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Post Your Lesson 17 Assignment Here
Reply and post your assignment here.
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19 Replies
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Dave Holloway’s Act 3 Reaction to Midpoint
What I learned doing this assignment is that if I think long enough, a few interesting possibilities arise that might help me write a difficult passage in the story.
OUTLINE – KEY SCENE 1: Reaction/Rethink
BEGINNING: Nigel tells Roger that Livia has been told she will be executed in seven days, and that Shiloh is a tightly-run, authoritarian state.
MIDDLE: They admit they have little idea how to fight Shiloh to free her. They agree they should be armed.
END: Roger suggests Nigel contact the British government, because they might be able to give him information about Shiloh and perhaps the name of someone there they can talk to.
KEY SCENE 1: Reaction/Rethink
INT. TRAIN – DAY
Nigel’s head is lowered for several seconds. Roger has up.
NIGEL: I’d read Shiloh was an authoritarian state where the military ran things, Rog. But I didn’t think it was a barbaric place that killed people without hesitation. And it sounds as if it’s tightly controlled to thwart anyone who tries to defy it.
ROGER: It’s like you said, mate. There are always people in fascist states looking for a chance to land a punch against them.
NIGEL: Livia told me they’re going to execute her in seven days.
Roger is astonished.
ROGER: Bastards. And she’s completely innocent.
NIGEL: Sounds as if we’ll be arrested if we try to enter the state legally. There’s a 15-foot wall around it that we’ll have to get over.
ROGER: We should probably be armed when we get there.
NIGEL: You ever shoot a gun, Rog?
ROGER: Just skeet shooting a few times with a rifle.
NIGEL: I never have. But you’re right – guns will give us a better chance.
They’re quiet for a moment.
NIGEL: Feels as if we’re walking in to a battle with blindfolds on. No idea who we’re fighting or how to beat them.
ROGER: You might try to reach our government. Prime Minister’s probably worthless, but there might be someone there who can tell us something about what the damned place is like, and how we should try to attack them.
Nigel’s voice sparks with enthusiasm.
NIGEL: That’s damned good, Rog. They might know someone trustworthy in Shiloh that we can talk to.
ROGER: And where we can locate some firearms.
Nigel nods and gazes out the window, pondering.
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Pam’s Act 3: Reaction to the Midpoint
What I learned: this is one section of my story that I had not thought about nearly as much as some of the other scenes. So I’m winging it (a new process for me), committing to move ahead with placeholders where I don’t know the answers.
INT. HENRI’S APARTMENT – NIGHT
Henri grabs his burner phone and dials Detective Stone.DETECTIVE STONE (V.O.)
Everything ok?HENRI
(amped up)
Bradley James wasn’t supposed to die!DETECTIVE STONE
I know. By all accounts, he seemed like a good guy.HENRI
No. MacKay was trying to kill me.
(angrily)
And Marc hired him!DETECTIVE STONE
How do you know all this?HENRI
The Modeling Glue label. The misspelling was intentional!
All a ruse to set me up, and send me on an errand to Bradley’s house.
(beat)
How soon can you arrest him?DETECTIVE STONE
(incredulous)
Arrest him? On what grounds? Conspiracy to commit a typo?
(matter-of-factly)
We need solid proof that Marc hired MacKay. Something to connect the two.Stone wants Henri to stay in his lane and let them do their job. Det. Stone promises to keep a closer watch on Marc.
MIDDLE: Henri is really depressed. Tries to get some sleep. He has nightmares about Marc? Or: he flashes back to things Marc said to him in the past, that now take on a new meaning.
END: Wakes up in the morning, decides that he can’t just stand by and do nothing. Needs to take matters into his own hands.
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Mary Ellevold’s Act 3 Reaction to Midpoint.
What I learned: the puzzle is finally fitting together.
2. Write Key Scene 1: Reaction/Rethink.
After arrested at Pet Shoppe, Jon drops therapy
He is forced to try again when Judge orders follow through with therapy or lose his job.
Next step; counter conditioning at the aquarium.
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What I learned from this assignment is the three-step process of creating a scene: starting with the Beat Sheet, expanding to the Outline with the emotional core, and finally writing the dialog scene makes the scene-writing process much easier.
Mark’s Act 3 Reaction to Midpoint
BEAT SHEET
EXT. ICE FIELD – DAY
Rethink everything: They build crude shelters and tents and create a small town to survive. Drake steals food and hides it away.
OUTLINE
BEGINNING
EXT. ICE FIELD – DAY
People struggle to get out of the wind. Jensen shouts at the crew to build shelters from packing crates and canvas. Passengers huddle together helplessly watch the crew. Victoria is the first to pitch in and help.
MIDDLE
Jensen notices and thanks her. Some of the male passengers see her example and join in. Some threaten others who don’t offer to help. Some are too cold, others scared; and one man pleads to be left where he is, huddling with his pregnant wife, keeping her warm.
END:
A camp takes shape – a wooden hut from lumber and crates for the ten women, crude tents out of canvas for the men.
INT. LARGE TENT -DAY-
A radio antenna is raised, and the transmitter is set up in the largest tent. People cram in, some cursing those who haven’t rescued them. Some voices urge trekking over the ice pack to land before they drift farther away. Arguments develop into a passionate melee. Victoria speaks up and firmly urges, “they haven’t given up on us. They will come for us.”
INT. NAVAL STATION, ANCHORAGE -DAY
Several DUTY OFFICERS are a picture of inactivity, lounging with their hot coffee in the ops center. They discuss rescue ideas – more ships, using a blimp, dog sleds. And they find reasons why they can do nothing except wait for the Dreadnaught.
EXT.ICE FIELD – DAY
101 people are strewn around the ice field in confusion, amidst random piles of crates and supplies. Some are wandering aimlessly trying to get out of the wind.
Jensen assembles the crew.
JENSEN
CREW OF THE NORTHWIND! MUSTER HERE NOW!
Between 15 and 20 men of the ship crew gather round.
JENSEN (CONT’D)
Quickly, build shelters. Use the crates. Get your tools. Make tents from canvas and rope.
The wind howls and fights against them. Men curse as the wind slashes their faces with whipping ropes. Some forget that touching metal tools without a glove means a hand will stick to it – and burn.
Passengers and scientists huddle together and helplessly watch the crew.
Victoria gets up and grabs a rope, helping two men tie it down. She goes to others and helps – carrying supplies, moving cans and boxes.
ON CAPTAIN JENSEN
He is everywhere, directing, giving orders, moving people into tents as they are built.
He passes Victoria coming out of a tent.
JENSEN (CONT’D)
Thank you, girl. Good.
VICTORIA
I’d rather keep moving than freeze. I’m sorry about your ship.
EXT.ANOTHER PART OF ICE CAMP – DAY
Several men watch Victoria working and decide to pitch in. One bearded man shuffles past several men huddling against a crate.
BEARDED MAN
Get off your butts or I’ll wallop ya lazy bastards.
FIRST COLD MAN
Its too cold to move. I won’t.
The second man just closes his eyes in misery. Bearded man moves on, sees another man sitting huddled with a blanket.
BEARDED MAN
You, lend a hand.
SECOND COLD MAN
Please, no. Leave me be.
He unwraps the blanket revealing his pregnant wife huddled for warmth.
EXT.ICE FIELD CAMP-DAY
A camp takes shape – a wooden hut from lumber and crates for the ten women, crude tents out of canvas for the men.
A radio antenna is raised, and the transmitter is set up in the largest tent.
INT. LARGE TENT -DAY
People cram in, upset, anxious, cold and ornery.
BEARDED MAN
How are we going to survive? No one can live this way.
WEATHER MAN
We should probably trek overland to safety before we drift further away.
DRAKE
You do that then, if you like.
TALL MAN
We’re all dead…if we stay on this ice.
There are shouts from others. Some are confused, and everybody starts talking at once.
Jensen is huddled to one side with DEWEY the radio operator, finalizing the hookup and operation.
Jensen stands to his full height, as he is the largest in the room. He just scans the crowd silently, as the arguments rise in volume.
Victoria is standing near the back with Large Woman 1. They are the only women there. Large Woman 1 tugs on Victoria’s sleeve and motions to her. Victoria looks drained. The woman slips out of the tent, leaving Victoria behind.
CU – JENSEN
Still gazing calmly at the uproar. Then…
JENSEN
(roars)
NOOOOOO MORE.
Everyone is silenced, stunned. Jensen looks invincible. A small voice is heard from the back.
VICTORIA
They haven’t given up on us.
(more firmly)
We can’t give up hope. They will come for us.
(strongly)
Brave men are risking their lives at this moment to find us.
INT. NAVAL STATION, ANCHORAGE -DAY
Several DUTY OFFICERS are a picture of inactivity, lounging with their hot coffee in the ops center.
ENSIGN
Refill lieutenant?
LIEUTENANT GEORGE
No thanks, Jimmy. Good here.
LIEUTENANT CARROLL
When the weather clears, we could launch two more cutters.
LIEUTENANT GEORGE
We’d have to get another positioning to know the range. Fuel is a factor in the ice.
ENSIGN
MR. Carroll there’s a blimp at Seattle. Its got range.
LIEUTENANT GEORGE
Hmmm. Maybe, wonder what kind of capacity it has.
LIEUTENANT CARROLL
I don’t think it can handle the winds.
LIEUTENANT GEORGE
Dogsleds.
ENSIGN
Yeah, maybe.
LIEUTENANT CARROLL
We have to hope the Dreadnaught can get through.
The others nod in agreement and sip coffee.
