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Post Your Lesson 8 Assignment here
Post Your Lesson 8 Assignment here
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8 Replies
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ASSIGNMENT: 8
Subject line: (FAY GOODMAN) Likability/Empathy/Justification
I feel I have learnt a great deal about stopping to consider the depth of character of my hero. I asked myself the question, have I actually done justice to my hero’s character/personality? Had I managed to bring out all the qualities which hopefully will bring the audience on board throughout the story to care about him? Telling a complex true story does not always allow, I feel rightly or wrongly, a comfortable three-part approach in one act, but it does pick up a thread which flows throughout the story.
Local stable boy is in awe of the Anders as he grooms the horses. Anders replies modestly as he lovingly grooms his horse Fury.
Anders was hopeful of semi-retirement to spend more time with his horses, but WWII changes everything.
Wounded and captures he is imprisoned by Russian soldiers only to face further regular beatings.
Following the German invasion, Stalin releases Anders for his own purpose. However, he was not expecting this wounded man to stand up to him so stubbornly in an effort to protect his men and the innocent civilians. Anders is in constant conflict with Stalin.
Anders’s shows this same love and devotion towards his men (soldiers) and innocent refugees, his country as he fights to save them from the wrath of Stalin. His goal is to win the war to stop the suffering and death of so many innocent families and soldiers so hopefully they can return their homeland Poland. When the opportunity presents itself, Anders unbelievably persuades Stalin to open the boarders so that the Polish refugee can leave.
Stalin agrees to release Anders Soldiers, but he did not want to release the civilian refugees, Anders insists so they can go with the army. This causes many problems for Anders such as having to sub-divide rations with his army. The soldiers already have too little to sustain them. The allies are not helping Anders as they do everything to appease Stalin.
Stalin believes Anders will do his bidding, but Anders has other ideas as he does not want his men to be used as cannon fodder.
Once Ander’s army is in Persia training, he is mystified at one of his regiments excelling in all areas. What is their secret? This curious change of behaviour is questioned by Anders. He visits the barracks. As the soldiers stand fearful of what may happen when Anders sees a bear cub, to everyone’s surprise, instead of saying ‘the bear must go’, he recommends larger quarters for the new furry recruit!
Anders faces an unbelievable dilemma when his army of skeletons reach Monti Casino. 200,000 men from the allied forces have already died in just 5 months trying to take this strategic spot. With top German crack snipers in place, no one can reach the top of Monti Casino – until Anders arrives.
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What I learned from this assignment is…. That I can go a lot deeper into my lead character’s life. Good and bad.
LIKABILITY/LOVABILITY
A. My hero is a veteran cop who takes care of the small town.
B. He won custody of his twin daughters. Both of whom he had late in life.
C. One of his daughter’s was kidnapped by a drug dealer.
D. The veteran cop used his military skills, but couldn’t save his daughter.
E. After killing dealer. He found his daughter strangled to death inside of killer’s truck.
G. He did everything by the law and lost his daughter anyway.
EMPATHY / DISTRESS
A. The cop’s daughter was taken right in front of him.
B. He was shot in the shoulder by the dealer.
C. The gun shot wound and the cop’s age slowed him down.
D. He takes care of other twin daughter before killer chase.
E. He is forced to use military experience to find daughter.
JUSTIFICATION
A. The dealer is connected to the cop’s ex-wife and he doesn’t know about it.
B. His ex-wife blames cop for their daughter’s death.
C. Ex-wife kidnaps the other twin daughter out of spite. She is a top drug dealer.
D. The cop just buried his daughter when his other twin daughter disappears.
E. The Villain/ex-wife gives him an ultimatum. Intercept contra-band or never see his living daughter again. The hero cop is forced to go against the law and to kill drug dealers.
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This reply was modified 4 years, 3 months ago by Roscoe Pond.
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This reply was modified 4 years, 3 months ago by
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Margaret’s Likability/Empathy/Justification
What I learned doing this assignment: The components to help with Likability/Empathy. I have struggled with this in another script – so happy to have this guide!
Concept: A Roman soldier betrays his mission, squad, and family risking his life to save a band of captured Irish Christians.
