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Post Your Lesson 25 Assignment Here
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Dale’s Solved Structural Problems
What I learned doing this assignment is that generally my structure is pretty solid. I had to shift a few things around, and I may need to, in upcoming drafts, figure out how the subplots fit best into the key structure – but for now, I think it’s working.
ACT 1:
Opening/Old Ways: We see Elizabeth in her home – a home which reflects her level of culture. We then see her giving her philosophy lecture on the Rationalists. This reflects both her own bias toward rationality, and shows her confident and in control, in her element. (which reflects
Inciting Incident: The arrival of Elizabeth’s new TA and graduate advisee. She will not realize, of course, that he will change her life. But he will. At first it is just his iconoclastic style that she needs to reign in. But soon, the attraction begins.
ACT 2:
The plan: Elizabeth, denying any budding feelings, continues to try and “reign Richard in,” by questioning his grade on a particular student’s paper. As they discuss this, the conversation, though intellectual in nature, has undertones of their growing attraction.
The Plan in action: Philip Monahan, who sees Richard as a renegade thinker, wonders how the more conventional Elizabeth is dealing with him. She assures Philip that she is handling Richard. But Philip warns her that Richard will keep them on their toes.
Midpoint Turning Point After Richard and Elizabeth find themselves at the same coffee shop off campus, they have a more intimate conversation about their pasts. Elizabeth is becoming more consciously aware of her attraction, though she denies it to her friend, Barbara. What changes everything is when Richard turns up, soon after, at Elizabeth’s home, ostensibly to review final student grades, but really to declare his feelings to Elizabeth. He kisses her. Despite herself, she kisses him back. She then kicks him out!
ACT 3:
React. Rethink: What now?? The university rules state that anyone with a relationship with a student must report it to administration and must end it, along with having others grade or advise them. But she wants to keep working with him, so…
New plan: She determines that the kiss was a big mistake, and it’s not too late to turn things around. She meets with Richard once to tell him that it will “never happen again” and that they can still have a working relationship. And she puts this plan into action. But she now has dreams about Richard, and can’t get him out of her mind (or fantasies). She meets with her ex-husband to confess what happened and says she didn’t expect this to be so hard. “Head to heart combat always is,” he simply states.
Turning Point: All is Lost: Despite Elizabeth’s attempts to dissuade Richard, he refuses to give up, and calls her on the phone, leaves her texts, etc. Finally he turns up at her house and although she tries to tell him why it absolutely cannot work, they end up giving in to their mutual passion. Shortly after this, Philip Monohan puts the pieces together. Will he report her?
ACT 4:
Dilemma: What does she do? Her heart is telling her one thing, her head another.
Climax. Ultimate Expression Of The Conflict: Elizabeth tells Barbara how torn she is. Does she report the relationship to the administration, which would risk Richard needing to transfer elsewhere, which she doesn’t want him to do. Does she find some way to impose reason on this runaway passion? Why isn’t reason there to save her anymore?
Resolution: At last, the heart wins out and she goes to Richard telling him she’s willing to risk her job for their love. Barbara, worried for her friend’s emotional health, goes to Richard and tells him he needs to back off. After taking take to think it through, he realizes, for Elizabeth’s sake, he needs to leave. It is at this point that Elizabeth, struck by the silence of Richard no longer calling her, goes to him and declares her love, saying she is willing to risk everything, including her job, for it. At which point, Richard declares he will be leaving the university, so that she won’t be forced to make this kind of sacrifice of her ethics. She protests but then realizes he is right.
New Ways:
What Elizabeth has truly learned is that, despite her formerly inflexible and judgmental ways, that things are not always black and white, and that human beings, when it comes to the struggles of heart and mind, are fallible, and not always capable of being rational. It has softened her rigidity and brought a whole new dimension to both her personality and her teaching.
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Assignment 25
Aleta Rafton’s Solving Structure Problems
Character Names
Stepdad- Hank
Mom- Julie
Boy- Jack
Dog – Shadow
Firefighter dad – Elliott
ACT 1
Interior Living room with Christmas Tree, TV Christmas show on, New Year’s Eve
Opening Scene: Closeup on hands of Stepdad applying tracking device locator he invented and then extremely carefully wrapping each ornament in bubble wrap and placing in storage box. Moves on to next ornament. Christmas music playing on TV show.
Widens scene to see grandpa asleep in chair watching Christmas movie. Mom is packing away ornaments in small boxes before putting them in large storage containers. Stepdad on ladder taking ornaments off tree and carefully wrapping them after applying tracker disc. Tells stepdad how much she appreciates him helping take ornaments off the tree. He mentions how much he hopes Jack likes the drone and maybe he’ll start to like him too. She mentions they need to get changed soon for the costume party.
Hank climbs down from ladder walks over to table with little boxes for ornaments, tracker dots. He carefully applies tracker dot to a discreet spot on one ornament at a time and then meticulously double wraps each ornament in bubble wrap.
Hank
Uh, I may need more bubble wrap.
(Hank almost falls over the dog as he gets off the ladder)
Hank
Oops! I’m ok. I’m ok.
Jack (under his breath)
What a klutz!
Julie
No problem. I have lots more in the kitchen. You are doing the best job packing the ornaments up. They’ve never been treated so well! This is the best Christmas ever!
Jack
(Mutters) What a loser! Overwrapping everything. My dad would never waste so much time….
Grandpa (mutters)
Yeah, I know
Jack (says out loud)
Forgot something upstairs (leaves room, runs upstairs)
Hank
I feel like I’m losing with him. I try so hard but I don’t hold a candle next to his memory of his dad. I’m nothing like him. I really hoped he’d love the drone I gave him for Christmas and start to maybe like me.
Julie
Give him time. It will get better. You’re just really different from his dad but that’s what I love about you!
(Julie glances over at grandpa asleep)
I hope my dad is up for watching Jack when we go out and it’s not too much for him.
Scene 2 Jack’s bedroom on call with friend, flying drone in room showing friend on zoom, window open, Christmas music in background. Shadow is lying on bed
Friend
Jack that drone is sooo cool! Your stepdad is the best.
Jack
No! He’s the biggest nerd all the time but the drone is cool. He worries about everything! Always uptight, afraid everything will go wrong. So annoying! Ugh I can’t stand him! He thinks he’s so smart and can control everything. But he’s so wimpy. He spends all his time on the computer! He’s even made this weird tracking device and he’s putting tracking dots all over everything in the house. Such a nerd. Complete opposite of my dad!
Friend
He seems nice enough. Well at least you have the drone.
Jack
Other than that, this was the worst Christmas ever!
(Jack is flying the drone to hover close to Shadow who starts chasing it around the room jumping all over things but always just missing catching it)
Friend
This is hilarious! Your dog is just going crazy. I want one of these to play with my cat!
Jack
I know! Shadow loves this! He can play for hours. Here I’ll take it to Hank’s office and you can see how weird he is.
(Drone is flying around Hank’s desk. Wind knocks some papers on the floor. The office is filled with books and computers and 3 monitors)
Friend
Wow! What’s he do in there? It’s like a mad scientist!
Jack
He is a mad scientist. A weird mad scientist! BORING!
Friend
I think it’s kind of cool. Really he’s not that bad.
Jack
Yeah. Well, you don’t have to live with him. I just want things to go back like they were before..
Friend
I get it but Hank really tries hard.
Jack
I know
Friend
May you could have him help you with your app. Probably be really easy for him.
(You hear his phone ring and it’s his mother calling him)
Got to go. My mom’s calling me
Jack
See you.
(Jack shuts down zoom call, keeps flying drone around room, then hears garbage truck through open window, stops drone and goes to look out window with Shadow to see the truck picking up discarded Christmas trees on the opposite side of the street, trees haven’t been picked on his side of street yet. Leaves the window and picks up bedside photo of him with his dad holding the firetruck ornament from their last Christmas together 4 years ago. Stares at it remembering his dad. Climbs on the bed and dog jumps up to lay beside him. Shadow licks Jack’s face and Jack hugs Shadow)
Shadow
Barks at garbage truck
Jack
You’re the best!
(Jack jumps up and starts playing fetch with the dog tossing a dog toy around the room)
Scene 3
Living Room Living Room, Hank still removing ornaments, tagging with tracker and double wrapping ornaments. Hank and Julie now dressed for costume New Year’s Eve Party with Hank as Indians Jones with whip and Julie as his female sidekick. Grandpa half asleep watching Christmas show on TV
Hank
(singing) Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree…
Julie
Jack! We need you to come down here. We’ll be leaving soon.
