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Post Day 9 Assignment Here
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Matthew Frendo’s Favorite Twists!
What I learned doing this assignment was how to incorporate twists into an action script.
It Just Got Worse – After Jacob beats up a few of Nestor’s goons, he sends his best man with 8 brutal cage fighters after Jacob.
Trap/Trick – Nestor has some addicts he sells to spread a rumor that Jacob is responsible for the murder of a child that Nestor killed.
Surprising Response – After Jacob kills a man, he sends the man’s head to Nestor on the river.
Surprising Response – One of the mercenaries sent after Jacob knows who he is and how good a black ops agent he was…and promptly gives up the money, refusing to go after him.
Surprising Alliance – The local thug who was working with Nestor against Jacob joins Jacob instead, ashamed of how he went against his town and people for a drug dealer.
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Cameron Martin’s Favorite Twists!
What I learned doing this assignment is…how to categorize different twists and turns. Between Robert McKee’s “Story” and analyzing the anime “Death Note” (the YouTube channel JustWrite has an excellent essay on this), twists or reversals were something of a known necessity. As Robert McKee puts it, if a scene doesn’t conclude with a turning of events, then it is a non-event and nothing worth watching actually happened. But this is a great way to further develop that skill of establishing twists throughout a story that tell keep an audience engaged, by recognizing a number of different ways twists can be set up and paid off either immediately, such as the cop scene from John Wick, or later on, such as the reveal that John Wick is not just a humble widower, but a force of nature to the criminal underworld. Essentially, twists aren’t just the Shyamalan kind, but can be woven into and throughout a story for a rich, engaging, and ultimately fun experience.
1. Set-Up: Janus is rewarded for her skill as a warrior, protector, and compassionate individual.
Twist: The reward is knowledge that leads to the sacrifice of an innocent life – Janus the protector of life and the innocent commits murder.
2. Set-up: Janus is captured, alone, and surrounded by enemies, and one mute man stalks her, appearing ready to strike.
Twist: The mute turns out to be an important ally.
3. Set-up: Janus is torn limb from limb.
Twist: Janus is even stronger that she realizes and can’t be killed by corporal measures.
4. Set-up: Janus’s other half, her duplicate, is her most important ally and closest friend.
Twist: Janus’s other half is her worst enemy that almost kills her.
5. Set-up: Adam is a merciful and neighborly deity.
Twist: Adam is a psychopathic mass-murderer.
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Rebecca’s Favorite Twists
What I learned from this assignment is that by using this method can provide interesting situations and added opportunities for engaging action.
Danger/Safety
Ragman confronts Bucholtz and ready to fight. The commander’s men surround Ragman with cocked pointed guns. Bucholtz orders his men to stand down and keep the confrontation only between him and Ragman.
Identity Exposed
Bucholtz pulls Ragman close and whispers that he is the 17th man, the officer Ragman chose not to kill in the war.
Unexpected Weapon
Bucholtz brags about raping Ragman’s wife. Before Ragman can pull away, Bucholtz bites off his ear lobe. When Ragman pulls away, Bucholtz wraps a whip around Ragman’s neck and pulls it tight.
Things Get Worse
Ragman’s choices: being choked to death by Bucholtz or shot by one of his men; either way he dies.
Last second save
A shotgun blast gets startles everyone to freeze in place. The township constable and his deputies intervene to arrest Ragman and take him away.
Trap/Trick and Escape
Ragman’s brother, the Carpenter, is tricked onto Company property, ambushed, beaten, and locked in a jail cell by Bucholtz and his men. Ragman and Albert show up and surprised the jailers to help their brother escape.
Reversal/ Reversal Reversed
Ragman holds a shotgun on the jailers as Albert gets the keys. Ragman’s shotgun flies out of his hands when attacked from behind by another jailer, the gun landing in a horse stall. Ragman takes on his ambusher to keep him from the gun. Three other jailers attack Albert before he can open the cell.
Unexpected Weapon/ Another Reversal
Three other jailers attack Albert, a former Marine and Pacific Fleet boxing champion. He decks two of the men. The third man surprises him by being almost as skilled in the sport and a dirty fighter. Albert finds himself against the jail cell bars as Ragman struggles to retrieve his shotgun, fighting off both the jailer and the horse.
Danger/ Safety
A scream from the horse stall, startles Albert’s attacker allowing Albert to knock him out. Albert and his brother lock all the jailers in their own cell and escape with the prisoners on a rail hand car.
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Subject line: Joan’s Favorite Twists! What I learned doing this assignment is that looking for twists gives different layers and meanings to characters and events.
Go through your outline and rethink it as a series of twists. Add in any twists that you feel will improve it.
Bladen’s Revenge
Plan succeeds for Bladen’s parents to get mortgage for house.
Plan fails because it’s two different mortgages which they cannot pay.
It Just Got Worse Bank foreclosed on Bladen’s parents home.
