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Post Day 27 Assignment Here
Posted by cheryl croasmun on January 3, 2022 at 5:04 amReply to post your assignment.
Lori Lance replied 3 years ago 13 Members · 12 Replies -
12 Replies
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Don Thompson solved scene problems
What I learned: scene problems are another key element to include in a re-write list. Including this and other elements, such as dealing with character and structure problems, provide a comprehensive plan for an initial re-write.
The current draft is 85 pages, derived from an approximately 80-page initial draft. The current 85-page draft is the basis for the next re-write and allows me to flag the course as complete, although admittedly there is more work to do.
Various issues dealt with in the current rewrite:
1. Scene and structure – addressed weak elements in some scenes, added scenes to strengthen the plot and character.
2. Character – dealt with issues that made the characters similar in terms of their dialog. Differentiated the characters.
3. Dealt with the emotional arc of the characters, in particular the antagonist.
4. Increased the sense of bonding between the protagonist and his ‘helper/mentor’ (per the hero’s journey).
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Patrick Downey – Solved Scene Problems
What I learned doing this assignment is I could write, rewrite, fix, read again, add, improve, improve again and still find areas that could use work. When do you stop re-writing?
1. Weak characters – I found areas that I felt added a situation to the story to carry it along or tie it in so I kept it.
2. Building arcs – Several scenes didn’t have an arc, so I rewrote some of the scenes for the reader to understand.
3. Scene structure – My screenwrite deals with dates and times in history so, I had to make sure they worked within the overall story. I went back and realigned a few scenes.
I orginally only had 78 pages when I first wrote my screenplay and thought I could never get to the 90 – 100 pages. As of today, it sits at 100 pages and counting!
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Lesson 27: Draft 2: Solving Scene Problems
ASSIGNMENT
BG Solved Scene Problems!
What I learned doing this assignment: I went through my outline, checked each scene, and marked those that could be improved by the techniques listed in this assignment. I also marked each scene in which I could improve the use of dramatic devices such as twists, hooks, dramatic irony, suspense, surprise, mislead/reveal, emotional descriptions, etc. Implementation of these enhancements will have to wait for Draft #3!!!
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Charles Ferrell’s solved scene problems
What I learned doing this assignment is to see more doors open for me in how I view my work. I find myself going back and forth between the last lesson of Character problems and Scene problems, they feed each other well.
1. Weak characters – Gaining a clearer focus on the characters emotional wounds, this is showing up in reviewing scenes.
2. Building Arc’s – In reviewing scene arc’s I have now added some additional smaller scenes driven by the arc of the previous or next scene.
3. Scene structure – I have re-ordered the structure of some scenes and am gaining greater clarity in the flow between scenes.
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Robert Wood – Solved Scene Problems.
What I learned doing this assignment is a reinforcement that writing and editing is a progressive process. I have been going through the script with the various assignments in mind, editing along the way and adding wherever things come to mind. I’ve been looking at character, dialogue, scene structure, and the flow of the entire piece. The script is still short, but has grown to 76 pages, so it’s starting to feel reasonably satisfying.
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Janeen Solved Scene Problems
What I learned doing this assignment is that the character’s inner journey is not expressed enough in key scenes. I’ve gone back and fixed a few, but I have a couple more to do that will have to wait for the rewrite class.
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Benito Selim’s Solved Scene Problems!
What I learned from this assignment is make the most of your scenes. Make the scenes not only important to the story, but also memorable. People go to the movies to be entertained and enter the world you created.
1. I gave my characters more meaningful dialogue this also helped with keeping the story moving along.
2. I included flashbacks as well so there wasn’t a bunch of scenes with just talking heads.
3. Makes the scenes of action and scares more intense giving the reader the sense that they are really in danger.
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Andrea Cabañas, Solving Scene Problems
What I learned: apart from writing my outline on a whiteboard, this exercise helped me see clearly that some scenes didn’t have any purpose, not moving the story forward. I cut a few scenes but also had to create new ones, as I also noticed a few gaps, or should I say jumps, between scenes that missed something.