1. Brainstorm answers to Likability/Empathy / Distress/Justified for your Hero.
LIKABILITY/LOVABILITY
A. Other people like or respect
the character – Uncle has adopted him.<div>B. The character shows love for
something – Love for GodC. They’re trying to do
something good – Trying to learn sword fighting to defend countryD. Save the cat — rescue or do
something good for someone else – Commits to church and state to rid
Ireland of a “cult”E. Funny, humorous, witty –
Making jokes trudging through the mud on his march through the mudF. Kindness – He lets Mary
Elizabeth’s nephew liveG. Good moral decisions and actions. Being on the right side – Touched by the letter from St. Patrick
EMPATHY / DISTRESS
A. Undeserved misfortune –
Father died as a child </div><div>B. External Character conflicts
– Should he follow his mission or his convictionsC. Plot intruding on life –
Letter from St. Patrick requires him to turn from his missionD. Moral dilemmas.- Must turn
from church and state to follow his convictionsE. Forced decisions they’d never make.- Forced to kill two soldiers from his squad
F. Wound attacked.- Mocked by the squad that his father was killed and it will be the same for him
JUSTIFICATION
A. The character or their family abused.- Accused of being selected for the unit by favoritism from
the commanderB. Threatened by others – threatened by members of his own squad
C. The hero is the victim of attacks – Squad mocks and beats him for not being rightfully part of their group
D. They’ve suffered major losses.- Lost his father as a boy
E. The Villain or their representatives have trespassed.- The squad doesn’t accept him.
2. Sequence for first act:
Opening scene: Marcus is a four-year-old who has just lost his father and struggles to learn to sword fighting with his uncle who has taken over as a father figure. His uncle encourages him to love God and serve his country, which Marcus swears an oath to do.
Marcus signs up with the Roman army at 18. In the hardness of “boot camp” he maintains a jovial spirit.
His uncle has him placed in an elite fighting unit and he is mocked, scorned and beaten by the squad as undeserving since he is new and inexperienced at war (seen as getting in by favoritism, not merit). The squad also pokes fun at his father, saying he was too weak to live past his first mission and they threaten that Marcus will suffer the same fate.
Marcus must prove himself in a competition with the squad.
Marcus commits to ridding Ireland of a “cult” on a mission sanctioned by the church.
On a raid in Ireland, Marcus lets a young boy live instead of killing him per his mission.
In the attempt to free the Christians, Marcus must decide between killing soldiers of his own unit or leaving the Christians to be sold as slaves to the Picts, a barbarian tribe.
Margaret’s Story Map
OPENING
Mission 1: Learn fighting skills from his Uncle Coroticus, who is like a father to him (his own father died as a hero in battle).
Emotion 1: Marcus is a four-year-old who has just lost his father and struggles to learn to sword fighting with his uncle who has taken over as a father figure. His uncle encourages him to love God and serve his country, which Marcus swears an oath to do.
Action 1: Training – Four-year-old Marcus trains with wooden swords.
Mission 2: Marcus (now 18) joins the Roman Army.
Emotion 2: Marcus signs up with the Roman army at 18. In the hardness of “boot camp,” he maintains a jovial spirit.
Villian 1: Coroticus (Roman Commander) chooses his nephew to join his elite squadron (9 soldiers total) for a mission to kill/capture Irish Christians for Rome and the church.
Emotion 3: His uncle has him placed in an elite fighting unit and he is mocked, scorned, and beaten by the squad as undeserving since he is new and inexperienced at war (seen as getting in by favoritism, not merit). The squad also pokes fun at his father, saying he was too weak to live past his first mission and they threaten that Marcus will suffer the same fate.
Mission 3: Marcus must prove himself worthy to the squad members to join the elite military unit.
Emotion 4: Marcus must prove himself in a competition with the squad.
Action 2: Competition among the squad where Marcus reveals his expertise in weaponry (Plumbata, staff sling, crossbow, etc.)
Emotion 5: Marcus commits to ridding Ireland of a “cult” on a mission sanctioned by the church.
Mission 4: Marcus kills/captures Irish Christians (including Mary Elizabeth) under Coroticus’ leadership.
Emotion 6: On a raid in Ireland, Marcus lets a young boy live instead of killing him per his mission.
Villian 2: Coroticus receives a letter from a bishop (St. Patrick). The letter states his mission is not from God, but from the devil. Coroticus shares the letter with the squad.
THE INCITING INCIDENT
Mission 5: Marcus confronts his uncle with St. Patrick’s letter, attempts to turn him from his mission to kill/capture Christians.
Emotion 7: Confronted with the evil nature of his mission (realizing they are true Christians and not a cult he is killing), Marcus stands for what is right, not tradition, and turns from his mission to rescue the Christians.
Villian 3: Coroticus must choose to either follow the Irish Bishop’s guidance and release the Christians (a band of 5 women and 3 youths) or keep his oath to church and state and complete his mission.
Villian 4: Deceives his nephew and secretly sends two of his soldiers to sell the captured Christians to the Picts.
FIRST TURNING POINT AT THE END OF ACT 1
Mission 6: Marcus must free the captured Christians before they are sold.
