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Post Your Lesson 9 Assignment Here
Reply and post your assignment here.
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28 Replies
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Janeen’s Act 1: Opening Scenes
What I learned doing this assignment is that the more I focused on the mindset created by the empowerment work, the easier and faster this went.
WHAT I ALSO LEARNED — I NEED A GOOD WAY TO KEEP SCREENPLAY FORMATTING WHEN PASTING IN HERE.
IDEAS, ANYONE???
1 INT. MAMA’S HOUSE – DAY
Christmas decorations, well-worn furniture and family photos
on an occasional table instead of a mantle. Younger people
in the photos are nearly all fit and trim while anyone over
25 is trending heavier.
JYMIMA (JYM) WALKER is Black, fifty pounds overweight, yet
fit, and wears casual gym gear and a Christmas-themed
sweatshirt. She ponders the photos with a mix of nostalgia
and concern.
DOCTOR BENJAMIN (BEN) WALKER, Black, trim and fit, late 30’s
strides into the room, from the kitchen and stands erect
next to Jym.
BEN
I see you haven’t been following the
diet I gave you at Thanksgiving.
Jym picks up Ben and Ashley’s wedding photo. She lightly
traces Ashley’s slim figure in the photo. Ben has changed
little. Jym was the bridesmaid and also trim.
JYM
I did for about a week, but –
BEN
But you didn’t have the willpower to
stick with it?
JYM
How’s Ashley doing on it?
BEN
(mildly embarrassed)
Not much better.
JYM
I’m not surprised.
BEN
What’s that supposed to mean?
JYM
It means that every time you give us
an impossible diet to follow, you
blame us when we fail, never the
diet, because it came from the great
Doctor Walker, endocrinologist
extraordinaire. Haven’t you even
wondered why we can’t stick to your
diets?
BEN
Not really. You’re weak when it
comes to food.
She turns away, angry, mortified, nearly in tears.
BEN
Jym, you run a gym. You have all
day to exercise. Ashley’s cooks for
me and the kids and doesn’t have
time for a gym. You have no excuse.
None. I thought cosigning for the
gym would keep you from ending up
like the rest of the family, but
instead, you’ve let yourself go.
2 INT. GUEST BEDROOM – DAY
ASHLEY, Ben’s overweight (about 100 pounds), diabetic, very
pretty wife gives her husband a come hither look as she enters
the bedroom to get her insulin kit out of her purse. BEN
follows and immediately puts his arms around her, pulls her
in close and kisses her neck passionately.
She pulls back enough to speak, but is quickly silenced with
a kiss after each phrase.
ASHLEY
I have to – take my – insulin – before
we – eat.
BEN
So do it.
He kisses her neck again. She giggles and tosses the insulin
kit on the dresser. They fall back on the bed.
MAMA knocks on the door, but doesn’t open it.
MAMA
I can hear that bed creaking. We’re
eating in 10 minutes to don’t go too
far.
She chuckles as she walks away and Ben and Ashley burst out
laughing on the bed.
ASHLEY
I’m so tired. Can I take a little
nap before dinner?
BEN
I’m afraid not. No rest for the
weary.
(suddenly in doctor
mode)
I’m going to try to get Uncle Jerome
to include you in a study he’s doing
on a new diet. I think that’s him.
Ben gets up, pulls Ashley to her feet and hands her the
insulin kit.
BEN
Up the dose a little. You know it’s
impossible to resist Mama’s cooking.
Ben leaves the room and Ashley sets about getting her shot
ready.
3 INT. MAMA’S HOUSE – DAY
DOCTOR UNCLE JEROME WALKER (UNCLE JEROME) enters the house.
Tall, lanky, professorial in nature, satisfied as though
master of all he sees.
JYM rushes to throw her arms around him and he gives her a
hearty hug.
UNCLE JEROME
Jym, my pet. How are you? Are you
a millionaire yet from that gym of
yours?
Jym gives him a playful swat.
JYM
I’m keeping my head above water —
just. Everybody’s gathered in the
dining room. Let me get your coat.
Jym takes his coat. Doc emerges from the bedroom, solicitous
and fawning like a starstruck kid.
BEN
Doctor Walker. It’s good to see
you.
UNCLE JEROME
It’s good to see you, Doctor Walker.
How’s your practice going?
Ben takes a peek outside over Uncle Jerome’s shoulder as
they do a quick guy hug.
BEN
Not as good as yours. Is that a new
Mercedes? The clinical trial business
must be thriving.
UNCLE JEROME
It’s okay. You’d see that for
yourself if you’d move to XYZ and
join my practice.
BEN
I’d love to and I swear I would move
if you could get Ashley into one of
your new diet trials.
As they enter the dining room, Jerome grabs one of Jym’s
hands.
UNCLE JEROME
Today’s about family. Sit by me
Jymmie. Tell me all about your love
life and all the men that are hounding
you night and day.
Jym laughs and sits next to him while Ben is rebuffed. Ashley
emerges from the bedroom and he quickly escorts her back in
the bedroom and kisses her with gusto. They quickly fall
onto the bed.
BEN
Remember the first time we did this?
ASHLEY
Christmas Day, nearly twenty-two
years ago. We were kids.
He kisses her.
BEN
We were in high school and your mama
had just given you permission to
date me.
ASHLEY
She gave me permission to eat
Christmas dinner with your family,
not date.
BEN
True, but I couldn’t resist then and
I can’t now.
Mama is outside the door again.
MAMA
We’re ready to eat. You two lovebirds
come out here before we all come in
to watch the show.
They laugh and scramble off the bed.
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This reply was modified 4 years, 1 month ago by Janeen Johnson.
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Hi Janeen
My formatting when I pasted into the course doc works alright. I wrote in Final Draft and then copied and pasted. It’s not great but not too bad.
Sam
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Sam,
Thanks for the response. Everything was smushed to the left (which yours is too), but mine had no spaces between lines. I’ll correct the spacing, but won’t worry about the leftward slam. Thanks!
Janeen
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I know. I’m having the same problem re formatting.
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This reply was modified 4 years, 1 month ago by
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Sam Reynolds – Opening and Character Scene
I found that breaking down the scenes into beginning, middle and end very helpful. Also great to always be reminded that I can go back and re-work things.
EXT. NADINE AND JOHNNY’S HOME – DAY
It is early morning. In the dawn light we come upon a small yet quaint bungalow in a family friendly neighborhood.
INT. NADINE AND JOHNNY’S HOME – DAY
Different shots show the quaint, immaculate and cozy home.
The kitchen has colorful backsplash and there are flowers on the kitchen table.
The small living area has photos of Nadine and Johnny traveling together, skiing and some of Nadine with her pregnant belly at her recent baby shower.
INT. NADINE AND JOHNNY’S BEDROOM/HALLWAY – EARLY MORNING
We are in darkness except for two slivers of daylight peeking out from the blinds covering a bedroom window. Two bodies are in the king sized bed. One of the bodies, NADINE, early 40s, is sitting up staring into the semi-darkness. She has been up all night and looks exhausted.
She looks onto the beside table to an older looking analogue alarm clock. It reads 6.30 AM.
Nadine reaches over and gently nudges JOHNNY, early 30s.
NADINE
Johnny, baby, get up. It’s time. We are going to be late.
Johnny doesn’t move. Nadine pushes herself out of bed, this is an effort as she is very pregnant, waddles to the window and pulls up the blinds revealing a simple yet immaculate and colorful bedroom. Not quite college but not “we’ve made it” yet.
Johnny slowly rustles himself awake.
JOHNNY
Time already?
Johnny searches the bed for his phone.
NADINE
Looking for this?
Nadine playfully throws Johnny’s cel phone to him.
NADINE
Please hurry it up. I don’t want to be late.
Nadine waddles out.
INT. HALLWAY – MORNING
Nadine walks down the hallway. She passes a closed door with a stencil of a small giraffe on it.
EXT. GAS STATION – MORNING
Their Toyota pulls into the gas station. Johnny gets out.
INT. TOYOTA – MORNING
Johnny is on the outside pumping gas. Nadine is alone in the car. She looks out the window. Too early on a Sunday for much to be happening. She takes some deep breaths and caresses her belly.
From outside, Johnny motions drinking a cup of coffee. Nadine smiles a “yes.” Johnny runs into the gas station coffee shop.
INT. TOYOTA – LATER
The door opens and Johnny hands Nadine her coffee. Nadine takes a sip. This is not what she expected.
JOHNNY
What?
NADINE
There’s creme in this?
JOHNNY
I asked them for milk. It’s not milk?
NADINE
No. It’s not. I can’t drink this.
JOHNNY
I’ll change it.
NADINE
No it’s ok. A few sips won’t bother me.
JOHNNY
No. I paid for milk and that is what I am going to get you.
NADINE
Really Johnny it’s fine.
JOHNNY
No. I’ll be right back.
NADINE
It’s only 1.50.
JOHNNY
Doesn’t matter. What matters is that I asked for something and didn’t get it. It’s their fault. I am going to change it.
Johnny takes the coffee from Nadine and marches into the store.
From the car, Nadine can see him berating the young person working.
Tears begin forming in Nadine’s eyes though we are not sure why.
EXT. TOYOTA – DAY
Johnny exits the coffee shop and walks to the car. He hands Nadine the coffee.
JOHNNY
At least I feel better now.
Johnny now notices Nadine.
Johnny leans over and brings Nadine into a tight embrace.
After a moment, Johnny wipes away her tears. He understands what is happening.
Johnny holds her hand for a moment.
Nadine settles down.
Johnny starts the car and they exit the gas station.
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Renee’s Act I Opening Scene
What I learned doing this assignment is that taking a few minutes to outline what will happen in a scene makes it easier to quickly write the scene.
EXT. PARK – DAY
MIA ROBERTS, 19 slouches on a park bench overlooking the San Francisco Bay. The Golden Gate Bridge is barely visible through the dense fog, the sun hours from punching through the thick clouds blanketing the bay.
A sketchbook sits in her lap, a charcoal pencil is gripped tight in her right hand as it flies across the page. Every few seconds her head whips up before bowing back down.
An older MAN and WOMAN in their late 60s stroll up the path, arm in arm, leaning into one another as if they are sharing a secret.
Mia looks up and smiles. Her eyes track the couple as they stroll past her. She sighs. She glances at her watch.
MIA
Shit
She hurries to put her sketchbook and pencil in the messenger bag sitting next to her. She looks down and spots a blooming dandelion. She bends down a plucks it from the ground. She closes her eyes.
MIA
I wish I could find the kind of love that lasts a lifetime.
She opens her eyes and blows. She smiles as the white seeds drift into the air. She sighs and takes off down the path.
