-
Post Your Lesson 8 Assignment Here
Reply and post your assignment here.
-
31 Replies
-
Janeen’s Beat Sheet Draft 2
What I learned doing this assignment is
Act 1: 25-30 pp. Set Up and see Old Ways – 10 scenes so far
INT. MOTHER’S LIVING ROOM – DAY
Opening: Doc chastises Jym for not sticking with the diet he gave her and shames her for her weak will and lack of effort. She is mortified.
INT. MOTHER’S GUEST BEDROOM – DAY
Doc loves his wife to distraction, but her health keeps deteriorating as she too fails on diet after diet. Doc lectures his wife.
INT. DINING TABLE – DAY
Mentor is honoring them with his presence and talking up his clinical trial business and how lucrative it is. Mama is listening and likes it. Doc and Ashley admire the mentor.
INT. MOTHER’S LIVING ROOM – DAY
Family is stuffed and sprawled on furniture after meal. Everybody’s fat but Doc and his kids. They are also the only ones awake and Doc contemplates the scene.
INT. JYM’S GYM – DAY
Jym tells Trainer he’s got the job. Then OB comes in and she says he’s eye candy and inspiration.
INT. DOC’S OFFICE – DAY
Other docs share holiday pics, he says he didn’t take any — his wife’s the shutterbug — and is embarrassed to show his family. He has a pic of everyone sprawled on his phone and he shakes his head at it.
INT. JYM’S GYM – DAY
Inciting Incident: Jym fails at yet another of her brother’s diets and decides to look for a diet that will work for her and research why all of these diets have failed for her. She does her research and homes in on carb control as the key to weight loss and abolishing cravings.
INT. DOC’S BEDROOM – DAY
Doc gets his wife an insulin pump in hopes it will help her to feel better.
INT. JYM’S KITCHEN – EVENING
Jym has a sheet with Banting Diet printed on it and puts appropriate groceries away, side-eyeing the wine.
INT. DOC’S OFFICE – DAY
Doc lectures his clients about willpower and sticking to the diet/exercise regimen.
INT. JYM’S HOUSE – NIGHT
Turning Point: Jym tries Banting, finds it difficult. She thinks the drinking is inappropriate and is always on the edge of a binge. She looks for reasons people binge — carb crash. This could be a humorous conversation with Trainer.
Act 2: 20-30 pp. Challenge the Old Ways — 11 scenes so far
INT. JYM’S GYM – DAY
Reaction: Jym loses weight on the Banting diet although it is inconvenient and after a heavy workout she can no longer stick to it. Jym finds Keto and low carb. She finds low carb works, but she is hungry sometimes and has other issues. Keto seems to help her. Another discussion with Trainer.
INT. DOC’S OFFICE – DAY
Time has moved forward a month or two. Doc trusts his colleagues on advice to help his clients, but balks when they talk about weight loss drugs.
INT. JYM’S GYM – DAY
The OB challenges Jym because others see her success and want to do what she does. That’s dangerous. Trainer agrees.
INT. DOC’S BEDROOM – NIGHT
Ashley (s-i-l) feels much better with her insulin pump and is proud of her husband for helping her. He is totally discouraged because it means she’s slipped down another section of the diabetic slide.
INT. JYM’S KITCHEN – NIGHT
The Plan: Jym looks at the makeup of the diet, considers carb effects after exercise. Since she’s already low-carb, she needs to convince trainer to go less carb-depleting on her exercise.
INT. JYM’S GYM – DAY
The trainer is hard to convince and tries proportionally more carbs in his diet.
INT. JYM’S GYM – NIGHT
Timelapse and we see how hard it is even for him. He is convinced and she convinces him to research strength building that doesn’t impact blood sugar. They discuss the difference in men’s and women’s carb needs to stay in ketosis or simply away from cravings.
INT. DOC’S OFFICE – DAY
Doc realizes the pump is a stopgap measure in his wife’s decline and tries a pre-packaged diet like his upscale partners prescribe for their clients.
INT. JYM’S GYM – DAY
Turning Point 2: MIDPOINT — Jym calculates why she failed after exercise and why every diet has failed her and makes adjustments to diet/exercise.
INT. DOC’S OFFICE – DAY
A few months later, Doc sees the money opportunity when mentor wants to retire from doing clinical trials in a different state. The mentor wants him to take over. Doc mulls it over and decides he must.
EXT. PARK – DAY
Ashley does not lose much weight with the prepackaged diet, but attends a 4th of July picnic, eats small portions of family favorites and lands in the hospital. Doc is devastated.
Act 3: 20-30 pp. With Midpoint change, Profound moments that give us new ways – 10 scenes so far
INT. JYM’S GYM – DAY
New Plan: Jym finds a lot of evidence to back up her new opinions and also realizes why her s-i-l keeps going downhill. Jerking around the body’s source of energy wreaks havoc on the metabolism and energy levels.
EXT. DOC’S HOUSE – DAY
Doc leaves family to learn the clinical trials business with his mentor. A last minute romantic session with his wife makes him late for his plane.
INT. JYM’S GYM – DAY
Ashley begs Jym to give her the best diet. She refuses. Jym recruits OB to monitor Ashley while Doc is out of town learning his mentor’s business and let’s Ashley try the diet.
INT. JYM’S GYM – DAY
Montage of gym members telling her the diet problems. Diet hard with kids in the house. Diet cost too high. Isn’t Jym undermining her own gym’s training programs and classes with her new exercise prescriptives?
INT. JYM’S KITCHEN – NIGHT
More research montage in gym and at home — Jym finds THM, Schwarzbein, Atkins various diets – including overweight kids, works with S-i-L on cost-conscious diet menus and shopping lists — if it’s not in the house, they can’t eat it.
INT. JYM’S GYM – DAY
Turning Point: Jym has lost weight and her s-i-l loses weight under the OB’s watch. Doc is furious while home on a weekend and orders Ashley to stop and Jym to cease and desist or he will pull her funding. Ashley is in tears and Jym is furious.
INT. DOC’S BEDROOM – NIGHT
Doc can’t resist and Ashley is more than willing.
INT. MENTOR’S OFFICE – DAY
Doc sees the funding of the studies and questions Mentor about motives of studies. Doc understands how money has influenced treatment
INT. APT. LIVING ROOM – NIGHT
Researches studies that point to something other than drugs — diets — and has a revelation of gigantic proportions.
INT. MENTOR’S OFFICE – DAY
Doc finds that his wife’s progress and his mentor’s research are totally at odds. Which should he believe?
Act 4: 25 pp. Test the change in this character! Prove New Ways! – 10 scenes so far.
INT. JYM’S GYM – DAY
New Way Proof: S-I-L refuses to go back to her old diets. She loses more weight and gains health as do several others at the gym. Jym develops/refines low cost menus and shopping lists for SNAP and WIC clients as well as intro materials and hand-outs.
INT. APT. LIVING ROOM – NIGHT
Doc researches studies that point to something other than drugs — diets — and has a revelation of gigantic proportions.
INT. JYM’S GYM – DAY
Climax: Jym, Ashley and the gym clientele are proof that Jym is right and even her poor clients who can’t afford most carb control diets are succeeding with their families on her new SNAP and WIC-friendly menus.
INT. MENTOR’S OFFICE – DAY
Doc tells his mentor about the research and the effects of the meds on the body and mentor blows up, says he’s throwing away a good thing, says morally it isn’t wrong, but Doc says ethically, it leads us away from the real solution, not toward it.
INT. DOC’S HOUSE – NIGHT
Doc understands how to help his wife and is surprised that she has already been helped — by Jym. He tries to rescue Ashley with his diet findings and she has already implemented them and refined them to suit her metabolism and health and he is shocked at how well-read and informed she is. She is also sexy. 🙂
INT. JYM’S GYM – DAY
Doc talks to Jym and she pleads her case about blame and guilt for non-losers and her program of positive help and results. He says she’s still practicing medicine without a license. She says she’s practicing nutrition, something most doctors know a low less about than she does.
INT. DOC’S BEDROOM – NIGHT
Doc is talked into helping others by his wife who says she wants to work at Jym’s gym so Jym can spend more time advising people. OB has been helping people, but really doesn’t have time available to meet the needs of the neighborhood.
INT. DOC’S BEDROOM – MORNING
Doc says he’s given up on the clinical trial business and needs a job. Jym can’t manage alone and he’s reached the conclusion he has to take OB’s place in Jym’s endeavors.
INT. JYM’S GYM – DAY
Conclusion: Jym and Trainer talk about Ashley taking over the management. He says he will miss her. She says he will no longer work for her so he doesn’t have to suck up. He says that he can stop beating around the bush and pulls her in. Romance storyline complete.
EXT. NEW CLINIC – DAY
Jym joins her brother at a local clinic/resource center and Ashley takes over the gym, helping their community regain its health and vitality.
-
MARK’S BEAT SHEET DRAFT 2
What I learned from doing this assignment is how focusing the actions of the antagonist directly or indirectly against the protagonist and her allies, makes for more pointed conflict – instead of simply doing bad things that aren’t directly aimed.
ANTAGONIST BEATS
1. Drake follows Victoria on the dock before the ship sails. She is afraid and loses him.
2. Drake challenges Jensen in the control room. Victoria overhears but doesn’t see who it is.
3. She is shocked to see Drake for the first time when the derelict ship appears. She realizes its the man who followed her.
4. Drake treats a member of the crew with torturous delight.
5. He steals food and hides it away.
6. He spreads rumors about Jensen, angling for control.
7. He avoids working on the runway and spends time in his hiding place, brooding.
8. He tries to lure Victoria away from the group, and when she gets suspicious, he grabs her, carries her to the ice cave, ties her up.
9. He reveals his goal of living there in his “kingdom” alone with her as he carries out his assault. She touches him gently, and he cries in misery.
10. He chases after her and falls into the freezing sea as the ice breaks up.
ACT 1
EXT. DESERT – DAY
OPENING; Tony is hot-dog flying through the desert with Victoria enjoying it. He proposes marriage, she is ecstatic. They are infatuated with each other completely.
EXT. POST OFFICE – DAY
She receives the notice of the arctic research expedition
INT/EXT. HER HOME – DAY
TE 1: PLACEHOLDER she decides to go on the arctic cruise. Grandfather?
EXT. FRONT PORCH – DAY
INCITING INCIDENT: He forbids her to take the artic voyage. She demands her freedom to go. They part in anger.
EXT. MONTAGE – TRAIN STATION, DOCKS
TE 2: The trip involves trains and ships, and she struggles at the same time she is awed by her new world. She struggles to keep her wits and luggage. Drake follows Victoria on the dock before the ship sails. She is afraid and loses him.
EXT. RESEARCH SHIP DECK – DAY
PLACEHOLDER; Enjoying her first impression of the arctic world
EXT. RESEARCH SHIP – DAY
TURNING POINT; The ship she boards sails into a storm and gets locked in the ice. The wind blows them away from land toward the North Pole.
INT. SHIP – DAY
PLACEHOLDER; Drake, the first mate, tries to test Captain Jensen. Victoria overhears, has Drake on her radar. Argument over the radio call for help.
ACT 2
EXT. RESEARCH SHIP – DAY
TE 3: A ship is sighted in the distance, and salvation seems at hand. But it is revealed to be a derelict with frozen corpses on deck.
Drake, laughs ghoulishly, reveals his ugly inner drive, and declares they will never be saved. She is shocked to see Drake for the first time, realizes its the man who followed her. She realizes what an awful danger he is..
INT. ABOARD SHIP – DAY
Victoria reveals her concern about Drake to Jensen. They relate to each other.
EXT. RESEARCH SHIP – DAY
Midpoint Turning Point: The ship is slowly crushed in the ice. They have to evacuate to the ice field.
EXT. RESEARCH SHIP – DAY
TE 4: She decides to put aside her fear and help in the shipwreck. Drake treats a member of the crew with torturous delight, to her horror. They unload all the cargo, food and supplies. They are stranded.
Everyone is frantic at their plight. Drake smiles to himself, looking at Victoria.
EXT. TONY’S PLANE – DAY
Tony flies to Point Barrow, Alaska and starts his search flights, while the Navy stays grounded due to weather.
ACT 3
EXT. ICE FIELD – DAY
Rethink everything: They build crude shelters and tents and create a small town to survive. Drake steals food and hides it away.
INT. TENT – DAY
TE 5: Jensen shakes her admiration of Amelia Earhart to the core. They connect more deeply. Sympathetic feelings. Jensen reveals vulnerability – Captain story.
EXT. ICE CAMP – DAY
New plan: Some men want to trek away to safety. Drake spreads rumors about Jensen, angling for control. Jensen has to put down the uprising that Drake is behind. Victoria gives Jensen the idea to build a runway for plane rescue.
INT/EXT. – MAIN TENT – DAY
Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift: The wind blows away the radio antenna leaving them out of radio contact.
EXT. – ICE CAMP – NIGHT
TE 6: A polar bear attacks the camp and she braves danger to save lives. A woman and baby are spared.
INT. SHACK – NIGHT
Drake steals food and supplies
EXT. ICE CAMP – DAY
Jensen announces the build of the runway. Astonishment, skepticism.
EXT. RUNWAY – DUSK
The runway is built, then cracks develop as the ice shifts each day.
EXT. RUNWAY – DAWN
TE 7: When men give up, she convinces them to carry on. They dig with frozen hands. Drake avoids working on the runway and spends time in his hiding place, brooding.
INT/EXT. NAVY STATION – DAY
Tony is grounded by the Navy and prevented from flying. He tries to dig his plane out of the ice and collapses in exhaustion.
Act 4:
EXT. NAVY STATION – DAY
Tony is joined by his sidekick Nick, who arrives at the Navy base with ten other fliers to attempt rescue.
EXT. PLANE COCKPIT – DAY
Tony discovers the camp, and the runway. The frantic people prevent him from rescuing Victoria first.
EXT. RUNWAY – DAY
Planes land over the next few days, rescuing many, one and two at a time.
EXT. ICE FIELD – DAY
Drake tries to lure Victoria away from the group, and when she gets suspicious, he grabs her, carries her to the ice cave, ties her up.
INT. NAVY STATION – NIGHT
Tony compares notes with Nick, wondering how many have been rescued. He thinks one of the other planes rescued Victoria.
INT. ICE CAVE – DAY
TE 8: She is physically powerless against Drake. She politely converses with him and it cracks through his psychotic shell. He reveals his goal of living there in his “kingdom” alone with her as he carries out his assault. His love for her is warped. She pities him, touches his face gently, and he breaks down, crying in misery.
EXT. RUNWAY – DAY
Captain Jensen is the last one on the ice. Everyone else has been rescued. Nick arrives on the last flight. The runway is breaking up in the spring thaw.
EXT. RUNWAY – DAY
PLACEHOLDER: A plane gets damaged while landing. Tony?
INT. ICE CAVE – DAY
Victoria struggles in the ice cave as she watches Tony fly off with Jensen.
EXT. ICE FIELD – DAY
Victoria runs out of the cave, pursued by Drake. Jensen spots them. Tony lands the plane. Jensen fights Drake as the ice breaks up. Victoria makes it to the plane, and Jensen yells to take off. Jensen throws Drake down and runs for the plane as Drake slides into the sea on the melting ice.
EXT. NAVY STATION – DAY
Tony thanks Jensen for saving Victoria. Jensen avows it was she who saved him. Victoria avows it was Tony who saved her emotionally and physically.
EXT. SMALL TOWN CHURCH – DAY
Victoria and Tony are reunited, and are married by Jensen.
-
Sam Reynolds – Beats – Assignment #8
<font face=”inherit”>What I learnt this time was that I do see the beats differently when searching for something specific like the antagonist POV or the theme. It </font>makes<font face=”inherit”> it easier to pick it out or add certain scenes if need be to highlight those aspects.</font>
Concept: After having to terminate her baby at 35 weeks due to a brain anomaly, 40-year-old Nadine slowly spirals into a grieving altered reality and chooses to go against all convention and deliver her dead baby at home on her own terms.
Main Conflict: Johnny is under the assumption that Nadine will deliver their dead baby at the hospital in 4 days but Nadine, knowing this is her last chance to ever have a baby due to age and after 3 miscarriages, has plans of her own: she wants to have her baby her way at home.
Old Ways:
Allows doctors to dictate what she should do
Afraid to speak up – follow rules
Didn’t know she could make herself have the baby at home
Timid and wants to stay hidden
Accepting that life happens to her and not taking any control
New Ways:
Confident to say NO and do it her way, its ok to lie
Takes control of her life and how she wants the birth to end
Wants to show herself and her baby
Doesn’t care what people think
Act 1:
INT. NADINE AND JOHNNY HOME – DAY
Opening: It is the morning of the termination though the audience doesn’t know this. Nadine and Johnny wake, they are late. Nadine wakes Johnny and makes sure the hospital bag is packed.
INT. NADINE AND JOHNNY BEDROOM – DAY
Nadine has been awake all night. Clock reads 6.30 am. She wakes Johnny.
INT. BATHROOM – DAY
Nadine showers. Johnny joins her in the shower.
EXT. HOME – DAY
Johnny gets car.
INT. NADINE AND JOHNNY HOME – DAY
Nadine looks quickly inside the baby’s room then leaves.
INT. NADINE AND JOHNNY HOME – DAY
Nadine opens the curtains in the living room to reveal a clean and cozy home. Flowers are on the table.
EXT. HOME – DAY
The car drives off then immediately returns as they forgot their hospital bag.
INT. HOSPITAL – DAY
Nadine and Johnny meet JAIME, the geneticist who then introduces them to the doctors who will perform the termination.
INT. HOSPITAL ROOM – DAY
Nadine looks at herself and her pregnant belly in the room’s mirror. She is unsure/regretful/ashamed???
INT. HOSPITAL ROOM – DAY
Inciting Incident: In the hospital room, Nadine and Johnny see their baby alive on the ultrasound. The doctors ask for the last time if this termination is something they both want to do. They both say yes.
INT. HOSPITAL ROOM – DAY
Doctors ask Johnny then Nadine if this is still what they both want. Johnny is for sure. Nadine hesitates a moment and then says yes.
INT. HOSPITAL ROOM – DAY
Doctors freeze Nadine belly. The insert a needle to put the baby to sleep. Nadine asks Johnny again if they are doing the right thing.
INT. HOSPITAL ROOM – DAY
Doctors insert a second needle to stop the baby’s heart.
Turning Point: The termination is complete. The baby is dead. Nadine’s doctor is set to deliver the baby in the hospital in 4 days. There is no going back.
EXT. HOSPITAL – DAY
Nadine and Johnny leave the hospital.
EXT. HOSPITAL – DAY
Johnny goes to get the car. Nadine waits. A pregnant woman approaches and they have a short chat. (here is where we first see Nadine have to lie about the pregnancy and she is not comfortable with it.)
INT. CAR – DAY
Silence. Both Johnny and Nadine are in shock. Dr. Bryant calls to make sure the couple is ok. After they hang up, Nadine questions the fact that they were sent out of hospital for an ultra sound. Nadine is upset but Johnny sides with doctor. Nadine is shut down.
INT. EXT. – FAST FOOD MALL OFF HIGHWAY – DAY
Nadine has to go pee. She enters the mall’s bathroom. Has an encounter with a curious little girl. Nadine has to lie about her baby inside of her.
INT/EXT. NADINE AND JOHNNY HOME – DAY
The couple arrive home and go inside. Nadine makes sure no one sees her arrive. Even waits for a neighbor to go inside. She is ashamed and doesn’t know how to deal with any questions.
INT. NADINE AND JOHNNY HOME – DAY
Johnny asks Nadine if he can do anything for her. Tries to reach out for her but she rebuffs him. He surfs the internet on his phone as a stress relief.
INT. BATHROOM – DAY
Nadine has to wash hospital off of her.
INT. NADINE AND JOHNNY HOME – NIGHT
The couple has dinner in silence. Johnny eats yet Nadine doesn’t. Johnny orders Chinese food.
INT. BEDROOM – NIGHT
Nadine and Johnny in bed. Nadine turns away from Johnny and cries but doesn’t let him see.
Act 2:
INT. NADINE AND JOHNNY HOME – DAY
Nadine sits in chair in living room and hides from the world. Johnny goes to work.
INT. NADINE AND JOHNNY HOME – NIGHT
Johnny comes home from work to find Nadine still in her chair. She hasn’t left.
INT. NADINE AND JOHNNY HOME – NIGHT
Johnny tries to talk to Nadine but she refuses. She turns over and goes to sleep. OR get up and takes sleep medicine.
INT. NADINE AND JOHNNY HOME. – DAY
Nadine wakes to hearing Johnny speak to their doctor. Johnny agrees with doctor. She comes down. Doctor urges Nadine to go for a walk. It will be good for the upcoming birth.
INT. HOME – DAY
Maybe need another scene with Nadine at home. Can’t go out. Peeks from behind curtains.
INT. NADINE AND JOHNNY HOME – BATHROOM
Nadine is getting dressed. She examines her body and the bruises on her tummy.
INT. NADINE AND JOHNNY HOME – DAY
Nadine shares with Johnny her fears of if she runs into someone she knows. What will she say. Does she look ok?
EXT. NADINE AND JOHNNY HOME – DAY
Nadine leaves the home hesitantly.
EXT. STREET – DAY
Nadine walks and begins to enjoy the sun on her face and her walk.
EXT. STREETS – DAY
Nadine stops. She sees her three pregnant friends all gathered and talking at the park. What to do? One of the moms surprises her and invites her to the parkette.
EXT. PARKETTE – DAY
Nadine is reacquainted with pregnant moms from the neighborhood. Nadine knows two of them already.
EXT. STREET BABY STORE – DAY
Nadine watches the baby store. She is tempted to go in but can’t. She walks home defeated.
INT. NADINE AND JOHNNY HOME – DAY
Nadine sits by window and watches all the moms and kids outside.
INT. NADINE AND JOHNNY HOME – BABY ROOM
Nadine is in the baby room. She opens some gifts secretly. Allowing herself to dream a little.
INT. BABY ROOM – DAY
Nadine’s sister calls to check in. They have a competitive relationship.
INT. NADINE AND JOHNNY HOME – NIGHT
Nadine makes a delicious dinner. Johnny is pleasantly surprised. Are they back to normal? A little?
INT. NADINE AND JOHNNY HOME – NIGHT
They try and have sex but no work.
INT. NADINE AND JOHNNY HOME – DAY
Nadine sits by window and watches all the moms and kids outside.
EXT. COFFEE SHOP – DAY
Nadine meets with moms again. Finds out one of them wants a home birth as well but hubby doesn’t (?).
INT. NADINE AND JOHNNY HOME – NIGHT
Nadine begins some research about home births. The seed has been planted.
INT. BABY ROOM – DAY
Nadine opens some more gifts and puts together the mobile.
INT. HOME – DAY
Johnny leaves for work. Nadine pretends all is better than it is in reality. Johnny is relieved.
EXT. NADINE AND JOHNNY HOME – PORCH
Nadine has tea with her midwife and pumps her for information about home births. Midwife cannot come to the birth.
EXT. PARK – DAY
Nadine meets with the pregnant moms again. Talk about birthing and home birth. Here she discovers Karen also wants a home birth.
EXT. BABY STORE – DAY
Nadine manages to enter store and buy something.
INT. BABY ROOM – DAY
Nadine puts that item in the room. She is marking her move to fulfill her dream.
INT. NADINE AND JOHNNY HOME – DAY
Nadine on phone with sister. Sister asks how she is doing.
INT. NADINE AND JOHNNY HOME – DAY
Nadine sits by window and watches all the moms and kids outside.
INT. NADINE AND JOHNNY HOME – DAY
Johnny sees Nadine setting up baby room – clothes all neatly folded and washed and color coded. He demands she be realistic. She says she will. She just wanted to see how it all would look. Johnny becomes concerned that Nadine is not telling the truth. He is a little worried.
EXT. COFFEE SHOP – DAY
Nadine meets with Karen and tells her she wants to have the baby at home. They discuss.
INT. NADINE AND JOHNNY HOME – DAY
Nadine sits by window and watches all the moms and kids outside.
Her point of view is becoming more distorted.
INT. NADINE AND JOHNNY HOME – DAY
Johnny catches Nadine breast feeding toy doll. They have an argument.
Tells Johnny she want to do it her way. He tells her it is not safe and he won’t allow it. Nadine tells Johnny she felt pressure to terminate.
INT. NADINE AND JOHNNY HOME – NIGHT
Nadine hears Johnny whispering on the phone. She confronts him. He was speaking to her sister behind her back. She wants to be treated as an adult and not a child.
EXT. STREETS – DAY
Nadine is walking. Everywhere she looks she sees pregnant ladies and babies. Her world view is slowly becoming distorted.
EXT. PARK – DAY
Nadine meets with Karen again. Talk more about home births and share information.
INT. NADINE AND JOHNNY HOME – DAY
Sister calls Nadine to check on her. Nadine chews her out for not being honest and upfront. She can take care of herself.
INT. NADINE AND JOHNNY HOME – DAY
Scene with Johnny and Nadine? Bring up sister and no trust issues. No one believes in her etc. It’s her last chance. Her views about being a mom/female revealed here.
INT. NADINE AND JOHNNY HOME -DAY
Nadine has left a document in the printer about home births or an order she has made. Johnny sees this. They argue. Johnny can’t sit there and let her kill herself, risk her life.
INT. NADINE AND JOHNNY HOME – DAY
Nadine sister arrives on porch to stay and baby sit Nadine. Nadine is livid.
Act 3:
INT. NADINE AND JOHNNY HOME – DAY/NIGHT
Nadine sitting at her lap top in her bedroom, Nadine researches home births and what she may need.
EXT. STORE – DAY
Nadine is buying new sheets and towels for the delivery.
EXT. OTHER STORE – DAY
Nadine buys more things she may need.
INT. NADINE AND JOHNNY HOME – NIGHT
All three have dinner. Uncomfortable. Little talking. Johnny and sister versus Nadine. They are worried about her but don’t know how to say it or support her. Nadine can’t trust them so stays quiet.
INT. NADINE AND JOHNNY HOME – DAY
Nadine and her sister are baking (?) and she discovers her sister has been lying to her. She is pregnant with twins. Sister already has one kid.
EXT. PARK – DAY
Nadine confides in Karen about sister and her sister’s plans to botch Nadine’s plans for a home birth. Karen agrees to help her.
INT. CAR WASH – DAY
Nadine tells Johnny she felt like he forced her to terminate the baby. (maybe not here) he disagrees and is hurt. He loves her and only wants the best but he never asked her what her idea od “best” is.
INT. NADINE AND JOHNNY HOME – DAY
Nadine receives a delivery of items she needs for the birth – midwife materials. Found by sister or Johnny and Nadine lies and says they are for the midwife; she forgot to cancel the order.
INT. NADINE AND JOHNNY HOME – DAY
Nadine and Johnny are on a Zoom call with the doctor. She tells them that an opening has come up with the appropriate nurses and the date to come into the hospital has changed to tomorrow at 6 PM. Nadine lies to Johnny and tells him she is all set.
INT. NADINE AND JOHNNY HOME – DAY
Panicked, Nadine tries to come up with a plan to get both J and sister out of house to have her baby before the 4 pm deadline.
INT. NADINE AND JOHNNY HOME – DAY
Nadine getting everything ready for her birth at home. She has to hide this from her sister and Johnny.
INT. RESTAURANT– NIGHT
At dinner, Johnny and Nadine are out at a fancy restaurant. Nadine finds out Johnny’s plans for the next day.
Act 4:
EXT. NADINE AND JOHNNY’S HOUSE – DAY
Johnny leaves for work promising to be home by 5 to go to hospital.
INT. NADINE AND JOHNNY HOME – DAY
Nadine and sister are playing a board game. Nadine makes an excuse to leave the house.
EXT. HOME – DAY
Nadine gets some last-minute things.
INT. NADINE AND JOHNNY HOME – DAY
Nadine needs to get sister out of home.
INT./EXT NADINE AND JOHNNY HOME – DAY
Need scene when sister realizes what Nadine is doing. She rushes home.
INT. NADINE’S BATHROOM – DAY
With time running out, Nadine using her materials, breaks her water and has her baby on the bathroom floor.
INT. NADINE’S BATHROOM – DAY
Nadine cleans up the bathroom and wraps her baby up in the receiving blanket she received as a shower gift.
INT. NADINE’S BEDROOM – DAY
Nadine dresses in her new maternity outfit. Looks at herself in the mirror. She is thrilled.
INT. NADINE AND JOHNNY’S HOME – DAY
Nadine sister arrives home earlier than planned. Nadine stuffs pillow in her shirt and hides baby. They leave house to see moms in park. (moms want to buy her stroller)
EXT. NADINE AND JOHNNY HOME – DAY
Nadine takes baby out of baby bag and puts baby in the stroller. The begin walking. (meet moms)
INT. NADINE AND JOHNNY’S HOME – BABY ROOM
Nadine is sitting on her nursing chair, nursing her baby when Johnny arrives home to pick her up to take her to the hospital.
.
