Post Day 5 Assignment Here

[Quincy Cooke]

Quincy (Quinn)’s Basic Structure™!

What I’ve learned doing this assignment is the other structures I want to study. I’ve known about the multiple acts (3, 4, and 5) and the Hero’s Journey, but I’m fascinated by the concept of the 22 steps, 9 act structure, and whatever Blake Snyder’s Beat Sheet is. Although I’ll be sticking to a more traditional structure for now, I am looking forward to crafting with the others eventually.

Concept: The twin a woman absorbed in utero takes over her body while she sleeps in order to hunt for a body of her own.

9-Beats:

1. Opening: Cassie has a dream that she murders someone violently.
2. Inciting Incident: Cassie sees a news report about the murder.
3. Page 10: Cassie goes to Dr. Bellerophon, the therapist she has been seeing for trauma, to get help with the dreams.
4. First Turning Point/End of Act I: Cassie wakes up covered in blood.
5. Mid-Point: Helen makes herself known to Cassie by talking to her in the mirror and tells her about her plan.
6. Second Turning Point/End of Act II: Cassie passes out and Helen takes over during the day.
7. Crisis: Cassie discovers Bellerophon is a serial killer who has been purposefully drawing Helen out and using her as a tool to commit murder. He has been promising Helen he can find her a body if she kills.
8. Climax: Cassie decides to commit suicide to keep Helen and Bellerophon from killing anyone else.
9. Resolution: Cassie’s body is resuscitated, but Helen is in charge.

[James Peacock]

Jim Peacock’s Basic Structure

1. Logline – A shy computer nerd mistakenly hacks into a money laundering front for an Iranian militia and discovers a plot to release an EMP over the eastern US, and must stop the general’s plan and so chose between the woman he has grown to love or saving his country.

2. 9-beat structure

1. Opening: Skinny hacks the bank out of revenge, and discovers a plot by the Iranian general to get a dirty bomb and release. This after he holds the bank’s assets for ransom. He realizes what he’s done and is worried. His friend from the dark web, Jean Claude, warns him of an attack.

2. Inciting Incident: Soon after his apartment is invaded by killers. He narrowly escapes with the help of his neighbor Mary.

3. By page 10: Jean Claude, a conspiracy theorist, arrives from Canada with his mother’s stolen car and the 3 run away.

4. First turning point at end of Act 1: FBI catches them and tells them to help capture the general. They agree, but then run.

5. Mid-Point: They discover the full extent of the General’s evil. Plan and decide it’s up to them to save the country. They travel to Jean Claude’s uncle’s hut for guidance.

6. Second turning point at end of Act 2: The trio is captured by the general, and Skinny which friend is real and which is in on the plot. Both is accused by the other. Jean Claude is shot and killed by Mary. But May helps Skinny and her escape.

7. Crisis: The general kidnaps Mary and demands to know what Skinny knows and to give the money back.
8. Climax: Skinny takes all of the bank’s assets – 2.5 Billion and demands that Mary be released.
9. Resolution

[Emmanuel Sullivan]

[PS80] Emmanuel’s Basic Structure

What I learned doing this assignment is the basic story structure can be presented in 9 beats, which is an excellent way to set up a script in a high-level view for easier outlining.

[John Budinscak]

Budinscak Basic Structure!

What I learned today:

o I was surprised at the number of story structures that exist and Hollywood’s strong preference for the three-act structure.

o I’m lousy at outlines.

o How to tell the whole story – combine the 9 structural points with the necessary questions.

o And how the necessary questions keep you focused, not allowing you to stray when writing.

Concept:

Two cousins learn about life and family during a long trip with their uncle, a conniving chef who promises to deliver a package cross-country to Burbank, CA, by Monday or his family’s restaurant will be burned to the ground.

Opening:

While an extended family chats over dinner inside their restaurant, two preteen cousins play outside when a hearse pulls up to the funeral home across the parking lot from the restaurant. Men pull a body bag from the hearse that jerks around wildly.

Inciting Incident:

Jack, the uncle, simply has to agree to deliver a package or his family’s restaurant will be burned to the ground

By page 10, you know what the movie is about:

Jack agrees to deliver a package to Burbank, and he’s unaware he’s making the trip with his two young nephews, Puck and Sal.

First turning point as end of Act 1:

Jack wakes up in his car in Terra Haute (IN) and the two boys pop up in the back seat.

Mid-point:

Jack averts a crisis in an Oklahoma Truck Stop when he beats a trucker who had Puck trapped in a bathroom stall. The boys have never seen this side of their uncle – and never want to.

Second turning point at the end of Act 2:

In Las Vegas, Jack loses all his money in the casino, then is shaken down by the FBI and forced to be their informant, including wearing a wire.

Crisis:

Jack doesn’t want any emotional attachment to the nephews, but when their lives are at peril from carbon monoxide poisoning, he promises to change if God saves Sal and Puck.

Climax:

Jack and the boys deliver the package on time to a funeral home in Burbank. Once inside, Jack is separated from the boys. While Jack suffers, the two kids outwit their bad guy and save their uncle from his captors.

Resolution:

Jack, Sal and Puck arrive on the east coast in time to meet their mom’s – and the mom’s can tell the difference in their kids. While Jack feigns ignorance, the two boys vouch for their uncle’s story and add a few nuggets of their own.

[Rob Bertrand]

Rob Bertrand’s Basic Structure

What I learned: I learned that the classic 3 Act Structure is the industry standard for screenplays. I also learned the 9 Beat Structure and how it’s used to create a simple outline.

Logline: Two teenage sisters become convinced that their house is haunted, only to discover an obsessed teenage boy living in their walls, pretending to be their dead mother.

Opening: Norah Andrews commits suicide with her car, in a stranger’s garage.

Inciting Incident: At the funeral reception, Annie Andrews is embarrassed by her drunken father’s intolerant comments about gay people.

By Page 10, you know what the movie is about: Annie begins receiving phone calls from a mysterious boy, who wants to take her on a date. She’s reluctant because she’s confused about her sexuality, but her father talks her into it, thinking it will help with her depression.

First Turning Point, End of Act 1: Annie goes to the fair with Danny, who turns out to be the complete opposite of how he described himself. He’s greasy and morbid; wanting to know everything about Annie’s dead mother. Repulsed, Annie rejects Danny, who doesn’t take it well.

Mid-Point: The sisters start to experience paranormal activity and begin to suspect the house is haunted by their mother. Annie and Jessica perform a séance in an attempt to seek closure. They receive knocking sounds in response to their questions. They are busted by their father, who thinks they shouldn’t be dabbling in the occult.

Second Turning Point, End of Act 2: The paranormal activity increases in intensity. The sisters flee the house when they find a message written in blood that reads, “I’m in your bedroom. Come find me.” The police search the house and discover the message is written with ketchup. Their dad is furious and thinks they’re faking it for attention.

Crisis: After a period of calm, the paranormal activity returns, directed at Annie. Another message reads, “I’m back!” Annie is attacked by a ghostly woman in a white wedding dress. Jessica flees the house after Annie is taken.

Climax: Dad rushes home and finds the house is wrecked. He finds a blonde woman in his bedroom, wearing his dead wife’s wedding dress and holding a hatchet. Only it’s not a woman, it’s Danny Laplante and he’s holding Annie hostage. After a struggle, Annie and her Father escape the house. Later, the police find Danny, hiding in the walls of the house. He’s been living there for months.

Resolution: Annie finds the courage to come out to her father, who is surprisingly supportive. Annie’s father quits drinking and the family moves away.

[Julia Keefer]

What I learned is that while producers want clarity and simplicity my brain is a jungle where I must not snip the synapses but sculpt them into workable labyrinths for the screen and the global literary world.

Create a structure for your story. While I endorse the Campbell/Vogler/Voytilla Hero/Heroine Archetypal Journey, my screenplay will be a streak of red slashed through three complex literary novels from the point of view of a psychopath who is always in his Special World and presents in the Ordinary World as an OCD cleaner, hard worker, listener. At Midpoint when he, BB has a gender affirming operation to become Betty, it may be like the Journey to the Inmost Cave. Betty is forced into a Resurrection because Jake and Litonya find out her crimes and force her to confess or get on their side, so she does some good, giving neurodegenerative drugs to them, her Elixir, just before she sacrifices her life and dies on the rocking boat she loves.

But I will obey the traditional three act structure although I realize I must also work on some level with Truby’s structure (that I don’t know and must research) because adapting three novels is extremely complex even though Hollywood producers want everything simplified and I must finish my third novel this fall or I personally will turn into a monster.

My individual scenes must encompass visceral dramatic beats that move characters and audience from Surprise to Panic
Suspense to Horror
Dread to hysteria
Fear to Anguish
I am not naturally good at this so I must focus more.

