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Post Day 5 Assignment Here
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Christy Waites’ Character’s Intro
“What I’ve Learned…”
Once again, I turned to my current screenplay for this scene. The protagonist is introduced as a baby, and he ages during the first scenes. Still, his personality is developing during those scenes. The following is when the protagonist and antagonist meet for the first time and it follows through with the protagonist’s logline. Therefore, I’ve learned that I must match the protagonist logline to the intro of that character.
<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Protagonist Logline: Because he is small and is always amiable, Tavis is made the butt of jokes by larger bullies.
INT. MCTHORN HOUSE – SMALL PARLOR
Jack (14) stands over a table filling his mouth with cookies. His cheeks are full and he has a difficult time chewing. Tavis (13) enters and stands by the door.
TAVIS
(clears his throat)
Uh, hem.
Jack turns and gives a small wave, then points at his mouth. Once he finishes chewing and swallows, he wipes his mouth and hands with a napkin.
JACK
You must be Tavis. I’m Jack. Jack Baird.
Jack walks towards Tavis with his hand out, a large toothy grin on his face.
Tavis looks at his hand. It takes a moment before he realizes that Jack wants to shake his own.
He quickly moves towards Jack, his hand out, returning the smile; but when they meet, Jack turns up his hand and Tavis slides on the lacquered floor and trips because he couldn’t stop his momentum in time.
He falls onto the carpet.
TAVIS
Ooooof!
JACK
(laughing)
What are you, a thrum, Tavis McThorn?
<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>
<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>(The end of the visit:)
JACK
Well, Tavis. It’s been a pleasure.
He puts his hand out to offer it to Tavis. Tavis hesitates.
JACK (Cont.)
Oh, come on. I was just playing around with you earlier.
TAVIS
(chuckles lightly)
Oh, of course.
Tavis puts his hand out and walks towards Jack. Again, when they meet, Jack raises his hand; but this time, Jack also trips him with one foot. Tavis hits the carpet hard.
TAVIS (Cont.)
Ooooof!
JACK
(laughing)
You are such a thrum!
Jack continues to laugh as he walks towards the door. He stops when he notices a small glass figurine sitting on a table that was over the hard wood floor.
Jack knocks over the figurine and it breaks.
JACK (Cont.)
Oh, that’s so sad.
He glares down at Tavis who is still on the carpet.
JACK (Cont.)
Don’t you tell anyone that I did that.
He takes a couple more steps towards the door.
JACK (Cont.)
Oh, what am I thinking. They won’t believe a thrum like you!
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Margaret’s character’s intro
What I learned: The intro to the character needs to be humorous with an incongruent twist.
LOGLINE/ESCAPING PEACEFUL VALLEY: Patsy is a nursing home resident who fakes dementia so the state will pay for her room and board.
Background to the scene: Irene meets Patsy, who seems cognitively intact. Patsy invites Irene to go “shopping” with her. Irene agrees and follows Patsy to the “store.” Bethany is the social worker and Bobby is the activities director.
INT. PEACEFUL VALLEY – SOCIAL SERVICE’S OFFICE – DAY
Bethany sits behind a small desk. Bobby enters her office with a bag full of small stuffed animals.
BETHANY
Nice. I needed more.
BOBBY
Here you go. You better hurry. She’s coming down the hall with a friend.
Bethany quickly opens the bag and lines up the stuffed animals on the edge of her desk.
Bobby leaves the office just as Patsy wheels herself in, followed by Irene who has a big purse on her lap.
BETHANY
Good afternoon, ladies.
Patsy wheels over to inspect the used stuffed animals on the edge of the desk.
PATSY
Your merchandise is a little ratty.
Bethany puts her hand over his heart as if she has been wounded.
BETHANY
Patsy, come on. I’m just a poor woman.
PATSY
Well, you won’t get rich with me.
BETHANY
Who is your friend?
Bethany waves at Irene.
BETHANY
Hello! I’m Bethany. Social Services Director and used stuffy salesman.
IRENE
Hello. I’m Irene Thorpe. Very nice to meet you.
BETHANY
Likewise. Want to hear our special?
PATSY
What is it today? Two for three?
BETHANY
Better than that. Ten for ten. But you have to buy ten. Otherwise, they’re a dollar each.
PATSY
I’ll take ten.
Patsy reaches down into her pocket, pulls out non-existent money and hands it to Bethany.
Bethany takes the invisible money and places it in her desk drawer.
PATSY
Heh. Greedy guts. Where’s my change?
Bethany gives a sheepish shrug and opens her desk drawer back up. She hands Patsy some invisible money.
Patsy takes the ‘money’ and scoops up ten of the stuffed animals onto her lap. She eyes her stapler.
PATSY
How much for that?
Bethany picks up the stapler.
BETHANY
Five hundred.
Patsy gasps.
PATSY
We are done here. You’re a highway robber!
