-
Post Your Lesson 18 Assignment Here
Reply and post your assignment here.
-
15 Replies
-
Dave Holloway’s Act 3 Middle Scenes
What I learned doing this assignment is that the speed-writing technique helps me see the key elements of a scene that need to be developed.
Key Scene 2 Outline
BEGINNING: Roger and Nigel arrive at the train station at the eastern border of Shiloh. Nigel has two days’ growth of bear and wears a hat, hoping to disguise himself from any cameras.
MIDDLE: Knowing they will probably be detected if they try to enter through the regular gate, they follow the 15-foot wall that encloses the state out into the countryside.. A tree grows close to the wall. They climb it, then swing from a limb to gain a handhold on the wall’s top edge and pull themselves up.
END: Below them is a river. They don’t know how deep it is. Nigel volunteers to jump and find out. He jumps and plunges into the water, his feet lightly touching the bottom, then springs back up. Roger follows him. They swim to the bank and walk away.
Key Scene 3 Outline
BEGINNING: They reach a lightly-travelled highway. Nigel walks out into the road and stops a car, then the two of them go to the driver’s side and convince the driver to get out.
MIDDLE: They drive to the capital of Vicksburg, where the prison holding Livia is located.
END: When they arrive in Vicksburg, they see it is a place of seemingly total control. Cameras record everyone walking along the street, broadcasting their images on tele-boards, billboards that show videotape. All-white police cars are plentiful on the streets. They check into a hotel, unsure how they can ever overcome this totalitarian state.
Key Scene 2
EXT. TRAIN STATION – Day
Nigel and Roger step down from the train. Nigel, attempting to disguise himself, wears a hat and has two days’ growth of beer on his face. Fifty yard ahead, they see the gate to enter Shiloh. Guards there check the identification of anyone entering by foot or car. There is a bus to Vicksburg, but again a guard is checking ID’s before anyone boards it.
ROGER: Not much chance of getting through.
NIGEL: Livia said hidden cameras photograph everyone coming into the state. Let’s take a walk and try to figure out a way to get in.
They walk along the exterior of the 15-foot wall around the state, following it out into the countryside. They see farm fields growing corn. They enter a grove of trees. Roger spots a tree that grows close to the wall.
ROGER: I think we might be able to get up into that tree and swing out from a limb to grasp the top of the wall.
NIGEL: Worth a try.
Roger climbs up into the tree, shinnies out onto a limb, drops down to swing from the limb, then rocks back and forth until he gains momentum to swing across to the wall. He grasps the top with his hands, then pulls himself up. He stands at the top of the wall.
ROGER: Have a go, Nigel.
NIGEL: Don’t have much choice, do I.
Nigel repeats Roger’s actions, swings across to the wall and grabs hold. Roger helps him lift himself to the top.
NIGEL: Can’t believe I did it.
Below them is a river. It’s impossible to see how deep it is.
ROGER: Guess I’d rather land in water than hard ground.
NIGEL: I’ll chance it, Rog.
Roger looks at him with surprise. Nigel looks down, prepares himself, and jumps. He plunges ten feet down into the water, and his feet lightly touch the bottom as he springs back up. He looks up at Roger, exhilarated.
NIGEL: It’s quite deep, mate. Nothing to worry about.
Roger jumps and surfaces.
NIGEL: Water’s quite nice, actually.
They laugh and swim to the river bank, pull themselves out and begin walking.
KEY SCENE 3
They walk two hundred yards toward a road. Lone cars occasionally pass. When another car approaches, Nigel walks out into the road and holds his hands up for it to stop. The car stops, and the two approach the driver’s window. The MAN inside the car rolls the window down.
NIGEL: I’m sorry, sir. But we need to borrow your car.
MAN: What do you mean, borrow my car?
ROGER: We don’t want to do you any physical harm, sir. So it’s best to just get out of the vehicle.
The man looks at them for a moment. Then he gets out of the car. Nigel gets in behind the wheel, and Roger on the passenger side.
NIGEL: We’ll make every effort to take care of your car, sir.
They drive off.
ROGER: You’re getting pretty ballsy, mate. Stopping the bloke’s car like that.
NIGEL: No time to waste, now.
They drive a while, then a white police car starts flashing its light and sounding its siren behind them. Nigel slows, but the car passes them without breaking speed.
NIGEL: My heart froze when I heard that siren.
ROGER: I wasn’t too comfortable, either.
They continue driving until the reach Vicksburg. It is early evening, and the sidewalks are mostly empty. They can see, on billboards along the street, their car driving along, captured on unseen cameras.
ROGER: My God. That’s a good way to keep people under control.
NIGEL: Brave new world.
Nigel looks up a side street and sees a worn-looking neon sign that reads, Hotel. He parks the car, and they walk toward it.
NIGEL: Remember – we can’t use our real names.
They open the front door of the hotel and walk inside.
-
Mary Ellevold’s Act 3 Middle Scenes
1. Outline Key Scenes 2 & 3.
2. Write Key Scene 2: Makes a new plan. Counter Conditioning at the Aquarium, but Kat changes signs, Jon caught in shark and eel tank.
-
Melanie’s Act 3 Key Middle Scenes
What I learned: Keep going!
Key Scene 2: Make a new plan
Beginning: Sybil plants torn clothes down a road leading away from her route
Middle: Samuel takes the bait
End: Sybil goes back to her route to try to wake the town of Carmel.
Key Scene 3: Things go well, until…
Beginning: Sybil makes it to the town of Carmel, managing to throw Samuel off her course.
Middle: She bangs on the doors of the townspeople – eager to spread the word and finally get to her mission.
End: They don’t believe her and they refuse to leave!
EXT. ROAD – CONTINUOUS
Sybil rides fast towards the next town…Carmel. On the outskirts, she slows looking for the road she had circled on the dirt floor.
At the fork in the road, she RIPS a piece of the trousers planting it in a tree. She rides a bit further, planting another torn piece of cloth in the bush.
They circle back, and hide at the fork.
Soon, they see Samuel coming. He finds the torn trousers and takes the bait. He speeds down the road. Sybil smiles, victorious.
SYBIL
It worked! He doesn’t know these roads like we do.
CUT TO:
EXT. ROAD – LATER
Samuel picks one of the last remnants of cloth stuck to a branch, and stops his horse. He continues a little bit further down the road, now much slower.
He stops his horse again. Examines the piece of cloth.
SAMUEL
Strange.
He listens in the distance but hears nothing.
SAMUEL
How could he get caught in so many trees?
Quickly, he turns his horse around, heading back the direction he came. Throws the evidence to the ground.
SAMUEL
We’ve been had.
He tears back down the road.
CUT TO:
EXT. TOWN OF CARMEL – LATER
Sybil gallops through the sleeping town. She stops at a house, gets off Star and runs to the front door.
BANG! BANG! BANG!
She thuds on the door. It opens slowly revealing a tall MAN with a gun.
MAN
What’s the meaning of this, child?
SYBIL
The British are coming!
MAN
What are you talking about?
A Woman joins him at the door, straight out of bed.
SYBIL
They are attacking Danbury! You must hurry!
They look behind her but see nothing.
WOMAN
Child, go home. IT’s late.
SYBIL
Please. You have to get up!
MAN
I don’t see anything. No go back to your home wherever that is.
They SLAM the door in her face.
She freezes for a second – not expecting this reaction.
She runs to the second house – BANG! BANG! This time no one opens the door.
SYBIL
The British! They’re here! Hurry!
MAN 2
Go away! It’s the middle of the night!
The third house is the same.
MAN 3
We’re trying to sleep!
Sybil is shocked and gets back on her horse. She spurs Star to go, shell-shocked and disappointed.
CUT TO:
-
Dale’s Act 3 Middle Scenes (Key Scenes 2 & 3)
-Makes a New Plan: She puts into effect the new plan of avoiding Richard in any situation where they might be alone – keeping everything very professional. She also tells Barbara about what happened, enlisting her help.
-Things seem to be okay, but… when she meets with Barbara asserting the rightness of her plan of personal distance and professional only contact, Barbara starts try to discover why Elizabeth kissed Richard and what her true feelings towards him might be.
OUTLINE OF KEY SCENES 2 & 3
Scene 2: Montage (Makes a New Plan)
OUTLINE:
MONTAGE:
Beginning: We see Elizabeth in her lecture hall, seeing Richard surrounded by female students and feeling jealous, despite herself. But, using her new plan, she makes sure not to be caught alone as she’s leaving the class, so Richard can’t approach her.
Middle: In the faculty lounge, she makes sure and leaves there when she sees Richard arriving. Richard comes to her office only to find it locked.
End: Richard receives a group email from Elizabeth which is quick and efficient.
