Screenwriting Mastery Forums The 30 Day Screenplay 30 Day Screenplay 7 Post Day 20 Assignment Here

  • BG

    Member
    January 23, 2022 at 12:56 pm

    Lesson 20: Finish Act 3

    ASSIGNMENT

    BG’s Completed Act 3

    What I learned doing this assignment: I’m trying to stick to the plan and keep up. Some middle scenes are still missing their dialogue and descriptions and look like they did on the Beat Sheet.

    A CLUB FOR PATRIOTS

    ACT 3 DRAFT 1

    BG’s Act 3 Reaction to Midpoint

    Write Act 3 Key Scene 1: React/Rethink the new reality revealed by the Midpoint!

    INT. ST. MICHAEL CONFERENCE ROOM – DAY
    Five men and one woman are buzzing around with wands, scanning all the walls, furniture, equipment, anything they can reach. They are AGENTS from MI6. They don’t look like James Bond. Billionaire hovers like a mother hen.
    AGENT 1: Clear!
    AGENT 2: This room is clean, sir.
    Billionaire looks relieved.

    INT. CORRIDOR OUTSIDE ST. MICHAEL CONFERENCE ROOM – DAY
    In the distance, Hostess turns the corner and disappears.

    INT. GERMAN INTELLIGENCE AGENCY – DAY
    Intelligence agency boiler room. Agents working at their desks. Screens all around. One GERMAN AGENT feels a slight buzz in his pocket. Checks his phone and stands up. He does look like James Bond. He leaves the room.

    EXT. GERMAN INTELLIGENCE AGENCY – DAY
    Beautiful grounds surround the agency buildings. German Agent sits on the grass under some 100 year old trees, talking on his phone.

    INT./EXT. HOSTESS’S CAR NEARBY STREET – DAY
    Hostess in her car with cellphone to her ear.
    HOSTESS: Bees buzzing in the hive. Damn bees! They will sting me one day!
    GERMAN AGENT (on Hostess’s phone): Talk is yellow jackets from across the pond got a whiff of a high-latitude flower.
    HOSTESS: I’ll have to figure out something to distract them away from the mule.

    INT. ENERGY MOGUL’S LONDON PAD – DAY
    Killed and stuffed animal heads adorn the walls. Lots of horns. Energy Mogul has propped up his right leg and talks on the phone.
    ENERGY MOGUL: I’m planning to walk a little in the park today. Need exercise.

    EXT. HYDE PARK – DAY
    Energy Mogul walks slowly under the trees. He has a slight limp. Next to him is a nondescript man, wearing glasses, a cap and an expensive light trench coat. He is ASSASSIN. They seem to know each other well.
    ENERGY MOGUL: He’s such an idiot. It’s always his club, his precious conference room, his plan! He thinks he is emperor of the world!
    Assassin walks with a blank face.
    ENERGY MOGUL: I don’t like smart people! They are dangerous!
    Assassin finally sneaks a sideways glance, as if to say, This idiot doesn’t seem to think I’m smart.
    ASSASSIN: I thought no bugs were found.
    ENERGY MOGUL: Doesn’t matter, I know that young man did it! I told him! I said that young man is too smart, too good-looking. Get rid of him! Does he listen to me? Nooo! He’s such an idiot!
    He turns to the Assassin.
    ENERGY MOGUL: I guess he likes him because the young punk is smart!
    ASSASSIN: What would you like me to do?
    ENERGY MOGUL: I don’t want you to kill him or anything. Just break every bone in his body. I want him in the hospital for a year! Out of my hair! Until this opportunity is over.
    ASSASSIN: Yes, sir.
    ENERGY MOGUL: Let him choose his own damn wine!
    Energy Mogul’s limp has become more pronounced. Assassin slows down.
    ASSASSIN: Leg bothering you, sir?
    ENERGY MOGUL: Damned gout! He serves me roast pheasant! Every time! I know he’s doing it deliberately – I know it! He knows I can’t resist it and that it causes my gout to flare up! I know it!
    He frowns.
    ENERGY MOGUL: And make it look like he was mugged.

    BG’s Act 3 Middle Scenes

    1. Outline Key Scenes (Act 3 Middle Scenes).

    INT. KITCHEN – THE CLUB – DAY
    MI6 agents’ early-morning visit to sweep for bugs has created excitement among the kitchen staff. When Reporter walks in, a waitress rushes to him and gushes, “They were everywhere, Monsieur! But they didn’t find anything!” Reporter looks concerned, then surprised. His eyebrows go up slightly – brain whirring, puzzle pieces jumping around, assembling themselves into a coherent picture. He spots Hostess approaching. He hastily moves behind a group of workers to avoid being seen. and leaves by the rear exit.

    EXT. PARKING LOT OFF BUSTLING STREET – LONDON – NIGHT
    INT. GERMAN INTELLIGENCE AGENCY – NIGHT
    Parking lot in a congested area some distance from both The Club and Hostess’s flat. Hostess, sitting in her car with an unusual-looking laptop and some equipment, sends an encrypted message to her control, German Agent. She then plants evidence remotely into Hacker’s electronics equipment, in order to deflect Intelligence agencies away from Reporter.

    INT. CIA CONFERENCE ROOM LANGLEY – DAY
    CIA deciphers traces of a British hacker’s phone number and new references to Northstar in monitored transatlantic communications. They discuss the legal advantages of capturing a foreign citizen as opposed to an American reporter.

    INT./EXT. CIA SAFE HOUSE – NIGHT
    INT./EXT. VAN – CIA SAFE HOUSE – NIGHT
    Scottish moors. A black MI6 van speeds toward a dark, lonely-looking house, looming in the distance. In the van, Hacker lies unconscious with two boxes full of his electronics equipment by his side. An American rendition team sits in front.

    INT./EXT. REPORTER’S HOTEL ROOM — NIGHT
    Reporter can’t get through to his friend Hacker. He leaves his room with some tools.

    INT./EXT. HACKER’S APARTMENT — NIGHT
    Reporter climbs up to Hacker’s flat. Easier this time. He jimmies open a window, and goes in. He finds it ransacked. And all of Hacker’s electronics equipment are missing.

    EXT. DARK STREET NEAR REPORTER’S FLAT – NIGHT
    On the way back to his own flat, Reporter is attacked from behind by Assassin. He topples Assassin down. As the guy, surprised, tries to right himself, Reporter kicks Assassin’s head, knocking him out. Then, Reporter kicks again — he’s really pissed! He bends down and whispers, Skipped your Elementary Mechanics class, didn’t you?

    INT. KITCHEN – THE CLUB – DAY
    Next morning, Reporter is really cold toward Hostess, who has come to the kitchen to talk to him. He evades her attempts to talk.

    EXT. PARKING LOT OFF BUSTLING STREET – LONDON – NIGHT
    That evening, Reporter follows Hostess to the parking lot. Inside her car, Hostess starts to set up her secure laptop and her gear on the passenger-side seat. Reporter looks in through the window. He recognizes the equipment – their images had zipped by on his screen while researching listening devices in his hotel room. He knocks on the window. Hostess looks surprised, but moves her gear to her lap and unlocks the door. Reporter slides into the passenger seat and says, Why don’t we talk here?

    BG’s Act 3 Turning Point

    2. Write Turning Point 3 – Protagonist faces their lowest low.

    INT.HOSTESS’S CAR – PARKING LOT – NIGHT
    Reporter motions toward her communications gear.
    REPORTER: Intelligence agency grade gear.
    It’s not a question, it’s a statement.
    HOSTESS: You read a lot, don’t you?
    REPORTER: You removed the bug from the conference room.
    Hostess looks uncertain — it’s a first.
    REPORTER: Russian agent, huh?
    HOSTESS: No, German.
    REPORTER: German!
    Hostess no longer looks uncertain.
    HOSTESS: We, too, are trying to stop this plot.
    (beat)
    HOSTESS: We don’t want to buy expensive LNG. We want the cheap Russian gas. Billionaire’s group wants us to buy their expensive LNG. See, they want to start a war and blame Russia. Then, the German public won’t be able to resist pressure from some of our allies to give up the cheap Russian gas and buy the expensive LNG! They want us, the Germans, to take one for the team!
    REPORTER: Yes, I figured out that much. But why me? Why didn’t you send your tip to a real journalist? Why me?
    HOSTESS: I assume by real journalist, you mean big media. They wouldn’t have printed it. New York Times, Washington Post, The Guardian, they are all pro war. They believe war is necessary to take Russia down a peg and perpetuate the Western-led world order.
    REPORTER: You used me.
    HOSTESS: I chose you. I wanted a scientist, a thinker, not a bought-and-paid-for Western journalist.
    REPORTER: My friend is missing.
    Hostess remains silent.
    REPORTER: Did you have something to do with that?
    HOSTESS: I can help you find him. I know some people. You help me, I help you.

    INT. RECOVERY ROOM – CIA SAFE HOUSE – NIGHT
    Small, understaffed operation. No expensive monitors or equipment around. Hacker lies unconscious on a gurney. Roughed up. Skin around his closed eyes is a ghastly blue-black.

    INT. OFFICE OF STATION CHIEF – CIA SAFE HOUSE – NIGHT
    STATION CHIEF sits at her desk, sifting through piles of paper. Looks like this lady hasn’t been promoted in ages. A harried-looking DOCTOR enters.
    DOCTOR: Look, I don’t think I’ll be able to get anything more out of him. Short of drowning him, I guess. He insists he didn’t hack or send any hacked materials to Reporter. He just saw some of the stuff that was sent to Reporter. Does not know by whom.
    STATION CHIEF: Well, I don’t believe him. Keep on trying.
    DOCTOR: He doesn’t look good. We’ll all look bad if he has a cardiac arrest or something.
    STATION CHIEF: We’ll look worse if we fail.

    • This reply was modified 3 years, 4 months ago by  BG ERENGIL.
  • Don Thompson

    Member
    January 23, 2022 at 3:02 pm

    Don Thompson’s Completed Act 3

    What I learned: the ‘lowest point’ of the protagonist occurs in this section of this script. The structural breakdown is working.

    The Captain observes. He takes his pulse, then turns to Seymour.

    VERE

    Check him.

    Seymour takes his pulse.

    SEYMOUR

    He’s quite dead.

    Claggart turns to Radcliff.

    VERE

    Go get the doctor. Not a word about this as you do! Not a word!

    Radcliff rushes out. Vere again checks his pulse and slaps him.

    VERE

    Claggart! Claggart!

    Seymour looks on.

    SEYMOUR

    He’s quite dead, Captain.

    CAPTAIN

    Mr. Seymour, take Mr. Budd and Mr. Squeak below to detention, then return here immediately.

    Billy is now able to speak.

    BILLY

    I didn’t mean to kill him, Captain. Just to shut him up.

    Vere waves him on.

    CAPTAIN

    Go with Seymour and wait. We’ll sort this out.

    Seymour leaves with Billy and Squeak. Radcliff returns with the SHIPS DOCTOR (50).

    VERE

    (to the Doctor) Check him.

    The doctor leans down and checks his pulse and vitals.

    DOCTOR

    What happened?

    VERE

    One of the men gave Claggart a single blow to the head. Certainly not enough to kill him.

    DOCTOR

    I’m sorry Captain, I have to disagree. Your man levied his blow at precisely the right place to cause this man to hemorrhage.

    Vere can’t believe it.

    VERE

    Astounding. I’ve never seen such a thing.

    DOCTOR

    I’ve seen it once before. It was in a wrestling match when one of the fighters became so angry he struck his opponent just like this and his opponent was Immediately dead.

    RADCLIFF

    Billy probably did us a favor, Captain.

    Vere is incensed.

    VERE

    Will you shut up man! Do you even understand what you just said!

    Radcliff lowers his eyes.

    CAPTAIN

    I’m sorry, Captain. My sincerest apologies.

    Seymore returns.

    The Captain directs them toward a small table and each pulls up a chair.

    VERE

    Now, Gentlemen, what the hell do we do?

    Seymour eyes over the Captain.

    SEYMOUR

    We don’t have many options, sir, in my opinion.

    But if we take action against Budd, we actually do risk a mutiny.

    VERE

    So Claggart was right?

    SEYMOUR

    But he brought it about, the bastard!

    Vere rubs his face with his hands.

    VERE

    Radcliff?

    RADCLIFF

    We have to let Budd free. He was clearly not intending to kill Claggart. No one will miss the man. We just need to concoct some story about what happened. And hold Squeak in custody until we can make sure he won’t talk to the others.

    Vere ponders.

    VERE

    I don’t believe any of you quite grasp what has happened.

    Beat.

    VERE

    We need to execute Budd. We need to do it now.

    SEYMOUR

    Execution, sir? On what grounds?

    VERE

    He’s broken the law. He has struck an officer of rank and killed him dead on the spot. We can’t leave that unanswered.

    Beat.

    SEYMOUR

    Well, perhaps. But there is the practicality of the situation.

    VERE

    Practicality!? There’s nothing practical about a lower-ranking sailor striking an officer dead.

    RADCLIFF

    In civilian courts, it would certainly be considered manslaughter.

    Beat.

    VERE

    This is not a civilian court. This is a Man-Of-War ship on its way to reinforce the King’s navy on the coast of Spain. There’s a slight difference.

    Silence.

    RADCLIFF

    Agreed.

    Beat.

    SEYMOUR

    There may be a higher law at work, sir, than the military justice you seek.

    VERE

    Explain.

    SEYMOUR

    The rule of law is contextual, sir. It is not fixed. Using such logic, a soldier may kill without being accused of murder. And the military code clearly gives officers, particularly commanding officers, discretion and latitude in assessing any given situation and making an appropriate response.

    Beat.

    VERE

    Continue.

    SEYMOUR

    Budd is well-liked among the men. He is, in fact, perhaps the most popular man on board this ship, with the possible exclusion of the cook – on a good day that is.

    VERE

    But we are not at war with ourselves. We are at war with the French.

    Silence.

    SEYMOUR

    This is an internal battle we are experiencing sir. Not to be overly dramatic about it, but a battle for the soul of this ship. My vote is that Budd should be the emblem of what that means.

    VERE

    That’s all very pretty sounding, Mr. Seymour, but I must say you’ve been reading too much philosophy.

    We are at war, we are the military, an impressed man struck an officer and killed him. He must be executed. It’s as simple as that.

    Vere stands up, walks to the rear of his office, and looks out the window.

    VERE

    Gentlemen, I appreciate your input. I sincerely do. But we will hang Budd, and we will do it within the hour.

    He turns around.

    VERE

    Mr. Radcliff, I order you to carry this out. And I order you to do it now.

    Radcliff stands, salutes the Captain, and leaves. Seymour and the Captain are left alone.

    VERE

    Mr. Seymour, I know you disagree, but someday you will find wisdom in my choice. If we are not a nation of laws then we are nothing and will devolve into chaos. I will not let that happen on this ship.

    Mr. Seymour stands as well and salutes the Captain and leaves.

    SEYMOUR

    Yes sir.

    Seymour leaves.

    The Captain looks out his window toward the ocean. He turns around. There stands Danskar. The Captain GASPS.

    VERE

    Good god, man! What are you doing here?

    DANSKAR

    You called for me.

    Vere recollects.

    VERE

    Yes, I suppose I did. I don’t need you now.

    DANSKAR

    But don’t you want to know about Billy’s feelings toward Claggart?

    VERE

    It doesn’t matter now. Do you know what just conspired here?

    Danskar nods his head ‘no’.

    VERE

    Good. Then back to your station.

    Danskar continues to look at the Captain.

    DANSKAR

    Don’t kill Billy.

    VERE

    How do you know we intend to kill him?

    DANSKAR

    I can feel it in the air.

    Beat.

    DANSKAR

    It won’t go over well. The men love him.

    VERE

    I didn’t ask for your opinion, did I?

    DANSKAR

    I’m givin’ it. They love him. You don’t want to kill that love.

    VERE

    My good man, if you don’t leave within 10 seconds I’ll have you taken to the brig.

    Danskar continues to stare at him. He nods, and leaves.

  • Janeen Johnson

    Member
    January 23, 2022 at 3:18 pm

    Janeen’s Completed Act 3

    What I learned doing this assignment is that having the beats and scenes needed to tie them together outlined up front made it easy to have some continuity in the act. I didn’t have to add anything, but did a few spelling corrections, etc.

  • Peter Birdsong

    Member
    January 23, 2022 at 6:58 pm

    Peter Birdsong’s Completed Act 3

    What I learned: I need index cards. When I take myself through this again next time, I will use index cards to sort out my scenes.

    I/E. YACHT – DAY

    Carly stands next to the mast looking up the length towering above her. The book is closed in her hand, a finger stuck inside marking a page.

    She opens it quickly. Reads.

    Eyes back on the mast. At the top she notices the ANEMOMETER spinning. Her hair kicks up on a small gust of air.

    Carly looks in the direction of the wind.

    Eyes back to the book. She slams the book shut, and moves to the helm.

    She holds her hands up defining to herself the direction of the boat and the wind.

    CARLY

    (to herself)

    Broad reach. We’re going to do a broad reach.

    She retrieves a HAND CRANK from under the seat.

    CARLY

    (to herself)

    I hope.

    She attaches the crank to one of the WINCHES.

    CARLY

    (to herself)

    Do I raise the mainsail or position the boom first?

    (beat)

    Screw it. Mainsail.

    She CRANKS! CLICK-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K!

    Carly watches the material rise smoothly up the mast. As it does, wind catches it in each section causing it to billow out like a sheet in a summer breeze.

    The winch CLICKS on final time. Carly moves to a second winch and cranks! CLICK-K-K-K-K-K-K!

    The mainsail BOOM pivots off the MAST sending its end off the port-side of the vessel.

    The MAINSAIL swells! Carly look at the display.

    Display: 3 KNOTS

    CARLY

    The jib.

    Carly moves to a third winch. She grabs a line, double checks where it runs, and quickly wraps the line around a winch.

    She grabs a second line. She studies it in her hand, and follows its path with her eyes. She drops it and chooses another. Following it’s path she sees the line continue to the bow.

    CARLY

    This has to be it. The hell do it know.

    She pulls the line around the winch as she gives slack to the second line. The winch smoothly GRINDS effortlessly feeding more line to her as she pulls.

    Ahead, a triangular SHEET unfurls off the BOW. As it grows it reaches to the top of the mast.

    The line becomes taught, and Carly secures it.

    She look up at the sails. The JIB sail hangs limp, its corners flapping. Carly frowns.

    Carly takes the WHEEL and turns. The boat yaws in the water, and the jib suddenly fills with wind!

    DISPLAY: 8 KNOTS

    EXT. ATLANTIC OCEAN – DAY

    The catamaran races on the surface of the ocean.

    I/E. YACHT – DAY

    Carly engages the autopilot. The wheel takes over on its on. Carly sits back and crosses her arms. She watches satisfied.

    INT. SALON – DAY

    Carly looks at the display at the NAV STATION. Studying their position closely.

    INT. CABIN – DAY

    Carly lifts her mattress and pulls out her map. She unfolds the Atlantic Ocean and draws an “X.” She stares at her map looking at the previous X’s marked along their route.

    She opens the map further. The Mediterranean. She opens more. Carly pushes her pillows out of the way and spreads the map wide on her bed.

    She stands over it turning her CHEAP COMPASS in her hand. There was the Indian Ocean. The islands of the South Pacific. The Caribbean. Their trip suddenly seemed so small.

    EXT. OCEAN – DAY

    The fishing line dips suddenly.

    INT. SALON – DAY

    Carly watches the waves through the window, still turning her CHEAP COMPASS in her fingers.

    I/E. YACHT – DAY

    The reel on the rod CLICK. Then… ZZZZZZZZZ!

    The line takes off!

    INT. SALON

    ZZZZZZZZZZZ!

    Carly shoots her gaze at the line.

    CARLY

    Oh my God. Mom? MOM!

    She rushes for the doors.

    I/E. YACHT – DAY

    Carly makes it to the rod, and looks it over confused. She looks out into the water. The line shoots off sideways suddenly!

    Carly darts back into…

    INT. SALON

    And quickly moves down the steps to her mother’s cabin.

    BANG BANG! She knocks!

    CARLY

    Hey!

    The door swings open. Laurel looks confused and tired. Carly is taken back for a minute.

    CARLY

    Hey.

    LAUREL

    What?

    CARLY

    What? Oh… fish. FISH!

    Laurel’s eyes go wide and she pushes past daughter!

    I/E. YACHT

    Laurel runs to the rod as the line spools out!

    CARLY

    I’ll take the wheel.

    LAUREL

    Are you sure?

    CARLY

    Yes! Set the hook this time!

    LAUREL

    What?

    CARLY

    I don’t know, I read it. I figured you’d know!

    LAUREL

    No!

    Laurel locks the reel and it SNAPS to a stop. She begins to work the reel. Laurel screams trying to reel it in!

    CARLY

    What?

    LAUREL

    It’s heavy! Damn heavy! Help me!

    CARLY

    What about the boat?

    LAUREL

    Forget it! Help!

    Carly runs down to her mother.

    CARLY

    What do I do?

    Laurel turns the crank but it’s slow going.

    CARLY

    Don’t lose it.