She turns her wheelchair around and wheels out of the office in a huff.
There are two stuffed animals left on the desk.
BETHANY
(to Irene)
You want to buy something?
Irene nods a polite “no” and backs her wheelchair up.
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DAY 5 WILLIAM BEASLEY CHARACTER INTRO
WHAT I LEARNED FROM THIS ASSIGNMENT IS TO USE THE COMEDY LOGLINE TO HELP MAKE THE CHARACTER FUNNY IN THE FIRST SCENE,
COMEDY LOGLINE – CONSTRUCTION WORKER WANTS TO BECOME A BALLERINA
MR. ENTERS STUDIO
MISS Can I help you?
MR. Are you the dance instructor?
MISS Yes, I’m Miss.
MR. Good. I’m Mr.
MISS Is your daughter one of my students?
MR. No.
MISS Then why are you here?
MR. I’d like some lessons.
MISS What kind of lessons? I teach ballet.
MR. That’s what I want. Ballet lessons.
MISS Why?
MR. As a young boy all I ever wanted was to take ballet lessons, but no, my parents forced me into playing football, and baseball, and basketball.
MISS You didn’t like playing sports?
MR. It was fun. But inside of me has always been the burning desire to be a ballerina.
MISS Can I ask what kind of work you do?
MR. Construction.
MISS A construction worker who wants to be a ballerina?
MR. It would mean the world to me.
MISS Won’t your construction friends make fun of you?
MR. Yeah, but I don’t care. I’ve gotta be me. Please, teach me?
MISS I don’t normally teach students your age.
MR. Wouldn’t that be age discrimination?
MISS A school is allowed to set age limits. And then there’s your size.
MR. You’re saying I’m too big?
MISS I don’t think they make tutu’s to fit you.
MR. Maybe I’ll sew my own.
MISS You know how to sew?
MR. And cook and clean.
MISS My. Your wife must be pleased that you help out around the house.
MR. I’m not married.
MISS Girlfriend?
MR. Not anymore.
MISS She found out your secret?
MR. She knew.
MISS Then why did you break up?
MR. If you must know, gay.
MISS You?
MR. Her.
MISS Oh . . . Tell you what. I’ll give you my number and address and you come over for dinner tonight about seven and we can discuss giving you some lessons.
MR. Okay. Wow. I’ll be one step closer to becoming a ballerina. But shouldn’t we meet here in the studio?
MISS Not for the lessons I have in mind. How about seven?
MR. Seven will be fine. Should I bring anything?
MISS Just come as you are. See you at seven.
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Eclipse Neilson Day 5
Character Logline: RADNA (80) a sophisticated hippie with a flare for the unusual and a stern approach, is placed in an old fashion retirement home for mostly conservative women.In time she brings out the mini hippie in each of the residents in ways they could never imagine.
NOTE: The scene takes place the first night at the retirement home after a hard day of extreme change and silent rejection by the group.
INT. RADNA’S ROOM – NIGHT
Room is dark. Light from lamp post outlines the small sparse space.
Beside the single bed, is a carved lady lamp and a stack of books – the bible, the Egyptian Book of the Dead, and A Garden verse of poetry.
A wingback and small table faces sliding doors to a porch. At the foot of the chair is a basket full of hand made colorful cloth hats and bright scarves.
A side table with a sketch pad with a half finished drawing of the garden outside. A laptop and a pile of notes.
Radna lays under the covers and stares up at the ceiling as if she is looking at the heavens. One tear rolls down her cheek. She sighs, closes her eyes and turns over. Faces the wall.
Silence.
A child’s SOFT HAUNTING VOICE begins singing “Don’t fence me in.”
Radna opens one eye, listens closely. Frowns bewildered. Shakes her head no. Shuts her eyes again.
The soft child voice continues.
Radna puts her pillow over her face. Child continues.
(Beat)
She slowly removes it and turns back over to look.
In a corner a young girl(7)dances circling a white toy dog standing next to a cloth satchel on the floor. Her body catches the moonlight.
Radna startles. Stares a bit aghast. Raises one eyebrow in a strict manner. Clears her throat to get the child’s attention. Uses a take charge tone.
RADNA
Excuse me?
The child continues dancing. Then stops and slowly turns around and looks at Radna coyly. They stare at each other silently.
RADNA (CONT’D)
And who are you?
The child gives a curious stare and then smiles.
CHILD
Me…I’m me.
She starts dancing again. Radna pulls herself up. Crosses her arms and uses a superior snappy tone.
RADNA
I don’t know who you ARE or why you ARE here! And I haven’t smoked dope in a half a century, so that’s not why this is happening.
CHILD
It doesn’t matter.
RADNA
Of course it matters!…I want to know!… And while you ARE. at it. Tell me what’s there to dance about?
The child shrugs her shoulders.
CHILD
I donno.