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Assignment 17
Aleta Rafton’s Act 3 Reaction to Midpoint
What I learned doing this assignment is that my Act 2 Key scene 4 is actually the turning point because Jack changes and takes charge of the situation. I may have to rewrite that scene creating more problems he has to overcome which then leads to this reaction/rethink scene
Act 3
Outline
Key Scene 1
All exit parked sidecar, Shadow is sniffing, Jack holds tracking device, night
Hank realizes Jack has been seriously undermining and confronts him
Hank realizes Grandpa has not been on his side either
Key Scene 2
Takes tracker from Jack, going it alone, oddly Shadow follows him into the darkness
Jack and Grandpa run after Hank and Shadow
Hank follows tracker guidance among piles of garbage, then piles of Christmas trees
Comes around tree sees escaped lion eating garbage with ornament dangling from his fur
Jack comes around corner, see Hank but not lion which is right behind him
Grandpa comes next sees lion but is closer to Hank
Jack start running to Hank
Lion gets up to follow him
Jack sees lion and screams
Lion gets up and shakes so ornament goes flying out onto ground
Key Scene 3
Hank uses whip to back lion into empty container
Grandpa and Jack close container door tapping lion inside
Jack rushes to hug Hank who was reaching to grab ornament from ground
Grandpa calls police about lion
Key Scene 4
Owl flies down from tree and swoops up ornament just as Hank reaches for it
Hank, Jack and Grandpa watch in silence as the owl flies off
Hank admits there’s a distance range for the tracker. They may lose owl for good.
Scene 5
Newsroom where Julie works showing story that city is safe because lion was found trapped in dump in a container.
She leaves to go home
Act 3
Key Scene 1
Hank
You two have done everything you can to undermine me and make me look stupid especially to Julie. I am so sick of this! Give me that!
(Hank grabs tracker from Jack and storms off alone into the dump to find the tree with the tree. Shadow follows him leaving Jack and Grandpa standing there)
Hank
Come on Shadow. This way.
(Hank jumps at every sound. Shadow looks at him sensing his fear)
Hank
Quiet Shadow!
(Suddenly an owl flies out of nowhere, swoops down and grazes Hank’s hair. He screams!)
Hank
Aiy! Ahh!!!!
Key Scene 2
(Shadow is smelling everything and sees owl eating garbage. Shadow runs over to grab the food but the owl flies up away. They search first through garbage and then piles of trees. Hank comes around a corner and sees the scaped lion eating garbage on the ground with the ornament hanging from his neck. Hank freezes in fear)
Hank
Quiet shadow! Halt!
(Shadow stops, growling at the lion. Shadow sees the owl in the tree nearby and growls at it too. Hank looks around trying to decide what to do. Lion sees Hank and starts growling at him. Lion gets up, does full body shake causing ornament to fly off, landing behind him. Shadow moves toward the lion)
Hank
Shadow stop! Stop!
(Hank sees door is open on empty container and decides to use his whip to back into the container. Jack and Grandpa run to Hank’s voice yelling at Shadow. Jack doesn’t see lion behind him but sees Hank and runs toward him)
Hank
Jack! Stop running!
(Jack turns to see lion coming for him)
Jack
Screams!
(Grandpa emerges from garbage to see chaos Hank using whip to control lion)
Hank
Jack!
(Hank uses his whip to coerce lion but it’s a struggle and the lion jumps on top of the container rather than in it)
Hank
Come on little lion! Come on!
(Hank taunts the lion while Jack and Grandpa are afraid for him)
Jack
Hank! Watch out! Be careful!
Hank
Like you care!
Grandpa
We do care! Please be careful!
Key Scene 3
(Hank coaxes lion into empty container. Grandpa and Jack slam the container door shut and flip the lock)
Jack
That was awesome Hank! You were amazing! Thank you so much!!!!
Grandpa
Yeah, that was impressive.
(Hank is surprised by their sudden admiration and not sure what to make of it)
Hank
Yeah. Really? Seriously?
(Grandpa on phone with police)
Yes ,the lion is at the City Dump locked in a container in the back of the dump near where all the trees are. Yes. Ok. You are welcome.
(Grandpa Hangs up phone)
Grandpa
Hank, really, we didn’t mean any harm. We’ve just been kidding around with you.
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Sandra’s ACT 3 Reaction to Midpoint
What I learned doing this assignment is how to create character insights and growth into the transformational journey by having the protagonist experience a reaction/rethink experience.
MIDPOINT: Lucy receives a phone call from her brother that her mother is in the hospital and may not live. Mother requests that Lucy come home. What secret has Lucy’s mother been keeping?
REACTION/RETHINK: Lucy is nervous about presenting her dissertation defense in order to graduate. She just discovered that Professor Clark may be the one sabotaging her work. Now her mother is critically ill in the hospital. Lucy faces the biggest dilemma of her life. She must make a choice between career or family.
INT. UNIVERSITY RESEARCH LAB – DAY
BEGINNING: Lucy is shocked when she hears the news about her mother.
MIDDLE: She begins crying. Not sure what to do. Lucy hopes her mother will finally tell her who her father is.
END: Lucy decides to put family first.
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Fred’s Act 3 Reaction to Midpoint
What I learned doing this assignment is that the Matrix reaction scene doesn’t have any flashy dialogue but it gets the point across. Neo was a bit of a bystander but now he has made a choice to finally take action that proves he is the one.
Jin realizes he can’t rely on his relatives to help him, they will protect Han who is family
Who will protect Mother, her friends? Her family? Cousins and uncles he hasn’t seen in ages?
Do they have bad blood between them that makes it hard to reach out, like the will and money that was distributed with the death of their father, how they reacted when their mother died through cancer, lawsuit against stepmother
Jin has to become more independent and cut throat, goes for the incriminating evidence which is the mistress
Emma, will she be an ally the whole time or a foe, supporting his mom or dad? How do I incorporate the aspect of cheating on her and Jin resembling Han?
Reaction/Rethink: In the car Jin asks Mother what her life would have been like if she didn’t marry his father young. She probably would have started work after graduating top of her class and probably would’ve wanted to date more before settling down. But then she wouldn’t have had Jin so she has no regrets. The only thing she regrets is that when she was in America with Jin her mother died and she couldn’t attend the funeral. Her brothers were so disgusted that they told her not to bother coming to their father’s funeral when he died years later too. Since then they have been completely cut off. That and the problem of money and the will, lawsuit with stepmom, etc. She mentions that Jin’s uncles has daughters his age, cousins that he’s never met before. She always dreamed of having a daughter but never had the chance too. Wishes she could meet them. They also live in Busan which is far away. This propels Jin on his next journey.
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Act 3 Reaction to Midpoint
[1] What I learned doing this assignment? To trust in the process. I have found that off the outline, the scene writing is much faster.
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[2] Using your Beat Sheet, outline your Act 3 Key Scenes.
#1. INT. MARY’S BEDROOM – LATER
BEGINNING: Clendon ransacks his mom’s bedroom looking for the necklace, for a clue
MIDDLE: He finds her secrets: she knew Ramirez since she was a girl, knew JR also!
END: Clendon storms off with photo album
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#2. EXT/INT. STARBUCKS – LATER
BEGINNING: Clendon storms in and confronts Ramirez about her and his mother’s connection.
MIDDLE: Ramirez explains how his mother was her benefactor, she saved her life.
END: Clendon leaves her with the photo album and the brick of money.
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#3. INT. MARY’S HOME – LIVING ROOM – NIGHT
BEGINNING: Clendon, Natalie & Linda sitting enjoying hot cocoa and the season.
MIDDLE: Linda changes his dressing on the bullet wound, lectures him re: cleaning it.
END: JR COUGHS, all three of them rush into his bedroom.
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#4 EXT. NEIGHBORHOOD – NIGHT
BEGINNING: Clendon and Natalie go caroling with his neighbors.
MIDDLE: Natalie sees Clendon gift his neighbors and is moved.
END: She kisses him passionately.
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#5 INT. MARY’S HOME – LAUNDRY ROOM – NIGHT
BEGINNING: Natalie doing the laundry comes across the DNA test in Clendon’s pants pocket.
MIDDLE: She goes down to his workout room and confronts him; violently. They fight
END: End up making love there on the floor.
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#6. EXT/INT. MARY’S HOME – CHRISTMAS EVE DAY
BEGINNING: Ramirez calls on Clendon, has Xmas presents for him. She goes inside.
MIDDLE: Ramirez visits with the nurse, Linda, talk re: JR; he has only a few days left.
END: Ramirez tells Linda to watch Clendon, that she is EMT certified and will help.
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#7. INT. JR’S BEDROOM – LATE AFTERNOON
BEGINNING: Natalie enters her father’s bedroom.
MIDDLE: Natalie tells him goodbye, show him Mary’s crucifix she found on his desk.
END: Natalie suffocates him with a pillow.
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[3] Write Key Scene 1: Reaction/Rethink.
<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>#1. INT. MARY’S BEDROOM – LATER
ANGLE ON Clendon. Frantic as he rummages through his mother’s WALK-IN CLOSET — behind him, a chest of drawers and walnut bureau, both ransacked.
At the vanity, contents of a jewelry box dumped across the granite counter top.
CLENDON “Where is it, mother? What are you hiding?”
ON HANDS AND KNEES, Clendon sweeps aside an entire row of shoes. Lifting up the strip of carpeting laid down under the shoe rack, he discovers a floor safe.
His surprise turns to a smile; it’s unlocked.
He pulls out a photo album and a banded stack of hundred dollar bills.
He returns to the vanity with the photo-album. The money, he stuffs in a jacket pocket.
INSERT – PHOTO ALBUM
1. Ramirez, skinny girl, arms wrapped around a Christmas package.
2. Ramirez, in cap and gown standing at a podium.
3. Rookie, in uniform, outside the police academy.
BACK TO SCENE
Clendon’s surprise turns to something else. He storms off with the photo album.
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#2. EXT/INT. STARBUCKS – LATER
In the SLUSH and MELTING ICE — BLACK YUKON SLIDES TO A STOP taking up two parking spaces.
Clendon jumps out, SLAMS THE DOOR SHUT.
INSIDE – he finds Ramirez at a corner table. Without so much as hello, he thrusts the photo album at her.
CLENDON “All this time you led me to believe you didn’t know my mother. Why?! “
RAMIREZ “It was Mary’s wish. She asked me to keep an eye on you in the event she got sick or passed.”
Clendon hesitates, not sure he wants to hear this.
RAMIREZ “Your mother was my sponsor; wasn’t for her, I wouldn’t be here, I wouldn’t be a detective. She saved me. So, when she asked me to watch over you, I didn’t hesitate.”
CLENDON “JR knew my mother as well. I found receipts and holiday photos of her with him. He never said a word. (without segueing) His hair might’ve been in the house because he stopped by to visit.”
