• Kimbal Thompson

    Member
    September 15, 2021 at 3:18 am

    30 Day Script Lesson 8: Kimbal Thompson’s Add Theme and Antagonist Journey 09.14.21

    What I learned doing this assignment is the many intricacies that can develop throughout the theme.

    ASSIGNMENT

    1. Empowerment

    2. Use the High-Speed Writing Rules as you do today’s assignment.

    Rule
    1:
    Understand writing in drafts.
    Rule
    2:
    Choose speed over quality
    for EARLY drafts.
    Rule
    3:
    Allow yourself to start (and
    continue) without all the answers.
    Rule
    4:
    Use empowering self talk. Cheer
    yourself on.
    Rule
    5:
    Give yourself freedom to
    write without criticism.
    Rule
    6:
    Keep moving. Don’t allow
    yourself to ever stall out.
    Rule
    7:
    if it doesn’t come to
    you, give it to your creative mind to process.

    3. Do Pass 1: Interweave theme throughout the beat sheet.

    EAGLE STALLION

    Act 1:

    INT. KAI’S DINING ROOM – DAY

    At the Breakfast table Kai and his parents are discussing his potential advancement to Eagle Scout

    KAI’S DAD

    (Casually over breakfast)

    What are you thinking about for your Eagle project son?

    KAI

    I’m not.

    KAI’S MOM

    Why?

    KAI

    You both are more into Scouting than I am at this point, I’m more interested in looking forward to getting my drivers license.

    KAI’S DAD

    Not until you finish your Eagle.

    KAI’S MOM

    I’ll support that.

    KAI

    That sucks! But, I really have been thinking about it. You have any ideas?

    KAI’S DAD

    Do you remember Uncle Jim? He was a good friend that you met when you were in diapers. Remember the photo at least?

    KAI

    Wasn’t he the architect that jumped off the cliff?

    KAI’S DAD

    Yes, and survived. That was just before your picture with him. He was a talented architect and designed a steel sculpture for High School, that’s in need of restoration.

    KAI

    That sounds like a lot of work.

    KAI’S DAD

    Your project is not just supposed to be easy. Besides It would truly be a good deed.

    KAI

    No good deed goes unpunished!

    Inciting Incident: It is suggested he could restore a weathered 2+ story high steel sculpture of a paper airplane stuck into a planter in the courtyard of a local high school. He chooses that as his project although schemes to have the restoration put out to bid for the actual restoration work.

    TE 2 School adds to project

    Turning Point: School insists he also restore the life-size bronze horse sculpture in which Kai must perform the actual restoration work. Kai accepts.

    Act 2:

    EXT. SCHOOL COURTYARD – DAY

    SCHOOL PRINCIPAL

    Kai, we like your idea to restore the Airplane sculpture, but also have something else.

    KAI

    That’s great, Mahalo. That’s the else?

    SCHOOL PRINCIPAL

    The school team is the Mustangs and we have a horse in need of restoration.

    KAI

    What kind of mustang?

    • New plan: Kai decides to bring in expertise in restoring large bronze exterior sculptures.

    • Plan in action: Utilizing instructions from experts, Kai discovers patch in horse.

    • Midpoint Turning Point: Kai’s curiosity leads him to discover why there is a patch, uncovers patch to find a package inside with a valuable cache.

    • Act 3:

    EXT. TRUCK LEAVING PRISON – NIGHT

    • Rethink everything: Rory escapes prison, goes to find the horse and finds it missing

    PH: Rory Background and escape thru

    EXT. SCHOOL STOREROOM – NIGHT

    • Finding the horse missing, he learns of Kai’s project, finds the repaired patch, and goes after Kai

    INT. KAI AT HOME ON HIS COMMPUTER

    • Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift: Kai traces the source of the cache, goes after Kai.

    Act 4:

    Rory chases and catches Kai demanding where he has taken the package.

    EXT. SCHOOL PARKING LOT

    KAI

    Who are you and what are you talking about?

    PH Kai is interrupted and gracefully escapes

    • Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict: Rory captures Kai; Kai tricks and severely injures Rory, stealing his car and drives…

    • Resolution: . .to the statue dedication ceremony turning in Rory and solving a long unsolved Hawaiian mystery.

    4. Do Pass 2 : Build in the Antagonist Journey.

    EAGLE STALLION

    Act 1:

    INT. KAI’S DINING ROOM – DAY

    At the Breakfast table Kai and his parents are discussing his potential advancement to Eagle Scout

    KAI’S DAD

    (Casually over breakfast)

    What are you thinking about for your Eagle project son?

    KAI

    I’m not.

    KAI’S MOM

    Why?

    KAI

    You both are more into Scouting than I am at this point, I’m more interested in looking forward to getting my drivers license.

    KAI’S DAD

    Not until you finish your Eagle.

    KAI’S MOM

    I’ll support that.

    KAI

    That sucks! But, I really have been thinking about it. You have any ideas?

    KAI’S DAD

    Do you remember Uncle Jim? He was a good friend that you met when you were in diapers. Remember the photo at least?

    KAI

    Wasn’t he the architect that jumped off the cliff?

    KAI’S DAD

    Yes, and survived. That was just before your picture with him. He was a talented architect and designed a steel sculpture for High School, that’s in need of restoration.

    KAI

    That sounds like a lot of work.

    KAI’S DAD

    Your project is not just supposed to be easy. Besides It would truly be a good deed.

    KAI

    No good deed goes unpunished!

    Inciting Incident: It is suggested he could restore a weathered 2+ story high steel sculpture of a paper airplane stuck into a planter in the courtyard of a local high school. He chooses that as his project although schemes to have the restoration put out to bid for the actual restoration work.

    TE 2 School adds to project

    Turning Point: School insists he also restore the life-size bronze horse sculpture in which Kai must perform the actual restoration work. Kai accepts.

    Act 2:

    EXT. SCHOOL COURTYARD – DAY

    SCHOOL PRINCIPAL

    Kai, we like your idea to restore the Airplane sculpture, but also have something else.

    KAI

    That’s great, Mahalo. That’s the else?

    SCHOOL PRINCIPAL

    The School team is the Mustangs and we have a horse in need of restoration.

    KAI

    What kind of mustang?

    • New plan: Kai decides to bring in expertise in restoring large bronze exterior sculptures.

    • Plan in action: Utilizing instructions from experts, Kai discovers patch in horse.

    • Midpoint Turning Point: Kai’s curiosity leads him to discover why there is a patch, uncovers patch to find a package inside with a valuable cache.

    • Act 3:

    EXT. TRUCK LEAVING PRISON – NIGHT

    Rory Ragsdale is wedged between the frame rails beneath the Opala truck exiting the Hawaii Federal Detention Center where he has been an inmate since it’s construction in (date).

    RORY

    (to himself)

    No traffic, first stoplight and I’m outa here, they won’t even miss me until tomorrow.

    • Rethink everything: Rory escapes prison, goes to find the horse and finds it missing

    PH: Rory Background and escape thru

    PH Devise way for Rory background:

    From New Jersey, rough childhood, moved with divorced parent to Hawaii while in lower grade, picked on in school, doesn’t like Hawaiian kids, hates scouts. despite being in trouble, enlisted in Air Force at 18, in Guam, court marshalled for what he thought was performing a good deed.. Arrested in Hawaii for major crime and incarcerated. Careful to not give much information on source of cache that he has hidden to insure his future once out of prison.

    EXT. SCHOOL STOREROOM – NIGHT

    • Finding the horse missing, he learns of Kai’s project, finds the repaired patch, and goes after Kai

    INT. KAI AT HOME ON HIS COMMPUTER

    • Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift: Kai traces the source of the cache, goes after Kai.

    Act 4:

    Rory chases and catches Kai demanding where he has taken the package.

    EXT. SCHOOL PARKING LOT

    KAI

    Who are you and what are you talking about?