RADNA
Look it’s been a bad day… shooo out!
Motions her to leave.
The child stops. Kneels down to her bag. Hugs her toy dog. Looks up at Radna, smiles and pulls out a deck of cards. Spreads them out. Motions her to come.
CHILD
Pick one.
RADNA
No.
CHILD
You were always stubborn – obstinate to be precise…I think I remembered they called you the “obstinate little wench.”
RADNA
Still am, but how do you know?
Child starts to hum and dance again – ignoring Radna.
CHILD
Ok. Then I’ll choose one for you.
She pulls a card from the pile looks at it. Giggles. Holds it to her chest. Rolls her eyes in a flirtatious glee.
CHILD (CONT’D)
Oh! I love him.
Child gathers up her cards stuffs them back in her satchel.
Ties the knot. Hums her tune. Walks to the chair and carefully places the card on top of the drawing. Skips back across the room to the corner. Turns around. Smiles.
CHILD (CONT’D)
We’re going to have fun… you and me.
She stops smirks and vanishes. Her song fades away.
Radna stares at the empty space then crawls out of bed hobbles over to the table and picks up the card. It is the Tarot’s Magician. She studies it.
Carries it back to her bed and leans it against the lamp. Stares at it. Turns off the light. Mutters.
RADNA
Fuck! No one will ever believe me…. (Beat) or… perhaps they will…
She closes her eyes and slowly smiles.
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Ron Basci Character’s intro Lesson 5
What I learned: When creating a character, the more his various aspects are developed, the more opportunity there is for creating comic situations.
CHRIS is a confident actor, talented but seldom working. He takes on odd jobs to pay the rent. Chris approaches each opportunity confidently, fully expecting a successful result.
After placing ads offering his services as a handyman, Chris has obtained a client.
Haughty Woman
Can I help you?
Chris
Hi, I’m Chris, you emailed me about hanging your painting.
Woman
Oh yes, come in.
Freddy enters a very large elaborate NYC apartment. Woman leads him into the living room to a huge (6’ x 4’) eye sore of a painting.
Woman
I trust you have done this before. This piece
has been in my family for generations. It is an
original by Lord Freemantle Mountchessington
the second.
Chris
(voice over as the woman keeps talking)
The Second..?
Woman
I want it hung precisely in the middle of this wall, exactly
the same distance from the ceiling as it is to the floor.
You do understand sir? Ceiling to floor.
Chris
Yes, got it. Ceiling to floor. No problem.
Woman
I am to run an errand, I will be back in several
minutes, I expect that you’ll be finished by then.
Chris
The Lord is in good hands.
Woman exits the apartment. Chris surveys the living room spotting Vuitton. The pampered miniature poodle is relaxing on a chair. Chris then empties his bag on the Persian rug: a hammer, several nine inch nails, dozens of thumb tacks, six worn wall anchors, and a roll of cellophane tape. He successfully hammers in two anchors, then triumphantly stands back to admire his work. Vuitton comes by, sits next to Chris and looks at the wall.
Chris
Looks good, doesn’t it, dog?
With no response from Vuitton, Chris hoists the painting catching the anchors. His job is done. Shot of Chris admiring then to dog still in same spot just looking. OTS shot of Chris admiring his work. Painting crashes to the floor.
Chris
Crap!
Startled, Vuitton scoots right through the tacks emitting a gigantic yelp. Chris abruptly turns in response, tearing a hole in the canvas with his heel as Vuitton disappears into a rear room. He now stands frozen, horrified at the gash. Realizing what he brought is useless to repair the painting, and fearing the imminent return of his employer, Chris runs to the kitchen looking for anything he might use.
Tearing through drawers, he finds a roll of duct tape, considers but moves on, scotch tape, coffee filters, then picks up Elmer’s glue
Chris
In this apartment?
Puts it down and grabs a stapler left on a table near some papers. Back in the living room he quickly realizes this won’t work.
Chris
Crap!!!!!!!! Useless!!
Runs back to the kitchen, grabs the glue, back to the painting, puts some on the flaps and tries to seal them. Fearing the drying is taking too much time, Chris grabs a hairdryer from the bathroom, returns, plugs it in and slowly calms down as the machine does its thing. Checking his progress by peering around to the front, he realizes the paint is loosening. He abruptly stops the dryer and returns it. Vuitton is now watching from the safety of another doorway. Steeling himself to finish the job he was hired for Chris uses all the anchors to hang the painting.
Examining the repair, Chris is confident his patch job will pass muster. He flops into a nearby chair.
Woman (enters with a flourish)
Are you finished yet?
Chris
Yes, M’am.
Chris leaps out as the woman proceeds to get her best vantage point. He counters her movement by strategically placing himself to obscure the repair.
Chris (nervously)
What do you think? Do you like it?
