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Post Day 8 Assignment Here
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Robert Wood’s Beat Sheet Draft 2
What I learned doing this assignment is how much of my story is still revealing itself to me. It’s feeling a little too sweet to me – I think I’m going to have to be careful to keep it from becoming overly sappy. My Antagonist is very much a motivational agent of change as opposed to a real “baddie”… Anyway, it is what it is, and I’m excited to start the actual script-writing tomorrow!
Theme: Follow your dreams.
ACT 1:
INT. CAR – DAY
OPENING: In car, driving to dad’s house, talking to sister on speaker about what he must do. Edgy and agitated. He doesn’t want to do this or be responsible for it. Matt complains about time away from work. (Stuck in work routine – no time for dreaming.)
INT./EXT. GAS STATION – DAY
Stops at gas station – buys cigarettes. Has a smoke before getting back in car.
INT. CAR – DAY
Driving up to the family house – lots of memories.
INT. FAMILY HOUSE – DAY
Uses his key and goes in. Quiet. Looks around a bit and goes into the…
INT. FAMILY HOUSE – DEN – DAY
The office is still full of Ogopogo stuff – some things never change.
INCITING INCIDENT: Dad (Bert) shows up. They chat. Bert is still obsessed with the creature, but also disappointed that he’s never found it, or conclusive proof. Matt doesn’t understand him.
INT. FAMILY HOUSE – KITCHEN – DAY
TE 1: Time to make dinner – Matt brought some food. Matt talks about his work / liquor store – it’s all-consuming. But he doesn’t seem happy about it. No spark of joy. Bert loved the sales job at the furniture store, but even more loved every weekend off to take his son Ogopogo hunting… was it more for himself? Back when kids could dream. (Subtext is that Matt can’t ream anymore.) Throughout, Matt is quick to judge / Bert’s critiques – although unintended – cut deep. Matt realizes his relationship with his dad hasn’t changed.
EXT. FAMILY HOUSE – DOCK – NIGHT
TURNING POINT: Drinks & talking & bickering outside on the dock. Bert criticizes everything: Matt’s cooking gave him heartburn; Matt’s smoking, etc… Eventually talk about old times leads to decision (Bert urging / Matt relenting) to go out on one last exploration trip tomorrow.
ACT 2:
EXT. CONVENIENCE STORE – DAY
NEW PLAN: Morning – Matt exits convenience store with bag of supplies for the day… Bert waits in the car and then goes through the bag after Matt gets in the car… Bert criticizes purchases – terrible for his health – Pringles and chocolate bar. Matt points out the sandwich and water… Matt can’t do anything right. Matt’s doing this trip is to appease his dad, but really it’s to avoid the task he’s there to do.
EXT. BOAT RENTAL PLACE – DAY
Boat rental & embark on their final adventure together …
EXT. BOAT ON LAKE – DAY
PLAN IN ACTION: Calm day on the water. No sign of the creature – It’s futile / Matt’s not as enthusiastic but keeps going for Bert’s sake. But better head toward where he lives… Rattlesnake Island / Squally Point.
Searching as they go… lots of Ogopogo talk as they go – Bert knows it all! Being out on the water doesn’t Matt remember the fun they used to have? Yeah, but that was then. Childhood nonsense. Waste of time. Gotta grow up sometime. Does that mean settling and giving up your dreams? It’s called being an adult… Maybe Bert never did that.
Arrive at…
EXT. RATTLESNAKE ISLAND – DAY
TE 2: There – going to have lunch on the island. Gets close / drops anchor / throws pack over to land and cellphone and cigarettes fall out mid-air and drop into the water. Matt dives in after the phone, but it’s trashed. Has lunch on island.
EXT. BOAT AT ISLAND – DAY
MIDWAY TURNING POINT: Boat motor won’t start again. Struggles with it – no luck. Someone will come by, but no…
EXT. RATTLESNAKE ISLAND – NIGHT
Matt and Bert spend the night on island. Bert wishes Matt sweet dreams.
ACT 3:
EXT. RATTLESNAKE ISLAND – MORNING
RETHINK EVERYTHING: They wake in morning to storm squall blowing through. So much for dreams – Matt thinks it’s a fucking nightmare! Quick rain with thunder and lightning – dangerous here in the summer! Matt is starting to be put to the challenge by events he can’t control.
EXT. RATTLESNAKE ISLAND – DAY
NEW PLAN: Engine still won’t start… more criticism from Bert. They’re gonna have to hoof it!
EXT. RATTLESNAKE ISLAND / LAKE – DAY
Matt and Bert swim across the short distance from Rattlesnake Island to shore. Long walk ahead, heading north toward Kelowna…
EXT. LAKE SHORELINE – DAY
TE 3: Not long after they start off, they see that lightning started a fire up on the mountain above – it’s starting to come down. Must go faster. Smoke increasing. Bert knows how much danger they could soon be in.
Getting smokier / fire is moving faster than they are and is getting closer.
EXT. LAKE SHORELINE – DAY
Matt waves to water-bomber / helicopter but isn’t seen. Matt and Bert continue their ongoing back and forth – Attack / Counter Attack.
EXT. LAKE SHORELINE – DAY
TURNING POINT: Matt falls/slides down ravine – twists ankle. Just a sprain, hopefully. Bert encourages him. Matt manages to climb back up and out. Has to use a stick to walk.
EXT. LAKE SHORELINE – DAY
TE 4: Matt struggles, perseveres. No longer bickering, Matt asks Bert why he stayed in the house, even after his mom died? Couldn’t leave – that’s where her memory still lives… and his dreams… Matt realizes he has become much closer to his dad through the adversity they’ve faced. How many dreams does Matt still have? Or how many memories are tied to the old house? It’s a good house. Great. Sure, it may need a lick of paint or two, but that’s minor. Matt’s feelings about the place are shifting – he’s getting ideas…
ACT 4:
EXT. LAKE SHORELINE – DAY
CLIMAX: They come to the worst challenge yet: their path is blocked by fire – there’s nowhere else to go! Is this the end? Matt and Bert are gonna have to swim around a section of land.
EXT. LAKE / LAKE SHORELINE – DAY
TE 5: Matt and Bert swim around the section of land on fire then get back to shore, hopefully past the worst of it. In the water Matt sees something he can’t explain. Was it Ogopogo or just a log bobbing in the water?
EXT. LAKE SHORELINE – DAY
Ashore, no sign of a log in the water – or anything else – Matt and Bert talk about what they saw, and Matt is re-opened to believing and now finally understands his dad. The child-like ability to dream is re-awakened.
EXT. LAKESHORE ROAD – DAY
Matt decides to change his life, stay in the family house, and follow his dreams in the wine industry. Bert is pleased and knows Matt is going to find happiness here… maybe even love… might be nice to have some grandkids running around the old house? Finally get to end of Lakeshore Road, struggling along, but now at peace with each other / their bond fully healed.
EXT. LAKESHORE ROAD – DAY
RESOLUTION: They encounter an emergency vehicle / park Ranger helping ensure everyone’s evacuated from the fire. Ranger helps Matt into the passenger seat and they head off… There was no one else with him – Matt was alone the whole time, and now is going to follow his dreams.
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Andrea Cabañas, Beat Sheet Draf2 2
What I learned from this lesson is how amazing having the theme working in parallel in all actions make the story flow easily, gives you more ideas about scenes, etc. Another craft learned here!
3. Do Pass 1: Interweave theme throughout the beat sheet.
ACT 1
INT. BEACH HOUSE BEDROOM – DAY – DREAM
OPENING: nightmare – Zoe dreams of having sex with a woman; her father watches them holding a bible in his hands. She wakes up with an orgasm.
TE 1: Zoe battles with her feelings toward Paula while James sleeps at her side.
INT./EXT CAR – DAY
James drives and doesn’t say much. For their short conversation, something was said but still not sure what.
EXT./INT. KATRINA’S HOUSE – DAY
James says goodbye. Zoe’s frustrated; she cries. Katrin sees her crying and tries to engage in a conversation, but Zoe doesn’t say much.
A new job proposal is cancelled. Katrina reacts, tells Zoe this happens because she’s not good enough.
INT. CAFE – DAY
Zoe tells Georgia that she told James she loves him. We learn Zoe’s a bit ashamed of being bisexual.
PLACEHOLDER: Georgia teases Zoe; reasons her mother can’t know about Paula; we know about Georgia’s secret lover and her relationship with her family. Is Georgia about to move with someone? Why she’s keeping the secret?
EXT. CAFE – DAY
Zoe, Georgia and Paula meet. Paula encourages Zoe to start her own business and helps her financially.
Katrina watches her daughter from a distance in her car.
INT. KATRINA’S HOUSE – DAY
Katrina rages, knowing her daughter is having sex with another woman. Zoe denies. Katrina shows pictures of Zoe together with Paula—she hired a private detective to follow her and has evidence of it. Zoe keeps denying it.
TE 1: Katrina yells at Zoe between arguments showing her dominant power over the daughter
PLACEHOLDER: they argue badly, and Zoe tells Katrina that she will leave her as soon as she gets a project. Katrina reacts.
INT. PAULA’S OFFICE – DAY
Zoe accepts Paula’s help, and both make plans for Zoe’s website. They talk about their relationship and make love. Zoe gains confidence and celebrates with Georgia in a pub.
INT. KATRINA’S HOUSE – NIGHT
Katrina hears when Zoe arrives. They talk, and Katrina pretends to be calmer—she even prepared dinner for her daughter. Zoe reassures her mother that she doesn’t have anything to do with Paula; it’s only business. Everything seems to be okay between them.
INT. KATRINA’S HOUSE – DAY
INCITING INCIDENT: Police investigators go to Katrina’s house and question Zoe about Paula, who has connections with a drug dealer from the Sinaloa Cartel and is in Australia.
Zoe denies her involvement with Paula (Katrina believed in her daughter). Police show pictures of her with Paula to Katrina despise. Katrina rages; it seems she’ll have a heart attack. They argue badly in front of the officers, who leave the house and a business card.
EXT./INT. GEORGIA’S HOUSE – NIGHT
Katrina expels Zoe from home—for the second time, she’s been banned from her house. Georgia receives her temporarily as she’s about to move in with a mysterious lover.
PLACEHOLDER: Zoe talks to Georgia, who’s speechless but also excited. She had never met a drug dealer before.
INT. PAULAS OFFICE – DAY
Zoe storms into Paula’s office and demands answers. Paula tells her she’s not part of the Cartel anymore but suspects what Juan wants. Zoe doesn’t want to know anything about Paula, who sends secretly one of her men to protect her lover 24/7.
INT. GEORGIA’S ART STUDIO – DAY
Zoe works on her website and sees a message from a potential client. She has a few missed calls from Paula. She cries silently as she misses her.
EXT./INT. RESTAURANT – DAY
TURNING POINT: Zoe meets with the Mexican drug dealer Juan, who introduces himself to her as Matias, a new client.
TE: Matias (aka Juan) pretends he’s a client looking for a project for his house
PLACEHOLDER: Paula sees Zoe having lunch with Matias/Juan. Paula needs to act and protect Zoe.
INT. KATRINA’S HOUSE – DAY
Zoe goes home to pick up more clothes, and Katrina convinces her to stay. She says that it’s okay if Zoe loves a woman and won’t interfere in their relationship.
PLACEHOLDER: Katrina talks to the police investigators saying that Zoe’s still seeing Paula. They can set up something to put Paula in jail (and leave her daughter alone).
INT. PAULA’S HOUSE – DAY
Juan breaks in into Paula’s home. We know about their past; he wants revenge after leaving the jail, and Paula owns him money.
PLACEHOLDER: Zoe leaves Paula’s home after a loving night; Juan threatens Paula of using Zoe as bait.
ACT 2:
INT. KATRINA’S HOUSE – ZOE’S BEDROOM – NIGHT
NEW PLAN – with Matias/Juan’s project, Zoe tells her mother she’ll leave home soon. Katrina starts to blackmail Zoe whenever she can emotionally.
PLACE HOLDER: Juan pressures Paula. Georgia’s trying to make her final gender confirmation surgery, and Zoe wants to help her financially? (To think about it).
INT. JUAN’S HOUSE – DAY
Zoe oversees Matias’ house project (the client’s house). He arrives and invites her for dinner. He seduces her, but she leaves.
INT. CAFE – DAY
Zoe tells Georgia she feels great and tells her that Matias is flirting.
PLACE HOLDER: Georgia meets Matias/Juan before (?). She asks about Paula. It makes Zoe get confused about her feelings; being 35 years old, she needs to ‘settle’.
INT. JUAN’S HOUSE – BEDROOM – NIGHT
PLAN IN ACTION – Zoe feels confident and sleeps with Juan. They had drinks; he snorts cocaine and offers it to Zoe, who tries some. When she drives back home, the police stop her—she loses her drivers license for drug/driving.
PLACEHOLDER: James calls Zoe but doesn’t answer it for the first time and feels great. An incident happens when she’s coming back home. Zoe can’t drive, depends upon public transports or her mother. Katrina takes the opportunity to persuade her daughter to put her ‘freedom project’ aside.
PLACEHOLDER: A mixture of feelings. She discovers her feelings for James are dissipating.
INT. PAULA’S OFFICE – DAY
MIDPOINT TURNING POINT– Juan pressures Paula and threatens to use Zoe as bait. Juan gives another chance to Paula: either pay one million dollars in cash or facilitate an entry for a cocaine shipment at the airport using her connections.
INT. KATRINA’S HOUSE – DAY
Matias/Juan visits Zoe after knowing about the incident. Katrina’s enchanted by Juan.
INT. JUAN’S HOUSE – NIGTH
Juan puts pressure on Paula; her deadline is running out. He has other plans for Zoe to threaten Paula.
ACT 3:
INT. KATRINA’S HOUSE – DAY
RETHINK EVERYTHING – Katrina changes; she suddenly becomes a loving mother and persuades Zoe to forget about the plan to leave her. Zoe is touched. Matias (aka Juan) puts aside his project.
PLACEHOLDER: Katrina pretends to be okay with Paula and, to Zoe’s surprise, invites her for lunch/dinner on the weekend. Paula’s not convinced, however. Katrina is setting a trap with the police investigators. (To show Katrina’s fear to be alone).
INT. GEORGIA’S ART STUDIO – DAY
A NEW PLAN – Zoe’s convinced that staying with her mom is the best. Georgia tries to convince Zoe to keep ahead with her project. She warns Zoe about her mom; Katrina doesn’t miss a trick.
INT. KATRINA’S HOUSE – DAY
TURNING POINT: HUGE FAILURE/MAJOR SHIFT – Zoe and Katrina are kidnapped in their own house; Georgia is there, the guys knock Georgia down, left between life and death. In captivity, Zoe’s shocked, knowing that Matias is Juan.
TE: Zoe stands up to protect Georgia when she’s verbally abused/bullied for being trans.
ACT 4
INT. AIRPORT – DAY
Undercover, Paula releases the cocaine from the airport but traps Juan.
INT. ABANDONED HOUSE – DAY
CLIMAX/ULTIMATE EXPRESSION OF THE CONFLICT – Juan tells Zoe that he’ll kill Paula as soon as he receives the cargo he’s waiting for. Katrina argues with Zoe. Zoe almost kills Juan. The police seize the house. Paula vanishes.
TE: Juan hits Katrina and Zoe, bringing up memories of her violent childhood. Zoe rages to protect her mother.
For the first time, mother and daughter embrace.
INT. ZOE’S STUDIO – DAY
RESOLUTION: Katrina becomes the mother Zoe has always missed; Zoe forgives her mother. Katrina and Georgia help Zoe pack her stuff and go to her new apartment.
TE: Zoe receives one million dollars in cash with a note from Paula. She secretly enjoys what she reads.
4. Do Pass 2: Build in the Antagonist Journey.
– Katrina suspects her daughter is having an affair with a woman.
She hires a private detective to follow Zoe.– Even with proves in her hands, Zoe denies it.
– She goes against Zoe’s ideas about being independent; she mocks her.
– When discovering Paula is a drug dealer, Katrina kicks Zoe out of the house.
– Days later, regretted, she convinces Zoe to come back home
– Secretly, she helps the police find Paula through Zoe.
– When Zoe is caught driving high in drugs, Katrina pretends she’s okay with everything, including Zoe’s bisexuality
– Katrina argues with the police. How come she’s giving all information they need, and they still didn’t catch Paula.
– Katrina is kidnapped with Zoe. Regardless of the situation, they argue out of something; she’s always trying to dominate her daughter. Juan hits both badly.
– She gets scared but is surprised to see her daughter standing up for her.
– After being almost killed, she realises how much she loves Zoe. She convinces herself that it’s time to let her daughter go to have the freedom she always pursued.
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Don Thompson – Beat Sheet Draft I and II combined
What I learned from this assignment is: to work quickly and not be too concerned about quality at this point.
ACT I
FADE IN:
An image of the open sea. The camera SLOWY PANS UPWARD, and we see the HMS Avenger, circa 1790s.
PROLOGUE
EXT. ROYAL NAVY FRIGATE HMS AVENGER, NORTHERN FRANCE,
1797 – DAY
Captain Vere of the HMS Avenger looks through his telescope to the merchant ship ‘The Rights of Man’ and indicates his desire to obtain impressments (forced recruits) from her.
EXT. MAIN DECK – ‘THE RIGHTS OF MAN’ – SAME TIME
Captain James Smith of ‘The Rights of Man’ also looks through a telescope toward the HMS Avenger. He notes the ship is British and likely seeks recruits.
EXT. RIGHTS OF MAN – SAME TIME
Lt. Seymour of the Avenger takes a small boat to ‘The Rights of Man’, boards the ship, and states his purpose.
EXT. MAIN DECK – RIGHTS OF MAN – DAY
He finds two recruits: Billy Budd, a young man of 18 from Bristol, and Danskar, an African American from the Dutch West Indies. Billy is a striking young man – an ‘almost perfect physical specimen’ who is called ‘the peacemaker’ by Captain Smith because of his positive effect on the crew.
EXT. PINNANCE (SMALL BOAT) ON SIDE OF THE ‘RIGHTS OF MAN’ – DAY
Lt. Seymour takes Billy and Danskar back to HMS Avenger.
EXT. HMS AVENGER – SOME MINUTES LATER – DAY
Billy is greeted by the seventy-four or so men on the Avenger. He is asked to sign a document by Master-of-Arms Claggart that, because Billy is illiterate, he signs ‘X’.
Billy jokes with Claggart and the observing men automatically take a liking to Billy.
Danskar also signs the papers, but only after asking what he is signing. After Claggart explains, he signs his name as ‘Thomas Paine’ – the author of the book ‘The Rights of Man’.
Claggart asks his assistant SQUEAK to take the men to their hammocks on the lower deck.
INT. LOWER DECK – MOMENTS LATER
Squeak leads Danskar and Billy to their hammocks. Danskar’s hammock is in the rear, Billy’s near the middle.
INT. LOWER DECK – ANOTHER HAMMOCK – DAY
Squeak’s stick taps on the other hammock. It is Billy’s.
INT. CAPTAIN VERE’S QUARTERS – DAY
Claggart enters and tells the Captain about the new recruits.
BACK TO MID-SHIP.
Billy plays the Harmonica and all of the men listen. He sings them a song until Claggart breaks up the festivities, and takes Billy’s Harmonica from him.
INT. LOWER DECK – COMMON AREA – NIGHT
The men gather for their evening meal and Jenkins, in an attempt to assert his dominance, picks a fight with Billy. Billy stammers and Jenkins teases him. Billy wins the fight. Claggart looks them over, saying nothing.
Danskar give Billy a cross ‘for protection’.
EXT. MAIN DECK – SUNRISE – NEXT DAY
Ferriman receives a hundred lashes and is bloodied and unconscious afterwards.
Captain Vere gives a speech. (transformational event)
CAPTAIN VERE gives a moving speech, trying to get the men to find a patriotic outlook.
The men look on, unconvinced, as Vere completes his speech.
The man who was flogged is taken to the sick birth
INT. BELOW DECK – SAME TIME
The men filter into the lower deck. Back and forth conversation about the flogging and the illegitimacy of it all. Someone asks Billy if they were ever flogged on ‘The Rights of Man’. He says that they weren’t.
Danskar approaches him. He tells Billy to keep his hammock in order. They are likely to both be targeted to get on the ship’s report. If that happens, they could be next on the list for flogging.
Billy asks Jenkins: Why was the man flogged? It could be almost anything, Jenkin retorts.
Claggart enters. Billy attempts a friendly gesture – somehow touches Claggart. ‘Don’t touch me!’ he says firmly. Billy backs off.
Danskar warns him to watch out for Claggart. He has seen his type before.
