Post Day 8 Assignment Here

[David Penn]

David’s Show Mysteries

What I learned from this assignment is the value of having mysteries in both the pilot and throughout the series. Mysteries keep us wanting to know more, to watch more- constant tension which drives obsession.

ASSIGNMENT 1: RIVERDALE MYSTERIES

1. Who killed Jason?

2. What’s the motive?

3. Is Hiram Lodge behind this?

4. What exactly did Hiram do to go to jail?

5. Who framed Jughead’s dad?

6. What happened with Polly? Is she really pregnant?

7. Was there incest in Blossom family?

8. What secrets are the Blossom’s hiding?

ASSIGNMENT 2: FALL RUSH MYSTERIES

A. Shocking Event: Steve’s fired from school

B. Secret: Affair with student

C. Investigation: Dean investigates, help from other students

WWWWW and How: Steve and student./On-campus house/Night, when Emily’s away/serial womanizer/sex in a jacuzzi

Part Withheld: he was set up

2. Create the Over Time Mystery and tell us the WWWWW and H, along with the part withheld.

A. Cover up: Steve fired for having affair

B. Secret: Steve has some dirt on the dean

C. Reveals: Dean has shady business practices; mayor is involved (Emily works for him)

WWWWW and How: Dean/shady business partners/over time, funneling money/to care for sick wife/misappriates scholarships, donations

Part Withheld: Who are these partners? Why is the mayor involved? How deep does it go? Murder?

[Tracy Cheney]

<st1:city w:st=”on”><st1:place w:st=”on”>Tracy</st1:place></st1:city> LOST show mysteries – it’s what this entire show is built on, unraveling bit by bit, character by character. I learned through watching LOST that the writers loved a good mystery and used this model very effectively to keep us hooked. They used a mix of reality, the bizarre, and magical elements to keep us wondering.

1. Shocking events

The plane crash – how did it happen, or better yet, why?

Killing a polar bear on this tropical island

An unseen monster kills the pilot

Kate is a convict

Locke is healed of paralysis and need of a wheelchair

Sayid is captured by the woman who sent the SOS 16 years earlier

They are not alone on the island

2. Mysteries revealed over time thus far for the episode featuring Claire:

At this point, finding out Claire was warned by a psychic to protect her unborn child and not give it up for adoption

Why did the psychic give her 6K?

The psychic was so emphatic to make sure Claire got onto the doomed plane

On island, why did a mysterious stranger among the survivors try to kidnap Claire before she woke up and scared him off?

On island, Claire realizes the psychic knew of the plane crash in advance

Was he truly able to see her future, or was the psychic part of this mysterious group somehow?

El Pueblo

1. Shocking Event Mystery

This is where I’ve tried different openings, and am not sure where to begin the pilot. Currently, I start with the Investigation as the villagers decide whether to keep the two Americans or not. The events leading to their capture is told in flashbacks by witnesses. However, I’ve also written a version starting in <st1:state w:st=”on”>Hawaii</st1:state> where the attack on <st1:state w:st=”on”><st1:place w:st=”on”>California</st1:place></st1:state> was organized, and Joseph willingly joined the crew. In that case, the viewers would know Joseph is lying all along when he tells the villagers he was forced aboard. Another place I’ve begun the tale is when the citizens learn the attack is being organized against them from a friendly ship captain who saw what was happening in <st1:place w:st=”on”><st1:city w:st=”on”>Honolulu</st1:city></st1:place> and sailed ahead to warn them. They had a two-month headstart.

This 200-year-old story is based on the lies perpetuated by Joseph and his descendants. But the bigger mystery is why he and Thomas jumped ship in the first place. They never would leave <st1:state w:st=”on”><st1:place w:st=”on”>California</st1:place></st1:state>, but died there.

