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Post Day 7 Assignment Here
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Rebecca’s Story Map
What I learned from this assignment is that by picking and choosing which tracks to use to integrate into the story structure can enhance how, when, and where action works best. It creates intricate balance of elements to keep things moving.
OPENING: World War 1 battlefield in France. American sharpshooter picks off 16 German soldiers marching in the woods. He leaves the cowardly officer, the 17th man remain alive. When the officier attempts suicide and fails, he agains begs to be shot. Ragman answers in German, “Coward, live with your shame.”
INCITING INCIDENT: The German officer, Herr Bucholtz, tracks down the American soldier who killed his men. Buchotz convinces executives of Republic Steel, owners of the Village of Russellton the first town to face evictions, that if given enough men and guns, he can end the strike. They hire him. The Coal and Iron Police, led by Herr Bucholtz, invade Russellton to break the strike and evict the striking miners from their homes. Ragman bristles that he needs to show ID papers in the afternoon, when none needed in the morning. His angered triggered. His father-in-law receives an eviction notice even though he paid his rent, Ragman takes him to the mine office ready to fight. Ragman’s brother Irvin, a carpenter, asks him to drive to Pittsburgh to the UMW office so he can offer his services. The union provides materials and Irvin teaches the mine families how to build barracks. <div>FIRST TURNING POINT at end of Act 1: Bucholtz brutally whips Irvin for building union barracks. Ragman saves Irvin from death. Irvins injuries force Ragman to take over the project and joining the union fight, Ragman wanted to avoid.
4. MIDPOINT: Buchotz stalks Ragman’s wife, Ludie. He barges into her father’s house, orders her brother to be taken away and beaten, tells one of his lackey’s to her sister upstairs and rape her. When alone he assaults Ludie, she resists, he threatens her, and knocks her unconscious and has his way. When Ragman returns, she and her sister lie about what happened to protect Ragman. Ludie aborts her pregnancy, cuts off her hair, and becomes severely depressed. Bucholtz confronts her at the bus stop, astounded at the change. He asks about their child. She pushes him away telling him she killed it. He directs his rage at Ragman. Bucholtz ambushes and arrests Irvin. Ragman breaks him out of jail.
5. SECOND TURNING POINTat end of Act 2 – Ragman accosts the young coal and iron trooper looking for Ludie’s young sister, Riese.They tussle. The young man confides to Ragman about Bucholtz raping Ludie and impregnating Reise. Ragman goes berserk and runs through the fields so not to beat up the boy. Ragman moves Ludie and his sons away from Russellton. Irvin dies; Ragman, guns pointed at his body, takes on Bucholtz. Bucholtz admits he raped Ludie and is the 17th man. He bites off off Ragman’s ear-lobe. The township constable saves Ragman by arresting him.
6. CRISIS- Bucholtz gets drunk, irrational, and murders a scab and blames it on the miners. His men know the truth. The young trooper, Reise’s boyfriend, defects and brings Ragman pages ripped from Bucholtz notebook, showing a plan for a massacre. Ragman decides break his vow never to kill again, and plots to kill Bucholtz.
7. CLIMAX: The day of the planned massacre, Ragman in disguise, blends with the crowd a knife hidden in his coat. If he succeeds and get caught he will be executed for murder, if he fails, Bucholtz will kill him. Bucholtz thugs infiltrated in the crowd turn the peaceful protest into a riot. Bucholtz rides in on his horse whipping people in his path. The picket line line links arms. The crowd surges, Ragman pushed too far away and must now improvise. Bucholtz’s aims his gun at the organizer. Ragman picks up a rock and slingshots it at Bucholtz. Unsteady from the blow, Bucholtz shoots missing his target. The horse spooks, rears up, dumps Bucholtz, and the beasts hooves beat on his master’s head. The horse then surges through the crowd.
8. RESOLUTION: Bucholtz dies, trampled by his own horse, massacre stopped. Striking miners and coal and iron police all rejoice. Ragman’s role remains undetected.
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Matthew Frendo’s Story Map
What I learned doing this assignment was how to put all the tracks together to make a rough draft outline.
OPENING
– Jacob is a CIA black ops “wetwork” man. He gets the wrong intel and he
kills a kid…on the same day his kid was born back home.CUT TO FUTURE – he never left the area to go back home, feeling too guilty about what happened, and decides to live as a Buddhist monk in a small South American village near where the incident happened.
M1 – MOTIVATION:
After retiring to this small town to make up for his sins, Jacob is taken
in by a peaceful family, who show him love. He starts to help the town and
finds some good in his life again.INCITING
INCIDENT – the cartel sends some people to rough up the father of the
family that took Jacob in, because he won’t turn his fields into cocaine
fields. Jacob fights them off, but doesn’t kill them. Now, the bad
guys are swearing revenge on him.V2 – DILEMMA/SEND MORE: Nestor kills his own men for losing to a priest. He then sends his main enforcer and some bigger men to handle it.
A2 – FIGHT – a bigger and more deadly fight happens, with Jacob badly hurting a man.
M3 – OBSTACLE: Jacob decides to leave, as he doesn’t want to be a killer again.
FIRST
TURNING POINT AT THE END OF ACT I – The bad guys try to kidnap a kid from
the family that is close to Jacob.A3 – PURSUIT – Jacob follows them to stop them and they end up killing the kid.
A4 – FIRST KILL – Jacob kills the man who killed the kid.
M5 – OVERWHELMING ODDS: Now Jacob can’t leave. He is forced to leave his new life and morality behind to do what’s right. He stays to protect the town and help the family.
V4 – DILEMMA: Nestor doesn’t like that the kid’s dead as it will make the town too angry and they won’t work with him then. He can’t push them farther without the risk of turning them against him and he can’t be dealing with this with the CIA arriving soon.
A5 – DANGEROUS SITUATION – They tell some addicts to spread rumor that Jacob killed the kid to turn the town against him.
V5 – DECISION/ HAVE HIM KILLED: After the addicts spread the tale, he sends one of his men to talk a town wannabe thug into killing Jacob, saying he’ll be rich if he does.
A7 – FIGHT – Jacob beats local thug down.
A8 – SHOOTOUT – the men watching over the local thug shoots at Jacob and battle occurs. Jacob sends the man’s head back to Nestor on the river…right when the CIA guys appear to see it. Nestor is not happy.
MID-POINT
– Jacob realizes that the bad guys won’t stop and goes after them, killing
them in an opium den.A10 – DANGEROUS SITUATION – Jacob decides to blow up drug lab.
V6 – INFORMATION: He sends people out to get information on Jacob and find out why this priest can do so much damage.
M6 – TWIST: The cartel finally is forced to tell their CIA contact what is happening in their American member and ask for their help.
V8 – DECISION/MERCENARIES: Nestor hires CIA trained mercenaries to find Jacob and make an example of him.
A11 – SHOOTOUT / EVADE – Mercenaries come for Jacob and a fight occurs as he tries to evade at the same time.
V9 – INFORMATION: One mercenary comes back with Jacob’s dog tags. The CIA agent sees the dog tags and was a “friend” of Jacob’s back then. He tells Nestor all the horrible things Jacob has done in the area as an agent.
