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Post Your Lesson 11 Assignment Here
Reply and post your assignment here.
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26 Replies
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Renee’s Turning Point 1 Scene
What I learned doing this assignment is my Act 1 turning point. I was torn between two scenes, but this lesson helped me decide which one would be a better turning point for my protagonist.
EXT. MIA’S APARTMENT BUILDING – NIGHT
Ian and Mia stroll down the street, neither in any hurry for the date to end. They reach Mia’s building and stop.
IAN
I had a really nice time tonight.
MIA
I did too. That shellfish risotto was to die for, and don’t even get me started on white chocolate bread pudding.
IAN
I’m glad you liked it.
MIA
Like it? I loved it! I am stuffed.
Ian chuckles.
IAN
I can’t believe you ate that much. Most girls would just order a salad and pick at it all night.
MIA
Yeah, Breanna kept telling me not to eat as much as I usually do, but I couldn’t help myself. I was so hungry.
IAN
I could tell. I’d really like to see you again.
MIA
I’d like that too.
IAN
Same time next week?
MIA
That should be fine. I’ll let you know if I need to reschedule.
IAN
Great.
There’s a slightly awkward pause, then Ian leans down and kisses Mia. The kiss doesn’t last long. Mia is the first to break contact. She leans back and looks him in the eyes.
MIA
I’ll talk to you later.
IAN
Definitely.
Mia pulls her keys out of her purse and disappears inside. Ian watches her get on the elevator, then turns and strolls back down the street.
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<div>Sam Reynolds – Turning Point and After Scene</div>
Paying attention to the character really not being able to go back at all help me a great deal in upping the stakes.
EXT. MEDICAL BUILDING – LATER
It has been raining. The hospital is deserted.
Nadine and Johnny hustle through the rain and into the building.
INT. MEDICAL BUILDING – CONTINUOUS
Nadine and Johnny are met by a female NURSE, JAIME, late 30S. Jamie gives Nadine a hug.
JAIME
How are you both? I just wanted to make sure you didn’t have any questions before this morning. We can talk if you would like.
Nadine and Johnny look to eachother.
JOHNNY
No. We are ok.
JAIME
Follow me then.
Jaime leads Nadine and Johnny down a long hallway.
INT. MEDICAL BUILDING HALLYWAY
This medical building attaches to the hospital beside it. The hallway is bright, white, long and deserted. The fluorescent lights buzz loudly.
Jaime leads Nadine and Johnny. They walk in silence.
And walk. And walk. And walk. Silence.
The walk is not easy for Nadine physically and emotionally.
INT. HOSPITAL – MORNING
The hallway turns and Nadine and Johnny find themselves in the hospital.
A custodian is finishing up the polishing of floors and dusting.
Jaime, Nadine and Johnny are met by DR. COOPER, female and in her 40s, and DR. BATES, male and in his 40s.
DR. COOPER
Good morning.
JAIME
Dr. Cooper, Dr. Bates. This is Nadine and Johnny.
DR. COOPER
Yes. Hello. Sorry we have to meet under these circumstances. Dr. Bryant is a good friend of mine. She wanted me to tell you she is thinking of you.
Jaime looks to Nadine and Johnny.
JAIME
Do you have any questions for me?
Nadine defers to Johnny.
JOHNNY
No. Thanks. We are fine.
JAIME
Very well. I will be in touch in a few days.
DR. BATES
Thank you Jaime.
Follow me Nadine and Johnny.
The doctors lead the couple to an exam room off to one side of the corridor.
INT. HOSPITAL ROOM – MORNING
Nadine sits alone behind a green curtain. She takes in her surroundings. Slowly she takes off her blouse and puts on the blue hospital gown. But before doing the gown up she takes one more look at her belly and caresses it. (looks in mirror)?
INT. HOSPITAL ROOM – CONTINUOUS
The green curtain is pulled back and Nadine lies on a hospital bed. Johnny stands behind her. An ultrasound machine and other equipment surround them. A large monitor hangs behind Nadine so she can’t see it. A standard wall clock ticks beside the monitor.
Nadine looks concerned. Johnny squeezes her hand.
Dr. Cooper looks to Dr. Bates who moves to lock the door.
DR. COOPER
Before we begin, I just need to ask you one last time: Is this what both of you want?
Nadine looks at Johnny. They hold hands.
NADINE
(whispering)
Baby?
Johnny nods to Nadine then to Dr. Cooper.
DR. COOPER
Alright. I also want to acknowledge that the two of you are so brave being here today. This is not easy.
Johnny kisses Nadine’s forehead.
In the background Dr. Bates prepares materials on a large metal tray.
DR. COOPER
This will not take long and I will walk you through each step. We will begin with an ultrasound.
Dr. Cooper lifts Nadine’s gown and moves the ultrasound instrument on her belly.
NADINE
(shivers)
It’s cold.
DR. COOPER
(to screen)
Good morning sweety.
The doctors look up to a monitor that is behind Johnny and Nadine. The baby is there, moving.
Johnny looks behind him at his baby. Nadine cranes her neck sideways to also catch a glimpse.
Dr. Bates approaches the bed with a metal tray.
Nadine looks to the tray. She is not terrified. She looks stoic. Curious. In shock?
NADINE
(to Johnny)
This is right, right?
JOHNNY
Yes.
DR.COOPER
(to Johnny)
Hold her hand.
(to Nadine)
This first needle is a strong sedative.
Dr. Bates rubs some numbing solution on Nadine’s belly.
DR. BATES
Take a deep breath and try not to move. You shouldn’t feel a thing.
NADINE
Will she?
DR. BATES
A small prick. Like a pinch.
Drs. Bates and Cooper look to the monitor.
DR.BATES
Left. A little more. Yes. Ok.
Dr. Bates inserts the needle and expunges its contents.
DR. COOPER
You ok?
NADINE
I felt her move a little.
DR. COOPER
Yes. That’s normal.
Dr. Cooper looks to the screen.
DR. COOPER
She is asleep now.
Nadine squirms a little. All of this feels so wrong.
Dr. Bates takes another needle. He looks to the monitor again.
This is not easy for the doctors at all. The stress of the situation is not lost on them.
DR.COOPER
This next one will stop the heart.
Dr. Cooper rubs more numbing solution on another part of Nadine’s belly.
Johnny caresses Nadine’s forehead.
Johnny looks up to the monitor. He sees his baby.
DR. COOPER
Try not to move honey.
Dr. Bates takes one more look at the monitor and slowly inserts the second needle BUT just as quickly pulls it out.
Nadine gasps.
JOHNNY
What happened?
DR. BATES
(wiping his brow)
Have to try again. It needs to be precise.
Dr. Cooper moves the ultrasound instrument around a bit more.
Dr. Bates takes a few deep breaths and readies himself once more.
Silence except for the hospital room’s clock. Tick. Tick.
DR. BATES
(this is not easy)
Almost. Ok.
DR. COOPER
(to Nadine)
Medicine is going in now. This will be over very soon.
Dr. Bates expunges the needle.
Nadine shivers. She has felt her baby go.
Dr. Cooper and Dr. Bates share a look.
DR. COOPER
She’s gone honey. I am so sorry.
The monitor behind Johnny goes dark.
CUT TO:
INT. HOSPITAL ROOM – DAY
Nadine opens the green curtain. She is finishing getting dressed.
DR. BATES
Has Dr. Bryant scheduled the birth?
JOHNNY
Yes, we will be back next week.
DR. COOPER
Again, I am so sorry. No matter what, you are parents. Do not let anyone tell you otherwise.
(takes Nadine’s hand)
These abnormalities happen. They are rare but they do happen. I promise we will do our best to find out everything we can.
Nadine and Johnny smile tentatively. The doctors exit down another corridor.
EXT. HOSPITAL – MORNING – DREAM
Nadine is standing at the edge of the hospital’s roof. She is contemplating jumping. She caresses her belly, take a breath and leaps.
EXT. HOSPITAL – DAY
WOMAN
Hi there.
Nadine is startled. A PREGNANT WOMEN is standing next to her.
WOMAN
Looks like we are due about the same time. Your first? It’s mine.
Nadine looks at her like a deer in headlights.
WOMAN
I am so scared of the birth. I don’t like pain.
A NURSE not too far away is smoking a cigarette.
WOMAN
Mine’s a girl. Do you know what yours is yet? It’s so exciting.
Nadine nods. Where is Johnny? He is taking forever.
The nurse, who was smoking, walks by the women and throws her still lit cigarette onto the pavement.
The women wait in silence. Nadine eyes the cigarette.
WOMAN
Have you thought of a name yet?
Nadine is past her breaking point. She bends down, grabs the butt and takes a long drag and blows the smoke at the pregnant lady. Feels so good.
HONK!
The woman can’t believe what Nadine has just done. She walks away in disgust.
HONK!
Johnny is there in the Toyota.
Johnny looks around the car.
JOHNNY
Forgot the bag. Be right back.
He runs inside.
Nadine lifts her head and looks to the roof of the hospital then back to the windshield.
EXT. TOYOTA – MORNING
The rain is coming down. The car’s wipers swish back and forth. Nadine watches the rain run down like tears.
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Assignment 11
What I learned is that I have thought through the story more clearly by outlining
Turning Point 1 Scenes
Turning point: Stepdad has to find lost ornament by stepping out of his comfort zone
Act 1 Outline
House Interior
Beginning: Stepdad is overwrapping Christmas ornaments as he takes them off tree adding tracking dot all the while boy is ridiculing him
Middle: Fire truck’s small ornament storage box falls under table.
End: Breaking News about escaped lion distracts everyone from tree. Mom gets called away to work. Stepdad thinking all ornaments are off tree, carries out the tree for garbage pickup. Dog finds empty box Boy accuses Stepdad of leaving ornament on tree on purpose.
Sidewalk/Street in front of House:
Beginning: Boy chasing garbage truck with ornament dangling off tree.
