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Post Day 9 Assignment Here
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JAYE’S HORROR OUTLINE VERSION 1
“THE CREEK”
What I learned is that making this readable outline helps to organize the many puzzle pieces I have scattered all about at the moment, deciding what is necessary and what is not, and helping me to identify gaps.
EXT. HOUSE – DAY
Circa 1950s. Derrick and Johnny, tree removal, Father & Son Company, have arrived to remove a large willow tree from behind a house by a creek. It’s filled with ravens and is tearing up pipes.While trying to chop down the tree, a storm moves in, bringing dark clouds and heavy wind. The saw won’t cut.
Derrick goes to the car to get something stronger. Johnny stays behind and tries his shot with his axe. But the head flies off and sinks in Derrick’s neck.
Johnny runs to him, but the tree grabs him and whips his ass all around, smashing him into creek rocks, badly maiming him.
A housemaid watching from the rear door screams in horror. A nun watches from an upstairs window.
INT. HIGH SCHOOL – EVENING
Present Day. Senior Ball. We meet David, Josh, Robert, Marcus, Whitney, Olivia, Sarah, and Karen.Whitney & Marcus, Robert & Karen, David & Sarah, Olivia gets dumped.
David suggests a party afterward at this old abandoned house by the creek.
We learn about the history of the house. They call Josh to join them.
EXT. CONVENIENCE STORE – NIGHT
The kids get more drinks and snacks. They meet older, homeless, one-armed crazy Johnny, who warns them not to go to the house. They give him a beer and head out.EXT. HOUSE / BACKYARD – NIGHT
Kids are drinking, having a party, smoking weed. Josh arrives. Joins them. Decides to spray paint the house. Olivia thinks she sees a shadow in a window. Looks again… it’s gone!Ghost stories… about the history of the house and the crazy women that used to run a clinic for women who didn’t want their babies. After the babies were born, urban legend says that these babies were supposed to be sent out for adoption, but were drowned in the creek… right here… where we sit…
Meanwhile…Josh has been gone a while. The team wants to go inside. It’s getting cold, plus… what’s with all the ravens? and Josh has been gone a while.Olivia doesn’t want to go, so she stays outside.
The creek is scary, the forest beyond is scary. Noises… a chill. Olivia gets a text from her date, can’t reply. Bad signal. She gets more nervous. Decides to go in the house.
But the tree stops her, grabs her, she drowns in the creek. OLIVIA DOWN.
INT. HOUSE – NIGHT
Looking for Josh. Marcus scares people. Robert and Karen go upstairs to “look” but Robert wants to get frisky. Karen is rejecting him. Then Sarah walks in. Unexpectedly, she starts to get friendly with Karen and this is second best for Robert. He takes a seat and watches. Starts to pleasure himself, while lighting up a blunt.INT. THE HOUSE – NIGHT
The back door is open and Olivia walks in. Drenched. David sees her in the hall and meets her. Is she okay? She barfs. He tells her to lay down and she walks into a nearby room.As he walks away, the back door closes by itself.
INT. BACK IN THE UPSTAIRS BEDROOM – SAME
Karen and Sarah making out for Robert. Part of the girls’ shadow breaks away and moves along the wall, to the ceiling. Robert is freaking out, and his weed smoke fills his lungs. He can’t exhale. Dick out and making grunting noises, the girls get weirded out and leave as he dies. ROBERT DOWN.INT. HOUSE – SAME
The kids continue calling for Josh. No answer.Whitney pulls Marcus aside. Tells him she’s pregnant. He’s disappointed and angry. He wants to go to college. She wants to raise a family. He wants to move during summer, going to University of Miami, and he doesn’t want her to come. Suggests an abortion. And there’s that creek outside…
INT. HOUSE – SAME
David looks for Josh. Can’t find him. Finds a religious room of freaky shit.INT. HOUSE – SAME
Karen and Sarah arrive downstairs. Look for a private place to carry on. They hear Josh calling for them… in the basement! He sounds sick.They go to investigate and they see Josh, his chest ripped open and his mouth moving unnaturally, calling their names. They bolt back up the stairs. Sarah lags, and impending noises freak her and Karen out. Karen pushes Sarah down the stairs to feed the beast.
And as she reaches the top, she falls through the stairs and gets hung.
The basement door slams shut. JOSH DOWN. SARAH DOWN. KAREN DOWN.
EXT. STREET – NIGHT
Johnny has dreams. Symbolic. Tells him that Whitney is chosen by the house and she and her friends are in danger.He wakes to tell his fellow tent friends who mock him.
INT. HOUSE – NIGHT
David finds Josh dead. Sees the shadows. Hears whispers. An image behind a sheer curtain. Calls 911, but phone has no service. A nun? He moves it aside and nothing is there.INT. HOUSE – SAME
David finds Whitney and Marcus. Says they have to go. Something awful has happened and his cell phone isn’t working. Whitney and Marcus check their phones. There’s are not working either. David tells what he knows about the house. Suddenly unnatural sounds are getting louder.They try the doors. Locked!
Then they see Olivia! She goes into the freaky religious room. The three go after her.
INT. RELIGIOUS ROOM – SAME
Olivia speaks in mixed English and foreign tongues. She says the house will not let Whitney leave.EXT. HOUSE – SAME
Johnny arrives. Tries the front door. Locked! Runs to the back, looking in windows. A face appears as he passes. He’s in the back. The tree stalls him. But the back door to the house opens.INT. HOUSE – SAME
Olivia charges Whitney, but David intervenes. Marcus grabs a weapon, a pitchfork?? But doesn’t know what to do, just stands there like a dumbass. Whitney screams for him to do something while Olivia is strangling David.Then Johnny burst in the room! And Marcus plunges the pitchfork into his chest! JOHNNY DOWN. DAVID DOWN.
Marcus runs out and sees the back door open. He escapes!Olivia charges Whitney. She screams!
EXT. HOUSE / BACKYARD – SAME
The door slams shut! He stalls, and the tree grabs him and murders the shit out of him in the creek. MARCUS DOWN.INT. THE HOUSE – SAME
Whitney is in a bed. Restrained. Bloody head, unconscious, but breathing. Olivia is at the foot of the bed, and the nun is there. They will be taking care of her and ensuring she has her baby. -
Debbie’s Outline Version 1
What I learned from this assignment is that once I turned the tags into actual scenes, I realize what other kinds of scenes need to be included. The next round will help to fill out those scenes, but I’m excited to have this solid skeleton on which to build my story.
LOST IN SPACE (Working Title)
ACT ONE
EXT. FOREST – DAY
A man runs through the forest with something that we don’t see chasing him. The thing is big, trees are falling, the ground rumbling. The man finds a hollow tree in which to hide. He is in full terror mode and is closing his eyes, holding himself into a tight little ball and trying to calm his sobs. Everything goes quiet. After a moment, the man thinks just maybe he survived. Then the tree is sheared in half and a giant claw reaches in and seizes him, cutting him in half.
INT. SHUTTLE BUS – PASSENGER COMPARTMENT – DAY
EBONI SPENCE, 13 years old walks ahead of her very proud father, ANDRE SPENCE, 40s, handsome with the carriage of a fighting man, and beside a robot that is humanoid looking, but not with human features. Still, Jack is pleasing to look at.
The military people on the plane don’t want to let them enter, but her dad steps forward, says she’s the winner of Senator Tate’s contest. As they board, the SENATOR WILLIAM TATE meets them. He want’s to disqualify Eboni but Andre, A brilliant business man and very rich man, threatens to sue and to withdraw any support he gave to the Senator in the past.
The Senator is upset that a 13-year-old beat his 15-year-old son IAN and decides that he can not join them on this expedition. They argue, but Ian can’t sue his father, so he is ejected.
INT. SHUTTLE BUS – STORAGE ROOM – DAY
An argument breaks out between MAE ZEH , 30s, Scientist and PEN WRIGHT, 40s miner, over they way their equipment is stored. Mae talks about the delicate nature of her equipment and if anything falls over… Pen says she packed it herself and none of her equipment will fall over, if anything moves it will be hers.
The pilot, KEV KELLY, puts an end to the argument by closing the door to the storage room and ordering the women to their seats.
INT SHUTTLE BUS – PASSENGER COMPARTMENT – DAY
Sabina comes in late, toting camera equipment. “Where can I put this?” Yikes, let’s not start the argument again. The man in charge of the three person military team going to the asteroid, SLY STONE, late 40s, early 50s, takes the cameras to the back. When Mae starts to comment, he points a finger at her and ends all argument.
INT. SHUTTLE BUS – STORAGE ROOM – DAY
When Stone stows the equipment, we see a jeaned leg pull back out of sight. Ian is hiding in the storage area. Stone pretends not to see him.
[Flight, we get to find out more about our characters and their new relationships]
INT. SPACE BUS – PILOT’S CABIN – SPACE
The pilot cannot raise anyone at the asteroid. He slows the shuttle. Stone and Spence come up to see what’s up. The Senator follows. Discussion about communications etc. The Senator, the organizer of this trip, orders them to go on. Sly then follows order and orders the pilot. Spence is uneasy about this.
But the decision is taken from them when they are sucked into the asteroid. The stream wants to take the shuttle deep into the reaches of the asteroid, but Spence, an ex-flyer, helps the pilot pull the craft out of the stream. It crash lands in a forest.
ACT TWO
EXT. FOREST – DAY
There’s awe about how the inside of the asteroid looks like Earth. Sabina is taking pictures. They decide to hike to the compound where they were headed. Ian, of course, is discovered and his dad is furious with him, blames him for the crash.
They find the remains of a strange beat. There’s something really wrong about it, but its almost totally skeleton now so it difficult to say if it’s wrong or not.
The find the compound and another shuttle, smaller and not running.
INT/EXT COMPOUND – DAY
It’s deserted. There is evidence of struggle, fights and last stand. There’s blood, but not enough to constitute a slaughter of the team stationed there. They do find some weapons, but quickly realize they’ve been sabatoged.
Sly puts the pilot on the repairs and Andre joins him after asking Pen to watch out for Eboni.
Ian asks Eboni about Jack, and it’s not soon before Eboni, Jack and are deep in conversation that would be above everyone else’s head.
Pen and Mae talk about how all the fighting over the equipment is mute now. They decide to start over.
Sly and his two other men set up a patrol around the compound and shuttle, just in case.
EXT. COMPOUND DAY
Shuttle is fixed. Kev takes it on a test run. It runs great. Everybody cheers, then it hits some kind of force field and explodes.
Then the “sky” roof becomes opaque, and they see that the asteroid is leaving their solar system. They are completely isolated with no help from earth.
INT. COMPOUND – DAY
Andre takes over. Kev challenges, but when he see Andre’s tattoo, he is very differential. The Senator tries, but he is just told to sit down and shut up. Obviously there is an intelligence behind what is happening. We were shown that we’re leaving our solar system for a purpose, demoralization.
Andre gives out assignments. He talks to Eboni and Jack, and Ian pops in as well. Can they discover the intelligence behind this.
Mae to the lab to see what they may have been doing there.
Pen and Sabina will search the compound building by building, room by room.
ETC.
EXT COMPOUND DAY
The compound is attacked where the lab is located. A hybrid monster, that looks like a giant crab-like but alien creature, with a human head mounted on the front. When it breaks through the walls, Mae see it. It’s the head of her husband. She screams and screams and screams, but can’t move. She is snatched up in the claw.
The military men are trying to kill the thing, but it kills two men but it limps off with Mae in its claw.
ACT THREE
INT. COMPOUND – DAY
Everyone is breaking down. The robot, Eboni and Ian say that they have found a signal. The group decides to follow it but the Senator says they need to wait at the compound where it is safe. Arguments all around. Then the monster breaks in through a window and gets the senator. It is gone before the group can bear their guns.
Pen takes Ian under her wing. He is in shock, his father was bigger than life to him. Now he’s suddenly gone.
They suddenly discover that the robot is missing. They begin to think the robot set them up for these attacks, that the alien hardware has infected him. Eboni denies it, but discord breaks out among the group.
EXT. FOREST – NIGHT
They have made camp. They feel relatively safe because the monster is dead. But then another monster attacks, and this one has the arm of the pilot as one of its “legs”.
They are ready this time and are able to kill the monster quickly. A breath of relief, Sabina is taking pictures, she starts to say she’s found something when a second monster appears, this one with Mae’s head. And Sabina is taken. Andre kills her to save her from becoming one of the monsters.
EXT. FOREST – DAY
Eboni falls down a steep hill and is separated from the group. When a monster finds her. Eboni is horrified, but her survival training by the dad kicks in. She’s one bad ass little girl, but still a little girl. While evading the monster. Using her scientific brain, she’s able to come up with a way to create a kind of flare and send it up for her dad to see.
Help comes as the monster gets Eboni cornered. Sly sacrifices his life for Ian’s. Andre and Pen, working together, are able to kill the monster. Sabina is photographing it. They feel safe for the moment, but Sabina backs into a second monster, this one with Mae’s face. Sabina is taken. Andre shoots her before the monster can whisk her away.
Suddenly the robot is there. She found the facility where the monsters are being made, and a way in. Eboni trusts her, but Andre and Pen aren’t so sure. Ian persuades them. The robot tells them that reptilian aliens somewhat like humans are the intelligence behind what is happening. There is a Queen out in another galaxy. The head here is one of the queen’s many daughters trying to prove their worth.
EXT LAB – NIGHT
The robot brings them to a place where they can sneak into the lab What they find there is a horrific picture of animal experimentation for the sake of experimentation. The robot explains that they Reptilian aliens behind all this are experimenting with different species to create warriors.
They come across Kev’s head preserved. Suddeny his eyes open and his mouth flops open. He tries to say, “kill me”, but it’s hard to understand. However, he doesn’t need the words. Ian pulls the tubes keeping the head alive and Kev dies.
They are attacked by Reptilian scientists, but the robot knows their weaknesses and she and Eboni use fire extinguishers to cool their bodies so that they fall and Andre and Pen can kill them.
But there’s one Reptilian who is able to slice Eboni’s throat and escape. The robot immediately puts Eboni on a table and hooks her up to electrodes. Andre tries to stop her, but Ian realizes what is happening. Eboni’s body dies, but her consciousness is in the robot. She’s able to talk to her dad, look out of the robot’s eyes, etc. But she’s not just Eboni. She’s the robot and the alien tech. She will change and evolve. For right this moment, she’s daddy’s girl.
They plan on how to survive, and how they can find their way home.
END
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What I learned is that you can turn a simple beat sheet into a readable outline.
Tony McBride Horror Outline Version 1
INT. HAUNTED HOUSE – NIGHT
A haunted mansion is shown and we hear “spooky music”.
A group of old college friends are shown at a dinner table—it’s a reunion.
A death has occurred, it’s the Lawyer.
The husband assures everyone that things are o.k. and it will be a fun adventure.
As the night convenes, more friends begin to die by freak accidents—like the husband.
INT. HAUNTED HOUSE – NIGHT
The woman complainer is killed.
There is nothing but pure terror in the house as everyone is running for their lives.
The monster is pursuing the friends with a vengeance as more and more hallucinations torment the survivors.
Some of the friends go into town to find help—but there is none. However, they realize that the monster can only work within the confines of the house.
A town bum tells them of the myth of the house.
INT. HAUNTED HOUSE – NIGHT
Another friend is killed, the Man-Rescuer.
However, the monster pursue the friend with various weapons.
The monster weakens when love is showed towards it and lowers its defenses.
To prepare for a fight to the death, the friends gather an assortment of weapons.
In a thrilling fight to the death, Annabelle corners one of the friends but the other friend splashes her with oil.
Instead of bickering, the friends unite to destroy Annabelle.
As the friends look over Annabelle dead body, they discover that she died of a rape and was abused and wanted to kill innocent people.
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ASSIGNMENT 9 – NADIA’S HORROR OUTLINE VERSION 1
(Title: “GRAHAMSTOWN”)
What I learned from this assignment: I learned about building the foundations of the story first instead of rushing in blindly into the writing adventure. I also learned that, as the tags are removed, the outline may need some changes for the flow of the story and is not a fixed thing.
ACT 1—SET UP THE HORROR:
INT. ROOM – NIGHT FALL
A computer screen is shining in the darkness, a girl’s face reflecting in the monitor screen. Press articles appear and disappear rapidly with a click of the mouse: headlines show the number 21 repeatedly and young gruesome murders. A headline lingers on the screen “GRAHAMSTOWN, OLDEST TOWN IN AMERICA – by Matthias Smith”.
A sudden KNOCK ON THE DOOR and the hand that holds the mouse is taken with a sudden tremor.
In the computer screen we see the reflection of a young woman drawn out face with wide terrorized eyes; far back, a single candle burn and drips on a birthday cake.
The KNOCK GETS LOUDER; we hear the girl’s fast tense breathing.
MIA – 21, pale with pitch black hair and lots of black eye shadows that make her look like a ghost – turns around and stares at a birthday cake in pure terror, then a the front door.
SILENCE.
Mia slowly exhales then…
A succession of rapid successive little knock accompanied by a frail voice singing “happy birthday to you…”
MIA SCREAMS!
ON SCREEN – TITLE ROLLS IN: “GRAHAMSTOWN”
EXT – STREET – DAWN
A YOUNG GUY IN HIS TWENTIES is walking fast, checking his watch as he throws nervous glances behind him.
He takes a corner and a BLACK CAT runs out of a bush and in front of him with a wild screech; he swears and stops dead in his track.
On the right, a sign indicated a public park; he checks out his watch again and heads for the park.
EXT – PUBLIC PARK – DAWN
Shadows everywhere make the park appear much darker that the street.
The guy is now sweating profusely although steam coming out of his mouth indicates that it’s cold out there.
He starts jogging.
He reaches a crossroads, hesitates, takes a left and soon reaches a tunnel: total darkness in there!
He mumbles something, takes a deep breath and makes a sprint for it; we hear his footsteps as he disappears inside the dark tunnel then a shuffle of feet followed by…
A BLOOD CURLING SCREAM and the sound of a body being dragged slowly.
EXT – IMPOSING BUILDING ON WELL KEPT GROUNDS – DAY
INT – BUILDING – CONTINUOUS
Establishing shot of a top notch old age home: lots of very healthy looking old folks and tired looking young nurses. The old are all smiling and upbeat while the young look tense and drawn out.
ANNA – early 20’s, long blond hair, blue eyes reflecting innocence and empathy – the face of an angel; her beauty is understated by the absence of make-up and her plain loose clothing. She is in the living area, reading a thick book, surrounded by old folks who look captivated.