V10 – TURN TOWN AGAINST HIM: Nestor makes sure town finds out the stuff Jacob did as black ops. They do turn against him this time.
SECOND
TURNING POINT OF ACT ii – The town banishes Jacob after finding out what
he did in the past.M7 – APPARENT DEFEAT: They use his own weakness against him by kidnapping a young girl from the town. He goes after the girl, knowing he’s walking into a trap. They trap him.
A13 – TORTURE: Jacob’s CIA “friend” helps them torture Jacob the same way Jacob tortured people as a black ops agent. They throw him into the river, leaving him for dead.
M8 – TWIST: he washes up on shore and is found by a tribe living on the outskirts of the town. The tribe’s shaman wakes him up and they heal him.
M9 – APPARENT DEFEAT: While he is healing, the town is taken over and people are forced to start harvesting drugs.
M10 – NEW PLAN: Jacob works with the tribe of outsiders to make a new plan, using makeshift weapons from what they can find around them.
V11 – FULL ON TAKEOVER: Knowing Jacob was banished, Nestor enters the town with close to his whole army to make a show of force and an example.
CRISIS
– Nestor brings his army to take the town for himself. Jacob is barely
well and must either stay and get better or go help themA14 – SHOOTOUT / DANGEROUS SITUATION – Jacob must fight Nestor’s whole army to save town.…even though they banished him and it might kill him.
M11 – FULL-OUT
ATTACK: Jacob and the tribe attack to free the town, using their weaponry
and skills against the overwhelming odds. Jacob takes on his ex-CIA friend
and kills him, the follows Nestor.CLIMAX
– Jacob follows Nestor into a cocaine lab, where they battle it out with
guns and then knives and ends with fists.A15 – FIGHT – final fight with Nestor, where he ends him.
V13 – FITTING ENDING: Nestor is killed after a beaten Jacob throws him into a vat of acid used to make cocaine.
RESOLUTION
– Jacob decides to stop hiding out and go back to his family.0 -
Subject line: Joan Edwards’ Story Map
What I learned doing this assignment is that by putting the different tracks in the story map, you insure you have the mission, the villains attacks, and the action demanded by the mission and the villain’s attacks.
Action
Competition
Capture
Escape
Interrogation
Chase/Pursuit
Dangerous Situations
FightBladen’s Revenge
VILLAIN 1 Ansaca Kennelworth’s lawyers draw up First and Second Mortgages and have people sign them-not realizing it was two different mortgages with two different payments each month.
VILLAIN 2 Ansaca there when in 1980 scene of Bladen and his parents being kicked out of home and 40 other homes in same neighborhood were foreclosed on. It’s now a Ghost town of empty homes with foreclosure signs up front.
ACTION 1 FIGHT LOST FIRST; MAN TAUGHT HIM TAE KWON DO
living in car, children making fun of Bladen Scene of students making fun of Bladen for sleeping in car. He learned to defend himself. Man in neighborhood taught him Tae Kwon Do
ACTION 2 ANOTHER FIGHT, THIS TIME HE BEAT UP 3 BOYS WHO ATTACKED HIM
VILLAIN 3 Inciting Incident Ansaca scams Bladen’s Grandmother retirement money in an investment from the Bulwark Bank where Ansaca is CEO now.
ACTION 3 Bladen interrogates his mother to find out the deal that was fraudulent. Looked in paper. Many others cheated out of life savings. No one caught as being responsible. All of them have bank accounts with Bulwark Bank.Bladen goes to bank and talks with bank official,l Hank Smith who set up his Grandmother’s account. When Bladen leans on him by throwing a knife and just missing his chin and hitting the wall. He tells that Ansaca made up the deal and told them they had to sell it or be canned. Their children needed food. Bladen told him he’d better give him more facts or his children were going to be fatherless. So he told Bladen about the banking convention. And gave Bladen his credentials for getting in.
MISSION 2 Bladen disguises as Hank Smith who is unable to go to Convention of Banking CEOs because Bladen threatened to make his children orphans.
VILLAIN 4 Ansaca brags at the Convention of Banking CEOs to Hank Smith that no one could break into his bank and steal any amount of money and definitely couldn’t transfer funds out of the bank without him and his team knowing it.
VILLAIN 5 Ansaca states he will kill anyone who passes his security points.
MISSION 3 Bladen heard from his old neighbor that he had condemning evidence from foreclosed homes that would put Ansaca in jail. Ansaca learns the same information. The party is trying to get the most money from either Bladen or Ansaca. Then decides he’ll let them both know and let them race to see who gets there first.
ACTION 4 Chase to get to Craig Newhouse first, would get the information. Turns out that someone else learned about it and wrapped Craig up and there was a note there when Bladen got there that said. What you seek is gone. With funny signature. Bladen dec ided to hide out to see what happened when Ansaca came. Evidently he had someone watching and he never showed up. Actually, his car ran out of gas. He sent one of his guys to look. They came back and told him about the note. Ansaca said, Huh. I think Bladen has it. “If Bladen enters my bank, I’m going to kill him.” One of his buddies said, he might not have the information with him. Ansaca says no one has the incriminating evidence except for me. Not to worry.
VILLAIN 6 Ansaca said no one could get to him. He had people in high places and people hidden who would stop anyone from breaking into his bank or his home. No one, especially not anyone from that decrepit neighborhood could get him arrested.
First Turning Point at end of Act 1
VILLAIN 7Ansaca finds out that Bladen has been asking questions about the security of his bank. He asks his Security team to investigate to find out who Bladen is and would he be able to do it. His team can’t find anything about Bladen at first
VILLAIN 8 Then he discovers that he has a restaurant. He sends guys to check out the restaurant. They come back saying it’s legitimate and that Ansaca should eat there. Ansaca says he has nothing to fear from Bladen. Bladen in disguise serves them food. Bladen chops things in fine little pieces.
MISSION 4 Bladen as adult works with Security Systems. Bladen investigates the security company that set up the security. He’d seen their trucks at the bank a few weeks before. Knew what kind of set up they were famous for.
ACTION Broke in to security company’s computer and stole secrets to locks on Bulwark Bank and Ansaca’s home.
MISSION 5 Bladen goes to bank to look around. One of the guards spots Bladen and he has to depart quickly.
ACTION 9 They chase Bladen in one room and another in the loft area where the safety deposit boxes are stored. Bladen excapes through elevator inside the vault. He notes what he has to do next time…sees the kind of locks they have. Combination key, electronic, and fingerprint – no it’s saliva – spit empowered opening.
VILLAIN 9 Escalation: Ansaca calls Bladen on the phone and asks him what’s up with his scouting expedition. Tells Bladen he’s onto him and his grandparents’ home is in jeopardy if Bladen does more investigating. DIRECT ORDER TO KILL ON SIGHT: Ansaca orders his men to kill Bladen if he is caught inside the vaults in the bank.
MISSION 6 Breaks in and enters bank in disguise to see safety box in vault. He discovers papers that prove Ansaca’s guilt in the oversell of mortgages and foreclosures.
ACTION Bladen finds out the vaults are empty. They don’t have anything in them. He figures they must be at Ansaca’s home.
