• jaye Blohm

    Member
    June 28, 2021 at 2:28 am

    JAYE’S ACT 4 FIRST SCENE

    What I learned is the protagonist I started with ended up being a co-protagonist and the actual antagonist turned out to be someone else. Figuring out my dilemma for Villain helped me to redirect my climax.

    INT. VILLAIN’S CAVE / LIVING ROOM – LATE AFTERNOON

    Villain comes out of the bathroom. Clean forehead, fresh change of
    clothes. Hero has already washed and changed.

    Hero is at the stove, apron, frying chicken breasts.

    Villain looks at Hero’s pants. X-ray vision reveals a diamond in Hero’s
    pocket. Not a surprise.

    VILLAIN
    What if this is our life now?
    Two broken supers.

    HERO
    I always thought you had a
    choice.

    VILLAIN
    You don’t think you have a
    choice?

    HERO
    I don’t know.
    (beat)
    Eventually the snake bites.

    Villain chews his lip.

    HERO (CONT’D)
    You ready to be the Hero?

    VILLAIN
    I hate everything that’s
    happened to me.
    (beat)
    Except I’ve never had a friend
    before.

    Hero turns the chicken. He looks at Villain and smiles. A shared
    connection.

    A VOICE from the cave’s entrance calls their attention.

    MAYOR
    Gentlemen!

    Hero and Villain look. Mayor and Scientist enter. Mayor wears an
    earpiece that flashes with a green light. Scientist wheels a large
    crate behind him.

    HERO
    Mayor..?

    MAYOR
    May we come in?

    Villain’s face drops. Mayor eyes Hero at the stove.

    MAYOR (CONT’D)
    I hope I’m not interrupting
    anything.

    HERO
    How did you know where he
    lives?

    MAYOR
    He showed me.

    Hero looks at Villain. Villain touches his aide.

    Scientist opens the crate while Mayor makes his way further in. He
    indicates to Hero.

    MAYOR (CONT’D)
    Please, have a seat.

    Hero remains standing. He removes his apron and places it over a
    dining chair.

    HERO
    (to Villain)
    What’s going on?

    Villain swallows hard.

    MAYOR
    We have a lot of catching up
    to do.

    Villain opens his mouth to speak. Mayor holds up the detonation
    device. Shakes his head.

    HERO
    Don’t touch him.

    Mayor laughs as Scientist pulls out a mystery device. Points it at
    Hero.

    MAYOR
    I’m not here for him.

    Hero looks at Villain. Villain looks at the ground.

    Scientist makes his way around Hero, aiming the device at the back
    of his head.

    MAYOR (CONT’D)
    It’s only fair you know why
    you’ll be dying.

    Mayor paces. Clears his throat. He’s been waiting for this moment.

    MAYOR
    I have the cleanest city. Lowest
    crime-rate in the nation. And
    everyone thinks I’m a joke.

    Hero furrows his brow.

    MAYOR (CONT’D)
    My city. Your glory.

    MAYOR (CONT’D)
    That lightning strike was meant
    for you, but this jackass hit you
    both.

    SCIENTIST
    Lightning is very difficult–

    MAYOR
    Shh! Don’t interrupt my
    monologue!

    Scientist purses his lips.

    MAYOR (CONT’D)
    Shit. Where was I?
    (beat)
    Anyway… you could solve every
    crime — except one.

    HERO
    The missing people.

    Mayor laughs.

    MAYOR
    I was going to kill you and
    (air quotes)
    “find” the missing and
    (air quotes)
    “rescue” them myself, and
    finally these goddamned citizens
    and colleagues would take me
    seriously!

    HERO
    I helped you.

    MAYOR
    You stole my spotlight.

    Mayor paces.

    MAYOR
    But the lightning debacle makes
    it even better.
    (beat)
    If you would have died, the
    whole city would have mourned
    you. Had a parade. Put up
    statues in your honor. But
    now… now you’re a mess.
    You’re a terror. No one likes
    you and they’ll be glad to see
    you dead.
    (beat)
    And I’ll be the Hero for
    defeating your newfound
    evil-ass.

    Hero clocks Villain. Smoke starts to fill the kitchen.

    MAYOR
    He knew. He revealed your
    weakness, and he brought
    you here.

    Villain shakes his head.

    HERO
    Friend, huh?

    VILLAIN
    I had no choice.

    MAYOR
    You always had a choice.

    Hero’s heart breaks. Mayor looks to Scientist.

    MAYOR
    Now.

    A high-pitched SMOKE DETECTOR pierces the air. Hero and
    Scientist look.

    Hero bolts. He runs for the cave opening grabbing Mayor as he
    runs out at bullet speed. The detonation device drops to the floor.

    Hero runs across the top of the water!

    MAYOR
    NOT NOW!!!

    Scientist shoots!

    LIGHTNING hits hero in the back! Mayor screams as he and Hero
    drop below the water.

  • James Clark

    Member
    June 28, 2021 at 5:19 pm

    THIRTY DAY SCREENPLAY ASSIGNMENT #21

    James E. Clark Act 4 First Scenes

    What I learned from this assignment: Act three and Act four tend to blend together. I need to better define those in my outlines.

    1. Act 4: 25 pages – Test the change in this character! Prove the New Ways.

    OUTLINE

    INT. RV – DAY

    Carrie is praying that she’s just getting to enjoy civilian life and now it’s going to end soon. She asks for more time to get back to the Camp.

    She asks Nelson to drive her back.

    TE15: She asks Nelson to drive back to the camp rather than fly

    NOTE: REDO Act 3 where so that the bus is still in the story.

    MONTAGE

    EXT. RV ON THE ROAD – DAY

    Headed West.

    EXT CHURCH – DAY

    They are painting. Carrie struggles with holding on to tools. She trips trying to get back into her RV.

    EXT. VARIOUS – DAY

    She blogs daily about her travels and her predicament.

    People following her blog come out to see her as she goes through their towns.

    She spends more time getting to know the locals than she does working on projects – although she still does that too.

    She takes candid photos of people in their everyday life.

    Nelson gives her regular encouragement.

    INT. DOCTOR’S OFFICE – DAY

    Doctor review her medical chart from the Navy. He indicates it won’t be long. He strongly suggests she check in to a hospital. She refuses saying she won’t die in a hospital.

    INT. BUS – DAY

    They pull into a camp ground. Another camper comes over and asks if she is Carrie Waters. He loves her blog.

    EXT. HIGHWAY – DAY

    The bus is driving on a road in a vast expanse of wheat fields.

    INT. BUS – DAY

    Carrie is enjoying not having to drive so that she can take in the passing countryside.

    EXT. CAMP – DAY

    Carries struggles to get out of the bus. Snow on the ground.

    INT. CAMP DINING HALL – DAY

    Nelson wheels Carrie into the DH in a wheel chair. The volunteers are long gone. Camp staff is a skeleton crew. The DH is decorated for Christmas.

    EXT CAMP – NIGHT

    Nelson carries her to his truck and places her in the front seat.

    She asks where they are going. It’s a surprise.

    EXT. HILLTOP OVERLOOK – NIGHT

    It’s Christmas Eve. They watch the moon rise over the lake. She dies in his arms.

    The truck pulls up to the edge of a lake. Nelson points and tells Carrie to watch that direction.

    The full moon begins to rise. It’s bright orange getting slowly less so as it rises higher.

    They talk about their love for each other, their Navy experiences. He opens a small case. It’s her Purple Heart. He pins it on her.

    She dies in his arms.

    KEY SCENES 1 & 2

    WRITE KEY SCENES 1 & 2

    KEY SCENE 1

    INT. BUS – DAY

    Carrie gets a text from a church in a town nearby.

    EXT CHURCH – DAY

    A small white clapboard church.

    Nelson is painting a door set on sawhorses.

    Carrie guides Nelson on how to hang the door.

    INT. BUS – DAY

    Nelson is driving. Carrie writes her blog for the day. Then she responds to messages from her fans. She sends photos and videos to Sarah at TBN.

    She gets a text to stop at City Park in the next town.

    EXT. CITY PARK – DAY

    The bus pulls into the parking lot of the park. There’s a banner up welcoming Carrie. Lots of people are there to cheer her on.

    CARRIE

    How did they know?

    NELSON

    Sarah’s fingerprints deem to be on this one.

    Sarah and a camera operator step out from behind the crowd.

    CARRIE

    Your fingerprints too.

    NESLON

    Yeah. Mea Culpa.

    EXT. BUS – DAY

    Nelson helps Carrie out of the bus. She struggles to walk. He holds her up.

