Post Your Lesson 1 Assignment here

[Kelly Joseph]

Kelly Find’s the Essence

What I learned? I learned that the essence is like a launch pad. Once you really get the essence down, you can get to the underbelly of the scene. If I know what the scene is really about I can really figure out the best way to express, it.

Scene 1 Location: Opening 5 pages
Logline: MAX sets out to do the best job he can.
Essence: The Ideal employee

Scene 2 Location: First 10 pages
Logline: Max meets Annie and makes a connection.
Essence: Meet Cute

Scene 3 Location: Inciting Incident
Logline: Max meets Vincent a professional killer
Essence: A wolf in sheep’s clothing.

Scene 4 Location: End of Act 1
Logline: Max takes Vincent on his first errand.
Essence: Hero steps into a trap.

Scene 5 Location: Midpoint
Logline: After being humiliated by his mother Max takes Vincent’s briefcase.
Essence: Battle with your fear

Essence: Battle with your fears.

I think the essence of this scene is to battle with your fears. I believe this is the essence because Max lives in a dream world that has never realized because he is insecure and lacks confidence. But he when his mother humiliates him in front of the man holding him hostage, Max finally takes action.

INT. HOSPITAL ROOM, LOWER FLOOR – MAX – NIGHT 40

(POSSIBLY INCLUDE CORRIDOR)

Enters with the flowers. Vincent appears behind him, hovering

in the doorway. Max moves toward the bed…

…where IDA RILKE lies hooked up to a heart monitor, a clear

plastic oxygen mask over her mouth. She opens her eyes.

MAX

Hi, Ma.

IDA

I’ve been calling and calling.

(CONTINUED)

10/4/03 MM revs. (blue) 55.

40 CONTINUED: (2) 40

MAX

I got caught up at work.

IDA

Why couldn’t you call me on the

telephone? I’m lying here, wondering

if something horrible happened to

you…

MAX

(to cut her off)

I brought you flowers.

IDA

What am I gonna do with flowers?

Script provided for educational purposes. More scripts can be found here: http://www.sellingyourscreenplay.com/library

MAX

You’re gonna cheer up.

IDA

How? By worrying…

(wheezes)

…that you spend money on

things…that all they’re gonna do is

wilt and die?

MAX

(to Vincent)

See?

(to Ida, defensively)

I didn’t buy ’em. He did.

IDA

Who? Come in. What I got is not

contagious.

(beat)

Why didn’t you tell me we had company?

(to Vincent)

And what’s your name? Sorry. My son

is rude.

VINCENT

No harm done, madam.

She takes the flowers from Max, making a fuss over them:

IDA

You paid for my flowers? They’re

beautiful. Max, will you introduce

us?

(CONTINUED)

10/4/03 MM revs. (blue) 56.

40 CONTINUED: (3) 40

MAX

Mom, Vincent. Vincent, my mother,

Ida.

Vincent sets his briefcase by the door, approaches the bed,

offers his hand. She takes it. He glows with charisma.

VINCENT

I’m really happy to meet you, Mrs.

Rilke.

IDA

Oh, call me Ida. To what do we owe this pleasure?

Vincent sits in the chair at bedside.

Script provided for educational purposes. More scripts can be found here: http://www.sellingyourscreenplay.com/library

VINCENT

Well, I was with Max when he got the

call.

IDA

And you came all the way here to see

me?

VINCENT

It’s nothing.

IDA

Tell my son. You have to hold a gun

to his head to get him to do anything.

VINCENT

Tell me about it.

Vincent leans in, helps her adjust her pillows.

IDA

You must be an important client of Max’s.

This catches Vincent slightly off guard. He glances to Max.

VINCENT

Client? I like to think of myself as his friend. A mentor.

IDA

Max never had many friends. Always

talking to himself in the mirror…

It’s unhealthy.

MAX

Hey, mom. How many times do I have to

ask you not to do that?

(CONTINUED)

10/4/03 MM revs. (blue) 57.

40 CONTINUED: (4) 40

IDA

Do what?

MAX

Talk about me like…I’m…not…in the room, here.

IDA

(to Vincent)

What’s he sayin’?

VINCENT

Ida, he says he’s standing right here. In the room. Here.

IDA

(to Max)

Yesss, you are, honey.

(back to Vincent)

He’s sensitive.

VINCENT

I know. But I’m sure you’re proud of him.

IDA

(directed at Max)

Of course I’m proud. You know, he started with nothing. Look at him today. Here. Vegas. Reno…

Vincent looks at Max…squirming under the exposure.

MAX

Mom, Vincent’s not interested.

(to Vincent)

Let’s go.

VINCENT

No. I am interested.

IDA

What’s your name, again?

VINCENT

Vincent…

MAX

I came to see you. I saw you. You look fine. Let’s go.

He’s kissed her and wants to get out of there.

IDA

Limousine companies.

VINCENT

Yeah?

IDA

He drives famous people around, you

know?

VINCENT

Limousine companies? What an achievement…

Script provided for educational purposes. More scripts can be found here: http://www.sellingyourscreenplay.com/library

Max heads for the door…

IDA

Visit again?

VINCENT

I’m only in town tonight.

IDA

When you come back?

VINCENT

Sure. I promise.

IDA

Well, nice to meet you, Vincent.

He turns to find Max gone. He looks down, eyes widening.So is the briefcase.

Vincent races out into…

40A INT. THE HALLWAY 40A

…and spins around, frantically trying to see where Max went.

Nothing but a FEW PATIENTS and HOSPITAL STAFF…

…and a door marked “STAIRS” swinging shut at the end of the

hallway. He runs in that direction…

40B INT. HOSPITAL STAIRWELL 40B

Vincent bursts through the door into the stairwell, hearing RUNNING FOOTSTEPS below. He peers over the railing……and sees Max three flights down. Max freezes, looking up,

clutching the briefcase. A moment of eye contact…

VINCENT

Stop or I’ll go back and kill her.

MAX

You’d do her a favor. …and Max keeps going, vanishing from view. Vincent takes off

after him, plunging down the stairs at breakneck speed…

VINCENT

I’ll tell her the truth!

(CONTINUED)

MOVING WITH MAX

careening dizzily down the steps with the briefcase, hurtling

from one landing to the next, FOOTSTEPS ECHOING on concrete.

MOVING WITH VINCENT

racing down the steps like a madman, yanking his H+K from under

his jacket…

EXT. HOSPITAL – ON REAR DOOR – NIGHT (OPTIONAL) 41

Max comes through the stairway door, racing like crazy along a

row of HUGE ROARING INDUSTRIAL WASHERS, trying to make it to the

EXIT DOOR

at the far end……and Vincent bursts from the stairwell in pursuit, pausing to whip his H + K up in a two-handed grip, aiming down the length of the laundry room… …as Max vanishes through the exit door at the far end.

42 EXT. HOSPITAL/ON REAR DOOR – NIGHT 42

Max races out.