    LAUREL

    What do you think I’m trying to do?

    CARLY

    Okay! Okay.

    Laurel pulls on the crank, but she can barely get it to budge!

    LAUREL

    I can’t. It’s too heavy.

    CARLY

    Give it slack.

    LAUREL

    What?

    CARLY

    I’ve seen that before. Give it slack and then reel.

    LAUREL

    Get behind the rail.

    CARLY

    What?

    LAUREL

    We’re going to do this together and I don’t want this thing pulling us into the water.

    Carly braces herself against the rail, and grabs hold of the rod. Laurel lifts the rod out of it’s bracket and the whole things jerks hard!

    They hold on, screaming against the strength of their catch!

    LAUREL

    Pull!

    They pull together, and then loosen reeling line in as they do.

    LAUREL

    Again!

    They pull! Carly bracing her stance wide. They relax and Laurel reels!

    LAUREL

    Keep going!

    They tug!

    Laurel reels!

    LAUREL

    Again!

    PULL! REEL!

    CARLY

    We’re doing it!

    LAUREL

    Pull!!

    They pull again! The fish jumps!

    CARLY

    Holy shit!!

    LAUREL

    I know!! PULL!

    They pull together! Laurel reels as fast as she can!

    CARLY

    The net!

    LAUREL

    I don’t think it’s going to fit!

    They pull again and Laurel reels!

    LAUREL

    Grab the gaff.

    CARLY

    The what?

    LAUREL

    Pull!

    They pull again!

    LAUREL

    See that poll with the hook mounted to the rail?

    Carly reaches for it, and Laurel feels the rod slip!

    LAUREL

    Wait!

    Carly grabs her mother and the rod.

    CARLY

    What’s the plan?

    LAUREL

    I’m not losing this rod. It was expensive.

    CARLY

    One of us has to let go!

    LAUREL

    Move back to the bracket. On three. One. Two. Three.

    Together they shuffle back to the bracket and push the rod inside locking it in place.

    Carly grabs the GAFF of the rail. Studying the hook on the end…

    CARLY

    I’m afraid to ask.

    The fish is close. They see it fighting the line not ten feet off the boat.

    LAUREL

    Well… you need to step down there and pull the fish onboard.

    CARLY

    How!?

    LAUREL

    You stab it with the hook.

    CARLY

    WHAT!?

    LAUREL

    Or you can reel it in closer.

    Carly looks at the rod, then the gaff. There’s a lanyard on the handle. She loops it around her wrist.

    CARLY

    I can do this.

    Carly steps down to the starboard aft. She’s just over the water now. The fish dragging just out of reach.

    CARLY

    I can do this.

    LAUREL

    Get ready!

    CARLY

    Shit… I’m going to do this.

    Carly extends the gaff and hits the water. Miss!

    CARLY

    Closer!

    LAUREL

    (grunting)

    Trying!

    Carly tries again. Splash! MISS!

    CARLY

    I can’t reach it! We’re going to lose it!

    Carly reaches and slams the gaff down! It smacks and jerks in her hand.

    CARLY

    I got it. I GOT IT!

    The gaff goes wild and Carly grabs hold with both hands.

    LAUREL

    Pull!!

    Carly summons every bit of upper-body strength she owns and hauls onboard the largest fish the two have ever seen!

    They both breathe a sign of relief. The mahi-mahi flops and Carly SCREAMS!

    Laurel sinks to the deck breathing hard and leaning against the boat.

    LAUREL

    Drag it up here.

    Carly stumbles to her feet and began to pull the large fish up to the main deck.

    Laurel pulls herself up and walks to the doors.

    INT. SALON

    Laurel opens a drawer and retrieves a long knife.

    I/E. YACHT

    Laurel emerges, knife in hand.

    CARLY

    What are you going to do?

    LAUREL

    You’re going to-uh-you’re going to make a deep cut just behind the–

    CARLY

    The hell I am!

    LAUREL

    Well! Are you just going to let it lay there and die?

    CARLY

    I had considered it! Why don’t you do the-the deep cut thing?

    LAUREL

    I reeled it in.

    CARLY

    I hauled it in!

    LAUREL

    And now you can finish the job.

    Laurel holds the knife out to Carly. The fish FLOPS near her feet.

    CARLY

    I’m not cooking or cutting it up.

    LAUREL

    Fine.

    CARLY

    Fine.

    Laurel is still holding the knife.

    LAUREL

    Carly.

    CARLY

    OKAY! Okay…

    She takes the knife.

    CARLY

    Where?

    LAUREL

    Just behind the head. You’re severing the spin.

    CARLY

    Have you–have you done this?

    LAUREL

    Of course not. The man who sold the rod told me.

    Carly leans down. The fish jumps causing Carly to SCREAM and jump up!

    CARLY

    Shit! Shit! Shit!

    LAUREL

    We’re going to talk about your unladylike language later.

    CARLY

    Oh like THIS is lady like!

    Carly bends down again. She’s close now. She positions the knife… and pushes. The blade sinks deep and the fish relaxes.

    BLOOD flows onto the deck.

    CARLY

    Jesus! This. Is. Disgusting.

    (beat)

    There. Done.

    Carly looks up and sees her mother with her hands over her face.

    CARLY

    You’re hiding!?

    LAUREL

    Yes. Sorry.

    (beat)

    Nice work!

    INT. SALON – NIGHT

    A fully cooked fish filet steams on a plate in front of Carly.

    She cuts into it and forks a bite. She slowly puts it into her mouth.

    LAUREL

    Better than beans.

    Carly’s eyes roll up as she relishes the taste.

    CARLY

    Much.

    Laurel holds her glass up. Carly pauses mid-chew and looks at her questioningly.

    LAUREL

    Our first fish.

    Carly considers this for a moment. She take her glass and DINGS her mom’s.

    They both drink.

    CARLY

    I took your book.

    LAUREL

    Oh?

    Carly studies her.

    CARLY

    You didn’t notice?

    LAUREL

    Yes.

    CARLY

    I’m just thinking… we both have places we’re trying to get to.

    Laurel sips her drink, but remains silent.

    CARLY

    If I help, maybe… Maybe we’ll get this trip done and we can both get where we want to go.

    LAUREL

    To California?

    CARLY

    Yeah. Well, and you your big CEO job.

    Laurel considers this. She feigns a smile and raises her glass. Carly raises hers.

    LAUREL

    Sounds like a deal.

    CARLY

    Okay.

    INT. SALON – MOMENTS LATER

    Carly has the book open in front of her. She has a sailing LINE in her hand and she’s turning it to form a loop. Studying the book closely, she snakes the other end around, and then through. She pulls it tight in a perfect bowline knot.

    INT. SALON – DAY

    Carly sits at the NAV STATION studying the digital chart on the screen. She looks back at the book, then the chart again. She takes down a note in the book, and underlines some text.

    She heres a noise and looks up through the sunroof that gives her a view of the mainsail above. She watches it noticing the top-quarter fluttering.

    I/E. YACHT – DAY

    Carly stands at the helm watching the sail above. She touches the wheel. Then, she gently takes hold.

    Carly looks upward again, and then at the horizon. She breathes and looks at the sail again.

    Carly turns the wheel. It easy, and it responds to her. The boat yaws port and the flapping of the sail becomes louder!

    Carly turns starboard. The sail fills out completely.

    She hangs on keeping the course straight on its new direction.

    She taps the computer to re-engage the auto-pilot. The boat steer port returning to it’s original heading.

    The mainsail begins to flap.

    Carly inspects the lines leading up the boat to the mast. She opens the book.

    I/E. YACHT – DAY

    Barefoot and at the base of the mast, Carly continues to inspect how things are setup. She frequently looks back at the book and then the mast again.

    She slams the book shut and moves carefully back to the helm station. She grabs a single line and pulls.

    The sail responds moving the BOOM slightly. The mainsail fills completely and the flapping stops.

    Satisfied, she locks down the line.

    LAUREL

    Hey.

    Her mother stands in the opening to the Salon.

    CARLY

    Hey.

    LAUREL

    You good?

    CARLY

    All good.

    Laurel glances around a little as if checking to be sure.

    LAUREL

    Okay.

    Laurel makes a move to head back inside.

    CARLY

    I… thought I could take a shift.

    LAUREL

    That would be great.

    CARLY

    Yeah?

    LAUREL

    You know what to do?

    CARLY

    I think so. Watch the sails. Watch other boats. Make sure we’re pointed the right way. Anything else?

    LAUREL

    That’s about all I know too. If you learn something new, please share.

    CARLY

    Okay.

    Laurel disappears into the salon. Carly turns her attention back to the helm. She takes a seat.

    It’s hers now.

    CARLY

    Okay.

    EXT. ATLANTIC OCEAN – DAY

    The blue waters stretch endlessly in every direction. The 45 foot catamaran, small on the water, moves effortlessly over the waves.

    I/E. YACHT – SUNSET

    Carly stands near the front of the boat, watching the sun just kiss the horizon. Her hair flows free in the wind.

    Ocean spray occasionally hits her face, but she doesn’t seem to mind.

    At the helm, Laurel watches her daughter.

    INT. SALON – NIGHT

    Carly practicing her knots. The book is open next to her. Fresh notes written in the margins.

    The only light is the glow of the red nightlight in the cabin. The engines HUM as the catamaran motors on in the night.

    Something catches her eye. Carly stands and peers through one of the windows, watching the black horizon.

    LIGHTNING. It’s quite a ways off.

    She sits near the window and watches. Another FLASH. This one maybe further away, just over the horizon line.

    I/E. YACHT – DAY

    Carly opens the SAIL LOCKER.

    INT. SAIL LOCKER – CONTINUOUS

    Carly drops inside and looks at the large bag in front of her.

    LABEL: SPINNAKER

    She pulls the bag by it’s handle, and shoves it up through the open hatch.

    I/E. YACHT – CONTINUOUS

    Carly climbs out. She stretches the bag across the boat’s trampolines, finds the zipper, and pulls.

    ZZZZZZIIIIPP. The industrial strength zipper grinds along its teeth down the bag revealing a purple SHEET inside.

    Carly steps up and runs to her book. Opening to a page she has bookmarked she studies it closely.

    She jumps bag to the sail bag and grabs a corner of the purple sheet. She attaches it to a point and feeds it around the JIB.

    I/E. YATCH – MOMENTS LATER

    Carly steps to the helm and feeds a line into one of the winches. She retrieves a CRANK from storage under her seat and attaches it to the winch.

    KLAK-K-K-K-K-K! She spins the winch.

    Ahead… the purple sheet rises along the front of the boat. It’s top corner climbs higher and higher.

    The sheet unfolds and fills with wind becoming a magnificent display of wind power! It billows out wide casting a purple hue on the yacht itself.

    Carly moves to the controls and hits a BUTTON. The JIB SAIL responds rolling up to the bow and disappearing into itself.

    Carly tugs and loosens lines, making proper adjustments to the new sail.

    INT. SALON – SAME

    Laurel watches the sail through the window. The beauty of it has captivated her. A glimmer of a smile, and perhaps pride, can be seen on her face.

    She sips the hot mug in her hand.

    I/E. YACHT – CONTINUOUS

    Carly takes hold of the WHEEL and switches off the auto-pilot. She looks at the compass, then the sails.

    EXT. ATLANTIC OCEAN – DAY

    The catamaran sails over the waters, its purple spinnaker sail glowing under the afternoon sun.

    I/E. YACHT – SUNSET

    Laurel emerges from the Salon; a fish FILET on a plate in hand.

    She hands it up to Carly who sits at the wheel. Carly accepts and takes a large bite of the fish.

    LAUREL

    The wind is starting to taper off.

    CARLY

    Yeah.

    LAUREL

    Maybe we should switch to the other sail before it gets dark?

    CARLY

    Jib.

    LAUREL

    Jib.

    I/E. YACHT – MOMENTS LATER

    The sun sits just over the horizon. Carly works a wench and the purple sail lowers to the boat’s bow.

    Laurel stands at the front collecting it as best she can as it comes down.

    I/E. YACHT – MOMENTS LATER

    They work together rolling the sail into a tight bundle. Carly opens the sail bag and they begin to shove the sail inside.

    INT. SAIL LOCKER – MOMENTS LATER

    Carly pushes the bag into it’s proper spot; taking extra care of the storage space and where it should rest.

    I/E. YACHT – NIGHT

    The sun is all but gone. Laurel is wearing a HEADLAMP that illuminates the boat.

    LAUREL

    Take a break. We can run the motor for a while.

    Carly moves along the side of the boat and leaps up to the helm. She presses and holds a button and the engines come to life. She engages the throttle and sets the auto pilot computer.

    INT. SALON – NIGHT

    Carly and Laurel sit on the couch drinking red wine.

    CARLY

    We broke up.

    LAUREL

    No! When?

    CARLY

    Like, three weeks ago.

    LAUREL

    Oh. I’m sorry. I liked that boy.

    CARLY

    Don’t be sorry. I dumped him.

    LAUREL

    Oh. I’m sorry for him.

    CARLY

    (joking)

    Well, yes. His loss.

    They look at each other, then laugh!

    LAUREL

    Want to tell me what happened?

    CARLY

    Eh. Doesn’t matter.

    They sit in silence. Laurel sips her wine.

    CARLY

    Was Dad always… could you trust him?

    LAUREL

    More than anyone.

    Carly considers this for a moment.

    CARLY

    I guess you would have to being that you were gone so much.

    That stung. Laurel swallows.

    CARLY

    Busy, I mean.

    LAUREL

    Yeah.

    I/E. YACHT – NIGHT

    The boat bobs on a wave. A ROPE laying loose on the deck moves. It’s end hangs over the edge touching the water.

    The boat kicks on a wave again, and the rope’s end slips into the water. The weight slowly pulls on the whole line.

    It goes fast, snaking off the deck and into the current below dragging to the rear of the boat.

    EXT. UNDERWATER – NIGHT

    Like a sea snake, the line slips along the hull, it’s end aimed directly for the spinning prop.

    INT. SALON – NIGHT

    THE ENGINE STOPS SUDDENLY!

    Carly looks to the windows curiously.

    CARLY

    What happened?

    LAUREL

    I don’t know.

    They stand and move to the doors.

    CARLY

    I’ll restart it.

    Carly grabs a light and CLICKS it on.

    Laurel relaxes back onto the couch as her daughter steps outside.

    I/E. YACHT – NIGHT

    Carly presses the button at the helm. The starter turns but nothing happens.

    She tries again.

    Nothing.

    Carly lets out a breath, and tries a third time.

    CARLY

    Come on…

    Nothing.

    CARLY

    It’s a brand new boat.

    LAUREL

    What’s up?

    CARLY

    I don’t know. It just won’t start.

    LAUREL

    Did you try–

    CARLY

    The only thing I know to try is to try starting it.

    LAUREL

    There’s a breeze, we could just go back to the wind.

    CARLY

    Yeah. Okay.

    LAUREL

    We’ll sort it out in the morning, when we have light.

    CARLY

    Yeah.

    LAUREL

    It will be fine tonight.

    I/E. YACHT – MORNING

    Carly stands on the bow holding a line taught in her hands.

    LAUREL

    Are you sure?

    CARLY

    What else would explain it. This thing is wrapped around our propeller engine thing.

    LAUREL

    Propeller engine thing.

    CARLY

    Mom. This is serious.

    LAUREL

    Okay.

    EXT. ATLANTIC OCEAN

    The boat sits on almost glass ocean water. Both sails are down and the boat is technically adrift.

    I/E. YACHT – MORNING

    Laurel rushes out from the Salon, KNIFE in hand.

    LAUREL

    Don’t let the rest fall in.

    CARLY

    I’ve got it.

    Laurel cuts the rope free near her hand. Carly, holding the end leading into the water, walks it back to the rear of the boat.

    LAUREL

    I’ve got the rest.

    Laurel wraps up the line remaining and stores it as it should have been.

    Caryl reaches the rear of the boat and tugs.

    CARLY

    It won’t budge!

    Laurel arrives and grabs hold with her.

    LAUREL

    Like the fish. PULL!

    They pull in unison, but the line doesn’t give. Laurel moves close to the water and lays prone on the swim deck. Her face can almost touch the water.

    She grabs the line in the water and tries working it in different directions.

    Carly holds the limp end helplessly.

    CARLY

    Shit. We’re stuck.

    LAUREL

    Don’t panic.

    CARLY

    I’m not. I’m pissed.

    LAUREL

    Don’t do that either. Let’s just breath.

    CARLY

    Don’t tell me to breath. Look where we are! Unless you have a way to MAKE WIND, we’re stuck! STUCK IN THE MIDDLE OF THE OCEAN!

    Laurel stares at the line leading into the water. She rolls up to a sitting position and looks up at the sky.

    CARLY

    I have to be home in ten days. Not the islands. HOME! I can see the headline: “Midland High’s Prom Queen Lost At Sea.”

    Laurel continues staring at the sky.

    CARLY

    HELLO!?

    (beat)

    Mom?

    Laurel wipes her eye.

    CARLY

    Are you okay?

    LAUREL

    I’m tired.

    Carly sits on a step leading down to where her mother is sitting.

    LAUREL

    This is the most peace I’ve felt in years.

    Carly relaxes. They float in silence listening to the small waves lap the underside of the vessel.

    LAUREL

    I’m sorry.

    CARLY

    For what?

    LAUREL

    I didn’t know you were the prom queen.

    CARLY

    Well. I’m not. Not yet. A girl can dream right?

    LAUREL

    I’m still sorry.

    The waves slap the boat gently.

    CARLY

    I know.

    Laurel stands.

    LAUREL

    Grab your swimsuit.

    Carly sits up.

    CARLY

    What? Why?

    I/E. YACHT – DAY

    Laurel stands next to her daughter, both in swimsuits. Laurel hands her a pair of goggles, and a line.

    LAUREL

    Tie yourself off.

    CARLY

    I cannot believe I’m about to do this.

    Laurel picks up a knife, the same used to skin their fish.

    LAUREL

    It will be a great story to tell.

    CARLY

    What about sharks

    LAUREL

    If you see a shark, get out.

    CARLY

    Great.

    Laurel moves down to the swim deck. She holds a line tied around her waist.

    LAUREL

    We’ll do this in shifts. Trade back and forth. I’ll go down first. When I come up, you go in. Keep cutting.

    (off her look)

    We can do this.

    CARLY

    (nods)

    I know.

    LAUREL

    Okay then.

    Laurel steps to the edge.

    CARLY

    Wait.

    LAUREL

    What?

    CARLY

    Do you know how deep it is?

    LAUREL

    What?

    CARLY

    How deep the water is?

    LAUREL

    Deep!

    CARLY

    Did you check?

    LAUREL

    No!

    CARLY

    Why not?

    LAUREL

    Because I don’t want to know either!

    Laurel steps forward and plunges into the water. She comes up right away.

    Carly moves down to the swim deck, holding her own safety line in a tight grip.

    CARLY

    Well?

    LAUREL

    It’s cold. Let’s hurry this up.

    Carly slips into the water much more slowly. Carly lets out a noise through her teeth as the cold water wraps her body.

    CARLY

    The knife?

    LAUREL

    Got it. Back in a minute.

    EXT. UNDERWATER – DAY

    Laurel goes under and immediately heads for the prop. Sure enough, the line is a tightly wound mess.

    She pulls free the loose parts and starts cutting.

    As she saws at it, a part of the line splits free. Laurel pushes off and heads to the surface.

    EXT. OCEAN – DAY

    Laurel comes up blowing out a huge volume of air. She hands the knife to Carly.

    LAUREL

    Be careful. And, don’t drop the knife.

    CARLY

    Right.

    Carly dives under.

    EXT. UNDERWATER – CONTINUOUS

    Carly follows the hull’s contours and reaches the prop. She pulls on the line and then cuts at it. She slides the knife back and forth working a chunk of the line free.

    She pulls on the frays and it untangles. She pushes off and heads for the surface.

    EXT. ATLANTIC OCEAN

    Carly comes up for air.

    CARLY

    It’s working. Just a bit more left.

    Laurel takes the knife and dives under.

    EXT. UNDERWATER

    Laurel reaches the prop and starts sawing at the torn line again. The last bit loosens and the rope drifts free of the prop.

    Laurel looks it over, and then pushes off.

    EXT. ATLANTIC OCEAN

    Laurel comes up.

    LAUREL

    Got it!

    CARLY

    Thank God!

    I/E. YACHT – CONTINUOUS

    Carly hoists herself up onto the boat. She turns and takes the knife from her mother. Setting the knife aside, she pulls her mother from the water.

    Teeth CHATTERING, Carly heads to the helm.

    CARLY

    Here we go!

    She presses the buttons. The starter turns and the engine comes to life!

    CARLY

    YES!!!

    EXT. ATLANTIC OCEAN

    Unhindered, the catamaran sails on.

    I/E. YACHT – DAY

    Carly and Laurel lay on the bow. Carly’s sunhat over her face.

    CARLY

    You wanted to do this, didn’t you.

    Laurel props herself up to look at her daughter. Her eyes studying her own. She lays back.

    LAUREL

    I thought…

    CARLY

    You thought it would connect you to Dad.

    Laurel summons a nod.