Scene 3 (Things Seem to be Okay, But…)
INT. RESTAURANT – DAY
Beginning: Barbara and Elizabeth meet for Sunday brunch. Barbara takes a plateful, but Elizabeth has very little food on hers. Barbara asks her what’s wrong
Middle: After much hesitation, Elizabeth finally confesses what happened with Richard, but says she’s going to avoid him, only deal with him professionally.
End: But Barbara questions her as to her real feelings, and questions the feasibility of her plan.
DRAFT OF SCENES 2 & 3
MONTAGE – VARIOUS LOCATIONS:
A) Elizabeth’s Lecture Hall – Elizabeth watches Richard at the back of her class as she goes to the podium. He is surrounded by female students who fawn over him. Despite herself, there is a stricken look on her face.
B) Elizabeth’s Lecture Hall – her classroom is filing out, she makes sure to walk out with a student at the moment Richard is leaving, so he can’t engage her.
C) Faculty Lounge – Elizabeth sees Richard heading for the lounge. She says goodbye to colleagues and gets out of there before he can arrive.
D) Richard knocks on Elizabeth’s office door. No answer. He tries the door. It is locked. He looks at his watch, surprised.
E) Richard reads a memo on his computer addressed to multiple names that reads: Philosophy Dept meeting at 3:00PM Friday, in Classroom 201 for all TA’s. Please be prompt. He shakes his head at this formality.
INT. RESTAURANT – DAY
Barbara and Elizabeth are at a Sunday brunch. They are bringing their plates back to the table. Barbara’s is full to overflowing. Elizabeth seems to have taken very little.
BARBARA
This all-you-can-eat situation is a deal with the devil.
ELIZABETH
Hmm?
BARBARA
I mean, really, would I ever, under normal circumstances stuff myself silly like I do here? All because I paid a set fee!
ELIZABETH
Well, that’s what Sunday brunch is all about.
BARBARA
I suppose. But you don’t seem to have gone overboard. In fact, you’re barely eating!
ELIZABETH
I don’t have that much of an appetite today.
BARBARA
Why is that?
ELIZABETH
(lost in thought)
Hmmm?
BARBARA
Earth to Elizabeth.
ELIZABETH
What? Oh sorry.
BARBARA
Where is your head at?
ELIZABETH
Clearly not here. Please…tell me the newest campus gossip.
BARBARA
You usually hate gossip.
ELIZABETH
It’ll distract me.
BARBARA
From what?
ELIZABETH
Nothing.
BARBARA
Nothing? Come on, Liz, you’ve been acting weird all week.
ELIZABETH
I have?
BARBARA
Yes.
ELIZABETH
Has anyone else noticed?
BARBARA
I don’t know. Does that matter?
Elizabeth doesn’t answer.
BARBARA
Okay, girlfriend. Spill.
ELIZABETH
I’m not sure I should.
BARBARA
Oh my God, now you really have to tell me.
Elizabeth looks around the room and lowers her voice:
ELIZABETH
Richard Amado kissed me.
BARBARA
What?!
ELIZABETH
Shh!
BARBARA
(more quietly)
Your TA kissed you?
ELIZABETH
Yes, but worse… I kissed him back.
BARBARA
Holy shit.
ELIZABETH
I know.
BARBARA
Well what happened next?
ELIZABETH
What do you think? I kicked him out.
BARBARA
Jesus. So what are you doing about this?
ELIZABETH
I told him it was some temporary infatuation and we had to take it no further. Keep things professional
BARBARA
You believe you can do that?
ELIZABETH
Yes, absolutely.
BARBARA
Well, you know, if you weren’t in an advisory position…
ELIZABETH
With our program, I never will be! No, we just have to move beyond this. I lost my senses for a moment…
BARBARA
No, for anyone else, that’s losing one’s senses, for you, it’s a dive off a precipice. That must mean… do you love him?
ELIZABETH
He’s 14 years younger that me!
BARBARA
That shouldn’t matter. Besides, he’s 30. That’s grown ass man.
ELIZABETH
He’s in love with an image of me. It’s not real!
BARBARA
That didn’t answer my question.
ELIZABETH
I’ve just fallen into the same damn trap as professors before me have. A brilliant and attractive young student, an opportunity… What a hypocrite!
BARBARA
Or a woman in love.
ELIZABETH
Please, do not call it that. We both are suffering from an aberration and the sooner we move on the better.
BARBARA
Well… good luck with that.
She looks at Elizabeth’s plate.
BARBARA
Are you doing to eat that potato?
ELIZABETH
No, have at it.
BARBARA
I will.
And she digs in.
-
Fred’s Act 3 Middle Scenes
What I learned doing this assignment is that as tension is rising and the stakes become higher, the protagonist must face stronger consequences and lose more than he did in act 2.
EXT. SEOUL STATION – DAY
Beginning: Jin meets his two cousins at the station, they take the bus? Or car, which surprises him +
Middle: They talk at a cafe and find many things in common, such as going to school in America, they bond over games/escape room and invite him over to dinner to play with the dog and meet his uncle/aunt.
End: Uncle and aunt welcome him, are happy to hear about his mom. They invite him to spend the night. But Jin starts to feel out of place in this new family of his.
INT. DAD’S RESTAURANT – NIGHT
Beginning: Emma meets with Han and his friends for drinks. They are joking around and having a good time.
Middle: Han confesses he has not been the best father for Jin. Admits on his shortcomings.
End: Emma reveals that he knows about his secret from the mistress? Comforts Han by saying that she will keep it from Jin, they form an alliance?
INT. CHURCH – DAY
Beginning: Jin doesn’t know how to fit in with this family’s culture.
Middle: Jin asks for his uncle’s help. He pities her but can’t offer an exact form of revenge. Jin fails in his attempt to find new allies.
End: Come back to Seoul disappointed, having failed in his mission. He goes to see Jin.
INT. DATE WITH EMMA – NIGHT
Beginning: Jin explains how exciting it was to have sisters he never had, but he realized they didn’t feel like family. The ones he has known since he was a kid, those are his family. Can’t forget the memories he’s forged. He has to separate that from his father.
Middle: Emma supports this theory and recommends that he compartmentalize his feelings. She tries to reason how his father had to do the same. Ends up revealing the big secret.
End: Jin explodes and condemns her for taking his side and keeping this from him. Points her as a contributing factor to the problem/situation. Breaks up with her by intentionally trying to hurt her with the truth.
-
Pam’s Act 3 Middle Scenes
What I learned: the closer I get to the end of story, the more I wonder about loose ends that I’ve left dangling, or plot points that don’t make sense. My new ways: keep going and trust that my creative mind can fine-tune later.
Make a New Plan:
INT. SITTING PRETTY DOG SALON – DAY
Beginning: The dog salon is booming. Especially with Pet/Owner “Style-Pairings” that Henri pioneered. A number of customers try to include Henri and Cam in their selfies. Henri politely declines. Cam helps Henri stay hidden.
MONTAGE:
– Pet owners that look like their dogs, Owner/Pet matching hairstyles
– Amazing transformations, from beast to teddy bear
– Funny dog hairstyles that look like human stylesMiddle: More salon customers snapping pics and videos with their dogs. Henri stays out of photo frames, but doesn’t realize he’s talking in the background during one of the videos.
End: Cameron updates the website. Posts a video, unaware Henri’s voice is recognizable in the background of one of them.
Things Go Well Until…
INT. MARC RICHE SALON – DAY
Beginning: Tiffany is in the salon’s lobby, waiting her turn for her style appointment. Marc is finishing up another client. Tiffany sits on couch with her small dog. Her phone buzzes, someone has sent her a link.
Middle: She clicks on the link/video (it’s from the Sitting Pretty website). Laughs at some of the photos. Then plays a video.
End: Tiffany plays it again. Marc stops what he’s doing. They both realize they heard a familiar voice on the video. The voice of Henri.
-
What I learned from doing this lesson is not to notice the page count as I am writing the scenes. With Final draft its automatic and simple to just concentrate on the dialog and action, and keeping the dramatic thread going.
MARK’S ACT 3 Middle Scenes
Key Scene 2 -Make a New Plan
BEGINNING
A rebellious group, fomented by Drake, wants to leave the camp for safety. A couple of men want their wives to come along.
MIDDLE
Jensen tells them its 90 miles of dangers they won’t survive. They are joined by some of his crew and a mutiny starts to take shape. Jensen tries to instill fear in them, but they won’t listen.
END
Victoria points out, there is strength in 100 strong unity. its the only way the old folks, women and children will survive. Jensen listens to her with admiration. her conviction strengthens his resolve. Jensen pulls out his gun and won’t permit desertion of the camp. They are still on the ocean where his authority is supreme.
Key Scene 3- Things go well, until…
BEGINNING
Life is back to normal in a strained community. Drake steals food and hides it away.