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Clendon – Act 1: Opening Scenes
[1] What I learned doing this assignment? How to outline and fill in high-concept points in Act One without getting bogged down in the details. Just need 4 scenes: (1) Opening, (2) Inciting incident, (3) Heroes reaction, (4) Turning point to lock in the journey. The rest is filler and detail scenes to carry the theme, character(s) arcs and plot.
[2] Go to your Beat Sheet and find the opening scene & a second lead character introduction. Create a simple outline those scenes for those two scenes.
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OPENING SCENE BEAT SHEET
INT. HOME – DAY
(antagonist) JR breaks into a home, moves quietly towards a woman’s voice talking on the phone
…becomes…
OPENING SCENE OUTLINE
INT. HOME – DAY
BEGINNING: JR moves stealthily through a home, towards a woman’s voice.
MIDDLE: We see woman is talking on the phone. JR makes his presence known. Woman pleads with him; clearly they know one another. They argue over her son and his resentment of her.
END: JR shoots her. She falls to the floor dead. JR takes her crucifix and plants fake evidence.
===============================================================
SECOND SCENE BEAT SHEET
EXT. CITY PARK – DAY
(protagonist) Clendon and Gina are having a picnic, drinking wine, making out.
…becomes…
SECOND SCENE OUTLINE
EXT. CITY PARK – DAY
BEGINNING: Clendon is with his Girl (Gina) enjoying a picnic: talking, flirting, pouring wine.
MIDDLE: They are accosted by a woman claiming to be a detective. Clendon doesn’t take her serious; thinks his dad hired her to pretend to be a cop, so he can be controlling.
END: Clendon takes the detective down, handcuffs her, ignores her threats. He tells Gina to let her up after he’s left. He walks off strumming “Wanted, Dead or Alive” on his guitar.
——————————
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[3] Write your Opening scene that introduces a lead character; either your Protagonist or Antagonist.
Opening scene: (Antagonist)
INT. HOME – DAY
BEGINNING: Man we cannot see, moves stealthily thru a fancy home toward the sound of a woman’s voice talking on the phone.
MIDDLE: Antagonist steps into the kitchen; the two know one another. She sees the gun in his hand.
END: Antagonist accuses her of not loving her son and keeping him shackled. She argues otherwise. He shoots her in the chest; she falls to the floor and dies. He SNEEZES.
======================================
[4] Write the scene that introduces the other lead character.
Introductory scene: (Protagonist)
EXT. PARK – DAY
BEGINNING: Klendon and Gina pour wine, talk, flirt; he shows her his crucifix
MIDDLE: Klendon explains the story behind a Celtic crucifix, how each arm of the cross represent a track to immortal wisdom. He puts it around her neck, tells her it’ll keep her safe.
END: Gina is moved; they kiss.
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After reviewing this assignment, I feel for the first time it’s all coming together now. I have a better understanding of my protagonist’s and antagonist journey and arcs.
Ricardo Williams ACT 1 The Protagonist scene:
INT. HOTEL – DAY
JOLYN looks at the door of the hotel room with the number 309. She knocks. The door opens slightly.
HARDY GROVE:
Come in JOLYN. (His deep baritone voice has an eerie feeling of seduction).
JOLYN steps back realizing that HARDY is in a robe.
HARDY grabs JOLYN by the arm and places a knife against her neck. He pulls her into his room.
JOLYN:
What the fuck’s wrong with you?
HARDY GROVE:
Be quiet.
HARDY locks the door.
JOLYN:
HARDY, you don’t have to do this. You know what I want, and I know what you want. Let me make it easy on you.
HARDY GROVE:
What do you mean?
JOLYN:
You want me, don’t you?
HARDY GROVE:
As a matter of fact, I do.
JOLYN:
I know all about your reputation. They told me you are the Gentle Giant. I guess, I missed the gentle part?
I am willing to sleep with you.
HARDY GROVE:
(HARDY clears his throat). You are? (He looks puzzled). I can be gentle.
JOLYN:
I will like that, but first, business before pleasure. Let me have the signed contract you promised. Allow me to hang up my coat and my purse if you don’t mind.
HARDY nods his head in the direction of the closet.
HARDY GROVE:
It’s over there.
JOLYN takes her time. She hangs up her purse and her coat and walks back to HARDY.
JOLYN:
The contract?
HARDY GROVE:
Here it is.
HARDY nervously puts the signed contract on a desk. JOLYN reads it carefully and signs it. She folds it and takes it back to her purse. She puts the contract in and picks up a small bottle containing PEPPER and empties the contents in her hand and walks back to Hardy.
JOLYN:
Now you can remove your robe.
Hardy drops his robe on the floor exposing his brown hairy buttocks.
HARDY GROVE:
Are you going to undress?
JOLYN:
I have weight issues. I prefer my clothes on.
JOLYN walks closer to HARDY. She pretends she is going to kiss him. She puts her left hand on his face and draws him closer. She uses her right hand and rubs the pepper into his eyes. He screams. She knees him in his testicles. HARDY stumbles uncontrollably with his eyes inflamed and closed. JOLYN guides him to the door, unlocks it, and pushes him out of the room. She locks the door. She picks up the phone and dials a number.
FRONT DESK:
Front desk, how may I help?
JOLYN:
There is a naked gentleman locked out of room 309. He will need a robe. Can you let him in?
JOLYN picks up her purse and coat and stands at the door. As the front desk opens the door, JOLYN walks out. She passes a whimpering HARDY.
JOLYN:
Bye HARDY. Thanks for the contract.
Ricardo Williams Act 1 PART 2 The Antagonist Scene:
INT. OFFICE OF BALDWIN ICE CREAM CO – DAY
JOLYN and CHARLOTTE meets with TROY THOMAS to discuss the operations.
JOLYN:
TROY, let me introduce to my sister CHARLOTTE. CHARLOTTE has a degree in Business Management from Fisk University. We want to discuss the operations with you to see how we can improve things. We are very concerned about the future of the company. How are things in your opinion?
TROY THOMAS:
Things are great. It could be better, but it is great. Business is good.
JOLYN:
Do you see any ways we can improve things?
TROY THOMAS:
Not really. Everything is great. I mean not great, but it is good.
JOLYN:
What do you think will make things great?
TROY THOMAS:
I don’t know. Maybe more sales?
JOLYN:
More sales is always a good thing. I have noticed some flaws in our operations. The drivers never seem to follow their schedules. That is not good for our reputation as a company. It is not good for business. I think we can fix that. CHARLOTTE?
CHARLOTTE:
Yes. Punctuality is very important. I would like to sit down with you and workout drivers’ schedules. I want us to hold them accountable to their schedules.
TROY THOMAS:
Are you saying you want to workout schedules or are asking me to do it? I can do it. I don’t need help.
JOLYN:
TROY, CHARLOTTE will do the schedules. She doesn’t need your help. Another thing, we are changing the focus of the company to Wholesale. We would be visiting some of the big companies to get more shelf space and expand our market. I, myself will network with other women in business.
TROY THOMAS:
What makes you think these White own companies are going to open their doors to a Black owned product? We’ve had Jesse Jackson and the Rainbow Coalition for years trying to make it happen and it didn’t. Sure, they gave us some space to make it look like they want our products, but they are never expanding their shelves for us.
JOLYN:
You are right. It is going to be a challenge.
TROY THOMAS:
These people only see dollars and unless we making a lot of money, they are going to ignore us.
JOLYN:
Another thing we are changing is office etiquette. We want to ensure that everyone is treated with respect. We want to address each other by last name and title MR., MRS, or MS.
TROY THOMAS:
I may need a raise. You are asking for a lot.
JOLYN:
Help us achieve the results we are looking for and then we can talk about a raise. And if you can’t, then I am happy to do it for you.
TROY THOMAS:
Do what?
JOLYN:
Run the company.
TROY THOMAS:
You can’t run the company. Last time I checked you were a housewife. The employees won’t take you seriously. They respect me. They only respond to what I say.
JOLYN:
Tell you what TROY. I will run the company until you commit to my terms. After all I am the one paying the bills around here, and I am the one paying your salary.
JOLYN
is visibly annoyed. She gets up from her desk and walks to the main floor and
calls for an abrupt meeting.-
This reply was modified 4 years, 1 month ago by Ricardo Williams.
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This reply was modified 4 years, 1 month ago by
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Becky’s Act 1: Opening Scenes – What I
learned doing this assignment is that I still don’t have to have all
the answers. Super hard to keep moving along. I so badly want to stop
and add information. But I’m done already.1st Character (and a bit of the 2nd Character) Intro
INT. GEM THEATER AUDITORIUM – DAY
Beginning: Dana sits in the center of
the empty theater auditorium with a historical vaudeville book open
in her lap. The curtains are closed.Middle: The curtains open Ade starts
singing next to an accompanied grand piano, Dana whispers along with
the song.End: Dana’s eyes are closed – wind
blows through and blows book shut, Dana’s eyes open the curtains are
closed.INT. GEM THEATER – LOBBY/AUDITORIUM
Beginning: Theater guide calls Dana’s
name from the Lobby.Middle: Dana hears Ade singing as she
walks up aisle. The guide appears in doorway at lobby entrance. The
singing stops. Guide asks if all okay.End: Dana turns to look at stage. The
curtains ripple. Dana looks at guide for any indication that she saw the curtain. Nothing.2nd Character Intro (she is in bits and pieces but truly first interaction)
<title></title><style type=”text/css”>
</style>INT. GREEN ROOM – NIGHT
Beginning: Dana searches dressing room.
Dana whispers 1906, then whispers Ade.Middle: Dana sure door is closed and
turns on the light. Looks around and comes to a stop in front of
mirror. Dana clears her throat. Says Ade out loud pauses. Says 1906.End: Rift appears in mirror.
INT. RIFT – NIGHT
Beginning: A diamond shaped water
puddle on the huge dressing room mirror shimmers at Dana.Middle: A smaller dressing room appears
in the rift and then Ade. Shocked, Dana backs away. Ade stops her and
talks her back to the mirror.End: Ade convinces Dana to step through
rift into Ade’s world.<title></title><style type=”text/css”>
</style> -
Assignment 9
Aleta Rafton’s Act 1: Opening Scenes
What I learned writing this is that I can create events to amplify the relationship between the protagonist and the antagonist
I did not add dialog yet
ACT 1
Interior Living room with Christmas Tree, TV Christmas show on, dusk New Year’s Eve
Opening Scene: Closeup on hands of Stepdad applying tracking device locator he invented and then extremely carefully wrapping each ornament in bubble wrap and placing in storage box. Moves on to next ornament. Christmas music playing on TV show.
Stepdad and Mom are dressed as Indiana Jones with a whip and his female sidekick for a costume New Year’s Eve Party they are going to shortly.
Boy ridicules/imitates Stepdad wrapping ornaments in front of mom. Boy is muttering within earshot of his mom about what a jerk the Stepdad is. Boy complains they will never finish taking ornaments off the tree.