INT. HOSPITAL STAIRWELL – VINCENT 42B

racing down the stairs…

EXT. HOSPITAL – REAR DOOR – VINCENT 42C

bursts through parking lot.

EXT. HOSPITAL – WIDE: VINCENT (VFX) 42D

See Vincent at end of parking lot running towards us. PAN LEFT to Max running up a walkway over the freeway.

EXT. PEDESTRIAN BRIDGE – MAX 43

runs to camera along the bridge which we now reveal is above and…

OVER THE FREEWAY

Max runs up, exhausted. The stream of lights beneath them. Max swings the briefcase back, preparing to hurl it…

VINCENT

Don’t!

(CONTINUED)

Script provided for educational purposes. More scripts can be found here: http://www.sellingyourscreenplay.com/library

9/21/03 MM revs. (pink) 59A.

43 CONTINUED: 43

…and Vincent’s H+K is aimed at Max. Max looks back, sees

Vincent, gun aimed at him…

VINCENT (CONT’D)

Red-light-green-light, Max.

A heartbeat. A hesitation. And then…

(CONTINUED)

10/4/03 MM revs. (blue) 60.

43 CONTINUED: (2) 43

MAX

Bullshit.

…Max hurls the briefcase with all his might. Vincent watches in horror as it spins lazily through the air and crashes onto the freeway below where it’s run over, flips in the air, is hit by a truck and the tablet PC is de-constructed into useless pieces of plastic and silicone. Vincent approaches.

VINCENT

(hisses)

What the fuck was that?

MAX

Jazz.

Max is suddenly on the ground, not knowing how he got there,

about to die.

Vincent, above, staring at Max.

VINCENT

You are screwing…with my work! My prep was in there. I’m coming up on number four. The night is no longer young.

Are we getting adversarial? Each syllable like a bullet. Should Vincent kill him? Then, almost admiring…

VINCENT (CONT’D)

Didn’t know you could do that…

(beat)

Let’s see what else you can do.

…and he pulls Max to his feet.

[Marshal Gordon]

Marshal Finds the Essence

What I learned is how to look at a scene and discover what it should convey to an audience. A way to see what makes the scene impactful, have purpose and move the action along.

Script I choose: Man on Fire

Scene 1 Location: Act 1

Logline: Lisa wants her husband Samuel to provide the family with the kind of bodyguard at the level of the other wealthy families in Mexico City. Samuel is resistant as Lisa leans into making it a superficial matter of status and worth.

Essence: Lisa is exerting her power over her husband by pushing the buttons she knows will get her what she wants in then end; status and their daughter.

Scene 2 Location: Act 1

Logline: A world weary John Creasy arrives in Mexico. A suspicious Custom agent checks Creasey’s passport as he questions him about his reason for coming to the country. As the Customs Agent checks his bag Creasy informs him, he is about to find a gun.

Essence: Creasy is not the ordinary traveler. He is coming to the country for a purpose, one he is unafraid to show.

Scene 3 Location: Act 1

Logline: Lisa enters her daughter Pinta’s room to find her hugging her teddy bear deep in thought. Her mother tells Pinta that her father is looking for a qualified bodyguard one that speaks English. She explains that it is important for Pinta to show her father her gratitude. “A man always needs to be thanked.”

Essence: Lisa wants to put Pinta’s mind at ease, but she also is teaching her the dynamics of the Male/Female order in life with a subtle hint of manipulation.

Scene 4 Location: Act 1 just after Inciting Incident.

Logline: Creasey’s old friend Rayburn, is driving Creasy to his interview with Samuel and Lisa. Creasy is uneasy about taking the job. Rayburn ignores Creasey’s concerns as he tells him the job ahead and reminding him it’s a job. One he needs.

Essence: Creasy has fallen on hard times due to his demons of deeds of the past and his descent into alcoholism. That as much as the family needs him, Creasy needs the work to regain his sense of purpose. But he isn’t sure he is up to it.

Scene 5 Location: ACT 2 before 2^nd act Twist

Logline: Creasy is teaching Lisa how to prepare for the sound of the starters pistol at her upcoming swim meet by getting her use to not panicking and freezing.

Essence: Creasy wants to teach a lesson about conquering fear.

My selection for most profound essence:

A MAN’S HAND. BLACK.

Raises up against the blue sky. Like a kid playing

Cowboys and Indians. The finger pulls an imaginary.

trigger.

RAMOS POOL

In her swimsuit and cap, Pinta crouches in makeshift

starting blocks.

CREASY

Bang!

Pinta takes off. Splashes into the water. Not to

Creasey’s satisfaction.

CREASY

No, no, come back.

Pinta turns in the water, looks back at him.

CREASY

You don’t flinch when a gun goes off; you.

react. You go. Don’t listen for the

sound; don’t anticipate it. Concentrate

on the sound itself.

PINTA

I don’t understand.

CREASY

Don’t worry. You will.

Creasy points at the blocks. Pinta gets out of the

water.

Shivering, Creasy throws a towel around her and

rubs her down.

The reason I chose this scene as the most profound essence is that it establishes something between Creasy and Lisa that both of them need. Eliminating their fears about themselves and establishing cementing their desire to allow themselves to not just trust others but themselves. For Creasy he knows he is teaching her a life skill she may well need to utilize one day to save her life.

[David Stamps]

David M. Stamps Finds the Essence

What I learned is that there is a lot of interesting elements that go into doubling your quality. More specifically, I got just how important, entertaining and moving a script can be when it comes from the Essence.

Script I choose: SAVING PRIVATE RYAN

Scene 1 Location: WAR TORN BEACH OF NORMANDY

Logline: A Motorman has just been blown to bits, MILLER, a capable yet terrified gives the men the inspiration to continue while he’s standing right beside them.

Essence: Be the one who makes it because of your courage and your wit.

Scene 2

Location: THE ROPES CLIMBING THROUGH A DANGEROUS DEATHTRAP OF A PHALANX OF GERMAN SOLDIERS PREPARED TO CUT THEM DOWN WHEN THEY MAKE THEMSELVES VULNERABLE.

Logline: As they travel up the rope some other soldiers lose their lives by losing their balance. Another way to die. Death is all around them.

Essence: Winning wars requires human sacrifice.

Scene 3

Location: A SUICIDE RUN FOR TWO DIFFERENT GROUPS OF SOLDIERS. ALL MOWED DOWN BY ENEMY FIRE, IN THEIR PRIME, FOR A WAR THEY DIDN’T START.

Logline: This is what it feels like to follow orders when you know you’re going to die.

Essence: If you decided to die for your country before you were a grown man, did you weigh your situation wisely.

Scene 4

Location: SUICIDE LINE

Logline: Here are comrades who are also friends in a moment of sheer panic Sgt. Miller, puts his life on the line.

Essence: In war every man lives by the courage of another man ultimately.

Scene 5

Location: THE CLIFF OVER THE SUICIDE LINE

Logline: The American Forces take over the German stronghold.