INT. TENT – DAY
TE 5: Jensen shakes her admiration of Amelia Earhart to the core. They connect more deeply. Sympathetic feelings.
MIDDLE
Jensen reveals vulnerability – Captain story.
END
The radio crackles to life. Dewey sends desperate call for rescue. the tent and antenna blow away in the wind.
EXT.ICE FIELD CAMP – DAY
Drake and Bearded Man are huddled near a small storehouse.
DRAKE
You have your life, and yer free to save it. If you want to do this, you should do what’s right.
BEARDED MAN
We’ll make it to land.
DRAKE
The captain can’t keep you prisoner, you know.
Bearded man moves off. Drake watches him go, then reaches into the cache and takes two tins of meat.
A small group of men are gathered, talking among themselves. They start to gather up food and supplies as though going on a trip.
INT. COOK TENT -DAY
Victoria is working with three women preparing food.
A man comes in, grabs his wife and pulls her outside.
Victoria, worried, follows them.
EXT.ICE FIELD CAMP – DAY
The man brings his wife and joins up with a group of men who are preparing to leave. Victoria follows in consternation.
Others see whats happening and come closer.
BEARDED MAN
If you want to live, come with us.
BEARDED MAN 2
We’re going south to land.
Voices in the group echo enthusiasm.
Jensen strides over, towering over all of them.
JENSEN
If there was any chance of succeeding, I would have done this a week ago. It’s a fool’s goal.
BEARDED MAN 2
Aye, for a hundred people and babies. But we are a strong dozen.
BEARDED MAN
(shouts)
Come on, able bodied men, join us.
Half of the sailors on the crew move to join them.
JENSEN
Its ninety miles of moving ice, ridges and fissures. You don’t know the ice, with its thin crusts and deadly, freezing water beneath. Arctic wind can kill by freezing flesh. The nights are worse, with no landmarks and no direction. A fog alone will lead to starvation.(pause) Stay here in camp. There is shelter and food.
BEARDED MAN
For how long?
Voices in the group echo the sentiment. They have heard enough. Two dozen strong, they start to shuffle out of camp.
VICTORIA
What about the women? You wish to kill your wives?
One of the two women in the group turns to Victoria
MARRIED WOMAN
I go with my man.
The second woman looks at Victoria with fear in her eyes.
VICTORIA
Yes, every woman needs her man to help her through. And every child needs help to live. And each man needs another.
Jensen watches her with interest.
VICTORIA (CONT’D)
No man can survive this on his own.
What of the old ones, who are helpless without us, and the unborn child? Should they die and not you? You all would abandon everyone but yourselves.
Drake watches her with interest from a distance.
VICTORIA (CONT’D)
If we are together – all together – we will live.
Jensen’s resolve is strengthened, but…
BEARDED MAN 2
What makes you think you know anything of us, woman?
Jensen pulls out his gun and moves forward.
JENSEN
I will not permit anyone to leave our camp. Doing so, will condemn some of you as mutineers. Even if you survive this, your lives will be forever punished.
BEARDED MAN
You will never shoot your own passengers and crew, captain.
Jensen puts his gun away, steps up to the Bearded Man and crushes him in a bear hug and a neck grip. The man gasps for breath.
JENSEN
I remind you we are still on the ocean. I am still in command, my authority is supreme.
EXT.ICE FIELD CAMP – DAY
The camp is seen from a distance across the frozen waste. Drake appears in foreground, walking and brooding. He sits on an ice mound, staring.
EXT. JENSEN’S TENT -DAY
The two children 8 and 10 walk by and throw a chunk of ice at the tent.
Jensen’s head pops out, sees the kids with a half smile and he growls at them. They laugh and run away.
INT.JENSEN’S TENT – DAY
He comes back in and sits down in the cramped space.
JENSEN
The trouble will pass. They will forget.
REVEAL Victoria sitting opposite.
VICTORIA
I hope so. When people are desperate…
JENSEN
You did a bold thing. You shamed them. What made you want this?
VICTORIA
This…(chuckles) I was looking for far off adventure. Its not what it seems.
JENSEN
Many things aren’t what they seem.
VICTORIA
I loved reading about Amelia Earhart in the paper. She does such…wonderful things, and has such freedom. That was the first time I fell in love. And then after that, It was also a flyer, he showed me that marvelous freedom first hand. Soaring above the world.
JENSEN
Like being on the sea.
VICTORIA
Captain, there’s…
JENSEN
In here miss, I’m not captain. its Jocko.
VICTORIA
My fiance is Tony. He is such a good flyer, almost like Amelia. I guess I love them both. We argued badly when I left home. He knew I shouldn’t have come.
JENSEN
You only know about the Earhart woman from the papers?
She nods.
JENSEN (CONT’D)
She is not what she seems.
Victoria looks at him in anxiety.
JENSEN (CONT’D)
If I had newspapers write about me, even I wouldn’t be what I seem.
VICTORIA
But, she does amazing things, her flights, her records.
JENSEN
And what have you done?
VICTORIA
I suppose…nothing.
JENSEN
I think you have done more than Earhart. You helped save some life yesterday. Believe in yourself – you. Don’t put too much stock in a symbol like her, because a symbol especially is not what it seems.
She is deeply affected. She gets up to leave. As she gets to the tent flap…
JENSEN (CONT’D)
Miss Victoria, I never want my crew to hear this.
She turns and stands near him.
JENSEN (CONT’D)
(Captain’s story about the ideal of never losing a ship. Vulnerability, now he has lost one)
INT. LARGE TENT – DAY
The radio crackles to life and Dewey is startled. He commands one of the men in the tent
DEWEY
Quick get the captain.
The man runs outside, yelling
MAN (O.S.)
There’s a radio call!
People start crowding into the tent. Dewey screams for quiet.
DEWEY
QUIET! Please Send help, send ships, send anything. Anchorage, Nome, anyone, come in…
Static is broken by voice fragments:
RADIO VOICE
“zero visibility,,,prolonged whiteout conditions…what your position is…”
The tent flaps wildly and starts to lift up with a gust of wind.
Men start to grab at it, but it suddenly flies over their heads, carrying two men with it.
Dewey still sits at his console screaming into the wind.
DEWEY
WE’RE FREEZING TO DEATH, FOR GOD’S SAKE!
Then the antenna is blown away.
-
Clendon – Act 3 middle scenes
[1] What I learned doing this assignment? How the process keeps you from writing the climax too quickly and leaving out a structural element that builds to the climax. The transformation/growth of the protagonist is something I did subconsciously but did not have a process down. It is well worthwhile. I like being able to tear apart the pieces and examine them for flaws, for ways to make them better.
————————————————–
[2] Outline Key Scenes 2 & 3.
Scene 2 – new Plan:
BEGINNING: Clendon learns the DNA sample he gave the detective is a perfect match. He lies and tells the detective it was Joe-Joe’s hair sample.
MIDDLE: Upset, Clendon goes to his mother’s grave and has a one-sided conversation.
END: He is going to keep the truth from JR’s daughter, Natalie, at all costs.
——————————-
Scene 3 – things go well until…
BEGINNING: The detective takes a sample of JR’s hair and it is a perfect match with the killer’s.
MIDDLE: Detective Ramirez and Clendon talk about the DNA test results. Clendon tells Ramirez he will tell a jury the hair sample was on his clothes since he and JR worked together every day.
END: She agrees to let it go, gives him the test results.
(Clendon stopped the truth from being revealed, only to have Natalie discover it)
BEGINNING: Natalie doing laundry, comes across the lab results. Clendon forgot the DNA sample print out sheet in his pants pocket
MIDDLE: Natalie storms down to Clendon’s workout room and confronts him.
END: they go to blows; end up making love.
———————————————————————————————
[3] Write Key Scene 2: Makes a new plan.
INT. MARY’S BEDROOM – LATER
ANGLE ON Clendon. Frantic as he rummages through his mother’s WALK-IN CLOSET — behind him, a chest of drawers and walnut bureau, both ransacked.
At the vanity, the contents of a jewelry box dumped across the granite counter top.
CLENDON “Where is it, mother? (wipes eyes) Your cross, it’s got to be here.”
ON HANDS AND KNEES, Clendon sweeps aside an entire row of shoes. Lifting up the strip of carpeting laid down under the shoe rack, he discovers a floor safe.
His surprise turns to a smile; it’s unlocked.
CLENDON “Well, well, what else you hiding?”
He pulls out a photo album and a banded stack of hundred dollar bills. He returns to the vanity with the photo-album. The money, he stuffs in a jacket pocket.