Present your story, showing each part of the 9-beat structure as I did
in the two examples. Give us each of these:

1)Set-Up: Opening: The first image is that of a baby rocking in a womb looking like a happy fish or a boat floating nowhere on water. Then its mother gives him away as a montage of turfing the child ends with his losing his right eye in a street fight in East Harlem. As an adolescent, Bobby works for his adopted parents in a funeral home, embalming corpses. After hours, alone with these cadavers, we hear him moaning, his hand moving rapidly under the table. Then the tombs of his parents in Greenwood Cemetery. He inhales fresh air, so he moves upstate. A new identity—no longer Bobby but Leo, king of the mountain is serving food and drinks on the climbing pitches of the Shawangunks. The climbers are stronger than he will ever be. He watches them intently. He stalks them at night back to their cars, around the village, and on the campus. He can only control his business, not women, so he works harder, buys a two bedroom condo in Town and Country condos, and marries Natalia who has a handsome teenage son called Joe. He pays for Joe to get boxing lessons with the best, Floyd Patterson. A juvenile delinquent in Brooklyn, Patterson excelled at sports at the New Paltz high school like Joe, Leo’s son. Leo is financially reliable and hard-working but his sex life with Natalia or lack there of, leads to fights, so devastating that Leo “fixes” the brakes on her car so it crashes as she drives up to Mohonk one morning.

2. Inciting Incident: He watches from the woods and does nothing as EMS arrives, but later Bobby aka Leo pleasures himself as he prepares his wife’s casket.

3. By page 10, you know what the movie is about. CLIMB AND PUNISHMENT. Thus begins Leo’s double life—the restauranteur who now owns Muddy Mansion as well as his 16-6 condo and devoted father of Joe who becomes a frat president and successful boxer and student at the college and the other Leo who stalks beautiful strong young women, climbers, dancers, or gutter punkies, He is careful. No evidence. No trails. Bodies are found in the wilderness absorbed by nature. He is methodical: he kills silently from behind with a rock or branch, suffocates to be sure, and then sodomizes and rapes once the body is still. He meditates for a few minutes afterwards on his power, complete god-like power, that can energize him for days, weeks, or months because serial killing is a risky business and he has a lot to lose. His secret crimes make him work harder and Muddy Mansion becomes the place to go for gunkies, junkies, and gutter punkies, college students and professors, and even mothers who bring their kids for afternoon story hour. Leo was never a pedophiliac. He spends more time stalking and fantasizing than killing because only five corpses are found, and he killed at least ten. He has dreams and nightmares about the strongest rock climber, a Native American geologist born 1975 called Litonya Lenape because she free climbs without ropes he can cut and has a way with the wilderness that eludes him. He also obsesses about Priceless, the top dancer in his shows at Muddy Mansion, but he needs her to draw crowds. He sells 16-6 Huguenot to a gay couple, Orhan and Nikos, and uses the money to improve Muddy Mansion, a renovated barn, and make an apartment in the attic so he can live where he works. But his real play is in the wilderness where the rocks are the only witnesses. Leo wishes he were as strong, tall, handsome, athletic, and successful as his adopted son Joe. He watches him box at Patterson’s studio and eventually sets up a conditioning studio of his own in the village beside Muddy Mansion. Patterson suffered Alzheimer’s in his final years. He died at home in New Paltz, on May 11, 2006 at the age of 71. His body is buried at New Paltz Rural Cemetery in New Paltz, This is an important scene for Joe, Leo, Jake, and some who will cause conflicts. In 2009 Leo takes chances with Priceless, an exotic dancer in his club, and is about to make her a victim, but she surprises him by flirting and brazenly playing his game of tie up and burn until her buddies, Jake and Rodney come by to save her. She agrees to shut up if Leo will give her money to start a pro dance career in Manhattan the following year. But the men want him booked for assault. Jake and Leo have a big fight, refereed by Rodney. Then Joe arrives, shocked and humiliated. They wonder if Leo is the serial killer/rapist/arsonist, but he dismisses these thoughts because he is so busy. Nevertheless, he is booked for assault. After serving a short term because of excellent behavior in prison, (no one cleans like Leo) he sells Muddy Mansion to get money to send Joe to John Jay EMS Masters in Manhattan and Priceless to Ballet Arts and Steps for training. Crime is covered up with cleaning and money.

4. First turning point at end of Act 1: COME TO MAGNIFICENT METAMORPHIC MANHATTAN. Leo moves to Manhattan to become BB. He is pushing fifty and his testosterone is waning, so he no longer needs to rape corpses or have any kind of sex. But he is still a psychopath. He switches back to his Bobby identity, but this time calls himself BB or Boat Bob because he has had it with rocks and wants to spend the rest of his life near water, preferably on boats, rocking gently the way he did in the womb before his life was turned into a tomb. For ten years he hides out in homeless shelters, abandoned boats, sheds, and senior centers where he uses their computers to learn as much about boats as possible. He does odd jobs, still expert at cleaning, cars, construction, cooking, and yes, mortuary procedures, and a side gig secretly burning rent stabilized tenements with natural gas explosions. but he doesn’t get a real job on the books. He lives on the dole and saves whatever money he can to eventually buy a boat. He stays away from his son Joe who ends up marrying the Chinese girl Cheering Spear when Sam Stern is killed by his daughter Litonya and/or a tree during Sandy Storm. He was there as well, stalking, watching, and getting the spoils from his pockets in Turtle Pond. When Jake, Priceless, and the Feldmans are swamped by Sandy Storm in the basement apartments, BB helps clean up. Important to make friends. Although he feels his raping days are over, he befriends and stalks a tour guide MC he meets at the senior centers, giving her little presents like market coupons, umbrellas, shampoo, and bus tickets he gets from the city when she becomes homeless because of a fire that he secretly set as his first hit job in NYC for her landlord. At least she and her cat Sphinx survived. She takes fitness classes, walks a lot, and is more attractive than most seniors. But when he tries to rape her spring 2020 in the abandoned pet store where she is squatting, (his last try he swears to himself), he loses his energy and leaves. Nevertheless, she dies a few weeks later because BB was a carrier of COVID. He had flu symptoms, but nothing life-threatening. When he spends the night there, his son Joe comes to take the body to NYU Langone for research. Joe is too busy as an essential worker to process any of this especially since his wife CS is now in ICU with COVID.

Around page 40: SEISMIC SEESAW narrated by Jake and the MAGMA MONSTERS begins. BB now a hit man for Ibrahim’s STEMGARCHS. But he never confesses, and his son Joe is a good front because he is “perfect. BB sprays COVID sanitizer at super spreader events like the Feldman’s 2020 Chanukkah thereby killing the parents and the son, Ibrahim’s business partner, a necessary act because he must abandon the EE company to go in another direction. BB kills more seniors in Manhattan, including Jake’s grandmother, and sets fire to outdoor restaurants near rent stabilized apartments.

Meanwhile BB and Ibrahim have prematurely been vaccinated with Pfizer. BB secretly contaminates the La Roches during Back to School 2020 events and kills the Feldmans with the condensed COVID sanitizer at their Hanukkah party. Since the virus is spreading anyway, there is no way to know how he has intensified it and targeted certain people. Ibrahim wants him to kill CS, Joe’s wife, because she knows too much about STEMGARCHS.

Last pinch around 55 has Hurricane Ida demolish Ibrahim’s condo, killing his wife and son, but BB and Joe help clean up. Cleaning and money cover climate catastrophes sometimes but cannot bring back loved ones so Ibrahim changes for the worse.

5. Mid-Point: The Feldmans’ siblings, Norm and Keith, are filthy. They stink and they are ruining the Colonial. It is impossible to clean up after them. They hustle coeds in local bars, hoard food, scavenge in garbage, and have bad hygiene. They fight about everything from food to money to girls to housework, politics, and the pandemic. BB is an OCD cleaner. At first, BB cleans up after them but then he can’t stand it. He wants to kill them. Surely they qualify as non-essential. Ibrahim agrees but he has another request. CS, Joe’s wife, knows too much. They need something sure and sophisticated like a burning car. BB is good at cars. He killed his wife that way. But this must be timed. They are going to the racetracks in the last antique car. It will be their last ride. Ibrahim never wants to know the details.
BB had to click the timer when CS came out of her house and the car was parked in the driveway. The explosion was bigger than planned. The men were killed instantly but CS rolled and lay choking. Fires caught the wood of the house. Alarms were sounded and Joe arrived quickly. He ran into the flames and pulled CS out but as he returned to look for others, the geothermal basement exploded, killing him and destroying the house. Property can be replaced by four people died. Since the house is on its little hill, nothing else was touched. If his beloved son Joe had not died, it would have been a good operation.
BB has never felt like this. Since he adopted Joe as a teenager, he lived through this handsome, brave, kind, hard-working, sexy man. Now he is gone, and it is his fault. He wants to become a woman. He is sick of his dangling impotent penis that abused cadavers. After arguing with Ibrahim, a good scene I must write well, he is sent to Thailand to enjoy gender affirming on boats. People over the age of 50 may have a higher chance of developing blood clots, diabetes, and cancer after starting hormone therapy. Taking estrogen through the skin, such as using a patch, might be safer than other forms of hormone therapy. A doctor may recommend that transgender women over the age of 50 who still have testicles only use testosterone blockers or use lower doses of estrogen. If a person has undergone an orchiectomy or vaginoplasty, they can stop taking testosterone blockers. BB opts to get rid of his penis and testicles but the vaginoplasty need not be perfect. He isn’t crazy about hormones. So he spends money on fashion. Keep it external. But he transforms internally. He is still a psychopath but hates physical violence, preferring poison, sanitizers, drugs, a match here and there. She becomes a better cook. She works with Nikos to expand her repertory to Middle Eastern cuisine. The name Betty suits her better than Bobby, Leo, or Boat Bob. Betty Cocker if she were in a comedy show. But she stopped laughing when Joe died. Her gender dysphoria has cleared up. But she still works for Ibrahim who is now a full-fledged sociopath, ready to kill millions of humans to save the planet or his people. Now that Betty no longer has that weasel between his pants, she has no admiration for Litonya’s body. Jake and BB always hated each other but Jake is getting desperate about his mom’s Alzheimer’s and his PD. His dad dies. He makes friends with Betty and they work together. Litonya is brought in as well to spy on Ibrahim and his STEMGARCHS. They must get these drugs.