    CARLY

    He would have loved this.

    EXT. ATLANTIC OCEAN

    Serene. Blue. The only sound is the most relaxing mix of air and waves. The type of ambiance others may recreate digitally for a good night’s sleep.

    The Catamaran is so small on the vastness of the ocean, and yet it dominates the waves and commands the wind to carry it forward.

    INT. SALON – DAY

    Carly emerges from her side of the yacht rubbing sleep from her eyes. She notices the doors are open, and the KUERIG is on.

    A mug and an unopened tea bag sits next to it. She looks up through the sunroof and sees the mainsail is out.

    I/E. YACHT – DAY

    Hot MUG in hand, Carly steps into the cockpit and up to the helm where she finds her mother, relishing the morning air.

    Carly gestures to her mug.

    CARLY

    Thanks.

    Laurel smiles.

    CARLY

    How’s the boat?

    LAUREL

    She good.

    Laurel nods forward, beckoning Carly to look. Carly looks ahead.

    LAND. Just poking over the hazing horizon the peak of a small island.

    CARLY

    Wow. We did it.

    LAUREL

    We did.

    They sail in silence, marveling over the sight before them. The end of their journey now lies ahead. The ocean, it’s memories, behind them.

    LAUREL

    Grant will be there. You should straighten up your cabin. We’ll stay in the hotel tonight.

    They watch the water together. The sails. Listen to the light waves.

    I/E. YACHT – DAY

    The sails are stowed. The engines PURR. Carly, barefoot, moves across the bow deploying fenders tied to knots she expertly formed.

    Yachts in their slips surround them as Laurel pilots the boat slowly through a Marina.

    Ahead, Carly sees their own slip. She can see a few people standing on the dock that stand out from the tanned dockworkers moving about. Dressed all too American.

    Carly moves back to the helm next to Laurel. Her mom sees them too.

    LAUREL

    You want dock?

    CARLY

    Yeah?

    LAUREL

    Sure. I’ll spot for you.

    CARLY

    (concerned)

    But what if–

    LAUREL

    You’ll be fine.

    Laurel steps aside making room for her daughter. Carly takes the wheel.

    LAUREL

    Put your other hand on the throttles. You can steer by these pushing one over the other.

    CARLY

    Got it.

    LAUREL

    Keep it slow. The wind is out of the south. That should make it a little easier.

    Carly fully takes the helm. Her eyes watch the bow of the boat. Laurel looks on giving her daughter space.

    LAUREL

    I’ll throw the lines.

    Laurel moves tot he bow and begins to prep lines at each corner of the boat.

    Laurel steps to the starboard bow, LINE in hand. She nods to the Americans standing on the dock.

    LAUREL

    Hi Grant. Lacey.

    GRANT

    (smiles)

    Laurel. Good to see you. It’s a beautiful vessel.

    Laurel tosses him the line.

    LAUREL

    Yes she is. Hi Lacey.

    LACEY

    You got some sun.

    Grant takes the line and wraps it professionally around a nearby cleat. A DOCK HAND runs across grabbing a second line from Laurel on the port side.

    Carly watches them secure the boat. She cuts the throttle and moves to the starboard aft. She grabs a line and turns to see Grant standing there with an empty hand ready to take the line.

    GRANT

    You must be Carly.

    (beat)

    Grant Donavan. I’ve heard a lot about you.

    Carly hands him the line and he secures it quickly on a cleat. Grant point to the other end of the line.

    GRANT

    You’ll want to tighten that end up.

    Carly looks down and pulls the line. She wraps it a few times.

    GRANT

    Permission to come aboard?

    CARLY

    Yeah. Sure.

    Grant steps on board. He eyes the surroundings.

    GRANT

    Thanks for taking such good care of her.

    Carly nods awkwardly.

    GRANT

    Well, I’m sure you both need to get some rest. We’re set up in the hotel just over there.

    (to Carly)

    And yes, they have wifi.

    INT. CARLY’S CABIN – MOMENTS LATER

    Carly ZIPS her bag shut, and throws the straps over her shoulder. She smooths the sheets on the bed, and stops. She lifts the mattress and retrieves her map and compass. She turns the compass over in her hand.

    Biting her lip, she sets it on the bed. She stares at it for a moment, and then walks out.

    The compass, abandoned, rests neatly on the made bed.

    The door swings open and Carly darts in, grabs the compass, and races out.

    I/E. YACHT – CONTINUOUS

    Carly emerges greeted by Grant and her Mother.

    LAUREL

    Got everything?

    CARLY

    Yeah.

    LAUREL

    Mr. Donavan is going to take it for a demo cruise this afternoon.

    GRANT

    Not far. Just out from the marina where I can open the sails.

    LAUREL

    He’s asked if you would care to go.

    CARLY

    You aren’t going?

    LAUREL

    I have a conference call setup this afternoon.

    GRANT

    No rest for our future CEO.

    CARLY

    (to Grant)

    I’ll pass.

    LAUREL

    You sure?

    GRANT

    It’s fine. I’ll manage.

    Carly, bag over her shoulder, carrying her heels in the other hand, steps onto the dock barefoot. She stumbles a bit, and Lacey quickly grabs her.

    LACEY

    Sea legs?

    CARLY

    I guess so.

    INT. HOTEL ROOM – DAY

    Carly lays on her back in bed. Wrapped in a towel. Hair still wet. Staring at the ceiling.

    Laurel walks into the room, and hands her a note.

    LAUREL

    Here’s the wifi password.

    CARLY

    My phone’s dead.

    LAUREL

    I’ll just set this over here then.

    Carly continues staring at the ceiling.

    CARLY

    Did he take the boat out?

    Laurel walks over to the window overlooking the marina.

    LAUREL

    Looks like it.

    (beat)

    Listen, I’ll be in a meeting for the next little while. They gave us a private conference room downstairs. So, if you need something.

    Laurel looks at her. Carly doesn’t respond. Laurel heads for the door.

    LAUREL

    We’re on the first flight out tomorrow morning.

    Laurel leaves and the door latches shut.

  • Giles

    Member
    January 23, 2022 at 10:47 pm

    Charles Ferrell’s Finish Act 3

    What I learned doing this assignment are more little gems revealed by characters, that cause me to add scenes or dialog to earlier Acts.

    ACT 3

    INT.THE LIBRARY BAR – AFTERNOON

    Duncan asks Lance to join him at the bar, says to meet him in a booth, preferably in the back. Passing other booths some of his students speak to him.

    STUDENT 1

    Hey, sorry man

    DUNCAN SMALLS

    sorry for what?

    STUDENT 2

    You missed morning class and, well that asshat Winfield came in and said you were on the outs

    STUDENT 1

    And he said it like it was a good thing, I hate that asshole, anything we can do to help? Hey,I am on the school newspaper (the other student rolls his eyes) what?

    DUNCAN SMALLS

    Thanks, but no thanks..I have to work it out

    Duncan begins to walk away with a polite smile toward the back booth that is in his sites, the student turns over his shoulder to him and says

    STUDENT 1

    Ya know, if you change you mind, I’m doing an internship at the state paper too.

    STUDENT 2

    You mean where your daddy is the editor?

    STUDENT 1

    Shut up, ya dick!

    DUNCAN SMALLS

    I’ll keep that in mind (shaking his head no slowly, and sits down at the booth where Lance is waiting)

    LANCE LARRSON

    So, buddy, whats up..you looking a little green around the gills

    DUNCAN SMALLS

    Hitomi’s in the hospital and I just got fired, well suspended

    LANCE LARRSON

    I thought she’s in the hospital everyday cause she works there, and how did you get fired?

    DUNCAN SMALLS

    She’s in the hospital, not at the hospital and I apparently jumped the gun on my thesis

    LANCE LARRSON

    Lance leans back and makes a time out sign with his hands

    Wait, what, time out…Back up this train. Your girl is a patient and not treating them and you somehow got fired because of your thesis?

    DUNCAN SMALLS

    I got the Regent to approve my theme and that pissed off the Chancellor who fired me, for going over his head. Hitomi got run off the road, Oh and someone broke into my car.

    DUNCAN SMALLS

    I think someone is out to get me

    Lance puts his face in hands then rubs them back and forth across his head a few times, he pulls out a cigarette and lights it

    DUNCAN SMALLS

    Mind if I have one (reaching out, Lance hands him one and lights it)

    LANCE LARRSON

    Yeah, buddy..I think we need the old glass bong for this one. (takes a long deep drag) so first off, is your girl ok?

    DUNCAN SMALLS

    Yeah, just a broken arm and banged up but she’s safe in the hospital

    LANCE LARRSON

    Ok, check one. Anything taken out of your car?

    DUNCAN SMALLS

    Yeah, file copies for my research

    LANCE LARRSON

    Well, you can make new copies…no biggee (nodding his head as if he’s working it all out)

    DUNCAN SMALLS

    Nope, the originals were stolen from the state archives and someone tossed my apartment

    LANCE LARRSON

    Now that is interesting, quite curious indeed…so some dip shit misplaced them, coincidence man, at the same time your girl gets in a fender bender..oh and some student broke into your place to steal pizza money…for sure a bad day but by no means CIA shit.

    Duncan is looking out the window and checking around the room, obviously spinning in his head

    LANCE LARRSON

    Hey man, I appreciate you reaching out but what is it you want me to do. I’d think you would want to be with your girl right now..

    DUNCAN SMALLS

    I want you to help me steal a boat, I need to know whats in that lake.

    LANCE LARRSON

    Doo, Whaaat? Friends are supposed to help you hide the bodies, not search for them. I’m not a thief.

    DUNCAN SMALLS

    I know you didn’t buy all that shit in our dorm room, I need your help now.

    LANCE LARRSON

    Hey, you used that stereo just as much as I did. So I don’t wanna hear any shit out of you…Look, we can’t steal a boat and..and even if we did, say we find an old boot or a helmet? That proves nothing, its just old trash.

    DUNCAN SMALLS

    I know I’m onto something, I can feel it, someone is out to stop me..Now I have to know

    LANCE LARRSON

    Since when are you going by feelings or beliefs? Look, this is def some overthinking and not overdrinking, conspiracy theory shit…none for me buddy, I’m out!

    EXT.SPORTING GOODS STORE – EARLY EVENING

    Duncan drives to a local large sporting goods store and is walking outside in the area where they display the different types of fishing boats, when a salesman walks up.

    SALESMEN

    You look like crappie to me

    DUNCAN SMALLS

    Excuse me? I look like what

    SALESMEN

    Never mind, bad fishing joke, lets start over, How can I help?

    DUNCAN SMALLS

    (takes a beat in thought) bottom fishing

    SALESMEN

    Local lake, rivers, do you want to travel with it?

    DUNCAN SMALLS

    How do I know that I’m in the right spot? I don’t have a lot of extra time?

    SALESMEN

    Ahh, lets not mess around kinda guy, you want a fish finder. Lets step inside and I’ll show you.

    They walk together inside as the salesmen continues to talk, they head toward a giant fish tank with all types of fish.

    SALESMEN

    These babies will show you schools of fish, logs and other obstructions that attract fish and could get you hung up.

    DUNCAN SMALLS

    Hmm, how do I know the difference between fish and obstructions

    SALESMEN

    With the latest live sonar, you will get live video in incredible detail just like a shipwreck hunter on tv.

    DUNCAN SMALLS

    How much is the boat I was looking at and how much is this live sonar?

    SALESMEN

    That bass hunter boat is $22,000

    DUNCAN SMALLS

    Whoa!…and the sonar?

    SALESMEN

    The live sonar is $1,499 and I’ll throw in a battery to run it.

    DUNCAN SMALLS

    Does it have a carry case, or maybe fit in a backpack?

    SALESMEN

    Turns his head struggling to understand the thought pattern but is not about to pass up a sale

    Ya know these are made to be permanently mounted to a boat like that bass hunter. Nevermind, if you buy the live sonar, I’ll throw in a battery and we’ll go over to camping gear and find a backpack that works for you. How’s that?

    DUNCAN SMALLS

    Deal!

    INT.DUNCAN APT – NIGHT

    Duncan struggles to stay awake to avoid another nightmare, finally dozes off and has the most detail gruesome dream of all. Paces the room after waking searching for a solution.

    EXT.LAKE DOCKS – NIGHT

    Sneaking between lake front houses, looking for a boat and has some close calls at getting caught.

    DUNCAN SMALLS

    This looks like a good one, only one rope holding it.

    LANCE LARRSON

    I don’t know how I let you talk me into this shit

    DUNCAN SMALLS

    You didn’t want to be left out of any the glory

    LANCE LARRSON

    I’m standing in mud that smells like dead fish, I’m cold and sneaking around in the dark..there is no glory to be found here. And what is sticking out of your backpack there, super solider?

    DUNCAN SMALLS

    Fish finder and a battery to run it, stop yapping and help me push this out of the dock

    LANCE LARRSON

    Climbs in the boat and starts to quietly paddle, talking to Duncans back

    So uh, what fish are we catching with no poles or net?

    DUNCAN SMALLS

    Just looking for any patterns on the bottom that might look man made.

    LANCE LARRSON

    So you know how to figure out the difference between natural and man made with that finder?

    DUNCAN SMALLS

    I got a 15 min lesson in the big tank at the sporting goods store…

    I also know from my archaeology classes, that there are no right angles in nature. Straight lines and right angles are man made. Now, shut up and let me think,,,school of fish, stump,,big ass log, I think have, I have some straight lines

    LANCE LARRSON

    Shit! Boat headed this way with an engine…shut that monitor off and help me paddle!

    INT.THE LIBRARY BAR – MIDDAY

    Both looking tired Duncan and Lance regroup just as the bar is opening

    DUNCAN SMALLS

    Can you believe it? One little trip out and we found something, something man made!

    LANCE LARRSON

    I believe we almost got our asses caught, so far I’m still teaching here and well, would prefer to keep it that way.

    DUNCAN SMALLS

    This could be huge, we,,,we could change history with this!

    LANCE LARRSON

    I don’t know about changing history or even altering the future but I got a strong feeling it could sure fuckup my current situation. So how’s your girl doing?

    DUNCAN SMALLS

    She is still at the hospital, I’m sure she is fine with her people.

    LANCE LARRSON

    Soooo, you haven’t checked on her this morning? You need to drop this lake shit and go check on the last good thing you have going for you.

    DUNCAN SMALLS

    I believe we are really close, we have to keep pressing!

    LANCE LARRSON

    Again with this belief shit? Who is this talking, you are trashing everything you have worked for over some nightmares cause you ate junk food before you went to bed or something?

    DUNCAN SMALLS

    (snaps back in a serious tone) So are you with me or not?

    LANCE LARRSON

    With you? This isn’t some US against them movie. This is your life, wake up? And no, I can’t be doing this, go back to searching archives and reading books.

    DUNCAN SMALLS

    (looking off out the window, nodding his head) All right, I get it. You are all about some fun, but when shit gets real, when it gets hard you bail out. (looks dead at him) I don’t fucking need you, at all.

    Gets up and storms out of the bar

    LANCE LARRSON

    Stays seated letting him walk out while calling

    Hey, hey..(now to himself) that guys is gonna end up in jail or dead anyway.

    EXT.LAKE DOCKS – NIGHT

    Frustrated and alone Duncan steals the same boat again, struggles to paddle it alone

    DUNCAN SMALLS

    I’m better off alone anyway, dip shit Lance doesn’t understand. I’ll set the obstruction alarm on the sonar and just paddle around, wait for it to go off.

    Trying to paddle evenly on each side alone, he occasionally bangs the side of boat on the quiet lake, it echoes off the houses. Alone he is making less forward progress.

    DUNCAN SMALLS

    Ugggh, what am I doing out here. This is ridiculous

    He faintly hears the lapping of water against a hull, as if a large vessel is crossing the shallow lake. From out of the rolling fog in the distance he sees a fishing trawler. He can see men, translucent men, lowering nets over the sides as the large ship with no engine noise moves toward him.

    DUNCAN SMALLS

    What in the holy hell? (rubs his eyes) Now I’m really loosing it.

    The ship glides right in front of him with no wake, trees and stumps pass through the center of its hull. He can see up above him 8 to 10 feet in the air the name “Onryo” on the side of its hull. Clearly the men are all japanese and don’t seem to be aware of his presence. The fog has followed the ship and now engulfs Duncan and his boat. As the end of the boat passes, he sees one older man who is not working but observing the others, turns and looks directly at Duncan expressionless and yet knowing, not breaking eye contact.

    DUNCAN SMALLS

    Who are you? (he begins to paddle, trying to follow the gliding ship)

    Paddling hastily with no concern for noise, he begins to catch the ship as it becomes more translucent and fades.

    DUNCAN SMALLS

    No, wait, I don’t understand

    Beep Beep Beep, the fish finder obstruction alarm goes off and the monitor comes alive with a detailed sonar picture from below, he can’t believe his eyes.

    INT.DUNCAN APT – 1 AM

    Comes home wet smelling like fishy water, after the second night of searching the lake in a stolen boat

    HITOMI NAKAMURA

    Where have you been sneaking out too,, night after night, as if I didn’t know,,,,and what is that god awful smell?

    DUNCAN SMALLS

    The lake and lake water,,,maybe a little fishy mud? You won’t belive what I saw and what is down there!

    HITOMI NAKAMURA

    The lake? In the dark, in the middle of the night? You don’t even fish,, Oh and I know you got fired, a letter and your last partial check is on the bar, when were you going to tell me that?…You know what, I don’t want to know what you are doing.

    She starts packing a few things into a large bag she pulls out the hall closet, he still stands dripping wet on the entry rug.

    HITOMI NAKAMURA

    Someone ran me off the road, when I woke up you were not there. You got fired and now you are doing god knows what in the middle of the night. You obviously have some shit to figure out and you will be doing without me.

    DUNCAN SMALLS

    (interrupts) I’m really onto something!

    HITOMI NAKAMURA

    (she interrupts him) she has now pushed past him and is outside his apartment looking back

    Look, (looks at her watch) i have to be on shift in a few hours, I don’t have time for this.

    I’m going to my rental car and I’m sleeping at my place from now on. call me, if and when you figure it all out.

    DUNCAN SMALLS

    (mumble to himself) You don’t understand, this is real.

    HITOMI NAKAMURA

    I heard that, I’m clear that you don’t think I understand. (climbs in her car and slams the door)

    EXT.LAKE DOCKS – 3 AM

    Alone in the world with no reason to stay home he returns the lake with paper and pen in his backpack to map out the foundations of buildings he found on the bottom.

    He quietly climbs into the same boat and begins to unpack his backpack

    DUNCAN SMALLS

    (to himself) fish finder, battery, notepad, pe..

    when there is a hand on his shoulder.

    FAKE POLICE THUG 1

    You are gonna need to come with us sir.

    DUNCAN SMALLS

    But I was just,

    FAKE POLICE THUG 1

    Don’t bother, we know this isn’t your house or your boat. Please don’t make this difficult for yourself.

    They cuff him by flashlight and put him in the back of an unmarked car.

    INT.EMERGENCY ROOM – 5 AM

    NURSE 1

    Hey Doc, your boyfriend is here

    HITOMI NAKAMURA

    You have got to be kidding me, get security

    NURSE 1

    Security? Security for Mr. Jenkins?

    HITOMI NAKAMURA

    Oh shit, I’m sorry I thought..well never mind. What exam is he in?

    NURSE 1

    He’s not in yet but looks like 7 is up next

    The nurse begins to walk away then remembers something and quickly turns around.

    EMT, says Mr. Jenkins is bringing you a gift!

    HITOMI NAKAMURA

    A gift?…that’s a little odd and all I got him was an IV. Well, I never was good at gift giving anyway.

    NURSE 1

    Turns and motions toward the other end of the hall

    There is your date now! Will you two be having the usual? Saline IV, warm blankets and maybe a bed pan?

    HITOMI NAKAMURA

    Throw in a cup of that burnt coffee and it’s a date!

    Both have a laugh

    EXT.DIRT ROAD – BEFORE DAWN

    Police have Duncan cuffed in the backseat, pull out from the lake onto the two lane highway and then turn off the highway down a dirt road.

    DUNCAN SMALLS

    I always put the boat back, its not technically stealing.

    FAKE POLICE THUG 1

    No one gives a damn about a boat, do you really think this is about the boat?

    DUNCAN SMALLS

    This isn’t the way to town, or the police station

    FAKE POLICE THUG 1

    Great guess genius (he says removing his uniform, he looks at the cop driving) He really doesn’t know.

    DUNCAN SMALLS

    I’m guessing you two aren’t the police?

    FAKE POLICE THUG 1

    Another great guess, you catch on fast but not fast enough, you came along without a fight. (he looks at the driver and they laugh)

    They reach the end of the dirt road and pull over, the driver gets out and removes his police costume and they drag Duncan from the car.

    FAKE POLICE THUG 1

    We are going to have this little chat, one time and one time only. (he punches duncan who is on his knees in the dirt handcuffed) No more questions about the lake, or any camp nonsense

    FAKE POLICE THUG 2

    (kicks Duncan in the stomach) We really need to you to get, that this is serious, some people don’t like your questions.

