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Post Day 8 Assignment Here
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DAY 8 WILLIAM BEASLEY TOPPER OUTLINE
WHAT I LEARNED FROM THIS ASSIGNMENT IS HOW TO BRAINSTORM TO COME UP WITH TOPPERS.
SETTUP SNACK AREA
FUNNY MOMENT – HUSBAND SETS UP NEATLY .
PUNCHLINE – LIKE FELIX UNGER.
FUNNY MOMENT – HUSBAND GETS MESSY
PUNCHLINE -NO, LIKE OSCAR MADISON.
TOPPER – YOU’RE YOUR OWN ODD COUPLE.
DINNER PLANS
FUNNY MOMENT – DID YOU GET DINNER?
PUNCHLINE – I GOT MINE.
FUNNY MOMENT – I’LL SHARE YOURS.
PUNCHLINE – JUST ENOUGH FOR ONE.
TOPPER – ONE ARMY.
TURNING ON TV
FUNNY MOMENT – SEEN REMOTE?
PUNCHLINE – YOU DO SOMETIMES.
FUNNY MOMENT – CAN FIND BUTTON TO TURN ON.
PUNCHLINE – WHAT ELSE IS NEW?
TOPPER – YOU ALWAYS HAVE TROUBLE TURNING THINGS ON.
FLIRTING
FUNNY MOMENT – WHY DON’T WE . . .
PUNCHLINE – DIDN’T WE LAST NIGHT?
FUNNY MOMENT – NEED TIME TO RECUPERATE
PUNCHLINE – NOT FROM WHAT I’M FEELING.
TOPPER – UP IN A FEW HOURS? YOUR UP NOW.
DUMB QUESTIONS
FUNNY MOMENT – BASEBALL HAS BASES.
PUNCHLINE – AND FOOTBALL HAS FOOTS?
FUNNY MOMENT – FOOTBALL HAS YARDS.
PUNCHLINE – AREN’T YARDS MADE OF FEET?
TOPPER – SO WHO’S ON FIRST DOWN?
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Day 8 – Larry’s Topper Outline
What I learned from this is assignment is how to take a basic funny situation and extend it with toppers. I also saw how running gags can be spotted throughout a scene to add humourous touches.
I broke down my scene into four parts: an introduction; a trail segment and a bear encounter (at the bare minimum) and a conclusion.
In the introduction I developed an Incompatible Couple of a he-man guy (Jack) teamed up with an overtly gay guy (Billy) on a forced corporate bond-building hike exercise through the Adirondack mountains where they get lost. This leads to friction and competition as each does not like the other particularly well and wants to prove he is superior over the other. They will also meet some interesting characters along the way.
In the introduction they are dressed in very different clothing (the he-man in rugged outdoors wear and the gay in frilly clothing – good sight gag and differentiating the characters) and bickering as to who was responsible for getting themselves lost. Jack asks for a snack but Billy has eaten them all along the way. Still working on this part.
In the second segment, along the trail, it is revealed Billy has Boy Scout badges in pottery, cooking and leatherwork. This leads to a gag with Martha Stewart popping out of the bush offering a “trail mix” recipe. I turned this into a running gag as she will pop up later in the bear scene. She works well as an incongruity.
On the trail I have Jack smack his head killing a mosquito leaving a blood red spot on his forehead. Then they meet a person from the opposite direction who, seeing the red spot, says “namaste.” Jack replies, “Have a nice day.” I saw this as an opportunity to expand this.
Both Jack and Billy kill mosquitoes on their foreheads leaving red spots. They meet a man coming from the opposite direction who looks like Mahatma Ghandi, carrying a satchel. (Another incongruity.) They do the namaste greeting. Billy mistakes the man as a guru and asks for “wise words”.
I brainstormed on this coming up with:
– A Buddha quote
– Do or do not from Star Wars
– old sayings: a stitch in time saves nine, etc.
– A punchline with a reversal
The trick will be to organize them for maximum comedic effect.
In the bear scene, it starts off the boys walking into a clearing with a black bear on the other side. They freeze and try to remember as to what to do. And they do everything wrong in terms of what should be done. Initially Jack exclaims, “Shit!” and Billy responds, “Just did. Do I have the toilet paper or do you?” I can rework this into a running gag where Billy figures that if they are downwind the bear will definitely smell them and he will have another accident later.
