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Post Day 21 Assignment Here
Reply to post your assignment.
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15 Replies
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Charles Ferrell’s Act 4 First Scenes
What I learned from doing this assignment is that I had to weave in more setup after Act 3 TP, to push my main character into a combined reaction and dilemma.
ACT 4
INT.EMERGENCY ROOM – SAME TIME
HITOMI NAKAMURA
Morning Mr. Jenkins, you have couple of bags of fluid in you. You should be feeling a little better.
MR. JENKINS
I am, thank you much better, sorry to be trouble again
HITOMI NAKAMURA
No trouble at all, you sound better and by the way, it’s ok this is kinda my job. So, can I ask you a question?
MR. JENKINS
Sure, I owe you that at least I imagine.
HITOMI NAKAMURA
When you came in last night you were mostly mumbling but at one point you called me Aiko?
Mr.Jenkins physically reacts to the name, pulls back slightly and appears uncomfortable.
HITOMI NAKAMURA
Is Aiko someone we can call for you? A friend, a family memb.
MR. JENKINS
(the normally respectful Jenkins, interrupts her) No, you can’t call her (looks away from the Dr. and is holding back tears)
HITOMI NAKAMURA
(confused) I don’t mean to upset you but you called me Aiko and talked about candy and said you were sorry. If its a loved one you lost, we have really good therapists I can get.
MR. JENKINS
I shouldn’t have said that name and I am sorry (tearing up a little more)
HITOMI NAKAMURA
No need to apologize for calling me the wrong name, when you were incoherent.
MR. JENKINS
No, I’m sorry, I need to apologize to you and your people
HITOMI NAKAMURA
My people? Sir, I’m from Seattle, I doubt you even know my family
MR. JENKINS
Not your family, your people, Japanese people. (he looks around the room)
HITOMI NAKAMURA
I’m really confused sir
MR. JENKINS
The box, I need the box
Hitomi gets up out of curiosity picks up the tattered old file box and sets it on the bed. He begins to rifle through papers and pulls out old pictures.
MR. JENKINS
I live down near the lake, well used to be in the forest before there was a lake. I used to hunt and when I couldn’t find game, I’d carry my old brownie and take pictures. Develop them myself at home, I did recon photography in the war.
HITOMI NAKAMURA
You don’t need to apologize for being in the War.
MR. JENKINS
No, let me finish. After I was discharged and sent home, I was hunting and found something in the woods. A camp, military prison camp. What I found was Japanese families being held there, this was after the war was over.
He hands her old photos taken from the brush but faintly showing Japanese families behind a large fence with razor wire and complex of buildings inside the fence line.
HITOMI NAKAMURA
I see (slowly flipping through photos)
MR. JENKINS
I became obsessed with it, returning, observing never seeing any prisoners being discharged to go home. I noticed one area near the fence line where the children would play in the dirt. So at night, I timed the guard patrol, snuck to the fence line and threw wrapped hard candy into the dirt area.
HITOMI NAKAMURA
That was thoughtful
MR. JENKINS
No, it was cowardly. I was willing to keep returning with candy and let that make me feel better (he starts to cry again and looks down at his hands) but not willing to take action.
HITOMI NAKAMURA
Did you say this was near the lake?
MR. JENKINS
Its dead in the middle of the lake, the deepest section. That shallow lake is a coverup!
HITOMI NAKAMURA
Do you mind if I borrow these? (holding up the pictures) It may not be too late for you to help.
MR. JENKINS
Keep them if it helps at all
INT.COFFEE SHOP – MID MORNING
Tattered and defeated, Duncan walks into the coffee shop alone, leaving a trail of dried mud behind him with the notices still crumpled in hand. He continues to read the notice and the waitress is taking longer than normal. She finally comes with two coffee cups only one has coffee in it.
DUNCAN SMALLS
I only need one
WAITRESS
You are gonna need two and I should bring you a broom also (pointing at the trail he left)
DUNCAN SMALLS
Sorry, I didn’t realize
WAITRESS
Oh well, I guess its ok
Hitomi comes flying through the front door of the coffee shop, the waitress sees her then turns and pours the other cup
WAITRESS
I told you so..(then walks away)
HITOMI NAKAMURA
I don’t know how but you were right (spreading the photographs out on the table) You look like hell, what happened?
DUNCAN SMALLS
(still in shock to see her, he slowly puts down the notice in his hand and looks at the photo’s)
Where did you get these?
HITOMI NAKAMURA
A patient, who is also a witness. You look like you lost a fight?
DUNCAN SMALLS
That I did, now I think I maybe winning this war. (he singles out one photo that shows a solider clearly in uniform) Who is this? I can almost read his name.
HITOMI NAKAMURA
I don’t know, I didn’t look that closely at them. I was just in shock that it all lined up with your dreams.
DUNCAN SMALLS
Wait, how did the waitress know you were coming?
HITOMI NAKAMURA
I treated her son last year for a football injury, we exchanged numbers then. I called and ask if she had seen you this morning.
Duncan takes a sip of coffee, while lost in thought and his swollen lip causes him to dribble.
DUNCAN SMALLS
How long will your patient be in the hospital?
HITOMI NAKAMURA
I don’t know that I have reason to keep him past today.
DUNCAN SMALLS
Can you make one up? Buy some time and can he have visitors, can you get him to talk about it to anyone else?
HITOMI NAKAMURA
I could probably keep him for observation for another day or two much more than that. I think at this point he is willing to talk, at least as a favor for me, why?
DUNCAN SMALLS
Its a stretch but I have an idea.
HITOMI NAKAMURA
I thought seeing these would give you, I don’t know something like closure, maybe write about it and get your job back and be done with the rest of the nonsense. Get your old life back.
DUNCAN SMALLS
(Duncan takes a beat, thinking deeply) This is so much bigger than my job or any thesis. I had time to think this morning. I have spent most of my life trying to somehow make my dead parents proud, spending the currency of my future to pay off a debt I thought I owed to my past. I don’t know if its the Universe, or destiny but I now have been given an opportunity, a purpose if you will, a chance to make a difference. Something bigger than myself.
HITOMI NAKAMURA
Wow, I have been waiting to meet this guy in front of me. So no, more
DUNCAN SMALLS
So, is your patient reliable?
HITOMI NAKAMURA
He is an elderly man with dementia, not exactly witness stand material if that’s what you mean.
DUNCAN SMALLS
Can you keep him for another 24 to 48 hours and if I send someone to talk to him, keep him in his right mind.
HITOMI NAKAMURA
I can keep him physically there and hydrated but no promises on being lucid.
DUNCAN SMALLS
Ok, do that, hold him, keep him alert and I’ll get someone over there to get his story
HITOMI NAKAMURA
Who are you sending?
DUNCAN SMALLS
I don’t know yet but I gotta go see some students.
He gathers up the photos and puts the one of the solider in his shirt pocket. Runs out of the coffee shop.
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Don Thompson’s Act 4 First Scenes
What I learned: The reaction to the turning point becomes clear as the final scenes unfold tragically.
EXT. HMS INDOMITABLE – DAY
The ship has been brought to a standstill near some rocky cliffs. The men have all been ordered on deck. They stand in two lines on either side of the deck, mid-ship.
The Captain, Seymour, and Radcliff all stand on the Quarter Deck looking out over the men.
BACK TO THE MEN
One sailor GRUMBLES to another.
SAILOR ONE
What the hell happened? Where’s Budd?
SAILOR TWO
And Claggart?
TAYLOR
Something’s up for sure.
BACK TO THE CAPTAIN
From the Quarter Deck, the Captain nods to Radcliff, who reads from a writ.
RADCLIFF
On this 24th day of August, 1797, by order of the Captain Edwin Fairfax Vere, one William Budd, Captain of the Foretop, is to be executed for the willful murder of a superior officer, John Claggart, Master-at-Arms. The execution will take place in front of all the men on this ship that they might know that the rule of law, and military law and justice, prevail on this ship and that such an event is the just and rational outcome of the actions of the accused.
