Post Your Lesson 13 Assignment here

[Renee Brown]

Renee Brown has Great introductions.

What I learned doing this assignment is how much more I can paint the kind of image I see in my mind and give the reader an adventurous journey.

Still working on character intros, but really leaning into using the entire scene as the intro instead of just the line after their names.

The Irony piece really adds depth. Example:

TALLAS (looks 40, actually 368) Wiseman of the Longheads, scribe of The Prophecy of Unity, sits in a learning circle with a small group of children.

[Sherri Coffee]

Sherri D. Coffee Module 4 Lesson 13 Has Great Introductions!

What I learned doing this assignment is to focus on the specific images and situations that will better demonstrate the world and allow the character to show some uniqueness.

I revised the scenes to have more action to better demonstrate the time period – 1886 – and the sub-world.

I added character action to 3 of my main characters. I am still looking for places that allow for irony and will continue to brainstorm to improve the descriptions.

[Barbara Gilmore]

I’m still working my way through each Act but for this lesson the focus is on the character intros, world and sub-world, and irony.

I’ve gone back and forth on these character intros because there’s a secret relationship among these three characters and that won’t be revealed until later.

STEVE BERESFORD, LUKE SMITH, ANNA COLE.

TEASER

BEFORE:

SCENE 2

STEVE BERESFORD (34) is driving. LUKE SMITH (32) sits in the passenger seat. At first glance they seem like a married couple with their matching plaid shirts, hipster haircuts, and skinny jeans.

But Steve reaches behind and ANNA COLE (29), sitting in the back seat, punk goth, grabs his hand, caresses and kisses it, then lets it go.

Luke, jealous, throws Steve a look, Steve glances at Luke, purses his lips.

The pick-up’s headlights illuminate a ROAD SIGN “Bear Creek Rest Area and Trailhead 50m on the left”.

AFTER:

STEVE BERESFORD (34) is driving. LUKE SMITH (32) sits in the passenger seat.

Steve reaches behind and ANNA COLE (29), sitting in the back seat, grabs his hand, caresses and kisses it, then lets it go.

Luke throws Steve a jealous look, gulps downs some water.

Second AFTER:

STEVE BERESFORD (34) is driving. LUKE SMITH (32) sits in the passenger seat. At first glance they seem like a married couple with their matching plaid shirts, hipster haircuts, and skinny jeans.

But Steve reaches behind and ANNA COLE (29), sitting in the back seat, punk goth, grabs his hand, caresses and kisses it, then lets it go.

Luke throws Steve a jealous look, gulps downs some water.

JESS PEARSON

AFTER

INT. SEATTLE COURTROOM – DAY

SERGEANT JESS PEARSON, mid-thirties, stares straight ahead.

BEFORE

INT. BLACK SUV – DAY

Senior Detective JESSICA (JESS) PEARSON (33) slows and turns left off the highway at the SIGN “Welcome to Bear Creek Rest Area”.

TAPE stretches from the SIGN across the entrance to a tree. Jess stops the car. OFFICER JAMES (26) approaches. Jess opens her window.

JESS

Morning, Officer. Sheriff Moore is expecting me.

Jess holds up her ID BADGE.

James checks the ID against a list on her clipboard and ticks.

SHERIFF LINDA MOORE – needs some work

BEFORE AND AFTER

EXT. BEAR CREEK REST AREA – CAR PARK -DAY

SHERIFF LINDA MOORE (62), disposable gloves and booties, is walking towards her.

She removes her glove and extends her hand.

SHERIFF MOORE

I’ll be damned. Jessica Pearson. I always knew you’d make detective.

They shake hands.

SARAH WATSON

AFTER

INT. SARAH’S GARAGE AND CAFE – CAFE – DAY

Jess enters. She’s expecting the bell above the door to ring but the 1950s diner welcome has been replaced by upscale modern rustic artsy.

A handful of PATRONS are chatting, drinking, and eating.

SARAH WATSON (35) is behind the counter hovering over a shiny Espresso machine.

BEFORE

INT. SARAH’S GARAGE AND CAFE – CAFE – DAY

Jess ENTERS. A bell above the door RINGS.

A handful of PATRONS are CHATTING, drinking, and eating.

SARAH WATSON (35) is behind the counter pouring coffee

• This reply was modified 3 years, 7 months ago by  Barbara Gilmore.