Middle: Stepdad comes running out stands there horrified at what he’s done
End: Stepdad realizes he has to do something to fix the problem
ACT 1
Interior Living room with Christmas Tree, TV Christmas show on, New Year’s Eve
Opening Scene: Closeup on hands of Stepdad applying tracking device locator he invented and then extremely carefully wrapping each ornament in bubble wrap and placing in storage box. Moves on to next ornament. Christmas music playing on TV show.
Widens scene to see grandpa asleep in chair watching Christmas movie. Mom is packing away ornaments in small boxes before putting them in large storage containers. Stepdad on ladder taking ornaments off tree and carefully wrapping them after applying tracker disc. Tells stepdad how much she appreciates him helping take ornaments off the tree. He mentions how much he hopes stepson likes the drone and maybe he’ll start to like him too. She mentions they need to get changed soon for the costume party.
Scene 2: Interior boy’s room. Can hear Christmas music in background, street outside boy’s window just before sunset
Boy is on zoom call with friend after completing assembly of the small drone gift from his stepdad. Operates drone in room for his friend to see. Friend says stepdad is cool but boy says no, he’s a nerd and can’t stand him. Boy picks up photo of his Dad and tells friend that his Stepdad is absolutely nothing like his dad. Boy glances out his bedroom window watching garbage trucks picking up discarded Christmas trees in front of houses on the opposite side of the street. Boy continues using drone in his room.
Scene 3: Living room with tree and TV
Mom calls out boy to help finish taking ornaments off tree reminding him they are leaving soon for NY Eve costume party and grandpa will watch him. Stepdad and Mom are now dressed as Indiana Jones with a whip and his female sidekick. Boy and dog come bouncing into room. Dog licks sleeping grandpa and wakes him. Boy starts taking ornaments off tree with Stepdad. Mom leaves living room for kitchen to get food ready for boy and grandpa before she leaves.
Boy ridicules/imitates Stepdad wrapping ornaments in front of mom as she’s leaving. Boy is muttering within earshot of his mom about what a jerk the Stepdad is. Boy complains they will never finish taking ornaments off the tree.
Stepdad reaches to remove the boy’s favorite ornament off the tree when the boy screams “STOP! Don’t touch that” The boy’s firefighter dad gave him the firetruck ornament the last Christmas before he died. Boy announces he’ll put the tracker dot on it while it’s hanging from the tree.
Stepdad freezes and looks at the mom.
Scene 4: Kitchen
She calls Stepdad into kitchen and explains quietly about the ornament.
Scene 5: Living room
To undermine Stepdad’s relationship with mom, when no one is looking the boy deliberately breaks an ornament the Stepdad had carefully wrapped to prove his overwrapping is stupid.
Parents come back into living room to keep removing ornaments and packing them away. Boy shows them one of the ornaments is broken. Boy says well all that stupid wrapping didn’t work, did it? Stepdad is suspicious about how it broke but says nothing.
Inciting Incident: As the boy watches, Mom kisses Stepdad on cheek telling how much she appreciates his effort even though one ornament broke. Stepdad smiles at mom pretending to be oblivious to the boy.
Transformational Events: Boy sees tracking device unit on table and while everyone is busy, he secretly removes the batteries from the device so it won’t work. He calls out to his Stepdad to prove his device works. Just as Stepdad grabs it and is about to turn it on a Breaking News story comes on.
Transformational Event 1: Not realizing she knocked the small box for the firetruck ornament under the table, Mom and everyone else all stop what they are doing, move over closer to the tv to watch the story about the escaped lion which was formerly a trained circus lion for a few minutes. Mom gets frantic call from local News studio where she is a producer to rush to the studio to cover the story but promises to be back in time for the party. Still in costume she races off for work promising to be back in time for the party unknowingly leaving the empty box under the table.
Boy starts playing fetch with the dog throwing a dog toy across the room. Dog toy lands on grandpa who once again fell asleep. Dog jumps on him to get toy.
Stepdad takes the rest of the ornaments down, wraps them and when he’s out of small storage boxes, he believes the job is done. He packs up the large ornament storage box with the small boxes, seals it up and removes the tree from its stand.
Scene 6: Street in front out house, dusk
Stepdad struggles to take the tree with the firetruck ornament still hanging on it out front for the garbage pickup just as he sees garbage truck is coming on their side of the street picking up discarded Christmas trees. Stepdad stands watching as garbage truck picks up their tree.
Scene 7: Living room
Inciting Incident: Boy throws toy and it lands under the table this time and the dog finds the empty firetruck box under the table and brings it out wanting to play. Boy realizes his favorite ornament must still be on the tree. He runs out front to see the garbage truck driving off with tree and ornament hanging off back.
Stepson screams at Stepdad furious and insulting him as incompetent and nerdy and leaving the ornament on the tree on purpose. Boy runs out of house.
Scene 8: Inside garbage truck, dusk
Driver has on headphones and is rocking out so he can’t hear the boy and keeps driving
Scene 9: Sidewalk and street in front of house, dusk
Feeling horrified Stepdad follows the boy out the front door. He’s standing there frozen in fear as he watches the boy chasing the garbage truck down the street screaming for the driver to stop. Stepdad realizes he must chase the garbage truck and get the ornament back or he will never be forgiven by his stepson and possibly his mom. Then he starts running too.
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What I learned doing this assignment is that these key scenes only total out at 6 pages to the end of ACT 1. There are some scenes still missing from the script, but it looks like I can spend more time with dialogue at this point.
Mark’s TURNING POINT 1 SCENES
ACT 1 BEAT SHEET
EXT. RESEARCH SHIP DECK – DAY
PLACEHOLDER; Enjoying her first impression of the arctic world. Two men talk to her and she reveals how inexperienced and vulnerable she is.
EXT. RESEARCH SHIP – DAY
TURNING POINT; The ship she boards sails into a storm and gets locked in the ice. The wind blows them away from land toward the North Pole.
ACT 1 OUTLINE
EXT SHIP DECK – DAY
BEGINNING: She enjoys her first ship voyage and looks in wonder at the icy world of Alaska
MIDDLE: A meteorologist and then a crewman try to chat her up.
END: She is polite and nervous. She asks questions. Each of them in turn tries to give her advice and warn her about the voyage, pegging her as a first-timer.
ACT 1 TURNING POINT
EXT/INT. RESEARCH SHIP – DAY
The weather is rough – wind and foaming waves. The ship encounters more ice in the water. Dozens of people line the rail, nervous at the weather. Victoria is unafraid.
MAN
I think its too late in the year. We may get caught.
WOMAN
Don’t say that. We’re close to Point Barrow.
MIDDLE: A violent wind hits the ship, driving ice floes against the hull. The ship sounds its horn in distress, scaring everyone. Victoria goes below to find out what is happening.
Victoria enters the hallway outside the bridge and overhears:
DRAKE (O.S.)
I’m in charge of the crew.
JENSEN (O.S.)
I’m tellin’ ya, until we drop the passengers at Barrow, all hands will be on duty shift.
DRAKE (O.S.)
My men aren’t lifeguards, they’re seamen.
CAMERA MOVES from the hallway into the bridge, revealing the men arguing. Jensen is busy with navigation instruments and Drake is in his face.
JENSEN
The crew is responsible for passenger safety. 80 extras on board, even temporary, means extra work – for us all.
DRAKE
Ahh, bull crap. This ain’t Cunard Lines.
JENSEN
And not one of your tramp steamers either.
CAMERA MOVES back into the hall with Victoria, listening.
JENSEN (O.S.)(CONT’D)
Go now. Off the bridge. Its up to you and your men to prevent panic.
I’m sending out a wireless distress call. We’re close to ice bound.
DRAKE
If you get her stuck, you’ll blow us to the North Pole.
Victoria is shocked, demoralized. As she walks down the hall she passes the radio room.
RADIO MAN
Ship in distress. Barrow station, we are 10 miles offshore. Wind is taking us into the northern current. Ice pack is forming. We can’t maneuver. Requesting the ice breaker at once. Urgent.
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Carissa’s Inciting Incident What I learned: I don’t have a reaction for the inciting incident. This is a true story. Will have to brainstorm.
1. Outline Key Scenes 2 & 3 for Act 1.
Ron has to call Maxine and tell her about all the lies.
Maxine wants to know everything. He better tell her what’s what.
2. Write your Inciting Incident scene.
Flashback: Ron meets former President Truman. Doesn’t know it yet, but will work undercover for the gov.
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Melanie’s Turning Point 1 Scenes
What I learned: how important it is to have not only an engaging turning point but one that means the protagonist can’t turn back! Thank you!
EXT. ROAD – CONTINUOUS
Star flies like a bat out of Hell and Sybil holds on tight to the horn of the saddle. They gallop down the dirt road though the darkness. But the tighter Sybil holds on to her, the faster Star runs.
SYBIL
For the love of God, Star! Slow down!
Sybil tries to lean back a bit, asking the horse to stop with her body position but Star continues to gallop. Her eyes are wild, belligerent.
They continue through the edge of town, the road only lit by the moonlight, and cross a wooden bridge spanning over a small creek. The wooden deck bends as they ride across.
SYBIL
Star! Slow down, what are you doing?
She squeezes her thighs against Star’s side but nothing will stop her. Sybil’s attention is drawn to the forest which seems to light up behind her, and she turns around to look behind them. Star finally turns and stops.
In the distance, Sybil GASPS to see the wooden bridge lit up in flames. The red light dances in her eyes.
SYBIL
The bridge. It’s gone.
She sees a figure in red standing in front of the bridge, feels his stare.
CUT TO:
EXT. BRIDGE – CONTINUOUS
Samuel stands next to the bridge, burning next to him, looking at Sybil. He smirks and hops back onto his horse, musket at the ready. He takes off towards her.
CUT TO:
EXT. ROAD – CONTINUOUS
Sybil grips the reigns with a quick squeeze with her heels.
SYBIL
Yah!
Star seems to connect with Sybil’s fear and they take off down the dirt road away from the threat.