    They continue to beat him bloody, then remove his handcuffs and pull away, leaving him lying in the dirt with the rising sun

    Duncan hears the car stop down the road, looking through a bloody swollen eye, hoping they are not coming back he notices another car that was watching by the dashboard light it looks to be professor Winfield, he then pulls away.

    INT.EMERGENCY ROOM

    EMT 1

    Morning Dr., He’s slightly dehydrated not lucid and been mumbling something about bringing the hard candy. He was clinging to this old box of stuff. When we tried to leave without the box he lost it, which made us nervous about his BP so we just brought it to keep him calm. No weapons or drugs in it, just pictures and harmless old man stuff.

    HITOMI NAKAMURA

    Thank you (turns to nurse) see if we can get an IV started and check his vitals

    Hitomi standing beside Mr. Jenkins bed turns to walk out and he with shocking speed grabs her sleeve

    MR. JENKINS

    I brought more hard candy like I promised (with a little smile)

    HITOMI NAKAMURA

    That’s very nice of you, we will get you feeling better soon

    He grips her sleeve tighter and begins to cry speaking through his tears

    MR. JENKINS

    I’m sorry, I couldn’t do more, please tell the others I’m sorry (sobbing uncontrollably)

    HITOMI NAKAMURA

    Sir I need you to be calm, please take a deep breath and try to get some rest while we get you hydrated.

    MR. JENKINS

    (still sobbing) I’m sorry Aiko, I’m so sorry

    HITOMI NAKAMURA

    (looks at the nurse) make a note for social services on the name Aiko, might be a family member they could contact, Oh,, and tell them about the box. (she pats his arm and pulls away, walking out)

    EXT.UNIVERSITY – MORNING

    We see Duncan dirty, bloody and tired walking near the end of the dirt road, now reaching the paved road he is hitchhiking.

    We see a local give him a ride to the university in the back of his truck.

    He reaches his apartment to find a notice on the door, one says he has been removed from the university. The second says student housing is only for faculty and students only and he has 10 days to move out.

  • Patrick Downey

    Member
    January 24, 2022 at 3:31 am

    Patrick Downey – Completed Act 3

    What I learned doing this assignment is that I was a little light on material in scene 3 and this is where I need to make up some material that will get me the additional pages I need to reach the 90 – 100 page mark.

    INT. H.A.V.O.C. OFFICE – DAY

    The HAVOC four have returned to the office the Saturday before the Superbowl a little more relaxed after winning back most of their money on the Championship games and still having their overall pick make it to the Superbowl. A still skeptical but renewed confidence in Dardanos by the other men sets the tone for what Dardanos and his arrogance is about to propose. This is exactly the calculated move Cayman was banking on and he couldn’t have been more correct.

    Dardanos

    Gentlemen, I’ve instructed Crutch to deliver some of the highest payouts in HAVOC history to ensure everything goes according to my plan.

    Patrick

    Dardanos, I don’t like how you spend our money without telling us first!

    Graham

    That is some bullshit! We don’t run this company like that ever!

    Dardanos

    Yeah, you boys will be kissing my ass and thanking me when tomorrow night is over.

    What they don’t know is that Crutch never exactly made it to his destination. As a matter of fact, he is in South Beach, FL., with Audie, Carmella, and about 30 of their family members and close friends at the home of Audie on Star Island for the Superbowl weekend.

    INT. O’HARE INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT TERMINAL – NIGHT

    Crutch is heading for the check station where Lt. Lundy works with a gift bag in hand.

    Crutch

    Lt. what up man! (The two shake hands and hug)

    Lt. Lundy

    It’s kind of late in the season for you to be going somewhere isn’t it?

    Crutch

    This is pure pleasure my man! I’m off to Miami to work on my tan! (They both laugh)

    However, I wanted to drop this off with you on my way out.

    Crutch hands Lt. a gift bag and as he reaches his hand in and pulls out a Baltimore Ravens jersey with Lundy on the back and signed by the entire team.

    Lt. Lundy

    Ohhhh man! That’s too much! I can’t believe you remembered.

    Lt. Lundy is in full tear mode and doesn’t care who sees him. He gives Crutch a big bear hug around his mid-section and holds on for a full 15 seconds.

    Dude! My wife is going to go crazy! You don’t understand what this means to my family. Thank you, thank you, thank you! If there is anything I can ever do for you, just ask.

    Crutch

    Lt. you have always been good to me, and I can see that you’re a good man that loves his family. So, I’m glad I could do this for you. Peace out brother!

    Lt. Lundy

    God bless you Crutch!

    Crutch heads down the terminal turns and does a touchdown signal with his arms at Lt. Lundy

    EXT. AUDIE’S HOME – DAY

    We see this beautiful house filled with party guests both inside and outside. On the large screens is the pre-game show for the Superbowl hosted in Chicago.

    Crutch

    Audie, Carmella can I talk to you guys out front for a minute?

    Audie/Carmella

    Ya, sure.

    Crutch walks over to his Bently parked in the dirveway and opens the trunk. Inside neatly arranged are 10 large gym bags lying side by side in two rows.

    Crutch

    Inside each of these bags is the money given to me by Dardanos for various payoffs. Each gym bag contains $6 million dollars and I want to make sure we all get a piece of this action.

    Carmella

    Wow! That’s a lot of money. They must have really gone after a huge payday.

    Audie

    You know guys, I’m good. Really. Why don’t the two of you just enjoy it! As a matter of fact, you’ve earned it!

    As Audie walks back to the house, Carmella and Crutch stand there just looking at the bags in disbelief. They share a huge hug and a laugh! Carmella wipes tears from her eyes and Crutch lets out a yell.

    Carmella

    Crutch lets go get a bottle of Cristal for each one of us!

    Crutch

    Now you’re talking mama!

  • Benito Selim

    Member
    January 24, 2022 at 5:46 am

    Benito Selim’s Completed Act 3

    What I learned in this assignment is to pull out all the stops and just go crazy in this act, it will help with your closing act and climax to the film.

    ACT 3

    EXT. DARRYL’S DORM- LATER

    Darryl arrives at his dorm and is met by Tina, her sorority sisters, and the police.

    Tina yells at Darryl which he questions. Tina tells him she found Karen’s locket in his clothing. She is upset he hid knowing her.

    Tina told him she notified the police. Detective Garnett takes Darryl into custody for questioning. His friends watch speechless as he is taken away.

    INT. ELLEN’S HOUSE- EVENING

    Ellen settles in for the evening when she hears noises coming from outside her house.

    Ellen grabs her gun and investigates. A dark figure appears and attacks her, it knocks her gun out of her hand. Ellen fights back and tries to regain her gun.

    Ellen retrieves her gun again and fires. She hits the figure, she pulls on their face cover, but can only see their eyes. The figure slashes their arm and gets away.

    INT. POLICE STATION INTERROGATION ROOM- LATER

    Detective Garnett questions Darryl about being in possession of the locket. Darryl tells him he found it at Starkoaks, which Detective Garnett questions.

    Detective Garnett then questions his relationship with Ellen.

    Detective Garnett tells Darryl he cannot hold him since there is no evidence of foul play but warns him that Ellen is dangerous and caused the former sheriff to be committed. Detective Garnett informs Darryl he will be keeping his eye on him.

    INT. CAMPUS BAR- NIGHT

    Darryl enters the bar to stares and whispers. Tina and he make eye contact, she gathers her belongings and exits with her sorority sisters/roommates Katelynn and Trish. The three make derogatory comments towards him.

    Darryl is alone now, no one wants to talk to him. Eddie, Jeffrey, and Gary’s frat brother also Katelynn’s boyfriend, gets in Darryl’s face, but Gary intervened. Gary walks Darryl to a table where the rest of his friends sit. They’re concerned about him.

    Darryl feeling low decides to leave. Gary turns Lorraine, Calvin, Andrew, and Marcus and gives his doubt that Darryl can innocent, Marcus is the only one who gives an argument and says he doesn’t believe Darryl is a killer.

    EXT. CAMPUS BAR- LATER

    Darryl attempts to speak with Tina, but Katelynn and Trish intercept him. Darryl pleads with his innocence.

    Tina enters a vehicle while the girls continue to yell at Darryl. Eddy walks up to Darryl and punches him. A crowd now forms, and security makes its way over.

    Tina leaves with Eddy and her sorority sisters. Security helps Darryl up and the crowd disperses. Marcus runs out hearing the commotion and aids Darryl.

    INT. DARRYL’S DORM- LATER

    Marcus walks Darryl to his dorms. Darryl enters his dorm and takes his pills again. He doubts his medium abilities now.

    INT. TINA’S APARTMENT- LATER

    Tina, Eddy, and her roommates settle in for the night. The unknown figure creeps throughout the apartment unknown to the housemates.

    Eddy is surprised by the assailant and killed; Katelynn runs out to the patio where she is thrown over to the death.

    Trish and Tina barricade themselves in their room, but the assailant gets in. the two hit him over the head with a lamp and run towards the door. The assailant catches up to them, he stabs Trish through the front door and kills her. The assailant turns to Tina and stabs her the scene cuts to black.

    INT. DORM BATHROOM- MORNING

    Darryl pulls pills out of his toiletries bag, he takes two and gives himself a long look in the mirror, he tells himself it’s over and even says sorry to Karen.

    Darryl washes his face, but when he opens his eyes, he is now at Starkoaks. Karen stands in the distance, they both stare at each other. Karen suddenly appears in front of him and grabs onto him,

    Darryl becomes her and is being murdered, he is fighting back, but losing, his arm is cut with a knife. Darryl removes the face-covering off the killer’s face and catches a glimpse of the killer’s eyes.

    Darryl comes out of the trance and is kicking and screaming. By this time Marcus and Gary are trying to restrain him. Gary is kicked off and hits his leg hard onto the wall.

    Marcus wakes Darryl who has a gash on his arm. He rambles on about being in Karen’s place. Marcus and Gary help him to his dorm, past the crowd that has formed.

    INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT- LATER

    Detective Garnett goes through files and comes across Ellen Paisley.

    Detective Garnett realizes Ellen and Paisley are connected to the same case. He comes across the sheriff as well and attempts to contact him. Detective Garnett is informed the sheriff died a month ago from an apparent suicide.

    END: Detective Garnett then contacts Ellen and learns she is being treated for wounds sustained from her attack. Officer Hicks notifies Garnett that Tina is in the hospital as well, surviving the attack on her and her roommates.

    INT. DARRYL’S DORM- LATER

    After his premonition, Darryl rushes to his dorm to get changed. Marcus is right behind and insists he goes to the hospital. Gary comes in and is limping.

    Darryl denies Marcus’ requests and says he must go.

    Marcus insists on driving him where he needs to go, Gary stays behind and questions.

    INT. MARCUS’S MOVING VEHICLE- LATER

    Marcus drives Darryl to Ellen’s house. Darryl tells Marcus about his schizophrenia and why he hid it from everyone.

    Marcus questions if he is having illusions. Darryl denies and tells him about Ellen informing him about his gift.

    Marcus is reluctant to believe but continues with their trip. Darryl tells Marcus to make a detour to the hospital instead. Marcus questions, Darryl insists and tells him everything will eventually make sense.

    EXT. COLLEGE CAMPUS COURTYARD- AFTERNOON

    Gary joins Lorraine, Andrew, and Calvin, they inform Gary about the murders off-campus.

    Lorraine informs Gary rumors are flying that Darryl snapped because of the altercation at the bar. Gary tells them about the mental breakdown Darryl had in the morning.

    Calvin disagrees and says he found something at the farm that day also. He invites the group back to the edit suite. They agree to meet him later since they all must go to class.

    INT. HOSPITAL- LATER

    Darryl and Marcus check to see if Ellen has been admitted. The nurse informs them she is being discharged. A nurse passes pushing a gurney with Tina on it.

    Darryl immediately runs to her and questions. Tina acts frighten and asks him why. Darryl is confused and runs away. He meets back up with Marcus as Ellen enters the lobby.

    Ellen tells them they need to leave now everyone with Darryl’s circle is in danger and this case needs to be resolved. They leave as Detective Garnett arrives, he informs other officers to follow the car and he’ll get their location later.

    INT. EDIT SUIT- LATER

    Calvin waits for his friends to arrive but decides to call Marcus since he can’t get ahold of Darryl.

    Calvin leaves a message for Marcus to pass on to Darryl. Calvin reveals he found a fraternity pin at the farm, but it doesn’t belong to Jeff. He believes Jeff and Karen were set up but does not know why.

    Calvin hangs up the phone and is attacked and killed.

    INT. HOSPITAL ROOM- LATER

    The officers inform Detective Garnett where Darryl is. Garnett informs them he’ll be on his way shortly. Detective Garnett wraps up his interview with Tina. She expresses she believes Darryl attacked her.

    Detective Garnett doesn’t quite believe it and asks the doctor on his way out if he can a copy of the medical report. The detective leaves the hospital.

    The doctor walks into the ER room to assist Tina, but she is gone.

    INT. ELLEN’S HOUSE- EVENING

    Ellen secures her house with the boys; she informs them she was attacked because these recent disappearances are connected to her and the Vernon case. There’s a knock on the door.

    Detective Garnett arrives, Ellen invites him in. Darryl and Marcus question, but she informs them; it involves Garnett too. Garnett was a rookie patrol at the time of Vernon’s arrest. In fact, he helped with taking him down, he will be targeted too.

    Ellen tells them Vernon had other accomplices and even a child no one knew about. She believes one or all of them are coming back for revenge.

    BEGIN FLASHBACK

    EXT. PARK- DAY

    Darryl age 8 plays with other kids when he notices Silvia, she removes old posters of Emily missing and puts up fresh ones.

    Darryl approaches her. Silvia instantly remembers him; she holds her composure and asks about Emily. Darryl tells her details only her mother would know. She asks her fate and Darryl passes on the info. Silvia grows emotional, Darryl’s mom arrives and pulls him away.

    Darryl continues to talk and tells Silvia where they’ll find her boys. Darryl’s mom yells at him to stop. Silvia tells her, her son has a gift and doesn’t let anyone take it from him. Silvia exits.

    END FLASHBACK

  • victor Valleau

    Member
    January 24, 2022 at 6:59 pm

    Vic Valleau Lessons 18-20 act 3 middle Scene 2/3/4 turning point (hits bottom)

    What I leaned: I lost lessons 18 and 19 rough drafts so shared hitting bottom experience with my 4 characters. Slug lines keep organization together. Also I clarified my layered writing drafts approach: Beat/Action (goal of each scene) to outline notes on begin, middle and end leading to skeleton dialogue, just enough to keep the action alive. Character building dialogue is almost unnecessary at this 20% stage.

    EXT. LAS VEGAS BLVD – NIGHT

    Luckless foursome are walking, Hitchhiking in the rain, having lost their New Tesla and Diamond Rolex. JT chatters.

    JT: Resorts World charged $21 to park and has 40 restaurants. Aren’t you glad we aren’t driving. There’s the Bellagio, see they took out the revolving door. Kept people waiting to get in. Dinner is $81.25 with a two months reservation. No takers? Well, the new Virgin Hotel is almost ready. Hey guys smile we could go to the new doggie hotel for free treats.

    NANCY: Doggie treats, no thanks for your dinner invitation, so romantic!

    JT: You’re not perfect either! You jumped the gun, thought McCarren airport was Harry Reid Airport. Kept your friends waiting!

    ALIE: What’s wrong with Las Vegas International? LVX?

    JT: TOO CONFUSING WITH LAX. Besides X means something.

    EXT. WEDDING CHCAPEL – NIGHT.

    In front of a Wedding chapel, Elvis’ neon lighted face beckons.

    JT; I came here for a vacation, not romance or… ..

    NMANCY: Interrupts … well maybe romance but not marriage!

    JT: Are you finishing my sentences?

    NANCY: Am I? You’re so predictable!

    ELTON: Funny, predictable, that’s exactly what he said about you.

    INT. WEDDING CHAPEL- VESTIBULE- NIGHT

    They go in to dry off.

    TOO ANGRY TO TALK, THEY SHAKE LIKE DOGS.

    JT: Sorry guys, big mistake that last roll of the dice. Sorry Elton! I was counting on the Watch and Tesla as our back up plan.

    NANCY: You have a gambling addiction JT, not good. You’re terrible gambler, not very good at all!

    ELTON Hot shot lawyer, you can’t pay your office bills, no wonder.

    ELIE: No comment!

    ELTON: So that’s what classy looks and sounds like!

    MINISTER COMES OUT. HE LOOKS AND TALKS LIKE BOB MARLEY.

    SO WHICH OF YOU FOLKS ARE itchin’ta get hooked up?

    The men each point at each other, laugh.

    Minister gives them free hotel room pass to dry off, recover, ready for trip back.

    MINISTER BOB: Hey mon. Whats ya doin mon! We need senorita for margueritta!

    U want married mon.

    First, we marry mon! Then we talk!

    CEREMONY

    Too cold and drunk to care, everyone goes along, signs final documents.

    MINISTER BOB: (WITHOUT ACCENT) WE love visitors! We have a gift for you from the Business Bureau.

    Vic Valleau Lesson 20 Finish Act 3

    INT. SPARSE HOTEL ROOM IN BASEMENT.

    NANCY IS CRUSHED BY ELIE’S accusations she is sleeping with Elton

    NANCY: I WOULD NEVER DOUBLE CROSS YOU.

    ELIE: What I saw was enough evidence, his hands all over you.

    NANCY: I PUSHED HIM AWAY.

    INT. CASINO – CONTINUOUS

    Jt SWIPES THEIR FREE PASS FOR HOTEL AND BUS BACK, GOES TO CASINO.

    JT: tells the group to relax, he’s got it covered, a free trip home for everyone, on Spirit airlines, suitcases in your lap and no drinks allowed.

    Problem is they can’t afford cash trip for bus to McCarrren. He can’t afford the shuttle bus fare to airport so gambles entire trip package to win back $100 for bus to airport.

    NANCY: That’s stupid, gamble our trip back!

    JT: hey its just $100, maybe you could turn a trick for a hundred bucks.

    She slaps him, huffs away.

    INT. CASINO – NIGHT

    MEANWHILE THEY FOLLOW TO BEG HIM TO STOP.JT goes to casino, loses free trip back to LA pass from Chamber of Commerce for losers over $50,000.

    ELIE: I HAVE WOMENS CLUB FRIENDS WE COULD IMPOSE ON, STAY OVER UNTIL WE FIGURE OUT A WAY HOME. We need to pretend were married. Sharee a bed. Promise, hands off?

    ELTON: I PROMISE HANDS OFF!

    ELIE: CAN I TRUST YOU AFTER WHATR YOU DID DTO MY FRIEND?

    ELTON: Never touched the woman. Men say touch a woman, go to jail but I never did!

    JT: Be quiet, I,m doing this for you! Help me concentrate on this bet. I lose, we camp out and walk home.

    ELTON 9WHISPERS TO ELIE) were doomed! Lets go now before he goes crazy, gets us thrown in jail!.

    Her friends. Duck and run.

    JT: No we are going to stay and fight. That’s what makes me a top lawyer, fighting for whats right!

    NANCY: Gambling is never right! Your aura is right, you’re damaged. I can help you, not destroy yourself. Walk away with us right now.

    They try to sleep in hallways of hotel, security kicks them out, k

    They try sleeping in parking lot, security throws them out.

    They go to an all night diner, kicks them out.

    Lesson 20

    JT rents a van with stolen credit card.

    Runs out of gas. While they drive into homeless camp.

    they pose as the police, terrorize a homeless camp, scare them away, steal their cardboard and dirty pillows.

    Drive to gas station, trick slip another’s credit card into their pump, then return it.

    EXT. VAN – NIGHT

    VAN IS HOISTED UP BY WRECKER, TOWED WITH THEM SLEEPING IN IT. They roll to back, out door, in big bundle. In front of JT friends in circular drive of casino

    His credit card was cancelled. Torn up, cut in half, taken away by bus boy in diner.

    INT. ENTRANCE TO HIGH ROLLERS CRAPS TABLE – NIGHT

    Guard asks everyone he doesn’t recognize to wait for computer scan which he flunks.

    NANCY: Are you getting a divorce? I’M PSYCHIC.

    JT: A divorce, right, I’m a lawyer.

    GUARD: Don’t forget sir, minimum bet is $10,000.

    NANCY: We don’t have $10,000.

    He sushes her, flashes id. .

    JT: Here’s my Lawyers card, worth more than a measely ten grand!

    GUARD: How did you know? About my divorce?

    We see him whispering to security guard: “Ill give you a free divorce if you let me in!

    GUARD: How did you know?

    JT: Yea, how do you know?

    NANCY: I’M PSYCHIC

    JT: Tan line around your wedding ring.

    GUARD: Tan lines around my old wedding ring! I never noticed.

    INT. HIGH ROLLERS CRAPS TABLE – CONTINUOUS.

    CROUPIER: Le Fait du jour, gentlemen le fait du jour jour!

    JT: Whats he saying Fay do jar?

    NANCY: No he says Le Fair de jour, make the day or place your bets now. Same as they say in Monte Carlo.

    JY: How would you know?

    NANCY: Rich husbands, rich cultured husbands, not hopeless gamblers like you!

