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Subtext Mastery Lesson 5 Assignments
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ScreenwritingU: Mastering Subtext – Lesson 4 Assignment
By Evelyn A Petros
Misinterpretation: Surface -The ferryman Coton Maïs thinks that Martha and Jasper, the white “couple” traveling with the toddler Lizzie (later rechristened Désirée) are her biological parents. Beneath the surface– Jasper is not the child’s father, but Martha’s brother, who is spiriting Martha away from New Orleans because she’s killed her abusive husband.
Sabotage: Zandrine, a house slave jealous of Armand’s wife, Désirée, is having an affair with Armand, and sabotages Désirée by alerting Armand to Désirée’s flouting of the Slave Laws, which causes him to confront Désirée and mistreat her. Désirée sabotages her husband’s upholding of the Slave Laws, by teaching her teenaged houseboy to read and write, and by plotting to free the boy through the Underground Railroad.
Superior Position: Viewers will know that Armand’s mother, Claire, who passed for white during her life and before her death in Paris, was of African heritage. They also know that Armand’s father, Louis, promised Claire to hide this from Armand to “protect” him in Louisiana. The irony of Armand’s cruel treatment of his slaves is that he’s a slaveowner who doesn’t know he has African blood. The revelation at the end of the script causes him to radically change. Viewers will know that Jasper is not Désirée’s biological father, but none of the other characters in the script do (except her biological mother, of course) since Désirée is a foundling who by accident gets separated from her mother. Désirée has no memory of her biological father, as she was a toddler when her mother murdered her father and fled, but at age ten she does try to run away to find her biological parents, but is stopped by Armand.
Deception: Lots of lies, deception and secrets going on throughout my script with multiple characters, both main and secondary. In Act One Michel lies to his childless wife Emilie, saying that they can foster the toddler Lizzie and rename her Désirée, because she is a foundling whose parents never came back to look for her, but in fact, her biological mother and uncle did. Louis also hides from Armand that Zandrine is his daughter by his housekeeper Suleika. Armand hides his affair with Zandrine from his father, Louis, and from his wife. Armand does not know he is committing incest with Zandrine until his overseer tells him during an argument very late in the film, horrifying Armand. Armand hides his gambling debts and adultery from Désirée until Act Three. Madame Thibodeaux, Désirée’s neighbor, pays her a visit with gifts for Désirée’s baby, but she’s really there to see if the rumors about the baby are true.
Unaware: Armand and Désirée are both unaware that they have African ancestors in their bloodline, but their reactions to their child being born black are like night and day. Désirée accepts and loves the child, but Armand does not and blames Désirée. Désirée is unaware of her husband’s philandering until he throws it in her face during an argument in Act Three. She is also unaware of Armand’s gambling, and the dire financial straits of the plantation, which he deliberately hides from her. Armand sends Désirée the letter his dying mother, Claire, wrote to his father, Louis, revealing her African heritage.
Can’t Say: Suleika can’t tell Armand the reason he should stop sleeping with her daughter Zandrine, because Louis, Zandrine’s father (and Armand’s as well), has forbidden Suleika from revealing to Armand or anyone else that Zandrine is his daughter.
What I learned: By pure luck, or instinct (?)–I am a retired opera singer familiar with convoluted opera plots, after all–I have been using subtext situations throughout my script, but I hope I haven’t overdone it and made the script too melodramatic.
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Lesson 4 – Situation Subtext
INT. BUILDING 1029 CLARK, LIVING ROOM – DAY
Jesse picks up the package from Raymond Carvel
Unaware.
Having no knowledge or awareness of what is really happening.
Jesse doesn’t realize that Raymond and company are crooks and that the package contains pistols.
INT. SIMCOE TERRACE INN, MILT’S SUITE – DAY
Jesse befriends Milt and Harper Harris.
Deception.
One or more characters are lying or misleading others.
Jesse is attracted to this couple from South Carolina because that is where the woman he loves is from.
Milt and Harper like Jesse and hire him as their driver while they visit Niagara. Jesse does not know their true identity and that he is entering a potentially dangerous relationship/situation.