(Jack comes downstairs into living room with Shadow and throws a dog toy onto sleeping grandpa by mistake. Shadow jumps on him to get toy and licks his face waking him up)
Jack
Still at it, Hank? You just might finish by next Christmas! If ever (under his breath) Ok Mom. What’s up?
Grandpa (chuckles)
Maybe not!
Julie
Hey. I need you to help grandpa with the dishes after dinner. Make sure he takes his meds and let Shadow out before you go to bed. OK? I’m going to fix your dinners right now.
( Julie goes to the kitchen)
Jack
Sure Mom, no problem. Wow, Mom, Hank seems really to be struggling with the ornaments. Is he ok? (Jack goes to help Hank take ornaments down)
Hank
Hey Jack. How’s the drone?
Jack
It’s ok.
Hank
I thought you’d really like it.
(Hank reaches for the firetruck ornament and Jack screams and Hank jumps back)
Jack
Don’t touch that! That’s mine. What’s the matter with you? (Jack applies tracking dot to it while it’s hanging on tree)
Scene 4 Kitchen
(Julie calls Hank to kitchen)
Julie
Hank can you reach this for me?
Hank
What was that about?
Julie
That’s the last Christmas gift from his dad. That firetruck means a lot to him
Hank
Sorry. No wonder he’s so upset. I feel like I can’t do anything right! I’m at my wits end!
Scene 5 Living room
(To undermine Hank’s relationship with mom, when no one is looking Jack deliberately breaks an ornament Hank had carefully wrapped to prove his overwrapping is stupid. Julie and Hank come back into living room to keep removing ornaments and packing them away.)
Jack
Hey, one of the ornaments broke! Guess all your wrapping didn’t help did it? Kind a waste of time, huh?
Hank
Hmm. Wonder how that happened (obviously suspicious of how it broke)
Julie
Oh, that’s a shame but it’s so great that you’re being so careful with all these. Some are from when I was a kid! (she kisses Hank on the cheek while Jack watches and makes a face. Hank smiles at Julie making an effort to ignore Jack’s faces and comments)
(Jack eyes the tracking device controller on table and while everyone is busy, he secretly removes the batteries from the device so it won’t work and puts them in his pocket.He calls out to Hank to prove his device works.)
Jack
Hey Hank, does this thing really work? Let’s see…
(Hank grabs the device to turn it on but BREAKING NEWS comes on TV so he puts it in his pocket. Julie turns to watch the TV and unknowingly knocks the small box that the firetruck ornament belongs in under the table. They all stop what they are doing, move over closer to the tv to watch the story about the escaped lion which was formerly a trained circus lion for a few minutes.)
Grandpa
Wow. Well Look at that!
Julie
Might be kind of a big deal
Hank
How are they ever going to catch an escaped lion? Way to start the new year!
(Julie’s cell rings. It’s a frantic call from the local news studio where she is a producer)
Julie
Can’t believe this. They want me to come in right now! I promise I’ll be back for the party. I’ll just have to meet you there. I promise! Sorry guys. Be good Jack. Bye. Thanks, Hank for understanding.
(Julie gives Hank another kiss on cheek. She rushes out the door for the studio to cover the story. Jack starts playing fetch with the dog throwing a dog toy across the room. Dog toy lands on grandpa who once again fell asleep. Shadow jumps on him to get toy. Hank takes the rest of the ornaments down, wraps them and when he’s out of small storage boxes, he believes the job is done. He packs up the large ornament storage box with the small boxes, seals it up and removes the tree from its stand.)
Hank
Oh, Christmas Tree, Oh, Christmas Tree… I’m finished with the tree.
Jack
Finally. Took you forever!
Hank
Well. I’m going to take it out front for the garbage truck. Got to hurry. I think they’re just about here.
(Hank struggles to carry the tree out the front door practically tripping, drops it and has to pick it up again)
Jack muttering
My dad could lift this one hand
(Hank overhears Jack but tries to ignore his cutting comment)
Grandpa
Yeah, he sure could. Quite a guy your dad. Yup, quite a guy!
Scene 6: Street in front of house
Hank struggles to drag the tree to the curb unaware that the firetruck ornament is still hanging on the tree for the garbage pickup. He sets the tree down just as he sees the garbage truck is coming on their side of the street picking up discarded Christmas trees. Stepdad stands self-satisfied watching as garbage truck picks up their tree. Then he starts heading back to the house
Hank
Wow! Glad that’s done!
Scene 7: Living Room, grandpa dozing, Hank putting away the large Christmas Storage boxes into the hall closet still singing Oh Christmas Tree. Christmas show back on playing Christmas music. Jack picks up a dog toy and throws it around the room several times. Dog fetches and brings balk to keep playing the game.
Then Jack throws the toy and it lands under the table this time. The dog is under the table for a while.
Jack
Go get it! What are you doing under the table?
(The dog finds the empty firetruck box under the table and brings it out wanting to play. Boy realizes his favorite ornament must still be on the tree.)
Jack
Oh no!( screaming) You idiot!! Hank I hate you! You did this on purpose!!!! You hate my dad and you hate me!!!! You are so stupid!!
(Hank drops the box he was loading into the closet wondering what is going on and why Jack is so mad. Then he sees the dog with the firetruck box in his mouth. Dog drops the small empty box.)
Hank
Jack, I’m so sorry. I thought all the ornaments were off the tree. All the boxes were filled…
Grandpa
Think you’ve made a fine mess of things. Poor kid. He loved his dad so much.
(Grandpa gets up and goes to door and stands there looking out. Hank hesitates for a moment then runs out the front door after Jack)
Scene 8: Street in front of house, sunset
(Jack runs out front into the middle of the street to see the garbage truck driving off with tree and ornament hanging off back. Jack runs after the truck. Dog follows. Hank sees them and runs after the truck too. Then stops seeing he can’t catch it)
Hank (yelling)
Jack! Come back!
Scene 9: Inside the garbage truck, dusk
Driver has headphones on and is rocking out and can’t hear Jack or Hank yelling and keeps driving away
Act 2 Reaction to Turning Point 1
Key Scene 1
Exterior Street in front of house dusk
Hank is running as fast as he can down the street after Jack who is chasing the garbage truck with his favorite Christmas ornament dangling off the tree hanging off the back of the truck.
Beginning: Hank chases Jack for the length of the entire block
Hank
Jack, wait for me! Wait! Stop!
Jack yelling at the driver of the garbage truck
Stop! Stop!
Inside the garbage truck has on headphones and is till rocking out and can’t hear Jack or Hank
Exterior street dusk Jack has stopped chasing the garbage truck. Out of breath Hank comes up to him
Hank
I am so sorry Jack. I just can’t believe this happened. All the boxes were filled.
Jack
You and your stupid boxes!! You can’t do anything right!
Hank
Really, I was just trying to do everything perfect to prevent problems
Jack
Well, that worked out really well! Instead you created the biggest problem ever!! Good job, Hank!
Hank
Look I can buy you a new firetruck. It will be OK,
JackNo, it won’t be OK. It will never be ok again! You have wrecked my life! Don’t you get it? How dumb are you? That was the last thing my dad gave me ever!!!!! You can’t replace it! Ever!
(Hank stands in the street frozen as dusk turns to night. He can’t decide what to do. His careful cautious ways don’t work)
Act 2
Key Scene 2
Exterior street night with garbage truck fading into distance
Beginning: Grandpa pulls up in motorcycle sidecar with Shadow riding in it.
Grandpa
Hop in fast! Let’s go!!!
(Hank and Jack crowd in with Shadow on Hank’s lap)
Jack
Give me some room!
Hank
I’m trying. It’s all I’ve got.
(Grandpa steps on gas hard and they all nearly fly out of the sidecar. Sidecar wobbles and tips on wheels)
Hank
Slow down! You’re way over the speed limit! You’re breaking all the rules!
Jack
Let him drive! We’ve got to catch the truck! You and your rules!! That’s how we got into this mess!
Grandpa
Jack! Enough! Hank is sorry!
Jack
Grandpa! Turn left!!!!
(Sidecar makes crazy left turn almost getting hit by city bus)
Hank
Oh my God, this is crazy!!!
(Grandpa drives crazily between squeezing between a car and a truck. Hank terrified, close his eyes. Sidecar is now even with the garbage truck)
Grandpa
Ok Hank get ready to grab it!