INSERT – PHOTO ALBUM
1. Ramirez, skinny girl, arms wrapped around a Christmas package.
2. Ramirez, in cap and gown standing at a podium.
3. Rookie, in uniform, outside the police academy.
4. Detective Ramirez in a wedding dress, man at her side in a military uniform.
BACK TO SCENE
Clendon’s surprise turns to something else. He FLIPS to the back of the album — STARES in disbelief.
INSERT – PHOTOS
1. JR dressed as Santa, platter of brisket in his hands.
2. Marry and JR posing together beside a park statue.
BACK TO SCENE.
Clendon SLAMS the album shut.
CLENDON “Of course you knew one another. Was he one of your business partners, mother? Is that what this is about? Did you two have a disagreement?”
Clendon sweeps the letters and other memorabilia off the counter and storms off with the photo album.
JR’S BEDROOM – CONTINUOUS
Clendon steps into the room, looks down on JR whose unchanging child-like expression hurts him in a way he can’t explain.
CLENDON “I don’t know why you did what you did. For Natalie’s sake, I won’t take you from her. Besides, mother wouldn’t want me to take a life… Did father put you up to it?”
Clendon, leans down into JR’s face, their noses practically touching.
CLENDON “Nod if father put you up to it?”
It is impossible to tell if his words have any effect on the man. Clendon closes his eyes, heavy sigh, turns and leaves.
—————————————————
[4] Write Key Scene 3: Things go well, until…
EXT/INT. STARBUCKS – LATER
In the SLUSH and MELTING ICE — BLACK YUKON SLIDES TO A STOP taking up two parking spaces.
Clendon jumps out, slams the door shut.
INSIDE – he finds Ramirez at a corner table. Without so much as hello, he thrusts the photo album at her.
CLENDON “All this time you led me to believe you didn’t know my mother. Why?! “
RAMIREZ “It was Mary’s wish. She asked me to keep an eye on you in the event she got sick or passed.”
Clendon hesitates, not sure he wants to hear this.
RAMIREZ “Your mother was my sponsor; wasn’t for her, I wouldn’t be here, I wouldn’t be a detective. She saved me. So, when she asked me to watch over you, I didn’t hesitate.”
CLENDON “JR knew my mother as well. I found receipts and holiday photos of her with him. He never said a word. (without segueing) His hair might’ve been in the house because he stopped by to visit.”
RAMIREZ “There’s no record of JR checking in at the entrance. I’ve gone over all the video footage for that day. You told me the hair samples were Joe-Joe’s.”
CLENDON “Mom’s crucifix wasn’t with her personal effects. She never took it off. Whoever killed her, has it. “
RAMIREZ “Good to know. I’ll make a note of it in her file. I know why you’re doing this and I can’t in good conscience let you.”
CLENDON “Look, I told you, he’s family. Besides, he’s not going anywhere. “
RAMIREZ “That’s what I’m afraid of. What’s to stop you from finishing what you set out to do?”
CLENDON “Coming to terms requires accepting what happened. My mother’s gone, that won’t change. Putting JR in prison won’t bring her back. It would destroy Natalie and I can’t have that. End of story.”
RAMIREZ “Keeping your mother’s killer in her house is a recipe for disaster.”
CLENDON “Let it go, I’m begging you. I worked with JR, saw him every day. I’ll tell the jury his hair and clothing fibers were on my clothes… Reasonable doubt is all it takes.”
THAT STOPS Ramirez cold. She is tempted to take offense.
RAMIREZ “You’re right. The evidence is circumstantial. No weapon, no motive, no witnesses. Just so you know, I have an eyelash. Means he was in the room with Mary, up close: might’ve sneezed, something caused him to lose an eyelash. They normally just don’t fall out.”
She opens her purse, takes out a folded sheet of paper.
MOMENTARY FLASHBACK – POINSETTIA ON BREAKFAST TABLE
Clendon recalls the POINSETTIA on his mother’s table, remembers the violent SNEEZE JR had in his office because of the poinsettia Natalie left for him.
BACK TO SCENE
RAMIREZ “Destroy this. My mother was taken from me when I was half your age. I spent years where you are.”
Clendon scans the lab report; name reads, John Doe. He gives Ramirez a heart-felt hug, reaches down, sets the brick of hundred dollar bills in her lap.
CLENDON “My turn to grope you.”
Clendon turns and walks off. Ramirez looks in her lap thinking he left her a book.
———————————
INT. MARY’S HOME – LAUNDRY ROOM – NIGHT
Tired, Natalie marches into the laundry room, reaches in the hamper for dirty clothes.
Thinking Clendon left money in one of his pants pocket, she pulls out a folded piece of paper. LOGO catches her eye:
INSERT – LOGO
TRI-MEDIC LABORATORIES
BACK TO SCENE
She sees the date, requesting officer’s name — eyes the subject’s name: John Doe. Reading over the results – Natalie’s eyes narrow with anger — her greatest fear has been realized.
————————————–
INT. WORKOUT ROOM – CONTINUOUS
Without gloves or his wrists being wrapped, Clendon is pummeling a heavy bag. There’s a wet, red circle on the gauze pad taped to his chest.
Natalie strides into the room, throws the lab results in Clendon’s face.
Clendon drops his hands, squeezes his eyes shut and bites down on his mouth piece. He cannot go there.
Natalie’s PUNCH takes him square in the jaw. Mouth piece GOES FLYING.
Clendon drops to one knee. Dazed. His face says it all. He can’t believe she just hit him.
Natalie attacks: raining punches at Clendon. One blow splits open the gash above his right eyebrow.
Clendon retaliates with a vicious LEG SWEEP — drops Natalie to the floor mat.
NATALIE “I get my hands free, I’m going to break your face!”
Klendon pins her arms over her head, says nothing.
NATALIE “Fuck you! Finish it.”
She exposes her neck to Clendon — daring him.
CLENDON “Why’d he do it?! You even know?”
NATALIE “NO! I DONT! He didn’t say a word.”
NATALIE’S FACE CRUMBLES AS SHE BURSTS INTO TEARS.
Clendon releases her.
Natalie scrambles to her feet. Incredibly, she starts punching, kicking. Sobbing. Grief-stricken.
Seeing red, Clendon RETALIATES: HITS HER TWICE in rapid succession — LUNGES for her — his hands around her throat.
NATALIE “Do it! Do it! I can’t live with this… Kill me!”
Sliding his hands away from her throat, pinning her head to the mat by her hair, Clendon does the unthinkable.
EXTREME CLOSE UP.
Clendon’s lips mashing Natalie’s — forcing her mouth open.
Natalie REACTS: arms and legs curl around Clendon — as the two KISS violently — taste of blood in each other’s mouth .
PULL BACK — reveal a young man and woman clinging to one another: bloodied, trembling, gasping for breath, afraid to let go of one another.
-
Assignment 18
Aleta Rafton’s Act 3 Middle Scenes
What I learned doing this assignment is that I need to keep adding intensity to the action and emotional conflict to gain empathy for the hero
Act 3
Outline
Key Scene 2
Takes tracker from Jack, going it alone, oddly Shadow follows him into the darkness
Jack and Grandpa run after Hank and Shadow
Hank follows tracker guidance among piles of garbage, then piles of Christmas trees
Comes around tree sees escaped lion eating garbage with ornament dangling from his fur
Jack comes around corner, see Hank but not lion which is right behind him
Grandpa comes next sees lion but is closer to Hank
Jack start running to Hank
Lion gets up to follow him
Jack sees lion and screams
Lion gets up and shakes so ornament goes flying out onto ground
Act 3
Key Scene 1
Hank
You two have done everything you can to undermine me and make me look stupid especially to Julie. I am so sick of this! Give me that!
(Hank grabs tracker from Jack and storms off alone into the dump to find the tree with the tree. Shadow follows him leaving Jack and Grandpa standing there)
Hank
Come on Shadow. This way.
(Hank jumps at every sound. Shadow looks at him sensing his fear)
Hank
Quiet Shadow!
(Suddenly an owl flies out of nowhere, swoops down and grazes Hank’s hair. He screams!)
Hank
Aiy! Ahh!!!!
Key Scene 2
(Shadow is smelling everything and sees owl eating garbage. Shadow runs over to grab the food but the owl flies up away. They search first through garbage and then piles of trees. Hank comes around a corner and sees the scaped lion eating garbage on the ground with the ornament hanging from his neck. Hank freezes in fear)
Hank
Quiet shadow! Halt!
(Shadow stops, growling at the lion. Shadow sees the owl in the tree nearby and growls at it too. Hank looks around trying to decide what to do. Lion sees Hank and starts growling at him. Lion gets up, does full body shake causing ornament to fly off, landing behind him. Shadow moves toward the lion)
Hank
Shadow stop! Stop!