    PH Kai is interrupted and gracefully escapes

    • Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict: Rory captures Kai; Kai tricks and severely injures Rory, stealing his car and drives…

    • Resolution: . .to the statue dedication ceremony turning in Rory and solving a long unsolved Hawaiian mystery.

  • Emmanuel Sullivan

    Member
    September 15, 2021 at 3:34 pm

    Emmanuel’s Beat Sheet Draft 2

    What I learned doing this assignment is the antagonist is also equally as important. Most writers know that but tend to focus on the protagonist. It’s a good idea to build the antagonist into the beat sheet so that you can sail quickly writing the first draft.

  • Lee Tidball

    Member
    September 16, 2021 at 5:39 pm

    Lee’s Beat Sheet Draft 2

    What I learned doing this assignment is…is that this story is far from perfect yet—some big plot holes and story logic issues, but I think the BASIC structure is sound.

    Story Theme(s)

    – You can never be “you” until you accept yourself for who you are: gifts, talents, warts, and all. – If good outstanding people aren’t willing to STAND OUT, evil most certainly will, and fill the void.<div>

    Antagonist’s Journey

    – Has been preparing for this moment for years. He was there when Milly’s family came to Earth, helped capture Milly’s mom, was an officer at Area 51, etc. </div><div>

    – He kidnaps Milly’s dad, shows him that his wife is alive—as long as he cooperates.

    – He sends assassins to kill Milly at the same time.

    – They “eliminate” Milly’s grandma.

    – When Milly’s not killed, various assassins of his follow Milly and Justin, make several attempts to covertly kill them.

    – He sends a shape-shifter to impersonate Justin, nearly kills her.

    – He easily defeats Milly’s attack.

    – He nearly kills Milly’s Dad in the climax.

    – Milly defeats him. He’s taken into custody.


    HIGH SPEED BEAT SHEET #2 – Incorporating Theme and Antagonist Journey

    INT. MILLY’S HOUSE – DAY

    Opening – Milly goes through her morning routine with her father. They are very affectionate and open until…

    Theme – Millie’s doing some supernatural thing while she gets ready for school.

    AS THEY PART…

    TE 1 – Milly’s Dad calls her something like “my darling little alien.” Milly rebukes him, tells him not to call her that.

    Theme – Dad sighs, shakes his head as she leaves—and the door opens by itself.

    She heads off to school, he to his work at a local research lab.

    INT. MILLY’S HOUSE – NIGHT

    Inciting Incident – After Milly comes home, she finds that her Dad doesn’t come home. Not for all night.

    EXT. VARIOUS LOCATIONS – DAY (MONTAGE)

    TE 2 – She and friend Justin call the lab, police, etc. Lab says that her dad never worked there. Police offer no help.

    INT./EXT. MILLY’S HOUSE – NIGHT

    Turning Point – TE 3 –Next night, unknown assailants show up at the house, along with a heavily armed old woman. She says she’s Milly’s grandmother. She says Milly’s Dad’s been kidnapped, taken to (some place), they must leave now, and not to forget her dad’s collection of “toys”, miniature weapons and military vehicles.

    Theme – Sometime in this scene, Grandma tells Milly that she’s an outstanding person, but if she won’t care enough to stand out, the bad guys surely will.

    There’s a fierce fight. Milly and Justin escape. Grandma holds off assailants, fate is unknown.

    Act 2

    INT. JUSTIN’S HOUSE – DAY

    New plan – Justin steals one of his parents credit cards and some cash. They head out for (some place) where Granny said Dad was hidden.

    PLACEHOLDER – Justin has to be around 16—can drive but probably just with permit, or maybe just got a license. How do they move about—car, dirt bike, etc. Do parents stop payment on credit cards, does Justin know the PIN and withdraw a bunch of cash.

    EXT. THE COUNTRYSIDE – DAY

    TE 3 – Very little goes right. They run out of gas, use the credit card, find they’re chased by unknown assailants. They barely escape (because of something quasi-miraculous that Milly does unawares).

    INT. JANUS’S LAIR/LAB – DAY

    Janus calls off his assailants, thinks that he might be able to use Milly like he’s using her father, only more.

    Theme – Justin asks Milly about something amazing that she does; how’d she do that. She shrugs it off—it was nothing. The only thing outstanding about her is her green hair.

    EXT. DESERT – DAY

    MidpointTE 4 – Milly discovers that saying “the magic words” causes her fathers “toys” to become life-sized and functional.

    Act 3

    EXT. SECRET LAB – DAY

    Rethink everything – Milly and Justin, using new knowledge, arm themselves with “toy” weapons and vehicles. They go to where there dad’s being held.

    PLACEHOLDER – I’m thinking maybe there’s a Jeep, some guns, maybe even a tank? But they’re all of an older vintage, which the kinds don’t understand.

    EXT. SECRET LAB – DAY

    A reconnaissance of the area, various obstacles to overcome.

    INT./EXT. SECRET LAB – DAY

    New Plan (using new ways) – Milly and Justin attack the place where Dad is being held.

    INT./EXT. SECRET LAB – DAY

    Janus can undo the “magic” that made toys come to life. Or he launches a counterattack with much more modern weapons, even futuristic weapons.

    TE 5 – Attack fails miserably. Justin and Milly are captured, thrown into a cell.

    Act 4

    INT. JAIL CELL – NIGHT

    TE 6 – Milly’s “dead” mother is in the cell with Milly and Justin.

    Theme – She reminds Milly of who she really is (a human alien with amazing abilities). She advises Milly how to unlock them—she’s their only hope.

    INT. JAIL CELL – NIGHT

    PLACEHOLDER – Mother was captured by Janus years ago. Dad didn’t find out about it until a few days ago.

    INT. – SECRET LAB – DAY

    Janus tries to coerce Milly into joining him. If she doesn’t, he’ll kill Justin.

    INT./EXT. SECRET LAB

    Janus begins his plan to take over US with a demonstration of his deadly future-weapons, operated by Milly’s father.

    INT./EXT. SECRET LAB

    Climax – Milly, fully accepting who she is, uses her abilities to defeat Janus and his minions and free her father, mother, and Justin.

    INT. SECRET LAB – DAY

    Janus is turned over to government authorities..

    EXT. MILLY’S HOUSE – DAY

    Resolution – Back home, Milly jokes with Justin about maybe she’ll become a superhero, and he could be her sidekick.

    Theme – Milly’s embraced her true self, excited about her new life, unafraid to “stand out” when needed.

    </div>

  • Lisa Molenda

    Member
    September 19, 2021 at 4:17 am

    Lisa’s High Speed Beat Sheet

    What I learned doing this assignment is to build more substance into the characters and their stories for motivation etc. The audience needs to see this as a oiece of the cahracter’s lives rather than just feeling like the story materialized for the sake of the story.

    Act 1

    INT. KAI AND DIANE’S BEDROOM- NIGHT

    David loves his wife and kids but Mayla, his wife, feels like kids are a burden. She tells David she doesn’t love him anymore. She tells him she hasn’t been interested in him since he was injured and lost his football scholarship. She just had the kids out of pity but she realized she could have married someone rich and successful…. And hot. At least if he was still hot or famous, he could help her career as an influecer.

    After tucking in his two kids, Kai (8), and Diane (4), David Sterling has another argument with his wife Mayla. She laps him across the face and storms out of the house, to go out partying. David starts drinking as he watches Mayla livestream her wild night out. He drinks himself to sleep and passes out on the couch

    INT COURT ROOM/ THEATER- NIGHT

    TE 1: David wakes up in the afterlife. He drank himself to death. He wants to go back and see his kids again. His guides tell him he has already served his purpose in their lives and he will never see his kids again, and all other positions in their lives have been filled. They show him how Mayla is treating the kids, yelling at them, punishing them for no reason, and even hitting them.