When Jack suggests Billy could use his cooking skills to “whup” up a honey cake for the bear Martha Stewart pops up again with another recipe.
Then Jack remembers to play dead and falls down. I see potential for a topper scene as each tries to outdo the other in “dying.”
Finally the bear charges. Billy has another accident in his pants. He then trips over his knapsack and knocks himself out, effectively now “dead.” The bear runs over Billy and Jack runs up a tree. Martha Stewart shows up with advice – and has none.
In the conclusion, park rangers come to the rescue. They found the boys by following the food wrappers.
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Christy Waites’ Topper Outline
Boy, I hope I did this right. I understand it. The sample scene from There’s Something About Mary is only the first of the two top scenes that everyone remembers, so I understand the comedy setup of running gag with a Topper, I just hope I’m doing it correctly in my scene.
Again, I pulled a scene from my current script. This scene I’ve had to add when I was writing the second outline because it wasn’t in the first, so I haven’t thought much of it. I’ve been thinking I’ll work it when I reach it in the draft. But I realize it’s a great place for a good running gag since it’s a montage of three scenes that repeat (mechanically with obvious passing of time) to show the protagonist finally finding something he could do that he is innately good at instead of beating himself up trying something he should have never tried in the first place, and finding true friends in the process.
I did punchlines with Toppers to my other setups before I decided on this one because they stopped being funny and felt forced. This one really is my favorite, although there is one about marbles and allowances that I do like and I will save it for another script.
I just hope I posted the assignment itself correctly. Oh, well, this too will come out in the wash.
Setup:
Lord McThorn: “I took the boys to a bare-knuckle fight.”
Punchline from Topper to least favorite:
The Topper:
“We were so close, we could actually see their balls!”
“We could see the whites of their knuckles!”
“We could feel the fibers of oily wet hair whipping out from their heads!”
“Yeah, we were so close, we could smell the sweat coming from their eyes!”
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DAY 8 darryl brant Toppers Outline
I’m not sure if I did this exercise correctly but it did get me thinking about how to make the scene funnier so I guess that’s the point.
What I learned from this exercise is that scenes are more memorable when there are more laughs and that each successive joke should be funnier than the last. I also learned that running gags can provide some sort of continuity for your script.
Outline (from Day7): Paulie arrives uninvited to the wedding of his ex-girlfriend, Claire, who is marrying a man twice her age, Rodney and who is also her teacher. At first, Paulie and Rodney are cordial, almost friendly. But when Paulie catches sight of Claire prior to the ceremony, he realizes he still loves her. In an attempt to sabotage the wedding, Paulie’s actions start from subtle by performing with the band and singing songs about the considerable age difference to rearranging the letters of their backdrop to changing Claire and Rodney’s wedding vows to making out with Rodney’s mother to finally standing up and vehemently opposing the union by inappropriately and explicitly retelling the sordid details of Paulie and Claire’s past relationship to all those in attendance embarrassing everyone while reinforcing Claire and Rodney’s marriage.
The scenes below are numbered in sequence from somewhat amusing to funniest. Admittedly I haven’t thought of dialogue yet because it feels a bit forced at this point.
2. Paulie steals the mic from the band and quietly sings ‘Hot for Teacher’ by Van Halen, topped by ‘Father Figure’ by George Michael, then topped by Gary Glitter. Could be running gag starting with ‘Don’t Stop so close to me’ by The Police to the more obvious ‘Jailbait’ by Aerosmith but maybe ending with R. Kelly ‘I Believe I Can Fly’ instead of Gary Glitter – running gag that gets topped by each successive song – singing the songs is both a metaphor for the relationship and an exaggeration.
5. When asked if anyone opposes the union, Paulie stands up and declares his love then Paulie reveals sordid details of their past sex life – each story tops the previous in terms of outlandishness and depravity. Paulie could insult either the bride or groom here.