Stepdad reaches to remove the boy’s favorite ornament off the tree when the boy screams “STOP! Don’t touch that” The boy’s firefighter dad gave him the firetruck ornament the last Christmas before he died.
Stepdad freezes and looks at the mom. She explains quietly about the ornament.
To undermine Stepdad’s relationship with mom, when no one is looking the boy deliberately breaks an ornament the Stepdad had carefully wrapped to prove his overwrapping is stupid.
Inciting Incident: As the boy watches, Mom kisses Stepdad on cheek telling how much she appreciates his effort even though one ornament broke. Stepdad smiles at mom oblivious to boy.
Transformational Events: Boy secretly removes batteries from the tracking device so it won’t work and calls out to his Stepdad to prove his device works. Just as Stepdad pulls it out of his pocket and is about to turn it on…
Inciting Incident: News story comes on TV about how lion escapes zoo distracting everyone from the job of taking the ornaments down.
Transformational Event 1: They all pause to watch the TV story about the escaped lion which was formerly a trained circus lion for a few minutes. Stepdad takes the rest of the ornaments down, wraps them and takes tree out for garbage pickup.
Mom gets call from local News studio where she is a producer to cover the story. Still in costume she runs off for work but promises to be back in time for the party.
Stepdad gets distracted by TV news leaving his stepson’s favorite ornament on tree as he puts it out for garbage truck.
Inciting Incident: Stepson realizes favorite ornament was still on tree. He runs out front to see the garbage truck driving off with tree and ornament hanging off back.
Stepson screams at Stepdad furious and insulting him as incompetent and nerdy. Boy runs out of house chasing garbage truck.
Feeling horrified Stepdad follows the boy out the front door realizing he must chase the garbage truck and get the ornament back or he will never be forgiven by his stepson and possibly his mom
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Sandra’s ACT I: Opening Scenes
What I learned doing this assignment is how to outline the opening scenes by including a beginning, middle, and end, and to introduce the lead characters in action.
ACT I – OPENING SCENES
INT. UNIVERSITY RESEARCH LAB – NIGHT
BEGINNING: Wearing gloves and using an eyedropper, PROFESSOR CLARK, 50’s, brilliant, balding, paunchy, puts a few drops from an unmarked vial into vial TM1 (test mouse 1).
MIDDLE: Vial and eye dropper put in a baggy and hides in the research assistant’s desk drawer.
END: Using a distorted voice, orders flowers to be delivered. He leaves.
INT. LUCY’S HOUSE – DAY
BEGINNING: LUCY, a 30-year-old, married, Ph.D. student, stands in a steamy bathroom. Wearing a robe and towel wrapped around her hair. Cracks the door open to let out the steam. Rehearses her dissertation defense as she looks in the mirror and applies makeup.
MIDDLE: She hears a noise. Calls out to see who’s there. Perfectly quiet. Opens the door further and cautiously goes into the living room. Anxiously, looks around. She examines a bouquet of flowers on the coffee table – no note. Perplexed, wonders who sent them and how they got there. Checks the front door and locks it.
END: She heads into the bedroom and finds a “You Can Do It!” card on the bed pillow from her husband.
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Day 9
DeRuve’s Act I Opening Scenes
What I learned doing this assignment is how much I love writing, and how excited I am to be in thiS CLASS WITH ALL OF YOU>
BY THE WAY< MY KEYBOARD FRIED LAST NIGHT WHEN I FINISHED THIS OPENING>.. NOT SURE IF THATS A GOOD SIGN OR BAD SIGN< BUT I HAVE NO CONTROL OVER THE KEYS TODAY. NEW ONE IN MAIL TOMORROW.
Scene Outlines:
Scene 1 –
Beginning: Rhino is searching for a house in the suburbs, and prepares to get a job done.
Middle: Rhino locates his target, roughs him up real good.
End: A little girl is present to witness what he’s done.
Scene 2 –
Beginning: Rhino arrives to the arena late for his fight.
Middle: Joey runs his mouth talking shit, on the side of Rhino.
End: Joey clears the room, talks to Rhino about the plan for the fight.
INT. RHINO’S CAR – SUBURBS – NIGHT
SEVERINO PERISI, 34, aka RHINO, creeps down the street with his headlights off, looking for an address scribbled on a piece of paper. His breaks squeal to a halt, he’s arrived.
He peers out from under his permanently swollen brows, the neighborhood is silent. He pulls a plastic bag over each shoe, taping them around the ankles.
He tucks his thick black hair under a black cap.
EXT. SUBURBAN HOUSE – CONTINUOUS
TITLE CARD: 1985, Troy, New York
Rhino methodically walks around the side of the house towards the back, his rather large shadow shifting across the side lawn approaching the light. He unscrews the bulb, darkness.
EXT. SUBURBAN HOUSE – BACKYARD – CONTINUOUS
JONNY, 32, puffs a cigar on the patio by himself, he glances over, momentarily frozen by Rhino’s enormous silhouette, easily 6’4” and as broad as a beast.
Jonny snaps out of it, frantically dives back out of his chair, and trips over the next one. Rhino moves in on his prey, Jonny flinging toys and chairs in his path.
Rhino grabs Jonny by the breast of his jacket, lifting him to his feet with ease.
RHINO
What time is it, Jonny?
JONNY
I don’t got it.
SLAP- Rhino knocks him silly with a vicious backhand.
JONNY (CONT’D)
Honest!
CRACK- A stiff right hook knocks Jonny to the ground, his nose shattered to bloody pieces.
Rhino picks him up tossing him through the sliding glass door into the–
INT. SUBURBAN HOUSE – LIVING ROOM – CONTINUOUS
Jonny skids across the floor amongst the broken glass, Rhino stomps in, flips him to his back, and delivers three bone crushing rights, breaking his face, leaving him limp.
Rhino stands, hardly out of breath when the whimper of a LITTLE GIRL, 6, catches his attention. His mouth hangs open before his chin falls, heartbreak.
She wipes the tears from her face when he extends a lollipop to her. She smacks it out of his hand, defeated, the cries breaking him.
EXT. EMPIRE STATE PLAZA CONVENTION CENTER – ALBANY – NIGHT
Rhino’s jalopy makes way through the crowds of people heading for the entrance. He parks right outside the side door labeled locker rooms. Gets out, and tosses his keys to JIMMY.
JIMMY
Give ‘em hell t’night, Rhino!
Rhino makes his way inside–
INT. EMPIRE STATE PLAZA CONVENTION CENTER – CONTINUOUS
Rhino strolls down the hall of the arena, the employees all turn and wave, offering him encouragements.
RHINO
Hey, how ya doin’?
(beat)
Thanks a lot, appreciate it.
He finally reaches the locker room entrance.
INT. LOCKER ROOM – CONTINUOUS
The corner men sit around annoyed in uniform garb, JOEY PAONE, 34, paces back and forth, a short stocky guinea with the suit of a made man. Rhino casually struts in.
JOEY
What’d I tell ya, huh? There he is! Fifteen minutes to spare even! These bums been bad mouthin’ ya, Rhino.
Rhino shoots his charming grin at the corner men who greet him warmly.
JOEY (CONT’D)
You think I’m gonna let you bums flap your gums about Rhino, huh? This man’s a fighter, what’re you, huh? Bums, all of ya’s!
RHINO
Put a cork in it, Joey, would ya?
Rhino strips down and hops up on the trainers table.
JOEY
(dramatic)
Maybe this time, sure! But you give ‘em an inch, and they’ll take a mile.
Rhino chuckles along with the corner men, Joey finally lets out a laugh. The TRAINER takes Rhino’s hand revealing bruising and fresh cuts. He turns to Joey, the mood shifts.
JOEY (CONT’D)
A’right, everybody get the hell outta here for a minute.
(beat)
Just a minute, thanks boys.
The room clears, Joey approaches Rhino and grabs his right hand. He playfully pats Rhino’s cheek.
RHINO
I know, I know, I was supposed to get it done a couple’a nights ago.
JOEY
Shut up.
(beat)
What’re ya bare knucklin’ these low life’s f’er?! Huh? What’s a matter with you?
(beat)
Where’re them gloves I gave ya?
RHINO
Gloves?
JOEY
Them nice leather ones, ya animal. Y’er gonna get y’erself hurt.
RHINO
C’mon, Joey, it’s alright, it’s nothin’ but a flesh wound, gimme a break, would ya?
Joey stands down a little and lets out a grin.
JOEY
You’re lucky this guy’s a bum tonight. He’s big and he’s clumsy. Let him get some shots in, and put him down in the third. We’ll be home by midnight.
RHINO
The purse?
JOEY
If you can keep‘em up on his feet for three rounds, real nice.
RHINO
I won’t use my right.
He flashes his bloody knuckles, they share a laugh.
DING–
INT. EMPIRE STATE PLAZA CONVENTION CENTER – RING – NIGHT
–DING- Rhino comes out of his corner swiftly tossing some light jabs at SHEFFIELD, 24, who’s big as a house. Rhino looks quick compared to his shuffling heavy feet.
Sheffield winds up and throws a hook, Rhino eats it with the back of his glove, again throwing meaningless counters. A combination of punches, hardly making Rhino flinch.
DING- Scattered boos and crumpled programs shower the ring. Rhino sits in his corner, hardly breathing heavy. Across the ring, Sheffield is sucking wind.
A leggy RING GIRL, 26, carries the round card, “2”, turning the boos to cheers.
DING- Rhino comes out of his corner again playing possum. Sheffield moves in, doing his best, but his best is deflected and evaded with ease. Sheffield takes a big swing and slips.
He falls to a knee, the crowd is growing more hostile. They counter each other, Sheffield throwing sloppy combinations, Rhino tossing weak jabs into his chin.
DING- The crowd is letting them have it, the fight lacks excitement, booing and groans. He sits in his corner.
RHINO
A lotta hostility tonight.
TRAINER
Yeah, in the crowd maybe, what the hell are ya doin’ out there?
Rhino looks over his shoulder into the crowd. Joey making eyes at him and nods. The Ring Girl carries the “3”-DING.
Rhino pounds his fists together, the boo birds loud as ever. The fighters approach, Rhino throws his first meaningful jab, surprising Sheffield, snapping his head straight back.
A quick combination before he can regain his balance, and he stumbles, holding the ropes for support. The REF offers a standing five count.
Joey smirks in the crowd with his GOONS.
Sheffield takes a deep breath and moves in, he throws a punch that is countered faster than he can comprehend. A flurry of punches knocks him off his feet to the mat.
The ref counts him off, the crowd erupting in cheers, Rhino holding his gloves in the air. He arrogantly spits his mouthpiece towards his corner, TIME SLOWS DOWN–
Rhino dances from side to side with arms raised high, flash bulbs popping. His shiny black pomp prances across his brow, sweat glistening on his thick build, he flexes his huge arms.