Bladen’s fight with bullies. FIGHT LOST FIRST; It Just Got better. MAN TAUGHT HIM TAE KWON DO
INCITING INCIDENT
Plan succeeds for Bladen’s grandmother to invest her retirement money.
Plan fails because the stocks are fake and she loses her money using Bulwark bank where Ansaca is CEO.
Bladen thought he’d forgiven, but this brought back memories of being homeless and he now wanted revenge.
Unexpected support – has meeting of three people he knows from their coming to restaurant whose names are in paper as losing money. One of them is the new police chief’s mother. Police Chief visits Bladen and gives him verbal support.
Deceived – Surprising Truth Bulwark bank official, Hank Smith who set up his Grandmother’s account. When Bladen leans on him by throwing a knife and just missing his chin and hitting the wall. He tells that Ansaca made up the deal and told them they had to sell it or be canned. Their children needed food. Bladen told him he’d better give him more facts or his children were going to be fatherless. So he told Bladen about the banking convention. And gave Bladen his credentials for getting in. Surprising Information to help.
Bladen disguises as Hank Smith who is unable to go to Convention of Banking CEOs because Bladen threatened to make his children orphans.
Deceived – Surprising Truth SCENE VILLAIN 4 Ansaca asks Hank how the deals are going to cheat the elderly out of their money. Hank says it’s going really well. Except for one. You know what to do if they renege on the deal, bring out the fake papers that show they invested double the amount.
Ansaca brags at the Convention of Banking CEOs to Hank Smith that no one could break into his bank and steal any amount of money and definitely couldn’t transfer funds out of the bank without him and his team knowing it.
SCENE VILLAIN 5 Ansaca states he will kill anyone who passes his security points.
Deceived – Surprising Truth
SCENE HERO MISSION 3 Bladen heard from Chase Newhouse, his old neighbor that he had condemning evidence from foreclosed homes that would put Ansaca in jail. He sends the same information to Ansaca. The party is trying to get the most money from either Bladen or Ansaca. Then decides he’ll let them both know and let them race to see who gets there first.
Trap/Trick – ESCAPE
SCENE ACTION 4 Chase to get to Craig Newhouse first, would get the information. He didn’t know that Ansaca also knew about Craig. Turns out that Ansaca’s men got there first and beat Craig up and took the papers he had. When Bladen got there, Craig said in his dying breath, “What you seek is gone.”
Bladen decided to hide out to see if anyone else came looking for the papers.
Actually, his car ran out of gas. He sent one of his guys to look. They came back and told him about the note.
Ansaca said, Huh. I think Bladen has it. “If Bladen enters my bank, I’m going to kill him.” One of his buddies said, he might not have the information with him. Ansaca says no one has the incriminating evidence except for me. Not to worry.
SCENE VILLAIN 6 Ansaca said no one could get to him. He had people in high places and people hidden who would stop anyone from breaking into his bank or his home. No one, especially not anyone from that decrepit neighborhood could get him arrested.
FIRST TURNING POINT AT END OF ACT 1
SCENE VILLAIN 7Ansaca finds out that Bladen has been asking questions about the security of his bank. He asks his Security team to investigate to find out who Bladen is and would he be able to do it. His team can’t find anything about Bladen at first
SCENE VILLAIN 8 Then he discovers that he has a restaurant. He sends guys to check out the restaurant. They come back saying it’s legitimate and that Ansaca should eat there. Ansaca says he has nothing to fear from Bladen. Bladen in disguise serves them food. Bladen chops things in fine little pieces.
SCENE HERO MISSION 4 Bladen as adult works with Security Systems. Bladen investigates the security company that set up the security. He’d seen their trucks at the bank a few weeks before. Knew what kind of set up they were famous for.
SCENE ACTION Broke in to security company’s computer and stole secrets to locks on Bulwark Bank and Ansaca’s home.
SCENE HERO MISSION 5 Bladen goes to bank to look around. One of the
guards spots Bladen and he has to depart quickly.
SCENE ACTION 9 They chase Bladen in one room and another in the loft area where the safety deposit boxes are stored. Bladen excapes through elevator inside the vault. He notes what he has to do next time…sees the kind of locks they have. Combination key, electronic, and fingerprint – no it’s saliva – spit empowered opening.
SCENE VILLAIN 9 Escalation: Ansaca calls Bladen on the phone and asks him what’s up with his scouting expedition. Tells Bladen he’s onto him and his grandparents’ home is in jeopardy if Bladen does more investigating. DIRECT ORDER TO KILL ON SIGHT: Ansaca orders his men to kill Bladen if he is caught inside the vaults in the bank.
SCENE HERO MISSION 6 Breaks in and enters bank in disguise to see safety box in vault. He discovers papers that prove Ansaca’s guilt in the oversell of mortgages and foreclosures.