Essence: Perseverance and comradery in war is everything.

My selection for most profound essence:

SAVING PRIVATE RYAN

THE MOTORMAN IS RIPPED TO BITS.

BLOOD AND FLESH shower the men behind him. The mate takes the controls.

A YOUNG SOLDIER

His face covered with the remains of the motorman. Starts to lose it. Begins to shudder and weep. His name is DeLancey.

THE BOYS AROUND HIM

Do their best to straight ahead. But the fear infects them. It starts to spread.

A FIGURE

Pushes through the men. Puts himself in front of DeLancey. The figure s CAPT. JOHN MILLER. Early thirties. By far, the oldest man on the craft. Relaxed, Battle Hardened, powerful, ignoring the hell around them. He smiles, puts a cigar in his mouth, strikes a match on the front of DeLancey’s helmet and lights the cigar.

DeLancey tries to look away but Miller grips him by the jaw and forces him to lock eyes. Miller smiles. DeLancey is terrified.

Delancey

Captain, are we all gonna die?

Miller

Hell no, two thirds tops.

Delancey

Oh, Jesus…

Miller

I want every one of you to look at the man on your left. Now look at the man on your right.Feel sorry for those two sons of a bitches, they’re going to get it, you’re not going to get a scratch.

A few, including Delancey, manage thin smiles. Miller releases his grip on DeLancey who moves his jaw as if to see if it’s broken. Miller pats him on the cheek and moves on to the bow

[David Kandel]

David Kandel — Finds the Essence

What I learned is that taking a critical look at the essence of each scene really focuses on drawing out the purpose of the scene/action and characters involved. It helps to ensure that the writing is tight and advances the core message of the story.

Script I choose: Mr. Holland’s Opus

Scene 1 Location: Carl Holland’s home.

Logline: Carl Holland’s first day as a high school music teacher is a huge let down but his dreams of becoming a composer far outweigh the frustrations of teaching teenagers which he believes will only be a two-year gig.

Essence: Establish Holland’s dream of writing a great piece of music.

Scene 2 Location: Music Room at John F. Kennedy High School

Logline: Principal Molters confronts Holland about volunteering for extra work at school and lectures him about teaching as a calling but Holland makes it clear he doesn’t do anything unless he gets paid, and he informs Molters about what his true passion is – writing a symphony.

Essence: Holland is a bit of an asshole, yet he makes it very clear that his true passion is not for teaching but for the creative process of writing a symphony. This man is in the wrong profession. Holland even admits that he doesn’t “hear the call.”

Scene 3 Location: Cemetery where a funeral service is being conducted for a former student of Holland’s.

Logline: Holland takes a smart-ass, unfeeling student to a funeral for a young man who was killed in Vietnam and is moved to tears by the music and the emotion of the sadness expressed by the family and friends.

Essence: Holland articulates what he knows in his heart that music is the language of emotion and that it’s essential.

Scene 4 Location: Holland’s garage

Logline: Holland and his deaf son Cole have a huge misunderstanding and it becomes clear that Holland has never taken the time to learn how to communicate with his own son.

Essence: Holland has neglected his own son and family. He’s really a hypocrite.

Scene 5 Location: School gymnasium

Logline: As Holland is prepared to leave his teaching position for good, he is surprised by a gathering of current and former students who perform his lifelong dream, an American Opus.

Essence: Holland realizes that he has made a huge impact on many lives and he has been transformed from a teacher who didn’t care, and a distant father to an inspiring mentor who has helped hundreds of kids and has repaired a strained relationship with his son. The students and all of the people he has touched are his “American Opus.”

My selection for most profound essence… is the final scene in Mr. Holland’s Opus. The entire essence of the movie is contained in the lines spoken by “Gertrude,” a former student,’ who was mentored by Holland. His Opus is all of the lives he touched through his dedication to music and to his students. Holland certainly didn’t start out that way, but his character went through a major arc throughout the story.

Gertrude states the theme/core/essence of Holland’s life eloquently: “There is not a life in this room that you have not touched. And each one is a better person for meeting you or being your student. This is your symphony, Mr. Holland. These people are the notes and melodies of your opus. And this is the music of your life.”

INT. GYMNASIUM

BOMP! BOMP! BOMP!BOMP! BOMP!BOMP! BOMP! BOMP!”Louie, Louie” fills the air, played by the school band. The gymnasium is full, crammed to the rafters with students and townsfolk.

There is a banner over the stage — “Good-bye, Mr. Holland”. Holland is overwhelmed. Meister takes his briefcase and Principal Kiernan escorts him toward the stage. People reach out of the audience to shake his hand.

Soon we recognize older versions of Schiff, Goodrich, Groves –Lohman, Ed Claypool, Yntema, then Tidd — maybe a very womanly Rowena near the back. Mrs. Kiernan leads Holland up the steps to the stage, to the podium in front of the band. A stunned Holland looks for Iris. She and Cole wink at him. The applause finally dies down and Mrs. Kiernan addresses the crowd.

MRS. KIERNAN

I’ve only been here, what, thirteen years already? But when the word got out that the Music Program was cut, and about the subsequent retirement of our Mr. Holland … well, I have never seen such a response from this community — never. So we put together a little send-off. We were going to buy you something, Carl, a watch, or whatever… We asked your wife Iris what you might want or need, she was no help at all. (beat) The one thing she did mention was your writing. And I remember all those school board meetings, faculty meetings, and so on. I always saw you scribbling away, what I thought were pertinent notes, but I looked over your shoulder once and discovered it was quarter-notes and flats. I was so glad when you finished the damned thing so you could concentrate on your teaching again. There is good-nature laughter from the audience. Seriously, though, I don’t think I have ever come across a more dedicated, selfless teacher. The only way we can ever pay you back is to perform, for the first time, “The American Opus”, by Carl Holland.

She hands him the baton. He turns to the orchestra. The instruments are poised and ready. He looks down at the music stand. The sheet music is a copy of the original, in his handwriting. “The American Opus” by Carl Holland. He touches the sheets of music, looks at Iris. His Iris. He loves this woman. She motions him to get on with it. Then raises the baton, taps it once on the music stand and… the orchestra plays. The opening strains of the music fill the gym. Holland’s face glows and his chest fills with pride. There is a quiet murmur in the audience behind him. It gets louder, disrupting the music. Holland looks over his shoulder. Two Highway Patrolmen can be seen in the back of the gymnasium.

The murmur in the audience increases. A few words are audible. “The Governor … “It’s the Governor!” “Here!” “Where?” “I can’t see … ” “Look, over there!”

Holland drops his baton and the music peters out. The two Highway Patrolmen walk down the aisle ahead of a middle-aged woman in glasses. She is followed by two more Highway Patrolmen and a couple of staff members. She strides up the stage. Principal Kiernan takes the podium, startled.

MRS. KIERNAN

Ladies and gentlemen, may I present our Governor … and former Kennedy High School alumna, the Most Honorable Gertrude Van Lente. By God, it is Gertrude. She takes the microphone, waits for the applause to die down.

