
Sounds like a deal.
CARLY
Okay.
INT. SALON – MOMENTS LATER
Carly has the book open in front of her. She has a sailing LINE in her hand and she’s turning it to form a loop. Studying the book closely, she snakes the other end around, and then through. She pulls it tight in a perfect bowline knot.
INT. SALON – DAY
Carly sits at the NAV STATION studying the digital chart on the screen. She looks back at the book, then the chart again. She takes down a note in the book, and underlines some text.
She heres a noise and looks up through the sunroof that gives her a view of the mainsail above. She watches it noticing the top-quarter fluttering.
I/E. YACHT – DAY
Carly stands at the helm watching the sail above. She touches the wheel. Then, she gently takes hold.
Carly looks upward again, and then at the horizon. She breathes and looks at the sail again.
Carly turns the wheel. It easy, and it responds to her. The boat yaws port and the flapping of the sail becomes louder!
Carly turns starboard. The sail fills out completely.
She hangs on keeping the course straight on its new direction.
She taps the computer to re-engage the auto-pilot. The boat steer port returning to it’s original heading.
The mainsail begins to flap.
Carly inspects the lines leading up the boat to the mast. She opens the book.
I/E. YACHT – DAY
Barefoot and at the base of the mast, Carly continues to inspect how things are setup. She frequently looks back at the book and then the mast again.
She slams the book shut and moves carefully back to the helm station. She grabs a single line and pulls.
The sail responds moving the BOOM slightly. The mainsail fills completely and the flapping stops.
Satisfied, she locks down the line.
LAUREL
Hey.
Her mother stands in the opening to the Salon.
CARLY
Hey.
LAUREL
You good?
CARLY
All good.
Laurel glances around a little as if checking to be sure.
LAUREL
Okay.
Laurel makes a move to head back inside.
CARLY
I… thought I could take a shift.
LAUREL
That would be great.
CARLY
Yeah?
LAUREL
You know what to do?
CARLY
I think so. Watch the sails. Watch other boats. Make sure we’re pointed the right way. Anything else?
LAUREL
That’s about all I know too. If you learn something new, please share.
CARLY
Okay.
Laurel disappears into the salon. Carly turns her attention back to the helm. She takes a seat.
It’s hers now.
CARLY
Okay.
EXT. ATLANTIC OCEAN – DAY
The blue waters stretch endlessly in every direction. The 45 foot catamaran, small on the water, moves effortlessly over the waves.
I/E. YACHT – SUNSET
Carly stands near the front of the boat, watching the sun just kiss the horizon. Her hair flows free in the wind.
Ocean spray occasionally hits her face, but she doesn’t seem to mind.
At the helm, Laurel watches her daughter.
INT. SALON – NIGHT
Carly practicing her knots. The book is open next to her. Fresh notes written in the margins.
The only light is the glow of the red nightlight in the cabin. The engines HUM as the catamaran motors on in the night.
Something catches her eye. Carly stands and peers through one of the windows, watching the black horizon.
LIGHTNING. It’s quite a ways off.
She sits near the window and watches. Another FLASH. This one maybe further away, just over the horizon line.
I/E. YACHT – DAY
Carly opens the SAIL LOCKER.
INT. SAIL LOCKER – CONTINUOUS
Carly drops inside and looks at the large bag in front of her.
LABEL: SPINNAKER
She pulls the bag by it’s handle, and shoves it up through the open hatch.
I/E. YACHT – CONTINUOUS
Carly climbs out. She stretches the bag across the boat’s trampolines, finds the zipper, and pulls.
ZZZZZZIIIIPP. The industrial strength zipper grinds along its teeth down the bag revealing a purple SHEET inside.
Carly steps up and runs to her book. Opening to a page she has bookmarked she studies it closely.
She jumps bag to the sail bag and grabs a corner of the purple sheet. She attaches it to a point and feeds it around the JIB.
I/E. YATCH – MOMENTS LATER
Carly steps to the helm and feeds a line into one of the winches. She retrieves a CRANK from storage under her seat and attaches it to the winch.
KLAK-K-K-K-K-K! She spins the winch.
Ahead… the purple sheet rises along the front of the boat. It’s top corner climbs higher and higher.
The sheet unfolds and fills with wind becoming a magnificent display of wind power! It billows out wide casting a purple hue on the yacht itself.
Carly moves to the controls and hits a BUTTON. The JIB SAIL responds rolling up to the bow and disappearing into itself.
Carly tugs and loosens lines, making proper adjustments to the new sail.
INT. SALON – SAME
Laurel watches the sail through the window. The beauty of it has captivated her. A glimmer of a smile, and perhaps pride, can be seen on her face.
She sips the hot mug in her hand.
I/E. YACHT – CONTINUOUS
Carly takes hold of the WHEEL and switches off the auto-pilot. She looks at the compass, then the sails.
EXT. ATLANTIC OCEAN – DAY
The catamaran sails over the waters, its purple spinnaker sail glowing under the afternoon sun.
I/E. YACHT – SUNSET
Laurel emerges from the Salon; a fish FILET on a plate in hand.
She hands it up to Carly who sits at the wheel. Carly accepts and takes a large bite of the fish.
LAUREL
The wind is starting to taper off.
CARLY
Yeah.
LAUREL
Maybe we should switch to the other sail before it gets dark?
CARLY
Jib.
LAUREL
Jib.
I/E. YACHT – MOMENTS LATER
The sun sits just over the horizon. Carly works a wench and the purple sail lowers to the boat’s bow.
Laurel stands at the front collecting it as best she can as it comes down.
I/E. YACHT – MOMENTS LATER
They work together rolling the sail into a tight bundle. Carly opens the sail bag and they begin to shove the sail inside.
INT. SAIL LOCKER – MOMENTS LATER
Carly pushes the bag into it’s proper spot; taking extra care of the storage space and where it should rest.
I/E. YACHT – NIGHT
The sun is all but gone. Laurel is wearing a HEADLAMP that illuminates the boat.
LAUREL
Take a break. We can run the motor for a while.
Carly moves along the side of the boat and leaps up to the helm. She presses and holds a button and the engines come to life. She engages the throttle and sets the auto pilot computer.
INT. SALON – NIGHT
Carly and Laurel sit on the couch drinking red wine.
CARLY
We broke up.
LAUREL
No! When?
CARLY
Like, three weeks ago.
LAUREL
Oh. I’m sorry. I liked that boy.
CARLY
Don’t be sorry. I dumped him.
LAUREL
Oh. I’m sorry for him.
CARLY
(joking)
Well, yes. His loss.
They look at each other, then laugh!
LAUREL
Want to tell me what happened?
CARLY
Eh. Doesn’t matter.
They sit in silence. Laurel sips her wine.
CARLY
Was Dad always… could you trust him?
LAUREL
More than anyone.
Carly considers this for a moment.
CARLY
I guess you would have to being that you were gone so much.
That stung. Laurel swallows.
CARLY
Busy, I mean.
LAUREL
Yeah.
I/E. YACHT – NIGHT
The boat bobs on a wave. A ROPE laying loose on the deck moves. It’s end hangs over the edge touching the water.
The boat kicks on a wave again, and the rope’s end slips into the water. The weight slowly pulls on the whole line.
It goes fast, snaking off the deck and into the current below dragging to the rear of the boat.
EXT. UNDERWATER – NIGHT
Like a sea snake, the line slips along the hull, it’s end aimed directly for the spinning prop.
INT. SALON – NIGHT
THE ENGINE STOPS SUDDENLY!
Carly looks to the windows curiously.
CARLY
What happened?
LAUREL
I don’t know.
They stand and move to the doors.
CARLY
I’ll restart it.
Carly grabs a light and CLICKS it on.
Laurel relaxes back onto the couch as her daughter steps outside.
I/E. YACHT – NIGHT
Carly presses the button at the helm. The starter turns but nothing happens.
She tries again.
Nothing.
Carly lets out a breath, and tries a third time.
CARLY
Come on…
Nothing.
CARLY
It’s a brand new boat.
LAUREL
What’s up?
CARLY
I don’t know. It just won’t start.
LAUREL
Did you try–
CARLY
The only thing I know to try is to try starting it.
LAUREL
There’s a breeze, we could just go back to the wind.
CARLY
Yeah. Okay.
LAUREL
We’ll sort it out in the morning, when we have light.
CARLY
Yeah.
LAUREL
It will be fine tonight.
I/E. YACHT – MORNING
Carly stands on the bow holding a line taught in her hands.
LAUREL
Are you sure?
CARLY
What else would explain it. This thing is wrapped around our propeller engine thing.
LAUREL
Propeller engine thing.
CARLY
Mom. This is serious.
LAUREL
Okay.
EXT. ATLANTIC OCEAN
The boat sits on almost glass ocean water. Both sails are down and the boat is technically adrift.
I/E. YACHT – MORNING
Laurel rushes out from the Salon, KNIFE in hand.
LAUREL
Don’t let the rest fall in.
CARLY
I’ve got it.
Laurel cuts the rope free near her hand. Carly, holding the end leading into the water, walks it back to the rear of the boat.
LAUREL
I’ve got the rest.
Laurel wraps up the line remaining and stores it as it should have been.
Caryl reaches the rear of the boat and tugs.
CARLY
It won’t budge!
Laurel arrives and grabs hold with her.
LAUREL
Like the fish. PULL!
They pull in unison, but the line doesn’t give. Laurel moves close to the water and lays prone on the swim deck. Her face can almost touch the water.
She grabs the line in the water and tries working it in different directions.
Carly holds the limp end helplessly.
CARLY
Shit. We’re stuck.
LAUREL
Don’t panic.
CARLY
I’m not. I’m pissed.
LAUREL
Don’t do that either. Let’s just breath.
CARLY
Don’t tell me to breath. Look where we are! Unless you have a way to MAKE WIND, we’re stuck! STUCK IN THE MIDDLE OF THE OCEAN!
Laurel stares at the line leading into the water. She rolls up to a sitting position and looks up at the sky.
CARLY
I have to be home in ten days. Not the islands. HOME! I can see the headline: “Midland High’s Prom Queen Lost At Sea.”
Laurel continues staring at the sky.
CARLY
HELLO!?
(beat)
Mom?
Laurel wipes her eye.
CARLY
Are you okay?
LAUREL
I’m tired.
Carly sits on a step leading down to where her mother is sitting.
LAUREL
This is the most peace I’ve felt in years.
Carly relaxes. They float in silence listening to the small waves lap the underside of the vessel.
LAUREL
I’m sorry.
CARLY
For what?
LAUREL
I didn’t know you were the prom queen.
CARLY
Well. I’m not. Not yet. A girl can dream right?
LAUREL
I’m still sorry.
The waves slap the boat gently.
CARLY
I know.
Laurel stands.
LAUREL
Grab your swimsuit.
Carly sits up.
CARLY
What? Why?
I/E. YACHT – DAY
Laurel stands next to her daughter, both in swimsuits. Laurel hands her a pair of goggles, and a line.
LAUREL
Tie yourself off.
CARLY
I cannot believe I’m about to do this.
Laurel picks up a knife, the same used to skin their fish.
LAUREL
It will be a great story to tell.
CARLY
What about sharks
LAUREL
If you see a shark, get out.
CARLY
Great.
Laurel moves down to the swim deck. She holds a line tied around her waist.
LAUREL
We’ll do this in shifts. Trade back and forth. I’ll go down first. When I come up, you go in. Keep cutting.
(off her look)
We can do this.
CARLY
(nods)
I know.
LAUREL
Okay then.
Laurel steps to the edge.
CARLY
Wait.
LAUREL
What?
CARLY
Do you know how deep it is?
LAUREL
What?
CARLY
How deep the water is?
LAUREL
Deep!
CARLY
Did you check?
LAUREL
No!
CARLY
Why not?
LAUREL
Because I don’t want to know either!
Laurel steps forward and plunges into the water. She comes up right away.
Carly moves down to the swim deck, holding her own safety line in a tight grip.
CARLY
Well?
LAUREL
It’s cold. Let’s hurry this up.
Carly slips into the water much more slowly. Carly lets out a noise through her teeth as the cold water wraps her body.
CARLY
The knife?
LAUREL
Got it. Back in a minute.
EXT. UNDERWATER – DAY
Laurel goes under and immediately heads for the prop. Sure enough, the line is a tightly wound mess.
She pulls free the loose parts and starts cutting.
As she saws at it, a part of the line splits free. Laurel pushes off and heads to the surface.
EXT. OCEAN – DAY
Laurel comes up blowing out a huge volume of air. She hands the knife to Carly.
LAUREL
Be careful. And, don’t drop the knife.
CARLY
Right.
Carly dives under.
EXT. UNDERWATER – CONTINUOUS
Carly follows the hull’s contours and reaches the prop. She pulls on the line and then cuts at it. She slides the knife back and forth working a chunk of the line free.
She pulls on the frays and it untangles. She pushes off and heads for the surface.
EXT. ATLANTIC OCEAN
Carly comes up for air.
CARLY
It’s working. Just a bit more left.
Laurel takes the knife and dives under.
EXT. UNDERWATER
Laurel reaches the prop and starts sawing at the torn line again. The last bit loosens and the rope drifts free of the prop.
Laurel looks it over, and then pushes off.
EXT. ATLANTIC OCEAN
Laurel comes up.
LAUREL
Got it!
CARLY
Thank God!
I/E. YACHT – CONTINUOUS
Carly hoists herself up onto the boat. She turns and takes the knife from her mother. Setting the knife aside, she pulls her mother from the water.
Teeth CHATTERING, Carly heads to the helm.
CARLY
Here we go!
She presses the buttons. The starter turns and the engine comes to life!
CARLY
YES!!!
EXT. ATLANTIC OCEAN
Unhindered, the catamaran sails on.
I/E. YACHT – DAY
Carly and Laurel lay on the bow. Carly’s sunhat over her face.
CARLY
You wanted to do this, didn’t you.
Laurel props herself up to look at her daughter. Her eyes studying her own. She lays back.
LAUREL
I thought…
CARLY
You thought it would connect you to Dad.
Laurel summons a nod.
CARLY
He would have loved this.
EXT. ATLANTIC OCEAN
Serene. Blue. The only sound is the most relaxing mix of air and waves. The type of ambiance others may recreate digitally for a good night’s sleep.
The Catamaran is so small on the vastness of the ocean, and yet it dominates the waves and commands the wind to carry it forward.
INT. SALON – DAY
Carly emerges from her side of the yacht rubbing sleep from her eyes. She notices the doors are open, and the KUERIG is on.
A mug and an unopened tea bag sits next to it. She looks up through the sunroof and sees the mainsail is out.
I/E. YACHT – DAY
Hot MUG in hand, Carly steps into the cockpit and up to the helm where she finds her mother, relishing the morning air.
Carly gestures to her mug.
CARLY
Thanks.
Laurel smiles.
CARLY
How’s the boat?
LAUREL
She good.
Laurel nods forward, beckoning Carly to look. Carly looks ahead.
LAND. Just poking over the hazing horizon the peak of a small island.
CARLY
Wow. We did it.
LAUREL
We did.
They sail in silence, marveling over the sight before them. The end of their journey now lies ahead. The ocean, it’s memories, behind them.
LAUREL
Grant will be there. You should straighten up your cabin. We’ll stay in the hotel tonight.
They watch the water together. The sails. Listen to the light waves.
I/E. YACHT – DAY
The sails are stowed. The engines PURR. Carly, barefoot, moves across the bow deploying fenders tied to knots she expertly formed.
Yachts in their slips surround them as Laurel pilots the boat slowly through a Marina.
Ahead, Carly sees their own slip. She can see a few people standing on the dock that stand out from the tanned dockworkers moving about. Dressed all too American.
Carly moves back to the helm next to Laurel. Her mom sees them too.
LAUREL
You want dock?
CARLY
Yeah?
LAUREL
Sure. I’ll spot for you.
CARLY
(concerned)
But what if–
LAUREL
You’ll be fine.
Laurel steps aside making room for her daughter. Carly takes the wheel.
LAUREL
Put your other hand on the throttles. You can steer by these pushing one over the other.
CARLY
Got it.
LAUREL
Keep it slow. The wind is out of the south. That should make it a little easier.
Carly fully takes the helm. Her eyes watch the bow of the boat. Laurel looks on giving her daughter space.
LAUREL
I’ll throw the lines.
Laurel moves tot he bow and begins to prep lines at each corner of the boat.
Laurel steps to the starboard bow, LINE in hand. She nods to the Americans standing on the dock.
LAUREL
Hi Grant. Lacey.
GRANT
(smiles)
Laurel. Good to see you. It’s a beautiful vessel.
Laurel tosses him the line.
LAUREL
Yes she is. Hi Lacey.
LACEY
You got some sun.
