Week 1 Day 3: What I learned rewriting my scene/character…?

[Theodor Nelson]

A cool scene. The golfer practices but says he’s out of the game.

Bagger arrives, at once ingratiating and needling, talking his way in, and gets his deal as a caddy– “Five dollars guaranteed”, but we know he’s after the 10% if this man wins. So he’s confident.

My rewrite: making a character talk her way into the confidence of another.

[Ron Berti]

Your idea for a rewrite, once you said it, was an obvious way to apply the breakthrough. Thanks, you’ve got me feeling some creative juices.

[Joseph McGloin]

Rethink or
create a scene for your script using your new insights and rewrite that
scene/character.

The audience needs to see how he, either gradually or suddenly, became irresistibly attached to what he needs to let go of, and not just the results of the incident or process. Junah’s wound happened during the war. My character’s happened in a way we need to see to understand, not just see the results of that incident or process.

[Ron Berti]

I note that the three scenes you’ve had us dissect so far are all dialog-heavy, not action scenes. That seems to fly in the face of the admonition to “show, not tell”. Am I misunderstanding that old saw? Or misapplying it?

[Michael Williamsen]

Facial expressions, dialog delivery, settings, and subtext, subtext and more subtext can all be woven into a multi-d1mensional scene. Beggar Vance teases a bit to not be threatening, then makes his points with knowledge and action.

[James Hernandez]

What I learned rewriting my character/scene?

I learned that discovering the “right characters” is an integral part of the rewriting process. It’s the constant tweaking and finetuning of the characters that evolve with each rewrite; as the story evolves so do the characters which will hopefully capture my vision for the piece. And that vision could change, which then requires further character evolution and exploration.