EXT. OVERFLOW PARKING LOT – DAY
Jesse is confronted by Nick and Turner.
Superior Position.
The audience knows something one or more characters don’t know. We watch these characters misjudge the situation.
Dixie Mafia members Nick and Turner believe Jesse is Milt Harris and that he can lead them to Vance Rollins who is on their hit list. They do not realize that Jesse is just the parking valet.
At the same time Jesse has no idea why they believe he is Milt Harris, nor that Milt is actually Vance Rollins.
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Mastering Subtext – Lesson 5 Assignment – Action Subtext
by Evelyn A Petros
1) Action Hides Something Covert:
Armand, frustrated that his meetings with Désirée are always chaperoned, slyly devises a way to get around the custom. On an after-dinner visit to Désirée’s home for drinks and dessert, he brings a gift of his cook’s famed peach compote, signals to Désirée not to touch it, but encourages Natalie, the enslaved chaperone, to eat, and even dishes out a second generous helping, which Natalie gobbles up, promptly falling unconscious. “Armand, what have you done,” Désirée asks. Armand laughingly confesses to previously spiking the compote with a sleeping powder and a generous splash of brandy,” so the chaperone will be out of their way.
2) Action Opposite Dialogue:
Madame Thibodeaux’ and her daughter Évélia visit Désirée, ostensibly with gifts for Désirée’s new baby, but Madame is really there to see if the rumors about the baby are true. Madame disregards Désirée’s warning that she doesn’t want her sleeping infant disturbed, forces her way to the cradle, pushes aside the mosquito netting, and peers inside. “It’s true then,” she whispers, to Évélia. “What is true,” Désirée, overhearing, asks. “That the child, the child—the child has your little rosebud mouth,” Madame lies, and concocts a false reason why she must bring their visit to a rapid close (she claims that they only stopped by on their way to New Orleans to have Évélia measured for a wedding trousseau, and if they don’t leave this instant they’ll miss the ferry). Despite Évélia’s futile protest that the fitting is tomorrow, Madame drags Évélia, off with her. In their carriage, Madame indulges in disparaging words about Désirée. Évélia tries to shut her up, with no success, and instead of instructing the driver to take them to the ferry, Madame tells the driver “Home, Carlos!” “Home?????!!!!” Évélia exclaims, mortified by her mother’s bigotry and behavior.
3) What I learned: This whole lesson on Mastering Subtext was great fun. I think I now have a more solid idea of how to insert subtext in my scenes. There are a few more scenes in my script where I may now want to add Subtext. I loved this class. Hal is a great screenwriting teacher! However, I am very frustrated by the difficulties I experience when trying to post my assignments. I do exactly what Dimitri suggests, but it doesn’t always work!
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Mastering Subtext – Lesson 5 Assignment – Action Subtext
by Evelyn A Petros
1) Action Hides Something Covert:
Armand, frustrated that his meetings with Désirée are always chaperoned, slyly devises a way to get around the custom. On an after-dinner visit to Désirée’s home for drinks and dessert, he brings a gift of his cook’s famed peach compote, signals to Désirée not to touch it, but encourages Natalie, the enslaved chaperone, to eat, and even dishes out a second generous helping, which Natalie gobbles up, promptly falling unconscious. “Armand, what have you done,” Désirée asks. Armand laughingly confesses to previously spiking the compote with a sleeping powder and a generous splash of brandy,” so the chaperone will be out of their way.
2) Action Opposite Dialogue:
Madame Thibodeaux’ and her daughter Évélia visit Désirée, ostensibly with gifts for Désirée’s new baby, but Madame is really there to see if the rumors about the baby are true. Madame disregards Désirée’s warning that she doesn’t want her sleeping infant disturbed, forces her way to the cradle, pushes aside the mosquito netting, and peers inside. “It’s true then,” she whispers, to Évélia. “What is true,” Désirée, overhearing, asks. “That the child, the child—the child has your little rosebud mouth,” Madame lies, and concocts a false reason why she must bring their visit to a rapid close (she claims that they only stopped by on their way to New Orleans to have Évélia measured for a wedding trousseau, and if they don’t leave this instant they’ll miss the ferry). Despite Évélia’s futile protest that the fitting is tomorrow, Madame drags Évélia, off with her. In their carriage, Madame indulges in disparaging words about Désirée. Évélia tries to shut her up, with no success, and instead of instructing the driver to take them to the ferry, Madame tells the driver “Home, Carlos!” “Home?????!!!!” Évélia exclaims, mortified by her mother’s bigotry and behavior.