Action 3: Chase/Pursuit – Marcus must find and save the captured Christians before they reach the Picts
Villian 5: Coroticus realizes his nephew, Marcus, has betrayed him and his mission by going after the Christians to free them.
Action 4: Fight – Hand to hand combat with the two Roman soldiers from his squad guarding the Christians. When the Roman soldiers refuse to give in, he kills them.
Emotion 8: In the attempt to free the Christians, Marcus must decide between killing soldiers of his own unit or leaving the Christians to be sold as slaves to the Picts, a barbarian tribe.
Action 5: Rescue – Marcus frees the Christians and escapes the Picts by taking the Christians down a cliff face to escape. Creatively uses javelin and axe to get the band down the cliff face.
MIDPOINT
Mission 7: Marcus must defeat the Picts.
Action 6: Chase/Pursuit – A band of twenty Picts pursues Marcus and the Christians. Marcus must train the band in the use of weaponry and fighting tactics to avoid capture.
Action 7: Fight – Marcus and the Christians fight the Picts. Marcus risks his life to save Mary Elizabeth. The surviving Picts retreat.
Mission 8: Marcus must take the Christians safely back to their land.
Villian 6: Coroticus pursues Marcus to capture him and the Christians that have escaped.
SECOND TURNING POINT AT THE END OF ACT 2
Mission 9: Defeat Coroticus and his unit.
Action 8: Dangerous Situations – Marcus and the Christians are confronted by Coroticus and the Roman squad (6 soldiers left).
CRISIS
Action 9: Fight/Capture – Marcus and the band of Christians fight but are no match for the elite Roman squad and are captured.
Villian 7: Coroticus gives Marcus the choice between denying his internal convictions, rejoin his squadron and complete the mission given him by church and state or death by stoning.
Action 10: Interrogation: Marcus is confronted by Coroticus, roughly interrogated, given the choice of rejoining the squad or death by stoning.
Mission 10: Marcus will die for his convictions rather than give in.
Villian 8: Coroticus condemns his nephew to death by stoning.
CLIMAX
Mission 11: Protect the Christians from death by stoning.
Action 11: Stoning- Marcus and the band of Christians are stoned by the squad. Marcus has the band cower together and he covers them with his body (and red cape) during the stoning.
RESOLUTION
Villian 9: Coroticus regrets his nephew’s death but is unable to deny his lifelong commitment to church and state. He removes his belt (which represents truth to him), lays it on his nephew’s grave (the stone pile), and takes his unit back out to complete his mission.
Mission 12: A beaten and bruised Marcus stirs from the stone pile, belt in hand. the Christians under his body are alive. Marcus survives to fight again.
Villian 10: Coroticus sees from a distance that Marcus is alive, but, touched by his persistence and dedication to the truth, leaves him be.
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I learned in this lesson to integrate tracks that makes us like and root for our character.
Character: Jun
LIKABILITY/LOVABILITY
A. Other people like or respect the character. – Has a loving girlfriend who is willing to show tough love beating his ass to make him a better eskrimador
B. The character shows love for something. – He shows a love for his girlfriend and his family (a sickly sister)
C. They’re trying to do something good. – Commit a crime to help his dying sister
D. Save the cat – rescue or do something good for someone else – on the way to accept an assignment, he stops a robber from assaulting and stealing from an old man.
E. Funny, humorous, witty. He is charming and has “punny” putdowns
F. Kindness. – he obviously cares for his family, girlfriend and community because it seems everyone knows him.
G. Good moral decisions and actions. Being on the right side. – He is stealing not for himself but to help someone. Has to choose saving his life verses saving someone he loves.
EMPATHY / DISTRESS
A. Undeserved misfortune. Instead of getting arrested, a bounty is put on his head to kill him.
B. External Character conflicts.
C. Plot intruding on life. Sen finds out why Jun wants to get the drive and he is intent on letting time run out for his sister.
D. Moral dilemmas. Having to kill to survive, dieing would also kill his sisters only chance to survive
E. Forced decisions they’d never make. Stealing and killing
F. Wound attacked. Gets increasing hurt along the way.
JUSTIFICATION
A. The character or their family abused. His friend killed and he gets tortured for what he knows
B. Threatened by others.
C. The Hero is the victim of attacks. Everyone wants Jun dead.
D. They’ve suffered major losses. Loses best friend
E. The Villain or their representatives have trespassed.
OPENING:
LIKABILITY/LOVABILITY
A. Other people like or respect the character. – Has a loving girlfriend who is willing to show tough love beating his ass to make him a better eskrimador
B. The character shows love for something. – He shows a love for his girlfriend and his family (a sickly sister)
C. Save the cat – rescue or do something good for someone else – on the way to accept an assignment, he stops a robber from assaulting and stealing from an old man.