Grant takes the line and wraps it professionally around a nearby cleat. A DOCK HAND runs across grabbing a second line from Laurel on the port side.
Carly watches them secure the boat. She cuts the throttle and moves to the starboard aft. She grabs a line and turns to see Grant standing there with an empty hand ready to take the line.
GRANT
You must be Carly.
(beat)
Grant Donavan. I’ve heard a lot about you.
Carly hands him the line and he secures it quickly on a cleat. Grant point to the other end of the line.
GRANT
You’ll want to tighten that end up.
Carly looks down and pulls the line. She wraps it a few times.
GRANT
Permission to come aboard?
CARLY
Yeah. Sure.
Grant steps on board. He eyes the surroundings.
GRANT
Thanks for taking such good care of her.
Carly nods awkwardly.
GRANT
Well, I’m sure you both need to get some rest. We’re set up in the hotel just over there.
(to Carly)
And yes, they have wifi.
INT. CARLY’S CABIN – MOMENTS LATER
Carly ZIPS her bag shut, and throws the straps over her shoulder. She smooths the sheets on the bed, and stops. She lifts the mattress and retrieves her map and compass. She turns the compass over in her hand.
Biting her lip, she sets it on the bed. She stares at it for a moment, and then walks out.
The compass, abandoned, rests neatly on the made bed.
The door swings open and Carly darts in, grabs the compass, and races out.
I/E. YACHT – CONTINUOUS
Carly emerges greeted by Grant and her Mother.
LAUREL
Got everything?
CARLY
Yeah.
LAUREL
Mr. Donavan is going to take it for a demo cruise this afternoon.
GRANT
Not far. Just out from the marina where I can open the sails.
LAUREL
He’s asked if you would care to go.
CARLY
You aren’t going?
LAUREL
I have a conference call setup this afternoon.
GRANT
No rest for our future CEO.
CARLY
(to Grant)
I’ll pass.
LAUREL
You sure?
GRANT
It’s fine. I’ll manage.
Carly, bag over her shoulder, carrying her heels in the other hand, steps onto the dock barefoot. She stumbles a bit, and Lacey quickly grabs her.
LACEY
Sea legs?
CARLY
I guess so.
INT. HOTEL ROOM – DAY
Carly lays on her back in bed. Wrapped in a towel. Hair still wet. Staring at the ceiling.
Laurel walks into the room, and hands her a note.
LAUREL
Here’s the wifi password.
CARLY
My phone’s dead.
LAUREL
I’ll just set this over here then.
Carly continues staring at the ceiling.
CARLY
Did he take the boat out?
Laurel walks over to the window overlooking the marina.
LAUREL
Looks like it.
(beat)
Listen, I’ll be in a meeting for the next little while. They gave us a private conference room downstairs. So, if you need something.
Laurel looks at her. Carly doesn’t respond. Laurel heads for the door.
LAUREL
We’re on the first flight out tomorrow morning.
Laurel leaves and the door latches shut.
-
Charles Ferrell’s Finish Act 3
What I learned doing this assignment are more little gems revealed by characters, that cause me to add scenes or dialog to earlier Acts.
ACT 3
INT.THE LIBRARY BAR – AFTERNOON
Duncan asks Lance to join him at the bar, says to meet him in a booth, preferably in the back. Passing other booths some of his students speak to him.
STUDENT 1
Hey, sorry man
DUNCAN SMALLS
sorry for what?
STUDENT 2
You missed morning class and, well that asshat Winfield came in and said you were on the outs
STUDENT 1
And he said it like it was a good thing, I hate that asshole, anything we can do to help? Hey,I am on the school newspaper (the other student rolls his eyes) what?
DUNCAN SMALLS
Thanks, but no thanks..I have to work it out
Duncan begins to walk away with a polite smile toward the back booth that is in his sites, the student turns over his shoulder to him and says
STUDENT 1
Ya know, if you change you mind, I’m doing an internship at the state paper too.
STUDENT 2
You mean where your daddy is the editor?
STUDENT 1
Shut up, ya dick!
DUNCAN SMALLS
I’ll keep that in mind (shaking his head no slowly, and sits down at the booth where Lance is waiting)
LANCE LARRSON
So, buddy, whats up..you looking a little green around the gills
DUNCAN SMALLS
Hitomi’s in the hospital and I just got fired, well suspended
LANCE LARRSON
I thought she’s in the hospital everyday cause she works there, and how did you get fired?
DUNCAN SMALLS
She’s in the hospital, not at the hospital and I apparently jumped the gun on my thesis
LANCE LARRSON
Lance leans back and makes a time out sign with his hands
Wait, what, time out…Back up this train. Your girl is a patient and not treating them and you somehow got fired because of your thesis?
DUNCAN SMALLS
I got the Regent to approve my theme and that pissed off the Chancellor who fired me, for going over his head. Hitomi got run off the road, Oh and someone broke into my car.
DUNCAN SMALLS
I think someone is out to get me
Lance puts his face in hands then rubs them back and forth across his head a few times, he pulls out a cigarette and lights it
DUNCAN SMALLS
Mind if I have one (reaching out, Lance hands him one and lights it)
LANCE LARRSON
Yeah, buddy..I think we need the old glass bong for this one. (takes a long deep drag) so first off, is your girl ok?
DUNCAN SMALLS
Yeah, just a broken arm and banged up but she’s safe in the hospital
LANCE LARRSON
Ok, check one. Anything taken out of your car?
DUNCAN SMALLS
Yeah, file copies for my research
LANCE LARRSON
Well, you can make new copies…no biggee (nodding his head as if he’s working it all out)
DUNCAN SMALLS
Nope, the originals were stolen from the state archives and someone tossed my apartment
LANCE LARRSON
Now that is interesting, quite curious indeed…so some dip shit misplaced them, coincidence man, at the same time your girl gets in a fender bender..oh and some student broke into your place to steal pizza money…for sure a bad day but by no means CIA shit.
Duncan is looking out the window and checking around the room, obviously spinning in his head
LANCE LARRSON
Hey man, I appreciate you reaching out but what is it you want me to do. I’d think you would want to be with your girl right now..
DUNCAN SMALLS
I want you to help me steal a boat, I need to know whats in that lake.
LANCE LARRSON
Doo, Whaaat? Friends are supposed to help you hide the bodies, not search for them. I’m not a thief.
DUNCAN SMALLS
I know you didn’t buy all that shit in our dorm room, I need your help now.
LANCE LARRSON
Hey, you used that stereo just as much as I did. So I don’t wanna hear any shit out of you…Look, we can’t steal a boat and..and even if we did, say we find an old boot or a helmet? That proves nothing, its just old trash.
DUNCAN SMALLS
I know I’m onto something, I can feel it, someone is out to stop me..Now I have to know
LANCE LARRSON
Since when are you going by feelings or beliefs? Look, this is def some overthinking and not overdrinking, conspiracy theory shit…none for me buddy, I’m out!
EXT.SPORTING GOODS STORE – EARLY EVENING
Duncan drives to a local large sporting goods store and is walking outside in the area where they display the different types of fishing boats, when a salesman walks up.
SALESMEN
You look like crappie to me
DUNCAN SMALLS
Excuse me? I look like what
SALESMEN
Never mind, bad fishing joke, lets start over, How can I help?
DUNCAN SMALLS
(takes a beat in thought) bottom fishing
SALESMEN
Local lake, rivers, do you want to travel with it?
DUNCAN SMALLS
How do I know that I’m in the right spot? I don’t have a lot of extra time?
SALESMEN
Ahh, lets not mess around kinda guy, you want a fish finder. Lets step inside and I’ll show you.
They walk together inside as the salesmen continues to talk, they head toward a giant fish tank with all types of fish.
SALESMEN
These babies will show you schools of fish, logs and other obstructions that attract fish and could get you hung up.
DUNCAN SMALLS
Hmm, how do I know the difference between fish and obstructions
SALESMEN
With the latest live sonar, you will get live video in incredible detail just like a shipwreck hunter on tv.
DUNCAN SMALLS
How much is the boat I was looking at and how much is this live sonar?
SALESMEN
That bass hunter boat is $22,000
DUNCAN SMALLS
Whoa!…and the sonar?
SALESMEN
The live sonar is $1,499 and I’ll throw in a battery to run it.
DUNCAN SMALLS
Does it have a carry case, or maybe fit in a backpack?
SALESMEN
Turns his head struggling to understand the thought pattern but is not about to pass up a sale
Ya know these are made to be permanently mounted to a boat like that bass hunter. Nevermind, if you buy the live sonar, I’ll throw in a battery and we’ll go over to camping gear and find a backpack that works for you. How’s that?
DUNCAN SMALLS
Deal!
INT.DUNCAN APT – NIGHT
Duncan struggles to stay awake to avoid another nightmare, finally dozes off and has the most detail gruesome dream of all. Paces the room after waking searching for a solution.
EXT.LAKE DOCKS – NIGHT
Sneaking between lake front houses, looking for a boat and has some close calls at getting caught.
DUNCAN SMALLS
This looks like a good one, only one rope holding it.
LANCE LARRSON
I don’t know how I let you talk me into this shit
DUNCAN SMALLS
You didn’t want to be left out of any the glory
LANCE LARRSON
I’m standing in mud that smells like dead fish, I’m cold and sneaking around in the dark..there is no glory to be found here. And what is sticking out of your backpack there, super solider?
DUNCAN SMALLS
Fish finder and a battery to run it, stop yapping and help me push this out of the dock
LANCE LARRSON
Climbs in the boat and starts to quietly paddle, talking to Duncans back
So uh, what fish are we catching with no poles or net?
DUNCAN SMALLS
Just looking for any patterns on the bottom that might look man made.
LANCE LARRSON
So you know how to figure out the difference between natural and man made with that finder?
DUNCAN SMALLS
I got a 15 min lesson in the big tank at the sporting goods store…
I also know from my archaeology classes, that there are no right angles in nature. Straight lines and right angles are man made. Now, shut up and let me think,,,school of fish, stump,,big ass log, I think have, I have some straight lines
LANCE LARRSON
Shit! Boat headed this way with an engine…shut that monitor off and help me paddle!
INT.THE LIBRARY BAR – MIDDAY
Both looking tired Duncan and Lance regroup just as the bar is opening
DUNCAN SMALLS
Can you believe it? One little trip out and we found something, something man made!
LANCE LARRSON
I believe we almost got our asses caught, so far I’m still teaching here and well, would prefer to keep it that way.
DUNCAN SMALLS
This could be huge, we,,,we could change history with this!
LANCE LARRSON
I don’t know about changing history or even altering the future but I got a strong feeling it could sure fuckup my current situation. So how’s your girl doing?
DUNCAN SMALLS
She is still at the hospital, I’m sure she is fine with her people.
LANCE LARRSON
Soooo, you haven’t checked on her this morning? You need to drop this lake shit and go check on the last good thing you have going for you.
DUNCAN SMALLS
I believe we are really close, we have to keep pressing!
LANCE LARRSON
Again with this belief shit? Who is this talking, you are trashing everything you have worked for over some nightmares cause you ate junk food before you went to bed or something?
DUNCAN SMALLS
(snaps back in a serious tone) So are you with me or not?
LANCE LARRSON
With you? This isn’t some US against them movie. This is your life, wake up? And no, I can’t be doing this, go back to searching archives and reading books.
DUNCAN SMALLS
(looking off out the window, nodding his head) All right, I get it. You are all about some fun, but when shit gets real, when it gets hard you bail out. (looks dead at him) I don’t fucking need you, at all.
Gets up and storms out of the bar
LANCE LARRSON
Stays seated letting him walk out while calling
Hey, hey..(now to himself) that guys is gonna end up in jail or dead anyway.
EXT.LAKE DOCKS – NIGHT
Frustrated and alone Duncan steals the same boat again, struggles to paddle it alone
DUNCAN SMALLS
I’m better off alone anyway, dip shit Lance doesn’t understand. I’ll set the obstruction alarm on the sonar and just paddle around, wait for it to go off.
Trying to paddle evenly on each side alone, he occasionally bangs the side of boat on the quiet lake, it echoes off the houses. Alone he is making less forward progress.
DUNCAN SMALLS
Ugggh, what am I doing out here. This is ridiculous
He faintly hears the lapping of water against a hull, as if a large vessel is crossing the shallow lake. From out of the rolling fog in the distance he sees a fishing trawler. He can see men, translucent men, lowering nets over the sides as the large ship with no engine noise moves toward him.
DUNCAN SMALLS
What in the holy hell? (rubs his eyes) Now I’m really loosing it.
The ship glides right in front of him with no wake, trees and stumps pass through the center of its hull. He can see up above him 8 to 10 feet in the air the name “Onryo” on the side of its hull. Clearly the men are all japanese and don’t seem to be aware of his presence. The fog has followed the ship and now engulfs Duncan and his boat. As the end of the boat passes, he sees one older man who is not working but observing the others, turns and looks directly at Duncan expressionless and yet knowing, not breaking eye contact.
DUNCAN SMALLS
Who are you? (he begins to paddle, trying to follow the gliding ship)
Paddling hastily with no concern for noise, he begins to catch the ship as it becomes more translucent and fades.
DUNCAN SMALLS
No, wait, I don’t understand
Beep Beep Beep, the fish finder obstruction alarm goes off and the monitor comes alive with a detailed sonar picture from below, he can’t believe his eyes.
INT.DUNCAN APT – 1 AM
Comes home wet smelling like fishy water, after the second night of searching the lake in a stolen boat
HITOMI NAKAMURA
Where have you been sneaking out too,, night after night, as if I didn’t know,,,,and what is that god awful smell?
DUNCAN SMALLS
The lake and lake water,,,maybe a little fishy mud? You won’t belive what I saw and what is down there!
HITOMI NAKAMURA
The lake? In the dark, in the middle of the night? You don’t even fish,, Oh and I know you got fired, a letter and your last partial check is on the bar, when were you going to tell me that?…You know what, I don’t want to know what you are doing.
She starts packing a few things into a large bag she pulls out the hall closet, he still stands dripping wet on the entry rug.
HITOMI NAKAMURA
Someone ran me off the road, when I woke up you were not there. You got fired and now you are doing god knows what in the middle of the night. You obviously have some shit to figure out and you will be doing without me.
DUNCAN SMALLS
(interrupts) I’m really onto something!
HITOMI NAKAMURA
(she interrupts him) she has now pushed past him and is outside his apartment looking back
Look, (looks at her watch) i have to be on shift in a few hours, I don’t have time for this.
I’m going to my rental car and I’m sleeping at my place from now on. call me, if and when you figure it all out.
DUNCAN SMALLS
(mumble to himself) You don’t understand, this is real.
HITOMI NAKAMURA
I heard that, I’m clear that you don’t think I understand. (climbs in her car and slams the door)
EXT.LAKE DOCKS – 3 AM
Alone in the world with no reason to stay home he returns the lake with paper and pen in his backpack to map out the foundations of buildings he found on the bottom.
He quietly climbs into the same boat and begins to unpack his backpack
DUNCAN SMALLS
(to himself) fish finder, battery, notepad, pe..
when there is a hand on his shoulder.
FAKE POLICE THUG 1
You are gonna need to come with us sir.
DUNCAN SMALLS
But I was just,
FAKE POLICE THUG 1
Don’t bother, we know this isn’t your house or your boat. Please don’t make this difficult for yourself.
They cuff him by flashlight and put him in the back of an unmarked car.
INT.EMERGENCY ROOM – 5 AM
NURSE 1
Hey Doc, your boyfriend is here
HITOMI NAKAMURA
You have got to be kidding me, get security
NURSE 1
Security? Security for Mr. Jenkins?
HITOMI NAKAMURA
Oh shit, I’m sorry I thought..well never mind. What exam is he in?
NURSE 1
He’s not in yet but looks like 7 is up next
The nurse begins to walk away then remembers something and quickly turns around.
EMT, says Mr. Jenkins is bringing you a gift!
HITOMI NAKAMURA
A gift?…that’s a little odd and all I got him was an IV. Well, I never was good at gift giving anyway.
NURSE 1
Turns and motions toward the other end of the hall
There is your date now! Will you two be having the usual? Saline IV, warm blankets and maybe a bed pan?
HITOMI NAKAMURA
Throw in a cup of that burnt coffee and it’s a date!
Both have a laugh
EXT.DIRT ROAD – BEFORE DAWN
Police have Duncan cuffed in the backseat, pull out from the lake onto the two lane highway and then turn off the highway down a dirt road.
DUNCAN SMALLS
I always put the boat back, its not technically stealing.
FAKE POLICE THUG 1
No one gives a damn about a boat, do you really think this is about the boat?