The men all GRUMBLE among themselves. Some shout ‘No’ and ‘It can’t be’ and so on.
RADCLIFF
Order! Stand at attention!
EXT. BELOW QUARTER DECK
– STAIR TO THE BRIGA SAILOR holds Billy, who has his hands tied behind his back.
He walks with Billy toward the bow of the ship, where the hangman’s noose has been set.
The men all watch as Billy is walked toward the bow of the ship, to the forward mainmast, where the hangman’s rigging is set up.
As they approach the bow, Billy turns and SHOUTS to the Captain.
BILLY
God Bless Captain Vere!
Captain Vere, on hearing this, is overcome and retreats to the rear of the Quarter Deck.
BACK TO BILLY
A HANGMAN (25) puts the noose around Billy’s neck. Billy looks around to the crew, who all stare up to him, with some rubbing their eyes in tears. Danskar in particular is overwhelmed.
CLOSE: Danskar, as tears stream down his face. BACK TO BILLY
The Hangman pulls the lever to the device, and Billy is pulled up to the hanging position.
His legs twitch several times, then he is dead. Danskar walks up to where Billy is and looks up.
CUT TO:
POV: FROM WHERE BILLY IS, WE SEE DANSKAR LOOKING UP AND BILLY WITH TEARS STREAMING DOWN HIS FACE. THE IMAGE IS IDENTICAL TO BILLY’S DREAM.
Danskar looks up, shielding his eyes from the bright sunlight.
DANSKAR
Goodbye Billy Budd!!
SEVERAL DOZEN of the men, including Kinkaid, rush toward the Quater Deck angrily, SHOUTING at the Captain, Seymour and Radcliff: “Claggart deserved it” – “Why did you kill him?”, etc. The Officers are taken aback, but interrupted!
CUT TO:
EXT. BOW, SAME TIME
The Watchman calls out:
WATCHMAN
Captain! Enemy ship to immediate port!
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Lesson 21: Act 4 Begins
ASSIGNMENT
BG’s Act 4 First Scenes
What I learned doing this assignment is: I can’t believe it, the first draft is almost done! I never wrote in drafts before. I would start at the beginning and just hack at it, for months, years, as it grew and evolved into this humongous mess! So this is a first for me!
Outline Key Scene 1: Reaction to 3rd Act Turning Point.
BEGINNING: His friend’s abduction has caused Reporter to realize he needs a new plan.
MIDDLE: He brainstorms and decides staying as a waiter at The Club is no longer safe or useful.
END: He writes a letter to Billionaire, confessing and apologizing for working at his club under false pretenses.Outline Key Scene 2: Protagonist faces their Dilemma.
BEGINNING: He invites Hostess to lunch. They eat under some old trees to avoid satellite surveillance.
MIDDLE: Hostess tells him interagency chatter indicates Hacker is being interrogated at a desolate CIA safe house in the Scottish Moors.
END: Reporter decides to rescue him. He asks for Hostess’s help.Write Key Scene 1: Reaction to 3rd Act Turning Point.
INT. REPORTER’S ROOM – DIFFERENT CHEAP HOTEL – NIGHT
Reporter sits on the bed, propped against pillows, writing on a pad with a pencil.
ON THE PAD: Doodles, a decision tree, lists…
Reporter turns to a previous page and stares. We can see partially as he traces his assumptions with the pencil.
ON THE PAD: “Assumptions:
— Hacker almost certainly abducted by intelligence agencies.
— Almost certainly told them everything he knows.
— Didn’t know about listening device since I didn’t tell him.
— In fact, nobody knows, since Hostess removed it. ”
He puts down his pad and pencil and lies on his back, looking at the ceiling. Then, he gets up and moves to the desk. On it, there is stationary from his previous hotel. He starts writing — nice, legible handwriting.
We can see partially through his hand.
ON THE PAPER: “Dear Mr. Billionaire, I am writing to confess …”
REPORTER (VOICEOVER): Dear Mr. Billionaire, I am writing to confess and personally apologize to you. I entered your employ under false pretenses. I am a junior American reporter, eager to interview you. I mistakenly thought if I got a job at your club, I could get close to you and have a better chance of getting a scoop and advancing my career. —Write Key Scene 2: Protagonist faces their Dilemma.
INT. KITCHEN – THE CLUB – DAY
Reporter is surrounded by the staff.
REPORTER: I want to apologize to you all for leaving you in the lurch like this. I know how short-staffed you are and you have all been working double-time. But I just couldn’t stand deceiving you anymore. I’m a reporter. I joined the staff here to get a story. I thought if I were here, I would have a better chance of getting a scoop. I was wrong. I apologize. Today is my last day.
Staff rush toward him to say goodbye, some grabbing his hand, female employees hugging him.
WAITRESS: Oh Monsieur, must you leave?
Hugs and kisses all around as Hostess watches, looking like a woman whose carefully-laid plans had just crashed down.INT. CORRIDOR OUTSIDE KITCHEN – THE CLUB – DAY
Reporter catches up with Hostess walking away.
REPORTER (calling): Ms. Hostess! I wanted to apologize to you, too, and tender my resignation.
He pulls out an envelope from his pocket.
REPORTER: I also wrote to Mr. Billionaire and personally apologized.
(beat)
REPORTER: I wonder if you would allow me to invite you to lunch to make up for my conduct.EXT. PARK – DAY
Reporter and Hostess sit under a group of old trees, eating lunch.-
This reply was modified 3 years, 3 months ago by BG ERENGIL.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 3 months ago by BG ERENGIL.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 3 months ago by BG ERENGIL.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 3 months ago by
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Peter Birdsong’s Act 4 First Scenes
What I Learned: My story has evolved — and improved — so much during this process. Breaking down this final act has helped me “zoom out” and see the bigger picture before I write. This way of doing it has made the writing process so much easier for me.
TP 3 – LOW POINT:
Land Ho! They see land and realize the trip is soon over
Arriving at the marina her mother’s staff is waiting
The new boat owner takes over.
REACT to TP3:
Carly lays in her room thinking.
Her phone charges and she receives a slew of notifications. She ignores them
Leaving her phone she walks out.
Faces Dilemma:
She sits on a bench, wearing her sun hat, watching the sailboats in the marina.
A dock hand recognizes her and asked for help mooring a boat.
Being friendly, he asks her which boat is hers.
Int. Hotel room – day
Carly lays on her back in bed. Wrapped in a towel. Hair still wet. Staring at her COMPASS.
Laurel walks into the room, and hands her a note.
LAUREL
Here’s the wifi password.
CaRLY
My phone’s dead.
LAUREL
I’ll just set this over here, then.
Carly continues staring at her compass.
CARLY
Did he take the boat out?
Laurel walks over to the window overlooking the marina and pulls the shade aside.
LAUREL
Looks like it.
(beat)
Grant’s an experienced sailor. I’m sure Redeemer is in good hands.
Carly
It’s his boat.
LAUREL
Listen, I’ll be in a meeting for the next little while. They gave us a private conference room downstairs. So, if you need something…
Laurel looks at her. Carly doesn’t respond. Laurel heads for the door.
Laurel
Look. I’ve got you on a flight back home tomorrow. First class.
CaRLY
You aren’t coming?
LauREL
I’ve been asked to rally the troops in Oregon.
(beat)
It will only be a few days.
CaRLY
Back to normal, I guess.
LauREL
Back to normal. Yeah.
Laurel leaves and the door latches shut. Carly rotates the compass in her hand.
INT. HOTEL ROOM – MOMENTS LATER
Carly plugs in her phone, and lays it on a table.
INT. BAthroom – MOMENTS LATER
Carly, dressed casual for the islands, ties her hair back. She looks at her face in the mirror. She’s tan. She rubs her face, examining how it’s so different than before.