Pinches in between: Jake’s dad dies of ALS, his Mom’s Alzheimer’s is worse. Jake is diagnosed with Parkinson’s and Litonya with pulmonary fibrosis. Ibrahim and his family have medical and environmental challenges, but they are privy to the best research. More floods, more landslides, more diseases. The Magma Monsters of the Palisades narrate half the last novel and their presence is visual in cinematic montages.

6. Second turning point at end of Act 2: Jake, Litonya et al are desperate for the drugs to cure neurodegenerative diseases. Jake is so depressed about having to let his mom die of Alzheimer’s and the knowledge he may be getting Lewy Body dementia and Litonya’s fibrosis is worse. Jake becomes a detective with the help of his kids to uncover the crime history of Bobby, Leo, BB, and now Betty. Betty is older and sicker on her eightieth birthday. Jake tells her she must choose exposure over getting on the side of EvergreenEnergy and betraying her boss Ibrahim, head of STEMGARCHS. She is in trouble. Humanity is in trouble. But Betty has a secret weapon—access to drugs to cure neurodegenerative diseases. She is still the chef of the CEO of STEMGARCHS. She agrees to cooperate.

7. Crisis: BB has a fight with Litonya and Jake about STEMGARCHS and must make a choice about Ibrahim and the drugs. Whose side is he on—EE with the kids and their eco-boats or Ibrahim with his money, power, and the STEMGARCHS? What are the options? How can she kill Ibrahim? Where are the best drugs?

8. Climax: Betty cooks a poisoned dinner that she and Ibrahim eat. Ibrahim dies but she struggles as she opens the door.

9. Resolution: Betty gives the drugs to Litonya and Jake, helping save their lives, but as she is dying, they put her on a boat near Inwood saltmarshes so she can rock herself to death as the rocks slide into the Hudson and humanity now has another arsenal of cures for neurodegenerative diseases and another fleet of ecoboats like Noah’s arcs for floods and other climate catastrophes. Jake and Litonya die naturally in 2060 with a seismic seesaw as they are trying a little climb in the Palisades and the igneous rock, the Magma Monsters who narrate half my last novel, slips into the Hudson. The Resurrection is the resumption of the rock cycle and the legacy of the kids to work on the imperfect human brain and ecoboats to tackle climate catastrophes and save humanity.

[Richard McMahon]

Richard’s Basic Structure!

What I’ve learned doing this assignment is… fail to prepare, prepare to fail (or have a weaker script).

Concept: Trapped in a castle, seven life-long friends must fight to the death so that the last one standing can receive a pardon from a foreign Lord and his army.

Opening

Introduction to our characters as they prepare for battle. Hint at the pregnancy. Highlight tensions between characters.

Inciting Incident

The other Irish clans betray ours. The English slaughter almost everyone. Our characters retreat and the English start their pursuit.

By page 10, you know what the movie is about…

The English will stop at nothing to eliminate the last resisters to their rule. Our group of characters, while bonded their whole lives, are now showing signs of weaknesses in their relationships.

First turning point at end of Act 1

Our characters arrive at the island castle where they are quickly surrounded by English forces. They are trapped.

Mid-Point

The English announce the pardon – that the one person left standing inside the castle will be allowed to leave and there will be no consequences for their actions – our characters now understand the situation and turn on one another.

Second turning point at end of Act 2

With only three of our characters left, they try and work out a way forward. They can’t reach agreement. One character does the unthinkable.

Crisis

There is no realistic future for any of our characters. But now two must fight to the death and try to salvage some hope for the future of the Irish people after this situation has ended.

Climax

One character is alive after a gruesome showdown. Instead of taking the pardon, he kills the English general as Celtic reinforcements arrive to the island.

Resolution

The one survivor uses their standing with the people to reunite the Irish and promises a brighter, self-ruled land.

[Elizabeth Koenig]

Elizabeth’s Basic Structure

What I’ve learned: is to GO FAST, as Hal’s always saying (but I’ve had a hard time trying). Because it helps me overcome my perfectionism that slows me WAY WAY down.

Opening: Ed, a super-antsy, strikingly fit old man is on a charter bus with others less-abled, winding through lush grounds to a 5-star retirement estate where Ed leap out, rushes past other old friends waiting to hear a fancy live folk-band performance, everyone commenting “the doctor must be hurrying to his very important work/book”—rushes into his apartment (contrastingly austere, except the fancy shrine to his deceased wife), which he pays elaborate homage to, before jetting past a Freud-style office (But with a computer. It’s screen: Psychiatry Text Book, page one (completely blank). A quick brush of his teeth, nighttime meds (just vitamins), dresses for bed—in a 3 piece suit, then lies down in something that looks like it’s meant to taken directly out and used as a coffin. He crosses his hands over his chest, closes his eyes, only to have them fly back open like Bella in Twilight, as he’s thoroughly alive and majorly annoyed — by an insane pounding on his door.

Inciting Incident: Ed sees a couple dramatically fighting on a city bus—and the woman looks just like his deceased wife when they married! Despite having avoided “couple work” professionally, he protectively tries to help with a piece of ridiculously simple advice—that vaporizes the fight and makes the couple strangely, gushingly grateful. After which, at a loss for words, he shows them his wedding photo and the woman gloms on like glue, saying it’s a “sign”!(a running gag. We don’t know what this means). But, we do know she’s positive she’s found her long-lost grandmother.

Theme: No matter your age, you—and the world—need your love, work and play.

Theme Stated/Know what the movie is about by Pg. 10): old, hippy biker-chick retirement home-mate, Pat, sees Ed at the bus stop, asks why he goes every single day to his wife’s grave, then offers to take him on her motorcycle. Offended when he declines, she calls him “a boring, old goat,” and, over the exciting roar of the bike, “I thought they taught you in shrink school how to live a good, happy life.”

First Turning Point: Grace shows up for the third time at his apartment, distressed, as always, over her latest fight with her fiancé (TBD details harken the TBD TP moment between Grace and Mike). But also with the positive results of a “Grandmommy and Me” genetic test from a hair she snatched off a brush on the shrine, last visit. Ed sends her away with the (running gag) he’s never done couple’s counseling—and by reminding her “Grandmommy is DEAD”. But as he picks up the brush from the shrine, he notices the dusty padlocked box on the shelf below. Picks it up. Shakes. Has never’s wanted to invade Susan’s privacy (or maybe, been afraid of what’s in it). The shaking’s revealed a label beneath a label: “For Albert.”

Midpoint: After “nearly missing” him on many visits to the family home (Ed’s beginning to wonder if Grace’s dad/Susan’s son is real) Mark (who Susan called Albert) shows up. But, after intros and niceties, as Ed’s about to give the man Susan’s box, Mark suddenly clutches his chest and is rushed to the ED. Shaken, the “passing off of the box” now feels like more to Ed than just “checking a box” on the new bucket list he’s made to help him “transition” to the next world. He’s come to really care about Grace, Mike, the rest of the family… (TBD: particular MP moments for the other ensemble characters)

Second Turning Point: in a hospital, surrounded by family and retirement home friends, Mark looks through travel photos from the box (see his character logline, earlier assignment, to understand this), reads Susan’s letter to him aloud before he shockingly, with a thoroughly satisfied grin on his face—dies. Grace cries as Linda rages that the “damn dick” was only in Grace’s life for a total of two weeks—aside from the 2 minutes it spent siring her. Mike, in typical headset, is obliviously playing a iPad shooter game, screen-mirrored on the TV, clues in that something is amiss when Linda grabs the controls for “something to shoot.” Except—the jostling shifts the screen to the video-recording of Grace’s Teen Theater production: the song “Play”from Finding Neverland. And everyone but Ed and Mark, start to movingly sing-and-dance, along. Which is too much for Ed, who’s been forced back, back, to his own absentee dad’s identical early death. Still unable to break his stiff-analytic-‘frame’- way of connecting to everyone, he rushes out. (TBD- other character TP particulars)

Crisis: having advised Grace to go ahead with the wedding, Ed plans to check off the final box on his new bucket list by attending the ceremony—so he can return to his old, quiet life: his death watch. On the wedding day, multiple problems arise—and get handled by retirement home characters—but Grace takes this as the final “sign” (of 3 or 4 so far), that we now learn means she shouldn’t get married. Ed finally breaks his therapeutic frame. In a mutual grieving, tearful conversation, he shares/works through how he “knew” at 12: that it was his rock music that killed his dad, on the very day he finally showed back up. Feeling how “right” of a grandfather figure Ed is, (as opposed to her “father figure” father), Grace, finally feels how right Mike is, and can get married.