(Grandpa pulls up beside garbage truck, Hank opens his eyes and sees the ornament is within his reach but is terrified and unable to move)
Jack
Grab Hank! Grab it now! For God’s sake! Now! Now!
(Hank finally reaches out to grab the firetruck but it’s too late as the garbage truck takes right turn. The sidecar keeps going straight. Suddenly there are garbage trucks going every direction and they don’t know which one to follow)
Jack
What is wrong with you? You had your chance and didn’t take it!!! Now it’s lost forever!!!
Grandpa
Really Hank. What the heck happened?
(Grandpa stops driving and pulls over to the side of the street. Hank feels like a failure. A tear rolls down Jack’s cheek)
Act 2
Key Scene 3
Exterior Everyone standing bedside parked sidecar, night. Garbage trucks receding into the distance. Grandpa is exhausted, Jack has a tear rolling down his cheek. Hank feels terrible, reaches into his pocket and feels the tracking device)
Hank
Wait! Everything’s going to be ok. My device. It will find it!
(Hank turns on device but nothing happens)
Hank
Never mind…I can’t believe this is happening!
(Hank is about to give up. Following the rules hasn’t worked and instead has ended in disaster)
Act 2
Key Scene 4
(Jack pulls out the batteries from his pocket he had removed and silently hands them to Hank who puts them in. Device turns on and starts blinking on a map and Hank tosses it to Jack. Hank jumps in to drive this time)
Hank
Let’s go! You navigate!
(Grandpa and Jack jump in the sidecar but Shadow stays on the sidewalk while Hank takes off)
Jack
You left Shadow you idiot!
Grandpa
You have to get Shadow!! You just can’t leave him there!
(Hank turns the sidecar around really fast almost throwing Grandpa and Jack out as the car tips nearly over. Hank runs a red light, picks up Shadow who now is sitting on Grandpa’s lap. Hank turns around again and starts driving faster than he ever has. Jack is watching the dot move on the device map)
Jack
Turn left! Not right! Left!!
(Hank runs another red light, dodging cars, horn blaring at the near misses. This time Grandpa is closing his eyes.)
Grandpa
You just ran a red light!
Hank
And your point is?
Jack
Turn right!
(Hank turns right racing down the road. Gradually they have left the crowded city streets now on the city outskirts)
Jack
Your thing says to go this direction! It’s actually pretty cool if this thing is right.
Hank
It is! I know it’s right!
Grandpa
We shall see. How do you know it works?
Hank
You two never quit, do you? You don’t want me to find the firetruck. You want me to fail, to make fun of me. Am so sick of this!
(They ride along in silence. Shadow and Grandpa fall asleep. See sign City Dump up ahead)
Hank has taken control. He no longer resists or fears taking action
Act 3
Key Scene 1
Hank
You two have done everything you can to undermine me and make me look stupid especially to Julie. I am so sick of this! Give me that! I’ll find it myself.
(Hank grabs tracker from Jack and storms off alone into the dump to find the tree with the tree. Shadow follows him leaving Jack and Grandpa standing there)
Hank
Come on Shadow. This way.
(Hank jumps at every sound. Shadow looks at him sensing his fear)
Hank
Quiet Shadow!
(Suddenly an owl flies out of nowhere, swoops down and grazes Hank’s hair. He screams!)
Hank
Aiy! Ahh!!!!
Key Scene 2
(Shadow is smelling everything and sees owl eating garbage. Shadow runs over to grab the food but the owl flies up away. They search first through garbage and then piles of trees. Hank comes around a corner and sees the scaped lion eating garbage on the ground with the ornament hanging from his neck. Hank freezes in fear)
Hank
Quiet shadow! Halt!
(Shadow stops, growling at the lion. Shadow sees the owl in the tree nearby and growls at it too. Hank looks around trying to decide what to do. Lion sees Hank and starts growling at him. Lion gets up, does full body shake causing ornament to fly off, landing behind him. Shadow moves toward the lion)
Hank
Shadow stop! Stop!
(Hank sees door is open on empty container and decides to use his whip to back into the container. Jack and Grandpa run to Hank’s voice yelling at Shadow. Jack doesn’t see lion behind him but sees Hank and runs toward him)
Hank
Jack! Stop running!
(Jack turns to see lion coming for him)
Jack
Screams!
(Grandpa emerges from garbage to see chaos Hank using whip to control lion)
Hank
Jack!
(Hank uses his whip to coerce lion but it’s a struggle and the lion jumps on top of the container rather than in it)
Hank
Come on little lion! Come on!
(Hank taunts the lion while Jack and Grandpa are afraid for him)
Jack
Hank! Watch out! Be careful!
Hank
Like you care!
Grandpa
We do care! Please be careful!
Key Scene 3
(Hank coaxes lion into empty container. Grandpa and Jack slam the container door shut and flip the lock)
Jack
That was awesome Hank! You were amazing! Thank you so much!!!!
Grandpa
Yeah, that was impressive.
(Hank is surprised by their sudden admiration and not sure what to make of it)
Hank
Yeah. Really? Seriously?
(Grandpa on phone with police)
Yes, the lion is at the City Dump locked in a container in the back of the dump near where all the trees are. Yes. Ok. You are welcome.
(Grandpa Hangs up phone)
Grandpa
Hank, really, we didn’t mean any harm. We’ve just been kidding around with you.
Key Scene 2
(Shadow is smelling everything and sees owl eating garbage. Shadow runs over to grab the food but the owl flies up away. They search first through garbage and then piles of trees. Hank comes around a corner and sees the scaped lion eating garbage on the ground with the ornament hanging from his neck. Hank freezes in fear)
Hank
Quiet shadow! Halt!
(Shadow stops, growling at the lion. Shadow sees the owl in the tree nearby and growls at it too. Hank looks around trying to decide what to do. Lion sees Hank and starts growling at him. Lion gets up, does full body shake causing ornament to fly off, landing behind him. Shadow moves toward the lion)
Hank
Shadow stop! Stop!
Key Scene 3
(Hank sees door is open on empty container at the end of the pole of Christmas trees and decides to use his whip to back into the container. Jack and Grandpa run to Hank’s voice yelling at Shadow. Jack doesn’t see lion behind him but sees Hank and runs toward him)
Hank
Jack! Stop running!
(Jack turns to see lion coming for him)
Jack
Screams!
(Grandpa emerges from garbage to see chaos Hank using whip to control lion)
Hank
Jack!
(Hank uses his whip to coerce lion but it’s a struggle and the lion jumps on top of the container rather than in it)
Hank
Come on little lion! Come on!
(Hank taunts the lion while Jack and Grandpa are afraid for him)
Jack
Hank! Watch out! Be careful!
Hank
Like you care!
Grandpa
We do care! Please be careful!
(Hank coaxes lion into empty container. Grandpa and Jack slam the container door shut and flip the lock)
Jack
That was awesome Hank! You were amazing! Thank you so much!!!!
Grandpa
Yeah, that was impressive.
(Hank is surprised by their sudden admiration and not sure what to make of it)
Hank
Yeah. Really? Seriously?
(Hank leaves Grandpa to back to where ornament came free of lion)
Grandpa
(Grandpa alone on phone with police)
Yes, the lion is at the City Dump locked in a container in the back of the dump near where all the old Christmas trees are. Yes. Ok. You are welcome.
(Grandpa Hangs up phone)
Key Scene 4
(Hank, Grandpa, Jack and Shadow are back where the lion dropped the firetruck)
Grandpa
Hank, really, we didn’t mean any harm. We’ve just been kidding around with you.
Not sure what to say. Not sure what to believe. You two have been pretty clear how you feel about me.
Jack
Really Hank. We didn’t mean all of it.
Hank
But you meant some of it, right?
Jack
Well…..
(Jack runs and hugs Hank and Shadow joins in knocking them both over just as Hank is reaching down to pick up the ornament. Hank on the ground now with Shadow licking his face. The owl who’d been watching it all, swoops down to grab the ornament and flies off with the ornament hanging from its beak)
Jack
Oh no! No, no, no!
(Hank gets up and runs for the owl climbing over trees and garbage to catch it)
Hank
Stop, you crazy bird!
(Hank bravely makes a flying leap off a tree branch and reaches out as far as he can and just barely misses grabbing the hanging ornament. The owl flies out of sight with the ornament hanging from its beak. Hank is now lying flat on the ground)
Hank
Oh my God!!! This can’t be happening!
Grandpa
Now what do we do???