MISSION 7 Mid-Point Bladen calls on his 7 playground buddies who are now in high places in CIA, SWAT team, Makeup and disguises in Hollywood. Full out Attack: Using Seven Strategies they kidnap Ansaca’s guards and take their places.
ACTION 7 GUYS GET INTO ANSACA’S HOME.
Second Turning Point at end of Act 2 –
VILLAIN 10 Ansaca hides out in his home thinking Bladen is only interested in the money in the vaults at the bank. Sends his highest skilled men to watch out for Bladen.TURNS OUT THE GUYS PLAY CARDS, DRINK BEER AND Bladen leaves beer bottles with whiskey in them so they are so loaded they can’t walk.
Crisis
VILLAIN 11 Ansaca kidnaps who he believes is Bladen. And relaxes at the beach thinking everything is okay. It was a fake Bladen that he kidnapped.
MISSION 8 Ansaca goes to bank alone. He puts documents he needs from vault in a big briefcase and is about to escape when Bladen stands in front of him blocking his exit. And real Bladen gets inside vaults. Bladen pins guards to the wall with his knives and daggers. He hogties them and mummifies them with ropes and huge double-sided cellophane tape.
Climax
MISSION 9 Ansaca and Bladen meet face to face at the beach. Ansaca has a briefcase with him. Bladen gets the briefcase. His seven guys surround Ansaca and arrest him. Bladen’s men transfer all Ansaca’s money and assets to bank account in Switzerland. Ansaca has to step down as CEO and thinks he’s off free except the CIA/FBI arrest him for fraudulently mishandling money and approving loans for people who can’t afford to pay them back. Plus in the briefcase files they find proof that he killed yada yada yada and his family.
ACTION 8 Bladen does Tae Kwon Do and forces Ansaca to drop his briefcase. His seven guys hold him for the police to come to arrest Ansaca for murdering and a family and cheating people out of money on mortgages and fraudulently scamming his grandmother’s savings and others..
MISSION 10 Ansaca is arrested; goes to Federal Penitentiary in Solitary Confinement while trial goes on. Epilog: Behind bars in federal prison in solitary confinement; Trial ends 3 years later. In prison for the rest of his life; no parole allowed.
MISSION 11 Money distributed to families who lost homes and money in foreclosures.
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Cameron Martin’s Story Map
What I learned doing this assignment is…another way of coming up with at least 40 scenes that keep the pace of the script moving. Also, with the mentality learned from the previous assignments, I could kind of just let go and get a rough outline on the page to see where and how things could fit (what works, what doesn’t make any sense at all, how are certain moments and action set pieces set up?) And, most importantly, this helps to see how the action, villain, and mission tracks support each other and establish a common theme or message.
Opening
A1. Janus protects and saves a little boy from a cyborg.
M1. The boy is missing a chip in his neck, something he needs to be admitted through the Afterlife Protocol. Janus takes him to her creator, Adam, to ensure the promise of eternal life.
V1. Adam recounts a story of how he made the world and created Guardian Angels, like Janus, to have dominion over it and its people in a sermon to the heavenly city, Arcadia.
A2. Janus competes in a game with her siblings to test their skill in protecting the city from the forces of the underworld. Janus wins with Adam watching.
V2. Adam invites Janus to a revelation of a power she didn’t know she had.
Inciting Incident
V3. Adam teaches Janus to duplicate herself. It is an act that relies on deleting the consciousness of the host, in order to use their body. Janus performs this act without being told the consequences.
M2. Janus, distraught, refuses to believe she can’t bring the victim back. She makes a plan with her copy to bring the person she killed back to life by stealing the code Adam used to create her and her siblings, and venturing to the source of the Nexus, the platform for the Afterlife Protocol, deep inside the underworld.
A3. Janus, with the help of her double, breaks into Adam’s personal library to steal the code.
A4. Janus fights her siblings on her way out of Arcadia.
V4. Adam begs Janus not to go, offering absolution in the form of erasing hers and everyone else’s memory of the victim so that no guilt can be felt or placed.
First Turning Point – End of Act 1
M3. Janus crosses into the Underworld.
V5. Adam addresses Arcadia and ostracizes Janus as a fallen angel and demon who must be stopped.
V6. Adam sells Janus out to a group a slavers: The first part of a trap.
A5. Janus confronts cyborg slavers and is captured.
Second Turning Point
M4. Janus and her double meet Calvex, a mute gladiatorial slave. He agrees to help them out of the Arena and guide her through the underworld, if she can rescue him from the Lightning Run and bring him his “voice.”
A6. Gladiator battle. Janus and her double try to recover Calvex’s “voice,” which is the arena prize. The fight is a way to punish and execute Calvex, who is running the Lightning Run. Calvex must fight electrical impulses to dodge and survive deadly obstacles.
A7. Janus secures the voice, but…
A8. A platoon of Adam’s robot sentries enter the ring and tear the original Janus apart.
M5. Janus learns she can reincarnate anywhere, since she was given free will. She returns to life inside her double’s body and shares it with her.
A9. Janus fights through, giving the voice to Calvex, who uses it to gain control of a mechanized giant and escape with Janus.
V6. Adam devises a plan to break Janus by using the family of the person she killed.
A10. Adam links a conversation between Janus and the family. Janus’ double stays out of the way and watches Janus feel the full weight of her guilt.
Midpoint
M6. Janus reaches a village just outside a fortress that guards the source of the Nexus. Janus is thanked by the village for saving Calvex. The original Janus is given a robot surrogate to possess, so that she and her double can be in separate bodies.
A11. Cavlex takes the original Janus hunting to calm her nerves, while the duplicate Janus stays with the village.
A12. Duplicate Janus defends the village from Adam’s Guardian Angels who tell her she shouldn’t even be in the underworld, and offer a place in Arcadia as Janus’ replacement on the condition of killing her counterpart.
V7. Adam tells the Duplicate Janus how to kill the original, but also worries to himself that he may have just given an answer on how to end him as well.
A13. Calvex and Janus return to the village to stave off the Guardian Angels. The rift between the two Januses widens.
A14. Calvex leads Janus to the fortress. Adam is guarding it and…
M7. Allows Janus to try and bring her victim back to life. Upon learning affirmatively she can’t bring the person she killed back to life…
Fourth Turning Point
V8. Adam snaps the trap. The fortress defenses go up and Janus’ double tries to hill her original half.
A15. The original Janus and Calvex battle with the defenses and Janus’ dark side. Calvex sacrifices himself and Janus’ copy is deleted.
M8. Janus is able to plug Calvex into the Nexus to try to admit him through the Afterlife Protocol.
End of Act 2
M9. Calvex dies. Janus returns to the village to give the bad news and ask for help.
V9. Adam, upon losing control in the Underworld, sees and Omen. He threatens Janus to never return, or he’ll destroy the world again.
Crisis
M10. Janus must choose whether to save Calvex or risk everyone else’s doom. Janus chooses to take action, believing the means justify the ends.
A16. Janus gathers forces in the Underworld to take Arcadia and rid the world of Adam.