A. Shocking Event: the bombardment and burning of the state
capital <st1:city w:st=”on”><st1:place w:st=”on”>Monterey</st1:place></st1:city>
by the pirates <div>

B. Secret: The pirate attack was known two months in advance
and the soldiers and citizenry were prepared

C. Investigation: To prevent letting the two Americans stay in
El Pueblo, Lucas conducts a trial.

WWWWW and How:

who: Lucas

what: holds a public trial

where: in the plaza

when: after the faction, including Antonia, who support keeping the Americans, object to seeing them in chains leaving for the coast and the pirate ship

why: Lucas senses a rival in Joseph because Antonia — and the other girls — are drawn to him; he fears his biggest supporter, Antonia’s grandmother, is wavering

how: Lucas brings in eye witnesses to each barbaric act the pirates committed so all the villagers can hear from these Californios they know and trust.

Part Withheld: How – the details of how the Californios were
forewarned and prepared to fight and capture the pirates with primitive
equipment, no ship, and few soldiers

2. Over Time Mystery

A. Cover up: Thomas knows the truth about Joseph, but doesn’t
divulge it. He tells villagers they’d be killed by the captain for
deserting (Commodore Bouchard doesn’t know they have). Joseph and Thomas
claim they didn’t participate voluntarily, as they wrongfully believe they
conducted a surprise attack and there isn’t anyone to claim differently. </div><div>

B. Secret: Joseph and Thomas were bunkmates on the ship — did
they plot to jump ship in advance or was it a spur-of-the-moment decision
in jail. Did Thomas decide first?

C. Reveals: 1) Commodore Bouchard of <st1:country-region w:st=”on”>Argentina</st1:country-region>
recruits crew in <st1:state w:st=”on”>Hawaii</st1:state> for the attack on
<st1:state w:st=”on”><st1:place w:st=”on”>California</st1:place></st1:state>,
where Joseph signs up as ship’s carpenter. Other ship captains and King
Kamehameha settle their accounts with Joseph for repairs before he weighs
anchor from <st1:city w:st=”on”><st1:place w:st=”on”>Honolulu</st1:place></st1:city>.
There was no coercion involved with any of the open recruitment of sailors
or officers over the summer. 2) Life aboard ship for 5 weeks crossing to
CA reveals them practicing for the attack with guns and cannons. 3) Joseph
hears from a former fur trader joining Bouchard’s raid that
American and English ships stop to trade on the black market illegally in <st1:state w:st=”on”><st1:place w:st=”on”>California</st1:place></st1:state>. Does
Joseph plan to get back to <st1:city w:st=”on”><st1:place w:st=”on”>Boston</st1:place></st1:city>
that way?

WWWWW and How:

who: Thomas, the runaway slave

what: talks the other captured crew members into lying about what happened to him and Joseph when they are returned to Bouchard’s ship

where: in jail

when: while awaiting a firing squad

why: that’s the million dollar question

how: offers the sailors a reward of his and Joseph’s possessions in their cabin on the ship

Part Withheld: Why, as to their reason for jumping ship. Lying about their relationship with the captain is understandable given that Thomas and Joseph want to stay in El Pueblo. But why Yankee Joseph wants to stay in enemy territory is not revealed, but left to the viewer to decide. I can intersperse different versions of what his early life as an apprentice in the Boston shipyards might have been, a few scenarios as to how he came to be in Hawaii as he spins it differently each time he tells stories during the crossing…sort of like a choose your own explanation that keeps the viewer wondering as to what is the truth.

</div>

[Elizabeth Appell]

I learned how important mystery is. I recently had a revelation that I need to build in more characters, each hiding a mystery.

Binge Worthy Lesson 8 – Inviting Obsession: Mysteries

ASSIGNMENT 1:

Watch the next episode of your Example Show and focus on the mysteries that have been created in that show. Also, notice the difference between the big picture mysteries that are a big part of the plot across the entire season versus the smaller mysteries.

Tell us about the mysteries from this show.