Woman stands in the middle of her living room not saying a word. Then,
Woman
You’ve done a fine job. Here’s your payment along
with a bonus. I’m impressed with your work. Thank you.
Chris
Thank you Ma’m.
He exits. As he walks down the hall, he hears the priceless heirloom crash to the floor. He runs.
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Day 5 Assignment
darryl brant – JELLY’S Log line
I don’t usually write character descriptions other than age. I never thought it necessary. However, what I learned from this assignment I can create some expectation for a character right from the get-go.
JELLY: A misogynistic, womanizing lady’s man who is hiding the fact that he is actually gay.
INT. LIVING ROOM – NIGHT
Paulie and Jelly play video games.
JELLY
You shoulda seen this chick last night. She had tits out to here.
Jelly uses only one hand to show the size.
Paulie lets his controller hang.
JELLY
Pick up your dick.
PAULIE
Don’t you get sick of fucking different girls every night? Why don’t you just pick one?
JELLY
Don’t you get sick of listening to different music every day. Why don’t you just pick one? Like classic rockabilly goat fucking. Or cock rock ‘n’ roll ’em high octane.
17.
PAULIE
I don’t understand how you get so many girls.
JELLY
You gotta show em who’s boss. I’ll tell em if they wanna be my lover, they have got to give cause taking is too easy. Fuck that’s just the way it is.
PAULIE
Isn’t that Spice Girls?
JELLY
I tell them I’m hot, sticky sweet, from my head to my feet. Yeah!
PAULIE
Is that Def Leppard?
JELLY
They accept me for the hot cock boy I am. Not like you.
PAULIE
I accept you. How many chicks you bang has nothing to do with me putting down plastic on the furniture before you come over.
JELLY
I accept you homo. Now pick up the controller or I’ll label your ass.
PAULIE
I can’t. I gotta get ready for the show.
JELLY
Whatever homo. It’s just some stupid band playing shit music that six people know.
PAULIE
Those are the best bands.
JELLY
Are you bringing Liz?
PAULIE
Why the fuck would I bring Liz?
JELLY
She brought you to her thing.
PAULIE
Yeah and that fucking sucked.
JELLY
So bringing her would be payback.
Paulie kicks Jelly. He kicks back. They wrestle. It is clear Jelly is considerably stronger than Paulie.
PAULIE
Get off me you Neanderthal.
18.
JELLY
Yeah you’d like me to get off.
Paulie tries to push him off but he is too strong. Jelly holds him down. Squats on top of him. Farts in his face.
PAULIE
You asshole —
JELLY
That’s where it came from.
Jelly lets Paulie up.
JELLY
I gotta get ready too. Tonight at the bar it’s free Rohypnol night.
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What I learned from this assignment is that it hard to determine a character’s qualities and find a unique situation in which to place the character and create comedic results. The “fish-out-of-water” worked best for me.
LOGLINE
This film would be about BILL “BULL’ WILSON, a former correctional officer who lost his job for excessive abuse of his authority. He has taken on the job of substitute teacher. Initially he applies his tough, disciplinary approach in an elementary school, but eventually softens over time and becomes a defender of the school against bureaucrats who want to demolish the school.
SCENE 1
INT. ELEMENTARY SCHOOL CLASSROOM – DAY
Bill Wilson is tall, powerfully built and intimidating. He is dressed as a correctional officer with broad-brimmed hat, sun glasses, and a belt with a taser in a holster, baton and handcuffs. He is now with a Grade seven class. It’s his first day on the job. The final strains of the national anthem have just died out. He removes his sunglasses.
BILL
Alright class, come to order. My name is Mister Wilson and I will be your custodian for the day. Let us start with roll call. If you are present say “yes sir” and if you are not present say nothing. Is student number four-zero-five-five-six-two here?
(beat)
I say again, is student number four-zero-five-five-six-two present?
There are some quizzical looks and twitters from the students.
BILL
(voice rising, emphasizing the numbers he calls out)
Final time, student number four-zero-five-five-six-two here or do we have a prison break on our hands?
WILMA
(raising her hand)
Excuse me sir.
BILL
(somewhat agitated)
Yes, what is it?
WILMA
It’s just that we usually take attendance by names. We really don’t know our student numbers.
BILL
(mocking voice)
I knew that. I was just testing you all. Very well. Is Alton comma James here?
JAMES
(in a weak voice)
Yes sir.
BILL
(mocking)
Louder, I can’t hear you!
BILL
(mocking)
Still can’t hear you. For Christ sake, ain’t you got any lung power?
JAMES
(nearly screaming)
Yes sir!
BILL
Finally. I could almost hear you. Look, this will take too long and we got lots to do. I’ll just do a head count.
BILL quickly counts and is satisfied all are present.
BILL
Now clear your desks. First order of business. According to your teacher, I am required to give you this test.