Climax
A17. Battle for Arcadia on the surface…
A18. Meanwhile, underneath, Janus leads a party to Adam’s library, where his code is kept. Her siblings intercept her and she fights them again under different circumstances. Janus breaks through…
V10. Adam takes over all of his followers to form a wall and sends satellites down into the underworld.
A19. Janus fights on, reaching the mainframe and source of Adam’s code.
V11. Adam offers eternity with Calvex in exchange for his life – If Janus kills Adam, it would erase her too, since her code is intertwined with his.
M11. Janus sacrifices herself and kills Adam.
Resolution
M12. Humanity is free again and must decide for themselves how to manage the power they hold once again.
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Dwight Tincher’s Story Map
I learned that this method is a great way of fleshing out the structure and fitting all of the pieces together.
The opening scene is when a young tribal hunter goes on his quest to kill a lion and fulfill his passage to manhood. As he stalks his prey, the lion is killed by a giant unseen beast who then kills the youth.
A1 – I’ll start with the beast attacking the tribal hunter at night to introduce us to it and scare the audience, but it won’t be clearly seen.
V1A -The beast attacking a lone young tribal hunter in the dark
The next scene introduces our hero as she helps her fellow marines win small but an important battle.
M1 – A marine battle where our hero’s sharpshooting skills win the mission
A2 -Next I want to use the marine battle where our hero’s skills not only win the mission but seriously injure her former friend now turned traitor. This traitor will later turn out to be the head poacher’s boss
V1B – The poachers attacking a herd of elephants.
M2 – A confrontation between our hero and the elephant poachers.
A3 -Then we’ll have the poachers attacking the elephant herd followed by our hero’s confrontation and capture of the poachers. This will establish the poachers as lacking any morals and establish our hero as a proper hero.
The inciting incident is at the safari caravan’s lunch stop where the giant beast kills one of the tourists.
A4- I’ll finish the first act with the beast attacking a resting safari caravan, this will be the inciting incident to bring our hero in on the mission to kill the beast
V2A – The giant beast attacking a safari caravan and watering or resting herds.
The first turning point at the end of act one is when our hero sees the carnage and the photos of the attack. She decides she must lead the hunt to track down and kill the giant beast.
.A5 – I’ll build on that in the second act with a second attack of a safari by the beast to show his brutality and further establish the need to kill him.
M3 – The hero and her team chasing the wild beast
A6 – Due to logistics our hero’s team must take along the captured poachers as they start tracking the beast, this adds difficulty to the beast hunt and sets up later action scenes.
A7 – At the second attack site we are introduced to our hero’s father. We learn why he is important to the mission and how he actually killed one of the giant beasts years ago.
A8 – The team has to camp down for the night as a storm rages overhead. During the night, they are attacked by snakes and lions, I’ll admit this is some gratuitous action, but it also establishes just how dangerous a situation they are in.
M4 – Attacks from other predator animals during the search
The midpoint of the movie is when the poachers escape and disable the transportation and communication while killing and wounding members of our hero’s team. The mission changes from tracking the giant beast to one of survival.
A9 – After the attacks, the poachers escape, and in a shootout kill and injure members of our hero’s team and disable their transportation and communication, this heightens the stakes for our hero as she must find out some way to proceed and eventually succeed in her mission.
V2B – An escape and attack by the elephant poachers
A10 – In the third act, after the hero’s team has tended to the wounded and repaired their transportation, they give chase to the poachers
The second turning point at the end of act two is when our hero tracks down the poachers. Here she must also face off against her ex-friend turned traitor
A11 – This time they catch up with the poachers before they have started to attack the elephants. There is a battle between the poachers and the hero.
M5 – A second confrontation with the poachers during an elephant hunt.
V3B – The poachers starting a second elephant attack
A12 – The lead poacher is stomped to death by the elephant pack herd leader. The hero has a one-on-one battle with her former best friend turned traitor who was financing the poachers all along. After a fierce battle our hero kills the traitor, this sequence ends the threat from the poachers and scores a victory for our hero in one of her missions.
The crisis comes at the end of the showdown with the poachers when the giant beast suddenly attacks and injures our hero’s father. She must decide to either continue hunting the giant beast or rush her father to get medical attention
. A13 – Just when it ends the beast shows up and gores the pack leader and lifts it over its head before throwing it to the ground. The beast then attacks the poacher’s transportation before turning its attention towards our hero. She fires off a shot and hits it in the leg sending it tumbling down before getting up and hobbling back into hiding, this establishes the beast sheer strength but at the same time exposes a slight vulnerability
M6 – A battle with the giant beast with the beast coming out on top and disappearing
V3A – The beast chasing down our hero’s team
The climax is the final showdown with the giant beast. Our hero will not back down despite the insurmountable odds against her
. A14 – The hero’s team regroups and pursues the beast and in the final confrontation, more of the hero’s team are injured before the beast is killed in a fireball explosion, this is sequence is used to culminate the mission.
M7 – A final confrontation with the beast leading to his demise
The resolution is after the beast is killed our hero finally comes to peace with her father
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Tarina’s Story Map
“What I learned doing this assignment is…?” Doing most of the work before and really working on your different track’s makes the story track work quite easily and seeing gaps or repetition very quickly.
1. OPENING
V23 Millionaire Maniac using a global assassination program to take over the economy, politics, and power in the world.
V4 The global assassination program are already working – he can give assassination orders to ordinary people with subliminal waves through the internet. This makes every person a weapon.
A1 Shows secretary, bodyguard, and driver busy on the internet in the morning or night before the attacks. They kind of stare into the screen blink for a long moment and continue as if nothing happened.
A3 A secretary suddenly throws her boss off the balcony looking dazed afterword’s not understanding what she had done.
A4 A bodyguard pulls his weapon and shoot his client.
A5 A driver with a senator drives full speed into oncoming traffic.
A2 Several world leaders and influencers are assassinated by people they know and trust. Chaos erupts all over the world in the matter of hours (as seen on news bulletins that report on the incidents above)
2. THE INCITING INCIDENT
V1 The Villain’s plan is in place before the Hero knows it.
V2 Unlimited money and resources.
V3 Unlimited bad guys to fulfil the hitman contract.
V16 He has an elaborate plan to take her out before she can shut down the program.
M11 Maniac uses everyday people to hunt her down as well as all his contacts and money.
M4 Krueger knows she have the code in her head that can destroy the global assassination program that his father forced her parents to develop.
A6 Nina is working in her office. Suddenly some of her colleagues start to act strangely (zombie like). More and more of them are joining. They start to converge on her with all sorts of office weapons. Scissors, plants, mail openers and bare hands. First one start to attack then another then another. They start to back her into a corner. No one is speaking. Suddenly they all start to attack, clubbing her, trying to fight and strangle her.
A7 It shows Nina evading and fighting free from her attackers. Confused she flee to safety; her heart is clearly racing she is trembling and anxious. Fighting to catch her breath she gets dizzy and pass out. She comes to with voices of concern from strangers around her. She pushes the people away and get to her feet stumbling away in a daze. Flashes of 54321
M6 When the girl starts to fear for her life the first clue to the puzzle unlocks in her brain
A8 She is feeling worse and worse… stumble and passes out again. When she comes too, she is not only seeing the flashes but also hearing her mother’s voice – find this…. find this…. find this. She knows she is not safe and go to a locker at a train station and retrieve a bag. In the bathroom of the train station, she violently vomits… confusion is clear… why is she sick… what happened in the office…
3. END OF ACT ONE: FIRST TURNING POINT
V24 Now we find out she have special brain capabilities, she have a code locked in her head.