TITLE CARD: Rhino
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Dave Holloway’s Act 1: Opening Scenes
What I learned doing this assignment is that not trying for perfection in writing a scene allows more ideas to emerge for ways the scene can go.
OPENING SCENE
INT. COURTROOM – DAY
BEGINNING: Nigel gives his closing argument in defense of a woman fighting to retain custody of her child
MIDDLE: During the argument, the opposing lawyer objects, and the judge sustains the objection.
END: Nigel finishes his argument and sits beside his climate, emotionally overwrought.
INT COURTROOM – DAY
NIGEL THOMPSON gives a passionate closing argument in court. He is 25, with the wholesome, healthy appearance of someone raised in a comfortable home. He is naturally articulate as he argues his case, and there is a note of genuine passion in his voice.
He faces the jury of 12 men and women, imploring them.
NIGEL
Ladies and gentlemen, my client has worked full-time since the age of 16. When her child was two years old, the father deserted the family, abandoning all his duty of support. But she never applied for public assistance, as was her right. She continued to work to support her daughter, and to raise her as well as she could. But now the city’s department of child welfare is asking you to take her daughter away from her. But you’ve seen how she loves her child. You’ve seen the child testify that she wants to stay with her mother. Don’t let the unfounded speculations of government bureaucrats –
The prosecutor rises and speaks angrily.
PROSECUTOR
Objection, your honor. The opinions offered by the employee of child welfare were founded on close investigation of the case, not unfounded speculation.
The judge answers reprovingly.
JUDGE
Sustained. No grounds were shown upon which to slander the case worker.
Nigel bows his head for a moment. But the passion in his voice is undimmed.
NIGEL
Don’t let the opinions of outsiders to the family overrule the heartfelt desire of the two people involved to remain together. The purpose of our legal system is to effect justice. Today, you have the opportunity to do just that.
There is silence in the courtroom. Nigel returns to the counsel’s table and sits down T the woman who is his client. For several moments he sits quietly, recovering from his emotion.
ANTAGONIST INTRODUCTION
INT. PRISON – DAY
BEGINNING: The warden of the prison interrogates Nigel’s wife, Livia, in his office. Her wrists are handcuffed in front of her, and she looks intimidated. A guard stands several feet behind the chair in which she sits.
MIDDLE: The warden asks her why she was spying in the state of Shiloh, the state they are in. She answers that she was doing her work as a journalist, and is not a spy.
END: Irritated by her insistence that she is only a journalist, he cuts her off dismissively and orders the guard to take her back to her cell. The guard puts his hand on her shoulder and the two of them leave the office.
INT. PRISON – DAY
LIVIA sits in a chair in front of the warden’s desk. She wears a gray prison uniform. She is 25, an attractive, young woman who looks harried by her confinement. The WARDEN is 45, a strongly-built man of medium height with black hair and a neatly-trimmed mustache. There is an edge of derision in his voice, verging on contempt. A guard stands behind Livia.
WARDEN: Why were you spying on our state?
LIVIA: I was not spying. I’m a journalist in Britain, sent here by my employer to report on social and political conditions in some of the American states.
WARDEN: You were observed speaking to several people who are known or suspected to be enemies of the state of Shiloh. What were you talking about?
LIVIA: I asked a number of citizens what they thought of living in this state. I had no idea of the backgrounds of any of them.
WARDEN: Shiloh is a military state. We do not tolerate outsiders coming here, whether it’s to spy on us or to give false notions of our state to people in other countries.
LIVIA: I’ve never hidden the fact that I’m a journalist, sent here to report on the conditions of life.
WARDEN: Anything you ‘reported’ would be biased, as a result of your preconceived notions about this state and your desire to communicate your prejudice to others.
Livia grows annoyed.
LIVIA: I was sent here to report truthfully on this state, not to pass on any biased views, regardless of what you may think.
The warden is annoyed and irritated. He speaks sharply to the guard.
WARDEN: Take her back to her cell.
The guard rises, places one hand on Livia’s left shoulder, and the two of them walk out of the office.
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This reply was modified 4 years, 1 month ago by David Holloway.
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This reply was modified 4 years, 1 month ago by
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What I learned doing this assignment was the importance of defining the beginning, middle, and end of a scene – i.e. its movement, how it goes from one place to another.
Dale’s Act 1: Opening Scenes
OPENING SCENES BEAT SHEET (Protagonist)
INT. ELIZABETH DREWER’S HOME – EVENING
Elizabeth in her home environment, establishing her style, music she listens to, full to bursting bookshelves, etc.
Beginning: We see Elizabeth’s home – a clear reflection of who she is: with its tasteful décor, its bookshelves overflowing, and it’s classical music playing.
Middle: We see Elizabeth in her home office – at her laptop with books open next to her, preparing her lecture for tomorrow.
End: We see Elizabeth in bed, sleeping on only one side, clearly there used to be a man on the other side who is not there anymore.
INT. PRENTISS UNIVERSITY – LECTURE HALL – DAY
Elizabeth at her lectern doing her first lecture for her “Intro do the Rationalists” philosophy class
Beginning: Elizabeth introduces herself and her class to the students
Middle: Elizabeth starts her lecture about what is rationalism.
End: She gives the assignment to the students and notices her new TA, Richard arriving late.
OPENING SCENE BEAT SHEET (Antagonist) Two locations, but one scene
EXT. PRENTISS UNIVERSITY – GROUNDS – DAY
Richard, the new TA, rushing to class, bumps into a female student who is struck by his good looks.
INT. PRENTISS UNIVERSITY – LECTURE HALL – DAY
He arrives late to Elizabeth lecture – slips in at the back. She notices he’s late.
Beginning: Richard is rushing across campus
Middle: He bumps into a student and papers fly. As she helps him, she notices how handsome he is.
End: Harried, he slips into the back of Elizabeth’s lecture hall while already in session.
DRAFT OF OPENING SCENES:
FADE IN:
INT. THE HOME OF PROFESSOR ELIZABETH DREWER – EVENING
This is a home that clearly reflects its occupant. It is tastefully decorated, there are book shelves full to overflowing in the living room and office, and other shelves dedicated to record albums. On the walls is evocative art work.
All in all this is a home of “high culture.” It is also impeccably clean and orderly.
A Persian cat sleeps in the nook of a window seat.
INT. ELIZABETH’S HOME OFFICE – CONTINUOUS
A Mozart piano concerto plays.
ELIZABETH DREWER, 42, sits at her desk in her office, typing on her laptop. She is preparing a lecture. There are a couple of books open next to the computer to which she sometimes refers and she occasionally looks off into the distance as she forms her thoughts. Finally, typing a last sentence, and looking satisfied, she takes off her glasses and closes the laptop.
INT. ELIZABETH’S BEDROOM – NIGHT
Elizabeth is in bed, but she is having trouble sleeping. She lies on one side of the bed, “her side.” Next to her a pillow on the other side seems to indicate that there had been, not too long ago, a man who slept there.
EXT. PRENTISS UNIVERSITY – DAY
Establishing shots of PRENTISS University, a fictitious ivy-league style college in California (think Stanford). We see the venerable buildings, the manicured lawns, the walkways with students going to and from class.
ON ELIZABETH
As she moves toward a building marked “Philosophy Department.” Elizabeth is fashionably, though somewhat conservatively, dressed. She strides with the confidence of someone who is certain of her place in the world.
INT. PRENTISS UNIVERSITY – LECTURE HALL – DAY
This is a midsize lecture hall. Students are still coming in the door, as Elizabeth takes her place in front of her lectern. She looks out at the class.
ELIZABETH
Good morning. Please check your schedules to make sure you’re in the right class. I’m Professor Elizabeth Drewer and this is Philosophy 21, Intro to the Rationalists.
We see the students finding seats. Some greet each other, others look a bit nervous, others share a joke, etc.
As they settle down…
ELIZABETH
All right. Let’s begin.
The class now grows quiet and attentive.
ELIZABETH
I’d like to ask you a simple question: How do you know something? What I mean is, how do you know you know what you know?
We continue to hear Elizabeth’s lecture IN VOICE OVER as:
EXT. CAMPUS WALKWAYS – SIMULTANEOUS
RICHARD AMADO, a handsome Mexican-American 28-year-old grad student is rushing along a path. He has his arms full of papers. He refers to one of them that has a class number written on it.
ELIZABETH (V.O.)
Can you just assume that your sources of knowledge, whatever they may be, are reliable? Or is it possible you might be walking around believing something, maybe even pinning your entire life on something that isn’t true?
Richard bumps into a FEMALE STUDENT, and papers go flying. The student leans over to help him with the papers and when she hands them back, she stares into his handsome face, smiling…
ELIZABETH (V.O.)
Well, there have been philosophers through the ages who have argued that rationality is what keeps us poor humans from succumbing to illogical thinking and runaway emotions.
Richard smiles back, then rushes off once more, with the student staring after him.
INT. PRENTISS UNIVERSITY – LECTURE HALL – DAY
ELIZABETH
…Now, before we go further, let me give you your assignment.
Richard slips, out of breath, into the back of Elizabeth’s classroom. Elizabeth notices, but barely loses a beat.
ELIZABETH (CONT’D)
For Friday, I would like you to read pages 25-38 of your philosophy text, the excerpt from Plato’s Republic which deals with his concept of Forms.
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Fred’s ACT 1: Opening Scenes
What I learned from this assignment is that having a beginning, middle, and end in your outline helps clear up scenes before writing the first draft.
OPENING SCENE: Ceremony
INT. GRANDPARENT’S HOUSE – NIGHT
BEGINNING: JIN (18) is setting down plates of food for the ancestral offering. The elderly men are chatting in the living room sitting down. Jin’s FATHER, HAN, (44) gives instructions about where each item goes from afar.
MIDDLE: Procession starts. Ritual includes candles, incense, pouring alcohol, bowing. Jin’s cousin, JENNY (8) runs in to interrupt the ceremony out of curiosity. Han tells her to stay with her mother in the kitchen.
END: Ceremony ends. Elders go out to the door to bid farewell to the spirits. Han tells Jin to take her cousin and go toss dates around the backyard for good luck. Instead Jin feeds the dates to the house dog.
SECOND SCENE: Dinner
INT. GRANDPARENT’S HOUSE – NIGHT
BEGINNING: All the men are eating a huge feast from the offering at a large wooden table. Han talks up Jin’s GRANDFATHER (70) for providing all this great food and abundance of wealth for them.
MIDDLE: Jin’s AUNT (38) comes around to find out who wants rice. The obese men claim they are watching their weight and will take half, a third, a quarter, etc. Han condescendingly comments on what a fine little girl Jenny is becoming. Gives her some money and waits for her to say thank you.