(Hank sees door is open on empty container and decides to use his whip to back into the container. Jack and Grandpa run to Hank’s voice yelling at Shadow. Jack doesn’t see lion behind him but sees Hank and runs toward him)
Hank
Jack! Stop running!
(Jack turns to see lion coming for him)
Jack
Screams!
(Grandpa emerges from garbage to see chaos Hank using whip to control lion)
Hank
Jack!
(Hank uses his whip to coerce lion but it’s a struggle and the lion jumps on top of the container rather than in it)
Hank
Come on little lion! Come on!
(Hank taunts the lion while Jack and Grandpa are afraid for him)
Jack
Hank! Watch out! Be careful!
Hank
Like you care!
Grandpa
We do care! Please be careful!
Key Scene 3
(Hank coaxes lion into empty container. Grandpa and Jack slam the container door shut and flip the lock)
Jack
That was awesome Hank! You were amazing! Thank you so much!!!!
Grandpa
Yeah, that was impressive.
(Hank is surprised by their sudden admiration and not sure what to make of it)
Hank
Yeah. Really? Seriously?
(Grandpa on phone with police)
Yes ,the lion is at the City Dump locked in a container in the back of the dump near where all the trees are. Yes. Ok. You are welcome.
(Grandpa Hangs up phone)
Grandpa
Hank, really, we didn’t mean any harm. We’ve just been kidding around with you.
Key Scene 4
Hank
Not sure what to say. Not sure what to believe. You two have been pretty clear how you feel about me.
Jack
Really Han. We didn’t mean all of it.
Hank
But you meant some of it, right?
Jack
Well…..
(Jack runs and hugs Hank and Shadow joins in knocking them both over just as Hank is reaching down to pick up the ornament. Hank on the ground now with Shadow licking his face. The owl who’d been watching it all, swoops down to grab the ornament and flies off with the ornament hanging from its beak)
Jack
Oh no! No, no, no!
(Hank gets up and runs for the owl climbing over trees and garbage to catch it)
Hank
Stop you crazy bird!
(Hank bravely makes a flying leap off a tree branch and reaches out as far as he can and just barely misses grabbing the hanging ornament. The owl flies out of sight with the ornament hanging from its beak)
Hank
Oh my God!!! This can’t be happening!
Grandpa
Now what do we do???
(Hank, Jack and Grandpa watch in silence as the owl flies off. Shadow is sniffing around. Hank jumps of the tree and starts running away)
Jack
Where are you going?
Hank
The tracker has limited distance range. If we lose it now, we lose it forever!
(Hank turns on the tracker and keeps running back to the sidecar through the garbage. Shadow follows. Jack and Grandpa follow too)
Scene 4
Newsroom Interior. Story on screen of police at dump with lion in cage
Tech worker
Wonder how the lion ended up in that container?
Julie
Yeah. Pretty odd. But at least the drama is over and I can go home!
(Julie packs up and leaves office)
Julie
See you after New Years!
-
Sandra’s ACT 3 Middle Scenes
What I learned doing this assignment is to create more tension (hope/fear) by having the protagonist experience some success with the new plan, which sets them up for more failure.
MAKES A NEW PLAN: Lucy plans to see her mother, uncover the family secret, and rush back to defend her dissertation.
THINGS GO WELL UNTIL…: It starts to rain harder and harder. Lucy’s car is rear ended and pushed into the ditch.
INT. UNIVERSITY RESEARCH LAB – DAY
BEGINNING: Lucy receives a phone call that her assistant will live.
MIDDLE: Lucy found her in time and saved her life.
END: Lucy tells Professor Clark she’s going to see her mother and will be back by 4 pm.
INT. LUCY’S CAR – DAY
BEGINNING: Lucy checks her GPS and sees the freeway is still backed-up.
MIDDLE: She takes a rural back road. It starts to rain.
END: Rains harder and harder. She can barely see the road. Her car is hit from behind by the black monster truck, and her car careens into the ditch. Passenger side up against a fence.
-
Lesson 18: Act 3 Middle Scenes
Bob Colley – Act 3 Middle Scenes
What I learned doing this assignment is banging my head against the wall hurts. I wish I had a better beat sheet and outline. Aaron Sorkin wrote “A Few Good Men” on cocktail napkins. So how hard can this be?
Key Scene 2: Makes a new plan
INT. JOHN’S OFFICE – DAY
John and Kyle are sitting across the desk from one another in John’s office.
JOHN
The FBI are still chasing phantoms?
KYLE
They’re hell bent it’s an internal city thing.
Everyone’s turning towels and beaching.
John leans back in his chair.
JOHN
Dicks.
John grabs his cheeks with both fists and drags them down to desperation.
Kyle leans in.
KYLE
You and me. But mostly me, and a little of you.
John chuckles.
JOHN
And I can l can leave you for dead anytime, anywhere.
KYLE
Toocon (fucks ups Touché)
JOHN
Sure.
EXT. WOODS – AFTERNOON
John and Kyle ride their e-bikes through the woods. Kyle acts like a pro and John is trying to screw the handgrips off.
JOHN
Slow the fuck down.!
KYLE
Live it old man!
Kyle skids to a halt. John locks the front breaks and catapults over the handle bars into a swath of ferns.
Kyle is killing himself with laughter.
JOHN
Fuck I hate you.
EXT. WOODS – NIGHT
John and Kyle stop their e-bikes and place them on their side.
JOHN
The caves are ahead.
John moves the night vision goggles up to his eyes and scans machine gun positions, sentries and someone screwing someone in the bushes.
John sees the personal drone Cynthia used to escape under camo netting.
JOHN
I wish I had one of those. You make me
hard but I still want to kill you.
Kyle shuffles.
KYLE
What do you see.
JOHN
Serious shit.
Key Scene 3: Things start going well, until…
EXT. CAVES – NIGHT
JOHN
Fuck she has lots of guys!
KYLE
That’s rather sexist.
JOHN
She has a lot of people with guns that want
to kill us.
KYLE
Was that so hard?
EXT. CAVES – NIGHT
The area in front of the caves lights up with a low glow of blue light.
An annoying looking PRICK stands in front of a console sweeping his arms in the air. It looks like he’s conducting an orchestra but there’s nothing there.
Then from seemingly nowhere a thousand drones lift off from silos and take flight, light up the peaceful night sky and dance to the PRICK’S arm motions.
JOHN
Holly shit.
KYLE
And a half brother.
EXT. CAVES – NIGHT
The PRICK uses his arm motions to make the drones dance, fly in circles, do figure eights then make a big kissy face.
CYNTHIA
Stop with your fucking games.
PRICK pussy faces and steps back.
CYNTHIA
When can we load these?
PRICK
One more software update and we can
rock and roll.
CYNTHIA
You’ve said that before.
Cynthia steps up into the Prick’s face and slides a knife under the Pricks chin.
CYNTHIA
Too late.
Cynthia slides the bland into the Pricks brain.
-
Janeen’s Act 3 Middle Scenes
What I learned doing this assignment is that when I’m struggling to get started, it’s usually because there is a structural problem and the easiest way to find the problem is to go back to the beat sheet.
INT. JYM’S GYM – CONTINUOUS
MARTA’s phone rings and she answers. She sees that it’s Ben and leaves the gym to talk.
MARTA Hi, Ben. What’s up?
BEN
You know my Uncle Jerome.MARTA
Of course. Great guy.happened, has it?
BEN
Not that way. He wantsthe end of the year and take over his practice.
MARTA
Nothing’s
to retire at
wants me to
Great!
She’s noncomittal, waiting to see what he wants.BEN
He wants me out in XYZ on thefifteenth.
MARTA Of this month?
BEN
Yeah, but he’s got us booked at allof these conferences and sessions most weekends through Halloween and I don’t want to move the kids cross- country and then not be there to support them.
MARTA
That makes sense. So what did youtell him?
BEN
I told him yes today, but I haven’ttalked to Ashley yet. I want to wait until she’s at home and stable before I break the news.
MARTA
That makes sense. What do you needfrom me?
BEN
I need you to be her local doctorwhen I’m out of town. Check up on her, monitor her blood sugar. You can call me if you need advice.
MARTA
Wouldn’t it be better to have someonefrom your practice do that?
BEN
You know Ashley. She won’t haveanyone but me be her doctor, but you’ve always looked after her when I’ve gone to conferences or classes in the past. Will you do this for me? I promise I’ll check in with you as frequently as you want and
I’ll never decline a call from Marta looks around the area, considering
MARTA
I’m not sure. After the scare weekend, do you really want to her to an OB/GYN instead of anendocrinologist?
you.
her answer.
this trust
BEN
I want to trust her to you becauseshe’s friends with you and she trusts you and so do I. Please?
MARTA I don’t know.
BEN
You’re our neighbor, we’ve all beenfriends all our lives. Pretty please?