M7 She needs to find the operatives that kept her save after she escaped waiting to testify against Krueger’s father. She trusts them to watch her back while she unlocks the puzzle in her head.
M8 Girl’s mission: Find the operatives that protected her.
M9 Unlock the puzzles in her head.
M13 New Mission: After she contact the operatives and they find her, she must follow the breadcrumb trail over the world to unlock the code, stay alive while being hunted down and stop program.
M10 Destroy the global assassination program with the code in her head.
A9 Krueger finds out that she is still alive… Find them, use all assets available at her last known location. Find the operatives that protected her last time… put a bounty on her head. Use facial recognition software and have the global assassination program ready for target. She must die – TODAY
M5 This is not only about the code in her head. It is also personal for him. He also wants to avenge his father’s imprisonment and death. He uses all his money, contacts, and the global assassination program to hunt her down.
V13 He knows her parents created the global assassination program and gave up their lives so that she could escape and stop the program.
V14 He hates her guts for escaping and he knows how intelligent she is and that the kill code to his program is with her…
V17 He knows that she was the one to lead the government to capture his father and provide the evidence needed to lock him in prison for life.
V18 He also keeps her responsible for the death of his father in prison. (His father’s death pushed him over his last bit of sanity and as revenge on the world he wants to fulfil his father’s wish to use the global assassination program to reshape the world economy, politics, and power. Their family will be reborn.
V10 He knows her very well as he was the only other kid in the underground lab where she and her parents were held captive and her would use to torment her for his own pleasure.
V11 He was part of her trauma back then by bullying her to win his father’s approval.
V15 He knows all her weaknesses as well as all her trauma and he intend to use it in every way he can.
M2 Her parents died to give her a chance to escape and deliver the evidence so that Krueger’s father can be put away in prison. They also locked the code in her brain as safeguard to the program.
M3 After years in captivity, she loves the freedom of her new world only now it is threatened by the son of the man that held her captive all those years ago – now he uses the world she loves to hunt her down.
A10 Together with the operatives she goes on the internet and search the flashback 54321 when looking at the image on the screen her head are filled with conversations with her parents that where locked away. In it she learns she must solve the flashback puzzles to get the kill code for the program that she knows existed, but thought was destroyed with her parents. She now knows it is in use and she must stop it. The moment she saw the image and heard her parents voices she started to feel better.
M12 She needs the internet to unwrap the layers of puzzles but every time she uses it, his opportunities to kill her become better and better.
A11 First fight with several fighters… they must get away with limited resources.
V5 Hunt her down. Car chase.
MIDPOINT
A12 After evading the attack, they collect some guns and hardware, start to figure out where to go next. Second flashback occur. This time the picture of a building. She is starting to feel ill again, and they need to keep on the move. Camaras pick them up through facial recognition and set Krueger’s men on them as well. They are in every city available on demand on a moment’s notice.
M16 Can she trust the operatives to keep her safe, can she trust her own abilities? Fight and run, fight, and run.
V9 Every time she uses the internet, she opens the window to use the global assassination program (she needs the internet to unlock the puzzles in her brain)
A13 (In both movies, the Heroes are still on their same journey, but something significant has changed. This gives a different meaning to the second half of the movie.) This may still need some work.
5. END OF ACT TWO: SECOND TURNING POINT
M14 Krueger influences one of the operatives sworn to protect her to kill her.
V6 He uses this operative to start a relentless hunt and attack on them.
A14 One of the operatives are influenced by the global assassination program and try to assassinate Nina. He fails only because after a massive and relentless fighting between him and the remaining operatives. They try to subdue him, but he keeps hunting them down. Dodging their heels. Now they are hunted by their own and he knows their tactics and plans.
M15 When he almost succeeds and his team must kill him, they understand the futility of what they are trying to do.
6. CRISIS/DILEMMA
M17 The code does not work just entering it into a computer. All was in vain. Enemies are closing in fast. It must be entered into the main frame.
M19 All operatives are either dead or gravely wounded.
M18 She realizes she must go to the facility where she was imprisoned with her parents.
M1 She and her parents (scientists) were held captive for years by this maniac’s father
M20 She must do this alone… but she panics when entering the facility and are captured.
V19 In the end she must face him in the facility where she was held capture with her parents.
A15 She must enter Krueger’s lab to enter the kill code. It is where she is vulnerable as this was where she was experimented on and lost her parents. It is part of her dark past. She fears Krueger.
V12 He would watch with his father as she and her parents were manipulated and tortured to do his father’s diabolical work.
7. CLIMAX
V7 Capture
V8 Mind games and torture
A16 She falls apart being tormented with her past and are captured. The final pieces of what happened to her in the past as well as how vengeful Krueger are comes to light when they come face to face. Krueger shows his final plans thinking that he has won as well as all his contempt for her. He tortures her physically and emotionally.
M21 She finds a way to clear her mind as she hears the voices of her parents urging her on.
A17 She finds a way to enter the computer mainframe room and enter the kill code. This leads not only to the destruction of the global assassination program, but she also has the opportunity to destroy some of the programs running in the lab that starts the whole facility to overheat and break down.
M22 She enters the kill code and destroy the program.
A18 Krueger truly goes ballistic and hunt her down. He captures her again and this time he is mean as hell.
M23 Out of his mind with rage after the program was destroyed Krueger starts to torture and toy with her, now she must face the maniac in the lab where she was tortured and kept as a kid.
A19 He is going to kill her; he will still win even if it only is by killing her.
M24 She breaks down unable to think, giving up the will to live and fight back. She just wants it to end.
A20 Krueger shows her a lab room with a young woman/girl inside being experimented on. He shows her that she is not special, he recreated her but even better and this time there were no parents that could shield the girl and protect her. This time he broke her and made her a living machine and weapon bound to his will.
M25 Through a glass panel she sees a girl being used in the same manner as she was as a kid.
M26 This fills her with rage, she confronts her fears, her past and uses that anger to unleash hell on the lab.
A21 It pushes her over all her fears and give her the final strength to kill Krueger and end this part of her life. She tries to rescue the girl but after seeing her kill Krueger the girl wants to kill her. In the end the facility is coming down on them and she must flee without the girl, leaving her at Krueger’s body.
8. RESOLUTION
V20 There she would fight all the trauma and demons from her past and kill the maniac son and destroy all that is left of him in the world.
M27 Killing the maniac, burning everything to the ground trying to save the girl.
V21 He will die just as his father did without leaving a family power dynasty to rule the world. He will die knowing he failed.
A22 The destruction of the facility. Nothing is left standing, and no one is left alive. She makes it out severely wounded and looks back at the same point where she stood when she escaped.
A23 The world is saved from the assassination programme. It came at a price… She came full circle in her journey. Can she now find peace?