3) What I learned: This whole lesson on Mastering Subtext was great fun. I think I now have a more solid idea of how to insert subtext in my scenes. There are a few more scenes in my script where I may now want to add Subtext. I loved this class. Hal is a great screenwriting teacher! However, I am very frustrated with the difficulties I experience when trying to post my assignments. I follow Dimitri’s instructions exactly, but it doesn’t always work!
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Lesson 5 Applying Action Subtext
Dave’s Comedy Short 5/9/21
For the past year I’ve been trying to develop a short film script. Harder than it seems. Maybe this is it.
“Tarzan Meets the Snow Beast”
(Based on a True Story)
In the winter of 1968 a group of boys from a Catholic high school gather in the woods to shoot a film for a class project. With college and the draft looming, the teens mask their fears by playing various zany roles. And their silliness reveals the parts they will play in the big picture called adulthood.
“Absurdity is the only reality.” Zappa.
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This reply was modified 4 years, 1 month ago by David Halligan.
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This reply was modified 4 years, 1 month ago by
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SUBJECT: Lesson 5 Applying Action Subtext
What I learned from this lesson is that incredible tension can be built into a story by giving characters hidden agendas and by having them do the opposite of what they say they will do. It creates human, three-dimensional characters rather than just cardboard cutouts.
Version 1: Action Opposite Dialogue
During a Fire-breathing contest at school, Flicker struggles. His sister, Ember, appears to be encouraging him.
Ember: “C’mon, Flick! You can do it!”
But, her actions show she has absolutely no confidence in Flicker’s abilities. Her words become nothing but sarcastic derisions meant to scorn Flicker rather than encourage him.Flicker’s friend, Pumice, admonishes Flicker to go see his Uncle Firebrand, Summerfjord’s sole Wizard for help. Flicker protests.
Flicker: “No way! Father would never allow it.”
Though his words express obedience to, and even fear of, his father, King Paladin, his actions show complete defiance of his father when he takes off into the woods as a “short-cut” home after school.King Paladin takes Flicker before the Council of Dragons to seek their wisdom as to what to do with Flicker and his handicap. On the outside, the council members appear compassionate and benevolent.
Council Leader: “As heir to the Kingdom, young Flicker, we see great potential and leadership ability in you. You will go on to do great things.”
In the end, though, the Council declares Flicker unfit to be a member of Summerfjord Kingdom and strips him of his royal birthright.Version 2: Action hides Something Covert
The Shadow Wolves Flicker encounters in the forest appear to be acting as lone predators. Unbeknownst to anyone, however, they are acting under the direction of Flint, Firebrand’s evil assistant, to get rid of Flicker.
Outwardly, Flint appears to be a loyal and humbly obedient assistant to the Wizard Firebrand. But, as we soon find out, he hides an evil and nefarious plan to take over the Kingdom and to destroy anyone who stands in his way.
After school, Flicker informs Ember he is taking a shortcut home through Darkwood Forest. His true intention, however, is to defy his father and pay a visit to his Uncle Firebrand, the Wizard, to ask for help in learning to breathe fire.
When Flicker finally gets his chance to visit his uncle, the Wizard’s spells don’t appear to work, as he had hoped they would. We learn that Firebrand intentionally sabotaged his own spells so that Flicker can learn to accept his handicap and to use his own inner strength and talents.
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Sylvia Krawczyk’s Lesson 5: Applying Action Subtext
What I learned doing this assignment is…
More exercises and experience in adding depth and intrigue.
ELSIE
There’s a bird that needs help! Isaw it but couldn’t reach it!
JUDITH
Elsie, I don’t care about anybirds. You’re a mess! Where are the rest
of my elderberry flowers for tonight’s dinner?