    SARAH

    What do you think?

    CARRIE

    I think you’re sneaky. And I love it.

    SARAH

    You’re a hero to so many people.

    Carrie takes photos of people who come to wish her well.

    INT. TBN STUDIO – DAY

    Sarah is sitting at the stage desk.

    SARAH

    .. and that just one of many towns that a cheering Carrie on as she travels. You can follow her at carrieblog.com. Full disclosure, I’ve known Carrie for almost fifteen years. She was engaged to my brother up until twelve years ago. They’ve reconnected and are engaged again. She served in the Navy for twenty three years and retired earlier this year and a Senor Chief. She’s a combat Vet with a Purple Heart. Her whole Navy career was as a Seabee. So, you young girls out there – YEAH! You can do construction too. You can accomplish whatever you want.

    KEY SCENE 2

    EXT. CAMP – DAY

    Snow is on the ground. Nelson helps Carrie from the bus and helps her into a wheel chair.

    Staff show up to welcome them back.

    WOMAN 1

    We set up a cabin for you.

    CARRIE

    Thanks. I’ll enjoy having more space.

    INT. CABIN – DAY

    Nelson is putting wood in the fire place.

    CARRIE

    Thanks. I’ll be fine. Go get settled back in.

    NELSON

    See you at dinner. Cook’s making your favorite.

    CARRIE

    Chicken feet. Yum!

    NELSON

    Cook can do that too.

    INT. DINING HALL – NIGHT

    The dining hall is decorated for Christmas. The countdown to Christmas reads six days.

    Carrie is seated at a table. Staff is going through the chow line.

    Nelson approaches the table with two trays. He sets one in front of Carrie. It’s meat loaf, mashed potatoes and peas. On tip of the mashed potatoes is a yellow PEEP.

    Carrie looks at Nelson then at the staff watching her and she breaks out laughing.

    EXT. CAMP – DAY

    Nelson pushes Carrie on a trail by the pond.

    INT. WORKSHOP – DAY

    Carrie visits with the Maintenance man.

    Maintenance Man

    How would you run new electrical lines for the exterior spot lights?

    Carrie and the Maintenance man are going over a drawing of her ideas.

    EXT. FIRE BREAK – DAY

    Nelson lifts Carrie into the seat of the Grader. He stays with her. She starts the engine.

    Carrie clears snow from the fire break.

    CARRIE

    I’d say I’m going to miss this. But I have a mansion waiting and I’m looking forward to being there.

    NELSON

    I’m sure it’s a beaut.

    INT. CABIN – DAY

    Carrie’s in bed. Nelson brings her breakfast.

    NELSON

    Merry Christmas Eve. I bring sustenance.

    CARRIE

    You’re too good for me.

    NELSON

    Not so. Yet, thanks.

    CARRIE

    Do me one more favor?

    NELOSN

    Sure, what?

    EXT. CAMP PARKING LOT – NIGHT

    Nelson lifts Carrie from the wheel chair and puts her in his truck.

    EXT. ROAD – NIGHT

    The headlights shine off the snowy trees.

    NELSON

    One of my favorite spots coming up.

    EXT. LAKESIDE – NIGHT

    Nelson

    Looks like we got the timing right.

    CARRIE

    What?

    NELSON

    Shhh. Just watch, over those trees.

    Nelson points

    Slowly a full moon that’s bright orange begins to rise over the trees. Carrie cries.

    CARRIE

    Oh Nelson, it’s beautiful.

    Carrie snuggle into his arm.

    NELSON

    You’re my full moon.

    They watch as the moon rises higher. Nelson hears a long exhale. She’s no longer breathing.

    Nelson cries, then deep sobs.

    NESLON

    Someday, I’ll come visit you in your mansion.

  • Karin Hallen

    Member
    June 28, 2021 at 7:15 pm

    Karin Hallén’s Act 4 First Scenes

    What I learned doing this assignment is that it’s more difficult to write short and effective scenes than long ones and I think I might need to get to the climax quicker. Especially since I have two protagonists. The antagonist is the second protagonist so she needs to go through the same journey, even if on a smaller scale. Making notes to figure out how to possibly condense in the rewrite.

    Outline Key Scenes 1 and 2

    INT. HOTEL – DAY – NEXT MORNING

    Beginning

    George wakes up from his alarm and sits up on his bed, looking worse for wear. He is drunk. His clothes are wrinkled. All the minibar’s bottles lay strewn around him, empty.

    Middle

    He talks to the shattered pieces of the lamp as he sweeps them up and dumps them in the trash. He throws Geena’s tennis outfit in there too. One of the shards of the lamp is outside the trash can, which is full now.

    End

    Absentmindedly he puts it in the pocket of his blazer.

    INT. LARGE LECTURE ROOM – DAY

    Beginning

    George Arrives still looking worse for wear. The room is already full of people impatiently waiting. He greets them old style, hides his insecurity behind being flashy.

    Middle

    People ask for Geena. He says she’s on sick leave. Reminds them that this is all his anyway. She was just helping out. George continues. He’s boring. People ask for Geena again. He badmouths her.

    End

    Someone says that they don’t believe what he says. People leave.

    MONTAGE

    George does poorly at several speaking engagements. The audience gets smaller and smaller. The rooms get smaller and smaller.

    INT. SMALL DULL SPEAKING ROOM – DAY

    Beginning

    George speaks to a very small audience of elderly people. Only a handful of men and women. One person is asleep, another yawns. One woman is on Facebook.

    Middle

    A man in a wheelchair rolls out of the room. He suggest to a man he passes by that let’s go watch a rerun of M*A*S*H instead. The other man stands up and leaves with him. George breaks down and says so. Says I’ve had it I can’t do this anymore. I’m done.

    End

    George runs out. On his way out and walking away down the street George talks to himself, accusing himself for being more like a failure than ever – a fraud. Admits it to himself. He picks up the phone and makes a call. Says cancel the rest of my book tour.

    EXT. TENNIS COURT – DAY

    Beginning

    George looks lonelier than ever entering a tennis court, head down.

    Middle

    He plays tennis against a wall with lackluster spirit.

    End

    He sees a couple playing on a court nearby. They cheer each other on and look like they have great fun.

    EXT. GOLF COURSE – DAY

    Geena plays golf, fully decked out in golf gear. She smiles It looks like she’s happy and living the good life with new golf buddies.

    INT. GEORGE’S APARTMENT – DAY

    Beginning

    The apartment is drab. George is down in the dumps. Unshaven. Dressed in an old robe. Shuffles around in slippers. Drinks a beer. The shard from Geena’s lamp that George put in his pocket sits on his small fireplace mantle.

    Middle

    He takes it from the mantle. Sits down in a chair.

    End

    He sits there in deep though staring into nothing with the shard in his hand. The day becomes night.

    INT. GEORGE’S APARTMENT – NIGHT – SAME NIGHT HOURS LATER

    TRANSFORMATIONAL EVENT 7

    Beginning

    His neighbor knocks on the door, a young person, feeling very lonely and depressed. He asks for advice/help. He’s read an article George wrote a long time ago.

    Middle

    George, very resigned himself is real and honest with the neighbor. They have a good conversation. The person leaves feeling better. Before he leaves he asks if George would talk at his school. George says no.

    End

    And after he leaves George looks lighter, invigorated. He undergoes a major change.

    INT. GEORGE’S APARTMENT – DAY

    George has real clothes on. He puts dishes in the dishwasher. The phone rings. It’s the young person again saying he’s talked to the school. They want him to speak. Would he please reconsider.

    EXT. GOLF COURSE – DAY

    Beginning

    Geena plays golf with three golf friends. She suggests a friendly competition with her co players for the last 9 holes and they refuse to have any of it. They say that golf is a gentleman’s sport and they don’t need to compete among friends.

    Middle

    After the last hole they pass a tennis court on the way back to the club house. Geena looks over at the tennis court wistfully. She asks if anyone is up for a game. They look at her like she is crazy.

    Geena looks reminiscent. She thinks she sees George playing at the tennis court and actually lights up. It’s not him. She hears in her head the mean things she yelled to him the last time she saw him.

    Her golf friends say that it’s time for a bite to eat and it jolts her back to reality. She shakes it off and laughs at something. But something seems changed in her.

    INT. GOLF CLUBHOUSE – RESTAURANT – DAY

    Geena has lunch with her golf buddies but appears distant and subdued.