    David pleads with his guides to let him return. He’s so remorseful. They make an exception. He can go back as the family dog. David accepts the offer.

    EXT RURAL STREET CORNER- DAY

    TE 2: David, now a pitbull puppy, is abandoned in a box in the rain as a puppy.

    A man finds him and brings him to a shelter.

    Act 2:

    INT. SHELTER- DAY

    David is lonely and feels helpless. He can’t remember where he used to live in his human life. The shelter is cold and sterile. Days and weeks go by. Different people come by every day and bring home their new pets. No one wants to adopt him because he is a pitbull and they think he will be ferocious.

    INT. SHELTER- DAY

    David is adopted by a family, but it’s not his family. David is quiet the whole car ride to his new home.

    INT. JANE’S ROOM- DAY

    JANE (6) dresses David up like a babydoll and tries to put a bow on his head.

    INT. MAYLA’S CHURCH

    Mayla is acting like the perfect mother at church. Her kids are there with her. People compliment her on her parenting skills. KAI and DIANE are quiet.

    EXT. MAYLA’S HOUSE- DAY

    Mayla drops off Kai and Diane. She says she has to work.

    EXT. STREET CORNER- DAY

    Mayla poses for photographer in a skimpy dress.

    INT. MAYLA’S HOUSE- NIGHT

    Mayla arrives home with the kids. Tells them to make some sandwiches for dinner, and heads out for the night

    INT. JANE’S HOUSE- NIGHT

    David looks around for ways to escape. There are no open windows or doors. David goes to sleep on his mat.

    Montage: David goes on walks, tries to get away, but it too small. He’e sent to a kennel for training. He gets bigger.

    INT. JANE’S HOUSE- DAY

    Jane’s dad, ROBERT (30’s), comes through the front door with DAVID, now a grown pitbull. He takes the leash off David. The mailman arrrives to drop off the mail. Robert tells him he has a piece of mail to send out. He reaches out to grab it and David escapes, bursting through the front door, runnning into the mailman, and he keeps running and running

    EXT. DOWNTOWN- EARLY EVENING

    David find a dumpster thats open and rummages through it trying to find food. He eats some table scraps.

    INT. MAYLA’S HOUSE- NIGHT

    DIANE and KAI look for food in the fridge and cabinets. There’s nothing.

    Mayla arrives home and asks her why they’re up. She gives them her leftover takeout food and tells them she shouldn’t have given them anythign because they’re too fat anyway.

    EXT. STREET- DAY

    David is looking for food in a dumpster. A houseless man, Charlie offers him some of his sandwich. They become friends. Charlie names him Danny.

    INT. MAYLA’S CHURCH- DAY

    A man, GREG (30’s), introduces himself to Mayla. She introduces him to her kids.

    EXT. STREET- DAY

    Charlie and David collect money and food from strangers.

    David eats takeout food with Charlie.

    Charlie talks to David. David communicates back by barking.

    They decide to travel to David’s old city where he lived

    EXT. STREET- NIGHT

    TE 3: Winter comes and it gets very cold one night. David snuggles up to Charlie to keep each other warm. Charlie keeps drinking to stay warm. David wakes up shivering and Charlie has died, leaving David on the streets again.

    INT.GRANDMA MAY’S HOUSE- CHISTMAS DAY

    Mayla, Kai, and Diane are spending Christmas with David’s mother, May. May says she wants to see the kids more, and that she can help out if she needs help. Etc.

    EXT. STREET-DAY

    David goes through a dumpster looking for food. A STORE OWNER yells at him, tries to beat him with a broom to make him go away.

    Act 3:

    PLACEHOLDER: David tries using his dog instincts, picking up smells, trying to remember his kids scents, but doesn’t pick anything up.

    David remembers the city where he lives. He sneaks on the bus to make it there. He tries remembering old landmarks, but it’s been a few years and things have changed.

    EXT. STREET- DAY

    TE 4: David sees his kids walking down the street with their mother and her boyfriend. David tries getting their attention. The kids stop to pet him and they want to keep him, but Mayla doesn’t let them. She puts the kids in the car and drives off. David tries to keep up and he can’t.

    INT. MAYLA’S HOUSE- DAY

    Mayla calls animal control and claims a pitbull attacked her.

    Mayla and the kids are packing boxes to move in with Greg.

    Diane says she wants to move in with Grandma instead.

    EXT. CITY STREET- NIGHT

    David gets picked up by animal control. He’s so mild tempered, they dont think he’s the right dog.

    He gets sent to an animal shelter.

    EXT MAYLA’S HOUSE- DAY

    The kids load the last of their things in the car. Greg drives the truck ahead of them.

    KAI opens the window and sticks his arm out as they are riding to their new house.

    INT ANIMAL SHELTER- DAY

    David is adopted by a scruffy looking man, JIMMY (40)’s

    INT. JIIMY’S CAR- DAY

    David recognizes some of the streets from his previous human life.

    Flashback of human David driving down the same streets.

    Jimmy tells David he’ll be a good fighting dog

    David and Jimmy arrive at a rundown looking house in the country. There’s lots of barking heard from behind the house. Jimmy puts a collar on David and tries to take him to the back of the house. There are dogs in cages in the back. David struggles to get away, and bites Jimmy. Jimmy lets go, adn David runs away. Jimmy pulls out a gun, shoots, and misses. David keeps running.

    MAYLA AND GREG’S HOUSE-NIGHT

    KAI comes home with a black eye. Some kids beat him up after school. Mayla tells him it’s because he should learn how to fight back and not be like his father.

    It’s becoming harder for her to keep her secret that she’s abusing her kids.

    MONTAGE

    Flashback of Human David driving down certain streets and seeing different street signs.

    Dog David passes the same streets on foot from day to night.

    This goes back and forth between human David and dog David

    EXT. DAVID AND MAYLA’S OLD HOUSE- NIGHT

    TE 5: David finds his old house, but it’s empty and for sale. He picks up his kids’ scents, and tries to trace them.

    He seems to lose the scent in the driveway, but keeps sniffing around. He picks up a scent and follows it.

    PLACEHOLDER: How does David find their new house? Does he run into the husband and track him? Or finds some trash that smells like someone and tracks them?

    Act 4

    EXT. GREY AND MAYLA’S HOUSE-NIGHT

    David finds the new house. Mayla and Greg, her new husband, are having an argument. Greg storms out of the house. Mayla puts the kids to bed and gives them benadryl and packs a bag. She plugs in a bunch of things to an outlet and several power strips and starts a fire. She walks out the door and David bites leg and growls, ferociously. Mayla runs, leaving the door open. She gets in her car and drives off.

    TE 6: David goes into the house and wakes up Kai, Kai bring himself and Diane out a window and David is trapped inside. Firefighters arrive, and pull David out of the house, but he’s unconscious. They try to revive him. After a couple minutes he wakes up.

    EXT. MOTEL- DAY

    TE 7: Mayla is arrested for multiple charges and is put in jail.

    EXT. REMAINS OF GREG AND MAYLA’S HOUSE-DAY

    Reporters stand outside covering the news. David is recognized for being a hero. Kai and Diane get to keep him and they all live with their grandmother.

  • Kathi Wahed

    Member
    September 20, 2021 at 10:03 pm

    Lesson 8 – Revised Beat Sheet, Theme & Antagonist’s journey

    AMERICAN MAO

    OPENING

    ACT 1

    EXT. URBAN AREA – DAY

    Anti-gun protest. FRAN, mid 50’s, shouts out slogans, “Guns kill. Turn them in.” “What about the constitution?” “Fuck the constitution.” Law enforcement pays for gun-owners to voluntarily turn in their guns. We see there’s a scam going on where the collected guns are being recirculated out the back door.