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Pam’s Act 1 Turning Point scenes
INT. AIRPORT – NIGHT
Detective Stone walks through the airport with Henri. He is jumpy and looks around him frequently. Would he carry his hairstyling travel kit, along with his luggage? Show the Verizon ad with Conan King as the spokesperson? Henri sees and does a double-take?DETECTIVE STONE
(hands him an I.D. card)
Henry Shepherd, you’re on your way to Vermont. You’ll be safe there.
(sternly)
Trust only Cameron Parks, your new boss. Remember:
both MacKay — and whoever hired him — are still at large.HENRI
(in a hushed voice)
But what about _________? And how long do I have to stay in Vermont?DETECTIVE STONE
(gravely)
Until MacKay and his boss are incarcerted.Hands him a burner phone.
DETECTIVE STONE
Use this to reach out to me. And no one else.
Any contact with your friends and family puts them in jeopardy.
(makes eye contact)
They’ll be looking for you.Henri Berger boards the plane, now as Henry Shepherd.
INT. AIRPLANE – NIGHT
Henri tries to be calm as he sits on the plane. Relaxes his breathing and takes a sip of water. Looks at his new driver’s license.HENRI
(under his breath)
Henry Shepherd? Seriously?
Is that the best they could come up with?Buckles his seatbelt as the plane takes off. Reaches for the magazine in the seat pocket. From the cover, Bradley James’ handsome face smiles back at Henri.
INSERT: “Beautiful People” Magazine cover.
Headline: BRADLEY JAMES, SEXIEST HUMAN ALIVE!”Henri buries his face in his hands, stressed out again.
HENRI
(sadly, hushed voice)
Poor Bradley. Who’d want to kill you? -
Sandra’s Turning Point 1
What I learned doing this assignment is how to make the first turning point stronger, so that it locks the protagonist into the journey and main conflict with a point of no return.
INCITING INCIDENT: Lucy finds another dead lab mouse.
TURNING POINT 1: What happened to the lab mouse? Lucy does an autopsy. The mouse was poisoned with arsenic.
ACT 1 TURNING POINT SCENE
INT. UNIVERSITY RESEARCH LAB – DAY
BEGINNING: Lucy decides to do an autopsy. Discovers the mouse was poisoned. She doesn’t believe the results, so she runs them again. Results are positive for arsenic again.
MIDDLE: Furious, Lucy swears. Kicks the garbage can. Berates herself for not testing the previous dead mice for poison.
END: Lucy declares she’s going to find out who did this and why. Whoever it is, they won’t get away with it. She jumps to conclusions and thinks it must be her lab assistant.
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Clendon – Turning points – Day 11 Homework
[1] What I learned doing this assignment? How you build up your story/movie using these various screen-play writing elements. It is again all about structure.
[2] Outline your Act 1 Turning Point.
INT. HIGH-SCHOOL CLASSROOM – AM
BEGINNING: Klendon in class doodling, when the principle walks in and speaks w/ the teacher.
MIDDLE: Klendon steps out, into the hallway with the principle, encounters the lady detective.
END: Detective tells Klendon his mother’s been murdered. In denial, then shock, Klendon follows them to the principle’s office.
[3] Write your Act 1 Turning Point.
INT. HIGH-SCHOOL CLASSROOM – MONDAY MORNING
Seated at the back of the class, Klendon. He ignores the teacher droning on, DRAWS in his notebook instead.
INSERT – SKETCH
Pencil rendering of Gina: expression tender, bit mysterious.
BACK TO SCENE
Classroom door opens. Heads turn.
MR. JENKINS (school principal) enters, walks up to the teacher, speaks in a hushed voice. Thin, balding, and demonstrative, you either love Mr. Jenkins or hate the man.
TEACHER “Klendon Masters, principal Jenkins would like a word with you.”
No one makes a sound, all eyes are on Klendon as he leaves.
INT. SCHOOL HALLWAY – CONTINUOUS
Klendon and female DETECTIVE lock eyes.
KLENDON “What’s going on?”
DETECTIVE “I think you know.”
KLENDON “If this is about yesterday…”
JENKINS “Detective Ramirez is with homicide. I’m afraid there’s been an accident. Your mother’s…
KLENDON “My mother?! (shakes head no) There must be some mistake. No, no way, it’s not possible…say it’s not so.”
Detective notes boy’s shock as blood drains from his face.
RAMIREZ “Do you own a .9mm?”
KLENDON (disbelief) “OhmyGod, was she shot?!”
JENKINS (fumbles) “I’m sorry, she was a great lady.”
HOLD ON Klendon’s devastated expression, his mind locks on the verb was.
Everything turns surreal.
School bell RINGS.
Hallway fills with TEENS as classrooms empty. Bedlam ensues.
Flanked between principal Jenkins and detective Ramirez, Klendon walks without seeing or hearing the world around him.
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Lesson 11: Turning Points ACTS 1, 11, 111, IV
What I learned from this assignment is am very confused about scenes. I understand what turning points are. I can’t fit them in my scenes because of the confusion of the meddling moms. I think I need to do the outline by character rather than acts. I’m struggling. I am beginning to doubt my script topic.
Act I Turning Point
Scene 1:Travis Going back to the place of bad memories, hates women who lie
scene 1: Meddling Jill, setting up a surprise for Travis
Liz: Jake Jones whom she has avoided for many years is back in her life.
Meddling Annabelle: believes Jake and Liz belong together, provides the opportunity for Jake and Liz to re-connect
Jake Jones: He gets to sing and set up his plan to win Lizzy back,
The bellhop begins investigation on who is Sarah.
ACT II: Turning Point
Jake schemes to get Lizzy to sing with him at the lounge. Calls her Lizzy
Liz: tells a lie to Travis, is attracted to Travis, worried about the lie, gets caught in the lie
Travis understands the lie, forgives TP
Jake: hints at why his “plan” to get Liz back must work
Activities at the inn keep the Liz and Travis apart (Scavenger Hunt) (Santa visit) (Tree decorations)
Jake starts Plan B with Becca as a backup.
Meddling Annabelle sees Liz’s smiling face and thinks Liz is falling for Jake
Meddling Jill is joined by Marty as they attempt to bring Travis and Becca back together
Travis kisses Liz on the hayride. TP
Travis tells Jill he going to ask someone the big question TP for meddling Jill
Meddling misinterprets the question and plans the future wedding for Thursday
Act III
Bellhop gives his crime notes to security
The wedding to Travis and Becca: The big reveal Everything is revealed. TP for Annabelle, Travis, Becca, Meddling Mom Marty
Security solves the missing Sarah.
Travis leaves.
Jake loses when Liz says it is over.
Becca Loses
Meddling Moms learn their lesson
ACT IV Resolution
Liz thinks it is over, and learns the truth from meddling moms
Liz flies to Jacksonville and learns to trust men.
Travis learns to trust beautiful women
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I learned during this assignment how to spot the inciting incidents and turning points in my screenplay.
Ricardo Williams Turning Point Scene
INT. RECEPTION AREA OF CORPORATE OFFICE – DAY
Jolyn shows up at the corporate office elegantly dressed and a brief case containing what she believes will win her more shelf space with the corporation.
INT. CORPORATE OFFICE – DAY
After two days of trying to see managers, Jolyn gets an unexpected welcome from the receptionist who is impressed by Jolyn’s persistence and elegance. She informs Jolyn that the managers will see her.
INT. CORPORATE OFFICE – DAY
After receiving a cold reception from the managers, Jolyn makes a move that turns out to be the turning point in the Act. She opens a briefcase of cash and promise the managers that if they meet her demands, she will double sales.
INT. CORPORATE OFFICE OF SUPERMARKET – CHICAGO – DAY
JOLYN enters the corporate office for a major distributor supermarket. She is dressed in elegant business attire. She is carrying a black briefcase, and a work bag. She approaches the white female receptionist in her early fifties, who looks up at JOLYN with shock and disdain at the sight of a black woman in a white store.
JOLYN:
Good morning. I am the CEO of BALDWIN ICE CREAM COMPANY and I would like to speak to your manager.
RECEPTIONIST:
I am sorry, my manager is busy and won’t be able to see you.
JOLYN:
Can I make an appointment?
RECEPTIONIST:
We have no appointments available.
JOLYN:
Surely, you do have cancellations sometimes. Am I right?
RECEPTIONIST:
Very rarely.
JOLYN:
In that case, I will clear my schedule and sit here and wait for that rare occasion when a cancellation becomes available.
Jolyn makes herself comfortable in the waiting room. She takes out a book from her bag and proceeds to read. She pulls out a snack and eats it slowly, while drawing her briefcase closer. The receptionist feels uncomfortable but ignores Jolyn.
INT. CORPORATE OFFICE OF SUPER MARKET – DAY – CONTINUOUS
It is closing time at the office and Jolyn still has not seen the manager.
RECEPTIONIST:
Excuse me ma’am. Our office is about to close. You will have to leave now.
JOLYN:
No problem. Let your manager know that I will be back in the morning.
INT. CORPORATE OFFICE OF SUPERMARKET – DAY
Jolyn dressed in elegance and fashion is back at the corporate office of the supermarket. She is all smiles as she approaches the receptionist still carrying her black briefcase and work bag.
JOLYN:
I am sure, you know why I’m here. I’d like to talk to your manager.
RECEPTIONIST:
He is busy. He would not be able to see you.
JOLYN:
Again, no rush. I will make myself comfortable while I wait. Be sure to let him know that I am here to see him.
Jolyn sits in the waiting room. She takes out a book and a snack from her bag. She reads and munches on the snack. The hours go by and still no sign of the manager.
INT. CORPORATE OFFICE OF SUPER MARKET – DAY – CONTINUOUS
It is closing time and the receptionist confronts Jolyn.
RECEPTIONIST:
Ma’am, we are about to close.