DUNCAN SMALLS
This isn’t the way to town, or the police station
FAKE POLICE THUG 1
Great guess genius (he says removing his uniform, he looks at the cop driving) He really doesn’t know.
DUNCAN SMALLS
I’m guessing you two aren’t the police?
FAKE POLICE THUG 1
Another great guess, you catch on fast but not fast enough, you came along without a fight. (he looks at the driver and they laugh)
They reach the end of the dirt road and pull over, the driver gets out and removes his police costume and they drag Duncan from the car.
FAKE POLICE THUG 1
We are going to have this little chat, one time and one time only. (he punches duncan who is on his knees in the dirt handcuffed) No more questions about the lake, or any camp nonsense
FAKE POLICE THUG 2
(kicks Duncan in the stomach) We really need to you to get, that this is serious, some people don’t like your questions.
They continue to beat him bloody, then remove his handcuffs and pull away, leaving him lying in the dirt with the rising sun
Duncan hears the car stop down the road, looking through a bloody swollen eye, hoping they are not coming back he notices another car that was watching by the dashboard light it looks to be professor Winfield, he then pulls away.
INT.EMERGENCY ROOM
EMT 1
Morning Dr., He’s slightly dehydrated not lucid and been mumbling something about bringing the hard candy. He was clinging to this old box of stuff. When we tried to leave without the box he lost it, which made us nervous about his BP so we just brought it to keep him calm. No weapons or drugs in it, just pictures and harmless old man stuff.
HITOMI NAKAMURA
Thank you (turns to nurse) see if we can get an IV started and check his vitals
Hitomi standing beside Mr. Jenkins bed turns to walk out and he with shocking speed grabs her sleeve
MR. JENKINS
I brought more hard candy like I promised (with a little smile)
HITOMI NAKAMURA
That’s very nice of you, we will get you feeling better soon
He grips her sleeve tighter and begins to cry speaking through his tears
MR. JENKINS
I’m sorry, I couldn’t do more, please tell the others I’m sorry (sobbing uncontrollably)
HITOMI NAKAMURA
Sir I need you to be calm, please take a deep breath and try to get some rest while we get you hydrated.
MR. JENKINS
(still sobbing) I’m sorry Aiko, I’m so sorry
HITOMI NAKAMURA
(looks at the nurse) make a note for social services on the name Aiko, might be a family member they could contact, Oh,, and tell them about the box. (she pats his arm and pulls away, walking out)
EXT.UNIVERSITY – MORNING
We see Duncan dirty, bloody and tired walking near the end of the dirt road, now reaching the paved road he is hitchhiking.
We see a local give him a ride to the university in the back of his truck.
He reaches his apartment to find a notice on the door, one says he has been removed from the university. The second says student housing is only for faculty and students only and he has 10 days to move out.
-
Patrick Downey – Completed Act 3
What I learned doing this assignment is that I was a little light on material in scene 3 and this is where I need to make up some material that will get me the additional pages I need to reach the 90 – 100 page mark.
INT. H.A.V.O.C. OFFICE – DAY
The HAVOC four have returned to the office the Saturday before the Superbowl a little more relaxed after winning back most of their money on the Championship games and still having their overall pick make it to the Superbowl. A still skeptical but renewed confidence in Dardanos by the other men sets the tone for what Dardanos and his arrogance is about to propose. This is exactly the calculated move Cayman was banking on and he couldn’t have been more correct.
Dardanos
Gentlemen, I’ve instructed Crutch to deliver some of the highest payouts in HAVOC history to ensure everything goes according to my plan.
Patrick
Dardanos, I don’t like how you spend our money without telling us first!
Graham
That is some bullshit! We don’t run this company like that ever!
Dardanos
Yeah, you boys will be kissing my ass and thanking me when tomorrow night is over.
What they don’t know is that Crutch never exactly made it to his destination. As a matter of fact, he is in South Beach, FL., with Audie, Carmella, and about 30 of their family members and close friends at the home of Audie on Star Island for the Superbowl weekend.
INT. O’HARE INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT TERMINAL – NIGHT
Crutch is heading for the check station where Lt. Lundy works with a gift bag in hand.
Crutch
Lt. what up man! (The two shake hands and hug)
Lt. Lundy
It’s kind of late in the season for you to be going somewhere isn’t it?
Crutch
This is pure pleasure my man! I’m off to Miami to work on my tan! (They both laugh)
However, I wanted to drop this off with you on my way out.
Crutch hands Lt. a gift bag and as he reaches his hand in and pulls out a Baltimore Ravens jersey with Lundy on the back and signed by the entire team.
Lt. Lundy
Ohhhh man! That’s too much! I can’t believe you remembered.
Lt. Lundy is in full tear mode and doesn’t care who sees him. He gives Crutch a big bear hug around his mid-section and holds on for a full 15 seconds.
Dude! My wife is going to go crazy! You don’t understand what this means to my family. Thank you, thank you, thank you! If there is anything I can ever do for you, just ask.
Crutch
Lt. you have always been good to me, and I can see that you’re a good man that loves his family. So, I’m glad I could do this for you. Peace out brother!
Lt. Lundy
God bless you Crutch!
Crutch heads down the terminal turns and does a touchdown signal with his arms at Lt. Lundy
EXT. AUDIE’S HOME – DAY
We see this beautiful house filled with party guests both inside and outside. On the large screens is the pre-game show for the Superbowl hosted in Chicago.
Crutch
Audie, Carmella can I talk to you guys out front for a minute?
Audie/Carmella
Ya, sure.
Crutch walks over to his Bently parked in the dirveway and opens the trunk. Inside neatly arranged are 10 large gym bags lying side by side in two rows.
Crutch
Inside each of these bags is the money given to me by Dardanos for various payoffs. Each gym bag contains $6 million dollars and I want to make sure we all get a piece of this action.
Carmella
Wow! That’s a lot of money. They must have really gone after a huge payday.
Audie
You know guys, I’m good. Really. Why don’t the two of you just enjoy it! As a matter of fact, you’ve earned it!
As Audie walks back to the house, Carmella and Crutch stand there just looking at the bags in disbelief. They share a huge hug and a laugh! Carmella wipes tears from her eyes and Crutch lets out a yell.
Carmella
Crutch lets go get a bottle of Cristal for each one of us!
Crutch
Now you’re talking mama!
-
Benito Selim’s Completed Act 3
What I learned in this assignment is to pull out all the stops and just go crazy in this act, it will help with your closing act and climax to the film.
ACT 3
EXT. DARRYL’S DORM- LATER
Darryl arrives at his dorm and is met by Tina, her sorority sisters, and the police.
Tina yells at Darryl which he questions. Tina tells him she found Karen’s locket in his clothing. She is upset he hid knowing her.
Tina told him she notified the police. Detective Garnett takes Darryl into custody for questioning. His friends watch speechless as he is taken away.
INT. ELLEN’S HOUSE- EVENING
Ellen settles in for the evening when she hears noises coming from outside her house.
Ellen grabs her gun and investigates. A dark figure appears and attacks her, it knocks her gun out of her hand. Ellen fights back and tries to regain her gun.
Ellen retrieves her gun again and fires. She hits the figure, she pulls on their face cover, but can only see their eyes. The figure slashes their arm and gets away.
INT. POLICE STATION INTERROGATION ROOM- LATER
Detective Garnett questions Darryl about being in possession of the locket. Darryl tells him he found it at Starkoaks, which Detective Garnett questions.
Detective Garnett then questions his relationship with Ellen.
Detective Garnett tells Darryl he cannot hold him since there is no evidence of foul play but warns him that Ellen is dangerous and caused the former sheriff to be committed. Detective Garnett informs Darryl he will be keeping his eye on him.
INT. CAMPUS BAR- NIGHT
Darryl enters the bar to stares and whispers. Tina and he make eye contact, she gathers her belongings and exits with her sorority sisters/roommates Katelynn and Trish. The three make derogatory comments towards him.
Darryl is alone now, no one wants to talk to him. Eddie, Jeffrey, and Gary’s frat brother also Katelynn’s boyfriend, gets in Darryl’s face, but Gary intervened. Gary walks Darryl to a table where the rest of his friends sit. They’re concerned about him.
Darryl feeling low decides to leave. Gary turns Lorraine, Calvin, Andrew, and Marcus and gives his doubt that Darryl can innocent, Marcus is the only one who gives an argument and says he doesn’t believe Darryl is a killer.
EXT. CAMPUS BAR- LATER
Darryl attempts to speak with Tina, but Katelynn and Trish intercept him. Darryl pleads with his innocence.
Tina enters a vehicle while the girls continue to yell at Darryl. Eddy walks up to Darryl and punches him. A crowd now forms, and security makes its way over.
Tina leaves with Eddy and her sorority sisters. Security helps Darryl up and the crowd disperses. Marcus runs out hearing the commotion and aids Darryl.
INT. DARRYL’S DORM- LATER
Marcus walks Darryl to his dorms. Darryl enters his dorm and takes his pills again. He doubts his medium abilities now.
INT. TINA’S APARTMENT- LATER
Tina, Eddy, and her roommates settle in for the night. The unknown figure creeps throughout the apartment unknown to the housemates.
Eddy is surprised by the assailant and killed; Katelynn runs out to the patio where she is thrown over to the death.
Trish and Tina barricade themselves in their room, but the assailant gets in. the two hit him over the head with a lamp and run towards the door. The assailant catches up to them, he stabs Trish through the front door and kills her. The assailant turns to Tina and stabs her the scene cuts to black.
INT. DORM BATHROOM- MORNING
Darryl pulls pills out of his toiletries bag, he takes two and gives himself a long look in the mirror, he tells himself it’s over and even says sorry to Karen.
Darryl washes his face, but when he opens his eyes, he is now at Starkoaks. Karen stands in the distance, they both stare at each other. Karen suddenly appears in front of him and grabs onto him,
Darryl becomes her and is being murdered, he is fighting back, but losing, his arm is cut with a knife. Darryl removes the face-covering off the killer’s face and catches a glimpse of the killer’s eyes.
Darryl comes out of the trance and is kicking and screaming. By this time Marcus and Gary are trying to restrain him. Gary is kicked off and hits his leg hard onto the wall.
Marcus wakes Darryl who has a gash on his arm. He rambles on about being in Karen’s place. Marcus and Gary help him to his dorm, past the crowd that has formed.
INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT- LATER
Detective Garnett goes through files and comes across Ellen Paisley.
Detective Garnett realizes Ellen and Paisley are connected to the same case. He comes across the sheriff as well and attempts to contact him. Detective Garnett is informed the sheriff died a month ago from an apparent suicide.
END: Detective Garnett then contacts Ellen and learns she is being treated for wounds sustained from her attack. Officer Hicks notifies Garnett that Tina is in the hospital as well, surviving the attack on her and her roommates.
INT. DARRYL’S DORM- LATER
After his premonition, Darryl rushes to his dorm to get changed. Marcus is right behind and insists he goes to the hospital. Gary comes in and is limping.
Darryl denies Marcus’ requests and says he must go.
Marcus insists on driving him where he needs to go, Gary stays behind and questions.
INT. MARCUS’S MOVING VEHICLE- LATER
Marcus drives Darryl to Ellen’s house. Darryl tells Marcus about his schizophrenia and why he hid it from everyone.
Marcus questions if he is having illusions. Darryl denies and tells him about Ellen informing him about his gift.
Marcus is reluctant to believe but continues with their trip. Darryl tells Marcus to make a detour to the hospital instead. Marcus questions, Darryl insists and tells him everything will eventually make sense.
EXT. COLLEGE CAMPUS COURTYARD- AFTERNOON
Gary joins Lorraine, Andrew, and Calvin, they inform Gary about the murders off-campus.
Lorraine informs Gary rumors are flying that Darryl snapped because of the altercation at the bar. Gary tells them about the mental breakdown Darryl had in the morning.
Calvin disagrees and says he found something at the farm that day also. He invites the group back to the edit suite. They agree to meet him later since they all must go to class.
INT. HOSPITAL- LATER
Darryl and Marcus check to see if Ellen has been admitted. The nurse informs them she is being discharged. A nurse passes pushing a gurney with Tina on it.
Darryl immediately runs to her and questions. Tina acts frighten and asks him why. Darryl is confused and runs away. He meets back up with Marcus as Ellen enters the lobby.
Ellen tells them they need to leave now everyone with Darryl’s circle is in danger and this case needs to be resolved. They leave as Detective Garnett arrives, he informs other officers to follow the car and he’ll get their location later.
INT. EDIT SUIT- LATER
Calvin waits for his friends to arrive but decides to call Marcus since he can’t get ahold of Darryl.
Calvin leaves a message for Marcus to pass on to Darryl. Calvin reveals he found a fraternity pin at the farm, but it doesn’t belong to Jeff. He believes Jeff and Karen were set up but does not know why.
Calvin hangs up the phone and is attacked and killed.
INT. HOSPITAL ROOM- LATER
The officers inform Detective Garnett where Darryl is. Garnett informs them he’ll be on his way shortly. Detective Garnett wraps up his interview with Tina. She expresses she believes Darryl attacked her.
Detective Garnett doesn’t quite believe it and asks the doctor on his way out if he can a copy of the medical report. The detective leaves the hospital.
The doctor walks into the ER room to assist Tina, but she is gone.
INT. ELLEN’S HOUSE- EVENING
Ellen secures her house with the boys; she informs them she was attacked because these recent disappearances are connected to her and the Vernon case. There’s a knock on the door.
Detective Garnett arrives, Ellen invites him in. Darryl and Marcus question, but she informs them; it involves Garnett too. Garnett was a rookie patrol at the time of Vernon’s arrest. In fact, he helped with taking him down, he will be targeted too.
Ellen tells them Vernon had other accomplices and even a child no one knew about. She believes one or all of them are coming back for revenge.
BEGIN FLASHBACK
EXT. PARK- DAY
Darryl age 8 plays with other kids when he notices Silvia, she removes old posters of Emily missing and puts up fresh ones.
Darryl approaches her. Silvia instantly remembers him; she holds her composure and asks about Emily. Darryl tells her details only her mother would know. She asks her fate and Darryl passes on the info. Silvia grows emotional, Darryl’s mom arrives and pulls him away.
Darryl continues to talk and tells Silvia where they’ll find her boys. Darryl’s mom yells at him to stop. Silvia tells her, her son has a gift and doesn’t let anyone take it from him. Silvia exits.
END FLASHBACK
-
Vic Valleau Lessons 18-20 act 3 middle Scene 2/3/4 turning point (hits bottom)
What I leaned: I lost lessons 18 and 19 rough drafts so shared hitting bottom experience with my 4 characters. Slug lines keep organization together. Also I clarified my layered writing drafts approach: Beat/Action (goal of each scene) to outline notes on begin, middle and end leading to skeleton dialogue, just enough to keep the action alive. Character building dialogue is almost unnecessary at this 20% stage.
EXT. LAS VEGAS BLVD – NIGHT
Luckless foursome are walking, Hitchhiking in the rain, having lost their New Tesla and Diamond Rolex. JT chatters.
JT: Resorts World charged $21 to park and has 40 restaurants. Aren’t you glad we aren’t driving. There’s the Bellagio, see they took out the revolving door. Kept people waiting to get in. Dinner is $81.25 with a two months reservation. No takers? Well, the new Virgin Hotel is almost ready. Hey guys smile we could go to the new doggie hotel for free treats.
NANCY: Doggie treats, no thanks for your dinner invitation, so romantic!
JT: You’re not perfect either! You jumped the gun, thought McCarren airport was Harry Reid Airport. Kept your friends waiting!
ALIE: What’s wrong with Las Vegas International? LVX?
JT: TOO CONFUSING WITH LAX. Besides X means something.
EXT. WEDDING CHCAPEL – NIGHT.
In front of a Wedding chapel, Elvis’ neon lighted face beckons.
JT; I came here for a vacation, not romance or… ..
NMANCY: Interrupts … well maybe romance but not marriage!
JT: Are you finishing my sentences?
NANCY: Am I? You’re so predictable!
ELTON: Funny, predictable, that’s exactly what he said about you.
INT. WEDDING CHAPEL- VESTIBULE- NIGHT
They go in to dry off.
TOO ANGRY TO TALK, THEY SHAKE LIKE DOGS.
JT: Sorry guys, big mistake that last roll of the dice. Sorry Elton! I was counting on the Watch and Tesla as our back up plan.
NANCY: You have a gambling addiction JT, not good. You’re terrible gambler, not very good at all!
ELTON Hot shot lawyer, you can’t pay your office bills, no wonder.
ELIE: No comment!
ELTON: So that’s what classy looks and sounds like!
MINISTER COMES OUT. HE LOOKS AND TALKS LIKE BOB MARLEY.
SO WHICH OF YOU FOLKS ARE itchin’ta get hooked up?