ELSIE
But, Judith…
There’s a tense pause. Judith stares at Elsie.
JUDITH
But, what?
ELSIE
I mean, mother.
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ASSIGNMENT 5 – SUBTEXT ACTION
NORENE SMILEY – TROUBLE
VERSION 1. ACTION OPPOSITE DIALOGUE:
Scrap and Ruby are repairing and strengthening wards and charms around the Keep. Charms are popping and expiring even as they rush to fortify them.
Ruby: “That’s right, that’s right, girlie. Good and snug, make it. Can’t have the cinchers flying off ‘em turkey claws if the pressure rises.”
Scrap is vibrating. Ruby pats her big hands on Scrap’s shoulders as if to tamp her down.
“Keepin’ ye safe, we are. Not to worry.” (but of course there is a worry)
VERSION 2. ACTION HIDING SOMETHING COVERT:
Scrap tries to get Bardo to tell her how she came to live in The Keep when she was a baby. But Bardo keeps walking out of the room mid-story, or fumbling with the Collection and getting distracted or throwing objects at her as if they are playing a game.
What I learned from this assignment: I like the action vs dialogue. Effective use of subtext and giving more layers to characters. Helped me think of the characters’ actions more intentionally to support the scene.
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What I learned doing this assignment is that action subtext is done primarily in two ways:
– The dialog is opposite of the action, creating an emotional experience for the audience (and often providing a satisfying jolt of surprise).
– The action is hiding something covert, which can really give a scene depth and resonance.
Version 1 in my script “Parish Road”
– The dialog when Lisa and her boyfriend are driving down the turnpike is definitely opposite of the action, which is that the town is sucking them in and capturing them. They are bantering and focusing on the fact that she has to pee and there’s a nice contrast with the jeopardy they are in.
Version 2 in “Parish Road”
– Maggie’s dialog is that she’s calling the cops and a tow truck to help Lisa while Lisa uses the restroom (and takes a detour to the basement). Lisa finds out she was talking to nobody while prepping an array of blades to slaughter Lisa.
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Mastering Subtext – Lesson 5
VERSION 1
Surface: Faron runs a reputable, and financially successful business, even though it’s only a stepping stone to what he really wants in life.
Subtext: Faron hates his current demeaning life, but stays focused, usually, on the business success (this will be his future trait as well). But always gives a positive response in the face of misery. His actions, however, display his real contempt.
EXT. FARM – DRIVE-WAY – DAY
Eye shiner still prominent, Faron and teen cowboy partner,
VERNON, step from a weathered, manure-filled pick-up truck.
FARON
This stop always reminds me how
much I hate my life.
Vernon ogles busty, PUSH-UP, as she waves from the porch
while husband, FARMER, drives toward them in a Cadillac.
VERNON
(to Faron, about Push-Up)
Lord, how’d you concentrate on
picking chords, looking at those?
FARMER
(after arriving at truck)
Don’t know how you stand working
around excrement all day. Got to
hand it to you though, never seen
you fall out on a dump.
FARON
What keeps them growing. Kind of
proud, delivering nature’s fuel.
FARMER
Thought you might do something more
sensible. Always seemed like a
sharp and talented kid.
(after cash payment offer)
Maybe there’s still hope, before
your mind’s completely gone from
inhaling these fumes.
(after another shot)
Already stunted your growth.
Faron’s in pounce mode, as Farmer slow-rolls away, but Vernon
intercepts.
VERNON
Can’t play the dance from jail.
(about the cash)
Got what we wanted. Damn, you plan
to fight everyone you meet?
Farmer hits brakes to look back, then-
FARMER
Drop some in the big field, back
behind the house.
FARON
(more in control)
Big field, yes Sir.
After Farmer rolls away onto the main road, Faron hops into
truck, reverses, and purposely dumps entire load in the front
field, some of it spilling into a shallow pond.
VERSION 2
SURFACE: Faron declares his gamesmanship talents during an affair, announcing how his partner was just another “notch”.
Subtext: Known as a womanizer, Faron has always truly loved this one woman, even though he married another. But he can’t let her know, in the end.