(Hank, Jack and Grandpa watch in silence as the owl flies off. Shadow is sniffing around. Hank jumps up and starts running away)
Jack
Where are you going?
Hank
The tracker has limited distance range. If we lose it now, we lose it forever!
(Hank turns on the tracker and keeps running back to the sidecar through the garbage. Shadow follows. Jack and Grandpa follow too)
Scene 5
Newsroom Interior. Story on screen of police at dump with lion in cage
Tech worker
Wonder how the lion ended up in that container?
Julie
Yeah. Pretty odd. But at least the drama is over and I can go home!
(Julie packs up and leaves office)
Julie
See you after New Years!
Act 4 Key Scene 1
(Hank runs back to the sidecar but the tracker has stopped tracking. Hank starts the engine but doesn’t know where to go -frozen all hope lost. Shadow jumps in and licks Hank’s face)
Hank
Okay Shadow okay. Stop! I sorry but I’m just not in the mood! This is such a disaster.
(Hank rests his head on the steering wheel, closes his eyes)
Hank
I wish this day had never happened!
(Grandpa and Jack arrive standing outside the sidecar)
Jack
What now Hank?
Grandpa
Yeah, what now?
Hank
Nothing! I can’t do anything. You can’t do anything! No one can do anything!!! It’s
over and Jack, it’s your….
Jack
My fault. I know. I know it’s all my fault this time.
Hank
No, it all started with me. My big mistake. Can’t blame you.
Grandpa
Glad we have that all settled.
Act 4 Scene Key Scene 2
(They are all riding silently in the sidecar again slowly leaving the dump heading toward the bright city lights.)
Grandpa
Jack, don’t you think the city lights look great.
Jack
Sure, Grandpa whatever you say.
(Closer to city traffic gets heavy. Hank is now driving very slowly now. Hank honks the horn in frustration!)
Hank
Come on! Go! Move on! We’ll never get home!!!!
(Now traffic cop is directing the cars and sidecar is heading closer to downtown)
Hank
What! We are going the wrong direction!!!!
Jack
Are you OK Hank?
Grandpa
It’s ok. We just have to be calm. Nothing we can do.
Hank
Well at least maybe I can get home in time to make the party with Julie.
Grandpa
Yeah. Sure. Good plan
Jack
Guess you’re giving up, right, Hank?
Hank
Yes, Jack. I’m giving up just like you thought I would. Are you happy now? You can tell your mom what a loser I am…..Sorry Jack. I didn’t mean that. I really tried hard.
(Sidecar hits a deep pothole and Jack almost flies out but then he sees the tracker light up again)
Jack screams
Hank! Hank it’s working!
Hank
What’s working?
Jack
The tracker! The light is on and it’s moving. We’ve got to follow it!
Hank
Give it to me!
(Hank turns down a side street away from the traffic cop and starts speeding again following the tracker signal. Sidecar swaying wildly)
Act 4 Climax
(Hank is driving the sidecar wildly down the side streets following the tracker. Grandpa, Jack and Shadow are nearly falling out)
Grandpa
Hank slow down! We ‘re barely holding on back here!
Hank
This is our last chance. I’m not giving up!!!
(Hank comes to an busy intersection, turns left and gets stopped in traffic)
Hank honks horn yells at cars
Move! Move!
Jack
They can’t go anywhere Hank. No reason to honk and yell
(Hank jumps out of the car and runs on foot following the tracker signal. Jack and shadow jump out and follow Hank leaving Grandpa in the sidecar)
Jack
Hank. Slow down! I can’t catch up
(Hank slows a little waiting for Jack and Shadow to catch up)
Hank
Ok. Let’s go
(They run through crowds of people waiting for New Year’s Eve Ball drop. They enter One times Square sneak past security and get in elevator to top of building. Once on top they find the ball and see the owl with the ornament hanging from it’s beak)
Jack
What now!! We can’t get it!
Hank
I’m not giving up
Shadow sees owl
Barks!
Jack
What are you going to do?
Hank
Just watch. Tell your mom I love her.
Jack
What do you mean? Why???
(Hank jumps onto the scaffold barely making it. Ties one end of this whip to it, gets up on the railing of the scaffold)
Jack
Hank! Stop! What are you doing? It’s not worth it! Don’t!!!
(Hank swings out high over the crowd below to the ball and grabs the ornament out of the owl’s mouth)
Jack
Oh my god!
(Hank swings back crashing onto the scaffold with the ornament in one hand. Climbs back onto the building roof)
Jack
I can’t believe you did that!
Hank
Neither can I!
Jack
I was so scared for you!
(Jack runs and hugs Hank)
Act 4 Key Scene 4
(Hank, Jack and Shadow leave the building and look for Grandpa where they left him but he’s nowhere to be found)
Jack
Grandpa! Grandpa!
(They try street after street but can’t find him)
Jack
Do you have your phone?
(Hank checks his pockets for the phone)
Hank
No. I must have left it at home. Sorry
Jack
It’s ok
Hank
Let’s just go home and see if he’s there
(Inside the house, Grandpa is sitting in his chair watching the New Year’s Eve on TV before the ball drop. Jack Hank and Shadow enter)
Jack
Grandpa! Grandpa! You won’t believe what Hank did!
Grandpa
Really? What did he do?
(Jack shows Grandpa his firetruck ornament)
Jack
We followed the owl to the top of the building where the ball drops on New Years.
Grandpa
Wow!
Jack
Hank jumped onto the scaffolding used his whip and swingout to grab my firetruck from the owl! It was unbelievable. Scary, too!
Grandpa
Hank did all that??
Jack
Yes. It was amazing!
Grandpa
Well, that calls for a toast!
(Grandpa goes into kitchen to make hot chocolate)
Hank
Is Julie home?
Grandpa from kitchen
No, not yet
Jack
Hank, thank you. This was the most amazing night ever!
Hank
Yeah. I know! Glad it worked out
Jack
I’m sorry for
Hank
That’s the past
(Grandpa comes out with chocolate. Julie comes home)
Jack
Mom! Mom, you won’t believe…
Hank and Grandpa give Jack a look
…oh nothing
Julie
No tell me. What did you do tonight?
Hank
Not much
Julie
Did you hear the lion was caught at the city dump
Grandpa
Oh really?
(TV shows the lion story)
Julie
It’s on TV now
They all look to TV
Julie
The police got a phone tip about the lion being trapped in a container at the zoo
Jack
Oh really
Julie
They don’t know how it happened but we can sleep well tonight
Hank
Yeah, that’s good news
(Countdown for the ball drop starts on TV and they all turn to watch and count out loud)
Hank, Jack Julie, Grandpa all reciting countdown
10,9,8,…….
The End
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Melanie’s Solved Structural Problems
What I learned: Among other things my climax needed to be expanded – needed to become the ultimate conflict for the protagonist! This scene exacerbates her wound of not being good enough/not having what it takes. I added more “bad guys” and had an ally turn on her.
EXT. ROAD – NIGHT
The dawn threatens over the horizon. Hugging one arm to her chest, she manages to stay upright in the saddle as they proceed towards the last and final town of Stormville. Her tangled hair flies around her as she rides. Her lips are parched, her face muddied, and her petticoat torn. But she is steadfast and so is Star.
They ride, now one with each other. Both on the same mission.
A sign for Stormville scrawled on a wood leans on its post as they whiz by. The dust swirling in the air behind them.
As they get closer to town, the farmsteads slowly coming into view, Sybil strains to see something ahead of them. The gallop closer, a dark figure stands in the middle of the road on top of a horse.
Star seems to recognize him first and she speeds towards him. But he holds a musket, aiming at them. They are in his sights and he is not moving.
CATACLOP CATACLOP CATACLOP!
Star is not slowing down. Samuel’s horse winces, seeing the oncoming fury.
SAMUEL
You are wild. That I’ll give you.
SYBIL
Ya, Star! Ya!
She spurs her on.
Samuel’s eyes widen. HOUYHNHNM! His horse whinnies, uncomfortable, and the whites of his eyes show.
Samuel’s horse REARS backwards in fear as Star is finally upon them and he throws Samuel to the ground.
Sybil stops Star, looking down on the British soldier. She slides down off her back and stands in front of him.
Quickly he grabs his musket.
SAMUEL
You! You are the source of all my worry? You are just a…
SYBIL
Girl. Yes. I know.
He stands up, shaking off the dirt. The others group around him. It’s Sybil against five soldiers.
SAMUEL
I’ve been sent to kill you.