    JT: You’re a jink. Leave.

    CROUPIER: Sir have the lady blow on your dice, good luck!

    JT: (to Nancy) Well either you blow now or blow later in my hotel suite.

    CROUPIER: No, You need it now, sir! Whole table is waiting!

    Before she can blow on his dice, he shakes and rolls, loses.

    SECURITY ESCORTS latches onto him. He holds dice.

    CROUPIER: Please sir, give the dice back to the next gentleman who wants to win our grand prize $400k. Everyone gasps.

    NANCY: That would buy a couple Teslas!

    Security taked JT fighting, out.

    NEXT GENTLEMAN: Please stay and blow on my … you know!

    She stays, he wins, embraces her passionately. JT sulks out, cursing her under his breath.

    Peeking thru the door, Elie and Elton see goings on. Protesting but failing, JT is whisked past them, held firmly by two guards..

  • Rebecca Jordan

    Member
    January 25, 2022 at 5:12 am

    Rebecca Jordan’s completed Act 3, Lesson 20

    What I learned from doing this assignment is that l need to recommit to speed writing. And stop worrying that I have too much material and how to structure it all. I suppose that’s a good problem.

    INT. PICK UP TRUCK – CONTINUOUS

    Rachel’s, 50’s, behind the wheel, laughs to herself.

    RACHEL

    “Ga-sha-gow-gow-gow”

    Sings.

    RACHEL

    “I can’t stop this feeling. Deep inside of me. Girl you just don’t realize what you do to me.”

    EXT. CONVENIENCE STORE – CONTINUOUS

    Rachel whips into a spot in front of the store.

    INT. TRUCK – MOMENTS LATER

    Rachel eats chips. Swigs from fresh pint of JD. Washes it back with water.

    Deep breath.

    Calls Paul on speaker.

    PAUL

    Dare I ask?

    RACHEL

    I know okay? go ahead. rip me a new one.

    PAUL

    Rachel…

    RACHEL

    PAUL

    Okay. Obviously you won’t make it tonight.

    RACHEL

    Obviously… I’m really sorry.

    PAUL

    …Are you okay, babe?

    Rachel winces, a little.

    RACHEL

    Yea. Well. Not really. But I will be.

    (beat)

    I Was on my way back, but I had to turn around. It’s a long story.

    PAUL

    Does this have to do with your mom?

    RACHEL

    Can you guys just please rehearse without me.

    PAUL

    Rach–

    RACHEL

    I’ll be ready. You know I will. I’ll need it badly after this… trip. // Trust me.

    PAUL

    Trust me. I know you’ll kill it. You always do. I’m worried you though.

    RACHEL

    Paul–

    PAUL

    I take it back. I’m here for you. I want to be there for you. I care about you.

    Sigh.

    PAUL

    I understand not today. Probably not tomorrow. Just want you to know I’m in your court. You now what I mean.

    RACHEL

    I do. I need —

    Rachel chokes back feeling.

    RACHEL

    …more time to get my head on right. Is all. Don’t wanted keep tarnishing everything shiny in my life.

    PAUL

    Awwww. Rach. That’s mushy.

    RACHEL

    I have to go, dudey. I’ll keep you posted.

    PAUL

    Check the calendar.

    RACHEL

    A week tops. Two.

    PAUL

    Bye. Text me. A lot.

    RACHEL

    Bye.

    INT. TRUCK – CONTINUOUS

    Rachel, numb. Sits. Pint of JD in hand.

    Throws back a mouth full. Rolls a joint for the ride.

    INSERT:

    EXT. SIDE OF THE ROAD, HIGHWAY – LATER

    Rachel swerves onto the side of the road.

    Gets out of the truck. Hits the joint. Stretches her legs. Takes in the land. Yoga poses toward the sunset.

    INT. TRUCK – CONTINUOUS

    Rachel curls up with jacket. Cat nap.

    INT. STEW’S BEDROOM – DAY

    Stew and Rachel are curled up on his bed in each other’s arms, naked.

    Suddenly, knocks at the back door. Then voices.

    Rachel and Stew freeze. Lock eyes.

    Carlee yells from down the hall.

    CARLEE

    Stew. Rachel’s mother is here looking for her. Do you know where she is?

    Rachel flies out of the room.

    INT. STELLA’S BDRM – CONTINUOUS

    She leaps into the walk in closet.

    CARLEE (O.S.) (CONT’D)

    Stew! Have you seen Rachel?

    INT. STEW’S BDRM – CONTINUOUS

    Stew peeks out the door.

    STEW

    No. I have not.

    INT. KITCHEN – CONTINUOUS

    Carlee and Beth with Undercover Cop, 40’s, handsome black man, stand at the back door.

    CARLEE

    She’s not here.

    Carlee checks out the detective.

    BETH

    I don’t know what kind of household you’re running here, with teenagers just coming and going as they please. But I don’t want my daughter // over here anymore.

    CARLEE

    Huh! Never gave a shit before.

    BETH

    Well, I do // now.

    CARLEE

    You’re the fucking bitch with a daughter who can’t stand being in the same room with you.

    BETH

    Don’t you dare use that kind of fowl language with me. That is unbelievably rude.

    CARLEE

    Oh yes, and you’re sooo prim and proper. Fucking phony.

    BETH

    Clearly you’ve been talking to my thirteen year old child.

    CARLEE

    Yes we talk. We have a nice relationship.

    BETH

    Good for you.

    CARLEE

    Good for her too.

    DETECTIVE

    Okay ladies. Lets wrap it up. Rachel isn’t here.

    CARLEE

    Some guy from Japan comes along, out of the blue, who doesn’t even speak English. And you decide to become a different person. And then you expect your kid to change from what you’ve already turned her into. Why do you think she’d rather be here?

    BETH

    I love my daughter, but I will not stand by and allow her to destroy my relationship with my husband.

    CARLEE

    Oh you’re so selfish Beth.

    BETH

    Who are you to judge? You’re a floozy. Look at you.

    CARLEE

    You’re no better than me Beth. At least I’m home.

    BETH

    Must be nice to have that choice as a single mom.

    CARLEE

    It is.

    BETH

    And I think it’s inappropriate that you allow Rachel to sleep over here with Stew. She’s too young to have a boyfriend in the first place.

    CARLEE

    Oh please. Grow up. She sleeps in Stella’s room. They’ve been best friends for years. And I can’t help it if Stew and Rachel like each other.

    BETH

    Well she’s not aloud over here anymore.

    CARLEE

    I can’t watch them every minute of the day. And your kid is not my responsibility.

    BETH

    She is if she’s here.

    CARLEE

    As if you’ve ever even given a shit.

    CARLEE

    She’s thirteen years old, Carlee.

    CARLEE

    Oh, why don’t you just fucking leave me alone. Please. Take your little entourage and go.

    BETH

    That is so inappropriate.

    Carlee pushes them toward the door.

    CARLEE

    And you’re perfect. I don’t need your insults

    BETH

    My husband doesn’t understand this kind of behavior. Children in Japan, where he was raised, are well behaved and obedient.

    CARLEE

    What are they animals?

    INT. WALK IN CLOSET – CONTINUOUS

    Rachel balled up in a corner of the world’s tiniest bedroom. With clothes hanging overhead. Her ear pressed up against the door.

    BETH

    They treat their parents with respect. Help out.

    CARLEE

    You’re delusional Beth.

    BETH

    No. That’s how it’s supposed to be.

    Mocking her.

    CARLEE

    That’s how it’s supposed to be. Well, you should have thought of that before you brought the guy into a fatal situation.

    BETH

    I will not have my child running around doing as she wants. Ruining everything for me. She will not destroy my marriage. If I have to make a choice, I will choose my husband.

    CARLEE

    Oh grow up Beth. She’s your daughter. She’s a thirteen year old child.

    Rachel covers her mouth. Sobs.

    INT. KITCHEN – CONTINUOUS

    BETH

    Oh please. Why don’t you grow up Carlee.

    CARLEE

    Okay bitch. Get out of my house.

    Please. You make me sick.

    OFFICER

    Ladies. Please. Put your claws back in. This is about finding a thirteen year old who is obviously troubled.

    BETH

    Fine. But if I find out that Rachel // is hanging out with Stew.

    CARLEE

    Please. Go. Don’t come back.

    MARLENE

    If I find out, Carlee, that you are allowing —

    CARLEE

    Believe me. I’ll tell her to run as far away from you as possible.

    OFFICER

    Okay ladies. // Let’s wrap it up.

    BETH

    Oh that’s nice. You are such a child.

    CARLEE

    Oh you’re such a child! Please Beth, just get the fuck out of my home.

    Carlee pushes them toward the door.

    OFFICER

    Okay ma’m. That’s enough.

    CARLEE

    This is my home. Unless you have a warrant, you got not right.

    BETH

    This is useless. Let’s go.

    Carlee closes the door behind them.

    CARLEE

    Fuck you!

    Carlee rushes down the hall.

    CARLEE

    Stew! Rachel has to go now.

    And please don’t argue with me. I can’t have this.

    STEW

    Okay.

    CARLEE

    I mean it. I do not need that bitch coming into my house with the cops insulting me.

    INT. WALK IN CLOSET – CONTINUOUS

    Rachel in the closet, cries quietly.

    CARLEE (O.S.)

    Rachel, honey. Come on. You have to go home now.

    INT. TRUCK, SIDE OF THE ROAD – EVENING

    Rachel, 50’s, wakes with a start. Tears stain her flushed cheeks.

    RACHEL

    Fuck this!

    She gets a bottled water from paper bag on the front seat. Guzzles.

    Finds the roach in the ashtray, fires it up.

    EXT. CRAPPY MOTEL – NIGHT

    Rachel sits in her truck parked outside the motel.

    RACHEL

    Why? Why!!?? Fucking piece of shit motel! Ahhhhh!

    Gathers some stuff from the front seat.

    INT. CRAPPY MOTEL, FRONT DESK – CONTINUOUS

    Rachel weighted down with duffel and various bags. Drags her ass down the gloomy hallway to her room.

    INT. CRAPPY MOTEL ROOM – NIGHT

    Rachel propped up on the bed has placed towels over the bedspread.

    She stares through the television.

    EXT. APT. COURT YARD BUILDING – DAY

    Rachel, 13, finds her way through the courtyard to a door in the corner.

    Rings the buzzer next to the sign that reads “MANAGER”.

    JERRY

    Come on in! Rachel enters.

    Door buzzes.

    INT. STAIRWAY – CONTINUOUS

    Dark and dingy stairway. Smells like a locker room.

    Rachel at the bottom of the stairs, knocks on the door.

    RACHEL

    Hello.

    JERRY

    Yeah. Hi. Come On in.

    Rachel pushes the door open.

    INT. DINGY OFFICE – CONTINUOUS

    The apartment rental manager, JERRY, 40’s, over weight, lacks hygiene, a real “dees” and “dose” kinda guy.

    Sits at a crappy metal desk with his feet up on it. Watches a tiny black and white television, drinks an Old Milwaukee.

    Squishes the can and lops it into the over flowing trash.

    Jerry sits up in his chair. Belly hangs out of his T-shirt.

    JERRY

    Come in! Come in! Don’t be shy.

    Rachel takes one step in.

    JERRY

    What can I do you for missy?

    RACHEL

    Hi. Remember me?

    JERRY

    Look familiar.

    RACHEL

    I was here about a week ago. Looked at the apartment upstairs. Said I’d be back.

    JERRY

    Yeah, I remember. What’s da name?

    RACHEL

    Rachel.

    JERRY

    I figured you didn’t want it.

    Rachel’s eyes wide open.

    RACHEL

    Is it gone?

    JERRY

    someone was looking at it.

    RACHEL

    Oh.

    JERRY

    You were supposed to bring a check by da udder day.

    RACHEL

    Yeah, I’m sorry.., I um.., I ended up having to work some double shifts. And then I had to go out of town for a couple of days… for work.

    He sizes her up.

    She sits up straight.

    RACHEL

    Is it available? Can I still get it if I give you some money today?

    Jerry rummages through some messy stacks of paper on his desk.

    JERRY

    Did you already fill out da paper work?

    Rachel fidgets with her purse.

    Sees the tumbling stacks of file folders with papers sticking out.

    RACHEL

    Yeah. I did.

    Jerry gives up.

    JERRY

    Okay. Well if you give me a deposit today da place is yours.

    RACHEL

    Yes. Thank you.

    Rachel digs through her bag..,

    Pulls out little wads of cash from various pockets. Stacks them into a pile, straightens the bills as she counts.

    Jerry’s attention is back to the television.

    INT. BAR – NIGHT

    Dive bar. It’s dead. BARTENDER, 60, does a crossword puzzle at the end of the bar.

    Rachel, 50’s, at the bar alone.

    RACHEL

    I’ll take another shot of Jack when you get a chance.

    BARTENDER

    Sure.

    Bartender, sighs, slowly get up from her chair, waddles over to pour the shot. Sets it in front of Rachel.

    BARTENDER

    Another beer too?

    RACHEL

    No thanks. What do I owe you?

    BARTENDER

    Four bucks.

    Rachel sets Five bucks on the bar. Throws back the shot.

    RACHEL

    Thanks.

    Heads over to the games.

    Puts change in a pin ball machine. Takes her anger out on the silver balls.

    Looks at phone. Sees text from Paul. “How’s it going? Call me later.” Back in pocket.

    INT. STEW’S CAR – DUSK

    Stew, 16, drives. Rachel, 13, in the passenger seat. They share a joint. Coasting down an alley behind brown stone apartment buildings.

    They approach a galley way between to buildings.

    RACHEL

    Just turn in here?

    STEW

    Where?

    RACHEL

    Right here.

    STEW

    Are you out of your fucking mind? It’s all grass.

    RACHEL

    It’s okay. Nobody can see you. // Just back in.

    STEW

    Not unless someone just happens to be near their window.

    Stew backs into the galley way. Careful not to mess up his rims.

    STEW

    This is not good.

    RACHEL

    My bedroom window is right back there. Stop. Right here is good.

    EXT. STEW’S CAR – CONTINUOUS

    Rachel and Stew are out of the car.

    STEW

    Which one is it?

    RACHEL

    Right there.

    STEW

    What are you gonna do? Climb up the side of the building?

    RACHEL

    You’re real funny. Duh. I’m going in. You wait here. I’ll throw my shit out the window.

    STEW

    Not on my car. I’ll move up.

    RACHEL

    Whatever. It’s just gonna be my clothes. I’ll carry down the rest.

    STEW

    Hurry up.

    RACHEL

    I’ll be fast. Believe you me.

    Rachel already running.

    STEW

    Are you packed at least?

    RACHEL

    Why would I be packed? Jeez. I’m just gonna throw it down.

    She disappears around the corner.

    Stew leans on his car. Lights up a smoke. Checks his watch. looks around.

    Finally, the window opens from above.

    Mick looks. A pile of clothes fly out the window. As if weightless, the clothes separate and float down.

    Mick’s face still turned upward in awe. A shirt lands on his face.

    The clothes come crashing down, landing in heap around him.

    STEW

    What the fuck?

    RACHEL

    Just shove it all in the trunk.

    He folds some clothes and puts them in a pile.

    Rachel has another pile of clothes.

    RACHEL

    No! Don’t fold it. Just shove it in the trunk. Jesus!

    INT. RACHEL’S BDRM – CONTINUOUS

    Rachel’s bag is almost full.

    On her way out, she sees a picture of herself with her Mom. Leaves it on the dresser. Stops. Exits.

    On second thought. Grabs the photo and shoves in her bag.

    EXT. STEW’S CAR — MOMENTS LATER

    Rachel runs toward the car with her bag.

    RACHEL

    Let’s book. It’s getting dark.

    She throws her stuff in the trunk. Slams it shut.

    INT. STEW’S CAR — CONTINUOUS

    Stew slowly pulls out and turns into the alley.

    A squad car right behind them turns on flashing lights.

    RACHEL

    Shit! Holy shit! Alright. Just be cool. Drive normal.

    STEW

    Aw! Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

    EXT. STEW’S CAR — CONTINUOUS

    The squad car pulls right up to the driver’s side of the car. Mick rolls down his window.

    Rachel has a her Cubs cap on.

    OFFICER

    Is everything okay here? Yes officer. I was just turning around.

    OFFICER

    That’s not a driveway young man.

    STEW

    Yeah. I know. I’m really sorry officer.

    OFFICER

    Alright. Well let’s move it along.

    STEW

    Thank you sir. Have a good

    INT. STEW’S CAR — CONTINUOUS

    STEW

    Holy fuckin’ shit.

    Rachel can hardly breath. Jaw on the floor.

    Stew’s heart racing. Hands shaking. Grips the wheel and slowly rides away.

    Silence.

    INT. RACHEL’S APARTMENT – NIGHT

    The apartment door is open. There are piles of Rachel’s stuff strewn about and posters bulging out of bags etc. The place partially painted. Empty cans of paint, drop clothes, rollers brushes stacked next to a ladder propped up in a corner. A guitar and albums lean up against a cheap stereo.

    Foot steps climb the stairs.

    Rachel and Stew enter carrying more bags.

    RACHEL

    You can put that stuff in the kitchen.

    Winded, Rachel drops everything into a pile on the floor.

    Stew drags his feet looks around. Sees the bong and tray of weed.

    STEW

    Here we go.

    He sits on the floor and fills the bowl.

    You want a soda or something? Are you hungry?

    STEW

    Nah.

    RACHEL (O.S.)

    I got some Jack.

    STEW

    I’m gonna book in a minute.

    Rachel enters with two sodas and a pint of Jack.

    RACHEL

    Oh… Okay. Here’s a soda for the road. You gotta be dying of thirst by now..

    STEW

    Yeah. Thanks. Maybe I better. I’ll need it after this.

    Stew takes a hit from the bong and holds it in as long as he can.

    RACHEL

    Thanks… For helping me. I know you think I’m nuts.

    Mick loads another bong for himself.

    STEW

    It’s cool.

    Rachel pulls posters out of a bag and tries to decide where to hang stuff.

    Stew lights the bong and holds his hit. Chokes.

    STEW

    Alrighty.

    (coughing)

    I’m out of here.

    RACHEL

    Don’t choke when you toke.

    Stew leans in for a quick kiss. Heads for the door.

    STEW

    Okay. Later.

    RACHEL

    Later.

    STEW

    You okay?

    RACHEL

    I guess. You can stay. If you want.

    STEW

    Nah. I gotta book.

    RACHEL

    Okay. Later.

    Rachel picks up a bag. Head down goes in the kitchen.

    RACHEL

    See ya. Thanks again.

    STEW

    Cool. Later.

    Stew’s out the door and down stairs.

    Rachel comes back in. Looks around. Sits on the floor in front of the bong. Alone.

    She pulls her bag close. Digs around until she finds the wrinkled picture of her and her Mom together. Mom is smiling lovingly at Rachel who is about 6 yrs old.

    INT. POST OFFICE – MORNING

    Rachel 50’s enters the Post Office. Takes in all the PO Boxes lining the walls. Where to start?

    Looks at her paper with the PO box number.

    Finds the corresponding box. She can see from the window that the box is packed to the gills with mail.

    Rachel approaches the POST MASTER, 60’s, quirky with a friendly twang. She’s behind the desk bending over some boxes.

    RACHEL

    Excuse me.

    POST MASTER

    Hi. A Good morning to ya!

    Amused.

    RACHEL

    And to you too. I’m looking for the woman who owns this… or belongs to… this PO Box number.

    Shows her the paper with address.

    RACHEL

    It’s the very full box over there.

    RACHEL

    Second row from the bottom.Do you happen to know her? Her name is // Beth.

    POST MASTER

    Beth. Yes I do.

    RACHEL

    You do?

    POST MASTER

    I do? Haven’t seen her in quite a long time.

    RACHEL

    She obviously hasn’t been here in quite a long time. She’s my Mom.

    POST MASTER

    I have literally tons of her mail stacking up. In the back room. Are you here to pick it up?

    RACHEL

    Oh well. I could…

    POST MASTER

    Well we can’t just give it to you before verifying some things first. Protocol.

    RACHEL

    Right.

    POST MASTER

    And. Sorry to say. Well I can’t say.

    RACHEL

    Oh.

    POST MASTER

    We haven’t seen Beth here in, gosh, only heaven knows. Oops, that didn’t come out quite right.

    RACHEL

    Okay. Can you tell me how far back the mail is dated?

    POST MASTER

    Oh golly. Hard to know for sure. Probably a year? Almost.

    RACHEL

    Holy moly.

    POST MASTER

    Holy moly is right. I really need to verify that you’re her daughter. It’s a process.

    RACHEL

    Of course.

    Stuck. What next.

    POST MASTER

    If you have her number, we can call her.

    RACHEL

    Well… hmmm.

    POST MASTER

    Or… but we haven’t seen her in a long time either.

    RACHEL

    Her?

    POST MASTER

    There is an older lady. Picks up… your Mom’s… mail ever so often. Her name… is… Oh what’s her name? Shoot. She drives a long ways to get here. That’s probably why it piles up.

    RACHEL

    Sure.

    POST MASTER

    Which could mean she be coming sometime soon. Unless… nothing.

    Blurts out proudly.