EXT. MID-SHIP – MAST – DAY
Billy is on watch, looking out for ships. Jenkins is with him and shows signs of weakness: something is wrong with him and he winces in pain (probably from his fight with Billy).
Billy asks him about it and he waves it off. Squeak also notices – wonders if it is something Claggart should know about. He waves Squeak off as well.
INT. LOWER DECK – BILLY’S HAMMOCK – NIGHT
Billy checks his hammock – it is undone and not properly set. He turns to Danskar, telling him this is the second time he’s seen it this way.
Squeak approaches. Tells Billy to be careful – he had to include the mishap on the ship’s report. Billy and Danskar sense a trap – someone wants Billy on the report.
Squeak also warns Danskar and asks does he want to be next for a flogging. Danskar indicates it is God who will decide. Squeak laughs.
INT. LOWER DESK – TABLE – NIGHT
The men are gathered at the table. Banter back and forth about the politics of the time. American Liberty. French Revolution. Jenkins is ill and cannot eat.
Claggart enters. The men stand and line up. He bumps against Billy and forces him to drop his bowl. Claggart insists Jenkins clean it. Jenkins cannot lean down – he is ill. Claggart is apparently trying to demonstrate how ill Jenkins is.
Claggart challenges the men to attack him. He even turns his back on them. Claggart calls the men spineless and leaves.
Jenkins vows to kill Claggart. The rest warn against it.
INT. CAPTAIN VERE’S QUARTERS – NIGHT
Vere has called Claggart into his quarters. He asks if Billy Budd should be given a promotion. Claggart is against it, notes his infraction. Vere seems intent on promoting Billy to chief maintopman, as Jenkins appears unfit.
Claggart leaves. The Captain conferences with Lt. Ratcliffe. He asks him about Billy. Also asks him what he knows about Claggart. Ratcliff says the Claggart committed some crime and was given a choice: the Navy or jail. What crime? Murder perhaps. He notes that regardless, Claggart is a good master of arms. Ratcliff also notes that Claggart will likely oppose Billy Budd’s promotion.
EXT. MIDSHIP – MAINTOP – DAY
Jenkins is on the main top with Billy. He can barely make it up to the sails. One of the sailors wants to take him to sick berth, but Claggart refuses it, forces Jenkins back to the maintop.
EXT. CLOSE – MAINTOP – DAY
A Watchman spots a French ship. The men are called to action. As this occurs, Billy moves to help Jenkins at his post as he clearly is unable to handle his duties. While all this occurs, Jenkins falls to the lower deck and is killed immediately.
EXT. DECK – DAY
Claggart looms over the body, as do the others. But the presence of the French ship forces them to take arms and fire. Lt. Seymour sends the orders to fire at will. But the men don’t react. Mr. Kincaid tells Lt. Seymour that they’ve lost the French ship. Seymour has Kincaid arrested for insubordination.
EXT. DECK – NEAR CAPTAIN’S QUARTERS – DAY
The Captain comes on deck and heatedly wants to know the situation. Not all the men come to attention. The Captain is incensed. He reminds them of their duty. He is quite adamant: their only duty is to fight and obey.
The Captain inquires about Jenkins’s death. It was an accident is the consensus.
ACT II
EXT. DECK – LATER THAT DAY
Jenkins is put to rest at sea. The men watch solemnly as the body is shoved over the deck. The company is dismissed by Lt. Seymour. He turns to Billy: the Captain wishes to see him.
INT. CAPTAIN’S QUARTERS – SAME TIME
The Captain informs Billy that he will take on Jenkin’s responsibilities. Billy is happy with the promotion. My Seymour wonders if Claggart should be consulted further. The Captain will proceed without Claggart’s assistance. The Captain asks Billy about Jenkin’s death. Billy tells him he feels Claggart is responsible as he would not allow him to go to the sick berth.
Claggart then enters and protests the promotion. The Captain insists it is the right thing to do.
Claggart also inquires about Kincaid. He feels he must be flogged. The Captain Okays the flogging – but only 10 lashes instead of the normal 100 that Claggart recommends. Claggart notes that men must adhere to the rule of law. The Captain asks him about his past. Has he not at times been treated leniently for indiscretions? Claggart relents. The Captain notes Claggart’s hypocrisy.
EXT. MID-SHIP DECK – DAY
Kincaid is ordered by Claggart to receive 10 lashes. The Captain observes, then leaves. Mr. Seymour dismisses the crew.
INT. CAPTAIN’S QUARTERS – MOMENTS LATER
The Captain conferences with Seymour. What to do about Claggart? He is clearly stepping out of bounds with his behavior vis-à-vis Jenkins. The Captain insists that Claggart must be kept in his position as he is required to keep order on the ship.
The Captain asks Seymour and Ratcliff if they know about Claggart’s past – any details that might explain his behavior. Seymour believes he was involved in a killing of some sort but there was some confusion about it’ ‘Who was it?’ ‘A friend’ says Seymour. ‘A close friend’, he clarifies. ‘Claggart is not married’.
The Captain nods. ‘A killing of a close friend,’ he repeats.
ACT III
EXT. MID-SHIP – NIGHT
Billy is on watch. Claggart also walks the deck. They begin to talk.
Billy says he wishes to be his friend. Claggart looks him over. Claggart indicates there is no such thing in this world as a friend. Billy asks him if he ever had a friend. Claggart indicates he has only had one friend in his life, and he is dead. How? Asks Billy. Consumption (tuberculosis), says Claggart. Billy nods.
Claggart, in a moment of vulnerability, recounts the death. ‘He had to die, you see – he was suffering too much. I was glad he died. I couldn’t bear it. And I am glad that Jenkins died’.
Billy nods. Claggart is near tears. ‘I had to do it,’ he says.
Billy nods but does not quite comprehend. ‘Do what?”
‘You don’t know?’
‘No’.
Beat – Claggart lashes out at Billy. ‘Get away from me! Damn you to hell! You remind me of him – damn you to hell!’
Billy backs off, but asks him: “Do you really take pleasure in cruelty, sir?”
“Has not life been cruel to me? I simply do what life does to me to others. Look out to that ocean. What is underneath? I tell you, it is despair, death, coldness.”
“Funny,” Billy returns. “I see peace. And I see a lonely man”.
Claggart eyes him over. “Get away!” he says.
Billy backs off again.
Claggart continues to walk the deck. Squeak approaches him. He says he cannot do anything more to get Billy on the report. Danskar is watching too closely. Claggart insists he finds a way.
EXT. CANNON PORTAL – NIGHT
Billy has retreated to a portal and watches the sea. Squeak finds him and warns him that Claggart is out to get him. He says he can’t stand to betray the men anymore. Squeak fears mutiny on the ship, like the Nore and Spitfire. He admits to helping Claggart get Billy on the report. Squeak asks Billy if he will help in a plot to kill Claggart. Billy says he won’t.
INT. CLAGGART’S QUARTERS – LATER
Squeak enters. Apparently, he has still been spying on Billy and trying to get him to betray Claggart. But Billy would have nothing of it. Claggart is beside himself. Claggart threatens Squeak with the lash to get him to betray Billy and say that he is out to murder Claggart and run a mutiny.
INT. LOWER DECK – NIGHT
Billy confides in Danskar what happened with Claggart. Danskar says the will of God is working against Claggart and Billy at the same time. He must be careful. Billy returns to the upper deck.
EXT. UPPER DECK – SAME TIME
Seymour is on deck and asks Claggart if all is in order. He says yes.
Claggart continues his watch, Kincaid stalks him from behind. But Billy stops him, overcomes him and forces him to drop his blade.
Claggart confronts them. Then Seymour. There is a knife on the deck near Claggart. Whose knife is this? Claggart picks it up.
Seymour returns – hearing the commotion. Claggart holds out the knife.
Whose knife? Asks Seymour. Billy Budd’s replies Claggart. Seymour says ‘give it back to him’. A tense moment. Seymour indicates that Claggart said all is well – so all is well. Return to your positions.
Seymour leaves, after indicating he wants neither man to appear on the ship’s report. He orders both Kincaid and Billy to go below.
EXT. MID-SHIP DECK – NEXT DAY
Captain Vere commands Mr. Ratcliff to provide more sail. He shouts his orders to the men.
ACT IV
INT. CAPTAIN’S QUARTERS – MOMENTS LATER
Claggart enters and accuses Billy of trying to kill him and start a mutiny.
The Captain is hesitant to believe this. He calls Billy into his quarters.
Billy listens to the accusations as they come directly from Claggart. Billy cannot believe it and beings to stutter. Then, suddenly, unable to speak, he hits Claggart squarely in the temple. Claggart falls, dead.
The Captain calls the ship’s doctor. On examination, he finds Claggart is indeed killed.
Claggart orders Billy taken below into custody and convenes a makeshift court marshall with himself, Ratcliff, Seymour, and NNNN.
At the end of their intense debate, the Captain argues to hang Billy. The others want acquittal.
They summon Danskar to bear witness as to whether Claggart bore malice toward Billy. He affirms it.
The Captain decides that he will hang Billy.
EXT. MID-SHIP – DAY
All of the men are assembled. None are sure what is about. Then it is revealed that Billy killed Claggart and will be hanged.
The men are beside themselves and it is difficult to maintain order. Vere and his men are barely able to hold the crew back.
Billy is brought out and hanged.
The men are distraught.
But just then, a French Ship appears unexpectedly and fires at the Avenger.
EXT. GUNS – DAY
The men take to the guns and begin to fire. The French Ship has the advantage of surprise and several volleys pierce the Avenger. The Captain is killed.
The Avenger, manages to fend off the attack, but not without substantial damage. Seymour takes command and they head toward the nearest friendly port.
EPILOGUE
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WHAT I LEARNED: My theme has changed. It wasn’t what I originally thought. It’s better, I hope.
EXT. YACHT – DAY
PROLOGUE: A sail backlight by a rising sun fills with air. Voice Over of Carly explaining the one direction a sailboat can’t go — upwind. This causes the boat to stall and is called “In Irons.”
—— ACT 1 ——
EXT. SCHOOL – DAY
Opening: The bell rings but Carly’s busy composing her first selfie of the day. Classmates rush past her to make it to class on time. Approaching her class, she notices the principal and her teacher standing just outside. Their faces are grim. They tell her there’s been an accident. What follows is a montage of events ending at her Father’s funeral.
INT. HOME – DAY
Inciting Incident: Getting her husbands affairs in order. Working remotely at the same time. Line to employee over phone, “Don’t tell me I can’t” do something work related. Carly’s mother discovers the boat purchase, and that the new yacht is near completion.
They travel to Europe.
INT. PLANE – DAY
PLACEHOLDER: Mom continues work on the plane. Discussion about the boat. Carly hates the ocean. “I hate the beach.” >> puts in earbuds.
EXT. SHIPYARD – DAY
PLACEHOLDER: First time seeing/touring the boat. A family photo hangs inside, by request of Carly’s late father.
I/E. YACHT – DAY
EVENT: The yacht builder takes them on a demo cruise to show off the boat. Carly, tries to upload a selfie, but discovers she doesn’t have service.
EXT. MARINA – DAY
EVENT: A coworker of Carly’s mom (a member of the board) expresses interest in the boat, but needs it brought back to the states. Mom sees an opportunity to influence the vote for the next CEO. The board member already supports her, but maybe he’d be willing to push the rest.
INT. HOTEL – NIGHT
EVENT: Carly’s mom speaks to builder about delivering boat. This doesn’t work out. She suggests sailing it herself. The builder tells her that’s not a good idea. “Don’t tell me I can’t….”
She decides to sail it there herself and bring Carly along.
EXT. SHIPYARD – DAY
PLACEHOLDER: Carly protests!
I/E. YACHT – DAY
Turning Point: They stock the boat, and set sail from the harbor.
—— ACT 2 ——
INT. CARLY’S CABIN – DAY
New Plan: Carly commits to locking herself away the entire trip. Mom tries keeping her penthouse-like decorations from crashing to the deck as the boat rocks.
INT. CARLY’S CABIN – DAY
Plan In Action: The confines of a yacht cabin wear on Carly. She’s feeling sea-sick, and struggles against the constant rocking.
Mom struggles managing the boat on her own — trimming sails.
I/E. YACHT – DAY
EVENT: Carly comes out. Her mother’s things are all over the place; the salon is a wreck. Her mom — worn out — asks her to take the helm. At the helm, she finds herself completely lost and unsure of anything. Autopilot does the job, but she’s uncertain of anything she’s looking at.
I/E. YACHT – NIGHT
EVENT: Dinner is very humble — canned food with little talking. Carly discovers her mom’s book on sailing. She quietly takes it to her own cabin.
I/E. YACHT – DAY
PLACE HOLDER: The first time Carly can’t see land. She’s surrounded by water.
I/E. YACHT – DAY
Midpoint Turning Point: The wind has died down and they are adrift at sea. Not wanting to use their gas they find themselves stuck. Carly blows up. “YOU’RE NEVER AROUND! I DON’T NEED YOU”
EXT. YACHT – DAY
PLACEHOLDER: Mom alone outside. Asking for help from her late husband. She speaks to the boat. “What do you want?” The wind returns.
—— ACT 3 ——
INT. YACHT – EVENING
EVENT: Carly sits in the salon. On the horizon she sees a storm, and watches it. For the first time she tries to take a picture that doesn’t include herself.
INT. YACHT – DAY
Rethink Everything: Carly exploring the boat. Learning. She’s halfway through the book, skimming through different sections. She’s testing herself with a line to tie certain knots. She finds a sailing chart at the nav station and opens it. She peeks at the Atlantic — the trip they are on — and then unfolds the map further. There is SO much more out there. Her trip seems so small!
EXT. YACHT – DAY
EVENT: Putting what she has learned to use, she hoists a sail on her own. It grabs the wind and feels powerful. She photographs it. Mom watches from inside.
EXT. YACHT – DAY
New Plan: They try fishing, and make a catch! Carly takes the helm as her mother wrestles in a monster!
EXT. YACHT – DAY
PLACEHOLDER: Gutting a large fish! Laughter, but gross!
INT. YACHT – NIGHT
Turning Point: Huge Failure/Major Shift: Carly’s mom reveals the buyer; a board member in her company. He’s offered cash and she’s hoping this seals the vote for her to become the next CEO. Carly lies saying she hates the salt water — pretending she doesn’t care.
—— Act 4 ——
I/E. YACHT – DAY
EVENT: Land ho! They prepare the boat for the marina. Carly gets her first notification on her phone. She’s flooded with unanswered texts and social media notifications. It’s too much, and she turns her phone off.
I/E. YACHT – DAY
Climax/Ultimate Expression of the Conflict: Carly forgives and asks for forgiveness.
EXT. MARINA – DAY
Resolution: They reach the shore. Carly asks for a loan to buy the boat.
EXT. YACHT – DAY
Epilogue: Carly has been sailing for a while. She’s barefoot. Her skin is freckled and tan. Her hair is sun-bleached and decorated with beads from whatever island she has been to along the way. The next marina is ahead and she’s preparing lines and fenders; singlehanded. She calls out “Okay!” As if she’s ready.
Her mother is at the helm. Confident and beaming.
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Charles Ferrell’s Beat Sheet 2
What I learned from doing this assignment is to look for another type of subtext, theme.
ACT 1
INT.CLASSROOM – DAY
Duncan see the little asian girl while teaching, no one else can see her. He looks away and then back, he begins to repeat himself nervously. Disturbing!
EXT.UNIVERSITY PARKING LOT – DAY
Little girl in the back seat of his car causes near miss, other person sees no one in the seat.
INT.DUNCANS APT – EARLY EVENING
Girlfriend asks about him being disturbed/off, he starts to mention the little girl but stops himself.
INT.DUNCAN’S APT – NIGHT
Under the lake nightmare, turns into being inside the camp and meeting the girl in the dream
INT.COFFEE SHOP – MORNING
Duncan is having coffee with his girlfriend obviously rattled. Drinking more coffee than normal with extra sugar.
INT.DUNCAN’S APT /CLASS- MORNING
Sleep deprivation from nightmares is starting to affect his performance and make him question what is real or a dream.
INT.UNIVERSITY LIBRARY – DAY
Duncan amasses a large number of books for research and become irate with staff when he doesn’t find what he expects.
INT.TEACHERS LOUNGE – DAY
Duncan begins asking about a secret camp and has details that spark the wrong interest.
INT.UNIVERSITY HALL – DAY
Duncan is on his way to meet with the chancellor after being called in, he passes the Pol Sci professor in the hallway going the opposite way.
INT.CHANCELLORS OFFICE – DAY
Duncan is put on notice about his performance and conspiracy theories. His mental state questioned, suggests a therapist.
ACT 2
INT.DUNCAN APT – EARLY MORNING
Duncan hurriedly as he is walking out the door mentions to his girlfriend he can’t do coffee, he is going to see a staff therapist and nervously repeats himself.
INT.THERAPIST OFFICE – MORNING
Intro, then the therapist asks about the camp conspiracy theories. He talks about his visions and dreams of the little girl.She asks if he has ever been medicated before
INT.UNIVERSITY – DAY
Duncan questions the Pol Sci & Military History professor about the area and Internment camps in the state. The Prof looses it and this confuses Duncan.
INT.UNIVERSITY – DAY
A picture of the Old Sargent is mailed to him, showing building rubble in the background where the lake is now.
EXT.UNIVERSITY CAMPUS – DAY
Duncan frantically posts copies of pictures around campus.
INT.UNIVERSITY LIBRARY – DAY
Falls asleep researching the picture, has a nightmare about the camp and disturbs an Alumni tour with the chancellor.
INT.UNIVERSITY – DAY
Duncan please on student radio for people to come forward with info about the Sargent.
INT.CHANCELLORS OFFICE – NIGHT
Chancellor puts his position on suspension and threatens his phd candidacy, Required to see a therapist.
ACT 3
INT.DUNCAN APT – NIGHT
Duncan struggles to stay awake to avoid another nightmare, finally doses off and has the most detail gruesome dream of all. Paces the room after waking searching for a solution.
EXT.LAKE DOCKS – NIGHT
Sneaking between lake front houses, looking for a boat and has some close calls at getting caught.
EXT.LAKE – NIGHT
He decides to search the lake for himself, borrowing a boat each night. More sleep deprivation
EXT.LAKE – LATER THAT NIGHT
He is arrested for theft of the boat and his car impounded. He spots the pol science professor watching.
EXT.DIRT ROAD – BEFORE DAWN
Taken by the police down a road and beat up before being taken to the jail.
INT.JAIL – MIDDAY
All charges are dropped by the boat owner and he is released.
EXT.UNIVERSITY – DAY
Gets out of jail, he has been fired, lost his campus housing apt, kicked out of phd program….all is lost
INT.COFFEE SHOP – AFTERNOON
He has a new insight, the Pol Science professor is the Old Sargent. Maybe tattoo, burn scars on the neck.
ACT 4
EXT.CONSTRUCTION SITE – NIGHT
Duncan breaks into the site, steals keys and begins to figure out how to operate a backhoe
EXT.LAKE LEVEE – DUSK
Starts to dig into the levee holding the lake.
INT.NEWS STUDIO – MORNING
The freeway has been flooded by a break in the levee, helicopters are on the way to the scene.
EXT.LAKE/HIGHWAY – MORNING
Exhausted Duncan is arrested for a second time watching the lake drain in a stupor.
EXT.LAKE – MORNING
Helicopters spot the foundations of a complex of buildings in the mud. Was he right?
INT.POL SCI PROF OFFICE – DAY
The professor is found dead from suicide. Signed letter detailing the facts of the events along with a box of pictures and evidence.
INT.CHANCELLORS OFFICE – DAY
Duncan reinstated job & phd program. All charges are dropped
INT.THERAPIST OFFICE – DAY
Under hypnosis, Duncan learns that he was the little asian girl in a past life. This was his plan for this life.
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Patrick Downey – Beat Sheet Draft 2
What I learned doing this assignment is that my screenplay doesn’t follow the typical forms. My theme doesn’t get introduced right away, as a matter of fact it kind of grows. There’s no immediate conflict between the Protagonist and Antagonist but it builds into slow boiling mess. Then it’s a crafty game on mystery and matching wits with the circumstances not so much the person. The Antagonists is seen and made known the Protagonists is hidden for a very good reason. It’s difficult to have a true battle when you don’t know who you’re fighting and too self-absorbed to see it coming.
Act 1
INT. FOOD TRUCK PARKED ON THE STREET IN DOWNTOWN CHICAGO – DAY
Team setting up the surveillance of the FBI on the HAVOC organization in downtown Chicago. Introduction of all the main players and their roles and the FBI’s case for bringing them down.
INT. H.A.V.O.C. OFFICES – DAY
Cayman comes to work with his grandfather for the first time and the team gets to know him and finds out that he’s deaf. All welcome him except a young hot shot named Dardanos, who can’t be bothered with a deaf mute.