BILL hands out tests at the front of each row for the number of students in each row, and as students pass them backwards he continues:
BILL
Place your knapsacks to the left side of your desk. I shall be inspecting them for any contraband.
WILMA raises her hand.
BILL
Are you going to be a troublemaker in this class? Now what?
WILMA
Excuse me, sir? What is contraband?
BILL
Contraband? You don’t know what contraband is? I thought you were supposed to be the smart class in this school. It is illegal or prohibited goods or substances brought into a correctional facility without proper authorization. Okay smarty pants?
As the students begin to write their tests BILL takes the closest knapsack, a pink one with a large kitten on it and lettering saying “Have A Wonderful Day,” dumps its contents on the teacher’s desk and rummages through the pile. He find a small plastic bag containing loose tea leaves. He sniffs it. He holds up both bags.
BILL
Who do these belong to?
JENNIFER, small oriental girl, stands up.
JENNIFER
(voice quaking)
It, it’s mine sir.
BILL
So you confess as to ownership, do you? Did you think you could get away with bringing in marijuana? Were you going to peddle it around to the other inmates and make a quick cash? I knew I was in Lucky Buck gang territory, but I didn’t think they recruited this young.
JENNIFER
(voice still quaking)
But, but it is just tea, sir. I drink herbal tea with my lunch.
BILL
(snearing)
Just tea? Do I look like I just fell off the pumpkin wagon? A likely story. What’s your name?
JENNIFER
Jennifer Lee, sir.
BILL
I’m sorry but this has to be reported to the warden, er principal.
BILL goes to the intercom holding the absence form and calls the office.
V/O
Hello, office.
BILL
This is Officer, er Mr. Wilson, the substitute teacher. I have an inmate, four-zero-seven-seven-niner, who has been caught with contraband. What are the procedures?
V/O
(mystified voice)
WHAT?
BILL
I repeat. I have a miscreant, four-zero. Oh never mind, I’ll handle it myself.
BILL cuts off the intercom and turns to JENNIFER.
BILL
(voice softening)
Listen, you’re young. You were probably influenced by bad types, but you need to be punished as an example to the others. We can’t have others thinking they can break the contraband rules. I’m putting you in solitary.
JENNIFER
(fearful voice)
Sol- sol- solitary? What is solitary?
BILL
You are going to stand in the corner with you nose against the wall.
BILL addresses the rest of the class.
BILL
And if anyone goes near Jenifer or talks to her they will be joining her – or worse!
JENNIFER proceeds to the far corner of the room and puts her nose there.
The bell rings for recess.
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(Patricia Ruland’s) character’s intro
What I learned from this assignment is it I commit to the process, leave fear of writing funny lines behind, and give it a whirl, I can do more than I thought I could. Very empowering. I leaned once again that revision happens in passes, many.
ASSIGNMENT
———-1. Create a comedy logline for one or more characters.
BEATRIX ‘BUNNIE’ HOPPER, 40, super chic, former face cream model bucking to be CFO of S&M Content Management Systems, uses group training sessions to [gently] bully her “silly little masochists/ moppet minions,” as she likes to call them.
[Bunnie trains Caren Cay Boomer in her disastrous office job at S&M CMS.]
2. Then write a scene introducing that character and clearly
demonstrating the comedy logline.SEE BELOW
3. Answer the question “What I learned from this assignment is…?”
and post it at the top of your work.Subject: (Your name) character’s intro (in first line)
Deadline: 24 hours
——————–
Even if this seems difficult, give it your best shot. You may be surprised
by something brilliant that shows up. Remember, coming up with the
comedy character logline is a simple process.1. Write out the character’s setup — the part that makes them
a normal character.Beatrix ‘Bunnie’ Hopper is a facilitator at S&M Content Management Systems who is presenting a training session to Boomer employees, including Caren Cay [my msc15 script in progress].
2. Brainstorm possible incongruent twists to that character.
Even all that company standing and boundless energy cannot insure trainees will take her seriously—that is, pay her the slightest bit of attention.
3. Select the twist that provides the best comic opportunities.
She
bills herself as “Beatrix—rhymes with Dominatrix”—and adds an edge to the
training that rouses some from their state of ennui.Just go through the process with a couple of characters and see what comes
of it. Once you have something that works, even minimally, write a scene
and turn it in.SCENE:
INT S&M COMPANY CLASSROOM DAY
Students sit in tandem desks in a large classroom made out of a warehouse. They whisper, yawn, flip or fiddle with papers, strum pencils, surf the Internet, and text on their phones. Some say it’s 8:55.
All at once, strobes flash across the room. Techno House Music pounds. Startled, students sit up or jump up then sit down. They blink and cup their hands over their eyes and ears. Some oldtimers go back to sleep and snore.
BEATRIX ‘BUNNIE,’ 40, former face cream model and still super-chic in all-black, is CFO of S&M Content Management Systems.