JOLYN:
Not a problem. Do me a favor, won’t you please? I know this must be a very difficult thing for you to do, but tell your manager, I will be back to see him in the morning.
INT. CORPORATE OFFICE OF SUPER MARKET – DAY
Jolyn shows up for the third successive day to see the manager. She is elegantly dressed in a black dress, black stockings, black hat, and black shoes and carrying the black briefcase and work bag. The receptionist steps out to greet her. She is smiling and pleasant a sharp contrast from the previous days.
RECEPTIONIST:
MRS. ROBICHAUX, in all my time as a receptionist, I have never met anyone who dresses as elegant as you do and shows the kind of persistence and determination you do. Today, you are in luck. My manager will see you. Come on in.
Jolyn walks into a room where 10 white horses are posing in sitting posture and then as her eyes zero in on her shock, she realizes they are actually 10 white men eagerly sitting around with curious eyes. The look of surprise on their faces to see a black woman in their office. She smiles.
MANAGER 1:
Is it MS. ROBICHAUX? How can we help you?
JOLYN:
I am the new owner and CEO of BALDWIN ICE CREAM CO. (JOLYN gives one of her charming smiles, her eyelashes blinking rapidly). We have improved our product quality, delivery service and our sales. I will like more space in your freezers.
There is laughter all around.
MANAGER 1:
Are you kidding me? Is this a joke?
The managers all have smirks on their faces.
MANAGER 2:
Who does she think she is?
MANAGER 3:
HARRIET TUB-TUB-TUBMAN? (Mocking stuttering)
MANAGER 4:
Are you looking for the Underground Railroad? Are you lost? (Laughter all around).
JOLYN:
I am serious. Here are our sales figures and here are our projections. If you grant us more space, I can guarantee you we will increase our sales by 50 percent within a year. Let us make more money together. Do we have a deal?
The managers laugh even harder.
MANAGER 1:
Didn’t Baldwin file for bankruptcy?
JOLYN:
Actually, under my leadership, we paid all our debtors and came out of bankruptcy. (Jolyn is smiling and blinking rapidly in a charming way).
MANAGER 2:
Are you affiliated with JESSE JACKSON’S Rainbow PUSH, that group that has been picketing our stores? Because we already house your products. What more do you want?
JOLYN:
I
need more space in your freezers. I promise our products sell on its own. Just
give us the space.MANAGER 1:
Ain’t going to happen. Sorry.
JOLYN:
If I return next year and I can show you a 50% increase in sales. Would you give us the extra space?
MANAGER 1:
(The managers in the room laugh out loud).
Please show MS. ROBICHAUX the exit.
JOLYN:
Wait.
She puts one hand up, halting the approaching managers as they move to toss her outside. They pause. She places the brief on its side and opens it exposing a briefcase full of cash.
JOLYN (CONT’D):
I promise you that within a year, I’ll be back with not one, but two briefcases and in return all I ask for is unlimited space in your freezers.
The managers look confused. Some are rubbing their lips. There is an uncomfortable pause of silence in the room.
MANAGER 1:
Deal. If you can double your sales, we will give you unlimited space in our freezers.
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Dale’s Turning Point 1 Scenes:
What I learned from this assignment is how scenes I had formed in my mind fit into the overall structure of the screenplay.
Sc 1: We see the contrast between Elizabeth’s traditional style of teaching and Richard’s unconventional style.
Sc. 2: Elizabeth drags Richard on carpet for his teaching style. First glimmers of an attraction between them. Although it is subtle, the seed has been planted and there will be no going back.
INT. STANTON UNIVERSITY – LECTURE HALL – DAY / RICHARD’S CLASSROOM – DAY
Beginning: Elizabeth lectures about Plato’s diagram of the divided line, emphasizing his mistrust of the senses.
Middle: Richard in his discussion group presents a different take on the divided line – challenging Plato’s ideas of where truth is discovered – he brings up art, the heart, and sex.
End: Richard’s students respond enthusiastically with questions and Richard seeks to connect philosophy to their every day lives.
INT. ELIZABETH’S UNIVERSITY OFFICE – DAY
Beginning: Richard welcomes Elizabeth to his office. Offers her juice and a bagel. She wants to get down to brass tacks.
Middle: Elizabeth explains why he needs to reign in some of his more student-friendly ways of teaching. His passion needs to be contained.
End: Richard says he didn’t expect this from the Elizabeth Drewer whose work he has read and admired. He asks if her passion has been contained.
DRAFT OF SCENES:
INT. STANTON UNIVERSITY – LECTURE HALL – DAY
The camera scans the lecture hall, the students are taking careful notes as Elizabeth, at her lectern, lectures:
ELIZABETH
When it came to knowledge, Plato had what you might call a healthy distrust of the senses. They were unreliable at best and the world that they perceived was one that was in a constant state of flux. So he devised his famous diagram of the divided line…
INTERCUT TO:
INT. STANTON UNIVERSITY – RICHARD’S CLASSROOM – DAY
Student chairs have been gathered into a semi-circle and Richard stands in the middle referring to a white board, which has a diagram of Plato’s divided line.
The students are laughing and attentive as Richard dances, animated, in the center, using a long stick to point to the diagram as reference. There are women students, in particular who are focused on Richard’s every word (and shall we say… every move?)
RICHARD
Okay. Dr. Drewer has introduced you to Plato’s divided line. Let’s go over it: Reason at the top. Then mathematical and scientific understanding, then belief and perception and bringing up the rear, conjecture and imagination.
INTERCUT TO:
INT. STANTON UNIVERSITY – LECTURE HALL
ELIZABETH
Plato was after the real thing, Truth with a capital T, that reality that transcends the world, that is, in fact, unchanging and eternal.
INTERCUT TO:
INT. STANTON UNIVERSITY – RICHARD’S CLASSROOM – DAY
RICHARD
So… I don’t think Shakespeare and Picasso would be too happy being relegated to the lowest rung of knowledge, but there you are. Plato argues there’s only one real way to truth and that’s through reason. All the other levels are inferior in some way. Okay, so… what do you all think? Do you need to shut out this world and yourself in pure thought to find truth? Or is it possible to find it in something else? What about… a kick-ass sunset? …a blues riff by B.B. King? …the mystery of a subatomic particle? The question is: Does truth just happen here?:
(points to head)
Or could it also happen here?
(points to eyes)
Or… here?
(points to heart)
Or even here?
(points to genitals.)
The hands of students shoot up, including that of SARAH REEVES, 19, and TED JONES, 20. Richard points to Ted.
TED
So, you’re saying philosophy has something to do with, like, the shit I deal with every day?
RICHARD
I’m absolutely saying that. I mean, we think that these were a bunch of dudes who lived a long time ago and have no relevance to today. But, guys, these are really eternal questions. I mean, we haven’t been on this planet all that long, micro seconds, really, so we’re still dealing with the same damn things they were.
SARAH
Yeah, like who to be friends with? Or who to believe when they feed you a line?
She gives a pointed glance at Ted. ANNABELLE CRIOLI, an intense 19-year-old speaks up:
ANNABELLE
Or how to find meaning in this crazy existence?
RICHARD
Yes, philosophy is all about that – from the daily to the universal.
TED
Will it help me pass my Calc exams?
RICHARD
Ah well, that’s where it might fall short. Though Pythagoras probably would have been able to lend a hand, if Calculus had been invented back then. Okay… getting back to Plato…
INT. STANTON UNIVERSITY – RICHARD’S OFFICE
Richard sits behind his desk, reading student papers. There is a light knock on the door.
RICHARD
Come in.
Elizabeth enters.
RICHARD
Well! Hello, Professor!
He clears off a chair piled with books.
RICHARD
Uh… sorry… Here, sit, sit down!
Elizabeth sits.
RICHARD
I’m almost finished with these papers. If you were wondering…
ELIZABETH
No, that’s all right. You still have time. Actually, I stopped by to–.
RICHARD
Oh, God. Where are my manners! Can I offer you something to drink? I usually keep some juice here…
He opens a drawer, pulls out some juice.
RICHARD
Or… how about…
He reaches into drawer again.
RICHARD
…a bagel?!
He slaps a bag of bagels on the desk.
ELIZABETH
No, nothing. Really.
(beat)
Look, Richard. I need to discuss something with you.
RICHARD
Great. Shoot.
ELIZABETH
Well, it has to do with… your discussion group.
RICHARD
Okay…
ELIZABETH
Richard. Look. You came here with a reputation for two things. Brilliance and iconoclasm. While some leeway can be allowed in the latter for the sake of the former, as both the professor of this course and as your advisor, I would ask you to rein things in.
RICHARD
What things are you talking about?
ELIZABETH
Oh, comparing Blaise Pascal to the Tao te Ching…
RICHARD
That was Zen Buddhism, Taoism was Plato.
ELIZABETH
Or equating drug use with a search for the transcendent!
RICHARD
Well that’s what it is, distorted though it may be.
ELIZABETH
And then there’s your rather frequent tendency to appeal to the more… romantic, not to speak of… sexual urgings of the students.
RICHARD
But that’s because that’s practically all they think about! Why not show them even those things connect to philosophy. If I’m going to get to these kids, I need to do it on their own turf!
ELIZABETH
Which just strikes me as you dropping down to their level, rather than expecting them to rise to yours.
RICHARD
I’m still giving them all the material from the course, I’m just throwing in a little extra!
ELIZABETH
Yes, well, it’s that extra I’m worried about! You are… how shall I put this? Not much older than these kids. Your students, especially your female students may start to get… ideas about you.
RICHARD
Ideas?
ELIZABETH
You are an attractive young man.
RICHARD
Thank you.
ELIZABETH
I’m not stating that as compliment, just a fact. Unless you make lines clear between yourself and your students…
RICHARD
I believe I am.
ELIZABETH
…you could be creating potential problems for yourself.
RICHARD
Like…?
ELIZABETH
Richard, you are not naive, I’m sure you know what I’m saying.
RICHARD
Yes, okay. But I think of a TA as a type of intermediary between the professor and the students. Thus I need to speak their language.