MARTA (deep breath)
Alright. I’ll do it.
BEN
Great! I’m going to tell her aboutthe job tonight or tomorrow night.
I wanted to make sure you were already on board before I break it to her.INT. JYM’S KITCHEN – NIGHT
Jym is in her kitchen. Copies of the Noakes Green, Orange and Red sheets are stuck to her fridge with magnets.
She is sitting at the counter reading his book and talking to herself as she munches on a big salad without enthusiasm.
JYM
He keeps saying this is Banting 2.0.What’s Banting 1.0?
She googles it and comes up with Banting’s Letter on Corpulence. She downloads a copy and starts to read.
We watch her read in a time lapse. She prints out the two pages that contain the menu and the ounces portions of his letter.
Printout in hand, she compares Banting’s diet to the Noakes colored food lists.
JYM (CONT’D)
He says five to six ounces of meatat dinner and then lists an ounce of toast. He doesn’t say how many ounces of vegetables and fruits. That’s odd. And wow! Two to three glasses of wine. Was this guy an alcoholic? Drinking that much at noon?
She flips to the second page and reads.
JYM (CONT’D)
Hold on, hold on. It says eight ounces solid and eight ounces ofliquid at dinner. The solid is five to six ounces of meat, once ounce of toast and that leaves only one or
two ounces of “solid” — any vegetable except potato – I wonder what he has against them – fruit out of a pudding. I guess that means fresh fruit.(MORE)
JYM (CONT’D)
So he’s saying only one to two ouncesof fruit or vegetable. That’s not much. Wow! That’s not Noakes’ diet at all! I’d better read the rest of this.
She sits down with the rest of Banting’s letter. EXT. DOC’S HOUSE – DAY
Ben is putting his gear in the car in preparation for his drive to the airport to go to XYZ. Ashley is going to drive him.
BEN No more tears.
ASHLEY
I’m all cried out. I know you haveto go. We’ve always talked about it happening one day. It’s just a little sooner than we planned.
BEN
Good girl.
The boys come out of the house with their book bags.BEN (CONT’D) One more hug before I go.
They hug, but the boys are clearly embarrassed. BEN (CONT’D)
Off you go!
ASHLEY
Hurry up or you’ll miss the bus.Ben turns to Ashley.
BEN
How about a real hug?Ashley smiles. They embrace. They kiss. They head back to the house.
INT. DOC’S BEDROOM – LATER
Ben is putting himself back together to head to the airport. Ashley is under the covers is obvious dishabille.
BEN
I’ll drive myself to the airport.ASHLEY
Are you sure? I could be ready intwo minutes.
BEN
Better not risk it. They have thoseunisex and family bathrooms in the terminal now. No need to tempt fate.
They laugh.
BEN (CONT’D) Besides, I’m already late for my
flight. Stay where you are. You always look gorgeous after sex.
She is clearly embarrassed and complimented at the same time.
ASHLEY What about the car?
BEN
Spare keys are on the hall table.I’ll send you a picture of where it is in the parking garage and I’ll leave the ticket in the console. Get Jym to take you.
He leans over the bed for a quick chaste kiss, walks to the bedroom door, looks back.
BEN (CONT’D)
Mmm, mmm, mmm. You are the mostbeautiful woman in the room.
Then he leaves quickly and Ashley luxuriates in bed. INT. JYM’S KITCHEN – MORNINGJYM and MARTA are in Jym’s kitchen. Marta is reading the Banting diet pages Jym printed out and Jym is looking up recipes for rusks and biscuits online.
JYM
I wonder what kind of biscuits tomake for this diet. Buttermilk? Bisquik?
MARTA
This is from the 1860s and the guy’sin London. A biscuit is a cookie over there.
JYM
Wait, this guy had cookies and meatfor breakfast?
MARTA
It looks like it. But you’ve seenthose breakfast biscuits in the cookie aisle of the store, haven’t you?
They don’t come in chocolate chip.JYM
Let me look for 1860s biscuit recipes.She googles.
JYM (CONT’D)
Holy cow. There’s a whole 1860s cookbook online. Mrs. Beeton’sBook of Household Management. MARTA
Expensive?
JYM Free download.
INT. JYM’S KITCHEN – LATER
MARTA and JYM are poring over the cookbook.She has everything in this cookbook! I’ve got a bottle of lemon peel. How about I make the lemon cookies.
MARTA What’s in them?
JYM
A pound of flour. How much is that?Marta googles.
Four cups.
MARTA
JYM
Would she have had white flour backthen?
MARTA
I think that was cake flour backthen. Regular flour was whole wheat and probably stone ground.
INT. JYM’S KITCHEN – EVENING JYM is on the phone with MARTA.
JYM
I just ate supper. Four ounces ofroast beef. I did have a little
wine at
of wine
ounces.
Are you
dinner. Apparently, a glass in those days was three
MARTA
ready to binge yet?JYM
Surprisingly, no. It didn’t looklike much, but it was really good and it was filling. I’m going to pack up what I’ll need for meals tomorrow.
MARTA
You spent all day making biscuitsand rusks?
JYM
Not all day, but a significant partof it. I picked up some stone ground whole wheat at the store so I used that for some really plain biscuits that you cut out with a cookie cutter and some rusks that actually have yeast in them. Mine aren’t totally crisp, but they’re good enough.
MARTA
Tasty?
JYM
I could get used to them. The crispybiscuits take so long to eat that I’m definitely not hungry by the tame I’m done.
MARTA
Maybe that’s part of why this dietworked for Banting. By the time you finished eating the regular meal, the message has already reached your brain that you’ve eaten.
JYM
Hey, as long as it works.INT. UNCLE JEROME’S GUESTROOM – NIGHT BEN and ASHLEY are on a video call.
BEN
I’m all settled into the guest roomhere and Uncle Jerome had a whole stack of research papers for me to read.
ASHLEY Are they boring?
BEN
No, but I’m beat. I told Jerome I’dbring them to the office tomorrow and read them there and he told me he already has a stack at the office that’s twice as tall. These were ones he thought I should read at home.
ASHLEY Sounds like med school.
BEN
CAM joins JYM in her office.
CAM
You’ve been holed up here all day.What’s up?
JYM
Sit down. I’ve been reading aboutthe Banting diet all day. Noakes’ book on the keto diet is supposed to be Banting 2.0, but the food lists are way closer to a regular keto diet than they are to Banting.
CAM What do you mean?
Jym moves from her desk chair to the chair next to him so they can look at her printouts together.
JYM
See the list of foods?It does. INT. JYM’S GYM – NIGHT
CAM
All vegetables except potatoes.What’s he got against potatoes?
JYM
He clarified that in a later versionof the letter. Potatoes are the
only root vegetable that he likes. His ‘except’ list should include beets, carrots, parsnips — basically, all of the other root vegetables.CAM
Okay. He’s got other vegetables andsalad greens, though, right? That doesn’t seem too different. Fruits, too. Banting has bread and Noakes doesn’t.
JYM
Yeah, that’s not where the biggestdifference is, though. It’s in the quantities.
Jym grabs a sheet from the printer where she’s made a table of foods and amounts for each meal.
JYM (CONT’D)
Noakes says anything with gluton isoff the table while beans are OK. Banting says just the opposite. No beans, but toast, rusks and biscuits.
CAM
So this Noakes guy is a fraud?JYM
Not at all, it turns out. Bantingis now a verb that means dieting.
So his Banting 2.0 is his version of a diet. It’s Keto, but like everyone else’s keto and low carb diets I’ve looked at, it is just that – low carb.CAM
So what about the real Banting diet?JYM
The original diet from 1862 limitsquantities and allows some nice crunchy bread items. You know, that’s something I missed a lot when I was doing keto.
(MORE)
JYM (CONT’D)
Not bread, per se, but crunchy breadlike toast and bread sticks. They’re allowed on Banting’s original diet, but EVERYTHING in the original diet had limited amounts. Very specific amounts.
CAM
So are you going to try it?JYM
This is my second day on it and sofar, it’s been effortless. No cravings, no compulsion to eat.
CAM
Wait, what’s all this wine? Are youdrunk? Is that why the diet is so easy?
JYM
No, not at all. I had one glass ofwine last night with supper. One three ounce glass. You know that half of one of those little bottles that comes in a four-pack?
CAM That’s not much.
JYM
I know. It was enough. I didn’twant anything else the rest of the night.
CAM
Great. You’re glowing, you knowthat? I love to see you excited about this stuff.
JYM All right, get out.
Jym laughs, but pushes him to the door anyway.
He looks disappointed and a little irritated.
INT. DOC’S BEDROOM – NIGHT
BEN surprised the family with a brief weekend trip home. ASHLEY and the BOYS are in the living room when he comes in.