SCENE ACTION Bladen finds out the vaults are empty. They don’t have anything in them. He figures they must be at Ansaca’s home.
Identity or Plan Exposed =Identity Hidden
SCENE HERO MISSION 7 Mid-Point Bladen calls on his 7 playground buddies who are now in high places in CIA, SWAT team, Makeup and disguises in Hollywood. Full out Attack: Using Seven Strategies they kidnap Ansaca’s guards and take their places.
Plan Succeeds Plan Fails Plan Succeeds SCENE ACTION 7 GUYS GET INTO ANSACA’S HOME.
Second Turning Point at end of Act 2 –
Identity or Plan Exposed =Identity
HiddenSCENE VILLAIN 10 Ansaca hides out in his home thinking Bladen is only interested in the money in the vaults at the bank. Sends his highest skilled men to watch out for Bladen.TURNS OUT THE GUYS PLAY CARDS, DRINK BEER AND Bladen leaves beer bottles with whiskey in them so they are so loaded they can’t walk.
CRISIS
POSITIVE TO A NEGATIVE TWIST SCENE VILLAIN 11 Ansaca kidnaps who he believes is Bladen. And relaxes at the beach thinking everything is okay. It was a fake Bladen that he kidnapped.
SAFETY TO DANGER SCENE HERO MISSION 8 Ansaca goes to bank alone. He puts documents he needs from vault in a big briefcase and is about to escape when Bladen stands in front of him blocking his exit. And real Bladen gets inside vaults. Bladen pins guards to the wall with his knives and daggers. He hogties them and mummifies them with ropes and huge double-sided cellophane tape.
CLIMAX
PLAN FAILS -PLAN SUCCEEDS SCENE HERO MISSION 9 Ansaca and Bladen meet face to face at the beach. Ansaca has a briefcase with him. Bladen gets the briefcase. His seven guys surround Ansaca and arrest him. Bladen’s men transfer all Ansaca’s money and assets to bank account in Switzerland. Ansaca has to step down as CEO and thinks he’s off free except the CIA/FBI arrest him for fraudulently mishandling money and approving loans for people who can’t afford to pay them back. Plus in the briefcase files they find proof that he killed yada yada yada and his family.
New Threat – Unexpected Support SCENE ACTION 8 Bladen does Tae Kwon Do and forces Ansaca to drop his briefcase. His seven guys hold him for the police to come to arrest Ansaca for murdering and a family and cheating people out of money on mortgages and fraudulently scamming his grandmother’s savings and others.
Plan Succeeds Plan Fails Plan Succeeds
SCENE HERO MISSION 10 Ansaca is arrested; goes to Federal Penitentiary in Solitary Confinement while trial goes on. Epilog: Behind bars in federal prison in solitary confinement; Trial ends 3 years later. In prison for the rest of his life; no parole allowed.
Plan Succeeds SCENE HERO MISSION 11 Money distributed to families who lost homes and money in foreclosures.
Five Favorite twists:
NEW THREAT – UNEXPECTED SUPPORT
PLAN FAILS -PLAN SUCCEEDS
SAFETY TO DANGER POSITIVE
TWIST TO NEGATIVE TWIST
IDENTITY OR PLAN EXPOSED – IDENTITY HIDDEN or Plan Hidden
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Dwight Tincher’s Favorite Twists!
What I learned during this assignment is that this is a great way to add depth and intrigue to the script.
Danger – Safety One of the hero’s team is about to be attacked by the giant beast when our hero jumps in to save him while risking her own life.
New threat – Unexpected support Our hero is about to be attacked by a lion when an unexpected ally saves her.
Plan fails – Plan succeeds After our hero’s transportation and communications are disabled and can no longer continue the hunt the team manages to MacGyver the transportation and get back in the game.
Identity or plan exposed – Identity hidden Our hero’s friend is exposed as a traitor and escapes only to show up again later.
Deceived – Surprising truth Our hero’s belief in her father’s past history turns out not to be true.
Attacked = Protected I already have this set up in the story 3 times.
Lost resources – New resources After losing most of their equipment during the poachers escape the hero’s team acquires new resources when they take the poachers down later.
It just got worse – It just got better In the final confrontation, the hero’s team has no more rifles, her father has been seriously injured by the giant beast, the other two surviving team members have also been seriously injured, and their transportation is severely damaged. The giant beast charges in for the kill when the team manages to kill it.
Unexpected weapon – Surprising response One of the hero’s team has a cute, friendly little pet monkey who always hides from danger until his master is about to be killed by one of the poachers. The monkey springs into action attacking the poacher and saving his master’s life.
Trap/trick – Escape This one is used by the poachers. The head poacher is an escape artist and releases himself from his handcuffs, frees his fellow poachers and they escape.
Reversal – Reverse the reversal Just when our hero captures her friend/traitor, the traitor turns the table and stabs our hero and escapes.