The men each point at each other, laugh.
Minister gives them free hotel room pass to dry off, recover, ready for trip back.
MINISTER BOB: Hey mon. Whats ya doin mon! We need senorita for margueritta!
U want married mon.
First, we marry mon! Then we talk!
CEREMONY
Too cold and drunk to care, everyone goes along, signs final documents.
MINISTER BOB: (WITHOUT ACCENT) WE love visitors! We have a gift for you from the Business Bureau.
Vic Valleau Lesson 20 Finish Act 3
INT. SPARSE HOTEL ROOM IN BASEMENT.
NANCY IS CRUSHED BY ELIE’S accusations she is sleeping with Elton
NANCY: I WOULD NEVER DOUBLE CROSS YOU.
ELIE: What I saw was enough evidence, his hands all over you.
NANCY: I PUSHED HIM AWAY.
INT. CASINO – CONTINUOUS
Jt SWIPES THEIR FREE PASS FOR HOTEL AND BUS BACK, GOES TO CASINO.
JT: tells the group to relax, he’s got it covered, a free trip home for everyone, on Spirit airlines, suitcases in your lap and no drinks allowed.
Problem is they can’t afford cash trip for bus to McCarrren. He can’t afford the shuttle bus fare to airport so gambles entire trip package to win back $100 for bus to airport.
NANCY: That’s stupid, gamble our trip back!
JT: hey its just $100, maybe you could turn a trick for a hundred bucks.
She slaps him, huffs away.
INT. CASINO – NIGHT
MEANWHILE THEY FOLLOW TO BEG HIM TO STOP.JT goes to casino, loses free trip back to LA pass from Chamber of Commerce for losers over $50,000.
ELIE: I HAVE WOMENS CLUB FRIENDS WE COULD IMPOSE ON, STAY OVER UNTIL WE FIGURE OUT A WAY HOME. We need to pretend were married. Sharee a bed. Promise, hands off?
ELTON: I PROMISE HANDS OFF!
ELIE: CAN I TRUST YOU AFTER WHATR YOU DID DTO MY FRIEND?
ELTON: Never touched the woman. Men say touch a woman, go to jail but I never did!
JT: Be quiet, I,m doing this for you! Help me concentrate on this bet. I lose, we camp out and walk home.
ELTON 9WHISPERS TO ELIE) were doomed! Lets go now before he goes crazy, gets us thrown in jail!.
Her friends. Duck and run.
JT: No we are going to stay and fight. That’s what makes me a top lawyer, fighting for whats right!
NANCY: Gambling is never right! Your aura is right, you’re damaged. I can help you, not destroy yourself. Walk away with us right now.
They try to sleep in hallways of hotel, security kicks them out, k
They try sleeping in parking lot, security throws them out.
They go to an all night diner, kicks them out.
Lesson 20
JT rents a van with stolen credit card.
Runs out of gas. While they drive into homeless camp.
they pose as the police, terrorize a homeless camp, scare them away, steal their cardboard and dirty pillows.
Drive to gas station, trick slip another’s credit card into their pump, then return it.
EXT. VAN – NIGHT
VAN IS HOISTED UP BY WRECKER, TOWED WITH THEM SLEEPING IN IT. They roll to back, out door, in big bundle. In front of JT friends in circular drive of casino
His credit card was cancelled. Torn up, cut in half, taken away by bus boy in diner.
INT. ENTRANCE TO HIGH ROLLERS CRAPS TABLE – NIGHT
Guard asks everyone he doesn’t recognize to wait for computer scan which he flunks.
NANCY: Are you getting a divorce? I’M PSYCHIC.
JT: A divorce, right, I’m a lawyer.
GUARD: Don’t forget sir, minimum bet is $10,000.
NANCY: We don’t have $10,000.
He sushes her, flashes id. .
JT: Here’s my Lawyers card, worth more than a measely ten grand!
GUARD: How did you know? About my divorce?
We see him whispering to security guard: “Ill give you a free divorce if you let me in!
GUARD: How did you know?
JT: Yea, how do you know?
NANCY: I’M PSYCHIC
JT: Tan line around your wedding ring.
GUARD: Tan lines around my old wedding ring! I never noticed.
INT. HIGH ROLLERS CRAPS TABLE – CONTINUOUS.
CROUPIER: Le Fait du jour, gentlemen le fait du jour jour!
JT: Whats he saying Fay do jar?
NANCY: No he says Le Fair de jour, make the day or place your bets now. Same as they say in Monte Carlo.
JY: How would you know?
NANCY: Rich husbands, rich cultured husbands, not hopeless gamblers like you!
JT: You’re a jink. Leave.
CROUPIER: Sir have the lady blow on your dice, good luck!
JT: (to Nancy) Well either you blow now or blow later in my hotel suite.
CROUPIER: No, You need it now, sir! Whole table is waiting!
Before she can blow on his dice, he shakes and rolls, loses.
SECURITY ESCORTS latches onto him. He holds dice.
CROUPIER: Please sir, give the dice back to the next gentleman who wants to win our grand prize $400k. Everyone gasps.
NANCY: That would buy a couple Teslas!
Security taked JT fighting, out.
NEXT GENTLEMAN: Please stay and blow on my … you know!
She stays, he wins, embraces her passionately. JT sulks out, cursing her under his breath.
Peeking thru the door, Elie and Elton see goings on. Protesting but failing, JT is whisked past them, held firmly by two guards..
-
Rebecca Jordan’s completed Act 3, Lesson 20
What I learned from doing this assignment is that l need to recommit to speed writing. And stop worrying that I have too much material and how to structure it all. I suppose that’s a good problem.
INT. PICK UP TRUCK – CONTINUOUS
Rachel’s, 50’s, behind the wheel, laughs to herself.
RACHEL
“Ga-sha-gow-gow-gow”
Sings.
RACHEL
“I can’t stop this feeling. Deep inside of me. Girl you just don’t realize what you do to me.”
EXT. CONVENIENCE STORE – CONTINUOUS
Rachel whips into a spot in front of the store.
INT. TRUCK – MOMENTS LATER
Rachel eats chips. Swigs from fresh pint of JD. Washes it back with water.
Deep breath.
Calls Paul on speaker.
PAUL
Dare I ask?
RACHEL
I know okay? go ahead. rip me a new one.
PAUL
Rachel…
RACHEL
…
PAUL
Okay. Obviously you won’t make it tonight.
RACHEL
Obviously… I’m really sorry.
PAUL
…Are you okay, babe?
Rachel winces, a little.
RACHEL
Yea. Well. Not really. But I will be.
(beat)
I Was on my way back, but I had to turn around. It’s a long story.
PAUL
Does this have to do with your mom?
RACHEL
Can you guys just please rehearse without me.
PAUL
Rach–
RACHEL
I’ll be ready. You know I will. I’ll need it badly after this… trip. // Trust me.
PAUL
Trust me. I know you’ll kill it. You always do. I’m worried you though.
RACHEL
Paul–
PAUL
I take it back. I’m here for you. I want to be there for you. I care about you.
Sigh.
PAUL
I understand not today. Probably not tomorrow. Just want you to know I’m in your court. You now what I mean.
RACHEL
I do. I need —
Rachel chokes back feeling.
RACHEL
…more time to get my head on right. Is all. Don’t wanted keep tarnishing everything shiny in my life.
PAUL
Awwww. Rach. That’s mushy.
RACHEL
I have to go, dudey. I’ll keep you posted.
PAUL
Check the calendar.
RACHEL
A week tops. Two.
PAUL
Bye. Text me. A lot.
RACHEL
Bye.
INT. TRUCK – CONTINUOUS
Rachel, numb. Sits. Pint of JD in hand.
Throws back a mouth full. Rolls a joint for the ride.
INSERT:
EXT. SIDE OF THE ROAD, HIGHWAY – LATER
Rachel swerves onto the side of the road.
Gets out of the truck. Hits the joint. Stretches her legs. Takes in the land. Yoga poses toward the sunset.
INT. TRUCK – CONTINUOUS
Rachel curls up with jacket. Cat nap.
INT. STEW’S BEDROOM – DAY
Stew and Rachel are curled up on his bed in each other’s arms, naked.
Suddenly, knocks at the back door. Then voices.
Rachel and Stew freeze. Lock eyes.
Carlee yells from down the hall.
CARLEE
Stew. Rachel’s mother is here looking for her. Do you know where she is?
Rachel flies out of the room.
INT. STELLA’S BDRM – CONTINUOUS
She leaps into the walk in closet.
CARLEE (O.S.) (CONT’D)
Stew! Have you seen Rachel?
INT. STEW’S BDRM – CONTINUOUS
Stew peeks out the door.
STEW
No. I have not.
INT. KITCHEN – CONTINUOUS
Carlee and Beth with Undercover Cop, 40’s, handsome black man, stand at the back door.
CARLEE
She’s not here.
Carlee checks out the detective.
BETH
I don’t know what kind of household you’re running here, with teenagers just coming and going as they please. But I don’t want my daughter // over here anymore.
CARLEE
Huh! Never gave a shit before.
BETH
Well, I do // now.
CARLEE
You’re the fucking bitch with a daughter who can’t stand being in the same room with you.
BETH
Don’t you dare use that kind of fowl language with me. That is unbelievably rude.
CARLEE
Oh yes, and you’re sooo prim and proper. Fucking phony.
BETH
Clearly you’ve been talking to my thirteen year old child.
CARLEE
Yes we talk. We have a nice relationship.
BETH
Good for you.
CARLEE
Good for her too.
DETECTIVE
Okay ladies. Lets wrap it up. Rachel isn’t here.
CARLEE
Some guy from Japan comes along, out of the blue, who doesn’t even speak English. And you decide to become a different person. And then you expect your kid to change from what you’ve already turned her into. Why do you think she’d rather be here?
BETH
I love my daughter, but I will not stand by and allow her to destroy my relationship with my husband.
CARLEE
Oh you’re so selfish Beth.
BETH
Who are you to judge? You’re a floozy. Look at you.
CARLEE
You’re no better than me Beth. At least I’m home.
BETH
Must be nice to have that choice as a single mom.
CARLEE
It is.
BETH
And I think it’s inappropriate that you allow Rachel to sleep over here with Stew. She’s too young to have a boyfriend in the first place.
CARLEE
Oh please. Grow up. She sleeps in Stella’s room. They’ve been best friends for years. And I can’t help it if Stew and Rachel like each other.
BETH
Well she’s not aloud over here anymore.
CARLEE
I can’t watch them every minute of the day. And your kid is not my responsibility.
BETH
She is if she’s here.
CARLEE
As if you’ve ever even given a shit.
CARLEE
She’s thirteen years old, Carlee.
CARLEE
Oh, why don’t you just fucking leave me alone. Please. Take your little entourage and go.
BETH
That is so inappropriate.
Carlee pushes them toward the door.
CARLEE
And you’re perfect. I don’t need your insults
BETH
My husband doesn’t understand this kind of behavior. Children in Japan, where he was raised, are well behaved and obedient.
CARLEE
What are they animals?
INT. WALK IN CLOSET – CONTINUOUS
Rachel balled up in a corner of the world’s tiniest bedroom. With clothes hanging overhead. Her ear pressed up against the door.
BETH
They treat their parents with respect. Help out.
CARLEE
You’re delusional Beth.
BETH
No. That’s how it’s supposed to be.
Mocking her.
CARLEE
That’s how it’s supposed to be. Well, you should have thought of that before you brought the guy into a fatal situation.
BETH
I will not have my child running around doing as she wants. Ruining everything for me. She will not destroy my marriage. If I have to make a choice, I will choose my husband.
CARLEE
Oh grow up Beth. She’s your daughter. She’s a thirteen year old child.
Rachel covers her mouth. Sobs.
INT. KITCHEN – CONTINUOUS
BETH
Oh please. Why don’t you grow up Carlee.
CARLEE
Okay bitch. Get out of my house.
Please. You make me sick.
OFFICER
Ladies. Please. Put your claws back in. This is about finding a thirteen year old who is obviously troubled.
BETH
Fine. But if I find out that Rachel // is hanging out with Stew.
CARLEE
Please. Go. Don’t come back.
MARLENE
If I find out, Carlee, that you are allowing —
CARLEE
Believe me. I’ll tell her to run as far away from you as possible.
OFFICER
Okay ladies. // Let’s wrap it up.
BETH
Oh that’s nice. You are such a child.
CARLEE
Oh you’re such a child! Please Beth, just get the fuck out of my home.
Carlee pushes them toward the door.
OFFICER
Okay ma’m. That’s enough.
CARLEE
This is my home. Unless you have a warrant, you got not right.
BETH
This is useless. Let’s go.
Carlee closes the door behind them.
CARLEE
Fuck you!
Carlee rushes down the hall.
CARLEE
Stew! Rachel has to go now.
And please don’t argue with me. I can’t have this.
STEW
Okay.
CARLEE
I mean it. I do not need that bitch coming into my house with the cops insulting me.
INT. WALK IN CLOSET – CONTINUOUS
Rachel in the closet, cries quietly.
CARLEE (O.S.)
Rachel, honey. Come on. You have to go home now.
INT. TRUCK, SIDE OF THE ROAD – EVENING
Rachel, 50’s, wakes with a start. Tears stain her flushed cheeks.
RACHEL
Fuck this!
She gets a bottled water from paper bag on the front seat. Guzzles.
Finds the roach in the ashtray, fires it up.
EXT. CRAPPY MOTEL – NIGHT
Rachel sits in her truck parked outside the motel.
RACHEL
Why? Why!!?? Fucking piece of shit motel! Ahhhhh!
Gathers some stuff from the front seat.
INT. CRAPPY MOTEL, FRONT DESK – CONTINUOUS
Rachel weighted down with duffel and various bags. Drags her ass down the gloomy hallway to her room.
INT. CRAPPY MOTEL ROOM – NIGHT
Rachel propped up on the bed has placed towels over the bedspread.
She stares through the television.
EXT. APT. COURT YARD BUILDING – DAY
Rachel, 13, finds her way through the courtyard to a door in the corner.
Rings the buzzer next to the sign that reads “MANAGER”.
JERRY
Come on in! Rachel enters.
Door buzzes.
INT. STAIRWAY – CONTINUOUS
Dark and dingy stairway. Smells like a locker room.
Rachel at the bottom of the stairs, knocks on the door.
RACHEL
Hello.
JERRY
Yeah. Hi. Come On in.
Rachel pushes the door open.
INT. DINGY OFFICE – CONTINUOUS
The apartment rental manager, JERRY, 40’s, over weight, lacks hygiene, a real “dees” and “dose” kinda guy.
Sits at a crappy metal desk with his feet up on it. Watches a tiny black and white television, drinks an Old Milwaukee.
Squishes the can and lops it into the over flowing trash.
Jerry sits up in his chair. Belly hangs out of his T-shirt.
JERRY
Come in! Come in! Don’t be shy.
Rachel takes one step in.
JERRY
What can I do you for missy?
RACHEL
Hi. Remember me?
JERRY
Look familiar.
RACHEL
I was here about a week ago. Looked at the apartment upstairs. Said I’d be back.
JERRY
Yeah, I remember. What’s da name?
RACHEL
Rachel.
JERRY
I figured you didn’t want it.
Rachel’s eyes wide open.
RACHEL
Is it gone?
JERRY
someone was looking at it.
RACHEL
Oh.
JERRY
You were supposed to bring a check by da udder day.
RACHEL
Yeah, I’m sorry.., I um.., I ended up having to work some double shifts. And then I had to go out of town for a couple of days… for work.
He sizes her up.
She sits up straight.
RACHEL
Is it available? Can I still get it if I give you some money today?
Jerry rummages through some messy stacks of paper on his desk.
JERRY
Did you already fill out da paper work?
Rachel fidgets with her purse.
Sees the tumbling stacks of file folders with papers sticking out.
RACHEL
Yeah. I did.
Jerry gives up.
JERRY
Okay. Well if you give me a deposit today da place is yours.
RACHEL
Yes. Thank you.
Rachel digs through her bag..,
Pulls out little wads of cash from various pockets. Stacks them into a pile, straightens the bills as she counts.
Jerry’s attention is back to the television.
INT. BAR – NIGHT
Dive bar. It’s dead. BARTENDER, 60, does a crossword puzzle at the end of the bar.
Rachel, 50’s, at the bar alone.
RACHEL
I’ll take another shot of Jack when you get a chance.
BARTENDER
Sure.
Bartender, sighs, slowly get up from her chair, waddles over to pour the shot. Sets it in front of Rachel.
BARTENDER
Another beer too?
RACHEL
No thanks. What do I owe you?
BARTENDER
Four bucks.
Rachel sets Five bucks on the bar. Throws back the shot.
RACHEL
Thanks.