    POST MASTER

    Eleanor! That’s it.

    RACHEL

    Eleanor?

    POST MASTER

    Yes Eleanor. I’m sure of it. Nice older woman.

    Reflects.

    RACHEL

    Can’t be the same Eleanor I know from when I was a wee kid.

    POST MASTER

    She’s pretty old.

    RACHEL

    And i’m guessing you don’t have a way for me to reach here.

    POST MASTER

    Even if did —

    RACHEL

    Of course.

    Sighs.

    POST MASTER

    I’m guessing that unless she died… Not your mom…

    RACHEL

    Oh.

    WOMAN

    Sorry. Eleanor.

    RACHEL

    Right…

    WOMAN

    What I mean is…

    RACHEL

    I understand what you mean. It’s okay.

    POST MASTER

    She should be… Well… soon. I mean, you saw all the mail in her box.

    RACHEL

    Okay.

    POST MASTER

    I was just thinking out loud.

    RACHEL

    Okay.

    POST MASTER

    And we have a couple full boxes in the back too. So it’s been a long while.

    RACHEL

    Right.

    At a loss.

    Then.

    RACHEL

    How about I give you my number.

    WOMAN

    Sure. Yes. Yes. Let’s do that.

    RACHEL

    And if… Eleanor… comes in to pick up my mom’s mail. Would you mind giving her my number and asking her to call me. I’m Rachel.

    Woman hands her a pen and piece of paper.

    WOMAN

    Here ya go. I can most certainly do that. That’s kosher.

    Laughs at her own choice of words.

    WOMAN

    I’m not jewish. Just —

    RACHEL

    Don’t worry about it. Thanks.

    POST MASTER

    You’re welcome. Sorry I couldn’t be more helpful.

    RACHEL

    Nonsense. You’r a life saver. You take care now.

    POST MASTER

    You too, honey. Good luck.

    Rachel leaves.

    Almost immediately ELEANOR, 80’s, a short stocky, Jewish woman enters the Post Office.

    POST MASTER

    Oh my lord have mercy…

    Waves to Eleanor.

    POST MASTER

    Eleanor. Over here. I got you covered. How are you?

    Eleanor waves back. Shuffles over.

    EXT. STREET – CONTINUOUS

    Rachel, 50’s, meanders about. Peeks into shop windows. Checks out the southern charm of this little town.

    She disappears into a coffee shop.

    EXT. STREET – MOMENTS LATER

    Rachel backs out of the coffee shop. Arms full of goodies and a cup of coffee.

    Nearly knocks over an older woman pushing a cart full of boxes. It’s Eleanor.

    RACHEL

    Oh my gosh. I am so sorry. You okay?

    Shuffles by unscathed. Trudges along.

    ELEANOR

    Watch wear you’re going young lady.

    RACHEL

    Sorry. Can I help?

    ELEANOR

    No.

    Calling out, but mostly to herself.

    RACHEL

    I’m definitely not a young lady. But okay.

    Rachel passes back by the Post Office. Looks in the window.

    EXT. TRUCK – CONTINUOUS

    Rachel loads her goodies.

    INT. CRAPPY MOTEL ROOM – NIGHT

    Rachel, 50’s, in her underwear at the desk sitting with a towel over the chair. finishes another beer. Closes computer.

    She navigates getting under the sheets.

    RACHEL

    Ewwww!

    puts her sweat pants on and gets in the bed. Turns on the TV. Changes channels. Reception is terrible. Lands on a channel with static, white noise

    EXT. L STOP – DAY

    SOUND of train riding the tracks.

    Rachel, 13, emerges from the turnstile.

    Buys a pack of smokes at the corner news stand.

    Crosses the street.

    Suddenly two undercover police officers approach her.

    OFFICER #1

    Hey. Young lady. Excuse me, what’s your name?

    Rachel speeds away from them.

    Officer #2 shows his badge.

    OFFICER #2

    It’s okay. We’re police officers.

    Rachel, scopes her escape.

    OFFICER #1

    Maybe you could help us out. What’s your name?

    RACHEL

    Mary.

    Officer #1 shows her a photo from his pocket.

    OFFICER #1

    Are you sure?

    OFFICER #2

    Isn’t there someplace you should be?

    RACHEL

    Yeah. Work.

    OFFICER #1

    Why would you lie about your name?

    RACHEL

    Do you mind? You’re embarrassing me.

    Cop #2 takes hold of Rachel’s wrist. She winces.

    He drags her toward the squad car.

    RACHEL

    Come on man.

    OFFICER #2

    Not takin’ any chances.

    RACHEL

    Fuck you.

    Officer #2 gives Rachel a good yank.

    RACHEL

    Ow! You’re hurting me you asshole.

    OFFICER #2

    Then stop resisting.

    They arrive at an unmarked police car and shove Rachel into the back seat.

    INT. OFFICE, POLICE STATION — LATER

    A large sparse office, with fluorescent lighting.

    Rachel sits in a chair waiting. The two police officers pace back and forth smoking Rachel’s cigarettes.

    RACHEL

    Can I have one of my smokes? Please.

    OFFICER #1

    I don’t think you’re old enough to be smoking young lady.

    RACHEL

    Fuck you. Those are mine.

    OFFICER #2

    Excuse me?

    Stink eye.

    OFFICER #1

    I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that.

    The phone buzzes. Officer #2 picks up.

    OFFICER #2

    Yeah? Alright. I’ll come down.

    …No. Just ask her to wait a minute. I’ll be right there.

    He hangs up and leaves the office.

    OFFICER #1

    So why is it you can’t manage to keep your ass at home?

    RACHEL

    OFFICER #1

    Cause I see you here again, you won’t be going home to your nice cozy bed.

    RACHEL

    I have my own home. Thank you very much.

    OFFICER #1

    I don’t take pleasure in throwing children into lock up. But this shit’s been going on long enough.

    Gets up in her face.

    OFFICER #1

    You’re getting off easy this time. Next time it’s the lock up.

    Rachel checks him. Defiant.

    RACHEL

    Anyplace is better than going home with my mom.

    OFFICER #1

    Yeah? Well, that’s something you might want to think about real hard. Cause it aint no picnic if that’s what you’re thinkin’.

    Phone rings. He picks up.

    OFFICER #1

    Whitley. Yeah.., Bring her in.

    Beth, 31, enters with Officer #2.

    Her eyes meet Rachel’s defiant eyes with daggers and disapproval.

    EXT. CONVALESCENT HOME – EVENING

    Rachel, 50’s, lands into a parking spot.

    INT. TRUCK – CONTINUOUS

    Takes out the pint.

    Grunts.

    Puts it back.

    INT. CONVALESCENT HOME, RECEPTION – CONTINUOUS

    Rachel looks around assessing the facility. Waits. Paces. Checks her phone.

    Finally, RECEPTIONIST, 40’s, tired, returns. Hands Rachel some some papers.

    RECEPTIONIST

    Here you go. The room number is at the top of the page.

    RACHEL

    Thank you.

    Rachel checks the different hallways.

    RECEPTIONIST

    Her room is that way. But you’ll have to come back tomorrow during visiting hours. Everyone’s in bed. Last rounds have been made. Etcetera.

    RACHEL

    Oh. Bummer.

    Backs away from desk.

    RACHEL

    Thanks again.

    RECEPTIONIST

    You are welcome. Good night.

    RACHEL

    Good night. See you tomorrow then.

    Receptionist glances up. And back to work.

    INT. CONVALESCENT HOME – MOMENTS LATER

    Nobody at reception.

    Rachel 50’s with her guitar, sneaks down the hallway, ducking into the restroom to avoid being seen.

    INT. CONVALESCENT HOME, HALLWAY – CONTINUOUS

    Rachel pops out of the restroom. Looks both ways and continues on tip toes. Looks into rooms with open doors until she finds her Mom’s room number.

    Takes a deep breath.

    Disappears into the room.

    INT. MOM’S ROOM – CONTINUOUS

    Rachel let’s her breath out.

    SOUND of machines breath, suction, beeps in rhythm with one another.

    Rachel sees her Mom hooked up to machines.

    Paralyzed with shock. Hot tears pour down her face.

    Quiet guttural sobs. Tears flying from her face.

    Rachel at a loss. Sits in the chair. Stares at her Mom for a long time.

    Finally, Rachel forces herself to stop crying.

    Steps close to her Mom to get a good look at her.

    RACHEL

    (whispers)

    Mom? Hi Mom? You probably don’t want me here. That’s okay. You can stay sleeping.

    Waits.

    RACHEL

    I came to tell you that Uncle Ben is dead… He’ killed himself… shot himself in the head.

    Rachel takes her guitar out of its case and straps it over her shoulder.

    She puts her ear up to the door and listens.

    Then gets close to her mom.

    RACHEL

    How bout I sing for you. That ought to wake you up. Or at least make your nose wrinkle. You always hated when I sang. I always thought it was cause I was no good. I thought I’d never sing again. But I like to sing. I’m in a really good band.

    Tunes up guitar.

    RACHEL

    I wrote you a song. Well a lot of them are about you. I guess. But this is my favorite.

    Sighs.

    RACHEL

    I’m nervous and don’t even know if you can hear me. That’s crazy. … Okay. Here goes.

    Strums the wrong chord.

    RACHEL

    Jeez. Come on. You’re not that girl anymore.

    Rachel plays and sings softly to her Mom, accompanied by more tears.

    Eleanor enters.

    Rachel starts.

    RACHEL

    You scared me.

    ELEANOR

    Visiting hours are over.

    RACHEL

    I haven’t seen my mom in a really long time.

    ELEANOR

    She never mentioned having a daughter. And anyways, you can’t be making noise in here. It’s after bed time. // Everyone is asleep.

    RACHEL

    Wait. I recognize you.

    ELEANOR

    Yes, you’re the young lady who almost knocked me on my tush the other day.

    RACHEL

    Thank you for having them call me.

    ELEANOR

    Like i said, no mention of a daughter.

    RACHEL

    Do you know my mom? Your’e not the same eleanor I met when I was a kid?

    ELEANOR

    You need to go. You can come back during visiting hours if you want. It’s up to you. But she won’t even know you’re here. She’s been unconscious a long time.

    RACHEL

    Is she gonna wake up? Ever?

    Eleanor shrugs.

    ELEANOR

    Visiting hours are long over. Dear.

    RACHEL

    So your’e not the same Eleanor —

    Eleanor is gone.

  • Robert Wood

    Member
    January 25, 2022 at 9:18 pm

    Robert Wood’s Completed Act 3

    What I learned doing this assignment is that I’m going to have a huge amount of additions to make in the rewrite phase!

    EXT. FAMILY HOUSE – DAY

    A haunting grey winter day.

    Front door opens – Matt emerges, followed tentatively by Bert. Matt looks up at the sky.

    MATT

    You better be sure about this.

    Bert searches himself – he’s missing something.

    MATT

    What is it?

    BERT

    If I knew that I wouldn’t be standing here like an old fool patting my pockets!

    MATT

    What did you normally take with you out on the lake?

    Bert goes through a mental checklist. A lightbulb goes off! Turns back into the house.

    Matt stands on doorstep as a 1980-vintage car pulls over on the road in front of the house.

    Matt nearly recognizes the car and takes a step toward it as Young Bert and Young Matt (downcast, dragging a backpack) emerge from the house.

    YOUNG MATT

    But I want to go with you guys!

    YOUNG BERT

    You’ll have a fun sleepover with Sam at his house.

    The WOMAN driving the car waves to them. Young Bert waves back. The backseat window rolls down revealing SAM, 10.

    MATT

    (under his breath)

    Sam.

    SAM

    Come-on, Matt! Look, I’ve got the new Star Wars figures!

    Sam waves two Star Wars action figures out the window.

    YOUNG MATT

    (to Young Bert)

    Star Wars is stupid.

    YOUNG BERT

    I thought you liked Star Wars?

    YOUNG MATT

    Let me go with you.

    YOUNG BERT

    Sorry, not today, bud — Harris and I have a bunch of boring work to take care of. You can come again next time.

    Young Matt sulks.

    YOUNG BERT

    Okay?

    YOUNG MATT

    Okay.

    YOUNG BERT

    All right — now cheer up, and go and have a good time.

    Young Bert ruffles Young Matt’s hair.

    YOUNG BERT

    See you tomorrow.

    The boy goes to the car and gets in. Waves as the car drives off.

    Matt and Young Bert turn in near unison back to the house.

    Harris stands in the doorway.

    HARRIS

    Now I feel bad.

    YOUNG BERT

    Don’t worry — he’ll have fun. So will we!

    Bert steps forward in the doorway, triumphantly raising his hand…

    BERT

    Binoculars!

    Bert strides to Matt’s car with every ounce of enthusiasm Young Matt lacked.

    EXT. CONVENIENCE STORE – DAY

    Matt exits convenience store with a bag of supplies for the day…

    INT. CAR – DAY

    Bert waits in the car.

    Matt slips into the drivers seat and hands the bag to Bert, who rummages through it.

    BERT

    Trying to save money on the retirement home?

    MATT

    What are you talking about?

    BERT

    This stuff will kill me! Pringles and chocolate bars.

    MATT

    And sandwiches and water!

    BERT

    My salvation.

    MATT

    Live a little — this trip’s your idea, remember?

    BERT

    Hard to forget when you keep reminding me.

    EXT. BOAT RENTAL PLACE – DAY

    Matt and Bert walk down the dock with the BOAT RENTAL LADY.

    BOAT RENTAL LADY

    Not too many customers this time of year.

    BERT

    Off season’s my favorite time for fishing.

    BOAT RENTAL LADY

    You haven’t got any fishing gear.

    BERT

    More of a scouting expedition this time, really.

    MATT

    The old man misses being out on the water.

    BOAT RENTAL LADY

    Well, you’re the exception I’d say.

    MATT

    Yeah, we’re crazy that way.

    BOAT RENTAL LADY

    First rental this week. Don’t know why I’m not on a beach in Mexico right now.

    She stops in front of the rental boat and hands Matt the key.

    MATT

    Thanks.

    She turns and walks away.

    BOAT RENTAL LADY

    Don’t be late.

    Matt and Bert exchange glances — she’s a charmer — and step onto the boat.

    EXT. BOAT ON LAKE – DAY

    Calm, cool, grey day on the water.

    Matt and Bert bob around in the boat; Bert staring through binoculars.

    MATT

    No sign of it — not even a ripple.

    BERT

    Don’t give up — the day’s still young.

    MATT

    The phony cheerfulness isn’t fooling anyone, Bert.

    BERT

    I know it’s out here, somewhere…

    MATT

    Eventually you’re gonna have to accept that it’s futile.

    BERT

    (sudden anger)

    This is my last chance! After this, what?! Dribbling onto a fucking bib!

    (calmer)

    We just need to give it a little more time, that’s all… You think you can do that for me?

    MATT

    Yeah… Yeah, of course I can.

    Bert resumes scanning with binoculars.

    Young Bert and Harris are now with them on the boat; Young Bert’s eyes also glued to binoculars.

    HARRIS

    Work, work, work.

    YOUNG BERT

    Huh?

    HARRIS

    Ergomania. The obsessive need to work.

    YOUNG BERT

    It’s what we’re out here for.

    HARRIS

    I know, but I’m going to forget what you look like without those things glued to your face.

    YOUNG BERT

    I look the same as I did this morning.

    HARRIS

    Not the point — take a break, enjoy the view.

    YOUNG BERT

    Maybe you’re right…

    HARRIS

    Here — let me help you…

    Harris makes a quick grab for Bert’s binoculars. Bert reflexively pulls away. A quick fumble.

    The binoculars fly out of Bert’s hand, plunge into the dark water, and disappear.

    YOUNG BERT

    Fuck!

    HARRIS

    Oh my God!

    YOUNG BERT

    What did you do that for?!

    HARRIS

    I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to–

    YOUNG BERT

    I didn’t mean to — What good is that?

    HARRIS

    I’ll jump in — dive for them.

    YOUNG BERT

    Nah — it’s no use. They’re long gone. Sunk like a stone.

    Harris reaches for Young Bert’s shoulder…

    HARRIS

    I really am sorry.

    Young Bert pulls away.

    HARRIS

    I’ll buy you a new pair when we get back. Promise.

    Harris stands directly before Young Bert and puts hands on shoulders.

    HARRIS

    I can make it up to you, you know…

    Harris moves in for a kiss… but Young Bert pulls away again.

    HARRIS

    What’s the matter?

    Young Bert looks at him like, “Isn’t it obvious?”

    HARRIS

    They’re just binoculars.

    He reaches out for Young Bert again…

    YOUNG BERT

    Not now. All right? Let’s just focus on what we’re out here for…

    HARRIS

    Okay.

    Bert puts down his binoculars.

    BERT

    Where the hell is it, Matty?

    MATT

    Your guess…

    BERT

    It’s out here… the monster… I can feel it.

    MATT

    I know you can, Bert.

    BERT

    There’s one place everything returns to…

    YOUNG BERT

    That’s it! I know where she’s hiding.

    HARRIS

    Where’s that?

    YOUNG BERT

    Rattlesnake Island… Squally Point…

    BERT

    Home.

    EXT. BOAT ON LAKE – DAY (SHORT WHILE LATER)

    Matt and Bert power through the water, searching as they go…

    BERT

    That’s where legend says its den is — an underwater cave at Squally Point.

    MATT

    I remember, but it’s never been found there either.

    BERT

    No-one’s gone looking at the right time! The big searches were always in the summer. Wrong.

    MATT

    Good tourism?

    BERT

    Summertime it’s out and active. There’s three hundred and fifty square kilometers of lake and it could be having lunch anywhere!

    MATT

    I hate to break it to you, but the lake’s the same size in the winter.

    BERT

    Yes, but it’s colder! If it slows down in the colder waters it might just hibernate. And if it does…

    MATT

    It might just be at home.

    BERT

    Squally Point.

    MATT

    But if it’s hibernating and down in its cave den we still won’t find it. Unless you have an underwater drone I don’t know about?

    BERT

    Let’s just hope it comes up occasionally for air.

    MATT

    Right!

    Bert smiles as Matt gets into the game.

    BERT

    There’s the old Matty. You’re remembering the good times!

    MATT

    I never forgot.

    BERT

    The fun we used to have…

    MATT

    Yeah, but that was then.

    BERT

    And you’re the big man now.

    MATT

    It was childish. A waste of time.

    BERT

    Was it?

    MATT

    Gotta grow up sometime.

    BERT

    Why?

    MATT

    Oh, come on!

    BERT

    No, really. That sounds a lot like settling. Giving up on your dreams.

    MATT

    It’s called being an adult.

    BERT

    Maybe that’s the problem, huh? Maybe I never did that…

    EXT. BOAT ON LAKE – RATTLESNAKE ISLAND – DAY

    The boat approaches Rattlesnake Island.

    Matt starts steering a berth around the island, but Bert is drawn toward it…

    BERT

    The monster…

    MATT

    Yeah, we’re heading to Squally Point.

    BERT

    No. The monster… I can feel it.

    MATT

    What, here?

    Bert nods.

    MATT

    The island?

    Matt slows the boat.

    BERT

    It’s here, Matty. It’s here!

    Bert’s eyes tear up. He fights to not be overwhelmed by the wave of emotion.

    Matt brings the boat to a stop and goes to Bert.

    MATT

    Are you okay?

    BERT

    The monster… It’s here… It’s on the water.

    MATT

    It could be out there, Bert. It could be anywhere…

    BERT

    No… it’s here. It’s here, I tell you!

    Bert is nearly overwhelmed with emotion again.

    MATT

    What is this about?

    BERT

    The island. Bring us closer.

    Matt, with a concerned eye on Bert, revs up the engine and aims toward Rattlesnake Island.

    Bert appears halfway between horror/Hell and salvation. (Hell and damnation’s just salvation upside down.)

    The boat slows to a gentle coast as it nears the island, its prow barely disturbing the silver-sleek surface.

    BERT

    The monster… it’s here.

    MATT

    How do you know that? I haven’t seen anything…

    BERT

    I have.

    MATT

    Are we still looking for Ogopogo?

    BERT

    This is the place… The monster’s always been here…

    MATT

    What are you talking about? Maybe we should go back–

    BERT

    NO!! We’re not going back!

    Emotions flood Bert again as he looks toward the island.

    MATT

    What are you seeing?

    BERT

    The monster…

    MATT

    Was it that day?

    Bert almost acknowledges it was…

    MATT

    That day you sent me off for a sleepover?

    Young Bert and Harris are on the boat with them. Young Bert talks business…

    YOUNG BERT

    Literally hundreds of sightings since 1872. They can’t all be wrong, you know.

    HARRIS

    No, they can’t.

    YOUNG BERT

    It can’t all be God-damned thermal stratification waves!

    HARRIS

    You’re right.

    YOUNG BERT

    Damn right I am.

    Harris steps closer to Young Bert.

    HARRIS

    And you’re very hot when you’re right.

    He leans in for a kiss.

    YOUNG BERT

    Again with this?

    HARRIS

    Yeah, of course. What the heart wants…

    YOUNG BERT

    It doesn’t always get.

    HARRIS

    Why not? You were into me yesterday.