INT. HOTEL ROOM – MOMENTS LATER
DING. Carly walks to her phone. She swipes it open. 104 unread text messages. Her social media, even more notifications.
She looks at her phone blankly.
A sharp WHISTLE from outside draws her focus. She walks to the window and peeks out. She can see two dock hands working lines so close to her, as a large sailboat slips into the marina.
She watches lines being tossed and caught. The skipper expertly piloting the large vessel.
EXT. B.V.I. MARINA – DAY
Carly stands by looking at the new arrival. Much closer this time. The skipper, a white-haired man in his 50s, pops up from below. DONALD notices Carly, and waves a friendly hand.
Donald
How do you do?
CarLY
I was admiring your boat.
DonALD
Thank you! We’ve been all over together.
As Donald climbs out, shirtless and far more tan than Carly, a woman (50s) appears. This is KATH.
Kath
Hello!
CARLY
Hi. You’re American?
DONALD
Officially. Haven’t been to the states in—how long, Kath?
KATH
Oh gee. Not since the kid’s wedding last year.
CaRLY
You have kids?
Kath emerges. She dressed for summer, and looks as though she only ever dresses for summer. She relaxed. Her hair is sun kissed and allowed it’s freedom to do whatever it has a mind to do.
KaTH
All grown up sweetheart. It’s just Donald and I now.
Donald moves around the boat like an expert. No doubt he could walk it blindfolded. He stows line and cleans the deck.
KATH
What’s your name?
CARLY
Carly.
KaTH
Are you from here?
CARLY
Pittsburg.
KaTH
Oh. So vacationing?
CARLY
Not really. Is that a ketch?
Donald grins.
DOnALD
Are you a sailor?
CARLY
I-well, my mom and I, we sailed here, but I haven’t—
Kath
You are! Which boat is yours?
Carly hesitates.
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Patrick Downey – Act 4 First Scenes
What I learned doing this assignment is that’s it’s really hard to have a clever or smart ending to a movie. I’m an avid movie goer and the amount of bad endings to movies is ridiculous. It almost seems as though the writer or director just gave up and threw something out there to end it. Well, here I am writing and it’s difficult to come up with something new and different that hasn’t been done before. So, I kind of get it now.
Key Scene 1
3<sup>rd</sup> Act Turning Point: It’s the morning of the Superbowl and whatever thoughts everyone had about each other are about to play out, either in favor of good or evil. All the anxiety, nerves, and second guessing has been thrown out the window it is literally game time! May the best prepared team win!
The H.A.V.O.C. four have arrived at the office and are settling in for what is about to be the biggest game of their betting lives. Dardanos has his cocky look of confidence as usual and the O’ brothers have camped out on the opposite end of the room still very uneasy.
Key Scene 2
Dilemma: Cayman has so many moving parts and players in this game, it’s hard to know who to trust. There is also the factor that someone will make a last-minute change without his knowledge and that could jeopardize the whole operation. Remember, this plan is 2+ years in the making.
In order to pull this off, Cayman had to take his own money and place multiple bets in large amounts to skew the odds and the points favored. He took the money his mother had set aside for him plus her insurance policy payout and the offshore money his grandfather had been stashing away. Needless to say, between the two amounts it was a considerable amount of funds.
Reaction: Everyone is in place, the FBI, the H.A.V.O.C. four, and Cayman’s people. It will be a tense next few hours as the game goes on and all wait to play their part.
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Vic Valleau Lesson 21: ACT 4 BEGINS 2 KEY SCENES
What I learned: I get too impatient, lose momentum.
1. Key scene Reaction to 3<sup>rd</sup> act turning point of married in Las Vegas Wedding Chapel.
2. Key scene Pro faces dilemma to trust men or be lonely
JT rents a van with stolen credit card.
Runs out of gas. While they drive into homeless camp.
they pose as the police, terrorize a homeless camp, scare them away, steal their cardboard and dirty pillows.
Drive to gas station, trick slip another’s credit card into their pump, then return it.
EXT. VAN – NIGHT
VAN IS HOISTED UP BY WRECKER, TOWED WITH THEM SLEEPING IN IT. They roll to back, out door, in big bundle. In front of JT friends in circular drive of casino
His credit card was cancelled. Torn up, cut in half, taken away by bus boy in diner.
INT. ENTRANCE TO HIGH ROLLERS CRAPS TABLE – NIGHT
Guard asks everyone he doesn’t recognize to wait for computer scan which he flunks.
NANCY: Are you getting a divorce? I’M PSYCHIC.
JT: A divorce, right, I’m a lawyer.
GUARD: Don’t forget sir, minimum bet is $10,000.
NANCY: We don’t have $10,000.
He sushes her, flashes id. .
JT: Here’s my Lawyers card, worth more than a measely ten grand!
GUARD: How did you know? About my divorce?
We see him whispering to security guard: “Ill give you a free divorce if you let me in!
GUARD: How did you know?
JT: Yea, how do you know?
NANCY: I’M PSYCHIC
JT: Tan line around your wedding ring.
GUARD: Tan lines around my old wedding ring! I never noticed.
INT. HIGH ROLLERS CRAPS TABLE – CONTINUOUS.
CROUPIER: Le Fait du jour, gentlemen le fait du jour jour!
JT: What’s he saying: Fay do jar?
NANCY: No he says Le Fair de jour, make the day or place your bets now. Same as they say in Monte Carlo.
JY: How would you know?
NANCY: Rich husbands, rich cultured husbands, not hopeless gamblers like you!
JT: You’re a jink. Leave.
CROUPIER: Sir! Have the lady blow on your dice, good luck!
JT: (to Nancy) Well either you blow now or blow later in my hotel suite.
CROUPIER: No, You need it now, sir! Whole table is waiting!
Before she can blow on his dice, he shakes and rolls, loses.
SECURITY ESCORTS latches onto him. He holds dice.
CROUPIER: Please sir, give the dice back to the next gentleman who wants to win our grand prize $400k. Everyone gasps.
NANCY: That would buy a couple Teslas!
Security takes JT fighting, out.
NEXT GENTLEMAN: Please stay and blow on my … you know!
She stays, he wins, embraces her passionately. JT sulks out, cursing her under his breath.
Peeking thru the door, Elie and Elton see goings on. Protesting but failing, JT is whisked past them, held firmly by two guards..
Vic Valleau Lesson 21: Act 4 begins (Characteres dilemma is resolved)
Key scene 1 REACTION TO 3<sup>RD</sup> ACT TURNING POINT. What is her reaction? Takes easy way out!
ANNULMENT FOR HER IS EASY WAY OUT. SHE HAS JAILHOUSE LAWYER SO SIGNS PAPERS. SERVES HIM IN NEXT CELL.
BETTER SHE HAS BIG WINNER BAIL HER OUT, PAYS HIM BACK AND BAILS OUT JT WITH GAMBLING EARNINGS . USING STAKE OF NEVER TRUST A MAN, ALWAYS HAVE MONEY FOR RIDE HOME POCKET MONEY .
ALL FOUR AT CELEBLRATION PARTY IN THEIR HONOR BY BIG WINNER ALSO A LAWYER, KPUTS ON FOR NEWLEYWEDS ELTON AND ELIE! THE E’S!
BIG WINNER TELLS JT NANCY WANTS HIM TO PROMISE HE WILL QUIT GAMBLING.
GIVES JT $10,000 HE LOST IN LAST ROLL OF THE DICE.
JT: ASKS NANCY IF THE $$$$ MAKES HIM BETTER HUSBAND MATERIAL.
NANCY RESPONDS, I’LL THINK ABOUT IT AS THEY DRIVE INTO THE SUNSET BACK TO LA.
Nancy is in jail cell next to JT:
Rich benefactor gets her arrested as soliciting when she refused sex with him.
Nancy realizes MARRIAGE AND JT is not saving her, she’s on her own, so teams with winner of $50k.
She jumps ship which he points out.
She made a decision men are unreliableSO GO WITH THE HIGHEST BIDDER.
only to change her mind in the resolution.