RAMIREZ “There’s no record of JR checking in at the entrance. I’ve gone over all the video footage for that day. You told me the hair samples were Joe-Joe’s.”
CLENDON “Mom’s crucifix wasn’t with her personal effects. She never took it off. Whoever killed her, has it. “
RAMIREZ “Good to know. I’ll make a note of it in her file. I know why you’re doing this and I can’t in good conscience let you.”
CLENDON “Look, I told you, he’s family. Besides, he’s not going anywhere. “
RAMIREZ “That’s what I’m afraid of. What’s to stop you from finishing what you set out to do?”
CLENDON “Yeah, now I can cry like everyone else. It sucks!
RAMIREZ “There’s more to the grieving process. A good first step doesn’t mean you won’t back slide. I did.”
CLENDON “Coming to terms requires accepting what happened. My mother’s gone, that won’t change. Putting JR in prison won’t bring her back. It would destroy Natalie and I can’t have that. End of story.
RAMIREZ “Keeping your mother’s killer in her house is a recipe for disaster.”
CLENDON “Let it go, I’m begging you. I worked with JR, saw him every day. I’ll tell the jury his hair and clothing fibers were on my clothes… Reasonable doubt is all it takes.”
THAT STOPS Ramirez cold. She is tempted to take offense.
RAMIREZ “You’re right. The evidence is circumstantial. No weapon, no motive, no witnesses. Just so you know, I have an eyelash. Means he was in the room with Mary, up close: might’ve sneezed, something caused him to lose an eyelash. They normally just don’t fall out.”
She opens her purse, takes out a folded sheet of paper.
MOMENTARY FLASHBACK – POINSETTIA ON BREAKFAST TABLE
Clendon recalls the POINSETTIA on his mother’s table, remembers the violent SNEEZE JR had in his office because of the poinsettia Natalie left for him.
BACK TO SCENE
RAMIREZ “Destroy this. My mother was taken from me when I was half your age. I spent years where you are.”
Clendon scans the lab report; name reads, John Doe. He gives Ramirez a heart-felt hug, reaches down, sets the brick of hundred dollar bills in her lap.
CLENDON “My turn to grope you.”
Clendon turns and walks off. Ramirez looks in her lap thinking he left her a book.
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#3. INT. MARY’S HOME – LIVING ROOM – NIGHT
In keeping with the season and Clendon’s proclivity for all things Christmas, he has on Santa Claus pajama pants and a colorful North Pole sweat-shirt.
Animated, he looks a thousand times better than he did this morning. His exuberance, albeit narcotically-enhanced, is contagious.
He sits facing Linda. Beside him, Natalie in a Rudolph tee-shirt, black Yoga pants and fuzzy, reindeer slippers.
LINDA “Have you been changing your dressing and disinfecting the wound twice a day?”
CLENDON “Yeah…about that.”
Natalie gives Linda a telling look.
LINDA “It’s not something to take lightly. Threat of infection is serious. When is the last time you changed the dressing?”
CLENDON “Yesterday — morning.”
Linda is up, out of her chair.
LINDA “I’ll be right back.”
She strides out of the room.
NATALIE (mouths: tisk-tisk-tisk) “You’ve done it now. She comes back with a syringe full of penicillin, I’m helping hold you down. (wicked smile) You know where the needle goes?”
CLENDON “You Benedict Arnold. I get a shot, you’re getting a spanking for ratting me out.”
NATALIE (blows a kiss) “Promises – promises.”
LINDA returns with gauze pads, tape, ointment, bottle of disinfectant; she sets them on the coffee table.
LINDA “Take off your shirt. Sit up. There, that’s better. (removes old dressing) Natalie, would you please turn on the room lights… Thank-you.”
Clendon sits perfectly still: He SHIVERS without knowing it.
LINDA “Pleased there is no visible sign of infection at either the entry or exit point — unaware Clendon is struggling emotionally.
LINDA “It appears to be healing just fine. Any burning sensations?”
Natalie realizes Clendon’s spaced out, SNAPS HER FINGER.
CLENDON “Listen, I’d really rather…your mom, she was force.”
Natalie laughs. Linda smiles, starts to clean up the mess when Brendon stops her:
CLENDON “I got this, thank you. I will change the dressing twice a day.”
Linda’s medical focus gives way to the needs of a woman staring at Clendon’s physical perfection.
LINDA “I’d better be going.”
Natalie gives Linda a hug.
LINDA “Make sure he changes the dressings.”
As Linda’s turns to leave, Natalie gives Klendon the eye gesturing for him to walk with her.
Clendon follows Linda to the front door.
CLENDON (unlocks dead bolt) “Thank-you for everything. I’m making sausage and eggs in the morning. You’re welcome to join us.”
LINDA “I’ll be here. I want to make sure JR isn’t developing a pneumonia. He spiked a fever earlier today.”
CLENDON “If something happens during the night, may I call you?”
LINDA “Certainly, you have my number.”
Clendon returns to the living room, stops at the fireplace, throws a log on the coals before rejoining Natalie.
NATALIE “You could have tapped that.”
Clendon rolls his eyes, reaches for his sweatshirt.
CLENDON “Sorry, my radar’s broken.”
NATALIE “I could be your girl. Fix you up.”
CLENDON “Incest, no thanks… Thought you said white boys were – awkward.”
NATALIE “My mother was from Italy, Dad’s an eighth Irish. Makes me white, brown, and black. You know you’re just rehearsing with Barbie… Where is she? Bet you a kiss you aren’t even Facebook official.
CLENDON “Rehearsing?”
NATALIE “You aren’t… I checked. (purses her lips) Pay up. Don’t make me wait for it white bread.
Natalie pulls him into her, their lips come together in a kiss that turns into an open-mouth tongue mating session.
SEASONAL THEME OF THE DOOR BELL DESTROYS THE MOMENT and is followed a moment later by the resonant CHIMING of the grandfather clock.
Natalie looks at Clendon, whose confusion says it all.
CLENDON “Speaking of awkward.”
MOMENTS LATER, A RAGGED COUGH brings Natalie to her feet.
In the hallway, she’s met by Linda. The three rush into JR’s room.
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#4. EXT. NEIGHBORHOOD – NIGHT
Clendon and Natalie are caroling with a dozen other residents from the neighborhood. Clendon on the guitar. Danbury, his next -door neighbor, toting a violin.
Natalie feels the love these people have for one another is genuine, and is moved by it.
We STEADICAM down the shoveled and salted sidewalk — CAMERA STOPPING ON the Timkins — mister and misses, with thermos of hot cider and a platter of cookies — an elderly couple who epitomize graciousness.
JACK TIMKINS, personable man with snowy head of hair and a neatly trimmed mustache.
Clendon hands Natalie his guitar, goes over and gives misses Timkins a sealed envelope.
Natalie watches the elderly lady open the envelope — her hand covers her mouth in disbelief.
Clendon walks back, a smile from ear to ear. Natalie, having worked one summer for a bank, recognizes a property deed when she sees one.
Natalie stares at Clendon as he adjusts his guitar strap: wanting him in a way she’s never felt about anyone before.
CLENDON “We’ve three more to deliver.” (shoulder nudge) Glad you took the night off, Nat. Feels right having you with me playing Santa. We make a good team.”
Natalie kisses him on the cheek — getting his attention — KISSING much more passionately as the carolers mingle to enjoy hot cider, spiced wine, and sugar cookies.
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#5. INT. MARY’S HOME – LAUNDRY ROOM – NIGHT
Tired, Natalie marches into the laundry room, reaches in the hamper for clothing.
Thinking Clendon left money in one of his pants pocket, she pulls out a folded piece of paper. LOGO catches her eye:
INSERT – LOGO
TRI-MEDIC LABORATORIES
BACK TO SCENE
She sees the date, requesting officer’s name — eyes the subject’s name: John Doe.
Reading over the results — her eyes narrow with anger — her greatest fear has been realized.
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#6. INT. WORKOUT ROOM – CONTINUOUS
Without gloves or his wrists being wrapped, Clendon is pummeling a heavy bag. There’s a wet, red circle on the gauze pad taped to his chest.
Natalie strides into the room, throws the lab results in Clendon’s face.
Clendon drops his hands, squeezes his eyes shut and bites down on his mouth piece. He cannot go there.
Natalie’s PUNCH takes him square in the jaw. Mouth piece GOES FLYING.
Clendon drops to one knee. Dazed. His face says it all. He can’t believe she just hit him.
Natalie attacks: raining punches at Clendon. One blow splits open the gash above his right eyebrow.
Clendon retaliates with a vicious LEG SWEEP — drops Natalie to the floor mat.
NATALIE “I get my hands free, I’m going to break your face!”
Clendon pins her arms over her head, says nothing.
NATALIE “Fuck you! Finish it.”
She exposes her neck to Clendon — daring him.
CLENDON “Why’d he do it?! You even know?”
NATALIE “NO! I DONT! He didn’t say a word.”
NATALIE’S FACE CRUMBLES AS SHE BURSTS INTO TEARS.
Clendon releases her.
Natalie scrambles to her feet. Incredibly, she starts punching, kicking. Sobbing. Grief-stricken.
Seeing red, Clendon RETALIATES: HITS HER TWICE in rapid succession — LUNGES for her — his hands around her throat.
NATALIE “Do it! Do it! I can’t live with this… Kill me!”
Sliding his hands away from her throat, pinning her head to the mat by her hair, Clendon does the unthinkable.
EXTREME CLOSE UP.
Clendon’s lips mashing Natalie’s — forcing her mouth open.
Natalie REACTS: arms and legs curl around Clendon — as the two KISS violently — taste of blood in each other’s mouth — TEARING at their clothing — desperate for relief from an unbearable pain — from the betrayal of a man they both love.
PULL BACK — reveal a young man and woman clinging to one another: bloodied, trembling, gasping for breath, afraid to let go of one another.
—————————
#7. EXT/INT. MARY’S HOME – CHRISTMAS EVE DAY
Detective Ramirez stares at the Christmas wreath on the front door. She gives the door bell another ring, not sure Clendon’s home — when the door OPENS.
CLENDON(eyes presents) “You should’nt’ve. Please, come in.”
Ramirez notices his cut lip and shiner, sees his knuckles. The detective in her on high alert.