    YOUNG BERT

    Yeah, well… that was then.

    HARRIS

    And right now?

    YOUNG BERT

    I just don’t think I should be doing this. It’s wrong.

    HARRIS

    It’s not wrong.

    YOUNG BERT

    A mistake.

    HARRIS

    It’s not a mistake. I’m not a mistake… and neither are you. Not the real you — and you know you want me!

    YOUNG BERT

    I don’t know what I want! I don’t even know what I am!

    HARRIS

    Let me help you remember…

    Harris tries to kiss Young Bert again.

    Young Bert rebuffs him with a shove, but Harris persists.

    A brief struggle ensues and Harris’s Nessie pin is knocked off his lapel and falls to boat floor.

    The boat rocks under their weight. Harris loses his balance, slips and falls.

    His head hits the side of the boat as he falls overboard.

    Harris hits the water, unconscious.

    YOUNG BERT

    Oh my God, Harris! Harris!!

    Not breathing, Harris begins to sink down into the dark water…

    Young Bert dives in after him, submerging into the depths.

    He surfaces again, gasping for air, then plunges under the surface again. Dark water swirls in his wake.

    Over and over, he dives down and resurfaces, until he is so exhausted and breathless and frozen by the frigid winter water that he can barely stay afloat.

    Hardly able to grasp the rungs of the boat ladder, Young Burt struggles to pull himself up and back into the boat, where he collapses, cold and shivering.

    EXT. BOAT ON WATER – RATTLESNAKE ISLAND – DAY (LATER)

    Young Bert sits, huddled in a blanket, staring vacantly in shocked silence into the water. How long has he been sitting like this? An eternity.

    He notices a smear of red on the edge of the boat where Harris hit his head.

    He breaks into devastated sobs.

    Then, panic!

    He looks around for signs of other boats. There are none.

    He grabs a cloth and cleans the blood from the side of boat.

    A glance downward breaks his heart again…

    Harris’s Nessie pin lies on the floor of the boat.

    He picks it up and puts it in his pocket.

  • andrea cabanas

    Member
    January 26, 2022 at 6:00 am

    Andrea Cabañas Finish ACT 3

    What I learned with this is that I had to add an extra scene before my turning point, so my protagonist feels a bit more frustrated with her life and decisions, which will enhance her anger, therefore, making her change her next actions. I also made a few corrections and changed some dialogues.

    INT. KATRINA’S HOUSE – ZOE’S BEDROOM – DAY

    SERIES OF SHOTS

    Zoe tries to work, to concentrate.

    She sees an EMAIL from another potential client, grabs the number and calls them. She makes notes.

    She stares at her phone. Paces around the bedroom, drinks water.

    Zoe talks to more people over the phone.

    She stares at her phone again, sees PAULA’s number and calls. Paula doesn’t answer. Zoe tosses the mobile phone on her bed and leaves the bedroom.

    Her phone rings, it’s Juan. But she doesn’t come back.

    — ADDED SCENE —

    INT. RESTAURANT – NIGHT

    Zoe has dinner with Georgia and her new boyfriend, STEWART (60), dark skin, bright perfect smile, a charming man.

    They drink wine, laugh while waiting for their dessert.

    STEWART

    … And guess who was there, as soon as I get out of the elevator?

    ZOE

    Mick Jagger.

    Stewart burst in a laugh.

    STEWART

    No! The wasp!

    All three laugh.

    GEORGIA

    Mick Jagger, loved that, haha.

    STWEART

    No… The story with Mick was years ago.

    He chuckles.

    ZOE

    And what happened to the wasp?

    STEWART

    I killed it.

    ZOE

    Nooooo!

    Zoe leans back to the chair, have a sip of her wine.

    GEORGIA

    Now you’re in trouble. You couldn’t have said that. Not for her.

    STEWART

    Whoops. Sorry.

    ZOE

    Don’t worry. I knew you weren’t perfect.

    They laugh.

    ZOE

    It must be cool working in the music industry, playing with famous musicians. Have you stopped playing?

    STEWART

    Every now and then someone calls me to play, but it’s just for fun.

    He sips his wine.

    STEWART

    My wife died and I was left alone to take care of my son. It was hard to reconcile a musician’s life with a child on your own, you know.

    The WAITER (20) brings the DESSERTS.

    GEORGIA

    Oh, wow! If I knew the tiramisu was that big I’d have shared one with you.

    ZOE

    If you can’t eat it, I’ll do it.

    GEORGIA

    So, how’s your new project going? It’s Marlon’s coffee, right?

    ZOE

    Yep, it’s all good. Nothing big, just a simple renovation, easy and quick.

    GEORGIA

    Mmm… And did you let your previous client know that you won’t–

    Zoe tilts her head with a smirk.

    ZOE

    Not yet. But I will.

    Georgia rolls her eyes, looks away and stares at something.

    She sees James, who arrives accompanied by SILVIE (30), blondie, curly hair. They come embraced and seem intimate.

    GEORGIA

    Mhmmm… Don’t look now but–isn’t that guy James?

    Zoe looks over her shoulder. Stewart tilts his head to look at him.

    GEORGIA

    (whispers)

    Jesus, I said not now.

    Zoe freezes in disbelieve. She looks back to her plate, rests her forehead on her hand, elbow on the table.

    ZOE

    Can’t believe it.

    Stewart glances at James, then at Zoe.

    STEWART

    You okay?

    Zoe blows her lips.

    ZOE

    I wasn’t expecting it, but–

    GEORGIA

    Wasn’t expecting it? What do you think he does when he disappears?

    Stewart pretends not to listen, he eats his dessert.

    ZOE

    I know, but seeing it?

    Georgia holds Zoe’s hand.

    GEORGIA

    Look at me. This man is a prick, you know that. He doesn’t deserve even one more tear from you. Enough. Besides, you have other things to worry about, don’t you think?

    Georgia taps the tip of her nose. Zoe chuckles and looks at Stewart.

    ZOE

    Men. You really know how to mess up with our lives, hey!

    Stewart puts his hands up.

    STEWART

    Don’t look at me. I’m not doing anything here and I’m really happy with her.

    He places a kiss on Georgia’s cheek.

    MOMENT LATER

    They stand up and pay the bill when Georgia makes the move toward James, who looks surprised seeing Zoe.

    GEORGIA

    Oh, look who’s here! How are you, James?

    JAMES

    Hi, Georgia, Zoe… How are you?

    He glances at Zoe and smiles at both of them. He motions to stand up, but Georgia stops him.

    GEORGIA

    We’re fine. What about you?

    She glances at Silvie.

    GEORGIA

    And you are…?

    SILVIE

    Silvie. I’m his girlfriend.

    Georgia glances at Zoe, who scoffs softly and looks away.

    GEORGIA

    Girlfriend? Good on you, darling.

    She motions to Stewart.

    STEWART

    And this is Stewart, my boyfriend.

    They shake hands. James glances at Zoe, who’s already walking away.

    JAMES

    Are you leaving?

    GEORGIA

    Yep, we had a nice dinner. We love this restaurant, don’t we?

    Stewart smiles.

    GEORGIA

    Well, have a lovely dinner. Tara!

    They leave them behind.

    EXT. FRONT OF RESTAURANT – NIGHT

    Georgia and Stewart arrive, Zoe dries a tear with the back of her hand.

    STEWART

    I’ll call an Uber.

    Georgia nods and faces Zoe.

    GEORGIA

    Don’t do this.

    ZOE

    I know, but–I never thought I would feel this so hard.

    GEORGIA

    Look at me. It’s time for you to let him go. You have Paula–

    ZOE

    Paula! Right. Another one who betrayed me.

    GEORGIA

    Whatever. You are a gorgeous woman, strong, get laid with anyone you want…

    Zoe chuckles and looks away.

    ZOE

    But then I come back to my mom’s home and laid down on my own. This sucks.

    Georgia sighs.

    GEORGIA

    I know. But one step at a time, you know that. Forget about James, concentrate on your new project, tell Paula to get lost–

    Zoe’s phone RINGS, it’s Juan. She shows Georgia.

    GEORGIA

    … And get away from that narco.

    Zoe chuckles.

    ZOE

    Narco–I love you.

    GEORGIA

    Me too.

    They embrace. The Uber driver arrives and all three get into the car.

    A NEW PLAN

    INT. JUAN’S HOUSE – LOUNGE – DAY

    Zoe waits for Juan in the lounge. Adriano comes out of nowhere.

    ADRIANO

    Señorita.

    She jerks in fright.

    ADRIANO

    Apologies. I didn’t mean scarring you.

    ZOE

    (clears her throat)

    No, that’s okay.

    ADRIANO

    Mi patrón is ready to see you. Please, come.

    She smiles nervously; he leads her to the

    OFFICE

    Juan opens a bright smile seeing her.

    — CONTINUES —

  • Timothy McDevitt

    Member
    January 27, 2022 at 1:29 am

    TIM’S COMPLETED ACT 3 – DAY 20

    What I learned doing this assignment is to keep plugging away and writing crappy scenes that are barely more than outlines. My first draft is going to be about half the length I need, but I know my future rewrites will be fleshing out the scenes and adding dialogue.

    I’m just going to post the outline.

    22. MIDPOINT TP: Ellie selects Duke for adoption

    Mid-point turning point: Against her father’s wishes, Ellie picks Duke to adopt, because he

    looks miserable just like her.

    23. REACTION: Duke settles in at Emma’s house.

    Duke has no choice but to try to be good until he has a plan and opportunity to escape.

    Sunny comes with him, hitching a ride on the back of the car.

    Duke sees pictures of Emma before she lost her leg – skiing, playing soccer, etc. She looks

    happy.

    24. PLACEHOLDER: The Bad Dogs Crew discusses what to do about Duke

    Mort and Daz feel a bit sorry about getting Duke in trouble, but Rex sees the silver lining. He

    can use Duke for intel now that he’s inside the dog catcher’s house.

    25. Duke and Sunny need a new plan

    Sunny brings fortune cookies to Duke and reads more cookie wisdom.

    Duke explains he has to be good for a while. Sunny says good is his natural state, so don’t

    fight it.

    But Duke insists he’ll get out, live free, and help Sunny find her family.

    Sunny says not to worry about her. Just stay out of trouble and make a home for himself.

    26. Rex asks Duke to spy on his new owner

    At the fenced dog park, Rex talks to Duke through the fence and mocks him for not being

    free.

    He tells Duke to get information on the dog catcher – his routine, likes, dislikes, etc. Anything

    that they can use against him.

    Duke agrees, but he makes Rex promise to help him escape when the time is right. It’s a

    deal, but with the devil.

    27. PLACEHOLDER – Something with Emma’s dad showing his love for her

    Need a scene where Duke sees that Emma is the most important thing in her dad’s life.

    28. Duke plays with Emma

    Duke plays catch with Emma. At first he drops the ball on her lap, for her to throw again. Next he places it on the the ground, forcing her to get up and walk to it.

    She does, but she stumbles when she bends over and gets annoyed at Duke.

    Watching from the window, Emma’s dad smiles. Duke is motivating her to get better.

    29. PLACEHOLDER – The BBC continues to cause trouble in town.

    The Bad Boys continue to terrorize people, knock over trash cans, etc.

    Emma’s dad watches video of them from doorbell cams and traffic cameras. He desperately

    wants to find where their hiding place is.

    30. Emma defends Duke

    Duke helps Emma walk up and down the steps. She loses her balance as the bottom of the

    steps and as Duke tries to steady her, he bangs into a table, and knocks over a lamp,

    breaking it.

    This is like something that happens in Act 1 that Duke was blamed for, so he’s nervous.

    Emma’s dad comes in to investigate the noise and sees Duke and right away thinks he did

    it.

    Emma speaks up quickly, saying it wasn’t him – SHE knocked over the lamp.

    Duke is surprised and touched.

    31. DILEMMA: Does Duke risk all to help Sunny?

    Sunny is lonely, tired, and is now being threatened by the BBC.

    Duke is running out of time to reunite her with her family.

    But he risks losing all if he’s caught breaking rules.

    He catches a scent of the flowers she described as her home. He now knows he has to act.

    32. LOW OF LOWS: Duke accidentally hurts Emma – strike 3

    While defending Sunny from the BBC, Duke accidentally knocks over Emma.

    Her dad sees it all and has given up on Duke – he must go back to the pound and be

    exterminated.

    Duke escapes but he has nowhere to go – hunted by Emma’s dad and the BBC.

  • Dana Abbott

    Member
    February 28, 2022 at 10:16 pm

    ScreenwritingU

    30 Day Script – Day 20 Assignment: Finish Act 3

    Dana’s Completed Act 3

    What have I learned from this assignment?

    I wrote my outlines at one time, so there were no other outlines to complete for this assignment. I learned, however, to write the Reaction Scene and my Turning Point first to keep my Middle Scenes in sync with the storyline and plotting.

    SCRIPT – ACT 3

    INT. RUSSIAN SOCIAL CLUB – NIGHT

    It’s a dark, long, private club. Very few people, shadows of people, mostly men.

    OKSANA VOLKOV, 50’s, elegant, long raven-black hair, black attire, formidable. She sits at a private roundtable in the very back steeping her Russian tea.

    A RUSSIAN BODYGUARD slides up and quietly whispers in her ear. She listens, approves and nods. The bodyguard signals another.

    Frank and Jack are ushered into view by another bodyguard. Frank stands in front. He seems to know what’s happening. Jack is wary and uncertain.

    Oksana smiles a subtle, patient smile.

    OKSANA

    Frank Valentino. We meet in the flesh — after all these years. And this must be the notorious Jack Donovan. I’ve heard about you.

    (beat)

    Please. Sit.

    Jack and Frank take opposite sides, placing Oksana in the middle of the conversation to come.

    OKSANA (CONT’D)

    Would you care for some tea? It’s Russian. So be warned.

    FRANK

    I could use some coffee.

    OKSANA

    (smiling)

    Of course.

    (to a bodyguard)

    Bring two espressos for our guests. They look in need of a jolt.

    Oksana waves off he other bodyguard for privacy. She stirs her tea pensively.

    OKSANA (CONT’D)

    Okay, gentlemen. What brings you here to see me on this fine day?

    FRANK

    You know I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t have to be.

    OKSANA

    Nobody ever wants to be here, Frank. You, of all people, know that.

    Oksana sips her tea. She and Frank are sharing a moment. Jack watches their interaction, somewhat lost.

    FRANK

    We need your help.

    OKSANA

    I’m sure you do. Torturing and killing that poor technician and his wife. You’re wanted men now.

    JACK

    We didn’t kill anybody.

    OKSANA

    That was your defense at your last trial. How did it work out for you?

    A man brings Jack and Frank their coffees and quickly leaves.

    FRANK

    We need a place to lay low. Figure things out.

    OKSANA

    I never refuse an accommodation. But nothing is free. My help comes with a price. And you know what I want.

    JACK

    What in the hell are you doing? Asking her for help? Are you out of your fucking mind? Do you want us to be obligated? Do you know who she is?

    Oksana remains patient, smiling and sipping her tea. She looks to Frank.

    OKSANA

    He doesn’t know, does he?

    Frank says nothing.

    OKSANA (CONT’D)

    Frank did favors for us while he was in prison. A witness here. An informant there.

    Jack looks across the table at his partner, staggered. Frank just stars back, no emotion.

    OKSANA (CONT’D)

    Don’t judge your partner too harshly, Mr. Donovan. Prison has a way of bringing out a man’s more animal nature — as I’m sure you know. And serving our interests kept him alive…

    (beat)

    And you.

    Jack shoots a stare at Oksana.

    OKSANA (CONT’D)

    Do you really think you survived prison by hiding in your little cell? Frank traded lives, his and yours, for men of less importance.

    JACK

    I didn’t ask him to do that.

    OKSANA

    Nonetheless, you’re here now due to your partner’s altruism. You should thank him. Without our protection, you would have been dead within six months of going inside. Governor Newbaum’s friends have a very long reach.

    JACK

    The governor?

    OKSANA

    You didn’t know?

    Oksana studies the numb faces at her table. She feigns anger at herself.

    OKSANA (CONT’D)

    When will I ever learn to keep my mouth shut? It’s one of my biggest faults. Second to vengeance.

    (she sips her tea)

    Prosecuting you put the governor into office, but he needed to guarantee your conviction. That’s why he prosecuted you himself.

    JACK

    How do you know this?

    OKSANA

    Some rumors ring more true than others.

    FRANK

    Do you have your hooks in him?

    OKSANA

    No. And we don’t pilfer. But from time to time, we paid his friends for his services.

    (she sips her tea)

    Cultivating a politician takes time and money. Like a great artist or a writer. But even the most obedient pets run from their masters. It’s important to remind them who they serve.

    JACK

    And we’re the reminder.

    OKSANA

    His friends were concerned that he would forget them on his political ascension to Washington.

    FRANK

    And that’s why they got us out of prison?

    OKSANA

    Your pawns in a three dimensional game of chess with many players.

    Jack and Frank look across the table at each other, finally recognizing the real power they’re up against.

    OKSANA (CONT’D)

    You’ve been so focused on the who of things, you would have been better served to focus on the why.

    FRANK

    You just told us why.

    OKSANA

    Not the why of you.

    JACK

    You mean Marcus Jones.

    Oksana tips her cup of tea to Jack.

    FRANK

    Why don’t you tell us?

    CLOSE SHOT – OKSANA

    She smiles wrily, her cup to her lips.

    OKSANA

    What would be the fun of that?

    She winks, smiles and sips her tea.

    CUT TO:

    INT. OFFICE – GOVERNOR’S HOME – NIGHT

    Newbaum, angry and frustrated, paces back and forth. Douglas Hill stands near the door, listening.

    Margery is more poised, allowing her husband to vent.

    NEWBAUM

    I don’t believe this. I DON’T BELIEVE THIS!

    (to Hill)

    How could you let this happen? You were supposed to muscle these guys out of state. And now they’re out there taking revenge on everybody who put them away!

    HILL

    They can’t get to you, governor, if that’s what you’re concerned about.

    NEWBAUM

    What makes you so sure? Because you’ve done such a bang-up job so far? And don’t think for one minute you’re not in their crosshairs.

    MARGERY

    Relax. Douglas is right. You’re not in any physical danger. But we have to repair the damage and protect your legacy.

    NEWBAUM

    My legacy? And exactly what is my legacy, Margery? My prison reform program just let out to maniacs!

    Newbaum stops, thinking, dejected.

    NEWBAUM (CONT’D)

    I’ll have to withdraw from VP consideration.

    Margery doesn’t like that news.

    MARGERY

    Douglas? Will you excuse us?

    HILL

    Of course.

    Hill closes the door softly behind him.

    Newbaum looks at his wife, mystified.

    NEWBAUM

    What?

    MARGERY

    You’re not withdrawing from anything. Do you understand? We’ve come too far. We’ve been preparing for this opportunity since law school. And now that we’re a breath away from the vice presidency, you want to hide like a nervous virgin on her wedding night? It’s time for you to strap on your jock step into the game.

    NEWBAUM

    What do you suggest I do, Margery? The press is killing me on this.

    MARGERY

    You do what all good politicians do. You pivot. You’ll hold a press conference tomorrow and talk about the rule of law. You’ll praise the merits of your program but put the blame on the parole board for not consulting you before they released these two men. You will call them by name and assure the public they will be found and punished. I’ll make sure you receive the right questions from the right reporters. And you’ll show the public you’re not afraid — and spin this moment into victory.

    NEWBAUM

    Maybe they should offer you the vice presidency.

    MARGERY

    Don’t think I wouldn’t accept it. My ambitions exceed far beyond your ego. Or do you honestly think I’ve stayed with you all these years just play the admiring wife and revel in your achievements? I’ve tolerated your whores and your affairs, the stupid little girls that bring you coffee. Who do think hired your chief of staff? It was safer for you to be involved with one whore than aiming that thing of yours at every bitch in heat.

    Newbaum is dumbfounded, gazing at his wife, embarrassed.

    MARGERY (CONT’D)

    I’ve cleaned up after your messes for years to protect our political future. And tomorrow, when you step before the public, you’re going to prove to me that you were worth it.

    NEWBAUM

    What have you done?

    MARGERY

    What you never had the balls to do.

    Margery heads for the doors.

    MARGERY (CONT’D)

    Get some sleep. I don’t want you looking ragged tomorrow.

    Margery leaves Newbaum standing in the middle of the room, totally alone.

    CUT TO:

    EXT. SWIMMING POOL – UNDERWATER – NIGHT

    Jorgensen’s body slides into the water buck naked, drugged. He floats for a moment.

    EXT. SWIMMING POOL – JORGENSEN’S HOUSE – CONTINUOUS

    Simon stands at the edge of the pool making sure Jorgensen doesn’t recover and swim out. His phone BUZZES.

    SIMON

    Hello? — I’m taking care of that now.

    (he listens)

    Yes, I heard. I assumed your Mr. Hill was up to his usual stellar performance.

    (he listens)

    That surprises me. I knew Valentino had the sand, but not Donovan. He’s still clinging to his last remnants of humanity.

    INT. A ROOM IN THE GOVERNOR’S HOME – CONTINUOUS

    Margery is on her cell phone.