Heads over to the games.
Puts change in a pin ball machine. Takes her anger out on the silver balls.
Looks at phone. Sees text from Paul. “How’s it going? Call me later.” Back in pocket.
INT. STEW’S CAR – DUSK
Stew, 16, drives. Rachel, 13, in the passenger seat. They share a joint. Coasting down an alley behind brown stone apartment buildings.
They approach a galley way between to buildings.
RACHEL
Just turn in here?
STEW
Where?
RACHEL
Right here.
STEW
Are you out of your fucking mind? It’s all grass.
RACHEL
It’s okay. Nobody can see you. // Just back in.
STEW
Not unless someone just happens to be near their window.
Stew backs into the galley way. Careful not to mess up his rims.
STEW
This is not good.
RACHEL
My bedroom window is right back there. Stop. Right here is good.
EXT. STEW’S CAR – CONTINUOUS
Rachel and Stew are out of the car.
STEW
Which one is it?
RACHEL
Right there.
STEW
What are you gonna do? Climb up the side of the building?
RACHEL
You’re real funny. Duh. I’m going in. You wait here. I’ll throw my shit out the window.
STEW
Not on my car. I’ll move up.
RACHEL
Whatever. It’s just gonna be my clothes. I’ll carry down the rest.
STEW
Hurry up.
RACHEL
I’ll be fast. Believe you me.
Rachel already running.
STEW
Are you packed at least?
RACHEL
Why would I be packed? Jeez. I’m just gonna throw it down.
She disappears around the corner.
Stew leans on his car. Lights up a smoke. Checks his watch. looks around.
Finally, the window opens from above.
Mick looks. A pile of clothes fly out the window. As if weightless, the clothes separate and float down.
Mick’s face still turned upward in awe. A shirt lands on his face.
The clothes come crashing down, landing in heap around him.
STEW
What the fuck?
RACHEL
Just shove it all in the trunk.
He folds some clothes and puts them in a pile.
Rachel has another pile of clothes.
RACHEL
No! Don’t fold it. Just shove it in the trunk. Jesus!
INT. RACHEL’S BDRM – CONTINUOUS
Rachel’s bag is almost full.
On her way out, she sees a picture of herself with her Mom. Leaves it on the dresser. Stops. Exits.
On second thought. Grabs the photo and shoves in her bag.
EXT. STEW’S CAR — MOMENTS LATER
Rachel runs toward the car with her bag.
RACHEL
Let’s book. It’s getting dark.
She throws her stuff in the trunk. Slams it shut.
INT. STEW’S CAR — CONTINUOUS
Stew slowly pulls out and turns into the alley.
A squad car right behind them turns on flashing lights.
RACHEL
Shit! Holy shit! Alright. Just be cool. Drive normal.
STEW
Aw! Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
EXT. STEW’S CAR — CONTINUOUS
The squad car pulls right up to the driver’s side of the car. Mick rolls down his window.
Rachel has a her Cubs cap on.
OFFICER
Is everything okay here? Yes officer. I was just turning around.
OFFICER
That’s not a driveway young man.
STEW
Yeah. I know. I’m really sorry officer.
OFFICER
Alright. Well let’s move it along.
STEW
Thank you sir. Have a good
INT. STEW’S CAR — CONTINUOUS
STEW
Holy fuckin’ shit.
Rachel can hardly breath. Jaw on the floor.
Stew’s heart racing. Hands shaking. Grips the wheel and slowly rides away.
Silence.
INT. RACHEL’S APARTMENT – NIGHT
The apartment door is open. There are piles of Rachel’s stuff strewn about and posters bulging out of bags etc. The place partially painted. Empty cans of paint, drop clothes, rollers brushes stacked next to a ladder propped up in a corner. A guitar and albums lean up against a cheap stereo.
Foot steps climb the stairs.
Rachel and Stew enter carrying more bags.
RACHEL
You can put that stuff in the kitchen.
Winded, Rachel drops everything into a pile on the floor.
Stew drags his feet looks around. Sees the bong and tray of weed.
STEW
Here we go.
He sits on the floor and fills the bowl.
You want a soda or something? Are you hungry?
STEW
Nah.
RACHEL (O.S.)
I got some Jack.
STEW
I’m gonna book in a minute.
Rachel enters with two sodas and a pint of Jack.
RACHEL
Oh… Okay. Here’s a soda for the road. You gotta be dying of thirst by now..
STEW
Yeah. Thanks. Maybe I better. I’ll need it after this.
Stew takes a hit from the bong and holds it in as long as he can.
RACHEL
Thanks… For helping me. I know you think I’m nuts.
Mick loads another bong for himself.
STEW
It’s cool.
Rachel pulls posters out of a bag and tries to decide where to hang stuff.
Stew lights the bong and holds his hit. Chokes.
STEW
Alrighty.
(coughing)
I’m out of here.
RACHEL
Don’t choke when you toke.
Stew leans in for a quick kiss. Heads for the door.
STEW
Okay. Later.
RACHEL
Later.
STEW
You okay?
RACHEL
I guess. You can stay. If you want.
STEW
Nah. I gotta book.
RACHEL
Okay. Later.
Rachel picks up a bag. Head down goes in the kitchen.
RACHEL
See ya. Thanks again.
STEW
Cool. Later.
Stew’s out the door and down stairs.
Rachel comes back in. Looks around. Sits on the floor in front of the bong. Alone.
She pulls her bag close. Digs around until she finds the wrinkled picture of her and her Mom together. Mom is smiling lovingly at Rachel who is about 6 yrs old.
INT. POST OFFICE – MORNING
Rachel 50’s enters the Post Office. Takes in all the PO Boxes lining the walls. Where to start?
Looks at her paper with the PO box number.
Finds the corresponding box. She can see from the window that the box is packed to the gills with mail.
Rachel approaches the POST MASTER, 60’s, quirky with a friendly twang. She’s behind the desk bending over some boxes.
RACHEL
Excuse me.
POST MASTER
Hi. A Good morning to ya!
Amused.
RACHEL
And to you too. I’m looking for the woman who owns this… or belongs to… this PO Box number.
Shows her the paper with address.
RACHEL
It’s the very full box over there.
RACHEL
Second row from the bottom.Do you happen to know her? Her name is // Beth.
POST MASTER
Beth. Yes I do.
RACHEL
You do?
POST MASTER
I do? Haven’t seen her in quite a long time.
RACHEL
She obviously hasn’t been here in quite a long time. She’s my Mom.
POST MASTER
I have literally tons of her mail stacking up. In the back room. Are you here to pick it up?
RACHEL
Oh well. I could…
POST MASTER
Well we can’t just give it to you before verifying some things first. Protocol.
RACHEL
Right.
POST MASTER
And. Sorry to say. Well I can’t say.
RACHEL
Oh.
POST MASTER
We haven’t seen Beth here in, gosh, only heaven knows. Oops, that didn’t come out quite right.
RACHEL
Okay. Can you tell me how far back the mail is dated?
POST MASTER
Oh golly. Hard to know for sure. Probably a year? Almost.
RACHEL
Holy moly.
POST MASTER
Holy moly is right. I really need to verify that you’re her daughter. It’s a process.
RACHEL
Of course.
Stuck. What next.
POST MASTER
If you have her number, we can call her.
RACHEL
Well… hmmm.
POST MASTER
Or… but we haven’t seen her in a long time either.
RACHEL
Her?
POST MASTER
There is an older lady. Picks up… your Mom’s… mail ever so often. Her name… is… Oh what’s her name? Shoot. She drives a long ways to get here. That’s probably why it piles up.
RACHEL
Sure.
POST MASTER
Which could mean she be coming sometime soon. Unless… nothing.
Blurts out proudly.
POST MASTER
Eleanor! That’s it.
RACHEL
Eleanor?
POST MASTER
Yes Eleanor. I’m sure of it. Nice older woman.
Reflects.
RACHEL
Can’t be the same Eleanor I know from when I was a wee kid.
POST MASTER
She’s pretty old.
RACHEL
And i’m guessing you don’t have a way for me to reach here.
POST MASTER
Even if did —
RACHEL
Of course.
Sighs.
POST MASTER
I’m guessing that unless she died… Not your mom…
RACHEL
Oh.
WOMAN
Sorry. Eleanor.
RACHEL
Right…
WOMAN
What I mean is…
RACHEL
I understand what you mean. It’s okay.
POST MASTER
She should be… Well… soon. I mean, you saw all the mail in her box.
RACHEL
Okay.
POST MASTER
I was just thinking out loud.
RACHEL
Okay.
POST MASTER
And we have a couple full boxes in the back too. So it’s been a long while.
RACHEL
Right.
At a loss.
Then.
RACHEL
How about I give you my number.
WOMAN
Sure. Yes. Yes. Let’s do that.
RACHEL
And if… Eleanor… comes in to pick up my mom’s mail. Would you mind giving her my number and asking her to call me. I’m Rachel.
Woman hands her a pen and piece of paper.
WOMAN
Here ya go. I can most certainly do that. That’s kosher.
Laughs at her own choice of words.
WOMAN
I’m not jewish. Just —
RACHEL
Don’t worry about it. Thanks.
POST MASTER
You’re welcome. Sorry I couldn’t be more helpful.
RACHEL
Nonsense. You’r a life saver. You take care now.
POST MASTER
You too, honey. Good luck.
Rachel leaves.
Almost immediately ELEANOR, 80’s, a short stocky, Jewish woman enters the Post Office.
POST MASTER
Oh my lord have mercy…
Waves to Eleanor.
POST MASTER
Eleanor. Over here. I got you covered. How are you?
Eleanor waves back. Shuffles over.
EXT. STREET – CONTINUOUS
Rachel, 50’s, meanders about. Peeks into shop windows. Checks out the southern charm of this little town.
She disappears into a coffee shop.
EXT. STREET – MOMENTS LATER
Rachel backs out of the coffee shop. Arms full of goodies and a cup of coffee.
Nearly knocks over an older woman pushing a cart full of boxes. It’s Eleanor.
RACHEL
Oh my gosh. I am so sorry. You okay?
Shuffles by unscathed. Trudges along.
ELEANOR
Watch wear you’re going young lady.
RACHEL
Sorry. Can I help?
ELEANOR
No.
Calling out, but mostly to herself.
RACHEL
I’m definitely not a young lady. But okay.
Rachel passes back by the Post Office. Looks in the window.
EXT. TRUCK – CONTINUOUS
Rachel loads her goodies.
INT. CRAPPY MOTEL ROOM – NIGHT
Rachel, 50’s, in her underwear at the desk sitting with a towel over the chair. finishes another beer. Closes computer.
She navigates getting under the sheets.
RACHEL
Ewwww!
puts her sweat pants on and gets in the bed. Turns on the TV. Changes channels. Reception is terrible. Lands on a channel with static, white noise
EXT. L STOP – DAY
SOUND of train riding the tracks.
Rachel, 13, emerges from the turnstile.
Buys a pack of smokes at the corner news stand.
Crosses the street.
Suddenly two undercover police officers approach her.
OFFICER #1
Hey. Young lady. Excuse me, what’s your name?
Rachel speeds away from them.
Officer #2 shows his badge.
OFFICER #2
It’s okay. We’re police officers.
Rachel, scopes her escape.
OFFICER #1
Maybe you could help us out. What’s your name?
RACHEL
Mary.
Officer #1 shows her a photo from his pocket.
OFFICER #1
Are you sure?
OFFICER #2
Isn’t there someplace you should be?
RACHEL
Yeah. Work.
OFFICER #1
Why would you lie about your name?
RACHEL
Do you mind? You’re embarrassing me.
Cop #2 takes hold of Rachel’s wrist. She winces.
He drags her toward the squad car.
RACHEL
Come on man.
OFFICER #2
Not takin’ any chances.
RACHEL
Fuck you.
Officer #2 gives Rachel a good yank.
RACHEL
Ow! You’re hurting me you asshole.
OFFICER #2
Then stop resisting.
They arrive at an unmarked police car and shove Rachel into the back seat.
INT. OFFICE, POLICE STATION — LATER
A large sparse office, with fluorescent lighting.
Rachel sits in a chair waiting. The two police officers pace back and forth smoking Rachel’s cigarettes.
RACHEL
Can I have one of my smokes? Please.
OFFICER #1
I don’t think you’re old enough to be smoking young lady.
RACHEL
Fuck you. Those are mine.
OFFICER #2
Excuse me?
Stink eye.
OFFICER #1
I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that.
The phone buzzes. Officer #2 picks up.
OFFICER #2
Yeah? Alright. I’ll come down.
…No. Just ask her to wait a minute. I’ll be right there.
He hangs up and leaves the office.
OFFICER #1
So why is it you can’t manage to keep your ass at home?
RACHEL
…
OFFICER #1
Cause I see you here again, you won’t be going home to your nice cozy bed.
RACHEL
I have my own home. Thank you very much.
OFFICER #1
I don’t take pleasure in throwing children into lock up. But this shit’s been going on long enough.
Gets up in her face.
OFFICER #1
You’re getting off easy this time. Next time it’s the lock up.
Rachel checks him. Defiant.
RACHEL
Anyplace is better than going home with my mom.
OFFICER #1
Yeah? Well, that’s something you might want to think about real hard. Cause it aint no picnic if that’s what you’re thinkin’.
Phone rings. He picks up.
OFFICER #1
Whitley. Yeah.., Bring her in.
Beth, 31, enters with Officer #2.
Her eyes meet Rachel’s defiant eyes with daggers and disapproval.
EXT. CONVALESCENT HOME – EVENING
Rachel, 50’s, lands into a parking spot.
INT. TRUCK – CONTINUOUS
Takes out the pint.
Grunts.
Puts it back.
INT. CONVALESCENT HOME, RECEPTION – CONTINUOUS
Rachel looks around assessing the facility. Waits. Paces. Checks her phone.
Finally, RECEPTIONIST, 40’s, tired, returns. Hands Rachel some some papers.
RECEPTIONIST
Here you go. The room number is at the top of the page.
RACHEL
Thank you.
Rachel checks the different hallways.
RECEPTIONIST
Her room is that way. But you’ll have to come back tomorrow during visiting hours. Everyone’s in bed. Last rounds have been made. Etcetera.
RACHEL
Oh. Bummer.
Backs away from desk.
RACHEL
Thanks again.
RECEPTIONIST
You are welcome. Good night.
RACHEL
Good night. See you tomorrow then.
Receptionist glances up. And back to work.
INT. CONVALESCENT HOME – MOMENTS LATER
Nobody at reception.
Rachel 50’s with her guitar, sneaks down the hallway, ducking into the restroom to avoid being seen.
INT. CONVALESCENT HOME, HALLWAY – CONTINUOUS
Rachel pops out of the restroom. Looks both ways and continues on tip toes. Looks into rooms with open doors until she finds her Mom’s room number.
Takes a deep breath.
Disappears into the room.
INT. MOM’S ROOM – CONTINUOUS
Rachel let’s her breath out.
SOUND of machines breath, suction, beeps in rhythm with one another.
Rachel sees her Mom hooked up to machines.
Paralyzed with shock. Hot tears pour down her face.
Quiet guttural sobs. Tears flying from her face.
Rachel at a loss. Sits in the chair. Stares at her Mom for a long time.
Finally, Rachel forces herself to stop crying.
Steps close to her Mom to get a good look at her.
RACHEL
(whispers)
Mom? Hi Mom? You probably don’t want me here. That’s okay. You can stay sleeping.
Waits.
RACHEL
I came to tell you that Uncle Ben is dead… He’ killed himself… shot himself in the head.
Rachel takes her guitar out of its case and straps it over her shoulder.
She puts her ear up to the door and listens.
Then gets close to her mom.
RACHEL
How bout I sing for you. That ought to wake you up. Or at least make your nose wrinkle. You always hated when I sang. I always thought it was cause I was no good. I thought I’d never sing again. But I like to sing. I’m in a really good band.
Tunes up guitar.
RACHEL
I wrote you a song. Well a lot of them are about you. I guess. But this is my favorite.
Sighs.
RACHEL
I’m nervous and don’t even know if you can hear me. That’s crazy. … Okay. Here goes.
Strums the wrong chord.
RACHEL
Jeez. Come on. You’re not that girl anymore.
Rachel plays and sings softly to her Mom, accompanied by more tears.
Eleanor enters.
Rachel starts.
RACHEL
You scared me.
ELEANOR
Visiting hours are over.
RACHEL
I haven’t seen my mom in a really long time.
ELEANOR
She never mentioned having a daughter. And anyways, you can’t be making noise in here. It’s after bed time. // Everyone is asleep.
RACHEL
Wait. I recognize you.
ELEANOR
Yes, you’re the young lady who almost knocked me on my tush the other day.