Climax: The delay in wedding (from everything above) has given the musicians time to get stoned, and unable to play. A kick-in-the ass prompt by Jewels, and a gentle one by biker-chick, Pat, gets Ed to make a phone call, and we see two old hippies, with musical instruments, leave the warehouse we (in Mini Movies 1&2) saw Ed go into daily. Next we see them with Ed behind the alter, where Mike and Jewels (a transforming character/minister, hint-of-a future romance for Ed) await. Ed and the other hippy musicians play a Jimi Henderix-esque cover of the Wedding March as a beaming Grace follows her kids: 12 year old Adam-turned-Eve (in dresses A-E designed) and 3 year-old Kristian (very playfully, details TBD) down the isle. (Possibly also a musical dancing/singing of Grace’s theater kids in the audience to a classic rock version of some gentle love song) during the kiss.

Resolution: Series of Shots: Grace and Mike, on their honeymoon, playing in only “grown-up ways” without their kids. Ed and Jewels with the kids, placing flowers on Susan’s grave—then on neighboring Jimi Hendrix’s (that in MM 1 & 2 he always quickly passed). Ed and Jewels at Disney World (the kids playing with residents at the retirement home), Ed dictating his book into his phone on various rides, and taking a toke from Jewels. Each of the other character resolutions as described in their character loglines above, in whatever order makes sense.

[Pablo Soriano]

Pablo Soriano’s Basic Structure

What I learned doing this assignment: I learned that I didn’t have a clear idea of how the story would play out. I still don’t really. But this forced me to come up with a step by step story structure. I really had to sit and think about what happens next. I may very well come back and change things, but this feels like a decent start.

1. Opening

Buried in debt due to her deadbeat husband’s drinking and gambling, Irma takes what little money she has to buy bus tickets out of their small, Mexican village to Texas where she and her two young boys can start a new life. Meanwhile, a young man named Miguel in El Paso, TX builds a drone.

2. Inciting Incident

When her husband is murdered and her home is burglarized by the bookies/gangsters that he owed money to, the bus tickets are destroyed. No longer feeling safe, she decides to take her sons across the border herself, joining a caravan of migrants. Miguel tests his new drone back in Texas.

3. By page 10, you know what the movie is about.

Irma and her sons set out with a small caravan through the Chihuahua Desert. A fleet of drones stealthily records their every move. The one controlling these drones is Frank Kazakowski, an Alt-Right YouTube Pundit, and his production team who are secretly live-streaming the Mexican migration on the dark web. They take bets from viewers to see which immigrant makes it the furthest before they notify the authorities of their location. Miguel is one of these viewers and places bets on several “contestants”. He launches his homemade drone towards the direction of the action.

4. First turning point at end of Act 1

When the caravan discovers the drones are following them, many branch out and split up to avoid being captured with the group. Irma reluctantly breaks away from the caravan as she cannot risk being sent back to her village.

5. Mid-Point

As they make their way to Texas, the live-stream projects the odds of the certain individuals that are amongst the caravan as well as those that broke away. Irma was one of these individuals as a drone follows her. After her odds were projected as extremely low, Miguel makes a substantial bet on Irma. Using his homemade drone, he begins to drop off water bottles and some food near their location. Before Irma can object, her youngest son already finishes a bottle of water. When it is clear that it is not contaminated or poisoned, Irma begins to follow the breadcrumbs of water and supplies into safer routes towards Texas.

6. Second turning point at end of Act 2

After Miguel’s drone is spotted by the live-stream, Frank sends the drone assigned to Irma to follow Miguel’s back to his home in El Paso when it needs to recharge. Miguel catches wind of this and right before revealing his exact location, he kamikaze crashes his drone into the other to take it down. This gives Irma a small window of time to cross the border undetected. But now Miguel is unable to provide any supplies as water is running low.

7. Crisis

Irma’s youngest son slips and falls off of a rock and severely injures his leg. Famished and exhausted, Irma has to carry her youngest son through the desert. Back at Frank’s headquarters, we see X marks over the faces of several “contestants” as money begins to pour in. As the caravan gets closer to the borderline, Frank gives their exact coordinates to the border patrol. Frank’s team also narrows in on Miguel’s home and sends a couple of goons to take him out. With Irma unable to move quickly, the drones find her and Frank makes another call to the border patrol.

8. Climax

As Frank’s goons break into Miguel’s house, security cameras set up in Miguel’s home get clear pictures of the men, as well as a photo of their license plate. After Miguel is nowhere to be found, the goons leave. When Irma hears the buzz of a drone, she tells her eldest to carry his brother and bolt for the border. She runs a different direction to draw the drone away. After a daring attempt to escape capture, all three are caught by authorities.

9. Resolution

Frank scores another big payday, and as the fleet of drones returns to their makeshift runway, he notices that one is different from the others. He realizes that it looks like Miguel’s only spray painted to look like one of his. He also notices that the camera is still on. Suddenly, police arrive at the scene with an arrest warrant for running a gambling operation and conspiracy to murder. The media is also there to expose Frank for his crimes. Meanwhile, Miguel sits safely in an undisclosed location, looking at Frank on a computer screen as he is handcuffed. It is revealed that Miguel tipped off the authorities and provided them with his own his security camera footage as well as his drone footage of the whole ordeal. With all the documentation, Irma’s entire story has gained national attention as she is praised for her sacrifice by liberals and Latin Americans and vilified by the conservatives and Nationalists. There is an outpour of support as Miguel starts an online fundraiser in her behalf… but embezzles some of it to pay back the money he lost betting on her. Irma, now with enough money, buys three bus tickets to California.

[Robert Smith]

[PS80] DAY 5 BOB SMITH’s BASIC STRUCTURE.

“What I’ve learned doing this assignment is …?” The importance of working from a clear well constructed outline following a definite formula and template.

1. CONCEPT IN A LOGLINE:

Working title: “’Moths Around a Flame’: he Making of The Blue Angel’.”

LOGLINE: Amid the decadence of Weimar Berlin, a prominent film director’s (Josef von Sternberg) grooming of an unknown (Marlene Dietrich) for superstardom becomes an adulterous affair that parallels the story of the erotic thriller they are filming (“The Blue Angel”) in which a professsor’s infatuation with a Cabaret showgirl leads to his ruin, plus, the lives of the actors have trajectories that seem to be life imitating art in their resulting feuds, choices, and fates.

2. PRESENT YOUR STORY SHOWING EACH PART OF THE 9-BEAT STRUCTUE: r

1. OPENING: July 1945, Post-war Berlin: Out of the rubble the figure of a man emerges brandishing an Oscar statuette, he shouts at the US Troop installation before him, “Don’t shoot! Don’t shoot! I have won an Oscar!” US troops take him into custody and discover that he is the German actor, Emil Jannings, first Best Actor Oscar winner for ‘The Last Command’ and famous also for his performance in “The Blue Angel” although some of the soldiers say they don’t remember him, but they remember Marlene Dietrich as the star. Jannings grumbles, “I was the star! What you remember is Miss Dietrich’s legs!” They ask what happened to him since then, he indicates that he was “Artist of the State” under the Nazis. The US Commander says that he will have to undergo denazification. But he continues to tell his story which goes back to what happened during the filming of the erotic thriller, “The Blue Angel,” based on the Novel, “Professor Unrat” by Heinrich Mann.

2. INCITING INCIDENT: Marlene Dietrich, an unknown, auditions for the part of the Cabaret show girl, Lola Lola. Josef von Sternberg, the Director, screens her audition for the studio executives and Emil Jannings, and says he will cast her in the role of the Cabaret showgirl Lola Lola, who is the love interest of Professor Rath (played by Jannings) whose infatuation with her leads to his ruination. Von Sternberg’s choice is met with opposition from everyone involved in the production who were hoping for an established actress in the part. But von Sternberg insists that he will work with no other actress but Dietrich. He says she is a novice and he will coach her for the part and the stardom he believes can be hers. Jannings says, “But remember, I am the star of this film.”

3. BY PAGE 10: Von Sternberg is spending an inordinate amount of time with Dietrich in coaching her for the role and grooming her for stardom. He tells Dietrich to lose weight. She invites him to the Sabri Mahir Boxing Studio, where she keeps in shape and can get into the better shape von Sternberg desires with intensive boxing exercises under Mahir, her trainer. She introduces von Sternberg to Mahir and also her friend Carola Neher, also a boxer, and now a cast member of Berthold Brecht’s “Three Penny Opera.” She invites Carola to a boxing match and knocks her out with her lethal right hook which impresses von Sternberg. She then invites Carola to join her and von Sternberg for a visit to “the Berlin of Lola Lola” where they can meet the “Einstein of Sex” Dr. Magnus Hirschfeld, a sexologist.

4. FIRST TURNING POINT IN ACT ONE: At the Club Silhouette, Carola, Marlene and von Sternberg meet Dr. Hirschfeld who advocates for gay rights and greater freedom in matters of sex. While Dietrich sits on von Sternberg’s lap, in a moment to be reenacted in The film “Morocco,” Marlene Dietrich reaches over and kisses Carola Neher which makes Dietrich the more attractive to von Sternberg. Marlene orders champagne for everybody in the club in celebration of her being cast as Lola Lola in “The Blue Angel.” However, the celebration is cut short. A group of Nazis marching in the street hurl rocks through the windows of the Club Silhouette. Hirshfeld remarks, “If those Nazis take over, it will be all over for homosexuals and for Jews. And I am both!” Von Sternberg says, “They will take over the movie business, too. Well, there is work in Hollywood, (to Marlene, he says) “After ‘Blue Angel,’ that’s where I am taking you.”