Bunnie throws open the curtains and bops up to a microphone on the center of a raised platform at the front of the classroom.
BUNNIE
I’m Beatrix–rhymes with–? Rhymes with–? Come on, old-timers, you know the drill–. Where’s that senior sass? Give it to me, give it to me–?
SLIM ‘TO NONE’, 60, awakens and guffaws out an answer.
SLIM
(yawning)
Rhymes, well, it really doesn’t, does it, Herb? . . . with ‘dominatrix’?–
BUNNIE
That’s the time, Old-Timer. My grandpa used to say “that’s the time.”
HERB
(yawning, too)
Yeah, and my name rhymes with, with–
SLIM, HERB
–pervert.
Slim and Herb, as well as others seated nearby, laugh at the joke. They put their heads back on their desks.
Bunnie, slightly miffed, takes up her pointer and raps it on her palm.
BUNNIE
(haughtily)
Look lively.
Bunnie raps the pointer on her desk.
BUNNIE
(haughtily)
Look lively, my little masochist munchkins . . . my pretties.
Bunnie threads through the desks, rapping the pointer on her palm as she goes.
Students rouse and do look a little livelier.
Music stops as a spotlight lands on her. She tears off her blazer. Her T-shirt says, “I’m your Energizer Bunny!”
BUNNIE
(Screeching)
Good morning. Wake up.
Bunnie taps the mic and causes interference.
BUNNIE
Let me introduce myself. I’m Bunnie, your Energizer–
Bunnie traces her pointer finger over the word “Bunny” on her shirt.
–Bunny.
Bunnie picks up and holds up pink and blue T-shirts that read: “S&M Rabbit in Training.” Muffled chuckles waft here and there.
Bunnie takes plastic packages of T-shirts out of a box and and pitches them to students.
BUNNIE
Choose the right one, now. Wear them the rest of the week, please.
Two students, one male and one female, mock-tug-o’-war with a pink shirt.
BUNNIE
I see we have two comedians who want to entertain us.
Bunnie walks over to them and takes the blue and gives it to the man and the pink and gives it to the woman.
BUNNIE
Old School all the way.
The two students exchange t-shirts. Bunnie turns her back on them and walks.
BUNNIE
Except when it comes to technology. Except when it comes to this orientation session. This is your lucky day.
All of you are members of another generation. You didn’t grow up with all this wonderful technology at your disposal–I know. I will have your–
STUDENT 1, 59, raises her hand.
STUDENT 1
I hold a degree in IT. I’d be honored to assist–
STUDENT 2, high-fives Student 1
STUDENT 2
I, as well.
62MBUNNIE
–your back. Grand. Back to what I was saying. Studies show that your age group, the so-called “Boomer” generation, fall behind due to the generational technology gap.
I’m here to make sure that does not happen here at S&M Content Management Systems.
Now, quick like a bunny–
Bunnie darts from table to table and TAPS a single key or multiple keys on the run. She hops and bops. She stops at desks here and there.
BUNNIE
It’s okay to know absolutely nothing.
Bunnie hops and TAPS.
BUNNIE
No. It’s like this.
Darts and TAP-TAP-TAPS. Bunnie makes her way to Caren Cay’s cubicle.
BUNNIE
Noooooo. Like this.
Caren Cay squints and taps.
Bunnie ops on and TAPS, fast, with fingers of both hands with a hint of irritation.
BUNNIE
I am afraid not. To be clear, you should go here. And do this.
Is that all crystal clear? Good.
Suddently, an ear-splitting BUZZER sounds. Students startle again and settle down; their faces show a mix of amusement and apprehension. Some rap pens on their desks to mock Bunnie.
BUNNIE
Did you know? 741 hz zaps toxins and negative thought patterns. I clean my aura daily–you can, too.
BUNNIE
Bunnie trots out a turn-table record player. She takes a record out of its sleeve, places it reverently on the turn table, and places the needle on the record. Tibetan bowls chime. Electronic MUSIC plays.
BUNNIE
See?
Bunnie punches her phone to program an intercom. A New Age creative frequency sound track booms. Bunnie strikes a yoga pose or two.
A glitch then causes an irritating skip-skip-skip in the music.
BUNNIE
Breathe.
Students sigh. One mock-hyperventilates.
BUNNIE
No. From our diaphragm.
Students sigh louder. Some do mock yoga poses, too.
BUNNIE
Rebellion is the path of fools.
Students continue to mock her movements. The glitch recurs. Students pattern their movements in rhythm with the glitch.
Bunnie raps the desk hard with the pointer. The room gets still and silent.
Bunnie angrily packs up the turn-table and straps on her expensive one-shoulder back-pack.
BUNNIE
Training’s over. Fuck you, suckers.
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DAY 5 Artūrs Kozels
What i have learned? That it Is important to write a logline for you characters to ease writing process.