    SANDY, late 20’s, approaches with a group of revolutionaries. He asks Fran to help retrieve something from his van, which she does, unwittingly. We see they know each other when she reminds him to remember his anger issues.

    Sandy and the revolutionaries, spying a cross in the distance, toss their bombs there. Instead of a church it’s a Taco Bell. Tacos, chips, refried beans and workers fly through the air. Sandy and revolutionaries brandish guns and shout Communist jargon in celebration. Sandy gives Fran a thumbs up. She’s shocked, saying “I thought this was peaceful.”

    INT. FRAN’S HOUSE, SUBURBIA – NIGHT

    Placeholder – see Fran’s very nice suburban house. Wild party in process. Meet her daughter RUTH, early 30’s, and son-in-law, perhaps a younger son. See the son-in-law made a killing from trading in guns for a local gang and getting paid multiple times for them. Fran reproaches them “This is my house, respect it.” Ruth: “you capitalist pig. Dad paid for this house.” “He was run out of the country by anti-Semites. Anyway, he gave the house to me.” “Fuck private land ownership, this belongs to me as much as you.” “Where did you learn this?” “At school, of course.”

    INT. COURTHOUSE – DAY

    Fran tells a Judge she didn’t realize what was happening. She’s innocent. Anyway, “Taco Bell is a capitalist corporate bloodsucker that exploits its workers, expropriates another culture for profit, encourages climate change.” Judge: “oh?” “Beans, methane.” Judge nods and dismisses her because of her good anti-capitalist intentions.

    Sandy and his revolutionaries take over the courthouse, but now it’s a huge army. They kill the Judge and declare the People’s Republic of California (PCR) is now in charge. Sandy explains that elites must be elimianted for the cause. Fran is mortified and says something like “maybe I should’ve reported Sandy.”

    INCITING INCIDENT

    EXT. FRAN’S HOUSE – NIGHT

    Sandy and Army move in with trucks, floodlights, bullhorns, announcing everyone is to leave their homes. Can take one bag. Sandy yells at Fran, “It’s happening, just like I told you.”

    They point guns at Fran and make her leave her house. She objects, saying “but I’m black.” Sandy says “you live in a white supremacist zip code. You are one of them.”

    She grabs her mother in law’s silver and her cat. Staring down the guns, she turns to Sandy, “I thought you were against guns?” Sandy smirks.

    The Army separates her from her family. Ruth, her husband and brother are taken in a different truck. Ruth objects, “I spouted your jargon.” Sandy says, “You have a rotten social score.” “What for?” “Letting your dog shit on your neighbors’ lawns. They reported you.” They take her dog from her.

    Fran pleads to stay together but Sandy says “families are no longer allowed. It’s against policy.” They are piled into trucks and taken away.

    EXT. TURLOCK RANCH – DAY

    Trucks unload Fran and her neighbors near the cows and the slaughterhouse. Cows eye them. Fran reassures them, “I’m vegetarian.” It stinks and there are flies everywhere.

    Sandy and the Army steer them toward farmhand huts. They “liberate” the farmhands, who cheer, say Adios and jump on the trucks. Sandy: “You’re going to live in a beautiful home.” Farmhand to Fran: “Do you have Netflix?”

    Fran and the neighbors object and question Sandy. “This is just temporary, right?” He says, “How long did the Cultural Revolution last in China?” A neighbor, a doctor, says after awhile, “After 20 million died.” The group screams and tries to run back to the truck but one of the Army shoots a woman and injures her. Sandy: “it’s for the cause, you dirty elitist pigs. This is resettlement for re-education.”

    ACT 2

    INT. HUT-TURLOCK RANCH – DAY

    Fran wakes up, crammed into small, dirty hut with 8 other people – 3 sets of bunk beds. She falls from top bunk, injures knee. Releases her cat to chase rats. Someone says, “what did we do to deserve this?” “we’re white” – they all look at Fran and she says “wrong zip code.”

    Fran tries to buy into the experience…says it’s to give us a taste of how our struggling workers live. Good to help open our eyes. Develop empathy and appreciation. Learn a new skill set. Think of it as camp.” Everyone looks at her skeptically. The Doctor says, “I’m sure my dad will be happy he spent $200,000 on my medical education so I can shovel shit.” Fran parrots: “You didn’t build it.” Doctor: “my father was an immigrant who had 3 jobs to pay for my school. I spent 6 years a slave to the medication profession. For this?” Fran says “quit whining” and, ever the optimist and therapist says, “Let’s make the best of it.”

    INT. RANCH SLAUGHTERHOUSE – DAY

    Fran and others, sweating. They eye the cattle. A Revolutionary Cadre Leader (former gamer/hacker?) directs them, spouts numbers, quotas, performance metrics. Fran says, “But what are we supposed to do?” Cadre Leader says “Did you think cows poop hamburgers? Line ‘em up and shoot ‘em.” Fran objects and secretly releases cows from fenced in yard. Cadre leader shoots at her feet and makes her retrieve them from dung-filled fields. Cadre leader: “YOU don’t exist anymore. You only exist to help the group. No one cares about your selfish needs.”

    INT. HUT – NIGHT

    Fran holds a group therapy session, using her “Socialist for Dummies” manual to train the group in socialist jargon. They question the dictates. She tells them to face their white guilt and get over it.

    Sandy joins them, uses a white board and puts an X through white people. Doctor says “as in exterminate us?” Sandy: “Oh no, just take away everything of value from you, make you real workers and eliminate you from leadership positions. You’re dust.”

    When Sandy leaves, the group disintegrates and starts complaining and whining and beating up on each other. Fran tries to counsel them in traditional therapist manner but it’s all ludicrous.

    Suddenly, over the hidden room speakers, Sandy says “we hear you. You have committed a communist crime.” The room is smoke bombed. Sandy and the Army punishes them by making them sleep outside with the cows, “like the animals that you are.”

    INT. SLAUGHTERHOUSE – NIGHT

    Carcasses come through on an assembly line. A few workers try to cut them up a lot Lucille Ball, but there’s a back-up. No one knows what they’re doing. They review a large chart showing animal parts of cow. Doctor tries to help. Doesn’t work. Finally, they just throw the whole bodies into the back of the trucks.

    EXT. FANCY CITY RESTAURANT OR GROCERY STORE – DAY

    Trucks arrive and dump whole cow carcasses. Workers pissed and unsure what to do. None of them know what they’re doing, they’re all IT workers. Talk about algorithms.

    Zombie-like people, starving, steal parts of the carcasses and gnaw on them.

    EXT. FEEDLOT – DAY

    PRC troops come in to increase production (there’s a backlog and people are beginning to starve). But they make their point by pepper spraying the cattle with bullets, killing cattle and a few people in the process. “Get it?”

    MIDPOINT – TURNING POINT

    INT. HUT – NIGHT

    Fran calls daughter – “where are you?” Ruth tells her she’s living in a ghetto near their old house, over the hill. Ruth reveals to Fran that she’s pregnant. Fran is so excited, “I’m going to be a grandmother.” But Ruth tells her the Commandant said they have to abort. Fran asks if she wants that. She’s not sure, but has no choice. Abortion is set for ____ date in future (5days?). Ruth says “maybe it’s the best thing since who wants to bring kids into the ghetto.” Fran says, “look we can go home, have the baby.” Ruth shows her a video of their home overrun with 3 Mexican families now living there, taco trucks in driveway, low rider cars in neighborhood, Madonnas gracing every tree, wet clothes drying on shrubs, homes now painted paint and turquoise, strumming Mexican musicians, gangs roaming around with the guns from scene one. Ruth, “we can’t go home.”

    INT. HUT – DAY

    Placeholder: Everyone’s phones confiscated.

    ACT 3

    EXT. TURLOCK RANCH – DAY

    All workers become like slaves, spouting communist diktats, like robots.