3. Paulie flirts with Rodney’s daughter out who is the same age as the bride but he doesn’t get the reaction he wanted so he moves onto the mother of Rodney – starts with sitting next to her, then close talking, then making out, then going down on her – parody
4. Paulie quickly becomes ordained online and officiates the wedding -montage starting with finding the website, paying the fee, scrolling the text, printing the certificate, finding a collar and then taking the stage. This would involve incapacitating the current minister and then switching the vows which he previously wrote but eventually the minister comes to
1. Paulie writes ‘vows’ for both Rodney and Claire – the vows start from normal but slowly change to reveal deep insecurities. The vows could include insults and renaming.
Running Gag – rearranges the letters in the CLAIRE/RODNEY wedding sign to read CYLINDER AERO -then throws some of the rearranged letters away but it keeps changing to A NOEL CRYER TO COLD REAR TO OLD LIAR – Running Gag
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Ron Basci Topper Outline! Session 8
What I learned is that changing direction, and reordering set ups and possible responses steer the writing to improved results.
The Funny Moments and Outline are from the previous lesson.
Funny Moments:
Billy’s reaction to possible date
Location: Amusement Park, evening
Separate arrivals: Billy arrives first
Waiting for Jenny
First Looks
Conversation
Misunderstanding
Wildly Inappropriate Response(s)
Outline:
Billy resists blind date, gives in.
Arrives on time at amusement park ferris wheel.
She’s not there. Wanders to beverage stand. Sits, has a beer.
Orders fries, another beer and another.
45 minutes later, Jenny arrives.
Their greetings, her clothing.
Billy trying to keep it together. Conversation about auras, jobs.
Billy loses control, spews his abdominal contents splattering her sneakers.
She studies the result, is genuinely impressed by his “creativity” and declares that this is a sure sign that they are made for each other.
Nonplussed by his action and her response, he replies: “So, yoga, huh?”
Additional For Assignment 8
Funny Moments
Billy’s responses to blind date suggestion: (will attempt to use all.) Disbelief, dismissal, annoyance, anger, violence, acceptance, eagerness, wariness, fear.
Date Location: Bob’s apartment, religious service, outdoor rock concert, grocery store, subway station, police station, amusement park.
Arrivals: Simultaneous, cancellation, force majeure prevents, Jenny no show, Jenny first, Billy no show, both no show, there but miss each other, Billy first.
Conversation with Jenny includes misunderstandings, wildly inappropriate responses: Bob, jobs, yoga, guppies, porno, pet rocks, Einstein, auras, beer, Kismet.
I have chosen two funny moments for this exercise: the final lines of Bob and Billy’s conversation, and that of Billy and Jenny.
Bob and Billy’s conversation:
Funny lines: Call her, Now!, Gimme that phone!, Is she for real? What are you waiting for?! Cleopatra lives! Ahummina hummina!, Great Googamooga!, I stand corrected.
Toppers: Her morals are high but her dating standards…you’ll do. , You never know, pick of the litter could fall for a runt like you. Is that a yes?
Scene:
While sharing a bag of cookies, Bob tries to persuade a very reluctant Billy to relax a little, go out on a date.
Billy: If I ever go out, I’ll get my own date, so bug off!
Bob: (opens his cell phone shows Billy a photo with Jenny) Hey, open your eyes, look!
Billy: Great Googamooga, Cleopatra lives!
Bob: Is that a yes?
Billy: Call her, Please!
Bob: Sure, sometimes pick of the litter will fall for the runt.
Billy and Jenny’s conversation:
A very intoxicated Billy has struggled through to this point.
Jenny: You’d be great in a porno.
Billy: I’d have to take my clothes off. Besides, my pasty white heinie would never work.
Jenny: Thanks a lot for that picture.
Billy suddenly spews flotsam and fries, a fair portion of which land on Jenny’s sneakers. She studies the result.
Billy: God, I’m so sorry…
Jenny: (looks up smiling) Fabulous colors! This marks the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Billy’s pants darken as his previous beers have also found a way out.
Jenny notices: It’s Kismet! Take me now!
Billy (confused looking at his pants): Huh? Where’s Kismet?
Jenny: In my arms, Einstein.
Billy: I love you.