INCITING INCIDENT:
LIKABILITY/LOVABILITY
D. They’re trying to do something good. – Commit a crime to help his dying sister
G. Good moral decisions and actions. Being on the right side. – He is stealing not for himself but to help someone.
EMPATHY / DISTRESS
A. Undeserved misfortune. Instead of getting arrested, a bounty is put on his head to kill him.
MIDPOINT
END OF SECOND ACT — TURNING POINT
EMPATHY / DISTRESS
C. Plot intruding on life. Sen finds out why Jun wants to get the drive and he is intent on letting time run out for his sister.
JUSTIFICATION
A. The character or their family abused. His friend killed and he gets tortured for what he knows
CRISIS
Captured and tortured to give up encryption to hard drive
CLIMAX
LIKABILITY/LOVABILITY:
Is able to help sick family member
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I already have a draft of this script complete and was happy that I had already built in all of these elements into the story already, but was helpful to list them out and structure them.
LIKABILITY/LOVABILITY
1. When she wins the bet in the bar, she gives most of the money to someone else, leaving with only $20 in her pocket
2. When a guy wants to leave with her, she protects him – “I’m not good company right now”
3. She’s an ambitious attorney striving to seek justice, when she gives a final statement of mock trial she’s in tears for the victim
4. She rushes home to be with her sister, puts her life on hold
5. She bonds with a young girl who has lost her mother
6. She refuses to kill an innocent man, saves him instead
EMPATHY/DISTRESS
1. She’s attacked, gets hit in the head
2. We learn her parents are dead
3. Her sister and their home are in danger
4. Has to shoot someone to save her sister
5. Put in position to “lie”, which is against her moral code
6. Set up to kill an innocent man when her life’s passion is to seek justice
7. She finally opens up to love, and his life is threatened
8. Discovers her sister is not only ill, but she’s also dying, and there’s nothing she can do to save her
9. Discovers her parents were murdered
JUSTIFICATION
1. She’s attacked by a mugger
2. Head of French mob is extorting her sister/family and destroying the family’s business and livelihood
3. She shoots a man because he is about to kill her sister
4. She’s finally in love and needs to protect the innocent man she loves
5. Her parents were murdered
ACT 1
L/L
1. When she wins the bet in the bar, she gives most of the money to someone else, leaving with only $20 in her pocket
2. When a guy wants to leave with her, she protects him – “I’m not good company right now”
3. She’s an ambitious attorney striving to seek justice, when she gives final statement of mock trial she’s in tears for victim
4. She rushes home to be with her sister, puts her life on hold
E/D
1. She’s attacked, gets hit in the head
2. We learn her parents are dead
3. Her sister and their home are in danger
4. Has to shoot someone to save her sister
J
1. She’s attacked by a mugger
2. Head of French mob is extorting her sister/family and destroying the family’s business and livelihood
3. She shoots a man because he is about to kill her sister
ACT 2
L/L
1. She bonds with a young girl who has lost her mother
E/D
1. Put in position to “lie”, which is against her moral code
2. Set up to kill an innocent man when her life’s passion is to seek justice
ACT 3
L/L
1. She refuses to kill an innocent man, saves him instead
E/D
1. She finally opens up to love, and his life is threatened
2. Discovers her sister is not only ill, she’s dying, and there’s nothing she can do to save her
3. Discovers her parents were murdered
J
1. She’s finally in love and needs to protect the innocent man she loves
2. Seeks revenge to save parents legacy, who were murdered
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<font size=”5″>PATRICIA BROWN Likeability/Empathy/Justification #8 </font>
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What I learned from this assignment…oh, how I want to wordsmith. Tugging at the reins to hold back from prematurely wordsmithing, signaled I found my right action story.
“CONCORDE” by Patricia Brown
(based loosely on a true story)
LIKEABILITY
A. Other people: Her husband adores her
B. Shows love: Her mother depends upon her; she loves both of them; only wants her husband’s child
C. Trying to do something good: They have been trying to have their own baby for 2½ years
D. Something good for someone else: She helps the little girl in the doctor’s office
E. Kindness: She goes grocery shopping with her dying mother and humors her when she wants to enter a contest to win a trip around the world on the Concorde
F. Funny/witty: flirts with her husband, jokes in French, Spanish and English
G. Good moral decisions/being on the right side: Adamant they will do anything it takes to have each other’s baby, including years of fertility shots; when she finds out after entering that her mother is dying and she is pregnant, she decides this is her last chance to spend with her mother on the trip and risks even her unborn child
EMPATHY/DISTRESS
A. Undeserved misfortune: she took shots for 2 ½ years and still isn’t pregnant
</font><font size=”5″>
B. External Character Conflict: fertility doctor wants to cut the shots off because she is too old and ruining his trials; when she wins the contest for the trip with her dying mother, she fights with her husband about going after they learn she IS pregnant after all
C. Plot intruding on life: her biological clock ticking, but she enters a once-in-a-life trip around the world because she is resigned she won’t get pregnant the very last month of her last shot. She discovers her mother’s clock is also ticking down on her life expectancy
D. Moral dilemmas: should she go on the last trip with her dying mother around the world, or risk her unborn child? Should she tell her mother that she knows her mother is dying? Should she tell her husband and mother she is pregnant?