-
An Unlikely CEO — Troy Thomas
In this assignment I’ve learnt how to flush out my antagonist and add depth to their storyline.
Troy Thomas leads
Baldwin Ice Cream company but is limited in his vision.He focuses on
loyalty rather than strategy.He
engages in sabotage after losing his job.It is believed that he hired hit
men to kill Jolyn.Shows that he has control over the employees even after
being fired.He writes letters telling
all potential business partners that Jolyn is incompetent and not suitable
for business.He apologizes after
being caught, but can he be trusted?He acknowledges he was
wrong in thinking that Jolyn as a woman was not capable of running the
business. -
<div>Dale’s Beat Sheet Draft 2
</div>What I learned doing this assignment
is that the antagonist as change agent is a continual catalyst for the changes in the protagonist.THEME:
For a person to be fully dimensional in oneself, and compassionate toward others, heart and mind need to find balance.
Antagonist Journey:
Richard Amado: Antagonist / Change Agent
1. 1<sup>st</sup> encounter with Elizabeth, he already challenges her well delineated world
2. Richard teaches his class in a sex, drugs and rock and roll way to best reach his students.
3. Elizabeth drags Richard on the carpet, he makes his case.
4. Richard defends his grades on a student paper, and subtly flirts with Elizabeth
5. Richard and Elizabeth share some of their life stories with each other. Intimacy grows.
6. Richard turns up at Elizabeth’s house, declares his feelings, kisses her.
7. Richard does not accept Elizabeth’s decision to have only a professional relationship.
8. Richard sends texts, emails
9. Richard stops her in the parking lot, trying to persuade her.
10. Richard comes to her home again, this time she gives in
11. Barbara tells Richard how much this is tearing Elizabeth apart.
12. Richard walks the university grounds, re-evaluating.
13. Richard goes to speak to the head of the philosophy department
14. Richard chooses to leave the university and apply elsewhere, but tells Elizabeth he still loves her.
Antagonist Journey: Beats in bold:
ACT 1:
Opening:
INT. ELIZABETH DREWER’S HOME – EVENING
Elizabeth in her home environment, establishing her style, music she listens to, full to bursting bookshelves, etc.
INT. PRENTISS UNIVERSITY – LECTURE HALL – DAY
Elizabeth at her lectern doing her first lecture for her “Intro do the Rationalists” philosophy class
EXT. PRENTISS UNIVERSITY – GROUNDS – DAY
Richard, the new TA, rushing to class, bumps into a female student who is struck by his good looks.
INT. PRENTISS UNIVERSITY – LECTURE HALL – DAY
He arrives late to Elizabeth lecture – slips in at the back. She notices he’s late.
Inciting Incident:
INT. PRENTISS UNIVERSITY – FACULTY LOUNGE – DAY
First encounter with Richard and his iconoclastic thinking – while with Barbara in faculty lounge
INT. ELIZABETH DREWER’S HOME – EVENING
Marshall, Elizabeth’s ex-husband, comes to her home, ostensibly looking for a chemistry book he may have left there. Issues of their marriage come up.
INT. ELIZABETH’S UNIVERSITY OFFICE – DAY
A female student asks Elizabeth advice about testifying against a professor for sexual misconduct.
INT. PRENTISS UNIVERSITY – LECTURE HALL – DAY
Elizabeth’s lecture contrasted with…
INT. PRENTISS UNIVERSITY – RICHARD’S CLASSROOM – DAY
Richard’s discussions group. We see difference between Elizabeth and Richard’s teaching style. Also see female students drooling over Richard.
INT. RESTAURANT – EVENING
Elizabeth sees her colleague, Philip, holding hands with one of his former students who is still a student at the university.
Turning Point:
INT. ELIZABETH’S UNIVERSITY OFFICE – DAY
Elizabeth drags Richard on carpet for his teaching style. First glimmers of an attraction between them.
ACT 2
The plan:
INT. PRIVATE HOME – NIGHT
Elizabeth (at faculty party) tries to convince Philip to discontinue his relationship with his former student. Philip complains that the rules have gotten ridiculous and draconian. She argues in favor of them.
The Plan in action:
INT. ELIZABETH’S UNIVERSITY OFFICE – DAY
Elizabeth, in denial about any budding feelings, has a meeting with Richard about student Annabelle Crioli and his grade on on her paper. What starts as an academic and philosophical discussion morphs into a subtle flirtation on Richard’s part.
INT. PRENTISS UNIVERSITY – FACULTY LOUNGE – DAY
Philip asks how Elizabeth is dealing with their new renegade graduate student. She assures him she’s handling him. He has his doubts.
INT. PRENTISS UNIVERSITY – RICHARD’S OFFICE – DAY
Richard is meeting a female student during office hours. Although she pretends to be there to talk about the class, she is really enamored of Richard and starts to ask him personal questions like if he has a girlfriend, and what does he look for in a woman. Richard shuts this conversation down quickly and shows her out.
Midpoint Turning Point
INT. COFFEE HOUSE – DAY
Richard and Elizabeth find themselves at the same coffee shop off campus, they have a more intimate conversation about their pasts. Elizabeth is becoming more consciously aware of her attraction, though she denies it to her friend, Barbara.
INT. ELIZABETH’S HOME OFFICE – EVENING
Richard turns up, soon after, at Elizabeth’s home, ostensibly to review final student grades, but really to declare his feelings to Elizabeth. He kisses her. Despite herself, she kisses him back. Shocked at her own behavior, she kicks him out!
ACT 3:
Rethink everything:
INT. VARIOUS LOCATIONS AT UNIVERSITY – DAY
Elizabeth tries to avoid Richard at work. Rushes off when he enters the faculty lounge. Walks out of her lecture in conversation with a student, so he cannot engage her.
INT. FACULTY LOUNGE – DAY
Staring out the window of the faculty lounge, she sees Richard talking to a student. She is absorbed with how he smiles, how he moves, the bend of his neck, the brush of his hand across his hair.
INT. ELIZABETH DREWER’S HOME – BEDROOM – NIGHT
Elizabeth has a sex dream about Richard. She wakes up, with the contradictory feelings of longing and self hatred.
New plan:
INT. HALLWAY & ELIZABETH’S UNIVERSITY OFFICE – DAY
Richard waiting as Elizabeth arrives for her office hours. She lets him in, and explains that the kiss was a mistake, but they can still turn back. But they must deal only on a professional level, avoiding personal contact. She is adamant. But Richard doesn’t agree.
INT. FACULTY LOUNGE – DAY
She and Philip discuss Richard and how his renegade style must be driving her crazy. When she denies that, he is surprised.
INT. ELIZABETH DREWER’S HOME – EVENING
Marshall turns up at her house to get a baby gift from her for his current wife. She asks him what really went wrong with their marriage? He can tell something is wrong and she admits she is attracted to someone she shouldn’t be.
VARIOUS LOCATIONS – DAY / NIGHT
Emails, texts and phone calls come from Richard
Turning Point:
INT. ELIZABETH DREWER’S HOME – EVENING
Richard turns up at her home. She lets him in, only because he won’t stop knocking (and waking up the neighbors). She gives him all the reasons why this relationship is not okay. But in the end… when he doesn’t accept this and kisses her again, she gives him.
INT. ELIZABETH DREWER’S HOME – BEDROOM – EARLY MORNING
Elizabeth wakes up in a blissful state. But that state quickly evaporates as she looks at Richard asleep next to her. What has she done? She dresses quickly and heads out of the house for work.
All is Lost:
INT. ELIZABETH DREWER’S HOME – EVENING
Barbara finds Elizabeth at home, having stayed away from university for a week pretending she is sick. She confesses the affair to Barbara and says she is ashamed at her behavior and yet cannot stop thinking about Richard. She knows she should be reporting this, but if she does, what will happen?
EXT. UNIVERSITY PARKING LOT – DAY
Richard sees Elizabeth heading to her car. He rushes after her and asks why she is avoiding him. She is distraught and says she can’t do this, this is impossible! In another corner of the parking lot, the student who has a crush on Richard sees the two of them having a heated discussion. Will she put the pieces together?
INT. ELIZABETH DREWER’S HOME – EVENING
She is staying at home pretending she is sick. Texts from Richard now turn into urgent voice mails. (“Are you really sick?” “let me come take care of you, then,” etc.)
INT. FACULTY LOUNGE – DAY
Meanwhile, back at the university, Philip questions Richard as to when Elizabeth might be coming back. In their conversation, he figures out what has been going on.
INT. PRENTISS UNIVERSITY – RICHARD’S OFFICE – DAY
Barbara goes to Richard and tells him he has to cut off all contact with Elizabeth, stop calling, texting, etc. He needs to leave her alone. It’s tearing her apart. Richard reveals that Philip knows, so things are even worse!
INT. ELIZABETH DREWER’S HOME – DAY
We see Elizabeth in her home, looking lost. She looks at the texts from Richard, almost responds, then throws the phone against the wall.
EXT. PRENTISS UNIVERSITY – GROUNDS
Richard walks through campus, deep in thought.
INT. PRENTISS UNIVERSITY – RICHARD’S CLASSROOM – DAY
We see him in his classroom, not hearing what a student is saying, but just nodding.
INT. ELIZABETH DREWER’S HOME – EVENING
We see Elizabeth turn on her phone. There are no texts from Richard. She is surprised. He turns on her computer and looks at her emails. No emails from him either.
INT. PRENTISS UNIVERSITY – DR. OFFICE – DAY
We see Richard in a meeting with the head of the philosophy department. We do not hear what they are saying.
ACT 4:
Climax: The Test.
INT. RICHARD’S OFFICE – DAY
Elizabeth turns up at Richard’s office. She is shocked to see him packing. He explains that he is taking a leave of absence and will apply to other institutions after. She says he doesn’t have to, as she has decided to continue to see him, and keep it a secret. She loves him. But he says he has to, more than ever, for her sake as well as his.
Resolution:
UNIVERSITY FACULTY LOUNGE – DAY
We see Elizabeth back at the university where she encounters Philip. Despite her fear, he hadn’t turned her in. He’s just glad to have the company. She realizes she had too readily judged him. He is forgiving.
INT. PRENTISS UNIVERSITY – LECTURE HALL – DA
We see Elizabeth doing one more lecture before spring break (where she has decided to join Richard during the break.) In the lecture, we see a reflection of how this experience has changed her views on philosophy and on life.
-
DeRuve’s Beat Sheet Draft 2
What I learned doing this assignment is a better understanding of my theme, and how it is expressed through the characters and action. This is a great assignment, and a tough one. I really had to grind on my theme, and will have to continue to shape it as I discover more about this journey. I definitely was able to add some meat to the bones I had before. I was able to identify some of my place holders. Overall, I feel like I am starting to see the vision of the script filling out.
Antagonist’s Journey:
Joey pretends to be Rhino’s best friend while using him for personal gain, without Rhino knowing.
Joey asserts his power, and questions its effectiveness to Rhino in private.
Joey begins to reveal his true feelings towards Rhino when things aren’t going his way. Becoming more overtly conflicted with who he wants to be vs. who he is.
Joey answers to his father and really has little power or know how.
Joey commits murder in place of Rhino who can’t pull the trigger.
Joey threatens Rhino’s life if the job isn’t done.
Joey vs. Rhino showdown. Crucible.
Title: Rhino
Beat Sheet –
ACT I
1985, Troy, New York
INT./EXT. RHINO’S JALOPY/TROY SUBURBS – NIGHT
SEVERINO PERISI, 34, aka RHINO, drives his jalopy through a middle class neighborhood looking for an address he has scribbled on paper.
EXT. SUBURBAN HOUSE – NIGHT
Rhino walks around the side of the dark house looking in the windows, around back, he sees a man on the patio smoking a cigar. Rhino quietly emerges from the shadows, the man is terrified trying to run but tripping over his cheap lawn furniture. Rhino gets a hold of him, he’s there to collect a debt the man can’t pay. Rhino roughs him up real good, throwing him through the glass sliding door into the living room. Rhino throws a few right hooks knocking the man limp. Rhino straightens himself up when a little girl emerges, crying in fear. Rhino is shook by her presence.
EXT./INT. EMPIRE STATE PLAZA CONVENTION CENTER – ALBANY – NIGHT
Rhinos speeds into the crowded parking lot, parks right in front of the door and rushes inside. He’s late for his fight.
In the locker room, JOEY, 34, the Capo, complains about his tardiness and asks if he knows the plan. He has to explain it again, Rhino is to carry the fight to the third round and win by knockout.
INT. BOXING RING – CONTINUOUS
Rhino perries with his opponent who is trying his best, but no match for Rhino. The crowd is growing restless by Rhino’s approach and the lack of action on his side. In the third round Rhino comes out swinging, winning by knockout.
INT. LOCKER ROOM – NIGHT
Rhino collects on his payday and gets a visit from the Godfather, Joey’s father. A true honor.
INT. RHINO’S APARTMENT – NIGHT
Rhino lives in a really crappy one bedroom, small and messy. He comes home to his dog Cannoli tied up in the backyard. He turns on the small tube TV to watch the news. He drinks beer and cuddles his dog, his best friend, and sees the highlights from his fight.
INT. GYMNASIUM – DAY
Rhino stands beside a man filling out forms. Rhino looks a little lost and out of place. A man behind the desk commends Rhino on his fifth year sponsoring a little league team. He counts off $800 cash, and shakes with the coaches on his way out.
EXT./INT. PERISI FAMILY HOME – DAY
Rhino walks from his apartment, down a few houses in this packed two family home neighborhood with Cannoli. Obviously a lower income neighborhood. He waves to the passer bys, all Italians, until arriving at his parents house. He ties Cannoli up in the backyard. The tiny house is packed to the gill with a loud mouthed Italian family. Everyone treats Rhino like the baby, and we get to see a beautiful family dynamic.
Rhino gives his Father the rent money, but his Father doesn’t have much to say to him.
His brother pulls him aside and asks for a job with Joey, but Rhino plays dumb and acts like he’s not involved in the mob at all.
INT. LAUNDROMAT – NIGHT
Rhino does his wash, Cannoli sitting under his chair, BILLIE BELLE, 28, and her two sons are there also doing wash. The boys throw a baseball which skips over in Rhino’s direction. Again we see him charming and kind to the boys, and Billie decides to talk to him for the first time. They have an adorable conversation that ends with intrigue.
EXT. PORT OF ALBANY – DAY
Rhino walks the docks as the longshoremen retire for the night. His target catches a glimpse of him and tries to evade. Rhino tracks him down, but lets him off with a warning.
INT. RHINO’S APARTMENT – NIGHT
Rhino sits awake in his dark and dingy living room, the clock strikes 5am. He gets dressed and leaves.
EXT. SOUTH TROY – DAWN
Rhino runs through the streets throwing random jabs and hooks, Cannoli running beside him.
INT. PARISI FAMILY HOUSE – DAY
Rhino sits around a long table in a full living room for Sunday dinner with his family. They recite a catholic prayer before the food is passed around.
ACT II
EXT./INT. PARISI FAMILY HOUSE/JOEY’S CAR – EVENING
Joey is waiting in his car outside the house, picks up Rhino when he leaves. He reveals that he knows Rhino let his last target off with a warning and explains how detrimental to the business that is. He also explains an upcoming fight for Thursday with a 19 year old kid, he’s filling in for an injured fighter. They’re confident because the kid only has two professional fights. The fix is in for a second round knockout, Rhino agrees.
INT. LAUNDROMAT – NIGHT
Rhino does his laundry and Billie arrives with the kids. She has a way of seeing through Rhino into who he really is. She says some things that touch a nerve. Rhino is on his way to his fight, doing his own laundry. He tells them he’ll put their names in at the box office for tickets if they want. The boys want to go.
INT. EMPIRE STATE PLAZA CONVENTION CENTER – NIGHT
Rhino pounds his taped fists together prepping to pull his gloves on. Joey arrives and questions him about the tickets he gave away, revealing he knows everything. Joey discourages him from forming a relationship with the girl, also revealing he knows she is black. Frowning upon him for going outside the Italian race.
Rhino enters the ring and spots Billie and the boys in the crowd, not far from Joey and some goons. The fighters are announced and Rhino gets a big cheer as a hometown hero. The other fighter is announced, it’s Mike Tyson in his third professional fight. Rhino is knocked out in the first round. Embarrassed in front of Billie, and in for it with Joey and the mob.
INT. LOCKER ROOM – NIGHT
Joey questions if Rhino has lost his ability. His work is suffering, his fighting is suffering. He questions more about the girl. Pushes Rhino around and tells him he better straighten up or he’ll have to answer to the Godfather. But at the same time, gives him his pay from the fight, with some extra to “take care of him”.
INT. RHINO’S CAR – NIGHT
Rhino drinks a beer behind the wheel when a cop pulls him over. The cop gets him out of the car and gets rough. To Rhino’s surprise, the Cop is mad about him losing the fight and the money lost on the bet. Tells him to watch his back.
EXT. BASEBALL FIELD – DAY
Rhino sits in a cheap lawn chair with Cannoli watching the little league game. Billie spots him and approaches, her son’s are on the other team. Billie gets Rhino to reveal his world view, it’s a violent and bleak outlook. But she doesn’t buy it. She sees something special in him.
INT. JOEYS CAR – DAY
Joey picks up Rhino to discuss his next target. He explains the severity of the situation and breaks the news that Rhino needs to kill this guy.
INT. HOUSE – NIGHT
The target is in his home going about his business when he finds Rhino sitting in the dark. “Do you know who I am?” The target is terrified but not running like the last guy. Rhino informs him that he is supposed to kill him, but gives him an out. Tells him to pack up his family and disappear forever. Go somewhere and start new.
EXT. SOUTH TROY – DAWN
Rhino runs with Cannoli by his side.
INT. BASEMENT CASINO – NIGHT
Joey is asserting his power amongst the crowd. Shouting and throwing a tantrum. Rhino stands by watching. Afterwards, Joey inquires if Rhino thinks he was effective. “You think they’re scared of me?”
ACT III
EXT. JERSEY CITY CONVENTION CENTER – NIGHT
Rhino makes way for the convention center when he sees his former target who he let “disappear”. Rhino approaches him and is pissed that he told him to disappear and he turns up in Jersey.
INT. JERSEY CITY CONVENTION CENTER – NIGHT
Two rounds into the fight, Joey approaches Rhino in the corner. He tells him things have changed, he has to dive in the next round to make good on the bet. Leaving Rhino disappointed as he’s been dominating the fight.
INT./EXT. JOEY’S CAR/87 NORTH – HUDSON – NIGHT
The car gets off the exit and Rhino wonders what they’re doing. The target Rhino let off the hook is there on his knees by the river. Joey shows his darkside to Rhino, pleading with him to kill the guy. He won’t do it. Joey promises to tell his Father that he did, then Joey shoots him.
EXT. SOUTH TROY – DAY
Rhino walks with Cannoli down the block towards the baseball field. Billie meets him there and Rhino isn’t himself. For the first time shows some vulnerability, and opens up about his inner conflicts. His actual world views. Billie encourages him to start living from that truth, Rhino wishes it were that easy.
EXT. DOWNTOWN ALBANY – NIGHT
Rhino jogs through the city waving jabs and hooks with Cannoli nearby. Joey’s car pulls up. They get in the car. Joey has an opportunity for Rhino, he brags it’s his biggest fight yet, and an apology for what happened. A shot at the cruiserweight championship. Rhino has to lose thirteen pounds, but he can do it. The bad news is, he can’t win the fight. He’s the favorite in this old rematch, the payoff for the dive will be huge. Gives him training money.
INT. RHINO’S APARTMENT – MORNING
Rhino peddles a stationary bike wrapped in saran wrap. He looks over the photographs on the wall, and paper clippings. He drinks a can of beef broth. This is a nostalgic, inner conflict type of scene.
The phone rings, Billie invites him for dinner.
INT. BELLE HOME – NIGHT
At the end of the night Rhino and Billie are alone. They kiss, but she pushes him away. She tells him they can’t pursue a relationship, he admits that’s the direction it seemed like they were going. She is so true to herself, she won’t allow herself to love a man that is so broken.
INT. PARISI FAMILY HOUSE – DAY
Rhino at his family house to pay rent, won’t be around this weekend. Excited to fight in the Garden. Has the first conversation with his Father, who reveals he knows who he really is. His Father inspires him to follow his heart, and change the parts of his life he’s not happy with. If he loves Billie, he needs to be the kind of man she deserves.
INT. PAONE HOUSE – NIGHT
Rhino meets with the Godfather to discuss his new target, Billie’s brother, who happens to be a corrupted cop in debt to his ears. Godfather acknowledges the fight coming up, telling him to lay off the pasta.
INT. JOEY’S CAR – NIGHT
Rhino is caught off guard when he realizes this isn’t a normal car ride. Joey presents Rhino with the ultimatum, kill Billie’s brother, or be killed himself. Joey acts as though he is his friend and is trying to help. Rhino expresses an intelligence he hasn’t, revealing he knows that he’s been used. He has a deeper perspective than Joey thought.
INT. MADISON SQUARE GARDEN – NIGHT
Rhino is given the plan for the night, fight hard out of the gate, and take a dive in the third on the first clean punch. During the fight Rhino has a change of heart when he realizes this opponent is nothing compared to him. He makes the choice to win the fight, but flees the scene when it’s over.
ACT IV
INT. RHINO’S APARTMENT – NIGHT
Rhino comes home to find Cannoli has been killed. For the first time we see Rhino break, he’s lost his best friend.
EXT. BILLIE’S APARTMENT – NIGHT
Rhino tries to help Billie, whose brother has informed her of who Rhino really is. Rhino is trying to warn them that they are in danger.
EXT. POT OF ALBANY – NIGHT
Rhino has been tailing Joey, final showdown. Failed attempt to kill Rhino, who gains the upper hand, but chooses not to kill him.
INT. PARISI FAMILY HOME – DAY
Rhino sits more quiet than usual, his last supper. He has a private moment with his father, he tries to give him the last of his money while telling him he’s going away, probably for good. His Father is sad, but proud for the first time in his life.
INT. RHINO’S CAR – EVENING
Rhino leaves the capital district, assuming he went to find Billie.
-
Lesson 8: Theme and Antagonist’ Journey
What I learned in this assignment is this step is difficult. Four people have transformational journeys. I have two heroes and two antagonists. I was often confused so I color coded the characters to help me. I struggle because I have too many scenes now. I learned not to quit, to keep going.
Theme: Learning to love after betrayal
ACT 1
Scene: EXT CHERRY LAKE, FLORIDA DAY (Wednesday)
On Cherry Lake in Madison County, Florida. Travis is preparing for his 5:00PM daily ride
around the lake with JJ and Sydnee, new friends. He turns on the music to Jake Jones and is setting up the snack food and beverages. He looks and see JJ and Sydnee walking toward the dock. JJ and Sydnee learn Travis is not looking forward to his trip tomorrow to Vermont for the Christmas holidays. His meddling mom calls to make sure he is getting on the train. Travis
tells JJ the plans for the renovation of the porch at Travis’ house.
Scene: INT BRADFORD LOUNGE DAY
Jake is setting up, practicing, getting ready for concert Friday night. Tries to connect with Sam, Liz’s business buddy and close friend.
TE: Beginning: Tries to get Liz’ phone number, fakes sincerity. gets Sam’s number.
Scene: INT TRAIN STATION JACKSONVILLE, FLORIDA DAY (Thursday)
Liz is rushing through the terminal to get to the train. Jake Jones’ Christmas song
begins over the sound system. Liz crashes into Christmas Elf, drops all her packages, etc.
Meddling Mom (Annabelle) calls Liz to discuss business and hints that there is a problem at the inn,
tells Liz Jake is the new entertainment at Bradford Inn.
TE: Liz remembers the rejection of Jake and confirms she will never trust a man again.
,Scene INT ON THE TRAIN, DAY
Liz (rejected by Jake Jones) meets Travis (a long time Jake Jones fan and hates women who lie) Liz tells a lie about her name ( a safety habit she practices when she is traveling) and she discovers Travis is going to the Bradford Inn for a family Christmas vacation. He was married there five years ago. He doesn’t remember it fondly. She doesn’t tell him she is part-owner of the hotel because it does not occur to her. Travis gets call from meddling Mom during the meal.
to make sure he is on the way and didn’t back out.
TE: Liz does not tell her history with Jake Jones to Travis and she doesn’t tell Travis her real name
when she has the opportunity. Travis remembers he can’t trust women.
SCENE 4: INT LIZ’s CAR DAY (Friday)
When they arrive in Vermont, Liz gives Travis a ride to the inn, mainly because she wants to see his reaction to the upgrades. Travis learns about the history of Wellington. He thinks Liz is on vacation, too.
TE: Liz remembers the last time she was with Jake Jones. Travis, thinking she is a guest, asks if he can take Liz to lunch or something during the holidays. Liz says yes.
Scene: phone call between Jake and Sam
Jake is trying to connect with Liz, asks if she is on duty today. Sam has not seen her for several days because of business trip to Florida.
Scene 4: INT BRADFORD INN LOBBY DAY
Travis loves the inn. Forgets to get Liz’ last name and her phone number, He is looking for a woman named “Sarah”. Travis discovers the reason for the holiday trip to Vermont. Becca, his divorced wife, is in the lobby waiting to greet him. Mom and Marty are playing matchmaker. When Travis tells Becca to go home, he thinks about the emerald eyes he met on the train. Travis leaves a note for Sarah. He doesn’t know her last name. . Meddling Jill and Marty attempt to convince Travis to let Becca stay with him because the hotel has no rooms left. Travis does not fall for the trap.
TE: (Beginning) Becca has tricked Marty and Jill into thinking Travis and Becca are getting back together.
Scene: INT BRADFORD INN RESTAURANT DAY
Annabelle meets with Liz, notices Liz is all smiles, misinterprets those smiles and thinks Liz has seen
the marquee sign at the lounge announcing Jake Jones is the coming attraction for the holiday season.
Liz gets upset with Annabelle for hiring Jake Jones, but does not confront her. Communicates about
the new contracts.
Scene: INT. BRD INN LOUNGE DAY
Liz meets with Sam, her confident’ and arranges for tickets for Travis and family for tonight’s concert.
They set up a plan to avoid Jake.
Scene: BRD INN LOBBY DAY
Liz leaves message about tickets for the Jake Jones concert tonight for Travis with a note signed
“Sarah” for the bellhop to deliver. Bellhop gets the idea “Sarah” is staying without paying, begins his
personal investigation. Bellhop delivers message to Travis. Jake passes through lobby on the way to
lounge.
Scene: BRD INN DAY
split phone call: Jake calls Sam, looking for Liz. Sam tells Jake, Liz said to deal with her mother. She is not available.
ACT 2
Scene: INT LOBBY DAY
Jill, Marty and Becca meet to strategize about next steps. Set up plan for tonight.
TE: Becca listens and lets them run the meeting, thinking she can blame them if they fail.
Scene: INT BRD INN RESTAURANT NIGHT
Dinner in hotel, guests learn about the holiday scavenger hunt for $2500. Becca needs the money. Travis ‘s Dad and Marty’s husband have arrived. Becca doesn’t show up for dinner. After hearing the news about the money, she starts scouting the hotel for best hiding places.
TE: Becca shows her true colors, only interested in money not Travis, but meddling mom does not it.
Scene: INT. LOUNGE NIGHT
Travis and family sit at center front for the concert. Liz is running late. When she arrives, she is walking toward Travis table, when Beautiful Becca enters in a flaming red dress. Since she wasn’t at dinner, Travis is in shock when Becca sits in the empty chair he thought would be for “Sarah”. Jake comes on stage and invites his Lizzy to the stage at the end of the concert to sing with him. Liz is forced to sing.
Travis leaves the room as soon as the concert is over. Jakes attempts to woo Liz doesn’t work. She whispers in his ear, she will not be present for any more of his concerts. As she is leaving the stage, she remembers Jake called her Lizzy. Liz can’t find Travis in the lounge to explain. Becca approaches Jake after the concert, invites him for a drink, thinking Travis is mad at her for not leaving.
TE: Liz’ lie is exposed and Travis gives up.
TE: Jake meets Becca and gives her attention as a back up plan in case he doesn’t win over Liz this
week.
TR: Jake takes control and forces Liz to sing with him. Thinks he has won.
TR: Becca makes a play for Jake Jones as a back-up plan
TE: Travis falters in his attempt to begin a relationship
Scene: INT BRD INN LOUNGE NIGHT
Sam and Liz talk. Sam does not know about Travis/Liz story. She is disgusted, leaves to go to her apartment which is on the grounds. Travis returns to try to get a room where he can stay to get away from his ex. Sam calls Annabelle and gets permission for Travis to stay in Liz’ brother’s apartment. The brother is on sabbatical in France. He is the chef for the hotel. Travis walks to Becca who is entertaining Jake and tells her she can stay in his room for the holidays. He gives her a set of keys.
Scene: INT TRAVIS’ OLD HOTEL ROOM. NIGHT
Becca enters quietly thinking Travis is asleep. She takes a bath and climbs in bed and realizes Travis is
not in the room. She wonders where he is. She decides to wait up for him and stays awake most of the
night.