I am planning on using all the twists in my screenplay, if after it is done some don’t work, I can always cut/change them then.
My five favorite twists are, in no particular order; Identity – Identity/plan exposed – Identity hidden, unexpected weapon – surprising result, new threat – unexpected support, deceived – surprising truth, and It just got worse – It just got better.
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Brenda Lynn’s Favorite Twists!
What I learned doing this assignment is that creating twists makes the story more intriguing and exciting. It is great to have this technique in my wheelhouse.
My FIVE favorites:
1) It Just Got Worse ============== It Just Got Better
It Just Got Worse: Lisa finds out that someone at the FBI has reported back to Marcus that they know where the painting is.
It Just Got Better: She knows the location of the painting.
2) Trap/Trick ===================== Escape
Trap/Trick: Lisa has just recovered the painting, but Marcus and his crew have arrived.
Escape: She hides the painting and climbs to the rooftop.
3) Danger ========================= Safety
Danger: Lisa’s position is jeopardized with Marcus discovers a mole in his group.
Safety: They make love and Lisa feels that her position is secure.
4) Unexpected Weapon ============= Surprising Response
Unexpected Weapon: Lisa battles her way out of the pursuit on the rooftop.
Surprising Response: The FBI fires at her as well as Marcus.
5) Reversal ====================== Reverse the Reversal
Reversal: Lisa turns the painting over to the FBI.
Reverse the Reversal: The painting is a counterfeit.
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Tarina’s Favourite Twists!
“What I learned doing this assignment is…?”
I struggled in the beginning but in the end had so much fun doing it and the story and plot as well as the characters are so much better. Think I am going to leave it a few days and keep on adding twists or changing them till they are amazing! I used betrayal, a surprising alliance, it just got worse and trap.
Danger
========================= Safety <div>New
Threat ====================== Unexpected SupportPlan
Fails ========================Plan SucceedsIdentity
or Plan Exposed ============ Identity HiddenDeceived
====================== Surprising TruthBetrayal
======================= Surprising AllianceAttacked
====================== ProtectedLost
Resources ================= New ResourcesIt
Just Got Worse ============== It Just Got BetterUnexpected
Weapon ============= Surprising ResponseTrap/Trick
===================== EscapeReversal
====================== Reverse the Reversal1. OPENING
V23 Millionaire maniac using a global assassination program to take over the economy, politics, and power in the world.
V4 The global assassination program is already working – he can give assassination orders to ordinary people with subliminal waves through the internet. This makes every person a weapon.
A1 Shows secretary, bodyguard, and driver busy on the internet in the morning or night before the attacks. They kind of stare into the screen blink for a long moment and continue as if nothing happened.
A3 A secretary suddenly throws her boss off the balcony looking dazed afterword’s not understanding what happened.
A4 A bodyguard pulls his weapon and shoot his client.
A5 A driver with a senator drives full speed into oncoming traffic.
A2 Several world leaders and influencers are assassinated by people they know and trust. Chaos erupts all over the world in the matter of hours (as seen on news bulletins that report on the incidents above)
2. THE INCITING INCIDENT
V1 Krueger have a plan and it is in place before the Nina knows it.
V2 He have unlimited money and resources.
V3 Unlimited bad guys to fulfil the hitman contract.
V16 He has an elaborate plan to take her out before she can shut down the program.
M11 Krueger uses everyday people to hunt her down as well as all his contacts and money. He has unlimited resources
M4 Krueger knows she have the code in her head that can destroy the global assassination program that his father forced her parents to develop.
A6 Nina is working in her office. Suddenly some of her colleagues start to act strangely (zombie like). More and more of them are joining. They start to converge on her with all sorts of office weapons. Scissors, plants, mail openers and bare hands. First one start to attack then another then another. They start to back her into a corner. No one is speaking. Suddenly they all start to attack, clubbing her, trying to fight and strangle her.
A7 It shows Nina evading and fighting free from her attackers. Confused she flee to safety; her heart is clearly racing she is trembling and anxious. Fighting to catch her breath she gets dizzy and pass out. She comes to with voices of concern from strangers around her. She pushes the people away and get to her feet stumbling away in a daze. Flashes of 54321
M6 When the girl starts to fear for her life the first clue to the puzzle unlocks in her brain
A8 She is feeling worse and worse… stumble and passes out again. When she comes too, she is not only seeing the flashes but also hearing her mother’s voice – find this…. find this…. find this. She knows she is not safe and go to a locker at a train station and retrieve a bag. In the bathroom of the train station, she violently vomits… confusion is clear… why is she sick… what happened in the office…
Looking in the bathroom mirror the flashbacks and hearing her mother’s voice are now mixed with images from her past. She is in clear discomfort and still being sick. Conversations with her parents, telling her to always be ready to flee, always have more than one route out… flashes of Krueger’s lab with her and her parents in it…. Flashes of a much younger her running, fleeing, and crying, shots fired and fires ablaze behind her. Trying to take control she washes her face and take some deep breaths. Take a cap, wig, jacket, and sunglasses out of the bag. Cash and passports as well as a cell phone are seen in the bag.