5. MIDPOINT: Von Sternberg’s wife (Riva Royce) confronts him about his relationship with Marlene Dietrich. She says, “Why don’t you divorce me and marry her?” He replies, “I’d sooner share a telephone booth with a cobra.”

6. SECOND TURNING POINT AT END OF ACT TWO: Emil Jannings and novelist,

Heinrich Mann watch some dailies. Mann complains that the whole story of his novel

(Professor Unrat) on which “The Blue Angel is based, is subverted by Miss Dietrich’s

legs. Emil Jannings agrees and they go to complain directly to von Sternberg,

Jannings particularly harboring the grievance that he is upstaged by Dietrich while he

is the star. And that all his (von Sternberg’s direction is honed in on Dietrich while he

feels that their collaborative spirit that they had in earlier films has eroded. Von

Sternberg explains that he (Jannings) is the mature actor and Dietrich needs the

attention.

Jannings pays a visit to Alfred Hugenberg, the studio chief, and states his anxiety about

his future. Jannings is convinced that he has no future in Hollywood because, he has

found out the hard way that his German accent is not working for “talkies.”

Hugenberg is a supporter of the Nazis and says to Jannings that he has a

future in Germany when the Nazis take over. He tells him that he knows Goebbels is an

admirer.

7. CRISIS: In one scene, Jannings’ character is supposed to strangle Dietrich’s character. Jannings over acts it and actually strangles Dietrich, bruising her. She says to von Sternberg, “I played along for the sake of the scene but I could have decked him with my right hook. Next time he tries it, that’s what I’ll do!” She spews her thoughts that she has kept to herself throughout the film, e.g., that Jannings is a sullen egotistical fool and an over-acting ham.

Von Sternberg says to both Dietrich and Jannings, “’The Blue Angel is about to wrap.

He need actors who see each other as partners to make a work of art and now put on

the finishing touches.”

8. CLIMAX: The final scenes are filmed: Marlene singing her singnature song, “Falling in Love Again,” which includes title line: “Men cluster to me like Moths around a flame. And if their wings are burned, I know I’m not to blame.”

Jannings then enacts the tragic end of the Professor, as he dies clinging to his desk in his old class room.

9. Closing Title Cards:

Josef von Sternberg and Marlene Dietrich went to Hollywood and for the next decade created many acclaimed motion pictures.

Emil Jannings after 1945 underwent denazification. He would never act again and died in 1950 at age 65..

<br clear=”all”>

• This reply was modified 3 years, 7 months ago by  Robert Smith. Reason: Misspelling

[Amy Falkofske]

PS80 Amy’s Basic Structure

What I learned doing this assignment is that in looking at the examples provided if you have these 9 beats and they are strong, then you have the basis for a strong story.

Note: I realized that by focusing on the relationship between Andrea and Meagan that I was neglecting the important relationship between Andre and Josh, so my character structure is now romantic triangle and my plot is mostly love but kind of combined with rivalry.

Logline: A nationally known newscaster who has been neglecting her family has her DNA altered when she travels back in time. When she gets back, she must compete with her husband, Josh’s ex-girlfriend who has inserted herself into her life in the year that she’s been gone.

Opening: Andrea lives an exciting life as a newscaster on a national network. She works too much and never sees her family.

Inciting incident: Andrea interviews a science professor at a local college about time travel and “accidently” gets sent back in time to when she was single.

Page 10: Andrea arrives back in the present with her DNA altered. She no longer looks like herself.

End of Act 1: Andrea realizes a year has passed. Everyone assumed she was dead and her husband, Josh has gotten together with a girlfriend from his past, Meagan.

Mid-point: Andrea has done some digging and comes to the realization that Meagan conspired with the professor to send her back in time.

End of Act 2-Andrea tries to send Meagan back in time but fails.

Crisis-Although Andrea succeeds in convincing Josh and her two kids that she’s who she says she is, they confess that they are happier with Meagan than they were with her.

Climax: Andrea (who’s convinced a colleague of her true identity) does an expose on the professor and gets him to confess on air that he conspired with Meagan to send her back in time. Andrea admits to neglecting her family and resigns on air. Josh and the kids see the report and have a change of heart about Andrea.

Resolution: Meagan and the professor get arrested. Andrea’s DNA changes back to what it was now that she’s has learned what she needed to learn and she and Josh and her kids are reunited.

[Michelle Damis]

PS80 Michelle Damis Basic Structure

What I’ve learned doing this assignment is that I think outlining structure feels more natural to me. I tend to be very strategic with business plans and working backwards to create a tangible action list that can actually work in a given timeline. This will be my second script….I wrote the first one from ground zero….but I did a lot of outlining that seemed to really help me progress with clarity.

Tell us your concept in a logline. Parents desperate to be empty-nesters unknowingly trade their soul-sucking 20-something daughter for a blood-sucking tenant.

1. Opening: We meet Ted the Vampire and get to know him (VO background life info), going to a nightclub with a vampire friend. We meet Nina at the same nightclub, learn her “life” thru conversation with friend. (the two characters parallel somewhat)
2. Inciting Incident: Ted comes home to notification of demolition. Parents have an epiphany “anybody” would be better than her…get a tenant so they can afford to pay Ninas rent in the city.
3. By page 10, you know what the movie is about: Parents interviewing possible tenants, Ted interviews…and they adore him. Nina is thrilled to get to move out but not happy with their choice, she kinda recognizes him, but can’t put her finger on it.
4. First turning point at end of Act 1 Ted learns he can’t kill landlord or family, starting to become fond…feeling like a family, Nina becoming jealous and suspicious.
5. Mid-Point: Nina discovers Ted is a vampire, goes to her parents, who don’t believe her. One or some of Jim and Marins friends go missing.
6. Second turning point at end of Act 2: Nina confronts Ted, Elder vampires confront Ted-he is cornered.
7. Crisis: Ted wants to protect the family, but he doesn’t want to leave. Marin and Nina go missing. Ted has to tell Jim, Jim asks Ted to turn him to help save his wife and daughter. Ted says No-he promises to save them.
8. Climax: Marin and Nina are tied up together, Why Nina is so angry at her mother comes out after years (explaining her terrible behavior) Things go VERY BAD. Ted has to turn Jim to save them.
9. Resolution choice A.) they are saved and Ted sacrifices himself so that Jim turns back…the family is whole again. B.) they are saved, Ted sacrifices himself to turn Jim back and in doing so his selfless act turns him back to human. C.) they all turn and become a vampire family D.) They all turn, then Ted sacrifices himself to turn them back. They all wake up in their beds…was it a dream?

[Kelli Cooke]

What I’ve learned is I still have a long way to go in the learning to put together my thoughts in an outline!!

My concept is You Can’t Go Home. Working with the idea that where we grow up is often an illusion never as good or as bad as one remembers. Especially when a traumatic event make one leave and stay away.

Opening: Recently divorced woman returns to her hometown to take care of a ageing parent that needs help.

Inciting Incident: reopening a past hurt in her stroll down memory lane when she runs into someone who deeply

hurt her. She realizes that memory no longer holds her hostage.

By page 10 she’s reconnected with old friends from high school, some she’s outgrown, some she finds more in common with now through the growth that happens as one comes into adulthood, and a unlikely love triangle begins to unfold.

The close chum and the former quarterback jock both begin to attempt to woo her. The attentions of one she is flattered by the attentions of the other she is oblivious of.

mid point: inject new information that casts a shadow on both suitors (undecided what this is at the moment, still developing what this will look like for her)

2nd turn: one of the suitors hasn’t been honest about something that is very important to our leading lady, is found out

Crisis: the parents condition worsens or miraculously improves or there is a family falling out that brings some drama to

send the main character away

Climax: in

Resolution: progress

[Erin Danly]

Erin’s Basic Structure

What I learned doing today’s assignment is: This whole assignment was tough but I’m completely stuck when it comes to the opening – I can’t think of anything that’s especially compelling that’s unique to this story. I’ll need to keep revisiting this outline as we continue on and I have a clearer picture in my mind.

Concept: An uptight cop travels back in time to convince a fun-loving version of himself – who also travelled back in time – to return to his mission and prevent WW3

1. Opening – [not sure yet]

2. Inciting incident – Uptight is an uptight cop in the near future and his Captain calls him to office and says Uptight is being sent back in time to 2023 to work with another version of himself, who was also sent back in time, on a top-secret mission to stop WW3. They need Uptight to figure out what’s gone wrong and why the other version of himself isn’t doing his job.