Same as Good Will Hunting.
BEAT: Here dilemma and Choices: Lonelyness or trust a man.
BEGIN She Is in jail for soliciting with High roller, qwho lost it all again! .
Middle: He gets judge pro tem call from Chief Judge and out of jail, just clear up overload from weekends tourists. .
END: He releases her, but how, pleading her case, what does he demand? Agree to Annulment marriage before he can hear case!!!
She’s horrified!
Build dilemma, start with midpoint Marriage! where Were sorry Your Honor, please come this way to judge our overflow cases.
You mind if I clean up first?
He hears her case and lets her go but not before he demands she address him as your honor
ALTERNATE ENDING (s)
And show deference to the court. MeANING SHE LEARDNS TO TRUST A MAN AND TO SEE MEN ARE JUST AS FALABLE AS WOMEN WE SHARE OUR HUMANITY SO ALL IS FORGIVEN, OR OVERLOOKED.
Does she plead her case?
How have you seen the error of your ways?
I don’t know, have you?
Id love to answer that question later in private. Right now, IM the judge showing decorum and respecting justice.
Men are untrustworthy, but not all men, some are good men and some are bad just like everything else.
KEY SCENE 2 PROTAGONIST FACES TJHEOR DILEMMA
EdOES SHE TRUST JT OR SHOULD SHE?
DOESN’T NEED A ;MAN OR DOES SHE?
Three divorces and annulment. Should she trust men? Why does she decide to need a man,
If so does she hook up
How do we know her action is to need/trust a man?
Maybe when judge JT has his fate in her hands, she throws hers
elf on the mercy of the court?
Choice to trust is shown by her inviting him to home cooked dinner.
Big winner throws a party for them in Vegas
Big: Nancy wants you to quit gambling, you know right? Will you promise? If you promise her, Ill give you your $10k you lost back.
JT to Nancy Am I more attractive now that I have my money back?
Will you marry me again?
NANCY: Ill think about it.
Elton and Elie are kissing in the back seat on trip back from Vegas.
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Benito Selim’s Act 4 First Scenes
What I learned in this assignment is to use the turning point for the end of Act 3 to go directing into your final act. Keep the momentum up to deliver your climax.
ACT 4
EXT. ELLEN’S HOUSE- LATER
BEGINNING: Darryl tells Marcus the details of Karen’s death. Marcus is skeptical but listens to him.
MIDDLE: Darryl says even if he dies, he must find out who killed her. He tells Marcus to leave town for his safety just until this is over. Darryl cares for Marcus’s safety.
END: Marcus is hesitant, but leaves. Darryl reluctantly asks Detective Garnett for help at Ellen’s request. Garnett informs Darryl, he must stay behind and let the police the case. Darryl feels betrayed by Ellen, but she insists it’s for his safety.
TURNING POINT: Despite feeling like Ellen would encourage him to use his gift, she wanted to tell him to let the police handle it. Even though she believes Darryl, proving his innocence to law enforcement was more important than Darryl risking his life.
EXT. COLLEGE CAMPUS- DAY
BEGINNING: The next day Darryl decides to leave the campus and stay low while Detective Garnett investigates. He meets with Andrew, Gary, and Lorraine to give them the news that he was cleared as a suspect but doesn’t share anything further.
MIDDLE: Darryl’s friends ask him if has heard from Calvin. They state wanted to meet but wasn’t at the edit suite. Darryl declines and asks about Tina; he finds out she discharged herself and skipped town because she is scared.
END: Darryl is defeated and hurt in saying goodbye to his friends.
PLACEHOLDER: Darryl is done and not even Karen can convince him to pursue the case.
EXT. CAMPUS PARKING LOT- LATER
BEGINNING: Marcus who is leaving town as well informs Darryl that he received a message from Calvin, but was unable to reach him. The message states that Calvin found a Frat ring that was not Jeff’s.
MIDDLE: Darryl questions why he reached out to Marcus. Darryl realizes Marcus is the only one he can trust.
END: Darryl decides to stay, but makes Marcus promise not to tell anyone. Darryl exits the lot back to his dorm.
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Rebecca Jordan’s Act 4 Key Scenes, Lesson 21
What I learned from doing this assignment is that sticking to the outline is key. I had gotten myself into a tangle not sure what was where, again overthinking and second guessing. Then went back to my beat sheet, and low and behold, the answers were right there. No second guessing! Forward I march!
Act 4, Key Scene 1 – Reaction to Act 3 Turning Point
Beginning: After hearing from a Convalescent Home that her mom is residing there, Rachel is flooded with childhood memories that provoke anger, remorse and curiosity.
Middle: Rachel finally gets to confront her Mom.
End: But she arrives at the home only to find that it’s after visiting hour
EXT. CONVALESCENT HOME – EVENING
Rachel, 50’s, lands into a parking spot.
INT. TRUCK – CONTINUOUS
Takes out the pint.
Grunts.
Puts it back.
INT. CONVALESCENT HOME, RECEPTION – CONTINUOUS
Rachel looks around assessing the facility. Waits. Paces. Checks her phone.
Finally, RECEPTIONIST, 40’s, tired, returns. Hands Rachel some some papers.
RECEPTIONIST
Here you go. The room number is at the top of the page.
RACHEL
Thank you.
Rachel checks the different hallways.
RECEPTIONIST
Her room is that way. But you’ll have to come back tomorrow during visiting hours. Everyone’s in bed. Last rounds have been made. Etcetera.
RACHEL
Oh. Bummer.
Backs away from desk.
RACHEL
Thanks again.
RECEPTIONIST
You are welcome. Good night.
RACHEL
Good night. See you tomorrow then.
Receptionist glances up. And back to work.
Act 4, Key Scene 2 – Rachel faces her dilemma
Beginning: Rachel sneaks back into the home and finds her Mom in her room hooked up to various life support machines.
Middle: Rachel talks to her Mom who doesn’t respond. Rachel plays her guitar softly and sings hoping that it will rattle her Mom awake, even if it pisses her off.
End: Eleanor enters and reprimands Rachel for sneaking in after visiting hours. Then informs her that her mom has been unconscious for quite sometime and may not ever wake up.
INT. CONVALESCENT HOME – MOMENTS LATER
Nobody at reception.
Rachel 50’s with her guitar, sneaks down the hallway, ducking into the restroom to avoid being seen.
INT. CONVALESCENT HOME, HALLWAY – CONTINUOUS
Rachel pops out of the restroom. Looks both ways and continues on tip toes. Looks into rooms with open doors until she finds her Mom’s room number.
Takes a deep breath.
Disappears into the room.
INT. MOM’S ROOM – CONTINUOUS
Rachel let’s her breath out.
SOUND of machines breath, suction, beeps in rhythm with one another.
Rachel sees her Mom hooked up to machines.
Paralyzed with shock. Hot tears pour down her face.
Quiet guttural sobs. Tears flying from her face.
Rachel at a loss. Sits in the chair. Stares at her Mom for a long time.
Finally, Rachel forces herself to stop crying.
Steps close to her Mom to get a good look at her.
RACHEL
(whispers)
Mom? Hi Mom? You probably don’t want me here. That’s okay. You can stay sleeping.
Waits.
RACHEL
I came to tell you that Uncle Ben is dead… He’ killed himself… shot himself in the head.
Rachel takes her guitar out of its case and straps it over her shoulder.
She puts her ear up to the door and listens.
Then gets close to her mom.
RACHEL
How bout I sing for you. That ought to wake you up. Or at least make your nose wrinkle. You always hated when I sang. I always thought it was cause I was no good. I thought I’d never sing again. But I like to sing. I’m in a really good band.
Tunes up guitar.
RACHEL
I wrote you a song. Well a lot of them are about you. I guess. But this is my favorite.
Sighs.
RACHEL
I’m nervous and don’t even know if you can hear me. That’s crazy. … Okay. Here goes.