INT. HOTEL ROOM – NEXT MORNING
Faron and Patsy share a Plaza Hotel, room service breakfast.
FARON
Looks like we might be seeing even
more of each other from here on.
PATSY
Oh?
FARON
Your manager and me are going into
business. Oil wells. They’ll spurt
all over themselves making us rich.
PATSY
I’d like a piece of that action.
FARON
I’m due home for a few days.
(as if wanting it more
than anything in life)
After that, come out to California
with me, and you will, my dear.
PATSY
Afraid I still can’t do that.
FARON
(up quickly)
Perfect. We just rehearsed my act
for the next fling. Think this was
my best performance, though. No
hard feelings. Your settlement’s
already on its way.
PATSY
Shit kicker. I should have known.
FARON
You and I way too much alike,
anyhow, not to wind up blowing our
brains out.
After she storms out, Faron makes a call.
FARON (CONT’D)
(into phone)
Make out a check for Cline.
Clutches the bathrobe she’s left behind.
FARON (CONT’D)
A nice closing amount, please.
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Subtext Lesson 5 –
Action: Eric and Donny bring a box of sweets to the police station for Christmas. He asks how the detective’s holiday was.
Deeper Meaning : Eric has the detective paid off and in his hands, just letting him know that more treats are available for those who play with him…and that Eric has control.
Covert Hidden by Action
Action: Eric winks at the judge and agrees with everything he says about the sexual abuse claims
Deeper Meaning: Eric will fake supervision and do what he wants and everyone knows it.
What I learned is that this is one of the easiest subtext versions of all.
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Sandra’s Action Subtext
What I learned doing this lesson is how to incorporate subtext through action.
Version 1: Action Opposite Dialogue
INT. RESEARCH LAB – NIGHT
Professor Clark puts poison in a lab mouse test tube to sabotage Lucy’s research.
On the phone, Professor Clark: “I would like to order a bouquet of flowers to be delivered to Lucy….”
Version 2: Action Covers Something Covert
INT. RESEARCH LAB – NIGHT
Professor Clark hides the vial of poison in the lab assistant’s desk drawer. Lab assistant is being set up to poison the lab mouse.
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Can’t Say/Superior Position/Deception:
Walter’s journey to the South undercover as a white man, these entire scenes are examples of Can’t Say and Deception. He’s having conversations with people under the guise as a white man and can’t say that he’s actually black. The audience is in Superior Position on this so any interaction between Walter and another white person, even a black person, takes on a wealth of subtext. Walter Can’t Say the wrong thing since he’ll be found out as actually black and be killed.
Misinterpretation: Walter misinterprets Carl Van Vechten’s actions towards his future wife Gladys. He thinks Carl is making moves on Gladys but Carl is gay and it takes Walter a bit to figure this out. It’s debatable whether the audience would know Carl is gay but the performance might reveal this and some would discover it at or near the same time as Walter.
Sabotage: A scene between Walter and The Governor of Arkansas while undercover. The Governor determines that Walter, undercover as a white man, is actually black due to a crucial mistake Walter makes by going into a “Negro” bathroom (as he likely has for the entirety of his life while not undercover). The Governor sends his goons after Walter therefore disrupting his spycraft and running him out of town by the skin of his teeth. Again, the audience knows what Walter doesn’t at a crucial moment that the Governor’s got him in his sights. This ratchets up the tension of the scene for the audience who experiences this in superior position.
Unaware: can also be similar to deception. In my example with the Governor of Arkansas, he is unaware that he’s actually talking to a Black Man and likely would have never been aware if Walter hadn’t made a mistake and revealed his situation.
What I learned doing this exercise is that there are multiple interplays of these six techniques that can be used to create interesting narrative opportunities that will engage an audiience and compel them to keep watching.
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What I learned is that in trying to figure out something to write for two scenes (which I haven’t STILL), I did identify several scenes where I do want to include these subtext elements…actually 14 different scenes. I am excited to consider incorporating these elements in several areas because I think it will inherently ensure a suspenseful element is sprinkled throughout the story without much effort. I can also use these elements to provide hints for things that will be more meaningful in subsequent books in the series…breadcrumbs, if you will. I also realize it is a way to provide a little background when needed without being too on the nose…just through action we learn more about the character.