A tall and thin bland young man carrying a food tray is looking towards Anna with obvious longing; the nerd gets hit on the hip by some old man with a cane who yells at him to get out of his way. STEPHEN mumbles an apology as Anna looks up and meets his gaze; she smiles at him, he blushes and looks away.
INT – COFFEE SHOP – DAY
A young couple is their early twenties are gazing into each other’s eyes full of lust; NAOMI, a pretty girl who fits perfectly the pomp pomp girl profile whispers sweet nothings into JAMES’ ear, an athletic looking young man with a Colgate smile and pecks that trying to pierce out his tight T-shirt. They’re all over each other and oblivious of the rest of the world or their untouched cool drinks in front of them.
At a nearby table, sitting alone and her thin little mouse face peering over the rim of her hot chocolate is JOANNA, watching. She is so unremarkable that she almost blends in with the furniture. She looks flush as she franticly jolts down words in a thick worn out notebook in front of her, trying not to listen to the couple’s discussion.
The WAITRESS – a smiling woman in her sixties – ambles along to the couple’s table; Joanna stares at her while she asks the couple ‘got any plans for tonight you too lovebirds?’; she can’t hear their answers but the waitress adds ‘you too should take a romantic stroll through the park tonight, I hear the moon will be nearly full, should be as clear as daylight’.
Joanna waits for the waitress to walk away, throws a couple of notes on the table and quickly gets up; on her way out, she brushes pass the couple, drops her notebook and, as James bends over to pick it up she quickly urges him to ‘not to go out alone after dark, they’re dangerous, don’t trust them’; and as a couple of smiling old ladies come into the coffee shop, Joanna swiftly leaves.
Noami asks him what this was all about and when he tells her she laughs and says she is loony while he says that she is harmless, just a lonely broad.
EXT – STREETS, DOWNTOWN – NIGHT
There’s an eerie atmosphere in the deserted streets of the town.
Some doors are slamming shuts and locks bolted; young laughter’s spilling through cracks open windows then quickly shut.
Somewhere, the dog’s barking die in a painful whine.
From behind her bedroom window, JOANNA is peering outside in the street. She sees the old folks coming out, into the streets, filing the bars, spreading towards the park, in the shadows, moving surprisingly fast and quietly. She hears a dog whine and turns towards the sound just in time to see an old man break the dog’s neck; as she lets out a little scream, he looks up towards the lit window and smiles; she retreats in her room and switches the light off.
INT – A NEWSPAPER ROOM – DAY
Establishing shot of a busy newspaper room: lots of noise and people typing furiously on keyboards and shouting over phones; in a far corner, between the toilets and the coffee machine is a tiny desk, strangely tidy and a good looking but gloomy guy, much younger looking than his early thirties, slams down the phone and spins out of his chair to march purposefully towards a closed door with a sign ‘Editor in Chief’.
MATTHIAS doesn’t bother knocking and marches right in; the smart and snazzy looking middle age woman sitting in the editor’s seat doesn’t seem too frazzled to see him and points to the seat in front of her that he chooses to ignore.
As he is about to rant that his talent is wasted sitting behind a desk all day writing about missing cats instead of being out there chasing the real story, she surprises him by agreeing with him and throwing a police report across the desk; it shows a student town with the oldest population in the country: the editor decides to send Matthias write a story on GRAHAMSTOWN.
Matthias is thrilled about the opportunity, packs his old rusty car and gets on the road the following morning at the break of light.
EXT – ON THE ROAD, MATTHIAS CAR – DAY
INT – MATTHIAS’ CAR
His car starts hiccupping; he swears under his breath when he sees smoke coming out of the hood; the engine chucks some more as he pulls on the side of the road.
INT – MATTHIAS’ CAR – CONTINUOUS
He gets out of the car, looks around, no car in sight.
Matthias opens the hood, more smoke escapes; now his swearing is loud and clear. He looks around again, sees a post sign further down the road: “GRAHAMSTOWN WELCOMES YOU”; he laughs at the irony, retrieves a bag from the car and starts walking.
EXT – ROAD – SUN IS GOING DOWN ON THE HORIZON
Matthias walking pace has slowed down, sweat is damping his shirt and his shoulder is leaning on the side carrying the bag; he stops to rest, squints and sees a diner ahead with a squad of few Harley Davidson parked outside and a couple of old cars.
Relieves, he picks up the pace and enters the diner.
INT – DINNER – CONTINUOUS
The brouhaha that came from the diner as Matthias pushes the door is replaced by an eerie silence that only lasts a few seconds as the crowd takes note of the new comer; Matthias is taken aback by the attendance: the place is packed with old people with motorbike helmets by their side and leather lots of leather clothing; the ones who are not obvious bikers are also over the sixties mark and look him up and down.
Matthias walks to the bar and orders a beer; he is surprised when the waitress asks him for his ID; he gives it to her, she looks at it then hands it back to him; as he pockets it, he catches her looking behind him with a quick head shake; he glances the mirror reflecting a table behind him and catches a small group of elderly who look down at their glasses as soon as he quickly turns around.
Matthias downs his glass and asks the waitress for the number of a tow truck; when she says ‘there’s no tow truck company in town but downtown is less than half an hour walk from here’ he is startled but takes it they don’t like strangers.
Matthias sighs and leaves the dinner as ANDREW – a guy in his twenties build like an ox – comes out of the toilets and exits the place under the scrutiny of the patrons.
EXT – DINNER – DAWN
Andrew walks to an old pickup truck, pulls on the road, passes Matthias walking slowly on the side of the road.
Andrew sees Matthias in his rear mirror stops and puts the pickup in reverse, stopping next to Matthias. He rolls down the window and asks him if he needs a lift to town.
Matthias gratefully gets in and tells him about his car break down at the town limits and asks he it can be towed; Andrew confirms there’s no tow truck company in town and offers to have a look at his car tomorrow as he is good at fixing cars; when Matthias asks him if it could be done now as the car is not far, Andrew replies ‘it will be dark soon, best get back into town before dark, it’s safer; we’ll do it in the morning’; Matthias journalist curiosity is awaken.
EXT – DOWNTOWN – CONTINUOUS
Andrew drops Matthias in front of a small hotel on Main Street; as Matthias watches Andrew drives off and, he notices JOANNA walking briskly on the pavement opposite; she walks looking down and staying close to the walls; Matthias is puzzled by her body language but shrugs and gets in the hotel, just as an OLD HOMELESS MAN stands from behind a rubbish bin and starts following Joanna.
INT – HOTEL
Matthias checks in with a nervous looking teenage girl; she checks him in without uttering a single word and hands him the key for his room; as he takes the key, she glances around and quickly utters ‘make sure to look your door at night’ and she vanishes in the small office behind reception. Matthias is even more puzzled now and walks to his room on the 1<sup>st</sup> floor, stopping in front of room 21.
INT – ROOM 21
Establishing room of a plain but confortable enough room with en-suite bathroom. Matthias checks out the view from the only window giving on the street and he sees the same girl as earlier – JOANNA – disappearing around the corner, a homeless guy dragging his leg not far behind.
He drops his bag, turns around, and goes to lock his door.
EXT – MAIN ROAD – MEANWHILE
Joanna hears some noise behind her and sees movement from behind a trash can; a homeless guy struggles to stand up, sees her and waves an empty wine bottle towards her.
She picks up the pace and he starts to follow.
She turns around and starts to panic; she trips, her bag falls, she quickly picks it up and hurries on while her eyes dart around at the otherwise empty street.
The homeless guy hurries after her; she is now running; he picks up something on the ground and calls out after her ‘hey, don’t go!’
Joanna – looks terrorised – runs around the corner and bumps with full force onto sweet old MARY, the coffee shop owner. She explains to Mary that she is being pursued and Mary quickly hushes her to the safety of the dark coffee shop.
Joanna is so shaken that she doesn’t notice Mary putting the sign CLOSED on the door. When Mary turns on the lights, Joanna notices that they are not alone in the coffee shop which she was closed: a group of old people are standing there, motionless, staring at her and smiling.
Joanna looks at them, then at Mary who came standing right behind her, and closes her eyes as tears roll down her face and the group closes on her.
EXT – COFFEE SHOP, SAME TIME
The homeless guy arrives at the coffee shop, breathless and dragging his dead leg; he is holding Joanna’s thick notebook. He peers inside, his hand on the door handle and pauses. Pure horror spreads on his face; he slowly and quietly retreats and, when far enough, runs away, glancing back towards the coffee shop as he does so, till he reaches a dark narrow alley and stops long enough to throw up behind rubbish bins, still holding Joanna’s notebook.
INT – COFFEE SHOP – DAY
Matthias is sitting by himself at a table, reading through the headlines: ‘Joanna Templar, another missing person in the quiet student town of Grahamstown!’
He turns around when he hears someone calls out his name; Andrew just walked in and is standing next to a round table where 5 young people are sitting; he signals Matthias to join them.
Matthias folds his paper, takes his cup of coffee and joins the party; Andrew has already pulled out a chair for him and is making the introduction to his group of new friends, all freshmen and women: NAOMI and JAMES, love birds sitting close to each other, a rebel and gothic looking MIA who nods but doesn’t great him, STEPHEN who awkwardly shakes his hand and ANNA, whose large blue eyes lock on his and smiles the sweetest smile – they share a moment which nobody misses, especially Stephen who gets even gloomier.
Andrew picks up Matthias paper and seeing the headlines with the missing Joanna, comments that they kind of new the girl and that the rumour is that there has been a lot of young people vanishing of late, and a couple of gruesome murders about a year ago, probably done by some out of town psycho passing by as Grahamstown is a quiet little town of well-behaved students and friendly old folks.
They talk a bit more about Joanna, how she was kind of weird and kept telling to watch out for the old evils but nobody would listen to her; but when Matthias tries to probe some more about the gruesome murders – mutilated young bodies – nobody seems to know much and it looks more like a urban legend to the small group. Despite their disbelief of an evil residing in this town, they all admit that they don’t go out much at night but that’s because they’d rather study and that there isn’t much to do in a small town. Matthias is sceptical and, when he notices that Mary has been ear dropping on their conversation, he feels there is a story to be told and determined to do some discrete investigation.
EXT – EXITS COFFEE SHOP AND INTO THE STREET – CONTINUOUS
Matthias leaves the coffee shop, Andrew tags along. Matthias thanks him for having fixed his car the other day and the conversation goes back to Joanna disappearance; when Matthias tells him he’d like to do some investigation and see if there’s a story for his newspaper, Andrew is eager to help him, glad about the adventure; Matthias accepts and is glad to have a strong friend in a town that may not be as safe as it looks.
INT – COLLEGE LIBRARY – LATER THAT DAY
Matthias is sitting behind a computer, doing through the town’s archives. He is visualizing the same murder news articles and gruesome pics that we saw earlier on in the story, at the opening scene.
Matthias pulls out his mobile phone from his pocket, checks that he is alone, and texts to the chief editor ‘I have a story for you… hold on that Pullitzer price!’ followed by a smiley, then pockets his phone.
ACT 2—THE POINT OF NO RETURN:
INT – HOTEL ROOM/ BAR
Sequence of TV news over a few days; at times, Matthias is watching them alone on the TV in his hotel room, as times it’s on the TV in some sports bar where he meets up with the others from the small group he has formed a bond with: Naomi and James, Mia, Anna, Stephen and of course his new best buddy Andrew.
EXT – PARK/ PARKING LOT
We’ll see some young guy being chased by an unseen monster though the park; another will be attacked trying to get in his car, always alone and always at night.
As the news of strange disappearances pile up, the little group becomes more subdued and Matthias has convinced Andrew that something weird is going on in Grahamstown.
EXT – VARIOUS STREETS IN TOWN
We see more young people rushing back from classes straight home before dark and more and more old people out and about after dark; the all-natural balance is shifting with young people, tired looking, home early and double locking their doors, while old people are staying out later and later, full of energy and loud.
EXT – THE DINNER NEAR THE TOWN LIMITS – NIGHT
A stretch limo with out of town plates is parked in the parking lot. A group of Harley motorcycles pulls in, parking right behind the Limo.
The group of old bikers come in, removing their helmets as they do. Inside, a large table with a small group of young guys drinking profusely and being loud. The old folks look in their direction then towards the waitress who just nods then come and settle at various tables all around the group.
The young guys are already too drunk to notice the strange behaviour of the oldies and a couple of middle age people who swiftly leave the bar.
As alcohol keeps flowing, one of the old biker approaches the group with a large pitcher of beer and asks with the friendliest smile ‘you guys have something to celebrate am guessing, who’s the lucky one?’ when one of the young guys in the group points at his friend and slurs ‘here is the birthday boy! 21 today, you’re a real man now!’ the old folk smiles, puts the pitcher down in front of him and turns around the other old bikers who, one after the other, slowly get up and circle towards to small group of friends.
EXT – DINNER – CONTINUOUS
We hear dreadful screams mixed with hysterical laughers coming from inside.
Suddenly, the door bursts open on one of the young guy cover with blood who stumbles outside and falls; an oldie comes out and with a ‘let me give you a hand’ holds on a severed hand to the young guy who looks at his own missing member, screams and passes out in front of the smiling old man.
EXT – POSH BUILDING – DAY
MIA walks in the building, carrying a large box. She takes the lift and exits at the penthouse level; a YOUNG SECURITY GUARD in uniform is guarding the front door of her apartment. He smiles at her, she smiles back but the smile doesn’t reach the eyes; she looks terrible, as if she hadn’t slept in days. He moves over as she puts the key in to unlock the door, he says with a big smile ‘By the way, happy 21st miss!’. Mia drops her key and the box she was holding; confused, the young guard mutters some apologies while she shushes him, steps inside, slamming and locking the door behind her.
INT – MIA’S LAVISH APPARTMENT – CONTINUOUS
She walks through a lavish spacious apartment, into a gleaming chef kitchen and puts the box on the counter, retrieving a birthday cake with a single candle. With shaky hands she brings it to the living room, with one single spoon, settles on the large expensive looking couch in front of the wall plasma TV, switches it on and stares at the screen absently.
INT – MIA’S LAVISH APPARTMENT – NIGHT FALL
The apartment is in semi darkness, apart from the TV screen, now on mute, and a large computer screen that Mia is staring at, going through the recent press articles of disappearance and murders in the town.
The birthday cake is standing on the table behind her, the single candle consuming and dripping into the untouched cake.
There’s a KNOCK AT THE DOOR.
Mia jumps and asks ‘who is it?’
‘Brian miss, flowers for you’
She jumps off her seat with a ‘must be from my dad’ and rushes to the door, hand on the knob, about to unlock. Then she freezes, and slowly looks through the pipe hole. She sees Brian’s uniform and cap, his face hidden behind a huge stunning bouquet of red roses. As she unlocks the door and opens, something nags at the back of her mind, something to do with flowers then… as she open wide she recalls that her father used to tease her for only liking white roses and that’s when she sees simultaneously the BLADE STICKING OUT THE WALKING STICK and the face, not Brian’s, but a SMILING OLD MAN and the lift doors open up on a pack of walking and crawling oldies with eerie smiles and drooling.
Mia, hysterical, screams resonates through the apartment as she runs to the bay window, onto the terrace, looks back as the creatures progress through the apartment narrowing on her. She takes one last look, softly talking to herself ‘sorry daddy’ and JUMPS, crashing down 8 floors below and breaking her neck.
MIDPOINT—THE MONSTER IS WORSE THAN WHAT WE THOUGHT:
EXT – OLD AGE HOME – DAWN
A storm is breaking over the grounds.
INT – OLD AGE HOME
The atmosphere has changed and there is a perceptible effervescence among the residents; the nursing staff is edgy as incidents multiply to patients showing bad tempter and acts of violence as well as verbal abuse. The residents also start showing signs of moving in groups and display cunning abilities.
Anna carries on displaying kindness and patience while Stephen is wary and only keeps volunteering to be close to Anna, especially as she is showing more and more interest towards Matthias.
Something is going on in one of the reception room and the residents are blocking the entry to the nursing staff, saying they have a surprise for Anna. It’s Anna’s 21<sup>st</sup> birthday and she chose not to tell anyone but someone at the old age home check out throw the staff records and found out.
A surprise party is organised by some of the residents in her honour; when she finds out about it she is touched and walks into the reception room with tears of gratitude in her eyes. As she progresses through the room, she notices a huge birthday cake in the center with 21 red candles; she searches the room and realizes that there is no staff member present at the exception of the female Director of the establishing and the residents; she searches for Stephen and sees his face behind the glass door, he looks scared. She notices some residents standing in front of the door, a chair leaning under the handle to prevent it from opening; she realizes something is wrong as everyone around her starts chanting ‘Happy Birthday!’
She looks all around and sees evil smiles getting closer.
Anna kneels down, closes her eyes and STARTS PRAYING; residents loom over her, unsettled on what to do, then one stretches his hand towards her long golden fair, stroking gently as if in awe;
A chair COMES CRASHING THE GLASS DOOR and Stephen storms inside, gets to Anna and carries her in his arms through the crows of flaying arms and chants.
As he reaches the door and broken panel of glass he SCREAMS IN PAIN, an old woman in a wheel chair has driven a large piece of glass through his thighs, sectioning an artery; blood spurs!
He drops Anna who quickly gets to her feet and on the other side of the door; as Stephen shouts for her to ‘run!’, she takes off, glancing back in disbelief and horror as he gets ripped to shred with broken glass by other residents who joined the old lady in a wheel chair.
EXT – OLD AGE HOME – CONTINOUS
Anna comes running under the pouring rain; a car is parked on the ground, she tries the door, it’s unlocked and the keys are inside; in a crises of tyres she speeds out of the grounds and it’s the road, nearly losing control of the vehicle and making a close recovery, heading towards the centre of town to warn the others.
ACT 3—FULL OUT HORROR:
INT – BEDROOM – SAME TIME
Naomi is lying on her bed in her underwear; she smiles as she reads a text ‘meet me by the football field in 30mn, you won’t regret it. PS: I love U!’ She quickly gets dressed and quietly exits the house.
EXT – STREET – CONTINUOUS
Naomi is cycling down to the college dark and empty field; James’ car is already parked there. She knocks hard at the window, making him jump.
INT – JAMES’ CAR – CONTINUOUS
He unlocks the door and she gets in, leaning in to kiss him full on the mouth. They make out for a while and when he pulls out for a breath he asks ‘that what a very nice idea you got here Naomi’; she is surprised and responds ‘but it was your idea James, you sent me a text’. As the reality draws on them that neither sent a text, James quickly locks the car doors while Naomi glances all around in the total darkness that surround them; they realize how totally isolated they are and James can see Naomi is about to panic so he tries to calm her down by saying he’ll drive her home immediately. The car won’t start and James decides to have a look under the hood, instructing Naomi to lock the doors as soon as he is out.