ELIZABETH
True. But go too far in that direction, and the lines between you and them start to blur. That used to be more allowable, but given the times we live in…
RICHARD
Right.
Richard looks downcast.
ELIZABETH
I know you must feel I’m restraining you terribly…
RICHARD
It is a bit of a straight jacket, yes. And I actually didn’t think that here, working with you…
ELIZABETH
What?
RICHARD
Well, forgive me. But… this just isn’t the Elizabeth Drewer I expected.
(off her look)
What I’m saying is… when I read your work… there is something in your work… It’s this… passion. That always made me feel like, …if you strip away our different approaches to the subject, our different cultures, we were… kindred spirits.
ELIZABETH
…Ah.
RICHARD
Sometimes you can’t help but form a picture of a person whose work you admire.
ELIZABETH
Yes, I see.
(beat)
Well, I’m sorry to have disappointed you.
RICHARD
I didn’t say that.
ELIZABETH
(beat)
No. Well… naturally, I’m flattered that you felt a connection to my work.
(Richard smiles)
But… it still comes down to the fact that you’re… inexperienced in this world of academia! Believe me, passion… is not the only thing you’re going to need to survive in it. That passion has to be appropriately contained.
RICHARD
Has yours?
ELIZABETH
Excuse me?
RICHARD
Has yours been appropriately contained?
ELIZABETH
(beat)
Richard, you have this disconcerting habit of… turning an argument back on a person. I do wish you’d take this conversation seriously.
RICHARD
Oh, I do. Very.
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Dave Holloway’s Turning Point 1 Scenes
What I learned doing this assignment is to increase the intensity and the finality of the protagonist’s actions in a scene that he cannot undo.
INT. AIRPLANE – DAY
BEGINNING: Nigel and Roger walk on board the plane that will take them from London to Los Angeles, where Nigel will try to rescue Livia.
MIDDLE: During the first half of the flight, they criticize Britain’s Prime Minister, who had declared himself unable to help Nigel, and discuss what steps they might be able to take to free Livia: an appeal, if possible, to the world’s nations; a legal challenge; help from others in Shiloh; or criminal actions to get her out of the prison.
END: The pilot announces that the nation-states along the East Coast have declared their air space inviolate, and the plane will thus have to land in New York. As they approach New York, they notices a fighter jet flying beside their plane, which has been sent to ensure they do not cross into the air space of the eastern states. The plane lands in New York.
INT. AIRPLANE – DAY
Nigel and Roger walk down the aisle of the plane and find their seats. They look at each other.
NIGEL: How do you feel, mate? My stomach’s in knots.
ROGER: Still pissed that the Prime Minister couldn’t help. I didn’t vote for that sod, but he’s turned out to be more worthless than even I thought.
NIGEL: Yeah, not wanting to jeopardize trade relations was a pathetic excuse.
ROGER: Public should demand medical evidence that he possesses even one testicle.
The plane rushes down the runway and lifts up into the air.
NIGEL: No going back, now.
ROGER: Bastards can’t kidnap an English citizen and hold her on false charges. It would become an international incident. The PM might lack balls, but the English people don’t. We’ll show them they’d be better off to let her go.
NIGEL: She got through to me from the prison. Which means we can communicate with England once we’re there. We’ll tell the bloody press what they’re doing, and the story will be in every paper in Britain. Then other countries will pick it up.
ROGER: You’re a damn good lawyer. Might be able to free her with some sort of legal action.
NIGEL: I doubt it, Rog. In fascist states, the courts are generally there for show.
The pilot’s voice comes over the intercom into the cabin.
PILOT: Ladies and gentlemen, the states along the East Coast of North America have just declared their air space inviolate. We have been ordered to land in New York. Any passengers wishing to return to London will receive free tickets. We sincerely apologize for this misfortune.
Nigel and Roger look at each other, astonished.
NIGEL: That’s a kick in the teeth.
Roger gazes out the windows on the left side of the plane.
ROGER: Appears we’ve got company. And it looks rather serious.
Nigel looks across at the windows and sees a fighter jet flying alongside their plane.
NIGEL: I’ll be damned. Looks like he’s making sure we follow directions.
They feel the plane start to descend.
ROGER: How in hell do we cross the goddamned continent, now?
NIGEL: My God – Livia said she might only have two weeks left in that prison.
Nigel appears utterly crestfallen.
-
Subject line: (Mary Ellevold’s) Turning Point 1 Scenes
What I learned doing this assignment is…I have several turning point scenes to choose from:
INT. PSYCH OFFICE – 2ND FLOOR
Jon moves past the receptionist desk and sees the office. The door is ajar. Ignoring the sign, he pushes on the door and slips into the room.
JON
Hello? Hello? Anybody here?
It is dark. He hears a low growl, a hiss, it is a white Persian cat, PHOEBE. There is a primeval scream as the attack cat leaps off a file cabinet and onto his backpack. Jon screams, and runs in circles, trying to dislodge the cat, who is swiping her claws at Gerbie while scratching and biting Jon.
Jon is mawled. After a battle, he dislodges the cat. Gerbie is barely hanging on, swinging back and forth with the backpack as Jon runs out the door.
-
Janeen’s First Turning Point
What I learned doing this assignment is that some scenes write themselves and others have to be tortured onto the page. The quality is 20% either way. 🙂
INT. JYM’S KITCHEN – EVENING
A printed copy of Banting’s Letter on Corpulence is on JYM’s counter. Several bags of food are on the counter. As she unpacks the food, she chats with MARTA.
JYM
I’ve got a beef roast that should dome a couple of days, some nice trout for tonight — I’ll cook both fillets tonight and have one for lunch tomorrow. I wonder if fish reheats well?
MARTA
I’ve never had good luck with that.It’s better in a salad.
JYM
Bacon for breakfast — I’ll cook itall tomorrow so I don’t have to deal with bacon grease every day. I wonder if these breakfast biscuits are what he would have had? He’s British so
a biscuit could have been anything.
MARTA
Check Mrs. Beeton’s cookbook.JYM
Whose?
MARTA
It was a cookbook put out in 1840.You can find it free online. It has tons of recipes from that time period so you should be able to find something appropriate.
JYM And it’s free?
MARTA
Free. Keep in mind, when they sayflour, they mean stone ground whole wheat.
(MORE)
10.
MARTA (CONT’D)
White flour like we have today wouldhave been fancy cake flour back then and may not have been available at all. The average housewife wouldn’t have been able to afford it.
JYM
Okay, I’ll look up recipes forbiscuits and rusks.
MARTA
Where are the vegetables? You mostlybought meat.
JYM
If you read what he said he ate andlook at the total amounts of solids on the next page, it looks like fruit and vegetables were more like garnishes than big servings.
MARTA
None at breakfast. Five to six ouncesof meat, an ounce of dry toast and a total of 8 ounces of solids for the meal. That means he would only eat one to two ounces of fruit or vegetables. That’s nothing.
It’s a
You’re
fiber?
JYM garnish.
MARTA
right. Where did he get hisJYM
Must have been the bread, biscuitand rusks.
MARTA
Definitely use stone ground flourand make them yourself.
JYM
He has two or three ounces of fruitfor tea. I’m thinking that’s an afternoon snack now.
MARTA
It is here. In England, who knows.MARTA (CONT’D)
Wow! He’s drinking a LOT of wine.11.
JYM
That’s what I thought at first too,but if you look a couple of paragraphs later where he talks about the Balm of Life, he tells how much solid and liquid he has. A glass of wine back then must have only been about 3 ounces. He wasn’t drunk all the time.
They laugh at that and continue to put away the food.
INT. DOC’S OFFICE – DAY
In a montage of attentively listening clients, BEN is giving them all the same speech about diet and exercise. He quotes the ADA diet.
BEN
All of this information is availableon the National Institute of Health’s National Institute of Diabetes and Digestive and Kidney Diseases website. Go there, read up.
BEN (CONT’D)
If you don’t get your diabetes undercontrol, you’ll find yourself declining over time. It may be a slow decline or it could go quickly. There’s not way to tell how an individual will progress.
BEN (CONT’D)
The website has a weight managementsection. Click on that and then look for the Body Weight Planner. I’m not asking you to crash diet. In fact, that could send your medications into a tailspin. Plan to lose one to two pounds per week which means you’ll need to eat 750 to 1000 calories less per day than you burn. The Body Weight Planner will help you calculate that.
BEN (CONT’D)
I don’t recommend any specific dietto most of my patients because people have different tastes, preferences and family traditions. Try to eat healthy and stick to whatever diet you choose. Do I have your commitment?
12.
We cycle through some of the patients as they all nod or say yes.
Ben is alone in his office and he traces the Glucose Management line on his wall chart. An insulin pump is about 2/3 of the way to the bottom of the chart. He notes it and shakes his head in sadness.
INT. JYM’S HOUSE – NIGHT
CAM and JYM are in her office after the gym closes. Jym is pondering her white board in her office.
JYM
I’ve been on the Banting diet fortwo weeks. The first week, I drank glasses of wine with each meal where Banting did. Where he would have two, I’d have one – and by one glass I mean three ounces so not enough to move the Breathalyzer by much.
CAM
Did you lose weight?JYM
A few pounds, exactly the way thepamphlet said I would. CAM
So?
JYM
So I felt like I was about to bingeevery afternoon after Tea.
CAM You drink tea?
JYM
No, it’s like an after school snack.Two to three ounces of fruit and a rusk or two.
CAM What’s a rusk?
JYM
Very dry bread, but small.CAM
Two to three ounces of fruit isnothing.
13.
JYM
It’s about two thirds of an orangeor a few grapes or part of an apple. CAM
Nothing.
JYM
Why do people binge?CAM
I don’t know. I eat all day everyday and I look like this. JYM
Show off!
INT. BEN’S BEDROOM – NIGHTBEN and ASHLEY are getting changed for bed, but stop for a quick canoodle.