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Ramelle’s Story Map
What I learned with this assignment is to intermingle the criteria of the Mission, Action, and Villains’ tracks together
Opening: Cinnamon Johnson is a high-powered African American Attorney, she is young, vivacious, and stunningly gorgeous. She has just been voted in as the new District Attorney for Los Angeles and the year is 2034.
Inciting Incident: Cinnamon grew up in a wealthy family. Her mother Chay married Grover Johnson, they were high school sweethearts. Chay was a Police Officer, but her husband was a hitman, one of the best in the business. When Chay became Lead Detective of her precinct she had no idea of her husband’s work status until an explosive drug deal where her husband decides to leave that life for a more straight and narrow path. After he leaves the life to spend more quality time with the love of his life, a child is born to them. Cinnamon Johnson they name the child. Grover becomes a stay-at-home dad, a life of bliss. When Cinnamon turns 5, mom is Lead Detective and bread winner; Grover becomes a stay-at-home dad with his daughter, even though he knows his past may catch up he tries to be settled as a husband and father. On rainy evening of June 8, Grover leaves the house to pick dinner from the local restaurant; he straps his daughter in the car seat unfortunately the car spins out of control and he crashes into a tree, fortunately some wearing what appears to be dark clothing pulls Cinnamon from the wreckage and she survives with minor injuries but since that day she had remembrances, nightmares, frustration, and wants to know what happened to Dad.
First Turning Point End of Act One: Cinnamon has long asked her mom about her dad, she has extremely sweet memories of him, but they are vague. Cinnamon has always made it a point to be smart, ambitious, ready and a power player. She graduated high school with honors. This is when her mother, Chay Johnson decided to marry a second time to a man named Rick Devin. Rick was a city official with ties to city government and planning. Chay and Rick had started dating when Cinnamon was 12; she grew close to Rick, he became the second father. Chay stopped working as a Police officer with the intention of helping her new husband with city planning. With Rick as a hard-edged City Councilman, he had enemies. The wedding was planned for July 25th. It was a beautiful day in Southern California. The wedding ceremony is at Rick’s palatial mansion on the hilltop. The groom is kept away from the blushing bride who is downstairs in the gazebo. The guests is making their way. Rick is inside with the groomsmen, and he tells them to leave when suddenly a knock at his front door, Rick answers and is confronted by an enemy. Meanwhile the wedding is about to get started. Cinnamon, who is only 17 at these times asks her mom.
Hero “Where is your groom mom?”
Villian “Of course it’s unlucky for the bride to see the groom. But the daughter can check on him for me, (wink)
Cinnamon goes into the house and finds Rick dead of a gunshot wound on the kitchen floor on his wedding day. After Rick’s death, Chay Johnson runs and wins the City Council position from sentimental support.
Mid Point: The death of two fathers has been tormenting to Cinnamon. Chay has kept silent about the tragedies. Is the silence a deep regret, sorrow or hiding the truth?
Second Turning Point at end of Act 2: Cinnamon wants to solve the mystery in the deaths of her father and stepfather, yes even though the marriage didn’t take place she still sees Rick as a stepfather; plagued by these devasting memories she asks her mom. She graduates high school with top honors, enrolls in law school, passes the bar, and lands a job at the Snyder Firm. With her beauty and vivacious manner, she and Lou Snyder develop a special friendship. They get close, become lovers and her confidant, lover and friend ends up dead. Why are the men in her life see an unfortunate doom?
Crisis Cinnamon has no choice but the put these tragedies to rest. Unknowing after Snyder’s death her the Firm in his will and she takes the lead on finding truth. Whoever pulled her from the wreckage with her father knows something? Who is responsible for Rick Devins death? Who would have it in for Snyder?
Climax: She decides to become an undercover operative. Let the games begin.
Resolution: She finds a new love Clash Stevenson and gets the answers, piece by piece by piece.
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ACTION Lesson 7 Assignment : Kimbal Thompson’s Story Map 12.26 21
What I learned doing this assignment is there are many more places for action.…
1. Start with the structure you built in Lesson 6:
2. Go back to your Mission track and label each step as M 1, M 2, M 3, etc.; V-1, V-2, etc., A-1,
A-2, etc.
3. Build the Mission steps, Villian steps, Action steps, into the Structure, applying them
wherever they might fit into the Story Map.
Act 1:
A-1 Scene 1:Elton speeding down Wildwood Lane on his new bicycle and the chain suddenly
breaking with Mr. Edgeson suddenly appearing from his uphill doorway asking Elton if something
was wrong. Sets up identity of protagonist and antagonist and their initial relationship
Scene 2: Elton watching Mr. Edgeson’s TV News report about UFO’s that evening. Sets up
Elton’s concern that Mr. Edgeson was strangely different.
A-2 Scene 3: Elton seeing unusual lights in Mr. Edgeson’s attic window from afar, sneaking out
and climbing Mr. Edgeson’s arbor to investigate into his attic window. Showed Eltons further
curiosity about something ‘not right’ was going on with Mr. Edgeson.
M-1: Scene 4: What Elton observed. Proved that there was a lot more going on.
A-3 Scene 5: The arbor falling backward with Elton and his hitting his head hard upon landing,
briefly conking him out. Provides a twist that enables Elton to question what he thought he had
witnessed.
V-1 Scene 6: Mr. Edgeson dispatching an alien to see had happened and the alien casting a
spell on Elton. Provided another twist to lead Elton to believe he had not seen anything out of
the ordinary.
M-2 Scene 7 (or more): Elton realizing that he had acquired some unique abilities like those he
thought he had witnessed in Mr. Edgeson’s attic, after all.
Act 2:
M-3 Scene 1: Elton seeing if he could transpose himself and re-appear in Mr. Edgeson’s house.
A-4 Scene 2: Finding that he could do this, once in the side the Edgeson residence, afraid that
he would be discovered, learning that he could miniaturize himself.
M-4 Scene 3: With these discoveries, deciding to become involved in Mr. Edgeson’s
conferences with aliens in his attic.
V-2 Scene 4:Joining in the conference, learning that he was accepted, and that Mr. Edgeson
was, in fact an alien in disguise, setting up the various governments on earth to hide the truth
about UFO sightings.
M-5 Scene 5:Discovering that the reason for this is for alien intelligence gathering for a plan to
attack earth.
M-6, V-3 Midpoint: Discovering that the date of the attack on earth is accelerated and that he,
Elton, may the one made responsible to name the date and lead the attack.
Act 3:
Scene 1: Elton realizes that he has gone too far without telling adults of what he has witnessed
and realizing that now he was really in over his head and that no one would believe him.
A-5 Scene 2: Elton refusing to cooperate with the aliens.
M-7,V-4,A-6 Scene 3: The aliens torturing Mr. Edgeson and threating to next abduct and torture
Elton’s parents.
Scene 4: Elton realizing that only he could defeat these aliens and save earth.
Scene 5: Elton devising his plan
M-8,V-5,A-7 Scene 6: Elton implementing his plan and at war with the aliens using superpowers
that he didn’t even know that he had. Elton and Aliens major fight scene.
M-9,A-8 Scene 7: Rescuing Mr. Edgeson in the process and learning that Mr. Edgeson was not
initially an alien.