    End

    EXT. RESORT BOOKSTORE – DAY

    Geena walks by a bookstore, still in golf gear. She glances in through the open door and spots George’s book on a shelf. She enters the store and buys it.

    Write Key Scenes 1: Reaction to 3rd Act Turning Point <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Write Key Scenes 2: Protagonist faces their Dilemma

    <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>

    INT. HOTEL – DAY – NEXT MORNING

    An alarm rings. George wakes up, laying on top of the bed, fully dressed. He fumbles for his phone and turns off the alarm. He looks worse for wear. He is drunk. His clothes are wrinkled. All the bottles from the open minibar lay strewn around him, empty. He looks at the time and tries to stand up. He immediately puts a hand on his forehead and grimaces in pain.

    He shuffles to the bathroom and comes out swallowing three ibuprofens and a glass of water. He steps on a shard from Geena’s broken lamp and curses out loud.

    He grabs a hotel magazine and uses it as a makeshift broom to sweep up the pieces of the broken lamp. He dumps the pieces and shards in the trash can mumbling curses as he does.

    George grabs Geena’s tennis outfit and stuffs it in the trash can, too. He throws his toiletry bag into his open carry on suitcase sitting on the floor. He doesn’t notice that a large shard from the lamp is in his carry on. The toiletry bag lands on top of it. He closes the suitcase.

    INT. LARGE LECTURE ROOM – DAY

    George arrives, still dressed in the same clothes as he slept in, still looking worse for wear. He has his carry on suitcase with him. The room is already full of people impatiently waiting. George heads up towards the stage. He asks for a glass of water on his way there. He enters the stage. He gets a bottle of water and downs the whole bottle.

    GEORGE

    Placeholder: Insert Old Ways dialogue here. He greets them old style, hides his insecurity behind being flashy. Criticizes and complains a lot about everyone and everything in the world. Whines.

    A GIRL, 12 sits in the audience with her mom. The Girl raises her hand and interrupts George in the middle of a sentence.

    GIRL

    Where is Geena?

    GEORGE

    Uum, she couldn’t make it.

    GIRL

    But I came to see her. Will she be able to make it later?

    GEORGE

    No, umm, she’s on sick leave.

    GIRL

    For how long?

    GEORGE

    I don’t know. Look, she has nothing to do with this anyway. This is all mine. It’s my book. My theories.

    An OLDER MAN chimes in.

    OLDER MAN

    But I heard her on Oprah and everything she said made sense. That’s why I’m here. It’s like she understood how I feel. Like she’s been there.

    A PURPLE HAIRED WOMAN chimes in.

    PURPLE-HAIRED WOMAN

    Yeah, that’s how I feel too, and like she really cares.

    GEORGE

    I care! That’s why I’m here. I care more than anyone! You hear that! Geena is bitch! She was trying to steal the show, all the attention. I have done all this work. Me, just me! I wrote the book! And what thank you do I get for that? This? You guys just don’t get it. It’s so typical. People always try to push you aside and step in front of you. And you don’t see that! No wonder you have problems. People are idiots!

    The Purple-Haired woman stands up and leaves. Most of the audience follows her.

    DISSOLVE TO:

    MONTAGE

    George does poorly at several speaking engagements. The audience gets smaller and smaller. The rooms get smaller and smaller.

    DISSOLVE TO:

    INT. SMALL DULL SPEAKING ROOM – DAY

    George speaks to a very small audience of elderly people. Only a handful of men and women. One person is asleep, another one yawns. One woman is on Facebook.

    GEORGE

    If you go to page 137 in my book there is a segment especially focusing on you elderly people.

    A MAN IN A WHEELCHAIR, 80s, snorts, offended.

    MAN IN WHEELCHAIR

    Us elderly. You’re not so far away yourself, you snoot.

    George doesn’t hear, or pretends not to hear. He fumbles with a copy of his book, looking for a page.

    GEORGE

    Here. Let me read. “The older generation faces a unique set of challenges.

    George is a dull, monotonous, reader. The Man in the Wheelchair makes loud snoring sounds.

    MAN IN WHEELCHAIR

    If I want to read the book I’ll just read it. It’s 11 am and you’re more effective than Ambien and hammer in the head combined.

    The Man in The Wheelchair rolls out of the room. He stops next to a white-haired man on the way out.

    MAN IN WHEELCHAIR

    Let’s go watch a rerun of M*A*S*H instead.

    The white-haired man stands up and leaves with him.

    George looks at the three people left in the room. One person is still sleeping, The woman on Facebook is still on her phone. The person who was yawning earlier is now knitting.

    George breaks down and starts crying.

    GEORGE

    I’ve had it I can’t do this anymore. I’m done.

    George runs out of the room and out of the building.

    EXT STREET – DAY

    On his way out and walking fast down the street George talks to himself, accusing himself for being more like a failure than ever – a fraud. Admits it to himself.

    GEORGE

    I’m such a loser. I hate myself. They are right. Everyone is right. I’m a failure. A complete failure. I suck. How did I ever think I could help anyone. I hate myself. I’m completely useless. I should have known. Look at me.

    George comes to a stop outside a shop window to a men’s store and sees his own reflection in the window next to the suit-clad chiseled and manly mannequin in the window. He looks like a sad, pitiful mess with droopy shoulders next to the perfectly dressed, handsome mannequin.

    He picks up the phone and makes a call.

    GEORGE

    Cancel the rest of my book tour.

    EXT. TENNIS COURT – DAY

    George enters the tennis court area, looking tired and joyless. He looks around.

    He plays tennis against the wall with lackluster spirit.

    He sees a couple playing on a court nearby. They cheer each other on and look like they have great fun. George watches them from afar for a minute, reminiscing. He leaves.

    EXT. GOLF COURSE – DAY

    Geena plays golf, fully decked out in golf gear. She smiles It looks like she’s happy and living the good life with new golf buddies.

    INT. GEORGE’S APARTMENT – DAY

    The apartment is drab. George is down in the dumps. Unshaven. Dressed in an old robe. Shuffles around in indoor slippers. Drinks a beer.

    The shard from Geena’s lamp that ended up in George’s suitcase sits on his small fireplace mantle. He takes it from the mantle and sits down in an armchair. He sits there in deep thought with the shard in his hand staring into nothing. The day becomes night.

    DISSOLVE TO:

    INT. GEORGE’S APARTMENT – NIGHT – SAME DAY

    It’s dark outside and dark inside the apartment aside from a dim light finding its way in through a window from streetlight. It illuminates the room and George just enough to make out his features. He still sits in the same position, in the same arm chair. It looks like he hasn’t moved.

    There is a KNOCK on the door. George looks up, startled. There is another KNOCK. After some hesitation George gets up and shuffles over to the door. He looks through the peep hole in the door. A young guy TIM, early 20s, stringy hair stands outside. George opens the door a few inches, but keeps the security chain on.

    GEORGE

    What do you want?

    TIM

    Mr. Wallow?

    GEORGE

    Yeah. Who are you?

    TIM

    My name is Tim. I umm, I live across the hall. I was hoping I could talk to you for a minute.

    GEORGE

    I’m busy.

    TIM

    Of course. I’m sorry.

    Tim looks really depressed and defeated. His shoulders sag and his eyes are filled with pain. He turns to leave.

    GEORGE

    Hey. I might have a minute. What do you want to talk about?

    TIM

    I just really need to talk to somebody. Anybody. I saw your light was on. And… I’ve read something you wrote and I thought… I don’t know I just took a chance… that maybe you would understand. I’m sorry. That’s rude to just knock like that… I just…, I don’t know who else to go to. I don’t know what to do to. How to feel better. I just can’t take it anymore.

    Tim starts shivering and crying. George opens the door fully letting Tim in. He checks the hallway before closing the door.

    GEORGE

    Come in. You read my book?

    Tim takes out a paper that has been folded and unfolded many times from the pocket in his denim jacket. It’s a printout of an online blog article.

    George takes the article and looks at it. He looks embarrassed.

    GEORGE

    This is ten years old. That was way before my book. I was just rambling. I should have deleted it.

    TIM

    I just saw it a year ago. But I’ve carried it around with me since. It felt like you were a friend speaking exactly to me. That there was one more person out there who felt as useless and hopeless as I do. It helped me. It helped me not to feel so completely alone. But…I…need… some hope now.

    Tim sobs.

    GEORGE

    Sit down, please. Can I get you something? Water, a beer?

    Tim still sits down, still sobbing.

    George heads to the kitchen and returns with a glass of water and a beer. He awkwardly gives Tim an encouraging pat on the shoulder.

    GEORGE

    Hey man, have some water.