END: Jin gets fed up and decides to go to the kitchen. There he sees all the women eating on the ground, surrounded by mountains of food they’ve prepared. His MOTHER (42) alone is working to pack up leftovers. Jin gets fawned by his grandmother and the other old ladies for being so nice to help out. Mother is completely ignored by everyone.
THIRD SCENE: Wrapping Up, leaving
INT. HAN’S CAR – NIGHT
BEGINNING: Aunt leaves early, Grandfather compliments her for what a fine job she’s done.
MIDDLE: Mother brings out fruit for the men. Han points out the skin hasn’t been completely peeled off before biting into it.
END: Mother is waiting in the car for Han who is saying goodbye to everyone else.
– NEEDS TWIST?
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What I learned doing this assignment is that dialogue that is motivated and meaningful is easier to come up with after the explorations of the characters in the earlier exercizes.
Mark’s Act1: Opening Scenes
EXT. DESERT – DAY
OPENING SCENE BEAT SHEET
Tony is hot-dog flying through the desert with Victoria enjoying it. He proposes marriage, she is ecstatic. They are infatuated with each other completely.OPENING SCENE OUTLINE
EXT. HIGH DESERT – DAY
BEGINNING: A rabbit is frozen, staring ahead. A 1930’s open cockpit plane roars over a rise and zooms low. The rabbit scampers away from the ROARINS ENGINE.MIDDLE: Tony is showing off for Victoria, flying low, careening around hills and doing dangerous maneuvers. She is squealing with delight. He is inspired by her reactions. He proposes to her in a steep climb. She screams “Yes!”
END; He roars down the main street of town, turns upside down, yelling in joy.
CHARACTER INTRODUCTIONS BEAT SHEET
EXT. FRONT PORCH – DAY
INCITING INCIDENT: He forbids her to take the artic voyage. She demands her freedom to go. They part in anger.CHARACTER INTRODUCTIONS OUTLINE
INT. TONY’S BARN – DAY
BEGINNING: Tony is working on building a race plane. Victoria enters and shows him the paperwork describing an arctic research voyage.MIDDLE: He ignores it and tells her not to go. Its a crazy idea. She rebels, warns him not to change her life. She doesn’t try to change him. He thinks she is trying too hard to model herself after Amelia Earhart. She reminds him that Amelia has done things he only dreams about, since he got kicked out of the Flying Corps.
END: She opens an old wound. He is deeply hurt. She leaves.
OPENING SCENE
EXT. HIGH DESERT – DAY
A desert rabbit sits alert on a rocky mound. the SILENCE gives way to a mounting DRONE of an engine. The rabbit looks in alarm.EXT. HIGH SESERT – DAY
a small 1930’s open-cockpit plane comes over the horizon on the deck. its screams past the rabbit, which bolts off. a woman’s scream blends with the engine noise.
EXT. SMALL PLANE -DAY (SERIES OF SHOTS)
Victoria, 25 and Tony, 30’s are in the plane. She is ecstatic as he performs daring maneuvers, showing off for her. She squeals with delight, which inspires him to careen the aircraft over cars on the highway.VICTORIA
I could do that, if you gave me a chance.He smiles, puts the craft into a steep, almost vertical climb.
TONY
Could you marry me if you had a chance?VICTORIA (laughs)
Say please.
EXT. SMALL TOWN MAIN STREET – DAY
He flips the plane upside down and roars down the street at treetop level yellingTONY
SHE’S GOING TO MARRY ME!CHARACTER INTRODUCTIONS – INCITING INCIDENT
INT. TONY’S BARN – DAY
It looks like a hospital for airplanes, with parts strewn all over and a half-built plane in the center.
Victoria enters, excited. She shoves the papers at Tony.
VICTORIA
Isn’t is fabulous. Its a huge ship and it sails through ice. I would be almost a scientist.He glances at it, then ignores it and changes tools.
Its a crazy idea. Victoria. Its just crazy. She is startled. Speechless.
TONY
You’re not Amelia Earhart you know. VICTORIAI could be. You think I’m just an ordinary girl…helpless. Tony stops what he is doing.
TONY
No darling. I love you. Its dangerous. I forbid it.She kisses him on the cheek
VICTORIA
Dangerous! Look who’s talking. Your ex-wife thought you were too dangerous. She tried to stop you from flying. I don’t. Who gave you the right to change who I am? TONY
You’re trying to be Amelia Earhart. You’re not.
VICTORIA
Amelia is accomplishing feats of flying that you can only dream of. You think you’re better than she is, and you got kicked out of the Flying Corps.
TONY
I was 17 for god’s sake.
VICTORIA
And the youngest ace of the Great War was washed up for doing a stunt.
He is deeply hurt by this old wound.
VICTORIA (CONT’D)
What I’m doing isn’t that bad.
She walks out angry. -
Melanie’s Act 1: Opening Scenes
What I learned: how to think of scenes with a beginning, a middle and an end with a twist! Cool.
EXT. FOREST, NEAR LUDINGTON FARM – DAY
SYBIL, a newly 16 year old girl with long unruly braids, hides quietly in thick brush in the forest. Shadows play out in front of her and she holds her breath…waiting. A squirrel. A deer. She GASPS as the thicket is suddenly pulled away by a handsome Iroquois boy with angry eyes, sunlight pouring in.
THRASH! He swipes the air with a knife and she leaps out SCREAMING.
SYBIL
Stop it!
She barely escapes, thundering towards her dark brown mare twenty paces away. She reaches her, foot in the stirrups when she takes off without her, leaving Sybil on the ground. The boy is nearly on her when THWFT! She flies upwards, her foot wrapped in a rope, until she is hanging upside down in the tree.
IROQUOIS BOY
I win. You lose.
She fumes.
SYBIL
Get me down! And you didn’t win – you just got lucky.
He laughs as she tries to keep her skirt from falling down.
SHWACK! The rope is cut and she hits the ground hard. An Iroquois man, the boy’s dad, towers above her. She offers a small smile.
SYBIL
Thanks, sir.
The older man is about to leave when he turns.
IROQUOIS MAN
You want to fight?
SYBIL
Yes, more than anything.
IROQUOIS MAN
Why?
SYBIL
Our country is at war. It’s my duty to stop them.
His wise eyes smile at her.
IROQUOIS MAN
The warrior is not someone who fights to take another life, a warrior sacrifices himself for the good of others.
He grabs his son’s arm and they leave her.
EXT. GENERAL TRYON’S MANSION – NIGHT
A fire rages through the mansion. GENERAL TRYON and his WIFE fly out the front door into the cold wintry night, along with SERVANTS. They watch in horror as their home is destroyed before them.
SAMUEL, a twenty-year old assistant, buttons his wool coat as he comes running from the barracks on the other side of the property. He reaches Tron’s side.
SAMUEL
What happened, sir? Can I do anything?
GENERAL TRYON
I don’t know.
His wife suddenly screams.
WIFE
Madelyn! Oh my God! Where’s Madelyn?
General Tryon turns to Samuel, his face a shade of white.
GENERAL TRYON
Our daughter! Find her!
Samuel nods, slowly wandering towards the inferno. He stops at the front door seeing the stairs consumed in angry red flames. He turns to a HOUSEKEEPER who is next to him and makes a split decision.
SAMUEL
You. The General wants you to find his daughter. She’s inside!
A flash of fear washes over the woman’s face but she grabs her skirt, dashes inside and up the stairs.
Within seconds, the housekeeper appears at the child’s bedroom window, the CHILD in her arms. The walls burn down around her and she coughs opening the window. The wife SCREAMS as the woman suddenly throws the child out of the window towards a snow bank.
Silence as everyone watches the child land in the snow. Both the General and his wife rush to the child, who starts to cry.
Samuel looks up at the window once more – the housekeeper is lost in the flames. He gathers himself, striding over to the General.
SAMUEL
I sent her in for you. I told her to find the child.
The couple is consumed with tears, and the General clasps his shoulder.
GENERAL TRYON
Thank you.
SAMUEL
Of course, sir. I am at your disposal.
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Dale’s Act 1: Opening Scenes. (I reposted this, not seeing my earlier post, but now I do – so this is just a repeat of the earlier one.)
What I learned from this assignment is the importance of figuring out the beginning, middle and end of scenes, in other words, the movement and changes within the scene.
OPENING SCENES BEAT SHEET (Protagonist)
INT. ELIZABETH DREWER’S HOME – EVENING
Elizabeth in her home environment, establishing her style, music she listens to, full to bursting bookshelves, etc.
Beginning: We see Elizabeth’s home – a clear reflection of who she is: with its tasteful décor, its bookshelves overflowing, and it’s classical music playing.
Middle: We see Elizabeth in her home office – at her laptop with books open next to her, preparing her lecture for tomorrow.
End: We see Elizabeth in bed, sleeping on only one side, clearly there used to be a man on the other side who is not there anymore.
INT. PRENTISS UNIVERSITY – LECTURE HALL – DAY
Elizabeth at her lectern doing her first lecture for her “Intro to the Rationalists” philosophy class
Beginning: Elizabeth introduces herself and her class to the students
Middle: Elizabeth starts her lecture about what is rationalism.
End: She gives the assignment to the students and notices her new TA, Richard arriving late.
OPENING SCENE BEAT SHEET (Antagonist) Two locations, but one scene
EXT. PRENTISS UNIVERSITY – GROUNDS – DAY
Richard, the new TA, rushing to class, bumps into a female student who is struck by his good looks.
INT. PRENTISS UNIVERSITY – LECTURE HALL – DAY
He arrives late to Elizabeth lecture – slips in at the back. She notices he’s late.
Beginning: Richard is rushing across campus
Middle: He bumps into a student and papers fly. As she helps him, she notices how handsome he is.
End: Harried, he slips into the back of Elizabeth’s lecture hall while already in session.
DRAFT OF OPENING SCENES:
FADE IN:
INT. THE HOME OF PROFESSOR ELIZABETH DREWER – EVENING
This is a home that clearly reflects its occupant. It is tastefully decorated, there are book shelves full to overflowing in the living room and office, and other shelves dedicated to record albums. On the walls is evocative art work.
All in all this is a home of “high culture.” It is also impeccably clean and orderly.
A Persian cat sleeps in the nook of a window seat.
INT. ELIZABETH’S HOME OFFICE – CONTINUOUS
A Mozart piano concerto plays.
ELIZABETH DREWER, 42, sits at her desk in her office, typing on her laptop. She is preparing a lecture. There are a couple of books open next to the computer to which she sometimes refers and she occasionally looks off into the distance as she forms her thoughts. Finally, typing a last sentence, and looking satisfied, she takes off her glasses and closes the laptop.