RACHEL
Thank you for having them call me.
ELEANOR
Like i said, no mention of a daughter.
RACHEL
Do you know my mom? Your’e not the same eleanor I met when I was a kid?
ELEANOR
You need to go. You can come back during visiting hours if you want. It’s up to you. But she won’t even know you’re here. She’s been unconscious a long time.
RACHEL
Is she gonna wake up? Ever?
Eleanor shrugs.
ELEANOR
Visiting hours are long over. Dear.
RACHEL
So your’e not the same Eleanor —
Eleanor is gone.
-
Robert Wood’s Completed Act 3
What I learned doing this assignment is that I’m going to have a huge amount of additions to make in the rewrite phase!
EXT. FAMILY HOUSE – DAY
A haunting grey winter day.
Front door opens – Matt emerges, followed tentatively by Bert. Matt looks up at the sky.
MATT
You better be sure about this.
Bert searches himself – he’s missing something.
MATT
What is it?
BERT
If I knew that I wouldn’t be standing here like an old fool patting my pockets!
MATT
What did you normally take with you out on the lake?
Bert goes through a mental checklist. A lightbulb goes off! Turns back into the house.
Matt stands on doorstep as a 1980-vintage car pulls over on the road in front of the house.
Matt nearly recognizes the car and takes a step toward it as Young Bert and Young Matt (downcast, dragging a backpack) emerge from the house.
YOUNG MATT
But I want to go with you guys!
YOUNG BERT
You’ll have a fun sleepover with Sam at his house.
The WOMAN driving the car waves to them. Young Bert waves back. The backseat window rolls down revealing SAM, 10.
MATT
(under his breath)
Sam.
SAM
Come-on, Matt! Look, I’ve got the new Star Wars figures!
Sam waves two Star Wars action figures out the window.
YOUNG MATT
(to Young Bert)
Star Wars is stupid.
YOUNG BERT
I thought you liked Star Wars?
YOUNG MATT
Let me go with you.
YOUNG BERT
Sorry, not today, bud — Harris and I have a bunch of boring work to take care of. You can come again next time.
Young Matt sulks.
YOUNG BERT
Okay?
YOUNG MATT
Okay.
YOUNG BERT
All right — now cheer up, and go and have a good time.
Young Bert ruffles Young Matt’s hair.
YOUNG BERT
See you tomorrow.
The boy goes to the car and gets in. Waves as the car drives off.
Matt and Young Bert turn in near unison back to the house.
Harris stands in the doorway.
HARRIS
Now I feel bad.
YOUNG BERT
Don’t worry — he’ll have fun. So will we!
Bert steps forward in the doorway, triumphantly raising his hand…
BERT
Binoculars!
Bert strides to Matt’s car with every ounce of enthusiasm Young Matt lacked.
EXT. CONVENIENCE STORE – DAY
Matt exits convenience store with a bag of supplies for the day…
INT. CAR – DAY
Bert waits in the car.
Matt slips into the drivers seat and hands the bag to Bert, who rummages through it.
BERT
Trying to save money on the retirement home?
MATT
What are you talking about?
BERT
This stuff will kill me! Pringles and chocolate bars.
MATT
And sandwiches and water!
BERT
My salvation.
MATT
Live a little — this trip’s your idea, remember?
BERT
Hard to forget when you keep reminding me.
EXT. BOAT RENTAL PLACE – DAY
Matt and Bert walk down the dock with the BOAT RENTAL LADY.
BOAT RENTAL LADY
Not too many customers this time of year.
BERT
Off season’s my favorite time for fishing.
BOAT RENTAL LADY
You haven’t got any fishing gear.
BERT
More of a scouting expedition this time, really.
MATT
The old man misses being out on the water.
BOAT RENTAL LADY
Well, you’re the exception I’d say.
MATT
Yeah, we’re crazy that way.
BOAT RENTAL LADY
First rental this week. Don’t know why I’m not on a beach in Mexico right now.
She stops in front of the rental boat and hands Matt the key.
MATT
Thanks.
She turns and walks away.
BOAT RENTAL LADY
Don’t be late.
Matt and Bert exchange glances — she’s a charmer — and step onto the boat.
EXT. BOAT ON LAKE – DAY
Calm, cool, grey day on the water.
Matt and Bert bob around in the boat; Bert staring through binoculars.
MATT
No sign of it — not even a ripple.
BERT
Don’t give up — the day’s still young.
MATT
The phony cheerfulness isn’t fooling anyone, Bert.
BERT
I know it’s out here, somewhere…
MATT
Eventually you’re gonna have to accept that it’s futile.
BERT
(sudden anger)
This is my last chance! After this, what?! Dribbling onto a fucking bib!
(calmer)
We just need to give it a little more time, that’s all… You think you can do that for me?
MATT
Yeah… Yeah, of course I can.
Bert resumes scanning with binoculars.
Young Bert and Harris are now with them on the boat; Young Bert’s eyes also glued to binoculars.
HARRIS
Work, work, work.
YOUNG BERT
Huh?
HARRIS
Ergomania. The obsessive need to work.
YOUNG BERT
It’s what we’re out here for.
HARRIS
I know, but I’m going to forget what you look like without those things glued to your face.
YOUNG BERT
I look the same as I did this morning.
HARRIS
Not the point — take a break, enjoy the view.
YOUNG BERT
Maybe you’re right…
HARRIS
Here — let me help you…
Harris makes a quick grab for Bert’s binoculars. Bert reflexively pulls away. A quick fumble.
The binoculars fly out of Bert’s hand, plunge into the dark water, and disappear.
YOUNG BERT
Fuck!
HARRIS
Oh my God!
YOUNG BERT
What did you do that for?!
HARRIS
I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to–
YOUNG BERT
I didn’t mean to — What good is that?
HARRIS
I’ll jump in — dive for them.
YOUNG BERT
Nah — it’s no use. They’re long gone. Sunk like a stone.
Harris reaches for Young Bert’s shoulder…
HARRIS
I really am sorry.
Young Bert pulls away.
HARRIS
I’ll buy you a new pair when we get back. Promise.
Harris stands directly before Young Bert and puts hands on shoulders.
HARRIS
I can make it up to you, you know…
Harris moves in for a kiss… but Young Bert pulls away again.
HARRIS
What’s the matter?
Young Bert looks at him like, “Isn’t it obvious?”
HARRIS
They’re just binoculars.
He reaches out for Young Bert again…
YOUNG BERT
Not now. All right? Let’s just focus on what we’re out here for…
HARRIS
Okay.
Bert puts down his binoculars.
BERT
Where the hell is it, Matty?
MATT
Your guess…
BERT
It’s out here… the monster… I can feel it.
MATT
I know you can, Bert.
BERT
There’s one place everything returns to…
YOUNG BERT
That’s it! I know where she’s hiding.
HARRIS
Where’s that?
YOUNG BERT
Rattlesnake Island… Squally Point…
BERT
Home.
EXT. BOAT ON LAKE – DAY (SHORT WHILE LATER)
Matt and Bert power through the water, searching as they go…
BERT
That’s where legend says its den is — an underwater cave at Squally Point.
MATT
I remember, but it’s never been found there either.
BERT
No-one’s gone looking at the right time! The big searches were always in the summer. Wrong.
MATT
Good tourism?
BERT
Summertime it’s out and active. There’s three hundred and fifty square kilometers of lake and it could be having lunch anywhere!
MATT
I hate to break it to you, but the lake’s the same size in the winter.
BERT
Yes, but it’s colder! If it slows down in the colder waters it might just hibernate. And if it does…
MATT
It might just be at home.
BERT
Squally Point.
MATT
But if it’s hibernating and down in its cave den we still won’t find it. Unless you have an underwater drone I don’t know about?
BERT
Let’s just hope it comes up occasionally for air.
MATT
Right!
Bert smiles as Matt gets into the game.
BERT
There’s the old Matty. You’re remembering the good times!
MATT
I never forgot.
BERT
The fun we used to have…
MATT
Yeah, but that was then.
BERT
And you’re the big man now.
MATT
It was childish. A waste of time.
BERT
Was it?
MATT
Gotta grow up sometime.
BERT
Why?
MATT
Oh, come on!
BERT
No, really. That sounds a lot like settling. Giving up on your dreams.
MATT
It’s called being an adult.
BERT
Maybe that’s the problem, huh? Maybe I never did that…
EXT. BOAT ON LAKE – RATTLESNAKE ISLAND – DAY
The boat approaches Rattlesnake Island.
Matt starts steering a berth around the island, but Bert is drawn toward it…
BERT
The monster…
MATT
Yeah, we’re heading to Squally Point.
BERT
No. The monster… I can feel it.
MATT
What, here?
Bert nods.
MATT
The island?
Matt slows the boat.
BERT
It’s here, Matty. It’s here!
Bert’s eyes tear up. He fights to not be overwhelmed by the wave of emotion.
Matt brings the boat to a stop and goes to Bert.
MATT
Are you okay?
BERT
The monster… It’s here… It’s on the water.
MATT
It could be out there, Bert. It could be anywhere…
BERT
No… it’s here. It’s here, I tell you!
Bert is nearly overwhelmed with emotion again.
MATT
What is this about?
BERT
The island. Bring us closer.
Matt, with a concerned eye on Bert, revs up the engine and aims toward Rattlesnake Island.
Bert appears halfway between horror/Hell and salvation. (Hell and damnation’s just salvation upside down.)
The boat slows to a gentle coast as it nears the island, its prow barely disturbing the silver-sleek surface.
BERT
The monster… it’s here.
MATT
How do you know that? I haven’t seen anything…
BERT
I have.
MATT
Are we still looking for Ogopogo?
BERT
This is the place… The monster’s always been here…
MATT
What are you talking about? Maybe we should go back–
BERT
NO!! We’re not going back!
Emotions flood Bert again as he looks toward the island.
MATT
What are you seeing?
BERT
The monster…
MATT
Was it that day?
Bert almost acknowledges it was…
MATT
That day you sent me off for a sleepover?
Young Bert and Harris are on the boat with them. Young Bert talks business…
YOUNG BERT
Literally hundreds of sightings since 1872. They can’t all be wrong, you know.
HARRIS
No, they can’t.
YOUNG BERT
It can’t all be God-damned thermal stratification waves!
HARRIS
You’re right.
YOUNG BERT
Damn right I am.
Harris steps closer to Young Bert.
HARRIS
And you’re very hot when you’re right.
He leans in for a kiss.
YOUNG BERT
Again with this?
HARRIS
Yeah, of course. What the heart wants…
YOUNG BERT
It doesn’t always get.
HARRIS
Why not? You were into me yesterday.
YOUNG BERT
Yeah, well… that was then.
HARRIS
And right now?
YOUNG BERT
I just don’t think I should be doing this. It’s wrong.
HARRIS
It’s not wrong.
YOUNG BERT
A mistake.
HARRIS
It’s not a mistake. I’m not a mistake… and neither are you. Not the real you — and you know you want me!
YOUNG BERT
I don’t know what I want! I don’t even know what I am!
HARRIS
Let me help you remember…
Harris tries to kiss Young Bert again.
Young Bert rebuffs him with a shove, but Harris persists.
A brief struggle ensues and Harris’s Nessie pin is knocked off his lapel and falls to boat floor.
The boat rocks under their weight. Harris loses his balance, slips and falls.
His head hits the side of the boat as he falls overboard.
Harris hits the water, unconscious.
YOUNG BERT
Oh my God, Harris! Harris!!
Not breathing, Harris begins to sink down into the dark water…
Young Bert dives in after him, submerging into the depths.
He surfaces again, gasping for air, then plunges under the surface again. Dark water swirls in his wake.
Over and over, he dives down and resurfaces, until he is so exhausted and breathless and frozen by the frigid winter water that he can barely stay afloat.
Hardly able to grasp the rungs of the boat ladder, Young Burt struggles to pull himself up and back into the boat, where he collapses, cold and shivering.
EXT. BOAT ON WATER – RATTLESNAKE ISLAND – DAY (LATER)
Young Bert sits, huddled in a blanket, staring vacantly in shocked silence into the water. How long has he been sitting like this? An eternity.
He notices a smear of red on the edge of the boat where Harris hit his head.
He breaks into devastated sobs.
Then, panic!
He looks around for signs of other boats. There are none.
He grabs a cloth and cleans the blood from the side of boat.
A glance downward breaks his heart again…
Harris’s Nessie pin lies on the floor of the boat.
He picks it up and puts it in his pocket.
-
Andrea Cabañas Finish ACT 3
What I learned with this is that I had to add an extra scene before my turning point, so my protagonist feels a bit more frustrated with her life and decisions, which will enhance her anger, therefore, making her change her next actions. I also made a few corrections and changed some dialogues.
INT. KATRINA’S HOUSE – ZOE’S BEDROOM – DAY
SERIES OF SHOTS
Zoe tries to work, to concentrate.
She sees an EMAIL from another potential client, grabs the number and calls them. She makes notes.
She stares at her phone. Paces around the bedroom, drinks water.
Zoe talks to more people over the phone.
She stares at her phone again, sees PAULA’s number and calls. Paula doesn’t answer. Zoe tosses the mobile phone on her bed and leaves the bedroom.
Her phone rings, it’s Juan. But she doesn’t come back.
— ADDED SCENE —
INT. RESTAURANT – NIGHT
Zoe has dinner with Georgia and her new boyfriend, STEWART (60), dark skin, bright perfect smile, a charming man.
They drink wine, laugh while waiting for their dessert.
STEWART
… And guess who was there, as soon as I get out of the elevator?
ZOE
Mick Jagger.
Stewart burst in a laugh.
STEWART
No! The wasp!
All three laugh.
GEORGIA
Mick Jagger, loved that, haha.
STWEART
No… The story with Mick was years ago.
He chuckles.
ZOE
And what happened to the wasp?
STEWART
I killed it.
ZOE
Nooooo!
Zoe leans back to the chair, have a sip of her wine.
GEORGIA
Now you’re in trouble. You couldn’t have said that. Not for her.
STEWART
Whoops. Sorry.
ZOE
Don’t worry. I knew you weren’t perfect.
They laugh.
ZOE
It must be cool working in the music industry, playing with famous musicians. Have you stopped playing?
STEWART
Every now and then someone calls me to play, but it’s just for fun.
He sips his wine.
STEWART
My wife died and I was left alone to take care of my son. It was hard to reconcile a musician’s life with a child on your own, you know.
The WAITER (20) brings the DESSERTS.
GEORGIA
Oh, wow! If I knew the tiramisu was that big I’d have shared one with you.
ZOE
If you can’t eat it, I’ll do it.
GEORGIA
So, how’s your new project going? It’s Marlon’s coffee, right?
ZOE
Yep, it’s all good. Nothing big, just a simple renovation, easy and quick.
GEORGIA
Mmm… And did you let your previous client know that you won’t–
Zoe tilts her head with a smirk.
ZOE
Not yet. But I will.
Georgia rolls her eyes, looks away and stares at something.
She sees James, who arrives accompanied by SILVIE (30), blondie, curly hair. They come embraced and seem intimate.
GEORGIA
Mhmmm… Don’t look now but–isn’t that guy James?
Zoe looks over her shoulder. Stewart tilts his head to look at him.
GEORGIA
(whispers)
Jesus, I said not now.
Zoe freezes in disbelieve. She looks back to her plate, rests her forehead on her hand, elbow on the table.
ZOE
Can’t believe it.
Stewart glances at James, then at Zoe.
STEWART
You okay?
Zoe blows her lips.
ZOE
I wasn’t expecting it, but–
GEORGIA
Wasn’t expecting it? What do you think he does when he disappears?
Stewart pretends not to listen, he eats his dessert.
ZOE
I know, but seeing it?
Georgia holds Zoe’s hand.
GEORGIA
Look at me. This man is a prick, you know that. He doesn’t deserve even one more tear from you. Enough. Besides, you have other things to worry about, don’t you think?
Georgia taps the tip of her nose. Zoe chuckles and looks at Stewart.
ZOE
Men. You really know how to mess up with our lives, hey!
Stewart puts his hands up.
STEWART
Don’t look at me. I’m not doing anything here and I’m really happy with her.
He places a kiss on Georgia’s cheek.
MOMENT LATER
They stand up and pay the bill when Georgia makes the move toward James, who looks surprised seeing Zoe.
GEORGIA
Oh, look who’s here! How are you, James?
JAMES
Hi, Georgia, Zoe… How are you?
He glances at Zoe and smiles at both of them. He motions to stand up, but Georgia stops him.
GEORGIA
We’re fine. What about you?
She glances at Silvie.
GEORGIA
And you are…?
SILVIE
Silvie. I’m his girlfriend.
Georgia glances at Zoe, who scoffs softly and looks away.