EXT. FOOD TRUCK – DAY
Surveillance team notices that after a couple of summers visiting and working with his grandfather, Cayman comes to live in Chicago permanently after his mother is tragically killed in a traffic accident.
Act 2
INT. PRIVATE SCHOOL – DAY
Cayman sitting in his classroom at a Catholic School for the deaf looking out the window. Cayman’s whole world is turned upside down as he withdraws into his very new and different circumstances. Every day is like Groundhog Day for him, school, office, and home with his grandpa.
INT. STINGNELLI HOUSE – NIGHT
PLACEHOLDER: (The entire Stingnelli family is at the house for a birthday party, all 36 of them)
INT. H.A.V.O.C. OFFICES – DAY
One day Cayman decides to stop feeling sorry for himself and makes up his mind to be the best he can be for his mother and grandfather. So, he starts really applying himself after school in the office. He is rewarded by receiving more responsibility and a new desk right across from the vault.
INT. VAULT – DAY
One late afternoon Cayman is sitting at his desk with headphones on and looking into the vault as the men are meeting. He starts to read their lips and realizes they are not a charitable children’s organization at all but a bunch of crooks fixing sporting events to capitalize on the betting odds to line their pockets with millions if not billions.
EXT. FOOTBALL STADIUM PLAYERS PARKING LOT – DAY
(Crutch leaning against his car waiting on the team’s standout All-Pro receiver)
(Show plane landing in a different city that evening)
INT. RESTAURANT – NIGHT
(We see Crutch again meeting with a team executive over dinner and handing him a briefcase)
Act 3
INT. CAYMAN’S ROOM – NIGHT
Laptop open and books spread out all over his bed.
Cayman’s eyes are wide open to their operation, and he starts digging into past bets, performances, curses, unbelievable wins and anything else sports related that could so a pattern of this organization’s a
PLACEHOLDER: CAYMAN RUNNING THROUGH THE GAMES HE HAD ATTENDED WITH HIS GRANDFATHER AND THINKING HIS GRANDFATHER KNEW EVERYBODY ON THE TEAMS AND STAFF. THEN THINKING IF THIS WAS ONE OF THE GAMES, THEY HAD RUINED FOR HIM FOREVER.
EXT. CAR TRAVELING ALONG LAKE SHORE DRIVE – DAY
Furious at his grandfather for his criminal activity and even more so for pretending to do good for other people. With his newfound knowledge, he had to decide what to do and how to go about handling it. Does he question his grandfather directly, does he go to the police or just do nothing?
PLACEHOLDER: (MEETING WITH DARDANOS, GRAHAM, PATRICK AND KRISTOS OUT OF THE OFFICE SOMEWHERE)
INT. H.A.V.O.C. OFFICES – DAY
Cayman catches wind of a plan by Dardanos to kill his grandfather and takeover the organization. He hopes to warn his grandfather even though he’s pissed at him but doesn’t want any harm to come to him. However, he’s too late and his grandfather is killed.
Act 4
INT. H.A.V.O.C. OFFICES – NIGHT
Gathered is Cayman, Audie, Crutch, and several of Cayman’s friends to discuss their plan of action over the remaining 4 partners who had Ray killed. Cayman starts out the meeting by displaying a revolutionary cool device he has recently patented. Cayman focuses all his energy and resources on bringing them all down with an elaborate plan.
PLACEHOLDER: (ESPN HIGHLIGHTS OF SEVERAL PLAYOFF SCENARIOS)
Resolution: Every player hits their mark, the greedy get greedier and Cayman enjoys his win!
Pass 2:
Antagonist: Dardanos Alexandrite – 38 yrs old and oldest son of Kristos Alexandrite owner of world-renowned luxury hotels in several countries. Also, owns several professional sports teams in the USA. He is being groomed to one day takeover his father’s position.
1. Dardanos is a narcissist in every way and only cares about himself.
2. He doesn’t have many friends only the ones he buys things for, and he hates kids.
3. Dardanos has never said more than two words to Cayman. He thinks he’s beneath him.
4. He is in constant disagreement with Ray and thinks his ways are outdated.
5. Meets with other partners secretly to discuss major decisions without Ray and Audie.
6. Puts a hit out on Ray to have him killed
7. Steps right into the leadership role at H.A.V.O.C.
8. Tries to double their winnings in his first couple of months and has a side bet going on behind the other partners back which rattles the people in Vegas.
9. Thinks he is so smart that he doesn’t realize that Cayman is in his blind side, working with the FBI to foil his plans.
10. Ends up being greedy and arrogant which causes his demise.
Dardanos did have an exit plan just in case something went wrong but just because you can’t hear doesn’t mean you can’t see. Checkmate to Cayman!
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Janeen’s Beat Sheet Draft 2
What I learned doing this assignment is that adding theme does, indeed, unify the purpose of many of the observations, motivations, actions, and results in the script.
BEAT SHEET
ACT 1
INT. NICK’S APT – MORNING
Nick relives the failed military mission in the war zone, Grizzly helps him morph it to a love scene and then wakes him. Nick thanks/trusts Grizzly
INT. MALL – DAY
A rogue FBI agent accompanies the President’s parents and their Secret Service agent (Ivy) to the mall. Last 6 guys she dated wanted access (intro scene??)
INT. MALL – CONTINUOUS
Nick recognizes Ivy as the woman from his dream. Grizzly confirms it?? By liking her.
INT. MALL – CONTINUOUS
Nick sees the mercenary draw a gun, Ivy get shot, parents get abducted. He goes into rescue mode and kicks butt. Then he grabs the FBI agent’s radio and tries to sort it out. Nick trusts his capabilities and himself in this scenario.
INT. MALL – CONTINUOUS
Nick sends the parents to a mall entrance, gets his go-bag, (maybe fights more bad guys), and escapes with the parents in his car. They discuss reasons to trust/distrust him.
ACT 2
EXT. NICK’S CAR – DAY
Nick realizes they are being followed, does a daring car chase which wrecks the bad guys’ cars and decides he needs a new plan. He trusts his driving skills. Parents do too after first wreck.
INT. MALL – DAY
The rogue FBI agent (Dasher) rises from the rubble, bruised and beaten, and calls the FBI to get help finding the parents by tracking Santa (Nick) who he says kidnapped the parents. FBI trust Dasher.
INT. FBI HQ – DAY
The FBI launches an all-out search – APBs, BOLOs, whatever – to find Nick so they can find the kidnapped parents. They trust Dasher.
INT. MALL – AFTERNOON
Ivy, rising from the rubble, tells the mall cop her vest took the bullet and she hit her head on a kiosk. Asks what happened. Finds Nick has the parents.
INT. DOG SITTING APT – DAY
Nick gets the parents clothes from a client’s closet and makes them change everything since he hears about trackers in their gear on the FBI radio. Owners trusted Nick with keys/pets.
EXT. CAR LOT – DAY
Nick leaves his old car near his apartment and uses cash to buy an old clunker (with no electronics) at a used car lot since his car and plates have been id’d (again, via the FBI radio). Nick negotiates on the car.
EXT. DOG SITTING APT – AFTERNOON
Nick hustles the parents into the car, tells them he’s taking them to his great aunt’s lake cottage — no phones, trackers, GPS, etc. They should be safe. They trust Nick.
INT. TERRORIST’S HQ – AFTERNOON INT. DASHER’S CAR – AFTERNOON
On the phone, Dasher lies and says he has the parents. Intercut with Terrorist’s HQ, he tells his carload of mercenaries that they’ll have them soon since they know where they are holed up – Nick’s apartment.
INT. IVY’S CAR – AFTERNOON
Ivy calls Joy at the SS office, has her track down Nick. She watches him buy the new car, but loses him in traffic. She doesn’t know if she can trust Nick.
INT. TERRORIST’S HQ – AFTERNOON INT. WHITE HOUSE – AFTERNOON
Intercut a phone call as needed. Interrupting international negotiations, the terrorists call the president, make their demands. President demands proof of life.
INT. WHITE HOUSE – CONTINUOUS
An aide who wants the negotiations to continue, tells the president that his parents are safe the the terrorists have his parents’ doubles. The FBI are all over it.
INT. DASHER’S CAR – EVENING
Dasher, tracking the FBI radio that Nick has, follow him cross country, knowing the president’s parents must be alive and well.
INT. NICK’S 2ND CAR – NIGHT
The parents need a bio break and food so they stop at a gas station to fuel up and use the bathroom in the convenience store. Nick is careful and trusts no one.
EXT. GAS STATION – NIGHT
Dasher’s car pulls into the lot. He and the mercenaries enter the convenience store.
Ivy has been tracking the parents using her own methods — finding/following Nick, unsure if he’s a good or a bad guy. She sees Dasher and his goons enter the C-store and deflates the goon’s tires and has their car electronically disabled. She puts a tracker on Nick’s car.
INT. CONVENIENCE STORE – NIGHT
Nick battles the agents at a rest stop. Again, Nick defeats those who followed them and escapes.
EXT. CONVENIENCE STORE – NIGHT
Nick finds Ivy’s tracker on his car and escapes. Ivy follows him onto the highway.ACT 3
INT. NICK’S 2ND CAR – LATER
Nick pulls into an abandoned farmstead for a bio break. Ivy and the parents share info about the FBI radio’s tracker and Nick’s cottage plan, Ivy will see them at the cottage. The parents tell Nick about the radio tracker.
EXT. SMALL TOWN HOUSE – NIGHT
Nick sees an older car for sale, stops, buys it with cash, makes them change clothes again, this time in ridiculous Christmas outfits. Grizzly pees on the FBI radio, so Nick throws it into an open moving vehicle because he trusts her opinion – and it stinks.
INT. TERRORIST’S HQ – MORNING
Leader says the FBI agent was an idiot, heard how he screwed up at gas station. Orders hit men to clean up everyone at the house — they know where it is.
EXT. LAKE HOUSE – MORNING
At the lake house Grizzly is excited (happy) to see Ivy and Nick sees her when she’s trying to get Grizzly to leave her. They fight, holiday style, with the parents trying to stop Nick. Ivy realizes she still has her phone. Big time screwup.
ACT 4
INT. LAKE HOUSE – DAY INT. WHITE HOUSE – DAY
Nick tells her to call the President and fill him in. President tells them to hole up until he can get it all sorted. He trusts Ivy.
EXT. LAKE – DAY
Nick is in a kayak with Ivy’s phone. He takes it to the middle of a lake, sets it afloat in a milk jug and goes back to the lake house.
INT. LAKE HOUSE – DAY
Ivy says Rudy needs his HBP med. He says they need to move and grabs a couple of keys from his aunt’s key rack, telling the parents to fill in the rack with other keys.
INT. LAKE HOUSE 2 – DAY
Nick and Ivy look for meds in the houses on either side of the parents, and don’t get caught. Ivy raids the medicine chest for meds and leaves. (Fun distraction at door).
INT. LAKE HOUSE 3 – DAY
Nick raids the refrigerator and pantry, putting things in a grocery sack and takes keys from the key rack. Everyone trusts their neighbors here and he seems to know them all. He leaves.
INT. LAKE HOUSE – DAY
They return, Nick tells them to grab anything they think will be useful. They are going to another house.
EXT. DINGHY – DAY
Bundled up and dressed as Santa and his elves, the parents and Ivy get in a dinghy. They hear car doors and Nick runs down the iced over canal, pulling the dinghy. Later, we see Ivy pulling the dinghy and finally both of them. They stop at a boat ramp, help the parents out. A snowmobiling group shows up, they ask for a lift and ride to Lake House 4 (or thereabouts).
INT. LAKE HOUSE 4 – LATER
Ivy is cleaning up the kitchen after a meal. Nick is sleeping like a baby, Grizzly cuddled between his shoulder and ear. Holly and Rudy doze in chairs. Holly catches some sleep too.
INT. LAKE HOUSE 4 – EVENING
Holly turns the TV on. The TV says the search is going house to house. The TV shows the assassins intermingled with FBI agents. They have to hurry. They set about creating McGyver- isms with whatever holiday stuff they can find.
EXT. LAKE HOUSE 4 – NIGHT
The assassins show up. The ultimate Christmas weapon fight rages with Ivy and Nick doing the heavy hitting, leaving one after another of the assassins tied up.
INT. LAKE HOUSE 4 – NIGHT
The fight moves inside. Grizzly tries to help and it looks like she’s been killed. Nick flies into a rage, undeterred by anything the assassins throw at him. They are successful.
INT. LAKE HOUSE 4 – LATER
While cleaning up, Nick hears Grizzly scratching at the door. She’s alive! Nick jingles another set of keys. There is another house yet.
INT. LAKE HOUSE 5 – MORNING
Ivy has breakfast cooking, the WH calls to tell them all is well. They should meet a private jet at the airport – with clothes.
INT. PRIVATE JET – DAY
Holly and Rudy are in regular clothes, but Nick is dressed as Santa again. The president wants Nick to join his parents’ security detail. Ivy and Nick kiss, the parents wink.
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Subject line: Daisy Ridgway Khalifa’s Beat Sheet Draft #2 (Lesson 8)
What I learned doing this assignment: I must forge ahead, and stop the self-loathing. I must not be concerned that a fair amount of the story is starting to confuse me and feels “out of order”. It will come together. Breath.
Commitment to my fellow classmates: I will intentionally use the High Speed Writing Rules throughout the rest of this program.
Act 1
EXT. LOS ANGELES – DAWN
Opening: The Northridge Earthquake of 1994 strikes Los Angeles.
INT. LOS ANGELES – HOUSE OVER THE OCEAN (PINECLIFF) – DAWN – CONTINUOUS
Key Scene 1: We see a family flee an oceanfront house, known as PINECLIFF, that is rupturing from the ground up as they escape. TE: Major earthquake in 1994 causes protagonist’s childhood home, Pinecliff, to get severely damaged.
INT. PINECLIFF – DAY – ABOUT 20 YEARS EARLIER – 1973
At the same house 20 years earlier, we meet MIA PAULEY, 8, who is saying a sad farewell to a friend/her caretaker, TINA, while her parents, BRUCE PAULEY and KATRINA PAULEY look on sadly.
EXT. PINECLIFF – GARDEN – SAME
TE/Key Scene 2/Inciting Incident: Little Mia Pauley meets CHARLES LAUGHTON, who also lived in the house but 25 years earlier, in 1947, in the garden of the house. They are from different points in time. It is NOT the first time they have met*.
THEME: This film is about loving oneself and overcoming trauma, be it divorce or ugliness or closeted secrets. It is about facing reality, accepting matters as they are, and not changing it or erasing it.
EXT. SIDEWALK – 1973
Little Mia leaves Charles and goes next door by climbing over the wall in the yard. She interacts with neighbors. Meet CARLOS TOBALINA and his daughter, LINDA.
EXT. PINECLIFF – GARDEN – CONTINUOUS
Charles puzzles over the child, can’t tell where she disappeared to, and at the same time hears his name called out. He returns to the house.
EXT./INT. PINECLIFF – DAY – 1947 (CHARLES’ WORLD)
Follow Charles back into his world. He walks onto the same terrace but it is the late 1940s and is decorated beautifully, according to Charles- arts, sculpture, books. He is greeted by his wife, ELSA LANCHESTER and his manager, PAUL GREGORY.
INT. PINECLIFF – SAME
PLACEHOLDER/Antagonist Journey: Charles is happy at Pinecliff. He “hates himself a fraction less” at the house in West L.A. He sees the little girl as a muse telling him to stay put despite insurance problems.
EXT./INT. PINECLIFF – DAY – SAME
Charles is greeting students, SHELLY WINTERS, ROBERT RYAN, among others, as they arrive for acting class he teaches at Pinecliff.
INT. PINECLIFF – DAY – CONTINUOUS
PLACEHOLDER: Charles and Elsa have a run-in over parked cars and one of his students, as Elsa is trying to leave for the Turnabout Theater for her work. Charles takes a lot out on Elsa.
EXT. PINECLIFF – SAME
PLACEHOLDER/Antagonist Journey: Charles is self-absorbed and sabotages Elsa a lot of the time.
INT. MIA PAULEY’S APARTMENT – WASHINGTON, DC – MORNING – 1997
TE/Key Scene 3/Protagonist reacts: Mia, 33, who lives as an adult in Washington DC, is woken up by a ringing phone, and told by her sister, CARRIE PAULEY, of the damage to her house.
INT. MIA’S WORKPLACE – WASHINGTON, DC – MORNING
Meet Mia’s colleagues, her work life and Ian Gardner, 34, a close friend and work colleague on whom she relies to help her navigate this odyssey, as he is just quirky enough to believe her—and he loves her.
INT. GEORGETOWN BAR – NIGHT
PLACEHOLDER: Mia tells Ian the stories about the encounters (plural!). We glimpse her shame about her family. There are a few flashbacks, i.e. the two Christmas Parties; the garage sale; and when they both realized they had to move from Pinecliff.
EXT. PINECLIFF GARDEN – NIGHT – FLASHBACK
PLACEHOLDER/Antagonist Journey: Mia and Charles have their first meeting at night while her family is hosting a Christmas Ball. She thinks he is one of the guests, but also knows, sort-of, that he is Charles Laughton.
EXT. PINECLIFF TERRACE – NIGHT – 1947* – CHARLES WORLD
PLACEHOLDER/Antagonist Journey: Charles goes back into their own party they are having a Christmas for Royal Airforcement (RAF). They take a lot of heat about being ex-pats so they want to show England that they care.
THEME: Mia feels a lot of shame about her family, herself and some of the decisions she has made with her life. She needs to accept her actions, move on with confidence, and overcome her shame.
THEME: This film is about being our best, doing our best—acting well and being proud of who you are. [Sub-theme: The film explores acting, the challenge, what it is; the actor’s plight Sub-theme/question that lingers: The film explores nature and earthquakes, and the question of when “the big one” will hit Los Angeles. It conveys the understanding that ultimately, nature trumps all-even fate and chaos.]
INT. LIBRARY OF CONGRESS -DAY
PLACEHOLDER: Ian, a very good researcher by trade, teaches Mia how to navigate the Library of Congress. They research Charles and Elsa and find all sorts of papers, and Mia finds some curious clues. Ian, of course, pulls all of the Elvis documents he can find and veers off into numerous directions b/c he loves this stuff.
EXT. LOS ANGELES – 1948 – CHARLES WORLD
PLACEHOLDER/Antagonist Journey: Charles tells Paul Gregory about the “little girl muse” and that he is not going to move, which concerns Paul.
INT. MIA’S APARTMENT – NIGHT
PLACEHOLDER: Mia and Ian are getting to work on researching Charles, while also smoking weed, talking, laughing and probably falling in love. They learn that Charles hosted an Ed Sullivan show when Elvis was guest, and Ian asks Mia to ask Charles for an autograph.
EXT. WASHINGTON, D.C. – DAY
PLACEHOLDER: Mia’s “lover”, JOHNNY GATTO, a married man, asks her to accompany him to California. She accepts in order to visit Pinecliff. Is she prostituting herself for a trip to L.A?
INT. MIA’S WORKPLACE – DAY
Mia gets news that Ian’s father, MICHAEL GARDNER, was killed in a car crash. Ian has gone home.
PLACEHOLDER
EXT. PINECLIFF GARDEN – DAY
TE/Key Scene 4/Turning Point-Lock in the Journey: When Mia visits the abandoned house, she encounters Charles again as an adult. She is scared and flees, but knows there is a reason for these cosmic encounters and that she must talk with him.
Act 2
EXT. PINECLIFF – DAY
Key Scene 1/Reaction to turning Point/New Plan: Mia prepares for seeing Charles again-fix this scene.
EXT. PINECLIFF GARDEN – DAY
PLACEHOLDER/Antagonist Journey: When Charles meets the adult Mia, and she drives she is Mia, he is convinced that it is a message: to not move from Pinecliff, and to upend other things like getting rid of Paul Gregory.
INT. PINECLIFF – DAY – 1947
PLACEHOLDER: Meanwhile, Charles and Elsa are being told, again, by a geologist, MERLE PRICE, that they must move because of the threat of earthquakes, as well as mudslides, like the one they just went through. No insurance company will insure their valuable paintings, art collection, antiques, nothing.
EXT/INT. LOS ANGELES LOCATIONS – DAY – 1997
PLACEHOLDER (s): Mia sees old friends in LA; she goes to library to research Charles; she does some investigating; she talks to her mother; she encounters an older Carlos Tobalina, the former neighbor.
EXT. PINECLIFF GARDEN – DAY
Key Scene/Plan in Action, Executed: Charles and Mia meet again days later and their encounter changes fate. Mia tells him things. She convinces Charles she is from the future. She asks for Elvis autograph, “because you are going to guest-host a show for Ed Sullivan”. Charles has been so happy at Pinecliff, teaching, enjoying nature, embarking on a reading tour, that he longs to stay. He gets the skinny on earthquake history.