    Tim gathers himself and takes a drink of water.

    GEORGE

    I’m really sorry that you feel so bad. But you came to the wrong person. I can’t even help myself. I thought I could. I tried to prove everyone wrong but in the end I only proved myself wrong. And them right.

    TIM

    Who? About what?

    GEORGE

    And that’s the thing, I don’t even know anymore. It all became so convoluted.

    TIM

    That’s exactly how I feel. Everything is convoluted. And I can’t find the center of anything. It’s just too much. Everything.

    GEORGE

    I don’t even know if all these people I tried to prove wrong ever had an opinion.

    TIM

    I can’t find any meaning. In anything. It’s like everything spins by and I’m behind a glass just looking at it. And I don’t even care. It’s just too much. But not enough somehow.

    GEORGE

    (INSERT DIALOGUE: Says something sincere and caring, shifting the focus to Tim fully. Asks something caring.)

    TIM

    (INSERT DIALOGUE: Answers and opens up.)

    They continue talking. George is very real and honest. They have a good conversation. Real communication. A real connection. Tim calms down and lightens up. He feels better, hopeful. He is very grateful for George’s time.

    TIM

    (Insert dialogue about friendship, real friends.)

    GEORGE

    (Insert caring dialogue about something funny)

    They both laugh in a genuine way. The atmosphere is lighter.

    TIM

    Well, I should go. I don’t want to keep you up all night.

    Tim stands up.

    GEORGE

    Oh, it’s alright. I’m a night owl.

    TIM

    I don’t know how to thank you. I can’t even tell you how much this helped me. Just to have someone real, like you, to talk to. Someone who gets it.

    GEORGE

    I’m really glad you feel better.

    George stands up too and they go to the front door. Tim stops in the doorway.

    TIM

    Hey, would you be interested in speaking at my school? They hire speakers from outside all the time.

    GEORGE

    Nope. I’m done with public speaking. But you can come over here anytime you want to talk.

    And after Tim leaves George looks lighter, invigorated. He undergoes a major change.

    DISSOLVE TO:

    INT. GEORGE’S APARTMENT – DAY

    George has real clothes on. He puts dishes in the dishwasher. The phone rings. George answers.

    GEORGE

    Hello. Tim! How are you?

    TIM (O.S.)

    Good. I hope you don’t mind, but I talked to my school. I told them about you. And they would love for you to come and speak here. I know you said no already, but I was hoping you might reconsider. Please.

    George looks pensive.

    EXT. GOLF COURSE – DAY

    The weather is gorgeous. Geena plays golf with three GOLF BUDDIES. They move leisurely from hole to hole.

    GEENA

    Hey, how about a friendly competition on the last 9 holes?

    GOLF BUDDY 1

    I don’t think that’s necessary.

    GOLF BUDDY 2

    I agree. Why ruin a perfectly relaxing round?

    GOLF BUDDY 3

    Yeah, no need to compete among friends.

    GEENA

    Ok. No, of course.

    They keep playing.

    After the last hole, they walk back towards the Clubhouse. Across the parking lot, there is a tennis court. Geena glances at it.

    GEENA

    In anyone up for a game of tennis sometime?

    Her golf buddies laugh as if she was joking until they realize she means it.

    GOLF BUDDY 2

    Are you crazy?

    Golf Buddies 1 and 3 shake their heads.

    GOLF BUDDY 1

    Not for me.

    Geena looks reminiscent. She looks at the tennis court again. Two men enter the court. One of them looks just like George from behind. Geena lights up.

    GEENA

    (to herself)

    George?

    The tennis players take their sides and the man who looks like George faces Geena. He has a beard and doesn’t look like George at all face on.

    Geena hears in her head all the mean things she yelled to George the last time she saw him.

    GEENA (V.O.)

    You are a failure and nobody likes you! You’re going to be alone for the rest of your life and everyone thinks you’re pathetic! They laugh at you.

    Golf Buddy 3 nudges Geena.

    GOLF BUDDY 3

    You coming? Let’s get a bite and a beer.

    Geena comes back to reality. She shakes it off.

    GEENA

    You know I wouldn’t say no to that.

    She laughs.

    GOLF BUDDY 2

    That’s our Geena.

    INT. GOLF CLUBHOUSE – RESTAURANT – DAY

    Geena has lunch with her golf buddies but appears distant and subdued.

    EXT. RESORT BOOKSTORE – DAY

    Geena walks by a bookstore, still in golf gear. She glances in through the open door and spots George’s book on a shelf. She stops and hesitates. She enters the store.

    INT. RESORT BOOKSTORE – DAY

    Geena buys George’s book.

  • Mary Chamberlin

    Member
    June 28, 2021 at 9:51 pm

    Mary and Rich’s Act 4 First Scenes

    What I learned doing this assignment is to face the ending straight on, seeing how the characters rebound from the setback and possibly turn it all around, and what will happen if they can’t win after all.

    1. Outline for Key Scenes 1 and 2

    INT – MORTY’S APARTMENT – DAY

    Work has stopped, they will fail. Morty almost relapses to despair, visits with the memory of his lost wife and kid. Realizes things are for shit – no job, no relationship, and his partner is in a pit of despair also. He’s sees he’s gotta right things, not sure if can save himself, but can help Jax by being the father he once was for Jax since his has written him off.

    INT – JAX’S APARTMENT – DAY

    Work has stopped, they will fail. Jax accepts Dad’s money has stopped, and he recalls Melanies panic. Then he recalls her Mom saying shes breaking up with Morty and hitting the road, for good. So Jax realizes his pain is the feeling of – responsibility. Responsibility to Melanie, Kyle, and Morty. He doesn’t run away, but does head out – to Morty’s place.

    INT – MORTY’S APARTMENT – DAY

    They come together to try to regroup. Morty accepts he’s alone, Jax accepts responsibility. Now they must win the contest,

    or even that won’t work, and all will be lost.

    2. Write Key Scene 1: Reaction to 3rd Act Turning Point.

    3. Write Key Scene 2: Protagonist faces their Dilemma.

    INT.-MORTY’S HOUSE – THE NEXT DAY

    Morty sits on his couch. In front of him on his coffee table is a picture of a woman and a child.

    He drinks a cup of coffee, silently staring.

    INT. JAX’S APARTMENT – DAY

    Jax sits on his couch. He is throwing darts at a dartboard across the room. Empty cans of seltzer water are

    strewn about him along with empty bags of junk food.

    INT. MORTY’S HOUSE – DAY

    Morty clinks his coffee cup onto its saucer with a loud silent-breaking chink. He touches the picture of his wife

    and child, then, tilts it face down on the table.

    INT. JAX’S APARTMENT – DAY

    Jax sits, his gaze catching things in his apartment.

    A coffee pot.

    A toy plane.

    A book of Shakespeare plays.

    Finally, the kitty. The odd-shaped bank that holds their “ka-ching” dollars.

    Jax moves from stillness. His foot steps on an empty bag, causing a loud crinkle.

    Jax gets up and kicks one of the empty seltzer cans.

    INT. MORTY’S HOUSE – DAY

    The doorbell rings. Morty looks. He slowly gets up to answer it.

    Swinging the door open, he finds Jax, holding the “ka-ching” jar.

    Morty backs away retreating to his couch.

    Jax enters.

    JAX: I had to put five dollars in.

    Morty doesn’t answer.

    JAX: (continues) After I finished cursing you up and down. On my honor.

    Jax sees the picture face down on the table. He sits across from Morty and picks it up.

    JAX: Morty, this your wife and kid?

    MORTY: Ka-ching.

    JAX: Like usual, I guess I was too afraid to go there.

    MORTY: All of us find ways to hide, until we finally decide that hiding’s for rabbits and voles. After they died

    in the car accident, I hid in my work. But, now that works gone, I’m finally coming out of the den. Until–

    JAX:–Morty. I’m sorry. I was, am a stupid kid.

    MORTY: Yeah, you got yourself another ka-ching.

    JAX: Sheesh. I need to get more dollars at the drive through. Look Morty, I’m in. How about you?

    MORTY: I’m in Jax.

  • Byrne

    Member
    June 29, 2021 at 1:33 am

    Bernadette Wilson – Lesson 21 – Act 4 Begins

    What I learned to writing this lesson is I just have to write out many different ideas and scenarios in order to get to the climax. So many holes and unanswered questions but the good news is, the ideas are flowing.

    ACT 4 – Key # 1

    INT: Brinda’s Apartment – NIGHT

    After Brinda opens the wooden box file that was hidden in Dr. Sonya’s drawer, she finds many old files from 1946-58.