3. END OF ACT ONE: FIRST TURNING POINT
M7 She needs to find the operatives that kept her save after she escaped waiting to testify against Krueger’s father. She trusts them to watch her back while she unlocks the puzzle in her head.
M8 Girl’s mission: Find the operatives that protected her.
She is on a train, still violently ill, vomiting and now with headache and still dizziness and confusion. Flashbacks are stronger and stronger. She takes out the phone switch it on and dial the only number in the contact list – saying one word before shutting it off. She passes out again. More of her past are remembered as well as the new flashback of the bar of candy and her mother’s voice.
She is looking sicker than before… the flashes are violently and continuous at this stage. The train stops and she stumbles out… almost faint as steps onto the platform. People are looking strangely at her. She mumbles and continue her way bumps into a strong body. Arms take hold of her as she finally faints and carry her away. Three men are seen around her – confusion, concern and anger in their voices and behavior.
She comes too and are still confronted with her mother’s voice and the flashes. Vomits. Some more memories from her past. She explains to the men what happened. It becomes clear that they were the ones protecting her after her escape from the lab and before she gave evidence to put Krueger’s father away
V24 Now we find out she have special brain capabilities; she has a code locked in her head. (This we now understand because of all the flashbacks that gave us this information.)
M13 New Mission: After she contact the operatives and they find her, she must follow the breadcrumb trail over the world to unlock the code, stay alive while being hunted down and stop the program.
M9 Unlock the puzzles in her head.
M10 Destroy the global assassination program with the code in her head.
A9 Krueger finds out that she is still alive…Facial recognition software recognized her even with the wig and sunglasses. Find them, use all assets available at her last known location.
One of his thugs – start to follow them. He and one of the operatives clearly look at each other with recognition. Something is brewing here. Find the operatives that protected her last time and kill them… put a bounty on her head. The bounty is an insane amount to kill her, but it will also pay for each operative taken out. Use facial recognition software and have the global assassination program ready for target. She must die – TODAY
Together with the operatives she goes on the internet and search the flashback 54321 when looking at the image on the screen her head are filled with conversations with her parents that where locked away. In it she learns she must solve the flashback puzzles to get the kill code for the program that she knows existed, but thought was destroyed with her parents. She now only finds out that the code is locked in her brain, and it was put there by her parents as a failsafe to the program. She now knows it is in use and she must stop it. The moment she saw the image and heard her parents voices she started to feel better.First fight with several fighters… they must get away with limited resources.
M5 This is not only about the code in her head. It is also personal for him. He also wants to avenge his father’s imprisonment and death. He uses all his money, contacts, and the global assassination program to hunt her down.
V13 He knows her parents created the global assassination program and gave up their lives so that she could escape and stop the program.
V14 He hates her guts for escaping and he knows how intelligent she is and that the kill code to his program is with her…his father always thought that she was more valuable than he was.
V17 He knows that she was the one to lead the government to capture his father and provide the evidence needed to lock him in prison for life. So, his father valued her more than him, yet she was the one that lead to his imprisonment. Even after that his father always talked of her capabilities in awe. He is jealous of her.
V18 He also keeps her responsible for the death of his father in prison. (His father’s death pushed him over his last bit of sanity and as revenge on the world he wants to fulfil his father’s wish to use the global assassination program to reshape the world economy, politics, and power. Their family will be reborn and reshape the world to his wishes. Even in death he still wants to show his father his worth.
V10 He knows her very well as he was the only other kid in the underground lab where she and her parents were held captive, and he would use to torment her for his own pleasure.
V11 He was part of her trauma back then by bullying her to win his father’s approval.
V15 He knows all her weaknesses as well as all her trauma and he intend to use it in every way he can.
In their last encounter he almost beat her to death and tried to rape her to degrade her and make her brake to his will. In bad shape she fights him off and end up thrusting a paper knife into his groin. His father laughs at his poor attempt of being a man… of having power. She flees shortly after the incident while he is still in the lab’s sick bay. Lost his manhood.
M2 Her parents died to give her a chance to escape and deliver the evidence so that Krueger’s father can be put away in prison. They also locked the code in her brain as safeguard to the program.
M3 After years in captivity, she loves the freedom of her new world that came at a terrible cost. Only now it is threatened by the son of the man that held her captive all those years ago – now he uses the world she loves to hunt her down.
While in a coffee shop one of the operative excuses himself to the bathroom, when he walks in the thug from the train station looks back at him from the mirror.
A10 Together with the operatives she goes on the internet and search the flashback 54321 when looking at the image on the screen her head are filled with conversations with her parents that where locked away. In it she learns she must solve the flashback puzzles to get the kill code for the program that she knows existed, but thought was destroyed with her parents. She now knows it is in use and she must stop it. The moment she saw the image and heard her parents voices she starts to feel better.