E. Forced decisions they’d never make: If she had her way, she’s be on shots another year. If her mother was well or she wasn’t trying to get pregnant, she’d skip the trip. But, they won and have hours to accept. It’s only a “day” trip, how much damage can be done?
F. Wound attacked: Grieving the chance to have a baby and her mother dying, she decides to go on the trip to help her cope with her pending “losses”
JUSTIFICATION
A. Character and family abused: Villain cuts her shots off. Gives her a placebo. Kidnaps husband. Takes mother hostage. She must fight to save who she
loves the most, her family: her husband, mother and unborn child.
B. Threatened by others: Villain will explode the Concorde when it reaches maximum speed of Mach 2.2.
C. Hero is the victim of attacks: Chases her after her TV appearance on French TV in Toulouse. Tries to lace her French cuisine on the Concorde to force her miscarriage inflight? Also stabbed while being strip-searched in the UAE. Villain mission shifts from killing her to harvesting the placenta which contains his formula for the world-wide patent worth billions
D. Major losses: her husband gets taken hostage back home; the kind stewardess gets killed onboard; her mother is taken in Acapulco
E. Trespasses: Enters her home to kidnap her husband and destroy the records of her shots. Enters her mother’s home to get id to plant decoy in Acapulco. Has goons in the crew on the Concorde.
SEQUENCE:
Opening: Rich and Dr. Calista Novak are in a doctor’s office surrounded by 30 very-pregnant women, some with their kids in tow. We learn they want a child, have been on experimental fertility shots, they love each other, and time is running out. We see Calista is a vet, is good with kids, can joke in three languages, and has the tenacity of a bulldog.
Dr. Carolos Sueldo, the creator of the designer fertility drugs, has his mission: to win the XPRIZE worth $10 million for scientific innovation, create a world-wide monopoly on his patent and rake in billions in perpetuity. Calista is the only cog in his plans. At 42, she has not gotten pregnant, so he lies to her and says “The Board” is kicking her off his trials. She begs for one more month of shots. He says okay, but, in fact, he will give her only a placebo. He’s done with her.
Calista is at the grocery store with her mother, Joan, shopping for cancer-fighting veggies. Joan does not disclose that her doctor has told her to “get her affairs in order” because she is in stage four. At the checkout stand, Joan grabs a contest entry form to win a trip around the globe on the Concorde for two, sponsored by a beer company and XPRIZE.
The next day, Joan gives Calista $20 to overnight the entry form for both of them to win the trip. She humors her mother thinking the odds of winning are against them and, even though she thinks Joan is in remission, believes such a trip would be too taxing on Joan’s health. She mails it per Joan’s instructions.
Rich and Calista are at home getting ready to perform the now-ritualistic and optimistic ritual of him shooting the fertility drug into her butt. They pray, they dance. They dance with their dog. They have no idea that it contains no magic elixir and that they are now off fertility drugs. Ovulating, they make exuberant love.
The special delivery mail she must sign for arrives when Calista is in the bathroom taking a pregnancy test. She puts the test down before she can read it, washes her hands and goes out. She rips it open as Joan arrives—they won the trip! Joan and Calista must sign the affidavits immediately saying they accept and send back or their places will be given away. Pressured, Calista signs without consulting her doctor–or Rich. Joan goes to mail them. Calista returns to the bathroom and reads it: she is pregnant. Just to be sure, she takes a second confirming test.
Before she speaks to Rich, she goes to her long-time family doctor to confirm the pregnancy a third time. She confides to the doctor about her dilemma: should she stay home to protect her child, or go on the trip with Joan? Joan’s doctor too, she slips and tells Calista her mother doesn’t have much time left.
Back home, Calista has set the stage for telling Rich both the good news and the bad. He is ecstatic about the pregnancy (ironically, being off the fertility drugs triggered ovulation at the right time) and furious about the trip after so much investment in getting pregnant and putting the baby at risk.