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(Patricia Ruland’s) Topper Outline! (Day 8)
[Comedy 70] Day 8: Toppers, Running Gags and Belly Laughs
What I learned: Any bad joke is better than no joke at all. There are no small jokes, just small comedians.
My modest nature took on another persona—proving I am not above sinking very, very low. 😊
I don’t believe I followed the format exactly, and I think I combined assignments, the punchline one with this one.
This is what I came up with, so far:
ASSIGNMENT
———-Write a “scene outline” that will be used for the next three assignments.
1. Select a comic situation that can yield a lot of funny moments.
Important: You want a situation that is ripe for comedy.
Brainstorm a bunch of ideas and then select the best one.– Forced union of incompatibles
2. Create or select at least two characters with comedy loglines.
3. Brainstorm a list of possible funny moments that are connected
with the heart of the comic situation.4. Show us your selections in this format:
Comedy situation:
“Beswitched”
Frackenstein’s monster, MONTY, is switched at birth. The series tracks how he acclimates to Suburbia and disavows his superpowers to win the heart of the very mortal Angelica.
Comedy Characters and their loglines:Monty, Angelica, Lurch, et al
Logline for Beswitched:
Frackenstein’s monster is switched at birth. Can Little Monty find a new life in Suburbia?
Character: Little Monty, short for Monster, Dr. Frankenstein’s monster
Possible funny moments:
Monty narrates his struggles and triumphs, and he verbally identifies each milestone.
Milestones, such as school project, first date, first child with Angelica, and so forth..
SCENE OUTLINE:BIRTH
“You’re not from around here, are you?”
Nurses take him to trash compactor room.
Kind woman takes to him and takes him home.
CHILDHOOD
Mom coos as she feeds her new baby. He spits peas out all over the place.
Mom: “Peas look good on you. They go with your complexion.”
Monty spits peas all over mom
“Green’s not my color.”
Monty spits carrots all over mom.
“Orange is sure not my color.”
Monty, in baby voice: “No worries. Barf looks good on you!”
Monty watches Sesame Street. Performs duet with Kermit, “It Ain’t Easy Being Green.”
SCHOOL DAYS
Monty’s new mom tries to wake him up for school. He is grouchy.
“Now who’s slept on the wrong side of the coffin?” she asks. “Time to get up.”
Money stretches.
“The moon’s out and the bats are winging.”
Aunt Morticia pops her head in the window, and says: “That’s my line.”
Monty and Morticia break into a song-and-dance number to the song, “Oh, What a Beautiful Morning.”
SCIENCE FAIR AT SCHOOL
Judge asks: “What’s your project, Son?”
“I am my project.”
[I got nothin’—more here.]
WORKING ODD JOBS TO GET THROUGH COLLEGE
–Job: Pool Guy
Camera pans length of form showing sleek, shiny from sweat, ripped body.
Face sticks out like a sore thumb.
One woman at the pool party recoils in horror.
”It’s the Swamp Thing.”
Another woman lusts after him.
“Wanna see my Bat Cave, Robin?” she flirts.
Monty looks interested.
“Wanna tour my Inner Sanctum?”
Monty looks very interested.
“Wanna probe my depths?”
“Wanna see my snorkel?” Monty answers.
Woman looks very interested.
“My long, slippery, flexible . . . durable . . . snorkel?”
Woman looks very, very interested.
“Wanna see . . . the Full Monty?”
–Job: Model, Romance Novel Covers
Cover depicts Monty as buff from the neck down and horrific looking from the neck up. Comedy derives from visual incongruity.
Title of book: Big Monster Love. Cover shows torrid bedroom scene. Book subtitle in bubble of dialogue by wife: “No reason to be jealous, dude. It’s not what you think.”
Woman’s thought bubble: “Once you go Monster, you never go back.”
<s>Press release regarding subsequent buzz: “Green is the new black.”</s>
DATING
Angelica brings Monty home for dinner to meet the parents.
Mom: “Tall, green, and handsome?”
Angelica: “Two outta three ain’t bad.”
Dad: “Dating the color of money, alright.”
[underwhelming]
COLLEGE
Monty gets into UT-Austin. He plays for the UT longhorns, but dresses out in in “burnt green.”
Coach: “So, who’s the greenhorn?”