Soon after he comes back from the bathroom, they are attacked by several of Krueger’s operatives.
After evading the attack, they collect some guns and hardware from a safe house. Start to figure out where to go next. Second flashback occur. This time the picture of a building. She is starting to feel ill again. The thug is seen across the street from them and soon after there are several explosions. They need to keep on the move. Camera’s pick them up through facial recognition and Kruegers men are hot in pursuit as well. On a tube they must fight off several civilians that were on their phones while traveling with them and suddenly started to attack them. They are in every city available on demand on a moment’s notice.
Show the train driver on his phone… and then start to speed up way past safe speeds for the train while they are fighting off the civilians. Krueger will kill hundreds of people to kill her.
The operative that made contact with the thug fight his way to the front of the train and kill the driver – what will he do… another operative appears, and he slows the train down to a standstill and they get out on the tracks.
M12 She needs the internet to unwrap the layers of puzzles but every time she uses it, his opportunities to kill her become better and better.
MIDPOINT
M16 Can she trust the operatives to keep her safe, can she trust her own abilities? Fight and run, fight, and run. She keeps getting new flashbacks and each new one makes her violently ill. Is she interpreting the pieces correctly? Suddenly she starts to get the first flashback again. Did she screw up?
V5 Hunt her down. Still fighting of Krueger’s men and trying to get to the next puzzle piece. Car chase. This time the thug is also in a car chasing them. The operative he contacted are driving as soon as they evaded and killed those chasing them and the thug is the last one, he slows down and start to follow the thug. Confusion is clear in Nina’s actions. The other operatives are calm and collected as if this is totally normal. Did she misjudge them. She tries to escape but she is so ill that by just holding her they can easily subdue and control her.
They drive into a very old factory, there are clear signs of someone working and living there. The operatives get out of the car and greet the thug like old friends. She is so ill that she can only watch through the window as they discuss something gesturing to her and looking at her.
The one that made the contact with the thug comes to the car and motion to her to get out. She tries to run but he scoops her up with ease and take her into the living quarters of the thug where he and the rest of the team are waiting.
The thug removes some of his clothing and she recognizes him as one of the guards that were always on duty with her parents. He was especially mean to them.
The operatives give her some refreshments and the thug take out a medical kit and drip bag to give her some medication for the vomiting and replenish her fluids. They explain to her that it was because of the guard that she was able to escape all those years ago. The meanness a front that he and her parents devised so that he was to be posted more times with them and that gave them the opportunity to work on her. He has stayed with Krueger all these years but as a double agent. He stayed on her tail and always followed her all these years as this was his promise to his friends, her parents that he would look after her and keep her safe. He contacted the operatives after her escape, and they have been working together since to keep her safe. They wanted to give her the normal life that she never had and therefore did in such a way that she wouldn’t know. He is now able to give them valuable information.
V9 Every time she uses the internet, she opens the window to use the global assassination program (she needs the internet to unlock the puzzles in her brain)
A13 (In both movies, the Heroes are still on their same journey, but something significant has changed. This gives a different meaning to the second half of the movie.) This may still need some work.
5. END OF ACT TWO: SECOND TURNING POINT
M14 Krueger gets to know the identity of one of the operatives protecting her before the thug gives them the information about how the global assassination program works, he went onto the internet and are influenced by the program. He continues as normal, but something has shifted. He looks at the rest of the team with calculation.
He starts to put himself in a position to take them out. He surprises them and take out one operative with a headshot even before they realize what’s happening. They barely escape and now they are hunted by their own and he knows their tactics and plans. He keeps dodging their heels and are relentless in his pursuit.
M15 When he almost succeeds and his team must kill him, they understand the futility of what they are trying to do. They lost two of their own and the rest of Krueger’s men are still hot on their heels, just a few steps behind the operative. There is no time to mourn their losses.
6. CRISIS/DILEMMA
M17 After she got the whole code, she tries to enter it into a computer, but nothing happens. As they are in an internet café all the customers turn on them. Clearly the program is still working. The code does not work just entering it into a computer. All was in vain. Enemies are closing in fast. They realize that it must be entered into the main frame. It must be entered into the main frame.
M19 All operatives are either dead or gravely wounded.
M18 She realizes she must go to the facility where she was imprisoned with her parents.
M1 She and her parents (scientists) were held captive for years by this maniac’s father
M20 She must do this alone… the thug helps her to get in but can’t go with her further as he is fighting off a force of Krueger’s operatives. She panics when entering the facility overwhelmed with all her memories rushing back on her and are captured.
A15 She must enter Krueger’s lab to enter the kill code. It is where she is vulnerable as this was where she was experimented on and lost her parents. It is part of her dark past. She fears Krueger.