Strums the wrong chord.
RACHEL
Jeez. Come on. You’re not that girl anymore.
Rachel plays and sings softly to her Mom, accompanied by more tears.
Eleanor enters.
Rachel starts.
RACHEL
You scared me.
ELEANOR
Visiting hours are over.
RACHEL
I haven’t seen my mom in a really long time.
ELEANOR
She never mentioned having a daughter. And anyways, you can’t be making noise in here. It’s after bed time. // Everyone is asleep.
RACHEL
Wait. I recognize you.
ELEANOR
Yes, you’re the young lady who almost knocked me on my tush the other day.
RACHEL
Thank you for having them call me.
ELEANOR
Like i said, no mention of a daughter.
RACHEL
Do you know my mom? Your’e not the same eleanor I met when I was a kid?
ELEANOR
You need to go. You can come back during visiting hours if you want. It’s up to you. But she won’t even know you’re here. She’s been unconscious a long time.
RACHEL
Is she gonna wake up? Ever?
Eleanor shrugs.
ELEANOR
Visiting hours are long over. Dear.
RACHEL
So your’e not the same Eleanor —
Eleanor is gone.
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Robert Wood’s Act 4 First Scenes
What I learned is that my script continues to fall behind in overall page count. I think the first draft is going to be lucky to hit 75 pages, which is disappointing, and I put that on an inadequate amount of detail and development work done in the story development / beat sheet phase. But there’s nothing else to do at this point but keep pushing forward with what I’ve got…
EXT. BOAT ON WATER – RATTLESNAKE ISLAND – DAY
Young Bert panics, looks around to see if there are any other boats nearby.
The horizon is clear.
YOUNG BERT
Good, good…
Young Bert and Bert both race to the helm and kick the engine into high gear.
Matt is knocked backward into a seat.
The boat rapidly picks up speed, pulling away from Rattlesnake Island…
Matt struggles up against the boat’s momentum to get to Bert at the helm.
MATT
Bert! Bert!! Slow down! What the hell are you doing?
Matt reaches Bert and attempts to pull back on the throttle, but Bert resists.
MATT
Take it easy, Bert! Slow down!
Bert seems unresponsive, as if he can’t hear Matt.
MATT
What are you running away from? There’s no-one else out here for miles!
Matt grabs Bert’s shoulders and twists his body so they face each other.
MATT
Bert! Listen to me! It’s Matt!
Bert comes to his senses and releases his grip on the throttle.
Matt grabs the throttle and slows the boat.
MATT
It’s okay. It’s gonna be okay.
Bert collapses into a seat.
EXT. BOAT ON WATER – DAY
Matt consoles Bert as they drift on the lake.
BERT
I killed him.
MATT
It was an accident.
BERT
I’m afraid the outcome’s the same either way.
MATT
I don’t know how you’ve lived with this for forty years.
BERT
Don’t you think I haven’t struggled with this over the years? I’ve told myself I’m not guilty, but it doesn’t do any good — it doesn’t make it any better! It’s driven me crazy!
MATT
Yet you didn’t tell anyone… you didn’t confess…
BERT
You don’t know how many times I thought about calling the police and confessing what really went on… what really happened! I didn’t think I could take it anymore… But then what would it do? Where would it get me? Would it clear my conscience or just put me behind bars? And I had a family…
Matt nods encouragement.
BERT
I was panic-stricken. I felt like I was being sucked into a black hole, on the verge of breaking down and confessing…
MATT
But you didn’t.
BERT
Somehow, I came out the other side… The disappearance was never solved. Oh, the police searched for a while. I was interviewed, but things were different back then… And as the weeks went by and his body was never found, the investigation died out.
MATT
Simpler times.
BERT
Harris remains a missing person to this day… And now, the only person who knew the truth — well, until you now, of course — is losing his mind… And the mystery of what happened to Harris was going to disappear with my memory.
MATT
Did he have a family? They should know the truth–
BERT
Should they? What good would it do?
MATT
Closure.
BERT
It’s been forty years — that book was closed long ago.
MATT
And you lived with it.
BERT
Yeah… Yeah, I lived with it. I’m sure you’re wondering if I cheated on your mother again? Well, I didn’t. Never.
MATT
A one-time thing.
BERT
It didn’t have to be… But I kept my desires secret.
MATT
And never lived your authentic life.
BERT
What is that? We never talked like that back then. It just wasn’t done — not for most of us, and certainly not someone like me, with a family and a community… What was I going to do? No, there wasn’t a choice.
MATT
It could’ve been different for you and Harris.
BERT
Maybe now, sure… but not back then.
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Andrea Cabañas, ACT 4 First Scenes.
I learned that I had to add more tension to the turning point dialogue to make my protagonist realise how far she went to take the wrong decisions. I believe that now I have a feasible dilemma.
INT. KATRINA’S HOUSE – ZOE’S BEDROOM – DAY
Zoe SLAMS the door behind her and throws herself on the bed in tears.
KATRINA (O.S.)
Oi! Careful with the doors, lady!
Zoe turns around, yells with the face in the pillow, thinks about something.
She gets up and opens her drawer, takes all her clothes, looks for the packs of cocaine but doesn’t find them. She frowns.
Katrina opens the door, sees the mess.
KATRINA
What are you doing?
Zoe opens wide other drawers massing up a bit, rushes to the small table beside her bed, opens its drawer – nothing.
ZOE
Did you clean my room today?
KATRINA
Sure I did. It was a mess.
ZOE
How many times I told not to clean my room!
KATRINA
You calm down, lady! This is my house, and as long as you live here, I will clean your room wherever I want!
Zoe rushes to the window, stares at the outside and comes back.
ZOE
Did you go out today?
KATRINA
I went to the groceries.
Zoe paces.
ZOE
What time?
KATRINA
Around eleven a.m., why?
Zoe wonders for a moment, shakes her head.
ZOE
Nothing.
Zoe taps underneath her working desk.
KATRINA
What are you doing?
ZOE
I think someone broke into the house.
KATRINA
This is ridiculous. We never had this issue in the area.
Zoe finds something underneath her desk. She grunts and pulls a small device: a tinny microphone with tapes on it.
She stares at it in shock, raised eyebrows. Katrina mutters.
KATRINA
It wasn’t my fault.
Zoe stares at her.
ZOE
What did you do, Mom?
Katrina looks away, breaths deeply.
MOMENTS LATER
Katrina’s seated on the bed, shoulders crunched, hands between legs, red face. Zoe sits on the opposite side, facing her mother away. Heads down, nit biting her thumb.
After a moment of long silence, Katrina talks.
KATRINA
You were acting differently. You weren’t the same person anymore. When I found the drug, I got desperate.
ZOE
And called the police!
KATRINA
I never trusted this Paula, so I did what I did. They were looking after someone connected to her. I just helped them find her.
ZOE
Through me.
Zoe scoffs, looks away.
ZOE
Paula has nothing to do with it.
Katrina turns to Zoe.
KATRINA
Oh, really! So tell me, since when did you start to sleep with women? And where does this drug come from? They said she had connections to a drug dealer. And now you’re addicted.
(to herself)
I knew I had to talk to your father. Shame on you!
Zoe leaps to her feet and faces her mother, who stares at her defiant.
ZOE
You don’t have a clue about what’s going on in my life. But be sure you made things worse now.
She storms out of the bedroom. Katrina motions to follow Zoe but hesitate. She paces around the room, her hand close to her mouth, breathing rapidly. She shouts in the door direction.
KATRINA
I did this… Because I love you.
Katrina sobs.
EXT. KATRINA’S HOUSE – FRONTYARD – DAY – CONTINUOUS
Zoe rages, dashes through the door and stops in the middle of the front yard; veins bulge from her neck.
She looks around, sees a car parked in the distance; a MAN (40s) watches her. She stares at him and mouths “FUCK YOU”, and sprints.