The big picture mystery was what happened to Perry White. Was he pushed and if so, who pushed him? All five main characters had secrets that created mysteries. Celeste personal secret was her husband was abusive and together they created volatile and brutal sexual encounters. Madeline had an affair with the theater director and kept the secret from her husband, Ed, until the end of the show. Ranata tried to rise above the financial losses which included his paying the nanny for sex. Jane kept the secret that she was raped. Bonnie didn’t love Nathan and carried around heavy memories of being abused by her mother. Her biggest secret was she pushed Perry down the stairs and killed him.

Deadline: 24 hours

ASSIGNMENT 2:

Create two mysteries for your show — one that shows up strong in the Pilot and the other that is revealed over time.

1. Create your Shocking Event Mystery and tell us the WWWWW and H, along with the part withheld.

Mystery that the shocking event in Pilot

· A. What Shocking Event: (Teaser) At the opening, a man is murdered by a gun shot.

· Lane Baer is hired to teach literature at the at the Caroline Robinson Brown School for Girls.

Lane Baer invites Christian Savage to come to their home for dinner. Paige is rude to the man. Marta is smitten by this southern gentleman.

· Secret: Lane Bear is aware Laylah Hafez, beautiful senior student is obsessed with him. He discovers when she’s in his office the words to his second novel come fast and furiously so he allows her to come in after school and on weekends. She tries to seduce him.

·

· Marta has been having a relationship with Savage. She’s desperate to be loved.

·

· Investigation: Margaret Gilgood, head mistress of the school investigates if Baer is inappropriate with Leylah. Warns him to be cautious or he will be dismissed and won’t be able to teach again.

Paige goes to Savages and warns him to stay away from her mother. She doesn’t want her father to be hurt.

·

· At home Paige accuses Savage of raping her.

That night Baer goes to the local watering hole and confronts Savage publicly about assaulting his daughter.

Later Marta confronts Savage. She wears latex gloves and carries Lane’s gun. He was alive when she left him.

Paige follows her mother to Savage’s apartment.

Savage is found murdered in his apartment. Baer is the first person of interest.

He was with Leylah at the time of the murder. He begs Leylah not to tell he was with her. He wants to protect Marta from knowing about the affair. Leylah wants Lane to leave his family to be with her. He refuses. She runs to the third floor of the school and jumps. She’s in a coma.

· Part Withheld:

· Although we know he was murdered, we don’t know who did it. It could have been one of four characters.

· We don’t know how someone could have gotten so close to Savage to be able to press the gun up against his forehead. He was a rather large man with some physical power.

· We don’t know that Margaret Gilgood, the head mistress, also when to Savage’s apartment.

2. Create the Over Time Mystery and tell us the WWWWW and H, along with the part withheld.

Mystery that the shocking event revealed over time

Cover up: Although Lane Baer initially was the person
of interest, the police switch that person to Marta.

Savage had pulled out of the relationship with Gilgood leaving her desperately lonely and angry.

Secret: Although Lane can’t believe that his wife is a murderer,
he has to follow that thread, as the only other thread leads to Paige.

Reveals: Marta confesses to the killing and is arrested.

Leylah awakens but is disoriented and confused.

Margaret Gilgood deeply affected by Savage’s death.

[Jack Sherry]

Jack’s Show Mysteries

ASSIGNNMENT 1. Big Mysteries in The 100

1. Can earth be safely repopulated

2. Can the 2273 people on board the Arc make it to earth in pods only able to accommodate 700

ASSIGNMENT 2. BIG PICTURE MYSTERIES IN MY SHOW CONCEIVED –

1. Can Professor Matthews successfully extract DNA from a 1500 year old skull and use it to enhance an embryo?

2. Can humans be cloned?

PILOT BIG MYSTERY – SHOCKING EVENT – In the final scene of the Pilot, Professor Matthews reveals the actual head of Bran The Blessed and tells him he’s coming back to life

MID SEASON MYSTERIES – Cover ups, Secrets

1. Some of Victoria’s eggs are stolen by Professor Matthews, fertilized with his seed along with Bran The Blessed’s DNA – An embryo is formed and is implanted into Professor Matthews’ daughter Bryony

2. Thinking they are hers, Victoria uses Kayla’s eggs to be fertilized with Sir George’s seed and the embryo planted into one of Santiago’s Argentinian girls

3. More of Victoria’s eggs (switched by Kayla so she can use them to prove her nature/nuture point) are used by Kayla and fertilized with the seed of Billy Osceola and the embryo implanted in Billy’s daughter Windy Moon as surrogate

4. Unknown to Victoria, her eggs are also fertilized with Santiago’s seed and DNA from Hitler’s granddaughter Porshe and implanted in one of Santiago’s girls as surrogate

5. Santiago clones himself

What I learned from this assignment is to create the mysteries before you write the Pilot.