GERTRUDE

Thank you, Principal Kiernan. I’m sorry I arrived late and spoiled the music, but we’ll get right back to it. I came here today to say my thanks to Mr. Carl Holland. I remember him well… He had a great influence on my life. On a lot of lives, I know. And I have the feeling that Mr. Holland considers a great part of his life was misspent. He wrote this symphony of his to be performed, possibly to make him famous or rich, probably both. That is the American dream…that is how we measure success, by being rich and famous. On that scale, Mr. Holland is a failure — but I think he has achieved a success beyond riches and fame. Look around you, Mr. Holland. There is not a life in this room that you have not touched. And each one is a better person for meeting you, or being your student. This is your symphony, Mr. Holland. These people are the notes and melodies of your opus. And this is the music of your life.

The audience gives Holland a standing ovation. He looks out at the audience, each face a memory, a moment of his life.

GERTRUDE

One last thing, Mr. Holland. As long as I am Governor of this State there will always be a Music Program in the High Schools. Let’s get back to the music. Mr. Holland…

Holland steadies himself and goes back to the orchestra. He raises the baton. The music begins again. It is a great symphony with elements of jazz, rock, country, tin pan alley, and classical. Gertrude goes over to one of the girls playing the clarinet and whispers in her ear. And she takes the clarinet, takes the student’s seat, and plays.

Then, out of the audience, one or two at a time, other adults approach the stage and — one by one — replace the students in the orchestra. Eventually the orchestra is composed completely of adults. Holland cries openly as he leads them.

And in the audience, resting in Iris, lap, is the needlepoint –words encircled by twining ivy –

“Life Is What Happens

While You Are Making Other Plans”

[CJ Knapp]

CJ Finds the Essence

What I learned is: Learning to find the essence in every scene – or as a writer deliberately writing with the idea of the essence that I want to portray in the scene. Originally, I was going to select – Dead Poet’s Society as it had a profound impact on me. However, I want to write action thrillers, so I decided to find a film that inspired me. I am not sure I have the essence locked down – feels like what I would include in an outline of my story.

Script I chose: Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade

Scene 1 Location: Opening Scene
Logline: Even at a young age, Indy had a sense of adventure and preserving artifacts.
Essence: Indy has no fear to do the right thing and to get his father’s attention.

Scene 2 Location: First Turning Point
Logline: Indy is still doing the “right thing” and getting in trouble as he rescues a gold idol.
Essence: Indy works for a college to cover for his passion to find or rescue stolen artifacts. Usually in a dangerous situation. Establishes the Antagonist for the film

Scene 3 Location: End of Act 1
Logline: Indy follows reluctantly in his father’s footsteps.
Essence: Indy’s father’s footsteps also include following his attraction to Elsa. He has a lot more in common with his father than he wants to admit

Scene 4 Location: End of Act 2
Logline: Elsa is revealed as working for the Nazi’s – both Indy and his father fell for her charm.
Essence: Elsa betrays Indy like she did his father. Indy is reunited with his father and Brody holds the missing pages of the diary.

Scene 5 Location: Ending
Logline: To force Indy to find the Holy Grail – Henry (Indy’s father is shot)
Essence: Indy and Henry intercut as one solve the trials and traps to find the Holy Grail and bring the water of life to save Henry’s life.

[Sydney Burtner]

ASSIGNMENT

Syd Finds the Essence

What I’ve learned is how precisely George followed the Hero’s Journey model when writing STAR WARS: A NEW HOPE.

Script: Star Wars — A New Hope; Shooting Script, 4th Draft

Scene 1 Location: Leia introduced in opening sequence, Scene 7

Logline: A sixteen year-old princess charges a small robot to deliver technical specs that can undo the Empire’s ultimate weapon — while in the losing end of an all-out dog fight with an Imperial cruiser.

Essence: Princess Leia puts the fate of the universe is in the hands of a defiant robot to save civilization from the ruthless Empire, personified by Darth Vader.

Scene 2 Location: Binary Sunset; Scenes 31-32, Desire Stated

Logline: Luke negotiates with Uncle Owen to leave (to go to the Academy), but resigns himself to staying on the Farm.

Essence: Luke knows he’s made for more, desiring a life of purpose — symbolized by the two Suns, but chooses to do his duty. The Suns represent his choices, also underscored by his two father-figure/mentors. Uncle Owen represents responsibility and obedience, but also is the voice that keeps Luke small. Obi-Wan also represents responsibility — but to the larger cause. He speaks dignity and empowerment into Luke and encourages his potential. This scene occurs right before he meets the latter.

Scene 3 Location: Imperial Troopers attack Lars Homestead; Sc 48-50

Logline: In the Empire search for the droids, the Empire torches Luke’s home. He arrives to find Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru dead.

Essence: Luke can no longer resist the call to fight the Empire.

Scene 4 Location: Mos Easley / Cantina; sc 54-61

Logline: Ben Kenobi recruits a discreet pilot, Han Solo, and his co-pilot Chewy. While Ben and Luke evade the Empire, Han dodges the mob, led by Jabba the Hut.

Essence: After choosing his mission, Luke enters a new world where danger comes from all sides — not just the Empire — but he catches his first glimpse of the power of the force.

Scene 5 Location: Obi-Wan / Darth Vader duel; Scene 145 (Sc 141-145)

Logline: Luke and team rescue Princess Leia, forcing Obi-Wan into a duel to the death with Darth Vader, his former pupil.

Essence: Obi-Wan sacrifices himself pushing Luke to step into leadership and fulfill his destiny.

Please select the scene that you feel had the most profound essence and post the scene along with its essence. Then in three sentences or so, tell us why you believe this is the essence of this scene.

INT. DEATH STAR – HALLWAY

Solo, Chewie, Luke, and Leia tensely watch the duel. The

troops rush toward the battling knights.

HAN

Now’s our chance! Go!

They start for the Millennium Falcon. Ben sees the troops

charging toward him and realizes that he is trapped. Vader

takes advantage of Ben’s momentary distraction and brings

his mighty lightsaber down on the old man. Ben manages to

deflect the blow and swiftly turns around.

The old Jedi Knight looks over his shoulder at Luke, lifts

his sword from Vader’s then watches his opponent with a

serene look on his face.

Vader brings his sword down, cutting old Ben in half. Ben’s

cloak falls to the floor in two parts, but Ben is not in it.

Vader is puzzled at Ben’s disappearance and pokes at the

empty cloak. As the guards are distracted, the adventurers

and the robots reach the starship. Luke sees Ben cut in two

and starts for him. Aghast, he yells out.

LUKE

No!

The stormtroopers turn toward Luke and begin firing at him.

The robots are already moving up the ramp into the

Millennium Falcon, while Luke, transfixed by anger and awe,

returns their fire. Solo joins in the laserfire. Vader looks

up and advances toward them, as one of his troopers is

struck down.