[half-baked]
PHYSICAL EXAM:
Monty: “Doctor, what’s wrong with me? I can’t seem to hold it together.”
Doctor: “You gotta screw loose.”
Doctor writes out a prescription for Woodson’s Hardware Store.
Doctor: “Parts department is in the back.”
Cut to Parts store. Monty buys a box of screws.
Cut to Oil and Lube shop.
Workers oil all of Monty’s joints. He yelps in pain.
Monty: “Have a heart!”
Worker: “I have none.”
Tin Man pops into scene:
“Hey, that’s my line.”
CHANCE MEETING WITH ANGELICA
Monty makes his way down a NY city street. A breathless Angelica overtakes him. She has found the lost screw.
Angelica: “Wanna screw?”
Monty: “ . . . again?”
Angelica: “Take me to your Man Cave.”
BEDROOM SCENE:
Angelica: “I love you, you big lug.” She takes out a wrench from under the bed.
Monty, playfully: “Give me that wrench.”
Angelica, playfully: “Give me that, wench?”
Monty: “I wanna screw—”
Angelica: “I wanna, I wanna yank – your chain.”
Monty: “Yeah, wanna screw?”
Angelica: “If you were a tire, I wouldn’t change a thing.”
Monty: “Yeah, you wanna screw now?”
Angelica: “Got a rubber?”
Monty: “Yeah, DO. YOU. WANT. TO. SCREW?”
Angelica slowly takes the wrench and slowly tightens the screw.
Monty: “Yeah, Tina Turner me, nice and easy.”
NEW YORK AUDITIONS, MONTAGE
Monty files into a casting room. He taps his phone and up comes his reel on the screen.
REEL:
Iconic dance scenes (incongruous visuals, hopefully comedic]
Do your best Travolta . . .
Disco—monster in white jumpsuit dancing.
Your best Gene Kelly . . .
Very fleet-footed Monty performing “Singin’ in the Rain.”
Your best Herman Munster.
Casting director: “You’re an un-natural.”
COLD READ, SCREEN TEST
Monty and Lurch face casting table.
Casting director: “It’s a buddy-buddy movie—just your regular guys, your garden variety undercover cops who secretly are monsters and who must gain the trust of the locals. Your job is to blend in.
The Mask character, Green Hornet, and Any Old Alien surround them.
“Green is the new orange,” they tell him.
Castin director points to a mock line-up of a motley crew of monsters.
Casting director: “Bad cop, your line.”
Monty: “Tough call. All you dirt bags look alike.”
Lurch: “Book ‘em, Mano, all of ‘em.”
Casting director: “I like it. Bad Cop, Bad Cop.”
YOGA SESSION:
After yoga session.
MONTY: “I feel like a new man.”
More yoga. Monty strikes a provocative pretzel pose, along with the teacher.
Teacher: “Munch me.”
Monty: “Crunch me.”
Angelica: “Snack my brains out.”
Monty: “That’s twisted.” Monty stops to snack. He smacks his lips.
Angelica: “I said smack MY brains out, you idiot!”
BIRTH OF FIRST CHILD:
Before delivery:
Angelica, in tears: “I said, I said, you fucking racist royal asshole parents of mine. The nerve of you–‘But what color will the baby be?’ “
Monty: “Try honey, not acid, next time.”
[need more here]
After the birth:
Monty and Angelica, push a baby stroller with their actually very cute mini-me version of Frankenstein’s monster inside.
Passerby: “Take after your mother, don’t you, little guy?”
Little Monty upchucks on the passerby.
Monty: “Hey, pinky, orangey, yellowy, gooey—that looks good on you!”
CAREER IN POLITICS
Moderator: “Thank you for tuning in to Candidates’ Forum.”
Meet Mr. Frank Jr., the Green Party nominee.
[HO-HUM]
SEARCH FOR REAL FATHER
At the laboratory.
Adoption counselor: “Meet your real father.”
Monty: “Dr. Frankenstein, I presume?”
[half-baked—no—just runny, raw-egg cookie dough here.]
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Eclipse Neilson Topper Outline!
