WEEK 1 DAY 3 — What did you learn?

[Neil Werenskjold]

What I learned rewriting my scene/character is how important relaxed, witty banter is to a likable character. When a writer master’s a noticeable distinct dialogue pattern that communicates more than any action description can ever outline, it does so in a unique way. It taps into the audience’s awareness and experience in life, giving them positive strokes when they understand precisely what is going on in a subtext way.

Those positive stokes are what everyone craves in their lives. When you realize you know or understand something delivered in a subtext way makes you feel proud of yourself. You are clued in, aware, reading the message 5 by 5. Ten-four good, buddy. Roger that. This Bagger Vance story teaches in such a masterful way life truths that cannot be denied simply by alluding to significant concepts. Aware people hang on to every scene looking for the golden nuggets. Unaware people just watch a movie. It does not matter who or what you are. No class distinctions, just if you are aware or not.

I have really come to understand is how vital subtext is to stimulate the audience’s attention in a Bagger Vance’s positive way. I use subtext a lot in my writing, but this lesson has opened my eyes to the fact that I more often negatively use my subtext. That leads me to want to think about how I can “flip the scrip” and deliver a lesson in life in a positive, gracious “Bagger Vance” subtext way. Wow, that is my heavy breakthrough.

I really want my characters to speak to audiences in this way. My goal in writing is to develop “my swing” with words.

[A J Ferrara]

There’s so much going on in this scene – and very little of it is overt. Junah’s swing, body language and dialogue reveal a total lack of confidence in his game. Bagger’s polite southern manner seems a necessity of the times. When he says he doesn’t play golf, after crushing a shot, that one sentence speaks volumes of the time he lives in. Bagger tone and extreme confidence in his speech and demeanor overwhelm Junah and provide an great set up for what to come. Subtext powers the scene as much as, and thanks to their dialogue.

SCENE from my feature film script The Ball Player.

INT. HOTEL SUITE (AUGUST 1968)

Joe and Mickey sit on a couch, talking. Two bottles of Johnnie Walker Red – one empty, one half full on the table.

SILENCE. Mickey slugs down his scotch and pours another.

JOE

You okay, Slick?

Mickey stares straight ahead, tears in his eyes.

MICKEY

I’m runnin’ out of time, Joe.

JOE

Naa, what are you talkin’ about?

MICKEY

My Dad, my grandfather, my uncles — they all died of Hodgkin’s by the time they were forty. That’s what’s waiting for me and there’s not a damn thing I can do about it.

Weeping, Mickey turns away.

MICKEY

It’s too young. Too God damn young.

JOE

Mick, take it easy, man. If you can’t control it, what the fuck difference does it make? It’s been fun. There’s been some real shitty shit too, but fuck it.

Mickey wipes tears and slugs down his shot.

MICKEY

I’m sorry, man. I’m sorry.

Joe pours them both another round. They sit there in SILENCE – as a thin smile creases Joe’s lips.

JOE

You know, when I was a kid, maybe eight or nine, my dad and I were crabbing off the Cross Bay Bridge. The sun was just coming up and it was so still, the bay was like a mirror and you could see your reflection in the water. It was nice — kind of other-worldly. I looked up at my dad and said, Dad, I feel like I’m gonna live forever. And he gave me one of those smiles- and said, that, right there. Never let that idea go. Hold onto it. Hold it tight.

Joe shakes his head as Mickey glances over.

JOE

Maybe I didn’t know shit – or maybe he was right.

Mickey peers into his scotch, a sad smile on his face.

MICKEY

I wish they were here with us right now.

Joe swirls scotch around in his glass, rubs the scar on his cheek and his smile dissolves into a look of despair.

[Steven Delisi]

A breakthrough for me, is how a character’s way of speaking tells us about him and how he will likely operate throughout the story. Bagger enters & ends the scene in a kind of poetic structure / way. Finally, when Bagger explains “we need to find your swing”, and engages Jonah in practice swings, he uses this rhythmical form of speaking, that he starts & stops with each golf shot by Junah, that punctuates the progression: Junah hitting the ball poorly … to better …. to great again. So, I realize that the differing rhythm & tempo for each character not only sets them apart from each other, but indicates who they really are.

[Pat Fitzgerald]

What I learned: That I actually have a Bagger-like character in my screenplay in progress. He comes out of nowhere, more or less, and acts as a mentor to my protagonist, whether she’s willing to accept his advice and assistance or not. I’m still not sure what the ultimate ending for these two will be, however that still doesn’t stop me from believing that he’s the right person for my protag to meet at exactly the time she meets him.

[Judith Resell]

I liked the simplicity of the scene. Each of three elements was outstanding: the two characters were clear, unique and sharp contrasts to one another and the setting of the scene a great choice. A discouraged man hitting golf balls that disappear aimlessly into the night. A spiritual character who emerges from that same darkness to show the way.