V19 Krueger are overjoyed with having her captured alive and call off his operatives…this is her nightmare came true again. She must face him again in the facility where she was held capture with her parents. How vengeful Krueger are comes to light when they come face to face.
V12 He would watch with his father as she and her parents were manipulated and tortured to do his father’s diabolical work.
7. CLIMAX
V8 The mind games and torture immediately start again.
A16 She falls apart being tormented with her past showing the final pieces of what happened to her in the past as well as her and Krueger’s last alteration when he tried to rape her. He clearly has plans for her, now that he has her he are first going to get his revenge and have her die slowly. She is no longer a threat to his plans. Krueger shows his final plans thinking that he has won as well as all his contempt for her. He tortures her physically and emotionally.
M21 She finds a way to clear her mind as she hears the voices of her parents urging her on. The guard that helped her in the past comes into the lab, Krueger welcomes him not knowing that he is on her side. He behaves as if on Kreuger’s side… (the audience now wonder if it were not an elaborate trap) He claims that he caught her and first had to fight off the last operative who is now dead. Krueger rewards him with a big suitcase of cash that he accepts. He asks if he can watch Krueger torturing her, Krueger diabolically laughs as he consents as it will even be more rewarding if the guard watch the torturing and he plans on raping her. He even promises if he is done with her the guard can get in on the action.
Just as it seems hopeless the guard knocks Krueger unconscious and free her before he can kill Krueger several operatives are heard coming to the lab. He urges her to find the mainframe as he will lead the guards away.
A17 She finds a way to enter the computer mainframe room and enter the kill code. This leads not only to the destruction of the global assassination program, but she also has the opportunity to destroy some of the programs running the lab that starts the whole facility to overheat and break down.
A18 Krueger comes to and realizes that she is gone, and the program is destroyed, also that the facility is in the process of being destroyed. Alarms blaring, smoke and fires etc. He truly goes ballistic and hunt her down. He captures her again and this time he is mean as hell.
M23 Out of his mind with rage after the program was destroyed Krueger starts beats her to a pulp and drag her to a room. The same room where she was kept and where he tried to rape her. Now she must face the maniac in the lab where she was tortured and kept as a kid.
A19 He is going to kill her; he will still win even if it only is by killing her.
M24 She breaks down unable to think, giving up the will to live and fight back. She just wants it to end.
A20 With horror she see a young woman/girl inside the same room and also being experimented on. He shows her that she is not special, he recreated her but even better and this time there were no parents that could shield the girl and protect her. This time he broke her and made her a living machine and weapon bound to his will.
M25 Through a glass panel she sees a girl being used in the same manner as she was as a kid.
M26 This fills her with rage, she confronts her fears, her past and uses that anger to unleash hell on the lab.
A21 It pushes her over all her fears and give her the final strength to kill Krueger and end this part of her life. She tries to rescue the girl but after seeing her kill Krueger the girl wants to kill her. She is completely brainwashed, a true killing machine. In the end the facility is coming down on them and she must flee without the girl, leaving her at Krueger’s body.
8. RESOLUTION
V20 There she would fight all the trauma and demons from her past and kill the maniac son and destroy all that is left of him in the world.
M27 Killing the maniac, burning everything to the ground trying to save the girl.
V21 He will die just as his father did without leaving a family power dynasty to rule the world. He will die knowing he failed.
A22 The destruction of the facility. Nothing is left standing, and no one is left alive. She makes it out severely wounded and looks back at the same point where she stood when she escaped.
A23 The world is saved from the assassination program. It came at a price… She came full circle in her journey. Can she now find peace?
My favorite twist is the thug that turned out to be her protector and the operative that turned on the team.
I would like to keep on brainstorming these twists as I feel there can be some more twists hidden in here. His jealousy or the reason for his jealousy and the utter hatred for her that is more personal than just putting his father behind bars.
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Ramelle’s Favorite Twists
What I learned is how to get the plot thicker and more entertaining.
Lost Resources Since her mom, Chay has been no help in sorting out the tragedies. Cinnamon is contemplating her move on how to find out about the murders of her dad, stepdad, and boss, Mr. Snyder: she is at her sprawling home getting ready for work as if it is Monday morning. Normally the day is hectic for the new District Attorney. She leaves her home and as she is driving, the police tailgate her. The police tell her to pull over as the new DA thinks he is offering a procession maybe to work. As Cinnamon looks in her rearview mirror; she is startled; the policeman in all black. Wait, (Cinnamon reacts)
Cinnamon ‘Is this the man who tried to break into my apartment.
Officer Long Why? Good morning, Ms. Johnson
Cinnamon Good Morning, May I ask why you stop me?
Officer Long, you were a bit over the limit.
Cinnamon, I was a little, but I understand you have your job to do but I really must get to business. Can I have your name officer?
Officer Long “Officer Long,” and Ms. Johnson let me escort you to the office.