EXT – JAMES’ CAR – PITCH DARK
James lifts the hood, everything looks normal; as he walks around the car, he notices the petrol tank has been pierced and has been leaking petrol. He is then hit over the head with a stick violently and falls to the ground. Naomi calls out his name and there’s no answer; she is terrified but slowly unlocks the door to go find James. The door is then yanked open and she screams as she is being dragged outside towards the rear of the car where James is lying unconscious and bleeding from a big gash on the head while MR JONES, the owner of the butcher shop – a jovial man in his sixties – holds a knife to his throat while smiling at her. She is about to scream when MARY, the nice coffee shop owner, puts duct tape on her mouth and tie her hands behind her back while ordering her to get on her knees. She can only watch in horror as James wakes up and seizes the situation in horror, trying not to panic for her sake, and gets Mr Jones starts slicing his throat, slowly, making him gurgle on his own blood, before cutting his chest open, pulling his beating heart out and handing it over to Naomi with a sweet ‘his heart is yours forever’. Naomi tries to close her eyes but Mary bring an ice peak close to her eye and threatens her to blind her is she dares even blink. After James is dead, they release Noami and order her to run then start chasing her with James’ car, blinding her with the lights.
EXT – FOOTBALL FIELD – NIGHT
Naomi runs and runs, it’s obvious that she has gone mad, and she runs in the middle of the road, standing there and screaming silently under the duct tape, as a DELIVERY TRUCK speeds down the street and HITS HER HEAD ON, sending her body fly like a puppet in the bushes by the road; the driver didn’t stop.
Meanwhile, all over town, isolated young people are being chased by old people with evil smile and unusual strength and ferocity; their harmless appearance making them all the more dangerous as they strike fast and hard and chase in group.
A form of hysteria has taken over the town as some people get massacred right into the streets.
EXT – DOWNTOWN
Anna drives through the main street, watching some of the scenes in horror; she opens her window and shouts at the top of her lungs ‘get to the church! You’ll be safe there! Run for the church!’
Some people head on for the church; Anna’s car stops onto the curb in front of Matthias’ hotel.
INT – MATTHIAS’ HOTEL
Anna runs inside and bangs on his door until he unlocks it, sleepy face.
She is shouting and speaking fast but he doesn’t seem to understand; then he removes his ear plugs and she frantically tells him what is going on in town right now and that it seems that old people have gone crazy and are killing young people are being killed religious reasons and that anyone under the age of 21 is not safe.
Anna urges Matthias to come with her to the church.
Matthias agrees but calls Andrew to warn him and ask him to meet them there.
EXT – CHURCH
A few young people are running into the church; down the road, a car is speeding towards it.
INT – CAR
Anna is driving fast, Matthias on the passenger side; she explained her theory behind the killings; he is shocked.
INT – CHURCH
Anna and Matthias are now in the church, with a few other young people, lost and terrified. Anna explains her theory of old people basing their killings upon biblical number, the number 21 representing the extreme sinfulness of sin and therefore must be killed. Matthias points out that the unusual strength and vitality of the killers – all in their sixties – must also have some religious meaning and the way people are killed – mutilated – must give them strength.
As they bounce ideas back, they have the dreaded feeling that the church may not be a safe place but quite the opposite!
They tell the others who refuse to leave this shelter; Anna looks outside and sees movement all around; Her and Matthias retreat behind the altar.
EXT – OUTSIDE THE CHURCH
The old monsters are converging towards the church.
From his vintage point in the woods, he can see a mob of old folks moving towards the church, soon his friends will be trapped;
Andrew thinks fast and acts even faster, making lots of noise to create a diversion; it works and the monsters turn around and come towards him;
Andrew turns back into the woods, followed by the mob, leaving a way for Anna and Matthias to escape and run back to the car.
Andrew runs deeper into the woods, he can hear branches cracking behind him, getting closer; suddenly, he falls with a painful scream – his right foot has been caught by a BEAR TRAP – he is on the ground, sees a thick wood stick, grabs it and looks up as a GRINNING OLD MAN looms above him.
INT – CAR – SAME TIME
Anna is behind the wheel, Matthias busy on his phone tells her that ‘Andrew is not picking up’; they look at each other, unable to state the obvious, that Andrew sacrificed himself for them.
EXT – ROAD BORDERING THE WOODS – CONTINOUS
Something just jumps out of a curve of the road, Matthias shouts to Anna to ‘Watch out!’ as she swerves at the last seconds to avoid Andrew, bleeding profusely from his right leg and holding the side of his neck with a bloody piece of cloth.
Anna reversed quickly and Matthias helps his friend to get in the back then they take off.
Andrew explains how he fell into a bear trap and managed to escape fighting a creature with a stick, but not before the monster took a chunk out of his neck ‘he was trying to eat me!’ he explains and gently moves the cloth from his neck so that Matthias can see the blood rushing out an artery;
Andrew and Matthias exchange a meaningful look which means they know Andrew hasn’t got much time left; Anna doesn’t notice the exchange, her concentration on the road, she puts her foot on the break so abruptly that Matthias nearly kisses the windscreen.
EXT – FURTHER AHEAD ON THE ROAD – CONTINUOUS
A mob armed with sticks, walking canes, knives are blocking the only escape route out of town; behind them, the sign “GRAHAMSTOWN WILL MISS YOU” is taunting them.
Matthias shouts at Anna to ‘put her foot on the gaz and squash the mother fuckers!’ but she can’t find in her to kill old folks, even if most of them are monsters.
While they are busy arguing, Andrew quietly leaves the car and, still holding the stick that saved his life in the woods, moves slowly towards the mob;
By the time Anna and Matthias notice what he is doing and scream for him to get back in the car, Andrew is already half way to the group who is already moving in to circle him;
Anna sees a gap in the road and hitting the gaz pedal with Matthias screaming for her to ‘wait for him!’; rushing pass the mob as they overtake Andrew, fighting like an ox but obviously losing his final battle.
Matthias looks in the rear mirror as his friend made the ultimate sacrifice so that he could escape and write his story; the Pullitzer price taking on a bitter taste.
EXT – POST SIGN INDICATING THEY’VE LEFT ‘GRAHAMSTOWN’
INT – CAR
Anna drives for a little while – they’re both silent – then she stops at a bus stop and asks Matthias to ‘get out, you’re safe now’. As he doesn’t understand, she tells him the bus will take him to the train station and he can catch a train back home; that he has a story to write.
She tells him she is the graced one, that they will never harm her, and therefore her duty is to go back to town and make sure the good that is left amongst the elderly prevail against evil; showing her unshakable faith to Matthias who understand that she will not change her mind and believe it’s her fate.
They exchange their first kiss – Anna’s very first kiss – and Matthias slowly gets out the car.
EXT – POST SIGN INDICATING ‘GRAHAMSTOWN WELCOMES YOU!”’
Matthias watches as Anna drives back into town.
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BOB KIELY’S READABLE OUTLINE:
What I learned doing this assignment is that I had a lot of horror tropes and situations and content to draw upon when fleshing out the plot.
COLD OPEN
An old witch as only attendee to a funeral in a creepy “potters field” cemetery. Cheap tombstone marker dates the burial as 1860.
ACT ONE
INT. TOWN HALL – MEETING ROOM – NIGHT
A developer is presenting his proposal to the zoning board for approval to build condos over an old forgotten cemetery. Despite a few objection, he gets the approval, subject to him relocating the graves of the remaining six graves. An elderly looking woman with s should on warns that the project will be cursed.
EXT. CEMETERY – DAY
The developer is talking to a man operating a bulldozer and directs the man to plow over the old grave markers. The man does it and when finished, shuts off the machine for the day. Before leaving the site, he relieves himself on the place where the graves were. As he begins to walk away, he is sucked down into the ground.
INT. LARGE CONDO UNIT – DAY
Te developer is pitching the condos to prospects in the now completed project. Among the attendees, are three couples who become main characters or victims.
INT. CONDO UNIT – DAY
Couple one (Anne and John) is hosting a housewarming party at their new purchase. Two other couples are there. They pooh-pooh the warning the old lady gave and give a mock toast to the old hag. Anne doesn’t toast and is heckled by a gay couple, Peter and Steve. Couple three is Bill and Donna, a glib. Lawyer and an opportunistic real estate broker, who is the selling agent of the building.
INT. ANNE AND JOHN’S CONDO UNIT – NIGHT
Anne and John are sleeping. Anne gets awoken by strange creaking sounds. She lays back down with her eyes open.
INT. PETER AND STEVE’S CONDO UNIT – NIGHT
Steve and Peter are sleeping. A loud slamming door wakes them both up. They argue who should check it out. Steve does and doesn’t come back. Peter gets up to see what happened to Steve. He can’t find him anywhere. Suddenly, he is grabbed from behind by Steve who punched him.
INT. ANNE AND JOHN’S CONDO UNIT – DAY
Anne is on the computer and opens the building website. John is at the kitchen counter eating breakfast. Anne tells him that Bill and Donna also heard creaking sounds and had their doors open and shut by themselves, and that Steve and Peter complained of the same thing.
INT. ANNE AND JOHN’S CONDO UNIT – DAY – LATER
More weird sounds and distant laughing can be heard from the central AC system.
LATER – NIGHT
The group is assembled and discussed the previous night’s events. Lawyer Bill becomes “de facto” head of the board and says he will have the corrupt inspector come back to investigate the structure and building systems. Anne volunteers to be secretary.
INT. ANNE AND JOHN’S CONDO – DAY
Anne is alone. The bell rings and it’s the building inspector. He asks to be buzzed in and says he will come up after he investigates the structural elements and mechanical system in the basement. He doesn’t come up. Anne goes down to investigate. It’s quiet and creepy. She can’t find him. Theres a room with a door locked from inside. She knocks and calls his name. Nothing. She sees blood seeping from under he door. She runs out.
INT. CONDO BUILDING LOBBY – day
Two cops and a homicide detective come to investigate. They have to breakdown the door to get in. They discover the inspnctordead lying in a pool of blood. A heavy steel beam lying next to him.
Act 2
INT. ANNE AND JOHN’S CONDO UNIT – NIGHT
The group convenes again to discuss the disturbing events of the day. Anne suggests that there may be some metaphysical going on. Steve and Peter lampoon her comments and Steve even decides to check it out himself. Both go down to the basement. All follow except for John who says he wants to finish up the minutes.
INT. BASEMENT IN CONDO – NIGHT
Steve opens the door to the room where the inspector was found. He goes in gingerly followed by the others. The room leads to another door, which opens to an underground tunnel, which is dimly lit in the distance. All want to leave, but Steve insists he go ahead; he does alone. We hear a scream and see him being attacked by someone with a scythe in shadows cast on the tunnel wall. All run to get out, but the door is stuck or locked. They hear eerie laughter in distance coming closer. At the point of hysteria, the door is opened by John.
INT. ANNE AND JOHN’S CONDO UNIT – NIGHT
The group is assembled. They can’t get phones to work and the front door to the apartment is mysteriously locked. Peter, who is in shock, says he will go down the fire escape and go get help. He The group discusses the situation which has now become very real.
INT. CONDO BUILDING LOBBY – NIGHT
Peter hears Steve’s voice calling from the basement. He slowly goes down. It’s coming from the room of the tragedies. He is being beckoned to come in. He opens the door and sees what he believes is Steve. When he get closer, the figure turns. It’s the with with burning red eyes. Steve screams with no-one to hear.
INT. ANNE AND JOHN’S CONDO UNIT – NIGHT
When Steve doesn’t return, John goes down to look for him. They force the door open. LATER John comes back and tells the group that he found Steve dead with head cut off, and that the building is sealed off by a powerful electronic files. They know the goose is cooked. They argue what to do. He says he saw the apparition but it seems like it can’t come into the building past the tunnel. They strategy with Lawyer Bill as the de facto general. He devises a plan to meet with the witch and have a moot court for her to desist and leave everyone alone, or have her leave her domain , lose her powers and kill her with a handgun he has.
INT. ROOM IN CONDO BASEMENT
The four remaining owners are in the room which has been set up as a mobile courtroom. Lawyer Bill summons the which and she responds. She comes up to the door but doesn’t enter. He conducts a formidable legal defense, and he thinks he wins only to have her dismiss the trial as a powerless joke. In the trial she explains her rational the 6 graves were destroyed and violated and she calls for an eye for an eye and she has to get 2 more victims in or associated with the condo. Her verdict is guilty and she through kenises has him ascend to the ceiling and out into the tunnel where she throws him. She tells him she needs one more. The group pleads to give them time to select. She relents, but just for a day, or says she will reduce the building to rubble.
ACT 3
ANNE AND JOHN’S CONDO PROJECT – NIGHT
The remaining three are in the apartment talking about their desperate situation. John comes up with a plan to go into her tunnel and draw her out.
INT. ROOM IN BASEMENT – NIGHT
John enters the tunnel and the two women stay behind.He goes into the tunnel and Anne’s ca runs after him. Anne goes in to get the cat. Donna closes the door to the tunnel and locks it and runs out of the room.
INT. TUNNEL – NIGHT
Anne tries to find John. She quite goes deeper into the tunnel when suddenly, she is grabbed from behind and hand over mouth. She struggles to get free but can’t. The perp turns her to face him and makes a stay quiet sign with his finger. She nods yet. He explains he is a squatter and sleeps in the maze without the witch know, and that he can guide them out. John comes up not have been able to find the witch. Suddenly we hear the witch taunting him . The voice gets closer and closer . The man tells John and Anne to follow him. He runs through the maze which he know like the palm of his hand. The witch is getting closer and closer. A light appears at the end of one of the corridors and they all run toward it. John wants Anne to go first through the opening, but she hasn’t found her cat, and John has to push her up through it. Now the witch is very close and upon the two men. She starts to have the escape hatch close and tells them she needs one more to be even. The homeless guy basically sacrifices himself and prevails upon John to leave, which he does barely.
EXT. GRAVEYARD MAUSOLEUM – NIGHT
John and Anne are hugging each other as the electronic shield goes dark and police and people start to enter the complex yard. Anne is distraught about losing her cat but he pops up from the small space leading from the tunnel. They walk toward the exit and meet Donna who is leaving with a suitcase. She tries to explain why she locked her door, and Anne and John just tell her they won’t do anything or tell anyone about it. Donna tries to get them to hire her to look for new digs. They refuse.
FADE OUT
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ROB’S HORROR OUTLINE – VERSION 1
What I learned: I keep learning new things about my story every lesson. This might have been the easiest outline I’ve written because I feel I knew these characters better than any story before. Still feel like I’m over writing.
INT. LIVING ROOM – BEACH HOUSE – NIGHT
A Hospice Nurse wakes Jerry Scheckla, a terminally ill cancer patient, whose resting in his favorite chair that overlooks Haystack Rock and surrounding beach. Jerry, for a moment, thinks it’s his wife waking him up. It’s time for bed, but Jerry’s not ready. He bickers with the Nurse, but she puts him in his place.
INT. MASTER BEDROOM – BEACH HOUSE – LATER
Jerry wakes, startled by a dream. As he lays in bed, we hear the sound of hospital equipment and a heart rate monitor. From outside his window, the sound of crashing waves. Then, from the darkness, a beautiful woman appears, walking straight towards his glass French doors. Jerry is confused, yet drawn to her beauty. The woman stops at the door and places a hand against the glass. Tears well up in Jerry’s eyes. He recognizes her. The door knob slowly turns and the door pushes open. But the lady has vanished.
The sound of bare feet on hardwood floor makes Jerry sit up. The heart rate monitor increases. He witnesses sandy feet print materialize in front of him. The blankets rustle at the foot of the bed as an invisible presence crawls up Jerry’s body. Jerry screams as the heart rate monitor alarm sounds.
INT. KITCHEN – BEACH HOUSE – NIGHT
The Hospice Nurse hears the old man’s scream and drops what she’s doing. Grumbles about the need to get her homework done.
INT. MASTER BEDROOM – BEACH HOUSE – NIGHT
The Nurse finds Jerry tangled up and struggling with his bedsheets and the back door wide open. Jerry tells her that someone is in the room. The Nurse looks around, but no one is there. The floor no longer has feet print. “No one’s here, Jerry.” He demands that she check the closet. “Aren’t’ you a little old to be afraid of Monters?” She checks the closet; no one is there. She checks under the bed. Again, nothing is there. She lifts her head to talk to Jerry and comes face to face with a decomposed corpse of a woman. The corpse screams “Get out!” The Nurse flees, while praying to God for protection.
INT. LIVING ROOM – BEACH HOUSE – NIGHT
The nurse runs down the hallway towards the front door, when a side table moves on its own and trips her. The Nurse crashes flat on her stomach. For a moment, everything seems fine. From behind, the sound of a crying woman. The Nurse is dragged shockingly fast by an unseen force into the old man’s office. The door slams as she screams.
INT. LIVING ROOM – DUPLEX – NIGHT
Abby Tillman interviews a Single Mom and her two kids (Teenage Boy and Young Girl) about paranormal activity they are experiencing in their home. The Mom talks through an experience with loud banging noises.
INT. CRAWL SPACE – DUPLEX – NIGHT
Tommy McClees wiggles through a dirty crawlspace, covered in cobwebs. He discovers the old pipes are to blame for the banging noises.
INT. LIVING ROOM – DUPLEX – NIGHT
The Teenage Son explains how he always feels like he’s being watched in his room.
INT. BOY’S BEDROOM – DUPLEX – NIGHT
Noelle Johnson uses an EMF Detector to take readings of the Teenage Boy’s electronics setup. The Dual Monitors, PC Tower, gaming consoles and Flat screen TV put off a high amount of electromagnetism.
INT. LIVING ROOM – DUPLEX – NIGHT
The Young Girl experiences strange smells and hears voices that are “ugly,” in her bedroom.
INT. YOUNG GIRL’S BEDROOM – DUPLEX – NIGHT
Abby lays next to the Young Girl on her bed, staring at the ceiling. They bond over Abby’s advice on debunking the paranormal. Suddenly the room is filled with the sound of horror. Abby recognizes it as she presses an ear up against the bedroom wall. Then the smell hits her. She recognizes it instantly. It’s a horror movie. She opens the window and spots the neighbor teen smoking marijuana by the AC unit. The good news? The house isn’t haunted.
INT. LIVING ROOM – DUPLEX – MORNING
Tommy and Noelle pack up the investigation equipment as Abby explains their findings. The odd noises are debunked by the pipes. The feeling of being watched is due to high EMF in the house. Research suggests that our brains are susceptible to subtle changes in the surrounding electromagnetic fields that can induce both visual and auditory hallucinations. The smells and sounds are due to a neighbor that likes death metal and marijuana. The mom and her daughter are relieved. The son is annoyed. He wanted to get on Ghost Escape.