TE: Becca. This is a set back. She thought she won Travis back. She thinks about getting closer to Jake as a backup in case Travis doesn’t change his mind.
Act 3
Scene: INT BRADFORD INN CAFÉ DAY (Saturday)
Travis goes to breakfast runs into Liz. Liz confesses about her name. Travis understands and forgives. Liz spends the day shopping. Bellhop continues the search for “Sarah”. Jill and Mary come down for continental breakfast and see Becca. Jill and ask here where she spent the night. She says in Travis’ room. Jill and Marty go wedding shopping but say if their plan does not work, Dad may kill somebody and the bellhop overhears the comment.
Scene: INT BRD INN OFFICE DAY
Split phone call: Jake and Annabelle, trying to reach Liz.
Scene INT BRADFORD INN LOBBY
The scavenger hunt begins. Becca participates, does not win the first ornament. shows poor sportsmanship. Participates in second try. Does not win. The last phase begins.
Scene: INT BRADFORD INN CAFÉ DAY
Travis ‘s Dad and Brother-in-law meet Travis in the café for lunch. Travis remembers the hayride, tries to call Liz to invite her. She left her phone in her apartment. When she finally answers, he acts like a schoolboy. Invites her to the hayride. Dad and Brother-in-law see a change in Travis. Travis decides to buy a gift and leaves running into his mom and sister at the door. Dad tells Jill the difference in Travis which further confirms their plan is working. The scavenger hunt ends and Becca passes by looking like a wreck. Dad says love is blind. Jake calls Becca and invites her to the hayride.
Scene: EXT OUTSIDE IN SNOW NEAR HOTEL PORCH NIGHT
Becca falls in the snow when a child who won the money in the scavenger hunt runs into her. She misses the hayride.
Midpoint Turning Point: Jake shows up for the hayride, decides to sing when he sees Liz get on. Travis kisses Liz on the hayride.
ACT 3
Scene. INT BRADFORD INN LOBBY
Jill and Marty re-consider but misinterpret the truth based upon what Travis and Jake are doing. Travis announces he is making a big decision and goes to purchase a present. Parents think he is asking Becca to marry him again, but he plans to ask Liz to date him. Becca goes to the spa without her phone. Jake calls Becca when she returns to her room and invites himself for lunch.
Scene: INT. SEURITY OFFICE IN HOTEL DAY
House security begins the search for the missing Sarah who is staying at the inn without paying. Bellhop
tells about pending murder. Becca goes on a date with Jake in the horse and buggy. Travis goes with Liz
to greet Santa and have their picture taken
Scene: INT. HOTEL LOBBY DAY (Monday)
Travis and Liz meet for breakfast in the restaurant. Travis meets with Liz and confesses he wants to start a relationship with her. He will travel with her if she wants. Warns her about her meddling mother. Gives her a locket.
TE: Both Liz and Travis are beginning to trust.
Scene: INT BRADFORD INN LOBBY DAY
Travis runs into Jill and Marty and says he popped the question and she accepted. Jill and Marty go to Annabelle and arrange for the wedding tomorrow. Liz is working with a Christmas activity in the restaurant all morning.
Scene: INT. HOTEL ADMINISTRATION MEETING. DAY
Annabelle informs the leadership team the police set up plan to catch a killer and “Sarah”. She tells them about the recently reserved small wedding planned for the chapel. Jill sets up the family for the wedding saying they are gathering for a family portrait in the chapel.
Scene: INT THE WEDDING CHAPEL DAY (Tuesday)
Becca gets a massage and Jill can’t find her to tell her Travis and she are getting married. Becca returns and puts on tacky dress. Can’t believe Travis has fallen for her. Jill has selected a tacky dress with flowers for her wedding. Becca doesn’t understand but believes it. Travis calls Liz and invites her to family lunch at 11:45, plans to introduce her
Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift Travis and family enter the chapel. Everyone is there but Liz. Jake is singing. Jake hits Travis and knocks him down. Mom of Travis faints, police rush in with guns drawn causing a major disruption. Becca screams when she sees the gun. The preacher tries to leave. Annabelle takes a candelabra and heads toward Travis. Police yells for commotion to cease and ask “Which one of you is Sarah? We stopped a murder here today!” Investigation solves everything. Annabelle and Jill and Marty leave the chapel in shock. Annabelle tells Travis Liz is her daughter. Jake kisses Liz so that Travis can witness it.
TE: Jake believes Travis is two-timing Liz, but can’t get her phone number to tell her. Then, he kisses Liz in front of Travis, trying to trick Travis.
TE: Liz and Travis must move on without each other. Can’t trust.
Scene: INT OUTSIDE OF WEDDING CHAPEL DAY
Climax
Liz tells Jake Jones it is over and goes to find Travis. Travis packs and calls train station for a
ticket. Becca calls her mother for money to buy a plane ticket home. Annabelle goes to bed with
major headache. Jill and Marty go to the bar for a cocktail.
TE: Liz takes stand against Jake. Jake loses finally. Travis says never again.
TE: Meddling Moms get reality check
Scene: INT. HOTEL CAFÉ DAY (Wednesday)
Annabelle calls Liz and invites her to breakfast. Jill, Marty and husbands, are gathered. They tell
the truth about their meddling. Liz calls airlines and buys a plane ticket to Jacksonville
ACT 4
Scene INT AIRPLANE DAY
TE Resolution Liz flies (fear of flying but she goes the quickest way to Travis) to Jacksonville Fl
Scene: EXT TRAVIS’ HOME ON CHERRY LAKE
Liz pulls up to Travis cabin, finds Travis near the boat and introduces herself, leaving out nothing. They get on the boat at 5:00 PM as Travis and Liz drive around the lake. While on the barge, Annaelle calls Liz and Jill calls Travis. They start their meddling to help them plan the wedding. The mothers are still talking as Travis and Liz lay their phones down. Travis kisses Liz.
TE: Liz and Travis will work toward a winning relationship, forgetting Becca and Jake forever.
TE: Jake and Becca learned nothing and continue to lose
-
Assignment 8
Aleta Rafton’s Beat Sheet Draft 2
What I learned from this assignment is that defining what the story is really about and developing the antagonist journey adds depth to the story making it more believable.
Story is really about fear of change. Loss of old rigid rules for living symbolized by loss of stepson’s ornament as connection to his dad also can lead to personal gain. Stepdad has to let go of rigid rules and old self image to become the man he imagines himself to be and the boy has to let go that of the idea that only his dad was worthy and that he could actually like and respect someone very different from his dad
Antagonist Journey: Stepson/Boy in the Beat Sheet
Ridcules/imitates stepdad wrapping ornaments in front of mom
Tries to undermine Stepdad’s relationship with mom by breaking ornament Stepdad carefully wrapped
Yelling at Stepdad while he’s driving causing him to make the wrong turn and lose the garbage truck
Screams ‘I knew you couldn’t do it. You’re such a wimp!’ when Stepdad fails to grab ornament off tree in back of garbage truck
Secretly removes battery from Stepdad’s tracker so it won’t turn on
Taunts Stepdad that he’s too afraid of lion
Blames Stepdad as inept and intentional that he didn’t grab ornament before owl takes it
Dares Stepdad to go on ledge on top of One Times Square
ACT 1
Interior Living room with Christmas Tree, TV on
Opening: Closeup Stepdad slowly, carefully taking ornaments off Christmas tree and bubble wrapping them.
Stepdad and Mom are dressed as Indiana Jones with a whip and his female sidekick for a New Year’s Eve Party they are going to shortly.
Boy ridcules/imitates Stepdad wrapping ornaments in front of mom. Boy is muttering within earshot what a jerk the Stepdad is and complains they will never finish taking ornaments off the tree.
Tries to undermine Stepdad’s relationship with mom by deliberately breaking ornament Stepdad carefully wrapped to show his way is stupid.
Transformational Event 1: News story comes on TV about how lion escapes zoo distracting everyone from the job of taking the ornaments down. They all pause to watch for a few minutes. Stepdad takes the rest of the ornaments down and takes tree out for garbage pickup.
Mom gets call from News studio where she is a producer to cover the story. Still in costume she takes off for work but promises to be back in time for the party.
A perfectionist thinking it will prevent any problems, Stepdad is carefully and methodically wrapping ornaments as he takes them off the tree. He gets distracted by TV news leaving his stepson’s favorite ornament on tree as he puts it out for garbage truck.
Inciting Incident: Stepson realizes favorite ornament was still on tree as he runs out front to see the garbage truck driving off with tree and ornament hanging off back.
Stepson screams at Stepdad furious and insulting him as a man. Runs out of house chasing garbage truck
ACT 2
Stepdad and stepson in car chasing garbage truck on NYC street, Dusk
Opening: Stepdad jumps in the car speeding to catch the garbage truck, running red lights, turning without signaling; all things unthinkable just hours earlier
Transformational Event 2: He reaches out to grab ornament in moving vehicle and misses. Screams ‘I knew you couldn’t do it. You’re such a wimp!’ when Stepdad fails to grab ornament off tree in back of garbage truck.
Inciting Incident: Yelling at Stepdad while he’s driving causing him to make the wrong turn and lose the garbage truck. Dozens of garbage trucks going every direction. Lose sight of tree. All hope lost.
Inciting incident: Boy has removed batteries from tracker trying to mess with Stepdad.
Transformational Event 3: Stepdad has backup batteries in pocket and turns on tracker relying on unproven device hoping to solve the problem
ACT 3
Opening: Interior car, night has fallen
Stepdad and boy in car following tree with tracker to dump. Boy is furious and can’t even look at his Stepdad. Feels hopeless and lashes out at Stepdad.
Arrive at dump, night
Get out of car wandering among piles of trees and garbage.
Use tracker to locate tree amongst lots of trees
Inciting incident: Find tree at dump. Boy taunts Stepdad that he’s too afraid of lion causing instant panic in Stepdad.
Locate tree, run toward it then see lion that escaped from the zoo eating garbage with ornament dangling on his mane.
Transformational Event: Stepdad perseveres because he has whip training and uses whip to knock ornament loose and back lion back into empty cage.
Inciting incident: Owl in tree watching
Transformational Event: As Stepdad runs to retrieve ornament, owl swoops in to steal ornament just a Stepdad is about to grab it. Boy Blames Stepdad as inept and intentionally not grabbing ornament before owl takes it
Interior newsroom: Lots of screens showing coverage of where lion was found
Mom in newsroom working on story city is safe because lion was found trapped in dump in a container. She leaves to go home
Act 4
Opening: Inside car: night, lots of traffic on street
Transformational incident: Owl lands on top of the New Year’s Eve Ball that drops from the top of One Times Square
Inciting incident: Follow tracker to One Times Square when tracker stops.
Boy is angry, hopeless and discouraged, silent.
Transformational Event: Stepdad sees boy’s pain, parks, jumps out with boy following tracker to top of building to get ornament
Inciting Incident: They see owl with ornament hanging from beak sitting on top of New Year’s Eve Ball. Dares Stepdad to go on ledge on top of One Times Square. Accuse Stepdad ob being a coward the opposite of his dad,
Transformational event: Though afraid of heights, Stepdad climbs out on top of building ledge high 25 stories above ground.
He has to jump to scaffolding to get close enough to use his whip as a rope swing. Using whip he swings over to owl on ball and grabs ornament from owl’s beak.
Swings back and gets big hug from stepson
Return Home: Inside house living room with tv
TV News showing lion trapped in container
Stepdad and boy enter home, with ornament as Mom asks how was your evening
Answer We had a Roaring good time
-
Renee’s High-Speed Beat Sheet Draft 2
What I learned doing this assignment is that it is important to include your antagonist’s journey in your beat sheet, as well as your theme. I think I did a good job on the first round of including both.
1. EXT. SF BAY PARK – DAY
Mia sits on a bench sketching what’s in front of her. She watches an older couple walk by arm in arm. She spots a dandelion and makes a wish to find love.
2. EXT. STREET – DAY
Mia hurries to work when a man, Ian, steps out a doorway and runs into her, knocking her to the ground. He helps her up and watches her as she runs down the sidewalk.
3. INT. BACK OFFICE – DAY
Mia sits with her hands in her lap and her head down. Her boss is lecturing her on her responsibilities and writes her up for being late.
4. INT. CAFÉ/COFFEE SHOP – DAY
Mia stands at the coffee machine, filling a cup for a customer, Lonnie is next to her wiping the counter down and talking to her. Someone taps on the counter; Mia turns around and it’s the guy she ran into earlier. He asks her out on a date.
5. INT. APARTMENT – NIGHT
Mia is in her apartment getting ready for her date. Her roommate Breanna is helping her get dressed, do her hair and her makeup. Breanna hints at bringing Mia to the club with her sometime.
6. INT. RESTAURANT – NIGHT
Mia is sitting across from Ian. They are talking and laughing, getting to know one another. Mia is having a really good time.
7. EXT. APARTMENT – NIGHT
Ian walks Mia up to her door. He asks if he can see her again. She says yes. They kiss.
8. INT. CAFÉ/COFFEE SHOP – DAY
Mia is at work. A delivery person comes in with a large bouquet of flowers for her. The card simply says from a secret admirer. Lonnie asks who they’re from, she guesses they are from Ian.
9. INT. CLASSROOM – DAY
Mia sits behind a painting easel. A teacher walks around examining each student painting. She comes to Mia and admires the work she’s doing. It’s a painting of the flowers she received earlier.
10. INT. APARTMENT – NIGHT
Mia comes into the apartment, flowers in hand, and paint flecks on her face and arms. Breanna gushes over the flowers and wants Mia to come out to the club with her. Mia is initially reluctant but decides to go.
11. INT. CLUB – NIGHT
Mia sits at a table by herself drinking a fruity cocktail. She watches Brianna on the dance floor. Lonnie shows up and sits with Mia.
12. INT. SCHOOL – DAY
Mia is sitting at a table studying, a group of students asks if they can sit with her. She says she was just leaving, and they can have the table. She quickly packs her stuff and leaves.
13. EXT. APARTMENT – DAY
Mia walks up to her door and finds a present sitting on the doormat. She picks it up and looks at it. She unlocks the door and goes inside.
14. INT. APARTMENT – DAY
Mia walks in and reads the card on the present. It’s from a secret admirer. She opens the box and there’s a beautiful silver bracelet inside.
15. INT. CAFÉ/COFFEE SHOP – DAY
Mia is at a table in the corner studying. Lonnie is working but keeps coming over and talking to Mia. Ian comes in and sits down with Mia. She abandons her studying. She thanks him for the present and the flowers. He looks confused but hopes she likes it.
16. INT. APARTMENT – NIGHT
Ian and Mia are sitting on the couch watching a movie. Breanna comes in and talks with the two while she changes into her clubbing clothes. She leaves again. Ian tells Mia he’d like her to come to a ball game and meet his friends. She politely declines.
17. INT. COFFEE SHOP – DAY
Mia talks to Lonnie about Ian and all the sweet things he’s given her. She gets called into the back by her boss.
18. INT. BACK OFFICE – DAY
Mia’s boss is talking to her about her socializing too much at work and that it’s affecting her performance. If she keeps it up, she’ll be written up again. Mia is angry but doesn’t say anything.
19. EXT. COFFEE SHOP – DAY
Mia walks out the door. Lonnie follows shortly after and calls to her. She stops while he catches up. Lonnie asks if she wants to hang out later. She tells him she can’t she has to go and study.
20. INT. APARTMENT – NIGHT
Breanna is helping Mia get ready to go out. Mia puts the new bracelet on. Breanna asks her where she got it. Mia said it was from Ian, he left it sitting at the door. Breanna is confused but lets it slide.
21. INT. CLUB – NIGHT
Mia is at the club with Breanna, but this time she’s on the dance floor with her. She’s really enjoying herself. Someone watches her from the back.
22. INT. COFFEE SHOP – DAY
Lonnie asks Mia if she was able to get any studying done. She tells him she ended up at the club with Breanna. Lonnie gets angry and walks away. Mia tries to apologize but he ignores her.
23. INT. APARTMENT – NIGHT
Mia comes in the door to find Breanna lying in a puddle of blood. She calls the police. The police come and take Breanna away and ask Mia to come down to the station for questioning.
24. INT. INTERROGATION ROOM – NIGHT
The police question Mia about Breanna’s death. They think she killed her because she “stole” Ian from her. They show her a video from a club with Breanna and Ian dancing and partying together. This is the first Mia is hearing of this. They don’t get what they want and let Mia leave.
25. EXT. POLICE STATION – NIGHT
Mia stands outside. Lonnie comes running up and hugs her. She starts to sob. They start walking back to her apartment.
26. EXT. APARTMENT – NIGHT
They reach her apartment, but she can’t go in. Lonnie says he’ll grab what she needs. He disappears inside. He comes out with a bag of Mia’s things. He suggests they go to a diner to eat and figure out where Mia will stay.
27. INT. RESTAURANT – NIGHT
Lonnie sits at a booth alone. The waitress brings two cups of coffee. Mia comes out of the bathroom and sits across from Lonnie. She starts to drink her coffee. She has trouble concentrating. Lonnie pays and helps Mia up.
28. EXT. RESTAURANT – NIGHT
Lonnie holds Mia up. He calls for an UBER. He loads Mia in and then gets in after her.
29. INT. BEDROOM – DAY
Mia starts to wake up. She tries to move her arms but realizes they are tied to the bed. She struggles with the ropes. Her legs are tied as well. She starts to panic.
30. EXT. APARTMENT – DAY
Two police officers stand at Mia’s door. They think she’s on the run. They put out an APB on her.
31. INT. BEDROOM – DAY
Mia is struggling against her ropes. Lonnie comes in and sits on the bed next to her.
He starts talking to her about how they can be together now and how he’s going to make her so happy.
32. INT. COFFEE SHOP – DAY
Two police officers are standing at the counter talking to Mia’s boss. They are asking questions about who she’s friends with if they know where she might go. The boss tells them she was scheduled to work in the morning, but never showed up.
33. INT. BEDROOM – DAY
Mia is alone in the room again. She’s trying to get her hands or feet untied. She can hear Lonnie moving around in the other room. She looks around for anything that can help her.
34. EXT. IAN’S APARTMENT – DAY
The police knock on his door. He answers and lets them in.
35. INT. IAN’S APARTMENT – DAY
The police ask Ian questions about Mia. He tells them he hasn’t seen her since she started ghosting him. He has no idea where she might be.
36. INT. BEDROOM – DAY
Lonnie comes back in the room with some food. He tries to feed Mia, but it isn’t working. She tells him she won’t try to run if he just unties her. He is reluctant at first but agrees. He unties her arms. She sits up and takes the spoon from him and starts to eat.
37. INT. POLICE STATION – DAY
One of Mia’s coworkers asks to speak to the officers in charge of Mia’s disappearance. She tells them that they need to find Lonnie. He was obsessed with her. If you find him, she’s sure they’ll find Mia.
38. INT. BEDROOM – DAY
Mia finishes eating. Lonnie goes to tie her back up, but she pleads with him to leave her free. He ties her back up and takes the dishes out of the room. Mia starts to cry.
39. INT. POLICE STATION – DAY
The detective assigned to Breanna’s look into Lonnie.
40. INT. BEDROOM – DAY
Mia gets Lonnie to untie her. She plays along with his fantasy of being a couple. She looks for a way out. She realizes Lonnie has the only set of keys on him, she finds a way to knock him unconscious and steal the keys.
EXT. LONNIE’S HOME – DAY
The police pull up in front of the house. The front door opens and Mia stumbles out. Bloody and bruised but otherwise okay. The police storm into the house, guns were drawn.
INT. SCHOOL – DAY
Mia sits in the middle of the couch, surrounded by half a dozen other students. They are talking and laughing. Ian moves into the frame and sits down next to Mia, putting his arm around his shoulder. He kisses her cheek.
-
What I learned doing this assignment is the antagonist needs to have a clear through line that goes in direct opposition to the protagonist’s quest. Or else there is no sense of escalating conflict.
THEME: <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>How tradition and culture can subject mistreatment without any acknowledgement
What is the benefit of tradition?
Brings people together, family
Passes down heritage from generation to generation
What is the consequence of tradition?
Stubbornness, strict rules
Stereotypes, roles, subjugation to abuse and mistreatment, condescension
Antagonist Beat Sheet
1. Father wants to pass down the tradition of family ritual to his son, maybe the restaurant as well?
2. Father removes any threat of discovery of his mistress. Phone call in the car.
3. Jin finds out about Father but he continues to act as if nothing is wrong. Continues to behave high and almighty around his son. Jin is disturbed by this.
4. Father pressures Jin’s mom to attend a birthday dinner for the grandfather, assures her that no work will be necessary, just an appearance is all
5. At dinner he ridicules her for earning a degree in psychology and doing nothing with it. Grandfather backs this up unknowingly by assuring that she played her part in raising two sons, and that he gave her a bonus every time she gave birth to a male offspring. Jin is disgusted by this.
6. Jin speaks up but his father shuts him down and tells him to leave dinner. Be dismissed.
7. Father goes around and confesses to the family before Jin has a chance to, get them on his side. They believe in his story and forgive him. Jin doesn’t get the reaction he wants when he breaks the news.
8. The family banishes his mother from coming to ignore the situation.
9. Forces of opposition need to get stronger before showdown at the end.
-
Gayle’s Beat Sheet Draft 2
What I learned from this assignment is…not every theme is easily detected, but in good movies they are not far from the surface.
THEME: Success is having good relationships.
<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>INT. BASEMENT STUDIO – NIGHT
OPENING: Rick is desperate for regain the fame he and his wife had from their ghost busting experiences.
INT. BOOKSTORE – NIGHT
TE 1: No one shows up at a book signing and no one recognizes him at an industry panel.
ANTAGONIST: Rick’s selfish flaw gets in his own way.
INT. BASEMENT STUDIO
INCITING INCIDENT: They are offered a reality show, but Samantha is set on having a baby and does not want to be in the spotlight.
THEME: Rick is too selfish to sustain their marriage
TE 2: Rick is called out on his lack of paranormal prowess and embarrassed when he must admit his wife Samantha is the real team leader.
TURNING POINT: Rick ignores Samantha and announces the show and she announces she wants a divorce. The ghosts who live in their house take notice.
ANTAGONIST: Samantha wants Rick gone. Caroline wants Rick to change and come back. Rick wants to come back without having to make any changes in himself.
ACT 2
INT. LIVING ROOM
PLACEHOLDER: Rick at first tries to win Sam back but she realizes he is just doing it because the show is conditional on them being a team.
THEME: Rick believes their career is their marriage and they both need it to work.
ANTAGONIST: Samantha chooses her own goals and is winning. Rick must deal with failure and loss of respect from his wife.
TE 3: Rick’s ego is shattered when Sam no longer needs him and demands he sign over the house and she will also have to pay him alimony.
INT. GUEST BEDROOM
NEW PLAN: Caroline and the ghosts decide to scare Samantha into remembering how successful and in love she and Rick were when they were ghostbusting
ANTAGONIST: Two ghosts falling in love and need to manipulate Rick.
INT. HOUSE – CONTINUOUS
PLAN IN ACTION: Caroline stages paranormal experiences in the house.
PLACEHOLDER: The pranks with the plumbing and eerie noises and moving objects don’t work, but Samantha does call Rick and they get drunk and let out all of their hostilities
INT. MASTER BEDROOM
ANTAGONIST: The ghosts who are falling in love invade Rick and Sam’s bodies.
MID-POINT: Two ghosts take over Rick and Sam’s bodies to have sex
TE 4: Rick wakes up thinking Sam wants him back and is disillusioned when she says not. Samantha wants Rick to sign a quitclaim deed, but it is missing.
THEME: Rick sees marriage is give and take
ANTAGONIST: Rick starting to see how his flaws have ruined his marriage.
ACT 3
INT. HOUSE
RETHINK: Rick tries to convince Sam to reconsider but she decides to sell the house. Caroline needs to ramp up and turn Rick into Sam’s hero.
ANTAGONIST: Rick deals with a paranormal experience on his own.
NEW PLAN: Caroline locks Sam somewhere within the ether of the house
TE 5: Rick can only hear her. As Sam is locked away she and Rick have a long heart-to-heart that leads to their reunion.
SCENE: Rick is losing control, starting to change as he is alone trying to solve a paranormal experience. But with Samantha in his ear, he begins to gain control and uses his skills to find the ritual book he needs to rescue her.
THEME: Rick’s flaw is preventing him from rescuing his wife. He must evolve his thinking – listening to his partner because marriage is compromise. And his marriage success will be his career success.
PLACEHOLDER: Caroline and the ghosts watch from a distance but realize they cannot reverse the spell to get Sam back anyway, which really leads Rick to use all of his know-how.
INT. BASEMENT STUDIO
TE 6: Rick reads all of Sam’s notes and gains insight into who she is as a person, apart from him and their career together.
SCENE: The ghosts appear to Rick to confirm what is happening and why – it firms his resolve to make it up with Sam and give serious consideration to her dreams.
THEME: Marriage works for both partners. Rick cannot succeed in this job related event without Sam.
INT. LIVING ROOM
TP ALL IS LOST: Rick needs his farsi-speaking agent to translate the passage to release Sam, but it also releases a Djinn who inhabits the agent’s body and tries to kill Rick who is saved by Sam.
ANTAGONIST: As Rick and Sam reunite, they realize the demon is in their friend’s body. The djinn attempts to kill Rick and Sam and successfully turns one of the ghosts into dust particles
ACT 4
INT. LIVING ROOM
TE 7: Rick realizes the power in working as a team with the ghosts and Samantha
CLIMAX: Rick leads the exorcism of the djinn from the agent
ANTAGONIST: The djinn needs a body but must fight Rick, Sam, the agent and the ghosts who are ready with the ritual which creates energy too strong for the djinn.
THEME: A successful partnership is where the couple works together to solve crises.
PLACEHOLDER: As the djinn is let out, the ghosts needs to use their mojo to turn it into dust. The subplot plays with the ghosts completing their own arc.
RESOLUTION: Rick and Sam work with the ghosts to destroy the djinn forever. Rick and Sam want to stay in their home together and write another book while having a baby.
THEME: Success is a good relationship. A successful relationship is what makes Rick’s career success.
TE 8: Rick is an equal, humble partner in his
marriage and and their career which will be on an upswing when they write their
new book on their experiences. -
Dave Holloway’s Beat Sheet Draft 2
What I learned doing this assignment is the importance of exploring the theme throughout the screenplay.
OPENING
INT. COURTROOM – DAY
We see Nigel is court, arguing a case with some passion.
INT. PRISON – DAY
The warden interviews Livia in his office. She has her wrists handcuffed in front of her. A guard stands several feet behind the chair in which she sits. He interrogates Livia, asking why she was spying in the military state of Shiloh. When explains she is only a journalist on assignment to profile some of the North American states. He finally cuts her off dismissively and orders the guard to return her to her cell.
INT. HOME – NIGHT
INCITING INCIDENT – Nigel receives a SKYPE call from his wife, Livia, who is a journalist reporting from the independent states that occupy the land where America once was. She reports she has been imprisoned in a military state on the West Coast on a false charge of spying, and that the prison is executing some of its prisoners.
INT. PRIME MINISTER’S RESIDENCE
TE #1 – Nigel meets with a high official in the British government and tries to convince them to intercede with the military state, Shiloh, on his wife’s behalf. He is told Britain has no diplomatic relations with Shiloh, so nothing can be done.
INT. PUB – NIGHT
Nigel tells his best friend, Roger, of Livia’s imprisonment. He says he’s going to Shiloh to try to rescue her. He expresses some fear of venturing alone to a military state to try to obtain a prisoner’s release, but feels there is no choice. Roger volunteers to accompany him, and Nigel agrees.
INT. AIRPLANE – Nigel and Roger take a commercial flight headed to Los Angeles, near the headquarters of Shiloh and the prison where Livia is kept. Roger is enthusiastic about the adventure, while Nigel is filled with worries about it.
INT. PRISON – DAY
The warden has Livia in his office again. He tells her that Shiloh has seen television footage from England of Nigel’s appearance on an English television show, appealing to the audience for any information that might help him secure Livia’s release. He demands that Livia contact Nigel by SKYPE and tell him of her imprisonment and ask if he’ll come to try to free her. He tells her that he will be present when she makes the call.
INT. AIRPLANE – DAY
TE#2 – As they near the East Coast of North America, the pilot announces that the states on the East Coast have declared their air space inviolate. No plane can cross it, so they will have to land in New York.
INT. AIRPORT – DAY
They walk through the New York airport, and decide to take a bus across the state it’s in, called Commerce. Nigel is very concerned about the change in plans and the additional time it will take to reach Shiloh.
INT. BUS – DAY
TE #3 – On the bus, they meet a man who’s a leader of working-class people in Commerce, who are rising up against the dominance of the management class that runs the state. A police car pulls the bus over and cops get on the bus and try to arrest the labor leader. But he, his bodyguards and Roger fight them off. Nigel watches the fight.
INT. PRISON – DAY
Livia makes the SKYPE call to Nigel, but he doesn’t answer. She records a message to him, telling him of her imprisonment and begging him to rescue her. The warden watches her carefully from behind her.