Dr. Sueldo reveals to his goons he will shed crocodile tears after the Concorde explodes killing Calista and claiming his “favorite” patient chose to go on a dangerous trip without his blessing. His connections to the XPRIZE arranged not just the bomb, but for the Concorde contest and to have Calista win two seats. He assumes wrongly
that she is taking Rich with her. If Rich goes, there can be no inquiries about her treatments after their demise.
Rich, suppressing his anger, bids Calista and Joan a tearful goodbye before they board their flight to JFK and the Concorde. Joan is happy and can’t decipher the mixed messages she is getting from both of them. She doesn’t know that they know this will be her very last trip with her only child before cancer gets her, or that Calista is pregnant with her grandchild.
The trip leader from the sponsors welcomes all the winners and introduces the crew at a hotel at JFK the night before with balloons, bands and champagne, which Calista won’t drink. He explains the mission: set a Guinness World record for going around the world as fast as it can (Mach 2.2 tops), stops for refueling in Toulouse, France, the United Arab Emirates, Guam, Hawaii, Acapulco, and back to New York. The current world record is 36 hours. They will see four sunrises and have a gourmet French meal every leg of the flight. A raucous cheer goes up when he announces that the beer and French wines are free and unlimited.
The next day at the special Concorde pad at JFK, the parade of contestants embark.
TURNING POINT AT END OF FIRST ACT: The Concorde takes off. There is no turning back. The Hero and the Villain missions are set.
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<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Madeleine’s Likability/Empathy/Justification
What I learned doing this assignment is that a few additions to the plot can make the hero likable, empathetic/distressed, and justified. I love how layering these different steps is bringing my story to life.
Hero: likability/empathy/distress/justified.
LIKABILITY/LOVABILITY
Other people like or respect her. She is happily married to a man, who would like her to be doing safer work. He’s very happy she accepted the legal attaché position and has moved his remote workspace to Rome to be with her.
Her son is rebellious, but he loves her.
She has advanced as a FBI case agent to qualify for the Legal Attaché position.
The character shows love. She loves her husband and her son.She’s trying to do something good in her position as an FBI Agent.D. Save the cat — rescue or do something good for someone else.E. Funny, humorous, witty.F. Kindness.Good moral decisions and actions. She definitely is on the right side.
EMPATHY / DISTRESS
Undeserved misfortune. Being in the Basilica at the time of its takeover and having her son taken hostage is definitely a misfortune.B. External Character conflicts.C. Plot intruding on life.Moral dilemmas. Kill or not kill. E. Forced decisions they’d never make.F. Wound attacked.
JUSTIFICATION
A. The character or their family abused. Threatened by others. She is threatened by the mercenaries who have taken over the Basilica.The Hero is the victim of attacks.D. They’ve suffered major losses.E. The Villain or their representatives have trespassed.<div>
STRUCTURE/PLOT/OUTLINE
Opening:
Rome skyline >
Peter’s Square >
Likeability: Hero is walking with son toward St. Peter’s Basilica. She’s on the phone with her husband, telling him she and their son will stop in the Basilica for confessions before coming home. He’s getting dinner ready. They kissy face on the phone.
Likeability: Hero is walking with her son toward St. Peter’s Basilica when a team of pickpockets snatches a woman’s purse. Hero pursues the culprit, takes him down, and takes possession of the stolen purse. The police arrive and take the culprit into custody.
She returns the purpose to the victim. The victim expresses heartfelt gratitude. The crowd around her cheers.
Likeability: Hero’s son is embarrassed by the whole affair. He’s a teenager with a bit of a rebellious streak. She gives her son a kiss on the cheek. They walk on toward St. Peter’s Basilica.
Inciting Incident:
V1: Mercenaries, dressed like Swiss Guards, enter the Basilica through an underground tunnel and secret door. One by one they take out the real Swiss Guards and then close down the Basilica. They shed their Swiss Guard uniforms and now look like soldiers
V2: Mercenaries start herding Basilica’s occupants toward a central and easily controlled location.
M1: FBI AGENT sits in the confessional about to confess her sins when she hears a disturbance outside among the penitents.
Peeking out the confessional door, she sees uniformed, armed men herding the penitents, including her son, into a controllable location. Something is terribly wrong.
Question: Who are these soldiers? What do they want? Is my son in danger?
M2: Likeability: She tells the priest about the armed men. He verifies they shouldn’t be there. She tells the priest to shut off the confessional lights. They’ll leave the confessional whenever it’s safe.
V3: Lead mercenary accompanies a couple of his soldiers to the exhibit of the Sacred Chalice on loan from Valencia Cathedral. He gets them started on the extraction.
