Post Day 8 Assignment Here

[Renee Brown]

Renee Brown Dialogue 1 + 2

What I learned by doing this assignment is:

While it still needs work, I am finding that the dialogue with my main characters naturally has more depth, while the dialogue of the minor characters, who I did not develop with all their layers, falls flat as a pancake. So. I am imagining a little back story for each character so even the small bits sing more true.

Also, I am finding a lot of short answers from my main characters. It reminds me of the writer in Hal’s audio lecture. SO! My take away: there are a million ways to say YES or NO that add character depth with the dialogue.

For example: In this scene where I was working on Attack/ Counterattack, I placed in Bold my first draft speed writing dialogue. Under that is the underlined new dialogue that says more about the character.

INT. RECEPTION CHAMBER

Saltar opens the reception chamber and glides to the wall. Pushes on a panel. A tray extends. Two glasses steaming with electric blue liquid. She hands one to Anauk.

SALTAR

What does Tallas say?

ANAUK

He’s behind that damn stone in his water cave of wonders. They won’t get him out. I don’t know if they even see Planet X or know what’s happening above.

SALTAR

I can get to him.

ANAUK

Like he’s gonna take your ping.

SALTAR

No. I know.

I’m not an idiot.

ANAUK

So what.. Just gonna swim up through the water cave and be like, “Hey Tallas, I know you hate me but you got a sec?”

SALTAR

Yes.

I’ll be a little more nuanced than that, I hope.

Anauk checks her for seriousness. Grows serious himself.

ANAUK

He will kill you.

SALTAR

Maybe.

He can try.

Saltar CLANKS the TEA CUP on the TABLE and walks out.

[Sherri Coffee]

Sherri D. Coffee Module 4 Lesson 8 Dialogue 1 + 2

What I learned doing this assignment is to increase the banter so that it elevates the conflict. And it is important to have the direct attack/counterattack for tension.

I changed a scene from having an attorney deliver the message to having the attorney AND the competition deliver the message. The dialogue elevates the tension between the 2 opposite characters and establishes some sympathy for my lead character.

I checked the lines of my main character dialogue and reworked some of the lines to better demonstrate character.

[Emmanuel Sullivan]

Emmanuel Sullivan Dialogue 1+2

What I learned doing this assignment is dialogue is tricky. There are so many elements you must think about. For one, the main characters must have dialogue that moves the story along but also dialogue that is written to their personality. The dialogue also must be natural, mostly brief, engaging, intriguing and bring out emotions.

[Barbara Gilmore]

Barbara Gilmore Dialogue 1 + 2

I rewrote three scenes in Act 3 using the attack/counterattack framework and one of the scenes also incorporated a character wound.

So one of the scenes that I rewrote the dialogue for was the first time that Jess and Sarah meet up after 3 years of not being in contact.

I also rewrote the dialogue for the scene where Jess and Sheriff Pearson go talk to Luke’s (who disappeared) parents.

I found the dialogue 1 + 2 lesson extremely useful and I plan on using all dialogue lessons to rewrite and/or review all Acts 1 through 5 plus Teaser.

[Daniel Melin]

Daniel Melin’s Dialogue 1 + 2

Using the Attack/Counterattack technique I increased the tension between two of the main characters, and caused them to snipe at one another’s shortcomings and made the scene noticeably better.

I didn’t avail myself as much of the character profile dialogue, because I am rewriting a good deal of my show’s overall first season arc, which affects a good deal of what’s in my pilot.

What I learned doing this assignment is how the larger picture dynamics always need to be purposefully integrated at the most minute levels. Generally I have a firm grasp on my characters and plot to just run with it and keep things engaging but touching these aspects up does help.