EXT. ENVIRONMENTAL STATE – DAY
They arrive at the next State, Elysium, and take a taxi across it. The state is very green and beautiful.
EXT. NATIVE-AMERICAN STATE – DAY
They arrive at a Native-American state, Tribal Nations. They cannot cross by car, so they must cross on horseback. They hire a young woman who is a guide in the state and can help them cross as quickly and safely as possible.
EXT. CAMPING SITE – NIGHT
Nigel sees Livia’s SKYPE message. He sends her back a message, telling her he is already traveling to her, and has reached the Tribal Nations. He promises to arrive as quickly as possible.
EXT. RIVERSIDE – DAY
TE #4 – They approach a Native village and see a canoe along a river. Roger suggests they steal it. They get into the canoe and drift past the village in the middle of the river. Only the guide, Amelia, is visible to the Natives they float by.
EXT. CAMPING SPOT – NIGHT
As Roger and Amelia talk, they become more friendly with each other. A spark of attraction develops between them.
INT. PRISON – DAY
The warden has Livia make another SKYPE call to Nigel. This time he answers her. She tells him she fears for her life if he cannot rescue her soon. She tells him to call her as often as possible to update her on his location. He promises to do so. He is obviously very fearful of what will happen to her. He tells her they plan to catch a train in the Western Reserve, which they can take all the way to Shiloh.
EXT. TOWN – DAY
They reach a town in a state with no laws, the Western Reserve, where they can get a train across the state and all the way to Shiloh.
EXT. TRAIN STATION – DAY
They get on the train and find it is full of Native Americans travelling to a town in the Western Reserve to negotiate resolution of a dispute they have with the Western Reserve caused by the Western Reserve’s hunters venturing into the Tribal Nation’s territory to hunt game.
EXT. WESTERN RESERVE – DAY
Nigel and Roger get off the train with four Native Americans they’ve become friendly with on the train. They walk to the appointed location where the two sides will meet and try to resolve the dispute.
EXT. WESTERN RESERVE – DAY
The attempt at resolution fails, and a battle breaks out between the Natives and the Western Reserve people. In the battle, Nigel is shot and wounded in the arm, but one of the Natives tends to his wound. One of the Natives they had grown close to is killed, and they are torn by watching him die.
INT. PRISON – DAY
The warden orders executions to proceed more quickly and plentifully. More citizens are being captured and brought to the prison, and he wants to have empty cells to house them all. He also orders Livia’s meals to be reduced to one per day.
EXT. TRAIN STATION – DAY
As they cross the Western Reserve, the train stops at a station, and they get out for fresh air. There they see posters with their photos on them, offering a $10,000 bounty for their capture, dead or alive. The bounties require them to be taken to Shiloh. Some bounty hunters see them in the station and try to capture them, but the two of them fight the bounty hunters off.
INT. TRAIN – DAY
They leave the Western Reserve, and the train takes them across the Dead Lands, an area that has been so contaminated by pesticides, industrial waste, carbon monoxide and climate change that the whole state is a burnt-out wasteland that has been incinerated by fires.
EXT. SHILOH – DAY
TE #5 – They reach the Shiloh border, and Nigel SKYPES Livia and tell her where they are. She looks thin and unhealthy and he is clear worried about her. She tells him to SKYPE her as soon as they get to Vicksburg.
EXT. SHILOH – DAY
They follow Shiloh’s border wall out into the countryside where they discover a way to climb in. They have to jump down from the 15-foot wall into a river on the other side, not knowing how deep the water is or whether they’ll be hurt or killed. To Roger’s surprise, Nigel insists on jumping first. The water is deep enough, and they are unhurt.
EXT. SHILOH – DAY
TE #6 – They find a road, stop a car traveling on it, order the driver out, and drive away with his car. They eventually get to Vicksburg, the Shiloh capital where Livia is held.
INT. VICKSBURG HOTEL – NIGHT
Livia is able to text them, and tells them her prison lawyer will meet them. The warden is behind her, and has told her what to say.
INT. VICKSBURG RESTAURANT – DAY
The next day, Nigel meets the lawyer in a restaurant and explains that Roger is not there because Nigel didn’t want to expose him to the risk of capture. The lawyer is very fearful, and after checking to see if there are sound detection devices in the restaurant, he tells Nigel in a lowered voice that a plan has been devised by the warden to lure them into a trap, where they will be captured. He tells them Livia doesn’t have much time left before she’ll be executed. He then tells them of a true escape plan he has for her, and of a man he knows who is a pilot and can fly the three of them out of the state. They agree to the plan.
EXT. SHILOH PRISON – DAY
Livia walks with a group of prisoners who are about to be executed. She and her lawyer escape the group, and he drives her to a street corner in Vicksburg, where she meets Roger and Nigel. The lawyer pleads with them to take him with them, because he believes Shiloh authorities know what he’s doing and he feels he’ll be executed if he doesn’t escape. The four of them drive off in his car.
EXT. VICKSBURG STREET – DAY
They drive to the home of a man who is against the military state and sometimes flies others out of the state who want to escape.
INT. PRISON – DAY
The warden has bugged the lawyer’s car and knows where they’re doing. He drives in a prison car to the pilot’s house.
EXT. VICKSBURG NEIGHBORHOOD – DAY
TE #7 – He starts his plane, and they are about to take off when the prison warden arrives. Nigel has to fight the man and knocks him unconscious, before getting into the plane.
INT AIRPLANE – DAY
The plane takes off, and they fly toward Mexico City, where they will take a commercial flight to London. They are free.
-
Lesson 8 –
Clendon – Theme
[1] What I learned doing this assignment? Keeping the Theme in the forefront of one’s mind and seeing if and how it works in the various T.E.’s and the supporting characters and their exploration on the theme. This builds a coherence that is otherwise touched upon, but not kept percolating just below the surface. I found it very instructive and something I was lacking.
[2] Use the High Speed Writing Rules as you do today’s assignment.
Rule
1: Understand
writing in drafts.
Rule
2: Choose
speed over quality for EARLY drafts.
Rule
3: Allow
yourself to start (and continue) without all the answers.
Rule
4: Use
empowering self talk. Cheer yourself on.
Rule
5: Give
yourself freedom to write without criticism.
Rule
6: Keep
moving. Don’t allow yourself to ever stall out.
Rule
7: if
it doesn’t come to you, give it to your creative mind to process.======================================================
[3] Do Pass 1: Interweave theme throughout the beat sheet. (Theme is Revenge)
INT. HOME – DAY
OPENING: A man breaks into a home, moves stealthily towards a woman’s voice. We see she is talking on the phone. Man makes his presence known. Woman pleads with this person whom she knows, he kills her, plants evidence. Predator/prey Revenge = JR wants his freedom from Mary
EXT. CITY PARK – SAME
PLACEHOLDER: Clendon is with his Girl, Gina, having a picnic and wine. They are accosted by a woman claiming to be a detective. Clendon thinks it’s his dad being controlling and subdues the woman. Turns out she is a police detective.
INT. SCHOOL – CLASSROOM – MORNING
INCITING INCIDENT: Clendon, at school, is called upon by the detective (from the park) and school principle. Clendon is told his mother has been murdered.
INT. SCHOOL – PRINCIPLE OFFICE – CONTINUOUS
PLACEHOLDER: Clendon is taken there to be briefed and processed.
INT. INTERROGATION ROOM – DAY
TE 1: Clendon is questioned by the detective. She tells him: “If you killed her, I will find the proof to take you down. Promise.” He tells her, “You’ve a murder to solve… Better hope I don’t find him first, detective.” Simple Revenge = Clendon wants to kill his mother’s killer
INT. INTERROGATION ROOM – CONTINUOUS
PLACEHOLDER: Clendon’s powerful father enters with his lawyer and springs Clendon.
INT. CONFERENCE ROOM – AFTERNOON
TE 2: Clendon meets with his mother’s lawyer, learns he is filthy rich. Reads his mom’s letter re: kindness and how proud she is of him helping the homeless.
INT. MOTHER’S HOME – LATER
PLACEHOLDER: Clendon is there, alone, upset. He wants vengeance, doesn’t know where to begin. He wants Simple revenge, an eye for an eye.
EXT. CEMETARY – DAY
TE 3: Clendon with his father and influential people at Mary’s burial. Clendon watches his dad, thinks he did it. Sure he killed his mom. He fantasizes pulling a knife and killing the man. Fantasy revenge.
EXT. GRAVEYARD – NIGHT
TE 4: Clendon’s emotional breakdown at the graveyard. He nearly freezes to death. He is rescued by the detective. He has to change his old ways. Collision of guilt and grief.
INT. SCHOOL – DAY
PLACEHOLDER: Clendon stops a bully from picking on a kid; beats his ass. Leaves school.
INT. CAFE – LATER
PLACEHOLDER: Gina finds Clendon there; they talk. He leaves when detective shows up.
EXT. CITY PARK – AFTERNOON
TE 5: Clendon and homeless man Joe-Joe are shot by a crazy person while Clendon is feeding the homeless. Joe-Joe dies; Clendon is rushed to hospital.
INT. HOSPITAL ROOM – LATER
PLACEHOLDER: Clendon wakes up from surgery and detective is there. They bond. Clendon’s father shows up, is rude to both Clendon and the Detective. He tells Clendon it was Poetic Justice he was shot by a loser.
INT. SHOPPING MALL – NIGHT
PLACEHOLDER: Clendon and Natalie go Xmas shopping for the homeless kids. It helps to lift Clendon’s spirits. They go back to his house and wrap presents and bond.
INT. CHURCH – PODIUM – DAY
TE 6: Clendon announces to the public he is building a 500 bed homeless shelter.
INT. OFFICE – DAY
TE 7: Clendon catches JR in a lie re: his mom. Gets suspicious recalls JR’s look of guilt when talking about revenge and how it wouldn’t bring his mom back. He takes a strand of JR’s hair from bathroom, gets it tested. JR is the killer! Clendon is working to solve the crime; sees it as Constructive Revenge
INT. KITCHEN – EARLIER
PLACEHOLDER: JR suffers a massive heart attack. He is unconscious, cannot speak. Clendon cannot get the answer he seeks from JR. He must protect him from the detective who knows the truth. This is as Clendon sees it, Divine Vengeance
INT. STARBUCKS – DAY
TE 8: Clendon tells the detective to drop the case. If she goes after JR, he will tell the jury he worked with JR every day, the hair fiber came off his clothes, not JR being in the house.
============================================
[4] Do Pass 2: Build in the Antagonist Journey.
A. Antagonist (JR) has a plan in motion before the movie started. He was already in action on his plan and the Protagonist (Clendon) stepped into it, often without knowing.
1. Antagonist (JR) enters a home & kills Mary, Klendon’s mom, then takes her crucifix.
2. JR & his daughter, Natalie, meet Gina, Klendon’s girl. She helps them feed the homeless.
3. JR, Natalie & Gina are arrested later while feeding the homeless by Detective Ramirez
4. JR & Natalie are bailed out by Klendon; they leave in his new SUV.
5. At JR’s Café, they eat & talk about the murder: who, what, when, where and why.
6. Café – later, JR stokes the smoker, adds oak, throws his IOU’s to Mary in the fire
7. Hospital – am, JR takes Klendon bbq; tells him no more homeless come new yr.
8. Kitchen – pm, JR has a massive stroke; rushed to hospital, a vegetable!
9. JR, unable to move or speak, hears the worries, fears, etc of his daughter & Kendon.
* To add insult to injury, Klendon has JR moved into Mary’s house so they (he and Natalie) can look after him. It is the very same house JR said he would never step foot in again, how it reminded him of everything she (Mary) had and everything he was lacking – opening scene!
* Poetic justice – Just as the dead cannot speak or explain themselves, JR can’t either.
-
Sandra’s Beat Sheet Draft 2
What I learned doing this assignment is how to incorporate the theme of perseverance, and the antagonist’s journey throughout the beat sheet. This was a great lesson!
Genre: Thriller.
Concept: A Ph.D. student discovers the sinister identity of her professor who has been sabotaging her research.
ACT I
INT. UNIVERSITY RESEARCH LAB – NIGHT
(OPENING): Using an eyedropper, someone puts a few drops from an unmarked vial into vial TM1 (test mouse 1). Vial and eye dropper put in a baggy and hides in the assistant’s desk drawer. Distorted voice on a cellphone orders flowers to be delivered.
INT. LUCY’S HOUSE – DAY
LUCY, a 30-year-old, married, Ph.D. student, stands in a steamy bathroom. Wearing a robe and towel wrapped around her hair. Cracks the door open to let out the steam. Rehearses her dissertation defense as she looks in the mirror and applies makeup. Hears a noise. Opens the door further and goes into the living room. She examines a bouquet of flowers on the coffee table – no note. She heads into the bedroom and finds a “You Can Do It!” card on the bed pillow from her husband.
EXT./INT. LUCY’S CAR – DAY
Lucy gets in her car and drives away. Parks at the University and strolls into a building.
INT. UNIVERSITY PROFESSOR CLARKS OFFICE – DAY
Door closed, PROFESSOR CLARK, 50’s, brilliant, balding, paunchy, on the phone with a pharmaceutical company. What is Professor Clark hiding? He hangs up.
Lucy knocks on his door. He tells her to enter. They discuss her dissertation. Professor Clark gets close to Lucy, makes advances. Lucy feels uncomfortable, gathers her bag, heads towards the lab.
INT. UNIVERSITY RESEARCH LAB – DAY
Lucy enters the lab. Note on the lab desk to Lucy from her assistant reads, “Fed the mice. Will be back later after class.”
(INCITING INCIDENT): Lucy finds another dead lab mouse. She can’t believe it.
(TURNING POINT 1): What happened to the lab mouse? Lucy does an autopsy. The mouse was poisoned with arsenic.
TE 1 – Who would poison the lab mouse? Lucy assumes it was her research assistant.
ACT II
INT./EXT. LUCY’S CAR – DAY
(NEW PLAN): Lucy drives her car down a street, and pulls into a restaurant parking lot to have lunch with her husband. She parks. Slings her purse over her shoulder. Opens the door. Steps out.
EXT. RESTAURANT – DAY
Lucy looks forward to having lunch with her husband. Unknown to Lucy, Professor Clark has hired a thug to watch/stalk and scare her as he plans to sabotage Lucy’s research project for nefarious reasons. As Lucy walks across the parking lot, she is almost hit by a big black monster pickup truck.
Lucy walks towards the restaurant main door. She stops. Through the window Lucy thinks she sees her husband holding hands with another woman.
TE 2: Lucy jumps to conclusions and thinks her husband is cheating on her and feels betrayed. However, it’s not her husband, it’s someone who resembles him.
Upset, Lucy turns around and storms back to her car. Clicks the door unlock button on her key fob and opens the driver side door. Throws her bag on the passenger seat. Bag tips over. Home pregnancy kit, ancestry kit and other items fall out. She slides in. Slams the door shut.
INT./EXT. LUCY’S CAR – DAY
(PLAN OF ACTION): Lucy grips the steering wheel with both hands. Leans her forehead on the wheel. Swears. She speeds off back to the university lab, knocking over a sign. Lucy is caught in traffic – accident or construction. At a standstill.
Her husband calls when Lucy doesn’t show up. They argue. Says he wasn’t sitting near the window. She doesn’t believe him. She believes him when she sees he’s wearing a blue shirt not a grey one (Face Time). She maneuvers the car to get off on a side road.
TE 3: Lucy has a flat tire. Pulls off to the side of the road. Heavy traffic. Black pickup truck side swipes her driver side door. She finds the spare tire and jack. Reads the instructions. Gives herself a pep talk. Changes the tire. Tire was slashed. Lucy wonders who’s following her and why.
She drops the tire and injures her foot. Limps to the passenger side door, climbs in.
INT. UNIVERSITY RESEARCH LAB – DAY
Assistant returns from class, acting anxious, distracted, and nervous.
TE 4: Lucy confronts her. Assistant swears she didn’t poison the mouse. Assistant uncovers the vial and eye dropper in a baggy in her desk drawer. Assistant warns Lucy about Professor Clark, he’s not who he says he is. Shows Lucy an article and hands her a flash drive.
(MIDPOINT): Lucy receives a phone call from her brother that her mother is in the hospital and may not live. Mother requests Lucy to come home. What secret has Lucy’s mother been keeping?
ACT III
INT. UNIVERSITY RESEARCH LAB – DAY
Lucy looks at the flash drive regarding Professor Clark’s background. She wonders if his credentials are fraudulent. Lucy reviews news articles about a Professor Clark Thompson at another school who killed a student. She’s shocked. A lie is uncovered, and a secret identity uncovered. Lucy discovers that Professor Clark is really Clark Thompson and wanted by the FBI. She wonders about his next victim.
INT. UNIVERSITY PROFESSOR CLARKS OFFICE – DAY
(RETHINK EVERYTHING): Lucy reports the mouse incident and her mother’s situation to Professor Clark. How will this impact her dissertation? Professor Clark lies, deceives, and manipulates. Professor Clark suspects the assistant and will have her expelled. The worst thing possible happens, Professor Clark threatens Lucy with loss of her job/career if she leaves to see her dying mother. Lucy desperately wants to see her mother and thinks she will finally find out who her father is after all these years.
Lucy’s dilemma is whether to visit her dying mother or give her dissertation?
EXT. UNIVERSITY RESEARCH LAB – DAY
Lucy’s husband pulls up outside the lab. Lucy bends over to kiss him and slips the flash drive into his pocket. She asks her husband to put the flash drive in the safety deposit box. Husband promises, but forgets to go to the bank before it closes.
INT./EXT. LUCY’S CAR -DAY
(NEW PLAN): Lucy puts family first and drives on a rural road to see her mother.
TE 5: Unexpected strong storm. It rains harder and harder.
(TURNING POINT 2): Lucy’s car is rear ended and then pushed into a ditch by the black monster pickup. Who ran her off the road and why?
ACT IV
INT./EXT. LUCY’S CAR -DAY
It just got more dangerous. Ditch fills with water. Car filling with water. She’s trapped.
TE 6: Lucy’s afraid she won’t survive.
(FINAL PLAN): Lucy calls her family and friends.
Lucy calls her husband to tell him where she is and that she loves him if she doesn’t survive. Tells him she may be pregnant. He’s thrilled. She realizes she can have it all (career and family) on her terms.
Next, she calls her brother. Begs him to let her talk to her mother as she’s caught in a storm.
(CLIMAX/ULTIMATE EXPRESSION OF THE CONFLICT): Lucy knows she won’t be able to present her dissertation. Maybe she can do it another time or start over. Talks to her mother on the phone.
TE 7: Lucy finds out who she thought was her mother is really her grandmother, her sister is her biological mother, and her father is unknown.
(RESOLUTION): The storm lets up, then stops. Sunshine peeks out of the clouds. Lucy slides the sunroof open. Surveys the landscape – corn crops are flattened. She gathers everything into her bag. She crawls out of the sun roof. Lucy’s husband finds her. He drives up and offers her a ride. They embrace and kiss. University lost power. Dissertations postponed.
PLACEHOLDER: What happens to Professor Clark? Will he be arrested or disappear?
-
Melanie’s Beat Sheet Draft 2
What I learned: just keep going! Ideas sort themselves out as long as you keep moving forward.
Act 1:
INT. WOODS – DAY
TE1: Sybil is playing a game of war in the woods next to her home with an Iroquois teen. He tracks her to her hiding spot, Sybil jumps out and tries to fight but he disarms her and she loses. She runs after him angrily and triggers a trap that leaves her hanging upside down from a tree from a rope. The teen laughs at her. His father appears, lets her down.
Theme: The father tells her “Everything on earth has a purpose, every disease an herb to cure it and every person a mission.” Sybil: “When will I know my purpose?” Iroquois: “When it is revealed to you.”
(Lesson: she doesn’t know how to fight)
EXT. FARMHOUSE – DAY
PLACEHOLDER: Sybil watches her father talk to the militia, sending them home. Sees Edmond in the troops. She asks her father to teach her how to shoot, but he refuses.
INT. FARMHOUSE – NIGHT
PLACEHOLDER: The family celebrates Sybil’s 16th birthday, exchange of gifts. (**maybe hoping for her father to give her a weapon but gets a necklace instead)
EXT. TRYON HOME – NIGHT
PLACEHOLDER: Meanwhile, Samuel witnesses the burning of General Tryon’s mansion, and feeds on the belief that the American militia were the arsonists. He helps to put out the flames, saving the General’s son and igniting his own desire to quell the enemy.
Inciting Incident
INT. LUDINGTON FARM HOUSE – NIGHT
PLACEHOLDER: Sybil leads her siblings in marching in front of the windows as soldiers in order to scare away Loyalists that have gathered to speak to her father. They see the shadows marching in front of the windows, think he has an army in the house and leave.
INT. LUDINGTON FARM HOUSE – NIGHT
INCITING INCIDENT:
A wounded messenger arrives at Sybil’s house in the night, warning her father that he must gather his soldiers as the British have invaded Danbury, CT. The man is too wounded to go any further and her father must stay to rally soldiers. His wound is deep and he says he was shot at. The reality hits her, but she . Her father forbids her to go but she hops on their horse anyway and leaves.
*Theme: The moment has presented itself…her purpose. Does she have the courage to go after her freedom?
Samuel waits outside the house, having shot him. Waiting to see if he has been successful. When Sybil leaves on horseback, he then follows her and realizes he must now stop her.
EXT. ROAD – NIGHT
Miles from her farm as rain starts to fall, Star (her horse) stubbornly stops in the road, refusing to go any further. She pushes and pulls to get her to move, and angers the horse further. Suddenly a gunshot whizzes by them, the horse bucks her off and runs into the forest.
Act 2:
EXT. ROAD – NIGHT
New plan
Sybil hides in a bush on the side of the road, managing to escape Samuel who rides by into the forest…after her horse. She decides she can’t go on foot and needs to get her horse back.
TE 2: She learns she needs help – she can’t do this mission alone.
Theme: She has total freedom now but she’s never been alone before. It’s different than she imagined it would be. She musters the courage to continue.
EXT. ROADSIDE – NIGHT
Sybil hides in the bushes. She heads into the forest after her. But they are too fast and she can’t possibly catch up. She’s now lost and alone. Remembering what she learned from the Iroquois friend, she starts to track them by looking for broken branches.
EXT. FOREST – NIGHT
TE3: Along the way she comes across dead American militia strewn across the forest floor. The spoils of war are not pretty. It’s not fun and games anymore. She continues on.
Theme: What was the cost of freedom for these soldiers?
EXT. SAMUEL’S CAMP – NIGHT
Midpoint Turning Point
She is able to track them and finds her horse now tied up next to Samuel’s camp. She sneaks in and frees her horse but it makes a ruckus. Samuel sees them, and fires at her again, but she hops on and they head out. Samuel hops on his horse and is right behind them. Another gunshot wounds her horse’s side.
Act 3:
Rethink everything
INT. BARN – NIGHT
Sybil and her horse make it to a nearby barn where she assesses her horse’s wound. Star is bleeding, and she hugs her in tears, finally forming a friendship. Samuel is now at the door to the house next door, banging on it looking for them. She has to act fast.
TE 4: She breaks down seeing her horse is injured because of her actions, but ultimately she decides to keep going. She can’t go back now.
Theme: At what cost is she willing to go to fight for her freedom? At the cost of killing her horse?
EXT. DANBURY, CT – NIGHT
British soldiers have descended upon the city, ransacking the town and starting to burn it down. We see the savagery and what’s at stake for the rest of the country should Sybil fail.
New plan
I/E. BARN – NIGHT
Sybil scrounges through the barn, makes a concoction to rub onto the wound, and wraps a cloth around it. As a team, they must work together.
TE 5: She regroups since her horse is now wounded, coming up with a new strategy to take another path to town instead of out running Samuel. She and the horse head out again, not on the road but through the forest.
EXT. TOWN, NY – NIGHT
Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift
Sybil and her horse make it to the first town. She grabs a stick and bangs on houses, waking them up. But none of the townspeople understand what is happening and they dismiss her. No sign of Samuel but he waits for her on the edge of town.
Act 4:
Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict
EXT. ROAD – NIGHT
Sybil rides faster, the blood soaking through Star’s bandage, making it to the next town but Samuel cuts them off before they enter.
TE 6: Samuel stands in her way. She must fight him in hand to hand combat. He points the gun at her, giving her a last warning. Her horse lunges at his, and his horse bucks him off. Sybil manages to disarm him (using the trick the Iroquois friend did to her in the beginning), succeeds leaving Samuel on the ground without his gun. She grabs his musket and heads into the town.
EXT. TOWN #2 – NIGHT
PLACEHOLDER: Men answer door, stumble out of houses.
EXT. CENTER OF TOWN #2 – NIGHT
Sybil rings the bell in the center of town, summoning the townspeople who gather groggily. Now she must find the words with which to address them.
TE 7: In addressing the crowd, she must be believable, figure out how to rally them. We see her use her dad’s skills, as he had addressed the troops in the beginning. But she is far more passionate and persuasive, speaking her truth.
She tells the British have invaded Danbury and holds up the musket as proof. Edmond, a soldier from her father’s regiment, vouches for her. She has become her dad but better! The militia finally rally behind her.
Theme: She now must instill in them the same courage she found for herself. To fight for their freedom. What is at stake for them?
EXT. OUTSIDE OF TOWN – NIGHT
PLACEHOLDER: Samuel leaves, seeing the forces she has rallied, unsuccessful in his attempt to stop her. He must go back to General Tryon to tell him of the failure – before these militia arrive in Danbury. Does he desert instead?
Resolution
EXT. ROAD OUTSIDE LUDINGTON FARM – NIGHT
She leads 400 militia men back to her farm to her father’s shock. He starts to help her off her horse, but Edmond does so instead. She no longer needs her father’s approval, she has proven her abilities to herself.
Theme: She has finally found her freedom, and is changed, having grown respect for what it took to get it.
-
Becky’s Beat Sheet Draft 2 – What I
learned doing this assignment is because of doing the character
traits, wants and needs a lot of this theme was worked throughout
already. It was amazing that you are headed down the right path and
just have to tweak in things along the journey of both characters.
Fun.ACT 1
INT. GEM THEATER – DAY
Opening: Dana’s first visit to THE GEM
theater. Sits in the center of the empty theater with the curtain
closed. Dana’s eyes are closed an opened book in her lap. The stage
curtains open to a grand piano being played by a black pianist and
Ade in a sparkling long, white gown singing a song from the early
1900s. (Dana whisper sings along) A strong wind blows the book closed
and stops the show going on in Dana’s mind.INT. LOBBY
The theater guide finds Dana for a
short tour – the closed curtain ripples as Dana looks back.INT. BACK STAGE
Guide questions Dana – Dana struggle
for words. (show meekness)? A history buff – loves old vaudeville
theaters. Try to write so Dana doesn’t speak yetINT. GEM THEATER – DAY
Inciting Incident: Back for a more in
depth tour of THE GEM.INT. LOBBY
Dana shows pictures – awkwardly asks
about the theater’s inclusion of Black performers. It is confirmed?
Brings up black performers? Asks in any old playbills? Confirms black
performances?INT. THEATER
Guide normally doesn’t add this, but
sometimes feels like place is haunted? That she can hear them singing
sometimes or practicing their lines.INT. GREEN ROOM – DAY
Sees a shimmer in mirror has a vision
of playbill in the mirror, entity whispers “1906” Dana is scared,
shocked and intrigued.INT. LIBRARY – DAY
goes to library find out more with
date she was whispered from entity.INT. MUSEUM – DAY
Turning Point: Dana wants to
understand more about Ade’s life. She visits the local museum to find
out more on vaudeville days in this town and museum worker tells
about old man?INT. 94 YEAR OLD’S HOME – DAY
vists a 94 year old in the assisted
living facility that tells some old tales he heard from his Dad.
remembers Ade. Tells of her beauty and talent- shows old playbill
with Ade’s name. Tells of death but knows it was fishy, not sure what
happened. Heard it was a jealousy. Not racial. Maybe visit a psychic.INT. LIBRARY – TALKING TO GHOSTS
SECTION ? Search for ghost talker?No help in how to contact… talk to
Ade.INT. HOTEL ROOM – DAY
Calls and cancels rest of trip.
ACT 2
New Plan: She cancels the rest of her
trip to stay at The Gem.EXT. GEM THEATER – DAY
Lies and tells guide that has decided
to stay – to do an in depth story on the theater.EXT. LIBRARY – DAY
Plan in Action: finds an article about
Ade’s death being heart failure or poison. Dana has to learn how to
communicate back.EXT. DOWNTOWN STREET – DAY
Sees old photos in store window- goes
in and sees old photos of town, finds one of vaudeville days – one
with black entertainers? One with Ade, at very back of all photos.Decides to go stay the night at the
theater.INT. GEM THEATER – DAY
Midpoint Turning Point: Ade is able to
get through and open up the time rift. Dana gladly steps in.Steels away in theater to spend the
nightINT. BACK STAGE
Dana searches back stage with
flashlight. She whispers the date out – nothing. Questioningly
whispers Ade’s name.INT. GREEN ROOM – NIGHT
Dana searches some more – whispers
the date. And now Ade’s name. Nothing. Makes sure door is closed and
turns on the light. Looks around and then stands in front of mirror.