M-10, Scene 8. The attack on earth averted, Elton and Mr. Edgeson realize that they may be
able to stem any future such plans by other aliens, yet to be realized.
Once you have built all three tracks into the story map, go through it one time and smooth out
the writing so it flows well enough to read and understand the basic story.0 -
Brenda Lynn’s Story Map
What I learned doing this assignment is that this tool is a great way to add depth, layers and dimension to the story. It seems like a more holistic approach to creating the story as opposed to imposing things on top of the initial outline, the layers become the driving forces.
Opening: Lisa trains with an elite soldier of Israeli fighters. She is recruited into a special task force to recover stolen artwork.
M1: Lisa is determined to recover artwork that has been stolen and return the items to their rightful owners.
A1: (Fight) Lisa trains with an elite soldier of Israeli fighters. She is recruited into a special task force to recover stolen artwork.
Inciting Incident: Marcus de Luca’s son is convicted for embezzlement and is sentenced to serve 20 years in federal prison. Marcus wants to use a stolen master piece by Rembrandt to get his son out of prison.
M2: She is recruited to infiltrate the Mob’s inner circle.
V1: Marcus’ son has been thrown in prison. He wants to use a piece of stolen artwork to as his “Get out of Jail Free” card.
A2: (Pursuit) Lisa is actually the pursuer, although Marcus, the mob boss, doesn’t realize that.
Purpose: Lisa’s ability to charm without giving away her true intentions.A3: (Dangerous Situation) Marcus’ son has been thrown in prison. He wants to use a piece of stolen artwork to as his “Get out of Jail Free” card. Lisa overhears where they are transporting the item.
First Turning Point at end of Act 1: Lisa lets Marcus seduce her and she gets into Marcus’ inner circle so she can get more information about the location of the painting.
M3: She has to get into the inner circle to find out where the artwork is begin stored.
V2: Marcus purchases the painting for $100 million. Now to get the painting back into the country without being discovered.
A4: Lisa chats up Marcus getting details as to where the painting is going without him realizing that is what she is doing.
Mid-Point: The painting is brought back into the country and put in a warehouse by LaGuardia airport.
M4: She discovers the artwork and works out a plan to get it out of the warehouse.
V3: Marcus de Luca wants to bed Lisa which clouds his judgment.
V4: With the urgency to get the painting into his possession, he takes a phone call in front of Lisa. She gets the information that she needs.
V5: He sets up a plan to have the painting stored in a warehouse near the Laguardia Airport.A5: (Deception) He has to secretly get the painting into the warehouse.
Second Turning Point at end of Act 2: Someone at the FBI tells Marcus that they know where the painting is going to be hidden.
M5: Her position inside the circle is jeopardized.
V6: When she relays the information to the FBI, it becomes clear that there is a mole inside the FBI. She has to figure out who it is before she is exposed.
V7: He gets the painting transferred to the warehouse.A6: (Dangerous Situation) Someone at the FBI tells Marcus that they know where the painting is going to be hidden.
Crisis: Lisa has to get to the painting and get out without damaging it. Marcus and his crew show up at the warehouse.
M6: She gets the painting but has to figure out how to get out without damaging the painting or getting killed.
V8: Marcus goes to the warehouse to get the artwork.
A7: (Rescue) Lisa recovers the painting.
Climax: Marcus pursues Lisa to the rooftop. They struggle over the painting. When the FBI shoots at both of them, Lisa knows she can’t trust the FBI.
In a final battle she pushes Marcus off the roof.
M7: List has to get away from Marcus. Hides the painting and runs to the rooftop.
V9: In retaliation, Marcus pursues Lisa to the rooftop of the building. He fights with her in an attempt to get the paintings back and to exact his revenge.A8: (Escape) Lisa has to escape without damaging or losing the painting.
A9: (Dangerous Situation) Marcus closes in on her location in the building.
A10: (Fight) Marcus pursues Lisa onto the rooftop. They fight hand-to-hand
A11: (Shootout) FBI flies over in a helicopter. They begin shooting at Marcus, but risk hitting Lisa as well.Resolution: Lisa returns the painting to the FBI. And then disappears. They discover the painting is a fake. Did Marcus swap out the painting or did Lisa?
M8: Lisa turns the painting over, but it turns out to be a forgery. What happened to the original painting? Can you say sequel?
A12: (Dangerous Situation) Marcus holds her over the ledge. She does a flip kick hurling him off of the building.
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Diana T. Black…Story Map
What I learned doing this assignment was that the narrative arc is reasonably covered in terms of the Mission and Action Track but wasn’t so sure about the Villain track. This assignment has saved me about a month of solid work – by mapping the story in this way – the tracks are clear and one’s knowledge and understanding of the narrative (and the characters) just gets deeper/more detailed. I will still construct a scene timeline to chart the A &B story, but I think it’s fairly solid now and will make it much easier to rewrite. However, a question remains. What if the Hero doesn’t know the identity of the Villain who’s after him yet? What if they’re yet to openly i.e. mano-a-mano clash? I’ve only listed the structural milestones here rather than the full narrative arc.
Episode One Only…
As the Credits Roll… V1…[Subjective Camera] – a computer server screen with monetary transactions being conducted across a LAN – one account emptied of $2M with the funds divided into amounts of $20K and deposited into a hundred different accounts on individual computers in the LAN. The final image – the hands of the perpetrator – wearing a unique diamond dress-ring on her right hand.
Opening
Scene: Day One (Friday Night)
V2 (Set-up)…A shrouded body is slashed with a hunting bowie (knife) and dumped into the shipping lane off the Port of Los Angeles.
Inciting Incident
Scene: Later…
M2…Keylan makes a phone call to the airlines (a friend) – Louise was never on the flight.
First Turning Point at end of Act 1
Scene: Day Seven (of the narrative) Thursday…
V11…Keylan receives a post-card from “Louise” stating that she’s waiting for him in Acapulco, with the money. It was delivered anonymously to the Firehouse.
A5…Keylan confides with Ange… wtf is going on? Ange tells him there’s only one way to find out – go there and confront her.
Beginning of Act Two
Scene:
M10… Keylan and V12…Dominic (who he doesn’t suspect) are both members of the Trust’s Board, Keylan confides in Dominic
V12 (Cont’d)… regarding the theft, the postcard, and the invitation to join her in Acapulco, Mexico. Dominic is “shocked” says he’ll inform the police.
M10 (Cont’d) Keylan doesn’t trust the local police after they never recorded the ransacking of Louise’s apartment
V12 (Cont’d) Dominic asks how he knows that.
M10 (Cont’d) Keylan is suspicious – bells tingling and won’t divulge how he knows/who told him).
V12 (Cont’d) Dominic offers to help him investigate bringing “Louise” to justice by sending a team from Interpol to support him in Acapulco.
Mid-Point
Scene:
B-story…Naomi’s Birthday Party is combined with “Family Night”. It’s extremely tense between Victor and Roslyn. Keylan tries to smooth the waters – not entirely successful. He’s distracted by Louise’s disappearance and his recent experience in Acapulco – he discusses it with Victor, who’s not really listening
V17…Nicole calls later that night to pick up Reuben and Lily. They wish to stay over – it’s fine by her. Nicole reveals that the investigation into the $2M theft now involves Keylan, seeing as how he “knew” Louise. “Suggest you get yourself a lawyer – you’re under suspicion.”