    Many of the people are Lobotomized in the file but then she stumbles upon her mother’s file – Miriam Joan Cage.

    She finally has the files of her mother in hand, and what they did to her in the insane asylum. She is riveted when she finds out that her mother was ultimately lobotomized, under the direction of Dr. Jacobson, and ultimately died in the mental hospital. She then finds an almost empty file of a Mary Lou Baker, whose file is scarcely there. There have been things taken out of it. Not even her picture is there.

    Then the crying woman calls back and say, “Don’t let them hurt me.” By the end of the call, Brinda takes a stake and asks, “is This Mary Lou? There is silence on the end of the line. And she hangs up.

    Brinda is confused. She does not know what the antagonist wants.

    She goes back into the file and looks through it thoroughly and sees if there’s anything on a Mary Lou Baker. There’s pictures of all of the patients but none from Mary Lou Baker.

    She goes looking for Cal at the police station. He’s not there because he was just chewed out by Boss. The secretary comes up to Brinda. Brinda asks where’s Cal. That he went out, not too long ago. Probably to the bar at 44<sup>th</sup>.

    Mimi possibly calls Brinda from the bar phone booth or maybe just outside from it. Brinda asks the secretary if she can show her the pictures from the murder file of Jesse. She opens up the pictures and takes a look at the girl in the pictures again. Or can she have a copy all their own? Possibly back at the flat where she realizes that the girl in the photos look like

    She runs out to the bar.

    Key #2 – Possiblities

    Brinda gets to the bar but can’t find Cal.

    1. Where does Brinda and Cal find out that Webber and Boss have been looking for Mimi the entire time?

    2. When do Webber and Boss find out that Dr. Sonya was the person who mixed the files up and let Mimi escape?

    3. How does Mimi lose them and outsmart the men in this?

    4. How does she assume all different scenarios?

    5. How does Dr. Sonya play into this game?

    6. And is it Mimi who did that to Dr. Sonya? Or was it Webber and his friends to make it look like it was Mimi?

    7. At the climax, who shows up at the place where they catch Mimi.

    8. Why does Brinda go to kill Webber or at least injure him and then Mimi gets away? When Webber tries to shut Mimi up, which they have been doing for years.

    9. At the climax, How does Boss, Webber, Cal, Brinda and Mimi get there?

    10. Somewhere within the script we find out that Webber is a big donor to the insane asylum.

    11. What did Mimi see that Webber and Bos did not want her to see? It was Dr. Sonya that saved her by letting her loose but Mimi is still a sick woman.

  • mickey Gonzo

    Member
    June 29, 2021 at 4:24 am

    Mickey Gonzalez Act 4 First Scenes

    What I learned doing this assignment is Here writing doing things that the character needs to complete her journey with the protagonist. thinking am getting closer as they bond. Her dominance carries through.

    Outline Key Scene 1 and 2.

    Write Key Scene 1: Reaction to 3rd Act Turning Point. Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict

    INT. STORE – DAY

    The clerk opens an old-time square silver register. The array of products in the isles. He hands out change to a customer. Mark is at the cooler. He notices two men at the counter. The clerk is nervous.

    They are trying to extort money.

    EXT. POLICE BUILDING – DAY

    A large two-tone bus white from the windows up and black in color for the rest of the bus. The bus pulls out of the building’s garage carrying inmates Lucasville penitentiary.

    INT. POLICE BUILDING – DAY

    There are several rooms. Mark takes one at a time looking for the narc. We see him walk pass the rooms through glass windows. He runs into a deputy sheriff.

    Deputy

    What are you doing here?

    MARK

    I am looking for a narc Hanna who is driving and stopping at my apartment.

    DEPUTY

    Do what you gotta do.

    Mark leaves.

    INT. MARK’S APARTMENT – NIGHT

    Raquel there. She tends to his wounds. She realizes the manuscript is gone.

    Raquel wants to walk out on him.

    After she tries to get him to stop and go with her. He gets ready upset starts to argue and show his lost and wants her not to go.

    INT. NINE BUILDING – DAY

    Mark is on the second floor. A bald man goes into this room. The door has a pebble glass can’t see through. A woman opens the door on Mark. Mark gets a surprise as he is trying to see through. She asks him to come in.

    He sees the man sitting at a table with a small dim light over his head.

    MAN

    What do want to do?

    MARK

    All I want to do is write.

    The man slips out. Mark cannot see enough what he is doing.

    Mark leaves.

    Scene 2: Protagonist faces their Dilemma

    INT. APARTMENT – DAY

    Raquel is nowhere to be found. He looks for her at places where they been.

    INT. TV BUILDING – DAY

    She is walking down an isle of a TV studio. She comes up on a reporter with crew doing a story. He realizes what she is trying to do. The reporter quickly gets crew to tear down equipment.

    EXT. TV BUILDING – DAY

    She walks away down through the golden French doors out to the sidewalk.

    EXT. PAY PHONE – NIGHT

    Mark calls her apartment. No answer.

  • Deleted User

    Deleted User
    June 29, 2021 at 5:15 pm

    JUDITH ABINGDON Act 4 First Scenes

    “What I learned doing this assignment is…?”

    Key Scene 1

    After admitting to Inez how confused and conflicted she is, Juliet thinks she should go back home to help her mother with the baby, before they can give the news to Madalyn she confronts them when they return from the shopping trip by accusing Juliet of attacking Michael, He has concocted the story in revenge for her blowing him off. Inez sticks up for her but she is devastated again.

    SCENE 2 She does agree to go thru with plans to take Inez to her cabin. A group of friends join in, they bring acid and it’s a crazy weekend. Juliet tho refrains from taking drugs as she wrestles with what to do to resolve her future.

    INT. INEZ’S HOUSE EVENING

    Inez and Juliet arrive home after their shopping trip, Juliet is stashing packages in Inez’s bedroom and Inez makes preparations for her evening drink in the kitchen. Madalyn calls loudly from the back of the house.

    MADALYN

    Wher is that little whore? What kind of a girl behaves like this. And right under my nose?

    INEZ

    What in gods name are you talking about now Madalyn?

    MADALYN

    You just ask her, your precious little princess!

    INEZ

    Ask her what?

    MADALYN

    Ask her why she has to throw herself at any man that comes near her. I guess she gets it from her mother!

    INEZ

    Madalyn! Enough with the insults. You have no room to talk. I don’t think MIchael came from an immuclate conception. NOw what in the hell is the matter?

    MADALYN

    She attacked Michael, tried to make him have sex with her! She knows he is engaged for christs sake! THat is it, she needs to go now!

    INEZ

    I see you are taking the story in full confidence after only hearing one side! Shall we give Juliet a chance to tell her side?

    MADALYN

    Why bother?! I know her answer.

    JULIET

    Oh, so I see the little snake has gone running to his mother to solve his problems, again! I’ll tell you what happened , he came home drunk the other night and tried to molest me as I sat here watching tv.

    MADALYN

    I never heard anything.

    JULIET

    Oh, big surprise, you would sleep thru a hurricane. I told him to get away from me or I would tell on him! I guess he got scared and decided to teach me a lesson for not giving in to him. Not quite prince charming is he.

    MADALYN

    I’m sure you must have teased him first. Always walking around in those skimpy outfits. Pratically inviting it.

    INEZ

    That is quite enough Madalyn. no one here is an innocent, but your closed minded insults are not helping anyone. I will have a talk with Michael, he dares not lie to me. But for now no one is going anywhere. I just want quiet and this drink, please.

    SCENE 2 She does agree to go thru with plans to take Inez to her cabin. A group of friends join in, they bring acid and it’s a crazy weekend. Juliet tho refrains from taking drugs as she wrestles with what to do to resolve her future.

    EXT. STREET INEZ’S HOUSE DAY

    Juliet, Mel a girlfriend and another couple ( hetro) are in a van, they go up to help Inez with the supplies for the weekend. They load the van. Everyone in a good mood, they chat, sing, snack and arrive at the cabin in the woods at dusk.

    EXT. INEZ’S MOUNTAIN CABIN POCONOS DUSK

    INEZ

    Ah, it’s been to long.Smell that smog free air! Shall we start a campfire after we unload?

    ALL

    YES!

    A flurry of activity as things are put away. and they gather twigs and wood for a fire.They sit

    Around the campfire on blankets and cinderblock seats.

    Mel

    This is just perfect! What a great place Inez. You know how to enjoylife.