Says Ade’s name and date the Rift appears.INT. RIFT – NIGHT
A diamond shaped water puddle on the
huge dressing room mirror shimmers at Dana. A smaller dressing room
comes into view and then Ade. Dana backs away. Ade stops her and
talks her back and steps through rift to AdeACT 3
Rethink Everything:
INT. 1906 DRESSING ROOM – NIGHT
Ade convinces Dana to follow her.
EXT. DANCEHALL-
They leave the theater and walk across
an alley way to a door at the back of a brick building and enter.INT. DANCE HALL – BACK HALLWAY –
NIGHTDana is mesmerized by the new world.
Watches dance floor with amazement-
Ade tries to push her to go into crowd- Dana says NO!Is caught. Is questionedFrantic at
first then says friend of Ade’s,INT. DANCE HALL – TABLE – NIGHT
Immediately brought in to Ade’s circle
of friends.New Plan: Ade pushes her to stay and
switch places with her. Dana has to find Ade’s killer first.Dana asking questions about Ade’s
final show- Ade whispers right behind her and tells names- makes
Dana even more legitimate. White producer at back of room.EXT. DANCE HALL – NIGHT
Dana gets nervous – wants to go back –
Ade begs to stay, this is world you love-help me into your worldINT. ADE’S ROOM – NIGHT
Ade shows her old room- desk ransacked
– and letters to white managers have been taken-Dana tells Ade she
was murderedINT. GEM THEATER- BACKSTAGE – NIGHT
Dana meets the murderer at vaudeville
show – realizes motiveTurning Point (huge failure/major
shift) Dana realizes she has to go back. Ade is ghost, cant switch
places.INT. PSYCHIC’S STUDIO – DAY
Dana meets with seer – to find out
about switching with Ade. Psychic tells her must go back – or
expire from world. Ade tells her shes lying. Psychic tell Dana her
world needs her voice heard. She can set record straight for Ade. Has
to be physical for physical. Ethereal has to move on to their
afterlife.ACT 4
Climax/Ultimate expression of the
conflict: The rift is about to close. Ade is desperate to move into
Dana’s world. Dana can’t stay.INT. ADE’S ROOM – DAY
Ade says no – don’t listen to the
psychic she’s lying – I need to go, you stay – its my turn. Ade
shows Dana how to dance. I’ve searched for the chance. It has come.
What if its not the chance you thought. Finds book of photos of Ade
and a playbill puts all together and takes it.INT. DANCE HALL – NIGHT
Dana in a crowded bar dancing –
Murderer sees Ade in Dana – He’s nervous and curious.INT. RIFT – NIGHT
Ade goes to rift and checks that still
there. (can see The Gem Main theater shimmering through the rift
diamond shaped water puddle on dressing room mirror) Tries to reach
through fingers spark and start to go through – sparking bigger she
can’t get through.INT. DANCE HALL – NIGHT
Murderer talks with Dana. How she knew
Ade. Had me listen to a few new songs. The new voice of a mixed
audience. He is disgusted – leaves her. As leaves tells white
producer to get out has no place here. Dana tells Ade’s friends to
follow her. She whispers Ade’s name to make sure she’s there.INT. DRESSING ROOM – NIGHT
Dana tells Ade’s friends how Ade was
poisoned. Ade tells story through Dana. After performance was given a
celebratory shot of whiskey – it had been poisoned. Has a plan.
(flashback-to murderer asking Ade if she still was talking to the
white guy about mixed audiences in “their” theater. “of course”
almost hands her the shot. “sure you don’t want to rethink it?”
no – hands her the shot of whiskey. They click – she drinks –
he takes shot glass – he kisses her on the cheek and leaves her in
the dressing room to die. What can we do about him. Police won’t
care. Dana has a plan.Resolution: The two women figure out
the killer, why and how. Gives Ade ability to move on and Dana
ability to live in her world stronger.INT. PSYCHIC’S STUDIO – DAY
Dana takes murderer to seer -Ade faces
murderer-shows herself. He is literally scared to death or insane.
Psychic also sees Ade this time.INT. GREEN ROOM – DAY
Ade ready to move on
INT. RIFT – DAY
Dana ready to go home, write a
biography on Ade’s short life and how she died. and live a brave life<title></title><style type=”text/css”>
</style> -
Pam’s Beat Sheet – Draft2
ACT 1: SET UP & SEE OLD WAYS
INT. BERGER HOME – DAY (Prologue)
Ten-year-old Henri Berger gets ready for school in his middle-class home, with the help of his Papi. Henri is self-conscious about the presentable but non-trendy clothes he’s wearing on his first day of school. Papi tells him “Good taste never goes out of style.”INT. SCHOOL BUS / INT. GRADE SCHOOL – DAY
On the bus, two bratty kids sit behind Young Henri. One snaps gum loudly and blows bubbles. Accidentally sneezes, and his gum flies into the back of Henri’s hair. He doesn’t say anything.INT. GRADE SCHOOL BOY’S ROOM – CONTINUOUS
Young Henri walks down the hall to homeroom, noticing some snickering, but unclear why. Young Jared catches up to him and alerts Young Henri to the “gum-in-hair” issue. Young Henri goes inside the restroom to deal with it. Using supplies from his backpack, he cuts out the gum. After some trial and error, he cuts and re-styles his hair. Holds his new ‘do in place with Elmer’s glue. He looks pretty damn good! Smiles in the mirror.EXT. RODEO DRIVE, BEVERLY HILLS – DAY (Current day – 20 years later)
30ish Henri Berger drives down Rodeo Drive in his new Mercedes convertible. California vanity plate: STYLIN. Parks. Checks himself out in the mirror before getting out of car. Heads towards entrance of the Marc Riche Salon. Avoids a man walking his golden retriever. Then enters salon.INT. MARC RICHE SALON – DAY
Opening: Henri steps into the luxuriously-appointed celebrity hair salon. Clients (Bradley & Tiffany) sipping wine. Marc Riche logo and signage everywhere you look, he even has his own line of signature hair products. Supermodel Tiffany, movie star Bradley James’ wife is reading a magazine with her own photo on the cover. Henri congratulates Bradley re: upcoming Beautiful People magazine cover. Chico the parrot spouts out a few affirmations and a movie quote? to Marc’s annoyance.Henri perfectly styles Bradley James’ hair, as Marc tries to one-up him with his over-the-top beehive style for Tiffany. Marc opens up a new box of one of his signature styling products (“Modeling Glue” — Bradley’s favorite) Shrieks when he realizes his name is misspelled on the label, and then trashes the whole case.
They all make plans to see each other at Marc’s art gallery celebrity fundraiser later in the day. Marc states (re: importance of fundraiser) “Everyone who’s Anybody will be there.” Henri sweeps and cleans up after the others leave. He shrugs and grabs the abandoned product out of trash.
INT. PAPI’S SENIOR HOME, CA – DAY
Henri stops by to visit his grandfather (Papi) after work. Brings his hair styling travel kit and styles Papi’s hair. Henri feels guilty about leaving him to go the fundraiser, and gives Papi some of the salon’s hair product as a peace offering. But Papi wants something else: wants Henri to promise he’ll join him for Movie Night at the center, for some more “family time.” Henri says nothing can keep him away.EXT. BRADLEY & TIFFANY’S HOUSE, MALIBU – NIGHT
Crime scene. Detective Kurt Stone, CSIs. Dead man’s body in entrance. Henri semi-naked in bushes.
INT. MALIBU ART GALLERY – DAY (SUPER: 6 HOURS EARLIER)
The gallery is hosting a Marc Riche salon sponsored event, a fundraiser for Malibu schools: Celebrities for Art in Education. TE1: Henri learns that Marc’s sponsorship of the event is more about “seeing and being seen” than supporting the charity. Henri begins to wonder if that’s where his life is headed.“Living Art” presentations throughout. We meet Conan King, Tiffany’s ex. He’s covered in white body paint as “The David.” Tries not to look at Tiffany. Henri’s best friend Jared (and aspiring actor) is there too. Henri helps him practice for “The Scream.”
Tiffany asks a dismayed Henri to hold her purse-size dog while she makes a wardrobe change from her Living Art display. Marc tells Henri that a new supply of Modeling Glue is available. Could he be a dear and run some out to Bradley’s house?
INT. / EXT BRADLEY & TIFFANY’S HOUSE, CA – DAY
Inciting Incident: While he’s walking up the driveway, Henri sees Bradley go inside his house and immediately get shot by a gunman. Henri hides outside, but the killer notices him when he leaves the house and goes to his car. Foot chase ensues.PLACEHOLDER – CHASE SCENES THRU NEIGHBORHOOD – DAY
Henri is wearing a bright shirt and easy to track. Henri is able to get temporarily out of sight and finds a house with a backyard pool. He strips down to his boxers and jumps in the pool, hiding out of view. Waits for bad guy to give up. Henri sees him drive off. Meanwhile, a housekeeper has grabbed his clothes. She locked the back door and leaves.EXT BRADLEY & TIFFANY’S HOUSE, CA – DAY
Henri eventually goes back to his car and calls police? They tell him to stay put. Henri doesn’t have any clothes in the car, but grabs the cape from his hair styling travel kit. Ties that around his waist and goes back up to the front of Bradley’s house, peering in window. Then hides in bushes until police arrive.INT. POLICE STATION – NIGHT
Henri sits down with a sketch artist. The killer is identified a known hitman and Henri is the key witness.INT. AIRPORT / AIRPLANE – NIGHT
Turning Point: Henri walking through airport with Det. Stone as he lays out the plan. For his protection, he’s being relocated to Vermont with a new identity, set up in a small-town salon. “Trust only Cam, your new boss. Both the hitman — and whoever hired him — are still at large.” On plane: Henri picks up the newest copy of Beautiful People magazine. Sees Bradley on the cover, named the “Sexiest Human Alive.”
ACT 2: CHALLENGE THE OLD WAYS
INT. SITTING PRETTY SALON, GREENFIELD VT – DAY
New plan: After a few awkward convo’s, Henri realizes he’s now working at a dog grooming salon. He tries to blend in, initially unsuccessful. Cam runs him through the grooming gauntlet — from de-skunking baths to anal purges. At the end of a really bad day, Cam asks Henri (now Henry Shepherd) to drop off a case of doggie shampoo to his sister, Acadia, who runs the dog shelter.INT. DOG SHELTER, VT – NIGHT
TE2: Henri realizes that Acadia is unlike the women in his former world. Genuine, totally comfortable in her own skin, and favors practicality over fashion. Henri tries to charm her and makes a fool of himself. She is slow to trust him because of a past relationship with a “pretty boy” like Henri.
HENRI’S APARTMENT, VT – NIGHT
Henri sadly looks at his laptop. He struggles with the fact that he was to be the headliner at the upcoming NYC International Hair Show. Everything’s gone to the dogs. He walks into restroom and stares in the mirror. His thought drift off to:INT. MARC RICHE SALON – DAY (FLASHBACK)
A writer from Vanity magazine interviews Henri as he styles her hair. Asks about his rise to fame.PLACEHOLDER – EARLY DAYS AT MARC RICHE SALON
Henri is an intern, doing shampoos and answering phones. Add a montage of his professional progression?INT. MARC RICHE SALON – DAY
Henri finishes the style of the Vanity mag writer. He spins her around, removes her cape, and they look in the mirror together.HENRI’S APARTMENT, VT – NIGHT (BACK TO SCENE)
Henri frowns at his reflection in mirror.INT. SITTING PRETTY SALON, GREENFIELD VT – DAY
Plan in action: Henri tries relating to dogs and their owners in ways that worked just fine in Beverly Hills, but does work at the dog salon. Some dogs have a negative reaction to Henri’s cologne and moussed up hair, so he tones both down and wears a ball cap at work.Acadia stops by. Slowly starts to trust him.
TE3: Acadia starts to fall for him when she thinks he’s a dog groomer, and not even that good of one. Doesn’t use him for his connections (like his previous girlfriend).INTERCUT SCENES – CONTRAST DOG SALON TRAINING WITH BEVERLY HILLS SALON
Cam, his new boss (and the only one who knows Henri’s true identity), trains him how to do the standard cuts for various breeds, and tells him to never deviate from the manual.MARC RICHE SALON – DAY
Luxury salon scenes. More insight into Marc. Clients call asking for Henri. Marc tells them he’s on a “long vacation,” and assures them they’ll be in good hands with him. Stuart Drake, president of the movie studio, is in the salon. Marc gets intel re: possible motives for someone to hire a hit on Bradley. Part of dialogue will be inaudible, drowned out with blow dryer (to add suspense).Conan heads into the salon. He bumps into Tiffany on way in. Awkward. Paparazzi snap pics. Marc scolds his assistant for scheduling appointments so close together. Marc casually sets Conan up to go for the lead in WILL OF THE WEST (left vacant by the now-dead Bradley), when Chico the parrot quotes from the movie.
DOG SALON, VT – DAY
More training. Once he learns, Henri fits in a little better, but is uninspired. He hates the manual.MARC RICHE SALON – DAY
Det. Stone interviews Marc about Bradley’s death, asks questions about clients of the salon (Stuart, Conan). Marc acts really reluctant to share the info. States a “Stylist-Client Confidentiality Agreement.” But then proceeds to plant dirt on Conan and Stuart.EXT. BEVERLY HILLS CEMETERY PARK – DAY
BJ’s funeral. Hitman watches from hidden location.INT. DOG SALON – DAY
TE4: Acadia casually mentions to Henri that when he styles his hair, he kind of looks like that movie star Bradley James.INT. PAPI’S SENIOR CENTER – NIGHT
Jared visits Papi on Movie Night.
TE5: Really appreciates best friend Jared more than ever. Having people in his life he can count on means the world. He’s been looking in on his Papi.HENRI’S APARTMENT, VT – NIGHT
Acadia’s comment earlier in the day, plus a scene from the original WILL OF THE WEST (Henri is watching the movie at same time as Jared and Papi) triggers the realization that he may have been the intended target of the hit. And that Marc lied, he was set up when he was sent on the errand to Bradley’s house.
Midpoint Turning Point: Everything has changed. He can never go back to the salon. His career is on the rocks. And he can’t go back to his old life until Marc’s guilt is proven.ACT 3: PROFOUND MOMENTS GIVE US NEW WAYS
Rethink everything: Henri realizes it will be hard to prove Marc’s guilt, but sets out to do so with Jared’s help. Henri is shaken that someone he worked so closely with hated him that much. How did he miss that? Meanwhile, he needs to warn Jared/Papi not to trust Marc. They could be in grave danger as Marc and the hitman try to find his hiding location. He asks Jared to be his eyes and ears back in CA.EXT. PARK, VT – DAY
New plan: While he works daily on outing Marc’s crime, he makes the best of his life in Vermont. Henri invites Acadia on a picnic. They grow closer (to Cam’s dismay), and they work together on plans for a Doggie Adoption Fair in the park.INT. DOG SALON – DAY
TE6: Henri has his first creative breakthrough at the dog salon when he gives a Jack Russell Terrier a Mohawk, despite the initial dismay from Cam. This starts an Owner/Pet matching-hairdo trend that becomes a popular request in the salon.Henri gets a panicked call from Acadia, one of the more “unattractive-looking” shelter dogs keeps getting passed over for adoption. Henri does some research into new grooming techniques that are possible.
INT. DOG SHELTER – NIGHT
TE7: He can see the hurt in the dog’s eyes. Henri brings his styling kit and comes to the rescue. Surprises himself with the transformation he’s able to accomplish, once he gets to know the dog and really “see” him.INT. DOG SALON – DAY
Henri shows Cam the amazing scissoring techniques that transform even the most unsightly dogs into adorable mutts. Cam is impressed, and wants to learn more, include in their services.
TE8: Henri sees how proud Cam is of his dog salon and the genuine bond he has with his clients. Even when business levels were down. Success has nothing to do with luxury or an “it” crowd.Cam’s business is now booming with new services added. As he updates the website, he accidentally posts a video that has Henri’s voice in the background.
HENRI’S APARTMENT, VT – NIGHT/DAY
Henri and Acadia continue to get closer as they work together on the Dog Adoption Fair. She spends the night at Henri’s. Next morning, she leaves to get ready for the fair.
Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift: Back in CA, supermodel/widow Tiffany is in the Marc Riche salon and amuses herself with some doggie hairstyle videos that have gone viral. She and Marc both realize at the same time that the voice is Henri. His cover is blown.
ACT 4: TEST THE CHANGE IN CHARACTER. PROVE NEW WAYS!
Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict:
EXT. PARK – DAY
Everything is going well at the fair until Henri learns that he’s been discovered. The hitman & henchmen are likely on way to Vermont. The police and Jared show up. No sign of bad guys yet. Mysterious person in a dog suit. Acadia and her dog Hank get kidnapped.PLACEHOLDER – EPIC BATTLE SCENE
Bad guys get defeated at the fair by Henri’s team (Cam, Jared and Henri), in a David & Goliath-inspired battle. While they police follow a false lead, Henri’s team uses dog toys as impromptu weapons, whipping rock-hard dog biscuits at thugs’ heads with Chuck-its, etc. They use talking balls as a distraction.Henri saves her and tells her the truth about who he is, but it’s too late. She is terribly hurt. He vows to make it up to her, but must leave for NYC to confront Marc, who is now the headliner for the NYC International Hair Show.
EXT. TIMES SQUARE – NIGHT
Marc’s big head is shown on the Hair Show ad in Times Square.INT. HOTEL – NIGHT
Resolution: Marc has been leaked false info re: Henri’s death.
Marc is on stage, preparing to do a hair product and styling demo. Tiffany is in the audience, Henri hides behind her. Marc asks for a volunteer. Tiffany steps aside, and out pops Henri.
TE9: An epic battle ensues on stage, with Henri the victor. Marc arrested.DOG SHELTER, VT – DAY
Henri returns to Vermont. Begs Acadia’s forgiveness. Hopes that Cam will give
him his old job back. TE10: Henri adopts the un-adoptable mutt.
They file into his Subaru, with plans to go on a walk in the park together.Final surprise: Papi is in the car too. They drive away in Henri’s used Subaru,
now with a Vermont vanity plate “STYLIN -
Anna’s Beat Sheet Part II
What I learned doing this assignment: adding the villain’s motivations helped fill in some of those gaping plot holes. Still a lot of holes, though….
Note: I’m not going to post my script in a public forum.
-
EUGENE’S BEAT SHEET DRAFT 2
What I learned doing this assignment is that adding the Theme and the Antagonists to the Beat Sheet adds another dimension to the storyline.
ACT 1:
The Opening:
EXT. OUTDOOR ARENA – L.A. – NIGHT
TE 1: Candidate Lee gives his first major Speech to a huge, adoring audience in Los Angeles, California. Celeste his Vice Presidential Running Mate is proud to realize she has made Patrick Lee an effective public speaker. She has bolstered his confidence by telling him that she believes in him and she can wait 8 years to be President of the U.S.
INT. CITY HALL – L.A. – DAY
Patrick and Celeste are discussing with Los Angeles City Officials their plans to eliminate Skid Row from the City and transport all the homeless to Angel City, a new planned community within the City of L.A.
Inciting Incident:
EXT. EMPTY LOT – L.A. – DAY
We realize that Patrick is not joking, he is intent on solving problems while he is running for office, he is not waiting to occupy the White House before putting his ideas into action. We realize with his challenges of being legally blind and autistic, he would not be able to accomplish these amazing tasks without the help of the charismatic aura and political savvy of Celeste.
They break ground on Angel City, which, to the amazement of L.A. Officials, is completed in 7 days.
PLACEHOLDER: This can be a Montage of Scenes to emphasize the speed of the manufacture of the city.
PLACEHOLDER: The Democratic and Republican Nominees react to this unbelievable miracle performed in a week’s time by the Solution Candidate. They attact his naivete and the fact that he is more involved with his own nation of Oberoende, the micro-nation that he is already President of. That his loyalty would be divided between Oberoende and the U.S., with the U.S. coming in 2nd.
Turning Point:
EXT. ANGEL CITY – ONE WEEK LATER – DAY
Seco BrightCloud is arrested on the spot while working in Angel City.
ACT 2:
New Plan:
INT. OBEROENDE – PATRICK’S CAMPAIGN HEADQUARTERS – 2ND FLOOR – L.A. – DAY
We are in a Live & Work condo that Patrick has decorated like another country. It is more than his castle, it is his nation, a nation within a nation. From within this micro-nation he plans to change the U.S. They are meeting to discuss “why” Seco has been arrested and how they can get him out of jail.
INT. L.A. JAIL – DAY
TE 2: After trying to get Seco out of jail, Patrick and Celeste decide to visit a mental patient in a local asylum.
INT. MENTAL INSTITUTION – L.A. – DAY
TE 3: Patrick with the help of Celeste interviews the mental patient about Seco’s arrest and finds out how the other candidates are effectively targeting and attacking his campaign.
INT. LOCAL NEWS ROOM – L.A. – NIGHT
The Newcaster explains that apparently the mental patient had been talked into and perhaps even bribed to give testimony to implicate Seco and Patrick’s campaign team in a planned assassination attempt.
EXT. JAIL – L.A. – DAY
As the mental patient has retracted his claims against Seco, he is released from jail and is welcomed by other members of the campaign team.
PLACEHOLDER: Angel City has turning out to be very successful in alleviating L.A.’s homeless problem. So much so that…
PLACEHOLDER: The State of California contacts Patrick Lee to develop a plan for a “Border City” to possibly help California’s border problem.
Plan In Action:
EXT. BORDER CITY – U.S./MEXICAN BORDER – SOUTHERN CALIF. – DAY
Again construction goes on at California’s Southern border and through a series of Montages “Border City” becomes a reality.
INT. OBEROENDE – PATRICK’S CAMPAIGN OFFICE – L.A. – DAY
Celeste is training Patrick for an upcoming Presidential Debate. She emphasizing how they will attack him and he is practicing how he will deflect their attacks.
INT. DEBATE STAGE – UNDETERMINED CITY – NIGHT
Patrick manages to get through the debate without having any kind of direct confrontation with the two major party candidates. He plays a game of verbal Aikido throwing them off guard as he makes positive statements that emphasize solutions. He challenges them to implement solutions to problems using their campaign donations, as he is doing.
Midpoint Turning Point:
INT. DEBATE – BACKSTAGE – NIGHT
After the Debate Patrick is backstage trying to field questions from the press with the help of Celeste when he is arrested for income tax evasion.
ACT 3
PLACEHOLDER: Celeste finds out that Patrick’s old girlfriend, Barb, has turned him in to the IRS for possible income tax violations in the past preparation of his clients taxes, when he was a CPA.
TE 4:
PLACEHOLDER: Celeste tracks down Barb and confronts her with her allegations. Barb is intractable and accuses Celeste of using Patrick for her own political goals. This hurts Celeste to the bone.
New Plan:
INT. FEDERAL DETENTION CENTER – DAY
Celeste visits Patrick, who is behind bars and extremely depressed. Celeste tells him who turned him in and Patrick admits that he still loves Barb and she wants revenge against him, but he didn’t do anything wrong. Still, he feels it is impossible to campaign while behind bars and Celeste tells him not to worry, the campaign will continue, and he will “win.”
Turning Point:
PLACEHOLDER: The major Candidates are really taking advantage of Patrick’s legal situation. They are saying with these legal problems he should immediately suspend his campaign.
Act 4:
TE 5:
PLACEHOLDER: Montage of Celeste on the Campaign Trail, making unbelievably powerful and moving speeches to audiences both on multi-media and in person. She is obviously keeping Patrick’s followers believing he still can win and are ready to write in Patrick Lee and Celeste SeedlingSun when they go to the polls.
PLACEHOLDER:
Patrick goes over the figures with the IRS and it is proven that everything he did in his income tax preparation was within the law.
Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict:
PLACEHOLDER:
The Presidential election takes place and all the news networks are covering it. It is a nail-biter and when the counting is finally over Patrick Lee and Celeste have won the popular vote and Patrick has a huge advantage in the Electoral College, but not a majority.
PLACEHOLDER:
The Republican and Democratic Candidates still feel they have a chance as the Electoral College has thrown the election decision into the Congress, which is, for the most part, Democrats and Republicans. There is no Solution Party.
INT. HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES – DAY/NIGHT (MONTAGE)
The House must vote for President and after a lot of infighting, there is finally a vote, which ends in a deadlock.
INT. U.S. SENATE – NIGHT
The Democratic Senate must decide Vice President. Celeste SeedlingSun amazingly wins the Vice Presidency on the first ballot by one vote.
PLACEHOLDER:
MONTAGE: The house over the next two month has several more votes, but still no candidate has a majority.
Resolution:
EXT. INAUGURAL STAGE – WASHINGTON D.C. – DAY
TE 6:
On Inauguration Day, there is still no clear winner in the House Vote for President, so Celeste SeedlingSun takes the Presidential Oath of Office, and makes an inspired Inaugural Speech as the First Native American President of the U.S.
-
LESSON 9 first scene introducing Travis
What I learned: I am feeling a little stressed due to personal schedule. I’m learning to write fast.
Scene INT TRAVIS HARVELLE’S KITCHEN DAY
Travis grabs three water bottles, a vegetable tray and a plastic container of prepared sandwiches from refrigerator and places them in a soft thermal cooler. He packs a bag of potato chips in a plastic bag and walks out the back door to the dock where his party barge is waiting.
Scene EXT. CHERRY LAKE – TRAVIS’ PARTY BARGE DAY
Travis’ two guests come around the house and follow him to the barge. Travis lays out the snacks.
TRAVIS
I’m glad you could make it today, JJ. I’m leaving for a Christmas holiday with the family tomorrow and I wanted to discuss the renovations with you before I left.
SYDNEE
When JJ said we were coming out to the lake for a ride, I was so happy. Thanks for the invitation. Tell me, where are you going for the holidays?
TRAVIS
Have a snack, Guys. Mother arranged for us to celebrate Christmas in Vermont. It’s weird.
The party barge leaves the dock.
JJ
What’s weird about that? Vermont is beautiful at Christmas. I’ve seen pictures.
TRAVIS
My family always celebrates Christmas for a week in Orlando. And my mom and sister, Marty, don’t like cold weather. Any temperature less than fifty-five degrees is freezing to them.
JJ
Do they know how cold it gets in Vermont at Christmas?
TRAVIS
I told them. There is another reason I don’t’ want to go. I was married there at the same hotel where we are staying, five years ago this Christmas. Becca divorced me a year later.
Sydnee
That’s a little crazy. If you change your mind about going, you can spend the holidays with us
at Wildflowers B & B. We have enough room for you.
TRAVIS
Mom has called me every night this week to make sure I get on the train tomorrow. I don’t know what Mom has planned, but it better be something better than the last time I went there.
JJ
Well, if it gets too bad, sped the day outside. Your family won’t be here. They’ll be by the fire. Margo told me you take this boat ride every day at 5:00PM.
TRAVIS
Yeah. I ride and relax. Play Jake Jones music or special holiday music for the people who live on the lake. I think about all my family and friends who are driving home in Orlando traffic on I-4, bumper to bumper. It takes an hour to get home, with all the horns blowing and cars stopped for wrecks. Sometimes I pause on the lake and say thanks for living in Madison County.
JJ
This is a peaceful place. Look people are coming out of their homes and are waving at us.
SYDNEE
I feel like I am the Queen of England as I greet my minions. This is fun.
TRAVIS
The family who lives in that big brick home had a wedding on the lawn. I drove around the lake that day and played the Love Boat theme. The bride and groom loved it.
SYDNEE
That sounds so sweet. So you are a romantic at heart.
TRAVIS
Sure. Just not with Becca.
Introducing antagonist, Jake Jones, and secondary character (Annabelle)
Scene 2 INT JACKSONVILLE FLORIDA DAY
Liz Bradford is rushing to catch the train to Vermont. She is running late but comes to a halt when she hears Jake Jones singing a Christmas song over the loud speaker. A gentleman runs into her. She drops all her packages, phone. He helps her retrieve her things and she rushes forward. She runs into a Christmas Elf when she shifts her packages, knocks the elf down. It is plastic. A housekeeper assists her in gathering her things and placing the Christmas Elf in an upright position.
Phone rings.
Split screen phone call
LIZ
Hello, Mother. I really don’t have time. I just arrived at the station and I’m trying to get on the train. Is there a problem?
ANNABELLE
I was hoping you were already in your cabin, Dear.
LIZ
Mother, what is wrong. I can tell in your voice.
ANNABELLE
The entertainment duo for the lounge called. They cancelled.
LIZ
They can’t do that. They are under contract.
ANNABELLE
They are both homebound sick with the flu.
LIZ
Don’t worry. I will check my contact list and get somebody.
SCENE INT ANNABELLE’S OFFICE DAY
Jake Jones walks into Annabelle’s office. The country music star is home for the holidays. Annabelle sees the solution to her problem.