EXT. STREETS – DAY – CONTINUOUS
Zoe runs aimlessly, cries, crosses streets, not paying attention to cars or pedestrians. She stops in a small
PARK
Full of trees and a dog park nearby. She stops under a tree, leans back and wipes the sweat off her face. Zoe recovers her breath, looks sideways, crunches and sobs like a child.
Out of nowhere, a SMALL DOG approaches her and sits at her side. She looks up, and he stares at her, wags his tail and licks her face. Zoe giggles and cuddles the dog.
LORNA (25), casual clothes, approaches.
LORNA
So sorry about that. Jack, come! Come on, boy.
Zoe wipes her face and smiles.
ZOE
That’s okay. Good boy, Jack.
Jack returns to his owner, Zoe stare at them. She reaches for her phone, takes a deep breath and makes a phone call.
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Vic Valleau Lesson 21: Act 4 begins
What I learned: I love writing, especially being productive, following the key turning points.
Key scene 1 REACTION TO 3<sup>RD</sup> ACT TURNING POINT. What is her reaction? Takes easy way out!
ANNULMENT FOR HER IS EASY WAY OUT. SHE HAS JAILHOUSE LAWYER SO SIGNS PAPERS. SERVES HIM IN NEXT CELL.
BETTER SHE HAS BIG WINNER BAIL HER OUT, PAYS HIM BACK AND BAILS OUT JT WITH GAMBLING EARNINGS . USING STAKE OF NEVER TRUST A MAN, ALWAYS HAVE MONEY FOR RIDE HOME POCKET MONEY .
ALL FOUR AT CELEBLRATION PARTY IN THEIR HONOR BY BIG WINNER ALSO A LAWYER, KPUTS ON FOR NEWLEYWEDS ELTON AND ELIE! THE E’S!
BIG WINNER TELLS JT NANCY WANTS HIM TO PROMISE HE WILL QUIT GAMBLING.
GIVES JT $10,000 HE LOST IN LAST ROLL OF THE DICE.
JT: ASKS NANCY IF THE $$$$ MAKES HIM BETTER HUSBAND MATERIAL.
NANCY RESPONDS, I’LL THINK ABOUT IT AS THEY DRIVE INTO THE SUNSET BACK TO LA.
Nancy is in jail cell next to JT:
Rich benefactor gets her arrested as soliciting when she refused sex with him.
Nancy realizes MARRIAGE AND JT is not saving her, she’s on her own, so teams with winner of $50k.
She jumps ship which he points out.
She made a decision men are unreliableSO GO WITH THE HIGHEST BIDDER.
only to change her mind in the resolution.
Same as Good Will Hunting.
BEAT: Here dilemma and Choices: Lonelyness or trust a man.
BEGIN She Is in jail for soliciting with High roller, qwho lost it all again! .
Middle: He gets judge pro tem call from Chief Judge and out of jail, just clear up overload from weekends tourists. .
END: He releases her, but how, pleading her case, what does he demand? Agree to Annulment marriage before he can hear case!!!
She’s horrified!
Build dilemma, start with midpoint Marriage! where Were sorry Your Honor, please come this way to judge our overflow cases.
You mind if I clean up first?
He hears her case and lets her go but not before he demands she address him as your honor
ALTERNATE ENDING (s)
And show deference to the court. MeANING SHE LEARDNS TO TRUST A MAN AND TO SEE MEN ARE JUST AS FALABLE AS WOMEN WE SHARE OUR HUMANITY SO ALL IS FORGIVEN, OR OVERLOOKED.
Does she plead her case?
How have you seen the error of your ways?
I don’t know, have you?
Id love to answer that question later in private. Right now, IM the judge showing decorum and respecting justice.
Men are untrustworthy, but not all men, some are good men and some are bad just like everything else.
Vic Valleau ACT 4
ACT 4 KEY SCENE 2
PROTAGONIST FACES THEiR DILEMMA
Should SHE TRUST JT?
DOESN’T NEED A MAN, OR DOES SHE?
Three divorces and annulment. Should she trust men? Why does she decide to need a man,
If so does she hook up
How do we know her action is to need/trust a man?
Choice to trust is shown by her inviting him to home cooked dinner.
Big winner throws a party for them in Vegas
Big: Nancy wants you to quit gambling, you know right? Will you promise? If you promise her, Ill give you your $10k you lost back.
JT to Nancy Am I more attractive now that I have my money back?
Will you marry me again?
NANCY: Ill think about it.
Elton and Elie are kissing in the back seat on trip back from Vegas.
ACT 4 LESSON 21
What are you thinking about?
Men, are they worth it?
JT: For a woman, you mean?
NANCY: Im a three time loser in love, I know, still young and beautiful, man bait, a hot chick, hot stuff. I could go on but do I have the right stuff to keep a man.
JT: You could keep me, I like you, every way, even your bad mon and you got a lotta bad mon! Lets get married again!
NANCY: Men are better married and women are better single. Who said that?
JT: What does better mean?
NANCY: You get married and Ill stay bored and single, how about that? Maybe we could create another form of marriage, where we both would be happy. What’s important to me? Cuddling, if the truth be told, ask any woman. We can share a bed. Do you like to cuddle?
JT: sounds good to me.
NANCY: Baby steps, right baby steps, not babies but maybe.
JT: Women are the boss in the home, I respect a women who knows that. No feet on the furniture, no farting, pick up after yourself.
NANCY: Keep talking! Ill give you an audition with home cooked dinner at my house. Bring flowers and show up on time!
JY: Yes maam!
NANCY: I like to boss my men around a little, at first. That way I can pretend I’m a strong, assertive independent woman. Just Know I’m playing.
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INT. LAKE HOUSE 4 – EVENING
BEGIN MONTAGE:
– IVY hands HOLLY an armload of stuffed toys
– NICK hands RUDY a remote start, points to the stairs
– Ivy brings Holly heavy glass art objects
– Nick coils extra Christmas lights on one side of a doorway, the cord draped across the floor.
– Holly sews shut a stuffed animal with a glass object in it.
– Ivy perches heavy stuffed animals around the house’s surfaces.
– Rudy removes all of the big knives from kitchen drawers. Puts one or two under pillows on a bed, on a window sill, under the tablecloth in the dining room.
– Ivy puts the steam iron under the edge of a curtain in the living room.
– Rudy puts a can of bug spray under a bed, then distributes more of Holly’s stuffed animals in strategic locations.
EXT. LAKE HOUSE 4 – EVENING
Holiday decorations are turned into tripping hazards, shock generators, projectile throwers from the roof, etc.
– IVY has a reel of heavy fishing line in hand
– NICK is putting landscaping bricks in his Santa sack
– Nick pours water on the front steps a little at a time so it freezes
– Ivy ties fishing line around a brick and passes it to Nick who is on the porch roof. Nick sets the brick near the edge of the roof, sets two more bricks on each. Ivy leaves a long string of fishing line from each.
– Nick finishes setting the extra bricks on the porch roof
– Ivy ties a length of fishing line between the stakes of blow up Santas on either side of the walk.
– Nick pours some water along the walkway on the side of the house.
– Ivy ties the strings from the brick to the line across the sidewalk, pulling it high and taut, so the bricks will fall if someone trips on the line.
INT. LAKE HOUSE 4 TOY GARAGE – EVENING
– Nick sets up a remote control starter for a JetSki to use to lure someone down to the garage.
– Ivy sets up booby traps/tripping hazards on the stairs using the fishing line
– Nick spots a snowmobile under a tarp in the back of the toy garage. He leaves it covered.
END MONTAGE
At the base of the booby-trapped steps, Nick stops Ivy for a serious discussion.
NICK
Ivy, before we go up, I think we should talk about who’s outside and who’s in when we start this.
IVY
What do you mean?
NICK
I mean, one of us has to be willing to throw himself, or herself, on a grenade if these guys overpower us. We know that Blitzenkreig is an assassin, not a kidnapper.
Ivy swallows hard, considers. She steps onto the first stair, turns. They are eye to eye.