3. By page 10, you know what the movie is about – This is a buddy cop comedy, where Uptight has to work with Fun (a more relaxed, less work-focused version of himself who’s a couple years older), to carry out their mission, but it’s going to be challenging and be a real clash of personalities

4. First turning point at end of Act 1 – as part of their mission, they have to get close to an eccentric tech billionaire entrepreneur who has plans to dominate the solar system; at this turning point, they discover the entrepreneur’s plan is not what they thought [but not sure yet]

5. Mid-Point – Fun finally bursts Uptight’s bubble about what’s going on; did he really think that they sent one cop to stop a devastating nuclear war? Come on. This has been a set up by their Captain all along and the Captain has been using Uptight/Fun to do something illicit. They still need to complete the mission as it’s the only way to be able to travel back to their original timelines. Uptight also learns that in between his timeline and Fun’s timeline, his/their wife left, which is devastating to Uptight. Also, this whole time, Uptight has been calling the shot, resisting Fun’s suggestions at every turn.

6. Second turning point at the end of Act 2 – Here’s where Uptight finally gives in and lets Fun call the shots, and Uptight finally learns the value of improvising, not being so rigid, being more loose, etc., and that’s when they see real success

7. Crisis – The Captain unexpectedly shows up in this earlier time, and there’s a chance for a showdown and to find out what this was really all about and why. Uptight has to choose between two things: Fight the Captain and prevent the mission from being carried out, since now he knows that it’s not the mission he originally thought it was (the consequence of this decision is losing the chance to be able to travel forward/back to his original timeline in the future) OR to carry out the mission, which allows him to go to his original timeline, and resume his life with the hope/possibility of saving his marriage to his wife whom he loves (the consequence of this decision is living with the repercussions of completing the mission, which I haven’t quite figured out yet)

8. Climax – this is the showdown between Uptight & Fun and their Captain & his entourage of bad guys.

9. Resolution – Fun stays in the past with this new woman he’s found that he loves. Uptight is able to go back to the future with a chance to save his marriage now that he’s a changed man with more understanding, and of course he’s also saved the world from some undesirable fate.

[Armand Petrikowski]

Armand’s Basic Structure!

What I’ve learned doing this assignment is…

Three act structure is the Hollywood standard. Act 1 is the setup. Act 2 is the journey and main conflict. Act 3 Protagonist must face his greatest fear. “Send your protag up in the tree in Act One, throw rocks at him In Act Two, and let him discover how to get down in Act Three.”

9-beat Hollywood structure

Opening
Inciting Incident
By page 10, you know what the movie is about
First turning point by end of act 1
Midpoint
Second turning point by end of act 2
Crisis
Climax
Resolution

People should be able to tell what’s going on in this script by page 10.

1. Tell us your concept in a logline.

A ghost haunting the house where he was murdered is accidentally brought back to life by the teen girl who lives there, just as the killer who was never caught returns for a new spree. Now is up to the revived ghost to protect the living and find out why he died.

2. Present your story, showing each part of the 9-beat structure as I did in the two examples. Give us each of these:

1. Opening

A montage introduces us to the ghost’s routine scaring those who move to the house where he was murdered to amuse himself. The ghost has nightmares of his masked killer (in slasher movie style) chasing him around the house and murdering him. The nightmares manifest more strongly closer to the night he was murdered, which is coming up.

2. Inciting Incident

The ghost realizes he can’t scare the teen girl who just moved in with her parents and adult sister.

3. By page 10, you know what the movie is about.

The teen girl and her friends plan to communicate with the ghost on the anniversary of his murder. The unknown killer is seen elsewhere plotting a new killing spree.

4. First turning point at end of Act 1

5. Mid-Point

6. Second turning point at end of Act 2

7. Crisis

8. Climax

9. Resolution

[Janeen Johnson]

PS 80 Janeen’s Basic Structure

What I’ve learned doing this assignment is that the necessary questions have shaped the plot, but that one or more of them will need to be explored and included in every scene in the screenplay to provide the tension and depth required.

Working Title: Thoughts and Prayers

1. Concept:

A wealthy fashionista learns mind control techniques and uses them to empower women at a shelter to take action against their abusers. As her ability to empower the abused grows stronger, the actions taken against the abusers turn deadly.

2. 9 Beat Structure

1. Opening: The fashionista leaves a Silva Mind Control class and donates money and clothes at a women’s shelter where she meets her favorite designer’s abused wife and kids, befriending them.

2. Inciting Incident: While providing feedback to the fussy designer at his house, the fashionista secretly leaves a book on the Silva method for the wife. The wife gives her the signal for “help” and the fashionista calls the police. As the arrest happens, a verbal contest between the fashionista and designer erupts.

3. By page 10, what the movie is about: The fashion designer cuts all ties with the fashionista and gets a restraining order against her for harassment. The wife has refused to testify so charges have been dropped on the designer. The fashionista must find another way to help the abused wife.

4. First turning point at end of Act 1: The fashionista talks to her book club about how she can now help the woman. The book club includes a cop, a lawyer, an ER nurse and the woman running the shelter. Since outside interference often makes things worse, they agree to use mind control techniques to help women in danger.

5. Mid-Point: Since Silva says you cannot use his techniques to hurt others, they devise ways to use them to fortify the women in the shelter before they leave. Three women have found the courage to leave their abusers, some striking back with violence, and the police have found reasons to lock up the abusers.

6. Second turning point at end of Act 2: The designer puts his wife in the ER in critical condition. The book club uses all of their efforts to empower the her to protect herself and her children. After his next minor abuse, she drugs her husband’s meal with the pain pills they gave her at the ER and kills him with a kitchen knife.

7. Crisis: The group rallies around her when the call comes in to the police but the police charge the book club as accessories to the murder because the cop in the group has told her partner about the prior successes they have had in getting women to safely leave their abusive spouses. The partner thinks they’ve taken it too far.

8. Climax: At court, the group swears that they haven’t talked to the woman directly — ever — and that all they have done is offer “thoughts and prayers”. In a dramatic court battle discussing the difference between their techniques and “thoughts and prayers”, the lawyer argues that there is no proof and no way “to prove” that sending supportive intentional thoughts to someone concretely affects their actions. They are not accessories.

9. Resolution: After the drama in the courtroom, the judge rules in the book club’s favor and the rest of the club meets the designer’s wife for the first time. She asks to join the club.

[Wilke Durand]

Wilke’s Basic structure

Concept: Struggling teenage artist with a chip on her shoulder becomes a surrogate mother to pay the rent, but when she finds out the billionaire couple is part of a pedophile network, she must run for her life and that of her unborn child.

1. OPENING

Libby ( 18) in the doctor’s office has a black eye but is examined by a gynecologist. He asks her all kinds of questions about her family situation, background, how her apartment looks like, etc. Weird questions for a gynecologist. – When she gets back home her drunk boyfriend ambushes her and hits her. Apparently, this is a recurring thing and she undergoes it meekly. He falls asleep and she moves out of her boyfriend’s apartment. The only furniture she takes with her is a few paintings and her painting gear. She roams the streets of NYC and asks a friend if she can stay for a while.

2. THE INCITING INCIDENT

Libby gets a call and goes back to the gynecologist it turns out it’s a surrogate mother’s office and Libby decides to go for it. Meets with the couple she’s carrying the baby for. They are awfully nice to her. Because she doesn’t have her own apartment they ask her to come live with them. They introduce her to a well-known billionaire.

4. FIRST TURNING POINT AT THE END OF ACT ONE

She overhears conversations with billionaires and checks their computers. She asks a friend for help to access the darknet. She goes to the police, but they suspect her to have second thoughts about the surrogacy. The couple is very disappointed in her. This is not the first time they are disappointed by the surrogate mother. They bring her to the billionaire where she finds out she can’t leave the island by herself.

5. MID-POINT

She manages to escape, but she is chased by the gunmen of the couple and the billionaire couple. With new evidence, she goes to the police, but they tell her to get lost. It’s not enough evidence and with her drug abusive past, it’s hard for them to believe her. They have already called them and asked if they would bring her and their baby back. But when the girl who helped her reaches out she needs to go there. She now has to make a choice: will she go back to save the girl or will she run as far away as she can. She decides to go back.

6. SECOND TURNING POINT AT END OF ACT TWO

The girl that helped her is tortured and raped by the billionaire and his wife to give information about her whereabouts. When she arrives the girl has disappeared.

7. CRISIS

8 months pregnant she tries to find the girl that helped her, but instead, she finds her grave and flees, but captured.

8. CLIMAX

Examined by the gynecologist and prepared for a caesarian she manages to grab a knife and stab the doctor. She puts the billionaire’s wife a knife to her throat.

9. RESOLUTION

The female police officer who didn’t believe her at first comes to her rescue. The baby is born. The couple is arrested. The man commits suicide in his cell and the woman is still in prison. The policewoman takes her in and for the first time she has a stable family.

[Claudia Wolfkind]

Claudia’s Basic Structure

What I’ve learned doing this assignment…. I’ve wanted to write this script for many years… I’ve learned that I had the concept but didn’t have the story! I’m not thrilled with this outline, but over the next several days it will flesh out and become more of what I envisioned this story could become.

Concept: After a cynical agnostic FBI agent, who is assigned to investigate a popular televangelist for embezzlement, uncovers a plot by his own agency and a top politician to take down the man and his ministry, he enlists the minister’s help to expose the truth.

Opening: Dark Apartment, dark bedroom; an alarm clock rouses Daniel awake, his feet hit the bottles of alcohol he drank the previous night.

Inciting Incident: At the FBI office they are watching the mob boss Daniel tried to put away walking out of a court room, all smiles. Daniel’s boss yells for him to get in his office. He tells him of a case – and it’s his last chance to redeem himself before being shipped off to Duluth (a field office where FBI agent’s careers go to die).