GEORGIA
Girlfriend? Good on you, darling.
She motions to Stewart.
STEWART
And this is Stewart, my boyfriend.
They shake hands. James glances at Zoe, who’s already walking away.
JAMES
Are you leaving?
GEORGIA
Yep, we had a nice dinner. We love this restaurant, don’t we?
Stewart smiles.
GEORGIA
Well, have a lovely dinner. Tara!
They leave them behind.
EXT. FRONT OF RESTAURANT – NIGHT
Georgia and Stewart arrive, Zoe dries a tear with the back of her hand.
STEWART
I’ll call an Uber.
Georgia nods and faces Zoe.
GEORGIA
Don’t do this.
ZOE
I know, but–I never thought I would feel this so hard.
GEORGIA
Look at me. It’s time for you to let him go. You have Paula–
ZOE
Paula! Right. Another one who betrayed me.
GEORGIA
Whatever. You are a gorgeous woman, strong, get laid with anyone you want…
Zoe chuckles and looks away.
ZOE
But then I come back to my mom’s home and laid down on my own. This sucks.
Georgia sighs.
GEORGIA
I know. But one step at a time, you know that. Forget about James, concentrate on your new project, tell Paula to get lost–
Zoe’s phone RINGS, it’s Juan. She shows Georgia.
GEORGIA
… And get away from that narco.
Zoe chuckles.
ZOE
Narco–I love you.
GEORGIA
Me too.
They embrace. The Uber driver arrives and all three get into the car.
A NEW PLAN
INT. JUAN’S HOUSE – LOUNGE – DAY
Zoe waits for Juan in the lounge. Adriano comes out of nowhere.
ADRIANO
Señorita.
She jerks in fright.
ADRIANO
Apologies. I didn’t mean scarring you.
ZOE
(clears her throat)
No, that’s okay.
ADRIANO
Mi patrón is ready to see you. Please, come.
She smiles nervously; he leads her to the
OFFICE
Juan opens a bright smile seeing her.
— CONTINUES —
-
TIM’S COMPLETED ACT 3 – DAY 20
What I learned doing this assignment is to keep plugging away and writing crappy scenes that are barely more than outlines. My first draft is going to be about half the length I need, but I know my future rewrites will be fleshing out the scenes and adding dialogue.
I’m just going to post the outline.
22. MIDPOINT TP: Ellie selects Duke for adoption
Mid-point turning point: Against her father’s wishes, Ellie picks Duke to adopt, because he
looks miserable just like her.
23. REACTION: Duke settles in at Emma’s house.
Duke has no choice but to try to be good until he has a plan and opportunity to escape.
Sunny comes with him, hitching a ride on the back of the car.
Duke sees pictures of Emma before she lost her leg – skiing, playing soccer, etc. She looks
happy.
24. PLACEHOLDER: The Bad Dogs Crew discusses what to do about Duke
Mort and Daz feel a bit sorry about getting Duke in trouble, but Rex sees the silver lining. He
can use Duke for intel now that he’s inside the dog catcher’s house.
25. Duke and Sunny need a new plan
Sunny brings fortune cookies to Duke and reads more cookie wisdom.
Duke explains he has to be good for a while. Sunny says good is his natural state, so don’t
fight it.
But Duke insists he’ll get out, live free, and help Sunny find her family.
Sunny says not to worry about her. Just stay out of trouble and make a home for himself.
26. Rex asks Duke to spy on his new owner
At the fenced dog park, Rex talks to Duke through the fence and mocks him for not being
free.
He tells Duke to get information on the dog catcher – his routine, likes, dislikes, etc. Anything
that they can use against him.
Duke agrees, but he makes Rex promise to help him escape when the time is right. It’s a
deal, but with the devil.
27. PLACEHOLDER – Something with Emma’s dad showing his love for her
Need a scene where Duke sees that Emma is the most important thing in her dad’s life.
28. Duke plays with Emma
Duke plays catch with Emma. At first he drops the ball on her lap, for her to throw again. Next he places it on the the ground, forcing her to get up and walk to it.
She does, but she stumbles when she bends over and gets annoyed at Duke.
Watching from the window, Emma’s dad smiles. Duke is motivating her to get better.
29. PLACEHOLDER – The BBC continues to cause trouble in town.
The Bad Boys continue to terrorize people, knock over trash cans, etc.
Emma’s dad watches video of them from doorbell cams and traffic cameras. He desperately
wants to find where their hiding place is.
30. Emma defends Duke
Duke helps Emma walk up and down the steps. She loses her balance as the bottom of the
steps and as Duke tries to steady her, he bangs into a table, and knocks over a lamp,
breaking it.
This is like something that happens in Act 1 that Duke was blamed for, so he’s nervous.
Emma’s dad comes in to investigate the noise and sees Duke and right away thinks he did
it.
Emma speaks up quickly, saying it wasn’t him – SHE knocked over the lamp.
Duke is surprised and touched.
31. DILEMMA: Does Duke risk all to help Sunny?
Sunny is lonely, tired, and is now being threatened by the BBC.
Duke is running out of time to reunite her with her family.
But he risks losing all if he’s caught breaking rules.
He catches a scent of the flowers she described as her home. He now knows he has to act.
32. LOW OF LOWS: Duke accidentally hurts Emma – strike 3
While defending Sunny from the BBC, Duke accidentally knocks over Emma.
Her dad sees it all and has given up on Duke – he must go back to the pound and be
exterminated.
Duke escapes but he has nowhere to go – hunted by Emma’s dad and the BBC.
-
ScreenwritingU
30 Day Script – Day 20 Assignment: Finish Act 3
Dana’s Completed Act 3
What have I learned from this assignment?
I wrote my outlines at one time, so there were no other outlines to complete for this assignment. I learned, however, to write the Reaction Scene and my Turning Point first to keep my Middle Scenes in sync with the storyline and plotting.
SCRIPT – ACT 3
INT. RUSSIAN SOCIAL CLUB – NIGHT
It’s a dark, long, private club. Very few people, shadows of people, mostly men.
OKSANA VOLKOV, 50’s, elegant, long raven-black hair, black attire, formidable. She sits at a private roundtable in the very back steeping her Russian tea.
A RUSSIAN BODYGUARD slides up and quietly whispers in her ear. She listens, approves and nods. The bodyguard signals another.
Frank and Jack are ushered into view by another bodyguard. Frank stands in front. He seems to know what’s happening. Jack is wary and uncertain.
Oksana smiles a subtle, patient smile.
OKSANA
Frank Valentino. We meet in the flesh — after all these years. And this must be the notorious Jack Donovan. I’ve heard about you.
(beat)
Please. Sit.
Jack and Frank take opposite sides, placing Oksana in the middle of the conversation to come.
OKSANA (CONT’D)
Would you care for some tea? It’s Russian. So be warned.
FRANK
I could use some coffee.
OKSANA
(smiling)
Of course.
(to a bodyguard)
Bring two espressos for our guests. They look in need of a jolt.
Oksana waves off he other bodyguard for privacy. She stirs her tea pensively.
OKSANA (CONT’D)
Okay, gentlemen. What brings you here to see me on this fine day?
FRANK
You know I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t have to be.
OKSANA
Nobody ever wants to be here, Frank. You, of all people, know that.
Oksana sips her tea. She and Frank are sharing a moment. Jack watches their interaction, somewhat lost.
FRANK
We need your help.
OKSANA
I’m sure you do. Torturing and killing that poor technician and his wife. You’re wanted men now.
JACK
We didn’t kill anybody.
OKSANA
That was your defense at your last trial. How did it work out for you?
A man brings Jack and Frank their coffees and quickly leaves.
FRANK
We need a place to lay low. Figure things out.
OKSANA
I never refuse an accommodation. But nothing is free. My help comes with a price. And you know what I want.
JACK
What in the hell are you doing? Asking her for help? Are you out of your fucking mind? Do you want us to be obligated? Do you know who she is?
Oksana remains patient, smiling and sipping her tea. She looks to Frank.
OKSANA
He doesn’t know, does he?
Frank says nothing.
OKSANA (CONT’D)
Frank did favors for us while he was in prison. A witness here. An informant there.
Jack looks across the table at his partner, staggered. Frank just stars back, no emotion.
OKSANA (CONT’D)
Don’t judge your partner too harshly, Mr. Donovan. Prison has a way of bringing out a man’s more animal nature — as I’m sure you know. And serving our interests kept him alive…
(beat)
And you.
Jack shoots a stare at Oksana.
OKSANA (CONT’D)
Do you really think you survived prison by hiding in your little cell? Frank traded lives, his and yours, for men of less importance.
JACK
I didn’t ask him to do that.
OKSANA
Nonetheless, you’re here now due to your partner’s altruism. You should thank him. Without our protection, you would have been dead within six months of going inside. Governor Newbaum’s friends have a very long reach.
JACK
The governor?
OKSANA
You didn’t know?
Oksana studies the numb faces at her table. She feigns anger at herself.
OKSANA (CONT’D)
When will I ever learn to keep my mouth shut? It’s one of my biggest faults. Second to vengeance.
(she sips her tea)
Prosecuting you put the governor into office, but he needed to guarantee your conviction. That’s why he prosecuted you himself.
JACK
How do you know this?
OKSANA
Some rumors ring more true than others.
FRANK
Do you have your hooks in him?
OKSANA
No. And we don’t pilfer. But from time to time, we paid his friends for his services.
(she sips her tea)
Cultivating a politician takes time and money. Like a great artist or a writer. But even the most obedient pets run from their masters. It’s important to remind them who they serve.
JACK
And we’re the reminder.
OKSANA
His friends were concerned that he would forget them on his political ascension to Washington.
FRANK
And that’s why they got us out of prison?
OKSANA
Your pawns in a three dimensional game of chess with many players.
Jack and Frank look across the table at each other, finally recognizing the real power they’re up against.
OKSANA (CONT’D)
You’ve been so focused on the who of things, you would have been better served to focus on the why.
FRANK
You just told us why.
OKSANA
Not the why of you.
JACK
You mean Marcus Jones.
Oksana tips her cup of tea to Jack.
FRANK
Why don’t you tell us?
CLOSE SHOT – OKSANA
She smiles wrily, her cup to her lips.
OKSANA
What would be the fun of that?
She winks, smiles and sips her tea.
CUT TO:
INT. OFFICE – GOVERNOR’S HOME – NIGHT
Newbaum, angry and frustrated, paces back and forth. Douglas Hill stands near the door, listening.
Margery is more poised, allowing her husband to vent.
NEWBAUM
I don’t believe this. I DON’T BELIEVE THIS!
(to Hill)
How could you let this happen? You were supposed to muscle these guys out of state. And now they’re out there taking revenge on everybody who put them away!
HILL
They can’t get to you, governor, if that’s what you’re concerned about.
NEWBAUM
What makes you so sure? Because you’ve done such a bang-up job so far? And don’t think for one minute you’re not in their crosshairs.
MARGERY
Relax. Douglas is right. You’re not in any physical danger. But we have to repair the damage and protect your legacy.
NEWBAUM
My legacy? And exactly what is my legacy, Margery? My prison reform program just let out to maniacs!
Newbaum stops, thinking, dejected.
NEWBAUM (CONT’D)
I’ll have to withdraw from VP consideration.
Margery doesn’t like that news.
MARGERY
Douglas? Will you excuse us?
HILL
Of course.
Hill closes the door softly behind him.
Newbaum looks at his wife, mystified.
NEWBAUM
What?
MARGERY
You’re not withdrawing from anything. Do you understand? We’ve come too far. We’ve been preparing for this opportunity since law school. And now that we’re a breath away from the vice presidency, you want to hide like a nervous virgin on her wedding night? It’s time for you to strap on your jock step into the game.
NEWBAUM
What do you suggest I do, Margery? The press is killing me on this.
MARGERY
You do what all good politicians do. You pivot. You’ll hold a press conference tomorrow and talk about the rule of law. You’ll praise the merits of your program but put the blame on the parole board for not consulting you before they released these two men. You will call them by name and assure the public they will be found and punished. I’ll make sure you receive the right questions from the right reporters. And you’ll show the public you’re not afraid — and spin this moment into victory.
NEWBAUM
Maybe they should offer you the vice presidency.
MARGERY
Don’t think I wouldn’t accept it. My ambitions exceed far beyond your ego. Or do you honestly think I’ve stayed with you all these years just play the admiring wife and revel in your achievements? I’ve tolerated your whores and your affairs, the stupid little girls that bring you coffee. Who do think hired your chief of staff? It was safer for you to be involved with one whore than aiming that thing of yours at every bitch in heat.
Newbaum is dumbfounded, gazing at his wife, embarrassed.
MARGERY (CONT’D)
I’ve cleaned up after your messes for years to protect our political future. And tomorrow, when you step before the public, you’re going to prove to me that you were worth it.
NEWBAUM
What have you done?
MARGERY
What you never had the balls to do.
Margery heads for the doors.
MARGERY (CONT’D)
Get some sleep. I don’t want you looking ragged tomorrow.
Margery leaves Newbaum standing in the middle of the room, totally alone.
CUT TO:
EXT. SWIMMING POOL – UNDERWATER – NIGHT
Jorgensen’s body slides into the water buck naked, drugged. He floats for a moment.
EXT. SWIMMING POOL – JORGENSEN’S HOUSE – CONTINUOUS
Simon stands at the edge of the pool making sure Jorgensen doesn’t recover and swim out. His phone BUZZES.
SIMON
Hello? — I’m taking care of that now.
(he listens)
Yes, I heard. I assumed your Mr. Hill was up to his usual stellar performance.
(he listens)
That surprises me. I knew Valentino had the sand, but not Donovan. He’s still clinging to his last remnants of humanity.
INT. A ROOM IN THE GOVERNOR’S HOME – CONTINUOUS
Margery is on her cell phone.
MARGERY
I need that hard drive. And if not them, then who? If there’s another player, we need to know.
INTERCUT CONVERSATION
SIMON
That’s not our arrangement.
MARGERY
It’s in your best interest as well as mine. I’m not the one who went into that little shit’s cell that night. I’ll make it worth your while. But I need this resolved in forty-eight hours.
SIMON
I’ll see what I can do. But try to keep Mr. Hill on a lease. He tries to impress the governor too much.
Margery hangs up. Woorried.
EXT. SWIMMING POOL – JORGENSEN’S HOUSE – CONTINUOUS
Simon puts his phone away. He watches Jorgensen for a moment. Satisfied the man’s dead, he heads out.
Jorgensen floats in the pool.
CUT TO:
INT. A LOUNGE – NIGHT
The room has a decided Russian flair to the furnishings.
Frank pours two whiskeys from a snifter.
He hands a glass to Jack sitting in a chair. Jack takes it, reluctantly. His mind is elsewhere.
JACK
What did you do for these people?
FRANK
It’s blood under the bridge.
JACK
Not any more. You’ve compromised me. Whatever you owe them, I now owe them.
FRANK
Whatever I’ve done is on me, not you. Oksana knows that.
Jack can’t sit still, and frustrated, shoots from his chair.
JACK
Oksana Volkov doesn’t forgive debt. I know what she did to her uncle.
Frank ignores his friend and slides in chair.
JACK (CONT’D)
(staring into his drink)
You’ve cursed us both. I’ll never get back to my daughter.
FRANK
Take a drink.
Jack signs heavy, then swallows his whiskey in a gulp.
FRANK (CONT’D)
The rumors about her uncle are false.
(long beat)
It was her father.
JACK
Oh, that’s much better. How you know you can even trust her? She could be selling us out right now.
FRANK
Oksana may be a gangster, but she’s also Russian. They never backstab a deal. It’s bad for business. That makes this place the safest hole in town. And right now, we have every cop and state agency looking for us. We need to lay low and figure this shit out. So before you curse us to eternal damnation, pour yourself a drink and chill.
Jack pours himself another whiskey.
JACK
Why would Newbaum want Marcus Jones killed?
FRANK
A twenty-year-old black activist? He was a threat of some kind. And remember, Newbaum was the AG back then.
JACK
Riding our ass to the governor’s mansion.
(thinking)
We need to find someone who knew this kid.
FRANK
Who? The family won’t talk to us, even if you could find them.
JACK
Then maybe we should to talk to Marcus himself.
A KNOCK on the door.
Oksana enters without being invited in.
OKSANA
Good evening, gentlemen. I hope you find these accommodations to your satisfaction.
JACK
They’re fine. Thank you.
OKSANA
I’ll station one of my men outside at the door. If you need anything during the night, just ask him.
(looking to Frank)
I heading to bed.
Jack’s not sure why she’s telling them this. Frank hesitates, gulp his drink, and with a sheepish look to Jack, stands and joins Oksana.
JACK
You’re full of surprises, aren’t you?
OKSANA
Would you care for companionship?