IVY
I know that I’ve stopped a bullet for them before. I think you have too.
Nick looks into her eyes, considers, eyes lingering a bit too long.
NICK
I don’t want to see anything happen to you…or obviously, to them.
IVY
Nick, what are we really talking about?
NICK
I don’t know. Maybe nothing. Maybe neither of us makes it out alive. Maybe all of us do.
She looks at him quizzically.
NICK
All I know is I want you safe, no matter what.
IVY
So?
NICK
So I have a gun, but only one bullet.
He flinches, she considers.
NICK
In my go bag upstairs.
She realizes what it must have been for. Grabs him by the shirt and pulls him up close, menacing, demanding, determined.
IVY
Don’t you ever do that to me…Ever. Do you understand?
He realizes she may be saying she cares about him. A glimmer of hope in his eyes.
NICK
No, no, I would never.
NICK
I could never…do that to Grizzly, you know, that would be horrible for her. She’d think she’d failed and Grizzly is not a failure. She’s kept me safe so many times. I could never hurt her that way…ever.
Ivy kisses his cheek softly.
IVY
Then don’t. You’ve got better boots than I do, so you start outside. I’ll save that one bullet for the last possible moment.
NICK
You’d better…you have to. You and Grizzly…
He can’t finish.
She sniffs back a tear, puts one hand on his shoulder, squeezes.
Then she turns and picks her way upstairs through the booby traps. He follows, a slight smile playing around his lips.
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TIM’S ACT 4 FIRST SCENES – DAY 21
What I learned doing this assignment is the importance of the Old Ways-to-New Ways transformation in determining how the protagonist reacts to disaster.
Key Scene 1: Duke’s Reaction to 3<sup>rd</sup> Act Turning Point:
Duke is desperate to avoid the dog pound and devastated that he failed Sunny and Emma. He runs away, all the way home to Bob, in some crazy hope that he’d be welcomed home. When he gets there, he sees Bob’s wife and daughter playing with a new puppy dog. He’s been replaced and can’t go home.
Key Scene 2: Duke faces his dilemma:
Does Duke run farther away to live alone or does he return to fix the mess he left behind. He’s always been passive and a bit selfish, but now he feels compassion for Emma and Sunny, and a need to help them, while settling scores with Rex.
Ext. TOWN – DAY
Duke runs through town.
He continues at full speed along the edge of the woods.
Finally he arrives on the hill overlooking Bob’s house. He pauses to catch him breath.
He’s not sure why he’s even there. Perhaps a last ditch attempt to save himself by going home.
In the backyard, he sees Bob cooking at the grill.
Nearby, Karen and Madison are playing with a cute puppy.
They all look so happy. Duke is devastated.
His face transforms from hopeless to determined. He has the look of a dog on a mission.
He turns and struts away, heading back to town.
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<div>Dana’s Act 4 First Scenes</div><div>
I’m almost home.
</div>
What have I learned from this assignment?
This assignment forced me to envision the climax I didn’t envision, even during the outlining phase. I had to come up with a great ending and putting my protagonists in the hands of the antagonists to face their final dilemma forced me to reconsider my climax and write additional scene for my 3<sup>rd</sup> Act Turning point. But know I have it!
Dilemma: Jack’s daughter is kidnapped by Hill and his goons. He threatens to kill her if Jack and Frank don’t sacrifice themselves and turn over the missing hard drive.
Key Scene 1: Reaction to 3<sup>rd</sup> Act Turning Point
BEGINNING: Jack and Frank return to the Russian Social Club. Oksana allows them to select weapons and offers to help, but she cannot intervene due to politics with the other families. What’s the plan? Frank asks if Oksana has C-4?
MIDDLE: They get the call from Hill. They agree to meet at an abandoned steel mill. Jack and Frank know it’s a trap. Jack warns Hill they know who he is and that they know the governor is the father of Marcus Jones. If the daughter is killed, it all gets exposed.
END: Frank and Oksana say their goodbyes. Their relationship was business, but they have true affection for each other. Okasan gives the order, and everyone loads into her limousine.
Key Scene 2: Protagonist faces their Dilemma
BEGINNING: Oksana’s limousine arrives at the abandoned steel mill. Oksana’s team steps out with their automatic weapons. Jack and Frank next. Oksana last. Hill is on the other side with Simon and his team. They have Jack’s daughter with them, her head covered.
MIDDLE: Hill and Jack present themselves and show the hard drive. Hill removes the cover from Bridget to show the girl is okay. They release her, and Oksana calls to the girl, telling her she’s going to take her home to her mother. Bridget starts slow, then runs right to Oksana passed her father. Jack looks at her, knowing he will never know his daughter.
END: Oksana puts the girl in the car, gives Frank one last glance, then she and her team leave in the limousine. Jack and Frank surrender to Hill and his team with the hard drive.
EXT. ABANDONED STEEL MILL – NIGHT
Dark and shadowed, the spires reaching into the night.
From a distance, headlights turn onto the grounds, and a car snakes through the skeletal remains of the abandoned mill.
Simon’s Mercedes rolls slowly between the structures.
EXT. TRAILER OFFICE – CONTINUOUS
It’s weathered but newer than the mill, tucked away among the shadows. Lights inside are on. A sedan and a truck are parked outside.
Headlights flash over the building. The Mercedes rolls up and parks.
Simon climbs from his Mercedes. He scans his surroundings, cautious, and heads inside.
INT. TRAILER OFFICE – CONTINUOUS
Bosch and Loam sit on a couch. Hill sits behind the desk at the far end. They hear someone coming. Bosch and Loam reach for their holsters.
Hill stands and waves them off, heading for the door.
HILL
Relax.
Simon enters, calm, cool. He spies the two men on the couch and instantly judges them as no threat.
HILL (CONT’D)
(to Simon)
Where the hell have you been? I’ve been trying to call you.
SIMON
(judging the trailer)
Is this your pied-à-terre?
HILL
It belongs to a friend. He let’s me use it from time to time.
SIMON
Why am I here?
Hill moves to a door and pushes it open. Simon takes a step closer and looks into the room.
Bridget Donovan is curled up on a cot, tied, her head covered by a black hood. Simon seethes at the sight of her.
HILL
Donovan’s ex-wife’s kid. It’s been arranged. While you’ve been dickin’ around, I’ve been earning my keep.
Simon remains cool.
SIMON
I didn’t agree to this. I don’t kidnap children.
Hill slams the door closed, pissed.
HILL
Yeah? Well, from where I sit, Mr. Hitman, you don’t seem do much of anything. Maybe we don’t need you at all. Maybe we never did.
Simon looks over the sullen faces of Bosch and Loam, figuring the situation, then back at Hill.
SIMON
What’s your play?
HILL
Donovan and Valentino and the hard drive for the girl.
SIMON
And then what? They’re just going to walk in here and let you shoot them?
Simon half laughs, incredulous.
SIMON (CONT’D)
You don’t get it, do you? That’s not Donovan’s ex-wife’s kid. That’s Donovan’s kid. She’s his daughter.
Hill goes white. Bosch and Loam exchange fearful looks.
SIMON (CONT’D)
You fucking idiots.
HILL
Yeah? Well — even better. She’ll guarantee they show up.
SIMON
What happens after? What if her parents call the police and she tells her story?
HILL
They know better. And she didn’t see a thing. A bag over her head and in the car.
SIMON
She’s heard your voices.
HILL
Then maybe mommy and daddy will have an accident, too.
SIMON
Another Douglas Hill special? No wonder my client called me in.
HILL
(insulted)
Yeah?
Hill grabs a ski mask off a table.
HILL (CONT’D)
(to Bosch an Loam)
Masks!
Hill pulls his mask on and waits for Bosch and Loam to do the same. Hill gives Simon one last stare, then bursts into the side room.