RAMIREZ (hands top present) “This one’s for you. The other one is for Natalie.”
Moved, Clendon takes the presents off her hands, sets them on the entry way bench. He leads the way into the living room, walks over to the wet bar.
CLENDON “Can I get you something to drink?”
RAMIREZ “Eggnog, no thanks.”
CLENDON “Seriously, what’s your poison?”
RAMIREZ “Drinking with a minor, what is this world coming to… Scotch, if you have it.”
CLENDON “Single malt or blend?”
RAMIREZ “Surprise me. How’s Mister Foster doing?”
CLENDON “Linda’s got him on antibiotics for his fever. She’s with him now.”
Clendon pulls out a beautiful bottle, pours two fingers, places one oversized ice cube in the glass, gives it a swirl.
RAMIREZ “Can I pop in, say hello?”
CLENDON “Down the hallway, second door on the left.”
Ramirez gives the scotch a taste and is blown away,
RAMIREZ “Oh my God, that’s incredible!”
CLENDON “Macallan M. Highland Single Malt. Mary’s favorite.”
RAMIREZ “Be right back.”
Clendon waits till she is out of sight, then reaches in the cupboard and retrieves an unopened bottle of the scotch.
He rushes into the den for a liquor sack and a bow.
———————-
#8. INT. JR’S BEDROOM – LATE AFTERNOON
Natalie stands at her father’s bedside. Cold. Remote. In her hand, a cell phone, she cues up a SONG.
NATALIE (little girl voice) “It’s your favorite, Daddy.”
She looks down at her father with a moment’s pity.
NATALIE “It’s time, daddy.”
Natalie DANGLES Mary’s crucifix. JR’s eyes widen slightly: Did he recognize it? Impossible to tell.
NATALIE (reaches for spare pillow) “I love you.”
JR stares up at us… and as the pillow COVERS HIS FACE, the Christmas carol bleeds in…
NAT KING COLE, “Sleep in heavenly peace…”
THE END.
0 -
Sam Reynolds – mid point and reaction
What I am learning is that I just need to keep on going despite not knowing all the answers and not going back and fixing dialogue etc. Not easy for me but so good to do.
EXT. NADINE AND JOHNNY’S HOME – PORCH
Nadine approaches the porch. RACHEL, late 30S, dressed in a suit and reading a magazine, turns to see her.
NADINE
Rachel? Hi. This is unexpected.
RACHEL
I know. I just decided to come down for a bit.
NADINE
What about work? Aren’t traders supposed to not even sleep.
RACHEL
Supposedly. But this one got some time off for good behavior. I haven’t taken a break in years.
NADINE
I know. The entire family knows. So why now?
RACHEL
I had this time so Johnny invited me.
NADINE
Oh. He didn’t tell me.
RACHEL
Probably slipped his mind.
NADINE
Maybe.
RACHEL
Nice to see you too sis. It’s been ages. How are you feeling?
NADINE
Fine.
RACHEL
I’ve been worried about you.
NADINE
I am older than you.
RACHEL
I know. You don’t have to keep reminding me.
Rachel gets up and hugs Nadine who is now on the porch. Nadine half heartedly hugs her sister.
Nadine sees a suitcase by the front door.
NADINE
Plan on moving in.
RACHEL
Two weeks.
That’s too long for Nadine.
RACHEL
What?
NADINE
Just is a long time that’s all.
RACHEL
Can’t I come and visit my big sis.
NADINE
I guess.
Nadine needs to rest her back and sits on one of the porch chairs.
Silence.
NADINE
Let’s cut the crap Rachel. Why are you really here?
RACHEL
I have been thinking about you.
NADINE
You never think about anyone but yourself.
Why now? Why not a month ago? A week ago? Yesterday?
RACHEL
Nadine, I know it hasn’t been easy for you. I can’t imagine what it must feel like.
NADINE
No you can’t. No one can’t.
Johnny set you up for this didn’t he?
RACHEL
He is worried about you. He didn’t know what to do.
NADINE
About what?
RACHEL
About the pretending. The baby is not coming home.
NADINE
He told you? He … behind my back. What? Am I twelve.
RACHEL
His motives were purely out of love.
NADINE
I don’t care what his motives are. He needs to speak to me directly. I am his wife. His partner in all of this.
RACHEL
He loves you.
NADINE
Does he.
Silence.
NADINE
So you are to babysit me? Am I that deranged that I need a babysitter? What am I a child. I can do this on my own. I am older than you.
RACHEL
He is just concerned.
NADINE
For himself. This has nothing to do with me. All he cares about is what it all looks like to everyone else.
RACHEL
Why can’t you accept that you need help. You may not be able to do this all on your own.
NADINE
Watch me.
RACHEL
We all love you.
Nadine gets up and attempts to grab her shopping bags but it is a challenge due to her belly.
RACHEL
Here, let me help you inside.
Rachel reaches for Nadine’s shopping bag. Nadine pulls it from her.
NADINE
Leave me alone.
Nadine gets up and opens the front door. Rachel follows but Nadine lets the door hit Rachel in the face.
INT. BABY ROOM
Nadine runs into the room. She shuts the door, making sure no one is following her.
Nadine opens the walk in closet and hides the new sheets, towels, and drop cloths she bought.
INT. NADINE AND JOHNNY’S HOME – BEDROOM
Nadine furiously researches on her computer. Rachel knocks on the door.
RACHEL
Nadine. I am sorry. Can I come in and talk?
NADINE
No. Not interested.
Nadine continues to type.
Rachel retreats.
INT. NADINE AND JOHNNY’S HOME – NIGHT
Johnny arrives home from being out. He creeps in the house, hangs up his coat and heads upstairs.
INT. NADINE AND JOHNNY’S HOME – BATHROOM – NIGHT
Dark.
Nadine hears Johnny enter.
His footsteps get closer to the bathroom until he opens the door.
Before he can turn on the bathroom light, Nadine does. She has been waiting for him. This is a different Nadine. They are whispering so Rachel doesn’t hear.
JOHNNY
You scared me.
NADINE
You lied to me.
Nadine looks at him.
JOHNNY
It’s only temporary. I just thought it would make you feel better to have her here.
NADINE
How long have we been together?
JOHNNY
13 years.
NADINE
And in that time, how many times have I wanted to see my sister.
JOHNNY
Maybe 2.
NADINE
So, no it would make you feel better if she were here. Not me. We do not get along. Never have and never will. I don’t need a babysitter.
JOHNNY
Yes you do.
I am worried about you.
NADINE
You went behind my back Johnny. With her. A sister I don’t even talk to. She is practically a stranger to me.
Nadine sits on the toilet and goes pee.
JOHNNY
Really? Now?
NADINE
I have to go.
JOHNNY
I didn’t know what else to do.
NADINE
How about talking to me.
JOHNNY
You don’t listen to me anymore. You are behaving as if this baby is going to be born alive. She is not. She is dead.
NADINE
I know.
JOHNNY
Do you? Then why is the baby’s room all set up Nadine. Why are you behaving as if she is alive.
NADINE
Stop judging me.
Aren’t you the one who said everyone heals differently.
JOHNNY
Nadine.
NADINE
No. I am fine. She is leaving. I do not need a babysitter. I am not a child and do not need looking after. You should have asked me first.
JOHNNY
I knew you’d say no.
NADINE
Of course I would. Why are you making all of this more difficult for me. Are you trying to make this more difficult for me?
JOHNNY
No.
NADINE
Have you even thought what it is like to carry around your dead baby with everyone else thinking she is alive.
Johnny is silent.
NADINE
Of course not. What is happening is not normal. It is not the way nature is supposed to happen.
JOHNNY
I know. That’s why I want to help.
NADINE
Then ask her to leave tomorrow.
JOHNNY
I can’t.
NADINE
She lives a few hours away. She’s a workaholic.
It dawns on Nadine.
NADINE
You don’t trust me.
Johnny pauses.
JOHNNY
I think you are losing your shit and I don’t want to lose you too. I have already lost one person I love. I love…loved her.
Johnny begins to cry. Nadine watches him with little empathy.
NADINE
I am not going to hurt myself. I would have done that by now. You are not going to lose me.
JOHNNY
How do I know. You have been acting strange lately. You are not eating. You are up during all hours of the night. You are feeding a doll Nadine and pretending it is real. That’s not normal behavior.
NADINE
You don’t get it.
JOHNNY
Get what. Nadine, these are special circumstances. We are grieving and grieving is hard. It can make us do crazy things.
NADINE
I want this baby. I don’t know about you but I wanted this baby. I want to be a momma and now it will never happen. I am too old. I … my body is already tell me it will never happen again. That’s all I wanted is to be a momma.
JOHNNY
You are one.
NADINE
She is dead Johnny. I want a live baby.
NADINE
It’s too late.
Nadine moves to leave the bathroom.
NADINE
You do not need to take care of me. I can do that. I am 41 I think I can do that.
JOHNNY
Nadine, these are special circumstances. We are grieving and grieving is hard. It can make us do crazy things.
JOHNNY
I want you safe.
NADINE
I hate her and now I hate you too. She has to go. At least make this birth a private one with people I care about. I don’t want her here.
Nadine exits to the bedroom determined now to make her plan succeed.
0 -
Janeen’s Act 3 Reaction to Midpoint
What I learned doing this assignment is that I naturally fill in the extra scenes as I’m outlining the key scenes and it slows me down. It all evens out in the end.
INT. JYM’S OFFICE – DAY
JYM and MARTA are in Jym’s office.JYM
Ashley’s still in the hospital.They haven’t figured out exactly what triggered her collapse.
MARTA
Wasn’t it just her blood sugarspiking?
JYM
Yes, but they’re not sure why such asmall amount of extra carb would get such a wild response in her readings.
MARTA
She’s been on some sort of diet food,right?
JYM
PriPack – a really pricey pre-packagedfood the doctors in Ben’s office all prescribe.
MARTA What’s in those?
Jym googles the PriPack foods and they look at the ingredients.
JYM
There aren’t many sugars in them.MARTA
No, but the carbs are highly processedwhich means they start to turn to blood sugar while they’re still in your mouth. They’re at least as dangerous as sugar.
JYM
Could that cause her blood sugar tovary a lot?