HAN (to Luke)

Come on!

LEIA

Come on! Luke, its too late!

HAN

Blast the door! Kid!

Luke fires his pistol at the door control panel, and it

explodes. The door begins to slide shut. Three troopers

charge forward firing laser bolts, as the door slides to a

close behind them, shutting Vader and the other troops out

of the docking bay. A stormtrooper lies dead at the feet of

his onrushing compatriots. Luke starts for the advancing

troops, as Solo and Leia move up the ramp into the

pirateship. He fires, hitting a stormtrooper, who crumbles

to the floor.

BEN’S VOICE

Run, Luke! Run!

Luke looks around to see where the voice came from. He turns

toward the pirate ship, ducking Imperial gunfire from the

troopers and races into the ship.

This is a particularly emotionally-charged scene for Luke as he lost his Father when he was young and recently lost his father-figure, Uncle Owen. Obi-Wan assumed the role of mentor for Luke, a superior mentor because Obi-Wan believed in Luke’s potential and greater destiny. In making the sacrifice Obi-Wan not only allows the others to escape, he also signals to Luke that he’s ready — he no longer needs Ben. The audience also understands from this scene, that Ben becomes one with the force, which I believe symbolized that the force / victory is Luke’s destiny.

[Deleted User]

Karen Crider Puts Essence to Work

How to Train Your Tutu, Karen Crider puts essence to work.

What I learned is…I’m not sure about this lesson. I guess, I believe if you jump into a scene you are there, and that presence determines the core, the action and the outcome. However, I will try to apply what is here. I do realize though, when I look up these scenes with the ideas of core, accomplishing the core, the deeper meanings, they make me focus on the writing which drives me back to character and concept. Thanks.

–End of lesson insights: Rewriting these scenes gave me insight that I can add a newer way of introducing comedy and a fresher take on the writing. Perhaps more a show than a tell. More insightful, less on the nose. I guess that’s what you mean by essence. Thanks, Karen Crider

Script I choose: How to Train Your Tutu

INT. DOUGHNUT SHOP-DAY

…The next morning, Cassidy maintains a low profile to avoid a lecture. Instead, her dad finishes off her ego with the silent treatment.

She finishes decorating a last- minute cake and leaves without saying good-bye.

#1. INT. GENOA HIGH SCHOOL-DAY— (the scene I picked.)

Cassidy saunters to school alone. She goes through the motions of attending classes.

INT. ARCHIE’S DOUGHNUT SHOP-DAY

Susie has skipped school, but meets Cassidy afterward. They each grab a doughnut and couple it with a diet soda. They race to Cassidy’s bedroom.

BEDROOM

Susie flops on the bed. Powdered sugar spatters Cassidy’s pink bedspread.

Cassidy changes her clothes and brushes her hair into submission.

Susie checks out one of Cassidy’s outfits she wants to borrow. She holds it up to herself.

CASSIDY

What’s your mom gonna’ say when she finds out you’ve skipped school?

SUSIE

(sipping her diet soda)

She stays drunk. She doesn’t know I’m there half the time, cause she’s not there half the time.

Cassidy lies on the bed staring at the ceiling.

Scene #1, Location: INT. GENOA HIGH SCHOOL-DAY

Logline: A fourteen-year- old girl deals with the jungle of complications comprising her life.
Essence I’ve discovered: The loneliness that comes from being an artist.
New Logline: Into a bevy of activity, Cassidy saunters to her classes; her mind on ballet.

#2. INT. CASSIDY’S BEDROOM-DAY

Cassidy continues her toe exercises to strengthen her muscles.

She plies Susie’s slippers and ties the ribbons above her ankles.

Cassidy pirouettes on her toes, thrilled about her new skill. She bends, bows, and stretches inside a new sense of freedom.

CASSIDY’S REVERIE

She’s Cinderella at the ball. All she has to do now is wait for Prince Andrew to notice.

She glimpses him between the movement of people. He’s gazing at her, as if awed by her beauty.

He approaches Cassidy, and offers his arm. As they dance, Cassidy melts into Andrew’s embrace.

His face close to hers. His commanding persona; his broad shoulders; their lips touching…

All her bumps and bruises melt. She’s cast into complete abandon, until her father shouts her back to reality.

REVERIE OVER

Scene 2, Location: Bedroom
Logline: Cassidy continues her toe exercises to strengthen her muscles.
Essence I’ve discovered: What it takes to touch the essence.
New Logline: Cassidy acquires more skills to realize her dream.

#3. INT.ARCHIE’S DOUGHNUT’S SHOP-N.

Cassidy’s still angry over Margo’s ploys as she decorates a cake order. Her hands shake as she wrecks six roses in a row, and has to re-do it seven times.

The door bangs, Susie joins Cassidy behind the counter.

SUSIE

Hi, you okay? I hear Margo has given you grief. She brags about her conquests. I guess you’re one of them. What’s happened?

CASSIDY

( heartbroken)

She let Miss Fossi know about my math grades. I can’t attend ballet till I raise my average.

Cassidy blows her nose.

SUSIE

So, Margo strikes again. I have tutoring on Wednesdays. Wanna come?

CASSIDY

I can’t. Almost every day, I have cake orders clear to China. I hope you get a good tutor.

SUSIE

Yeah well, I been kinda’ thinking of quitting ballet.

CASSIDY

Bummer!

Scene 3. Location: Archie’s Doughnut Shop
Logline: Cassidy’s still angry over Margo’s ploys, as she decorates a cake order, her hands shake. She wrecks six roses in a row, and has to re-do it seven times.

Essence I’ve discovered: The effects of the ploys of the enemy.
New Logline: The war of the roses; trying to vent successfully against the enemy without losing her joy.

EXT./INT. ARCHIE’S DOUGHNUT SHOP-DAYS LATER

Susie knocks at the door. Cassidy reluctantly lets her in.

CASSIDY

We’re closed. What do you want?

SUSIE

I think we need to talk.

CASSIDY

Nothing to talk about. C’mon in. I know you’re spending time with Andrew.

SUSIE

We’re just friends.

Cassidy glimpses the ring on Cassidy’s finger.

CASSIDY

Really? Nice ring. Is it still warm from Margo’s finger?

Archie interrupts to give Cassidy a few cake orders.

He reaches under the counter and retrieves the nursing journals. He makes a big deal out of dropping them into the waste can. The journals KLONK! as they hit bottom.

ARCHIE

No sense keeping dust collectors.

Scene 4 Location: EXT./INT. ARCHIE’S DOUGHNUT SHOP-DAYS LATER

Logline: Susie knocks at the door. Cassidy reluctantly lets her in.

Essence I’ve discovered: Jealousy produces a strain on any friendship
New Logline: Susie’s come to eat crow; Cassidy opens the door with a fresh serving.

#5. INT/EXT. ARCHIE’S DOUGHNUT SHOP-DAY

As Cassidy enters the busy shop, she hears a familiar giggle. Margo Merlow perches at a back table with Andrew and her co-horts.