    INT/EXT. SLAUGHTERHOUSE OR FIELD – DAY

    Fran whispers to doctor “I’ve gotta get out of here.” Doctor, “but how?”

    EXT. SLAUGHTERHOUSE – DAY

    Fran and group digging ditch.

    INT. HUT – DAY

    Fran and the group hunting for something.

    EXT. HUT – NIGHT

    Guard notices something sparkling in grass. He sees Fran’s piece of silver and goes to retrieve it. He picks it up then notices another in the distance, goes to pick it up, eventually falls in shit ditch they dug.

    Fran takes remaining silver set, the steak knives, and jumps in bus. She drives out of there with a doctor, and they head toward Oakland.

    EXT. REMOTE FIELD – DAY

    Doctor trains Fran on tossing knives at scarecrow. They shoot a rat and eat it?

    EXT. MERCED – DAY

    Their bus breaks down. Counterrevolutionaries (underground group) threaten Fran and doc. But they identify as counterrevolutionaries, too. They make them answer a multi-choice test to see if they’re really counterrevolutionaries. They challenge Fran and say “you’re black, how is this possible?” Fran says “wrong zip code.” “How racist.” They help them to continue on their way to Oakland. Give them a phone.

    EXT. SLAUGHTERHOUSE – DAY

    Sandy arrives, learned about Fran’s desertion, tortures hut-mate who objects. “What about the divine consciousness in every human being?” “That’s religious bullshit. Counterrevolutionary.” Once Sandy knows where Fran has gone, he shoots the hut-mate.

    EXT. I-5 OR HWY 99 – DAY

    A line of trucks of revolutionaries in hot pursuit of Fran and friend.

    EXT. MERCED – DAY

    Counterrevolutionaries get word of pursuing revolutionaries, set up intersection with banner of Mao and Marx. Sandy thinks they’re being welcomed. But shoot out ensues. Guns, bombs, etc. One of the counterrevolutionaries throws a gun to Fran and a samurai knife to her friend. They escape, by way of motorcycles?

    EXT. GHETTO – DAY

    Fran watches from afar as PRC health van picks up Ruth and son-in-law. Cuffs them and drives off.

    EXT. URBAN STREETS – DAY

    Fran and friend follow the van to Hospital or clinic. Get caught up in protest with signs that say “Eliminate white people.” They eye Fran, then the doctor (who’s Korean). “What about him?” “I don’t think he’s white.”

    INT. PCR PRECINCT – DAY

    Fran shows up, spouts a lot of Communist jargon and convinces them she’s with the revolution. She demands they replenish her supplies (guns.). They comply and she gets guns.

    INT./EXT. ABORTION CLINIC – DAY

    Fran breaks into clinic. Points gun at abortion doc, “release my daughter.”

    Sandy and revolutionary army break arrive in a tank, guns in hand.

    Counterrevolutionaries show up with hand held missiles. Sandy’s group drops a drone shot but it misses the building. Escalation then a stand-off.

    Sandy confronts Fran. She drops her gun but then stabs Sandy with steak knife. Her doctor neighbor takes the Sumarai sword he was given and fillets a few of the troops into tenderloins, chops, etc. just like on diagram at slaughterhouse. But Sandy kills him.

    EXT. ABORTION CLINIC – DAY

    Counterrevolutionaries set off bombs and Fran, Ruth and son-in-law escape.

    EXT. NEAR NEVADA STATE LINE – NIGHT

    Placeholder: Sandy survives and, with his army, stop them at the border. Last battle. Fran uses info from their therapist session to embarrass him in front of his army (indulgent capitalist past).

    EXT. NEVADA – day

    Fran, Ruth and son in law stopped by a truck, resembling PRC truck. Frightened. But learn it’s full of nice folks (cowboys, prostitutes, PTA leaders, men in suits) who are a welcoming committee. They offer to take them to the hospital.

    INT. HOSPITAL – DAY

    Ruth gives birth to a baby girl. Doctor asks, “What race? Black, white?” They say “who cares, she’s beautiful.”

    What I learned? This is a great way, step by step, to make sure one’s beat sheet incorporates theme and the antagonist’s journey from the get-go.

  • Jeffrey Lehmann

    Member
    September 21, 2021 at 4:35 pm

    Ying’s Beat Sheet 2

    What I learned… I knew intrinsically what the theme is, but it was cool to distill it down to such a simple and strong statement. I also already had the Antagonist Beats worked out, but it was cool to see them actually drawn out in the overall story’s Beat Sheet.


    Beat Sheet 2

    Theme: Strength in diversity

    Act 1: 25 to 30 pages — Set up and see Old Ways.

    Opening: Introduce us to the lead characters in action. Show us the Old Ways as their natural way of being.

    Tutor (Chinese) wanders away from the fortified city of Maoming into the jungle during a full moon where he is surrounded by wildlife. He is dressed in an ungainly maid’s uniform performing kata that looks like a dance. Ting and Long (both 11) spot Tutor and leave Ying (9) behind to play with her doll to capture Tutor.

    Boys arrive just as Tutor is about to commit suicide. Tutor surrenders easily and is tied to a tree at the boys’ hideout. The boys are suddenly attacked by a tiger, but Ying who secretly followed them jumps out and throws her doll at the tiger hitting it on the nose. This surprises the tiger for a moment, just long enough for Tutor to escape and distract the tiger before it can attack the children. As the tiger leaps to kill Tutor, it is shot with arrows mid-jump by Benli and Yan, tribe chiefs and the children’s fathers.

    TE 1- Ying literally throws away her doll to participate in more warrior like pursuits

    Set us up for the journey that starts with the Inciting Incident.

    Tutor is asked to teach the tribe’s children Mandarin and Chinese ways. Ying is an eager learner and even asks to learn the katas Tutor was doing in the Opening. Ying is taught by her father (Benli) to be both an excellent archer and sword fighter at the tribe’s ancient redoubt that has been neglected from lack of use. Transition to 8 years later.

    Antagonist Beat- Sun requests that the Li to submit and pay taxes voluntarily

    Emperor tries to impose taxes on the tribe through Sun. Benli scoffs and tells the emperor that he should be the one taxed!

    Antagonist Beat- Sun attacks the Li People when they refuse to submit

    Sun attacks farming village killing the inhabitants and setting the fields on fire. Benli ambushes Sun and runs them off, but he loses warriors.

    TE 2- Ying starts to open herself to people, cultures, and ideas outside the tribe.

    Inciting Incident: This is the call to go on the journey. It creates the opportunity to live outside the box and take on the New Ways.

    Antagonist Beat- Sun makes deals with other tribes

    Benli wonders whether it is worth the fight and if he should just acquiesce like other tribes. Tutor tells Ying there could be benefits to peace, and Ying recommends her father try it. The two symbols of tribal leadership are a sword and jade necklace. Benli gives the sword to Ting and the necklace to Ying. He suggests to Ying that she might make a good leader, but leaves his chosen successor open.

    TE 3- Ying realizes that there are other ways of doing things besides the tribe’s Old Ways.

    Turning Point: Lock in the journey. There is no going back from here.

    Benli agrees to a peace treaty with Sun,

    Antagonist Beat-Sun decides to murder Benli believing the Xian tribe too strong and Ying and Ting are too young to lead.

    Benli and brother are ambushed and murdered at peace treaty by Sun. Ting, Ying, and most of the warriors barely escape with their lives.

    TE 4- Ting is thrust into a new world with no father to guide her decisions and her tribe in crisis.

    Antagonist Beat-Sun is named Duhu by the emperorto subjugate the natives

    Act 2: 20 to 30 pages — Challenge the Old Ways.

    Reaction: They are now outside the box. It is uncomfortable, maybe unbearable. But the Hero can’t go back. They must move forward in some way.

    Ting and Ying take over the leadership of the tribe, despite being young.