SYBIL
You haven’t been able to yet.
Anger flashes over his face as he brandishes his musket, readying to fire.
SAMUEL
Leave now. This is your last chance to get out of here alive. We don’t want to kill a girl but we will if you don’t turn away now.
She steps towards him.
SAMUEL
You don’t believe I won’t?
SYBIL
The more men have to lose, the less willing are they to venture. I have nothing to lose.
SAMUEL
What are you saying?
SYBIL
Thomas Payne. Common Sense. You should read it. I, myself, have nothing to lose. But you, on the other hand, servant to the Crown have quite a lot.
SAMUEL
I don’t understand.
SYBIL
America is but an infant – we don’t know what it’s like to have fortunes and estates like you do. But we’ll fight like the dickens to keep what little we have. I don’t see your King beside you waging war, soldier. You are all alone fighting for a country oceans away.
SAMUEL
I’m not alone.
But out of the surrounding trees, the British soldiers from the campfire step forward. Their toothless smirks and the stand with loaded guns. Beside them is the Boy she saved from the British encampment. Sybil gawks. He hides his eyes.
SYBIL
I see that.
RED COAT 1
Let’s be done with this. I’d rather be boozing it up.
Samuel steps back.
SAMUEL
Be my guest.
He steps up but not before Sybil knees him where it hurts.
RED COAT 1
OW!
He winces, doubling over.
Next up is Red Coat 2, cocking his gun at her face.
RED COAT 2
Good bye, pretty.
Like lightning, Sybil cartwheels towards him, kicking the gun out of his hands. She lands a punch into his gut and before he can react, she slips between his legs, hitting the back of his neck. He collapses.
Next up is the Boy, holding a gun.
SYBIL
Why? You saved me.
BOY
They did actually. They wanted to spring you from prison so they could put you away.
SYBIL
And you are with them now?
BOY
They pay well.
SYBIL
Money is not everything.
BOY
It is when you have nothing.
He is suddenly kicked in the ribs by Samuel. He falls onto the ground.
SAMUEL
Useless, worm.
Samuel puts her in a headlock. She squirms under his arm.
SAMUEL
This is your final warning. Turn around, go back home to your farm. And I won’t kill you.
Sybil listens to him, the words soaking in.
SYBIL
I can’t do that.
SAMUEL
My orders were to stop you.
SYBIL
So stop me.
He tightens his headlock but she bites his arm.
SAMUEL
Ow!
He lets go in pain, grabs his musket.
But before he can fire, she attacks again – grabs his rifle with one hand, pushing it aside and grabbing the top of the rifle with her other hand. She disarms him in half a beat. And throws his musket towards Star.
He grabs her waist, throwing her to the ground. His muscular physique ominous compared to her small countenance. She gets up, ready to fight again.
He punches her in the gut and she doubles back.
He fires another fist into her cheek and she reels back.
Star stamps her feet as if to cheer her on her owner.
Sybil, holds her cheek, now bruised and bleeding. She stands before him again. He smirks, knowing only one more good punch and she’ll be done.
He winds back, ready to knock her out. But we see one of her hands fingers a knife – the one her Iroquois friend had given her.
She stands, balancing her weight between the two feet, and slowly brings the knife out. It glints in the morning’s first rays of sunlight.
Samuel watches her closely.
With one arm up she twirls towards him, as if doing a cartwheel in the air and adeptly flourishes the knife, slicing his pants leg.
He steps back, trying to stop her arm. But she is one with her knife dance. And again attacks, a beautiful, jump in the air and slices his arm this time.
He, again, steps back. In a whirling move around him, she trips him backwards and….
SAMUEL
UMMPH!
He lands on his back with Sybil pinning him down to the ground. The cold metal of the knife at his throat.
SAMUEL
Go ahead.
Sybil relishes the moment, but knows her mission still waits.
SAMUEL
Do it.
SYBIL
I won’t give you that satisfaction. It’s not an honor to die on the battlefield.
A beat passes as she gathers herself.
SYBIL
You take this message to your General Tryon. Tell him America is coming for him and all of his spineless soldiers. And we will take back what is rightly ours.
She stands up, grabbing his musket, pointing it at his head.
He slowly gets up, jumps on his horse. And he rides like Hell down the road, away from her.
She sighs, a gleam in her eye of something she’s never felt before. Confidence.
She swings into her saddle. The wounded Boy is still on the ground. She offers a hand and he takes it, hopping behind her on the horse.
She spurs Star into the city.
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What I learned from this assignment is that this overall analysis is a good birdseye view of the transformational structure. I like the questions. Thy are pretty good at directing attention to the core aspects and meaning of the scenes.
Mark’s Draft 2 – Solving Structure
Act 1:
Opening/Old Ways: Is this an engaging opening scene that lures us into the story? Is the lead character clearly living in a pre-transformation mode? Do the “Old Ways” show up in their behavior and dialogue? The opening is action-packed and intros our lead protagonists in a charming way. The old ways are evident.
Inciting Incident: How does this incident invite and propel us into the journey? Protagonist demonstrates a strong desire and it provokes conflict with its undertaking.
Turning Point: How is this Turning Poing a twist that locks us into the journey with “no going back?” The purpose of her journey is completely changed and literally provides no return.
Act 2:
New Plan: What new plan did the protagonist create to deal with the Act 1 Turning Point? She tries to help out, be accepted on the ship and participate in what she had hoped to accomplish on the trip.
Plan in action: How does the protagonist take action on that plan? She charms her colleagues into standing a dangerous s lookout shift on the ship.
Midpoint Turning Point: How does the Midpoint change the meaning, creating a reveal that changes everything while keeping us on the same journey? The stakes are now survival itself, as the ship sinks and they are stranded on the ice drifting away from help.
Act 3:
React/Rethink: What is revealed to the protagonist from the Midpoint? How do they react or rethink things? human cruelty is revealed in the antagonist, and the changes in personality that can occur in people when thrust into dire situations. She seeks support and friendship from the strength of the captain who commands order.
New Plan: What new plan did the protagonist create to deal with this new level of conflict? She inspires the captain to build a runway which will be a lifeline to rescue.
Turning Point: The lowest of the low. How has this Turning Point brought the character to the lowest of lows, making it almost impossible for them to win in a normal way? This forces them to adopt the change in a much bigger way. When the runway is destroyed by shifting ice her last hope of rescue by planes, and especially by her fiance, is gone.
Act 4:
Dilemma: What emotional dilemma requires the protagonist to choose between two alternatives, losing something with either choice? When the antagonist, a truly evil influence on everyone, confronts her alone in a cave, she must decide to submit to him or to resist him – which she is powerless to do. She uses the new ways to conquer her fear of him and actually reach out and turn him from the dark side for a time.
Climax/Ultimate @xpression Of The Conflict: How is this the ultimate expression of the conflict? How does it require a “fight to the death,” either literally or symbolically? The climax is literally a fight to the death as the antagonist attempts to imprison her with him in the wilderness – and no one knows she is there. Her triumph is equally hers, her fiance’s and her strongest friend, the captain, who all contribute equally to the triumph.
Resolution: How does this resolution represent the “New Ways” and bring this story to a fitting conclusion? She has become strong and self-reliant, and is now a fitting mate for her fiance, since she now understands the depth of his love for her after going through hell to rescue not only her but everyone else, including the captain, who for a time was his rival for her affections.
New Ways: What are the New Ways and do they clearly show up in your lead character’s Act 4 behavior and dialogue? My protagonist is not in very many scenes in ACT 4, so I added a scene with the antagonist that demonstrates the New Ways, and sets up things for the Dilemma.
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<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Subject line: Ricardo Williams Solved Structural Problems
What I learned doing this assignment is how to structure my screenplay the right way to bring clarity and logic to the script.
ACT 1:
Opening/Old Ways:
From an early age, Jolyn had a passion for business and dreamt of owning her own business as her father and mother did. Jolyn seems happily married. Her
husband, Joe Robichaux is making great progress in life while she plays a supporting role as a
housewife, playing golf in her spare time. She wonders if there is more to life than being a good wife. When her husband buys Baldwin Ice Cream company as a family business, Jolyn has dreams of managing the business, but due to her lack of business experience, her husband thinks it a better idea to give her the role of secretary and have her observe operations while his more experienced cousin Troy Thomas manages the business. Jolyn sees the operational flaws and is convinced she can do a better job than Troy.Inciting Incident: The unexpected death of
her husband leaves Jolyn to decide to either sell the company or get turn it
over to her husband’s cousin Troy Thomas to manage it.Turning Point:
Jolyn fires Troy Thomas and takes over
the managing of the company. She is all in.ACT 2:
The Plan: Jolyn has plans to focus on closing the failing retail outlets, and turning the focus to the wholesale market. She enlists her sister Charlotte Logan who has a degree in Business Administration to help with the operations. She also signs up with a talent agency for a mentor.