LOGLINE: SUSAN (28) Is a redneck with IQ under 65 who gets certificate to teach philosophy but ends up studying it herself by her students.
INT. SCHOOL – EVENING
A classroom. Doors are opened. People come in sitting down – total number of students is 5. Susan sits at the profesors table turning a yellow note around and around, on both sides Is written “turn around”. She giggles.
MARZIA (25) comes to Susan.
Marzia – Hello. Shall we start?
Susan – sure. Why not?
Marzia goes back to her table. Everyone opens their notes.
Susan (wondering) – Who you are?
PHILIP (26) raises his hand. Susan looks at him, doesn’t understand what he wants. She clumsily and masculin runs up to Philip and high fives him. He’s puzzled.
Philip – i had a question.
Susan – me too.
Philip – but may i ask first then?
Susan – yes. Then I’ll be the second one.
Philip – what do you mean? Who we are as people or Who we are relating to profession?
Susan – Wow. I’ve always wanted to hear complex sentence…Now me! Who are you?
Philip – i just asked a question relating to this topic…
Susan – Is this an interview?
Philip – no.
Susan – i won’t get the job?
Marzia – you have job. You are at work.
Susan – what i must do?
Marzia – answer to our questions.
Susan – questioning? This Is so interesing… What do we do next?
Marzia and Philip look at each orher…
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What I learned doing this assignment is that once I know my character, I know what would be funny because I know what’s “out of character” or “incongruent” for them.
Logline: Former socialite lost her fortune and now hides in a camper in the woods behind her former home.
EXT. WOODS – DAY
Jane steps out of a 33 foot long gulfstream that is barely visible through tree cover. She’s decked out in Louis Vuitton, hair styled and make up as she hikes through the trees to her BMW parked halfway down a gravel path.
She gets in, checks herself in the mirror and drives out to the main road.
EXT. RESTAURANT PATIO – DAY
Jane’s friend, Sally, waves her over to the table.
JANE
Sorry, I’m late. Traffic. It’s always bad.
SALLY
No worries. I ordered your usual.
JANE
My usual?
STEVEN (the waiter)
A top shelf dirty martini and the cucumber caviar? Miss Jane. (looking at mud tracked from the entrance to Jane’s feet). You’ve been a very dirty girl today.
JANE
Oh, Steven, I’m so sorry. And Sally ordered this before I got here. She didn’t know I can’t drink today. Would you mind? I’ll include it in the tip, but just take it off my bill, please.
STEVEN
Oh, sure thing, honey. We’ve all been there. (winks)
He returns with an ice water and points a bus boy with a mop to Jane’s mud trail.
SALLY
Is everything okay? No alcohol? Are you well?
JANE
I’m fine. Just cutting back. You know, high blood pressure.
SALLY
So, Jane, do you have anything you want to tell me?
Jane’s eyes widen.
JANE
About?
SALLY
Is it going to be safe with your blood pressure?
JANE
What are you talking about, Sally?
SALLY
The Harley-Davidson delivered to your house last week!
Jane chokes on her caviar.
JANE
Well, uh, I, uh…
SALLY
Brand new, snake venom paint, green powder coated wheels and an ostrich seat?!
JANE
Well, when you say it like that….
SALLY
When did you start riding? You know, when I was in my twenties, I had a bike. A Yamaha Virago. I traded my car for it. Living in Chicago, I couldn’t go without a car in the winter but I had that bike one whole summer. It was pure lust. I miss that bike.
Jane guzzles water. Nearly chokes again during Sally’s story.
JANE
I had no idea you liked motorcycles.
SALLY
I’m envious of you, Jane. You’ve got a mansion, you sit on some of the most prestigious boards in DC and now you’ve got a fucking Harley-Davidson.
Jane coughs again.
SALLY (Con’t)
You are one bad bitch, Jane. When can I see this machine? Can I stop by tomorrow?
JANE
Hang on, hang on. How did you, uh, find out that I, uh, have this Harley-Davidson snake thingy?
SALLY
Zach’s friend Mike is the manager at the dealership. He told Zach they delivered it to your house. He did say it was in a different name though. Anything you want to tell me about that before I find it? Because I will find out.
Jane considers coming clean but then…
JANE
I didn’t want everyone to know so I put it in the gardener’s name.
SALLY
Well, we know now. Secret’s out.
JANE
Yeah.
SALLY
I either want to see the bike or see you riding it before our next lunch. You have two weeks.
JANE
Two weeks. And then the cat will really be out of the bag, won’t it.
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What I learned: A party animal just wants to have a good old time and is constantly put in situations that prevent it from happening.
INT. CHIC MONACO APARTMENT BUILDING – NIGHT
A wild party is happening on the 12th floor in a plush suite overlooking the French Rivera. Music is playing and the guests are having a great time tossing back drinks. A rich tanked-up playboy, the debonair host STEFAN ASTOR, age 32, is busy charming the women. He is talking to a cover girl named JANICE who has big eyes and a warm smile for him.