MARTA
Absolutely. It could be part of thereason her pump and sensor have been so sensitive.
(MORE)
38.
MARTA (CONT’D)
People don’t realize that just becauseyour pump gives you the insulin you need to keep your blood sugar steady, that doesn’t mean you can eat whatever you want. All it means is that your pump is working overtime to keep things steady.
JYM
But surely the doctors that prescribethis stuff must know how it affects blood sugar.
MARTA
Maybe. Maybe if the product worksokay for people who have insulin pumps they don’t look any further.
JYM What are you saying?
MARTA
This kind of food with fast carbswill have her body react to the carbs with a blood sugar spike and then an insulin spike to get rid of the excess blood sugar. Once that’s been taken care of, her body will burn up stored glucose –
JYM
That the insulin just caused to bestored
MARTA
Right. And then, when that’s gone,her body will try to make it’s own blood glucose from stored fat.
JYM
Ketosis.
MARTA
Yes, although technically, ketosisis when that’s the primary source of blood glucose.
JYM
Right.
MARTA
Has Ashley complained about beingsuper-hungry before each meal.
39.
JYM
Yes. She’s super-human in thewillpower department. I don’t know how she’s stuck to this. She said she hadn’t lost much weight.
MARTA
No wonder. Her body’s been jerkedfrom one energy source to the other after every meal. No wonder a few extra carbs sent her into a tailspin. Poor kid!
INT. DOC’S OFFICE – DAY
BEN is in his office. DOC1 stops in.DOC1
I heard about the wife’s healthtrouble. How’s she doing?
BEN
She’s still in the hospital. They’rerunning more tests today to verify the pump is working correctly and see what’s going on with her glucose levels.
DOC1
I hope they get it sorted. Keep usposted!
He does a quick thumbs up and leaves.Ben ponders the offer letter from his uncle.
He looks at the wall chart. Stands and looks it over more closely.
He makes up his mind and returns to his desk to call his uncle.
BEN
Uncle Jerome, I’m accepting the offer.I don’t
Ashley.
I did. me in.
Right.
know if you heard about
UNCLE JEROME
Your Mama called me and filled Another day of tests, right?BEN (MORE)
40.
BEN (CONT’D)
I’ve been thinking it over thismorning and I think I need to take you up on the offer, but I’m not going to move Ashley and the kids until later. That’s too much stress on her. She’s just not up to a move.
UNCLE JEROME
They can take their time. It’ll beeasier if they’re not here at first anyway. You’re going to have a lot to read up on and it’s conference season so we’ll be on the road on weekends. You can Zoom or FaceTime or whatever with them if you have time, but I’m going to be keeping you very busy.
INT. JYM’S GYM – DAY
JYM and CAM are in her office.JYM
Now, more than ever, I understandhow important it is to prevent people from getting Type II. Nobody should be going through what Ashley does day after day. I really think our mission here is to help people avoid Type II. To help them lose weight now and get their blood sugar under control before it gets to Type II.
CAM
Agreed. How do we do that?JYM
I’ve got a LOT of diet informationhere — more than most people are likely to invest in when they have kids and a family to think of. I’m thinking of creating a library corner with a couple of chairs and a little bookcase for these. What do you think?
CAM That sounds good.
JYM
I’m going to run it by Marta too andI’m advising anyone starting a new diet to check with their doctor first.
41.
CAM Always good advice.
JYM
We’ve got some of our heavier clientswho don’t work out at all that need a more formal program. We show them exercises they can do when they join, of course.
CAM
The free hour with a personal trainer.JYM
Right. But they don’t last longbecause they’re on their own and it’s not fun. They keep looking at the other clients and comparing themselves to people who have always been more fit.
CAM
Right.
JYM
I’m putting together some simpleexercise classes for them so they
can bond a little, share successes, you know, that kind of thing. Take
a look and let me know what you think.CAM
I will.
CAM (CONT’D)
We can exchange. Here are the newblood sugar routines you had me put together. They’re not aerobic anymore, but include walking between sets rather than doing aerobics of some kind. Try them out and see if they’re what you were looking here.
JYM
Thanks, I will. I’ll miss your Fat-Busting class, but my willpower has been thriving since I stopped doing it.
CAM
You realize that very few of yourclients will continue with our old classes if you put these new ones out there.
42.
JYM
I do, but we’re here to serve ourclientele, not impress bodybuilders. Cam gives Jym a long lazy look.
CAM
You’re impressing the hell out ofone right now. It’s not wonder I’m crazy about you.
She just laughs and shoos him from her office. Then she settles in to read his new workouts.
INT. JYM’S GYM – CONTINUOUS
Cam walks away from Jym’s office shaking his head. Marta is walking by and stops him.MARTA
Why so glum? Did you gain a pound?Cam chuckles ruefully.
CAM
I can’t figure her out.MARTA Do you want to talk?
CAM
Yeah.
They head over to his desk and take a seat.CAM (CONT’D)
Where to start…You know that Jymand I were in the service at the same time, right?
Yeah, you
same gym.
MARTA
guys worked out at theCAM
had a serious crush on her she always just laughed atRight. I
then, but
me. I didn’t flirt with her then because she was an officer and I was enlisted.And now?
MARTA
43.
CAM
If I do or say things that I thinkare flirting, she just laughs at me. You guys are friends. Am I a big joke to her?
MARTA
No, let me see if I can explain it.Ever since she got out of the service and packed on some weight, her brother –
CAM The doctor?
MARTA
Yep. He’s let her know hounattractive she’s become because of the extra weight.
CAM
But that’s not true. She’s stillsmokin’ hot.
MARTA
Unfortunately, she thinks it true.CAM
How can I convince her it’s not?More compliments?
MARTA
It’s not that easy. She always saidthat while you two were in the service, it was common practice for guys in the gym to make remarks like I’ve see you do to her — compliments that I think you mean — but that the guys at the gym didn’t mean personally.
CAM
I always meant what I said. I stilldo.
MARTA
I believe you, but she spent her years in the military steeling herself against comments guys make in the gym about women’s bodies – hers in particular.CAM
So what should I do?MARTA
How is she when you’re not in thegym? What does she say then when you compliment her?
CAM
We never see each other outside thegym.
MARTA
That might just be your problem.Marta gives him a wink and a smile and leaves.
INT. JYM’S GYM – CONTINUOUS
MARTA’s phone rings and she answers. She sees that it’s Ben and leaves the gym to talk.
MARTA
Hi, Ben. What’s up?
BEN
You know my Uncle Jerome.MARTA
Of course. Great guy. Nothing’s happened, has it?BEN
Not that way. He wants to retire at the end of the year and wants me to take over his practice.
MARTA
Great!
She’s noncomittal, waiting to see what he wants.
BEN
He wants me out in XYZ on the fifteenth.MARTA
Of this month?
BEN
Yeah, but he’s got us booked at all of these conferences and sessions most weekends through Halloween and I don’t want to move the kids cross- country and then not be there to support them.MARTA
That makes sense. So what did you tell him?BEN
I told him yes today, but I haven’t talked to Ashley yet. I want to wait until she’s at home and stable before I break the news.MARTA
That makes sense. What do you need from me?BEN
I need you to be her local doctor when I’m out of town. Check up on her, monitor her blood sugar. You can call me if you need advice.MARTA
Wouldn’t it be better to have someone from your practice do that?BEN
You know Ashley. She won’t have anyone but me be her doctor, but you’ve always looked after her when I’ve gone to conferences or classes in the past. Will you do this for me? I promise I’ll check in with you as frequently as you want and I’ll never decline a call from you.Marta looks around the area, considering.
MARTA
I’m not sure. After the scare weekend, do you really want to her to an OB/GYN instead of an endocrinologist?BEN
I want to trust her to you because she’s friends with you and she trusts you and so do I. Please?MARTA I don’t know.
BEN
You’re our neighbor, we’ve all been friends all our lives. Pretty please?MARTA (deep breath)
Alright. I’ll do it.
BEN
Great! I’m going to tell her about the job tonight or tomorrow night.
I wanted to make sure you were already on board before I break it to her.0 -
Dale’s Act 3 Reaction to Midpoint
What I learned doing this assignment is… in how my character, who has acted most uncharacteristically, scrambles for a new plan to make everything right again (though it won’t work.)OUTLINE OF REACT/RETHINK SCENE:
Beginning: Richard catches Elizabeth just as she’s about to leave for the day.
Middle: He tries to persuade her to take their kiss seriously and she gives him all the reasons, both university regulations and rational ones, why it can’t go further.
End: She lets him know that they will only have necessary contact until this all “fades,” as she says, “all things of the heart fade. He sees she isn’t budging and he leaves.
INT. HALLWAY OUTSIDE ELIZABETH’S OFFICE
Richard arrives at Elizabeth’s office. He finds her locking her door, ready to leave.
RICHARD
Leaving?
ELIZABETH
Richard… I–
RICHARD
Don’t you think we should talk?
ELIZABETH
There’s nothing to talk about.
RICHARD
Really? It seems to me there is. You may have kicked me out, but you sure as hell kissed me before you did.
ELIZABETH
(looking around)
Shh! Keep your voice down.
RICHARD
Please, just let’s just… discuss this, rationally, before you go running off.
ELIZABETH
(hesitating, then…)
All right. Fine. Come inside.
INT. ELIZABETH’S OFFICE – CONTINUOUS
Richard starts to take a seat.
ELIZABETH
Don’t– sit down. You won’t be here that long. …Just say what you have to say.
RICHARD
Okay, are you planning… to just ignore what happened.
ELIZABETH
I think that would be best, yes.
RICHARD
But if we have feelings…
ELIZABETH
No. What we have is an infatuation. Which will pass. Which has to pass.
RICHARD
Why?
ELIZABETH
Come on. You know the university rules as well as I do.
RICHARD
Yeah but with graduate students… as long as you don’t have an advisory role…
ELIZABETH
And how do you think that’s going to happen? Even if I switch your TA-ship to another professor, this is a small department, Richard! You’re going to be in one of my seminars next semester. And you’ll need me to evaluate your proposition, or serve on your Ph.D. committee.
RICHARD
What are you suggesting we do?
ELIZABETH
We do nothing. Keep our contact to a minimum. Communicate by written word only.