BEN
I’m home!
BOYS
Dad!
He hugs the boys and then hugs Ashley, giving her more than a mere welcome home kiss.
BEN
Don’t tell anyone I’m home. I haveto leave early Sunday morning and I want to have plenty of time with you rather than spending it with all of the relatives.
The boys give one another a knowing look and an eye roll. INT. BEN’S BEDROOM – MORNING
BEN and ASHLEY are lazing in bed after a round of lovemaking.BEN
I’m glad you’re still eating thePriPack food. Is it good?
ASHLEY
Sure. They have a lot of choices.BEN
You should see the clinical trialswe’re doing right now. We’re testing one new drug that’s supposed to control blood sugar systemically — it’s a pill.
(he kisses her cheek)
Another one amps up the body’s ability to make insulin.(he kisses her neck)
And another one promotes satiety.He kisses her on the lips and rolls toward her. Ashley breaks free after the kiss.
ASHLEY What’s satiety?
BEN
It’s feeling satisfied.ASHLEY
I’m never satisfied with you.He kisses her deeply.
BENReally?
ASHLEY Well, not for long.
They laugh and fall into one another again.
INT. JYM’S GYM – DAY
MONTAGE BEGIN:
JYM looks on as the books in her diet corner are taken, returned, flipped open, bookmarked, etc.
A week later, various gym members tell her the following:
MEMBER1
I really liked the XYZ diet, but theproduce costs so much. I used up all my birthday money getting started on it and now the veggies are rotting in my fridge. Too much prep time.
MEMBER2
Why do they sell everything in suchbig quantities. It’s just me and I can’t eat all that in a week. I end up throwing half of everything I buy.
MEMBER3
This is the best and easiest dietI’ve ever tried! I love it and I’ve lost seven pounds in the past two weeks!
MEMBER4 I tried this on
(waving a book)
And after about three days, I went on an awful binge and ate a can of potato chips I found in the back of my cupboard. I was so hungry for some crunchy, salty chips.JYM takes notes and head to her office to do more research. INT. JYM’S GYM – TWO MONTHS LATER
ASHLEY cleans the treadmills while she talks to JYM.JYM
You spend so much time here theselast few months I feel like I should (MORE)
JYM (CONT’D)
pay you. Really, you don’t have tohelp. Cam and I can do it.
ASHLEY
I love coming here. I’m always aloneat home while the boys are in school and it helps pass the time while Ben’s gone.
JYM How’s he doing?
ASHLEY
Good. Busy. He comes here wheneverhe gets a weekend off, but it’s only been once a month. Jerome has them traveling to conferences and seminars nearly every weekend.
JYM
Wow! How are you holding up?ASHLEY
OK, I guess, but I haven’t lost anyweight in a couple of months. You look amazing. Can I try your diet?
JYM
Oh, I don’t think so, Ash. Ben wouldhave a fit.
Jym heads to her office to get away from Ashley. MARTA follows her.
MARTA
Hey, a couple of times a week,Ashley’s been trying to convince me she should try your diet. I’ve been saying no way. Are we in agreement on that?
JYM
Absolutely. I don’t want to beresponsible for another blood sugar episode. Especially not with Ben out of town.
MARTA
Good. Just wanted to make sure we’reon the same page.
-
Ricardo Williams Act 3 Middle Scenes
JOLYN is excited about opening up the first franchise model store and having her son JOSEPH JR manage it. JOSEPH JR is confronted by an angry customer calling for a boycott of the store because it was constructed by white contractors instead of black contractors. The story goes out of business, and JOSEPH JR heads back to college to finish his engineering degree.
Answer the question “What I learned doing this assignment is…?” and put it at the top of your work.
INT. HOME – DAY
JOSEPH JR visits JOLYN from his college break. She reaches out and hugs him.
JOLYN
Well, if it isn’t my handsome son. What a surprise!
JOSEPH JR
Hi MOM. I was thinking. I want to come and work with you and help you manage the business.
JOLYN
Why will you want to do that? I thought you wanted to be an engineer?
JOSEPH JR
No MOM. I just want to help you.
JOLYN
Are you saying after spending one year at FISK UNIVERSITY, you are going to give it all up to help me? Son, I can’t let you do that.
JOSEPH JR
I have dropped out of college. I want to help you, Mom.
JOLYN
I wish you didn’t. This is a hard business, but I can let you manage the new prototype building on 7959 KING DRIVE, but son it’s going to be a lot of work.
INT. BALDWIN ICE CREAM PARLOR – KINGS DRIVE – DAY
JOLYN and JOSEPH JR are observing the customers as they come into the newly opened building. They’re not happy. The white female teenage cashier is smiling as she serves the customers.
CUSTOMER ONE
I can’t believe how BALDWIN ICE CREAM sold out the BLACK COMMUNITY.
JOLYN is about to answer the customer, but holds herself back to allow JOSEPH JR handle it.
JOSEPH JR
What do you mean?
CUSTOMER ONE
First you use White contractors to build your store and now you hire a white cashier. You sold us out.
JOSEPH JR
But we also have Black workers.
CUSTOMER ONE
You sold out. Let us boycott this place. They sold out on us.
Other customers shout to boycott the shop.
JOSEPH JR
Can we really solve discrimination by engaging in it ourselves?
CUSTOMER TWO
We don’t have jobs to give to white folks who don’t need it. We are not going to support this.
Still shouts of boycott continue.
INT. HOME – DAY
JOSEPH JR sits with JOLYN in the living room. He seems agitated and frustrated.
JOLYN
What’s the matter son.
JOSEPH JR
MOM, I don’t want to manage any more. It is way too hard and we are not making a profit. I am going back to college and complete my degree.
JOLYN
It’s been a tough year for business, son and with Black folks not supporting the shop, I will have no choice but to close it down. In a way, I’m glad you have decided to go back to college. Business has been a constant struggle. We are not making money with the Airport Concession Stands either. I feel like my hands are tied.
JOSEPH JR
MOM, why it feels like you were never around when I was younger? So many times I felt alone and depressed.
JOLYN
Son, I am so sorry. I had to get out and make things happen for us. When your dad died, we were left with a struggling business. I had to take matters into my own arms to save it, but unfortunately it took me away from you. I wish I had spent more time with you.
JOSEPH JR
It was hard Mom.
JOLYN
I am so sorry Son. I wish I could have done it different, but I was up against a wall.
JOSEPH JR
I understand. The good news though, I have qualified for the DUAL DEGREE ENGINEERING PROGRAM at CLARK UNIVERSITY in Atlanta. I won the top honor out of 400 applicants nationwide.
JOLYN
Look at you. I am so proud of you.
JOSEPH JR
I thought you were going to be disappointed that I am not staying to develop the family business. I realized business is not for me.
JOLYN hugs her son.
JOLYN
That’s the important lesson in life. It is finding what’s best for you and committing to it. It will be all right, Son. It will all work out.
-
Lesson 18 ACT 3 Middle Scenes
What I learned from this assignment is the 30 day timeline is pressure, but I think It’s coming together. The over-all plan is changing from my first thoughts.
Act 3 Middle scenes
Scene EXT IN FRONT OF BRADFORD INN NIGHT
AT the end of the hayride, Jake recognizes Travis is with Liz. Jake is singing
at Travis’ wedding on Monday. Jake tries to warn Liz and presents proposal to Becca, looking an investor.
Travis jumps off trailer first and turns to assist Liz who is struggling with blankets.
TRAVIS
Liz, will you meet me in the morning for breakfast in the restaurant?
LIZ
Sure. What time?
TRAVIS
How about eight o’clock?
LIZ
Okay.
TRAVIS
Would you like to go for a walk? or a carriage ride?
LIZ
Since I have these blankets, a carriage ride would be better.
Travis goes to make arrangements for a carriage ride. Liz moves away from
those guests who are exiting the hayride. Jake approaches Liz while Travis
is away.
JAKE
Liz, I don’t have much time. Listen, that man is different from us.
Stay away from him. He’ll hurt you.
TRAVIS
Hey Jake. I’ll miss your concert tonight. Have a good
one. (To Liz) Ready to go?
LIZ
Help me with these blankets please. (She ignores Jake.)Jake walks away.
JAKE (V.O.)
Liz is trying to make me jealous. That’s it. If I could get
Lizzie’s phone number. Maybe Travis has it. And Becca
has Travis’ number. I wonder what happened to Becca,
tonight. Tomorrow, I get Lizzie’s phone number.
Travis and Liz walk to carriage.
TRAVIS
Everything okay?
LIZ
Yes, his last concert is Monday night. Do you want to
go?
TRAVIS
Do you?
LIZ
No.
TRAVIS
Then I don’t want to go either. Tonight, I’m going to convince
you of the wonderful attributes of country music.