INT. MIA’S LOS ANGELES HOTEL – NIGHT
Key Scene/Not only does it fail, but/PLACEHOLDER: Mia and Ian talk by phone. Ian is not as interested in their project, given she is with Gatto. Mia promises to get the Elvis autograph
EXT. PINECLIFF – NIGHT – 1947
TE/Key Scene/Midpoint /Turning Point: Charles is convinced and he decides not to move from Pinecliff, based on Mia’s information about earthquakes.
PLACEHOLDER/Antagonist Journey: Charles changes Mia’s and his life by deciding once and for all to stay at Pinecliff. Elsa leaves Charles.
INT. MIA’S HOUSE – WASHINGTON, D.C. – MORNING – 1997
TE/MIDPOINT: Mia is woken up by a ringing phone and a call from her sister, Carrie, but when she wakes up, she is in a whole different reality. She learns she is even in a little house that she owns. Carrie, sober, is a successful industry agent. Mia is in DC, but she has to cobble together how she got there, and why, and learn what she does for a living. Mia is seeing a whole new existence for herself but is aware of her previous life; she must manage it with composure. What did Charles and she do?
Act 3
EXT. WASHINGTON, D.C. – DAY – 1997
Key Scene 1/Rethink Everything: Mia sorts our her new reality, and while she actually likes her own new outcome and her family seems to be in a better place, she has different job, and different people and friends in her life. Funny sequence as she figures out where she works, and how much money she has in the bank. She finds hew own business card: “President, MDP Consulting and Fundraising”.
INT. MIA’S WORKPLACE – DAY
PLACEHOLDER: Mia is living in a new reality, but something is amiss, and it only gets worse. There is no Ian, and she is in a different workplace. Mia discovers she is an influential fundraiser in Washington, with her own company. She can do what she wants.
INT. MIA’S HOUSE – NIGHT
PLACEHOLDER: Mia talks with family. They are all well, kooky, but well. Dad is woo-woo. Mother is a cat lady who cooks very well and sells her sauces. Amusing.
INT. LOS ANGELES – DAY
PLACEHOLDER/Antagonist Journey: Charles’ new life: he pursues Shakespeare and fails. Lawerence Olivier weighs in.
EXT. GEORGETOWN BAR – WASHINGTON, D.C
PLACEHOLDER: Mia returns to some the haunts she knows. They are different. It is as if she was never born, but she is known and has friends—just to different people in different places. Among other new/altered cultural phenomena, she sees that John Lennon is performing with Mark Knopfler. And that Teddy Pendergrass is the biggest star ever. She has to find Charles, but has no idea how, until she goes back to Pinecliff.
PLACEHOLDER/Key Scene 2/New Plan: Mia is deciding what to do. Leave it all alone and go one living this incredibly functional, successful life, or return to the old life? She decides to go to Library again, where she and Ian did research.
THEME: Mia is on the verge of making a poor decision, or is she? Marin is facing a dilemma, and it reflects on her very deeply. She ponders a big questions about making the “right” decision.
INT. LIBRARY OF CONGRESS – DAY
Key Scene 3/Things go Well Until: In doing some research she also comes to discover horrifying things. Mia never lived in the oceanfront house in the new reality; how will she correct things and ever find Charles? And, worst of all, Charles died alone. Elsa moved out of Pinecliff, while Charles stayed—and taught. He never went on reading tour (which earned him a lot of money). Paul Gregory moved on to other clients. Charles never directed Night of the Hunter, and he was never in Advise and Consent. *(maybe show this in scenes as she is researching).
INT. MIA’S WORKPLACE – DAY
Mia “asks permission” to go to California. Her employees think she is acting weird but they are focused on work. They say she will miss a big pitch. Mia asks: “Well, how much am I needed?” Amusing, but she leaves.
EXT. LOS ANGELES – DAY
Placeholder(s): Mia returns to LA. Sees//or at least looks for the same old friends, neighbors. So much is different.
EXT. PINECLIFF GARDEN – DAY
TE/Key Scene 4/Turning Point/Lowest Low: Mia gets to Pinecliff, which is still abandoned but it looks different. When Mia finally figures out how to reach Charles*, they spar over what to do. Charles won’t move and Mia appears to be shut off from Charles. (Figure this out) but Mia kind-of likes her new life too?
THEME: Mia longs to do the right thing. And that “thing” is to adhere to the original narrative of her life and, especially, Charles’. Given what he has gone through and how much he has suffered for his craft, Mia knows that he needs to have his original, profound legacy play out.
EXT. PINECLIFF GARDEN – DAY – SAME
PLACEHOLDER/Antagonist Journey: Mia thinks Charles should move and tell shim so. Charles is adamant: he is not moving.
EXT. LOS ANGELES RESTAURANT – 1948 – DAY
PLACEHOLDER/Antagonist Journey: Charles fires Paul Gregory over lunch, where they were supposed to meet about a new script Paul found, Night of the Hunter. Charles never sees it.
INT. LOS ANGELES CONVALESCENT HOSPITAL – 1961 – DAY
PLACEHOLDER/Antagonist Journey: Charles is dying, alone, miserable, less accomplished, and believes he has failed to accomplish what he wanted.
Act 4
EXT. LOS ANGELES – DAY
PLACEHOLDER/Key Scene 1/Reaction to Turning Point: Mia has to decide what to do and force Charles’ hand. Scene: TK-something with Ian, his father, altering the other things Charles wants to alter.
EXT. PINECLIFF – DAY
Climax/Ultimate Expression of the Conflict: Mia figures out how to get to Charles and walks him through his life that won’t be, and what she saw versus the great legacy he is supposed to leave; and, when he asks, she tells him about how he died. Mia is having a bittersweet time with returning back to her original, darker family situation.
THEME: By doing the right thing for Charles, by rearing to her old family situation, Mia is stronger. By stronger, she can see, feel and sense love. She will find Ian and they will love each other. Her heart has opened and she is fearless.
EXT/INT. LOS ANGELES – DAY – 1947
PLACEHOLDER/Climax: Charles decides what to do.
INT. MIA’S APARTMENT – MORNING
PLACEHOLDER: Mia is woken up by a ringing phone, her sister, Carrie. Carrie sounds loopy again, a relief to Mia, but still some things are different.
EXT/INT. LOS ANGELES – 1947
PLACEHOLDER/Resolution: Charles has moved from the house but, with Mia’s input, has made a few alterations to the universe…
INT. CURSON STREET HOUSE – BEVERLY HILLS – 1961
PLACEHOLDER/Antagonist Journey: Charles. tampers with a few things that change history, one of which involves saving Marilyn Monroe by asking young Albert Finney to court Monroe in or around summer 1962.
EXT./INT. LOS ANGELES – 1960s to 1990s
PLACEHOLDER/Resolution/Denouement/New Status Quo: Montage/Graphic of newspaper items on Marilyn Monroe, Albert Finney, Laughton’s Night of the Hunter becoming one of the most revered films etc..
INT. NATIONAL MUSUEM OF NATURAL HISTORY – WASHINGTON, D.C. – 1997
PLACEHOLDER/Resolution/Denouement: …among them Mia has to sacrifice ever knowing Ian. Still, he seeks Ian out; he is a museum director, same wonderful guy, but a single father, a more mature man. She gives him autograph;
EXT. NATIONAL MALL – WASHINGTON, DC – 1997
PLACEHOLDER/New Status Quo: Ian chases after Mia as she leaves the museum. Birdseye view: He catches up to her, and they walk off across the National Mall together.
FADE TO BLACK
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Vic Valleau Assignment #8 ADD THEME AND ANTAGONIST JOURNEY
What I learned: My story’s theme is basically the erosion and necessity of trust needed for romantic love. I have over a hundred ideas/scenes/ etc on that subject. I hope to organize beats better in #9.
Protag: CONCEPT: Doesn’t trust men.
Antag: Doesn’t trust women.
ACT 1 SETS UP AND SEES OLD WAYS.
1. Uses sex to dominate men, flashes her breasts, open necklines in business dinner with several ogling men. Talking nonsense, just to keep eyes and attention on her.
2. Meets JT, too attracted to him. He’s on a date, she pulls him into ladies room, whispers a sexually propositions him.
3. Dialogue Pro: This is your lucky day! He: Every day is my lucky day! She: I’ve heard, you have party clothes? He don’t worry, I’m circumsized. She hears he’s sterilized.
4. FLASH FORWARD SCENE WITH GF. Scene with gf arguing with her: How can you trust him? you can’t even trust yourself to wait for right man. You seduce any good looking man you see.
5. Your loneliness and lack of trust works against you. You’d be become the town bicycle. every guy gets a ride. Is that the reputation you want?
6. So how to trust a man? Read his mind. If his lips are moving, he’s lying.
7. Back to scene:
8. They have hurried sex, in ladies stall, women look under door, sees his business shoes. Nancy is sitting, straddling his lap to hide her feet from onlookers.
HIM
JT CHARACTER: Driven by lonelyness into Marriage minded. His wanting her is trap he willingly falls into.
1. Act 1
2. INT. RESTAURANT – NIGHT
3. Later discover the Bet of who has sex with Nancy that night. He tells his buddy Elton but they argue about who can get to her first.
4. Elton says play the syumpathy care dude- your limp and cane women eat it up.
5. Not my fault that drunk bitch destroyed by spine.
6. And of course, no nerves to your dick so now you gobble little blue pills then want to bet me you can do it on command with your handicap? Its not healthy, dude!
7. Thousand bucks say I do!
8. Naaaa, you take that custom diamond encrusted Rolex v. I get your beat up Tesla!
9. Elton says Diamond Rolex would look good on my wrist so you’re on!
10. Meanwhile JT is on setup blind easy date, her hand on his leg so he does the same.
11. Easy date is irritating and testing him constantly, Why do you drive an old school Mercedes instead of Gull Wing BMW, more fitting for you. Why did you breakup with X, etc type questions, instead of tell me about your goals, your future plans, not money questions.
12. His lawyers self importance is off putting, so she drifts away, misses point of his stories
13. He’s loses interest in talking, impressing her, he’ not attentive.
14. JT TABLE – CONTINUOUS
Not with stupid lines but with flirty gestures, he casually flirts with waitress. Its obvious he asks about Nancy’s table.
15. Fascinated, he watches, admires skill of
16. her skin show to corporate men.
17. JT tells his buddy he’s going after her, sex tonight!
18. Meanwhile he calls his date who rejects call as busy talking to Nancy about him. Date calls his phone but on silent, and too busy talk to Nancy.
19. His date comes back, can’t find him, leaves restaurant.
20. Nancy walks by dangles her hand on him, whispers something. He follows.
INT. LADIES ROOM – STALL – CONTINUOUS
Easy Date is flustered, goes to ladies room. Easy Date and Nancy talk in ladies room.
She straddles him sitting on his lap, facing him, slowing and stopping his unzipping, argues about The Bet, Easy date told her about, says she doesn’t want to just be a prize so no sex. Just lie to your friend. I’ll back you up.
He says he never lies to friends and never begs, she says you will this time or lose that stupid watch. They make a deal.
Deal is they have hurried sex but she gets ½ of prize.
9. Angry at bad sex, She wants more. Gaggle of curious women come and go in restroom. He’s terrified when his date comes in, complaining about his absence, telling her friend she plans to seduce him tonight.
10. He loses his erection from fear.
11. His date hears them struggling with no erection, having sex in ladies room, offended, leaves.
12. His pants have telltale stains on them, date points out, runs away.
13. He leaves follows but loses her.
14. Nancy comes back in ladies room with another man for sex, to satisfy her needs, where he failed.
15. INCITING INCIDENT She Pees on stick, tests pregnant. That bastard, he said he was sterilized or was it circumsized?
16. MEETS HIM. TRIES TO TRAP HIM INTO FATHERHOOD with DNA test that backfires. He’s father.
17. Act 2
18. INT. COFFEE SHOP – 6 Weeks later.
19. Elton dangles keys to Tesla, suspects JT lies about Nancy sex, questions.
20. They overhear Nancy her tell Easy Date she is pregnant 6 weeks.
21. Elton says so what, lots of men would step up as father.
22. Quandry for JT to prove test but gets Tesla and then lifelong child support father responsibility.
23. JT hands over Diamond Rolex.reluctant, means he avoids child support.
24. Ow does she find out he renigs, gets revenge?
25. REnigs on his promise to her, refuses DNA test, loses TEstla and watach, Claims she tried to tricked him.
26. Hey where’s my Tesla, you weasling worm?
27. Elton rem;inds him: Look out fallout on BET Hell hath no furry like a woman scorned. She’s got law on her side, you should know Mr. lawyer.
28. Elton hands Rolex back but Nancy swipes it. Well call it child support!
29.
30. ACT 2 CHALLENGE OLD WAYS
31. INT. GYM – DAY
32. Buddy talks. Her Brother meets them, wataches Guys are muscling up and tells she’s believes JT is father. No other sex. Not enough gym workouts for two women in one night! I want to have sex and propose to her tonight, but now this.
33. He’s a lawyer, she’s a visionary medium and artist but earns money by corporate consultations as a psychic visionary, has gallery showing to connect with big wigs.
34. Best Friend (BF) tells her a woman with an hour glass figure means fertility to a man.
35. bF father says in 1950’s girls were penalized for running. Accepted belief was young women’s guts would fall out. Think of chilling impact on youth that image had on their social lives.
36. Internet today informs and commercializes female sexuality.
37. Some believe 3 types of men. Depending on the body part they prefer, like French cooking or scotch whiskey. Three groups of men find different parts of women erotic: breasts, butts, and Pets (oral, hands, toys,games, anything to get you off,
38. BF has huge breasts, says so guess what type is my husband, poor cultures and countries like beefier women who don’t miss any meals.
39. women are big as teenagers hourglass.
40. likes mother earth and blow jobs, or butts and bragging to friends or PET and private.
41. Chunky woman husband likes meat to grab onto, same as butt men. Ethnic men’s preferences. Many women and Smart men like games, fantasies, toys, etc.
42. Irritated with delays, He asks forcefully for 10<sup>th</sup> time, gets swab of his DNA, tests prove baby’s his.
43. By now she can no longer hides it, Still doesn’t come clean and tell JT.
44. He’s given up on her, yet she pushes.
45. Confusing date of conception is why she wants to date him for more sex.
46. He’s courting another girlfriend and several opportunities.
47. INT. HIS HOUSE – DAY
48. She barges in to confront him with his womanizing ways while he’s getting ready for another woman date.
49. He forces her to self understanding, to get her M.O. of she just wants control, to avoid being open, afraid of her emotional life.
50. He says: Be honest, do you really know what you want in a man?
51. GF narrates as we watch: Reality is: Women in a bar hit on the same lucky sap over and over.
52. GF talk: You don’t stand a chance landing him, unless you just offer easy no strings sex in ladies room. Another woman is waiting in front of the line. Don’t fool yourself. Use those visionary medium powers to help yourself get a man, the right man.
53. Admit your mistakes, see other women’s mistakes. How are you different? I’m not, women in love are fallible creatures. Driven by emotion, not rational, logical but feelings of the moment. How else can I live, wporks for me, at little, atr least.
54. Do you want marriage, family? What do you vision for yourself. What makes you happy, enthusiastic?
55. Brainstorm to have your life perfect, exactly how you imagined it to be, living your dream.
56. Nancy: I tried and I failed. I’m too complicated, never understand myself or what I want beyond giving into impulse, like chocolate all the time.
57. TURNING POINT
58. I’m weak worthless, no reason to go on.
59. Suicide attempt? Are you living a life worth living? What gives you motivation, passion, desire to live fully
60. His old ways are to philander, decides to focus on her.
61. her old ways are to philander, decides to continue, despite his objections he wants to be faithful and only her, only them together.
62. She throws his too many dates history in his face, when they’re in coffee shop, three dated women come up to them.
Baby scheme fails.
63. HAS ABORTION.
He finds out, then is upset. He wants to be honorable even though she hides it from him, then pretends doesn’t know who father is..
21. Act 3
22. INT MENS LOCKER ROOM – NIGHT
23. Claims its not his, leaves.
24. She wakes up, begs to get him back.
ACT 3 WITH MIDPOINT CHANGE, OLD WAYS DROP OFF, PROFOUND MOMENTS LEAD TO NEW WAYS
64. Abortion? Or better in Act 2?
65. Watching and condemning JT breakdown over abortion,
66. Tells him test results were unclear, doesn’t really know it’s his. He believes , thinks, knows she has another boyfriend so she’s lies to get away from him.
67. He spies on her, looking for evidence of another boyfriend, cigarettes.
68. What are new ways that come from profound moments?
69. She cares he doesn’t believe her.
70. She sends flowers and apology, asking for his trust.
71. She doesn’t trust him fully yet but each tries new ways to discover, develop and earn trust.
72. (insert trying to trust scene)
73. Insert new ways to earn trust.
ACT 4 TEST CHANGE IN CHARACTER, PROVE THE NEW WAYS
WHAT IS HER CHANGE? TRUSTS MEN? FIRST TRUST HERSELF.
She listens as Friends push marriage. She comes back,
74. She gets close then moves away, flip flops,
75. He reverts back to insensitive.
76. She hardens to men’s efforts.
77. His best friend interest in her ripens as gap between them widens.
78. Best friend courts her flowers, gets in fight with JT.
79. JT says she’s a slut, con or grifter, after his money, very divisive to them.
80. JT apologizes but she’s out with best friend who’s proposing.
81. NOTE: build this bf character from beginning.
82. Uses her new learning to ask questions on their date.
83. Likes his answers so She Gets committed to another man.
25. Act 4 THERAPIST OFFICE/ BAR/ SAILBOAT???
26. Drunk ravings in a bar to no one in particular. Elton hushes him.
27. Meanwhile she needs money, does internet porn, private viewings called youview $60K month. Insecam, subscribers.
28. He hardens, irrational.
29. Blames her for pregnancy
30. Next day, he challenges her to respect men and show positive change in attitude toward others.
31. She fails in his mind,
32. Elton sees opportunity for rescue operation.
33. She sees Elton as a better man, leaves JT out.
INT. LOVE NEST APT. 1YEAR LATER.
34. She’s domestic motherhood with husband Elton.
becomes loving and emotional master.
Elton is wearing Rolex. Tesla is parked outside. Baby boy is cooing.
JT is knockling at door but they pretend not to hear knocking, laughing.
ADD these transformational events to your four act structure.
I did a cut and paste, adding his transformational events to her four Acts. I hope I can sort thru it in #9. I kept original numbering, separating hers from his. Time sequences are disjointed but many great beats drive the story.
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Rebecca Jordan’s Beat Sheet 2, Lesson 8
What I learned from this assignment is that this is both arduous and engaging work. I need to type faster. But doing these passes and nailing down theme with beats of both characters, the story really begins to right itself. I probably have way too many locations. But I’m okay with that for now, as it serves the story. I hope.
Theme: Surviving loss
__________ACT 1__________
EXT. FESTIVAL – NIGHT
Opening: Rachel, 50’s, sings background vocals in a Tom Petty Tribute Band to a live crowd. They finish up with Rebels for their final encore. Crowd cheers. The band walks off the stage waving with thank you.
EXT. BACK STAGE – CONTINUOUS
The band loads out their gear. Pop open beers from the cooler. Rachel grabs a beer. Packs up her gig bag. She is invited to an after party. It’s hard to resist but declines, need to get to work on her memoir which has her all consumed. She has a long drive.
Rachel walks to her car. Loads the up. Finishes her beer and takes off waving to her band mates.
INT. PICK UP TRUCK – NIGHT
Rachel drives. Deep in thought.
EXT. FARM ARENA – DAY
1974 – Rachel,10. Riding horse, practicing barrel racing techniques. Hillary, late 20’s, tall and beautiful, side coaches afoot from the other side of the fence.
INT. FARM ARENA – DAY/EVENING
1974. Rachel , 10 rides horse English style, with friends. They practice jumping. The kids are older and cue Rachel from the other side while passing a joint. Someone offers her a joint. She takes it but not sure what to do with it. They teach her to smoke and head out for a trail ride.
EXT. FARM, HOUSE YARD – MORNING
Cliff, late 40’s Hillary’s much older husband; the epitome of an old school handsome cowboy. He and Rachel laugh heartily chasing and catching ducks outside the chicken coup.
INT. FARM, DINING ROOM – NIGHT
Cliff and Hilary at the dinner table. Rachel discovers for the first time that she is eating the ducks they caught for dinner and nearly spits it out and cries. She shows them her drawings of the horses. They’re really good.Hillary comments on how Mom and her brother, uncle Ben are great sketch artists, very talented and how Rachel must have gotten her talent from them.
