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Post Day 3 Assignment Here
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Margaret’s funny situations
What I learned: Three situations that set up for comedy.
In this scene, a group of normally “sane” residents in a nursing home play Bingo together. This is Irene’s first time playing Bingo with the group – Patsy is showing her the ropes. Bobby is the activities director.
INT. PEACEFUL VALLEY – DINING AREA – DAY
Irene, Patsy, and Joe sit at a table with Bingo cards in front of them. Bobby calls out a number.
BOBBY
B Four. B Four.
Patsy places her chip in the G column.
IRENE
(to Patsy)
I think he said B four.
PATSY
I don’t have B four so I’m doing B after.
Patsy takes a few more Bingo chips and places them in a line on her card.
Patsy calls out.
PATSY
Bingo!
BOBBY
Did someone call Bingo?
PATSY
Bingo! Bingo! Bingo!
Bobby comes over to Patsy with a basket of goodies, candy bars, and chips. She doesn’t check her card.
BOBBY
We have a winner.
Bobby sets the prize basket down in front of Patsy.
BOBBY
Pick your prize.
From the opposite side of the room, another voice calls out.
BINGO PLAYER (O.C.)
Bingo!
Patsy takes out a candy bar. Bobby takes the basket and leaves for the other table.
BOBBY
Another winner.
Patsy picks up a handful of chips, dumps them onto Irene’s card.
PATSY
Hurry and say Bingo. You don’t want to miss this round.
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DAY 3 WILLIAM BEASLEY FUNNY SCENE
MAN I’ve been waiting a long time for this moment.
WOMAN I couldn’t sleep a wink last night. I had a feeling it would happen today.
MAN I can’t believe I’m going to ask you this.
WOMAN Neither can I.
MAN We’ve been through so much.
WOMAN And it’s made our friendship stronger.
MAN I thought about doing it before but the time wasn’t right.
WOMAN Serve no wine before it’s time.
MAN Right, the old Orson Welles commercial.
WOMAN Timing is everything.
MAN And the time is now.
MAN GETS DOWN ON HIS KNEES
Women, will you . . .
MAN COUGHS
WOMAN Take your time.
MAN I will. Will you . . .
MAN COUGHS AGAIN
WOMAN Do you need some water?
MAN I could use a sip.
WOMAN GETS SOME WATER AND HANDS TO MAN
WOMAN Here.
MAN RISES AND TAKES SIP, PUTS GLASS DOWN
MAN Thanks. Where were we?
WOMAN You were on your knees about to . . .
MAN Oh, yeah.
MAN GETS BACK DOWN ON HIS KNEES
Will you do me the favor of watching my dog while I go down to Puerto Rico for two weeks?
WOMAN Watch your dog?
MAN Yeah. What did you think I was gonna ask?
WOMAN What did you think I thought?
MAN That as a good friend you’d do me this favor.
WOMAN While you go off to Puerto Rico for two weeks of sun and fun?
MAN I’m sensing some hesitation.
WOMAN Hesitation? Hesitate this . . .
WOMAN RUSHES TOWARD MAN
MAN RISES AND RAISES ARMS TO DEFEND HIMSELF
MAN Wait.
WOMAN STOPS
So, your answer is no?
WOMAN My answer is HELL NO.
MAN Does this mean our friendship is over?
WOMAN Over. Kaput. Finito. I never want to see you again.
MAN Okay, then.
MAN GETS BACK DOWN ON HIS KNEES, TAKES OUT BOX FROM POCKET
Then accept this as my parting friendship gift to you.
MAN GIVES HER BOX
WOMAN What is this?
MAN Open it and see.
WOMAN TRIES TO GIVE BOX BACK
WOMAN I don’t want anything that would remind me of you.
MAN Our friendship is over. Accept the gift.
WOMAN OPENS BOX AND SEES RING
WOMAN Is this a joke?
MAN Since you refused to watch my dog, why don’t you put the ring on and come down to Puerto Rico with me?
WOMAN Wait. What?
MAN Will you marry me?
WOMAN LOOKS AT RING, TAKES IT OUT OF THE BOX
MAN TAKES RING AND PUTS IT ON HER FINGER
WOMAN Oh, yes.
THEY HUG
What i learned from this assignment is using the Setup and Punchline to create a funny scene.
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(Patricia J. Ruland) Funny situations
SCENE: This is from a script I am working on about a Woostock-style festival put on by a family named The Boomers. Caren Cay is the mother; FO! The dad; ok the twins. Caren Cay has just performed.
A young boomlet, BRAD, 25, approaches Caren & Co. His face glows with admiration. He holds out a program and pen.
BRAD
Hi, I’m Chad. May I have your autograph?
CAREN CAY
Sure. No problem.
Another boomlet, BRENT, 28, walks up to them. The two perform a secret handshake.
BRAD
Meet the smokin’ hot MILF who just changed my life.
BRENT
Our life. You were a firecracker up there.