M3: Using her mobile phone, the FBI Agent contacts the U. S. Embassy, where she is a legal attaché, advises them the Basilica has been taken over by armed men, and requests they notify the Italian Police and Vatican City of the situation.
First Turning Point at end of Act 1 and First Action:
M4: The Priest and FBI Agent are caught on the mercenaries’ drone camera.
Threatened by others
V4: Empathy/Distress. The mercenary leader sends two soldiers to round them up.
Italian Police & Swiss Guard plan an offensive.
M5: Moral Dilemma. Kill or not kill. The FBI Agent takes out the two mercenaries, one at a time.
V5: Surprised at this unexpected development, he calls a meeting of the remaining soldiers. DECISION: Kill the now armed woman with the drone.
V6: The lead mercenary calls back the drone and adds a weapon to it.
The Priest shares with the FBI Agent that he defied his father, who wanted him to become a doctor, to become a priest. His father disowned him. He tells her why he became a Priest????
Mid-Point: The Priest and the FBI Agent discover three mercenaries working to free the Sacred Chalice, on loan from the Valencia Cathedral. This is not just a hostage situation. It’s also a heist. The journey is the same, but the meaning has changed.
M6: The FBI Agent conveys this new knowledge to the U. S. Embassy, who conveys it to the Italian Police and Vatican City.
Question: Who is behind the heist?
V7: The lead mercenary negotiates with the Italian Police, who show up at the Basilica. The lead mercenary demands safe passage out of Italy in exchange for the Basilica and the hostages. This is a smoke screen to give them time to extricate the Sacred Chalice.
V8: The mercenaries push back a second group of Italian Police attempt to access the Basilica through the same secret tunnel through which the mercenaries made entrance.
V9: The armed drone searches for the FBI Agent and the Priest.
The press starts reporting on the hostage situation. This feed is available to both the mercenaries and the FBI Agent.
Second Turning Point at end of Act 2:
Justification: Just as the FBI Agent and the Priest realize they’re on their own fighting the bad guys, the weaponized drone finds the Priest and the FBI Agent and fires on them. Caught by surprise, they’re sitting ducks. The FBI Agent is hit in the left shoulder.
M7: The FBI Agent shoots down the drone.
V10: The mercenaries working on the Sacred Chalice exhibit finally free it. The lead mercenary comes running. Just as he arrives on the scene, the chalice descends down a deep shaft into a cement vault. A bullet proof metal cover closes over the shaft. The villain did not have this in his playbook. It’s a setback for the villain.
But then they find out from the outside media that one of the hostages is the daughter of a San Francisco billionaire. New game plan. All they have to do is find out which of their hostages is the billionaire’s daughter.
V11: The mercenaries, armed with an old photo of the billionaire’s daughter, start examining hostages to find the right woman.
M8: The priest identifies the billionaire’s daughter first because he knows who she is. She’s a regular at the Basilica.
Based on information from the priest and conveyed by the FBI Agent to the Italian Police over her cell phone, the Italian Police will enter the Basilica by another, little-used tunnel.
M9: The FBI Agent substitutes herself for the Billionaire’s daughter. The priest spirits the real billionaire’s daughter toward the hidden tunnel through which the Italian Police plan to enter.
Crisis: The FBI Agent’s son calls out, “Mom” when he sees his mother among the hostages.
V12: The lead mercenary seizes him and holds him hostage. He forces the kid up the stairs to the cupola ahead of him. The FBI Agent gives chase.
Climax: The Italian Police invade the Basilica. Led by the priest, they quickly take out the remaining mercenaries. Only the leader is left. They head up the stairs after him.
V13: At the top of the cupola, the mercenary leader pulls out his gun to shoot the FBI Agent, but his gun jams.
M10: The FBI agent rushes toward him. They struggle. She frees her son from the mercenary’s grip.
The Italian Police arrive. They shoot him. The force of the attack throws him over the balcony.
Resolution: FBI Agent is reunited with her son and husband. The Priest is reunited with his father, who no longer cares about his calling.
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Bob DeCarli’s Likability/Empathy/Justification
What I learned: I found that, when using the fill in the blank approach, I can create more when I do several run throughs of the steps, filling as many in as possible on one run, then adding more on the next. On this one, I ended up adding several key things when I incorporated the answers in my outline.
1. Brainstorm answers to Likability/Empathy / Distress/Justified for your Hero.
LIKABILITY/LOVABILITY
A. Other people like or respect the character.
In his job at [customs/border/point of entry] admin/low level people like and respect him. People who aren’t as strong as him look at him as nice.