EXT. ANOTHER FARM – NIGHT
Present day. Rachel 50’s turns onto a long road that opens up to a medium sized farm with several barns and a much larger main house. (Rachel works on the farm caring for the horses and livestock in exchange for living in the barn.) She pulls up and parks her truck next to the smallest barn. Unloads the trunk.
INT. SMALL BARN – LATER
The barn is artsy and modest, but is nicely remodeled with an upscale DIY look. Rachel’s paintings are strategically hung with some in process on easels. The bed is high up in the loft, of course. Spiral staircase?
Rachel writes at computer. Stops. She looks through a box of photos where photos are strewn about, some taped to the wall, and finds some Old pictures of a farm with horses and a chicken coup and cattle. A picture of Hillary with her. She sits at the computer.
INT. SAN JUAN AIRPORT – MORNING
1972. Rachel, 8, and Mom, 26 exit the plane. Her Dad works for the airline and is there to receive them. He waves, smiling. Rachel asks Mom which uncle that is. Mom informs her that that’s her Dad.
INT. SMALL BARN – CONTINUOUS
Suddenly she’s up and pours herself another big glass of wine. Lights a joint. Paces, searching her story board on the wall.
INT. ORD AIRPORT – DAY
1972. Mom, 24 walks Rachel to the gate to see her off to visit Aunt Rachel, Dad’s sister, in California.
INT. SMALL BARN – CONTINUOUS
Rachel at the story board, moving pics around. Gives up. Sits. Smokes. Drinks. Closes her eyes, drifts off.
INT. APARTMENT HALLWAY – DAY
1973. Hillary and Rachel approach an apartment door. Rachel pulls her keys out.
The elevator door opens from down the hall. Mom, 26, petite blonde, with a tall lanky uniformed door man, 50’s, who rolls her in his desk chair toward the door. Her leg in a giant cast stretched all the way out in front of her.
INT. APARTMENT – CONTINUOUS
Rachel already inside, sees Mom, waves and quickly runs into the apartment. Mom calls out to her. Rachel runs crying into her room (small 1 bedroom apt) and shuts the door.
Hillary covers. Seeing Mom in a cast scared her. It was a surprise. Mom scoffs. They discuss the trip, the break up and the hospital visit. Mom shows Hillary her drawings. They are dark contemporary/surreal self portraits drawn with a black marker. Rachel comes out of room hesitantly. She stands close to Hillary. Mom talks about her self portraits and how drawing was therapy while in the hospital.
Reference nervous breakdown later at Easter?
INT. SMALL BARN – MORNING
Rachel 50’s in same clothes passed out on the couch.
Phone rings. She has a bad hangover. It’s her aunt talking way too loud on the phone, asking lots of questions. Rachel’s uncle Ben, Mom’s brother has committed suicide, shot himself in the head and nobody can find her piece of shit Mom. Rachel, in shock and at a loss. Tries to process. Doesn’t have a clue where her Mom is. Hangs up.
INT. SMALL BARN – DAY
Rachel, 50’s, at her with computer staring. Still hurting from the drink, she lights a joint, makes another cup of coffee, looks at photos. She finds one of herself as a teenager sitting on the grass with her now dead Uncle Ben.
INT. DINING ROOM – DAY
1976 Easter. Rachel, 10, with family. party ensues. Two Uncles and two Aunts, two young boys, 3 and 4 yrs old, and neighbors and children – at the dining table finishing up meal, laughing and carrying on. Drinking. Drunk.
Mom arrives, late. “Look what the cat dragged in.” At the dinner table Aunt, Ben’s wife tells a “funny” story about a little boy who had a blue ribbon and was playing and put the ribbon around his neck and tied it so tight that he was choking until his lips turned blue to match the ribbon. Everyone is laughing until Mom criticizes them for their bad behavior in front of her child. They make it clear that they don’t need to babysit while she’s off galavanting.
INT. KITCHEN – CONTINUOUS
Ben has Mom pinned on the kitchen floor kicking and screaming. He’s yelling at her.
He reminds her of the last time she didn’t show for a holiday because she was off with some guy and wrapped the car around a tree. Or when you went off with that Doctor you were gonna marry and wound up having a nervous breakdown.
INT. SMALL BARN – NIGHT
Rachel 50’s, drunk, typing at computer. Stops. Frantically searches box and finds a picture of a young boy, Willy, 2 yrs old. Another picture together, he’s 6, Rachel 8.
EXT. PUBLIC SCHOOL YARD – DAY
1972, Summer. Rachel, 8 yrs old, stands outside the chain link fence of a school yard. She waves at Willy,7, who runs to her excited to see her and throws his arms around her. They walk hand in hand. Stop at a park. She pushes him on a swing. They walk home. Enter a high rise apartment building.
EXT. PRIVATE SCHOOL – DAY
1972, Winter. Dad stands in front of a black limo wearing a winter coat. Woman is in the back seat. It’s snowing like a blizzard. A nun walks Rachel outside. Rachel recognizes him, runs and jumps into his arms. He swings her around. They talk for a bit and he kisses and hugs her. He gets in the car. The comes out and nun walks Rachel back inside
EXT. PUBLIC SCHOOL YARD – DAY
Rachel waits outside chain link fence. Only a couple of kids left getting picked up by parents. No little boy. The limo drives by unseen by Rachel. She walks home.
INT. SMALL BARN – DAY
Present. Rachel, 50’s, at her computer typing with furry. Paces. Stares at an unfinished painting. Aunt calls to see if she’s talked to her Mom yet. She’s found the last address she had for her Mom. Hard to read with all the erasures. She’s always pencilled in, never with a pen.
Rachel scribbles the address on a small piece of paper.
INT. PUB – NIGHT
Rachel, 50’s, at the bar drinking beer and doing shots with a handsome farmer. They’re drunk. Rachel pays her buddy behind the bar. Leaves with the farmer.
INT. SMALL BARN – NIGHT
Rachel and Farmer in the loft, having drunk sex.
__________Act 2__________
INT. SMALL BARN – MORNING
Rachel, a hung over mess, kicks the farmer dude out. Remorse.
Makes coffee. Looks at story board and finds a beautiful picture of her Mom. She finds the crunched up piece of paper in the waste basket and googles the address her Aunt has given her. Then calls the police department in that town and gives them the address from her aunt and asks if someone if someone could drive over to the house with a message to call her. It’s urgent.
EXT. PUBLIC SCHOOL YARD – DAY
1972. Snowing. the yard is empty. Around the corner, Little boy with Dad get into the back seat of limo with a woman. The car slowly drives by Rachel who waits at the chain link fence. She turns and walks away not seeing the car.
INT. SMALL APARTMENT – DUSK
1972. Rachel home alone after school playing with barbies. Rachel answers the phone. He wasn’t there. Thought he went home with a friend.
INT. SMALL APARTMENT – NIGHT
Rachel and Mom at home in high rise apartment very late with three cops standing in a circle in their living room. Rachel crying. Mother yelling and crying. Cops talking on radio and making calls. Asking questions.
INT. AIRPLANE – NIGHT
Dad, woman and little boy on a plane. They land in Puerto Rico
INT. SMALL APARTMENT – NIGHT
Mom answers phone. Distraught, hangs up. Mom enraged yells at Rachel. Blames her. Cops settle Mom down. Rachel runs to her room, screaming.
INT. SMALL BARN – DAY
Rachel, 50’s, on the phone waiting. Pacing. Lights a joint. Pours wine.
The police officer left a note on the door for her because nobody was home. Rachel hangs up.
INT. SMALL BARN – DAY
Rachel, just out of the shower, dresses and packs up a bag and her guitar and her computer, etc.
EXT. SMALL BARN – DAY
Loads up the truck and drives off.
INT. PICK UP TRUCK – DUSK
Rachel drives. Tired of her thoughts, turns on music loud. Sings.
PLACEHOLDER: 1972. Dad talking to Mom on phone negotiating the swap.
Rachel wants to go home. She’s homesick and misses school.
EXT. MOM’S HOUSE – NIGHT
Present. Rachel 50’s pulls up and parks. Sits in the car looking at the house. Finally, walks to the front door and rings the bell. A man answers the door. Woman joins him. Mom is renting out the house.
They invite her in for a cup of coffee. At a loss, she agrees. They talk and try to come up with some clues. The couple, encourages her and offers her the guest room to spend the night so she can get some rest. She turns them down and leaves.
TURNING POINT 2: MIDPOINT:
INT. PICK UP TRUCK – NIGHT
Rachel drives around the town criticizing its podunk nowhere nothingness. She gets high and finds a pub.
INT. PUB – NIGHT
Rachel, 50’s, drunk, parties with a guy at the bar. He gives her a couple of bumps of coke from a key. After throwing back a couple beers and shots, she leaves, waving off the man’s advances. He’s belligerent. Fuck you Fuck YOU
INT. PICK UP TRUCK – CONTINUOUS
Rachel sits in car smoking a joint. Then drives off.
PLACEHOLDER: 1977. 13.Insert getting kicked out of boyfriends.
Sleeping around in the bushes and lobbies.
INT. PICK UP TRUCK – NIGHT
Rachel 50’s, distracted looking for lighter, crashes the car and has to get towed.
EXT. ROADSIDE – NIGHT
Tow guy hooks her truck up to his rig while criticizing her for driving all fucked up. Claims he should call the cops to pick her up. She’s snarky at first.
INT. TOW TRUCK – NIGHT
Tow truck driver drives with Rachel in the passenger seat. He pulls up to the nice couple’s/Mom’s house. And waits for her to get out.
EXT. FRONT DOOR – NIGHT
Rachel rings the bell and looks back at the tow truck and flips him the bird. Same to you.
INT. GUEST ROOM – NIGHT
Couple sets Rachel up in guest room. And leave her to herself. They are perplexed. Maybe very straight laced.
Rachel gets into sweats and t-shirt, sits on the bed and opens her computer.
She types.
EXT. BROWN STONE APT BUILDING – NIGHT
Rachel, (age 13, 1977) in front of her apartment building, finishes up a joint while removing makeup with a tissue. She takes a swig from the pint of JD in her purse and throws a sweatshirt over her sexy top.
INT. INTERIOR HALLWAY – NIGHT
1977. Rachel 13, enters her apartment, skulks down the hallway, where her mom and Japanese step father, Yutaka, 28, are having dinner. Rachel is late. Mom, 31, blonde caucasian, wears a kimono, comes after Rachel yelling. Rachel ducks into her bedroom closes the door.
INT. APT DINING ROOM – NIGHT
At the dinner table, Mom scolds Rachel for putting ketchup on her rice which is unacceptable, to dirty the rice. Rachel retorts. Mom cues Yutaka and he back hands Rachel across the face. Rachel screams runs to her room.
INT. APT DINING ROOM – NIGHT
Rachel looks down the hallway, checks to make sure parents are asleep. She then throws her clothes out the window.
INT. APT HALLWAY AND KITCHEN
She sneaks out the back door with a partially empty empty duffle bag.
EXT. BROWN STONE APT BLDG – NIGHT
Boyfriend, Stew,16, waits in car as she scoops up her clothes and hops in.
They drive off.
__________ACT 3 __________
INT. GUEST ROOM – NIGHT
Rachel wakes up with open computer lying next to her. She wants to light a joint but doesn’t. Reads what she has written.
EXT. STREET – DAY
1977. Mom, 31, driving an old US Mail jeep, sees Rachel, 13, walking. She’s carrying a big purse. She pulls over and convinces Rachel to get in. Rachel makes fun of the new ride. Mom smell the pot and searches the purse. Drives to the police station to turn her in. Rachel convinces her to let it go. Paint store keeping a close eye on Rachel. At a stop light with a long line of traffic, a block from home, Rachel takes off and runs. Takes off and runs.
INT. GUEST ROOM – MORNING
She’s hungover. Takes a little bump. Packs her things.
INT. KITCHEN – DAY
Rachel at the table with the kind couple finishing breakfast. Man gets a piece of paper with a PO Box address. Gives it to Rachel. This is where he sends rents checks. They talk a little about what’s next. They recall having met Mom. Thought she was nice. Shows Rachel all the handy work that Mom did on the house.
EXT. TOW TRUCK LOT – DAY
Rachel 50’s, exits the Tow truck office and waves graciously at the nice couple. They drive off. She finds her truck loads up and drives off.
INT. PICK UP TRUCK – DAY
Rachel’s 50’s, driving. She turns on the music.
INT. MOM’S CAR – DAY
1972. Rachel, 8, sits in passenger seat with mom at the wheel at a stop light. They laugh as mom pumps the breaks making the car rock to the beat of the music. “Ga-sha-gow-gow-gow”
INT. PICK UP TRUCK – DAY
Rachel’s drives. She laugh’s, sings “Ga-sha-gow-gow-gow”
EXT. CRAPPY MOTEL – NIGHT
Rachel pulls in and parks.
INT. CRAPPY MOTEL ROOM – NIGHT
Tries to watch TV. Writes. Get’s stuck. Leaves.
INT. BAR – NIGHT
It’s dead. Rachel, 50’s, sits alone at the bar drinking. She orders another shot from the bartender. Maybe plays some pin ball. Finishes up her packy of coke.
INT. STEW’S APARTMENT – MORNING
Mom shows up with Probation Officer at back door looking for Rachel. Mom and Carlee criticize each other about being shitty mother’s. Mom says that if she has to choose between Rachel and new husband, she will choose husband. Carlee tells them to get lost, hasn’t seen Rachel. Hopes they don’t find her. She’s better off with out her.
INT. LARGE WALK IN CLOSET – CONTINUOUS
Rachel, in the closet, where all of her stuff is set up like, is curled up in the corner hiding. She overhears the arguing.
PLACEHOLDER: Apartment manager scene. Rachel convinces mgr to rent her an apartment.
She paints the apartment.
EXT. STREET – DAY
Rachel on the same street where Mom had picked her up. A detective in street clothes asks her question about “shouldn’t you be at home?” Name? Etc. Rachel takes off running. Another detective grabs her puts her hands behind her back and walks her to the car and shoves her in.
INT. CRAPPY MOTEL ROOM – NIGHT
Rachel in her sweats and t-shirt, at a desk looking at open computer, finishes a beer. Closes computer.
She slips off her sweats, navigates getting under the sheets. Immediately puts sweats back on and gets in the bed. Stares at the ceiling.
INT. MENTAL HOSPITAL FOR CHILDREN – DAY
Rachel and a bunch of kids stand in line as the COUNCELOR hands each kid a cigarette from their perspective cartons. A psychiatrist approaches Rachel and introduces himself and pulls her out of the line.
INT. OFFICE – CONTINUOUS
The Psychiatrist behind his desk, listens to Mom who sits next to new husband, Yutaka and across from Rachel, arms folded. She complains about her derelict child taking no responsibility for her part. Just unloading. The psychiatrist asks the couple to leave; she’s not helping matters. Rachel is satisfied that someone is finally on her side.
INT. STEW’S BEDROOM – NIGHT
Rachel and Stew sleeping on a single matress on the floor, a 70’s thing. Carlee knocks. Rachel needs to leave.
EXT. MANSION ON THE LAKE – DUSK
Rachel in the bushes trying to hide and sleep.
INT. ENTRYWAY OF BUILDING – MORNING
Rachel curled up sleeps under the stairwell of an apartment building. She wakes to foot steps coming down the stairs and gathers her stuff and runs out of the building and down the walkway toward the street. A business man walks out behind her.
__________ACT 4__________
INT. CONVALESCENT HOME – NIGHT
Rachel 50’s with her guitar, sneaks down the hallway, ducking to be unseen, looking in rooms until she finds her Mom and quietly ducks in.
INT. MOM’S ROOM – NIGHT
Rachel, 50’s, tries to wake up her Mom who is hooked up to machines. Emotional, Rachel talks to Mom. Explains why she’s come. Tells her about her brother shooting himself in the head. Plays and sings a song for her. Nurse, Eleanor, 70’s, enters and tells her she has to leave. It’s after visiting hours and Mom hasn’t had any visitors a doesn’t know of her having a daughter.
EXT.BROWN STONE APT BLDG – MORNING
1977. Rachel, 13, braces herself and enters the building, using her key.
INT. APARTMENT HALLWAY – CONTINUOUS
Rachel,13, tip toes down the hallway toward her bedroom. Mom steps into view, wearing her kimono. Startles Rachel. She’s home from work and has been worried sick. They come up with the plan for Rachel to go to the Mental Hospital. Best for both of them. Rachel doesn’t want to live with Mom. But this is the most civil we see them.
INT. CRAPPY MOTEL ROOM – MORNING
Rachel wakes with a start. Breaks down. Gets her weed out of the duffel bag and preps to roll a joint. Looks in the mirror. Puts the weed away. Heads for the bathroom.
INT. CRAPPY MOTEL ROOM – CONTINUOUS
Rachel dresses and combs her wet hair. Looks in the mirror. She looks like shit.
INT. CONVALESCENT HOME – MORNING
Rachel enters carrying her guitar, computer bag and two cups of coffee. Sees Eleanor, smiles and takes her a cup of coffee. Eleanor, a loss, takes it. Rachel apologizes for being rude the night before.
INT. MOM’S ROOM – DAY
Rachel, 50’s, visits with Mom recalling stories from the past. Some not good stories.
PLACEHOLDER: Bathtub story from when she was 6. How the great dane took her for walks. The car rocking story. How Mom made her gargle with hydrogen peroxide when she had gingivitis and then almost died from the penicillin shot. Ballet class and frog man, etc.
This should transpire over several visits.
INT. CRAPPY MOTEL ROOM – NIGHT
Rachel writes with fervor. Takes her weed out to roll a joint. But instead wraps it in the baggie and shoves it deep into her duffel bag.
Back to writing, this time by hand in journal.
INT. CONVALESCENT HOME – DAY
Rachel develops a relationship with Eleanor. They share stories. Eleanor has issues with her children.
INT. MOM’S ROOM – DAY
Use place holders for each day. Some will be of Mom’s POV, when she becomes agitated from Rachel’s story telling.
INT. HALLWAY, CONVALESCENT HOME – NIGHT
Rachel over hears Nurse talking to Mom about Rachel. She discovers that Mom is somewhat cognizant with slurred speech. Rachel leaves.
EXT. BAR – NIGHT
Rachel resists going in.
INT. BAR – CONTINUOUS
Rachel sits at the bar but leaves when asked if she wants the usual.
INT. MOM’S ROOM – DAY
Rachel sits quiet. Plays guitar softly, humming. Mom, eyes closed, is agitated but unable to speak. Are those tears? Rachel wipes them with her fingers and then brushes her fingers through her mom’s hair.
INT. SAN JUAN AIRPORT – EVENING
1972. Mom lands in Puerto Rico. Get’s her bags from the overhead. Stands and waits in line to exit plane.
EXT. CIALES, PR – DAY
Mom pulls up in rental car. Walks up to a modest house surrounded by plantain trees. Knocks. Grandmother comes to the door, surprised, and lets her in.
INT. PR HOUSE – CONTINUOUS
Mom waits, Willy, 6, with Grandmother enters and, in Spanish, introduces him to his Mother. After formalities, Mom exits with Willy claiming that they are going shopping to by him clothes and will return before dinner.
INT. FRAN AND ELY’S HOME – NIGHT
Mom is on the couch with Willy trying to make him comfortable. He has pneumonia and is coughing excessively. Fran and Ely bring her blankets and humidifier.
Mom is scared and worried, fawning over her son.
INT. SMALL APARTMENT – NIGHT
1972. The sound of cops talking into walkie talkies. Cops trying to calm Mom, 26 who is panicking. Rachel sobs in the corner apologizing over and over. The phone rings. Blood curdling screams as she hangs up the phone.
INT. MOM’S ROOM – DAY
Blood curdling sounds coming from Mom who doesn’t open her eyes. Rachel tries to soothe her. Looks down the hallway for Eleanor. The machines start beeping. She presses the emergency button. Mom takes Rachel’s hand and squeezes it hard. Rachel wipes tears form Mom’s face. They stay there. It gets dark outside. Staff enters asks Rachel to leave.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 3 months ago by Rebecca Jordan.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 3 months ago by
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Benito Selim’s beat sheet 2
What I learned in this assignment is having two separate beat sheets makes for a better script since we can examine both protagonist and antagonist better.
ACT 1
INT. MOVING CAR- NIGHT
Opening: Karen and her boyfriend Jeff drive along a lonely road. Karen mentions she has been feeling uneasy lately.
TE 1: Jeff questions why she is feeling nervous, and Karen reminds him of the date. Jeff acknowledges as they continue with their ride. Jeff informs Karen of a surprise.
PLACEHOLDER: Karen already has a secret about her past and feels something bad is going to happen.