    Inez

    It doesn’t take much. Good company, beautiful scenery and some good food. Thanks for bringing me guys.

    BOY DRIVER

    Any time Ma’am, my pleasure.

    INEZ

    Who are you calling Ma’am? I don’t want to hear that again, It’s Inez! Now please go make yourself useful and get me a cold beer , please! I think you earned one for yourself too! And grab the marshmellows.

    It’s a low key night, they retire early

    INT. CABIN DAY

    Inea is checking the kitchen supplies.

    INEZ

    Juliet our water supply is low, can you guys go down to the spring and bring some water back, I have the bottles here.

    JULIET

    OH sure. Hey I think we can pick some blackberries on the way! Mel, wanna go to the spring?

    MEL

    Wouldn’t miss it. TINA (Mel’s girl friend ) do you want to go?

    TINA

    Count me in.

    MEL

    Man this trip is just what I needed. Destress for sure.

    JULIET

    What stress have you got?

    MEL

    Just the ush! Ya know. Money, digs, life! Hey, Jules, I got hold of some killer acid , we’re gonna drop later today. Ya wanna join?

    JULIET

    AHHH, no I don’t think it’s for me. I’m more of a mellow pot smoker.

    MEL

    I dig ya. It’s just that this is the ultimate place for a good trip! Well, you let me know if you change your mind. Your up for it aren’t ya Tinn?

    TINA

    OH, definitely! Hey, look at all these blackberries, we could use them for face paint later!

    MEL

    What an awesome idea! Then we can just lick it off!!!! Hmmmm , I’m digging it! ( she winks at Tina)

    JULIET

    UM, Yeah, I think its a good idea one of us stays sober!

    MEL

    Awww, Jules, you need a new boyfriend, you are getting to serious.

    JULIET

    No, I don’t think that’s the answer.

    MEL

    ( playfully ) Or a girlfriend?!

    JULIET

    WHAT? No

    MEL

    Whatever, you’ll work it out! Let’s get back and see what time lift off will be!

    JULIET

    Just don’t tell Inez what you are up to, I mean she’s cool and all but I’m not sure she is ready for the Electric Kool Aid Acid Test!

    MEL

    Don’t worry we will be cool. She woun’t even know!

    JULIET

    Uh huh!

    Everyone returns from their outings, shower and dress

    INEZ

    So who’s hungry? I’ve been busy cooking up a storm.

    MEL

    OH, NO thanks Inez, I think I had to much sun, I’m gonna skip it. Maybe tomorrow tho.

    COUPLE

    OH, no thanks we grapped something at the rec center.

    JULIET ( looking at them puzzled)

    Sure Inez, I bet it’s great. Let’s eat outside on the porch

    MEL and co

    We’re gonna take a walk , back in a bit.

    INEZ

    Watch out for bears!

    MEL

    Huh!

    JULIET

    Just kidding!

    MEL

    Not funny!

    INEZ

    So how are you Monkey? Still lost in your thoughts? Oh, I spoke with MIchael by the way, You were right he is a snake. But I never believed that story anyway. I don’t now what happens to boys at that age. Hormones I guess. Best to steer clear of him.

    JULIET

    I think I will be going soon Inez, so that’s one problem solved.

    INEZ

    Well don’t think about any problems for the rest of the weekend. I forbid it!

    JULIET

    YES, Ma’am, I got it loud and clear!

    INEZ

    OH, you know I hate that word!! Go on and find your friends before I make you wash the dishes.

    JULIET

    But we only have paper plates!

    INEZ

    Gottcha!

    Juliet goes off to find the crew. It’s getting darker as they return to the cabin. They see Inez on the porch with only her cigarette glowing.

    INEZ

    Hey guys, perfect timing. I think I’m going to turn in early. All that cooking tired me out. YOu promise to help me finish it up tomorrow?

    ALL

    For sure!

    Goodnights all around

    MEL

    well I think I’m starting to come on . Anyone else?

    TINA

    Not yet

    COUPLE

    Yeah, slight buzz

    MEL

    Well let’s start the fire before we all take off.

    COUPLE

    Good idea

    They get the fire going, chat, sing

    Mel

    Oh Yeah, buzzing now! How bout you guys?

    TINA

    Right on!

    COUPLE

    Groovin

    MEL

    Hey I know, let’s crank up the 8track and put some blankets on the roof and stare at the stars!

    COUPLE

    Definitely!

    JIM (man from couple) gets his big speakers out of the van and sets them up in stereo formation. Soon the sounds of PINK FLOYD are floating up out of the van, they play Dark Side of the Moon over and over, everyone is on the roof, It’s magic and inspiring. Juliet is lost in the stars and suddenly sees a big arch form with the letters LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL floating above it and lots of smiley faces spill forth! She does a double take and looks around to the others, they are all into their own trip and Juliet sees Mel kissing Tina, Couple having a meeting of the minds and body, she feels all is right with the world. She heads off to bed, happily humming.

    end scene?

  • Rae Rodgers

    Member
    June 29, 2021 at 9:39 pm

    Rae’s Act 4 First Scenes

    What I got from this assignment is this script is turning into a movie, and I can’t wait to come up with the next few acts. Except, I ‘m out of town tonight for 2 days, so I will be lagging behind a little.

    EXT. OFFICE BUILDING/ THE STREET (LONG BEACH) – DAY

    Jesi drives the street looking for parking. She sees Gerard leaving through the glass doors, his arm around a pretty blonde WOMAN (25). He kisses her on the cheek, then looks over and locks eyes with Jesi. She takes off, Gerard running after her, until it’s no use.

    IN THE STREET

    Still running hard, Gerard drops his phone. It crashes on the pavement, completely broken.

    INT. JOHNSON HOME (DAY)

    Jesi had crashed and burned on her father’s recliner. After awhile she gets up, turns on Sinatra. The song is, “How Little it Matters.”

    ACT 4: KEY SCENE 1: REACTION TO 3RD ACT TURNING POINT

    INT. BEDROOM – NEXT MORNING

    Jesi wakes up in bed, turns off the alarm, reaches for her cell phone, hits Gerard’s number. She gets a voice message.

    JESI

    So, I catch you in the street two days ago kissing another woman and you still haven’t even called me back? We need to talk, Ger.

    She stays in bed, squashes a pillow over her head.

    TIME LAPSE

    Jesi gets up one hour later, calls Gerard’s office, gets his STAFF PERSON.

    JESI

    May I speak with Doctor Leblanc?

    (listens)

    Would you ask him to call Jesi as soon as he’s out of surgery?

    OFFICE MANAGER (O.S.)

    The doctor started surgery at 5 a.m. I’m unsure as to when he will be returning his calls.

    JESI

    I understand he starts surgery early. Would you please ask him to call Jesi?

    OFFICE MANAGER

    Jesi Johnson? This is the office manager Miss Parker here. Miss Johnson, I was about to call you regarding a payment on your father’s bill —

    JESI

    Miss Parker, I fully realize I’m behind, and need to send a payment. I’m sorry, I should’ve called and given you a heads up. I’m closing a very large sale next week, which will allow me to make a considerable payment on that debt.

    Now, please don’t forget to have the doctor call me.

    OFFICE MANAGER

    She kills the call, more upset, makes another call.

    JESI

    Hey Michael, any fires to put out?

    (listens)

    I can’t stay home, I feel like a fish out of water.

    (listens)

    How’s the doctor? The doctor is still an asshole.

    (listens)

    I’ll come in mid-morning.

    INT. PRIVATE OFFICE – DAY

    Jesi enters, sees Gizelle is thrown together, like she had a late night.

    JESI

    What the hell happened to you?

    GIZELLE

    Me? Don’t know what you mean?

    JESI

    Look at you, nothing matches. You look like you’ve been up all night. Who was it? Not him!

    POV

    Jesi glances to Henry’s office. He’s arriving late, looks disheveled.

    JESI

    Oh my God, you two got together.

    (off her nod)

    Wow, he didn’t waste much time.

    Michael enters, hears Jesi’s comment. All Gizelle can do is smile.

    MICHAEL

    (to Gizelle)

    You and Henry?

    (off her nod)

    All right. Good for you, babe.

    Jesi looks upset, like another of her options has been stymied. Jason knocks, pops his head inside the office.

    JASON

    Hey Jesi, can I see you in my office for a minute?

    JESI

    Sure, give me a few minutes.

    (to Gizelle, forces a smile)

    Did you spend the night?

    GIZELLE

    (grins)

    Yeah, I’m completely exhausted.