M16...Keylan doesn’t reveal that he presumes she’s murdered. V17 (Cont’d)…Nicole walks away. Reese has overheard – he’s never trusted Nicole. Keylan maintains she’s okay – he’ll do much to not rock the boat with her over the kids.
A7…Keylan and Reese agree, the stolen $2M must be found along with Louise.
Second Turning Point at end of Act 2
Scene:
B-story…Keylan stops in at the fire house situation and has Ange drill him for a blood sample – he doesn’t write his name on the label and takes a spare. Ange knows what he’s doing and seriously questions him “…you’re throwing your life and career away for the sake of a man who’s done (Victor) I’ve seen that look before. Keylan, you can’t always fix things. Sometimes people are just plain broken.” Keylan retorts “he’s a brother and it’s not happening on my watch. How many times as he “saved” me, Ange?!” She backs down. He softens, “Besides, I have high standing in this town and friends in high places. I’ll cop a fine and be demoted. Worse case, I’ll be booted out of the force – a small price to pay for a brother’s reputation. Adrian will have my back. “ Keylan leaves.
Crisis
Scene:
B-Story…Keylan arrives at the burning building to find Patrick playing the Hero in front of the cameras – beaming with false modesty while carrying out of the building a semi-conscious child. Reese can’t believe it but is too busy actually fighting the fire. Keylan marches over (cameras still rolling) and tears strips off Patrick who maintains Victor is still inside because there’s another victim, “Mandy”. Keylan hands control over to Reese (Patrick is ordered to follow Reese’s orders to the letter) and then enters the building. Reese has the rest of the crew douse the building from all sides.
Climax
Scene:
B-story…Keylan drags Victor (and the puppy) out the burning room. Keylan cradles him in his arms in the wet corridor. Victor hands over “Mandy”. He’s struggling to breathe. Keylan stares down at his friend’s burnt torso, arms, and neck – 3<sup>rd</sup> degree burns. He knows what it means – he’s dying. Keylan in tears and goes to pick him up. Victor refuses, “it’s better this way.” Keylan assures him Naomi will want for nothing. Keylan so upset over Victor, implores him to hang on. Victor dies in his arms. (unbeknownst to Keylan, Victor’s ghost rises out of his body and stands behind Keylan and his corpse). Keylan draws a blood sample from Victor and labels it with his own name… then writes Victor Malena on his own sample. Keylan pockets the puppy and drags Victor back into the fire – he’s virtually incinerated.
V21…Patrick is watching him from the shadows.
Resolution
Scene:
B-Story…Keylan now outside at the ambulance station is confronted by a Police Officer – he must present himself tomorrow to the local police station. The Officer doesn’t say why.
Scene:
B-Story & M19… Keylan pays Adrian a visit. There are bells
ringing…this all has to be connected in some way. Adrian agrees but he cannot
be seen to be helping Keylan. He tells him he’ll hook him up with the best
Defense Lawyer he knows, Emma Kendrick.0 -
Christopher Dalbey’s Story Map
What I learned doing this assignment is that by mapping out things in this manner creates more variety to story layering. It feels like this approach also creates more opportunity for multiple driving forces to move the story flow along more dynamically.
Opening: Phara struggles to deliver her speech at her campaign rally. The rally is broken up by criminal and police activity happening nearby.
M1: Going by the low voting results, Phara is determined to beat out senator Triano to win the mayoral race and strategizes with her team back at headquarters.
A1: Phara attends a political convention held by her adversaries where she receives an invitation from senator Triano to a secret society party, an opportunity to ‘make friends with the enemy.’
Inciting Incident: Phara is visited by her estranged mother who advises her to come home. Phara ignores her mother’s wishes and goes to the secret society party that turns out to be an underground sex party where Phara is raped and murdered.
M2: She struggles to figure out her new identity as voodoo incarnate Maman Phara.
V1: Senator Triano wipes the slate clean by addressing the public about his concerns surrounding Phara mysterious disappearance. Senator Triano forms an underground team to cover all tracks.
A2: Phara’s transformation has deemed her unrecognizable as she meanders between the subworld and her former reality.
Purpose: Phara coming to terms that her connection to the voodoo world runs deep and that her new purpose is to seek justice as underworld Goddess, Maman Phara.
A3: from the outside looking in, Phara seeks help in confiding with her campaign team, her closest friends, but has no success because they don’t recognize her and only see her as a freak.
First Turning Point at end of Act 1: Phara finds herself face to face with the participants who stole her mortality from her. But realizes her newfound powers when she is able to fend off her attackers with supernatural abilities.
M3: Realizing her supernatural abilities cements her new purpose to serve justice by seeking out those that wronged her in her mortal life.
V2: Senator Triano recruits members of Phara’s team for his campaign while his underground goons capture Maman Phara when she is most vulnerable – during the daylight hours.
A4: One of senator Triano’s men sides with Phara and helps her escape the dungeons of the underworld.
Mid-Point: Nowhere else to turn, Phara reconnects with the voodoo community and is embraced and celebrated.
M4: She is reunited with her family via the voodoo community and forms a new plan for vengeance.
V3: Senator Traino has an insider in the voodoo community and is informed of Phara’s renewed alliance and is prepared for Maman Phara’s counterattack.
V4: Maman Phara and voodoo allies do battle with senator Triano and his underground army.
V5: Senator Triano gains momentum in his campaign trial and sets plans to secure his seat as mayor of New Olreans.
A5: The underground rivals also have voodoo powers and make it challenging for Phara and her allies to succeed in bringing down senator Triano.
Second Turning Point at end of Act 2: Senator Traino wins the mayoral race in New Orleans, making it more difficult for Phara to get to him.
M5: Her resources in the voodoo community are exhausted and now has the FBI on her tail with footage of her taking out politically connected persons.
V6: SenatorTriano offers his resources in cooperation to helping find Maman Phara.
V7: Senator Traino secretly sees a voodoo priest where a spell is cast upon him and morphed into a Voodoo deity to combat Maman Phara.
A6: It’s Mardi Gras and Maman Phara guises herself in a variety of costumes so as to go incognito and penetrate the underworld without FBI detection.
Crisis: Time is running out for Phara. If she is unable to eliminate those that destroyed her before Mardi Gras is over, her soul is to vanish in the afterlife forever. But, if she is to succeed, Phara will transform back to her mortal self and resume her life.
M6: It is the height of Mardi Gras and Phara needs to move more quickly if she is to find senator Traino.
V8: Senator Triano revels in the glory of his voodoo powers and exercises them violently throughout Mardi Gras.
A7: Senator Triano – as the voodoo deity Kalfu – and Maman Phara come face-to-face with one another.
Climax: Maman Phara and Kalfu face off in the streets of the French Quarter, during the last night of Mardi Gras. What was once a battle between two mayoral candidates is now a duel between two voodoo deities.
M7: Phara has to figure a way to defeat Kalfu and also be extra careful to not get noticed by the FBI who are rampant on the streets as well.
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