INT. ROOM – CONTINUOUS
Hill grabs Heidi off the cot. She YELPS, frightened. Hill stands her on her feet and walks her into —
INT. TRAILER OFFICE – CONTINUOUS
Hill stands her in front of Simon and yanks off her hood. Heidi blinks her eyes, adjusting to the sudden light. She look directly at Simon, scared to death.
HILL
There. Now she knows your face. And that puts you in the same boat with us, doesn’t it, Mr. Hitman?
Simon gazes down at Heidi with regret and compassion for the girl. His eyes roll up to Hill. But there’s no compassion for Hill.
CUT TO:
INT. RUSSIAN SOCIAL CLUB – NIGHT
Oksana relaxes in a high-back chair, steeping her tea on the table beside her. She’s watching Jack pace. Pissed. Anxious.
OKSANA
You understand I can only help you so far. I cannot intercede on your behalf. Newbaum belongs to another family.
Jack stops, faces her.
JACK
Politics is politics.
OKSANA
Yes.
Jack looks at Frank, seated at a table savoring a whiskey.
Oksana’s cell phone RINGS. She looks at the number before she answers.
OKSANA (CONT’D)
Yes?
She extends the phone to Jack.
JACK
Donovan?
INT. TRAILER OFFICE – CONTINUOUS
Hill sits at the desk in the half light from the lamp.
HILL
I didn’t know she was your daughter when I grabbed her. But now that I do, it makes our business that much more interesting, don’t you think?
INTERCUT CONVERSATION
JACK
One hair, you fuck. One hair, and I’ll make sure suffer before you die.
HILL
From your grave? I don’t believe in ghosts.
JACK
You should. Because I intend to haunt you to the gates of hell — Douglas.
Hill’s breath is suddenly stolen.
Oksana and Frank exchange glances, concerned Jack identified Douglas by name.
JACK (CONT’D)
Douglas Hill. Head of security for Governor Newbaum. AG investigator on the Marcus Jones case. You soiled the sheets on that one, didn’t you? You turned off the cameras in the holding cells, but you forgot about the camera in the security station. You should have been a movie star. The camera loves you.
HILL
I want the hard drive.
JACK
I can hear that in your voice.
HILL
Copies?
JACK
That’s something you’re always going to wonder about. But as long as nothing bad ever happens to my daughter, you don’t have to worry. But if something does happen, if she disappears one day, if she has an accident, falls off her bike and skins her knee, anything — well, what do you think the governor’s friends will do to protect their investment?
HILL
You, your partner, the hard drive. One hour. The abandoned steel mill on the edge of town. Don’t be late.
Hill hangs up.
INT. RUSSIAN SOCIAL CLUB – CONTINUOUS
Jack hands Oksana her phone.
OKSANA
That was impressive — and a little reckless.
JACK
Bluff is all I have.
OKSANA
Let’s hope he doesn’t call you on it.
JACK
Can you ensure my daughter’s safety? Make sure she gets back to her mother?
OKSANA
I can. But what’s your plan.
JACK
Kill’em all.
OKSANA
That’s a good plan. But how do you intend to do it once you surrender?
Frank gulps his whiskey.
FRANK
(to Oksana)
You have any C-4 laying around?
Oksana looks to Frank, then to Jack, ponders the question — maybe — and sips her tea.
CUT TO:
INT. FACTORY BUILDING – ABANDONED STEEL MILL – NIGHT
Hill, Bosch, Loam, Simon, and Heidi stand beside the Ford sedan, hidden behind the headlights that signal the exchange.
They wear ski masks and carry automatic weapons, everyone but Simon, who stands behind Heidi, almost protecting her from the others.
Heidi’s head is still covered by a hood.
Headlights flash at the opposite end of the open factory and a limousine turns in and drives slowly toward the group.
HILL
Get ready.
Automatic weapons are COCKED.
The limousine drives up and stops a good distance from Hill’s group. The headlights remain on.
The ground between the cars is lit for the exchange. The rest of the factory is in shadows.
The limousine doors open. Jack and Frank step out, followed by four Russians with automatic weapons who assume defensive positions just behind the light.
Oksana slides out from the back seat.
Hill watches the far group carefully.
Simon narrows his eyes, trying to see through the lights.
Oksana looks to Jack and nods. She then looks to Frank, maybe for the last time. Frank smiles. She puts a hand to his face. It’s a tender moment for them.
HILL (CONT’D)
Get on with it.
Oksana nods, and Jack and Frank step into the light. They’re both strapped. Jack with the magnum; Frank with the .45 auto. They raise their hands. Jack holds up the hard disk.
HILL (CONT’D)
That’s far enough.
JACK
Where my —
(catching himself)
Where’s Heidi?
Hill looks to Simon.
Simon removes Heidi’s mask. She blinks terribly, her eyes adjusting to the blinding lights.
SIMON
Okay, honey. Walk toward those two men. And don’t look back.
Heidi starts to walk, fearful, her steps short and hesitant. She moves into the light.
Jack now sees her.
JACK
C’mon, Heidi. It’s okay. Keep coming.
HILL
Start walking. Keep your hands up.
Jack and Frank start toward Hill’s group.
Heidi still hesitates, scared.
JACK
It’s okay, Heidi. Don’t be scared. I’m your —
Frank looks to Jack, concerned he’s about to tell Heidi the truth.
JACK (CONT’D)
I’m your —
(beat)
I’m a friend of your mother’s. We’re hear to take you home.
HILL
Heartwarming. Let’s go.
JACK
Oksana?
Oksana steps into the light and opens her arms.
OKSANA
Come, Heidi. Momma’s waiting for you.
Heidi, seeing a woman, walks faster, then faster. Then she runs.
Jack watches his daughter run passed him. He stops to watch as Heidi runs into Oksana’s arms. This is the closest he’s going to come to his daughter. It’s written on his face. His eyes tearing.
Oksana puts Heidi in the back of the limousine. She looks up at Frank one last time.
OKSANA (CONT’D)
Pupsick…?
Frank winks back at her, even though he can barely see her.
Oksana gets in the limousine. Her men climb in after her.
Jack and Frank resume walking toward Hill.
The limousine backs out of the factory slowly.
HILL
Close enough.
Jack and Frank stop.
HILL (CONT’D)
On your knees. Let’s go.
Jack and Frank drop to their knees. Bosch and Loam strip their weapons. Bosch takes the hard drive from Jack and hands it to Hill.
The limousine backs out of the factory, turns and drives off.
Jack watches the limo with his daughter leave as he and Frank are handcuffed, their arms twisted behind their backs.
Jack and Frank stood up and walked to the sedan.
CUT TO:
-
Lori’s Act 4 First Scenes
Key Scene 1:
Beginning: Thomas goes to the sanctuary to pray.
Middle: Miriam and John pray for Thomas at their homes.
End: He falls asleep at the altar.
Key Scene 2:
Beginning: Thomas awakens beside the church alter.
Middle: He is confronted.
End: He leaves to talk to his wife’s killer.
INT. CHURCH – NIGHT
Thomas walks to the sanctuary that is now dimly lit.
He walks to the front of the stage and kneels at the altar.
He bows his head quietly for a moment and then looks up at the cross.
THOMAS
God, tell me what to do. I can’t keep on like this.
Thomas bows again in prayer.
INT. JOHN’S HOUSE – NIGHT
John is praying.
INT. MIRIAM’S HOUSE – NIGHT
Miriam is praying.
INT. CHURCH – NEXT MORNING
Thomas is still at the altar but asleep. He wakes to the side door CREAKING open.
Shirley enters and sees Thomas lying at the alter in a disheveled appearance.
SHIRLEY
Thomas!
Shirley hurries toward him.
Thomas is slow to stand and seems to hurt all over.
THOMAS
It’s okay. I’m alright. I’m just getting old.
SHIRLEY
I’m older than you.
Thomas smiles wearily.
THOMAS
I’m okay.
Thomas makes his way to the door, and on the way out,
THOMAS
Have a good day, Shirley.
Shirley ponders his leaving.
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