EXT. BEACH HOUSE – MORNING
Al Scheckla arrives to his childhood home with his wife Barbara and his teenage daughter, Ellie. The front door is open. The Scheckla’s proceed cautiously.
INT. LIVING ROOM – MORNING
Al steps in the front door and finds the house in complete disarray. Furniture is toppled, knickknacks and picture frames are scattered. It looks like a tornado went off. Ellie is creeped out by the large number of animal heads mounted to the wall. Barbara thinks they have a lot of work to do. (Cleaning.) Barbara discovers the jigsaw puzzle on a table by the window.
KITCHEN – The Nurse’s homework lays scattered on the kitchen floor. Dishes clutter the sink.
HALLWAY – Al makes his way down the hallway towards his father’s room. His childhood pictures line the hallway walls.
INT. MASTER BEDROOM – BEACH HOUSE – MORNING
Al finds his father, alone and afraid, huddled in the corner of the room, shaking with fear. The back door off the master bedroom is wide open. Al learns that the Nurse abandoned the old man and gets angry. A tremor rocks the beach house and a picture frame flies across the room and shatters against the wall. It’s a photo of Al’s mother. The mystery woman in the opening scene. Al smell’s something awful. “Do you smell that?” The Old Man – “I shit myself, you asshole, of course I smell it.”
INT. LAUNDRY ROOM – BEACH HOUSE – MORNING
Barbara busies herself with washing the old man’s bed sheets.
INT. LIVING ROOM – BEACH HOUSE – MORNING
Ellie enters, carrying luggage from the car. She wants to know where she’s sleeping. Barbara says she has two choices, the living room with the animal heads, or grandma’s old hobby room.
INT. MASTER BATHROOM – BEACH HOUSE – MORNING
The sound of a bathtub filling. Al carries his frail old father and carefully lowers him into a warm bathtub. He notices the bruising on the old man’s body. Did the nurse do that? Al sits on the toilet and calls Hospice Care.
INT. DOLL ROOM – BEACH HOUSE – MORNING
Ellie enters the bedroom to discover over 100 porcelain dolls of various sizes sitting on floor to ceiling shelves. She throws her bag on the bed and takes a closer look. Barbara pokes her head in and wants to know if the rooms too creepy. Ellie says it’s fine. ‘They’re just dolls, mom. Better than animal heads” Barbara leaves her to unpack.
INT. MASTER BATHROOM – BEACH HOUSE – MORNING
Al fights with Hospice Care on the phone. Al learns that the hospice nurse has not come home and that the hospice care won’t send any more nurses. They all refuse to work there based on “experiences.”
INT. LIVING ROOM – BEACH HOUSE – MORNING
Barbara finishes picking up the living room. Everything has been returned to its rightful place. She finds an old family album and sits down to look at it.
INT. DOLL ROOM – BEACH HOUSE – MORNING
Ellie witnesses a luminous ball of light, dancing and flittering through the air. She begins to follow it.
INT. HALLWAY – BEACH HOUSE – MORNING
The light makes it way down the hallway, bouncing off pictures. The light disappears into the old man’s office. The door is slightly cracked.
INT. OFFICE ROOM – BEACH HOUSE – MORNING
Ellie slowly pushes the door open to reveal a perfectly normal office. The desk is cluttered with old paperwork. The walls are adorned with coastal art and animal trophies. The main feature is a floor to ceiling bookshelf that takes up an entire wall. Ellie watches as the luminous light anomaly disappears into a safe. The door pops open. Curious, Ellie looks inside.
INT. MASTER BATHROOM – BEACH HOUSE – MORNING
Al screams that he’ll just take care of his father himself. The Hospice Care warns that the old man’s condition is critical and that he should be in a hospital. The old man refuses to leave. Jerry’s living will strictly forbids it. He wants to die in his home. Al hangs up. He needs to speak with Barbara.
INT. OFFICE ROOM – BEACH HOUSE – MORNING
She pulls out a stack of photos revealing various woman in assorted stages of undress. The photo’s get kinkier and more hardcore bdsm as she flips through them. Grossed out, she shoves the photos back in the safe and locks it. “Jesus, grandpa. What are you in to?” Further searching Ellie is started by her father. “What are you doing in here?”
INT. LIVING ROOM – BEACH HOUSE – MORNING
Al breaks the news that they’ll need to take care of grandpa. How much time does he have? Not long. He could go at any time. Grandpa’s number one rule: Stay out of his office.
INT. MASTER BATHROOM – BEACH HOUSE – MORNING
Jerry relaxes in the bath, lost in memories. The temperature is dropping and we can see Jerry’s breath in shallow puffs. He closes his eyes as a female’s hands caress his wet hair with shampoo. It’s comforting. A voice says, “Rinse.” Shivering with cold, Jerry slides his face and body under water, only for the surface water to instantly freeze. Jerry is trapped under the ice. Jerry screams under water and pounds the ice. But he’s too weak to break through. There’s something under the ice, holding him down. Jerry struggles against it.
Al enters and sees the ice layer. Frantically he pounds the ice with his fist. It’s too thick. He rips the towel holder off the wall and smashes the ice. Finally, it breaks and he pulls his father free from the tub. There they lay, in a pile of ice and water. Barbara and Ellie rush in. Grandpa is turning blue. Get a blanket!
INT. MASTER BEDROOM – BEACH HOUSE – MORNING
Ellie finds the bed empty. The sheets are in the wash. Barbara remembers a blanket on the couch in the living room.
INT. LIVING ROOM – BEACH HOUSE – MORNING
Barbara runs into the living room to find that it’s been completely wrecked, again. Ellie stops behind her. Barbara asks if it’s a joke. The photo album is gone, replaced by an old box. Inside is Al’s childhood View Master collection. Barbara grabs the blanket and runs.
INT. LIVING ROOM – BEACH HOUSE – DAY
Now that the old man is resting comfortably in his room, the Scheckla family convene for a talk. They discuss the living room mess, the light anomaly and the ice tub. The ladies are frightened. Al assures them that the house is safe. He knows because he grew up there. They’re startled as a bird smashes hard against the living room window. Blood drips down as the bird falls to the ground. Al – That was not a ghost. Ellie – I know there’s no such thing as monsters.
INT. PARAPSYCHOLOGY LAB – OREGON UNIVERSITY – DAY
Noelle help’s Tommy as he’s working on a piece of equipment. They eavesdrop on an argument between Dr. Daniel Tillman and a University Official. Abby arrives and hears the commotion. The Doc is getting heated. The lab has lost its funding and must close immediately. All equipment is University owned and must be surrendered at once. The Doc is furious. The Doc decides it’s time to retire. He tells happy she should stop chasing ghosts or she’ll end up like him, “Unpublished and a laughing stock in the scientific community.”
INT. LIVING ROOM – BEACH HOUSE – NIGHT
Barbara works the jigsaw puzzle, as Al rests on the couch.
INT. MASTER BEDROOM – BEACH HOUSE – NIGHT
Ellie spends time with her grandfather. She loads a view master slide into the viewer and clicks through each slide. Then holds it up to grandpa’s face so he can see. The first slide is a majestic outdoor scene. But with each click, the slides reveal a different woman in various states of decomposition. The old man panics. The final slide is of the old man’s missing wife. The view master is pulled out of Ellie’s hand and breaks against the wall. The air cools and a pungent smell hits Ellie’s nose. Suddenly the old man is punched hard in the face by an invisible fist and his body convulses like he’s being shaken. Ellie breaks down sobbing and screams for help. Al and Barbara rush in. Al is speechless. He jumps on the bed but can’t hold Jerry down. Barbara pulls Ellie away for protection, as Ellie records the attack on her cell phone. It stops just as sudden as it starts. Jerry just wants to die.
INT. LIVING ROOM – BEACH HOUSE – NIGHT
Ellie and Barbara discuss their need for help. They scour the internet and find Dr. Tillman’s name.
INT. MASTER BEDROOM – BEACH HOUSE – NIGHT
Al and Jerry talk. “I want to talk about Mom.” Al opens up about his marital problems.
INT. OFFICE – PARAPSYCHOLOGY LAB – MORNING
Abby receives an email from Barbara with some astonishing footage from the Scheckla house. She tries to convince her grandfather to investigate. The Professor declines.
INT. PARAPSYCHOLOGY LAB – MORNING
Abby fills Noelle and Tommy in on the Scheckla’s situation. She refuses to quit like her grandfather. (The Doc) She shows them the video footage of the paranormal attack. Noelle thinks it could’ve been faked. Tommy thinks it could be a reaction to the natural end-of-life experience. Abby counters – “They’re people in need of help.” She’s going with or without them. They all agree to one last investigation. They load up the Mobile Lab (modified RV) with the equipment they’ll need and head to the coast.
INT. LIVING ROOM – BEACH HOUSE – DAY
Investigation Day 1 – Tommy and Noelle load in equipment, while Abby interviews the Scheckla family. Questions about background, medical history, psychological background, medications and family dynamic. We learn that Al’s mother left the family in 1995 and never kept in contact. Al gives the investigators a tour of the house.
KITCHEN – DAY
Nothing out of the ordinary. Tommy takes EMF measurements, while Noelle takes temperature readings.
INT. OFFICE – BEACH HOUSE DAY
EMF Detector goes berserk, though nothing seems out of the ordinary. Abby feels extremely cold and wants equipment set up here. Noelle finds a cold spot by the bookshelf.
INT. AL’S BEDROOM – BEACH HOUSE – DAY
Al’s childhood bedroom hasn’t changed since he moved out. EMF continues to register high. Abby feels nothing. Al and Barbara haven’t experienced anything in this room. The luggage is stacked in the corner.
INT. DOLL ROOM – BEACH HOUSE – DAY
The investigators think this is the creepiest room in the house. EMF is off the charts.
INT. MASTER BEDROOM – BEACH HOUSE – DAY
Abby meets Jerry, who’s a bit grumpy about the strangers in his house. Ellie tells him to be nice. This is where most of the disturbances happen. Tommy and Noelle begin setting up cameras and equipment, while Abby talks with Jerry.
INT. LIVING ROOM/KITCHEN/OFFICE/DOLL ROOM/MASTER BEDROOM – NIGHT
Abby and Noelle walk the house, recording an EVP session and taking polaroid pictures. “We are speaking to the entity in this house. Give us a sign of your presence.” Tommy monitors cameras and equipment readings from the mobile lab.
INT. MASTER BEDROOM – BEACH HOUSE – NIGHT
The EVP session continues, while Noelle snaps photos. They experience their first visual evidence of the paranormal as luminous balls of light shoot across the room. The light turns to arcs of electricity that pop and snap like lightening. The electricity attacks Jerry, who writhes in pain. Noelle’s first instinct is to run, but Abby stops her and tells her to take photos. The electricity attack knocks out the house’s power. When it stops, the old man begs for mercy.
INT. MOBILE LAB – RV – NIGHT
Abby is shaking with excitement and is eager to study the evidence. This could be their big break. Tommy talks himself out of what he saw. He thinks they got enough evidence and should leave. Abby and Noelle both agree, there’s no way they’re leaving.
INT. MOBILE LAB – RV – NIGHT – LATER
Tommy and Noelle review the recorded EVP session for evidence. Tommy finds a clue, “We are waiting.” Noelle says, “Add it to the bunch.” Abby reviews the polaroid photos. One of them shows the silhouette of a human shape in electricity. This is the best evidence they’ve ever captured. This could make their careers.
INT. MOBILE LAB – RV – NIGHT – LATER
Tommy and Abby are getting some sleep, while Noelle keeps an eye on the cameras. On the monitor, Jerry sleeps soundly. There’s a tap on the RV door. Noelle opens the door and sees a ball of light disappear into the open front door of the house. A voice calls to her.
INT. LIVING ROOM – BEACH HOUSE – NIGHT
Noelle is lured into the house, following the ball of light and voice. It leads her to the jigsaw puzzle. The puzzle is nearly complete, only the center is missing. There doesn’t seem to be enough pieces left. Noelle is attacked by The Jigsaw Lady (a woman whose skin has been carved out in the shape of jigsaw pieces. Noelle attempts to flee but is forcibly dragged back. She’s hung by the neck by an invisible wire and forced to look at the incomplete puzzle. She fights for her life.
INT. MOBILE LAB – RV – NIGHT
Noelle’s screaming on the monitor wakes Abby and Tommy.
INT. MASTER BEDROOM – BEACH HOUSE – NIGHT
Jerry suffers another attack and begins coughing and choking. Al wakes, sitting in a chair at his father’s bedside. Jerry coughs up a number of bloody jigsaw puzzle pieces. Ellie comes in to check. Al sends her to get Abby and the crew.
INT. LIVING ROOM – BEACH HOUSE – NIGHT
Abby and Tommy burst into the house as Ellie arrives to the living room. They try to help Noelle but are powerless to stop it. The house shakes violently, then it’s over. Noelle slumps to ground, gasping for breath. Abby feels something evil.
INT. LIVING ROOM – BEACH HOUSE – MORNING
Dr. Tillman arrives unannounced, having sensed his team is in danger. He feels the “resonance” immediately. Like being trapped at the deep end of the pool. He checks on Noelle’s bruised neck. The lesson? Tommy – “Always stick together, there’s strength in numbers.” Dr. Tillman’s background is explained. Al’s willing to do anything the Doctor says.
INT. MASTER BEDROOM – BEACH HOUSE – MORNING
Dr. Tillman meets Ellie and Jerry. After a moment of bonding with Ellie, Dr. Tillman agrees to look at the evidence collected.
INT. AL’S BEDROOM – BEACH HOUE – MORNING
Barbara pulls Al and Ellie aside and wants to leave. She wants to take Ellie and go. Ellie refuses to leave her grandfather. It’s tense.
INT. MOBILE LAB – RV – DAY
Abby, Noelle and Tommy proudly show the evidence they collected. The EMF readings are astounding at the times of the paranormal activity. The time it happens is connected to low tide. The Doc has never seen this before. The Doc reviews the polaroid evidence that shows the silhouette of 5 entities. Doc – “Perceptual Expectancy. You’re seeing what you what to see. Are we documenting the end-of-life experience? The Doc reviews the recorded EVP’s. Separate they seem like intelligent responses to questions. When edited together, they create a chilling message: “Trapped. We are waiting. First, he suffers, then he dies. Kill them all.” The Doc is not impressed. “This is auditory pareidolia. We’re scientists, not plumbers by day ghost hunters by night. Do better.”
INT. LIVING ROOM – BEACH HOUSE – DAY
Abby and Noelle show Dr. Tillman the jigsaw puzzle. The pieces Jerry coughed up formed the center, revealing Haystack Rock. The Doc looks through the window and sees the real thing. Haystack Rock, low tide…Dr. Tillman is curious.
INT. MASTER BEDROOM – BEACH HOUSE – NIGHT
Low Tide approaches and the investigators set up for an experiment. There’s still no power, so they use flashlights and candles. No EVP, no gadgets…The Doc just wants them to use their senses. Right on cue at low tide, it starts. The back door of the master bedroom opens. Anything with a battery is drained of power. Candles blow out. It’s pitch dark. The luminous balls of light return, shooting across the bedroom and disappear into the wall above Jerry’s bed. A full torso apparition of a decomposed woman forms at the foot of Jerry’s bed and then dissipates into mist. The room shakes. The bed sheets are ripped off of Jerry. He’s levitated out of bed and punched and slapped over and over. Objects from the room are thrown at the old man. Al and Ellie try to pull him down, but they are thrown backwards. Electricity snaps and pops in the air. Objects fall out of the mist and hit the floor. (Jewelry, child’s drawing and a family photo.) Al recognizes the objects, but says nothing. Barbara screams – “Leave us alone!” Al and Ellie pull Jerry out of the air, being pelted by objects. They cover him on the ground. Tommy pulls out his cross necklace and begins to pray. The Doc tells him to put it away. No time for superstition. Barbara runs out of the room.
INT. LIVING ROOM – BEACH HOUSE – NIGHT
Barbara is overwhelmed and stands crying in the hallway. She hears crying behind her and turns around to see the upper torso of a male corpse crawling towards her from the office.
INT. MASTER BEDROOM – BEACH HOUSE – NIGHT
The phenomenon suddenly stops. Al and Ellie fight back tears and console Jerry. The Doc is reinvigorated and is excited to review the evidence again.
INT. LIVING ROOM – BEACH HOUSE – NIGHT
After reviewing the recorded evidence, Dr. Tillman reveals his theory. “I’ve seen this before.” The house is not haunted, we are experiencing a Poltergeist. He explains the term (RSPK) Recurrent Spontaneous Psychokinesis and the meaning of a Poltergeist agent. Someone in this house is manifesting this phenomenon with psychokinesis. This house is located in an electromagnetically anomalous environment and may be amplifying the experience. Usually, the poltergeist agent tends to be a young adolescent, going through an emotional turmoil. Abby’s backstory Abby’s backstory and the death of her mom is explained and how it ties together with what’s happening now. It will stop on its own. Hypnosis may help.
INT. ABBY’S CHILDHOOD BEDROOM – FLASHBACK – NIGHT
Young Abby has a psychic tantrum and accidently kills her mother.
INT. LIVING ROOM – BEACH HOUSE – NIGHT
Abby is shocked. The doc had been keeping this from her. “I did not kill my mother with psychokinesis” Abby argues with her grandfather, then storms off. Al leaves to check on Barbara and Ellie.
INT. AL’S BEDROOM – BEACH HOUSE – NIGHT
Al discovers Barbara’s luggage is missing. The car is gone. Barbara left them.
INT. MASTER BEDROOM – BEACH HOUSE – NIGHT
Al tells Ellie about Barbara and they argue. Jerry pretends to sleep. Ellie runs out the back door.
EXT. BEACH – BEACH HOUSE – NIGHT
Ellie finds Abby sitting on a driftwood log. They bond over Abby’s story of seeing her dead mother as a child. They are interrupted by Dr. Tillman. Ellie heads to bed. The Doc explains himself. He wanted to shield her from the pain. Abby was the most powerful psychic he had ever encountered. But after the accident, Abby always subconsciously repressed her natural psychic ability. He suggests a radical experiment using the “God Helmet” to stimulate Abby’s pineal gland and awaken her dormant 3rd eye. If they can tune to the same Resonance as the poltergeist agent, they learn from it. Maybe even stop it. The geomagnetic anomaly may help boost the signal. “I couldn’t help you then, but we can help Ellie now. Together.”
INT. LIVING ROOM – BEACH HOUSE – NIGHT
Abby sits in a chair, wearing a garage made helmet, wired with electrodes and sensors. Wires run to a variety of monitoring equipment. She feels stupid. The Doc guides her through a hypnosis session until Abby’s vision takes over.