Page 10 / what the movie’s about: The truth is risking everything for

1st TP: Heads to New Orleans. Sees Jake with local mob boss.

Midpoint: Daniel is “visited” / warned by mob boss to stay away from Jake.

2^nd TP: Realizes Thumb drive is a ruse/it’s the Govt and the FBI coordinating.

Crisis: His daughter is kidnapped to make him stop

Climax: With Jake’s help, he gets his daughter back

Resolution: Guilty are arrested; Fishing Trip

[Sung-Ju Lee]

[ProSeries #80] Suya Lee’s Basic Structure!

Outlining & Your Character Structure Day 5

Intro to Basic Structure

“What I learned doing this assignment is…?”

Although there are a lot of screenwriting templates out there, Hollywood still works in the 3 Act structure. I have used a lot of the templates to write other stuff. They give you different ideas, and ways to structuring the story. I am also doing the Action module, and I seem to refer back to that, too. Maybe, this is very much Action-focused, and will improve the outline as I go along.

Logline:

When a group of old timers at a veteran’s retirement home win the mega lottery, they buy an old cruise ship to sail around the world with their extended families, but pirates attack their ship in South-East Asia and the veterans must face the last battle of their lives to save their families.

9-Beat Structure:

1. Opening: The group of four old timers at the veterans retirement gather in front of the TV, watch the mega lottery draw. Some old timers (with spouses) return from a wonderful cruise (with their extended families), and say they can’t wait until the next time cruise – they feel young, revigorated, full of life. The group of four win the mega lottery that night.

2. Inciting Incident: They buy an old, second-hand small cruise ship (99 passengers cruise ship). It was going off to India to be sold as scrap metal (it’s the graveyard for delisted ships). Although they won the mega lottery, they are still cautious with their money. Note: When the Veterans buy the cruise ship, it doesn’t have an armoury with guns and ammunition.

3. By page 10, you know what the movie is about: They call their extended families to invite them on a trip of a lifetime, an around the world cruise.

4. First turning point at end of Act 1: The four Veterans and their extended families are cruising out of Hawaii. But, one of the cruise ship crew members calls the Pirates in the South-East Asia area about their cruise ship and saying they should kidnap these old timers for easy ransom money. There are two boats, with 5 Pirates each. There is a Pirate leader for each of the boats. The Pirates pretend to seek refuge on the cruise ship. The Veterans and their families welcome and take care of the Pirates. Some of the Veterans and families are swimming nearby. Then, the Pirates turn the tables and bring out their guns, kidnap the grandchildren, demand money. They break the ship’s radio so the Veterans can’t call for help. A fight ensues, but the Veterans give up. During the fight, the Pirates had shot everywhere on the ship, and it starts to sink (although, no one knows it just yet). Agree to give the Pirates the ransom money. But, the internet gets disabled by one of the Veterans.

5. Mid-Point: One of the Pirates is trying to fix the internet at the top of the ship. Families hide in various rooms since they know the layout of the ship. A mini-fire breaks out in the engine room, due to a stray bullet. Some of the Pirates and Family members (not children) get injured, some die. One of the Family members is a doctor, and takes care of the injured. The Pirates’ two boats had been sabotaged. They can’t figure out how to release the ship’s tender boats to the water. The Pirates find out that the Veterans had won the mega lottery, so demand all of the money now.

6. Second turning point at end of Act 2: The Veterans overhear that one of the young Pirates is the son of one the Pirate leader’s. The Veterans kidnap the son. The Veterans want their grandchildren back, and for the Pirates to leave. The Veterans say they know how to release the ship’s tender boats. The Pirates call for back-up. One of the crew members overhears the Pirates say they are going to kill everyone on the ship. Another boat comes with more Pirates. But, they fight amongst themselves. Two groups against one group. The two groups want the money. While the one group wants the Pirate’s leader’s son back. More fighting, more bullets go into the ship, more damage to the ship. One Veteran gets one of the Pirate’s radios.

7. Crisis: A blast in the engine room. A fire engulfs the ship. They all fight as the ship is sinking. Fight in submerged water. The Veterans use shark spears, bowling balls, knives, flare guns, fire extinguishers, etc. (whatever is on the ship) to fight the Pirates. The Pirate on top of the ship has fixed the internet. One of the Veterans gets blackmailed, and tries to transfer the money.

8. Climax: During the last final fight between the Veterans and the Pirates, the Veterans trap the Pirates in various rooms. They know which rooms have locks on the outside. The Pirates run out of ammunition. The ship sinks with the Pirates still onboard in trapped rooms. They drown.

9. Resolution: Veterans and families get on the
tender boats. One Veteran still had the Pirate’s radio and calls for help. A
local fishing boat gets the call, and sends the alarm.

[Armand Petrikowski]

Armand’s Basic Structure!

What I’ve learned doing this assignment is…

Three act structure is the Hollywood standard. Act 1 is the setup. Act 2 is the journey and main conflict. Act 3 Protagonist must face his greatest fear. “Send your protag up in the tree in Act One, throw rocks at him In Act Two, and let him discover how to get down in Act Three.”

9-beat Hollywood structure

Opening

Inciting Incident

By page 10, you know what the movie is about

First turning point by end of act 1

Midpoint

Second turning point by end of act 2

Crisis

Climax

Resolution

People should be able to tell what’s going on in this script by page 10.

1. Tell us your concept in a logline.

A ghost haunting the house where he was murdered is accidentally brought back to life by the teen girl who lives there, just as the killer who was never caught returns for a new spree. Now is up to the revived ghost to protect the living and find out why he died.

2. Present your story, showing each part of the 9-beat structure as I did in the two examples. Give us each of these:

1. Opening

A montage introduces us to the ghost’s routine scaring those who move to the house where he was murdered to amuse himself. The ghost has nightmares of his masked killer (in slasher movie style) chasing him around the house and murdering him. The nightmares manifest more strongly closer to the night he was murdered, which is coming up.

2. Inciting Incident

The ghost realizes he can’t scare the teen girl who just moved in with her parents and adult sister.

3. By page 10, you know what the movie is about.

The teen girl and her friends plan to communicate with the ghost on the anniversary of his murder. The unknown killer is seen elsewhere plotting a new killing spree.

4. First turning point at end of Act 1

5. Mid-Point

6. Second turning point at end of Act 2

7. Crisis

8. Climax

9. Resolution

Ghost unmasks his killer, and lets his new life begin outside the murder house.

[Jennifer McCay]

[PS80] Jennifer’s Basic Structure!

WHAT I LEARNED:

I will confess that I’ve read nearly every major book on screenwriting out there. What I am bad about is just getting the writing done (excluding the reality that I’m having to work hard to find any time at all to write in the midst of a difficult schedule, which is not the same thing). I am grateful to be pushed into doing the basic work to nail down the plot of my screenplay here because it gets me out of my head/conscious thinking and into the creative work itself, which is not a conscious process at all and just flows. It is also really helpful to focus on outlining the structure because I see problems from the outset that I can prevent in advance. I’m also seeing that I may need a narrator or a character built in to add “heart” to this story because the main character is beautiful but also smug and mean. This is something I need to figure out.

CONCEPT:

A high school overachiever will do literally anything to beat her rival and win a prestigious award guaranteed to get her into her dream college — even commit murder.

OPENING:

Jessica and Amanda are classmates, and Ethan is an academic rival from a nearby high school. They compete in the nationally renowned Young Philosophers Think-off, debating heatedly and showing they are not your average high school kids until the judges declare Jessica the winner, which she accepts with a smug grin. But Amanda and Ethan are neck and neck with her, and it’s clear they’re all trying to be best of the best to get into the same top university, Chambers University, on their way to becoming top in their respective fields.

INCITING INCIDENT:

A prestigious new scholarship competition for one lucky junior is announced guaranteeing not just admission, but a full four-year ride to Chambers and mentoring to make sure the student soars ahead; the focus is on personal service/sacrifice. Jessica processes her competition and realizes this is her chance to get ahead despite her complete disregard for other people’s feelings to date. She, Amanda, and Ethan are the clear frontrunners, though Amanda and Ethan both volunteer already and are decent humans underneath all the competitiveness. But how can Jessica set herself apart by looking the part of a good citizen?

BY PAGE 10:

We know that Jessica is on a mission to win at the competition and life in general at all costs. (We just don’t know which costs that entails yet.) She has her mother as an ally.

FIRST TURNING PT AT END OF ACT 1:

The first phase of the scholarship competition requires applicants to complete a service project (TBC – to be confirmed). During Jessica’s project, she literally forces someone out of the way whom she’s technically there to help and helps eliminate one of her competitors via a technicality in an underhanded way (TBC) — just to make herself look better to the judges.

MIDPOINT:

Semifinalists in scholarship are announced. Jessica, Amanda, and Ethan are on the short list. Jessica shows she’s willing to do whatever it takes while battling out another academic competition with Amanda and Ethan to prove her superiority. Amanda and Ethan are starting to team up to fight her despite finding each other repulsive otherwise.