    MARGERY

    I need that hard drive. And if not them, then who? If there’s another player, we need to know.

    INTERCUT CONVERSATION

    SIMON

    That’s not our arrangement.

    MARGERY

    It’s in your best interest as well as mine. I’m not the one who went into that little shit’s cell that night. I’ll make it worth your while. But I need this resolved in forty-eight hours.

    SIMON

    I’ll see what I can do. But try to keep Mr. Hill on a lease. He tries to impress the governor too much.

    Margery hangs up. Woorried.

    EXT. SWIMMING POOL – JORGENSEN’S HOUSE – CONTINUOUS

    Simon puts his phone away. He watches Jorgensen for a moment. Satisfied the man’s dead, he heads out.

    Jorgensen floats in the pool.

    CUT TO:

    INT. A LOUNGE – NIGHT

    The room has a decided Russian flair to the furnishings.

    Frank pours two whiskeys from a snifter.

    He hands a glass to Jack sitting in a chair. Jack takes it, reluctantly. His mind is elsewhere.

    JACK

    What did you do for these people?

    FRANK

    It’s blood under the bridge.

    JACK

    Not any more. You’ve compromised me. Whatever you owe them, I now owe them.

    FRANK

    Whatever I’ve done is on me, not you. Oksana knows that.

    Jack can’t sit still, and frustrated, shoots from his chair.

    JACK

    Oksana Volkov doesn’t forgive debt. I know what she did to her uncle.

    Frank ignores his friend and slides in chair.

    JACK (CONT’D)

    (staring into his drink)

    You’ve cursed us both. I’ll never get back to my daughter.

    FRANK

    Take a drink.

    Jack signs heavy, then swallows his whiskey in a gulp.

    FRANK (CONT’D)

    The rumors about her uncle are false.

    (long beat)

    It was her father.

    JACK

    Oh, that’s much better. How you know you can even trust her? She could be selling us out right now.

    FRANK

    Oksana may be a gangster, but she’s also Russian. They never backstab a deal. It’s bad for business. That makes this place the safest hole in town. And right now, we have every cop and state agency looking for us. We need to lay low and figure this shit out. So before you curse us to eternal damnation, pour yourself a drink and chill.

    Jack pours himself another whiskey.

    JACK

    Why would Newbaum want Marcus Jones killed?

    FRANK

    A twenty-year-old black activist? He was a threat of some kind. And remember, Newbaum was the AG back then.

    JACK

    Riding our ass to the governor’s mansion.

    (thinking)

    We need to find someone who knew this kid.

    FRANK

    Who? The family won’t talk to us, even if you could find them.

    JACK

    Then maybe we should to talk to Marcus himself.

    A KNOCK on the door.

    Oksana enters without being invited in.

    OKSANA

    Good evening, gentlemen. I hope you find these accommodations to your satisfaction.

    JACK

    They’re fine. Thank you.

    OKSANA

    I’ll station one of my men outside at the door. If you need anything during the night, just ask him.

    (looking to Frank)

    I heading to bed.

    Jack’s not sure why she’s telling them this. Frank hesitates, gulp his drink, and with a sheepish look to Jack, stands and joins Oksana.

    JACK

    You’re full of surprises, aren’t you?

    OKSANA

    Would you care for companionship?

    JACK

    No, thank you.

    OKSANA

    I’m sure your partner will tell you about it in the morning — but not too early. Good night, Mr. Donovan.

    Oksana leaves. Frank shrugs at Jack and follows her out.

    Jack, alone, shakes his head and finishes his drink.

    CUT TO:

    INT. PRESS BRIEFING ROOM – DAY

    CLOSE SHOT – NEWBAUM

    NEWBAUM

    Events over the past twenty-four hours shock the conscience.

    Newbaum stands at a podium. Margery and Calvin Brown stand on opposite sides like bookends behind him, framed by American flags. The press — unseen – tosses questions at him.

    NEWBAUM (CONT’D)

    The murders of Donald Armstrong and his wife, Barbara, were both brutal and cold-blooded. My office is now coordinating with local, state and federal agencies in the manhunt for Jack Donovan and Frank Valentino, both believed armed and dangerous. Civilized society cannot and will not tolerate lawless and barbaric behavior. We will bring these men to justice for the heinous murders they have committed.

    The press ERUPT in a BARRAGE OF QUESTIONS.

    NEWBAUM (CONT’D)

    Yes?

    REPORTER 1 (O.S.)

    Given these murders were committed by men released under your early release program, do you think the program is in jeopardy?

    NEWBAUM

    The program has demonstrated a low recidivism rate based on the number of prisoners qualified for release. These murders are an anomaly. It’s unfortunate the parole board didn’t consult with me before releasing these men. I would have advised against it. And while adjustments may be necessary, I still believe prison reform is a humane endeavor.

    (pointing)

    Yes?

    REPORTER 2

    Have the police determined a motive for these killings?

    NEWBAUM

    I don’t believe I should comment on the details of the investigation.

    (pointing)

    Yes?

    REPORTER 3

    Marty Jorgensen, the parole officer for both Donovan and Valentino, was found drowned in his swimming pool. And Charles Lunger, the guard who testified at trial against both men, was killed in an explosion at his home. Do the police suspect these deaths may be related?

    NEWBAUM

    Not to my knowledge. Mr. Lunger’s death has been ruled an accident. And Mr. Jorgensen was apparently intoxicated. Their deaths are a coincidence, not a conspiracy.

    (pointing)

    Yes?

    REPORTER 4

    Do you believe releasing Donovan and Valentino will now impact your chances to become VP on the ticket?

    NEWBAUM

    I’m not concerned with politics at this time. I’m focused on bringing these men to justice.

    REPORTER 5

    I notice Calvin Brown with you at the podium? Is there a reason for his involvement today?

    NEWBAUM

    Mr. Brown is here on an advisory capacity and is representing the Jones family during this crisis. Thank you very much.

    Newbaum waves and leaves the podium, followed by Margery and Brown. A BARRAGE OF QUESTIONS follow after him.

    CUT TO:

    EXT. CEMETERY – DAY

    A family plot with a large headstone reading Jones Family. A bouquet of wilted flower in a vase. Three gravestones read:

    Roberta Robbins Marcus Jones Henry Jones

    1969 to 1997 1990 to 2010 1940 – 2015

    The plot is for four. An empty plot sits nest to Henry Jones.

    MAN’S VOICE (O.S.)

    This is it. The Jones family plot.

    The CEMETERY MANAGER stands next to Jack and Frank. The three of them stare down at the gravestones.

    MANAGER

    We buried the father a few years ago. Nice family. Not a lot of mourners, though. His wife and a few friends.

    JACK

    You remember his burial?

    MANAGER

    After what those cops did to his son, it’s hard to forget. I hope they rot in hell.

    Jack and Frank glance at one another.

    FRANK

    How’d he die?

    MANAGER

    Heart attack, I think.

    JACK

    Who’s the lady on the end?

    The manager flips through papers on his clipboard.

    MANAGER

    Roberta Robbins. It says here she was a niece. Why did you guys say you’re interested?

    JACK

    Routine. The insurance company is crossing T’s, dotting I’s. Do you have an address for the family?

    MANAGER

    Maybe back at the office. I don’t know how current it is.

    FRANK

    Those roses look fresh. Is somebody maintaining the plot?

    MANAGER

    A flower company arrives every two weeks. The driver swaps out the old with the new. Been doing it since the boy died.

    FRANK

    You know the name?

    MANAGER

    (trying to remember)

    Mae Flowers — I think. With an E. Anyway, I should probably get back. Stop into the office on your way out. I’ll give you what we have.

    The manager heads back to the office.

    FRANK

    You see what I see? Daddy was a fucking senior citizen. He was fifty when the kid was born.

    JACK

    I remember the parents in court. It always struck me odd how old they looked. More like grandparents.

    FRANK

    What are we looking at here? Daddy and his baby momma?

    JACK

    Would you let your husband bury his baby momma in the family plot?

    FRANK

    Then what?

    JACK

    Not sure. But I know who we can ask. Do you remember the name of Mrs. Jones?

    FRANK

    (remembering)

    Mae — with an E.

    CUT TO:

    INT. GOVERNOR’S OFFICE – CONTINUOUS

    Newbaum storms in followed by Margery and Brown.

    NEWBAUM

    (sarcastic)

    Well, that went well.

    MARGERY

    You stopped the bleeding.

    NEWBAUM

    Are you kidding? They’re asking about Jorgensen and that dumb-ass guard. It they put those bodies on Donovan and Valentino, you can kiss the VP goodbye.

    BROWN

    You were forceful and direct in your response. Those questions won’t go anywhere.

    NEWBAUM

    You’d better hope they don’t. I’m not the only one here with my ass hanging out.

    BROWN

    My hands get singed, not burned.

    NEWBAUM

    Donovan and Valentino are working their way up the food chain. And they won’t stop at your hands.

    A KNOCK on the door, and Douglas Hill enters.

    NEWBAUM (CONT’D)

    Where have you been?

    Hill stops, stunned by the attack.

    MARGERY

    Douglas is head of your security team. He’s your liaison with law enforcement.

    Newbaum waves a hand.

    NEWBAUM

    Fine. What have you learned?

    HILL

    Donovan and Valentino have gone underground. Word is they’re with the Russians now.

    NEWBAUM

    Oh, shit — Shit!

    HILL

    Valentino did favors for Oksana Volkov while he was inside.

    MARGERY

    What sort of favors?

    HILL

    Bodies.

    NEWBAUM

    Shit.

    MARGERY

    (to Brown)

    Do we have any inroads there?

    BROWN

    I have clients who have friends in that world. I can make a few calls.

    HILL

    Oksana Volkov has a reputation for being loyal. And rumor has it — she and Valentino share a bed. She won’t give him up.

    NEWBAUM

    Fucking great! What am I suppose to do, sit here and wait for them to knock on the front door?

    HILL

    There may be a way to flush them out.

    CLOSE SHOT – HILL

    HILL (CONT’D)

    But it’s ugly.

    CUT TO:

    EXT. MAE’S FLOWER SHOP – DAY

    It’s a small, corner shop in the downtown. Lots of traffic and walk in customers.

    INT. MAE’S FLOWER SHOP – CONTINUOUS

    JILL, 30’s, a young girl wearing a florist apron stands at the counter completing an order for an older woman.

    JILL

    Okay, Mrs. Green. Your order is in the system. And we’ll have those daisies sent to your granddaughter the first of next week.

    MRS. GREEN

    She just moved into her college dorm. And daisies are her favorite.

    JILL

    I’m sure she’ll appreciate them.

    MRS. GREEN

    Thank you for your help. Goodbye, now.

    JILL

    Goodbye.

    Mrs. Green heads for the front door. We hear the BELL RING when she opens the door.

    WOMAN’S VOICE (O.S.)

    Jill?

    Jill looks to –

    MAE FLOWERS, late 60’s, African American, grey hair, stands in the open door to the back office.

    MAE

    Why don’t you take your lunch now while it’s slow.

    JILL

    Are you sure?

    MAE

    Yes. It’s fine. Lock up when you leave and remember to put out the return sign.

    JILL

    Okay, Mrs. Jones.

    Jill takes off her apron and gets ready to leave.

    Mae closes the office door.

    INT. OFFICE – FLOWER SHOP – CONTINUOUS

    Mae closes the door and locks it. Jack stands behind the door. Mae is nervous, but in control. She looks to Jack. He motions her to a chair.

    Frank stands next to chair. Mae sits down, carefully. The BELL RINGS — Jill has left the store. They’re alone.

    MAE

    Are you going to kill me?

    JACK

    No, Mrs. Jones. We’re not here to harm you.

    MAE

    I don’t have much money. My husband spent most of the settlement before he died.

    FRANK

    Twenty million dollars?

    MAE

    He acted like he’d won the lottery. Cars. Boats. Trips. Gambling. Other women. To him it was found money.

    (beat)

    And after the lawyer took his cut, all the other snakes descended on us. I was luck to have enough to buy this shop.

    Jack sits down next to her.

    JACK

    I — we — always wanted to tell you how sorry we were about your son. But you have to know, Mrs. Jones, Frank and I didn’t kill Marcus.

    Mae looks at both of them, not believing them.

    JACK (CONT’D)

    Marcus suffered from an disease that wouldn’t allow his blood to clot. He bled faster than anyone thought. The FBI report proved it. He was killed by someone at the station after he was put in the holding cell, but not by us.

    Mae looks at them again, sheepish, almost guilty.

    MAE

    I know.

    FRANK

    Wait. What? What do you mean, you know?

    MAE

    Mr. Brown told my husband and me about the report before the civil trial started. He told us that it wasn’t our responsibility to fix the district attorney’s mistake. And if we did, we wouldn’t find justice for Marcus. He said if we went public about Marcus’ condition, no-one would be held accountable for his death.

    FRANK

    You mean you wouldn’t get paid.

    Mae says nothing.

    JACK

    That’s not the reason you went along with it, though, was it?

    MAE

    My husband wasn’t an easy man to live with. And we were desperate for the money. He thought it would solve all of our problems. It just created more.

    (almost pleading)

    I am sorry for what happened to you. I truly am. I never wanted any of this to happen, but I didn’t know the right thing to do.

    JACK

    It’s not your fault, Mrs. Jones. But we need to know the truth now.

    (beat)

    Was Marcus your son?

    MAE

    No. He was my niece’s boy, Roberta.

    FRANK

    Why the lie?

    MAE

    Roberta was a prostitute. Her mother — my sister– was a drug addict. Heroine. And she let the street raise her daughter. And one day, Roberta got pregnant by a boy. A college student. A john. When she decided to not get an abortion, I thought her having a baby would get Roberta off the street, that she’d be a good mom. But after Marcus was born, she tried to blackmail the boy who got her pregnant. His family was rich, and she thought he’d pay to keep his black son a secret.

    JACK

    What happened to her?

    MAE

    A month after she blackmailed the boy, she was killed in a hit and run. The police never found the car. Not that they tried, given Roberta was a prostitute.

    FRANK

    Who was the father?

    MAE

    Roberta never told me. I guess she thought she was protecting us. But after she was killed, we decided to raise Marcus as our own to protect him. But my husband never wanted to have children. And as Marcus grew up, he and Henry fought — a lot. They did battle. And then one day, Henry to Marcus the truth, where he came from. That he was the son of a prostitute.

    JACK

    He went to find his real father, didn’t he?

    MAE

    He became obsessed with knowing. He even attended the same school his father attend just to find him.

    FRANK

    Did he?

    MAE

    He never told me.

    JACK

    But you know who he is, don’t you?

    Mae nods.

    MAE

    Governor Newbaum is Marcus’ real father.

    The realization hits both men hard. Frank turns away, his hands combing through his hair in frustration.

    FRANK

    Oh, Jesus!

    JACK

    How did you find out?

    MAE

    Marcus joined every activist group on campus. He protested everything. Racism, war, police. He was angry at the world. He hated everything and everybody. But he was obsessed with one person.

    JACK

    Newbaum.

    MAE

    Marcus new his father wanted to be governor and attended every rally where he spoke. He became a thorn in the attorney general’s backside. He spoke against him, challenged him to debates. Anything to get his father’s attention.

    JACK

    And when Newbaum’s security team did a background check, Newbaum discovered Marcus was his son from his mother’s name on his birth certificate.

    Mae nods.

    FRANK

    Why didn’t you bring this out back then?

    MAE

    Mr. Brown said it would muddy the waters. That the motive needed to be about race to get real justice.

    JACK

    It wasn’t justice. Brown used what he knew to blackmail his way into power. Anybody who needed a favor from the governor would have to go through him. And that’s why Newbaum pressed the city to settle your civil suit before our trial, to cover up his motive and make our trail about race.

    FRANK

    The man murdered his own son and prosecuted us to give himself the governor’s office.

    MAE

    So what happens now?

    Frank and Jack glance at one another.

    JACK

    You may have to hide for awhile. The governor is cleaning up his mess, eliminating witnesses.

    FRANK

    And framing us — again.

    Frank’s phone RINGS and he steps aside to answer it.

    MAE

    I can’t leave. I have my business, my home, my life.

    JACK

    It’s won’t be forever. Just a few weeks.

    Frank stands across the room, speaking to Oksana on the phone.

    OKSANA (O.S.)

    (On phone)

    I’m sorry, Frank. I would never be the one to deliver this message if I didn’t have to. But they called me to get to you.

    FRANK

    What is it?

    OKSANA (O.S.)

    (on phone)

    You need to have your partner call his wife.

    (beat)

    His daughter has been taken.

    CUT TO:

    INT. LIVING ROOM – DAY

    Janice answers the door and Jack storms inside followed by Frank. Janice is frantic. She’s been crying, her eyes red.

    JACK

    Where is she?

    JANICE

    Gone! You bastard. I knew this had to be you. My daughter’s been taken because of you!

    Janice slaps Jack across the face. Jack accepts it, and Janice backs away, face in her hands.

    MARK JACOBS, Janice’s husband, takes Janice in his arms to calm her down.

    MARK

    We got a call from some man. He put Heidi on the phone. He told us not to call the police. That he’d be in touch.

    JANICE

    Who has my daughter?

    JACK

    I don’t know.

    JANICE

    Liar! You know exactly who has her. This is about you. About you and that boy you killed. You and your fucking partner!

    The house phone on a side table RINGS. Everyone stops.

    Jack answers the call.

    JACK

    Donovan.

    HILL (O.S.)

    (on phone)

    We have your daughter.

    JACK

    What do you want?

    HILL (O.S.)

    (on phone)

    You. And your partner. And the hard drive you took from the technician.

    Jack hesitates, a furrowed brow. Confused.

    HILL (O.S.) (CONT’D)

    (on phone)

    Personally, I never thought you had in you. The technician maybe. But the wife? That was fucked up.

    (beat)

    You still there?

    JACK

    I want proof of life.

    A moment, soft SOUNDS. Then…

    HEIDI (O.S.)

    (oh phone; afraid)

    Mommy?

    Before Jack can speak, she’s gone. Jack fumes.

    HILL (O.S.)

    (on phone)

    You know the score. No tricks. Just you and your partner. You lives for hers. Or she’s dead.

    JACK

    Where?

    HILL (O.S.)

    (on phone)

    Call your Russian girlfriend in an hour. She’ll give you directions.

    (beat)

    Don’t fuck this up.

    The phone goes dead.

    JACK

    She’s alive.

    Janice nearly collapses in grief.

    JACK (CONT’D)

    They’ll trade. Heidi for us.

    (to Frank)

    And they want the technician’s hard drive.

    FRANK

    They don’t have it.

    (beat)

    Then who does?

    Jack looks at Mark.

    JACK

    You’re a tech guy. You have a spare hard drive around here? The older the better.

    MARK

    I can find one. It’s encrypted.

    JACK

    Get it.

    Mark heads off to find a hard drive.

    FRANK

    Where and when?

    JACK

    They’ll call your friend in an hour, give us directions.

    (to Janice)

    Get out of the house. Pack a bag and disappear. Find a cheap motel, something out of the way. I’ll call your cell when it’s over.

    Janice steps in close to Jack.

    JANICE

    Bring her back to me. Please!

    Jack takes her shoulders and peers resolute into her eyes.

    JACK

    Whoever did this is going to die. Every last one of them.

    FRANK

    It’s about fucking time.

    Jack kisses her on the forehead.

    Mark returns and hands Jack a hard drive.

    MARK

    It’s old. I don’t know what’s on it.

    One last reassuring look, Jack follows Frank out and closes the front door.

    CUT TO:

  • Lori Lance

    Member
    March 16, 2022 at 4:26 pm

    Lori’s Completed Act 3

    What I learned is to keep moving forward. When I stop to analyze, I feel overwhelmed and stuck.

    Added Scene to Scene to Act 3:

    INT. THOMAS’ OFFICE – CONTINUOUS

    Thomas rushes into his office and closes the door behind him. He picks up the picture of Joan off of his desk.

    THOMAS

    (sobs)

    Joan.

    After a few moments of Thomas trying to gain his composure, there’s a KNOCK on the door.

    THOMAS

    (barely audible)

    Yes?

    John opens the door. He and Miriam stand there looking bewildered at Thomas.

    JOHN

    Thomas, is everything alright? Is there anything I can do?

    Thomas shakes his head.

    THOMAS

    No one can fix this. I just need some time alone.

    JOHN

    You know, you can call me anytime. I’ll be praying.

    Thomas looks at John, who nods and leaves.

    Miriam remains standing just in the doorway while John’s FOOTSTEPS disappear down the hallway.

    MIRIAM

    Henry Spencer took Joan from you. Please don’t let him take everyone else too.

    Thomas looks at Miriam, and tears again fill his eyes.

    Miriam turns and leaves.

    Thomas listens to her FOOTSTEPS, and then a distant DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES.

    Thomas walks to the doorway, looking down the dark hallway that leads to the sanctuary.

Log in to reply.

Assignment Submission Area

In the text box below, please type your assignment. Ensure that your work adheres to the lesson's guidelines and is ready for review by our AI.

Thank you for submitting your assignment!

Our AI will review your work and provide feedback within few minutes and will be shown below lesson.