SPLIT SCREEN on phone
ANNABELLE
(waving Jake to enter her office) Sweetheart, don’t worry. I think I may have the answer to our problem.
LIZ
Mom, what are you thinking? Please wait until I get on the train. I can handle this.
ANNABELLE
Don’t miss the train. We will talk later. Bye, Love.
LIZ
Oh, no. What is she doing now, I wonder?
Over the loud speaker: “ All Aboard”
LIZ
I can’t worry about it now.
ANNABELLE
Jake, have a seat. Welcome home to Wellington and the Bradford Inn.
JAKE
Hello, Ms. Annabelle, it’s good to be home. Is Lizzy around today?
ANNABELLE
She’s getting on the train to come home. Will arrive some time tomorrow.
JAKE
I want to see her. I made a mistake and I need to apologize to her. I tried to talk to her last Christmas, but I could never catch up with her.
ANNABELLE
I’m glad to hear that, Jake. I believe she will want to talk to you, too. Liz is VP of Marketing now. She is a key employee here. How is the music business? I hear you are making big bucks.
JAKE
Going great. I have five new songs ready to record in the new year. My agent thinks this may be my biggest album yet.
ANNABELLE
How would you like to debut those new songs on our stage? Our holiday performers are sick with the flu. I need an act for the lounge for four days.
JAKE
I will be happy to perform for you. Let’s sign the contracts and we’ll be set. I’ll pack that lounge
every night. Tell Sam to order lots of tickets.
-
Subject line: (Mary Ellevold) Beat Sheet Draft 2 Lesson 8
“What I learned doing this assignment is…This is getting easier, but a lot of work to weave antagonist & protagonist together”
LESSON 7 &8 HOMEWORK -STEPS
ACT 1
EXT: JON’S APT.
Opening-BIRDS ON A WIRE. KAT IN A KAT SUIT SNEAKS INTO
JON’S APARTMENT AND LEAVES A BASKET.INT. JON’S APT
INTRO: BOB & JON & GERBIE. PHONE CALL- A KITTY IN A TREE.
EXT. JON’S PARKING LOT
Inciting Incident- BIRDS POOP BOMB THE CAR, HE GETS
STUCK IN CARWASH. CALLS KAT
TO TAKE OVER;
GOD’S WRATH VS KAT’S WRATH -THEME
JON HEARS RADIO PHOBIA DOCTOR & CALLSEXT: BIG TREE
INT. PSYCH OFFICE -DAY
PSYCH DOC ON VACATION, JANITOR, PICKS UP PHONE DECIDES TO MAKE MONEY.
JON AGREES TO INDIV THERAPY; GET STUCK IN ELEVATOR
Turning Point-CAT ATTACK AT PHOBIA DOCTOR’S, BAND AID
APPROACH
ADD KAT CALL PSYCH-GET INTO GROUP THERAPYAct 2:
New plan-GROUP THERAPY INCLUDES HIS EX, KAT; AND
PLAN-HE MUST FACE HIS FEAR OF ANIMALS – ZOOPHOBIA;
Plan in action-DIAGNOSIS, VIRTUOREALITY,(KAT
CONTROLS) AND COUNTER CONDITIONING-
INTRO DOUG THE BUG, PSYCH, BOB, NANA
INTRO PHOBIA BOOK, MOTTOS
DOG ATTACK IN THE NEWS
Midpoint Turning Point-GO TO PETSHOPPE TO FACE FEARS, (KAT
SABOTAGES0 JON GETS ARRESTED
ADD THEME: GOD’S WRATH VS KAT’S WRATHAct 3:
FORGET THERAPY, KAT TAKES HIM TO COURT TO GET COMPANY,
AND JUDGE ORDERS TO CONTINUE THERAPY
New plan- COUNTERCONDITIONING AT AQUARIUM- KAT CHANGES
SIGNS, SHARK & EEL ATTACK BUT KAT RESCUES-ADD BOB FINDS OUT SO KAT HAS
TO.
Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift- THE PARTY- NOT
INVITED BUT JON BONDS WITH BOB. BOB
FINDS OUT ABOUT KATTHE PHONE CALL -TOILET STUCK, JON FULL OF CRAP. ADD KAT
DISAPPOINTED, NOT A WORTHY OPPONENT, CAT & MOUSE
ADD THEME: GOD’S WRATH VS KAT’S WRATH
Act 4:
Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict-
COUNTERCONDITIONING AT THE ZOO
KAT PLANS ATTACK, THEN TRIES TO STOP IT
BIRDS ATTACK, SECRET WEAPON #7 REVEALED,
ADD THEME: GOD’S WRATH VS KAT’S WRATH CHANGED FROM JON
TO DOUG THE BUGResolution- DOUG THE BUG ADMITS HE PUSHED KAT AS KID, KAT
TRIES TO STOP, & JON DIVES IN WATER TO RESCUE BOB, PERFUME
WASHES OFF, ANIMALS QUIT CHASING.
JON GIVES FAKE PSYCH SOAP; -
Aline’s Beat Sheet #2
Again- that motivational recording makes all the difference in my accomplishing the exercise!
I was getting ahead of myself thinking of how the antagonist also had events that involved the turning points in each act and I was happy to see my instincts were right. It made me feel confident in my overall understanding of the process. The theme hit me hard as extremely personal in my life even though the plot itself is totally fictional.
I learned to be add pieces that are solid to move the story forward and to keep detailed accounts in separate files to help me visualize the skeleton of the story first. The theme helped me find the heart of the characters motivations.
Will start just keeping my work to myself unless someone asks to see and give feedback. Thank you!
-
John T’s Beat Sheet Draft 2
What I learned doing this assignment is that there’s room for more antagonist involvement in the story. Still room for more discovery, too.
Act 1:
INT. DINING ROOM – NIGHT
Opening – Rod embarrasses Clare at a dinner party, chastising her for being self-absorbed and closed off. A friend mentions that a new weekend retreat called Discovery Island involving robotic clones sounds interesting. Guests spend the weekend getting to know themselves by interacting with their cyborg twins.
INT. APARTMENT – DAY
TE 1: Clare helps a wounded bird fly away.
INT. CLARE’S OFFICE – DAY
TE 3: Clare asks her boss for a raise. He laughs it off. After Clare eyes an anti-harassment poster in the break room, she witnesses a colleague being sexually harassed. The poster ends up on his desk with the added words, “This means you.”
EXT. PARK – DAY
Inciting Incident – During an argument, Rod insists that Clare go with him on a self-encounter weekend at Discovery Island or else he’ll end their relationship. That scares the hell out of her so she agrees to go. Rod insists he’s doing this for her.
INT. CLARE’S MOTHER’S HOUSE – DAY
This is kind of a round-down house in a declining neighborhood. Clare helps her mother with her monthly bills.
TE 2: Clare tells her mother about her plans to go with Rod on a weekend encounter. Her mother disapproves. Clare counters with the abuse her mother put up with from her father. Her mother agrees that Clare needs to be true to herself and adds, “I see the signs, don’t make the same mistake.”
EXT. BIOLOGICAL MAPPING FACILITY – DAY
Rod and Clare get scanned. Clare asks a lot of questions about the cyborgs. Clearly, she’s worried.
INT. APARTMENT – NIGHT
TE 4: Clare gets lost in a book about riddles and codes. Rod instructs her about their impending trip, condescendingly.
INT. AIRPLANE – DAY
Rod orders a drink for Clare without asking her. Tells her how to sit. Clare learns that the final leg of their journey is aboard a helicopter. Clare is terrified of heights. Rod explains there is no runway on Discovery Island. Clare panics.
EXT. HELIPORT – DAY
Clare fights her fear of heights. Musters courage. Rod laughs.
INT./EXT. HELICOPTER – DAY
The helicopter almost crashes but everyone is safe. The helicopter is down for repairs. Everyone must stay a bit longer than the weekend. No worries, everything is comped. Clare regrets ever having agreed to come.
Act 2:
INT. DI MAIN MEETING ROOM – DAY
The guests are welcomed, meet the professor who explains the plan. Assistants in white coats explain the rules, showcase the amenities. This is a 5-star resort. The play a video:
“Discover Island, where humans interact with their cyborg twins, a metallic match of mind and body, and thus help our guests grow by knowing themselves. Our advanced cyborgs are nearly indistinguishable from their human counterparts.”
Dr. Rowen adds, “The goal of the game is to be honest with yourself. Points are awarded for insight, cleverness, and brutal honesty.”
Technicians adds an interesting caveat – the cyborgs can’t recall memories not present during mapping, such as repressed memories or significant events imprinted after mapping. Don’t try to trick your cyborg because you’ll get back as good as you give. If you’re prone to cheating, your cyborg will cheat. If you tell an occasional white lie, your cyborg will mimic that as well. If you’re mean and cruel, your cyborg will give you a taste of your own medicine. But don’t worry, the worst that can happen is you lose a few points.
As a bonus, the person with the most points at the end of the weekend wins $ 50000. Good luck everyone. The key is to be honest with yourself. A lot of murmurs. Dr Forester: “Folks, this is for your benefit. It is much better to deal with your issues here in a clean and safe environment. You’ll learn a lot about yourself, so please remember, you’ll get out of it what you put into it.”
INT. DINING ROOM – NIGHT
Rod tells the people at their table how scared Clare was in the helicopter. He acts like he knew all would be fine. But we remember Rod being just as terrified.
INT. SMALL MEETING ROOM – DAY
Group discussions then everyone meets their cyborg. Everyone is fascinated, immediately start talking to their twins. Clare is extremely hesitant. It’s all too weird.
INT. CLARE’S ENCOUNTER ROOM – DAY
A facilitator presides over the first individual human/cyborg exchange. Clare sucks at the encounters, won’t share with her cyborg or with the group. Clare doesn’t trust her cyborg, dubbed C2.
However, unlike all the others, she excels at encounter challenges and starts earning points.
INT. ROD’S ENCOUNTER ROOM – DAY
Rod has finally met his match in bravado. His twin is the same type of blowhard.
INT. LUNCH ROOM – DAY
Rod constantly embarrasses Clare in front of the group, something that upsets her greatly.
EXT. CYBORG CHARGING ROOM – DAY
The cyborgs get recharged side by side.
INT. ENCOUNTER ROOM – DAY
TE 5: Clare draws even with her cyborg in a game of Know Thyself. She uses her creativity to extricate herself from an AR game involving a type of hologram of chess pieces who use archery and knives. Clare quickly masters the game. She notices that there are a few ways to distinguish the robots from the humans: smiling too quickly, sudden jerks of the head, a bit too polite, looking away when computing.
INT. GROUP ROOM – DAY
TE 6: Clare suffers a humiliating defeat after Rod tells the whole group how she freaked on her first encounter. Clare has had enough and decides to leave the island.
INT. HELICOPTER HANGAR – NIGHT
Clare plans her escape with the helicopter pilot who’s repairing the bird. She offers to pay. He tells her it’s almost ready but a storm is approaching. They can’t leave until it passes.
INT. MEETING ROOM – DAY
Clare decides to ignore the mean guests and be friends with a nice guest, EMILY.
Midpoint Turning Point: A storm takes out the central computer.
EXT. RESORT BEACHFRONT – NIGHT
The storm pounds the beach. Lightning strikes the central computer complex. It fries the central control board.
INT. CYBORG HOUSING FACILITY – NIGHT
The cyborgs all shut down.
INT. CENTRAL CONTROL ROOM – DAY
Doctor Cornwall and his assistant decide what to do. They will let the cyborgs self-repair which is the quickest way to come back online.
INT. CYBORG COMPLEX – DAY
The cyborgs come back to life but with red menacing eyes. When the assistant attempts to shut them down, they kill him.
INT. MAIN MEETING ROOM – DAY
Everyone, including the doctor, thinks everything is alright when the cyborgs arrive for their daily encounter. He explains that the red eyes just mean they’ve in alternate mode and now there’s no mistaking them. Everyone adjourns to their respective encounter rooms. The cyborgs are all smiles.
Act 3:
Rethink everything – Each person’s cyborg is a reflection of themselves. Kindness begets kindness but some guests are getting their asses kicked in varied and painful ways. Cruelty begets cruelty. –- the cyborgs know their humans all too well.
PLACEHOLDER: Various bad experiences as guests learn the ugly truth and get zapped by their cyborgs when giving the wrong answer. Social order quickly breaks down.
PLACEHOLDER: A guest is killed when he tries to shut down his cyborg. The cyborg concluded that the guest was trying to terminate him. Violence begets equal violence. Terror reigns on the island.
INT. ROD’S ROOM – DAY
Rod quickly crumbles when challenged by his domineering cyborg and decides to make a run for it.
PLACEHOLDER – Several guests run and hide on the island. Some take the small sailboats but are quickly pursued by their cyborgs.
INT. CLARE’S ROOM – DAY
After a few shocks, Clare realizes that she must vanquish her cyborg twin in order to survive and the only way to do that is to challenge it with something it doesn’t know. She buys time by preoccupying her cyborg with diversionary riddles while probing her cyborg for helpful hints and using analytical skills to gain a tactical advantage.
Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift
EXT. RESORT GROUNDS – DAY
People are hiding, some are caught and punished. Some are killed. The people in the boats are overtaken by the cyborgs. They drown their human counterparts in an effort to teach them “water safety.”
INT. CLARE’S ROOM – DAY
Clare has exhausted her tactics and decides to escape to the hills. She dashes out the door. C2 smiles.
EXT. ISLAND HILLS – DAY
Clare climbs up a hill but is trapped – C2 moves in for the final quiz! Clare must step up with all she can muster. She uses logic to match wits with C2 and gets it to reveal how she can partially disable it if she scores a few victories. If she loses, the cyborg gets to disable (break) a limb. Clare uses her wins to slowly disable C2. It’s down to one leg, then one arm, but C2 still pursues her up the cliff.
PLACEHOLDER – We see Rod is not doing so well but he’s found a good hiding place. He’s discovered something the helps him survive – ratting out the location of the other guests wins him points.
Act 4:
Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict –
EXT. TOP OF THE HILL – DAY
Clare’s cyborg has her trapped. Clare tricks it into revealing how the robots can be shut down at the main computer center. C2 taunts Clare with memory questions Clare has long forgotten. Clare racks her brain for something she can use against the advancing cyborg, something that only she can remember but that she has run away from her whole life – a repressed memory, the one thing unknown to her cyborg.
EXT. EDGE OF THE CLIFF – DAY
The battle of wits has Clare on the edge of the cliff looking down on the rocks. This is her last chance. Clare thinks, resurrects the repressed memory of her sexual abuse at the hands of her Uncle Henry and immediately quizzes her cyborg about a particularly dreadful encounter with “Henry the clown.”
The cyborg doesn’t know the answer, and Clare requires it to disable its other leg. Clare kicks it off the cliff and yells, “I’m done with you!”
Clare watches it smash apart on the rocks below.
EXT. ISLAND OUTSKIRTS – DAY
Several cyborgs close in on their victims.
EXT. CENTRAL CORE ROOM – DAY
Clare kicks open the door, puts in the code and shuts down the whole system. Just in time. The professor thanks her as he dies from a wound inflicted by a cyborg in preservation mode.
INT. CENTRAL MEETING ROOM – DAY
Clare sees Rod hiding under a table, whimpering in a fetal position. He begs her to save him. Clare responds with his favorite taunt he used against her when she tried to express her true feelings: “Oh, Rod, get over yourself.”
Resolution –
EXT. HELICOPTER PAD – DAY
Clare helps others climb aboard then she hops on. Helicopter takes off.
INT LAWYERS OFFICE -DAY
Clare learns that she won the resort’s $50,000 prize for “Inward Honesty” and is also awarded $5 million for pain and suffering by management. Her life is now her own.
INT. CLARE’S MOTHER’S NEW HOUSE – DAY
Clare helps her mother move into a new home in a nicer neighborhood.
-
SCREENWRITING HOMEWORK 8
Jon’s Beat Sheet Draft 2
What I learned doing this assignment is… I learned that I do a lot of what Ive learned in this lesson naturally, but I have to convert to doing it methodically.
THEME: A broken family’s grave need for a paradigm change, both as a group and individually. Each of the main characters is reaching out for help and for the change that will finally bring them true happiness and bring real meaning to their lives.
Antagonist’s Beats:
Detective volunteers for habitat for humanity
Detective tries to avoid Judge Jones’s pressure to change jobs
Detective snoops around Callahan’s crime scene
He watches Callahan taken off to jail
Detective questions Callahan in jail
Detective meets Chance at Habitat volunteering
He shares disdain with his job
He talks dreams and realize they have similar dreams
He jokingly makes a plan to leave the city and build on a lake
He is amazed at their similarities
He gives Chance his building manual
Detective Begins Investigating the crime spree
He calls Judge Jones and asks him to look into Judge Dreyfus
Judge pressures him again about switch to the judicial side of justice
Detective makes Judge think he’s right about changing jobs but he is thinking about homebuilding
Detective’s stakeouts get him closer and closer to the crook
He is outsmarted by the crook thanks to Carolina’s help
Detective snoops around Callahan’s court proceedings
Judge calls detective to thank him for the Dreyfus tip and tries to grill him
Detective tells Judge Jones that the law sometimes needs a lil help to get to justice
Detective and Mom show their bond and a bit of who they are personally
He has proposed to his girlfriend and he’s a mommas boy
PLACEHOLDER: need to learn moms potential power here
Detective finally catches the crook and its Chance
PLACEHOLDER: when and why does he reveal all he knows about being family
Detective visits Callahan in jail for more questions, tells him about Chance, promises to help
Squeezes Callahan’s hand. They have history, is it revealed now?
PLACEHOLDER: when and why does he reveal it and how does that fit in Chances journey
He hugs his dad for the first time in a while at the mistrial
He whispers that his mom is working on getting Chance out of jail
He escorts Chance out of jail
Detective snatches sold sign out of ground triumphantly
He and his brother over look the halfway done lakeside home dream together
He watches as his mom is healed a bit along with Chances’s mom AND the whole family
4 Act Structure
Act 1:
A Opening
(Montage: The beginning of the day for main characters)
INT. BUS – MORNING
TE 1 Chance sees homestead billboard on the way to law school
EXT. URBAN HOME CONSTRUCTION SITE – CONTINUOUS
Detective volunteers for habitat for humanity
INT. CALAHAN LAW OFFICE CONFERENCE ROOM – CONTINUOUS
Dad lectures young lawyers in his office on power of details
INT. CALAHAN HOME – CONTINUOUS
Fiancé gets kids off to school on her way to work EXHAUSTED but COMMITTED
INT. CALAHAN KITCHEN – CONTINUOUS
Retired Mom sips her coffee and slides her a few dollars and a coffee to go THEN fires up a cig
EXT. LAW SCHOOL CAMPUS – CONTINUOUS
Chance urgently traverses the school campus…surveying it like he taking it all in
EXT. COURTHOUSE STEPS – CONTINUOUS
Detective tries to sneak by Judge Jones (you ignoring me?) SMDH
INT. LAW SCHOOL HALLWAY – CONTINUOUS
Chance walks the hallways at school to a locker and empties it
Suddenly summoned into and admin office by the school dean
INT. DEANS OFFICE – CONTINUOUS
TE 2 Dean Johnson lectures him about needing successful kids like him in the community
B Inciting Incident
EXT. LAW SCHOOL HALLWAY – CONTINUOUS
Chance quits college
INT. DEANS OFFICE – CONTINUOUS
Returns for his mechanics manual
Chance now has a secret to hide
INT. CALAHAN HOME – LATE AFTERNOON
TE 3 Fiancé confronts him when he leaves kid alone to to go on job interview
EXT. AUTO SHOP – AFTERNOON
Busy high volume day
EXT. AUTO SHOP BAY – AFTERNOON
Gets a job fixing cars
C Turning Point 1
INT. CALAHAN HOME – LATENIGHT
Dad kills a home invader
EXT. CALAHAN HOME – LATENIGHT
Police arrives as Dad exits home
INT. CALAHAN HOME – LATENIGHT
Dad goes to jail
EXT. CALAHAN HOME – LATENIGHT
He see Dad ride off in a police cruiser as he heads for his car
Act 2:
A New plan
PLACEHOLDER: good place to montage and feel the weight of things
INT. CALAHAN HOME – MORNING
Chance promises his Mom he’ll take care of them
Carolina seems unsure of it
INT. AUTO SHOP BAY – AFTERNOON
Chance works harder at work but the money isn’t enough
EXT. CALAHAN PORCH – NIGHT
TE 4 Fiancé wants a better life and leaves with the kid
He has a rage filled outburst
TE 5 Mom calms him, takes him to the far end of the porch
He breaks down as mom tells him about his grandfather the carpenter – built this house
EXT. PRISON – DAY
Lots of inmate activity
INT. CELL BLOCK – CONTINUOUS
Feet walking down auster corridor
INT. HOLDING ROOM
Detective questions Callahan in jail
B Plan in Action
EXT. COMMERCIAL CONSTRUCTION SITE – NIGHT
Chance has just landed a day worker job
A construction Bell rings
A prison horn sounds
INT. PRISON VISITOR CENTER – DAY
Chance visits dad in jail
Guard says, he says looks like the same guy from last visit
They both face the emotions they were pushing down
PLACEHOLDER: need to see how dads situation is effecting chance
is he scared, resentful, too busy or is he keeping busy so as not to face it
maybe dad tells him to focus on work and hold things till he figures it out
maybe dad hint to a hidden plan he has
dad could motivate him to work even harder
believe in himself (transcend the lazy past)
PLACEHOLDER: montage
Working the 2 jobs
We see how hard the work is
TE 8 He studies homebuilding in the little free time he has…
He stops reading and stashes a wad of cash inside book
Working the 2 jobs more
TE 7 Chances jobs starting to pay off savings is growing
The book is too fat…he has to find a new place for it
We begin to see his excitement
He pulls a new tool belt from a hardware store bag and puts it on
He sees a slightly different person in the mirror
How does he feel about the person? Disappointment, Fear of him failing, surprisingly proud?
EXT. URBAN HOME CONSTRUCTION SITE – EARLY MORNING
TE 9 Chance volunteers at Habitat to learn to build a house
We see he got skills now
Meets the Detective
TE 10 They both share their disdain with their jobs
TE 11 They talk dreams and realize they are similar dreams
TE 12 They jokingly make a plan to leave the city and build on a lake
They are amazed at similarities
TE 13 Detective gives him his building manual
C Turning Point 2. (MIDPOINT)
INT. AUTO SHOP FRONT OFFICE – EVENING
Chance gets fired for moonlighting the same day his night job gets stopped by the city inspector
EXT. COMMERCIAL CONSTRUCTION SITE – NIGHT
As Chance walks onto site, many workers walk off site and towards him
He threads his way to an exception sign that says STOP WORK IMMEDIATELY
Someone tells him as they walk by that it’ll be a month or two
Payroll is held up too…no checks anytime soon…some kind of investigation?
Act 3:
A Rethink everything
INT. CALAHAN GARAGE – NIGHT
Chance finds and loads his dad’s handgun
PLACEHOLDER:
Chance becomes a crook
Robbing, Stealing, Fencing, Scamming
PLACEHOLDER:
TE 14 Savings skyrockets
PLACEHOLDER:
Detective Begins Investigating the crime spree
EXT. URBAN NEIGHBORHOOD – DAY
TE 15 Between crimes… He helps an elderly man on a ladder fix his windows
INT. BODEGA – EVENING
TE 16 Between crimes… When he sees a woman neighbor buy cat food to eat
EXT. NEIGHBOR’S FRONT PORCH – SAME EVENING
He places groceries on her porch…this becomes a recurring deed
EXT. CITY STREETS – DAY
Detective calls Judge Jones from streets
Says hope I’m not interrupting anything important
INT. WINE AND SPIRITS WHOLESELLER – CONTINUOUS
Nope, just pickin up some soda pop
A bottle of XO cognac is wedged between a bottle of mina mesa cabernet and a bottle of Meiomi Pino Noir
EXT. CITY STREETS – DAY
Tells him Callahan’s Judge Karen Dreyfus is not clean for this case
Says you might wanna look into it
INT. WINE AND SPIRITS WHOLESELLER – CONTINUOUS
When are you gonna look into making that career move
Its a pay raise AND a paradigm shift
EXT. CITY STREETS – DAY
Detective puts the phone to his forehead
Gets quiet
Finally, he responds “you might be right about this hectic career choice”
EXT. CITY STREETS – DAY
Judge says now we’re making progress
Then says ok, Ill investigate detective
Then prods him about handling his own “caper” job in his hood
Hangs up on detective
B New plan
EXT. BARBER SHOP – AFTERNOON
Establishing shot
EXT. BARBER SHOP – CONTINUOUS
Chance learns about the Detective from TV news story as he preps for caper
The entire place is rattling with commentary about the crimes
Chance jokes to them that he now has to Tighten up his routine his overall plan
They laugh and take it as a joke though he’s serious
INT. DETECTIVE’S CAR – NIGHT
He’s talking himself through his mission to corner the crook
Turn by turn, street by street
He looks, he sees someone, they evade him
This goes on for a while but he seems to get closer and closer to the suspect
He reaches over to the passenger seat and loads a round into the chamber
INT. CAROLINA’S CAR – NIGHT
TE 17 Fiancé follows him on a caper
She is having a quiet but heated convo with her mom on the speaker phone as she searches the hood
She looks urgently in every possible direction for something
The convo is split between English and Spanish
Out of nowhere she say’s “yeah, like this some bullshit Mammi!”
She sees Chance in the distance and stops the car and convo and watches intensely
EXT – DESERTED ALLEY – NIGHT
TE 18 He lets a victim go free with out taking from them
After shaking shaking down a victim Chance comes across something in his belongings that gives him pause
The victim talks him into letting him go alive
When the victim turns to walk away Chance calls him back
And asks him a few questions about the item
Them gives him everything back
Chances phone suddenly vibrates
He says to the victim “don’t walk…then screams RUN!
INT. CAROLINA’S CAR – NIGHT
TE 19 Fiancé calls him as he’s almost caught and guides him out of danger
Carolina blurts out, that police cruiser you’ve been evading has you dead to rights Chance
EXT – DESERTED ALLEY – NIGHT
Chance can’t believe he’s hearing Carolina say this
Suddenly headlights bend the corner
Then Carolina speeds in the direction of the headlights but diverts last second
EXT – DESERTED ALLEY – NIGHT
TE 20 Detective left high and dry at the scene
Detective is so focused spotting the crook that he narrowly escapes a collision
When her car horn blares, he just shakes his head realizing she had the right of way
He turns the corner and Chance and the victim are long gone
INT. COURTROOM – DAY
Detective slips into the back of the room and grabs the first open seat
Judge Dryfus is forced to recuse herself
She does all she can do to withhold her anger but can’t
Judge says, do you even understand you killed someone’s kid?
Callahan, I STOPPED a 20 year old armed intruder…home invader… from possibly murdering my family
She just glares at him as she snatches up her papers and leaves
Detective slips away unnoticed
Bailiff: ALL RISE!