SECOND TURNING PT AT END OF ACT 2:

After “helping” another competitor get disqualified for the competition, Jessica realizes that just beating or eliminating her opponents isn’t actually making her look good in the eyes of the scholarship committee. She has to take drastic action and starts plotting to eliminate the competition in a bigger way while looking far more decent than she technically is. Step 1: Engage Amanda and Ethan as friends in hopes it will reflect well on her. Right now Amanda and Ethan are still ahead as if the judges can smell that they’re better humans.

CRISIS:

Jessica has steadily been “helping” other competitors get disqualified in funny, torturous ways that she takes secret pride in. Now all other students besides Jessica, Amanda, and Ethan have been eliminated from the competition. As the final days of the competition near, Jessica is more committed to winning than ever but feels it’s her darkest day because she can’t measure up to Amanda or Ethan, who have bested her in a number of ways lately. Jessica contemplates throwing in the towel on life until her mother walks in and gives her a creepy pep talk. Amanda or Ethan (or both? maybe they’ve teamed up?) have resisted her pleas for friendship, though she’s wearing them down. What can she do to push her application over the edge? She wracks her brain and comes up with a way that she thinks she can disqualify Ethan. But that will still leave Amanda.

CLIMAX:

Jessica is on a mission to win now at all costs. First task: eliminate Ethan, which involves some sort of forgery (or other misdeed TBC) and is harder than anticipated. It works, but Amanda is still there and definitely a few points ahead of her. But Ethan is on to her now, and he realizes what Jessica is willing to do and tries to warn Amanda. Jessica catches on and finds a way to truly eliminate Ethan forever — killing him before he can get to Amanda in a way she won’t get caught. She then has an argument with Amanda at a park. Amanda shoves Jessica, but Jessica dodges her such that Amanda loses her balance and slips off the side of the cliff. Jessica could help her in the moment but weighs her options – help Amanda and look like a good Samaritan, which would win her points in the competition? Or let Amanda fall. We then see Jessica walking away, a self-satisfied look on her face, as Amanda struggles and slips.

RESOLUTION:

Jessica attends both rivals’ funerals and says cryptic things revealing her role in their deaths that no one recognizes. Jessica wins the competition and rules the school. Jessica gives a speech talking about all the service and sacrifice it took to get where she is. “Always be the best, and forget about the rest.” We notice another younger student, a sophomore with a gleam in her eye, who’s been there all along looking on and wanting to follow in Jessica’s footsteps.

[Jodi Harrison]

PS 80 – Jodi’s Basic Structure! – Day 5

What I’ve learned doing this assignment is that by breaking the story down into the nine beat structure it helped me sort through ideas that kind of forced me to choose which ones to explore. Knowing I can change them at any point gave me freedom to go with my free flowing thoughts. It broke it down to manageable chunks too. It’s exciting to now have an outline.

1. OPENING: Eyelids open to see blurry champagne bottles popping and mostly men cheering as a newscaster on television says “This scene one month ago has brought about many changes since the Supreme court upheld the new TX law SB 8 to ban abortion, the vigil”. The eyelids start closing again into black, a loud pulse is heard, as well as a loud heartbeat sound. The heartbeat grows louder in the darkness. A Nurse is heard asking “Are you alright?” as she puts a packet of smelling salts under a young teen girl’s nose. The girl wakes up. “Welcome back” said the Nurse. The girl looks terrified like a deer in headlights. The Nurse says “Here are some pamphlets, please read these so you know what you can do. The young girl’s eyes shut again.

2. INCITING INCIDENT: The same teenage girl exits a reproductive clinic mandated by the state of TX. People are lying in wait, hoping to stalk her home until they learn more about her and discover if she is pregnant or not so they can file their 10,000.00 lawsuit before other vultures find them on the ‘right for life’ whistle blowers website. This is now the norm in TX. It frightens her, she gets in her car and starts the engine. It’s a frenzy, survival of the fittest, each person clamoring to be the first to follow her. The girl is shaken when a monster truck with a confederate flag wins first position. She punches on the gas. She’s in a rural area of Texas where windy roads are the normal terrain, she constantly looks back in terror as the monster truck stays close. It’s a game to these rednecks. The girl gets so scared she’s going too fast, looking back she misjudges a turn and goes off the highway. Her car flips continually over, the monster truck pulls to the side of the road to watch it flip. Eventually it stops, we see her arm out the window, still and bloody. They do not help her, they take off “Let’s get outta here bubba, aint’ gonna take no wrap for no bitch”. The passenger has a little bit of a conscience and looks at the driver with astonishment, wanting to stop and help her. The driver punches the gas, leaving the accident.

3. By page 10, you know what the movie is about: As an investigator Susan’s hands are so tied that she can’t give proper justice for the many women who are dying either by hit and runs, domestic abuse or by back alley abortions. She decides the only way to fight this tragedy is from the top.

4. First turning point at end of Act 1: Susan teams up with Social workers unions, pro-choice organizations, free clinics and a network of concerned Mothers, and women from all over the state to organize a grassroots plan to take on the Governorship.

5. Mid-Point: Susan’s very conservative and pro-life family starts to shun her. Her Mother and Father give her an ultimatum to give up her endeavor or give up her family. She must choose.

6. Second turning point at end of Act 2: Under-funded, slandered and falsely accused of organizing the kill hits on citizens that have brought lawsuits against women who have had an abortion, Susan feels the odds are against her. Adding to this, she is bribed to step down or her Pastor Dad will be exposed as a draft dodger, which will affect his congregation.

7. Crisis: Knowing how the draft dodging bribe will expose her Father and ultimately will damage her Parent’s reputation with their family, friends, congregation, and business networks, and how it will destroy her relationships with her family, she is torn between helping her Dad and wanting a better life for her Daughter, choosing to fight for all women’s freedom of choice, Susan decides to continue in the fight for her, her Daughter, and all women of the nation.

8. Climax: Election night is in full force. The Governor’s henchmen and red neck bubba’s try to sabotage election night for Susan. She finds out about the Governor’s wife having an abortion in her younger years and uses that information to shut him down from exposing her Father. Her Father has made a decision of his own and tries desperately to get a hold of his Daughter but her aide is handling the phone calls. He gets frustrated and tries to physically go to her election site but his blocked to do so by the Governors men.

9. Resolution: Susan’s Daughter sees her Grandfather being blocked from entry so she has police escort him to Susan. He wanted to let her know that he was fine with being exposed as a draft dodger and he supports her no matter what she does, and whatever her decision is as an individual. She is always loved and is not excommunicated or banished from their lives. Susan wins the election by a landslide with most female voters and many male supporters as well with great words of conviction Susan powerfully tells the voters that the first line of business will be to abolish the ‘heartbeat’ ban. The next morning the past Governor exits a care clinic with his arm around his Daughter, they both look forlorn. As they open their car doors the Governor looks around and sees many cars with people outside of them. All is silent. As soon as the Governor leaves the parking lot, many of those same cars start their engines and start the stalking process.

[David gollob]

1. Opening : National beauty pageant in luxury hotel gets underway, as violent protesters, destitute and dark-skinned clash with armed soldiers outside

2. Inciting Incident: two lighter skinned beauty pageant finalists posing in swimsuits are shot and killed by an assassin as a third (Fanny, dictator’s “ugly duckling” step-daughter) appears to narrowly escape. Pandemonium, as guests flee and military violently disperse demonstators to clear a path for their Mercedes and BMWs… Fanny understands her life is in danger and she must do something about it.

3. By p. 10 has Fanny engaged “Frito,” a former Red Brigades terrorist hiding out in South America and at one time her mother’s lover, to protect her and get to the bottom of it all. They hunt for clues together, much to the consternation of the “First Lady,” who summons him to a private meeting from which Fanny is excluded. She threatens to expose him to Interpol unless he stops helping Fanny… He walks out, infuriated… accusing her to her face of murder…

4. First turning point: by end Act One, and much to her embarassment, it is announced that Fanny has won the pageant “by default,” prompting social media speculation that the contest was rigged by her parents, and the clues they have gathered so far certainly point in that direction. She will be “crowned” in a ceremony in coming days. Protests erupt again.

5. Mid-point – p 45-50 – Frito is arrested and beaten by “interpol” investigators, more interested in the beauty pageant than his past activity. They accuse him of murdering the two girls. They seem curious too about his relationship with F’s mother.

6. second turning point, end act 2, Fanny learns that Frito may well be her real biological father after, her masked stepfather sneaks into her room to rape her in her sleep, but Frito catches him in the act, fights him off… and gives her a pistol to defend herself.

7. CRISIS: Frito chases down rapist, rips off his Ronald Reagan mask to reveal the hideously disfigured face of the dictator; F confronts her mom with her complicity in these serial rapes, at gunpoint.

8. Climax; F, in accepting the “crown” on TV denounces both parents for rape and abuse not just of herself but the entire country. Mom attempts to kill her but Frito takes the bullet, dies, leaving F alone to finish the job. Which she does, exposing the hideous un-masked face of her stepfater and putting a bullet thru her mom’s head LIVE on national TV, as “Interpol” agents are murdered one by one by protesters.

9. resolution: the regime is overthrown, protesters appear to have won, but no, it’s just another cohort of corrupt “strongmen” who take power. F flees to USA and enrolls in Georgetown U, newly self-confident despite the shame of her public admissions. She also proves Frito was her real father, thru DNA, so it’s a double-triumph for her…