Liz makes the move to get out of the carriage. Travis laughs.
TRAVIS
I promise not to discuss music. (Pauses) Do you have feelings
for Jake?
LIZ
Absolutely not.
TRAVIS
He hurt you , didn’t he?
LIZ
We were a singing couple in high school. He insisted
we go to the same college and enter music school.
The day after high school graduation he left for
Nashville. I transferred my scholarship to business
And the rest is history
TRAVIS
I’m glad.
LIZ
Ater our ride, can we stop and get hot chocolate?
TRAVIS
Absolutely.
Scene INT BRADFORD INN RESTAURANT DAY
Travis meets with Liz to tell her his feelings for her. Jill and Marty interpret Travis’ actions as a sign for
marriage to Becca.
TRAVIS
The food at the inn is fabulous. Everything is so different.
JILL
I told you it is now a five star restaurant.
TRAVIS
I’m glad I came.
JILL
I’m am too.TRAVIS
You travel all over the US with your job?
JILL
Eventually, I will. Now, I just go up the east coast.
TRAVIS
How often do you leave Wellington for your work?
JILL
IT depends on the appointments I get.
TRAVIS
Could you work out of Jacksonville or Tallahassee?
JILL
Why are you asking that?TRAVIS
With my business, as long as I have an outlet
and the Internet, I can work from anywhere.
JILL
What are you thinking?
TRAVIS
It’s a long way from Madison County to Wellington Vermont.
I would like to date you, see if we are as compatible as I
believe we are.
JILL
I’m not good at long distant relationships either.
TRAVIS
You can come to Madison County. I know a real estate
broker who would find you a place to rent. In fact, a
friend of mine has an apartment. You are welcome to
stay with me, but something tells me you won’t do that.
JILL
You are saying you want to be in a relationship with me?
Exclusive?
TRAVIS
Yes.
JILL
You have only known me for a few days. Why?
TRAVIS
I don’t usually like people immediately. That
night on the train, I could not sleep. All I could
think about was those emerald eyes.
JILL
I have to admit I was attracted to you, too.
TRAVIS
IF you’re not ready to move right now, I can come
here. I’ll find an apartment and travel with you.
JILL
Your are serious about this!
TRAVIS
I am very serious. But I want you to know.
Once you live in Madison County, you will never
want to leave.
JILL
I think I will happy anywhere you are!
TRAVIS
Does that mean you are saying yes to my idea?
JILL
Yes, let’s get that apartment if possible.
TRAVIS
I’ll call Sydnee today.
(Touches her hand.) I care about you, Liz.
LIZ
You’ve made me happy.
Scene INT CONTINENTAL BRAKFAST AREA DAY
Jill and Marty are meeting and can’t reach Becca whose phone
is dead.
JILL
I don’t understand it. Why isn’t she answering her phone?Did you see her last night?
MArTy
When we left you and Dad, we went to our suite. I wrapped a
few presents and went to sleep. But I haven’t seen Travis
either. Maybe they don’t want to see us. Have you thought of
that?
JILL
They are together alone in their suite. That’s it. They areworking their marriage out. That has to be it. Maybe we
should write a book about this experience.
TRAVIS
Hey, Mom, (hugs Marty and Mom). Eating all these sweet
stuff will put the pounds on.
JILL
I know but Marty insists we come here every morning forbreakfast. (to Travis) You look happy.
TRAVIS
That’s because I am. I’m going shopping for a piece of
jewelry this morning. Are the stores open on Sunday?
MARTY
The brochure states the stores on Main Street are open
every day in December.
JILL
Would you like for us to go with you and help you select
this piece of jewelry?
TRAVIS
No, I’ve looked at it several times. It’s perfect for the occasion.
JILL
Tomorrow, were your suit. We are taking family pics at 11:00
in the chapel.
TRAVIS
I love that idea. I’ll be there. Enjoy your day.
(aS Travis leaves the lobby, Jill and Marty sit and review the plan) The bellhop
walks by.
JILL
The plan is complete. It goes down at 11:00AM tomorrow. I’m
ready to get this problem solved. Aren’t you?
MARTY
I’ll be glad when it’s all over and we can eat without
stress. Let’s have another donut.
The bellhop knew the chief was at home with a cold. The chief promised
to be at work Monday morning. They were going to stop a murder.
-
Gayle’s ACT 3 Middle Scenes
What I learned doing this assignment is… to keep the action and motivations simple. Too complex ruins the story.
2. New plan: Rick and Samantha learn Djinn is controlling everyone and since he locked them in – they need to translate the book to find the right spell to contain him.
BEGINNING: Samantha tells part of the ritual that Caroline did but Caroline says no she did something else because the pages were in Persian/Farsi and she couldn’t read it so she says a voice dictated what words to say – Rick gets their copy of the ritual book from the safe, but in his haste, he leaves the safe open and the cell phone visible (remember the characters put the cell phone in the safe in the opening)
MIDDLE: Rick and Sam agree that the behavior was the Djinn controlling them all along – even their increased fighting was Djinn energy trying to break them up for some reason. (Djinn wants out to kill humanity)
END: Sam tells Rick he needs to find the right ritual to reverse the spell that locked her in.
INT. LIVING ROOM/ ATTIC LIMBO – INTERCUT
SAMANTHA: And you didn’t think it strange?
RICK: A voice from nowhere translating for you and you thought it was fine? Oh, boy.
CAROLINE: Okay, when you say it like that I feel stupid now.
SAMANTHA: No, Caroline – oh please don’t cry. Rick, say something.
RICK: What? It was stupid.
Caroline bawls.
SAMANTHA: Rick!
RICK: There, there. Don’t cry. I guess anyone who was dead for two hundred years could make the same mistake with— common sense. What? That’s all I got.
SAMANTHA: If this voice dictated… Rick, oh my god.
RICK: TheDjinn. That’s the only entity not accounted for. If he was dictating to you, he was reading from the ritual.
SAMANTHA: Which we locked in the safe with the phone.
RICK: Got it.
3. Things Start Well, Until: Josie translates the spell releasing Samantha –until it also releases the djinn…
BEGINNING: Rick remembers Josie saying something about her immigration from Iran when she was a baby and can speak Farsi.
MIDDLE: Josie translates the ritual, causing the house to reform and release Sam
END: As Rick and Sam hug and reconnect and the ghosts give themselves high fives for getting them back together, Josie hears a phone ringing and answers the cell phone on the floor in front of the open safe that got moved when the house was shaking.
The Djinn is now in Josie.
INT. LIVING ROOM – NIGHT
RICK: READING FROM JOSIE’S TRANSLATION {SOMETHING SUITABLY SPELL CRAFTY}
JOSIE: …(SOMETHING DOESN’T TRANSLATE EXACTLY} I told you, I’m a little rusty.
RICK: {FINISHES}
The ground shakes, wind whirls within the house and everyone is knocked about as if the entire house is shifting – to recover it’s original floor plan.
Samantha falls from the ceiling as if she’s bled through the thin veil between here and limbo.
CAROLINE: Mrs. Coffey! You did it, Sir
RICK: We did it. Are you hurt, baby?
SAMANTHA: I’m okay. How is everyone here? Still in one piece?
The phone rings – but it’s not a phone anyone sees. Josie hears it and steps away.
RICK: I’m sorry for all the times I screwed up. If you promise to give us another chance, I promise I will never put my fragile, self-involved petty aggrandizing above our life goals again.
SAMANTHA: Wow, that’s a mouth full, but I accept the challenge.
CAROLINE: Anyone who sacrifices himself to save you is worth a second chance.
RICK: It was really Josie who saved the day with the stellar translation. Josie—where’d she go?
INT. BASEMENT STUDIO
A shambles, like the rest of the house, but the safe is open on it’s side and the RINGING CELL PHONE on the floor in front of it. Josie, following the ring, answers.
JOSIE: Hello?
A burst of energy comes from the phone and permeates through Josie’s ear and down her arms and spine – taking over. Her eyes glow red.
JOSIE: (GUTTERAL, MENACING VOICE NOT HER OWN) At last. Bring me the humans.
PLACEHOLDER: LEADS TO A BATTLE WHERE JOSIE/DJINN ADMITS USING HIS ENERGY TO MANIPULATE THEM TO ESCAPE AND KILL THEM. AT THE COWBOY TRIES TO BE A HERO – HE IS KILLED. WHEN THE DJINN TRIES TO KILL THE OTHERS, RICK AND SAMANTHA PROTECT THEM BY GOING BACK TO THEIR ORIGINAL SPELL THAT PUT HIM AWAY. BUT JOSIE DROPS A BOOKCASE ON THEM AND WALKS OUT OF THE HOUSE.
Log in to reply.