The Plan in action: Jolyn commands her employees to send out old receipts held back in the office to the customers. The action makes her the laughing stock of both the employees and the companies that received them. Desperate to
know more about her industry, Jolyn decides to network by attending a
Women’s Seminar. She encounters an unwarranted sexual encounter by the
male course leader, Hardy Grove in his hotel room. She outsmarts him and gets him to commit
to a business contract that will allow her company to supply ice cream to a
military base. Things are improving, but access to wholesale is still limited as Jolyn
realizes the barrier-to-entry is difficult to break. Jolyn meets with an old friend Rita Rogers who tells her about concession stands at the O’Hare Airport. Jolyn thinks it is a lucrative idea.Midpoint Turning
Point: Jolyn signs a contract for 5 airport concession stands which
promises to be profitable because of the heavy airport traffic, but the
stands fail to kick-off due to the airport aviation department delaying the openings by 6 months causing Jolyn to lose money on the closed stalls while paying employee salary and a mortgage.ACT 3:
React. Rethink: Jolyn wants to get rid of
the stands, but she receives the prestigious Entrepreneur of the Year Award from President Reagan in 1985 which is to be presented to her in an official ceremony in 1987. The Airport Aviation Authorities are reluctant to let her leave especially as she is the first Black American to own concession
stands at the airport, and it will reflect badly on them if she leaves before the presidential award is presented.New Plan:
Jolyn decides to stick with the concession stands, hoping things will turn around with the publicity received from the presidential award. She appears on the Oprah Winfrey show, “The New Millionaires.” The show boosts her sales.
Turning Point: All is Lost:
When the news ran a story about crime in the Third Ward, the area Baldwin Ice Cream company is located, sales plummet. Jolyn herself is a victim of crime when two gunmen hold her up in her home. Jolyn finds out that Troy Thomas has used her company’s letterheads to inform the banks that she is incompetent and has mental issues. This causes her main bank to pull her loans. Jolyn finds out the US government is
suing her company for the improper use of child labor by her delivery drivers.Act 4:
Dilemma: Should she fight the US government? Can she get a buyer for her concession stands? Can she break into wholesale with the Big Box companies?
Climax. Ultimate Expression of the Conflict:
Jolyn successfully fends off the US government. She sells her airport concession stands. She pays off her loans. She finally gets the big contracts with the Big Box
wholesale companies. She turns the business into a multi-dollar
corporation.Resolution:
She sells the
company and makes a profit.New Ways:
She retires to France. She reunites with Charlotte and Lucy.
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Pam’s Solving Structure
What I learned: my prologue and opening could be stronger in showing Old Ways. I realize that I need to tweak further, but have not done so yet.
<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>ACT 1 <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>- – – – – – – –
OPENING/OLD WAYS: Do the “Old Ways” show up in their behavior and dialogue?
Prologue: OLD WAYS: 10-yr old Henri wants to fit in with the school’s popular crowd, he’s brand & fashion conscious, vain, and obsessed with movies & celebrity culture.
Opening: OLD WAYS: Materialistic, not crazy about dogs, needs others to validate his success, takes crap from Marc, surrounds himself with celebrities and perfection, values conventional outer beauty.
Tweaks: Show him being more of a perfectionist? More of a suck-up? Flirty? Less sincere? A gossip?INCITING INCIDENT: How does this incident invite and propel us into the journey?
When Henri goes out on an errand to movie-star Bradley James’ house, he witnesses Bradley’s murder by a hitman who was seemingly lying in wait for Bradley. The audience will now go on a journey with Henri to:
– Live a lie in witness protection, in order to stay safe
– Find out who hired the hitman, and help solve the case so that he can get his old life backTURNING POINT: How is this Turning Point a twist that locks us into the journey with “no going back?”
Henri cannot go back. He must live a lie to stay alive.ACT 2 – – – – – – – – –
NEW PLAN: What new plan did the protagonist create to deal with the Act 1 Turning Point?
Henri tries to blend in at work in the dog salon, with initially unsuccessful efforts. Tries B.S. and just going through the motions.PLAN IN ACTION: How does the protagonist take action on that plan?
He tries to relate to dogs and their owners in ways that worked just fine in Beverly Hills. He also makes a fool of himself with Acadia, who doesn’t quite know what to make of him. She is slow to trust him because of a past relationship with a “pretty boy” like Henri.MIDPOINT TURNING POINT: How does the Midpoint change everything while keeping us on the same journey?
Henri suspects that he was the intended target of the murder, and that Marc was behind the hit. He can never go back to his old salon. His career is on the rocks. And he can’t go back to his old life until Marc’s guilt is proven.ACT 3 – – – – – – – –
REACT/RETHINK: How does the Protagonist react or rethink things?
Henri realizes it will be hard to prove Marc’s guilt, but sets out to do so. He asks his best friend Jared to be his eyes and ears back in CA, and appreciates him now more than ever.NEW PLAN: What new plan did the protagonist create to deal with this new level of conflict?
While he works daily on outing Marc’s crime (working on a plan with Jared), he makes the best of his life in Vermont. He puts his heart into his work at the dog salon, and has some creative breakthroughs that help the salon’s business. He and Acadia also grow closer (to Cam’s dismay), and they work together on plans for a Doggie Adoption Fair in the park.As Cam updates the website to promote the salon’s new services, he accidentally posts a video that has Henri’s voice in the background.
TURNING POINT: The lowest of the low.
Henri’s cover is blown (so new action is required) when supermodel/widow Tiffany amuses herself with some doggie videos that have gone viral when she’s in the Marc Riche salon back in CA. She and Marc both realize at the same time that the voice is Henri. The videos are linked to the Sitting Pretty Salon website, which also promotes the dog fair.ACT 4: – – – – – – – – –
DILEMMA: What emotional dilemma requires the protagonist to choose between two alternatives, losing something with either choice?
Detective Stone tells Henri to stay put at home, and not go to the fair. Even though Henri knows that it will put him in danger, he cannot sit still while people he cares about are likely in jeopardy at the Doggie Fair.Climax/Ultimate Expression Of The Conflict: How is this the ultimate expression of the conflict? How does it require a “fight to the death,” either literally or symbolically?
– Henri must now tell Acadia the truth, which flies in the face of his main conflict: “living a lie to stay alive.”
– Henri confronts the hitman, MacKay — who intended to kill him in Act 1.
– Henri must also confront Marc, the one who tried to ruin his life, and is trying to finish it.Resolution: How does this resolution represent the “New Ways” and bring this story to a fitting conclusion?
Henri’s “fake world” has now become real. New Ways are in place in his New World.
<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>
New Ways: What are the New Ways and do they clearly show up in your lead character’s Act 4 behavior and dialogue?Yes. Henri is brave, down-to-earth, accepts imperfections, realizes the value of his true friends and family, learns to appreciate dogs for their intelligence, uniqueness and loyalty, and takes no more crap from Marc.
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Fred’s Solved Structural Problems:
What I learned from this assignment is that some of my Protagonist’s actions seem to fall short or feel weak because the risk and pressure involved hasn’t been adequately established yet.
Opening/Old Ways: Is this an engaging opening scene that lures us into the story? Is the lead character clearly living in a pre-transformation mode? Do the “Old Ways” show up in their behavior and dialogue?
Engaging? Sure
Pre-transformation mode? Not enough
Jin needs to be handed the reigns to his family, along with Han, Grandpa needs to be exercising his power while his health wanes little by little
Old Ways show up in their behavior and dialogue? Not enough
Jin needs to show his loyalty and affinity for Father’s side of the family
Family is very proud of their accomplishments, grandpa’s wish is that they continue to live with integrity, honesty,
Grandma gives Jin extra abalone, but none to the girl cousin, says she doesn’t need any, treats Jin like a baby while talking about him becoming a man
Show that he is part of the patriarchy, next in line to power
Teaches his little cousin but tells him to shoo later
Chews her out when she feeds the dog?
Maybe also show the lovey-dovey side of him with Emma???
Disrespectful or ignorant towards mom? Not helping her out with the blackhead?