    TE 5- Ying must up her game. She now shares leadership of the tribe with her brother, but he is only into Old Ways

    The Plan: They struggle, flail, and try the first plan that comes to mind…which will quickly fail.

    Ting and Ying lead their tribe against a stronger Sun force using guerilla warfare.

    Antagonist Beat-Sun is frustrated at the success of the tribe’s guerilla warfare

    Tutor suggests learning to think like their enemy, Ting refuses but Ying begins to learn. Ying suggests they refurbish the ancient redoubt and this is done. Ting and Ying both scoff when Tutor suggests allying with Feng Rong the governor of Maoming believing all Chinese to be the same.

    Antagonist Beat- Sun wants the glory for himself and tells Maoming Governor to stay out of his way

    TE 6- Ying starts making independent suggestions for the tribe that are independent of Ting. But, they are still Old Ways.

    With every step, they use their Old Ways, but they don’t work. Those Old Ways are challenged from lightly to heavily.

    Ting and Ying learn of a tax shipment that will both deal Sun a major defeat and bring the tribe much needed funds.

    Antagonist Beat-Sun lures the tribe’s warriors to attack a tax shipment allowing him to attack the defenseless tribe.

    They take all of the tribes warriors except a few of the youngest. The tax shipment is just a decoy to tie up the tribe’s warriors. Sun’s main force attacks the tribal village. Ying leaves to save the tribe while Ting disengages the warriors from the tax shipment battle. Ying rushes back to the village. The tribe has retreated to the redoubt. Ying saves the day and when the warriors return they help defeat Sun’s force.

    Antagonist Beat-Sun is infuriated that his battalion is wiped out by the Li

    Remember, all it takes to challenge the Old Ways is to simply have them not work. You don’t need to have the characters lecture them or directly spell out their Old Ways in dialogue. For now, just create a list of attempts to solve the problem or to make themselves feel better… then have those actions fail or make things worse.

    Turning Point 2: MIDPOINT:The journey is still moving in the same direction, but the meaning has changed in a big way that shifts reality.

    It could be any of these:

    The forces of antagonism are 10 times bigger than we thought.Reality has changed (The Matrix). We’re through the looking glass.The whole first half of the movie was a con.They discover who has been betraying them.Everything they based their success on is wrong!

    Whatever shift you choose, it completely disrupts the Hero’s reality.

    TE 7- Ying has won the battle with her preparations of the redoubt, but the tribe’s village is burnt to the ground… She is losing the war.

    Antagonist Beat- Sun forcefully enlists other tribes to help in war against Xian

    Act 3: 20 to 30 pages — With Midpoint change, Profound moments that give us new ways.

    This Midpoint changes everything.

    This is an important part of the Hero’s transformation.

    A. They have multiple insights into why things weren’t working.B. They see that the Old Ways won’t cut it anymore.C. They must up their game, which means they must change!

    New Plan: Now, the hero creates a new plan and pursues it. With that, they embrace the need to change.

    This could involve training sequences, bringing on new partners, or taking actions they never would have taken during the first half of the movie.

    Ying now embraces Tutor’s suggestions. She reluctantly meets with Feng Rong. She learns Tutor’s katas can be used in fighting and starts practicing this application of the katas. She thinks the movements too slow and not sure how they can help, but then Tutor shows them how they can be used. Ying is amazed. She befriends surrounding tribes.

    Antagonist Beat-Sun asks the emperor to loan part of his army to quell the Li Tribe.

    Turning Point: The “All is lost” or “lowest of the lows” moment where everything has failed.

    Ting feels the recent defeat of Sun’s forces is a golden opportunity for the tribe to attack Sun. Ying does not challenge Ting’s idea, but thinks it is not a good idea.

    Antagonist Beat-Sun lures the Li into attacking.

    The attack fails terribly and Long is killed. The tribe is in full retreat.

    Antagonist Beat- Sun defeats the frontal attack

    Ying has a bad feeling. She smells a trap. Ying sends a scout that races ahead of the retreating tribe. Ying stops the tribe’s warriors at a junction while she waits for the trap to be confirmed. Ting resists but Ying persists until the scout returns.

    Antagonist Beat-Sun has emperor’s men hiding to cut of the tribe’s retreat

    TE 8- Ying begins to see how she is able to lead and even a better leader than her brother and his Old Ways.

    Act 4: 25 pages — Test the change in this character! Prove New Ways!

    With Turning Point 3, the Protagonist embraces a new way, which gives them a fighting chance in Act 4.

    Climax: The Test. This is the ultimate expression of the conflict. Face to face with the Antagonist for the ultimate fight! This is an impossible situation that the Hero can only win with the change they have made in their lives. It is the ultimate expression of the New Ways.

    Ying leads the tribe through a ravine that will be a death trap if her alliances fail. The constriction keeps Sun’s overwhelming forces limited to the fighters in the front.

    Antagonist Beat-Sun is mad that his first trap tailed but eagerly follows the tribe into the canyon sure that it is just as much a trap and deadly for the tribe.

    Ying who has always fired arrows from the back of the battle lines now leads the fight with the combination of her old fighting skills and her new kung fu skills. Her alliances not only hold previously enemy tribes come to their assistance. Her new fighting technique breaks the enemy’s line.

    Antagonist Beat- Sun is defeated and captured as the canyon becomes a trap for him and his men since they cannot easily retreat once the tide has turned.

    TE 9- Ying takes over the leadership of the tribe and proves her new approach is the key to success.

    Resolution: The change has been made or tested. We now see the new status quo of the Hero.

    At the victory celebration, Ting acknowledges Ying as the best leader for the tribe and bequeaths the family sword.

    TE 10- The tribe recognizes that Ying is the best leader.

  • Ed Lusk

    Member
    September 25, 2021 at 1:19 pm

    Ed adds theme and Antagonist Journey

    What I learned from this assignment is I’ve not completely nailed the overall them, and that’s okay! I have thematic elements identified and the big theme circling around my head , I’ll capture it eventually but that’s not stopping the process!

    Act 1:

    SUPER:

    A SINGLE ONLINE POSTS: @HENRYPLOVES TOYS- WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR CHRISTMAS? #TOYS, #CHRISTMAS, #HOTTOYS, #PELZNICKELTOYS

    Slowly replies pop on the screen, faster, and faster, overlapping. Pings, Dings, & Rings, Yet, As fast as they started they fade away. The COMMENTS, LIKES and SHARES are underwhelming.

    INT. PELZNIKEL TOYS FULFILLMENT CENTER – DAY

    Opening – HENRY, 12, wanders through his family’s toy companies fulfillment center. Despite the activity around him his attention is to his phone. He demands attention but gets none. He carries little weight or respect despite being the son of the owner.

    INT. PELZNIKEL FULFILLMENT CENTER – FLOOR – DAY

    Conveyors, forklifts carts, buzz of energy. employees wear santa hats, christmas light necklaces. Elf Ears, Toy orders picked, packed , scanning. Follow a package traversing the network of conveyors

    INT. PELZNIKEL FULFILLMENT CENTER – OFFICE – DAY

    FRANK PELZNIKEL – 40’s , owner , and GEORGE, 50’s, accountant , watch over the floor, concerned more than excited. Business is not robust. A drone buzzes past the window.

    INT. PELZNIKEL FULFILLMENT CENTER – FLOOR – DAY

    Henry Henry flying a drone . Not paying attention he wanders in front of a forklift. The driver jerks away into the sortation belt. Crash – the operation comes to a grinding halt.

    INT. PELZNIKEL FULFILLMENT CENTER – OFFICE – DAY

    Frank and George watch Henry on the floor- Frank – I’ve told him to stay off the floor. Pick’s up a walkie talkie – Get my son off the floor,NOW..