INT. JUDGES CHAMBERS – CONTINUOUS
Judge Jones leans over his computer
The monitors are reflected in his glasses and the bright light is refracting on his face
He calls Detective cell with a short cryptic message
Thanks for the tip Detective she was definitely compromised friend of a friend’s rotten ass son
INT. COURTHOUSE HALLWAY – CONTINUOUS
Detective thanks him for listening
INT. JUDGES CHAMBERS – CONTINUOUS
Judge Jones you wanna share your motivation
INT. COURTHOUSE HALLWAY – CONTINUOUS
Just not sure the law was giving everyone a fair shot at …justice
INT. JUDGES CHAMBERS – CONTINUOUS
Judge Jones you can trust the law… it works. You’re a lawyer yourself, you know that
INT. COURTHOUSE HALLWAY – CONTINUOUS
Yeah but sometimes the law needs oil change and a jump start or it’ll leave your ass stranded or worst, run your ass over…Sir
INT. JUDGES CHAMBERS – CONTINUOUS
Good day Detective
C Turning Point 3: Huge failure / Major shift
INT. DETECTIVE’S LIVING ROOM
Meet detectives mom
Learn he’s a mommas boy
Learn he has a proposed to his girlfriend
Tipped off goes after crook
EXT. URBAN AREA – NIGHT
Detective is watching Chance
Sets him up good
Chance is arrested on 20 counts
Looking at 20-80 years in prison
INT. PRISON CELL – DAY
Chance is in jail dejected as he paces in his small cell
He talks to himself “I can’t do this”
PLACE HOLDER: Get more progress from others
INT. PRISON CELL – AFTERNOON
Does push ups, sit ups between going crazy
He runs in place
INT. PRISON CELL – NIGHT
Chance considers suicide
His building manual and dreams prevent that
He recommits to his dream of building a home
Act 4:
A Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict
INT. PRISON – DAY
Detective visits Callahan in jail for a few unanswered questions
Detective Delivers Chances Fate
Detective makes promise to do what he can to help
TE 21 Dad says don’t worry about me just Chance
They squeeze hands as they cannot hug
INT. COURTROOM – AFTERNOON
Dads trial begins up to All Rise…
Judge Jones is announce and we see delight on Detective’s face
Dad calls Sergeant Antoni Mills (arresting officer) to the stand
TE 22 Dad gets him to prove him not guilty through an exercise in the courtroom
TE 23 Judge stops the hearing and rule it a mistrial
INT. COURTROOM HALLWAY – MOMENTS LATER
The Prosecuting Attorney reluctantly answers his cell phone and says Yes Sir, No, Sir, UH yes
Detective notices then whispers something to Dad
Dad face grows with excitement and he tears up as Detective pats him on the shoulders
INT. DA’s OFFICE – CONTINUOUS
Barry’s mom arranges for Chance’s release
B Resolution
(Montage: The beginning of a new day for main characters)
EXT. PRISON BOXING CLUB – DAY
The old weak scared Chance throw a couple body blows then a knockdown shot to his opponent
A prison guard summons Chance Callahan
Chance exclaims that he aint done nothin wrong that was a clean shot
Prison Gate buzzer blares
Chance and Barry walk out of the facility with belongings in hand
EXT. CALLAHAN LAW OFFICES – DAY
TE 25 Dads lawsuits are dropped and his finances and home are safe again
The family removes notices and official tape and out of business signs from the property
Landscapers work on the yard
Family is cleaning exterior
Or grand reopening signs
EXT. CALLAHAN HOME – DAY
Dad glares at the for sale sign in his front yard
He looks around at all the neighbors looking at him
Then snatches the for sale sign out of the ground at the same time that
EXT. LAKESIDE HOME BUILD PROJECT – MONTHS LATER
Barry snatches the SOLD sign out of the ground and tosses it to Chance
TE 26 The 2 brothers are halfway done building their twin lake houses
EXT. LAKEHOUSE – MOMENTS LATER
Mom confronts Sylvia
It looks like trouble
Mom thanks her
Becomes a personality match made in heaven
Instant sisters
As the rest of the family joins them and Dad and Barry take away their cigarettes
EXT. LAKE HOUSE AERIAL – CONTINUOUS
TE 27 the view rises to reveal their majestic lakeside property with nothing but promise
-
Justine’s Beat Sheet Draft 2
In this assignment I learned that it’s easy to get caught up in the Protagonists story, looking at them as the main character and not considering the arc of the Antagonist. This assignment helped me acknowledge that side of the storyline.
INT. GROCERY STORY – NIGHT
Opening: Annie is walking through a grocery store, buying ice cream, and talking on the phone about her upcoming 30<sup>th</sup> birthday.
PLACEHOLDER: Annie gets voicemail from mom? Annie assesses dire houseplant situation and something else that illustrates that Annie doesn’t finish the things she starts?
PLACEHOLDER: Annie’s job is established as her and Jenn walk around the office handing out mail while having a conversation about Annie’s birthday.
INT. EDITING FIRM – DAY
TE 1: While at work there is an announcement of a contest at work, prompting Jenn and Annie to discuss Annie’s lack of motivation to write.
INT. FANCY RESTAURANT – NIGHT
Inciting Incident: Annie has dinner with her mother who expresses her disappointment in Annie and invites her to come to Greece with her.
PLACEHOLDER: Annie’s apartment, her and Jenn are getting ready as Annie is upset about her dinner with her mom. Annie’s reflection puts her down as she’s trying to get ready.
PLACEHOLDER: Uber ride to bar?
INT. BAR – NIGHT
TE 2: Annie and Jenn go to the bar to ‘celebrate’ Annie turning 30 the next day, where Annie drinks too much and blacks out.
INT. ANNIE’S APARTMENT – DAY
Opening: Annie wakes up to someone in her apartment, the hallucination of her inner critic who has been blocking her creativity.
PLACEHOLDER: Annie has a conversation with the inner critic, establishing who she is. Inner Critic is very annoyed by Annie.
INT. YOGA STUDIO – DAY
TE 3: Annie goes to yoga with Jenn, while her inner critic comes with her, discouraging Annie from making positive change. Inner critic finds Annie’s attempts to improve her life futile and tries to convince her it’s too hard.
INT. JUICE BAR – DAY
Inciting Incident: Annie talks to Jenn about the contest and why she doesn’t want to participate, while Annie is keeping the secret that she is hallucinating her inner critic. Annie discusses two possible ideas for a story with Jenn.
PLACEHOLDER: Annie tries to workout, jogging outside, but inner critic complains the whole time?
INT. ANNIE’S APARTMENT – NIGHT
TE 4: Annie decides to write for the contest but due to influence from the inner critic, chooses the safer story of the two. The Inner Critic insists Annie goes with the easier one, stating she isn’t as creative as she was in college, she needs to stay with safer options.
INT. BREAK ROOM – DAY
Opening: Annie is having lunch with Jenn and they discuss Annie’s inner critic, vaguely. Jenn tells Annie that she doesn’t need to listen to the inner critic. The Inner Critic finds this absurd, if she weren’t there, who would be looking out for Annie’s best interest?
PLACEHOLDER: Annie attempts another positive change that’s held obscured by the inner critic?
INT. ANNIE’S APARTMENT – NIGHT
TE 5: Annie starts to become comfortable writing again and starts to question things the inner critic is telling her. She asks the Inner Critic at one point, why can’t she do hard things? Why isn’t she capable of improving? The Inner Critic explains that it’s because the risk of failure is too great.
PLACEHOLDER: Annie successfully jogs around the block, ignoring the inner critic and feeling good about herself. At this point she’s starting to gain more confidence in herself and take the Inner Critic less seriously.
INT. EDITOR’S OFFICE – NIGHT
Inciting Incident: Jenn has won the contest using the more unique creative story idea that Annie didn’t use but should have, leading to a fight between Annie and Jenn where Jenn tells Annie how she really feels about her and their friendship.
PLACEHOLDER: Annie getting ready to go to the bar and has a negative interaction with the inner critic? Annie blames the Inner Critic for the story choice and holding her back her entire life. Maybe she realizes she doesn’t need the Inner Critic and expresses that?
INT. BAR – NIGHT
TE 6: Annie goes back out to the bar, falling back her old ways of coping, ignoring the inner critic, and throwing away the positive progress she’d made. The Inner Critic is with her, trying to criticize her for throwing away everything she’s accomplished during this time and criticizes Annie for having written the easier, less creative story.
INT. ANNIE’S APARTMENT – DAY
Opening: Annie awakens the next morning, alone, without the inner critic.
INT. ANNIE’S APARTMENT – DAY
TE 7: She makes a list of the things the inner critic would say to her and puts it on the wall with a calendar her mom gave her.
PLACEHOLDER: Annie cleans up her apartment and goes for a jog? Calls her mom to discuss her difficulties?
INT. AIRPORT TERMINAL – DAY
Inciting Incident: She goes to the airport, flying to Greece to meet her mother.
INT. LARGE AUDITORIUM – NIGHT
TE 8: She releases her book about how to get past your inner critic and gives a TED talk.
-
Brendan’s Beat Sheet Draft 2
In this assignment, I learned to figure out what the heart of the film is and how I want the audience to leave the theater. Also, I learned to make a quick list of the antagonist journey in the film and where she starts and ends up.
<title></title><style type=”text/css”>
</style>Basic Questions
What
is this story really about? The
story is about the aftermath of a suicide from the perspective of
the victim’s mother and his younger sister and their journey through
the grieving process.What
is the real issue I want to explore? The
two themes that I want to explore is that we can still have a
relationship with a deceased loved one even after they pass on and
that sometimes we will never understand why exactly someone
committed suicide, but it’s important we focus more on the time that
they lived than when they died.What
is the meaning of all this? The
central thematic message of the story is “Sometimes we don’t have
all the answers we’re looking for and that’s okay”.How
is the theme introduced lightly near the beginning? We
introduce Christina, 17, who is confused with questions regarding
her brother’s suicide and not understanding why he committed
suicide. She’s gone into a deep depression and often cuts her wrist
to bury her emotional pain.How
is it explored through the story? While
we see Valerie being in denial and acting as if her son is still
alive, we see Christina struggling to understand what motivated her
brother to commit suicide.How
does it evolves into the message that is delivered at the end? By
helping her mother overcome the denial of her son’s death, Christina
learns to not focus on why Sam jumped off the bridge, but rather
focus on the time that he lived.The Antagonist’s
JourneyHow
does the antagonist operate? Valerie,
the antagonist, has an ongoing back and forth with Anita, the
protagonist. She refuses to accept her son is dead and begins to
become delusional about it while her daughter, Anita is trying to
help her, Valerie tends to push back.Valerie
is introduced at a bookstore buying birthday presents for her son,
who died a year ago.Valerie
asks her son, Sam to pack his room up.Valerie
refuses to listen to her daughter when she brings up the fact that
Sam is gone.Valerie
decides to ignore her daughter’s suffering.Valerie
throws a birthday party for Sam.Valerie
discovers a letter from Trinity College and learns that Anita is
going away soon.Valerie
is upset that Anita is leaving her behind.Valerie
has a nightmare and while Anita tries to wake her up, she pushes her
to the ground.Valerie
finally enters Sam’s room and breaks down crying.Valerie
wants Anita to stay behind so they can start to repair their
relationship. -
Kristin’s Beat Sheet Draft 2
What I learned: That each lesson really does flesh out things for the next one. It’s like magic.
Act 1:
OPENING:
EXT. CARAVAN OF DIG VEHICLES – WIDE-OPEN PRAIRIE – ESTABLISHING – DAY
Five or six rag-tag pickups roll down a lone stretch of pockmarked 2-lane pavement in the middle of nowhere. A small (SMALL) town can be seen in the distance.
EXT. 2-PUMP GAS STATION – TINY TOWN – FOLLOWING
The crew pulls in to fuel up. Most are 30-something, sturdy men. A couple of women. A flurry of kids—many of whom line up at the outdoor bathroom.
TE1: JOE is in charge, distractedly filling his pickup, in the middle of a conversation. [This is where Joe learns about dig on public lands and leaves a 6-year-old in the bathroom.]
EXT. ROAD SNAKING THROUGH THE PRAIRIE – LITTLE LATER
One truck pulls off with a tire problem. The others follow. [Notice kid is missing.]
EXT. GAS STATION – FOLLOWING
Kid sitting and waiting. Obviously not for the first time.
INCITING INCIDENT:
EXT. DINOSAUR COMPANY BACK ALLEY – MORNING
All the trucks from yesterday are parked there, plus a few more. Now “DO NOT CROSS / POLICE LINE” tape is being strung up to close the alley.
[Seizure set-up.]
INT. JOE’S TRAILER ACROSS THE ALLEY – SAME
TE 2: PHONE RINGS and he’s talking about [whatever science] as FEDS walk past his windows again and again with the DO NOT CROSS tape. Joe is making coffee and doesn’t notice.
EXT. PARKING LOT – LATER
NEWS CAMERAS everywhere, setting up for a news conference as MR. LITTLE fixes his pancake makeup. [This is where Prosecutor Mr. Little gets his 15 minutes on TV.]
INT./EXT. DINOSAUR BUSINESS – DAY/NIGHT
PLACEHOLDER: A sequence showing the drama of the seizure / dynamics of the situation / who’s who / what’s what. Set the stage of the company and how it works. This must include that it’s basically a CUSTODY BATTLE OVER A DINOSAUR.
TURNING POINT:
EXT. PARKING LOT – DAY
Same set-up as when Mr. Little did his press conference, except everything is different. Real people, no makeup, speaking from the heart.
Joe announces that he’s filed suit against the government for “wrongful seizure and return of his property.”
[This is where in the middle of the news announcement, the school lets all the kids out and they swarm the place with signs.]
TE 3: Joe is surrounded by kids chanting. Just as Mr. Little is VERY displeased at the bad press, Joe suddenly realizes that the thing he had considered as “his” really “belongs to everyone.” He’s blown away.
INT. WORKSHOP – DAY
Company staff are told to stand down because “experts” are coming to take this “government property.” Of course, it’s HUGE—and the unprepared, government-hired “scientists” arrive with a couple of sheets of plywood and some boxes. Woefully inadequate.
TE 4: Joe makes a painful decision to break the “stand-down” rule and to help—he must properly crate the fossil he loves, in order to save it from damage. The team pitches in [we see the contrast—they’re really good at their job]. Joe even uses his own materials. Lots of them.
Mr. Little looks on—torn between the “letter of the instruction” and “protecting his investment.”
Act 2: NEW PLAN:
EXT. COMPANY BUILDING – EARLY MORNING
The protest has most of the community—hundreds of people, including the school kids and teachers—out with hot chocolate and donuts. The protest continues.
INT. COMPANY OFFICES AND WORKSHOPS – SAME
Everyone moves boxes of rocks and fossils out of the way and creates a mini marketing department. [These independents start “telling their story.” It goes international.]
INT. PROSECUTORS’ OFFICE – SAME
PLACEHOLDER: Something about how they realize they can’t “throw a log chain around the building” and close it down because of the kids. Bad publicity.
Planning the legal case—like a bull in a china shop.
EXT. ALLEY / PARKING AREA – MORNING
A couple of cars’ worth of lawyers pile out. These are country lawyers, and they’ve come to help.
INT. OFFICES – FOLLOWING
PLACEHOLDER: Joe, his partners, and lawyers begin to plot out their strategy. Not everyone is a fan of Joe’s move to “sue the feds,” but Joe starts the way he always starts—like a bull in a china shop. MEET JOE’S CHARISMATIC AND WILD LAWYER, who starts sketching things out on a huge WHITE BOARD.
ON THE BOARD
The combatants are listed, those who claim custody: “us,” “the feds,” the guy who sold it to us from leased land.
TE 5: As Joe’s wild lawyer is giving advice that is daring and contrary to other defendants’ lawyers’ advice, Joe starts to realize that he has to learn how to listen—and still lead. THIS INFORMATION COMES TO JOE through a “VOICE IN HIS HEAD.” A female voice.
INT. PROSECUTOR’S OFFICE – DAY/NIGHT
PLACEHOLDER: Is there a mole at the dinosaur world, feeding some info to Little? OR PERHAPS A FEMALE VOICE? Prosecutors’ office is also dealing with storing the fossil; talking about realizing they have no idea what they’re doing, looking for reinforcements.
Still, as Mr. Little sees the chaos in Joe’s camp, he feels pretty confident. Starts stacking up his evidence. LOOKING IN JOE’S FIELD NOTES.
EXT. DINOSAUR ALLEY / JOE’S HOUSE – NIGHT
PLACEHOLDER: TE 6: A prominent medicine man makes an offer to come to Joe’s trailer house behind the company. Joe accepts, just to be polite. But this guy starts making sense, and he calls Joe “a caretaker” of the earth’s treasures. Joe REALIZES THAT THE VOICE IN HIS HEAD might be the dinosaur, and starts to see his role differently.
MIDPOINT/TP:
INT. COURTHOUSE – DAY
PLACEHOLDER: Joe loses the custody battle, and is devastated. Shortly thereafter, Little indicts Joe and his partners as if they’re the conspirators in a complex RICO case. Hundreds of felony charges. Even the little-old-lady receptionist is an “unindicted co-conspirator.”
INT. JOE’S TRAILER – NIGHT
PLACEHOLDER: TE 7: Joe’s daughter turns 18—and takes off with her boyfriend. She says her life has been dominated by whatever her dad wants, and she is NOT going to let her world get derailed by something she can’t help or control.
EXT. STORAGE BUILDING WHERE FOSSIL IS – NIGHT
Joe stands outside the window, looking in and having a conversation about the daughter. BOTH SIDES are clearly audible, when no one else is around.
Act 3: RETHINK EVERYTHING:
INT. JOE’S OFFICES – EARLY MORNING
Everyone is exhausted and bitter, scared and angry.
PLACEHOLDER PROBLEM: Need this to be funny…. As Joe’s people are pulled into the drama, he learns the downfalls of his overall POV. He is even asked to step down as CEO by his family and business partners, but he’s still the majority stockholder. TE 8: Is he going to give up—or change?
INT. PROSECUTORS’ OFFICE – NIGHT
Mr. Little meticulously arranges and rearranges his “exhibits” and equipment, including ELMO, the projector screen thing. He talks to himself as he sets his sights on taking Joe and the business down.
EXT/INT. DINO ALLEY & OFFICES – NIGHT
Joe can’t sleep, and crosses from his trailer to the office. He looks at the mountain of paperwork, decades’ worth of files, etc.
TE 9: PLACEHOLDER SEQUENCE RE: NEW INSIGHTS: Joe’s new plans involve research, collaboration, listening to new ideas, and engaging colleagues behind the scenes to assist.
One of the things he knows he must do is get back outdoors.
INT. JOE’S TENT – NIGHT
At a dig site, back out in the middle of nowhere, we hear some COYOTES. Joe begins to toss and turn in his sleeping bag.
DREAM SEQUENCE:
TE 10: PLACEHOLDER: One DREAM is with the guys who created this independent business model 100 years before. They, and their entire legacy, are relying on him. Another is an in-person conversation with the dinosaur herself, in real time. This begins a dialog, where they share a process of dealing with Mr. Little.
Joe awakens with a new understanding of the errors in the prosecution’s case—jumps up and breaks camp.
INT. DINO OFFICE – WHITE BOARD – DAY
TE 11: Joe and team sketch out Mr. Little’s errors and the case’s inherent weaknesses. Joe asks his colleagues to look through their own FIELD NOTES that show exact locations, etc. Everyone participates and adds to the logic.
INT. PROSECUTORS’ OFFICE – SAME
By now, Mr. Little is cocky; he thinks he’s got this in the bag. Nerding out, he prepares dozens of very boring slideshows and graphs and charts.
TP / FAILURE / MAJOR SHIFT: THE TRIAL
INT. COURTROOM – DAY IN AND DAY OUT
The trial goes on, and on, and on. Mr. Little puts everyone to sleep and Joe’s side gets all the laughs.
PLACEHOLDERS: Don’t forget the funny case notes examples. TE 11.5: Also, his colleagues need to shine here. Teamwork!
Finally, as the verdict is read, Joe and his colleagues are triumphant for almost the entire list of charges (Mr. Little hates this)—but Joe is convicted on a technicality. Even with “right on his side,” he faces a prison sentence.
“Everyone” in the clan is devastated and embarrassed, “guilty!” TE 12: But Joe walks out the front doors of the courthouse—with a cigar in his mouth. This confuses Mr. Little and the judge.
INT. JUDGE’S CHAMBERS – NIGHT
Mr. Little explains to the judge why it’s important to put Joe away, even though the case suggests only probation. They make a deal.
Act 4: CLIMAX:
INT. COURTHOUSE – DAY
In something like a dream sequence, Joe goes in with high hopes and then discovers he’ll go to prison. PRISON?
INT. PRISON – DAY
When Joe is being logged into the facility, the guard on duty looks at the conviction—“Failure to fill out forms? You must have really pissed someone off.”
EXT. VARIOUS LOCATIONS
PLACEHOLDER SEQUENCE: Joe quickly becomes a celebrity at minimum security—and beyond. PROTESTS BEGIN IN SEVERAL STATES, AND IN WASHINGTON DC. We see HIS DAUGHTER organizing one. Or two…
EXT. PRISON YARD – DAY
When Joe finds fossils in the exercise yard, he thinks twice about picking them up. TE 13: After all, this is federal property. He has a great idea for a TED Talk about ownership of “the public trust.”
INT. PRISON LIBRARY – DAY
PLACEHOLDER SEQUENCE: TE 14: Meanwhile, can he run the company from prison? He has to understand what “teamwork” really looks like. Also while inside, Joe helps rewrite federal policy on fossil collections, writes books, sees the benefits of collaboration.
INT. DINO OFFICES – DAY
The team rallies behind him, and Joe’s people launch a campaign against Mr. Little and the frivolous prosecution.
EXT. PROSECUTORS’ OFFICE – EVENING
Mr. Little is feeling pretty good about himself. This is despite the fact that even his colleagues cringe when he comes around.
EXT. MR. LITTLE’S HOUSE – FOLLOWING
He drives up in his Suzuki Samurai, parks in the driveway of an unremarkable cookie-cutter house. His yard is full of turkeys, boxes of hatchling chickens. He’s mystified.
INT. MR. LITTLE’S HOUSE – FOLLOWING
He takes off his suit jacket and ponders a stack of mail that has fallen through the slot. As he’s leaning against the front door, someone knocks on the other side, startling him.
He opens, and there stands a delivery person. IT’S JOE’S DAUGHTER (the one who took off), who has a box of exotic parrots…as well as other “T. rex relatives.”
RESOLUTION:
EXT. PRISON – EARLY MORNING
Joe, wearing his old clothes, boards a bus.
INT. BUS – SAME
Joe chooses a seat and settles in. As the bus lurches forward, he pulls an unopened letter from his pocket—from his daughter. He opens it, and sees a photograph of her in a “dino protest” in Washington DC. The letter begins, “Dear Dad…”
EXT. HIGHWAY NORTH – BUS – DAY
He’s looking out the window, happier than he’s been in a long time. Wait, is that a DINOSAUR sitting on the row of seats across the aisle? We can’t really see clearly.
INT. HIS OFFICE – DAY
PLACEHOLDER: As soon as Joe gets out, businesses are lined up to place orders—NOT what Mr. Little had hoped for. Joe and his team set out on a new prospecting mission—in a new way, and with help from the “dream-fossil.” They find another T. rex. Mr. Little does not get his promotion…and is demoted to Public Defender.
-
Bob Colley – Beat Sheet Draft 2
What I learned doing this assignment is letting go of how disjointed this process seems to be.
Theme – Redemption
Hero goes from being broken because of the failed raid; his loss of confidence replaced when he tracks down and kills the villain.
<st1:place w:st=”on”>Main</st1:place> beats of Antagonist’s Journey
Villain sees agents coming to the cabin and picks up machine pistol. She loses husband and child.
Once freed villain takes over husband’s terrorist cell
She ramps up the violence to punish government for her losses. Tests drones blowing up small town.
She escapes from Hero at construction site.
Sets up and tests 1,000 drone swarm. Plots targets in major city.
Lets henchmen take the heat as she escapes into tunnels.
Has a cowards death.
Act 1:
INT. CABIN – DAY
Door splinters apart as FBI agents enter cabin to apprehend suspect. GF opens fire with a machine pistol killing first agent. During returning fire GF spins and tosses gun to boyfriend who runs down hall firing at agents. He is hit, through and through and bullet goes through wall and kills child in the other room.
EXT. ROADWAY – DAY
Agents transporting GF to safe house for off book interrogation being passed by car with a couple in it (henchmen). They open fire, disable the car and free GF.
PLACEHOLDER: Montage of hero – buries FBI partner, quits FBI, divorced, gets position as sheriff of small town.
<st1:place w:st=”on”><st1:placename w:st=”on”>INT.</st1:placename> <st1:placetype w:st=”on”>CAVE</st1:placetype></st1:place> – DAY
Villain meets second in command and kills him to let others know who’s in charge.
EXT. FIELD – DAY
Villain has gps drones fitted with a kilo of C4.
<st1:place w:st=”on”><st1:placename w:st=”on”>EXT.</st1:placename> <st1:placetype w:st=”on”>TOWN</st1:placetype></st1:place> – DAY
Hero sees six drones fly into his small town. They are carrying C4. The bank explodes, post office, grocery store, gift shop, school and playground.
PLACEHOLDER: Hero’s town is under attack.
INT. SHERIFF’S OFFICE – AFTERNOON
FBI agent meets Hero. They have to work together to find terrorists. Hero realizes agent not up to the task and takes charge; it’s his town.
Act 2:
EXT. WOODS – DAY
Hero meets with Elder to learn needed back country skills.
PLACEHOLDER: Tries new skills, fails at first.
EXT. ROADWAY – DAY
Car chase with Hero after GF villain with henchmen. Chases to building under construction.
EXT. CONSTRUCTION SITE – DAY
Villain heads up stairs three flights to roof. Hero held off my henchmen gunfire. Agent partner uses construction crane to lift pallet of material with Hero on up to roof level. Firefight the entire way. Has villain in sights. Dust cloud and crane sways as villain escapes by drone copter.
EXT. COUNTRY – DAY
Villain test flies the unarmed swarm.
EXT. COUNTRY – DAY
Hero encounters terrorists test flying drone swarm
Act 3:
EXT. COUNTRY – EVENING
Agent and hero gather intel on hardware and software terrorists are using. Needs a plans to stop a 1,000 drone swarm.
EXT. COUNTRY – DAY
Tries a pulse gun but fails.
Act 4:
EXT. COUNTRY – DAY
Villain arms the 1,000 drone swam with explosives. (schemy fingers time)
EXT. COUNTRY – AFTERNOON
Hero and partner hack terrorist computer system and takes control of the swarm. Uses the swarm to blowup terrorist camp.
<st1:place w:st=”on”><st1:placename w:st=”on”>INT.</st1:placename> <st1:placetype w:st=”on”>CAVE</st1:placetype></st1:place> – DAY
Villain leaves henchmen and escapes into the tunnels.
INT. TUNNEL – AFTERNOON
Hero chases villain through tunnels and finds her hiding in a hole. Shoots her in the head.
-
Adam’s beat sheet draft 2
What I learned: that his process is making so fast. Almost like plug and play.
Theme: Truth – Deny it or face it head on, it will always come out eventually.
Antagonist journey:
Mayor Elizabeth
1. Mayor says she is here to help the people – but she’s actually leading them into the abyss of a massive human experiment and population control
2. Mayor takes dictator control over public health – behind the scenes she has the head doctor intimidated
3. Mayor announces more lockdowns for good of health – but touts the new vaccine that will save everyone
4. Mayor gets the call – it’s going to happen now – she says isn’t it sooner than they wanted, but the answer is that too much vax dissent is happening now, so it’s time
5. She makes a big announcement about why the plan happened that way – the new world order
6. Mayor needs to find out why the plan isn’t working fully – who’s rising up? Who created this alternate internet that is all democratic? She’s losing her control. Gets the call if she can’t find out who it is… she’s done.
7. Mayor discovers who Les is – she meets him personally to squish him – her evilness is out as instead of killing him, she wants to see him suffer
8. She is found and killed by Les and his insurgents
ACT 1
TEASER:
News footage with credits of pandemic hitting – shit going down
INT. PARLIAMENT – DAY
Mayor Elizabeth speaks at a press conference – we’re here to help, please keep distance, wear your mask and don’t hug anybody! Together we’ll crush this virus.
INT. SCHOOL – DAY
Opening: LES IS FUN TEACHER WITH NO BACK BONE
Les is a funny computer science teacher who doesn’t have much control over his students. He jokes off his lack of control and influence. Hiding his feelings of defeat with jokes. Same goes at home.
EXT. SCHOOLYARD – DAY
TE 1: Les sees kid getting bullied and called ‘anti-masker’ – he breaks it up
INT. LES’S HOME – DAY
Les talks to his own kids to find out what’s happening
Inciting Incident: LES talks to kid’s mom about his kid being bullied and then anti-mask and freedom
INT. LES’S HOME OFFICE – DAY
Les gets info from NEW FRIEND (kid’s mom) – goes down the rabbit hole of truth
INT. MAYOR’S OFFICE – DAY
Mayor Elizabeth intimidates Public Health Doctor when he starts to question her.
INT. PRINCIPAL’S OFFICE – DAY
TE 2: He speaks up to the Principal of school about how he thinks they should look deeper into it critically– Principal says to leave it alone, don’t go there, these decisions come from the top – no matter what they say/we have to live with it/hands are tied
INT. LES’S OFFICE – DAY – ON COMPUTER
TE 3: Les witnesses 2 things that were considered a conspiracy by mainstream become reality: the idea of mass vaccinations with an experimental drug pushed through by FDA & people shot/taken away at an anti-lockdown peaceful protest.
Turning Point 1: CONSIRACY BECOMES REALITY: LES CAN’T TURN A BLIND EYE ANYMORE
INT. BEDROOM – NIGHT
Les can’t remove images of his own kids, in rows with masks and plexiglass – iron fist coming down on them from Nazi-like teacher – a la ‘1984’.
ACT 2
INT. PARLIAMENT – DAY
Mayor Elizabeth says they’ll be going into another full lockdown – if you’re seen outside you will be questioned. But the vaccines to save all are almost here!
There is a large protest outside.
New Plan: FIND THE TRUTH
INT. LES’S OFFICE – DAY
Les does research, gets confused about the different messaging, he starts to let it leak to students who even say he’s being irresponsible
INT. PARLIAMENT – DAY
Mayor getting vax on camera – she whispers to the nurse giving it – ‘100% that’s placebo right?’.
INT. LES’S KITCHEN – DAY
TE 4: Les comes clean to Donna about what he’s been learning. She can’t even bare to hear it. It’s the truth! She denies it.
INT. MAYOR’S OFFICE – DAY
Mayor Elizabeth pushing vaccine rollout hard – everyone should be vaxxed with experimental vaccine ASAP
Plan in Action – DISSEMINATE TRUTH
INT. CLASSROOM – DAY
He’s trying to sneak in some critical thinking to his students. He has an open debate with them in class about what’s happening.