[Natasha Le Petit]

Lesson 8

“What I learned doing this assignment is mystery has many dimensions and layers. Having the bigger overall mystery of a series may not necessarily keep viewers wanting to watch to the end of the series. But adding to that, within each episode, smaller mysteries, may just keep the viewer hooked and wanting to keep bingeing – to find out the answers to those smaller mysteries- as well as the overall bigger one.

In the Handmaid’s Tale Episode 6 had ended with June learning her husband did not die. In episode 7 it starts with the reveal. It shows his journey from the time he left June and her daughter. We also discover what led up to them being separated. There is a mysterious man – a neighbour – who appears to them in the forest. we are not sure if we can trust him. He turns up at their doorstep and tells them the man who was helping them has been murdered and they need to come with him. Again, we are not sure if he is to be believed.

Create your Shocking Event Mystery and tell us the WWWWW and H, along with the part withheld.

A. Shocking Event:
After being missing for 25 years, Nadine turns up on her old friend’s door.

B. Secret:
What happened to her? Why did she suddenly disappear? And her father too?

C. Investigation:
Zoe’s son thinks there is something not right about her story. He spies on her. A journalist also investigates.

WHO Nadine

WHAT was she doing for all those years

WHEN: when did she disappear, when did she decide to return

WHERE:did she go?

HOW: did she make herself disappear? Did other people know? Was she helped?

Part Withheld:
She went away to have a baby (/Zoe’s father’s baby). It was taken from her and now she wants revenge.

2. Create the Over Time Mystery and tell us the WWWWW and H, along with the part withheld.
A. Cover up:
James is busy shooting his latest film (but the shooting dates were changed). He never left the country.

B. Secret:
Where has Zoe’s husband, James been all this time? Why is money missing?

C. Reveals:
James has been having an affair with someone and has bought a house with her.
WHO James

WHAT what has he been up to?

WHEN: when did it start?

WHERE: did the affair/s take place, where is the house he purchased?

HOW: did he get away with it? How did they meet?

Part Withheld:
The woman is someone Zoe knows and trusts. It’s been going on for years.

[Elizabeth Appell]

THE PROCESS

1. Select a line from your TV Pitch Bible.

2. Express it through each of the Intrigue Patterns.

3. Choose the version that is most interesting and put that in your bible.

I’ve learned how one can tweak a line to make it more intriguing.

ASSIGNMENT:

Using Intrigue Patterns, describe some aspect of your story or characters.

1. Pull out your TV Pitch Bible. Read through it and find ONE line you would like to be more intriguing.

BLAND LINE: Lane Baer, a mid-list writer, is desperate to finish his second novel. To keep his family afloat he takes a job teaching literature at a posh boarding school for girls.

A. Establish something shocking and point to the terrible things it could mean.

When Lane Baer’s daughter accuses Christian Savage of rape, his anger forces him to confront Savage and threaten him in public. His wife, Marta also confronts Savage. They both could become people of interest.

• B. Strong statement; question about something underhanded beneath the surface.

The murder creates a strong concept for the book, but the question leads him to point to Marta as the possible killer.

• C. Question that points to hidden agendas, hidden identity, conspiracy, etc..

Marta thinks their sixteen-year-old daughter could have committed the crime. Lane strongly disagrees which causes him to push the police to consider Marta.

• D. Character 1 is convinced/worried/wondering that Character 2 has done.

• E. But maybe it is all wrong.