INT. CAR – ABBY’S VISION – NIGHT
Pamela Scheckla is strangled and stabbed in the front seat of a car. It’s sloppy and brutal.
INT. KILL ROOM – ABBY’S VISION – NIGHT
A man hangs from the ceiling, missing the lower half of his body.
A headless woman sitting in a room of plastic wrap. Her brains splattered on the plastic wall behind her.
A dead woman on a table. Jigsaw pieces have been cut from her skin and placed out to dry.
A dead woman, wearing a cracked porcelain mask lays naked in a bathtub full of milk. Blood drips. The contrast of red and white is striking.
The vision escalates.
Quick flashes of: More dead woman, a large steel box, an old steel door and an ornate key.
INT. BLACK VOID – ABBY’S VISION – NIGHT
Abby stands in a vast black space. She concentrates and a dim light fades up revealing Abby’s surrounded by corpses. Abby screams
INT. LIVING ROOM – BEACH HOUSE – NIGHT
Dr. Tillman brings Abby out of the trance. She’s never experienced anything like it before. Feelings? Sure…but never visions. Dr. Tillman thinks she’s capable of so much more.
INT. MASTER BEDROOM – BEACH HOUSE – NIGHT
The Old Man Reveals to Al and the group the story of his missing wife and her lover. A man, he thinks was a serial killer. The Key reminds Al of his fondest memory; making a time capsule (the steel box) with his father after his mom left. They filled it with her favorite items as a way to grieve and buried it inside a cave on Haystack rock. They buried it the night before a law went into effect, making it illegal to climb or enter the cave. The items that materialized out of thin air were his mom’s items. If the apported items are not in the time capsule, then what is? Al discovers her wedding ring is missing. Abby theorizes that the mother is trying to make contact. Maybe she’s attached to that ring and can’t rest until she’s reunited with it. Dr. Tillman think’s that’s nonsense. He thinks this is all emanating from Ellie.
INT. OFFICE – BEACH HOUSE – NIGHT
Al opens the safe and finds the stack of Polaroids. Embarrassed he tucks them away. He pulls the out the key sitting on top of a file of newspaper clippings. Abby, Noelle, Tommy and Al head out to Haystack Rock. Dr. Tillman stays with Jerry.
EXT. BEACH – BEACH HOUSE – NIGHT
The investigators hike towards Haystack rock, which land locked due to the low tide. Each carrying a shovel.
INT. MASTER BEDROOM – BEACH HOUSE NIGHT
Dr. Tillman explains to Jerry the psychic talent of Psychometry; the ability to discover facts about an event or person, simply by touching an item associated with them. Dr. Tillman wants to try it with the newspaper articles about missing woman.
INT. DOLL ROOM – BEACH HOUSE – NIGHT
Ellie wakes to the sound of pitter patter of tiny feet on the hardwood floor. She turns on a flash light, but nothing seems to have moved.
EXT. BEACH – HAYSTACK ROCK – NIGHT
The investigators make their way carefully through the tide pools of Haystack Rock. Al leads the way to a cave. A sign reads No Trespassing/Unlawful to Enter CITY CODE. They head inside.
INT. CAVE – HAYSTACK ROCK – NIGHT
The investigators make their way through the damp cave.
INT. MASTER BEDROOM – BEACH HOUSE NIGHT
Dr. Tillman pulls an article from the file about a missing local woman. He closes his eyes and concentrates. Jerry looks bewildered. After a long moment, the Doc puts the article down. Nothing.
INT. DOLL ROOM – BEACH HOUSE – NIGHT
More sound of movement. Louder this time. Ellie swings her flash light towards the source. Dolls have shifted around. She hides under her blanket.
INT. CAVE – HAYSTACK ROCK – NIGHT
Al says this is the spot. They begin to dig.
INT. MASTER BEDROOM – BEACH HOUSE NIGHT
Dr. Tillman pulls another article out of the file about a missing woman. Closes his eyes and concentrates. Jerry’s eyes him suspiciously. Again, nothing.
INT. DOLL ROOM – BEACH HOUSE – NIGHT
Ellie peaks out from under her blanket and shines her flashlight. The dolls have completely vanished.
INT. CAVE – HAYSTACK ROCK – NIGHT
A shovel makes contact with metal. They found it. The investigators dig faster.
INT. MASTER BEDROOM – BEACH HOUSE NIGHT
Dr. Tillman holds up another article but is stopped by a scream from Ellie’s room.
INT. DOLL ROOM – BEACH HOUSE – NIGHT
Ellies flashlight dies. She runs for the door but is tripped by tiny hands from under the bed. The dolls are attacking her, pulling her under the bed. From the corner of the room, the Porcelain Lady watches in the darkness. Dr. Tillman bursts in and pulls Ellie to safety. He pushes her out of the room as the Porcelain Lady screams, “Don’t let her go!” The door slams behind them.
INT. MASTER BEDROOM – BEACH HOUSE NIGHT
The entire house is a paranormal storm of activity. Ellie and Dr. Tillman duck and dodge flying objects. Ellie wants to get her grandpa to safety. Dr. Tillman touches Jerry’s hand and his eyes go wide. The Doc is flung hard against the wall. Blood pours from his head. Before he passes out, he sees Ellie pulling her grandfather into a wheelchair.
INT. HALLWAY – BEACH HOUSE – NIGHT
Ellie pushes Jerry down the hallway towards the living room. The house rumbles, picture frames explode and glass showers down on them. Spirits come from all directions and funnel them into the office.
INT. OFFICE – BEACH HOUSE – NIGHT
Ellie slams the door and leans against it. Jerry reveals he knows of a safe place to hide.
INT. CAVE – HAYSTACK ROCK – NIGHT
Al and Tommy pull the steel box from the ground. It’s heavier than Al remembers. Al opens it with the key, but it’s rusted shut. The investigators beat on the steel box with shovels.
INT. OFFICE – BEACH HOUSE – NIGHT
A secret door is revealed in the floor to ceiling bookcase, revealing a stair case down to a secret room, with a stairlift for Jerry. Ellie straps Jerry in and begins to descend as the office door explodes inwards. The spirits are closing in, led by Jerry’s wife. The step by step the ghosts get closer. The stairlift moving excruciatingly slow. They reach the bottom. Ellie throws up a steel door and drags her grandfather into the darkness. The steel door slams shut and locks from within. The bookcase secret door resets itself.
INT. CAVE – HAYSTACK ROCK – NIGHT
The steel box finally gives and the lid is pops open. Al opens it to reveal the dismembered bones of his missing mother. Al has a full-on emotional breakdown. Abby senses it first – “Ellie’s in danger!”
INT. MASTER BEDROOM – BEACH HOUSE – NIGHT
Abby and the crew discover Dr. Tillman. He’s out cold. Written on the wall in his own blood – “It’s not Ellie. Follow the resonance.” The crew put it together. Jerry is the poltergeist agent.
INT. LIVING ROOM – BEACH HOUSE – NIGHT
The house looks like a bomb went off. The God Helmet is destroyed. Noelle – “Maybe you don’t need it?” Ellie focuses. The world falls away. It’s just her and the house. The spirits reveal themselves in human form. They point the way.
INT. OFFICE – BEACH HOUSE – NIGHT
Abby sees the ghost of her mom, who sings the same lullaby from her flashbacks. It clues her into what book to pull to open the secret door. She’s been getting this clue all her life! As the door opens, Abby falls out of her trance. Noelle and Tommy stay with Dr. Tillman. Al follows Abby down the stairs.
INT. KILL ROOM – BEACH HOUSE NIGHT
Jerry Scheckla’s private kill room. Trophies of murder victims line the wall. Scarily reminiscent of the animal trophies upstairs. Bone furniture. Skin tapestries. They discover The Hospice Nurses body, bent, twisted and broken. Startled, Al trips over Barbara’s luggage. He unzips it to find pieces of Barbara stuffed inside. Al fills with rage.
A scream from the rear of the dark room. Abby and Al push through plastic hanging from the ceiling to discover Jerry, sitting on an old bloody sofa, holding a knife to Ellie’s throat. Abby negotiates the situation. Jerry says he just wants one more…one more kill. He makes to slit Ellie’s throat, but Abby screams, “No!” The knife flies out of Jerry’s hand and embeds in the wall. Ellie shoves the weak old man off and runs to her father. Jerry lay’s crying on the sofa.
INT. MASTER BEDROOM – BEACH HOUSE – MORNING
Jerry has been returned to his bed. He’s too weak to move. Al sits quietly at his bedside. As the morning sun rises, Jerry confesses to the murder of Al’s mother. Al picks up a pillow and places it over his father’s face. The last thing Jerry sees is his dead wife holding the pillow, surrounded by all of his victims.
EXT. MOBILE LAB – MORNING
The coroner wheels out Jerry Scheckla’s body, followed by Barbara Scheckla. Police detectives work the crime scene. Al and Ellie Scheckla emerge from the house, shell shocked and battle worn. Police tape cordons off the crime scene. The investigators watch it all go down, leaning against the mobile lab. No one says a word, until Dr. Tillman breaks the silence. “This changes everything.” The Professor and Abby reconcile and agree that they were both right. The entities were a psychic manifestation of the Old Man’s rage and guilt. But the mom could have been legitimate incarnate spirit. Noelle – “We can’t quit.” Tommy agrees. He’s a full-on believer now.
INT. BARN LABORATORY – DAY
6 months later – The team has set up a makeshift lab in a barn.
Abby, Noelle and Tommy watch news coverage of their investigation with the Scheckla’s. They are news sensations after solving these decades old murders. Dr. Tillman wants to introduce the newest member of the team. It’s Ellie Scheckla. Her father inherited a fortune and has saw fit to fund the teams research, as long as Ellie can learn. Good thing, because Abby just got an email lead. On to the next case.
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Patrick Malone OUTLINE VERSION 1
What I learned is that having the layers I had created made it much easier to write this first version outline. I changed some things and developed some new ideas as I wrote. Below is Outline Version followed by the Tagged Outline.
OUTLINE VERSION 1
EXT. FOREST – DAY
SUPER: 1864
The last shots are heard along a trail through the forest of pines and palmetto palms. A band of Union soldiers have just ambushed six Confederate soldiers. Five Union and three Confederate soldiers lay dead.
Colonel Cassius Fairfield, the last surviving Union man, mounts his horse. He is about to fire at Confederate Sergeant Roland Johnson when a strange horrendous animal sound vibrates through the forest. Fairfield’s horse panics, turns and runs.
Sergeant Johnson and two survivors of lesser rank take this opportunity to move their wagon. The trees quake as something huge moves toward them. Both Sergeant Johnson and Colonel Fairfield turn to see a horrific creature snatch a corpse and sink its fangs into the body.
Terrified, Colonel Fairfield rides away. The Confederates use all their might to move their wagon out of there. The wagon holds Confederate gold.
EXT. TOWN OF APALACHICOLA, RIVER FRONT – DAY
SUPER: PRESENT DAY
Ollie Grier steps off one of the shrimp boats docked along the river. He is greeted by friend Bill Meriwether. They walk toward a bar/restaurant.
INT. OYSTER CITY BREWERY – DAY
Ollie sits with Bill and friend Clark Grady. Clark explains his plan to search for lost Confederate gold believed hidden in the wilderness by the Dead Lakes near Apalachicola. He wants Ollie to be their guide as he is an outdoorsman who knows the area. Ollie declines.
Bill tries humor, tells him it will be fun and a great opportunity to hang out together. And maybe strike it rich. Ollie is reluctant to join.
They are being watched from across the room by Grant Fairfield, Max Sedgwick and Fred Dickson. Max approaches Ollie’s table and tells him that Grant is upset that he didn’t guide their expedition to Tate’s Hell. Max is somewhat threatening.
Ollie tells Clark that Grant also had wanted him to join his expedition to find the lost gold in the Dead Lakes. But he doesn’t care to help those arrogant Northerners.
EXT. OYSTER CITY BREWERY – DAY
As Ollie leaves, Fred Dickson, a local, tells him that he is lucky not to have gone on Grant’s trek to Tate’s Hell. Grant is a mean bastard who pushes the men too hard. One almost died.
INT. CLARK GRADY’S HOUSE – DAY
Clark and Bill go over their plans to locate the lost Confederate gold. Clark has done lots of research. Bill is also quite well informed.
In 1864 as the Yankees were about to invade New Orleans, the Confederates shipped gold and other valuables from New Orleans to the Gulf of Mexico port of Apalachicola. Sergeant Roland Johnson was charged with moving the gold up the Apalachicola River to Columbus, Georgia for safety.
After the ambush by the Union soldiers, Sergeant Johnson and the gold disappeared. Years after the Civil War Colonel Cassius Fairfield returned to the area determined to find the gold. All he managed was to dig up a few coins. He later went insane.
Tammy, Clark’s fiancé drops by. She has concerns, the rumors of lost people never returning from the Dead Lakes, and don’t forget the tales of some beast called the Amaruga. Clark is too serious and practical to believe such things. Bill is somewhat skeptical and laughs about her worries.
She informs them that despite Clark’s disapproval, she too is going on the expedition. She is upset that Ollie is not going to guide them as Clark is not well adapted for the wilds.
EXT. OLLIE’S HOUSE – DAY
Ollie and his wife Clare play catch with his five-year-old daughter, Presley. Tammy comes by and pleads with him to guide their trek. Tammy mentions her concerns about missing people and the Amaruga. Ollie says he has seen and heard some strange things by the Dead Lakes, but there is no monster.
He agrees to guide them as long as he is back home to celebrate Presley’s birthday in a few days.
EXT. APALACHICOLA RIVER FRONT – DAY
Clark’s group Bill, Tammy, Ollie and Emmet Floyd load supplies onto a
medium size riverboat.
Ollie mentions that they could have driven near to the Dead Lakes and hiked in to save time. But Clark wants to follow as near as possible the Confederate’s route. He has a map with clues that indicate the trail of the lost gold.
EXT. THE APALACHICOLA RIVER – DAY
The boat cruses up the wide river. There are marshes and forests along the way.
Ollie questions Clark as to why Emmet is on board. Clark brought Emmet on for any heavy work. Ollie is acquainted with Emmet and doesn’t trust him.
Bill relates how the Confederate ship was heading up river to Columbus, Georgia when it encountered some problem. Sergeant Johnson had to abandon the ship on shore and had it burned to hide it from any Yankees.
Further upriver Clark’s boat hits a deadhead that punctures a sizeable hole. The boat takes on water. Ironically, they are close to where they want to land, the spot where the Confederate ship was burned.
The boat is beached. Partially buried in the muddy river bank are pieces of wood and metal, remnants of the Confederate ship.
As they unload their boat Clark gets caught in quicksand. The others quickly extract him. Ollie warns them that there are more dangerous patches of quicksand ahead.
EXT. THE FOREST – DAY
A sense of excitement and adventure dominate the group as they hike through thick brush.
Clark tells the others how his grandfather had also hunted for the treasure. But his determination only got him branded as the town’s eccentric. He left Clark a gold coins and a small gold ingot and some clues as to where the lost gold could be.
EXT. FOREST CLEARING – DAY
The group enters an open area. A middle age woman is tending a small vegetable garden. She is dressed in a long cotton dress and long apron. She has an odd manner about her.
Clarks enquires if she knows where the old 1800’s road is. She realizes they are searching for the lost gold. She points in a certain direction. Ollie and Tammy feel there is something odd about this woman.
The group heads in the given direction. The woman stares at the sky as if communicating with someone or something.
EXT. WOODS BY THE DEAD LAKES – DAY
Sergeant Roland Johnson dressed in his Confederate uniform, stands by three Cypress trees. He looks to the sky and receives a message. He brushes back Cypress branches and enters an opening.
EXT. FOREST – DAY
Ollie doesn’t think this is the right direction. Suddenly their compasses go wonky, spinning wildly. Ollie and Clark argue about which way to go. Tammy backs Ollie and they head the way he suggests. They come upon:
EXT. FORMER 1800’S ROAD -DAY
This old road is overgrown, abandoned a 130 years ago. There are markings that indicate this was the road. It is also the spot where the 1863 ambush took place.
Using a metal detector and shovels they uncover bullet casings, a Confederate belt buckle, a rusted hand gun, and part of a horse harness.
And Bill finds two 1850s gold coins. Excitement all around.
EXT. FOREST – DAY
As they continue, Bill is pestered by insects, the others are not. A little later a cotton mouth snake tries to strike Bill. Then a few snakes slither after him and cross his path.
EXT. FOREST CLEARING – DAY
Grant Fairfield and his men hike into the clearing and meet the forest woman. She recognizes their Northern accents. They ask if another group has come through here. She says yes and points Grant in the opposite direction. They continue on. The woman walks to her cabin.
INT. CABIN – DAY
As the forest woman enters the cabin she transforms from middle age into an ancient hag. She gets an old wooden container and takes out tiny shavings of gold. She mixes some with water and drinks it.
EXT. FOREST – DAY
Clark finds a symbol etched into a tree; according to his map this is a mark left by the Confederates. They are on the right trail.
They hear the rustle of vegetation and twigs snapping behind them in the distance. Ollie is concerned and doubles back.
The rest of the group stops to rest and eat. Insects continue to pester Bill, and a copperhead tries to bite him. They have difficulty starting a fire. Emmet eventually gets it going.
Ollie returns, but not alone. Grant Fairfield’s party is with him. Clark is surprised and annoyed. Why are they here, how did they find them? Grant thanks Emmet for informing him about Clark’s venture.
An argument between the two groups ensues. Grant and Max pull guns on Clark’s people and tie them up. They take Ollie’s rifle and Max steals Clark’s map. Fred Dickson pockets Bill’s two gold coins. The Northern interlopers continue on their search.
EXT. FOREST – NIGHT
It is dark by the time Clark and his team are free of the ropes. Clark is alarmed and anxious that his map is gone. Tammy is angry. Bill and Ollie verbally attack Emmet for betraying them.
They decide to camp in place. The bugs and snakes no longer are attracted to Bill. However, their sleep is interrupted by disturbing noises in the distance.
EXT. FOREST – DAY
The next morning Clark has calmed down. They decide to continue on with the exploration.
They follow a path that was taken by Grant’s group. Eventually they come upon an area of broken and flattened vegetation. And then they see it; the mangled body of Victor Lennox. All are disturbed and shaken. Clark is the most upset. Emmet goes and sits off alone. Tammy mentions the monster. Ollie says a wild boar most likely attacked Victor. Then Bill discovers strange huge three-toed foot prints. It is no wild boar.