    JESI

    (forced smile)

    I told you, he’s hot. Hey guys, we’ve got a busy day, but first I need to have a word with Jason.

    (leaving)

    If Gerard happens to call, pull me out of the meeting — no matter what.

    INT. JASON’S OFFICE (CONTINUOUS)

    Jesi knocks and enters, sits down tentatively.

    JASON

    Well, is it true? That you’re now Mrs. Gerald Leblanc?

    JESI

    Where did you hear this?

    JASON

    News travels. Look Jesi, I can’t hold one standard for you and then be hard core on the others. For instance, Suze is doing deals now that her license came through, but our deal is, she is definitely staying single.

    JESI

    You can’t do this. It’s misogny, it’s full on “Me Too!” Besides, it’s freaking mediaeval and it’s against the law. What do you want me to do Jason, get an attorney? You know that’s not my style. Of course I’m not going to report you, but you know damn well I could go to the DRE with this, and you would lose your license, hands down.

    (tears start)

    Well anyway, it’s over. We are no longer married, and it wasn’t legal anyway. How the hell did you find out?

    JASON

    It can’t be over? He still loves you.

    JESI

    How the hell would you know?

    JASON

    He just called and told me so.

    JESI

    But, you don’t even know him!

    JASON

    Yeah, I do. My fifteen year old daughter Sara, babysits his kid.

    JESI

    His what! That’s insane. He has no kids.

    JASON

    Last time I checked he had a seven year old. His name’s Joey, great kid.

    JESI

    He lied to me.

    JASON

    You mean, he never told you he has a kid?

    JESI

    Oh my God — why would he withhold his boy from me? Why would he lie about something that damn important? I need some time Jason. I need time to sort things out. Right now I’m beyond busy, but it’s mainly escrow closings. I can delegate most of it to Michael.

    JASON

    Wait. Are you saying that you’re not really married? I’m confused.

    JESI

    There was a ceremony, that’s all.

    JASON

    If it’s a marriage, there usaully is. What did you say to each other in that ceremony?

    JESI

    Nothing. It meant nothing.

    JASON

    Last time I checked, the marriage vow means everything. Tell me if I’m overstepping.

    JESI

    All right — I said —

    (takes a long beat)

    Gerard, we’ve only been together three times, but I couldn’t be more sure of my love for you. I know now, that I have never loved before. You have my trust, my loyalty, my heart. You are my love, like no one has or ever will be.

    The room goes quiet.

    JASON

    And he said?

    JESI

    He said — I knew the first day we met, right after your Sinatra story. I was certain beyond words that you were the woman I would marry. Jesi, my heart is yours, tonight I give you all of me. Everything I have, from this day on, tomorrow, and forever. My entire life, I have never been as certain of anything. Jesi, will you be my wife?

    The room goes quiet. The verse is still in her head.

    JESI

    I guess I had the vows memorized, and didn’t realize it.

    JASON

    My friend, right there is your answer.

    JESI

    No, it’s not! Why would I marry such a liar?

    JASON

    Then let me call him, find out more about this kid of his.

    JESI

    Jason no, it’s not your problem.

    She leaves and rips back to her private office, grabs her purse, has one foot out the door. Calls out to Gizelle.

    JESI

    If any of my good old boys call or need anything tell them I’m on a sabbatical. On second thought, better not. I’ll be at home, need some down time.

    As she leaves Michael slip streams her down the hallway.

    MICHAEL

    Wait a minute, you’re not getting off that easy. What’s going on with the Doc?

    JESI

    He has a son! It’s for real. Jason just told me —

    MICHAEL

    How the hell would Jason know? All he lives for is real estate.

    JESI

    Ger called me and confessed he had a kid. That girl I saw him kissing was his niece. He wants me to meet his boy —

    MICHAEL

    Then do it! Go meet his son. I’m telling you, the doc is a good dude.

    JESI

    It’s the withhold I have a problem with. This was no small thing — I can’t do it, Michael.

    She leaves and shoots for the exit.

    KEY SCENE 2: PROTAGONIST FACES THEIR DILEMMA

    EXT./INT. JOHNSON HOME – DAY

    Jesi picks up the phone to IRS gent, ALBERT BOSS.

    ALBERT BOSS (V.O.)

    Is this Miss Johnson?

    JESI

    Yes, who is this?

    AGENT

    This is Albert Boss, Internal Revenue Service.

    JESI

    Oh God, no.

    ALBERT BOSS

    I have that number for you, Miss Johnson.

    JESI

    Are you guys negotiable, at all?

    ALBERT BOSS

    You’ll need to make an appointment to find out, Miss Johnson.

    JESI

    Then let’s set it up for next week. Preferably after 1pm.

    INTERCUT:

    INT. GERARD’S RESIDENCE (CONTINUOUS)

    Gerard adds Jesi’s number to his new cell phone and calls.

    When he calls, his phone translates as an unknown caller and so Jesi kills his call.

    ALBERT BOSS (V.O.)

    Then let’s say next Thursday, 1 pm.

    Gerard texts Jesi next.

    TEXT

    Jesi, it’s me Gerard. It’s a new phone, please call me.

    Jesi gapes at the text. Takes a minute, breathes, then punches the number.

    GERARD LEBLANC

    Jess, babe, please don’t hang up on me. I smashed my phone right after I saw you in the street.

    JESI

    Oh, you mean with the new girlfriend?

    GERRARD

    Jes, please can I see you. That was my niece yesterday.

    JESI

    Oh really. You want me to believe that? What about your son?

    GERRARD

    That was my mistake, and I deeply regret it. My boy is a gift, a treasure, and I want you to meet him.

    JESI

    You want me to meet your son —

    She disconnects from the call. Gerard calls right back. So does Michael.

    JESI

    Michael, anything wrong?

    MICHAEL

    Hey boss, I think you’d better come back in. The Schmidt deal in The Shores just fell out.

    Still running, Gerard drops his phone. It crashes into the street, completely broken.

    INT. JOHNSON HOME (DAY)

    Jesi had crashed and burned on her father’s recliner. After awhile she gets up, turns on Sinatra. The song is, “How Little it Matters.”

    ACT 4: KEY SCENE 1: REACTION TO 3RD ACT TURNING POINT

    INT. BEDROOM – NEXT MORNING

    Jesi wakes up in bed, turns off the alarm, reaches for her cell phone, hits Gerard’s number. She gets a voice message.

    JESI

    So, I catch you in the street two days ago kissing another woman and you still haven’t even called me back? We need to talk, Ger.

    She stays in bed, squashes a pillow over her head.

    TIME LAPSE

    Jesi gets up one hour later, calls Gerard’s office, gets his STAFF PERSON.

    JESI

    May I speak with Doctor Leblanc?

    (listens)

    Would you ask him to call Jesi as soon as he’s out of surgery?

    OFFICE MANAGER (O.S.)

    The doctor started surgery at 5 a.m. I’m unsure as to when he will be returning his calls.

    JESI

    I understand he starts surgery early. Would you please ask him to call Jesi?

    OFFICE MANAGER

    Jesi Johnson? This is the office manager Miss Parker here. Miss Johnson, I was about to call you regarding a payment on your father’s bill —

    JESI

    Miss Parker, I fully realize I’m behind, and need to send a payment. I’m sorry, I should’ve called and given you a heads up. I’m closing a very large sale next week, which will allow me to make a considerable payment on that debt.

    Now, please don’t forget to have the doctor call me.

    OFFICE MANAGER

    She kills the call, more upset, makes another call.

    JESI

    Hey Michael, any fires to put out?

    (listens)

    I can’t stay home, I feel like a fish out of water.

    (listens)

    How’s the doctor? The doctor is still an asshole.

    (listens)

    I’ll come in mid-morning.

    INT. PRIVATE OFFICE – DAY

    Jesi enters, sees Gizelle is thrown together, like she had a late night.

    JESI

    What the hell happened to you?

    GIZELLE

    Me? Don’t know what you mean?

    JESI

    Look at you, nothing matches. You look like you’ve been up all night. Who was it? Not him!

    POV

    Jesi glances to Henry’s office. He’s arriving late, looks disheveled.

    JESI

    Oh my God, you two got together.

    (off her nod)

    Wow, he didn’t waste much time.

    Michael enters, hears Jesi’s comment. All Gizelle can do is smile.

    MICHAEL

    (to Gizelle)

    You and Henry?

    (off her nod)

    All right. Good for you, babe.

    Jesi looks upset, like another of her options has been stymied. Jason knocks, pops his head inside the office.