INT. BEDROOM – DAY
Donna drops off a business call. She cries, packs a bag… then stops and unpacks.
INT. LES’S HOME – DAY
He feels he’s living a lie and sees his own children withdrawing, getting angry and losing hope for the future.
INT. LES’S HOME – NIGHt
Les’s kid says one of his classmates committed suicide.
NEWS: Middle class is getting dismantled.
INT. BEDROOM – NIGHT
Les and Donna have a big blowout fight – she says he’s crazy and he says she’s blind, etc.
INT. DOCTOR’S OFFICE – DAY
Donna gets the shot, is a bit nervous, but Doctor says it’s all good – you’ll be fine.
INT. CLASSROOM – DAY
TE 5: Les gets close to a student who is having psych problems – the kid is very distraught so he breaks protocol and gives the kid a hug – another student sees this and reports him. HE IS FIRED and CHARGED. He’s publicly pegged as a dissenter
NEWS REEL
People are vaxxing – things are looking better for society
INT. LES’S OFFICE – DAY
Les is researching more, talking with Friend, wife got vaxxed and moved to parents for a while.
INT. MAYOR’S – OFFICE
She’s on a call, angry that ‘it’s’ happening too soon, need more people vaxxed. But she’s not really the boss. There’s too much vax hesitancy and they have to go ASAP.
Midpoint Turning Point: TRUTH IS WORSE THAN THOUGHT
NEWS REEL: Suddenly everyone who was vaxxed dies or gets severely ill and then dies.
INT. FUNERAL HOME – DAY
Les and kids at his wife’s funeral
ACT 3
EXT. PARLIEMENT BUILDINGS – DAY
Mayor Elizabeth announcement:
It was all on purpose – to shrink the population and weed out the followers – they wanted the best and brightest to survive. ‘Natural selection’ fast forwarded with a helping hand. Those that survive will share in the riches of the earth. A new earth with plenty for everyone, proper farming, clean air, etc. There’s just a few rules: You won’t own anything, you will be given monthly allowance for survival. You will be given a job that suits your aptitude, you will have a social scorecard, you are not allowed more than 1 child…
Rethink everything: Goes into hiding from NWO
INT. NEW FRIEND’S BASEMENT – DAY
Les goes into hiding with his new friend – the mom. With his kids and hers.
EXT. SCHOOL – DAY
Mayor plays nice as terrified kids are lined up and questioned about their aptitude. A new school system is being put in place to have the kids learn their life long vocation and be upstanding citizens.
New plan
INT. FRIEND’S BASEMENT – DAY
TE 6: Create a new internet that is democratic, money that can’t be hidden, build on what’s there – blockchain, coins, etc.
Find lots of ‘cells’ of people who want to fight back
INT. MAYOR’S HOUSE – NIGHT
Mayor is visited and threatened by ‘major’ player – told to find out who it is that’s thwarting their plans
INT. FRIEND’S BASEMENT – NIGHT
Les Tells his kids how they’ll get through this – they’ll building a strong resistance
Les and Friend make love – have fallen for each other
INT. MAYORS’S HOUSE – NIGHT
Mayor meets a strange man to infiltrate the resistance
INT. ANOTHER BASEMENT – NIGHT
A meeting – Behind the scenes Les and friend build a strong group worldwide on the alt web
NEWS:
Elite stranglehold starts failing because people have stopped buying from them and refusing to take their drugs, don’t use their social media – they’ve created another one that isn’t controlled by anyone
INT. ANOTHER BASEMENT – NIGHT
Les and people have gathered – a person introduces him to the Strange Man.
Turning point: Strange man reports Les’s name to they Mayor
TE 7: Les captured and put into labour camp. Mayor Elizabeth discovers who he is – how he’s the leader – and has him found and arrested along with many others in these cells.
Friend and kids escape.
EXT. MINE – DAY
Les does back breaking work, shackled
INT. MAYOR’S OFFICE – DAY
Mayor makes a call – they should be back on track…
INT. LABOUR CAMP – NIGHT
Les talks with other prisoners. They need a true revolution. No longer can work only in the shadows.
ACT 4
Climax/Ultimate expression of conflict
INT. LABOUR CAMP – NIGHT
TE 8: Les leads a break out. They plan a take-over/escape of the camp with everyone in the jail. The guards lay down their weapons in solidarity.
Get weapons and head to the Mayor’s Home
INT. MAYOR’S HOME – NIGHT
Les confronts the Mayor and takes her hostage and executes (hangs) her publicly saying we’re moving to the top.
We’re done with corporate elites and their corruption – the people are finally taking back their freedom
Time for the real Truth – power and money corrupt, period.
Resolution
INT. WAREHOUSE – NIGHT
Les and his ‘army’ are set up, it’s a live/work area with bunks, cots, etc. and computers/weapons, etc.
News footage shows the world descending into revolution and chaos as the oppressed finally rise up against the elites and power that has run the world for so long.
-
Paul’s High-Speed Beat Sheet – Draft 2
What I learned doing this assignment was that you can always see ways to improve the role for the antagonist.
ACT 1
1 EXT. PHILADELPHIA SKYLINE – DAY 1
Establish where we are and that it is spring.
2 EXT. CAMPUS LANE – DAY
Establish house – creep towards window to see
3 INT. PATRICIA’S LIVING ROOM – DAY
Patricia is in a bridal gown being fussed over by her bridal party as her mother Pearl watches
INCITING INCIDENT – Patricia gets a text – Marry him and I’ll kill you.
Patricia looks to her mother’s Pearl who is lost in thought, remembers…
4 INT. TRIUMPH BAPTIST CHURCH – DAY
Pearl is a young woman – being woo’d by Jesse.
5 INT. PATRICIA’S LIVING ROOM – DAY
Patricia reveals that the text is from her father – Jesse.
6 EXT. SOUTH CANTERBURY ROAD – DAY
A house with a beat-up old car in a garage.
7 INT. PEARL’S LIVING ROOM – DAY
Jesse’s hand opens a gun cabinet. Takes out a rifle.
8 EXT. FIXIT ROAD – DAY
A car races through a red light, picks up speed.
9 INT. PATRICIA’S LIVING ROOM – DAY 3
Bridal party want Patricia to postpone the wedding, but Patricia is determined to go ahead with it. – Pearl thinks back in time to…
10 INT. TRIUMPH BAPTIST CHURCH – DAY
Pearl singing solo in the church choir. Jesse watches her fascinated.
11 EXT. TRIUMPH BAPTIST CHURCH – DAY
Jesse asks Pearl out for a date, but she’s hesitant. Agrees only if he can keep a secret. She…
12 INT. MAUDE’S LIVING ROOM – DAY
Introduces Jesse to her mother Maude, who has a severe mental illness and talks to a wall clock.
13 EXT. MAUDE’S FRONT DOOR – DAY
Pearl is intrigued by Jesse, because he was so good with her mother Maude.
14 INT. TRIUMPH BAPTIST CHURCH – DAY
Pearl sings solo in the choir, Jesse is beside her – now also in the choir.
15 EXT. TRIUMPH BAPTIST CHURCH – DAY
Pearl wants to meet Jesse’s folks.
16 EXT. CITY PARK – DAY
Jesse’s mother Novella warns Pearl that Jesse’s not the one for her.
17 INT. MAUDE’S FRONT DOOR – DAY
Pearl’s brother Drew arrives home on leave from the army.
18 EXT. CITY PARK – DAY
Pearl discusses her worries about Jesse with her brother Drew.
19 INT. JAZZ CLUB – NIGHT
Jesse proposes to Pearl – who accepts
20 INT. PATRICIA’S LIVING ROOM – DAY
Transition from Pearl watching a woman with a young toddler enter to…
21 INT. MAUDE’S LIVING ROOM – DAY
Pearl stares at her new born Patricia, she also has three other kids
22 EXT. WANDA’S HOUSE – DAY
Jesse squeezes past Wanda to enter her house – they both like the encounter.
23 INT. PEARL’S LIVING ROOM – DAY
Patricia celebrates her 13<sup>th</sup> birthday, gets a fishing rod from Jesse.
24 EXT. RIVERSIDE – DAY
Jesse takes Patricia fishing – she meets Wanda.
25 EXT. RIVERSIDE – DUSK
Jesse and Wanda get drunk.
26 INT. JESSE’S CAR – NIGHT
Patricia drives them home.
27 EXT. CITY FREEWAY – NIGHT
Patricia drives the car onto the busy freeway.
28 EXT. TINA’S APARTMENT COMPLEX – NIGHT
Patricia drops Tina off.
29 INT. PEARL’S KITCHEN – NIGHT
Patricia helps Jesse who is still drunk inside.
30 INT. PEARL’S KITCHEN – MORNING
Patricia has breakfast with her mum.
31 INT. PEARL’S LIVING ROOM – MORNING
Uncle Drew comes to stay.
32 INT. PEARL’S DINING ROOM – NIGHT
Family dinner, but Drew is unhappy that Jesse doesn’t show up.
33 INT. KITCHEN – NIGHT
Jesse arrives late.
34 INT. PEARL’S DINING ROOM – NIGHT 23
Drew and Jesse bicker.
35 EXT. PEARL’S UNIT – NIGHT 23 2
Jesse comes home drunk, pulls out his gun, wrestles with Drew, the gun discharges and Draw falls down the stairs.
36 INT. HOSPITAL CORRIDOR – DAY
Doctor explains to Pearl and Patricia about Drew.
37 INT. DREW’S WARD – DAY
Drew reveals he is paralysed.
38 INT. PEARL’S LIVING ROOM – DAY
Drew arrives home after hospital discharge.
39 INT. SHOPPING MALL – DAY
Jesse is with a woman and refuses to acknowledge Patricia as his daughter.
40 INT. PEARL’S LIVING ROOM – DAY
Pearl gets nuisance calls from a woman.
41 INT. PEARL’S KITCHEN – NIGHT
Jesse threatens Patricia re: the mall incident.
ACT 2 – Patricia is determined to find the truth
42 INT. PATRICIA’S BEDROOM – NIGHT
Patricia cries herself to sleep.
43 INT. PATRICIA’S BEDROOM – DAWN
Patricia gets up, determined.
44 INT. PEARL’S KITCHEN – MORNING
Patricia lies to Pearl.
45 EXT. PEARL’S APARTMENT – MORNING
Patricia has Jesse’s car keys.
46 INT. LOCKSMITH – MORNING
Patricia gets a copy of the car keys made.
47 INT. PEARL’S KITCHEN – MORNING
Jesse can’t find his car keys. Turns his house upside down looking for them. Cusses at Pearl. Patricia is too afraid to say she has them.
48 INT. PEARL’S LOUNGE ROOM – MORNING
Drew is annoyed by the ruckus Jesse creates.
49 INT. PATRICIA’S BEDROOM – DAY
Patricia paces her room, unsure what to do.
50 INT. PEARL’S LOUNGE ROOM – MORNING
Patricia pretends to find Jesse’s missing keys when she had them all along.
51 EXT. JESSE’S VAN – MORNING
Patricia hides in Jesse’s van.
52 INT. JESSE’S VAN – MORNING
Jesse cusses as he drives, doesn’t notice Patricia hiding in the back of the van.
53 EXT. HOUSING BLOCK – MORNING
Patricia follows Jesse – realizes Jesse is cheating on her mom and she has a step-brother.
54 EXT. CITY STREETS – DAY
Patricia wanders the streets.
55 EXT. CITY PARK – EVENING
A Bag Lady gives Patricia advice.
56 EXT. STREET CORNER – NIGHT
Patricia asks her brothers for advice about their dad.
57 INT. PEARL’S LIVING ROOM – NIGHT
Patricia’s sister Jade tells her not to stick her nose into dad’s business or it might be worse for their mom.
58 INT. PATRICIA’S BEDROOM – NIGHT
Patricia seeks advice from the bible.
59 INT. PEARL’S LIVING ROOM – NIGHT
Jesse’s behaviour upsets Drew.
60 INT. PEARL’S KITCHEN – NIGHT
Drew shows Jesse his strength.
61 INT. PEARL’S LIVING ROOM – NIGHT
Jesse storms off.
62 INT. PEARL’S DINING ROOM – DAY
Jesse is annoyed by the amount of sticky notes Pearl has on the fridge. Complains about her being stupid.
63 EXT. PEARL’S HOUSE – DAY
Patricia goes to school.
64 EXT. PEARL’S HOUSE – DAY
Drew helps Pearl with the shopping.
65 INT. PEARL’S KITCHEN – DAY
Sticky notes in kitchen increase. Pearl gets defensive when Patricia asks her about them.
65 A INT. PEARL’S LIVING ROOM – DAY
Pearl gets a call – she missed a medical appointment.
66 INT. PEARL’S DINING ROOM – NIGHT
Jesse takes an instant dislike to Patricia’s boyfriend Blake as he is a preacher. Jesse reveals he thinks religion is all a scam and that he never forgave God when his favourite aunt died.
67 EXT. PEARL’S HOUSE – DAY
Patricia and Blake discuss Jesse.
68 EXT. RIVERSIDE – DAY
Blake tries to make friends with Jesse by fishing with him. Jesse is not won over so easy.
71 EXT. PARK – DAY
Drew and Pearl go shopping.
72 INT. GROCERY STORE – DAY
Drew and Pearl shopping.
73 INT. PEARL’S LIVING ROOM – DAY
Drew has a chest pain.
74 INT. PEARL’S KITCHEN – DAY
Pearl can’t find Drew’s pills.
75 INT. PEARL’S LIVING ROOM – DAY
Pearl finds Drew dead.
76 EXT. CEMETERY – DAY
Drew’s funeral – Patricia has argument with siblings about Pearl’s care.
76A – INT. JESSE’S HOUSE – DAY
Patricia confronts Jesse about Pearl – Jesse tells her to butt out and mind her own business.
ACT 3 – Patricia takes on the caring role for Pearl
77 EXT. PATRICIA’S HOUSE – NIGHT
Jesse confronts Blake about he and Patricia taking Pearl from him.
78 INT. PATRICIA’S LIVING ROOM
Back to Patricia in bridal gown about to get married.
79 EXT. PATRICIA’S HOUSE
Patricia gets into limo to go to church.
80 INT. CHURCH – DAY
Blake makes excuses for Patricia not showing.
81 INT. LIMOUSINE – DAY
Patricia asks limo driver to take her to church.
82 INT. PEARL’S GARAGE – DAY
Jesse stares at the gun in his hand. About to go to church.
83 EXT. CHURCH – DAY
Limo drives to church – Patricia thinks she saw her brother driving the other way.
84 EXT. FIXIT ROAD – DAY
Vic parks behind Jesse’s car blocking him in.
85 INT. JESSE’S CAR – DAY
Jesse and Vic wrestle over the gun.
86 EXT. CHURCH – DAY
Patricia and Blake marry.
87 INT. CHURCH – DAY
Patricia and Blake dance the bridal waltz
88 INT. PATRICIA’S CAR – DAY
Patricia take Pearl to look at some nursing homes.
89 EXT. GENTLE FOLK NURSING HOME
Patricia hopes this nursing home is better than the others.
90 INT. GENTLE FOLK – NURSE’S STATION – DAY
Patricia likes this nursing home.
91 INT. GENTLE FOLK – PEARL’S ROOM – AFTERNOON
Patricia settles Pearl into the nursing home.
92 EXT. GENTLE FOLK NURSING HOME – DAY
Patricia worries she did the right thing.
92A – JESSE’S HOUSE – DAY
Jesse finds out about the nursing home and is riled up – cusses Patricia. Tells her I’ll never forgive you, never!
93 EXT. GENTLE FOLK NURSING HOME – MORNING
Pearl boards the bus for activity centre.
94 EXT. GENTLE FOLK NURSING HOME – AFTERNOON
Pearl arrives back from activity centre.
95 INT. GENTLE FOLK – NURSE’S STATION – AFTERNOON
Pearl feels like she’s home. She forgives Patricia for putting her here.
96 INT. GENTLE FOLK – PEARL’S ROOM – NIGHT
Patricia visits Pearl.
97 INT. GENTLE FOLK – PEARL’S ROOM – AFTERNOON
Pearl secretes food.
98 INT. GENTLE FOLK – PEARL’S ROOM – NIGHT
Patricia discovers Pearl’s food stash.
99 INT. GENTLE FOLK – NURSE’S STATION – AFTERNOON
Patricia worries about her mother’s condition getting worse.
100 EXT. GENTLE FOLK NURSING HOME – DAY
Pearl gets off the bus – walks past the nursing home.
101 INT. PATRICIA’S WORK – DAY
Patricia gets a call from Nursing Home – is your mom with you?
102 INT. GENTLE FOLK – NURSE’S STATION – DAY
Nurse explains Pearl is missing.
103 INT. PATRICIA’S WORK – DAY
Patricia rushes out of work.
104 EXT. PATRICIA’S WORK – DAY
Patricia calls Blake – I need your help.
105 INT. BLAKE’S WORK – DAY
Blake asks others to help him.
106 INT. PATRICIA’S CAR – DAY
PATRICIA drives looking for Pearl. Desperate she calls JESSE.
106A – JESSE’S HOUSE – DAY
Jesse cusses Patricia out again, tells her – I told you not to put her in that damn Nursing home. You lost her, you find her.
107 EXT. CITY STREETS – DUSK
Blake and his helpers scour the street looking for Pearl.
108 INT. PATRICIA’S CAR – NIGHT
PATRICIA gets a call about Pearl.
109 INT. DOG SHELTER – NIGHT
SHELTER WORKER shows Patricia where Pearl is.
110 INT. GENTLE FOLK – NURSE’S STATION – DAY
PATRICIA told that they can’t let Pearl go to activity outings any more.
111 INT. PATRICIA’S LOUNGE ROOM – MORNING
Patricia and Blake play with their first child.
112 INT. HOSPITAL – NURSE’S STATION – MORNING
VAL calls Patricia about Pearl.
113 INT. HOSPITAL – NURSE’S STATION – MORNING
Pearl has MRSA. Patricia has to suit up.
114 INT. HOSPITAL – ROOM 202 – MORNING
PATRICIA runs away as her mother dies.
115 INT. FUNERAL HOME A – DAY
PATRICIA picks a coffin for Pearl. Jesse disagrees with the funeral ceremony. Tells Patricia he will organise another funeral and she’s not invited.
115A – FUNERAL HOME B – DAY
Jesse at a different funeral. Other family members are there – no Patricia.
116 INT. PATRICIA’S LIVING ROOM – NIGHT
Christmas Eve – Patricia is teary-eyed.
117 INT. PATRICIA’S LIVING ROOM – NIGHT
Patricia calls someone.
118 INT. DINER – NIGHT
Patricia meets with Jesse. Calls him out for his bad behaviour, then forgives him.
-
Pat’s Beat Sheet Draft 2
What I learned doing this assignment is incorporating adds clarity to the message. Flagging Antagonism helps develop point/counterpoint, adding tension to the play.
Ira Aldridge Beat Sheet w/ Theme & Antagonist
THEME: Overcoming adversity, especially racism, on the road to success
Act 1:
Opening:
Int. African Free School – Day
Ira receives high scores in declamation. A teacher asks if he’d ever considered acting.
Theme: Ira’s Declamation, which addresses the pursuit of dreams as an African American but also incorporates a quote from Shakespeare “The robbed that smiles, steals something from the thief.”
Int. African Grove Theater – Day
Ira watches rehearsals and mimics the actors.
Int. African Grove Theater – Night
He watches play and falls in love with theater.
Int. Aldridge Home – Day
Ira share his excitement with his sick mother. She loves his enthusiasm and encourages him to act out parts. She advises him to follow his heart.
Ira’s father interrupts and disapproves and makes Ira come with him to sell straw.
Ext. NY Streets – Day
Daniel discourages Ira from spending time in the theater and speaks of his need to follow in his footsteps lecturing him on his missionary obligation to save blacks.
Int. Aldridge Home – Day
At 10, Ira’s mother dies – Ira runs home to tell his mother, but the somber expression on his father’s face says it all.
Int. Church Cemetery – Day
Ira is heartbroken…
Int. African Grove Theater – Night
… but his desire to become an actor continues.
Int. Aldridge Home – Night
Ira and his brother sneak out of the house.
Int. African Grove Theater – Night
Ira and his brother perform to rousing applause.
Int. African Free School – Day
Ira learns he has been quickly declared an African Roscius.
Int. Aldridge Home – Day
Daniel remarries, and the tension heats up in the Aldridge household. Ira tells his brother he can’t stay.
Int. African Free School – Day
At 15, Ira graduates.
Ext. Port of NY – Day
Ira leaves home to work on a ship headed to NC. A slave trader offers to buy him. The captain , aware Ira is a free man and having promised Ira safe passage, turns down the offer. Ira overhears it, and having seen the indecency of slave treatment, becomes frightened.
Int. Aldridge Home – Day
Ira returns home deciding seafaring is not the life for him. Daniel begins insisting he prepare for theology school.
Int. Church – Day
Daniel preaches, showing off is strong oratory skills. Ira sits behind him in the pulpit.
Int. African Grove Theater – Night
Daniel and his brother perform in “Romeo and Juliette” to thunderous applause.
Ext. NY Streets – Night
Antagonist: One day Ira his brother, and other black actors, are beaten by a white gang who resent blacks performing Shakespeare or other plays written by whites. His mentor, Brown, encourages him to fight back and file a law suit against his attackers.
Int. Courthouse – Day
Ira files a law suit against his attackers.
Ext. African Grove Theater – Night
The theater is burned down and Brown says he’s leaving the city.
Int. Chatham Garden Theater – Day
Ira accompanies a friend who delivers costumes to a famous white actor.
Int. Chatham Garden Theater – Night
Henry. Ira watches Henry perform in the wings. Mimics him. Congratulates him but Henry takes little notice. Ira’s friend is showing signs of illness.
Ext. NY Streets – Day
Ira waits for his friend, but he doesn’t show. Another mutual friend informs him that his friend died of yellow fever.
Inciting Incident:
Int. Chatham Garden Theater – Day
After Ira’s friend dies of yellow fever, Ira convinces Henry to let him take on the role of valet, and makes himself indispensable by also running errands for him. Henry learns of Ira’s passions. Ira shows off is skills. Henry suggests Ira join him on his return to London and how they might be able to pull it off. When Ira shares his previous experience on ship, Henry explains the English abandoned the slave trade 17 years earlier. The proposition is very attractive to Ira.
Theme: Henry Uses a Shakespearean quote , “What is past is prologue” – You have a decision to make.
Ext. Church – Day
A church member fawns over Daniel’s sermon as the family stands next to him. When Daniel tells her when Ira graduates theology school and tells her he’s enrolled Ira, this is news to Ira.
Int. Aldridge Home – Day
Ira, Daniel and Ira’s stepmother argue over Ira’s plans. Daniel objects to the notion of Ira acting as a servant to Henry. Ira sees it as a road to becoming proficient in acting to build a network.
PLACEHOLDER: Ira agrees to attend.
Int. College – Day
Ira sees a performing arts paper that says Henry is returning to NY to perform. Ira informs the administration that he is leaving school for other pursuits.
Int. Aldridge Home – Night
Ira stands up to Daniel and tells him he’s leaving to pursue acting in London. His father tells him if he leaves, he cannot return. Ira is crushed by the ultimatum.
Int. Chatham Garden Theater – Night
Ira arrives too late to catch Henry’s performance. When he runs to the dressing room, it is empty. Ira learns Henry is returning to England the next day. Ira just misses him as he departs.
Ext. NY Streets – Day
Ira sleeps on the streets.
PLACEHOLDER: Danger is present.
Ext. Port of NY – Day
PLACE HOLDER: Ira faces obstacles before he can locate Henry.
Act 1 Turning Point:
Int. Ship – Day
Ira voyages with Henry to London.
Act 2:
New plan:
Int. Henry’s Home – Day
Ira is excited about his new opportunities in England.
Int. English Theater – Day
He builds a network while tending to Henry and watching his mentor in the wings.
Int. English Theater – Night
Ira effectively operates as an understudy.
Plan in action:
Int. Henry’s Home – Day
Henry is impressed by Ira’s recitations of his performance. Henry coaches him.
Int. English Theater – Night
Henry falls ill, he recommends Ira fill in. Ira has a successful, passionate performance. Most of the audience receives Ira’s performance with enthusiasm. Gilbert watches in the audience.
Ext. London Streets – Day
Antagonists: Ira picks up a paper and reads a scathing review from Gilbert. Gilbert who uses race as weapon against Ira. He picks up another paper and another and sees multiple negative reviews.
Int. Hospital – Day
Ira visits Henry and shares the discouraging news. Henry encourages him to ignore the critics and they discuss the dynamics.
Theme: Henry’s advice is from Othello: “O, beware, my lord, of jealousy:
It is the green-eyed monster which doth mock the meat it feeds on.”Ext. Hospital – Day
Ira runs into Margaret, an Englishwoman, who recognizes him and expresses her disagreement with Gilbert and others. She is as incensed by Gilbert’s lies as Ira is.
PLACEHOLDER: Ira and Margaret’s courtship.
PLACEHOLDER: Ira marries Margaret.
PLACEHOLDER: Henry’s recovery and return.
Int. Royal Coburg Theatre – Day
Ira strikes a deal with a Theater owner/Manager.
Int. Royal Coburg Theater – Day
Ira becomes the first African-American actor to establish an acting career in a foreign country, starting with a 7-week run at the Royal Coburg Theatre in London in 1825, (his second job).
Ext. London Streets – Day
Ira speaks publicly as an abolitionist.
Midpoint Turning Point:
Int. Restaurant – Day
Colonists still using slave labor conspire with publishers to pressure theater owners/managers to end their relationship with Ira or to refuse to hire him. Ira has difficulty finding work.
Theme: “Let me embrace thee, sour adversity, for wise men say it is the wisest course.”
Int. Theater – Day
Ira attends a performance by a popular, traveling minstrel who mocks him in black face and “re-enacts” his performances as a bumbling, illiterate fool. Ira feels humiliated.
Act 3:
Rethink everything:
Int. Ira’s Home – Day
Other critics decry Gilbert’s taunts. Ira and Margaret see an opportunity to spin his background to further influence his reviews. They also discuss how he will respond to the traveling minstrel.
New plan:
Int. London Theater – Night
Ira fights back by creating a show in which he parodies the parody in white-face. He also performs various musical acts. His performances are well received.
Int. Theater – Day – Series of Performances
Ira turns to playing in provincial towns where audiences love him.
Int. Hotel – Day
Ira and Margaret – read the critics reviews in which he his lauded for his work.
Int. Gilbert’s Office – Day
Antagonist: Gilbert is angry Ira is receiving warm audience receptions and positive reviews. He regurgitates his old reviews.
Int. Hotel – Day
Ira and Margaret chide Gilbert as being desperate. They read critiques of Gilbert from his competition who suggest he change his ways.
Int. Royal Convent Garden
Super: 1833
Ira performs the title Role in “Othello,” filling in for Edmund Kean, Britain’s most famous Shakespearean actor. Ira becomes the first black from any country to play a title role in a London theater. The audience loves it. But Gilbert is there, despising Ira’s performance.
Ira’s Home – Day
Antagonist: Ira and Margaret read Gilbert’s critique, recognizing he has ratcheted up the pressure by citing how he was sickened at seeing Gilbert “paw” his white leading lady.
Theme: Ira quotes from Othello regarding racism, Reputation, reputation, reputation! O, I have lost my reputation! I have lost the immortal part of myself, and what remains is bestial.
Fortunately, the buzz created in the provincial press, grabs the attention of the world stage. Still unable to book major London theaters, Ira decides to perform internationally.
Theme: “Wise men ne’er sit and wail their loss but cheerily seek how to redress their harms.”
Turning Point – Major shift:
Int. International Theaters – Series of Performances – Night
Ira then turns to the international stage where his performances are in high demand all over the world.
He meets a famous artist in the Ukraine who paints portraits of him. In Paris, he shakes hands with Hans Christian Anderson who publicizes the fact.
PLACEHOLDER: Ira and Margaret stroll together where they recap and revel in the superlative accolades he receives, and of his numerous metals and awards from International Royalty, including the King up Prussia in 1848. 1852, Ira is the first actor knighted by the German Duke Bernhard of Saxe-Meiningen. They cannot be ignored.
Act 4:
Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict:
PLACEHOLDER: Ira is honored by Queen Victoria, and booked in a major London theater.
Antagonist: Gilbert finally writes a favorable review of Ira before dying.
Theme: Ira quotes from Hamlet. “He was an man, take him for all in all. I shall not look upon his like again.” (TBD)
Resolution:
PLACEHOLDER: The US Civil War ends. Ira makes plans to return to the U.S. but on his European tour, he dies in Poland.
Ira expresses a desire to be immortalized, but does not think it will happen
Theme: Before dying, Ira reflects on is regrets of not spending more time with his children. He quotes Macbeth on death: “Out, out, brief candle! Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player That struts and frets his hour upon the stage, And then is heard no more: it is a tale Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, Signifying nothing.”
Int. Coventry Theater, London – Day
In 2017, the “Blue Plaque” is unveiled in his honor, posthumously.
Log in to reply.