I thought I had posted this but I can’t find it.What I’ve learn is to push the scene to a funnier level. Also I realized I had two scenes that I had collapsed into one because it was one event but one scene takes place outside. And so I have only included the inside scene for this assignment. I. found in this process one moment I am very proud of and tried it out and had lots of laughs. I was a little confused on what we were suppose to do but I hope this works.
COMEDY SITUATION: Radna and the girls go on a treasure hunt with their new dowsing pendulum crystals to find the hidden brass box filled with gold coins left by the ex-wife of the original owner George Wellworth. If they find the coins they will have enough money to make a down payment for the retirement home.
CHARACTER LOGLINES:
RADNA (80) a sophisticated free spirited hippie with a stern rebellious approach to life, has a flare for the supernatural and believes firmly everyone should want to be like her.
ANNE (97) wheelchair bound, hunched over, chin on her chest type of senior.She is a women of few words but when she speaks its to the point and has a bite to it.
SILVIA (78) eats when she is nervous – a bit of a fearful clown and the supernatural challenges her spiritual belief system though she tries to make nothing of it.
JEANIE (75) is gay has a Unitarian way of understanding the world but mostly keeps to herself.
TILDA (75) was raised a gypsy, talks too much, is a people pleaser and knows she needs to stand up for herself.
MARTHA once a successful business woman who never took a break, trusts no one and has little patience but now must simply be one of the gals.
OUTLINE OF FUNNY MOMENTS
Figure of speech: To Be Or Not to Be
The small group of women – the wanna be rebels, meet in the sitting room after bedtime. They are in their night gowns with their over coats. Martha walks in with a sexy negligee – a variety of comments and playful actions.
(Brainstorming for comments )
Oh la la to
Are you kidding me.
Where’s your boobs? * (one I will use)
There’s always one in the crowd.
They have flash lights
(Brainstorming)
They play blink, blink with them like children.
Tilda starts the rap sound pretending she is holding a mike as she blinks her light.
and beat boxes.
shaboom bee bop bob turns it into the song who put the bomp in the bomp bomp song
BRAINSTORM
Radna is at the head of the table getting a bit frustrated – taps her fingers and yells out
ok who smoked the dope? * (one I will use)
Ok ladies all aboard
Tilda jumps back begins a rap of who smoke the dope. Soon the other women pick it up. Who smoked the dope.
They all answer sarcastically with a “who me?” and dumb expression on their faces.
The only one who raises their hand to the question is Anne they suddenly look at her. Tilt their heads.
Long back and forth about why her hand is raised . And questions who senile and whose not type of back and forth funny situation. She at one point forgets why her hand is up but then remembers. They discover her hand is raised because she has answered Radna’s question letting them know she smoked dope earlier.
Radna tells them this is not working tells them to circle up for a real OM .Tells them to circle up They stand in line. Instead looking like the seven dwarfs. She rolls her eyes makes a comment. Draws in the air that this is a circe and that they are a line comment .
They start to Omm . Trying to be seriously sacred.
No one really gets into it-
Tilda yawns the yawn gets catchy between OMS soon everyone is yawning with half oms
Radna gives up -tells them “oh what the hell knowing they want to do the yum chant.
Starts the Yumm toning – soon it becomes a choir of yums in every possible form . The RUNNING GAGS
(NOTE: this yumm tone was started before in a few scenes before and is repeated.)
They sit down feeling good. Silvia pulls out of her bag a box of cookies.
Everyone takes one starts to munch- variety of dreamy faces- ahs oohs and a yum. Soon all start the 100 ways of saying yum. Tilda jumps up raising her cookie like the statue of liberty to start the yum tone – Martha quickly pulls her down. The rest of the women frown at her.
They continue to munch but quietly.
Radna looks at all of them suggest they might need help from the resident ghosts. Smiles and waits for a response.
Silvia chokes over her cookie. Grabs her water.
They look at each other -get what Radna has just said know she is not kidding and freak all at once. They gulp. Smile nervously. Some try not twitch. Anne smirks.
Silvia jumps up runs to the door to leave.
Tilda blocks the door spread eagle – not letting anyone escape. Silvia whines she has to pee! Crossing her legs.