    INT. PELZNIKEL FULFILLMENT CENTER – OUTSIDE OFFICE – DAY

    enry outside off overhearing arguement on order delays. Christmas will be a mascre for those not delivering. Frank , George and another man is a florecent vest agrue over the state of the business – not good, should have gotten into online sales earlier, bonus not paid, man enters – we’re cutting you off, nothing leaves here until we’re paid. Got to work in Henry overhearing this.

    INT. FULLFILMENT CENTER – OFFICE – DAY

    TE1 – Henry jumps on a computer terminal – posting Pelznickel will deliver everyone’s toys by Christmas – Guaranteed! – @Henrylovestoys, #SantaSucks, #SantaEpicFailure, #Santanonbeliever.

    INCITING INCIDENT . Imagery of post sharing , liking, and popping up across the country.

    INT. FULLFILMENT CENTER – OFFICE – DAY

    Stern looking man and a sheriff enter office – shut down Pelznikel Toys for unpaid bills.

    INT. CONTROL ROOM – NIGHT

    A series of monitors, lights, a flashing beacon- List of toy companies , Pelznikel Toys, Close Up , mouth and headgear – Pleznikel Toys has gone off line. A crooked smile unkown origin.

    INT. FULLFILMENT CENTER – OFFICE – DAY

    Frank worst day – reacts to what Henry has done – Henry’s Promise furious – Why don’t you do something useful! Direct Henry his mother needs his help.

    INT. SHOPPING MALL – DAY

    Henry DEJECTED wanders mall past prime days long gone – closed shops, cheaps stores – PELNIKEL TOYS – Hi MOM – CAROL PELZNIKEL – Get’s a hug. Phone PINGS – Henry what did you do? Honey you can’t make promises you can’t keep. You’ve put us in an impossible situation.

    INT. SHOPPING MALL – SANTA CASTLE – DAY

    Lonely Santa – no kids – Locking Up. despite the lack of attention the Santa acting genuine. Henry nothing to loose makes his wish. What do you want for Christmas, Henry ? How you know my name ? Henry – made a promise I want to keep it. SC- most kids ask for toys – H – Most kids dont ruin a family’s legacy. I know a little something about legacy. If you believe your wish will come true, then it will. Here – text for a chance to win a trip to the NP. Henry POV the NP is tacky set up. Santa’s got to stay up with the times. TE#2

    INT. PELZNIKEL HOME – HENRY’S ROOM – NIGHT

    Muffled arguments from downstairs. Phone PINGS – text -‘Window” Neighbor – MARCUS, thick glasses, Dude, what you do? Henry’s optimism vs Marcus reality. Before going to bed Henry text the message from Santa’s card.

    EXT. NIGHT SKY – NIGHT

    Twinkling stars, Snow gently swirls, jingle bells in distance coming closer. Christmas lights flicker. There’s magic in the air.

    INT. HENRY’S ROOM – NIGHT

    Henry’s in deep sleep. There’s a THUMP somewhere above him. Then another, load enough to wake Henry. He stumble from bed, checks the hall, all is quiet. Another thump. He opens the window, no Marcus. He hear jingle of bell from above.

    EXT. PELZNIKEL HOME – ROOF – NIGHT

    A magnificent beast, a reindeer, splendid, turns toward Henry, nods implying for Henry to GET ON.

    INT. HENRY’S ROOM – NIGHT

    Henry scramble to change. Throws a backpack. Leaves phone on night stand.

    EXT. HENRY’s ROOF – NIGHT

    The beast snorts and stomps. Breath steam from nostrils. Henry climbs on it’s back. The reindeer leaps into flight. Henry screams in delight.

    EXT. HENRY’S BEDROOM – ROOF – NIGHT

    INT. ROCHELLE’S BED ROOM – NIGHT

    ROCHELLE, Neighbor, 12, secret admirer. The commotion awakens Rochelle she, looks out the window, see a blur of Henry and Reindeer. By the time she gets his glasses on – GONE.

    EXT. SEATTLE SKYLINE – NIGHT

    Henry and reindeer zoom across the sky diving and climbing among the buildings. Henry shouts a whoo! Circles the Space Needle and are gone into the darkness framed by the moon.

    INT. HENRY’S ROOM – DAY

    Soft knock at the door – MOM enters, searches calls – No Henry – Text phone – PINGS on Table . Runs out -down the hall – FRANK!

    EXT. NORTHPOLE – DAY

    The reindeer circles a castle atop a ice mountain. Waterfalls, crystals. WONDER. Henry – No way!

    INT. NORTHPOLE CASTLE – REINDEER PADDOCK – DAY

    Reindeer lands – EIGHT oak, Mahagony Stalls line the Hallway. Henry Climbs off. He walks outside the other beast, all magnificient. ENTER – SAMWISE – Old STABLE ELF, he got wheel barrel, shovel. Grumbling about Christmas. The reindeer. THERE YOU ARE. Out for a midnight run? Heards the animal back into the stall. Turns to find a STUND HENRY. WHO ARE YOU? Youw want to get me fired? H- You’re an ELF? You’re a human? Not polite – Dude. V Voices – Quick, get in. Henry get’s in Wheel Barrell covered by a blanket. Dialogue getting the sleigh ready for test run. TODAY SAMWISE – Testy Exchange pushing Samwise. You know he does’nt like to be kept waiting. SW-Okay kid spill it, who you working for? Pelznikel Toys – I knew it. I won a tour. Hands over the card. Mistake?

    INT. NORTHPOLE – WORKSHOP – DAY

    Samwise leads Henry through tradtional workshop. ELF’s Hard out work making toys – For show only.

    Henry wanders off – pushes through a hidden door into….

    INT. HENRY’S HOUSE – DAY

    Police – notepads – Frank & Carol Plus Rochelle’s parents – What did Rochelle see? Really can’t say. Heard anything – Yeah Bells – Sleigh Bells? Okay kid. Is this realted to his posts? Any threats?

    INT. NORTH POLE – OFFICES – DAY

    Henry emerges from the hidden door into a corporate offices – cubicles, conferences rooms, the buzz that comes from two days before Christmas. GIANT COUNT DOWN CLOCK, He wanders through – ELFS too busy to notice. SEE – NP Melting relocation plan (find acronym)

    INT – NORTH POLE OFFICES – CONFERENCE ROOM – DAY

    VICE PRESIDENT ELFS – POWERPOINT. ALFREDA is speaking. Data analysis of social media positive results. Voice in the darkness, at what cost, ALFREDA? – All heads turn to SANTA CLAUS – KRIS to the inner circle. Red suite blue jeans – causual shoes. Topic – Negative Posts – Make strong INTRO for ALFREDA – clear she is the Antagonist in the story.

    INT. NORTH POLE OFFICES – DAY

    Samwise catches up to Henry. Qucik disguise-elf hat pulled down low, a vest. Through the glass conference room the two are spotted – Kris taps on the glass, motioned to come in. SW – Don’t say a word.

    INT. CONFERNCE ROOM – DAY

    Samwise and Henry – enter. Henry sees his posts on the conference room screen!

    Dialogue with Santa about sleigh ready and new navigation system. Henry in AW nad surprise of Santa’s Appearence. Ready to go. Welcome to the NP…? Henry, KRIS – Henry.

    Who is this? Winter Intern. Alfreda – I started in the stables as well, and look at me now. Henry only nods and smiles. Alfreda sense of recognition but from where??? Strong sense of suspicion from Alfreda regarding Henry. She did not invite him then who did, why?

    INT. NORTH POLE OFFICES – DAY

    Samwise hustles Henry out of there before anymore questions. I don’t know who you are but your not getting me fired I got one more Christmas to go. Nine Days to go to retirement. I got a pension to worry about.

    INT. REINDEER PADDOCK – DAY

    The paddock is empty – reindeer are gone. Samwise goes to get Henry a ride home. Henry wanders off. Samwsie returns with a old animal of somesort.Henry? Kid wanders off more than a penguin.