ASHLEY
I’ve been so tired this week. Ithought it was just the holidays last week, but I’ve been exhausted all week.
She rests her head on his shoulder and he caresses her shoulder.
BEN
How have your numbers been?ASHLEY
Better than they were after eatingat hour mom’s over the holidays, but not good.
He holds her close, looking worried.
ASHLEY (CONT’D)
Ben, is there anything we can do?He thinks long and hard, then speaks.
BEN
I think we’ll get you an insulinpump. That may help. Ashley pulls back, startled.
14.
ASHLEY
You always said they were fordiabetics that were on their way downhill in a hurry. Are you saying –
He holds her close. Fiercely.
BEN
No. No, honey. I’m not saying that.I just think one of the newer pumps could level out your insulin levels so you’re not so tired all the time.
He kisses her hair, cheeks and neck. She looks at him with complete trust.
ASHLEY You’re sure?
BEN
I’m sure.
He holds her close again, but tears come to his eyes. INT. BEN’S BEDROOM – NIGHT -
Fred’s Turning Point 1 Scene
What I learned from this assignment is that normally the protagonist has no choice but to reluctantly sign off onto the journey. My turning point was more self driven, and I am wondering if I may have to change that later.
EXT. HOTEL BUFFET – DAY
Beginning: Jin and his relatives are celebrating his birthday/college acceptance, etc. They ask where his mother is and Han comes up with an excuse.
Middle: Jin sees a female employee drop a plate of glass noodles just like him. The plate shatters and a male manager comes over to ream her out, while putting on a faux apology to the customers. (Or another married couple)
End: Jin’s grandmother makes a comment or gives him advice about marriage? – I wish I get to see you get married before I leave this world.
EXT. PARK – DAY
Beginning: Jin meets up with his Mother. She looks completely different. Years younger with her hair and attire, no longer shackled by the burdens of marriage.
Middle: Mother explains that his father has a history with cheating. First found out when Jin was a child. She took him and ran off to America. Agreed to keep it under the lid while you were growing up. But now you’re an adult and you should know.
End: Mother tells Jin not to get married too early. She regrets marrying young. Graduated top of her class and never got to use her degree or work. All his in laws wanted was an industrious housewife.
INT. MOTHER’S APARTMENT – DAY
Beginning: Mother gives a brief tour of her new place. Tidy but tiny. Not sure what she wants to use the extra room for.
Middle: Jin asks if she doesn’t want any revenge? Mother doesn’t want her business to interfere with his life.
End: Jin asks if he can move into the spare bedroom.
Point of no return: Jin moves in with his Mother so they can plot a revenge on his father.
-
DeRuve’s Turning Point 1 Scenes
What I learned doing this assignment is tough to pinpoint. I’m actually feeling like I’m in a slump right now. While I am trying to accept 20% quality, I am losing confidence with it for some reason.
EXT./INT. PARISI FAMILY HOUSE/JOEY’S CAR – EVENING
Joey is waiting in his car outside the house, picks up Rhino when he leaves. He reveals that he knows Rhino let Gil off with a warning and explains how detrimental to the business that is.
He also explains an upcoming fight for Thursday with a 19 year old kid, he’s filling in for an injured fighter. They’re confident because the kid only has two professional fights. The fix is in for a second round knockout, Rhino agrees.
Scene –
EXT. PERISI FAMILY HOME – DAY
A murdered out Cadillac idles across the street when Rhino exits the front door with Cannoli. He notices right away, and approaches. The black window rolls down revealing Joey.
JOEY
Let’s go for a ride.
(beat)
Leave that stinkin’ dog.
RHINO
Sure.
Rhino retreats to the house tying Cannoli to the post.
INT. JOEY’S CAR – DAY
Rhino rides in back with Joey, sitting in an long silence.
JOEY
In twenty-four years y’never disrespected me. But, this business with Gil needs to be addressed.
RHINO
Joey, I didn’t mean nothin’ by it.
JOEY
Let me ask you, how does it make me look when my right hand is out there lettin’ people walk?
RHINO
I, uh…
JOEY
How?!
RHINO
I don’t know.
JOEY
Like a faggoty ass little bitch!
RHINO
I’m sorry, Joey.
JOEY
Y’er not goin’ soft on me, are ya?
RHINO
C’mon, I’m Rhino.
(beat)
I was just thinkin’–
JOEY
Well, stop. It ain’t y’er job to think. It’s y’er job to crack heads open. Are we clear?
RHINO
Yes, very clear.
JOEY
We got a fight Sunday.
RHINO
This Sunday?
Joey looks at him painfully.
JOEY
Is that alright with you, huh? You up for it, ya fuckin’ animal.
(beat)
It’s some nineteen year old kid in his third fight. Y’er fillin’ in for the bum who sprained his ankle in training.
The long silence returns.
-
Assignment 11
What I learned is that I have thought through the story more clearly by outlining
Turning Point 1 Scenes
Turning point: Stepdad has to find lost ornament by stepping out of his comfort zone
Act 1 Outline
House Interior
Beginning: Stepdad is overwrapping Christmas ornaments as he takes them off tree adding tracking dot all the while boy is ridiculing him
Middle: Fire truck’s small ornament storage box falls under table.
End: Breaking News about escaped lion distracts everyone from tree. Mom gets called away to work. Stepdad thinking all ornaments are off tree, carries out the tree for garbage pickup. Dog finds empty box Boy accuses Stepdad of leaving ornament on tree on purpose.
Sidewalk/Street in front of House:
Beginning: Boy chasing garbage truck with ornament dangling off tree.
Middle: Stepdad comes running out stands there horrified at what he’s done
End: Stepdad realizes he has to do something to fix the problem
ACT 1
Interior Living room with Christmas Tree, TV Christmas show on, New Year’s Eve
Opening Scene: Closeup on hands of Stepdad applying tracking device locator he invented and then extremely carefully wrapping each ornament in bubble wrap and placing in storage box. Moves on to next ornament. Christmas music playing on TV show.
Widens scene to see grandpa asleep in chair watching Christmas movie. Mom is packing away ornaments in small boxes before putting them in large storage containers. Stepdad on ladder taking ornaments off tree and carefully wrapping them after applying tracker disc. Tells stepdad how much she appreciates him helping take ornaments off the tree. He mentions how much he hopes stepson likes the drone and maybe he’ll start to like him too. She mentions they need to get changed soon for the costume party.
Scene 2: Interior boy’s room. Can hear Christmas music in background, street outside boy’s window just before sunset
Boy is on zoom call with friend after completing assembly of the small drone gift from his stepdad. Operates drone in room for his friend to see. Friend says stepdad is cool but boy says no, he’s a nerd and can’t stand him. Boy picks up photo of his Dad and tells friend that his Stepdad is absolutely nothing like his dad. Boy glances out his bedroom window watching garbage trucks picking up discarded Christmas trees in front of houses on the opposite side of the street. Boy continues using drone in his room.
Scene 3: Living room with tree and TV
Mom calls out boy to help finish taking ornaments off tree reminding him they are leaving soon for NY Eve costume party and grandpa will watch him. Stepdad and Mom are now dressed as Indiana Jones with a whip and his female sidekick. Boy and dog come bouncing into room. Dog licks sleeping grandpa and wakes him. Boy starts taking ornaments off tree with Stepdad. Mom leaves living room for kitchen to get food ready for boy and grandpa before she leaves.
Boy ridicules/imitates Stepdad wrapping ornaments in front of mom as she’s leaving. Boy is muttering within earshot of his mom about what a jerk the Stepdad is. Boy complains they will never finish taking ornaments off the tree.
Stepdad reaches to remove the boy’s favorite ornament off the tree when the boy screams “STOP! Don’t touch that” The boy’s firefighter dad gave him the firetruck ornament the last Christmas before he died. Boy announces he’ll put the tracker dot on it while it’s hanging from the tree.
Stepdad freezes and looks at the mom.
Scene 4: Kitchen
She calls Stepdad into kitchen and explains quietly about the ornament.
Scene 5: Living room
To undermine Stepdad’s relationship with mom, when no one is looking the boy deliberately breaks an ornament the Stepdad had carefully wrapped to prove his overwrapping is stupid.
Inciting Incident: As the boy watches, Mom kisses Stepdad on cheek telling how much she appreciates his effort even though one ornament broke. Stepdad smiles at mom pretending to be oblivious to the boy.
Transformational Events: Boy sees tracking device unit on table and while everyone is busy, he secretly removes the batteries from the device so it won’t work. He calls out to his Stepdad to prove his device works. Just as Stepdad grabs it and is about to turn it on a Breaking News story comes on.
Transformational Event 1: Not realizing she knocked the small box for the firetruck ornament under the table, Mom and everyone else all stop what they are doing, move over closer to the tv to watch the story about the escaped lion which was formerly a trained circus lion for a few minutes. Mom gets frantic call from local News studio where she is a producer to rush to the studio to cover the story but promises to be back in time for the party. Still in costume she races off for work promising to be back in time for the party unknowingly leaving the empty box under the table.
Boy starts playing fetch with the dog throwing a dog toy across the room. Dog toy lands on grandpa who once again fell asleep. Dog jumps on him to get toy.
Stepdad takes the rest of the ornaments down, wraps them and when he’s out of small storage boxes, he believes the job is done. He packs up the large ornament storage box with the small boxes, seals it up and removes the tree from its stand.
Scene 6: Street in front out house, dusk
Stepdad struggles to take the tree with the firetruck ornament still hanging on it out front for the garbage pickup just as he sees garbage truck is coming on their side of the street picking up discarded Christmas trees. Stepdad stands watching as garbage truck picks up their tree.
Scene 7: Living room
Inciting Incident: Boy throws toy and it lands under the table this time and the dog finds the empty firetruck box under the table and brings it out wanting to play. Boy realizes his favorite ornament must still be on the tree. He runs out front to see the garbage truck driving off with tree and ornament hanging off back.