Martha is checking the price of gold these days on her phone, announces it’s value as she gets up and walks over to Silvia – makes comment on possible investments, snaps it close and grabs the expensive china bowl on the sideboard hands it to Silvia . Raises a stern motherly eyebrow. Tell her she can use it . Silvia says never mind and goes sit back down. Grabs her water. Everyone says no and reminds her she has to pee and water will make it worse.
They get back to the ghost talk – Radna tells Silvia to consult her pendulum.
Silvia stands up – hand shakes from nerves. Martha and Jeanie hold her still –
Radna – ask the question about having ghost help.
The pendulum quickly responds with a big yes.
Silvia faints.
Anne ask if she wet her pants? while she swings her pendulum back and forth hypnotizing herself.
(Brainstorm responses.)
Tilda looks – nope
Not a drop
Oh my god!….. Just joking nope
Silvia comes to. They give her the water.
Radna tells everyone to take a bathroom break and meet out in the garden in five minutes.
Some of the women get up and rush to the bathroom. She yells after them
(Brainstorming) Figure of speech To pee or not pee
Let me remind you it is not a good idea to keep ghost waiting.
She turns to Martha ask her if she know what happens if you keep a ghost waiting too long
Martha shakes her head no as the walk out the door.
Radna turns and looks at her with a serious expression and ask
Did you know ghost don’t have to pee?
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Christy Waites’ Action Props
“What I’ve Learned…”
First, I changed my setup and punchline. The first one is a little too racy. Not that I’m a prude, I just felt I should change it. I think this one is still incongruent because Lady McThorn is a true lady and would not be seen in the areas of London where illegal gambling is being held, and I really doubt that the young urchins would be playing marbles to cheat grown men out of their hard earned money, nor would Lady McThorn even take boys from fine outstanding families to that area of London. So I went back through my brainstorming notes and am using another reason for this scene to be incongruent, and, therefore, funny.
I’m not big on slap stick, but have never truly given props their due. I already had props in this scene, so it made it easy to work them into the scene which makes the ruse overall longer and, hopefully, (hopefully) funnier.
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Lady McThorn saves the day by entering at the right moment carrying a tray of sandwiches. Behind her is the kitchen aide carrying glasses and a pitcher of sweet tea. The young boy puts his tray down and excuses himself, but Lady McThorn remains.
Lady McThorn
I took them to the city where they could play marbles in the back alleys to make their allowances go further.
Lady McThorn passes out the glasses.
Lord McThorn gaze becomes fierce, and the boys attempt to continue the excuse that Lady McThorn had started.
Boy One
Uh…yeah…and…uh…I won two pounds…a shilling…and a sparkling Cat’s Eye.
Boy Two
Well, I won…three pounds and a new Bumblebee!
Boy Three
That’s nothing. I…I won four pounds, and a Steely!
Calum
I didn’t win any money. I did get a Boulder, though. That’s good, right?
Lord McThorn sears each child’s soul with his piercing eyes.
Lord McThorn
I see trophies beside each of you. Why do you have trophies? Did they have competition going on in those back alleys?
<i style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Each boy stiffens, sitting straight in their seats, Tavis cheeks begin to turn red.
Lord McThorn
I’d like to see them, please.
The boys, especially Tavis, reluctantly place their trophy on the table. The team then stood up to move their chairs as far away from Tavis as they could as they stared at Lord McThorn.
Lady McThorn
Boys, eat your sandwiches before the fresh vegetables go spoil!
The boys did as they were told. They find a small plate and a napkin, and serve themselves a few small sandwiches, then return to their seat. They begin stuffing their mouths with the small finger food.
Lady Thorn strolls around the table filling glasses from the pitcher and they were happy to have the drink to help the sandwiches go down.
A moment or two went by while the boys ate, Lady McThorn proudly watches over her son, and steam began to escape from Lord McThorn shoulders.
Lord McThorn
What about those trophies and why is Travis’s bigger than the others?
Lady McThorn
Of course, it was a formal competition. Look at how they are dress? You think I’d take them anyplace that was not part of the up-in-up.
The children looked at each other suspiciously before they smiled, nodding their heads as they concur.
<b style=””>The Children
(together)
Oh, yeah, yeah, it was a competition of come sort. That’s what it was, yeah.