INT. ELIZABETH’S BEDROOM – NIGHT
Elizabeth is in bed, but she is having trouble sleeping. She lies on one side of the bed, “her side.” Next to her a pillow on the other side seems to indicate that there had been, not too long ago, a man who slept there.
EXT. PRENTISS UNIVERSITY – DAY
Establishing shots of PRENTISS University, a fictitious ivy-league style college in California (think Stanford). We see the venerable buildings, the manicured lawns, the walkways with students going to and from class.
ON ELIZABETH
As she moves toward a building marked “Philosophy Department.” Elizabeth is fashionably, though somewhat conservatively, dressed. She strides with the confidence of someone who is certain of her place in the world.
INT. PRENTISS UNIVERSITY – LECTURE HALL – DAY
This is a midsize lecture hall. Students are still coming in the door, as Elizabeth takes her place in front of her lectern. She looks out at the class.
ELIZABETH
Good morning. Please check your schedules to make sure you’re in the right class. I’m Professor Elizabeth Drewer and this is Philosophy 21, Intro to the Rationalists.
We see the students finding seats. Some greet each other, others look a bit nervous, others share a joke, etc.
As they settle down…
ELIZABETH
All right. Let’s begin.
The class now grows quiet and attentive.
ELIZABETH
I’d like to ask you a simple question: How do you know something? What I mean is, how do you know you know what you know?
We continue to hear Elizabeth’s lecture IN VOICE OVER as:
EXT. CAMPUS WALKWAYS – SIMULTANEOUS
RICHARD AMADO, a handsome Mexican-American 28-year-old grad student is rushing along a path. He has his arms full of papers. He refers to one of them that has a class number written on it.
ELIZABETH (V.O.)
Can you just assume that your sources of knowledge, whatever they may be, are reliable? Or is it possible you might be walking around believing something, maybe even pinning your entire life on something that isn’t true?
Richard bumps into a FEMALE STUDENT, and papers go flying. The student leans over to help him with the papers and when she hands them back, she stares into his handsome face, smiling…
ELIZABETH (V.O.)
Well, there have been philosophers through the ages who have argued that rationality is what keeps us poor humans from succumbing to illogical thinking and runaway emotions.
Richard smiles back, then rushes off once more, with the student staring after him.
INT. PRENTISS UNIVERSITY – LECTURE HALL – DAY
ELIZABETH
…Now, before we go further, let me give you your assignment.
Richard slips, out of breath, into the back of Elizabeth’s classroom. Elizabeth notices, but barely loses a beat.
ELIZABETH (CONT’D)
For Friday, I would like you to read pages 25-38 of your philosophy text, the excerpt from Plato’s Republic which deals with his concept of Forms.
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This reply was modified 4 years, 1 month ago by Dale Griffiths Stamos.
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This reply was modified 4 years, 1 month ago by
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Pam’s Act 1: Opening Scenes
What I learned: very important to stick to the 7 Rules of Speed Writing. I don’t want to revert back to my (slow) old ways.INT. MARC RICHE HAIR SALON, BEVERLY HILLS – LOBBY – DAY
30ish HENRI BERGER enters the tastefully-appointed salon. He passes a brown-uniformed delivery man on his way out.The gold and black Marc Riche Salon “brand” is everywhere: the logo is etched on the glass front door, shelves are topped with Marc Riche signature hair products, a large sign above the front counter reads “MARC RICHE – Stylist to the Stars,” and of course, there’s MARC RICHE himself.
Marc opens a few packages at the front counter. His large green parrot, CHICO, is perched in his cage. Movie star BRADLEY JAMES relaxes on a leather couch. He sips a glass of wine and studies a script. (more on this later) Henri smiles and salutes Bradley.
HENRI
“Beautiful People” magazine cover?
Congrats, brother!BRADLEY
(mock indignation)
About time they noticed, right?CHICO
(in parrot-speak)
Who da man? You da man.Supermodel TIFFANY sits close to Bradley, also sipping wine. She reads a fashion magazine that features her face on the cover.
Marc reaches into an open box and studies a gold and black labeled tube of “Modeling Glue.” He gasps and shrieks loudly. A startled Chico squawks. Tiffany spits out a fresh sip of wine onto her magazine. Bradley jumps out of his seat. Henri inhales and braces himself.
MARC
(wailing)
Dios Mio! “Marc <u style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Rice Modeling Glue?”The whole world knows it’s Riche (Reesh).
This is a nightmare.HENRI
(trying to match Marc’s level of concern)
Well, I certainly won’t rest.
Someone’s getting a strongly worded letter…Marc responds by throwing the whole case of “Modeling Glue” into the adjacent trash can. Thud! Case closed. Marc motions for everyone to move from the couch to the styling station and chairs.
INT. MARC RICHE SALON – STYLING STATIONS
Bradley sits at Henri’s station, Tiffany at Marc’s. Bradley glances at the “Vanity” magazine article framed on the wall. The headline reads: HENRI BERGER, HOLLYWOOD HAIRGICIAN.BRADLEY
(to Henri)
Work your magic on me, brah.
Got the photo shoot today.Henri prepares Bradley. Ties a black cape around his neck.
MARC
(scoffs)
I like to think of myself as more
of a “hair-chitect.”Marc readies Tiffany for her style.
TIFFANY
(to Marc)
Let’s do something sassy.A hair style-off ensues, as the two work side by side. With each move that Henri makes, Marc “counter-attacks” to top him. Marc styles Tiffany’s hair in an over-the-top “Marge Simpson meets Audrey Hepburn” beehive. Spins her around to face the mirror and unveil his work.
HENRI
(looks at Marc, gasps)
Whoa! You are the Hairchitect, sir.
(admiring Tiffany)
And that’s your Guggenheim.Styles are complete. The group makes plans to see each other later today at Marc’s charity fundraiser. Bradley and Tiffany leave together.
MARC
(to Henri)
Everyone who’s anybody will be there.
Don’t be late, Burger.Marc walks out the door as Henri begins to clean up.
HENRI
(to no one)
It’s Bur-zhay.Finishes up. Pauses at the trash can. Retrieves the abandoned hair product. Walks out door with the case under his arm.
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<footer><footer>
LESSON 9 first scene introducing Travis
What I learned: I am feeling a little stressed due to personal schedule. I’m learning to write fast.
Scene INT TRAVIS HARVELLE’S KITCHEN DAY
Travis grabs three water bottles, a vegetable tray and a plastic container of prepared sandwiches from refrigerator and places them in a soft thermal cooler. He packs a bag of potato chips in a plastic bag and walks out the back door to the dock where his party barge is waiting.
Scene EXT. CHERRY LAKE – TRAVIS’ PARTY BARGE DAY
Travis’ two guests come around the house and follow him to the barge. Travis lays out the snacks.
TRAVIS
I’m glad you could make it today, JJ. I’m leaving for a Christmas holiday with the family tomorrow and I wanted to discuss the renovations with you before I left.
SYDNEE
When JJ said we were coming out to the lake for a ride, I was so happy. Thanks for the invitation. Tell me, where are you going for the holidays?
TRAVIS
Have a snack, Guys. Mother arranged for us to celebrate Christmas in Vermont. It’s weird.
The party barge leaves the dock.
JJ
What’s weird about that? Vermont is beautiful at Christmas. I’ve seen pictures.
TRAVIS
My family always celebrates Christmas for a week in Orlando. And my mom and sister, Marty, don’t like cold weather. Any temperature less than fifty-five degrees is freezing to them.
JJ
Do they know how cold it gets in Vermont at Christmas?
TRAVIS
I told them. There is another reason I don’t’ want to go. I was married there at the same hotel where we are staying, five years ago this Christmas. Becca divorced me a year later.
Sydnee
That’s a little crazy. If you change your mind about going, you can spend the holidays with us
at Wildflowers B & B. We have enough room for you.
TRAVIS
Mom has called me every night this week to make sure I get on the train tomorrow. I don’t know what Mom has planned, but it better be something better than the last time I went there.
JJ
Well, if it gets too bad, sped the day outside. Your family won’t be here. They’ll be by the fire. Margo told me you take this boat ride every day at 5:00PM.
TRAVIS
Yeah. I ride and relax. Play Jake Jones music or special holiday music for the people who live on the lake. I think about all my family and friends who are driving home in Orlando traffic on I-4, bumper to bumper. It takes an hour to get home, with all the horns blowing and cars stopped for wrecks. Sometimes I pause on the lake and say thanks for living in Madison County.
JJ
This is a peaceful place. Look people are coming out of their homes and are waving at us.
SYDNEE
I feel like I am the Queen of England as I greet my minions. This is fun.
TRAVIS
The family who lives in that big brick home had a wedding on the lawn. I drove around the lake that day and played the Love Boat theme. The bride and groom loved it.
SYDNEE
That sounds so sweet. So you are a romantic at heart.
TRAVIS
Sure. Just not with Becca.
Jake Jones (Antagonist) and secondary character (Annabelle)
Scene 2 INT JACKSONVILLE FLORIDA DAY
Liz Bradford is rushing to catch the train to Vermont. She is running late but comes to a halt when she hears Jake Jones singing a Christmas song over the loud speaker. A gentleman runs into her. She drops all her packages, phone. He helps her retrieve her things and she rushes forward. She runs into a Christmas Elf when she shifts her packages, knocks the elf down. It is plastic. A housekeeper assists her in gathering her things and placing the Christmas Elf in an upright position.
Phone rings.
Split screen phone call
LIZ
Hello, Mother. I really don’t have time. I just arrived at the station and I’m trying to get on the train. Is there a problem?
ANNABELLE
I was hoping you were already in your cabin, Dear.
LIZ
Mother, what is wrong. I can tell in your voice.
ANNABELLE
The entertainment duo for the lounge called. They cancelled.
LIZ
They can’t do that. They are under contract.
ANNABELLE
They are both homebound sick with the flu.
LIZ
Don’t worry. I will check my contact list and get somebody.
SCENE INT ANNABELLE’S OFFICE DAY
Jake Jones walks into Annabelle’s office. The country music star is home for the holidays. Annabelle sees the solution to her problem.
SPLIT SCREEN on phone
ANNABELLE
(waving Jake to enter her office) Sweetheart, don’t worry. I think I may have the answer to our problem.
LIZ
Mom, what are you thinking? Please wait until I get on the train. I can handle this.
ANNABELLE
Don’t miss the train. We will talk later. Bye, Love.
LIZ
Oh, no. What is she doing now, I wonder?
Over the loud speaker: “ All Aboard”
LIZ
I can’t worry about it now.
ANNABELLE
Jake, have a seat. Welcome home to Wellington and the Bradford Inn.
JAKE
Hello, Ms. Annabelle, it’s good to be home. Is Lizzy around today?
ANNABELLE
She’s getting on the train to come home. Will arrive some time tomorrow.