Stepson screams at Stepdad furious and insulting him as incompetent and nerdy and leaving the ornament on the tree on purpose. Boy runs out of house.
Scene 8: Inside garbage truck, dusk
Driver has on headphones and is rocking out so he can’t hear the boy and keeps driving
Scene 9: Sidewalk and street in front of house, dusk
Feeling horrified Stepdad follows the boy out the front door. He’s standing there frozen in fear as he watches the boy chasing the garbage truck down the street screaming for the driver to stop. Stepdad realizes he must chase the garbage truck and get the ornament back or he will never be forgiven by his stepson and possibly his mom. Then he starts running too.
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This reply was modified 4 years, 1 month ago by aleta rafton.
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John T’s Turning Point 1 Scenes
What I learned doing this assignment is that the TP 1 must be like entering a room and the door closing behind you – there’s no turning back.
INT. AIRPLANE – DAY
Clare sits in the aisle seat, buried in a magazine. Rod summons a flight attendant.
ROD
Two glasses of champagne.
CLARE
Oh, I don’t care for any.
Rod locks eyes with the flight attendant. Holds up two fingers.
ROD
Two.
FLIGHT ATTENDANT
I’ll see what I can do.
ROD
You should loosen up a little.
CLARE
You know I hate flying.
Rod chuckles.
ROD
The best is yet to come, sweetheart.
EXT. HELIPORT – DAY
Half a dozen passengers walk the tarmac. Clare gazes up at the chopper like it’s the guillotine.
CLARE
I can’t do this.
ROD
Too late now. Do I have to carry you on?
INT. HELICOPTER – DAY
Everyone but Clare cranes for a better look outside. It’s a gorgeous day, azure waters, clear skies. Clare sits as far away from the doors as possible. Eyes closed, head in hands like she’s in a deep meditation.
Suddenly, the chopper lurches left and drops a hundred feet in a few seconds. Everyone screams.
INT. COCKPIT – DAY
PILOT
We just lost oil pressure. We’re gonna gyro in. EVERYBODY HOLD TIGHT. WE’RE GOING TO ROTOR DOWN TO THE HELIPAD!
Everyone grabs on to something.. A heavyset woman prays. A young couple grab each other. For once, Rod is just as terrified as Clare.
PILOT
HOLD ON. HERE WE GO!!
We see out the window. There’s a giant H on a concrete pad getting bigger fast.
PILOT
BRACE FOR IMPACT! BRACE FOR IMPACT!
The pilot pulls back smoothly on the collective.
EXT. LANDING PAD – DAY
The helicopter’s descent slows and touches down gently.
INT. HELICOPTER – DAY
Cheers. Applause. Clare recovers. Rod throws up.
PILOT
Sorry about that folks. We’re down for repairs. Enjoy your stay.
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Gayle’s Turning Point 1 Scenes
What I learned doing this assignment is theme of the story underscores all of these pivotal moments naturally, so I must be on the right track.
OUTLINE ACT 1 TP
INT. BASEMENT STUDIO
Beginning – Rick is called out by a viewer over the viral video at Amityville and read as a loser with no career and a fraud
RICK: Let’s take another call. We have DoomRaider69. Hi, you’re on with Rick.
DOOMRAIDER69: I saw that Amityville panel. What a putz man, are you even a real ghost hunter? Cause you don’t know shit about what’s going on.
RICK: Well, thanks for your call, DoomRaider. I think I know what you’re referring to. I was happy to participate in the Amityville anniversary panel and I was making a point about (SOME REAL POINT)
DOOMRAIDER69: (COUNTERS WITH A REAL CRITICISM OF AMITYVILLE HORROR STORY)
Rick indicates for Samantha to save him.
SAMANTHA: Rick, we have Cindy from Throngs Neck, NY
RICK: I appreciate your call and look forward to… Hi Cindy, do you have a question about paranormal investigation?
CINDY: Yeah, to follow up on what the last caller said, I was actually in the audience at the Amityville and you really ate it.
Rick “accidentally” cuts her off.
RICK: Oops, we lost Cindy. Okay, Samantha while you work on getting her back, let’s talk about… what’s this?
SAMANTHA: There’s,,,
(SCENE NOT WORKING WHEN I TRY TO BLAST THROUGH IT. THE IDEA IS TO ESCALATE THE COMMENTS BAD TO WORSE WITH SOMEONE ON ZOOM BURNING THEIR BOOK WHICH SENDS RICK OFF)
Middle – Rick announces a new series
RICK: Oh, yeah? Well for your information you dick without a head, The Rick and Samantha Coffey Experience will be a series on the Supernatural Channel. Tell them, honey.
End – Samantha announces their divorce.
SAMANTHA: Eat my asshole, I want a divorce.
Act 1 TP – Rick announces the new reality show as if it is a done deal and Samantha announces they are divorcing
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Justine’s Act 1 Turning Point
This is getting harder, and positive self talk and self-empowerment is KEY. When I got stuck on what I was going to do in this part and how I was going to flesh out this turning point, I had to take a big step back, give myself a mental hug and say “This is good, this is where the rubber meets the road. It will come to you. Don’t freak the eff out.” I started writing, and it came. I am reassured by this. It is SO hard not to be critical of myself and not beat myself down. The empowerment video is REALLY helpful too. That’s what I learned this week.
ACT 1 TURNING POINT
INT. ANNIE’S APARTMENT – DAY
Beginning: Annie awakens the morning after her birthday to find that she is not alone; her Inner Critic is here, in the flesh, saying things, out loud, that Annie would normally say to herself.
Middle: Annie gets dressed quickly while the Inner Critic yells are her about her bad decisions the night before.
End: Annie runs out of the apartment, having to turn back for her keys and gets into her car, speeding away from her apartment in fear.
INT. YOGA STUDIO – DAY
Beginning: Annie is visibly shaken as she meets Jenn for yoga but lies to Jenn that nothing is the matter.
Middle: While attempting to do yoga, the Inner Critic shows up and starts criticizing Annie, asking why she’s even trying to do yoga.
End: Annie makes a lame excuse to Jenn and leaves yoga early.
INT. GROCERY STORE – NIGHT
Beginning: Annie looks around nervously as she tries to do her grocery shopping.
Middle: As she turns down isles to look at junk food, the Inner Critic keeps appearing in front of her, putting down her choices in food and inability to make healthy choices.
End: Annie becomes frustrated, ditches her cart and runs to the bathroom to hide.
INT. GROCERY STORE BATHROOM – NIGHT
Beginning: Annie is hunched up on the toilet in the stall, hiding from the Inner Critic.
Middle: Inner Critic appears in the stall with Annie, chiding her for hiding in the bathroom.
End: Annie realizes that
the Inner Critic isn’t going anywhere and she’s going to have to face her. It
also sinks in that this Inner Critic is not a real person and isn’t escapable. -
Bob Colley – Turning Point 1 Scenes
What I learned doing this assignment is using a pomodoro timer helps the work and ass circulation.
Outlining of the Turning Point and scenes that lead up to it
KEY SCENE 4: TURNING POINT #1 – LOCK THEM INTO THE JOURNEY!
Act 1 Turning Point Outline
BEGINNING:
Several FBI agents show up Sheriff Saxon’s office
Have teams collecting evidence
Seem like the drones were fitted with GPS and a kilo of C4
MIDDLE:
Agents are surveying the scene and directing the collection of evidence
There has been chatter that there is an imminent threat to <st1:city w:st=”on”><st1:place w:st=”on”>Seattle</st1:place></st1:city>.
END:
The FBI leave a rookie to help Sheriff Saxon
He’s not up to it so Saxon takes over – it’s my town the fucked with
Act 1 Turning Point Scene First Draft
INT. SHERIFF’S OFFICE – AFTERNOON
Sheriff Saxon’s office was designed for a couple of people is now shoulder to shoulder with FBI agents.
AGENT TURNER, mid thirties, is corralling the mass of agents. Eyeballs one of them
TURNER
Finish what you started then head
over to <st1:city w:st=”on”><st1:place w:st=”on”>Wilson</st1:place></st1:city>’s team and climb up
their ass. The rest of you have your tasks.
Don’t fuck anything up. Move!
The agents file out the door.
TURNER (Con’t)
Not you Beckman.
Agent KYLE BECKMAN, 25, stops at the doorway and turns around.
TURNER (con’t)
Sheriff Saxon?
JOHN
Whatever you need Agent Turner.
TURNER
Agent Beckman is here to lead point on
where the hell these drones came from.
Turner glances at Beckman.
TURNER (con’t)
Sheriff Saxon will fill you in about
the area.
JOHN
Excuse me, sir. But this is my town they hit
and I have to follow your junior g-man?
TURNER
Protocol. This was a terrorist attack. The FBI
will lead this investigation.
John’s clenched fist pounds the desk.
JOHN
It’s MY TOWN!
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Paul’s turning point.
What I learned during this assignment is that great films have great turning points.
1. Outline your Act 1 Turning Point.
Patricia is in a bridal gown getting ready to be married. She gets a text, reads it, it’s a death threat! But she decides to go ahead with the wedding anyway.
2. Write your Act 1 Turning Point.
INT. PATRICIA’S LIVING ROOM – DAY
Pearl watches as bridesmaids huddle around Patricia and talk in hushed tones to her, so Pearl can’t hear.
JADE
You have to call it off!
BRIDESMAID 1
Ring the police.
Patricia shakes her head no.
JADE
If you don’t call them, I will.
Jade whips out her phone, and Patricia wrestles it from her.
PATRICIA
No! I said, No!
JADE
Why not?
PATRICIA
You know why! I don’t ask much from you, but I’m asking you this. Don’t ruin this for me.
BRIDESMAID 1
What sort of sick bastard threatens to kill a bride on her wedding day.
JADE
Shut up!
BRIDESMAID 1
No, you shut your cakehole!
PATRICIA
Quit it, both of you! I need time to process this.
BRIDESMAID 1
I’m glad I’m not related to him.