CAREN CAY
Uh, where’s the . . . concession stand? I’m starving.
BRENT
Hungry . . . for love.
A group of young people crowd around a guy holding a copy of the “Urban Dick.” They cannot turn the pages fast enough. They burst out laughing and reciting definitions.
YOUNG PERSON 1
“A hot ass mom you wanna smash and kill all night long.”
YOUNG PERSON 2
Let me see that. . . . “Milves:
plural of milf”
The crowd around the Urban Dick grows larger and roudier.
BRAD
Hey, this is sufficiently Boomer-delic, isn’t it?
Chad sings “Ready for Love” in a showtune way.
BRAD
Ready for love . . . I’m ready for love.
CAREN CAY
ok, think I saw a snow-cone stand somewhere around here. Sure would like a Coney dog and a snow cone.
K
Consider it done.
BRAD
Hey, I’m Coney.
CAREN CAY
Cherry Lime, ok–yeah, a cherry lime would be great, great.
BRIAN, 32, walks up.
BRYAN
And I’m Dog. You can call me “Dawg, D-A-W-G.”
K
I could go for a Lemon-Lime, Mom.
O
Make that a double.
CAREN CAY
Meet me at the picnic tables?
Before Caren Cay can make her escape, Brad, Brent, and Bryan commence a trio, “Cherry Baby.”
BRAD, BRENT, BRYAN
Oh, don’t you know
I’m never gonna ever let you go
Cause you’re so sweet
I’ve got to have you Cherry
O
That’s my mom, you effing–
BRAD, BRENT, BRYAN
Mmmmm, Cherry baby
Cherry, Cherry, oh yeah
Cherry, Cherry baby
Cherry, Cherry oh
K
–creep.
FO! is oblivious, just yards away, as he chats up the attractive governor, CANDACE, “CANDI,” 47.
FO!
I must say–
CANDI
–let me say it. You’ve outdone yourself, FO!
O
Hey, you effing perverts. That’s my mom.
Both FO! Candi look over as all hell breaks loose. o decks Brad. Brad decks o. k delivers a mixed martial arts-worthy kick to Brent’s crotch. o gets up and kicks Brent in the crotch, too.
FO! rushes over and decks Brad, Brent, and Bryan. Candi mouths “My Hero,” and claps and eggs them on.
Caren Cay slinks toward the stage. She walks like a zombie strumming and singing.
CAREN CAY
I feel it in my fingers
I feel it in my toes
The love that’s all around me
And so the feeling grows
Brad decks FO! o decks Brent. Brent decks o. FO! gets up and decks Brad. Brent gets up and decks FO!. They pile on in full saloon brawl mode.
CAREN CAY
(voice fading)
It’s written on the wind
It’s everywhere I go
So if you really love me
Come on and let it show
K
Cops 12 o’clock.
Cops and reporters crowd them. Cops cuff FO! because the B boys say he started it. Candi coolly strolls over.
CANDI
Hey, Officer, enjoying the festival as much as I am? We have FO! to thank.
Brad, Brent, and Bryan shift their adoring gazes from Caren Cay to Candi. The officer stands transfixed.
OFFICER
I’m a Led Zeppelin fan, myself.
CANDI
Well, I have a whole lotta love for that revelation.
Candi blows a kiss at the officer, and tips her head toward FO!’s cuffs. The officer hastily uncuffs FO! Candi, with FO! On one arm and the officer on the other, make their way to the stage.
EXT FESTIVAL ARENA, STAGE NIGHT
The sun is setting. Caren Cay finishes her snow-cone and hurries on stage. She straps on her guitar, back to the crowd. She turns around and faces the audience.
MILF signs stretch as far as the eye can see: “Owned–By a MILF”; “GOT MILF?”; “MILFALICIOUS!” A group sways as they sing.
GROUP IN THE AUDIENCE
“What’s it all about, MILFIE?”
Caren Cay falters but recovers.
CAREN CAY
(gasping)
Another cherry lime sno-co, please, k?
K
(whispering)
It’s a compliment, Mom.
CAREN CAY
Yeah, like having a scarlet M emblazoned on my chest.
O runs onstage carting a Cherry Lime snow-cone. The audience roars.
O
You’re the bomb, Mom. Here.
Caren Cay does not know her mic is live.
CAREN CAY
That hits the spot. You got a Lemon Lime for yourself, didn’t you?
Caren Cay jumps at the sound of her voice. She thirstily consumes the second snow-cone.
YOUNG PERSON 3
That’s our mom-that’s our MILF.
STEVEN, 42, hangs on the edge of the stage. He mouths the words, “I love you.”
Caren Cay snaps around to adjust a dial on an amplifier behind her. Loud INTERFERENCE NOISES cut Steven down and incite the audience into a frenzy. The entire audience joins in singing.
AUDIENCE
What’s it all about, MILFIE?
Caren Cay adjusts the dial again and even louder INTERFERENCE sounds blare out of the amplifier.