Cinnamon Sure, I can keep my eye on you
New Resource: Maybe Officer Long can help her find answers.
It Just Got Worse: Cinnamon leaves work and heads to get dinner at one of her favorite soul food restaurant, Madea’s. She gets her pre=ordered meal and heads back to her car when out of nowhere a hobo tries to grab her purse, she fights back and out of nowhere a man sees this and helps her fight off the attacker and saves her purse. The man is a handsome, debonair, athletic gentleman who saves the day. He asks if she is okay, and she says that she is fine. Who are you? She asks; Clash, I’m Clash Stevenson. Thank you for helping me. Look, let me get you some more food. Is that cool? She takes him up on the offer. It Just Got Better: Future husband, lover, mate Clash Stevenson has arrived.
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Diana T. Black… Favorite Twists
What I learned is the importance of maintaining audience engagement, especially if it’s a linear narrative, via subverting expectation. Thus for the audience, twists lessen predictability re the plot, the stereotyping of character, and assumed outcomes. To a minor extent I’ve already done this in places with the original re-written plotline. Just in case I haven’t thought of every aspect associated with a Twist i.e. story logic web, I’ll be writing/rewriting two different narratives consecutively – one with the new Twists embedded and subsquent plot, and the other version with only the original twists and the original plotting.
Because this is a 6-episode mini-series, a period of solid engagement and investment in the Character’s predictable “traits” and behavior must be established first, otherwise the twist won’t be a twist, but likely assumed to be “normal” in this story world. Zig-Zags, Curve balls etc.
** New possible Twists and those already embedded, listed as “What If?” (more than 5)
Episode One Only…
As the Opening Title and Credits Roll…
**What if this isn’t a woman – assumed to be Nicole?
Opening
Scene:
**What if this isn’t Louise’s body?
Inciting Incident
Scene: Later…
Keylan makes a phone call to the airlines (a friend) – Louise was never on the flight.
**What if she was on a flight… therefore for the audience, moght begion to wonder who’s lying – his friend at the airport, or could she have been on another flight?
First Turning Point at end of Act 1
Scene:
** What if Keylan receives a post-card from “Louise” – she’s waiting for him in Acapulco, with the money?
Mid-Point
Scene:
** Nicole reveals the investigation into the $2M theft now involves Keylan, seeing as how he “knew” Louise. “Suggest you get yourself a lawyer.”
Second Turning Point at end of Act 2
Scene:
Keylan stops in at the fire house situation and has Ange drill him for a blood sample –
**What if he doesn’t write his name on the vacu-tube label and takes a spare?
Crisis
**What If Victor is still inside because there’s another victim inside, “Mandy”?
Climax
Scene:
**What If Victor peels back the blanket to reveal “Mandy” is a puppy, secured in Patrick’s jacket.?
** What If Keylan quickly draws a blood sample from Victor and labels it with his own name?
**What If unbeknownst to Keylan, Victor’s ghost rises out of his body?
** What If Keylan drags Victor back into the fire to virtually incinerate his corpse?
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Christopher Dalbey’s Favorite Twists!
What I learned doing this assignment is that supplementing twists in the story makes the journey more intriguing and engaging. Another great tool to add to my writing utility belt, ha!
My FIVE favorites:
1) It Just Got Worse ============== It Just Got Better
It Just Got Worse: Phara comes back from the dead lost in the mortal world as voodoo incarnate Maman Phara, while Senator Triano wins the seat as new mayor of New Orleans.
It Just Got Better: She learns of her newfound supernatural powers as Maman Phara. Simultaneously, Senator Triano is interrogated by the FBI about him being associated with Phara’s missing persons report.
2) Trap/Trick ===================== Escape
Trap/Trick: Maman Phara’s mission to “seek and destroy” all of Trinano’s underground party is a trick to lead her crusade into the daylight hours when her powers are ineffective and capture her.
Escape: There is a Benedict Arnold high up in Triano’s rankings and helps Maman escape, evading the pending underground trial where she is to be joined in union with voodoo deity Baron Samedi (Senator Triano) in the afterlife.
3) Danger ========================= Safety
Danger: Maman Phara (Maman Brigitte) is practically on her death bed when she is rescued by one of Triano’s insiders.
Safety: Maman Phara seeks refuge with the voodoo community in the backwoods of New Orleans.
4) Unexpected Weapon ============= Surprising Response
Unexpected Weapon: Maman gathers a small army of voodoo warriors to combat Triano’s underground.
Surprising Response: The FBI are now onto Maman Phara’ s assault in the streets of New Orleans and think she is responsible for Phara Ady’s disappearance.
5) Reversal ====================== Reverse the Reversal
Reversal: By happenstance, the FBI take down Senator Triano (as Baron Samedi), misconstruing him as Maman Phara.
Reverse the Reversal: Phara Ady is gifted back her mortal life and is sworn in as mayor of New Orleans.
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