Patricia looks over to Pearl. Lost in her own memories. Jade sidles up to Patricia and Patricia murmurs to her.
PATRICIA
You think I should tell her?
JADE
Do you reckon she’d understand?
BRIDESMAID 1
My pop had dementia, and he–
JADE
–Just call it off.
PATRICIA
And let him win!?
JADE
Would you rather be dead?
Patricia sighs.
BRIDESMAID 1
How did this even come to this?
Patricia reflects, makes eye contact with Pearl. There’s a glimmer of hope in Pearl’s eyes. Pearl blinks, then opens them, and for Pearl, it’s no longer 2015. It’s…
SUPER: 1965
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Adam’s turning point 1
What I learned is that the thought of putting my character in a state that he absolutely can’t turn back really had me change what exactly happened and even created a scene prior where he does try to ignore all the new information he has, but with the turning point scene it can’t be denied.
ACT 1
TURNING POINT 1 (sequence)…
INT. LES’S OFFICE – DAY
Beginning: Les goes to his computer, flicks it on and looks at all his open tabs – Videos & articles of alternative news. He hesitates.
Middle: He starts closing all the tabs, one by one, but he moves faster and faster almost elated to go back into a knowing state of denial.
End: When he’s done he closes his laptop and takes a deep breath – unsure if it’s the right move.
INT. HOUSE – CONTINUOUS
Les comes out and tells the kids they’re going for ice cream.
INT. ICE CREAM SHOP – LATER
They have fun together, happy. It almost feels normal despite the distancing, masks, questions…
EXT. DOWNTOWN – LATER
Beginning: They walk with their ice creams and in the distance hear noise and people. Down the street is a protest moving along the road.
Middle: Les suggests they hang out and see what it’s about. The kids are nervous but decide it’s fine. The protest is peaceful – it’s an anti-lockdown protest. They give out flyers and one gets handed to Les’s daughter. She reads it, saying these people are nuts. Les asks her why? She says they’re all conspiracy freaks, etc. Les starts to defend them a bit although he hold back, almost stopping himself from ‘going down the rabbit hole’.
End: Suddenly sirens wail and chaos starts up. Armed police in riot gear start marching and causing trouble. People start to run and police chase and club and pepper people. They all sit in silent protest, but the police start to haul people away – they start running. In the chaos a cop sees his daughter with a pamphlet. He runs over and grabs her, Les tries to stop him but he smashes her with a club. She falls unconscious.
INT. HOSPITAL – NIGHT
Beginning: Les and his family sit around his daughter in the hospital room. They’ve obviously been there a while and she seems okay. They do their own things in the room and Les drifts off.
Middle: Dream sequence – Les’s daughter and son are lined up at their school with full hazmat suits on. At the front door police and medical staff screen each child who holds their wrist up and has the embedded chip scanned. On the screen it shows not only their vitals, but their credit score, bank accounts, recent places visited.
Inside the school they sit in plexiglass cubicles with little air vents. They have screens in front of them and still have to wear the hazmat suits. The teacher at the front has more freedom to move and wears less gear. On the screen a face talks and a video shows cleaning and distancing measures as well warnings of punishment if protocols aren’t adhered to. Suddenly a major siren goes off and a loud voice goes off ‘contamination breach!’. The door seals shut on its’ own.
End: Les wakes up with a start – in complete terror of the future he believes will happen if he doesn’t fight it.
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EUGENE’S TURNING POINT 1 SCENE (Lesson 11)
What I learned doing this assignment is that my inciting incident and turning point happen in the same Scene. I will have to add several scenes to separate them or choose another inciting incident.
Turning Point 1 Outline
EXT. CONSTRUCTION SITE – ANGEL CITY – DAY
BEGINNING: L.A. City Inspector is surprised to see “Angel City” for the most part, completed.
MIDDLE: The Inspector informs them that a whole team of inspectors will have to be assigned to the project to approve of everything that has been done. It could take some time.
END: As the Inspector starts to explain the next steps that have to be taken, Seco, Celeste and Patrick’s bodyguard, is arrested and handcuffed by the police. Celeste promises to help Seco.
Turning Point 1 Scene:
EXT. CONSTRUCTION SITE – ANGEL CITY – DAY
It it seven days later and a CITY INSPECTOR is with Celeste and Patrick, who are flanked by SAMUEL and SECO BRIGHTCLOUD.
CITY INSPECTOR
I am supposed to inspect your progress.
CELESTE
Well, it’s finished.
CITY INSPECTOR
Your permit is only 7 days old. You’re not telling me you built this is a week?
PATRICK
Yes.
SAMUEL
With a little help from his friends.
CITY INSPECTOR
I am going to have to call in a whole team of inspectors to check everything before you open this up to the new residents.
SECO
How long will that take?
CITY INSPECTOR
Probably more than 7 days.
(WE SEE a POLICEMAN come up behind Seco BrightCloud)
(Seco turns as the Cop addresses him)
POLICEMAN
Are you Seco BrightCloud?
SECO
Yes.
POLICEMAN
Mr. BrightCloud, you’re under arrest.
SECO
For what?
POLICEMAN
(putting handcuffs on Seco)
Conspiracy…
SAMUEL
That’s my son. You can’t arrest him.
POLICEMAN
Just doing my duty. You can follow me to the station if you want.
CELESTE
Don’t worry Seco, we’ll get you out of this
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Becky’s Turning Point 1 Scenes: “What
I learned doing this assignment is that I finally had the aha moment
with the connection between Inciting incident and the turning point.INT. ASSISTED LIVING – DAY
Meets 94 year old- talk about Ade.
Beg -Meets Frank
Mid -Frank tells of possible murder.
End -Dana concludes may be back.
INT. HOTEL ROOM – DAY
Calls and cancels rest of trip. She’s
gonna stay. Calls Gem Guide – schedules another visitBeg -Thinks over decision
Mid -Makes decision
End -Starts new journey
EXT. ASSISTED LIVING FACILITY – DAY
Dana follows the FACILITY CLERK out to a patio in an active quad area of the assisted living facility.
FRANK, a witty and thoughtful 94 year old sits in the shade looking out over the perfectly cut grass. The Clerk points to Frank and Dana approaches him.
DANA
Frank Wittaker?
Frank turns to her.
FRANK
Come sit down. My neck don’t swivel so good.
Dana sits next to Frank.
FRANK
Whose lovely presence am I enjoying right now?
DANA
I’m Dana. Morrison.
FRANK
Nice to meet you Dana.
Dana wrings her hands and shifts in her seat.
FRANK
Why you nervous? I don’t bite. What group you with?
DANA
Group?
FRANK
Church? Spend some time with the geezers and get a soul point.
Dana nervously giggles.
DANA
Oh, no. Nothing like that. I was hoping to talk to you about The Gem. The theater.
Frank lights up.
FRANK
The Gem. Our town jewel.
Frank cracks himself up. Dana smiles but he doesn’t get the immediate reaction.
FRANK
Okay, not a jokester. What are you after?
DANA
Did you get to go to any vaudeville shows? You may have been too young.
FRANK
You are a sweetheart.
DANA
I’m here about some performers before your time.
FRANK
Like?
DANA
Like Ade Johnson?
Frank whistles long and slow.
FRANK
Now there is a name I haven’t heard in a long time.
DANA
You remember her?
FRANK
You’re right. She was before my time. But my parents loved that woman’s voice. Back then we just had those scratchy, barely understandable recordings. She was one of the first black female artists to be recorded.
Frank’s thoughts drift.
DANA
So did they get to see her perform?
FRANK
Oh yeah. The Gem was one that let the black, well they used negro back then, but black Vaudeville troupes perform.
Frank turns to Dana with excitement in his voice.
FRANK
Ade was amazing. She was a first in a lot of things. So talented.
His eyes remember again.
FRANK
Such a shame.
DANA
Shame?
FRANK
A shame she was taken so young. That was bad business.
DANA
Bad business?
Frank grins at Dana.
FRANK
Yep, they said it was her heart. But my parents heard that there was a huge rivalry, because of her popularity. A jealous male headliner.
DANA
Jealous? You think her death wasn’t natural?
FRANK
As natural as being poisoned.
Dana rocks forward.
DANA
Poisoned?
Frank leans back and shrugs.
FRANK
Who knows? It was a long time ago. My parents knew the authorities weren’t going to look into it even though it was suspicious. And that was that.
DANA
Unbelievable.
FRANK
She was a beauty, a comedian, angelic voice, business smart, blacks and whites loved her.
Frank’s brows furrow as he turns to Dana.
FRANK
That made her a problem.
DANA
Oh geez.
FRANK
Fishy stuff. We’ll never know if it was jealousy or the white producers thinking she was getting too big for her britches.
DANA
Thank you so much for talking with me. I never thought I’d know more about her.
FRANK
I love talking about those days. My house mates just wanna play cards and sleep.
Frank leans back, looks up and sighs.
FRANK
Ade Johnson, now she’s something to talk about.
DANA
Thank you Frank. I may come back for another chat. If that’s okay, of course.
Frank leans toward Dana with a grin.
FRANK
As long as I’m breathing, you can come visit me anytime.
INT. DANA’S HOTEL ROOM – DAY
Dana looks over her copies from the library and piece of torn playbill she pulled off the wall in the theater.
She unfolds her itinerary that shows three more hotel names, each in different towns.
Dana picks up her phone, sets it down. She picks up the torn playbill. Looks at her itinerary. Picks phone up and dials.
DANA
Hi, umm… I have a reservation tomorrow night… Dana Morrison. Yes, I’ll need to cancel that.
Dana hangs up and sets the Playbill down on top of everything. She dials again.
DANA
Hi, this is Dana Morrison.
(pause)
I’m hoping to take that in-depth tour again. Your, umm… stories are so intriguing.
(pause)
Tomorrow would be perfect.
Dana hangs up, puts the torn playbill in her book bag, slings the bag over her shoulder and leaves.
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