CAREN CAY
Owned? You want owned?
Caren Cay belts out “Smells Like Teen Spirit” as she bashes her guitar against the sound equipment.
CAREN CAY
(SCREAMING BLOODY MURDER INTO THE MIC)
With the lights out, it’s less dangerous
Here we are now, entertain us
Caren Cay smashes her guitar to pieces. The crowd stomps and chants.
AUDIENCE
MILF. MILF. MILF. . . .
CAREN CAY
Entertain your fucking self.
Caren Cay storms off the stage. FO! and Candi stomp and clap wildly.
CANDI
You are a genius, FO!
The ONION news crew arrives on scene and fans out. Caren Cay loses a reporter tailing her and disappears into the night. A reporter interviews Candi and FO!.
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DAY 3 assignment
darryl brant – Funny Situations
Inappropriate Response
What I learned from this assignment is comedy can come from a variety of situations. Buck conventions and put your characters into comedic situations to see where the scene goes.
For this scene Ruth is a masseuse at work and Ribbon is her mother.
INT. MASSAGE PARLOR – DAY
Ruth massages the athletic body of a MALE CLIENT.
Soothing music plays. A fountain cascades water. The lighting is warm. It is all very relaxing.
CLIENT
Does she need to be here?
Ribbon sits in a chair in the corner ogling the client.
RUTH
Sorry sir. No she doesn’t. I’m not sure why she is here.
Ribbon edges the chair closer to the massage table.
RUTH
Here, these will help.
Ruth puts some headphones on the client.
RIBBON
Get him to turn over. I want to see his —
RUTH
You know you can’t be in here.
The client lifts his head.
RIBBON
He’s so handsome.
RUTH
Yeah, he is.
RIBBON
Many muscles.
RUTH
Yes.
RIBBON
Hair too.
RUTH
Yes.
RIBBON
Handsome, muscles and hair. The holy trinity.
The client gets annoyed.
CLIENT
I can still hear you.
RUTH
Sorry. One moment.
Ruth storms to the corner.
RUTH
Mom I’m at work. I’m doing my job. You know you can’t be in here. But you don’t listen. You never listen. I’m sick of repeating —
RIBBON
Why don’t you date men like him?
RUTH
I do.
RIBBON
Your last boyfriend had a boyfriend.
RUTH
Mom! Shh!
The half-naked client throws the headphones. Hurriedly gets dressed. Ruth licks her lips.
RIBBON
I could eat that for dinner.
RUTH
Sir she was just leaving.
RIBBON
Lap it up with those manly —
CLIENT
I want a refund.
The client storms out of the massage room.
The MANAGER is in immediately after.
MANAGER
Ruth that’s your second warning.
Ribbon not so secretly hands Ruth a small bag of weed.
RIBBON
(whispering)
Here’s the weed you asked for.
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Larry – funny Situations – Misinterpretation
What I learned from this assignment is that the setup is key. It has to be efficient and there have to be sufficient elements to allow for a succession of misinterpretations to build the humour.
Fisherman’s Fool
EXT. SEASIDE MARINA – DAY
SAM SPELLING has stolen one million dollars from Jack Stills and plans to get away on a charter boat going from the Bahama Island to Florida. He is dressed casually but is carrying a briefcase. He is in disguise, wearing a fake beard and has dyed his hair badly with raven black colouring. He spots a large sign reading “Captain Bill’s Charters” with Captain Bill sitting on a stool and approaches.
SAM
Hi. I’m looking for a charter to take me off this damn island and I can’t get away quick enough. If you’ve got a boat ready to go I’ve got cash ready to pay.
CAPTAIN BILL
Sure. No bookings so far today. In a hurry?
SAM
That’s for sure. I bring the wife down for a vacation and I caught her in a bed with some local dude. We’re done and I’m out of here. She can fend for herself with her new fuck.
CAPTAIN BILL
Any place in particular you want to go?
SAM
Well I figure you might be able to smuggle me into Miami. If I go missing the wife gets nothing as my estate all goes to my children.
CAPTAIN BILL
(suspicious)
You’re not the police are you? I’ve heard stories of the cops trying set us poor, honest, hard-working sailors into a trap just so they can seize boats and fund their pension.
Sam opens his briefcase part way and produces a wad of cash.
SAM
Does a cop carry this kind of dough? So are we going for sail or do I find another Captain Sparrow? Just to set the terms. You get fifty-thousand cash for delivery of the goods in Miami. Fair?
CAPTAIN BILL
Looks like a fine day for sailing to me. Hop aboard.
The two men hop onto Captain Bill’s boat and cast off. They start off slowly and follow a path close to shore. There is an assistant on board doing the piloting. Captain Bill’s cell phone rings.
SPLIT SCREEN. Conversation between Jack and Bill. Sam eavesdrops but will only hear Bill’s voice.
JACK
It’s Jack. You busy?
BILL
Just going on a one-way cruise. You know, drop a body and get back.