Lady McThorn
Ah, can’t you tell? Our son was the big winner!
McThorn face brightens as he makes a noise to show his true feelings.
Lord McThorn
O-auch! (beat) Of course! Me one, me only one, me own son won! How much money did you win, laddie?
Tavis
Oh, uh…not much, really…huh.
Lady McThorn
Oh, he’s just being modest. He won a fiver, and an entire collection of marbles.
Lord Thorn grabs the top of his head.
Lord McThorn
Did ja say a fiver? Me laddie! Me son! Me boy, your grandfather is pissing himself in his grave right now, he’s so proud.
The boys wear a half smile as they nervously divide their attention between the two adults.
Lord McThorn moves toward Tavis.
LORD MCTHORN
Let me have the trophy! I want to show everyone at the office!
Lady McThorn easily arranges herself between Tavis and his father but not before he grabs the top. She was able to grasp the bottom
Lady McThorn
Oh, it doesn’t have it’s plate.
She pulls on the trophy.
Lord McThorn
What?
He pulls it back.
Lady McThorn
Dear, you’ve never immediately received a trophy with your name on it, now have you?
She pulls on the trophy.
-
Margaret’s Topper Outline
What I learned: I am not a comedian. This is not my genre! Plugging along though…
COMEDY SITUATION:
Comedic surprise
Misinterpretation
Comedy character logline: An 80-year-old with Alzheimers who thinks she is sane.
Funny moments in sequence:
· An octogenarian emerges from the sink – a wannabe plumber
· It is easier for you to replace the whole strainer with a new one.
·
· C/o using the words “Screw” & “Nuts” on it fix-it video asking, “Can’t they make any video nowadays that isn’t R rated?”
·
· Comments after the video instructions, “Once the nuts are loose, take hold of the pipes and pull…” “You’re talking to an 80-year-old here! A little respect is in order”
·
· Comments after video instructions, “Unscrew the screw holding the drain to the top of the drainer and lift out the strainer unit.” “We don’t need to talk about screwing. I am a widow, you know.”
·
· After a con-man tries to get info from her by telling her she won a year of groceries she comments, “Go get my own groceries, soon as I finish fixing this sink. Buy me some nuts.”
-
Sherri D. Coffee – Toppers, running gags, and belly laughs
What I learned doing this assignment was to take one step at a time and brainstorm funny moments and sequence them.
Funny Moments:
Alex arrives at fundraiser in business suit while everyone else is formal.
Alex holds onto her cell phone like a security blanket. She meets people and uses the phrase, “I am new”.
Alex “I’m new” introduction is met with “Of course you are. Who do you know?”
Alex has trouble holding a glass of wine and her cell phone.
Alex cannot take food from the tray without putting the cell or the drink down. She places the drink down.
Marion introduces Alex to a few people and purposely leaves her alone to watch her. Marion observes her with a keen eye. “hopeless”
Marion watches as her mortal enemy lobbyist approaches Alex and strikes up a conversation. He tries to gather information. Marion comes to the rescue. “what did he ask? what did you say?”
Marion approaches Alex who is glued to her phone in the corner. She reminds her she is to talk to people. Alex is horrified. We are going to “relationship build” as she drags her to meet people.
End of evening. Marion says goodnight to Alex. She turns to another lobbyist. “what we will do to get a client”.
-
What I learned? Brainstorming is just a code word for let’s get funny. Big time.
Best moments:
Manipulating a male egotist to model women’s lingerie in his own bedroom.
A mocking narcissistic woman berating an egomaniac’s super fragile ego until he is at the point of a little girl’s tears.
Best punchlines:
Have you ever seen a bigger fool than this idiot? Forrest Gump was a genius next to this guy.
If he had the money, in only 20 years of therapy, this moron could advance to being a complete idiot. I sure hope I never meet his mother. She must be really screwed up.
Hey baby, stuff your bra with these grapefruits and put these lemons in your panties.
I just happen to have my 35-millimeter digital camera in my bag.
Work it, work it. Oh, yeah. These pics are definitely going viral.
People will be roaring at these pics all around the planet.
These will make me a fortune on social hate media. Isn’t technology great!
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