EXT. STARKOAKS FARM -NIGHT
INCITING INCIDENT: Karen and Jeff arrive at a decorated barn. They have a romantic evening. Jeff excuses himself and is killed by an unknown assailant outside the barn. Karen tries to escape by running and hiding but eventually is killed.
INT. DARRYL’S DORM ROOM- NIGHT
Darryl works on his computer. He begins hearing faint voices followed by a scream for help. Darryl reaches into his drawer and removes pills. He takes the pills, and the voices go away.
EXT. DUMPSTER — DAY
Darryl finds a projector-type camera and comes up with the idea to shoot his final project on film.
EXT. STARKOAKS FARMS- DAY
Darryl and his friends shoot their documentary at the farm; Darryl finds a locket a takes it with him.
TE 2: As Darryl and his friend’s film, Karen appears in the viewfinder, but no one gives notice. She disappears without anyone noticing her.
INT. EDITING ROOM- LATER
Darryl and his friends edit their footage, Karen appears on their footage and is brutally murdered. Shocked they then think it’s a joke and edit out the footage.
INT. CLASSROOM- DAY
TE 3: Darryl and his friends show their project, but Karen reappears her murder is more gruesome than before. She connects with Darryl and asks for help, which no one else sees. The projector camera and film then go up in flames.
PLACEHOLDER: Why is Karen reaching out to Darryl? Why did she appear in the film?
ACT 2
INT. COLLEGE LIBRARY- DAY
Darryl does research into recent disappearances and murders. Darryl then reflects on his childhood and befriending a young girl who was discovered to be murdered.
INT. DORM BATHROOM- DAY
INCITING INCIDENT: Darryl splashes water on his face and is instantly back at Starkoaks. Karen is standing in the middle of the field staring at him. She holds a locket; Darryl comes back to reality in a panic
PLACEHOLDER: What does Karen want with Darryl? Why is she communicating with him?
INT. RESTAURANT- NIGHT
Darryl encounters a woman by the name of Ellen Paisley who informs Darryl he possesses a gift of being a medium. Ellen tells him Karen has attached himself to him. Darryl at this point decides to open the locket to find Karen and Jeff’s pictures inside.
EXT. COLLEGE CAMPUS- DAY
Darryl shares the news with his friends who oppose his pursuit of finding out who killed Karen. Detective Will Garnett sought out Darryl for questioning.
TE 4: Garnett informs Darryl that Karen is related to the cop who took down a serial killer named Johnny Vernon. The same killer Darryl unknowingly help capture.
INT. POLICE STATION- EVENING
Detective Garnett tries to get a confession out of Darryl, but his details of the murder are not adding up to accuse him. Darryl is released and proceeds to meet up with Ellen for more information. Detective Garnett tails him.
INT. ELLEN’S HOUSE- NIGHT
Ellen informs Darryl about her past and the murders that have haunted the town. Darryl then connects his childhood experiences with ghosts and discovers he helped bring down the very person who was trying to kill Ellen.
TE 5: Karen appears to Darryl. Ellen tells him she’s aware of her and knows her past, but she is attached to Darryl, Ellen cannot intercept communication.
PLACEHOLDER: Darryl possesses her locket therefore Karen is with him.
ACT 3
INT. MRS. CASE’S HOUSE- DAY
Darryl meets with this mother to get answers. He gives details of the past murders, and his mother confesses that they jump to conclusions about his diagnosis. She also admits his father was murdered by the very killer, he helped capture.
EXT. STARKOAKS FARM- LATER
Darryl returns to the farm solo and is immediately thrown into a vision. He can communicate with Karen more clearly and encounters other victims.
INT. COLLEGE DORM- NIGHT
Darryl is attacked but gets away. Detective Garnett returns to gather information, he then asks for Darryl’s help and opens up about previously knowing Ellen. Garnett also informs Darryl two of his friends have been murdered.
The ending is still in the works.
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Lesson 8: Add Theme and Antagonist Journey
BG’s Beat Sheet Draft 2
What I learned doing this assignment: I have trouble getting my head around ‘theme’ and would have liked to see examples:
What is the theme of Gone with the Wind?
What is the theme of Matrix?
What is the theme of Casablanca?
What is the theme of War and Peace?
What is the theme of Silence of the Lambs?A CLUB FOR PATRIOTS
ACT 1:
INT. APARTMENT LOBBY — NIGHT
Opening: An unhappy-looking young man walks in. Late-twenties, medium-build. He’s a foreign- affairs Reporter for a serious weekly magazine. He finds a fat envelope in his mailbox.
INT. NEWSROOM – DAY
Bustling newsroom, with computer screens everywhere. Reporter and his Editor discuss contents of the fat envelope, which are laid out on a big table: bad copies of photos of several people, of a posh club in London, of diplomatic cables, and of what look like online bank statements…
A reverse-image search of an important-looking man’s photo reveals he is Billionaire, scion of a noble family. Mid-sixties. Information on him streams down the screen. He uses his media empire to promote Western values. His foundation, National Endowment for Freedom (NEF), provides billions to democracy efforts worldwide…
Inciting Incident: The whole thing looks like a tip about a plot. Editor decides it’s worth checking out.
TE: Reporter is his usual non-committal, unsmiling self. Editor: No need to be so glum. You’ll have a great time in Europe. Just keep it cheap.
INT. APARTMENT LOBBY — NIGHT
Reporter discusses contents with a Hacker friend in London via video call.
TE: Hacker friend: Gee, money being collected for a nasty purpose? Reporter: The world is full of nasty stuff. Let’s just stick to getting a scoop.
INT. INSIDE AIRPLANE – NIGHT
Cheap flight. Reporter plugging away at his laptop.
INT. CHEAP HOTEL – NIGHT
Cheap room. Reporter plugging away at his laptop.
EXT. LONDON STREET – DAY
Turning Point: Finds the building and walks around. Huge, beautiful, 18th century palace. Discrete gold sign reads: A Club for Patriots. Reporter enters the Club.
INT. INSIDE THE CLUB – DAY
A very friendly Hostess working at the Club spots him. He allows himself to be picked up by her. Gets job as waiter. Hostess gives him a tour.ACT 2
INT. INSIDE THE CLUB – DAY
Reaction: Meets some of the staff. Has encounter with Billionaire (media mogul, head of the conspiracy).
TE: During the encounter, Reporter sticks to his waiter role — a polite, serious, smart waiter.
Billionaire comes across as a dominant personality, a leader of men. He takes a shine to Reporter — good help is so hard to find.
EXT. OUTSIDE THE CLUB – NIGHT
New Plan: Reporter sneaks around and climbs in through an open window…
INT. INSIDE THE CLUB – NIGHT
TE: Takes a dangerous and semi-illegal step: He plants a listening device in the thermostat of the main conference room.
INT. MAIN CONFERENCE ROOM OF THE CLUB – NIGHT
A modern-day star chamber. Billionaire presides. Around the table are an Energy Mogul, a Weapons Mogul, a retired 4-star General, and a former Prime Minister. Billionaire gives his pep talk about their current project, codenamed Northstar, to start a war in Eastern Europe. Success! The 20-billion-dollar kitty for the project has been assembled. Northstar is ready to go.
EXT. OUTSIDE THE CLUB – NIGHT
New Insights: Reporter, listening in in his car, is upset. He has a phone call with his Editor.
TE: Reporter seems out of his funk: Just who are these men who feel entitled to start wars and consign so many to destruction and death for their own purposes?
INT. CIA CONFERENCE ROOM LANGLEY – DAY
Turning Point/Midpoint: Deputy Director for Eastern Europe meets with underlings. They are not only aware of Northstar, but they are covertly supportive. NSA has warned them that the press may be onto Northstar. They decide to alert Billionaire via MI6 and other cutouts.ACT 3
INT. INSIDE THE CLUB – DAY
Meeting room is searched, but no bug is found.
INT. INSIDE THE CLUB – NIGHT
New Insights: Billionaire discusses the matter with the other members of the conspiracy.
INT. ENERGY MOGUL’S HOME OFFICE – NIGHT
The Energy Mogul jumps the gun, meets with an Assassin and hires him without authorization.
INT. HOSTESS’S BEDROOM – NIGHT
Unbeknownst to the Reporter, the Hostess protects him by throwing suspicion on his innocent Hacker friend.
INT./EXT. CIA SAFE HOUSE – DAY
Hacker has been captured by CIA agents. He is interrogated in a CIA safe house on the outskirts of a remote village near Scottish moors.
INT. CHEAP HOTEL – NIGHT
Meanwhile, Reporter, worried about his Hacker friend and getting suspicious of the Hostess, has hacked into her computer remotely, and is horrified.
INT. HOSTESS’S BEDROOM – NIGHT
Turning Point 3: Reporter confronts Hostess, who is revealed to be a German agent, also trying to stop the plot.
TE: Reporter decides to sacrifice his own safety to rescue his Hacker friend.ACT 4
INT./EXT. CIA SAFE HOUSE – NIGHT
New Plan: Reporter and Hostess break the Hacker out of the CIA safe house with an elaborate plan and help from Hostess’s contacts.
INT. CHEAP HOTEL – NIGHT
TE: Reporter, Hacker and Hostess make plans to divert the conspirators’ 20 billion dollar kitty to stop Northstar.
INT. INSIDE THE CLUB – NIGHT
TE: Status meeting. Billionaire is breathing fire: he has discovered 20 billion dollar kitty is no longer in the secret account. After a heated discussion, with recriminations flying around and Energy Mogul on the defensive, Billionaire terminates Northstar.
INT. BILLIONAIRE’S OFFICE – NIGHT
Billionaire, disenchanted with Energy Mogul for bringing unwelcome attention to the group, meets with Assassin and hires him for more money to kill him instead of Reporter.
INT. ENERGY MOGUL’S BEDROOM – DAY
Energy Mogul is found dead in his bed — attributed to sudden cardiac arrest.
INT. BILLIONAIRE’S OFFICE – DAY
Climax: Billionaire gives an interview to Reporter to justify his worldview, to see how much he knows, and blame it all on Energy Mogul.
TE: During the interview, Reporter challenges Billionaire’s worldview. The balance of power between them has changed.
INT. INSIDE THE CLUB – NIGHT
Resolution: The floor of a hidden room behind the main conference room suffers a sudden structural failure and collapses. The resulting fire from broken gas pipes destroys Northstar documents and equipment.
INT. RESTAURANT – DAY
TE: Reporter is seen smiling and animated, having dinner with Hostess/German Agent.-
This reply was modified 3 years, 3 months ago by BG ERENGIL.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 3 months ago by BG ERENGIL.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 3 months ago by
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ProSeries 81
Dana’s Beat Sheet Draft 2
What have I learned from this assignment?
I have been writing my past scripts the wrong way. This method of layering the protagonist and then the antagonize journeys into a beat sheet is much faster. I can insert the themes of vengeance where they need to be placed without being obvious or perfecting the script. And I am beginning to see the final script before I even begin to write it. My scripting is getting easier.
ACT I —–
INT. PRISON CELL BLOCK – DAY
Bedlam inside a maximum-security prison cell block. The prisoners locked in their cells. Frank Valentino is being walked out of prison by guards.
INT. WARDEN’S OFFICE – DAY
Frank enters to meet the warder, one last meeting before Frank is released. The warden speaks to Frank about the crime he committed, his incarceration, his conduct as a prisoner.
Frank qualified for early release based on the governor’s new policies. Frank never speaks. He just leaves.
EXT. GOVERNOR’S PRESS CONFERENCE – DAY
With his wife at his side, the governor is taking questions at a podium from the crowd of questions. Short list for VP? Jack and Frank first released under his new policy affect his standing in poles. He looks confused. But comes up with a BS about everyone deserves a second chance.
EXT. PARK – DAY
Jack Donovan sits at a park bench across from a school watching his daughter from a distance. He’s confronted by his ex-wife who sees him. She warns him to stay away from her and their daughter, they have a new life, and his daughter doesn’t know him. Jack has been granted early parole, too. Why?
Jack realizes he’s lost everything but wants it back.
INT. GOVERNOR’S LIMO – DAY
Governor, wife and dirty cop in limo. Discuss Jack and Frank release. Governor surprised. Discusses irony. He wants them watched by parole office. Dirty cop will take care of it. They’re not allowed to see each other on parole.
INT. COFFEE SHOP – DAY
Jack and Frank meet secretly. They’re not allowed to associate with each other while on parole. They discuss their parole agents, where they’re living, etc.
Jack tells Frank he wants to reopen the investigation into the murder to find the real killers. Frank refuses. He wants to move on, and he’s headed to Phoenix. They argue, and they go their separate ways.
INT. LAW OFFICE – DAY
Jack meets with the victim’s family lawyer. Jack insists his innocence. That someone got to the victim in the holding cell. Lawyer doesn’t care. The CCTV evidence doesn’t prove that, so either Jack and Frank are lying, or everyone else is.
The lawyer gives Jack the case files from the civil law suit.
EXT. HALFWAY HOUSE PARKING – NIGHT
Street thugs try to kill Frank at his halfway house. They fail. Beats the crap out of them. He tries to question one, but they all flee.
Frank suspects someone wants him dead. He won’t be able to just disappear. He flees when he hears the sirens.
EXT. PARKING LOT – NIGHT
From the shadows (DIRTY COP) stands watching the thugs he hired to kill Frank get the shit knocked out of them until they flee. He realized Frank is more formidable that he had thought. He vanishes into the shadows.
ACT II —–
INT. JACK’S ROOM – DAY
Frank is waiting for Jack and surprises him inside the room. He agrees to investigate the murder.
Frank wants vengeance/Jack wants justice to get his life back. Frank agrees to do things Jack’s way for now.
INT. GOVERNOR’S OFFICE – DAY
The governor is having a meeting with staff discussing the potential VP nomination. As the female aid leaves, she and the governor share a moment as if to say they’re having an affair.
The wife arrives. She’s notices the female aid leave, and from her expression, she suspects something.
The family’s attorney has been calling the governor. He wants to meet. Wife is very concerned.
INT./EXT. LOCATION – DAY/NIGHT
PLACEHOLDER: SIMON receives a phone call. He is very professional. He’s told the dirty cop has failed. The client should have called him first. He agrees to kill Jack and Frank.
INT./EXT. LOCATION – DAY/NIGHT
PLACEHOLDER: Jack and Frank go over the files, comparing the criminal files to the civil files. They learn the victim was an illegitimate child. Father unknown. Adopted. Information they never knew because they were not part of the civil trial.
BIG QUESTIONS: Who got into the holding cell when victim was alone? What happened to the jailhouse guards? Who wanted him dead? Is something wrong with the surveillance DVD of the police holding cell?
INT. HOTEL KITCHEN – DAY
The family lawyer meets with the wife. He’s upset the governor hasn’t returned calls. His clients are being ignored. He helped with the frame of the cops, and he’s given them enough to whet their appetites. Now he wants more. She makes a deal with the lawyer.
INT./EXT. LOCATION – NIGHT
PLACEHOLDER: Simon and the leading dirty cop meet. Discuss letting Frank and Jack investigate to find any holes in the frame that were overlooked. It’s gotten messy. They have to find the technician who altered the videotape. He’s in hiding.
INT./EXT. LOCATION – DAY
PLACEHOLDER: Frank and Jack are following one of the guards on duty the night of the killing. He’s no longer a cop, but a security guard. Suspended for sleeping on the job.
They get him to talk. He wasn’t involved but gives them a lead. The CCTV was recorded on videotape not digital. There was no cloud back in the day. The technician who created the DVD must have altered the original. Jack and Frank leave.
INT./EXT. GUARD’S HOME – DAY/NIGHT
The guard arrives home. Simon kills him and leaves without incidence.
INT./EXT. LOCATION – DAY
PLACEHOLDER: Frank and Jack find the police technician that altered the tape tortured and killed by Simon before they can question him. They figure he gave up the original tape during the torture.
INT./EXT. LOCATION – DAY/NIGHT
PLACEHOLDER: They become suspects in the murder of the guard. Cops are looking for them now. Faces plastered over tv.
MIDPOINT —–
INT. MAFIA SOCIAL CLUB – DAY
Jack and Frank seek out the Mafia boss Frank did favors for while he was in prison to say alive. The reason why Frank didn’t want to dig into the past.
They need a place to hide. Mafia boss tells them why they were paroled. As long as the mob protected Jack and Frank inside, no-one could get to them. They were paroled to be killed on the outside.
By whom? Find the birth mother, and you’ll have our answers. The mob boss agrees to help find the adoptive parents.
INT. GOVERNOR’S MANSION – NIGHT – DAY
The whole mess is raising it’s head again. The wife tells him what the lawyer wants. He objects. She insists, and then tells him what she has done to protect them since he fathered a bastard child. She’s tolerated his philandering, and she had to take care of the murder with the dirty cop’s help. She has her ambitions, and the governor is going to go alone with them.
INT. PARENT HOME – NIGHT
Frank and Jack have broken in and are waiting for the mother to return. When she does, they sit her down to just talk. They convince her they did not kill her son.
She tells them it was her sister’s son. She was a prostitute and got pregnant by a john. But she never said who the father was. Just some collage frat boy. She didn’t get an abortion. She tried to blackmail the boy after her son was born. After she was killed, the sister raised the boy as her own to hide him.
INT./EXT. UNIVERSITY – DAY
Jack and Frank search for the victim’s father. How? Not quite sure. But they learn the governor was the boy’s father. They realize the power their fighting.
EXT. LOCATION – DAY
PLACEHOLDER: The dirty cop flashes his badge and grabs Jack’s daughter off the street.
ACT III —–
INT./EXT. LOCATION – NIGHT
Jack gets the call. The assassin has taken Jack’s daughter and holds her hostage. They trade themselves and the missing videotape for her life.
Jack and Frank realize the videotape is still missing. Who has it? They don’t know, but they can fake one to get their daughter back.
INT./EXT. LOCATION – DAY/NIGHT
Simon and dirty cop confer on their plan. Dirty Cop is insulted that Simon thinks he’s better than the cop. Simon is philosophical. It’s a job to him, no right, no wrong, no sides. The cop did it for greed, power, sex with the wife. Etc.
INT./EXT. LOCATION – NIGHT
Jack and Frank arrive at location. They have a tape to trade that gets them close. In the shootout, they kill to get his daughter back, but Frank dies.
But by killing the dirty cops, they have eliminated all the witnesses that could connect the governor to his conspiracy.
RESOLUTION —–
INT./EXT LOCATION – NIGHT
PLACEHOLDER: Jack has learned the truth, found partial justice, has met his daughter. But he’s still wanted by the cops, and to protect his daughter, he must move on. The governor has escaped justice.
EXT. LOCATION – DAY
The governor and his wife hold another press conference about the death of the dirty cop (NAME?). That he was killed by Frank and Jack, who is now on the run. They are questioned about the early release program that has now hurt his VP chances.
INT. MAFIA SOCIAL CLUB – DAY
Mafia boss is reading the newspaper about the shootout killing the dirty cops and Frank. He puts down the paper when a man enters, the reporter who wrote the story. The Mafia boss tells the reporter he needs to amend the story. The reporter asks why. The boss pulls out the missing videotape of the victim being killed and hand it to the reporter.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 3 months ago by Dana Abbott.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 3 months ago by
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TIM’S BEAT SHEET DRAFT 2 – DAY 8
What I learned doing this assignment is the importance of making the antagonist’s journey touch on the same theme as the protagonist, even if they are on opposite sides of the theme. Also, in recent lessons I’ve learned who my antagonist is! This was one of the missing elements from the start that was holding me back. Huzzah!
Interweave Theme throughout the beat sheet:
Act 1:
INT. BOB’S HOUSE – DAY
Opening: Duke’s comfortable life as “man’s best friend” with his bachelor owner Bob is disrupted by the arrival of Bob’s new girlfriend and her bratty young daughter.
INT. BOB’S HOUSE – DAY
A series of quick scenes:
– Duke’s drooling grosses out Bob’s girlfriend, so he loses his spot on the couch.
– Bratty girl rides Duke like horse; he tolerates it.
– Bob’s girlfriend sneezes when Duke is near; his bed is moved to the laundry room.
– Bratty girl puts muddy feet on couch while yacking on phone, blames Duke.
– Duke catches Bratty girl stealing money and barks to alert Bob. Girl cries and says Duke attacked her.
EXT. BOB’S HOUSE – NIGHT
Duke is literally in the doghouse, which he barely fits in. It starts to rain.
EXT. BOB’S HOUSE – DAY
Inciting Incident / TE: Bob checks in on Duke before leaving for work. He’s alarmed by Duke’s behavior and for the first time, calls Duke a bad boy. After Bob leaves, Duke runs away.