JACK
Do a little fishing for me? See if you can catch a marlin for me. Make for a nice display in my den.
CAPTAIN BILL
Sure, if I see him I’ll catch him. That’s a guarantee. I’ll be careful with the gaffe. Wouldn’t want holes in his head. I’ll try not to break any body parts but no guarantee. Sometimes they squirm something awful when you catch ‘em and cut ‘em.
JACK
Fine. Gotta go.
CAPTAIN BILL
See you, Jack.
(Bill hangs up.)
SAM
Would that be Jack Stills?
CAPTAIN BILL
Yeah, you know him?
SAM
(hastily)
No, no. Heard of him. Has quite a reputation as a gangster
CAPTAIN BILL
(chuckles)
That’s for sure. We go way back. I’ve taken a few guys for a trip for him. Unfortunatley few bodies have accidently fallen overboard. Of course they didn’t need no life preserver afterward.
(laughs at his own joke.)
Listen I got to prepare for a little fishing.
(He pulls out a stool and a pail of fish. He pulls out a machete and begins chopping up the bait.)
Would you like to give me a hand?
(He points the machete in a menacing way.)
SAM
(in a frightened voice)
No, it’s alright. I have an aversion to things being cut up.
SAM goes to the back of the boat and watches the wake. He is beginning to sweat. He notices a bead of black dye drop off and his beard starting to slip. CAPTAIN BILL joins him. A wave smacks the boat, pushing BILL into SAM, almost knocking him overboard. He grabs Sam.
CAPTAIN BILL
Sorry, pal. Almost sent you to Davy Jones’ locker. Wouldn’t want to do that – unless there was a big reward involved.
(He laughs at his own joke.)
CAPTAIN BILL CTD
Jack says that if a guy stiffs him he would have his head stuffed and mounted on his wall. Actually that’s one of my specialties -stuffing and mounting that is. Ever wondered what it would be like to be stuffed and mounted for everyone to look at you?
SAM
(terrified)
Get away from me you crazy man!
(At that moment black dye starts streaming down his face and his beard slides off.)
CAPTAIN BILL
Say, aren’t you –
Sam screams, jumps off the boat and starts swimming frantically for the shore.
CAPTAIN BILL CTD
I could have sworn that guy looked like Harrison Ford. And look at that. The fool left his briefcase!
The End.
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Title: (Eclipse Neilson ) Funny situations
What I’ve learn you can always make it funnier when aware of these techniques. This script has funny moments and at times deep moments. It is a dramedy.
Radna (the sophisticated hippie,) though the newest member of the senior residence, has become the leader. The residents have recently been told that their place is going up for sale and this could mean trouble and loss (just as they finally begin to like each other.)
Anne is the oldest and most often sits in her wheelchair , hunched over, chin on her chest.She is a women of few words.
Tilda is the people pleaser who talks too much.
INT.MAIN SITTING ROOM – EVENING
The women are sitting around a card table. Radna is holding a deck of cards.
RADNA
Now that we are getting to know each other; thanks to Jeanie’s awesome courage.
She smiles at Jeanie. Turns to them with a slight smirk and teasing tone. NOTE: Jeanie a few scenes back confessed she was gay)
RADNA (CONT’D)
I think we should play a new game ….remember Truth or Dare?
The women giggle – some roll their eyes – then suddenly one at a time realize what this could entail.
TILDA
What do you mean “dare?”
RADNA
Well, I was thinking the highest card got to ask the question and the lowest card has to answer. If one refuses, they have to show us either their Happy dance – Sexy dance or excuse my language, the Fuck you dance!
Everyone laughs then gets the reality of the game. Some wince as they nervously look as Radna passes the cards out face down.
Sylvia pulls out a tissue wrapped brownie. Takes a huge bite. Speaks with mouth full and with a bit of a whine.
SILVIA
Do we have to play?
RADNA
Look! If we are going to be an army or maybe we should call ourselves a “team to reckon with” against any big bad corporate buyer, we better get to know each other – trust is our goal here. We’ve got to have each other’s back. Get my breeze?
Tilda whispers to Radna.
TILDA
It’s drift – get my drift.
RADNA
What ever drift- breeze- wind – you know what I mean- right girls?
The women nod yes and pull the chairs closer to the table. They all sigh as they stare nervously at the card face down.
RADNA (CONT’D)
Now before we start, lets do a group dance! Like we do with June. NOTE: June is the physical therapist.
They all stand up. Radna starts singing the notes to My, My Delilah (Tom Jones) They join her and do a group sway around the table.
Anne in her chair, chin laying on her chest with her hands raised conducts the group as they sway and sing.
All begin to giggle. Radna smiles and nods for everyone to sit back down.
RADNA (CONT’D)
Now we will turn one card at a time and girls remember it is about trust.
Each woman cautiously turns over the card as the group looks. They all remain silent, look at each other’s card. The High card is Tilda’s who is greatly relieved and the low card is Anne’s. They all look at Anne with a what are you going to do look.