Action Opposite Dialogue
These are notes to myself not actual dialogue, but there is a scene in my story where I want the protagonist/amateur sleuth to be “in the zone” as far as hunting down and analyzing clues, but I don’t want her to realize what she is doing. I want to craft the scene so that what she says indicates that she has no business trying to determine who the murderer is, she has no experience and no clue how to even start tracking down info, but there are very subtle actions (not sure what those are yet) or things she observes and slyly takes note of that makes the reader and eventually Tera know that her background is far different than what she has led her and Rose to believe. This scene will heightened suspicions raised by Tera and Rose in an earlier scene when they overheard her dictating some information into her phone that sounded like he expertise of a forensics professional, not just a lowly truck driver who reads crime novels. Lisa has put herself in an awkward position and will realize it, and somehow cover that to keep suspicions down…Will she succeed?
Action Covers Something Covert
I feel like I need a scene where the killer realizes that law enforcement is too close to determining who is guilty and sets a trap for Lisa. Not sure what that trap is specifically, but I know that I want the set up to not only make Lisa think twice about continuing her search, but it frames at least one of the red herrings. The trap will involve the killer mirroring the behavior of the herring of them doing something that squarely makes both look like they could have been responsible for murder #2, based on evidence found at the murder scene, but the behavior on the part of the killer is truly the covert action. An example, though bad, is perhaps both the herring and the killer are getting rid of their brand of sneakers that has the same print mark found at the murder scene. One is getting rid of them because they have found to not provide enough support and is aggravating the owners’ plantar fasciitis. The other person is getting rid of them because of knowledge of investments the company is in that don’t align with the social values that person has.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 12 months ago by Lauren Y Walker.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 12 months ago by
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Lesson 5 Assignment – Applying Action Subtext
“What I learned doing this assignment is applying action subtext provides the writer with some useful tools to enhance the screenplay by employing the opposite of either the action portrayed, or the dialogue spoken.
Use each of the two types of Action Subtext in one or more scenes.
• Version 1: Action Opposite Dialogue
• Example, Yoshi and Takeshi are forced to try to cross the dangerous Thanzit River at night to avoid detection by the Allied forces. Takeshi tries to calm Yoshi’s fears and Yoshi responds jokingly that they’ll be safe before being attacked by the allies.
• Version 2: Action Hides Something Covert
• Example, Yoshi, Hasu and Takeshi return to the main regiment and beg to fight for the Emperor and claims they were attacked by crocodiles. In reality, they all deserted the battle of Sane Township and Takeshi feels guilty. Instead of surrendering to the Allied forces he wants them to rejoin the main regiment and fight for their family’s honor and the Emperor.
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This reply was modified 6 months ago by David Wetzel.
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This reply was modified 6 months ago by
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Lesson 5 Denice Hughes Lewis
What I learned doing this assignment is that I have very little action subtext. By looking at my scenes, I found a few where I could intersperse action subtext with the dialogue to make it more interesting. I have a few little subtext places, but they don’t sustain for the whole scene. Back to work.Version 1: Action opposite Dialogue
a. Marko flirts with Maya while they are fight/dancing. When he says something, her
actions denote her anger with moves to his mouth, head, crotch
b. Maya and her grandmother see Blake kidnapped by a monster and disappear
through a fiery portal. During their conversation, Maya doesn’t pay attention to the
fact that her grandmother is boxing books. Then Maya learns she has 15 minutes to
pack, they’re leaving.
Version 2: Action Hides Something Covert
a. Andrew is tailing Maya to find out where she lives because she’s intriguing.
b. Sophia tells Maya to stay out of the basement because it has mold, when it’s
really the storehouse for the family legacy of Dreamweavers.
c. Maya doesn’t understand her visions, or her developing powers of light. She’s been kept in the dark about her dad’s job. -
This is a technique I’ve noticed in the movies and TV series for many years, from old Westerns to new Sci-Fi’s. It usually ends up with the audience laughing and then an increase in action. It’s an old but effective technique, such irony in the movies as in life.
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