    INT. NORTH POLE – AIRSTRIP – DAY

    On the strip -there it is- Sleigh and Reindeer. It’s impressive deep red and gold. The reindeer, obedient, magastic. Henry – WOW. He marvels at it. Samwise finds him. Kid – get away from there! Henry climbs up into the sleigh. SW – No , No No. SW jumps in the back. Henry takes the REINS – No not the before he can finish the sleigh whooh is off, Samwise nearly thrown off. He climbs back on. The sleigh circles the castle.. TURNING POINT ACT 1

    INT. NORTH POLE CONFERENCE ROOM

    Through the glass windows, Kris attention is drawn outside – the other VP’s follow his look. They jump out of their seats watch the sleigh swoop towards the window, it going to hit before it zips away.

    INT. SANTA’S OFFICE – DAY

    The panic room, ELF rushing about trying to get the sleigh back. Tech ELF – I don’t understand – it’s not responding. FIX IT! ALFREDA – Powerplay – Not yet. Let’s not panic – yet. Old Sleigh – no reindeer. Let Johnathan and his team do their jobs. Alfreda’s got a plan – seizes the moment here.

    EXT. NIGHT SKY – NIGHT

    With Henry at the reigns the sleigh bobs and weaves about barely under control. Samwise yelling instructions, Henry’s failing at it. Land it!

    EXT. TOP OF SEATTLE SPACE NEEDLE – NIGHT

    The sleigh lands – H & SM – Do you know what you’ve done? Borrow it , got something to do. SW-You don’t know these people. Dialogue about Alfreda & helping Santa regain popularity. Henry’s PLAN.

    ACT 2

    INT. PELZNIKEL TOYS FULLFILMENT CENTER – NIGHT

    NEW PLAN GOAL – Get these toys delivered!! Big overhead door raises, Rochelle is there? Or Later? closed up – quiet – the sleigh arrives pulls in and lands. Rochelle is amazed. Who’s that? SW I was an ELF up to now. Need to load up the pending orders. Start by hand until SW introduces some magic.

    Voice – technically those belong to the bank. H-technically noted, Let’s ride.

    NOTE – WHEN TO GET Basil BACK INTO STORY

    INT. NORTH POLE – SANTA’S OFFICE – DAY

    THE TIME LOCK – COUNT DOWN CLOCK TO CHRISTMAS -SC – I’ve never missed a Christmas. To Alfreda. – I can’t let that happen. SC – any ideas to my sleigh back?

    EXT. NIGHT SKY – NIGHT

    Henry’s at the reigns. The sled over a populated area. Henry spots something. He takes the sleigh down.

    INT. LOCAL TV WEATHER PERSON STUDIO – DAY

    Weather person finds Henry on Radar – Texts – ALFREDA !

    EXT. FAST FOOD DRIVE THOUGH – NIGHT

    The sleigh is parked at the window. Samwise is protesting – Henry just what he wanted. Cell phones are everywhere – posting !

    EXT. SUBURBAN ROOF TOPS – NIGHT

    Henry and Samwise busy delivering Pelznikel Toy orders. Stop for SELFIES – POSTS!

    EXT. ROMANTIC SETTING – NIGHT

    TE5 Henry finds and deals with the fact his neighbor Rochelle has a crush on him. Is she on a roof, does Henry see her? Signal?

    INT. ALFREDA’S OFFICE – DAY

    MIDPOINT TURNING POINT Alfreda pulls up the “NAUGHTY LIST” sends out a video message via a ZOOM like meeting. A – Christmas is in jeopardy like never before. Stop Henry Pelznikel! All Cost- We see what Samwise warned Henry about Alfreda here. She is ruthless!

    EXT. LOCATION – BLANK SCREEN – DAY

    Another explosion of posts, comments, shares, Henry Pelznikel wants to destroy christmas – must be stopped!!

    EXT. MOUNT RUSHMORE – NIGHT Via Rochelle’s Phone – HENRY DISCOVERS HE’s HATED – NOT LOVED – DEstroyer of Christmas? WHAT? TIME CLOCK – sleigh back in time for christmas – But I’m not finished! Halfway to go. SW- Get the sleigh back, rest the reindeer load it up and HOOEVES UP Christmas eve. SW- HAS A WATCH-COUNT DOWN.

    EXT. LAS VEGAS STRIP – NIGHT

    TE – Henry’s gaming knowledge Billboards filled with Henry’s & SW images. SW- Alfreda , now were finished. First encounter with the Naughty List intervention & Escape. Fire rokets snares off top of Vegas resort. Kid hanging on a rope, dropped into pool or fountain. ACTION SCENE!

    Act 3:

    EXT. BEAUTIFUL LOCATION – SLEIGH – SKY – NIGHT

    RETHINK EVERYTHING

    Rethink everything – TE8- New plan-Henry accepts the real reason he was brought to the North Pole and Santa’s secret mission for him to save it. Henry discovers the beauty of the outdoors. Questions SW on what the acronym means – regards melting NP and relocation. HP- Can’t have Santa’s NP in ATL.

    EXT. LOCATION – NIGHT

    Henry launches counter message using Basil. She sent away with news – North Pole is melting needs to relocate. How and where?

    INT. LOCAL NEWSROOM – DAY

    News flash – the North Pole is melting. Seeking relocation assistance. Cities are in a frenzy.

    EXT. CLEVELAND – DAY

    Mayor giving a pitch on relocation. Cold, windy, barren. Northcoast of America.

    INT. TEXAS GOVERNOR’S OFFICE – DAY

    Texas governor , surrounded by cowboy hat wearing aides gives his NP pitch – long as they don’t bring their NP values to TX.

    EXT. FLORIDA – DAY

    Bright sunny Florida Pitch – we got snow birds we take elves.

    INT. NORTH POLE OFFICES – DAY

    Santa’s watching TV reports of NP relocation pitches. He is suiting up. Expects the sleigh back. Questions Alfreda about how this news was leaked?

    INT. ALFEDA’s OFFICE – NIGHT

    Idea is hatched – yes of course why not think of that before. Alfreda has a network of “friends” she’s political influencer.

    EXT. TOP OF SAINT LOUIS ARCH – NIGHT

    Turning Pint HUGE Failer – The Sleigh lands – a light snow begins to fall. The Reindeer paying close attention to it. Alarms Samwise – he knows something is up. Of course – Snow Flake Messenger. SW-Kid you got to set the SLEIGH go. Henry is about to, except only sets the reindeer free. SW- Goes with them. You’ve done all you can. Henry does, the sleigh rocks and slides down the arch – CRASH!

    Act 4:

    EXT. SAINT LOUIS ARCH – NIGHT

    Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict – TE9 Alfreda and Henry battle on top of the Saint Louis Arch for the sleigh- Alfreda – “Fun and games are over Henry, it’s time for Christmas.”

    PLACE HOLDER Bridge the abandoned Henry to North Pole saving plan

    EXT. NORTH POLE – DAY

    Henry watches as – Thousands of flying animals all species, fly around the NP, faster and faster, creating wind, forcing away the warm air bring cold and snow back.

    EXT. NORTH POLE – DAY

    Christmas morning – Santa’s sleigh return to North Pole shocked to see it frozen once again.

    INT. PELZNIKEL TOYS FULFILLMENT CENTER – OFFICES – DAY

    Resolution TE11 HenryHenry does not take credit for saving the North Pole despite it would restore his reputation and gain millions of followers Santa & Henry resolution over Christmas meaning You made a differnce millions Henry. How about a selfie – No thanks.

    EXT. NORTH POLE – DAY

    Alfreda – posting the her plan saving to millions of followers , then hits DELETE.

    INT. PELZNIKEL TOYS FULFILLMENT CENTER – BREAK ROOM – DAY

    Henry enters the breakroom. It’s dark. The lights go on – There’s a big surprise party for Henry.

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