JACK
No, thank you.
OKSANA
I’m sure your partner will tell you about it in the morning — but not too early. Good night, Mr. Donovan.
Oksana leaves. Frank shrugs at Jack and follows her out.
Jack, alone, shakes his head and finishes his drink.
CUT TO:
INT. PRESS BRIEFING ROOM – DAY
CLOSE SHOT – NEWBAUM
NEWBAUM
Events over the past twenty-four hours shock the conscience.
Newbaum stands at a podium. Margery and Calvin Brown stand on opposite sides like bookends behind him, framed by American flags. The press — unseen – tosses questions at him.
NEWBAUM (CONT’D)
The murders of Donald Armstrong and his wife, Barbara, were both brutal and cold-blooded. My office is now coordinating with local, state and federal agencies in the manhunt for Jack Donovan and Frank Valentino, both believed armed and dangerous. Civilized society cannot and will not tolerate lawless and barbaric behavior. We will bring these men to justice for the heinous murders they have committed.
The press ERUPT in a BARRAGE OF QUESTIONS.
NEWBAUM (CONT’D)
Yes?
REPORTER 1 (O.S.)
Given these murders were committed by men released under your early release program, do you think the program is in jeopardy?
NEWBAUM
The program has demonstrated a low recidivism rate based on the number of prisoners qualified for release. These murders are an anomaly. It’s unfortunate the parole board didn’t consult with me before releasing these men. I would have advised against it. And while adjustments may be necessary, I still believe prison reform is a humane endeavor.
(pointing)
Yes?
REPORTER 2
Have the police determined a motive for these killings?
NEWBAUM
I don’t believe I should comment on the details of the investigation.
(pointing)
Yes?
REPORTER 3
Marty Jorgensen, the parole officer for both Donovan and Valentino, was found drowned in his swimming pool. And Charles Lunger, the guard who testified at trial against both men, was killed in an explosion at his home. Do the police suspect these deaths may be related?
NEWBAUM
Not to my knowledge. Mr. Lunger’s death has been ruled an accident. And Mr. Jorgensen was apparently intoxicated. Their deaths are a coincidence, not a conspiracy.
(pointing)
Yes?
REPORTER 4
Do you believe releasing Donovan and Valentino will now impact your chances to become VP on the ticket?
NEWBAUM
I’m not concerned with politics at this time. I’m focused on bringing these men to justice.
REPORTER 5
I notice Calvin Brown with you at the podium? Is there a reason for his involvement today?
NEWBAUM
Mr. Brown is here on an advisory capacity and is representing the Jones family during this crisis. Thank you very much.
Newbaum waves and leaves the podium, followed by Margery and Brown. A BARRAGE OF QUESTIONS follow after him.
CUT TO:
EXT. CEMETERY – DAY
A family plot with a large headstone reading Jones Family. A bouquet of wilted flower in a vase. Three gravestones read:
Roberta Robbins Marcus Jones Henry Jones
1969 to 1997 1990 to 2010 1940 – 2015
The plot is for four. An empty plot sits nest to Henry Jones.
MAN’S VOICE (O.S.)
This is it. The Jones family plot.
The CEMETERY MANAGER stands next to Jack and Frank. The three of them stare down at the gravestones.
MANAGER
We buried the father a few years ago. Nice family. Not a lot of mourners, though. His wife and a few friends.
JACK
You remember his burial?
MANAGER
After what those cops did to his son, it’s hard to forget. I hope they rot in hell.
Jack and Frank glance at one another.
FRANK
How’d he die?
MANAGER
Heart attack, I think.
JACK
Who’s the lady on the end?
The manager flips through papers on his clipboard.
MANAGER
Roberta Robbins. It says here she was a niece. Why did you guys say you’re interested?
JACK
Routine. The insurance company is crossing T’s, dotting I’s. Do you have an address for the family?
MANAGER
Maybe back at the office. I don’t know how current it is.
FRANK
Those roses look fresh. Is somebody maintaining the plot?
MANAGER
A flower company arrives every two weeks. The driver swaps out the old with the new. Been doing it since the boy died.
FRANK
You know the name?
MANAGER
(trying to remember)
Mae Flowers — I think. With an E. Anyway, I should probably get back. Stop into the office on your way out. I’ll give you what we have.
The manager heads back to the office.
FRANK
You see what I see? Daddy was a fucking senior citizen. He was fifty when the kid was born.
JACK
I remember the parents in court. It always struck me odd how old they looked. More like grandparents.
FRANK
What are we looking at here? Daddy and his baby momma?
JACK
Would you let your husband bury his baby momma in the family plot?
FRANK
Then what?
JACK
Not sure. But I know who we can ask. Do you remember the name of Mrs. Jones?
FRANK
(remembering)
Mae — with an E.
CUT TO:
INT. GOVERNOR’S OFFICE – CONTINUOUS
Newbaum storms in followed by Margery and Brown.
NEWBAUM
(sarcastic)
Well, that went well.
MARGERY
You stopped the bleeding.
NEWBAUM
Are you kidding? They’re asking about Jorgensen and that dumb-ass guard. It they put those bodies on Donovan and Valentino, you can kiss the VP goodbye.
BROWN
You were forceful and direct in your response. Those questions won’t go anywhere.
NEWBAUM
You’d better hope they don’t. I’m not the only one here with my ass hanging out.
BROWN
My hands get singed, not burned.
NEWBAUM
Donovan and Valentino are working their way up the food chain. And they won’t stop at your hands.
A KNOCK on the door, and Douglas Hill enters.
NEWBAUM (CONT’D)
Where have you been?
Hill stops, stunned by the attack.
MARGERY
Douglas is head of your security team. He’s your liaison with law enforcement.
Newbaum waves a hand.
NEWBAUM
Fine. What have you learned?
HILL
Donovan and Valentino have gone underground. Word is they’re with the Russians now.
NEWBAUM
Oh, shit — Shit!
HILL
Valentino did favors for Oksana Volkov while he was inside.
MARGERY
What sort of favors?
HILL
Bodies.
NEWBAUM
Shit.
MARGERY
(to Brown)
Do we have any inroads there?
BROWN
I have clients who have friends in that world. I can make a few calls.
HILL
Oksana Volkov has a reputation for being loyal. And rumor has it — she and Valentino share a bed. She won’t give him up.
NEWBAUM
Fucking great! What am I suppose to do, sit here and wait for them to knock on the front door?
HILL
There may be a way to flush them out.
CLOSE SHOT – HILL
HILL (CONT’D)
But it’s ugly.
CUT TO:
EXT. MAE’S FLOWER SHOP – DAY
It’s a small, corner shop in the downtown. Lots of traffic and walk in customers.
INT. MAE’S FLOWER SHOP – CONTINUOUS
JILL, 30’s, a young girl wearing a florist apron stands at the counter completing an order for an older woman.
JILL
Okay, Mrs. Green. Your order is in the system. And we’ll have those daisies sent to your granddaughter the first of next week.
MRS. GREEN
She just moved into her college dorm. And daisies are her favorite.
JILL
I’m sure she’ll appreciate them.
MRS. GREEN
Thank you for your help. Goodbye, now.
JILL
Goodbye.
Mrs. Green heads for the front door. We hear the BELL RING when she opens the door.
WOMAN’S VOICE (O.S.)
Jill?
Jill looks to –
MAE FLOWERS, late 60’s, African American, grey hair, stands in the open door to the back office.
MAE
Why don’t you take your lunch now while it’s slow.
JILL
Are you sure?
MAE
Yes. It’s fine. Lock up when you leave and remember to put out the return sign.
JILL
Okay, Mrs. Jones.
Jill takes off her apron and gets ready to leave.
Mae closes the office door.
INT. OFFICE – FLOWER SHOP – CONTINUOUS
Mae closes the door and locks it. Jack stands behind the door. Mae is nervous, but in control. She looks to Jack. He motions her to a chair.
Frank stands next to chair. Mae sits down, carefully. The BELL RINGS — Jill has left the store. They’re alone.
MAE
Are you going to kill me?
JACK
No, Mrs. Jones. We’re not here to harm you.
MAE
I don’t have much money. My husband spent most of the settlement before he died.
FRANK
Twenty million dollars?
MAE
He acted like he’d won the lottery. Cars. Boats. Trips. Gambling. Other women. To him it was found money.
(beat)
And after the lawyer took his cut, all the other snakes descended on us. I was luck to have enough to buy this shop.
Jack sits down next to her.
JACK
I — we — always wanted to tell you how sorry we were about your son. But you have to know, Mrs. Jones, Frank and I didn’t kill Marcus.
Mae looks at both of them, not believing them.
JACK (CONT’D)
Marcus suffered from an disease that wouldn’t allow his blood to clot. He bled faster than anyone thought. The FBI report proved it. He was killed by someone at the station after he was put in the holding cell, but not by us.
Mae looks at them again, sheepish, almost guilty.
MAE
I know.
FRANK
Wait. What? What do you mean, you know?
MAE
Mr. Brown told my husband and me about the report before the civil trial started. He told us that it wasn’t our responsibility to fix the district attorney’s mistake. And if we did, we wouldn’t find justice for Marcus. He said if we went public about Marcus’ condition, no-one would be held accountable for his death.
FRANK
You mean you wouldn’t get paid.
Mae says nothing.
JACK
That’s not the reason you went along with it, though, was it?
MAE
My husband wasn’t an easy man to live with. And we were desperate for the money. He thought it would solve all of our problems. It just created more.
(almost pleading)
I am sorry for what happened to you. I truly am. I never wanted any of this to happen, but I didn’t know the right thing to do.
JACK
It’s not your fault, Mrs. Jones. But we need to know the truth now.
(beat)
Was Marcus your son?
MAE
No. He was my niece’s boy, Roberta.
FRANK
Why the lie?
MAE
Roberta was a prostitute. Her mother — my sister– was a drug addict. Heroine. And she let the street raise her daughter. And one day, Roberta got pregnant by a boy. A college student. A john. When she decided to not get an abortion, I thought her having a baby would get Roberta off the street, that she’d be a good mom. But after Marcus was born, she tried to blackmail the boy who got her pregnant. His family was rich, and she thought he’d pay to keep his black son a secret.
JACK
What happened to her?
MAE
A month after she blackmailed the boy, she was killed in a hit and run. The police never found the car. Not that they tried, given Roberta was a prostitute.
FRANK
Who was the father?
MAE
Roberta never told me. I guess she thought she was protecting us. But after she was killed, we decided to raise Marcus as our own to protect him. But my husband never wanted to have children. And as Marcus grew up, he and Henry fought — a lot. They did battle. And then one day, Henry to Marcus the truth, where he came from. That he was the son of a prostitute.
JACK
He went to find his real father, didn’t he?
MAE
He became obsessed with knowing. He even attended the same school his father attend just to find him.
FRANK
Did he?
MAE
He never told me.
JACK
But you know who he is, don’t you?
Mae nods.
MAE
Governor Newbaum is Marcus’ real father.
The realization hits both men hard. Frank turns away, his hands combing through his hair in frustration.
FRANK
Oh, Jesus!
JACK
How did you find out?
MAE
Marcus joined every activist group on campus. He protested everything. Racism, war, police. He was angry at the world. He hated everything and everybody. But he was obsessed with one person.
JACK
Newbaum.
MAE
Marcus new his father wanted to be governor and attended every rally where he spoke. He became a thorn in the attorney general’s backside. He spoke against him, challenged him to debates. Anything to get his father’s attention.
JACK
And when Newbaum’s security team did a background check, Newbaum discovered Marcus was his son from his mother’s name on his birth certificate.
Mae nods.
FRANK
Why didn’t you bring this out back then?
MAE
Mr. Brown said it would muddy the waters. That the motive needed to be about race to get real justice.
JACK
It wasn’t justice. Brown used what he knew to blackmail his way into power. Anybody who needed a favor from the governor would have to go through him. And that’s why Newbaum pressed the city to settle your civil suit before our trial, to cover up his motive and make our trail about race.
FRANK
The man murdered his own son and prosecuted us to give himself the governor’s office.
MAE
So what happens now?
Frank and Jack glance at one another.
JACK
You may have to hide for awhile. The governor is cleaning up his mess, eliminating witnesses.
FRANK
And framing us — again.
Frank’s phone RINGS and he steps aside to answer it.
MAE
I can’t leave. I have my business, my home, my life.
JACK
It’s won’t be forever. Just a few weeks.
Frank stands across the room, speaking to Oksana on the phone.
OKSANA (O.S.)
(On phone)
I’m sorry, Frank. I would never be the one to deliver this message if I didn’t have to. But they called me to get to you.
FRANK
What is it?
OKSANA (O.S.)
(on phone)
You need to have your partner call his wife.
(beat)
His daughter has been taken.
CUT TO:
INT. LIVING ROOM – DAY
Janice answers the door and Jack storms inside followed by Frank. Janice is frantic. She’s been crying, her eyes red.
JACK
Where is she?
JANICE
Gone! You bastard. I knew this had to be you. My daughter’s been taken because of you!
Janice slaps Jack across the face. Jack accepts it, and Janice backs away, face in her hands.
MARK JACOBS, Janice’s husband, takes Janice in his arms to calm her down.
MARK
We got a call from some man. He put Heidi on the phone. He told us not to call the police. That he’d be in touch.
JANICE
Who has my daughter?
JACK
I don’t know.
JANICE
Liar! You know exactly who has her. This is about you. About you and that boy you killed. You and your fucking partner!
The house phone on a side table RINGS. Everyone stops.
Jack answers the call.
JACK
Donovan.
HILL (O.S.)
(on phone)
We have your daughter.
JACK
What do you want?
HILL (O.S.)
(on phone)
You. And your partner. And the hard drive you took from the technician.
Jack hesitates, a furrowed brow. Confused.
HILL (O.S.) (CONT’D)
(on phone)
Personally, I never thought you had in you. The technician maybe. But the wife? That was fucked up.
(beat)
You still there?
JACK
I want proof of life.
A moment, soft SOUNDS. Then…
HEIDI (O.S.)
(oh phone; afraid)
Mommy?
Before Jack can speak, she’s gone. Jack fumes.
HILL (O.S.)
(on phone)
You know the score. No tricks. Just you and your partner. You lives for hers. Or she’s dead.
JACK
Where?
HILL (O.S.)
(on phone)
Call your Russian girlfriend in an hour. She’ll give you directions.
(beat)
Don’t fuck this up.
The phone goes dead.
JACK
She’s alive.
Janice nearly collapses in grief.
JACK (CONT’D)
They’ll trade. Heidi for us.
(to Frank)
And they want the technician’s hard drive.
FRANK
They don’t have it.
(beat)
Then who does?
Jack looks at Mark.
JACK
You’re a tech guy. You have a spare hard drive around here? The older the better.
MARK
I can find one. It’s encrypted.
JACK
Get it.
Mark heads off to find a hard drive.
FRANK
Where and when?
JACK
They’ll call your friend in an hour, give us directions.
(to Janice)
Get out of the house. Pack a bag and disappear. Find a cheap motel, something out of the way. I’ll call your cell when it’s over.
Janice steps in close to Jack.
JANICE
Bring her back to me. Please!
Jack takes her shoulders and peers resolute into her eyes.
JACK
Whoever did this is going to die. Every last one of them.
FRANK
It’s about fucking time.
Jack kisses her on the forehead.
Mark returns and hands Jack a hard drive.
MARK
It’s old. I don’t know what’s on it.
One last reassuring look, Jack follows Frank out and closes the front door.
CUT TO:
-
Lori’s Completed Act 3
What I learned is to keep moving forward. When I stop to analyze, I feel overwhelmed and stuck.
Added Scene to Scene to Act 3:
INT. THOMAS’ OFFICE – CONTINUOUS
Thomas rushes into his office and closes the door behind him. He picks up the picture of Joan off of his desk.
THOMAS
(sobs)
Joan.
After a few moments of Thomas trying to gain his composure, there’s a KNOCK on the door.
THOMAS
(barely audible)
Yes?
John opens the door. He and Miriam stand there looking bewildered at Thomas.
JOHN
Thomas, is everything alright? Is there anything I can do?
Thomas shakes his head.
THOMAS
No one can fix this. I just need some time alone.
JOHN
You know, you can call me anytime. I’ll be praying.
Thomas looks at John, who nods and leaves.
Miriam remains standing just in the doorway while John’s FOOTSTEPS disappear down the hallway.
MIRIAM
Henry Spencer took Joan from you. Please don’t let him take everyone else too.
Thomas looks at Miriam, and tears again fill his eyes.
Miriam turns and leaves.
Thomas listens to her FOOTSTEPS, and then a distant DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES.
Thomas walks to the doorway, looking down the dark hallway that leads to the sanctuary.
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