EXT. TOWN – DAY
TE: Duke meets Squirrel at a trash can. Squirrel helps get food for Duke.
EXT. WOODS – DAY
Antagonist intro: Duke meets Rex and his pack of bad dogs, who don’t like humans.
INT. HOME – NIGHT
Placeholder: Bob worries about Duke
EXT. STREETS – DAY
Duke hangs out near road, hoping Bob will find him. When Bob drives by, his girlfriend sees Duke and distracts Bob so he won’t see him too.
EXT. WOODS – DAY
Placeholder: Debate between Squirrel and Pack about Bob wanting Duke back. Duke agrees with Squirrel but can’t crawl back to Bob, so he gets caught by Dog Catcher on purpose.
INT. DOG POUND – DAY
Turning Point: Duke learns that he’s not wanted home and that he’s been called “a bad boy”. However, he doesn’t know it was Bob’s girlfriend who said these things and Bob is unaware of Duke’s situation.
Act 2:
INT. DOG POUND – NIGHT
Placeholder: Squirrel helps Duke escape.
EXT. WOODS – DAY:
New Plan / Antagonist: Duke joins the Bad Pack in bad attitude and raids trash cans in town.
EXT. TOWN – DAY
Bob hangs “Lost Dog” posters around town. A squirrel grabs one from a telephone pole and runs off.
EXT. TOWN – DAY
Plan in action: Squirrel shows Duke where to find the good stuff (restaurant dumpster food).
Antagonist: The Bad Pack follows them and causes such trouble that business owners call Animal Control. They barely escape.
EXT. TOWN – DAY
Bob’s girlfriend driving through town; she stops and pulls down a “Lost Dog” poster and throws it in trash.
EXT. CHINESE RESTAURANT – NIGHT
Squirrel offers wisdom to Duke about “purpose in life” but it’s a fortune from a cookie. Duke ate his.
INT. EMMA’S HOUSE – NIGHT
MEET EMMA. Emma’s parents are worried about her depression and think a pet would cheer her up. Dad is the dog catcher, so he agrees to let her pick a dog from the pound.
EXT. EMMA’S HOUSE – NIGHT
Antagonist: Pack plays a trick on Duke. They poop on Dog Catcher’s front step and make noise so that he comes out and steps in it. Duke is the only one there when it happens so he gets blamed.
INT. DOG POUND – DAY
Midpoint Turning Point: Strike 2 for Duke. He’s warned that one more return to the pound will be his last. But Emma surprises everyone by choosing Duke to adopt…against the advice of her father.
Act 3:
INT. EMMA’S BEDROOM – NIGHT
Rethink everything: Duke see pictures of Emma before she lost her leg – playing sports, skiing, happy. He sees how she now struggles with just one leg and a prosthetic. His heart begins to thaw.
EXT. WOODS – DAY
PLACEHOLDER: something happens with the dog pack causing more trouble – threatening Squirrel?
EXT. EMMA’S YARD – DAY
Placeholder: Squirrel brings Chinese food to Duke; more wisdom from fortune cookies.
EXT. DOG PARK – DAY
TE / Antagonist: Duke inside the fenced park as Emma rests. Rex talks to Duke from outside the fence and tells him to be his ‘inside guy’ to get dirt on Dog Catcher – his routine, any weaknesses, etc.
EXT. EMMA’S HOUSE – DAY
New plan: Duke talks with Squirrel in the yard. He promises again to help reunite her with her family, but he has to be careful not to break house rules. Emma sees them talking and is bemused.
EXT. WOODS – NIGHT
Antagonist: Rex tells the Pac they will soon finally get their revenge on Dog Catcher.
EXT. EMMA’S YARD – DAY
Antagonist: Duke tells Rex he won’t be his informant; Rex pressures him by threatening Squirrel.
EXT. EMMA’S YARD – DAY
TE: Dilemma – does Duke risk all to help Squirrel find his family?
EXT. TOWN – DAY
Antagonist: On a walk with Emma, Duke follows the scent of flowers that leads to Squirrel’s family. The Bad Pack arrives to hassle Squirrel and Duke accidentally knocks over Emma. Her father sees it all.
EXT. TOWN – DAY
Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift: Emma’s father takes Duke to pound. This is strike 3 for him.
Act 4:
EXT. PARK – DAY
Squirrel has happy reunion with family. She climbs the tree to their nest, her fear of heights gone. She notices Duke’s wanted poster in the nest material. She grabs it and runs off.
EXT. PARK – LATER
Emma cries over the thought of losing Duke forever. Squirrel drops the poster at her feet. She picks it up and understands immediately. She pulls out her cell phone and dials.
EXT. DOG POUND – DAY
Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict / Antagonist: Dog Pack attacks Emma’s father, thinking Duke will join them to free himself, but he defends Emma’s father and defeats Rex by tricking him into a cage. The other dogs are happy to free from Rex’s tyrannical reign.
EXT. DOG POUND – LATER
TE: Bob and Emma show up at same time and Duke runs to Emma, who hugs him and cries because she thinks she’s losing him. Bob approaches Duke and explains how he missed him and was looking for him. He calls Duke “good boy” and Duke licks his hand.
EXT. EMMA’S HOUSE – DAY
Resolution: Duke is a part of Emma’s happy family. The Squirrel family visits and watches Duke and Emma play as she talks excitedly about skiing again.
Closing Scene: Rex and the rest of The Pack walk by on the sidewalk, led by an older couple who adopted them. They are clean, comically coifed, and loving the attention.
Antagonist Journey (Rex – leader of the Bad Dogs Pack):
1. Rex welcomes Duke into the Pack, encourages his dislike for humans.
2. Puts Duke in his place when Duke challenges the Pack being mean to Squirrel. (Rex is king)
3. Leads Pack on mischief missions in town: knocking over trash cans, pooping on lawns.
4. Plays trick on Duke that gets Duke picked up by Dog Catcher.
5. After Duke is adopted by Dog Catcher, uses Duke as an informant to get info on Dog Catcher.
6. When Duke stops cooperating, Rex threatens Squirrel to coerce Duke.
7. Leads Pack in attack of Dog Catcher, and final confrontation with Duke.
8. Rex ends up adopted by little old lady (or girl?) who pampers him – and he loves it.
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What I learned from this assignment is that the Antagonist’s character arc can be the difference between a flat and fulfilling story.
Weaving the Antagonist:
ACT 1:
ELEMENTS OF ACT I:
EXT. HOTEL HALLWAY – DAY
Mitzi can’t get Emily’s dog out of her mind.
INT. PSYCHOTHERAPY OFFICE – DAY
Mitzi’s in her therapy session. Her therapist’s tied up, as he’s there against his will. He has a sheet of paper he reads from that she’s given him. It’s about her needing control. Mitzi says something that prompts him to ask a question that’s not on the paper. It’s about her mom. Mitzi sprays him with a giant water gun designed for the pool.
FLASHBACK
EXT, PLAYGROUND – DAY
Mitzi steals lunch money from nearly every kid on the playground.
INT. HOUSE – DAY
Mitzi proudly offers the money to her mother. Her mother tells her that the take seems light. She asks whether Mitzi stole any money from her teacher’s purse. Mitzi says ‘no’. Her mom tells her to go back and finish the job.
EXT. PRINCIPAL’S OFFICE – DAY
Mitzi’s suspended from school for taking money from her teacher’s purse. Mitzi’s mother chews her out for getting caught.
INT. MITZI’S CHILDHOOD LIVING ROOM – DAY
In a cold and dark concrete living room on Christmas morning, Mitzi wakes to find one gift under the steel and rebar tree. Mitzi opens her Christmas gifts to find a book on the “Art of Stealing”. Mitzi expresses great disappointment that she didn’t receive the Chihuahua she asked Santa for.
EXT. DRIVEWAY – DAY
Mitzi’s mom is shaken down for cash. Her mom says she doesn’t have it. Mitzi gets taken by thugs and sold to a circus where she’s given the job of stealing from circusgoers.
END OF FLASHBACK
INT. PSYCHOTHERAPY OFFICE – DAY
Mitzi tells the therapist that he probably thinks that she’s suffering from a lack of love from her mom. She tells him she’s wrong and that her mother made her the success she is today.
ELEMENTS OF ACT 2:
INT. DOG NURSERY – DAY
Mitzi stands in a dog nursery with a flamboyant interior designer. The room’s like a baby nursery but dog-themed with a dog bed designed like a throne.
She gets a call on the Satellite phone and strolls into the dungeon to take the call. In a 10-foot square cage, a piece of masculine eye candy grips the cage bars. He’s in a modest speedo (it’s a family film). On the cage is a small sign like a species identification sign that shows him on the cover of a romance novel that is Mitzi’s favorite.
The Goons are on the phone. She tells the goons to keep at it and stop calling her with reports about their defeat. She wants results.
OTHER ELEMENTS OF ACT 2:
INT. MITZI’S LAIR – DAY
Mitzi decides to take matters into her own hands. She flies to the U.S.
INT. PRIVATE JET – DUSK
Mitzi takes her private jet on route to Emily’s school.
INT. SOUP KITCHEN – DAY
Dressed as a nun, Mitzi’s mom, a convert to a life of good, sees her daughter in the cockpit of a jet on the news footage of NORAD tracking Santa. Mitzi’s mom rushes out of the soup kitchen.
EXT. SIDEWALK – DUSK
Mitzi’s mom spots Mitzi’s jet in the sky, steals a motorcycle and follows the jet from the streets.
EXT. PRIVATE AIRFIELD – DUSK
Mitzi gets into a helicopter. Mitzi’s mom catches up with the jet at the airfield just as Mitzi boards a helicopter. Mitzi’s mother continues the chase of the helicopter.
EXT. ROOF – NIGHT
Mitzi takes a rope to the roof. She wrestles with Emily to get the Chihuahua. Mitzi catches the dog in midair.
Santa’s sleigh lands. In the sleigh, Santa, Emily’s missing Dad. From Mitzi’s mother’s vantage on the ground, Santa looks like he’s pointing a gun. Mitzi’s mom guns the motorcycle, and she pulls an Evel Knievel stunt that allows her to parachute with her nun’s robe. She wrestles a candy cane from Santa’s hands. He explains he has been held captive by the sleigh until he delivers the one outstanding Christmas present that has been impossible to deliver since the recipient lives underground. It’s for Mitzi. It’s a Chihuahua puppy. He hands Mitzi the dog.
Mitzi and her mom reunite. Mitzi hands over Emily’s chihuahua.
INT. GYM – DAY
Mitzi, her mom and Emily . Mitzi’s never looked happier. The three compare their Chihuahua’s matching quilted jackets. Behind them, a banner for “Bring Your Pet to School Day”.
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“In the Shadow of Greatness”: Olivia’s Beat sheet with theme and antagonist journey added.
What I learned from this lesson is to make my antagonist(s) active members and the driving force behind the story. The protagonist does not come into her own until the final act.
Theme: This story is about power. Bill Clinton said, almost casually, that he had the affair with Monica Lewinsky “Because I could.” He had obviously sexually used and abused other women while Governor of Arkansas. George W. Bush abused power. Nixon abused power. Cheney, Reagan, Carter, Ford, Obama, and oh, God, Trump all abused the power of their office. So did Lincoln, Jackson, Grant, and most other presidents. So do most senators and congresspersons. It is a rare and wonderful thing to find someone in a position of power who does not abuse it. And once they have power, and get away with abusing it once, twice, thrice, they emit an aura of invincibility. Why did Trump, a failed businessman, become president? Because he believed he could. He was trained from birth that he was born better than anyone else, and he believed it. Only a person with complete ego-confidence can win an election, and some of them lose. But they never stop looking for power. Trump is campaigning for 2024; even Hillary is campaigning for 2024. They are both power-hungry. The antagonists in this story are bloated with power. They believe they, and only they, have the right to power. And into this world steps our hero, Olivia. A middle-class psychiatrist who had a power-mad, abusive father. A psychiatrist who looks to therapy for the power to change people’s lives. She has written an almost-unread book on hypnotherapy. She is drawn into the life of the most powerful man in the world, and she’s not ready for it. Power corrupts; absolute power corrupts absolutely. If she wants to have any power in this situation, she will have to be corrupted. She now lives in the shadow of greatness. This is her dilemma.
“In the Shadow of Greatness” beat sheet
Act 1:
INT. COURTROOM — DAY
Opening: Olivia is introduced in court as a psychiatrist who has written a theoretical book about hypnotherapy. She testifies that the defendant was hypnotically induced by Fox TV to attack the Capitol. The judge gives accolades to the power of her testimony.
INT. OLIVIA’S APARTMENT — NIGHT
In private, she hires a sex partner for her physical needs in order to avoid emotional attachment to anyone. It is the only relationship she can control; because she pays for it. But her male prostitute proves her wrong; he ties her to the bed before he leaves, taking all her money.
INT. OLIVIA’S OFFICE- DAY
Inciting Incident: Secret Service Agent Bryan Bowen tells Olivia the First Lady has been murdered. He hires Olivia to analyze the claimants.
INT. POLICE FACILITY — NIGHT
Olivia helps Bowen determine that none of the people confessing did the killing. Bowen admires the hypnotic power she has over the claimants.
INT. OLIVIA’S APARTMENT — MORNING
Turning Point: Olivia gets a call from Will, her one-time lover and the President’s Chief-of-Staff; he asks her to come to the White House.
Act 2:
EXT./INT. WHITE HOUSE — DAY
New plan: Olivia is overwhelmed by the White House. Davis asks her to treat the President. He tells her she will have the power to do anything she deems necessary.
INT. MUNSON’S ROOMS — DAY
Olivia begins cautiously; using conventional therapy on Munson. He overwhelms her with his sense of power.
INT. EAST WING — EVENING
Olivia emerges from her first sessions with Munson shaken. Davis gives her a brief rundown of procedures and a tour of the area she’s allowed.
INT. DAVIS’S APARTMENT — NIGHT
Olivia falls back into her old love affair with Davis. He has enough residual power over her to convince her to stay.
INT. MUNSON’S ROOMS — EVENING
Plan in action: The President blames himself for his wife’s murder. He confesses he was drunk and drugged, he suspected she was having an affair, he entered her apartment and found her tied to the bed. The next thing he knew, the knife was in his hand. He says he must have been powerless in the grip of emotion.
INT. EAST WING — DAY
Midpoint Turning Point: When Bowen confronts Olivia with video both of her failures with Munson and her affair with Davis, Olivia goes to Munson’s quarters to resign. She feels powerless.
INT. MUNSON’S ROOMS — DAY
Munson begs her to stay, giving her power over him. But she succumbs to his need and sleeps with him, exactly what he wanted. He now enjoys the power he has over her.
INT. MUNSON’S ROOMS — NIGHT
In the early hours, she wakes up hearing a voice. She searches for it, but it stops.
Act 3:
INT. EAST WING —DAY
Rethink everything: Olivia decides Bowen is wire-tapping her sessions with Munson and speaks to Munson.
INT. BOWEN’S CONTROL ROOM — DAY
Munson demands Bowen shut down the surveillance. They battle for power. Bowen grudgingly removes the bugs but secretly leaves one camera and one mic.
INT. MUNSON’S ROOMS — EVENING
New plan: Olivia begins hypnotherapy on Munson. She believes it gives her power over him.
INT. MUNSON’S ROOMS — NIGHT
Olivia awakens again, hearing voices.
INT. DAVIS’S APARTMENT — DAY
Olivia goes to Davis to tell him about the voice. Bowen has sent Davis a video of Olivia and Munson in bed. Bowen and Davis lock horns; Bowen fires Olivia.
INT. OVAL OFFICE — DAY
Davis castigates Bowen and demands he rehire Olivia. It’s a power play between them. When Munson finds out, he goes ballistic; Bowen rehires Olivia.
INT. MUNSON’S ROOMS — EVENING
During a hypnotherapy session, Munson vaguely suggests he raped a woman while in college. Even then he felt power over others, a need that has yet to be satiated.
INT. MUNSON’S ROOMS — NIGHT
Turning Point: Olivia awakens, again hearing voices. This time, she’s sure of it. She hears “You killed… the First Lady.” When she begins searching for the source, the voice cuts out again. She decides it’s real; she’s not hallucinating.
Act 4:
INT. INT. MUNSON’S ROOMS — DAY
Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict: Olivia enlists Davis’s aid in finding the bug. They take the power into their own hands, over Bowen’s objections.
INT. MUNSON’S ROOMS — DAY
Bowen arrives in Munson’s room. Olivia and Davis confront him with the two bugs he left and the recorder that played the voice. Bowen admits to the Secret Service bugs but confiscates the recorder along with them, denying anything to do with it. When Davis tries to get the recorder back, Bowen’s men violently stop him.
INT. OVAL OFFICE — DAY
Davis tells Munson about the bugs and blames Bowen.
INT. OVAL OFFICE — DAY
Munson explodes at Bowen during a cabinet meeting and fires him. Bowen argues that Munson doesn’t have the power; but Munson forces him out of the White House.
INT. CONFERENCE ROOM — DAY
Davis hints about the 25th Amendment. His power in the cabinet grows.
INT. BOWEN’S OFFICE IN TREASURY DEPARTMENT— DAY
Bowen listens to the recording that played in Munson’s office. He asks Olivia to meet him at the Jefferson Memorial.
INT. MUNSON’S ROOMS — EVENING
Olivia makes an excuse to Munson that she cannot stay the night. He insists she remain, and she does until the sleeping pill has its usual effect; then she slips out of the WH.
INT. JEFFERSON MEMORIAL — NIGHT
Olivia asks Bowen what Munson’s movements were the night of the First Lady’s murder. He tells her about how Jefferson exceeded his authority to make the Louisiana Purchase, and how presidents ever since have been abusing power. He tells her to get out before the lust for power overcomes her; she won’t be able to compete in this game. Bowen lies to her about Munson’s affair, knowing they are being watched, but slips a note into her hand during an awkward handshake.
INT. DAVIS’S APARTMENT — NIGHT
The note asks her to get a recording of Davis’s voice, whispering. Olivia makes love to Davis, then, while telling him Munson may be psychotic, gets him to whisper the words they heard on the recording “You killed them. You killed the First Lady”. She secretly records his voice.
INT. BOWEN’S OFFICE IN TREASURY DEPARTMENT — DAY
Olivia takes her recording to Bowen.
EXT. NATIONAL MALL — DAY
Olivia walks to the White House. She finds herself in front of Trump Hotel. When she reaches the WH, she goes to Munson’s rooms in the East Wing.
INT. BOWEN’S OFFICE IN TREASURY DEPARTMENT — EVENING
Bowen matches the recording of Davis to the voice in the night. He heads for the White House and calls Olivia.
INT. MUNSON’S ROOMS — EVENING
Olivia goes to Munson’s room to warn him, but Davis is there already. The call from Bowen comes in, and Olivia exposes Davis as the voice on the recorder. Davis reveals that Munson is a rapist and murderer, but Munson says he didn’t kill his wife. Davis surreptitiously latches the door.
EXT. STREETS OF WASHINGTON, D.C. — EVENING
Bowen tears across town to the White House and smashes his car through the gate. WH security arrest him and bring him inside, where he escapes them.
INT. BOWEN’S CONTROL ROOM — EVENING
Pursued into the West Wing, he demands to know where Davis was last seen. The Secret Service take him to the control room — cameras show Davis entering Munson’s Rooms.
INT. MUNSON’S ROOMS — EVENING
Davis admits he killed the First Lady when he realized Munson was planning to push her for the next presidential ticket instead of Davis. Munson tells them he would never have backed Davis as a presidential candidate. Davis vituperatively tells Munson how he cuckolded him with the First Lady repeatedly. Munson goes berserk; Davis shoots him but Munson kills him with a (weapon?). Munson begs Olivia to back him up, but Bowen arrives with his men to break in the door. Munson orders him to leave. Olivia says she will have to tell the world about his crimes. Munson attacks her, but she stabs him with the (weapon?) as he strangles her. Bowen and his men break the door down just in time to see Olivia fall, sobbing, and Munson crash to the floor with the (weapon?) in his neck. Olivia has beaten the most powerful men in the world.
INT. COURTROOM — DAY
Resolution: Olivia admits guilt, but in self-defense. Bowen’s testimony is useless to her, since all the cameras and wiretaps were removed and he is restrained by protocol. The jury convicts Olivia of murdering Munson. She declares she would do it again, given the power.
Olivia’s life is in ruins, but she accepts her sentence bravely. She knows she did the right thing, and that gives her the power to face her fate.
ANTAGONIST’S STORY LINE:
Davis hires Olivia, knowing he has power over her, to prove that Munson is a rapist and a murderer, hoping to replace him next election cycle.
Davis takes advantage of his history with Olivia to lure her into his bed.
Davis continues his plot to subconsciously force Munson into a confession, but Olivia hears the recording.