Tammy decides to go ahead and try to retrieve the map. The others tell her no. Emmet says he’ll go with her. They forbid that. Tammy goes on her own.
EXT. FOREST NEAR THE DEAD LAKES – DAY
Tammy reaches Grant’s group. She hides in the brush and observes them from a distance. Something rustles. A copperhead slithers by her. She contains a scream.
She sees the men have difficulty starting a fire. Max and Grant are studying the map. She hears one of the men scream. It’s Fred Dickson fighting off a cotton mouth and a copperhead. The two gold coins are attracting a negative force.
Max puts the map down and he and Grant go to check on Fred. Tammy takes this opportunity to sneak in and grab the map. But suddenly the wind picks up and they are hit with a mini twister. Horrendous animal sounds are heard. In a panic Fred runs directly by Tammy and knocks her off her feet. She looks up to see Fred dart through the trees toward a pair of glowing green orbs. A moment later he lets out a dreadful scream.
Grant and Max are lying on the ground. Body parts of Fred are flung at them. Tammy gets up, map in hand, and scrambles away. After a few moments she hears something crashing through the forest behind her. She runs faster, but trips and falls. A hand grabs her. It’s Max. He hauls her up and drags her back to Grant.
EXT. FOREST – DAY
Clark, Ollie, Bill and Emmet come across an ancient Indian mound. This is an indicator that they are heading toward the gold.
EXT. FOREST NEAR THE DEAD LAKES – DAY
Then they stumble onto the site of the mini twister. Some of Grant’s possessions are trashed and scattered about. Ollie finds his stolen rifle. They see a human arm and a foot. They find a body. Half its face has been torn off. Ollie recognizes it as Fred Dickson.
They are all shocked and alarmed. Bill says that Tammy was correct, there is a monster. He wants to turn back. Clark is the most terrified, but is determined to find the gold. Ollie reminds them that they need to find Tammy. They press on.
EXT. THE DEAD LAKES – NIGHT
A prehistoric landscape. Clusters of ancient Cypress trees and Cypress elbows dot the waters.
Clark’s men set up camp. They again have trouble starting a fire. They hear strange animal-like sounds. Ollie sees two glowing orbs. Several snakes slink through the campsite. The men retreat to their tents.
Late in the night a mini twister hits. The tents are torn from their moorings. The men are knocked about. Bill is thrown through the air into a tree. Clark is trapped tangled in his tent. Ollie is dazed. Emmet crawls.
Then Amaruga reveals itself. It trudges toward Emmet. Ollie gets his rifle and shoots the creature. It keeps coming. Ollie keeps firing. Emmet scrambles out of its reach. Amaruga turns and trudges back into the forest. Bullets did no harm to it.
Clark is left weeping and whimpering. Emmet sits and just stares. Ollie attends to Bill’s injury.
EXT. THE DEAD LAKES – DAY
Ollie cleans up the debris. Bill is limping. Clark is angry and rants about the gold and Tammy. Emmet is gone.
A few snakes head toward the men. Clark freaks out and runs screaming. He needs to find Tammy. He runs right into a nest of snakes surging toward him. He falls and is set upon by snakes. Ollie and Bill are helpless to get to him. Ollie shoots at the snakes.
Suddenly Amaruga is there. A long claw on one of its three fingers impales Clark. It lifts him up and sinks its fangs into him. Ollie’s shooting is to no avail. Amaruga turns and heads toward a lake.
EXT. THE DEAD LAKES – DAY
Grant and Max, with Tammy in tow, hike along the edge of a swamp by the lake as they follow the map. A strange sound attracts them. Several yards offshore the water bubbles, they glimpse something large move under water. Then spot two glowing blue orbs just beneath the surface. They start to run but Max and Tammy get stuck in thick mud. It’s quicksand. Grant helps Max, out. They reach for Tammy, but the water bubbles up ferociously. The men run off leaving Tammy to her fate.
EXT. THE DEAD LAKES – DAY
Ollie and Bill find an old wooden rowboat on shore. They row it out into the lake. They drift pass spooky looking Cypress trees and small islands.
LATER:
Then they spot Grant and Max on shore talking. Max remains in place as Grant walks toward a cluster of three Cypress trees.
Ollie rows the boat ashore, out of sight from the other two men. Bill remains by the rowboat and Ollie heads toward the three Cypress trees. Bill notices something huge moving under water toward the three Cypress trees.
EXT. THE THREE CYPRESS TREES – DAY
Behind the three Cypress trees, Ollie discovers a hollow that leads underground. He enters.
INT. CAVE – DAY
Ollie follows a passage that just may lead to the gold. Suddenly, he is attacked by Grant. They fight. Ollie is knocked unconscious.
Grant heads along a second passage and finds a few gold coins and gold ingots scattered on the ground. He is delighted. Amaruga erupts out of the ground. Terrified, Grant races along the tunnel pursued by the creature.
EXT. THE THREE CYPRESS TREES – DAY
Grant exits the cave and runs. Amaruga explodes out of the cave and creates a mini twister.
Max witnesses the twister tear the skin from Grant. Amaruga then pounces him and rips him apart with its claws. Petrified, Max takes off into the woods. Bill cowers in the bottom of the rowboat.
Ollie stumbles from the cave to see the Amaruga devour Grant. He looks to rowboat. Bill waves, signaling him to run. Ollie dashes into the woods.
Ollie goes only a few yards when a gunshot rings out. He ducks. Max steps from behind a tree. He mocks Ollie and takes aim. Amaruga shoots a long sharp claw that impales Max. It lifts him and dives into the lake drowning Max.
EXT. THE DEAD LAKES – DAY
Ollie sloshes waist deep through a Cypress swamp. He reaches solid ground terrified and exhausted. He rests. Then he hears something tramping toward him through the woods. He takes cover. To his surprise, it’s Tammy and Emmet.
They inform Ollie how Emmet came across Tammy and extracted her from the quicksand. He tells them about the cave and escaping from Amaruga. That’s when several snakes slither by and the strange animal sound is heard. Amaruga is coming for them. The three scurry away. They hear the heavy thudding footsteps of the trudging creature behind them.
Ollie has lost his rifle to repel the monster. But Tammy has figured out that it must be fearful of fire as fires go out when it’s nearby. They quickly build a fire.
Ollie heads back toward the approaching Amaruga. It gets close and Ollie runs toward the fire that has spread to the brush. Ollie clears the fire. But Amaruga creates its mini twister. The fire explodes and sets Emmet ablaze. Its claw pierces Emmet. Again, the fire erupts and scorches Amaruga.
A wall of flames obscures Ollie and Tammy’s view of Amaruga, but they hear its screeches of pain. They turn and run.
INT. OLLIE’S HOME – DAY
Ollie and Tammy relate their adventure to Ollie’s wife, Clare. They are concerned that Bill is still out there. Ollie puts a couple of gold coins and a gold ingot on the table, proof that there is a treasure of lost Confederate gold. But will they risk another attempt to retrieve it?
INT. FOREST WOMAN’S CABIN – DAY
Sergeant Roland Johnson sits with the ancient looking woman. He refers to her as his wife and thanks her for supplying the men. He opens a sack and spills gold ingots onto the table. With a knife he peels off several thin slivers of gold. The woman sprinkles them on some food and takes a bite. She transforms back to middle age. Sergeant Johnson assures her that the Amaruga has been fed.
The End
TAGGED OUTLINE
ACT 1 — SET UP FOR HORROR
Atmosphere of Evil established:
1862: The aftermath of the Union ambush of the Confederates: wounded Confederate
Sergeant Johnson struggles to haul wagon filled with gold away from battle scene.
Horror Situation: Sergeant Johnson sees creature snatch and devour soldier.
Reaction: terrified, he struggles to haul gold into the forest.
Demand: Intrigue: After the ambush attack, Confederate Sergeant Johnson glimpses a horrendous creature eating a corpse.
Monster Reveal: What is this creature?
Connect with the characters: Clark and Bill try
to convince friend and outdoorsman Ollie to lead them on their trek into
the wilderness in search of the lost gold. Ollie is not interested.
The characters are warned not to do it. Tammy, Clark’s
girlfriend, is concerned for their safety. due to legends of missing
people and an evil presence at the Dead Lakes.Horror Situation: Tammy mentions legends of missing people and an evil presence at the Dead Lakes.
Reaction: the men don’t believe, just laugh.
Denial of Horror: Clark & Bill
laugh at the legends. Tammy convinces Ollie to join the expedition.Demand: Tammy warns Clark about rumors of a strange creature and missing people.
Monster Reveal: Intrigue, concern, is there any truth to the rumors?
Safety taken away:
After boating up river, the group enters the forest to follow clues to the lost gold.
Horror Situation: one of the men gets stuck in quicksand
Reaction: the others quickly pull him out. Ollie warns that there more dangerous pockets of quicksand ahead.
Monster: The nature of the
beast. They encounter a strange middle age woman living in the
forest. When they talk to her about the gold, she misdirects them.Demand: A strange but seemingly friendly forest woman gives them directions.
Monster Reveal: Ollie and Tammy sense there is something ‘off’ about this woman.
Horror Situation: The men’s compass spins wildly.
Reaction: Confused, Ollie and Clark argue as to the right direction they should go, Clark prevails.
Demand: The forest woman stares at the sky.
Monster Reveal: Sergeant Johnson stares at the sky, nods as if receiving a message. He enters a cave where there are huge three-toed footprints in the dirt. He speaks and an unnatural animal voice responds.
Demand: At the site of the 1864 ambush, Bill finds 2 gold coins.
Monster Reveal: Bill pockets the coins. Snakes and insects are attracted to him.
Horror Situation: A vine wraps around Emmet, attempts to strangle him.
Reaction: Men save him, but realize something is not right.
Demand: Grant Fairfield’s group has followed Clark’s. Grant’s group meets the forest woman; she gives the same directions.
Monster Reveal: When she enters her cabin, she transforms from middle age to an ancient hag.
Horror Situation: The woman enters her shack and immediately transforms into her true self – an ancient hag.
Reaction: Audience shock. Audience realizes she is evil and directed the men into danger.
Demand: Clark’s group has trouble building a campfire, it keeps getting extinguished.
Monster Reveal: There is something unnatural in the air.
Grant’s group meets up with Clark’s. There is a confrontation. Grant has Clark’s group tied up. Max Sedgwick steals Clark’s map. Grant’s group treks forward.
Horror Situation: without the map they are more lost and unsure where to go.
Reaction: They have to follow Grant’s group.
1st Act turning point: One of us killed:
Horror Situation: Clark’s group comes across the mutilated body of Victor Lennox, a member of Grant’s party.
Reaction: They are terrified and confused. Debate about continuing on.
CHARACTER DEATH 1 VICTOR LENNOX
WHY: the member of Grant’s group who stole the map from Clark.
HOW: Clarks’ group come across Victor’s remains. They have no idea what did this.
Demand: Clark’s group discovers the mangled body of Victor Lennox (of Grant’s group).
Monster Reveal: There are huge three-toed footprints by the body.
Horror Situation: Clark’s group comes across the mutilated body of Victor Lennox, a member of Grant’s party.
Reaction: They are terrified and confused. Debate about continuing on.
ACT 2 — THE POINT OF NO RETURN
Isolated / Trapped / Abducted: Nature turns
against the men.Horror Situation: Strange animalistic sounds follow the men. A wild boar charges them.
Reaction: They scatter. Ollie shoots at it, misses.
Tammy sneaks off alone to retrieve the map.
Demand: Tammy observes Grant’s group having trouble starting a camp fire. Fred Dickson who stole the 2 gold coins from Bill is now pestered by snakes and insects.
Monster Reveal: The coins are attracting a negative force.
Horror Situation: The wind picks up and the twister levels the camp.
Reaction: Fred Dickson flees into the forest. Horror sounds. Fred’s body part
are flung into the camp.
CHARACTER DEATH 2: FRED DICKSON
WHY: terrorized by the strange twister that leveled Grant’s camp, Fred makes bad decision to
run into forest.
HOW: his screams are heard, then his body parts are flung at Grant’s men.
Demand: A mini twister hits Grant’s camp. Horrendous animal sounds are heard. Fred Dickson is terrified. He runs screaming into the forest.
Monster Reveal: A pair of glowing green orbs move towards Fred. Body parts are flung into the camp.
Horror Situation: Tammy grabs the map and flees. The pounding of feet follows her.
Reaction: She falls and is grabbed by Max Sedgwick.
Demand: Clark’s group finds Grant’s camp destroyed. Body parts litter the area.
Monster Reveal: Only a monster could do this. It’s unnatural.
Horror Situation: Clark’s group camps at night. The smell of rotting meat is carried on the wind. They see two green orbs glowing through the trees.
Reaction: Uncertainty. Some of the men vomit.
Midpoint: Monster is worse than we thought
Horror Situation: Clark’s camp fire mysteriously goes out. The wind picks up, becomes a mini-twister and tears the campsite apart.
Reaction: The men are frightened. Bill is injured. Clark is totally terrified and weeps.
Demand: Clark is thrown through the air and against a tree.
Monster Reveal: The Amaruga reveals itself. Ollie shoots it several times, it retreats unharmed.
ACT 3 — FULL OUT HORROR
Clark rushes ahead hoping to find Tammy.
Horror Situation: A nest of poisonous snakes surge through the forest. Clark is bitten, he falls and is covered in snakes.
Reaction: Ollie and Bill see Clark being devoured by the Amaruga. Emmet runs away.
CHARACTER DEATH 3 Clark Grady
WHY: ashamed of his earlier fear, he wants to prove himself by finding Tammy.
The monster is revealed to his team.
HOW: It impales him with a long claw and begins to eat him.
Demand: The Amaruga reveals itself.
Monster Reveal: The Amaruga reveals itself. Ollie shoots it several times, it retreats unharmed. Bullets won’t kill it.
Demand: Grant, Max and Tammy hike along edge of lake.
Monster Reveal: The water bubbles, Amaruga surfaces a distance from shore. They run. Tammy gets stuck in quicksand; the men leave her behind.
APPARENT DEATH:
Tammy MarshallWHY:
She is captured
by Grant’s group.HOW: In an attempt to save themselves Grant and Max leave
her to die in quicksand.Demand: Grant and Max rush toward a cave where they believe the gold is hidden.
Monster Reveal: They hear the thud of the monster’s footsteps pursuing them.
Fight to the death: Ollie and Grant fight while being pursued by the Amauga.
Demand: Ollie follows a passage in the cave that may lead to the gold. He is attacked by Grant and knocked unconscious.
Monster Reveal: Amaruga appears and goes after Grant.
Hysteria:
Grant exits the cave and is pursued by Amaruga.
Monster Reveal: Amaruga creates a mini twister that tears Grant’s skin off. It then rips him to shreds. Max witnesses this and flees.
CHARACTER DEATH 4 Grant Fairfield
WHY: arrogant and demanding, he believes he is entitled to the gold.
HOW: he has found the hidden gold, but Amaruga has found him. It creates a twister that tears
the skin from Grant and rips at him with its claws.
Death returns to take one or more.
Demand: Ollie sneaks out of cave and runs. Ollie encounters Max who shoots at him.
Monster Reveal: Amaruga spears Max with its claw and dives into lake drowning Max.
CHARACTER DEATH 5 Max Sedgwick
WHY: he attempts to shoot Ollie. The gunshot attracts Amaruga.
HOW: Amaruga impales Max with its claw and dives into the swamp to drown Max.
The thrilling escape from death:
The Amaruga now stalks Ollie as he struggles through the Dead Lakes.
Demand: Ollie comes across Tammy; she survived the quicksand.
Monster Reveal: They have a long pursuit by Amaruga.
demand: tammy realizes that fire can harm or kill Amaruga.
Monster Reveal: Just as Amaruga gets close they attack it with fire. It burns and runs off.
Resolution:
Ollie, Tammy and Bill are back safely in town. They have some gold pieces, proof there is a
gold treasure. Will they risk another venture to retrieve the gold?
Survivors live…but somehow, the monster is still alive for the sequel.
Demand: Sergeant Johnson shaves slivers of gold and sprinkles them on his food.
Monster Reveal: He also sets out larger pieces for Amaruga. He tells Amaruga this will restore its health.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 10 months ago by Patrick Malone.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 10 months ago by
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Robert R. Smith’s Horror Outline Version: 1
What I learned is…? How to cobble together the building blocks of a script. In fact, I have larned that I have a script emerging. Thank you, including for your patience..
Title: THE TOREPH
ACT 1 — SET UP FOR HORROR
Atmosphere
of Evil establishedWhile on an unrelated archaeological expedition, Dr. Colin Kendrick, head of the Archaeology Dept at Buckridge University in the USA, is approached by two Arab goat-herding brothers, Hassan and Hussein, who, while searching for a lost goat, had discovered, in the sand, a gold nameplate with an engraving in an ancient language they cannot read.
Reaction: Kendrick invites Hassan and Hussein to his tent where he carefully examines the engraved ancient gold nameplate engraved.
Monster reveal: Kendrick reveals that the engraving on the gold plate is the demonic name Azazel – a desert demon of Jewish (Biblical) and Arabic lore.
Reaction: Between the name of the place they found it (Tel Esh-Shaytaneen; “Home of the Two Devils”) Hussein reacts with fear of the demonic nature of the gold plate.
T
Denial: Kendrick disregards Hussein’s fear. Says that this will lead to a major discovery and asks Hassan and Hussein to take him to the exact place at Tel Esh-Shaytaneen where they found the gold Azazel nameplate.
Reaction: Hassan and Hussein agree but Hussein is still gripped by fear that the devil will attack.
Horror situation: Immediately after agreeing to go to the Hill of the Two Devilsl, Kendricd’s tent collapses on them.
Reaction: Hussein is petrified and comforts himself with Muslim prayers and verses from the Quran.
Reaction: They all discover that it was the cute little goat who gnawed through the support rope of the tent who is the “devil” who brought town the tent.
Scene Two:
Monster Reveal: Hussein warns that he feels an evil presence surrounding them and he warns .Hassan and Kendrick to leave the place.
Denial: Hassan and Kendrick ignore him.
Reaction: Looking up the hill, Kendrick spots a cave and he climbs up to examine it
Reaction: Hassan follows Kendrick but Hussein begs them to come down.
Horror Situation: Kendrick arrives at the cave and finds it sealed up with stones from the last expedition to explore it – the French expedition in 2006. They even left a warning sign in French, English, Arabic and Hebrew: “BEWARE: CAVE IN DANGER OF COLLAPSE. Already excavated – nothing within.” Signed by Dr. Clement Leroux, Director, French Institute of Near Eastern Archaeology. When Kendrick removes one brick from the cave entrance, a streak of lightning from the aperture kills Hussein. Hassan, fearing more evil to come, begs Kendrick to do nothing further.