RICHARD
For how long?
ELIZABETH
For as long as necessary.
RICHARD
But that could be for years!
ELIZABETH
No. I expect it will be far less. The truth is, Richard, it will fade. Like all things of the heart fade. You only have to wait it out.
RICHARD
You believe that?
ELIZABETH
I know it. Once we move past this little emotional aberration, we will be able to have a normal working relationship again. I would hate to give that up.
RICHARD
Aberration? Is that what you call it?
ELIZABETH
I know you’d rather not think of it that way, but that’s–
RICHARD
I think I love you!
ELIZABETH
No, do not say that! Can’t you see what this is?
RICHARD
No. What?
ELIZABETH
You came to this college already admiring me. Is it such a leap that once we started spending time together your admiration grew into attraction?
RICHARD
That’s exactly what happened!
ELIZABETH
Well, do you really think you’re the only student to experience that? Come on, it’s practically textbook.
RICHARD
Well what about you, then? Why did you kiss me back?
ELIZABETH
Ah well, that’s another cliche. Recently divorced woman. Feeling unusually vulnerable…
RICHARD
You can’t reduce us to these stereotypes.
ELIZABETH
I can if they fit. Now if you don’t mind…
She motions to the door.
RICHARD
Elizabeth.
ELIZABETH
My mind is made up.
He looks at her, and sees that clearly this is true. He opens the door and leaves.
Once he’s gone, she finds herself leaning a bit unsteadily against her desk. But she revives, squares her shoulders and walks out of her office, resolute.
0 -
Lesson 17: ACT 3 Scene 1
Mary Buchanan
What I learned from this assignment is the outline was easy because of all the prior details.
Outline of scenes
1 – Jake runs into Travis and gets mixed message about Becca Jake learns Liz is going on the hayride. He invites Becca as his guest. (New Plan) Becca has accident in snow and misses hayride and Travis kisses Liz on the hayride. Jake sings Please forgive me Sweetheart on hayride New plan
3. The bellhop reports his investigation to Director of security Travis asks Liz to date him. He shops for jewelry Jill thinks it’s a ring for Becca New Plan
4 THE fiasco wedding interrupted by security (Turining point)
5 Travis learns the truth that Liz is one-third owner of Bradford Inn and sees Jake kissing Liz. Liz tells Jake it is over forever. Travis leaves the hotel and heads for Florida. (Travis gives up. Liz gives up)
Scene INT OUTSIDE THE ELEVATOR DAY
Jake heads to rehearsal for Saturday night’s concert, runs into Travis, discovers Liz has a date for the hayride. Jake makes a new plan and invite’s Becca as his date to hayride.
TRAVIS
Hey, Jake Jones. Again, I enjoyed your concert last night. I ‘m one
of your biggeset fans.
JAKE
I’m glad you had fun.
TRAVIS
I have al your CD’s. Listen to them every day.
JAKE
You may be my biggest fan. (Pauses) Did you get all the sleeping arrangement
for you and Becca set?
TRAVIS
Yeah. There was plenty of room in my suite for her.JAKE
That’s good.
TRAVIS
I had a good time last night.
JAKE
Well, I need to get to rehearsal. Hope you get to another concert. He stops by the continental
breakfast table and sees treats. He selects a few cookies and grabs a water. The bellhop passes bu and hears Jake’s talking to himself.
JAKE (CONT)
I wonder how much money this woman has?
The bellhop immediately pulls out his pad. He writes
BELLHOP (V.O.)
Jake Jones takes the bait. (he looks up) I wonder if I will
get a promotion for solving this crime. He heads to the
security office.
Jake enters the lounge just at Sam gets a phone call.
JAKE (V.O.)
My plan has a problem. At least I got to see Lizzie and sing
for her. I need to say I love her, apologize for my
big mistake. That should turn her around in her thinking.
He goes on stage and picks up his guitar.
JAKE (V.O.)
If I can get her to one more concert, I will propose to
her on stage. Fans eat that crap up. What publicity
that will be.
He is strumming the guitar when Sam’s phone rings. Jake listens.
SAM
Hey, Girl. (pauses) Date for a hayride. Want me to go
at six as your chaperone? (He laughs) Have fun.
Jake hearing one side of the conversation, makes a call to Becca.
JAKE
Good afternoon, this is Jake Jones.
BECCA
Hello, Jake Jones.
JAKE
If you’re free tonight, I would like for you to go
on the hayride with me at six.
BECCA
I would love to go. Can we take a carriage ride
afterwards?
JAKE
I have a concert at eight. Maybe tomorrow night.
BECCA
That would be great. If we had dinner before, I could
hear about your big plan for investors.
JAKE
Let me check my schedule. See you a little before
six outside the lobby, tonight. Don’t’ forget a blanket.
Becca spends thirty minutes selecting her outfit for her date with Jake. She finally selects a white sweater and pants suit. She chooses red stilettos and a matching red scarf. Becca goes into the bathroom and turns on the water. She plans to soak for a few hours. She looks in the mirror and
screams
BECCA
I did not win the scavenger hunt. I have no money. My
luck must change. At least I have a date tonight. Jake must be
interested in me or he is trying to make Lizzie jealous. A puzzle
I must solve.
.
Scene INT BRADFORD INN NIGHT
Becca enters the lobby and walks gracefully to the outside porch. Every man in the lobby looks
at her. She positions herself near one of the big column near the steps. AS she leans against
the column, she remembers she did not bring a blanket. The temperature is colder. She starts
shivering but doesn’t have time to return to her suite for the blanket. She is looking for Jake
and doesn’t see the little girl running up the steps.
The little girl slips and slides into Becca who tries to grab the column, but its too big and she roll off
the porch into a pile of snow. She screams. The bellhop runs outside and sees red heels in the
air. When he tries to pull Becca out of the snow, he slips and falls on top of her. Two men witness
what happened and help pull the bellhop and Becca out of the snow. Becca’s white outfit is
now dirty and wet. Her hair is dripping on her wet sweater. She is cold and her makeup is sliding off her face. Becca looks at the little girl and recognizes the little is the one who won the $1,000 ornament this morning. People are gathering in the lobby to see what is going on outside. Becca holds her head high and waltzes through the crowd like the ghost of Christmas past. A trial of water and dirt follow her along the tile floor. She doesn’t speak. She walks like a model with her nose in the air. She enters the elevator and closes the door.
Jake sees the crowd gathered in the lobby and exits another door to avoid the crowd. He is carrying his guitar. He looks for Becca, but can’t wait for her. He wants to be the first on the hayride.
Travis comes downstairs and sees the desk clerk mopping the floor in the lobby. Annabelle is talking to a little girl and her mother. The crowd is moving around. He meanders through the group and sees Liz
coming from the lounge area. He waves to her. He waits and they walk out side and get on the hayride
on the back.
As the trailer pulled away from the inn, a slight snow began to fall. The passengers say “AAHH”. Liz takes the big blanket and Travis helps her wrap up. The two of them form a cocoon. Tha’s when Jake sees Lizzie with Travis.
JAKE
I want to welcome everyone to the hayride. I will be providing theentertainment for the first trip. Tonight, I am debuting a song. It’s
called “Please Forgive me Sweetheart”.
When Jake starts singing, Liz cringes and moves closer to Travis.
TRAVIS
You don’t like country music, do you?
LIZ
No, but I will listen to it because I know you do.
She lays her head on his shoulder.
TRAVIS
I know a way to tune Jake Jones out of our minds.
LIZ
Do you have ear plugs?
TRAVIS
No.
LIZ
That’s the only way.
TRAVIS
No, there’s another way.
He leans down and kisses her.
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Melanie’s Act 3 Reaction to Midpoint
What I learned: I need to be able to separate turning points from reactions. I tend to blend them into one scene.
Key Scene 1: Sybil strategizes the rest of her ride
Beginning: Draws a map of her route on the floor of the barn.
Middle: She decides to use deception in order to get rid of Samuel. She’ll leave parts of her clothes in trees to lead him down the wrong path.
End: She heads out with a plan.
INT. BARN – NIGHT
A stick draws into the dirt floor of the barn. Pulling back, the lines make a circuitous map of the road. It wraps around in an oval leading back to an “X” marked as “Home”. It’s a long road. Towns are marked by smaller squares on the road – “Carmel,” ‘Mahopac Falls,” “Mahopac Mines,” “Kent Cliffs,” “Farmers Mills,” and “Stormville.”
SYBIL
It’s about forty miles and we’ll never make it with him chasing us. What would father do?
An idea comes to her and she slowly she circles a road that leads off her path.
SYBIL
Here.
She takes off the boy’s hat that she’s been wearing. Her long hair falls at her shoulders. Then she takes off the trousers and shirt, her petticoats fall down.
SYBIL
These will come in handy.
She wraps her cape around her again, takes one more look at Star’s wound which has stabilized, is dressed and has stopped bleeding.
SYBIL
We do this together. Ready? We don’t have much time.
She throws open the barn door, and quietly gets into the saddle, making sure to avoid the bandage.
Star stamps on the map in the dirt on the way out but not all of it is erased.
They ride out again into the moonlit road, riding away from the barn and the farmhouse next door.
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Ricardo Williams Act 3 Reaction to Midpoint
Jolyn has made a major breakthrough in becoming the first African American woman to own a concession stand at Chicago O’Hare Airport. She now own 5 stands. Her celebration is short lived as the Aviation Department delays her ability to open the stands for 6 months due to newly installed airport regulations. The delay has put a financial strain on her company as she was paying employees for stalls that were not operating and also paying a mortgage on the stalls. In the meantime she has won the Minority Entrepreneur of the Year Award because of her accomplishments. She must now rethink either keeping the stalls or selling them.
3. Answer the question “What I learned doing this assignment is…?” and put it at the top of your work.
EXT. AMERICAN NATIONAL BANK LOBBY – MORNING
JOLYN pacing the lobby of the bank waiting for a loan specialist. Stipulations enforced by the CHICAGO AVIATION AGENCY has delayed the opening of the airport concession stands by 6 months. She needs a loan to offset the expenses caused by the delay. A white loan officer MR. BLAND in his twenties, approaches her to discuss her loans.