Maybe Marta is innocent. Then who could the killer be?

• F. A Pattern that Leads to Future Consequences

Lane stands strong on behalf of Marta.

• G. If he does remain in Marta’s corner, that means he probably appears innocent.

• H. State the mystery.

Who killed Savage?

• I. Should be/could be Paige, but it is even worse.

• J. Intense language.

If Paige is guilty, they will spend the rest of their lives protecting her and keeping her out of the hands of the law.

MORE INTRIGUING LINE: Lane Baer is a mid-list writer desperate for a bestselling concept for his second book. When the history teacher is murdered, it provides Baer with a great concept, especially when his wife is arrested for the crime.

[Jack Sherry]

Jack’s Show Mysteries

What I learned from this exercise is that it may be more important to discard certain aspects of the characters than to add to them. I have discarded the Druid affiliation of the gene – editing professor and the voodoo affiliation of the sugarcane grower’s wife. There is enough intrigue and mystery in having one’s frozen eggs switched for emotional issues and the treachery of one’s closest ally being a traitor for plot issues.

CONCEIVED, a one-hour dramatic series.

SEASON LOGLINE: A royal-blooded wealth fund manager and her American lover freeze their eggs for future fertilization, but the eggs are switched when the lawyer wants to prove that nurture, not nature, determines one’s future. However, the owner of the gene-editing and cryogenics lab where the eggs are stored hatches his own plan for their genes, although he doesn’t know eggs have been switched.

PILOT EPISODE LOGLINE: Two professional women from diverse backgrounds freeze their eggs at the cryogenics lab of the world’s leading gene-editing scientist.

This is the story of the unraveling of the lives of three sets of parents and their children who grow up not knowing who they really are. Two strong female leads of opposite pedigree meet and become lovers. KAYLA HITCH, late 20’s, is an environmental lawyer of mixed race who is all natural, very athletic, but not tech-savvy or good with money. VICTORIA CROMWELL, 30’s, is lilly white, of royal blood, and runs a hedge fund that includes some of the England’s royal family’s wealth. She pilots her own Learjet around the world with her copilot, confidant and bodyguard CHARLES, 40’s. Kayla wants to halt the emergence of red tide on Florida’s beaches and save the Everglades while Victoria wants to halt the security breaches in her accounts and keep and grow the fund she manages. At the end of the pilot episode, the two women, each too busy with their lives to have children themselves, freeze their eggs so that they may have children with surrogate mothers in the future.

The antagonist, PROFESSOR MATTHEWS, 50’s, owns the cryogenics and gene-editing lab where the eggs are stored. He hatches a plan to use Victoria’s eggs to create his own royal-blooded child. The one-hour drama pilot is ripe with original ideas concerning the question of what part genes play in determining one’s soul. Nature versus Nurture in the 21st century.

Professor Matthews was involved with the cloning of Dolly in 1996 and is one of the world’s leading gene-editing and embryo-enhancement specialists Victoria’s Argentinian polo captain, SANTIAGO RODRIGUEZ, 40’s, has successfully cloned polo ponies in Buenos Aires in a lab similar to Professor Matthews’. He supplies Victoria with a surrogate mother for her child, with the ulterior motive of using her eggs for himself, similar to professor Matthews, but just like the professor, does not realize the eggs are actually Kayla’s. PORSHE, the Argentinian surrogate mother, is the daughter of a mistress of Hitler’s who migrated to Argentina. Santiago wants to sell Hitler’s DNA in America to white supremists.

Kayla is shunned by Victoria’s parents because of her race, and because she wants to prove her point of nurture over nature, she switches the nametags on the eggs so that Victoria and Professor Matthews actually raise two children whose biological mother is Kayla, while Kayla raises Victoria’s child in the Everglades.