Her father is serving them doughnuts. Margo’s syrupy voice is not lost on Cassidy, as Margo hands her dad, her crumpled up exam.

MARGO

Cassidy has lost her math test paper, Mr.O’Shea. She needs this test to review. Can you give it to her?

ARCHIE

(angry)

I’ll definitely give it to her alright!

The big, fat F shines in the sunlight.

Margo smirks, A few giggles escape her cronies.

Cassidy watches her father frown invade his features, igniting the lightening striking his eyes, provoking his tone.

Scene 5 Location: INT/EXT. ARCHIE’S DOUGHNUT SHOP-DAY

Logline: As Cassidy enters the busy shop, she hears a familiar giggle. Margo Merlow perches at a back table with Andrew and her co-horts.
Essence I’ve discovered: Vengeance
New Logline: The shop feels extra warm as Cassidy enters the shop, as if there’s a heat wave…

T

[Caroline Fritz]

Caroline Finds the Essence!

What I learned: That there is a combination of subtext, action and dialogue that make up great scenes.

The Searchers

1. Scene 1: End of Opening Credits

Logline: Ethan arrives after a long absence

Essence: Martha is in shock when her long lost love, Ethan, returns to his brother’s home

2. Scene 2: Rustlers have stolen the cows
Logline: The Posse is ready to head out and Martha strokes Ethan’s coat before handing to him, as Clayton pretends he doesn’t notice.

Essence: Martha and Ethan are in love even though Martha is married to Aaron, Ethan’s brother

3. Scene 3: The Comanche have been located

Logline: Ethan wants to charge into camp but Clayton says that the girls will be killed

Essence: Ethan wants to kill his nieces because they probably have been raped

4. Scene 4: It snows

Logline: Ethan and Marty try to track Looks but it has snowed and the tracks are gone.
Essence: Ethan and Martin will never find Debbie.

5. Scene 5: Ethan and Martin find Debbie

Logline: The U.S. Army defeats the Comanche and Debbie is pursued by Ethan, who saves her
Essence: Ethan has decided to rescue Debbie instead of killing her.

[Michael Greco]

Michael Greco Finds the Essence (Creative Mastery course – Lesson 1 7.11.2021)

What I learned is that the layers of a well-crafted screenplay yield substantial riches, while providing a compelling through-line for the story.

Script I choose: Chinatown, by Robert Towne (1974).

Scene 1 Location: Walsh’s and Duffy’s Office
Logline: A poised middle-aged lady posing as Mrs. Evelyn Mulwray, wife of Water Commissioner Hollis Mulwray, engages Gittes to cull evidence of Mulwray’s purported extra-marital philandering.
Essence: Jake Gittes revealed as attentive and charming, especially to women – and also as being over-impressed by wealth and high-powered people; opportunistic-to-greedy. The revelation of the ruse by publishing the affair in the major L.A. newspaper, which Gittes did not expect at all, will reveal him to be somewhat gullible, under-vigilant, too trusting.

Scene 2 Location: Mrs. Mulwray’s home.
Logline: Mrs. Mulwray entertains Gittes, agrees to summarily drop the defamation lawsuit she had filed against Gittes, and resists discussing the targeting of Mulwray further.
Essence: Gittes sees that Mrs. Mulwray does not trust him, and is unlikely to let him know all the facts about her family and the smear campaign against Hollis Mulwray.

Scene 3 Location: Adelaide Drive Bungalow where Evelyn Mulwray’s daughter Katherine is being kept.
Logline: Gittes strikes violently Evelyn Mulwray several times, forcing her admission that her daughter is the product of Noah Cross’ rape of Evelyn Mulwray.
Essence: Gittes sees in full measure the dominion Noah Cross exercises over those closest to him, his own daughter, and the viciousness and evil that is Noah Cross and the power structure he has created. Gittes and Evelyn make a plan for Evelyn to flee to Mexico with Katherine, or to Chinatown to hide – to escape Cross. Gittes sees for the first time that Evelyn is equally innocent as Katherine, and that Evelyn is attempting to protect Katherine from Cross.

Scene 4 Location: Mulwray’s home.
Logline: Noah Cross confronted by Gittes, who accuses him of murdering Mulwray in the salt-water pond, and of alienating his daughter and grand-daughter. Cross brushes off Gittes and has his henchman seize the bi-focal eyeglasses from him, demonstrating his grandeur and power.
Essence: Gittes sees a whole new level of power-brokering and Hobbesian manipulation/ domination; realizes he is up against overwhelming forces when he asks Cross what good would another $10M do Cross, “[what would it buy that you don’t already have?]” to which Cross responds, “The Future, Mr. Gittes. The Future.”

Scene 5 Location: Los Angeles street in Chinatown.
Logline: As Evelyn Mulwray drives away with her daughter, Noah Cross accosts them to stop them. Gittes has Evelyn flee with Katherine in Duffy’s car, as Escobar is trying to arrest Evelyn for brandishing a gun. A uniformed police officer on the scene shoots at fleeing Evelyn in the car, striking Evelyn in the head with the bullet shooting through her eye, to the horror of her screaming daughter.
Essence: Gittes feels utterly helpless against Cross and his power empire – he cannot even challenge Cross, who has prevented Evelyn from being able to reveal the rape and incest and is now trying to ‘console’ his hysterical daughter/granddaughter. Gittes’ partner Walsh signals their helplessness, as he can only pull Gittes away saying “Forget it, Jake – it’s Chinatown.”

My selection for most profound essence: (Post scene here without worrying
about formatting and then also post the essence and why you believe that is
the essence).

SCENE 3 – Bungalow where Evelyn is keeping her daughter Katherine.

EXT. BUNGALOW-HOUSE – ADELAIDE DRIVE

Gittes pulls up in Mulwray’s Buick. He hurries to the front door, pounds on it. The Chinese servant answers the door.

CHINESE SERVANT You wait.

GITTES (short sentence in Chinese) You wait.

Gittes pushes past him. Evelyn, looking a little worn but glad to see him hurries to the door. She takes Gittes’ arm.

EVELYN How are you? I was calling you.

She looks at him, searching his face.

GITTES — Yeah?

They move into the living room. Gittes is looking around it.

EVELYN Did you get some sleep?

GITTES Sure.

EVELYN Did you have lunch? Kyo will fix you something –

GITTES (abruptly) — where’s the girl?

EVELYN Upstairs. Why?

GITTES I want to see her.

EVELYN …she’s having a bath now… why do you want to see her?

Gittes continues to look around. He sees clothes laid out for packing in a bedroom off the living room.

GITTES Going somewhere?

EVELYN Yes, we’ve got a 4:30 train to catch. Why?

Gittes doesn’t answer. He goes to the phone and dials.

GITTES J. J. Gittes for Lieutenant Escobar.

EVELYN What are you doing? What’s wrong? I told you we’ve got a 4:30 –

GITTES (cutting her off) You’re going to miss your train!