JAKE
I want to see her. I made a mistake and I need to apologize to her. I tried to talk to her last Christmas, but I could never catch up with her.
ANNABELLE
I’m glad to hear that, Jake. I believe she will want to talk to you, too. Liz is VP of Marketing now. She is a key employee here. How is the music business? I hear you are making big bucks.
JAKE
Going great. I have five new songs ready to record in the new year. My agent thinks this may be my biggest album yet.
ANNABELLE
How would you like to debut those new songs on our stage? Our holiday performers are sick with the flu. I need an act for the lounge for four days.
JAKE
I will be happy to perform for you. Let’s sign the contracts and we’ll be set. I’ll pack that lounge
every night. Tell Sam to order lots of tickets.
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Subject line: (Mary Ellevold’s) Act 1: Opening Scenes
“What I learned doing this assignment is to copy the scene from the beat sheet, outline it, and write a basic first draft.
EXT. JON’S APARTMENT – DAY
One. Two. Three black birds descend onto a telephone wire. Ominous music.
A woman in black, (KAT) KATHERINE DEBOUGAR, (28), slinks along a building wall. Kat is slightly overweight and stuffed into a black cat suit, with high, glossy black boots and a black mask. She is hiding an object behind her back. Sliding along the outside building wall toward the door, she looks right, then left. She breaks the door lock and enters.
INT. JON’S APARTMENT – DAY
JON JOHNSON hears the doorbell. He is 28, an almost ordinary man. He is dressed in a wrinkled blue outfit with an official DOG CATCHER badge on the pocket. His hair is disheveled. On the counter is a blue baseball hat. He wears old work boots.
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Gayle’s Act 1: Opening Scenes
What I learned doing this assignment is to just write the darn thing.
INT. ATTIC
Beginning – A LITTLE GIRL, 8, with the strength of ten men beats up a YOUNG WOMAN, 22, and knocks her out –
Her partner, a YOUNG MAN, 23, – a douche bag with long flowing locks dressed like a 20<sup>th</sup> century adventurer from a romantic novel. He figures out the name of the demon and freezes him in the body
YOUNG MAN
Not to worry, I will rescue you.
He looks ridiculous with a camera, EVP recorder and head lamp
Flashing the light draws it attention.
Middle – the man exorcises the demon and heroically rescues the young woman putting her to safety.
DJINN, a pre-Islamic Arabian demon born
A powerful fight scene between the man and djinn where the man has the halo of a hero and godlike powers.
Takes a rag, soaked in turpentine and light on fire which kept the djinn away.
They square off, facing each other one last time.
Says the spell
YOUNG WOMAN
Oh, my wonderful darling. I would be dead now if not for you. You are the bravest, smartest paranormal investigator who ever lived.
LITTLE GIRL
Thank you, for saving my life, kind sir. I can now go back to my normal life as a little girl.
RICK DOES A VO essentially narrating how wonderful he was.
RICK (VO) Says wonderful things about how he single-handedly send the djinn into the cell phone.
YOUNG MAN
Give me your phone.
End – the wife wakes up and helps but they need a place to contain so he says give me your cell.
The man does a spell that confines the djinn and the girl and young woman are fawning over him ever so grateful
The man says something corny about phones.
INT. BASEMENT STUDIO
The story is being told as an anecdote by RICK COFFEY. His wife SAMANTHA COFFEY is produced the webcast and handles the live stream as he talks shit.
Theme- yesterday is history, tomorrow is mystery, today is a gift that’s why we call it the present. Rick needs to learn to appreciate the present instead of living in the past or future.
Beginning – Rick talks as if he lives in the past
Middle – He complains about how the producer and director and screenwriter ruined the movie based on the book – Rick gets mad at Sam for dropping a call
End – Another person has a question that Rick can’t answer so Sam does and Rick is immediately called out for not knowing. Sam drops the call on purpose this time. Rick signs off the program as their agent arrives.
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EUGENE’S ACT 1: OPENING SCENES (Lesson 9)
What I learned doing this assignment is that the first step in anything is the hardest. Up until now it was only preparation, but now I am actually embarking on my journey, and it’s “scary.”
ACT 1:
The Opening:
EXT. PLATFORM BEHIND POLITICAL STAGE – L.A. – NIGHT
Beginning: Patrick Lee is nervous about speaking at his first major rally. Celeste gives him advice.
Middle: Patrick feels that Celeste could give a much better speech.
End: Celeste tells Patrick that he has taught her more about how to be a good President than she has taught him. She tells him she is willing to wait 8 years to occupy the Oval Office.
EXT. LARGE OUTDOOR STAGE – NIGHT
Beginning: Sam BrightCloud, Cherokee Elder and Celeste’s Mentor, introduces Patrick Lee to the crowd.
Middle: Patrick gives an impressive Speech.
End: Patrick is emotional moved by the audience’s reaction and tear-up.
EXT. PLATFORM BEHIND POLITICAL STAGE – L.A. – NIGHT
Presidential candidate, PATRICK LEE, approaching 40, Asian American, legally blind and autistic is backstage with Celeste, a 40ish attractive Native American, as they prepare for his first rally before a huge audience. Pat is pacing back and forth apparently trying to practice his lines.
CELESTE
Are you nervous?
PATRICK
Yes.
CELESTE
What’s bothering you?
PATRICK
The whole government is coming down on me.
CELESTE
Don’t worry, the establishment is getting desperate. You came out of nowhere and they don’t know how to deal with you. Trust me, they’re grabbing at straws, they don’t have anything on you.
PATRICK
How do you know?
CELESTE
Believe me, I know.
PATRICK
Okay…(pause)
Should I wear my NuEyes?
CELESTE
I thought we discussed that. It can be very distracting. We want the audience to see your eyes, even if there is no real eye contact. You will move your head from side to side as you speak to give the impression you are speaking to everyone.
PATRICK
You don’t want me to see them?
CELESTE
Seeing all those people could trigger your Asperger’s.
PATRICK
What about the sound of the crowd, couldn’t that trigger it?
CELESTE
Possibly, but the earplugs should help, they won’t drown out the crowd completely, but they’ll muffle it a bit.(pause)
Remember to wait for the end of a response from the crowd before starting your next line. Listen for their audio cues.
PATRICK
You could do a much better speech.
CELESTE
It’s all based on your ideas. You’ve come up with the solutions. I’ve only helped you to implement them.
PATRICK
Maybe your vision was right. Maybe we should switch places. Maybe you should be running for President.
CELESTE
I thought I was the teacher, but I realize now that I learned more from you… about being a good President.(pause)
And I’m still learning…(pause)
Don’t worry, I can wait 8 years…
(WE HEAR the audience begin a chant…Patrick Lee…Patrick Lee…Patrick Lee…Celeste gives him a peck on the check and walks him onto the stage and towards the podium.)
EXT. LARGE OUTDOOR STAGE – NIGHT
Patrick Lee takes the stage and is met by a resounding roar from the crowd which almost knocks him off his feet. He is frozen in his tracks as SAMUEL BRIGHTCLOUD, a Cherokee Elder, Introduces him.
BRIGHTCLOUD
The next President of the United States, Patrick “Dark Horse” Lee.
Samuel deftly leads Patrick to the podium and quickly moves into the background to join Celeste.
It is obvious that Pat is trying to deal with his nerves as he fumbles with the mike and prepares to speak.
PATRICK(hesitant)
As you all know…I am not a man of words.(pause)
I may not see you, but I can hear you, like the thunder in the night.
(pause during a thunderous applause)
I have been told that this audience comprises all political parties, all genders, all ages, all races and creeds. People from every state in the U.S. and many countries around world. Please cheer for yourselves, for you represent the change that this world wants and needs.
(a long loud cheer)
I have run a novel campaign and I have very seldom spoken out. Whatever we do in this campaign must have more than one purpose and this gathering is no exception.(pause)
You are standing on another solution. The land that was cleared for this rally will be the solution to the homeless crisis. It will be called “Angel City” and will eliminate “Skid Row” from the streets of L.A.
Once the solution is tested here, it will spread to cities throughout the United States and eventually around the world.
(long cheer)
I would like to get a bit personal for a moment. When I was a young man I was very naive, but I eventually fell into a routine that I felt comfortable with and that made my connections with other people very limited, at best.
Computers and other technologies made it easier and easier to limit my one on one, personal communications. I must admit I made a number of mistakes in my life.
(the audience listens intently)
When I got older I started to miss the companionship that others took for granted. I had a relationship with a much younger woman. I guess, like many others, I wanted to regain my youth, but more than that I wanted to have a family, a legacy, so that others would know that I existed, to leave something behind that would carry my story forward.(pause)
As you might guess, the relationship did not work out, but it taught me something, it taught me to be independent. You have to be independent and secure before you can reach out to others, work with them and learn how to be interdependent…to work together, to accomplish great things.(pause)
I just learned today, that the two candidates representing the major political parties have accepted my challenge and from this point forward will be using their campaign donations to solve problems and their coffers are much bigger than mine.
This makes me very happy.(another roar from the crowd)
Something else makes me even more happy and secure. I finally have found my family…(pause)
You…you are my family. And I know, even if I do not win this election…
(The crowd begins to Chant: Write-In…Patrick Lee…Write-In Patrick Lee…Patrick Lee…Patrick Lee…Right into the White House…Patrick Lee right into the White House…Write-In…Write-In…Write-In…)
PATRICK (CONT’D)
Even if I don’t win this election, I know that you will carry on my ideas. My plans will move forward, in the United States and around the world. You…you are my legacy.
Even after I am gone and only a memory, You…You will carry on…
(An even louder roar from the crowd. And they begin to Chant: “We The People…Love Lee” “We The People…Love Lee” “Love Lee…Love Lee”…)
WE SEE tears in Patrick’s eyes, and they begin to roll down his cheeks as the huge audience continues to roar in response.
(And the roar dissolves into a Third Chant: “Patrick Lee…Lee’d The Way…Patrick Lee…Lee’d The Way” and WE SEE the audience is exercising their vote by wearing Purple and stretching out elastic exercise bands that read “Lee’d The Way” in Large Purple letters.)
(The chant continues as the Camera rises above the crowd to reveal how large it is…and the chant continues in the background…”Lee’d The Way…Lee’d The Way.”)
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John T’s Opening Scenes
What I learned doing this assignment is to just do it and get it done.
ACT I
DREAM SEQUENCE
A man with a dog on a leash. He’s pulling on it, dragging the dog into the woods. A little girl, CLARE, 9, watches anxiously.
UNCLE HENRY
Com’on girl. Do your business, come on.
CLARE
Don’t hurt her, Uncle Henry. Please don’t hurt her.
UNCLE HENRY
I’m not. She has to go in the woods for a little while. It doesn’t hurt, just something she has to do. Com’on Trixy, come on girl, do your business.