MR. BLAND
MRS. ROBICHAUX, we are very concerned with your financial statements for the last two quarters. Seems like you’ve been losing money.
JOLYN
I apologize MR. BLAND, but we were experiencing some difficulties with our airport stores that were closed due to new airport regulations. They have since resolved the issues, so things are going to improve.
MR. BLAND
So you are the CEO of the company?
JOLYN
Yes, I am.
MR. BLAND
Why, at your age would you want to run a company? My mom is your age and she stays at home taking care of her grandchildren.
JOLYN
I’m sorry MR. BLAND, but I am not your average grandma.
MR. BLAND
Tell you what MRS. ROBICHAUX, I am seeing some troubling signs in your financial statements. You’ve been bleeding cash. We also have a letter on file that alerts us about your state of mind.
JOLYN
What letter are you talking about? I’ve been a loyal customer with your bank for 15 years.
MR. BLAND
The letter we have is on your letterhead and it is signed.
JOLYN
I need a copy of that letter.
MR. BLAND hands JOLYN a copy of the letter. She stares on the signature, her eyes bulging with disbelief, the words TROY THOMAS is written in the signature box. A cold feeling of fear runs through her veins. She feels like her world has crumbled.
MR. BLAND
MRS. ROBICHAUX, I am afraid we’ll have to ask you to pay off your loans. I am giving you 6 months to do so.
JOLYN
It is impossible to pay up in 6 months with my airport stores struggling. I guess I won’t be doing business with your bank anymore. I am going to move my accounts.
EXT. LOBBY OF EXCHANGE BANK – DAY
JOLYN walks aimlessly through the lobby of EXCHANGE BANK, she is worried and conflicted when a gentleman approaches her.
MR. CARTER
Hello there. I know you. What are you doing here?
JOLYN
MR. CARTER from AMERICAN NATIONAL BANK? (JOLYN looks puzzled).
MR. CARTER
I am now the Vice President of Exchange Bank.
JOLYN
MR. CARTER in all my years of dealing with American National Bank, I have never had a problem, but today a loan officer turned down my request and called my loans. He gave me 6 months to pay them off.
MR. CARTER
What happened?
JOLYN
Our business is booming and we expanded to O’Hare Airport. We invested $1 million to build 5 concession stands and when we were about to open, the Aviation Department stalled us for 6 months. We are open now, but the delays put us in a hole when it comes to cash.
MR. CARTER
Come with me, let me look into it.
JOLYN follows MR. CARTER to his office. He closes the door behind her and offers her a seat.
INT. CARTER’S OFFICE – DAY
MR. CARTER shuffles through some files. He stops at a letter from BALDWIN ICE CREAM COMPANY.
MR. CARTER
I see the problem.
JOLYN
What problem?
MR. CARTER
MRS. ROBICHAUX, do you have a manager named PAUL THOMAS?
JOLYN
Don’t tell me you have a letter signed by him. Do you?
MR. CARTER
Yes. We have a letter on file signed by him stating that you are mentally incompetent and is forbidden from doing any business transactions under Baldwin Ice Cream Company.
JOLYN
I’ll be darned. I knew something wasn’t right? I was being turned down in all my business transactions.
MR. CARTER
He must have sent out letters to everyone you’ve done business with.
JOLYN
He is no longer with the company, but he had an insider feeding him the information. What am I supposed to do?
MR. CARTER
Those fools don’t know you as I know you. I have seen you get out of some tough scrapes and you will get out of this one. I can help you. Let me transfer your accounts to Exchange Bank. We will assume the balance of your loans and give you an additional $75,000 to help ease your burden.
JOLYN
You are such a life saver. Thank you. (She is hugging him frantically).
INT. BALDWIN ICE CREAM HEADQUARTERS – DAY
JOLYN holds a board meeting to give updates on the company’s direction.
JOLYN
We made history by becoming the first Black-owned company to have concession stands at the airport, but it has cost us dearly. We overcame a brief moment of sabotage that caused The Aviation Department to delay our openings. It means we were paying mortgages on businesses we couldn’t open, and we were paying managers, who were not able to work. Luckily, the city council has allowed us to open, but financially, we were in a big hole. We have secured new loans with Exchange Bank to get us back on track.
CHARLOTTE
Do you ever listen, JOLYN? What happened to our mission statement that says We are a Wholesale Company? Everything is all about JOLYN. JOLYN decides she wants 5 concession stands. Where does she get the money from? The Bank. Can’t you see the Bank owns this company? I thought we were supposed to be focusing on Wholesale Distribution. All you are doing is throwing money at Retail. We are making money in wholesale and throwing it all away in retail. What happened to the DYNAMIC DUO? I thought we were a team? I am sorry, but I can’t go along with this madness. I am leaving.
JOLYN
CHARLOTTE, we’ve been trying for over ten years to break into the Whole Sale market and nothing has happened. We can’t keep all our eggs in one basket.
CHARLOTTE
Every Retail move has lost money so far, and you’ve committed to five retail outlets? It makes no sense. I am out of here.
JOLYN
THEN GET OUT. GET OUT. (Jolyn is pretty loud). Get out. (Her words are softer and slower. Her voice is shaking with hurt). GET OUT. GET TO FUCK OUT. (She is loud again as she watches Charlotte leave.
INT. OFFICE OF BALDWIN ICE CREAM CO – DAY – 1985
It’s a slumber time at the BALDWIN ICE CREAM CO. Retail sales have plummeted due to the Chicago Tribune newspaper article about crime in the Third Ward. JOLYN is looking at the pile of mail on her desk. She notices a letter from the UNITED STATES DEPARTMENT OF COMMERCE. She nervously opens the letter. That cold feeling of ear builds again. The words of the letter send shock waves through her. She yells out for SAUL ABRAHAMSON.
SAUL ABRAHAMSON
What is it MRS. ROBICHAUX?
JOLYN
The UNITED STATES GOVERNMENT has awarded us the MALCOLM BALDRIDGE MINORITY ENTREPRENEUR OF THE YEAR AWARD for 1985.
Screams are heard throughout the office as JOLYN spreads the news. Scenes of high fives and lots of celebration.
INT. HOME – NIGHT
JOLYN is on the cover of N’digo magazine. She shows the magazine to ZENOBIA and hands her a Forbes magazine pointing to an article about her.
ZENOBIA
Wow. Is that you? I was so wrong about you. My son would have been so proud of you. (She hugs Jolyn).
INT. HOME – DAY
JOLYN hands MRS. HOWARD a cup of tea. They sit on the sofa.
MRS. HOWARD
Look at you on the cover of magazines. Your dad would have been so proud of you.
JOLYN
Oh MOTHER, I can see his face lighting up and he lifting me up and swinging me all around the room. I miss him so much.
MRS. HOWARD
I miss him too. Now what are you going to do about CHARLOTTE? I can’t have a rift between you too. It is not acceptable.
JOLYN
I’ve reached out to her, but to no avail.
MRS. HOWARD
I will talk to her again, but you should keep reaching out to her.
INT. OFFICE OF BALDWIN ICE CREAM CO – DAY
SAUL ABRAHAMSON greets JOLYN. His excitement is beaming from his face.
SAUL ABRAHAMSON
Look at you. You are in Forbes. You are gracing the covers of prominent magazines. You are on TV and in newspapers. You are a star.
JOLYN
Well thank you, MR. ABRAHAMSON. I think this is the perfect time for us to take our sales to the national level.
SAUL ABRAHAMSON
Now wait MRS. ROBICHAUX, I think you should focus on here in Chicago. Let’s say, you open a model store with the idea of creating a franchise. That will build some momentum.
JOLYN
I am tired of retail and I’m burnt out with being stuck here in Chicago. I want us to branch out on a national scale. I want to bring our focus back to wholesale.
SAUL ABRAHAMSON
I think you should wait.
JOLYN
Wait for what? What are we waiting for? (Her voice is elevated).
SAUL ABRAHAMSON
I am not liking your tone.
JOLYN
Can you help me SAUL. Can you at least help me over this hurdle. Put in a good word for me?
SAUL ABRAHAMSON
I wish I could, but it is not in my assignment to make such decisions for your business.
JOLYN
You don’t get it, don’t you? You don’t see the vision. You don’t see things beyond the Black Belt that has caged us and clipped our wings like pigeons. You don’t see our obsession with retail that has been eating through our resources like a cancer. You don’t get it. (Jolyn is shaking her head in frustration).
INT. OFFICE OF BALDWIN ICE CREAM CO – MORNING
JOLYN meets with SAUL ABRAHAMSON.
JOLYN
I’ve decided to go National. I think it’s the only way forward. We have to move beyond the confines of the Black community otherwise we won’t survive. I am going all in with radio and television ads throughout the country and I conducting interviews to reach a wide audience.
SAUL ABRAHAMSON
When I came to you, business was crawling. I’ve seen you walk, and I know you are capable of running. I know it’s hard, but you can do it. If you want to build a model company in the Chicago community I can help you, but beyond that, I can’t.
JOLYN
I appreciate your years of service, but I have to let you go.
SAUL ABRAHAMSON
You are firing me?
JOLYN
INT. OFFICE OF BALDWIN ICE CREAM CO – DAY
JOLYN opens a letter on her desk. It is from the Federal Government. They are suing Baldwin Ice Cream. She calls for an immediate meeting with the drivers. She is holding the letter, her hands shaking uncontrollably.
JOLYN
Are there any, any drivers here using underage kids to off load deliveries?
DRIVER 1
We’ve done it in the past, but we no longer do.
JOLYN
Well, I have a letter from the Federal government suing our company. They claim our drivers are using underage boys as helpers. Seven months ago, they were awarding us with the Entrepreneur of the Year Award and today, they are suing us.
DRIVER 2
MRS. ROBICHAUX, we shouldn’t be charged with something everybody does. All the delivery drivers for other stores do exactly that.
JOLYN
We are going to fight this. We are not giving in.
INT. CAFE – DAY
RITA ROGERS sits with JOLYN for lunch.
JOLYN
The Federal government is suing me for what they are calling driver’s aid. They are saying our drivers employ under-aged boys to help them off load our trucks. I am going to fight them every step of the way.