B. The character shows love for something.
C. They’re trying to do something good.
Big backup of people trying to get in the country; he speeds up the process; pregnant woman, something. [suspense we think Henchman #1 is going to make it through]
D. Save the cat — rescue or do something good for someone else.
Bends rules to help pregnant woman who’s having a minor medical emergency get through customs/entry point quicker.
E. Funny, humorous, witty.
Self-deprecating, humble demeanor.
F. Kindness.
He shows kindness and respect for subordinates, people who lack power.
G. Good moral decisions and actions. Being on the right side.
In contrast to one of his tough guy colleagues, he’s trying to be the good guy rather than the tough guy.
EMPATHY / DISTRESS
A. Undeserved misfortune.
Accidentally kills a young boy. He’s truly innocent and there is no reprimand or punishment, but HE can’t forgive himself.
B. External Character conflicts.
C. Plot intruding on life.
The bad guy’s rep shows up at his home to gently request the return of THE DEVICE.
D. Moral dilemmas.
Keeps THE DEVICE that he took from Henchman #1 secret, and keeps it for himself rather than turning it over and trying to explain to others what he experienced.
E. Forced decisions they’d never make.
Shooting someone in self-defense after he’s foresworn violence.
F. Wound attacked.
He’s derided for losing his edge, turning into a pacifist.
JUSTIFICATION
A. The character or their family abused.
He’s laughed at by his fellow/former cop colleagues.
B. Threatened by others.
Bad Guy’s Consiglieri threatens him, in a very subtle and polite way.
C. The Hero is the victim of attacks.
After firmly but politely declining the Consiglieri’s request, his home invaded by bad guys’ thugs.
D. They’ve suffered major losses.
E. The Villain or their representatives have trespassed.
Bad Guy’s Consiglieri knows all the Hero’s secrets, having accessed every computer file and electronic data there is about him.
2. Organize them into a sequence that happens in the first Act of your script and tell us the story in a concise form (like I did for John Wick and Salt above).
At the beginning of the script, the Hero is a [drug interdiction officer], and is in the midst of an intense chase sequence, the Hero accidentally kills a young boy. He’s truly innocent and there is no reprimand or punishment, but HE can’t forgive himself, so he has sworn off any violence or use of force, and even refuses to carry a gun.
He’s then derided for losing his edge, turning into a pacifist, and regularly laughed at by his fellow/former cop colleagues. But he responds with self-deprecating, humble demeanor.
The Hero takes a new job, basically working security at [customs/border/point of entry]. In his position, he shows kindness and respect for subordinates, people who lack power. The admin/low level people he works with like and respect him. People who aren’t as strong as him look at him as nice. In contrast to one of his tough guy colleagues, he’s trying to be the good guy rather than the tough guy.
On day, there is a big backup of people trying to get through customs (and henchman #1 is in the line). Bends rules to help pregnant woman who’s having a minor medical emergency get through customs/entry point quicker. Henchman #1 attempts to move through during the chaos. TOUGH GUY colleague escalates things, but Hero intervenes, and diffuses the situation. Henchman #1 drops THE DEVICE. Hero picks it up, just as Henchman #1 pulls gun, Tough Guy colleague cowers/flounders, fumbles drops his gun. Hero – who does not carry a gun – instinctively dives toward the gun and picks it up and shoots Henchman #1, preventing him from killing Tough Guy.
The Hero is horrified that he’s shot and killed someone after swearing off violence, even though the shooting was in self-defense and defense of a colleague. But he keeps THE DEVICE that he took from Henchman #1 secret, and keeps it for himself rather than turning it over and trying to explain to others what he experienced He is out on leave pending the investigation of the shooting, although he is told not to worry. He goes home.
The bad guy’s rep, his Consiglieri. shows up at his home to gently request the return of THE DEVICE. The Consiglieri threatens him, in a very subtle and polite way. The Consiglieri knows all the Hero’s secrets, having accessed every computer file and electronic data there is about him. Pushes all the buttons that would set off most people, but again, he responds with self-deprecating humor. The Hero denies knowledge of the Device’s existence, But the Consiglieri shows high resolution video of the Hero pocketing the item. He points out to the Hero that, as a member of law enforcement, had no lawful right to keep it, as he did, but the rightful owner has no wish to ruin his career. The rightful owner is willing to pay a handsome finder’s fee for the return of THE DEVICE. Nevertheless, the Hero politely but firmly declines the request.
After declining to return it, his home invaded by bad guys’ thugs to kill him and take the device. Yet, although it would be much easier to kill his attackers in order to defend himself, he does not do so.
3. Decide which ideas you’d like to keep and add them to your structure/plot
/outline.
Answers incorporated into existing outline.
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