To further prove her case that environment, not genetic make up, is the determining factor in personality, Kayla chooses her client, Billy Osceola, shaman of the Ayes Indian tribe in the Everglades, as the father, and his daughter Windy Moon as the surrogate mother of Victoria’s royal-blooded child. Kayla represents the tribe in a lawsuit against the sugarcane king, ADOLPHO RAMIREZ, 50’s, who is opening a new sugarcane processing plant. At a protest during the opening ceremony at the plant, Billy is arrested, but released with the help of the attorney opposing Kayla, SIR GEORGE TOWNSEND, 30’s, who is also the man chosen by Victoria to be the biological father of her child, but he is sexually interested in Kayla.

Victoria’s bodyguard Charles, described by her as a modern example of Chaucer’s “strong and true, yet gentle knight” in <i style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>The Canterberry Tales, is actually a spy for Chinese hackers who want to blackmail Victoria so that Chinese ownership of certain ports around the world will be advocated by her in her investments. Normally risk averse, Victoria is forced into risky and dangerous investments to keep the theft of funds from being discovered.

In order to raise a royal-blooded child in the Everglades, Kayla seduces Sir George and retains his sperm to be combined with Victoria’s eggs to create the embryo for surrogate mother Windy Moon, although Billy Osceola thinks he is the biological father. Instead, he is the biological father of the child Victoria will raise in England because Kayla gave Billy’s sperm to Sir George telling him it was his after they had sex.

In the cliffhanger at the end of the first season, four children are born:

1. A boy later known as Python Jack (a modern Tarzan character) – Victoria and Sir George’s biological son, to be raised by Billy Osceola and this daughter Windy Moon in the Everglades. Billy is not aware the child he is raising is not his and that he has a daughter in England.

2. Katherine, Kayla and Billy Osceola’s biological daughter, is raised in England by Victoria’s parents to be worthy of being married into the royal family. They think the child is Victoria’s and Sir George’s.

3. Dana. Kayla and Professor Matthews’ biological daughter, raised by the professor and his daughter Bryony, who think the biological mother is Victoria, not Kayla.

4. A boy named Antonio is born in Buenos Aires with
Santiago’s Porshe as the surrogate mother. Santiago believes the child is his with
Victoria, but it is really Kayla’s child because of the egg switch

[Sharon Scherle]

Jean’s Intrigue Patterns

What I learned doing this assignment is that going through the process with one sentence, I was able to elevate it. In fact, I had a few choices. I am going to go through my pitch bible and put other sentences through this process.

1. Pull out your TV Pitch Bible. Read through it and find ONE line you would like to be more intriguing.

With a crooked ex-boss on one side and a mysterious organization on the other, Sharra must brave the unknown to survive.

The first step is when Lazarus takes her hand and they both vanish.

2. Rethink that line using ALL of these patterns, as I did above:

A. Establish something shocking and point to
the terrible things it could mean.

All Sharra wants to do is escape her crooked ex-boss and so she agrees to join Vault Agency. But making that choice may have caused her parents’ death in the past.

B. Strong statement; question about something
underhanded beneath the surface.

Sharra’s timeline is about to change and Lazarus is behind it. It starts when Lazarus takes Sharra’s hand and they both vanish.

C. Question that points to hidden agendas,
hidden identity, conspiracy, etc.

All Sharra wants to do is escape her crooked ex-boss and so she agrees to join Vault Agency. But is there something more than an angry boss she’s running from? And why does Lazarus want her so badly?

D. Character 1 is convinced/worried/wondering
that Character 2 has done _____________.

Sharra is worried that she’s made the wrong choice, especially when Lazarus has her meet him alone in an empty warehouse. And when he takes her hand and moves in close, she knows, but it’s too late. They both vanish into thin air.

E. But maybe it is all wrong.

All Sharra wants to do is escape her crooked ex-boss. But something sits wrong with Vault Agency. Sharra is sure she’s seen Tanner before when she was a girl. But that can’t be right.

F. A Pattern that Leads to Future Consequences

Lazarus Maitland is a man of sophistication and power. But where is the proof that what he says is the truth?

G. If he does ________________, that means ___Intrigue_____.

Just because Vault Agency looks legitimate, doesn’t mean there isn’t something clandestine about its nature.