    JASON

    Hey Jesi, can I see you in my office for a minute?

    JESI

    Sure, give me a few minutes.

    (to Gizelle, forces a smile)

    Did you spend the night?

    GIZELLE

    (grins)

    Yeah, I’m completely exhausted.

    JESI

    (forced smile)

    I told you, he’s hot. Hey guys, we’ve got a busy day, but first I need to have a word with Jason.

    (leaving)

    If Gerard happens to call, pull me out of the meeting — no matter what.

    INT. JASON’S OFFICE (CONTINUOUS)

    Jesi knocks and enters, sits down tentatively.

    JASON

    Well, is it true? That you’re now Mrs. Gerald Leblanc?

    JESI

    Where did you hear this?

    JASON

    News travels. Look Jesi, I can’t hold one standard for you and then be hard core on the others. For instance, Suze is doing deals now that her license came through, but our deal is, she is definitely staying single.

    JESI

    You can’t do this. It’s misogny, it’s full on “Me Too!” Besides, it’s freaking mediaeval and it’s against the law. What do you want me to do Jason, get an attorney? You know that’s not my style. Of course I’m not going to report you, but you know damn well I could go to the DRE with this, and you would lose your license, hands down.

    (tears start)

    Well anyway, it’s over. We are no longer married, and it wasn’t legal anyway. How the hell did you find out?

    JASON

    It can’t be over? He still loves you.

    JESI

    How the hell would you know?

    JASON

    He just called and told me so.

    JESI

    But, you don’t even know him!

    JASON

    Yeah, I do. My fifteen year old daughter Sara, babysits his kid.

    JESI

    His what! That’s insane. He has no kids.

    JASON

    Last time I checked he had a seven year old. His name’s Joey, great kid.

    JESI

    He lied to me.

    JASON

    You mean, he never told you he has a kid?

    JESI

    Oh my God — why would he withhold his boy from me? Why would he lie about something that damn important? I need some time Jason. I need time to sort things out. Right now I’m beyond busy, but it’s mainly escrow closings. I can delegate most of it to Michael.

    JASON

    Wait. Are you saying that you’re not really married? I’m confused.

    JESI

    There was a ceremony, that’s all.

    JASON

    If it’s a marriage, there usaully is. What did you say to each other in that ceremony?

    JESI

    Nothing. It meant nothing.

    JASON

    Last time I checked, the marriage vow means everything. Tell me if I’m overstepping.

    JESI

    All right — I said —

    (takes a long beat)

    Gerard, we’ve only been together three times, but I couldn’t be more sure of my love for you. I know now, that I have never loved before. You have my trust, my loyalty, my heart. You are my love, like no one has or ever will be.

    The room goes quiet.

    JASON

    And he said?

    JESI

    He said — I knew the first day we met, right after your Sinatra story. I was certain beyond words that you were the woman I would marry. Jesi, my heart is yours, tonight I give you all of me. Everything I have, from this day on, tomorrow, and forever. My entire life, I have never been as certain of anything. Jesi, will you be my wife?

    The room goes quiet. The verse is still in her head.

    JESI

    I guess I had the vows memorized, and didn’t realize it.

    JASON

    My friend, right there is your answer.

    JESI

    No, it’s not! Why would I marry such a liar?

    JASON

    Then let me call him, find out more about this kid of his.

    JESI

    Jason no, it’s not your problem.

    She leaves and rips back to her private office, grabs her purse, has one foot out the door. Calls out to Gizelle.

    JESI

    If any of my good old boys call or need anything tell them I’m on a sabbatical. On second thought, better not. I’ll be at home, need some down time.

    As she leaves Michael slip streams her down the hallway.

    MICHAEL

    Wait a minute, you’re not getting off that easy. What’s going on with the Doc?

    JESI

    He has a son! It’s for real. Jason just told me —

    MICHAEL

    How the hell would Jason know? All he lives for is real estate.

    JESI

    Ger called me and confessed he had a kid. That girl I saw him kissing was his niece. He wants me to meet his boy —

    MICHAEL

    Then do it! Go meet his son. I’m telling you, the doc is a good dude.

    JESI

    It’s the withhold I have a problem with. This was no small thing — I can’t do it, Michael.

    She leaves and shoots for the exit.

    KEY SCENE 2: PROTAGONIST FACES THEIR DILEMMA

    EXT./INT. JOHNSON HOME – DAY

    Jesi picks up the phone to IRS gent, ALBERT BOSS.

    ALBERT BOSS (V.O.)

    Is this Miss Johnson?

    JESI

    Yes, who is this?

    AGENT

    This is Albert Boss, Internal Revenue Service.

    JESI

    Oh God, no.

    ALBERT BOSS

    I have that number for you, Miss Johnson.

    JESI

    Are you guys negotiable, at all?

    ALBERT BOSS

    You’ll need to make an appointment to find out, Miss Johnson.

    JESI

    Then let’s set it up for next week. Preferably after 1pm.

    INTERCUT:

    INT. GERARD’S RESIDENCE (CONTINUOUS)

    Gerard adds Jesi’s number to his new cell phone and calls.

    When he calls, his phone translates as an unknown caller and so Jesi kills his call.

    ALBERT BOSS (V.O.)

    Then let’s say next Thursday, 1 pm.

    Gerard texts Jesi next.

    TEXT

    Jesi, it’s me Gerard. It’s a new phone, please call me.

    Jesi gapes at the text. Takes a minute, breathes, then punches the number.

    GERARD LEBLANC

    Jess, babe, please don’t hang up on me. I smashed my phone right after I saw you in the street.

    JESI

    Oh, you mean with the new girlfriend?

    GERRARD

    Jes, please can I see you. That was my niece yesterday.

    JESI

    Oh really. You want me to believe that? What about your son?

    GERRARD

    That was my mistake, and I deeply regret it. My boy is a gift, a treasure, and I want you to meet him.

    JESI

    You want me to meet your son —

    She disconnects from the call. Gerard calls right back. So does Michael.

    JESI

    Michael, anything wrong?

    MICHAEL

    Hey boss, I think you’d better come back in. The Schmidt deal in The Shores just fell out.

  • Donna Rankin

    Member
    June 30, 2021 at 12:04 pm

    Lesson 21

    What I learned doing this assignment:

    This is the is the set up for the end of the story.

    Outline Key Scene 1 and 2

    Key Scene 1: Reaction to 3<sup>rd</sup> Act Turning Point:

    Kendra confronts her mother over the past. She also feels betrayed by her brother who did not tell her their mother was alive. Kendra’s mother tells her she left the island to get medical treatment. While in the hospital she was detained and arrested by the FBI. Kendra only had one question for her mother after she relayed the story. Why didn’t she come forward and claim her children? She tells Kendra she wanted her and her brother to have a normal life.

    Key scene 2:

    The aliens are advancing on the safe house. Kendra wants to finish the journey to find Jackson. Her mother tells her it is too dangerous the city has fallen to the aliens. Kendra tells her she is not hiding anymore, and she will fight to keep what is left of her family together. Her mother insist that the little girl go up north with her. Kendra agrees and she leaves to find her brother.

  • mickey Gonzo

    Member
    June 30, 2021 at 3:48 pm

    M

    • This reply was modified 3 years, 10 months ago by  mickey Gonzo. Reason: notes:
  • Christi Falk

    Member
    July 1, 2021 at 6:50 am

    Christi’s Act 4 first scenes

    What I learned is altering the midpoint of the movie affected every single beat from then on. I also realized the Key 1 scene where the investigator calls and leaves his wife a long emotional voicemail was completely wrong. It took me 4 days of ruminating but I finally found the proper scene as quick as the examples!

    The Key moment #2 had to have the punch and staying power of holding the audiences interest while paying off the push and pull of the mystery for the detective. I also figured there needed to be a key piece of information relayed in that interrogation that would lead to the killer, I’m still working on what it is. Hopefully as I go forward into the next assignment, I’ll figure it out.

    Also, love the free classes, thank you! I especially enjoyed the ‘where do you see yourself’ question. I actually see myself getting money for scripts and being completely left out of the process at large. Of course they’d fire the writer. That’s why I want the money up front. It would be worse to stick around. My one and only experience on set as a writer/director (a film school night class) was to be blessed with a sociopathic crew member that did everything she could to ruin the shoot. People were too afraid to say anything to her. I no other occupation known to man would this behaviour be acceptable. Now that I’m older, I would correct that with the business end of a hockey stick.

    So, better for everyone if they just give me money and go away. Or, I’m waiting for the next generation after this one dies out.

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