Inciting Incident: How does this incident invite and propel us into the journey?
The call from the mistress pushes Mother off the tipping point, causing her to leave the family and let Jin know who his father really is
Turning Point: How is this Turning Point a twist that locks us into the journey with “no going back?”
Jin decides he can’t be part of a family where his father is the head leader, decides to leave his home and go with Mom
Act 2:
New Plan: What new plan did the protagonist create to deal with the Act 1 Turning Point?
He tries to sneak out with his belongings but Han catches him in the act. Threatens Mother and takes Jin to his grandparent’s, taking his phone too.
Jin wants to get revenge for his mom, expose Han for who he is
Plan in action: How does the protagonist take action on that plan?
Using Emma to get to him, her phone, her friendliness?
When that backfires, he brings Mother to confess
Midpoint Turning Point: How does the Midpoint change the meaning, creating a reveal that changes everything while keeping us on the same journey?
The relatives can’t condemn Han, he is blood
Instead they choose to kick out Mother
Jin is disgusted by their character
Act 3:
React/Rethink: What is revealed to the protagonist from the Midpoint? How do they react or rethink things?
Jin thinks he can’t look to his family to solve this problem, has to look further outside, Mother’s relatives.
New Plan: What new plan did the protagonist create to deal with this new level of conflict?
Get in touch with Uncle and cousins
Turning Point: The lowest of the low. How has this Turning Point brought the character to the lowest of lows, making it almost impossible for them to win in a normal way? This forces them to adopt the change in a much bigger way.
Uncle is in no position to help them
He has no one else to turn to
Ruins his relationship with Emma too
Act 4:
Dilemma: What emotional dilemma requires the protagonist to choose between two alternatives, losing something with either choice?
Bring in the Mistress, cause shame to the whole family
Or maybe even admit to his shortcomings and how he is the same as his dad?
Climax/Ultimate @xpression Of The Conflict: How is this the ultimate expression of the conflict? How does it require a “fight to the death,” either literally or symbolically?
Almost causes Grandpa a heart attack
Family relationship destroyed
Resolution: How does this resolution represent the “New Ways” and bring this story to a fitting conclusion?
Jin understands the sacrifice you have to make for a family, he overlooks the damaged relationship with Han and restores his Grandparent’s livelihood
New Ways: What are the New Ways and do they clearly show up in your lead character’s Act 4 behavior and dialogue?
He is no longer thinking about himself, thinks big picture
Prioritizes family over love or relationship with Emma
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Dave Holloway’s Solved Structural Problems
What I learned doing this assignment is that clearly defining the basic elements of the structure allows for a much stronger, more compelling script.
Act 1
Opening/Old Ways
We see Nigel in court in the opening scene We see his ability to articulate thoughts and emotions, and some underlying passion. The “Old Ways” are clearly on view in his dialogue as he speaks to the jury. This is how he knows how to fight: to argue, use reason, to persuade.
Inciting Incident
Livia’s anguished call to Nigel from Shiloh shows how scared she is, and what a dangerous situations she’s in. The desperate nature of her plight, and Nigel’s clear love for her, make us interested to see what he can do to free her.
Turning Point
The turning point clearly locks us into the journey with no going back. Once Nigel and Roger get on the plane, they are admitting there’s nothing more they can do from England, and that they must fly to Shiloh. They will either succeed or fail there, without any alternative but to continue on the journey to where Livia is imprisoned.
Act 2
New plan: Nigel, after speaking with a representative of the British government, realizes he must go to Shiloh to try to free Livia. So he flies there with his friend Roger, who had asked to come along.
Plan in Action: Nigel and Roger fly to Shiloh. Nigel intends to free Livia in any possible way, whether it is by publicizing the unfairness of her imprisonment, appealing to the public there, appealing to people in Europe, by legal action to obtain her release, or by any other means.
Midpoint Turning Point: As Roger and Nigel ride a bus across Commerce, policemen board the bus and attempt to arrest a leader of the workers’ group rebelling against the government. Roger helps the leader and his bodyguards fight off the police. We see that this state has become profoundly degraded from what America had been, as workers are so mistreated that a full-scale rebellion is occurring, and the reaction is so oppressive that labor leaders are arrested and given long sentences without being caught in the commission of a crime. We begin to feel that Roger and Nigel will have a much more difficult journey across to Shiloh than we had thought.
Act 3
React/Rethink: Nigel realizes that the journey could be much more hazardous than he realized. He tries to prepare himself to use tactics and take chances that he has never taken before.
New Plan: Nigel realizes that he must forego his old belief in honest, mannerly, law-abiding behavior to deal with the rough and lawless conditions he will encounter as they cross to Shiloh.
Turning Point: Livia’s anguished message, telling Nigel she’ll be executed in two days, makes Nigel see that he will have to come up with dangerous action that will result in his and Roger’s execution if it fails to free Livia. Only direct, violent action against the military state will save Livia’s life.
Act 4
Dilemma: Nigel wants to punish the warden of the prison who has incarcerated Livia, because she told him he raped her, and he has put her through such a terrible ordeal. But he knows that if he confronts the warden, the conflict could lead him to have to kill the warden to win the conflict and enable him to escape with Livia and Roger. He has an innate aversion to killing another person, and feels it will in some way permanently lower his decency and moral character as a human being.
Climax/Ultimate Expression of the conflict
This is the ultimate expression of the conflict in that it pits the man trying to save his wife, who is on the side of freedom and decency, against the man in charge of the fascist system that is trying to execute her for unjust, malevolent reasons. A fight to the death is required because Nigel is so angry at the warden’s rape of Livia. When the warden answers that raping prisoners is one of the “perks of the job”, his uncaring attitude so enrages Nigel that he feels compelled to physically attack him.
Resolution: The resolution represents the new ways because Nigel is forced into physical battle with the warden. He can no longer use reason and persuasion as he did in England, to achieve justice. He has to fight the warden to punish him for his rape of Livia and his unjust imprisonment of her. It shows that the new ways are needed to defeat a system as oppressive as that of Shiloh.
New Ways: The new ways are willingness to break rules of civilized, law-abiding behavior Nigel must adopt to save his wife. So he and Roger physically overcome two cops and imprison them in the trunk of a car, Roger helps Livia escape, and Nigel kills the warden of the prison.
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Gayle Solved Structural Problems
What I learned doing this assignment is to look at the major events, question their purpose, direction and authenticity then add scenes to connect them emotionally for a solid draft.
ACT 1
Opening – Rick is desperate for regain the fame he and Sam had from their ghost busting experiences.
Opening/Old Ways: Is this an engaging opening scene that lures us into the story? YES
Is the lead character clearly living in a pre-transformation mode? YES
Do the “Old Ways” show up in their behavior and dialogue? YES – RICK IS A MISOGYNISTIC SHOWBOAT CONSTANTLY TALKING OVER HIS WIFE.
Inciting Incident – They are offered a reality show, but Samantha is set on having a baby and does not want to be in the spotlight.
Inciting Incident: How does this incident invite and propel us into the journey? CONFLICT BETWEEN THE LEAD COUPLE SETS THEM ON A COLLISION WITH THE GHOSTS AND THEIR INDIVIDUAL JOURNEYS TO CHANGE.
Turning Point – Rick ignores Samantha and announces the show and she announces she wants a divorce. The ghosts who live in their house take notice.
Turning Point: How is this Turning Point a twist that locks us into the journey with “no going back?” THE GHOSTS MAKE THEIR PRESENCE KNOWN BY TRYING TO SCARE SAMANTHA AND HAUNTING THE HOUSE TO BRING THEM BACK TOGETHER.
ACT 2
New plan – Caroline and the ghosts decide to scare Samantha into remembering how successful and in love she and Rick were when they were ghost-busting
New Plan: What new plan did the protagonist create to deal with the Act 1 Turning Point? CAROLINE LEARNS SAMANTHA IS SELLING THE HOUSE AND DECIDES TO HELP SAMANTHA REMEMBER SHE HAS A HAPPY LIFE IN THE HOUSE
Plan in action – Caroline stages paranormal experiences in the house.