H. State the mystery.

Why does a no-body accountant get chosen to join an elite secret agency? And where do Lazarus and Sharra vanish to?

I. Should be/could be _______, but it is even
worse.

It should be someone else with experience and expertise that gets recruited, but Lazarus’ choice of Sharra is not a choice of free will. It is predestined, and the note in from his future self is the proof.

J. Intense language.

A close call with death forces Sharra to make the only logical choice left – join Vault Agency and escape NYC. But that escape is more than Sharra bargains for when Lazarus takes her hand and they both vanish into thin air.

[Natasha Le Petit]

Lesson 8 Intrigue patterns

What I learnt form this assignment is not only how powerful it is to re-phrase questions to create intrigue but also to find a particular tone and to see whose point of view we are looking at.

A.

As Zoe plans her wedding, Nadine slowly withdraws from their friendship until she completely disappears, leading Zoe to think she was using her all along.

B. When Nadine suddenly vanishes, Zoe wonders if they ever had a real friendship or is it something more sinister?

C. Why has Nadine withdrawn from Zoe. After completing her first feature film, why would she suddenly vanish?

D. Zoe becomes worried about her best friend as she begins to withdraw until eventually she vanishes without a trace. What has happened to Nadine? What could be so bad that she can’t confide in her best friend?

E. Zoe begins to doubt herself. Perhaps Nadine is just busy at first. Perhaps Nadine is just caught up in her career? Perhaps they never had the friendship Zoe thought they did.

F. Nadine is becoming more and more busy shooting the film and spending less time with Zoe to the point that Zoe doesn’t even know where she is.

G. If Nadine can’t even turn up to her best friend’s wedding rehearsal, what does that really say about their friendship?

H. Why would an actress about to have her first starring role in a blockbuster film suddenly vanish? Why did she cut off communication with her best friend?

I. Nadine’s acting career is going from strength to strength, but her best friend wonders if she has been used for her connections.

J. Zoe feels used, betrayed and discarded….but is there something more sinister going on to make Nadine cease all contact? Did Nadine meet with foul play?

[r. reid jr]

R. Reid Jr’s Intrigue Patterns

What I learned from this lesson is how just looking at something a little differently or asking different question can change the scope/direction of my story.

HOW TO:

A. The alien that lands on SIGMA 2619 /Earth is a fish out of water so he enrolls in classes at a college to know Earth more.
B. Strong statement; Get to Earth, find the TECH bring it back or your home world will suffer or be killed.
C. Question that points to hidden agendas. The very people who sent him might be the ones he shouldn’t be working for.
D. Bruce is worried/wondering that Character 2 is a victim of the TECH and Bruce wants to reverse the damage.
E. But maybe it is all wrong. And the Mysterious woman is an ally and they need to work together to save the Earth/Sigma 2619.
F. A Pattern that Leads to Future Consequences. Working with the Agents from SIGMA 2619/Earth means that he might have to reveal that he is not a human after-all but something more. Or Bruce will have to cover his tracks that much more.
G. If he does against the Mysterious woman and The Agents, that will mean more Intrigue for the story.
H. State the mystery: who is The Mysterious woman and what does she want?
I. Should Bruce work with The Agents, and one is willing to kill their partner it would mean Bruce partnered with a truly evil person, and make it even worse what he must do next.
J. Intense language. The Agent willing to kill anyone to get ahead or the Mystery Woman who may stop at anything to get keep THE TECH secret.

[Janeen Johnson]

Janeen’s Intrigue Patterns

What I learned doing this assignment is that this process certainly works. I’ve got a LOT of work ahead of me to do this to the rest of my pitch bible.

My original line: Two out of three of the women Mike Campion loved died in car/train crashes. So did he.

2. Rethink that line using ALL of these patterns:

A. Establish something shocking and point to the terrible things it could mean

Two out of three of the women Mike Campion loved died in car/train crashes. So did Mike. Is Cara, his third love, next?