TILDA
Oh. It’s me who has to ask the question.
Looks up. Looks back at Anne. Smiles kindly.
TILDA (CONT’D)
Ok I’ll make this easy – don’t want to push too hard…. Tell me any secret you want…. or if you don’t never mind…
They all nod approvingly at Tilda’s question and turn back to Anne.
Anne nods a slow yes , then looks up and stares at them.
Tilda
You really don’t have to answer this.
Radna frowns at Tilda.
ANNE
Oh what the hell, at my age, I ain’t got time to fool around or drag this out. I’ll show you all how to play this game … my secret is
(slowly grins ).
I was a stripper.
(Chuckles)
Thats how I got through college!
The women’s eyebrows raise.
ANNE (CONT’D)
No one was going to stop me from getting what I needed to succeed!
They all swallow their gasp. Look at the cards as Radna hands out a new batch and giggles.
RADNA
Stakes are getting higher.
They once again turn the cards over. Silvia’s is the highest and Radna’s is the lowest. Radna rolls her eyes. Looks in the distance and sees her Mother’s ghost standing there looking at her. Radna gives her a little help me look. Her mother raises one eyebrow.
NOTE: Radna’s ghost Mother always dresses in a roaring twenties outfit and smoke a cigarette with a long diamond stud cigarette holder.
SILVIA
Well, we already know I did a lot of dope and since YOU Radna came up with this idea. Tells us something unbelievable about yourself.
Silvia smiles and finishes her brownie brushes the crumbs into her palm and licks them up.
Radna looks at them. Brushes the question off with a cocky laugh. Looks back at her mother who winks at her.
RADNA
I’ll tell you something but you wont believe me … so I’ll start dancing my silly dance…
She stands up and does a two step dance, singing the notes to Yellow Submarine – the Beatles.
RADNA (CONT’D
Dah Dah dada dah!…Dah , I see spirits… good ones that is.
The woman are aghast looking like they don’t know if they heard her right.
Radna sits back down with a so there take that look.. Every one is silent as she passes out the new cards.
MONTAGE (silent)
– A repeat of questions and cards being dealt is repeated. Some answers- others get a question shake their head no and get up and dance.
FADES BACK TO THE PRESENT
Radna deals the cards. Martha gets the low card and Anne gets the high card. Anne slowly lifts her head and stares directly at her.
ANNE
You have that type of confidence -one I admire …but I’ve been around -know the ins and outs of people’s expressions… I’d say m’lady, YOU are carrying some big secret .. So Martha the ‘big business’ one, what was it that tripped you up in life? What’s the secret shame?
Everyone looks at Martha and back at Anne who has rested her chin back on chest. All begin to shake their head in disapproval.
TILDA
That’s awfully deep…you don’t have too…
The women shushes Tilda.
Anne looks like a deer in the headlights. Looks at everyone to see if she can trust them. Turns away. Stands up and darts across the room over to a corner chair. The women stare at her. She sits upright frozen.
Radna looks at her , pauses , frowns gently and gets up and walks over. Nods to the door.
RADNA
Lets you and me take a walk in the garden.
She turns back to the other women, motions them to continue.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 11 months ago by Eclipse Neilson.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 11 months ago by
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Ron Basci Funny Situations Lesson 3
What I learned from this assignment: How difficult it was for me to insert a genuinely comedic situation without using already established characters and absent of the movie plot. This was a good test.
On a noisy and busy Manhattan street a patrol car searches for a missing young, Bollywood actress. The PATROLMAN points to a pretty brunette passing by.
PATROLMAN
That’s her! Slow down.
DRIVER
(glances quickly)
Not even close. She’s American, Romeo!
As car continues, a store owner emerges from his shop shouting and gesticulating for help unseen and unheard in the crowd. Patrolman spots another young woman walking in the same direction car is traveling. He looks down at the missing’s photo and up again, excitedly
PATROLMAN
There she is!
Car passes revealing an Oriental woman. Patrolman is disappointed and angry
PATROLMAN
Shit! I could swear it was her! Forget t.
Car continues as a stunning South Asian WOMAN comes into view in the midst of the crowd. Driver uses his chin to point to her. A teenager is lounging nearby carefully watching the patrol car.
DRIVER
Here we go, over there. How ’bout that one?
PATROLMAN
Pull over quick! Hey baby!
Woman looks and sneers, keeps going. Car pulls up along side.
PATROLMAN
I said to stop! We have some questions for you. C’mere.
Woman approaches and leans into passenger window. Street noise more audible.
PATROLMAN
We’re looking for this actress and were wondering if that’s you.
Annoyed, she responds with a hard shake of her head,
WOMAN
No! What’s with you? Didn’t get any last night? You think we all look alike? Get lost, loser!