(then, into phone)

Lou, meet me at 1412 Adelaide it’s above Santa Monica Canyon… yeah, soon as you can.

EVELYN What did you do that for?

GITTES (a moment, then) You know any good criminal lawyers?

EVELYN (puzzled) — no…

GITTES Don’t worry — I can recommend a couple. They’re expensive but you can afford it.

EVELYN (evenly but with great anger) What the hell is this all about?

Gittes looks at her — then takes the handkerchief out Of his breast pocket — unfolds it on a coffee table, revealing the bifocal glasses, one lens still intact. Evelyn stares dumbly at them.

GITTES I found these in your backyard — in your fish pond. They belonged to your husband, didn’t they?… didn’t they?

EVELYN I don’t know. I mean yes, probably.

GITTES — yes positively. That’s where he was drowned…

EVELYN What are you saying? GITTES There’s no time for you to be shocked by the truth, Mrs. Mulwray. The coroner’s report proves he was killed in salt water. Just take my word for it. Now I want to know how it happened and why. I want to know before Escobar gets here because I want to hang onto my license.

EVELYN — I don’t know what you’re talking about. This is the most insane… the craziest thing I ever…

Gittes has been in a state of near frenzy himself. gets up, shakes her.

GITTES Stop it! I’ll make it easy. –You were jealous, you fought, he fell, hit his head — it was an accident — but his girl is a witness. You’ve had to pay her off. You don’t have the stomach to harm her, but you’ve got the money to shut her up. Yes or no?

EVELYN … no…

GITTES Who is she? And don’t give me that crap about it being your sister. You don’t have a sister.

Evelyn is trembling.

EVELYN I’ll tell you the truth…

Gittes smiles.

GITTES That’s good. Now what’s her name?

EVELYN — Katherine.

GITTES Katherine?… Katherine who?

EVELYN — she’s my daughter.

Gittes stares at her. He’s been charged with anger and when Evelyn says this it explodes. He hits her full in the face. Evelyn stares back at him. The blow has forced tears from her eyes, but she makes no move, not even to defend herself.

GITTES I said the truth!

EVELYN — she’s my sister –

Gittes slaps her again.

EVELYN (continuing) — she’s my daughter.

Gittes slaps her again.

EVELYN (continuing) — my sister.

He hits her again.

EVELYN (continuing) My daughter, my sister –

He belts her finally, knocking her into a cheap Chinese vase which shatters and she collapses on the sofa, sobbing.

GITTES I said I want the truth.

EVELYN (almost screaming it) She’s my sister and my daughter!

Kyo comes running down the stairs.

EVELYN (continuing; in Chinese) For God’s sake, Kyo, keep her upstairs, go back!

Kyo turns after staring at Gittes for a moment then goes back upstairs.

EVELYN (continuing) — my father and I, understand, or is it too tough for you?

Gittes doesn’t answer.

EVELYN (continuing) … he had a breakdown… the dam broke… my mother died… he became a little boy… I was fifteen… he’d ask me what to eat for breakfast, what clothes to wear!… It happened… then I ran away…

GITTES to Mexico…

She nods.

EVELYN Hollis came and took… care of me… after she was born… he said… he took care of her… I couldn’t see her… I wanted to but I couldn’t… I just want to see her once in a while… take care of her… that’s all… but I don’t want her to know… I don’t want her to know…

GITTES … so that’s why you hate him…

Evelyn looks slowly up at Gittes.

EVELYN — no… for turning his back on me after it happened! He couldn’t face it… (weeping) I hate him.

Gittes suddenly feels the need to loosen his tie.

GITTES — yeah… where are you taking her now?

EVELYN Back to Mexico.

GITTES You can’t go by train. Escobar’ll be looking for you everywhere.

EVELYN How about a plane?

GITTES That’s worse… Just get out of here — walk out, leave everything.

EVELYN I have to go home and get my things –

GITTES — I’ll take care of it.

EVELYN Where can we go?

GITTES …where does Kyo live?

EVELYN — with us.

GITTES On his day off. Get the exact address.

EVELYN — okay…

She stops suddenly.

EVELYN Those didn’t belong to Hollis.

For a moment Gittes doesn’t know what she’s talking about. Then he follows her gaze to the glasses lying on his handkerchief.

GITTES How do you know?

EVELYN He didn’t wear bifocals.

Gittes picks up the glasses, stares at the lens, is momentarily lost in them. EVELYN from the stairs. She has her arm around Katherine.

EVELYN Say hello to Mr. Gittes, sweetheart.

KATHERINE (from the stairs) Hello.

GITTES rises a little shakily from the arm of the sofa. GITTES Hello. With her arm around the girl, talking in Spanish, Evelyn hurries her toward the bedroom. In a moment she re-emerges.

EVELYN (calling down) — he lives at 1712 Alameda… do you know where that is?

REACTION – GITTES He nods slowly.

GITTES — sure. It’s Chinatown.

As mentioned above, Gittes sees in full measure the dominion Noah Cross exercises over those closest to him, his own daughter, and the viciousness and evil that is Noah Cross and the power structure he has created. Gittes and Evelyn make a plan for Evelyn to flee to Mexico with Katherine, or to Chinatown to hide – to escape Cross. Gittes sees for the first time that Evelyn is equally innocent as Katherine, and that Evelyn is attempting to protect Katherine from Cross.

The scene is especially powerful and pivotal in the movie because at the beginning of the scene Gittes thinks Evelyn was involved in murdering Hollis Mulwray. By the end of the scene he has a completely different understanding of Evelyn’s relationship to Hollis, to Katherine, and to Cross. And Evelyn negates Gittes’ evidence that he found Hollis’ eyeglasses in the salt water pond where he believes Hollis was murdered, noting that Hollis did not wear bifocals.

Finally, the resolution of the scene has Evelyn, Katherine and Gittes forced to go to Chinatown, bringing up Gittes’ own tortured past.

[Henry Kana]

(Henry Kana) Finds the Essence

Script 1 choose: “American Beauty”

Scene 1 Location: INT. SALE HOUSE – MOMENTS LATER

Logline: Real Estate Agent stripps down to clean house in hope of a sale.

Essence: Failing Real Estate Sales person uses mantras to help her attempt to sell a worthless house.

Scene 2 Location: EXT. HIGH SCHOOL CAMPUS – A SHORT TIME LATER

Logline: Teenage girls boast about having sex.

Essence: None of them have had sex.

Scene 3 Location: EXT. HOTEL – LATER

Logline: Ricky and Lester become friends and smoke a joint.

Essence: Lester realizes that Ricky is his next door Drug dealer.

Scene 4 Location: INT. BURNHAM HOUSE – JANE’S ROOM

Logline: Ricky and Jane come together to confront Angela’s ordinary person life.

Essence: Jane realizes she is beautiful and is not an ordinary person.

Scene 5 Location: INT. BURNHAM HOUSE – FAMILY ROOM

Logline: Lester thinks he is about to score with Angela.