B. Strong statement; question about something underhanded beneath the surface.

Mike Campion and two of the three women he loved have died in car/train crashes at the same intersection in the past six months. How could this possibly be a coincidence?

C. Question that points to hidden agendas, hidden identity, conspiracy, etc..

When Jim Walrath’s wife dies of an apparent suicide by driving into a moving train, it’s tragic. Mike and Molly Campion, her best friends, thought something was fishy about her accident and died in exactly the same way sans suicide notes. How can this be anything but murder?

D. Character 1 is convinced/worried/wondering that Character 2 has done _____________.

Randi Campion lost her son and daughter-in-law in a train/car accident six months after they lost a close friend in exactly the same way. Randi is worried that Jim, the new widower, may have had something to do with all three deaths.

E. But maybe it is all wrong.

When Jim Walrath’s wife died of an apparent suicide, everyone rallied around him. When his neighbors, his wife’s best friends, die in exactly the same way it can hardly be a coincidence.

F. A Pattern that Leads to Future Consequences

Mike Campion, his wife and his ex-girlfriend all died in car/train accidents at the same intersection near their homes. Now that Cara, his soulmate, has arrived to sort out his estate, will she be next?

G. If he does ________________, that means ___Intrigue_____.

Just because Jim Walrath’s abused wife and the couple next door who were trying to help her escape him died in exactly the same way, that doesn’t mean he had anything to do with it, does it?

H. State the mystery.

Why did Molly Walrath commit suicide by driving into the path of a moving train? Why did her best friends die the same way six months later?

I. Should be/could be _______, but it is even worse.

It should have been suspicious when Molly Walrath died at a rail crossing and left a suicide note on her computer, but the only people who thought it was odd died exactly the same way six months later.

J. Intense language.

Jim Walrath’s wife died in a car/train accident and he wrote her suicide note. Six months later, Mike and Mindy Campion found evidence that the suicide note was faked and they died in a car/train accident the same week.

[Rob Sutherland]

Rob’s Intrigue Patterns

What I learned doing this assignment is that it is fun, productive and not really all that difficult running a boring line though these intrigue patterns. Not only have I improved the line in question but in exploring different ways to say the same thing, new ideas for what the line means and how it plays out in the story also emerged.

Like others, I can see the value of putting a whole lot of lines through this process.

The bland line I’m trying to improve:

The Mirage himself is on the hunt for knowledge about his own identity and why he has endured for centuries, outliving all of his loved ones.

A. Establish something shocking and point to the terrible things it could mean:

The Mirage’s origins remain unknown, even to himself – but he’s terrified of his similarities to the demons he hunts.

B. Strong statement; question about something underhanded beneath the surface:

The Mirage has no idea who he is or why he has lived for centuries. Where the hell did he and his immortality come from?

C. Question that points to hidden agendas, hidden identity, conspiracy, etc.:

The Mirage is immortal with incredible powers – but where did they come from? And at what cost?

D. Character 1 is convinced/worried/wondering that Character 2 has done _____________:

Julia marvelled at The Mirage’s powers and invulnerability. But is his immortality a gift … or a curse?

E. But maybe it is all wrong:

The Mirage appears to know everything … but nothing about himself or where he comes from.

The Mirage has saved countless people … but why is he so cagey about his origins?

The Mirage has forgotten who he is and where he comes from. But have his memories been erased … or has he deliberately buried them?

F. A Pattern that Leads to Future Consequences:

The Mirage is hunting for information about his own origins – tracking evidence, uncovering historical texts, digging into his memories. But what is he really going to find buried in his past?

G. If he does ________________, that means ___Intrigue_____:

Just because The Mirage doesn’t remember who he is, that doesn’t mean he’s hiding something from himself does it?

H. State the mystery:

Why would someone forget who he is? Is he just hiding from the truth?

I. Should be/could be _______, but it is even worse:

The Mirage has incredible powers and immortality, but they conceal a dark secret.

J. Intense language:

The Mirage has powers and abilities the envy of mortals. But what did he do to get them? And what did the demons have to do with it?