PATROLMAN
Well, you are a feisty one, and a hottie, too. Why don’t you and me…
Woman slaps Patrolman hard almost sending him into the Driver’s seat. Driver chuckles as she walks off. As this transpires, the teenager springs into action grabbing a woman’s purse and taking off. The victim begins the chase, abruptly stops, the police are oblivious – being otherwise occupied.
DRIVER
This is getting us nowhere and your face is starting to swell. Let’s cut this crap and do some real police work.
PATROLMAN
Yeah, but I’m gonna keep an eye out.
DRIVER
Another slap and you might lose one. Hey there! She’s walking away, she looks exactly like the picture from the back.
PATROLMAN
Yeah, gotta be, yeah… Uh. No. Keep going.
DRIVER
What, you sure?
PATROLMAN
Yeah, that’s my brother.
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Christy Waites’ Funny Situation
I’m developing a comedy screenplay right now, so I chose a scene where the protagonist meets his nemesis for this assignment. I like the possibilities of a Misinterpretation situation, so I wrote this part of the the scene to set up the misinterpretation and hopefully ended with
and inappropriate response, even if it isn’t very wild. I need to work on that, otherwise I like the conversation.
Pretext: Jack Baird (14) visits Tavis McThorn (13) for a short first meet. Tavis has no friends and has never had a visitor.
The boys are alone in the small parlor. Jack has been interrogating Tavis.
Jack begins sauntering around the room with his hands behind his back, looking at the various paintings on the walls and ceramic figurines on the end tables.
JACK
Why haven’t I seen you in school?
TAVIS
I’ve been ill. Much too ill for school.
Jack stops and peers at Tavis, his eyes squinting.
JACK
And you’re so much smaller than me.
TAVIS
Aye. My maw says it’s because of my illnesses.
Jack continues moving around the room.
JACK
Are you on any Kent youth athletic teams?
TAVIS
Athletics? You mean sports? Oh, no, not me.
Jack stops. He pushes out his chest and stands with his legs astride, both hands on his waist.
JACK
I’m the captain of the junior football and junior golf teams!
TAVIS
Oh? Well done!
JACK
Aye! One day, I’ll be old enough to start training in the back hold.
TAVIS
Maybe one day I can do all of that.
JACK
You? (beat) I have my doubts.
Jack returns to wandering. He vies a beautiful crystal figurine, picks it up, and tosses it over his shoulder. Tavis catches it before it hits the floor.
Jacks stops to face Tavis again.
JACK
What do you do all day long, anyway? What do you do for fun?
TAVIS
Oh, many fun things!
Jack waits patiently.
TAVIS
Uh, well, I like to read, especially myths of giants and mer-people!
Jack fakes a yawn.
TAVIS
And I write my own stories of dragons, and knights who save the Princess!
Jack sits in the nearest chair and drops his head to one side.
TAVIS
I put up bird feeders, and watch the birds. I have an entire sketch book of birds that I’ve drawn!
Jack rolls his eyes as his tongue drops from his mouth.
TAVIS
Oh, and I love tigers! I draw tigers from books I got from a real big game hunter!
Jack stands straight up and shouts.
JACK
Stop! I can’t take it any more!
TAVIS
Uh?
JACK
I meant, what athletic games do you play. What sports do you play for fun?
TAVIS
Oh. I don’t play sports like you do.
Jack throws his arms up.
JACK
Uggh!
Tavis body stiffens as his eyes go wide.
JACK
I thought I was going to meet an equal today, and instead I find a little strum!
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DAY 3 Artūrs Kozels funny scene
What I have learned is that incongruity is still #1 rule in comedy. You’re able to come up with anything, just let your mind loose and don’t be afraid of writing differently from others. Also that there are 6 comedy situations of which I know only 3, yet, but it’s because I go slowly at this.
EXT. CHURCH – DAY
RICK (55), blind and a little shy person, dressed formally as from the 1990s. Puts his wand beside the doors and walks into a small church.
INT. CHURCH – DAY
Rick is being expected by a PRIEST in his 30s with a very low voice. The priest reaches out to Rick.
Priest (honored)- Well, hello sir…!
Rick (vulnerable)- Hello… I need help…
Rick laughs a little. The priest helps Rick to get to the confessional. Both sit down in a cage. Candles around.
Priest- So. Tell me. What’s on your heart?
Rick- Oh… You don’t wanna know. You see, I’m a little shy person. And it ain’t comfortable for me to start. Perhaps you may wanna start and I’ll join? I’ve never done this. My wife said this is the best place…
Priest- Yes! Indeed, the best and only… No problem sir! The god…–
Rick- Oh yes… The god is real. He’s the blessing and he’s the best. What hasn’t he invented?? Thanks… Feel much better now. Do you have something I could hold? Just to get the right mood. I feel better if I’m in a mood… And if I’ve come to this place which never happens, I’m in a goddamn good mood.
The priest gets puzzled.
Priest- Are you sure?
Rick- Yes. Give something to me. I’m in unhappiness, my friend.