RITA ROGERS
In my experience, nobody brings the Federal government to court and wins. These cases normally drag on for years. You may as well pay them. What are they asking?
JOLYN
They want us to pay $500 a day with back pay stemming from the alleged violation.
RITA ROGERS
That’s impossible.
JOLYN
It is, and that’s why I am going to fight it.
RITA ROGERS
What evidence do they have?
JOLYN
I don’t know. They are asking anyone who has off loaded our trucks in the past to come forward with a promise to compensate them. I’ll show those fools how to run an investigation.
INT. OFFICE OF BALDWIN ICE CREAM COMPANY – DAY
JOLYN is seated in her office. She receives a package. It is from an investigator. It contains labelled photos. She writes a letter. She reads the letter aloud.
JOLYN (V.O.)
In the matter of the Federal Government vs. Baldwin Ice Cream Company, we understand your concern about the use of minors as drivers’ aid. We at Baldwin Ice Cream Company have a strict policy against such procedures. If you have any proof of our drivers engaging in such acts please provide them to me and we will be happy to investigate the issue. In the meantime, here are photographs showing 6 major White corporations engaging in the use of drivers’ aid with minors. Hope this helps with your investigation and we look forward to hearing from you soon.
JOLYN seals the envelope and addresses it to the Federal Government.
INT. FEDERAL GOVERNMENT – DAY
FEDERAL AGENT picks up the letter on his desk from BALDWIN ICE CREAM COMPANY. He reads it aloud, then looks at the photographs.
FEDERAL AGENT
Son of a Bitch.
INT. CHICAGO DINER – DAY
JOLYN meets with RITA ROGERS.
JOLYN
I’ve received a letter from the Federal Government. They have dropped the charges against Baldwin Ice Cream Co.
RITA ROGERS
How did that happen?
JOLYN
I simply volunteered to help them with their investigations and sent them some photographs of several major corporations that are engaging in driver’s aid, the actions we are accused of. The Federal Government would need to go after the powerful white organizations to appear equitable when taking Baldwin down.
RITA ROGERS
They underestimated your tenacity.
INT. OFFICE OF CHICAGO AVIATION AGENCY – DAY
JOLYN meets the MANAGER of Chicago Aviation Agency to discuss her plans to close the airport concession stands.
AVIATION MANAGER
MRS. ROBICHAUX, if you close your 5 stands it will look bad on you. You have been in the news for your groundbreaking accomplishments. We need you to stay.
JOLYN
No, it would look bad on you.
It makes no business sense for me to keep the locations. We are not turning in a profit and it is draining our wholesale finances. I will close the stands and accept my losses.
AVIATION MANAGER
I don’t want that kind of headlines for our department. We may have a buyer if you would like to consider that option.
JOLYN
Sure. I would be happy to sell.
AVIATION MANAGER
That would be a better option. We get a lot of people inquiring about concession stands.
INT. OFFICE OF BALDWIN ICE CREAM CO – DAY
JOLYN is going through her accounting books. A Japanese gentleman is standing at her door.
MR. WU
Hello MRS. ROBICHAUX.
JOLYN
Yes. Come in. How can I help you?
MR. WU
My name is MR. WU. The Chicago Aviation Agency recommended that I speak to you. I am looking to purchase your concession stands at O’Hare Airport.
JOLYN
Are you in the ice cream business?
MR. WU
Our company sells steaks, and we are looking to expand. Would you be interested?
JOLYN
Most definitely.
MR. WU
I will need your five locations.
JOLYN
You’ve got it.
INT. OFFICE OF BALDWIN ICE CREAM CO – DAY – 1989
JOLYN is seated in her office. She writes a check to pay off Exchange Bank. The phone rings. JOLYN answers. It’s the Marketing Director Rodney Doyle of Jewel stores.
JOLYN
How can I help you MR. DOYLE?
RODNEY DOYLE (V.O.)
MRS. ROBICHAUX, we at JEWEL STORES will like to stock your products in all our 214 grocery stores nationwide.
JOLYN
WHAT? You will?
RODNEY DOYLE (V.O.)
Yes, MRS. ROBICHAUX we want to stock your products nationwide. Now there is one catch to this. We want the packages to meet the standards of the JEWEL Brand. You will need you to come up with a carton down payment of $100,000. Our package to you comes with guaranteed unlimited shelf space, and newspaper sales ads. Do you accept our offer?
JOLYN
I do. I do accept.
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Bob Colley – Act 3 Reaction to Midpoint
What I learned doing this assignment is I’m suffering from covid fatigue and alcoholism.
EXT. CONSTRUCTION SITE – DAY
As the pallet started swaying Kyle shoots the remaining gunman who popped his head out from the stairwell to see what was going on.
Kyle then lowers John to the ground. John jumps off the pallet and meets Kyle as he exits the crane.
KYLE
What the hell was that?
JOHN
Cynthia was picked off the root by a personal drone.
I wanted that bitch so bad I didn’t realize how high that was.
John wipes his brow with the back of his hand and looks around for his gun but can’t see it anywhere.
JOHN (con’t)
Can you see my gun?
Kyle helps John look around.
JOHN (con’t)
Lift that pallet up again.
Kyle climbs in the crane and lifts the pallet up several feet. John sees his gun and pulls the pieces out with a rake.
JOHN (con’t)
Fuck. Cynthia was the wife of the terrorist suspect from the
raid that went south. She and the kid weren’t supposed to be
there and she was taken for interrogation but escaped.
John walks over to the trailer and drops the pieces of his gun inside.
JOHN (con’t)
I get the feeling that the husband wasn’t the mastermind
we thought and Cynthia has been under the radar and totally underestimated.
KYLE
The FBI has been putting resources into foreign terrorist
cells in country, mostly wrote your town bombing off as some
redneck bullshit and you’re telling me crazy bitch and her
gang are the ones planning a major attack?
JOHN
The way the drones targeted sites. They were GPS enabled
drones fitted with C4. When they got to their destination ..
KYLE
Boom.
JOHN
Yeah. Boom.
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DeRuve’s Act III Reaction to Midpoint
What I learned doing this assignment is I am stuck. I’ve been really struggling. Losing confidence day by day with this.
INT. RHINO’S HOUSE – NIGHT
Twenty empty beer cans pile up in and around the sink, Rhino cracks another. The news is on in the background. He takes a big first gulp and stumbles back towards the couch.
ANCHOR
Twenty year old Marvin Clayton knocked out the hometown Rhino in the first last night, and to be honest, Perisi didn’t put up much of a fight. Now one fight away from his hundredth career fight, but after two first round knockouts, it’s time to start worrying about his safety.
Rhino chugs his beer and walks towards the sink. Beside the mirror is a portrait of seventeen year old Rhino wearing boxing gloves in a fighters stance. He grabs the picture. Cannoli watching him from his bed.
RHINO
Y’know who that is, boy?
(beat)
Me neither.
He drops his now empty can in the sink and sticks the picture back where it was.
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Gayle’s Act 3 Reaction to Midpoint
What I learned doing this assignment is this really is a 20% draft. I am only putting down guideposts and will have to go back when I have more time to fill in the rest of the rough draft before I even get to 50% complete. And I am fine with that.
KEY SCENES ACT 3
1. React/Rethink: Rick realizes he loves Samantha and his ego chasing fame and not doing his share of the real ghost busting work was standing in the way of their happiness
2. New plan: Rick and Samantha learn Djinn is controlling everyone and since he locked them in – they need to translate the book to find the right spell to contain him.
3. Things Start Well, Until: Josie translates the spell releasing Samantha –until it also releases the djinn…
4. Turning Point: Djinn goes into Josie who kills the Cowboy (sending him into particles) and tries to kill everyone else by setting a fire and walking away in Josie’s body.
Midpoint – Rick has insight into why Samantha wants a divorce; sees his old ways don’t cut it anymore; ups his game – changing to realize he must do half the work.
Reaction/Rethink – Rick teams with Caroline and the ghosts to follow Samantha’s instructions to find the correct ritual to get her out.
KEY SCENE 1
BEGINNING – Rick works with Caroline and the ghosts to follow Samantha’s instructions to find the ritual book
MIDDLE – Rick comes up with a plan that Samantha compliments him on which is a step toward reconciliation
END – Rick is able to see Caroline is not responsible and it was the Djinn in control all along.
INT. LIVING ROOM – DAY
RICK: Right, what do you want me to do?
INT. ATTIC LIMBO
SAMANTHA: We need to find the {NAME OF BOOK}. Caroline. Where did you first use it?
INTERCUT – LIVING ROOM/ATTIC
CAROLINE: In the crawl space.
SAMANTHA: Rick, go up there and see if you find any evidence—
RICK: You mean like ectoplasm or EVP {THINGS FOUND IN PARANORMAL INVESTIGATION}? I could put the language through a translation program to see if there’s an unknown entity behind this.
SAMANTHA: Good thinking.
RICK: Really?
SAMANTHA: Absolutely. It’s exactly what I would do.
RICK: I guess I’m starting to listen.
COWBOY: About time.
CAROLINE: Stop. You’re ruining the moment. He’s growing.
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Aline’s Act 3 Reaction to Midpoint
With the need for a “change in meaning” at the midpoint I added a layer that I didn’t have at first in my story outline. The outlining of Act 3 major scenes became the re-arranging and revamping of the plot altogether. Once I focused on fixing the problems and asking “ what would happen here” now that the extra layer exists… The structure still stands and the protagonist gets to deal with higher stakes every time. The subtlety of “why” this character needs to do that is getting tricky and I feel like a surgeon trying to connect the dots with intention and believability.
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Adam’s Act 3 REACTION TO MIDPOINT
What I learned is that keeping the old ways moving to the new ways in mind all the time helps make story decisions easier.
INT. KITCHEN – MORNING
Beginning: Les and has kids sit silently eating their breakfast. They listen to the news which reports that 4.3 Billion people have died. All the soul has been drained from them. The news anchor, which has to speak the propaganda, says how all housed will be visited, eventually, for reassessment. We all have to do our part to get back to the new normal.
Middle: Les calls Jen. They’re going to be coming around, searching for dissenters, we need to come together. We can’t go into this future. She says she knows of an underground network of people who have been preparing for something like this for a while.
End: Les and the kids pack their things and leave.
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