Davis poisons Munson’s mind about Bowen, and gets Bowen fired.
Davis reveals to Olivia that he watched Munson rape a coed behind a dumpster after a college party. He explains that Munson murdered her when he first ran for the Senate, because she was blackmailing her. He lists all the women who Munson slept with and may have killed.
Davis locks the door against Bowen.
Davis taunts Munson how he cuckolded Munson repeatedly with the First Lady. He confesses to framing Munson for the murder.
Munson attacks and Davis shoots him; Munson kills Davis.
“In the Shadow of Greatness” beat sheet
Act 1:
INT. COURTROOM — DAY
Opening: Olivia is introduced in court as a psychiatrist who has written a theoretical book about hypnotherapy. She testifies that the defendant was hypnotically induced by Fox TV to attack the Capitol. The judge gives accolades to the power of her testimony.
INT. OLIVIA’S APARTMENT — NIGHT
In private, she hires a sex partner for her physical needs in order to avoid emotional attachment to anyone. It is the only relationship she can control; because she pays for it. But her male prostitute proves her wrong; he ties her to the bed before he leaves, taking all her money.
INT. OLIVIA’S OFFICE- DAY
Inciting Incident: Secret Service Agent Bryan Bowen tells Olivia the First Lady has been murdered. He hires Olivia to analyze the claimants.
INT. POLICE FACILITY — NIGHT
Olivia helps Bowen determine that none of the people confessing did the killing. Bowen admires the hypnotic power she has over the claimants.
INT. OLIVIA’S APARTMENT — MORNING
Turning Point: Olivia gets a call from Will, her one-time lover and the President’s Chief-of-Staff; he asks her to come to the White House.
Act 2:
EXT./INT. WHITE HOUSE — DAY
New plan: Olivia is overwhelmed by the White House. Davis asks her to treat the President. He tells her she will have the power to do anything she deems necessary. Davis hires Olivia, knowing he has power over her, to prove that Munson is a rapist and a murderer, hoping to replace him next election cycle.
INT. MUNSON’S ROOMS — DAY
Olivia begins cautiously; using conventional therapy on Munson. He overwhelms her with his sense of power.
INT. EAST WING — EVENING
Olivia emerges from her first sessions with Munson shaken. Davis gives her a brief rundown of procedures and a tour of the area she’s allowed.
INT. DAVIS’S APARTMENT — NIGHT
Davis takes advantage of his history with Olivia to lure her into his bed. Olivia falls back into her old love affair with Davis. He has enough residual power over her to convince her to stay.
INT. MUNSON’S ROOMS — EVENING
Plan in action: The President blames himself for his wife’s murder. He confesses he was drunk and drugged, he suspected she was having an affair, he entered her apartment and found her tied to the bed. The next thing he knew, the knife was in his hand. He says he must have been powerless in the grip of emotion.
INT. EAST WING — DAY
Midpoint Turning Point: When Bowen confronts Olivia with video both of her failures with Munson and her affair with Davis, Olivia goes to Munson’s quarters to resign. She feels powerless.
INT. MUNSON’S ROOMS — DAY
Munson begs her to stay, giving her power over him. But she succumbs to his need and sleeps with him, exactly what he wanted. He now enjoys the power he has over her.
INT. MUNSON’S ROOMS — NIGHT
Davis continues his plot to subconsciously force Munson into a confession, but Olivia hears the recording. In the early hours, she wakes up hearing a voice. She searches for it, but it stops.
Act 3:
INT. EAST WING —DAY
Rethink everything: Olivia decides Bowen is wire-tapping her sessions with Munson and speaks to Munson.
INT. BOWEN’S CONTROL ROOM — DAY
Munson demands Bowen shut down the surveillance. They battle for power. Bowen grudgingly removes the bugs but secretly leaves one camera and one mic.
INT. MUNSON’S ROOMS — EVENING
New plan: Olivia begins hypnotherapy on Munson. She believes it gives her power over him.
INT. MUNSON’S ROOMS — NIGHT
Olivia awakens again, hearing voices.
INT. DAVIS’S APARTMENT — DAY
Olivia goes to Davis to tell him about the voice. Bowen has sent Davis a video of Olivia and Munson in bed. Bowen and Davis lock horns; Bowen fires Olivia.
INT. OVAL OFFICE — DAY
Davis castigates Bowen and demands he rehire Olivia. It’s a power play between them. Davis poisons Munson’s mind about Bowen. When Munson finds out, he goes ballistic; Bowen rehires Olivia.
INT. MUNSON’S ROOMS — EVENING
During a hypnotherapy session, Munson vaguely suggests he raped a woman while in college. Even then he felt power over others, a need that has yet to be satiated.
INT. MUNSON’S ROOMS — NIGHT
Turning Point: Olivia awakens, again hearing voices. This time, she’s sure she heard “You killed… the First Lady.” When she begins searching for the source, the voice cuts out again. She decides it’s real; she’s not hallucinating.
Act 4:
INT. INT. MUNSON’S ROOMS — DAY
Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict: Olivia enlists Davis’s aid in finding the bug. They take the power into their own hands, over Bowen’s objections.
INT. MUNSON’S ROOMS — DAY
Bowen arrives in Munson’s room. Olivia and Davis confront him with the two bugs he left and the recorder that played the voice. Bowen admits to the Secret Service bugs but confiscates the recorder along with them, denying anything to do with it. When Davis tries to get the recorder back, Bowen’s men violently stop him.
INT. OVAL OFFICE — DAY
Davis tells Munson about the bugs and blames Bowen.
INT. OVAL OFFICE — DAY
Munson explodes at Bowen during a cabinet meeting and fires him. Bowen argues that Munson doesn’t have the power; but Munson forces him out of the White House.
INT. CONFERENCE ROOM — DAY
Davis hints about the 25th Amendment. His power in the cabinet grows.
INT. BOWEN’S OFFICE IN TREASURY DEPARTMENT— DAY
Bowen listens to the recording that played in Munson’s office. He asks Olivia to meet him at the Jefferson Memorial.
INT. MUNSON’S ROOMS — EVENING
Olivia makes an excuse to Munson that she cannot stay the night. He insists she remain, and she does until the sleeping pill has its usual effect; then she slips out of the WH.
INT. JEFFERSON MEMORIAL — NIGHT
Olivia asks Bowen what Munson’s movements were the night of the First Lady’s murder. He tells her about how Jefferson exceeded his authority to make the Louisiana Purchase, and how presidents ever since have been abusing power. He tells her to get out before the lust for power overcomes her; she won’t be able to compete in this game. Bowen lies to her about Munson’s affair, knowing they are being watched, but slips a note into her hand during an awkward handshake.
INT. DAVIS’S APARTMENT — NIGHT
The note asks her to get a recording of Davis’s voice, whispering. Davis reveals to Olivia that he watched Munson rape a coed behind a dumpster after a college party. He suspects that Munson murdered the girl when he first ran for the Senate, because she was blackmailing her. He lists women who Munson slept with and may have killed. Olivia makes love to Davis, then, while telling him Munson may be psychotic, gets him to whisper the words she and Bowen heard on the recording “You killed them. You killed the First Lady”. She secretly records his voice.
INT. BOWEN’S OFFICE IN TREASURY DEPARTMENT — DAY
Olivia takes her recording to Bowen.
EXT. NATIONAL MALL — DAY
Olivia walks to the White House. She finds herself in front of Trump Hotel. When she reaches the WH, she goes to Munson’s rooms in the East Wing.
INT. BOWEN’S OFFICE IN TREASURY DEPARTMENT — EVENING
Bowen matches the recording of Davis to the voice in the night. He heads for the White House and calls Olivia.
INT. MUNSON’S ROOMS — EVENING
Olivia goes to Munson’s room to warn him, but Davis is there already. The call from Bowen comes in, and Olivia exposes Davis as the voice on the recorder. Davis reveals that Munson is a rapist and murderer, but Munson says he didn’t kill his wife. Davis surreptitiously latches the door.
EXT. STREETS OF WASHINGTON, D.C. — EVENING
Bowen tears across town to the White House and smashes his car through the gate. WH security arrest him and bring him inside, where he escapes them.
INT. BOWEN’S CONTROL ROOM — EVENING
Pursued into the West Wing, he demands to know where Davis was last seen. The Secret Service take him to the control room — cameras show Davis entering Munson’s Rooms.
INT. MUNSON’S ROOMS — EVENING
Davis admits he killed the First Lady when he realized Munson was planning to push her for the next presidential ticket instead of Davis. Munson tells them he would never have backed Davis as a presidential candidate. Davis vituperatively tells Munson how he cuckolded him with the First Lady repeatedly. Munson goes berserk; Davis shoots him but Munson kills him with a (weapon?). Munson begs Olivia to back him up, but Bowen arrives with his men to break in the door. Munson orders him to leave. Olivia says she will have to tell the world about his crimes. Munson attacks her, but she stabs him with the (weapon?) as he strangles her. Bowen and his men break the door down just in time to see Olivia fall, sobbing, and Munson crash to the floor with the (weapon?) in his neck. Olivia has beaten the most powerful men in the world.
INT. COURTROOM — DAY
Resolution: Olivia admits guilt, but in self-defense. Bowen’s testimony is useless to her, since all the cameras and wiretaps were removed and he is restrained by protocol. The jury convicts Olivia of murdering Munson. She declares she would do it again, given the power.
Olivia’s life is in ruins, but she accepts her sentence bravely. She knows she did the right thing, and that gives her the power to face her fate.
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Daniela Beat Sheet Draft 2
I learned I needed to include a sidekick for the antagonist and make all of it more quircky
Opening: Michael is at a cattle auction, his cows win the grand price, he drinks a LOT
INT. LIVESTOCK AUCTION/STABLES. DAY
Michael talks to his cows, tells them its show time. Michael is looking impatiently while judges pass through his cows inspecting them.
EXT. LIVESTOCK AUCTION. DAY
Michael paces nervously. We can see signs that say “Murderers” on the entrance. Michael scoffs.
INT. LIVESTOCK AUCTION/PRICE ROOM. DAY
The runner up is announced, people celebrate. Michael wins the grand price for the best cow. Michael celebrates alone, hugs the judge.
INT. LIVESTOCK AUCTION/SHOWROOM. NIGHT
Michael is drinking. Cowboys are bidding for Michael’s cows. Leo, a restaurant owner, outbids everyone. Michael’s cows go for a large sum of money. He celebrates.
Inciting Incident: While drunk, Michael gables his estate and loses.
INT. LIVESTOCK AUCTION. NIGHT
Michael is gambling with Leo. He puts the keys to his ranch on the table. Leo wins.
Turning Point: The new owner of his estate comes to collect and offer him a deal. If he can infiltrate a vegan commune that keeps holding animal rights protests and figure out where they get their money, he will get his estate back. Michael agrees. He arrives the next day in vegan cosplay.
INT. MICHAEL’S BEDROOM. DAY
Michael wakes up drunk to the sound of someone banging on the door.
EXT. MICHAEL’S HOUSE. DAY
Leo comes to collect. Michael begs, tells Leo his ranch is all he has. Then he offers some ideas, but Leo has something else in mind. Tells Leo a group of animal activists keep coming to his restaurants to deter costumers from going inside. If Michael can figure out how they finance themselves, he will have his ranch back. Michael agrees.
Reaction: He shows up at the vegan commune. Tries to get insight about the financing of the place. Nobody really looks at him. Gets shut down.
INT. MICHAEL’S OFFICE. DAY
Michael goes online to look for the animal group. Sees them throwing blood at a restaurant. Freak out. Calls Leo, offers him more options. Leo says no.
EXT. VEGAN COMMUNE. DAY
Michael goes in costume to the vegan commune. When he gets there, Ronan asks him if he is there for the protest, Michael says yes. He is given a sign and pushed into a bus. There is a goat on the bus.
INT. BUS. DAY
Michael meets Violet. She is the group leader, and is telling everyone about the plan. They are going to Leo’s restaurant and making graffiti.
EXT. LEO’S RESTAURANT. DAY
The bus parks on the curbside, everyone comes out wearing a mask. Michael gets out and sees Violet spray paint “Murder” on the sidewalk. A siren is heard, Michael is pushed inside the bus.
INT. VEGAN COMMUNE/LIVING HALL/ NIGHT
People get of f the bus and into a hall. Everyone is celebrating. Michael tries to get close to Violet, she laughs at him for freezing during the protest. Tells him he will get better at it soon. Michael Ronan if there is a place, gets shown some hammocks.
Turning Point 2: He tries to pretend to be an animal rights activist and vegan and connect with Violet, the leader. She doesn’t give him the light of day.
EXT. COMUNAL SHOWERS. DAY
Michael wakes up to a goat trying to eat his hair. Notices Violet walking towards the showers. Takes of his shirt and walks inside.
INT. COMUNAL SHOWERS. DAY
Violet looks at Michael coming in shirtless and keeps going.
EXT. COMMUNE’S KITCHEN. DAY
Michael tries to cook with the vegetables available. Violet walks in and laughs. Tells him to move, and starts cooking.
EXT. VEGAN COMMUNE/LIVING HALL/ NIGHT
Michael starts talking about the moon and stars. Violet comes in and tells him he has it all wrong, points to the correct planets.
New Plan: He actually tries to connect with people. Offers help with animals. Actually tries to fit in. Gives them good ideas. Violet notices him and they start working together.
INT. VEGAN COMMUNE/LIVING HALL/ DAY
Michael asks Ronan about the goat he has seen running around, gets told they have a stable.
INT. STABLE. DAY
Michael walks into the stable. The place is a mess, there are animals and poop everywhere. He offers to help, Ronan leaves him alone after laughing.
INT. STABLE. NIGHT
Violet walks into the stable. All the poop is gone and the animals are sorted. She asks Michael how he did it. He tells her he grew up on a ranch and is good with animals. Violet explains the animals are her rescue project, but she has no idea how to care for them. Michael offers to help, tells her he isn’t going anywhere.
INT. VEGAN COMMUNE/LIVING HALL/ DAY
Violet sits next to Michael at breakfast, asks him about the animals. He tells her he needs some supplies. She tells him to make a list.
INT. STABLE. NIGHT
Violet comes in with the supplies Michael asks. He tells her its a lot, he would have helped. She says not to worry about money. She explains she became a vegan after her dad kept killing her “pets” who she explains were her only friends. Michael says to this day animals are his only friends. Violet tells him he has a new friend now.
New Insights: Michael and Violet get intimate. Michael learns how they make money. Also, he learns the guy that has his farm is Violet’s dad.
INT. STABLES DAY
Violet asks Michael to follow her.
EXT. GREENHOUSE. DAY
Violet shows Michael the weed plantation, explains that’s how they survive. Michael asks why she is showing him this, she tells him friends share secrets.
INT. STABLES. NIGHT
Michael is talking with the goat. Tells it he is conflicted, he has to take care of his friends, but also likes this place so much. Violet walks in and asks why is he talking to a goat. Michael says he some things to do back home. Violet kisses him, tells him he will be missed. They have sex.
INT. STABLES. DAY
Michael tells Violet she has too many enemies, she should look for safer business endeavors, like a mini zoo and cooking classes. Violet laughs with the ideas, tells him he could stay and help her with it. He starts to doubt leaving.
EXT. COMMUNE. DAY
Michael and Violet walk around the commune, he tells her the ideas he has for the place. She takes notes. They talk about their childhoods and bond over the fact that they have no family. She says that’s why she built hers, he says that’s why he avoids having one. Violet tells him its too bad, he already made a family.
Turning Point 3: The guy that has his estate comes to collect information. Threatens Michael. Violet sees the interchange. Michael confesses, gets kicked out of the commune.
INT. STABLES. DAY
Michael calls Leo, tells him he can’t do it, he won’t. Leo tells him they need to meet in person, Michael tells him he can do it at the next protest. Violet overhears.
EXT. VEGAN COMMUNE. DAY
People are getting into a bus to the protest. Michael is very prepared this time. Violet tells him he doesn’t need to go. He says he is excited to go.
EXT. LEO’S RESTAURANT DAY
Michael sneaks off in the protest to talk to Leo. Violet follows him. Leo gives Michael an ultimatum.
INT. STABLES. DAY
Violet confronts Michael. She tells him Leo is her dad. Michael tells her the truth. Violet kicks him out of the commune.
Climax: Michael refuses to give information, loses his ranch.
INT. MICHAEL’S BEDROOM. DAY
Michael is lying down. Leo pounds the door.
INT. STABLES. DAY
Ronan comes and asks for Michael. Violet tells him what happened. Ronan tells her to run back for Michael, he knows too much, enough to ruin them.
EXT. MICHAEL’S HOUSE. DAY
Leo demands Michael give him information. Michael refuses. Violet comes running to Michael’s place, sees the entire interaction. Michael asks Leo some time to collect his things.
Resolution: Violet hears what Michael did, runs to find him. Welcomes him back to the commune
INT. MICHAEL’S STABLES. DAY
Violet comes in and sees the cows, starts freeing them. Michael walks in, tells her those are Leo’s cows now. She tells him the zoo is not complete without them, and could also use a rancher to take care of them.
EXT. MICHAEL’S STABLES. DAY
Violet and Michael make a run with the animals.
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Lori’s Beat Sheet Draft 2
What I learned from today’s assignment is to make sure to interweave the theme and the antagonist into the beats.
Act 1:
EXT. QUANT SMALL TOWN AT CHRISTMAS TIME – DAY
Opening – Introduce the main characters as a small town prepares for Christmas. <div>
Pastor Thomas seems distraught.
Thomas’ friend, John, knows Thomas’ struggles but doesn’t know how to help him.
Theme: Thomas is having trouble writing about hope. (How can we have hope in a dark world?)
Antagonist/change agent, Miriam, is busy baking her Christmas pies.
INT. /EXT. PASTOR THOMAS’ OFFICE – DAY
Inciting Incident – The phone rings. A member of the church dies in an accident. </div><div>
Through the window of his office, Thomas sees a happy couple. Then a mysterious man gets his attention. The man seems to upset him. Thomas’ friend, John, is present.
Theme: The mysterious man represents darkness.
INT. HOSPITAL – DAY
Turning Point – Thomas says that death has won again and is unable to comfort a grieving family. </div><div>
Theme: How can we go on after the death of a loved one? Who can comfort us?
Antagonist Miriam steps in to comfort the family and seems agitated with Thomas.
Act 2:
INT./EXT. THOMAS’ HOUSE
A small group gathers in Thomas’ home to help him decorate his tree and mantle for Christmas. </div><div>
Once everyone leaves, Thomas removes all the decorations and shoves the decorated tree into a coat closet.
Theme: How can he go on after the death of a loved one.
Antagonist Miriam comes back to Thomas’ house with her yearly traditional pie gift, and Thomas refuses to accept it, which upsets her. They argue.
Antagonist Miriam and Thomas have a heart to heart, but Thomas isn’t honest with her. Thomas prays when he hears a siren in the distance.
Theme: looking for hope in a dark world.
INT./EXT. STORE
New plan – He will make sure one impoverished family has a perfect Christmas even though he won’t be. So he shops for food for a Christmas feast and toys for their children. </div><div>
Theme: when putting gifts into his car, he finds a hairpin that belonged to his wife. How can he go on?
Thomas tries to avoid antagonists at the store. She spots him and questions what he’s doing.
Act 3:
EXT. FAMILY’S HOME
Plan in action – He crosses boundaries and is asked to stop helping. The father of the impoverished family is embarrassed and wants to provide for his own family.
INT. /EXT. CHURCH – DAY
Thomas’ misplaced anger hurts his friends. </div><div>
Antagonist Miriam continues back and forth, challenging his decisions and motives.
Midpoint Turning Point – Thomas spirals downward into depression and isolates himself.
Theme: How can he go on and where to find hope? Rethink everything – He can’t go on this way.
New plan – He will try to pretend that everything is okay.
Theme: how can we have hope in a dark world?
Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift – Pretending nearly destroys him. Christmas seems to be falling apart.
The antagonist, Miriam, is a good example of what Thomas’ future might look like. She was able to move on. Maybe he can too.
Thomas’ friend John suffers with him as things at the church go awry.
Act 4:
INT. THOMAS’ HOME – NIGHT
Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict – Thomas is brought to the end of himself and pleads with God. He is honest with his friends about his feelings. </div><div>
Theme: Thomas prays and picks up his bible. He stares at the notepad with only the sermon’s title, The Hope of Christmas.
John awakens still in his chair. The sermon is beside him and finished.
The Christmas decorations and tree are back in place.
Theme: Thomas can move on and have hope again.
INT. CHURCH – DAY
Resolution – Hope is restored by Christmas day when Thomas gives a sermon about the hope of Christmas(theme). Thomas makes peace with John and Miriam.
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