Denial: Kendrick says, “If I could redirect our excavation to here, I would.” But Kendrick vows he will return with an expedition from Buckridge U. the following year to open the cave which he believes is a tomb with Neolithic skulls similar to what Kenyon discovered in the 1950’s a short distance away – a major archaeological discovery.
ACT 1 — SET UP FOR HORROR
Establishing shot:
EXT. ARCHAEOLOGICAL ‘DIG’ WEST BANK DESERT NEAR JERICHO –DAY
SUPER:
ARCHAEOLOGICAL DIG
TEL ES-SULTAN – ANCIENT JERICHO
Two Arab goat-herders, HASSAN and his brother HUSSEIN enter into the lower part of the frame. A small goat is with them on a rope. We follow them as they walk through the team of diggers and leaders of the expedition to DR. COLIN KENDRICK the director of the expedition, a professor of Near Eastern Archaeology at Buckridge University. He stands in front of his tent with NED GARNER, one of his students who uses a large sifter of sand and dirt, a tool used to find artefacts.
As they approach. Hassan calls to get the attention of Dr. Kendrick.
HASSAN
Ya, Doktour Colin. Doktour Colin. You remember
me?
KENDRICK
Of course, Hassan. Ahlan wa sahlan, Ya Hassan wa Hussein.
Iz-zay-ah-koom?
Hassan and Hussein shake hands with Kendrick.
KENDRICK
(looking toward the goat)
Wa min hu-wah?
HASSAN
This is one of our goats. He was lost, but we find him at Tel Esh-Shayh-tah-neen.
KENDRICK
The Hill of the Two Devils.
Hassan takes out a small gold nameplate and shows it to Kendrick
HASSAN
Yes, and this goat scratched the sand and find
this anteekah.
We see the nameplate. On it is paleo-Hebrew writing. The nameplate is a little larger than a safety razor blade.
KENDRICK
Let’s go into my tent.
HUSSEIN
First, I tie goat.
Hussein tethers the goat to a support rope for the ten. Then Hassan, Hussein, and Kendrick enter the tent.
INT. KENDRICK’S TENT – DAY
There is a table filled with books and papers. Kendrick, Hassan, and Hussein sets three folding chairs for all of them on which to sit, which he invites them to do.
KENDRICK
It-fad-lak-oom! Please have a seat.
HASSAN / HUSSEIN
Shoo-kran!
Hassan and Hussein seat themselves.
KENDRICK
Ayz te-shrab wala tah-kul hadjah?
SUBTITLE: Do you want anything to eat or drink?
HASSAN / HUSSEIN
La, shroo-kran.
SUBTITLE No, thank you.
‘
Kendrick sits and takes a magnifying glass from the table and examines the gold nameplate.
We see a closer view of the name on the nameplate/
HUSSEIN
What does the writing mean?
KENDRICK
It is written in ancient Hebrew letters. It is the name.
“Azazel.”
HUSSEIN
Ah! Azazeel? Ish-Shaytan. Ouzou b’llahi min Esh-Shaytan
Er-rahdjeem. Destroy that thing and the name.
SUBTITLE: Azazel. Satan. I take refuge in God from the wicked Satan.
HASSAN
Doktour, what do you think of that anteekah?
KENDRICK
I think you have found something that could lead to a major
discovery at Tel Ish-Shaytan. In fact, I would like you to take
me to the exact place where you found it. Would you?
HASSAN
Taab. Yella bina. Ayz ti-djee, ya-Hsein?
SUBTITLE: Of course. Let’s go. Do you want to come, Hussein?
HUSSEIN
Only evil can come from the Hill of the Two devils
and from that gold with the name of a devil.. But if
my brother needs me, I would give my life.
Suddenly, the Tent collapses around them, knocking over book shelves and scattering papers.
Hussein screams.
EXT. THE COLLAPSED TENT.
Hassan, Hussein, and Kendrick come out from underneath the fallen tent.
HUSSEIN
You see, Doctor Colin. Only evil can come out of
Tel Esh-Shaytaneen.
We see the small goat and the tent support rope that has been gnawed through by the goat.
HASSAN
This mischief is not the devil’s doing, Hussein. Unless your goat
is a devil.
Kendrick and Hassan laugh. Hussein takes the goat by the rope.
HASSAN
Dr. Colin, you want me to take you to Tel
Esh-Shaytaneen?
KENDRICK
(brandishing the gold Azazel nameplate)
The exact spot where you found this.
HUSSEIN
You go ahead, I will first take the goat home and see
You later.
Kendrick pockets the gold nameplate. Hussein leaves with the goat in one direction (L-R)
Kendrick and Hassan leave, walking R-L.
EXT. TEL ESH-SHAYTANEEN. A MOUND IN THE DESERT – DAY
Atmosphere
of Evil establishedAt Tel Esh-Shaytaneen, Kendrick notices that just above them on the slope is a cave entrance that was sealed up by the last expedition that explored it – the French expedition led by Clement Leroux, President of the French Institute for Near Eastern Archaeology, left a warning sign in French, English, Arabic and Hebrew: “WARNING! CAVE IN DANGER OF COLLAPSE! Already excavated – nothing within.”
Horror Situation: When Kendrick removes one stone from the cave entrance, a streak of lightning through the aperture kills Hussein.
Reaction: Hassan is filled with dread. Fearing more evil to come, he begs Kendrick to do nothing further.
Denial: Kendrick relents and answers yes to Hassan’s request. However, he also vows to return next season with an expedition from Buckridge U. the following year to open the cave which he believes is a tomb with Neolithic skulls similar to what Kenyon discovered in the 1950’s a short distance away – a major archaeological discovery.
Connect
with the charactersLikeability: We have connected with Dr Colin Kendrick already, whose manner is professorial and professional but approachable.
We are now at the Student Union of Buckridge University where we are introduced to three aspiring archaeologists: Ned Garner, Bob Barton, and Kaitlyn Randolph. Ned and Bob are playing chess and Kaitlyn joins them and watches.
Ned is a chess enthusiast that Bob says that on the Chess board, Nice-guy Ned reveals his killer instinct as he defeats Bob with a Royal Fork move. Ned is still shy about joining Kendrick’s dig but Kaitlyn (Ned’s love interest) coaxes him, as she is going on the dig itself. That clinches it. He is an aspiring archaeologist. He has to go. Moreover, Kaitlyn is going. How can he not go?
The
characters are warned not to explore at Tel Esh-Shayateen.The Phone Call: Kendrick wants to learn what happened to the French expedition that they
sealed the cave at Tel Esh-Shayateen and left a warning sign at the cave not to enter. So he calls that expedition’s leader, Dr Clement Leroux in Paris to ask him to recount his expediiton’s experience. When Kendrick tells him that he wants to excavate the cave/tomb on Tel Esh-Shaytaneen,
Reaction: Leroux fears for Kendrick and his party if he does so. Leroux attempts to talk
Kendrick out of it for his own good and that of his expedition.
Horror Situation: To explain how concerned he is, Leroux recounts the horror situation
of the French Expedition in 2006. Leroux describes how two of his party died, or maybe
they were murdered and he threw away the gold Azazel nameplate which he now wishes
he had destroyed so that it would never be seen again, instead Hassan and Hussein
discovered it in the sand where he threw it landed when Leroux threw it away so many
years ago.. Leroux claims, the nameplate is a transmitter of evil. And he tells Kendrick
to destroy it.
Denial: Leroux’s words fall on Kendrick’s deaf ears. Kendrick believes he is about to make a major discovery like Kenyon’s in the fifties.
Reaction: Leroux tells him he is like Ahab and that cave/tomb is his White Whale. Ahab got his White Whale but at his own mortal expense and that of his ship and his crew.
Reaction: Ned Garner is in Kendricks office and although he only hears Kendrick’s side of the story, he is concerned that all students who signed up for the expedition should be informed about all details of the phone conversation and the story of Kendrick’s own experience . Kendrick even shows Ned the Azazel gold nameplate, which when it’s on the table, ominously vibrates like a cell phone – a warning that there is a malevolent supernatural presence connected with the Azazel nameplate and the cave on Hill of the Two Devils. Kendrick wants to share these details only with Ned, but Ned wants to tell the others as they should be told.
Denial
of HorrorAccordingly, Kendrick calls a meeting of the team (Ned, Bob, and Kaitlyn and tells them also the whole story of Tel Esh-Shaytaneen.
Reaction: Bob, the comic relief of the show betrays some superstitious proclivities, and admits his fear.
Reaction: But in the end science prevails especially after Kendrick tells them that the site is not far from ancient Jericho where Kenyon in the 50’s discovered cultic skulls from the Neolithic era which assures Kendrick that they will make a similar discovery, perhaps of Teraphim (skulls used as household gods for necromancy and divination in Biblical times and quotes the Bible as evidence and other traditions in support.
Horror Situation (in the past): Kendrick shows the students the Azazel nameplate and explains, it was used by sorcerers who would insert the plate into the mouths of the skulls so that they could speak to the necromancer. And that confirmation of this practice would be a major finding anthropologically regarding the practice of magic in the ancient world. Bottom line: All the team wants to proceed with the expedition in a scientific manner which they believe will yield a major discovery in Near Eastern Archaeology. Very Bottom line: The horror is denied.
SIX MONTHS LATER
TEL ESH-SHAYTANEEN
THE DIG
Safety
taken awayIn the cave at Tel Esh-Shaytaneen the team is joined by Hassan. When the stones left by the French expedition are removed and they enter the cave tomb, they discover a clay Egyptian style anthropoid sarcophagus marked King Cushan. They realize they have found the tomb of the Biblical villain, Cushan Rishathaim, Cushan the Doubly-Evil, of Judges 8. His mummy is headless and a sword is beside him in the sarcophagus. In another chamber they find a mummified head, a Toreph (singular of Terraphim) – obviously the skull of Cushan the Doubly-Evil. Kendrick inserts the Azazel nameplate into the skull’s mouth. At that instant an invisible barrier descends over the entrance to the cave. They are trapped inside with the Toreph that now begins to speak. .
Monster Reveal: The Toreph (Azazel) speaks and knows each person by name and his agenda is to wreak torment and evil on all of them whom he has trapped in the cave/tomb.all the world.
Horror Situation: Then the Toreph (Azazel speaking through the skull) produces a supposed apparition of Hassan’s dead brother Hussein begging him too join him in the afterlife, where he needs him.
Reaction: Hassan asks whether or not he is in Jannah (garden of paradise, in Islam) or hell. The Toreph says, “Not from the Garden of Paradise, but from Hell.” Hassan grab’s Bob Barton’s gun to commit suicide and join his brother.
Reaction: Ned pleads with Hassan not to kill himself, “It’s not your brother who is speaking to you. Your brother would not want you to kill yourself. This apparition is a demon conjured by Azazel who is a leader of demons.”
Reaction: Hassan says, “My brother needs me. I give my life for my brother. He would do the dame for me.” Hassan shoots himself in the head.” We actually see his apparition follow his brother until they disappear. Then we hear the echoing voice of the spirit of Hassan scream from somewhere beyond.
MIDPOINT: The monster is worse than we thought!
Full
pursuit by the killer AND terrorizedReaction: Bob grabs his gun from Hassan’s lifeless hand and fires, but the bullet ricochets off an te invisible barrier that protects the Toreph. The ricocheting bullet is controlled by the Toreph (Azazel) and is in a trajectory toward Kendrick and mortally wounds him. Kendrick.
Toreph: I am Azazel, I taught humanity the use of weapons. Of course I would protect myself from weapons first. Serves you right that the evil you intended for me would come to you.
Reaction: Before Kendrick dies, he tells Ned, weapons are useless.
Reaction: Kaitlyn suggests that “If iinserting the Azazel nameplate into the skull’s mouth made Azazel possess the skull, then extracting it might exorcize Azazel. The invisible shield protects the Toreph only from weapons but you have none.” Kendrick praises Kaitlyn and agrees with her. His last gesture before he dies is to apologize to all for putting them in this dangerous position. .
ACT 3 — FULL OUT HORROR
Fight to the death
Reaction: It proves to be true, that if you approach the Toreph with no weapon, you can pass through the invisible barrier.
Reaction: Ned passes unobstructed through the protective invisible barrier around the Toreph,
Toreph (Azazel) [to Ned]: Trying to play Chess with me? This is no Chess
game.
Ned: We’ll see about that.
Ned grabs the Toreph and pulls the Azazel nameplate out of his mouth. Azazel no longer possesses the skull, all the invisible barriers he erected are eliminated. Azazel no longer possesses the skull. Not seen by Bob and Kaitlyn is that Ned pockets the Azazel nameplate. Ned, Bob, and Kaitlyn return the skull to the clay sarcophagus with the headless mummy of Cushan.
Hysteria
Monster Reveal: As they walk away from the sarcophagus, the mummy of Cushan explodes out of the sarcophagus assailing them with his sword. The mummy of Cushan is possessed by Azazel, who speaks: “Now, I have found his entire body in which to dwell.”
The
thrilling escape from deathReaction: With the invisible barriers gone, Ned, Bob, and Kaitlyn escape. Ned and Kaitlyn exit the cave/tomb. Ned directs Bob and Kaitlyn to join him as they climb up above the rocky surface around the cave entrance and push a bolder down on the mummy of Cushan, crushing him.
Ned: You see, it is a chess game. Royal Fork on you Azazel.
Bob and Kaitlyn climb down from above the cave entrance leaving Ned on top.
Death returns to take one or more.
Azazel through Cushan’s mummy says to Ned: “Fork you!” As Azazel/Cushan point to Ned, a seismic event happens, the cave/tomb collapses, taking Ned with it. Supposedly, it kills him. Azazel/Cushan crushed as he is beneath a bolder, dies.
Resolution
Kaitlyn mourns Ned, comforted by Bob. When Ned suddenly pulls himself out of the rubble.
Horror Situation: Ned is resurrected by and now possessed by Azazel.
Reaction: Bob and Kaitlyn sense Azazel has possessed Bob when he proudly wields the Azazel nameplate.
Reaction:
Kaitlyn: Why did you save that?
Bob: Yeah, that’s what started everything.
Ned: It is the only artefact from this location that survives. It is the key to
many mysteries.
This is the final horror: That Azazel will still operate from and through a friend and lover, possessed by the demon.
It also sets up a sequel.
3. Answer the question “What I learned doing this assignment is…?” and put it at the top of your work.
4. Post your assignment in the forums at https://www.screenwritingclasses.com/forums/
Subject line: (Your Name’s) Character Journey Track (place in first line)
Deadline: 3 Days
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This reply was modified 3 years, 10 months ago by Robert Smith.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 10 months ago by
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Pamela’s Horror Outline Version 1
What I learned is…?
Transforming the pieces into a story that flows was eye opening. It shows where the idea can start to take shape and become a living, breathing work where tension and mood can be created.
<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>ACT 1 – SET UP FOR HORROR
<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>EXT – BAYOU CHENE SWAMP / CHURCH — NIGHT
As Sybil flees through the back swamps of the Bayou Chene, branches rustle and fierce winds surround her. In a bid to escape and find shelter, she heads towards a desolate church building. Something tugs at her jacket knocking her to the ground. Muddy and drenched, her feet squishing through the soft earth, she makes it to the church and slams the door behind her, locking the iron bolt firmly.
Sybil approached the church alter and realized with horror at the alter was herbs, amulets, and dolls in the same configuration of the brand that her ex-fiancé had on his right arm. The same ex-fiancé who tried to kill her. She has a flash back montage in her mind of the relationship from its start to its terrifying moment he started to change his personality.
Sybil’s pursuer pushes at the door, the rattling startling her. Just as she thinks she is safe inside the walls of a sacred space, her pursuer breeches the church confines, his large hand coming through the wooden door. His entire being comes through along with three other beings and Sybil is in shock and extreme fear. All of the pursuers surround Sybil, they begin to grab at her arms and legs, Sybil screaming in hysteria.
Just as the pursuers with no eyes begin pulling at her with their extreme large hands, arms joints bulging, Sybil screaming in pain, a loud screech comes from the back of the church. The church priest is standing at the back of the church and starts speaking an incantation, swinging his rosary towards them. The pursuers are defeated but the priest lost his soul, his eyes disappearing.
EXT – CATAHOULA PARISH / JEAN LAFFITE ELEMENTARY LOADING DOCK — DAY
10 Years Later:
Terrance drives into the Jean Laffite Elementary parking lot in his Crescent City Foods van to make his last delivery to the school vending machines. He looks into the rearview mirror, stone faced, and when he gets out of the van, his personality immediately changes to affable and smiles as he unloads his hand cart and waves to the cafeteria staff who opened the back loading dock for him.
INT — LAFFITE ELEMENTARY / SCHOOL BUILDING — DAY
News accounts warn the public of a fast approaching, dangerous approaching storm, Hurricane Imogene. Teachers and staff are finishing the school day. Sybil, French teacher, is looking out at the parking lot of activity. School buses are pulling in for the end of the day to bring students home. She watches as a van pulls into the lot and heads towards the dock around the back of the school.
INT — LAFFITE ELEMENTARY / SCHOOL CLASSROOM — DAY
Carmel Washington is talking to her 5<sup>th</sup> grade students about reading during the hurricane if electricity goes out as a calming technique. Lily Thibodeaux, Miles and Chantel Pally are in the classroom. Clara Knox, school psychologist, lets the class know that if they are anxious about the storm, they can talk to her at any time.
Clara takes Miles and Chantel aside to let them know their parents are driving in from Mississippi so they will have to stay at the school until they arrive. Chantel & Miles believe their parents will come to get them soon, so they are not worried.
INT — LAFFITE ELEMENTARY / SCHOOL HALLWAY — DAY
Principal LaPierre sees Carmel Washington, teacher’s assistant, walking past his office. He makes a bee line to talk to her. He asks if she is staying to help with the evacuation center and she says no. LaPierre implies that he will scratch her back if she scratches his with romantic favors, he will make sure she gets the open teaching position. Carmel loves the students and wants the job but not at those costs.
However, she thinks that staying to man the evacuation center can be useful in her application, so she changes her mind and let LaPierre know she only wants to help the community by deciding to stay. Carmel believes the storm is dangerous but willing to stay in an uncomfortable situation.
INT — LAFFITE ELEMENTARY / SCHOOL OFFICE — DAY
Marie Slope, school secretary, is on the phone gossiping with her mother about possibly staying for the hurricane and that she plans on confronting Principal LaPierre about his inappropriate behavior and blackmailing him for a raise.