Clare looks up, at the woods, and SCREAMS. Her cry melds into the sudden outburst, a 25-year-old woman. It’s….
INT. BEDROOM – MORNING
CLARE bolts up from her nightmare.
CLARE
Ahhhhhhhhhhh.
(collects herself)
Damn it!
Rubs her face, focuses on the bedside table clock. 10:15.
CLARE
Shit!
Springs to her feet, runs to the bathroom, grabs a dress on the door hook with one hand, pulls off her t-shirt with the other, slams the door shut.
EXT. INNERMOST CAFÉ – DAY
A light rain. Brooding and pale skinned, blond dreadlocks swinging to and fro, ROD, 28, paces up and down under the awning, A hand taps him from behind. He spins around.
ROD
Damn it, Clare. where you been?
CLARE
Sorry, missed the buzzer.
ROD
Let’s go, they’re waiting.
INT. TABLE FOR 8 – DAY
Rod leads to a table of people who look put out. Jenny especially, seated next to Barry, both late 20s. Chuck, 30s, appears sympathetic. The others look up, then back to their plates and pie holes.
CLARE
Sorry, everybody. Overslept.
JENNY
You don’t look it.
CLARE sidles to a chair next to Rod who’s already seated himself.
BARRY
She kinda does, sweater’s inside out.
Clare looks down, sees the tag. Now everybody gazes at her tag. A few chuckles.
ROD
It’s my fault. I didn’t dress her properly this morning.
A few laughs.
Clare starts to sit, too embarrassed to speak.
ROD
No, go change.
Clare slowly rises, leaves the table. They all watch her disappear around the corner.
JENNY
That’s a bit harsh, isn’t it?
ROD
Sorry, everybody. Clare’s been dormant lately, attention vector inward. Always in some esoteric book getting lost in the weeds.
BARRY
The puzzle solver.
JENNY
Oh, that’s right. Clare loves to solve riddles and such.
ROD
Like the one between her ears.
TED
How about the one between her legs.
JENNY
Real nice, Ted.
ROD
Wish it was that simple.
CHUCK
Occam’s Razor.
ROD
What was that?
CHUCK
Occam’s Razor, the principle that the most simple explanation is probably the true one.
ROD
So I should take her to a shrink?
CHUCK
Maybe, or a trust baby like you could take her to that new resort off the coast.
JENNY
You mean Discovery Island, heard it’s absolutely wonderful. Everybody raves about it. You get in touch with your true self through a MIC.
TED
A what?
JENNY
Ah, mirror image cyborg, I think.
CHUCK
I think it’s matching image. Anyway, it’s an exact metal clone of yourself.
ROD
I don’t think contemplating our navel is the answer.
BARRY
Do they even have navels?
JENNY
I heard they have all the parts, private and otherwise.
BARRY
Now I’m interested.
ROD
Well, I’m not. Sounds like a complete waste of time and money, both of them mine.
JENNY
It’s not just for Clare, Rod. You’d benefit, too.
CHUCK
And they’re having a sale right now for couples, half off the second.
ROD
We’re not really, not by a long shot. We’re just sharing my condo, ah, temporarily.
CHUCK
Sounds ideal.
ROD
Your Razor, again?
CHUCK
Actually, yes. Giving Clare the opportunity to know her innermost self is exactly what she needs, Rod. What you both need before you decide to split.
JENNY
Gotta know the origin before you plan a destination, Rod.
BARRY
Agree, you know, it’s never too late for somebody like her to grow up a little.
Rod looks down pensively.
ROD
She’s absolutely helpless without me.
BARRY
Well, you best help her get some wings so she can fly away and be done with her. (fingering his cell phone)
And… we’re talking 5-star resort, ace.
ROD
Well, something’s gotta give.
INT. LADY’S ROOM – DAY
Clare has been monitoring the whole conversation on her phone.
INT. INNERMOST CAFE – DAY
Clare leaves.
EXT. INNERMOST CAFÉ – DAY
Clare walks home.
EXT. CENTURY PARK – DAY
Clare walks by a tree lined path, notices a starling fluttering about with a croaked wing. Clare bends down to study it. Something about a helpless bird gets to her. She breaks down, sobbing.
INT. ROD’S APARTMENT – NIGHT
Clare enters with her wounded bird in a bird cage, sets it on a table by the windowsill.
CLARE
Don’t worry, birdie. We’ll get out of here.
She covers the cage with a cloth and turns out the light.
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Bob Colley Act 1: Opening Scenes
What I learned doing this assignment is I have no clue what I am doing.
Opening Scene Outline
INT. CABIN – DAY
BEGINNING:
Door splinters apart as FBI agents enter cabin to apprehend terror suspect.
Cynthia opens fire killing the lead agent.
Other agents return fire.
MIDDLE:
Cynthia ducks for cover and tosses gun to husband.
The husband sprints down the hallway to an exit, firing at the agents.
John shoot the husband and the bullet goes through him then the wall and kills the child in the next room.
END:
John tends to dying partner and Cynthia is cuffed while screaming for her dead child.
The FBI thought the husband was alone.
Second Scene Outline
EXT. ROADWAY – DAY
BEGINNING:
Agents pack Cynthia into the back of a car and take off to a second location to interrogate her and what she knows about her husband’s cell.
MIDDLE:
As the FBI are driving down the road a second car with a young couple pulls up behind them and signals to pass.
As the car passes the woman in the passenger seat shoots the agent driver then his partner. The agent’s car coasts to a stop.
END:
The couple free Cynthia who takes a pistol and finishes off both agents
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Opening Scene First Draft
INT. CABIN – DAY
The door frame explodes into splinters as five FBI agents come through the door with Agent FORBES in the lead.
AGENT FORBES
FBI FBI FBI!
INT. CABIN BEDROOM – DAY
CYNTHIA CORMAN, 38, moves from the side window, picks up a machine pistol and sprays bullets toward the front door.
Agent FORBES is hit several times in the side of his head and crumbles to the floor.
Agent JOHN SAXON, 34, and the other agents return fire toward the bedroom.
As Cynthia recoils back into the bedroom she tosses the gun to her HUSBAND as he comes out of the bathroom and slams in another clip.
HUSBAND
Fuckers!
The husband bolts into the hallway running toward the side door of the cabin shooting wildly.
Glass shatters, furniture disintegrates and gun smoke fills the air.
Agent Saxon shoots the Husband in the neck causing him to spin towards the wall as his pistol keeps firing. He’s dead before he hits the floor.
Agent Saxon pauses a few seconds to look down at Agent Forbes who is missing half his head.
JOHN SAXON
Brad, Brad, or fuck Brad.
The other agents rush the bedroom and cuff Cynthia who is bleeding from a shoulder wound.
CYNTHIA
Let me go, let me go. Frankie!
A child lays dead from a bullet that came through the wall and stuck him.
AGENT SAXON
He was supposed to be alone. Where the hell did the
woman and child come from? What a cluster fuck.
Second Scene Outline
EXT. ROADWAY – DAY
BEGINNING:
Agents pack Cynthia into the back of a car and take off to a second location to interrogate her and what she knows about her husband’s cell.
MIDDLE:
As the FBI are driving down the road a second car with a young couple pulls up behind them and signals to pass.
As the car passes the woman in the passenger seat shoots the agent driver then his partner. The agent’s car coasts to a stop.
END:
The couple free Cynthia who takes a pistol and finishes off both agents
Second Scene First Draft
EXT. CABIN DRIVEWAY – DAY
SAXON
Take her to <st1:street w:st=”on”><st1:address w:st=”on”>Dorval Street</st1:address></st1:street> where are
little talk won’t be disturbed.
A handcuffed Cynthia is put into the back of a sedan that drives off.
EXT. SIDEROAD – DAY
As the two agents in the sedan are driving along the side road, a SUV with a young couple pulls up behind them and signals to pass.
When the SUV gets along side the sedan the woman in the passenger seat points a shotgun out the window and fires two quick blasts through the sedans driver’s window. Both agents recoil from the blast and go limp. The sedan rolls to a stop.
The young couple in the SUV get out, walk over to the sedan, open the back door and help Cynthia out.
CYNTHIA
Cuffs assholes.
The female reaches into the sedan and retrieves a set of handcuff keys and frees Cynthia.
Cynthia takes the shotgun and finishes off both agents in the car.
CYNTHIA
You took too long.
Cynthia shoots the young man first then kills the woman.
Cynthia gets into the SUV and drives off.
CYNTHIA
Fucking Ford.
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Paul’s Act 1: Opening Scenes
What I learned doing this assignment is that even if the antagonist isn’t seen in the opening scene you can imply that they’re there, or having some effect on it.
INT. PATRICIA’S LIVING ROOM – DAY
Flowers fill the room as PATRICIA, 28, dressed in a delicate bridal gown, carefully applies some lipstick.
A bustle of activity surrounds her as BRIDESMAIDS chatter, compare outfits, and hug each other.
PEARL, 60’s, is the odd one out and the only one that sits. She wears a blouse with an ANTIQUE BROOCH that contains the image of a lady.
Pearl watches with pride as her daughter Patricia prepares for her big day. She cries tears of joy.
PATRICIA
You good, Momma?
Pearl nods as a phone on a table near Patricia vibrates.
Patricia picks it up. Stares at the screen in disbelief.
JADE, 36, her sister, feisty and always ready to speak her mind, notices Patricia’s reaction.
JADE
What’s wrong, Sis?
Speechless, Patricia hands the phone to Jade, who reads the text.
JADE
Oh, my God. He wouldn’t! Would he?
PATRICIA
I will never forgive him!
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Adam’s opening scenes
What I learned – it’s hard for me to move on when I know I’m going to be changing a lot
ACT 1
News footage with credits of pandemic hitting – shit going down
INT. SCHOOL – DAY (Protagonist Intro & opening scene)
Beginning: Les sits at the front of the classroom. He wears a double mask and face shield. The kids all have masks loosely on their faces – they do a test. Les sees one of the kids cheating, looking over the shoulder of a classmate.
Middle: Les goes up behind the cheating kid quietly. Then scares his by yelling ‘boo’!
End: Les talks to the kid after class, seems like he’s coming down hard on him. The kid pleads to Les that if he fails he won’t be able to attend his bike race on the weekend. Les makes a joke of it and lets it go. He was just bugging him. Les wants to be liked.
INT. PARLIAMENT – DAY (Antagonist Intro)
Beginning: MAYOR ELIZABETH speaks before the press telling people to hand on just a little longer, we’ll get through this, keep your distance, etc. Gonna crush this pandemic.
Middle: A question phoned in by a reporter questioning her decisions. They ‘lose’ the call.
End: She tells them to fire the person who let the call through, and also never let that reporter call again. Call the editor and try and get them removed or they’ll remove the ads. We can’t have any misinformation spreading around.
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