I still need to rewrite a few dialogues and work more with the timeline of my story, so I can have ‘the right length’ of time for things to happen until the turning point. I also started to play more with the way my characters respond to some events.
I noticed I used too many “montages”, and I cut three sequences of scenes that didn’t have a strong purpose to happen. Cutting them gave more pace to the story.
Still lots of work to do, but I’ll leave it to the third draft!
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TIM’S SOLVED SCENE PROBLEMS – DAY 27
What I learned doing this assignment is that my scenes are so underwritten that it’s almost impossible to evaluate their problems. I probably won’t finish writing scenes for another week or more, so I’ll follow up on this assignment at that time. I wish you all the best of luck on finishing your scripts and getting them polished to award and contest-winning conditions.
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Rebecca Jordan’s solved scene problems. Lesson 27.
What I learned from doing this assignment is that I could continue to work on scenes forever. Right now I’m happy to have finally fixed my structure to where I’m satisfied for the moment. With each lesson toward the end I kept getting hung up on structure when I was to be looking at other elements. However, that being said, I am happy with my scenes for now. The flow of scenes anyway. I know I will revisit scenes for word smithing but I feel like the scenes in general have a purpose with arcs and drive the story. I will definitely revisit with at least a few more passes on scenes as I develop some of the peripheral characters which will makes scenes even better hopefully. I did get rid of some little “transitional” scenes that were unnecessary. And condensed some scene threads to move story with more pace.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 2 months ago by
Rebecca Jordan.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 2 months ago by
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Dana’s Solved Scene Problems
What have I learned from this assignment?
I learned to scan my script scene by scene to brainstorm and create contrast between my characters and their surroundings. Escalating the scenes for my protagonists and the scenes for my antagonists also built the tension for the final conflict between both sides.
I used the worksheet and went through my script to solve the issued listed below.
A. Basic Scene Problems
I had too much exposition is scenes that needed to be edited.
B. Weak Scenes
I moved scenes around to strengthen the reveal/setup and future moments.
I created greater conflict between my protagonists’ motives
I increased the hatred/violence between the dirty cop and the assassin to improve their conflict.
I removed the second governor’s press conference and added a TV interview that goes south.
C. Situations That Don’t Challenge Characters
I improved the scene where my protagonists go in opposite directions, leaving one alone on the journey.
I created greater involvement with the Russian female gangster, not only as the subplot, but as the instigator of events that are reveals in the final scene.
D. Cliché Scenes
Hotel kitchen scene – changed to a day spa meeting between governor’s wife and corrupt lawyer.
I removed a scene that I realized wasn’t even necessary.
These are a few of the scenes I have changed on this run through. This is only my second run at this script, and I am sure things will find and change other scenes on my next rewrite.
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Lori Solved Scene Problems
What I learned is to look at every scene individually to see if it works.
Before:
EXT. QUANT SMALL TOWN AT CHRISTMAS TIME – DAY
Like a scene from a Thomas Kinkade painting, the idyllic small-town main street is decorated for Christmas. Shoppers are in and out of storefronts. And children are playing in the snow.
This opening scene is weak and possibly cliche. I need to set it up as the opposite of the ending scene.
EXT. QUANT SMALL TOWN AT CHRISTMAS TIME – DAY
An UPBEAT CHRISTMAS SONG
Like a scene from a Thomas Kinkade painting, the idyllic small-town main street is decorated for Christmas. Shoppers are in and out of storefronts. And children are playing in the snow.
PASTOR THOMAS walks down the snowy sidewalk, sliding in his dress shoes. He’s a middle-aged man whose face is weathered from grief. Thomas steps into a puddle and GASPS. He picks up his foot and shakes it as if that might help.
An EXHAUSTED MOM AND TWO SMALL CHILDREN exit the storefront near Thomas. The baby is CRYING, and the toddler is SCREAMING.
Thomas gives the mother a fake smile.
The smile is knocked off Thomas’ face when a snowball whizzes toward him and hits him in the face.
As Thomas is whipping his face, he spots an elderly man, HENRY SPENCER, across the street. Henry looks weak and possibly has spent his life falling off and on the wagon.
Thomas and Henry make very brief eye contact, and Thomas hurries down the street and into the church.
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