Plan in action: How does the protagonist take action on that plan? AS CAROLINE AND THE GHOSTS ARE MAKING THINGS HAPPEN, RICK IS TRYING TO WIN SAM BACK IN ORDER TO PROMOTE A REALITY SHOW AND SAM IS TRYING TO GET INFO ON ADOPTION AND PLANNING TO SPEND THE MONEY SHE MAKES ON SELLING THE HOUSE – SO THE GHOSTS SABOTAGE REPAIRS TO DRIVE UP THE HOME IMPROVEMENT BILLS
MP Turn – <s>Two ghosts take over Rick and Sam’s bodies to have sex</s>
Midpoint Turning Point: How does the Midpoint change the meaning, creating a reveal that changes everything while keeping us on the same journey? ORIGINAL FEELS OOKIE SO
NEW MP TURN – RICK COMES OVER TO DISCUSS REPAIR BILLS AND REALITY SHOW AND ADOPTION BUT WIND UP GETTING DRUNK AND HAVING SEX.
MEANING OF THE DIVORCE CHANGES BECAUSE THEY STILL HAVE FEELINGS FOR EACH OTHER – WITH LOVE THERE IS HOPE.
ACT 3
Rethink everything – Rick tries to convince Sam to reconsider but she decides to sell the house. Caroline needs to ramp up and turn Rick into Sam’s hero.
React/Rethink: What is revealed to the protagonist from the Midpoint? How do they react or rethink things? RICK LEARNS SAM IS TIRED OF NOT BEING AN EQUAL PARTNER AND HAVING HER NEEDS PUSHED BACK FOR HIS EGO – HE BEGINS TO SEE HOW HE HURT HER. SAM BEGINS TO SEE HIS NEED FOR SUCCESS IS FUELED BY HIS LACK OF CONFIDENCE TO BE AS GOOD AT THE JOB AS SHE IS.
SEVERAL OF THE EVENTS HAPPEN DURING EMOTIONAL CONVERSATIONS SO SAM IS AWARE OF CAROLINE STAGING THE EVENTS.
New plan – Caroline locks Sam somewhere within the ether of the house – Rick can only hear her. As Sam is locked away she and Rick have a long heart-to-heart that leads to their reunion.
New Plan: What new plan did the protagonist create to deal with this new level of conflict? AFTER SAM CONFRONTS CAROLINE, THE GHOSTS DECIDE TO HIDE THE QUIT CLAIM DEED WHICH WILL PREVENT HER SELLING THE HOUSE SINCE SHE NEEDS RICK’S SIGN OFF.
CAROLINE ALSO HAS HER O.G. PLAN TO MAKE RICK SEEM LIKE A HERO
SO SHE DECIDES TO TAKE A RISK AND BRING THEM TOGETHER FOR A HERO’S RESCUE DAMSEL EVENT LIKE IN HER GOTHIC NOVELS SHE LOVES.
TP All is lost/Major shift – Rick needs his farsi-speaking agent to translate the passage to release Sam, but it also releases a Djinn who inhabits the agent’s body and tries to kill Rick who is saved by Sam.
Turning Point: The lowest of the low. How has this Turning Point brought the character to the lowest of lows, making it almost impossible for them to win in a normal way? This forces them to adopt the change in a much bigger way. RICK CANNOT FIGURE OUT HOW TO RESCUE SAM AFTER CAROLINE’S PLAN ACCIDENTALLY WORKS AND TRAPS SAM IN A LIMBO THAT CAROLINE HAS NO KEY TO UNLOCK.
ACT 4
Climax/Ultimate expression of conflict – Rick leads the exorcism of the djinn from the agent
Dilemma: What emotional dilemma requires the protagonist to choose between two alternatives, losing something with either choice? AFTER RICK AND SAM SPEND THE DAY DISCUSSING HOW TO GET HER OUT, THEIR TRUE FEELINGS COME OUT.
THE EMOTIONAL DILEMMA IS WHETHER TO CONTINUE WITH THE DIVORCE. EITHER OPTION IS UNACCEPTABLE BECAUSE STAY TOGETHER WITHOUT CHANGE OR BREAK UP WITHOUT HOPE.
ALSO… RESCUE – EITHER LEAVE HER UNTIL HE FINDS A SOLUTION/SHE COULD DIE OR TRY THIS NEW PLAN WHICH COULD BURN DOWN THE HOUSE AND KILL EVERYONE ANYWAY.
Climax/Ultimate Expression Of The Conflict: How is this the ultimate expression of the conflict? How does it require a “fight to the death,” either literally or symbolically? THE TAKE THE RISK OF DESTROYING THE HOUSE WHICH WORKS IN UNLOCKING LIMBO, BUT ALSO UNLOCKS THE DJINN WHO POSSESSES JOSIE AND TRIES TO KILL EVERYONE.
Resolution – Rick and Sam work with the ghosts to destroy the djinn forever. Rick and Sam want to stay in their home together and write another book while having a baby.
Resolution: How does this resolution represent the “New Ways” and bring this story to a fitting conclusion? RICK, SAM AND THE GHOSTS WORK TOGETHER WHERE RICK LETS SAM TAKE THE LEAD AND HE REVERSES THE OPENING MOMENT BY DOING THE RITE THAT SAM DID EARLIER WHICH GIVES HIM CONFIDENCE. THEY ACCEPT THE NEED TO TAKE A BREAK, HEAL, WRITE A NEW BOOK AND HAVE A BABY. SO RICK STEPS BACK, COMPLETING HIS ARC.
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Sandra Solved Structural Problems
What I learned doing this assignment is the structure questions really helped to point out where there were any possible structure problems.
THE STRUCTURE QUESTIONS
Act 1:
Opening/Old Ways: Is this an engaging opening scene that lures us into the story? Is the lead character clearly living in a pre-transformation mode? Do the “Old Ways” show up in their behavior and dialogue?
The antagonist, Professor Clark, is introduced in the research lab at night putting something in a test tube and then hiding the vial in a desk drawer.
The protagonist, Lucy, is introduced stepping out of the shower and practicing her dissertation defense in the mirror. She hears a noise and finds flowers in the living room. She is not sure who sent them. Her Old Ways: fearful and timid Ph.D. student, jumps to conclusions, honest and naïve, workaholic.
Inciting Incident: How does this incident invite and propel us into the journey?
Lucy finds a dead research mouse in her lab, and is determined to find out what happened. This incident could change her research and discount her dissertation.
Turning Point: How is this Turning Point a twist that locks us into the journey with “no going back?”
Lucy performs an autopsy and discovers the mouse was poisoned with arsenic. She’s obsessed with finding out why.
Act 2:
New Plan: What new plan did the protagonist create to deal with the Act 1 Turning Point?
Lucy jumps to conclusions, plans to confront her research assistant and find out why she is poisoning the mice.
Plan in action: How does the protagonist take action on that plan?
When Lucy confronts the research assistant, the research assistant denies poisoning the mice, finds an unknown vial in her drawer, and believes she’s being set up by Professor Clark who has a hidden identity.
Midpoint Turning Point: How does the Midpoint change the meaning, creating a reveal that changes everything while keeping us on the same journey?
Lucy receives a phone call from her brother that her mother is in the hospital, and wants Lucy to come home. Lucy’s mother has been hiding the identity of Lucy’s father. Lucy hopes to finally uncover the family secret.
Act 3:
React/Rethink: What is revealed to the protagonist from the Midpoint? How do they react or rethink things?
Lucy is shocked to think Professor Clark may be sabotaging her work. She is also shocked when she hears the news of her mother.
Dilemma: What emotional dilemma requires the protagonist to choose between two alternatives, losing something with either choice?
Lucy faces the biggest dilemma of her life. She must make a choice between career or family.
New Plan: What new plan did the protagonist create to deal with this new level of conflict?
Lucy decides to put her family first and go see her mother.
Turning Point: The lowest of the low. How has this Turning Point brought the character to the lowest of lows, making it almost impossible for them to win in a normal way? This forces them to adopt the change in a much bigger way.
Lucy is unaware of a huge approaching storm. It rains harder and harder and she can barely see the road. She’s rear-ended by a black truck that has been following her, sending her car into the ditch.
Act 4:
Climax/Ultimate Expression of the Conflict: How is this the ultimate expression of the conflict? How does it require a “fight to the death,” either literally or symbolically?
Professor Clark hired someone to follow Lucy and run her off the road, so she wouldn’t be able to give her dissertation. Lucy is not sure she will survive.
Resolution: How does this resolution represent the “New Ways” and bring this story to a fitting conclusion?
The rain lets up and Lucy survives. Lucy sees her mother, and discovers the family secret. Her mother gets better.
New Ways: What are the New Ways and do they clearly show up in your lead character’s Act 4 behavior and dialogue?
New Ways: Lucy is empowered, courageous, places her family first, and thinks things through (examines situations).
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