The priest takes one candle and passes it through the bars of the tiny window between them. Rick takes it. Becomes more upbeat…
Rick- Wow. Wow. Even hear the God calling me. God calls me upon. My wife is going to be truly happy I came here…
Rick strokes it. Finds the burner. Stretches it… Keeps stroking it harder and harder like his own dick. Shouts out inappropriate words one after another. He gets boner himself… The priest is in shock…
Rick- Ohhh yesss…. My wife was right! She’ll be so FUCKING glad of two dicks in her. One in deep anal and the other as this fabric slips into her ass…
The priest sweats of embarrassment hoping no one hears them. The priest begins to bang his fist against the wall to stop Rick as he jerks off the wrong genitalia… Rick stops for a beat.
Priest (grounded)- Sir! What do you want? What are you doing?
Rick (stunned)- What is this place? Isn’t this the sex store?
Priest (in despair)- No. Oh my Go–
The priest makes a cross looking up in the ceilings of the cage. Apologizes to God saying nothing.
Priest (broken)- Sir… This is a church.
Rick stops immediately after doing who knows what… Looks around as if he wouldn’t be blind and would be able to inspect the environment.
Rick- Alright then! We shall be thankful we weren’t under naked sky. He didn’t saw us.
Priest- God knows and sees everything. I like to say he’s our subconscious mind.
Rick rapidly stands up as if everything would have been arranged. Brush dust off his pants.
Rick (noble)- HAHA!! Then fuck it. If God is in our mind then who cares what we do? We didn’t nor screwed, nor fucked up. Calm down, boy. You’ve got a lot to learn. What you can learn from this conversation is… Listen. But firstly, ask the right question. Bye!
Rick walks away.
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WWII Flyers Crash and Burn: Will – Funny situations
What I learned from this assignment is how to set up hilarious situations of comedy.
Six young and very naive American WWII flyers walk off an elevator on the twelfth floor of a hotel looking for room number 1213. The leader of the troop, LIEUTENANT FLYNN has been given an invitation to meet some British showgirls at an after-hours party and he has been told to bring his buddies.
INT. SWANKY HOTEL – TWELFTH FLOOR – NIGHT
SERGEANT MORGAN
Do you think we should just knock?
LIEUTENANT FLYNN
Well, why not?
INT. SWANKY HOTEL Room – NIGHT
Hearing loud music inside, the rest of the fellers just barge in the door and see a bevy of beauties looking surprised that they have finally arrived. A smiling face walks up, grab one Airman by the arm, and leads him to the dance floor.
LIEUTENANT FLYNN
Well boys, congratulations we have made it to the right place.
SARGENT MORGAN
Are you sure we are supposed to be here? These dames look way out of our league.
LIEUTENANT FLYNN
Oh, yeah! We have definitely arrived.
The star of the show, Fiona, slinks up to the men in uniform.
FIONA
It’s about time you fellers came to the party. What took you so long?
SERGEANT MORGAN
We had to bomb some German ammunition plants. We’re lucky to be here at all.
FIONA
I’m glad to see you are all in one piece and ready for some action!
The soldiers look confused by her remark. (Note Misinterpretation)
AIRMAN REILLY
What do you think she meant by that?
AIRMAN FIRST CLASS O’BRIEN
She sure is spooky. These dames could use a lot more clothes.
AIRMAN REILLY
And how!
FIONA
Can I introduce you boys to the lovely ladies in the show?
BOYS
Well… I guess.
As she acquaints the showgirls with the flyers, the women start foundling their very impressive uniforms. Some of the men step back to resist their attention. The ladies giggle at their shyness.
LIEUTENANT FLYNN
I have never encountered such aggressive skirts before.
SERGEANT MORGAN
Do you think they are going to ask for money?
LIEUTENANT FLYNN
I think they are going to ask for a lot of moola. These broads are looking for a sugar daddy.
SERGEANT MORGAN
Or maybe Howard Hughes.
One of the girls, DAPHNE, walks up to Lieutenant Flynn and starts dancing with him.
DAPHNE
My, aren’t you good-looking? Have you had a lot of experience with the ladies?
LIEUTENANT FLYNN
Ah, well… they call me the lone wolf back in Pottstown, PA. Note: (Comedic Surprise)
DAPHNE
(giggling)
I’m sure they do. You must have broken your share of hearts.
LIEUTENANT FLYNN
You know… if you got it, you really got it.
DAPHNE
I find myself being very attracted to you. Would you like to follow me to the back bedroom for some hand-to-hand combat?
LIEUTENANT FLYNN
Aren’t we supposed to be married for that type of debauchery?
LIEUTENANT FLYNN
(yelling to the boys)
Come on, guys. These broads are a bunch of vampires! Note: Wildly (Inappropriate Response)
SERGEANT MORGAN
Sorry, we don’t pay for women’s affections.
AIRMAN FIRST CLASS O’BRIEN
Hey, ladies do any of you know where a guy can find a nice girl?