JANICE
So, what brings you to Monaco business or pleasure?
STEFAN
Quite definitely pleasure and plenty of it. I just came over from New York and I need some rest and relaxation after being trashed time and again by the tabloids.
JANICE
What were they saying about you? Maybe I have heard of some of the stories?
STEFAN
The usual… your basic fun-loving drunken antics. Just trying to have a good time and all of these killjoys and spoilsports were constantly popping up with their flashing cameras. I needed to get out of there before I went insane. It was just horrible.
A couple of nicely dressed women, ELOISE and NICOLETTE, both 28, walk into the circle and are laughing at his poor predicament.
ELOISE
(laughing)
C’est dommage. How do you say? It sounds like a real bummer.
NICOLETTE
Fortunately for you, the police in this city do not allow the paparazzi to follow and harass everyone as they do in Paris.
STEFAN
Finally, a police force that does what they are supposed to do!
There is loud knocking at the door and three members of the Public Security of Monaco dressed in uniform step inside the apartment.
SECURITY OFFICER #1
Who is the host of this soiree?
Some people point to Stefan as the officers walk over to him.
SECURITY OFFICER #2
We have had a loud noise complaint and it is time to shut down this wild party.
STEFAN
You call this wild. It’s like an old folk home with cocktails and polka music.
SECURITY OFFICER #1
I wish my grandparents lived in a home like this.
Two ELDERLY WOMEN walk in and stand next to the officers.
ELDERLY WOMEN #1
What in the world is going on here? Who is responsible for this debauchery?
STEFAN
That would be me. I am Stefan and the president of the debauchery committee.
ELDERLY WOMEN #2
Well monsieur, I am happy to inform you that this building is the world headquarters of Sober Anonymous and you are being evicted from this apartment tomorrow.
STEFAN
Just for having a few friends over. That sounds quite ridiculous. I thought that Frenchy had a love affair with their wine?
SECURITY OFFICER #2
You sure picked the wrong building to party down.
STEFAN
Oh no, this place is worse than New York!
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This reply was modified 2 years, 12 months ago by Will Jennings.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 12 months ago by Will Jennings.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 12 months ago by Will Jennings.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 12 months ago by
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Sherri D. Coffee – Characters Built for Comedy
What I learned doing this assignment was to start with a character, add incongruent twists, and decide which twist provides the most interesting.
Alex is a serious research attorney with the FBI who must infiltrate a corrupt lobby firm to assist her team.
INT. FBI ALEX OFFICE – AM
Alex sits at her desk and conducts an intense computer search.
types in “political radicals” and hits return.
scrolls results.
types in “christian nationalism” and hits return.
scrolls results.
INT. FBI CONFERENCE ROOM – AM
Jake stands at the front of the conference table and scrolls through the pictures.
Candidate.
Donors.
Advocacy groups.
Lobby firm.
JAKE
All may be linked to a radical homegrown terrorist group focused on christian nationalism. Our agents have hit a dead end. Any ideas?
MARK
We have to infiltrate the lobby firm. They will know all the links.
Jake looks around the room. All men are dressed in black suits, white shirts, black ties.
JAKE
I agree. We need to infiltrate. The question is, who can infiltrate?
CHRIS
I could do it.
MARK
No offense buddy but we need a lawyer. A very good lawyer that we can trust.
INT. FBI ALEX OFFICE – AM
Jake glances towards Alex’s office and watches her through the glass. She is obsessed with computer research.
INT. FBI CONFERENCE ROOM – AM
MARK
No. Alex? She’s a researcher!
JAKE
She knows what we need.
CHRIS
She can barely carry on a conversation without looking at her phone!
JAKE
Ok. She’s a little bit of a geek. But she may be our only hope to uncover the truth.
We can train her.
MARK
You mean, we can train her.
JAKE
You and Miss Ball.
CHRIS
No way.
MARK
Ball busting Miss Ball. You still have one left, right Chris?
CHRIS
Are you done?
JAKE
Look guys. If we don’t produce something from this investigation, it’s dead.
Jake raises his hand. Mark and Chris slowly raise hands.
INT. FBI ALEX OFFICE – AM
Alex works at computer. Jake knocks. She looks up and motions him to enter.
ALEX
Hi Jake.
JAKE
Alex. I have a favor to ask.
Alex leans back in her chair.
ALEX
No way. I hate politics. I absolutely hate organized religion. And Florida is a cesspool.
You have to find someone else. Miss Ball. She can do it. She can do anything.
JAKE
No, she cannot work this case. She was compromised last year in Florida, and we can’t take a chance. Alex, if you don’t step up the case will die.
Alex stares back at the screen.
JAKE
And all the effort you have done will be left in a closed file while the criminals continue to commit crimes. We need you, Alex.
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