INT — LAFFITE ELEMENTARY / FOOTBALL LOCKER ROOM — DAY
Coach Ogilvy is giving the football team a pep talk about being heroes during the hurricane. Helping neighbors and being pillars of the community during this time. They huddle for prayer, and he dismisses them and heads toward the teacher’s lounge.
INT — LAFFITE ELEMENTARY / TEACHER’S LOUNGE — DAY
Principal LaPierre is speaking to the teachers and staff in the teachers lounge. He announces that the school is designated as an evacuation center. Coach Ogilvy, Sybil, Clara, Carmel, and Marie agree to stay and man the school. Principal LaPierre has been through hurricanes his whole life, and this is just one more, nothing to worry about but the school is obligated to be available. Coach Ogilvy tells the group the storm is a mountain out of a mole hill.
Many of the teachers are not staying to man the evacuation. In this area, folks are known for taking care of their own and waiting out a storm rather than running from it which is what they deem the evacuation center to be.
Marcus Pitney, math teacher, excuses himself while LaPierre goes over the strategy for manning the evacuation center. His cellphone is vibrating. He goes to the hallway to answer it. He becomes visibly upset while talking to an LSU math department head and starts to berate the department head not awarding him the job he interviewed for.
INT — LAFFITE ELEMENTARY / SCHOOL GYM — DAY
Potter, world weary janitor, is putting up boards on the windows in the gym. It is the last of the windows that needed to be boarded up.
EXT – TRAILER PARK IN CATAHOULA / THIBODEAUX TRAILER — DAY
Jacob and Jill watch the news and roll a joint and determine if getting locked in the school could be an economic windfall for them. They fill backpacks with a few essentials and set out to walk to the school, they don’t own a car, to show up at the school before the doors close to evacuees. Jacob & Jill are not concerned with the hurricane threat. Their single focus is stealing electronics from the new media center and getting out during the worst of the storm.
INT – LAFFITE ELEMENTARY / SCHOOL BUILDING — EVENING
A small group stay at the school for their own various and mysterious reasons, but most are not concerned about the severity of the storm. Terrance fills the last of the vending machines and finds Marie in the school office to sign the invoice. Terrance believes the storm is just a storm. Marcus enters the office in a foul mood. He butts into the conversation. Marcus thinks everyone is overacting to the storm and that an evacuation center is a stupid idea. He plans to go home, and losers can stay behind.
EXT – LAFFITE ELEMENTARY / SCHOOL PARKING LOT – EVENING
Storm clouds are forming. Lightening fills the sky. Branches in the tree start breaking off as if something is pushing through the tree line. Parking lot lights flicker then go dark just as Jacob and Jill make it to the front door of the school.
INT – LAFFITE ELEMENTARY / SCHOOL CAFETRIA – EVENING
LaPierre gets a call on his walkie talkie regarding looters who have attacked two evacuation centers so far. State Police tell him to be on the look out and report any suspicious activity, but he may be on his own.
A handful of people showed up but with the weather becoming increasingly worse, no one has appeared in the past hour.
INT – LAFFITE ELEMENTARY / AROUND THE SCHOOL BUILDING — EVENING
Marcus runs through the pouring onslaught of rain to get to his car at the edge of the lot but as he approaches it, a tree on the perimeter of the lot falls on his car. He heads back to the school.
LaPierre is concerned about looters, so he has the doors chained shut and gives the key to Marie. The windows are nailed with thick boards and industrial nails making an easy escape not possible.
As the storm rages, electricity goes in and out, and several people in the group experience specific and personal reliving of traumas in their past. Clara hears the screams of students at the last school she worked during an active shooting. Marie experiences realistic memories of being bullied as a 5<sup>th</sup> grader at the same school 20 years ago. Potter sees visions of his alcoholic father in a rage. Carmel sees herself as a teenager alone in her room after the high school football captain stood her up for prom. She begins scratching her arm while in the trance.
The being is revealing itself by inducing those affected by its power to experience disorienting thoughts and recurring tragic or frightening memories to disarm them and make them more pliable to its infiltration. The group experiencing the memories start to feel jumpy and agitated in a way that unsettles the rest of the crew.
Terrance shows up in the cafeteria. LaPierre wants to know why he is still there. Terrance laments that he didn’t close the door on the van all the way and his battery is dead. He’ll have to wait until the storm subsides for the auto club to come with a new battery and the weather is too severe to try to leave anyway.
ACT 2 — THE POINT OF NO RETURN
INT – LAFFITE ELEMENTARY / SCHOOL GYM — EVENING
Sybil and Carmel are talking and checking on the building to make sure it is secure. They stumble upon the exit doors with chains. The enter the gym and scream in shock and terror.
The first horror appears with the death of Marie. She is the key holder of the chains and is the only one with the combination to the safe holding the key. Marie is found in the gym facing a boarded window with bloody scratch marks in the wooden boards, her face contorted, eyes gone (laying at her knees) with an open mouth midscream.
Several people in the cafeteria hear the screams and come running. Upon seeing the body, Clara is upset and panicked but remains rational under the conditions. Sybil is confused and gets her phone out to call the police but is getting no signal. Carmel appears overwhelmed and frightened by the sight of a dead body. Potter is dumbfounded and confused by a dead body in the gym. Coach Ogilvy comes from the locker room to see what the commotion is about. When he sees what happened to Marie, he kicks into gear with a game plan to keep the remaining people safe.
Marcus and Terrance come in late to the proceedings. Marcus’s tough guy arrogant personality shows fear and his pathetic attempts at trying to take charge are underwhelming. Principal LaPierre is uncharacteristically quiet but relieved that his blackmailer is dead until he remembers she has the code to the safe with the keys.
Jacob & Jill stand just outside the gym listening to the discovery, worried that one of the people in the school is one of the criminals they associate with trying to muscle in on their grift. They figure out a plan to steal the electronics and hide them until they can make a break for it.
Lily tries to look through the crowd to see what is going on. Miles and Chantel also come to see the commotion. Clara sees this and goes to them and moves them back down the hall away from the carnage. Jacob and Jill are not paying any attention to their daughter potentially seeing this grizzly sight.
Lily’s is fearful and panicked like when her parents fight and drink. Lily tells Clara she thinks the monster who did this is one that her parents would tell her about when she asked to many questions about their ‘business’. Miles and Chantel are worried and asking when their parents will be coming to get them.
Carmel and Sybil mention the chains on the door and ask who has the key to unlock them. LaPierre admits that Marie had the key, and he doesn’t have the code to the safe to retrieve it. Potter states
the boards secured to the brick walls with industrial strength nails will not easy to remove. They must think of another way out.
Clara returns to the group and logically thinks that one of the remaining people at the school is dangerous. It isn’t safe to go outside in the storm, but it isn’t safe to stay in the building. The remaining group is scared and panicking.
INT – LAFFITE ELEMENTARY / LAPIERRE OFFICE — EVENING
Carmel, Clara, LaPierre, Sybil, Ogilvy, Potter, and Terrance convene in LaPierre’s office. Since they don’t know who the killer is and there are some outsiders in their midst, they want to keep strategy to a smaller group. However, finger-pointing and paranoia set in with the remaining people.
Sybil let’s dominate personalities take over as she starts to think that Marie’s death looks eerily familiar. LaPierre tries to exercise authority but is outshined by Coach Ogilvy.
Marcus finds the others in the office and is angry that he wasn’t included. Marcus’s fear switches to over-the-top behavior that alienates some in the group, others are willing to go with his ideas since he is so adamant, and this causes the rifts and factions in the group to unfold. Some are drawn to Coach Ogilvy ability to come up with a strategy.
Jacob and Jill are keeping tabs on the conversation and decide they may need to thwart Coach Ogilvy’s plans and start thinking of ways to undermine his leadership and get Marcus in control.
Sybil, Carmel, Clara, and Potter are clearly in Ogilvy’s camp. Ogilvy is open to Potter’s steady and solid approach with ideas of how to get out of this. Clara has gained their trust but not Jacob and Jill as they are not thrilled with the influence she has over Lily.
Jacob and Jill, and Terrance are leaning towards Marcus. LaPierre grudgingly sides with Marcus but only because he thinks he can regain power over his faction. The say terrible things about the other group and imply that team Ogilvy can keep Carmel since they see her as week and a detriment to survival.
The heightened fear causes factions to break away for the rest of the group making it easier for the Care Center to target them but more difficult for anyone to know who a danger is and who is going to be helpful.
The being can cause paranoia in its targets and cause a very real human reaction of making poor judgements and dividing the group physically and emotionally from one another
INT — LAFFITE ELEMENTARY / CAFETERIA — EVENING
Lily, Miles, and Chantel wait in the cafeteria. Lily needs reassurance and comfort from Clara, not her parents. Chantel & Miles feel lost and alone and think the adults only see them as another thing to worry about be responsible for.
INT – LAFFITE ELEMENTARY / MEDIA CENTER – EVENING
Jacob and Jill try to take advantage of the chaos to pilfer electronics from the media room. They load up laptops and chargers into their backpacks and plan to hide them in the janitorial closet for safe keeping. Jacob and Jill think it will be an easy place to retrieve the goods from but if the computers are found, Potter would be blamed.
Lily, Miles and Chantel occupy themselves with a game of hide and seek in the school. Lily decides to hide in the janitor’s closet and finds a grizzly surprise. Her parents, Jacob and Jill are found in the cleaning closet, eyes gone, with herbs, amulets, and sack cloth stitched doll held between them. Lily screams. Clara, Sybil, Carmel, Ogilvy, Marcus, Potter, Terrence, and LaPierre come running.
Clara pulls Lily away and shields her from the carnage. Lily mumbles that her parents warned her about this.
Sybil secretly knows the configuration looks familiar to the one she saw in the church ten years ago.
The remaining people who see Jacob and Jill are extremely worried. Dissent is beginning to grow. LaPierre fight complains this is his school and tries to bully the rest into leaving into the dangerous weather on a school bus. LaPierre storms off to his office and challenges anyone who wants to leave to come with him. Marcus goes with him. Terrance volunteers to corral the people in the cafeteria and keep them away from the bodies and avoid mass panic and get them on the buses.
Jacob and Jill are covered with an extra tarp in the closet.
INT – LAFITTE ELEMENTARY / CLARA’S OFFICE – EVENING
Clara leads the kids and Sybil, Carmel, Potter, and Ogilvy to her office. The kids are put in the corner with toys to calm them down. The adults move to the opposite corner to whisper about next steps.
They agree that someone in the school is a killer. The evacuees in the cafeteria have been there the whole time so it can’t be one of them. Has to be someone connected to the school.
INT – LAFITTE ELEMENTARY / POOL – EVENING
LaPierre talks with Terrance and Marcus. The evacuees are getting ready to go in the cafeteria. LaPierre says he will get floatation devices from the pool just in case the buses get in trouble. Sheriff’s Office comes on the walkie talkie and advises listeners on channel 1 to stay put stating the storm is potentially lethal, flooding is widespread. LaPierre decides he will be the one to lead all of them to the safety of the school auditorium in the next parish.
When LaPierre enters the equipment closet, he finds all of the floatation devices with cuts and shreds in them. Confused and angry, he slams the door closed. Walking along the perimeter of the pool, he scratches his arm. He stops in his tracks and see a disturbing image. It is the tears and pain in a woman he raped 20 years ago. A memory he used to see as a mutual experience and only now sees the violation and unforgivable behavior he exhibited. Heaving, he grabs his chest. Looking down he sees his intestines dangling to the floor. He tries to run and gasps for air. Stumbling along the pool edge, he can’t see because his eyes are gone. He falls into the water and dies.
INT – LAFITTE ELEMENTARY / CLARA’S OFFICE – EVENING
Terrance come running into Clara’s office. Clara cuts him off at the door demanding he leave. Terrance, out of breath, says LaPierre was found dead in the bloody pool water. He doesn’t give any more details before everyone, but Carmel leaves the office. Carmel stays with the kids.
After locking the pool so that no one would find LaPierre, Clara’s faction and the rest of LaPierre’s faction return to Clara’s office.
ACT 3 — FULL OUT HORROR
INT – LAFITTE ELEMENTARY / CLARA’S OFFICE – EVENING
The group argues among themselves as to who is doing this. Both factions believe it is someone connected to the school. Coach Ogilvy suspects Marcus is the killer because he refused to work with the group. Marcus becomes enraged and picks up a baseball bat from the toy chest and goes after Ogilvy. A scuffle breaks out. The kids run behind the desk. The others move out the way and yell that them to stop. Sybil, Ogilvy, Potter, and Clara corner Marcus and knock him out. They drag him to Clara ’s coat closet and lock him with a chair against the door.
Carmel begins scratching her arm then begins acting strangely, acting out and contorting, eyes changing color. Something is pulling at her arms as she falls to the floor. The storm becomes increasingly frantic outside, branches crashing into the window. The group is trying to hold her down thinking it is a seizure.
Sybil stands by watching. She knows what is going on but knows revealing this could be disastrous for her. Sybil leans in and whispers into Carmel’s ear the word she remembers the priest who saved her used – Ouanga. The others don’t notice that she whispered in her ear. They are all rushing around covering the window and holding Carmel’s legs.
Carmel becomes herself again. She is able to tell the group about the Care Center. Then she turns very pointedly to Sybil and ask why she didn’t warn them. Shocked, the remaining group is divided about how Sybil plays into this.
Sybil tries to defend her with a sanitized version of who the Care Center is, but she doesn’t tell them they want her because of Carras. She tells them the Care Center can cause physical injuries as well as psychic injuries through bringing your past back as a vision. Clara, Ogilvy, and Lily look at each other. They have experienced the visions.
They agree to all stick together since they think Marcus is the killer.
INT – LAFITTE ELEMENTARY / CLARA’S OFFICE – EVENING
Coach Ogilvy remembers an old family hex to ward off bad omens and suggests finding the botany lab to secure some flowers and herbs to get started. Everyone heads to the lab thinking it would also be better to stay together.
Once they get there everyone goes in but Terrance. He looks hesitant. Sybil eyes him suspiciously. She didn’t tell the group that the Care Center would be forced to reveal their true form if they were exposed to the right mix of herbs which triggers Sybil to think he is from the Care Center. But he does enter the lab.
After the team creates amulets to do the hex, they head back to Marcus.
INT – LAFITTE ELEMENTARY / CLARA’S OFFICE – EVENING
They open the closet and a woozy Marcus, cursing them out, is dragged out to the middle of the office. The amulets are put around him. Ogilvy leads the incantation. Marcus starts moaning, groaning. They all think it is working. Nothing happens. Marcus chastises them for being too loud and his head hurts.
Then Terrance starts yelling and his eyes disappear, and his hands become big, and he reveals himself as a member of the Care Center.
INT – LAFITTE ELEMENTARY / HALLWAY – EVENING
Sybil yells to run for the roof and takes the lead. Except Lily runs the other direction down the hall and screams at the Terrance monster to come and get her. Lily has played a lot in the secret corners of the school and knew of another way to the roof and decided to use herself as a decoy. Sybil and Clara run towards her, and the Terrance monster knocks them back then disappears down the hall. Ogilvy follows them as they head in the direction that Lily ran. Potter hustles Miles and Chantel in the other direction to the roof.
EXT – LAFITTE ELEMENTARY / ROOF – EVENING
Sybil finds the Terrance monster cornering Lily and Lily is screaming, crying, and angry that he took her parents. The Terrance monster for a second looked confused. In that moment, Sybil threw an amulet at him. He treats in pain. She grabs Lily and they run up the stairs with Potter and Carmel to the roof.
Everyone makes it to the roof and storm is raging, winds gusting uncontrollably. Potter pulls out LaPierre’s walkie talkie. He forgot he picked it up. He starts calling for help. The Sheriff’s Office picks up. Just as he is telling them what is happing, the Terrance monster was down but not out. He appears on the roof and sets his sights on the children.
Clara goes into protective mode with the kids and steps in front of them. She reaches in her pocket for an amulet and finds that it must have fell out. Sybil and Carmel see this. Sybil steps up and says to take her and not the kids. Potter finds a crowbar in a toolbox bolted to the roof floor. Potter comes up behind the Terrance monster and hits him. The Terrance monster turns around and hits Potter. Potter gets up and makes a last effort to stab him with a crowbar, but the Terrance monster tossed him from the roof to his death.
The Terrance monster turns back to the kids. Standing behind the kids and Clara is Ogilvy. It was then that Sybil saw his hands grow large. Ogilvy was from the Care Center. Just as Sybil ran to stop him from sneaking up on the kids, Clara sees the Terrance monster raising his arms to attack and throws herself on him, not knowing the Terrance monster was actually going to save the kids and kill Ogilvy. Clara’s intestines are ripped from her. Clara sacrificed her soul for the kids. The kids scream in horror. Ogilvy laughs with delight. But the Terrance monster gets the last laugh.
Sybil, Carmel, and Marcus watch in horror as the Terrance monster skewers Ogilvy with a large hand and rips out his intestines. Ogilvy transforms into Carras. The Care Center was there for Carras all along because he broke the rules. The Care Center takes Carras and returns to wherever the Care Center resides. Clara steps in front and sacrifices herself.
Ogilvy fighst back and unleashes his power at the last minute in a fit of survival.
The Terrance monster returns to the Care Center by disappearing into a fog. Even the Care Center has rules that need to be enforced. That children are sacred and even the Care Center will defend the truly innocent.
No one is sure how long Ogilvy’s body was compromised. He was wolf in sheep’s clothing and should not have been trusted. Sybil slowly realizes that the Care Center had more than one faction in operation – one that is trying to capture one of their own and another trying to cause chaos, mayhem, and death.
EXT – LAFITTE ELEMENTARY / ROOF — DAWN
As the sun comes up and military aquatic vehicles come to take the survivors to safety, Sybil scratches her arm. She knows you can run but you can’t hide from the Care Center but if Carras is gone, maybe it’s over. She climbs into the military vehicle.
Miles and Chantel run to their parents’ arms. They start excitedly telling them about the evening’s event except they can’t seem to remember a lot of it.
Marcus shows a lot less hubris upon his rescue.
Lily sits next to Carmel when the load into the military vehicle. Lily does remember all of the events. She grows to believe that not all evil is totally evil. She squeezes Carmel’s hand. Carmel smiles at her. She scratches her arm. She tells Lily that she is a warrior even if she wasn’t born one, she could become one. Then Carmel turns to look out the window and her eyes disappear.
INT – LAFITTE ELEMENTARY / SCHOOL BUILDING – DAWN
The interior of the school will show all of the dead victims intact, and authorities discussing a poison food outbreak must have killed them. None of the bodies show the horrific injuries they suffered. The Care Center covers its tracks and soon no one in the school remembers any of the horrors. Only Sybil, Lily, and Carmel remember. The last shot is of all of them sitting together scratching their arms.
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