AIRMAN REILLY
I don’t think any one of them ever went to a nunnery.
The girls are heard roaring with laughter. The boys bolt out of the room and run down twelve flights of stairs to safety far away from the jezebels.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 11 months ago by Will Jennings.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 11 months ago by
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What I learned doing this lesson is how to construct a comedic scene.
INT. CRAFT STORE – DAY
SHERRI(young 60’s) is filling her cart with yarn.
Close on sign: S + M Creations Yarn 50% off
CHECKOUT LINE
Sherri unloads her yarn as the cashier scans.
CASHIER
You have a big project you’re working on?
SHERRI
I just love S and M yarn. They have the best colors and it’s a really good quality yarn. I think I will start something new with those new colors.
CASHIER
(smiling) That’s great. Oh, and it’s S plus M.
SHERRI
S and M, S plus M, you know what I mean.
EXT. PARKING LOT – DAY
A group of motorcycle riders roar in and begin walking to the barbeque restaurant next to the craft store. As Sherri is walking out with her yarn, a beautiful Harley Davidson Freewheeler zooms past and parks next to where her car is.
SHERRI
That is just beautiful.
The fairing is painted as snake skin with snake eyes.
RIDER
Thanks.
SHERRI
The artwork is amazing. Do you have a pet snake?
RIDER
The paint is called Snake Venom so the snake design seemed appropriate.
Sherri walks around to look at the whole bike. The rear has a painting of a woman with a whip in one hand and a snake in the other.
SHERRI
Is that you?
RIDER
Yes, when I was about 30 years younger. Do you ride?
SHERRI
No, but I’ve always loved the artwork and the beauty of bikes. And trikes.
RIDER
There’s an S & M Biker rally next weekend. There will be some beautiful bikes there. You should come.
SHERRI
Oh, I just LOVE S & M.
RIDER
Well, here’s the info.
Rider hands Sherri a flyer. S & M (not with a plus sign) and whips, handcuffs adorn the sides with lists of events.
SHERRI
Will a national rep be there? Because I have some ideas.
RIDER
I think people do come from every state so yeah, I’d say it’s national.
SHERRI
I just got some good deals on S & M today but if there’s something better at this rally, then I’ll have to get it.
RIDER
So you don’t have a partner?
SHERRI
As in romantic partner?
RIDER
You go somewhere?
SHERRI
Are you…You’re very nice and I am all for love but I’m not gay.
RIDER
Being a dominatrix doesn’t make me a lesbian.
SHERRI
A whot?
RIDER
I wouldn’t make you one either. I just wondered where you go because I don’t remember seeing you before.
Lightbulb. The whips. The handcuffs. Dominatrix. S & M not with a plus sign.
SHERRI
I’m sorry. I really should be going. Your bike and your whips are lovely. Please don’t hurt me.
She runs back to her car leaving the rider looking dumbfounded
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Sherri D. Coffee – Creating Comedy Situations
What I learned from doing this assignment is to brainstorm characters in different situations to develop a scene.
Barbara organizes a tennis trip and is forced to invite her frenemy, Catherine. She is convinced that Catherine wants to make her look bad at every turn. Catherine is happy to be included but she cannot maintain good behavior.
INT. Condo welcome dinner – PM
Catherine arrives and the room of ladies becomes still.
BARB
Hi Catherine, how’s your condo?
CATHERINE
Well, you know. Dated and cramped. Nothing like this place.
BARB
So, give them a call? See if they have anything else?
CATHERINE
Isn’t that your role? You made the reservations, right?
Barb receives stares.
BARB
Yes, but we are paying separate. Call them.
Lizzie leans over and whispers.
LIZZIE
Of all people, right?
Barb nods.
Catherine pours herself a drink and blends into the group.
She makes a call. And SCREAMS.
CATHERINE
NO. NO. NO.
She makes her way back to Barb. Hands her the phone.
CATHERINE
Tell them Barb. Tell them what we expect.
BARB
Hello. Yes, we are here for the tennis boot camp. Ok. Tomorrow?
Barb shakes her head.
BARB
Sure, we can move tomorrow. Talk then.
Turns to Catherine.
BARB
Problem solved. They can move you tomorrow.
CATHERINE
What about tonight? I know. I can sleep here. Let me go get my things!
Catherine runs out the door before Barb can object.
Barb turns to Jan.
BARB
WTF – now I have to share a condo with her.
JAN
I’d rather get another divorce than room with her.
LIZZIE
Who is going to be her tennis partner? Barb?
BARB
Everyone has to take a turn. How bad can it be?
The next morning, Barb makes coffee and wakes Catherine up.
CATHERINE
What are you doing? Too early!
BARB
We have to be on the court at 9am. I don’t want to be late.
Catherine rolls over and closes her eyes.
CATHERINE
Whatever.
EXT. TENNIS COURT – AM
Catherine strolls onto the court 20 minutes late. Barb just shakes her head.
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