Essence: Angela admits she is not the worldy woman she portrays to be.

[Marc KOENIG]

Marc KOENIG Finds the Essence

What I learned is that the essence is the very first step to create a scene. The essence is to the scene what a high concept is to the whole story. And if the essence of the whole story is its DNA, then the essence of the scene is one of its genes.

The script I choose: THE BOURNE IDENTITY

Scene 1 Location: INT. FISHING BOAT BUNK ROOM

Logline: Giancarlo interrogates the rescued stranger about what he found in his hip.

Essence: The stranger has totally lost his short-term and long-term memory.

Scene 2 Location: EXT. ZURICH PARK

Logline: The stranger easily – and almost unwittingly – knocks out two agents who control him.

Essence: The stranger has amazing fighting skills, but he doesn’t know where they come from.

Scene 3 Location: INT./EXT. US CONSULATE BUILDING

Logline: Jason Bourne escapes the consulate building although he is hunted by a dozen trained soldiers.

Essence: Jason Bourne is wanted by the authorities.

Scene 4 Location: INT. PARIS APARTMENT

Logline: A Treadstone asset assaults Jason Bourne.

Essence: Jason Bourne is hunted to be killed, but he is much more skilled even than special force soldiers.

The scene with the most profound essence:

Scene 5 Location: INT. LITTLE RED CAR

Logline: Jason and Marie reach the end of the journey Jason paid for. Marie wants to stay with Jason. He feels he doesn’t want to leave her.

Essence: Jason and Marie feel something for each other.

Jason and Marie reach what should be the end of the journey together but they both feel the moment of time they have to spend together is not done yet. Marie is looking for a better life and Jason is looking for his own life. They need each other.

Scene

INT. THE LITTLE RED CAR — DAY

STREET NEAR BOURNE’S APARTMENT — DAY RED CAR cruising through town. MARIE driving. BOURNE checking building numbers as they pass —

BOURNE
Slow down. No, don’t stop. Just…

MARIE

(looking over)

That’s it? Is that it?

AN APARTMENT BUILDING. Big building. Elegant but cold.

BOURNE
Four-fifty. That’s the address…

MARIE

Looks familiar?

BOURNE

No.
(staring back as

they pass–)
No. Go around. Keep going…

MARIE pulling up — turning a corner — watching does. But he’s pre-occupied — eyes scanning — all in —

MARIE

Where?

BOURNE
Yeah. Pull in here. Park it.

MARIE angles into an alleyway. Cuts the engine.

MARIE

So this is it, right?

BOURNE

I guess.

Dead pause. She’s waiting. He’s still scanning

MARIE

I should go.

BOURNE
I don’t remember any of this.

MARIE
Jason…

He turns back. She’s staring at him.

BOURNE
Sorry. The money, right?

Before she can say anything, he’s digging in the backpack. He pulls out another stack of hundreds. Hands it over. She takes it. It’s not what she wanted, but she’s used to being disappointed. Fighting it.

MARIE
Okay, so…

BOURNE
Thanks for the ride.

MARIE
Anytime.

Silence. That moment. He focuses. Getting it.

BOURNE
Look, I don’t know what’s up there.

MARIE
You got me pretty fucking curious.

BOURNE
Look, you could come up. Or you
could wait if you want. I could
go check it out. You could wait.

MARIE
Nah…

(hide the pain)

With you, I mean, you’d probably

just forget about me, right?

BOURNE

How could I forget about you?

(he smiles)
You’re the only person I know.

MARIE smiles. We’ve never seen it before. Worth waiting for.

[Ann Carpenter]

Ann Finds the Essence

What I learned is that there is more depth to great writing and it all starts with getting to the essence of what you want to write.

Script I choose: The Shawshank Redemption

Scene 1 location: In the first 10 pages, Scene 9, Shawshank Hearing room.

Logline: Red pleads his case for freedom and is rejected.

Essence: There is no hope. A good speech will get you nowhere.

Scene 2 location:, Scene 58, The Roof

Logline: Andy offers financial advice to a guard and gets beers for gu co-workers.

Essence: Andy has found a way to make inroads with the guards and prisoners.

Scene 3 location: Scene 86, midpoint

Logline: Norton searches Andy’s cell for contraband and finds nothing.

Essence: Norton is testing Andy. Makes sure Andy knows his place.

Scene 4 location: Scene 93, Main Hallway

Logline: Andy asks Norton if he can request the Senate for money. Norton agrees to mail the letters.

Essence: Andy has gotten Norton’s permission and assistance.

Scene 5 location: Last 20 pages Scene 258

Logline: Norton discovers how Andy carved his way to freedom.

Essence: Andy has found salvation and Norton is being delivered payback.

My selection for the most profound essence:  INT -- NORTON'S OFFICE -- DAY (1966) 258

Norton opens his safe and pulls out the “ledger” — it’s

Andy’s Bible. The title page is inscribed by hand: “Dear

Warden. You were right. Salvation lay within.” Norton flips to

the center of the book — and finds the pages hollowed out in

the shape of a rock-hammer.

[Carol Paur]

I can’t Find Discussion for Day 2 so will post Day 2 here:

Carol L. Paur Puts Essence to Work (Lesson 2)

What I learned is – truthfully, I haven’t figured out what essence is – so just did the exercise the best I could. I didn’t think the Juno example was clear for me. When I read the script, I thought the essence was a young girl preparing to live on her own. Clearly I have not figured out essence.

Script I choose: Halfway There

Scene 1 Location: Lake

Logline: Adult man drives the speedboat recklessly.

Essence I’ve discovered: Matt Linzer doesn’t care about anyone but himself, and Cecelia is starting to question if she should be dating him.

New Logline: Man risks the life of his friend and girlfriend with his risky driving of his speed boat.

Scene 2 Location: Matt Linzer and Cecelia Heart’s home

Logline: Matt and Cecelia host a party and Matt is missing.

Essence I’ve discovered: Cecelia is a conscientious host while Matt is doing his own thing.

New Logline: Matt balances thirty glasses of beer on his head while Cecelia prepares food for guest.

Scene 3 Location: Matt and Cecelia’s bedroom

Logline: Matt cleans out the room getting ready to leave Cecelia

Essence I’ve discovered: Matt wants out of the relationship, and it’s a surprise to Cecelia.

New Logline: Man breaks off relationship surprising his girlfriend.

Scene 4 Location: Van

Logline: Mother and daughter discuss daughter’s bad boyfriend and broken relationship.

Essence I’ve discovered: Mother and daughter have issues with each other.

New Logline: Mother insinuates daughter made bad choices when she drives her back to the family home.

Scene 5 Location: Yefim’s Office

Logline: Man wants to hire Cecelia quickly.

Essence I’ve discovered: Yefim doesn’t care about the residents of Enlightened Homes but needs a person to supervise them.

New Logline: Yefim is desperate to hire someone and will accept Cecelia, even though she’s not really interested nor qualified.