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Week 2 Day 1: Belonging Together – SLEEPLESS IN SEATTLE
Posted by cheryl croasmun on May 18, 2022 at 6:26 pm1. Please watch this scene and provide your insights/breakthroughs into what makes this character great from a writing perspective.
2. Read the other writers comments and make notes of any insights/breakthroughs you like.
3. Rethink or create a scene for your script using your new insights and rewrite that scene/character.
A J Ferrara replied 2 years, 11 months ago 9 Members · 8 Replies -
8 Replies
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What causes you to believe these two belong together?
Annie & Sam answer Dr Marsha at the same time “sure you do” … responding to her “I don’t want to invade your privacy” comment.
They both seem equally clueless about what the Dr. suggests is missing for Sam.
Notice any similar emotions, words, and actions
– Annie starts to become emotional after hearing about Sam’s wife (taking care of him), and then again hearing his son talking to Dr. Marshall.
What drama is this scene built around?
Sam is a single Dad … he’s lonely, it’s Christmas time.
Annie is driving alone on a rainy night.
· What profile items (right character, traits, secret, wound, future) showed up in these two character’s words and actions?
He’s a bit naive & she’s cynical …
Contrast the way they each simultaneously say “sure you do” to Dr. Marsh
He’s clueless & even say’s “this is really fun” (future)
He’s needy. “It’s tough this time of year. Every kid needs a mother.”
Annie is empathic. * Annie’s wound might be triggered by hearing about Sam’s abandonment.
Insights & breakthroughs (my own)
Sam projects his own neediness onto Jonah when describing how tough it’s been. Then, Annie answers Dr. Marshall … before she says (to Sam) “Don’t answer that.”
what I didn’t notice (insights of others)
What I learned rewriting my scene / character ?
A breakthrough for me was to witness how seamlessly or nonchalantly Sam could project his neediness onto his son while on the phone with Dr. Marsha. It was done so matter of factly, so when she counters him with his own feelings at stake, that it gives this part of the scene even more depth.
My protagonist Darby is a bit cynical, while her father Kurtis … who is streetwise enough to evade a drug gang and dirty cops, yet they are both out of touch with their deeper feelings. I’m brainstorming scene ideas where they have to confront their individual loneliness or neediness.
Just like Dr. Marsha, another character, is manipulating them into confessional for an agenda of his own. This is likely to be a triangle relationship.
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What causes you to believe these two belong together?
Annie is moved by Sam’s description of his deceased wife.
She agrees with Dr. Marsha that Sam needs someone just as much as Jonah does.Notice any similar emotions, words, and actions.
They both respond the same way when Dr. Marsha says she doesn’t want to invade his privacy. “Sure you do.”What drama is this scene built around?
Annie is falling in love with Sam’s character, without ever having seen him, just from his voice and the things that he says.What profile items (right character, traits, secret, wound, future) showed up in these two character’s words and actions?
Annie is the right character to pursue Sam.
Sam is being a good dad, humoring his son, and is finding out some things about himself… like that he’s the one who needs someone. -
Week 2 Day 1: Belonging Together – SLEEPLESS IN SEATTLE
Insights & Breakthroughs
Breakthrough – Annie is probably lonelier than Sam is. There is pain on her face at hearing Sam’s story is blatant and obvious. What’s less obvious is that she doesn’t just sympathize, she understand because she lives it and exists in it as a daily subsistence of loneliness. She smiles when she and Sam say the same thing at the same time because she feels a genuine connection with someone who she’s never interacted with.
Insight – Sam’s son knows the value of companionship at a young age. It’s one thing to recognize that your father misses your mother. It’s another thing altogether to realize that your father needs love in his life in order to fully be functional. Calling a relationship talk show to get his father help is about a drastic a step as child his age can take. Such a daring move to take what has a high potential for embarrassment for his father
[SCENE]
Ciella Krimmel (F/20s/White) shares a drink with her new trainee Martin Reeks (M/30s/Black) at a local bar after their first day of work together. They sit at the bar as they converse.
Ciella – You surprised I asked you for a drink?
Martin – [shrugs] Not really. Some sort of team bonding ritual I guess.
She shrugs.
Ciella – Maybe. It’s my first time having a trainee. Never trained anyone before today.
Martin – Oh. Well. In that case.
Martin raises his glass of whiskey up for a toast. Ciella follows suit with he glass of brandy. CLINK. The glasses meet. They both take a sip from each of their own respective glasses.
Ciella – So how’d I do?
Martin – Well you had me nearly disemboweled by a Rottweiler so… maybe not so good.
She laughs.
CIella – Hey you did alright. Quick reflexes. Smart thinking. And, you didn’t hurt the dog. Must be all that dog training you had in the Army.
Martin – [Dryly) Ha ha. Funny. [Normal] Never even had dog growing up. My mother was fond of them. But my dad wouldn’t allow it.
Ciella – Well, we are our father’s creation aren’t we?
He raises his eyebrows and waits for her to continue.
Ciella – My father was a strict disciplinarian but he loved us all. And to this day I’ve never seen the kind of love my parents had anywhere else.
She takes a long drag of brandy from her glass and her firm smile goes dark grim.
Ciella – That all changed why my brother died. He changed. Tore apart every good fabric of our lives. Mom wasn’t able to last long and left soon after that took my older sister with her.
Martin – But not you?
Ciella – My father wouldn’t let me go. My sister was 18 and could make her own choices. But I was only eleven. I had no choices.
She runs her finger around the circumference of the rim of her glass as she stares into it with a somber face.
Martin – How did your brother die?
She freezes in place for a moment before she turns to him with a somber expression.
Ciella – He was murdered.
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Week 2 Day 1 Belonging Together – SLEEPLESS IN SEATTLE
• What causes you to believe these two belong together?
Sam and Annie have the same cynical reaction to the pop psychologist’s statements. They don’t believe this is a useful forum to find answers to their loneliness, but for very different reasons, both are on the same call: Sam because Jonah forces him into the situation, and Annie ostensibly because the program in on the radio while she drives. By the end of the scene, they both seem more open to the prospect and necessity of having someone in their lives.
• Notice any similar emotions, words, and actions.
Sam and Annie say the same thing, in unison, in response to Dr. Marcia’s comment that she doesn’t want to invade Sam’s privacy, “Sure, you do!” Sam is unaware of this, but it clearly leaves an impression on Annie, and she is reluctantly lured into paying closer attention to Sam and his responses. She tries to shake it off, just as Sam is trying to extricate himself from the conversation with Dr. Marcia.
· What drama is this scene built around?
Sam’s wife died and the holidays are particularly rough. As he points out, she is the one who always made things beautiful, and he is struggling to keep it together. Jonah seems to be dealing with the loss of his mother better than Sam is coping with the loss of his wife and being a single parent to his son.
· What profile items (right character, traits, secret, wound, future) showed up in these two character’s words and actions?
It seems pretty clear that both Sam and Annie have been hurt in their love lives and have built a wall around their heart, hoping to keep from getting hurt again. They share a healthy cynicism for pop psychology and the quick fix it offers, but each displays a small opening in their armor that might allow them to be open to allowing themselves to be vulnerable again.
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The parallelism throughout the scene is wonderful. The fact that Tom Hanks has confided in a radio psychologist clearly communicates to Meg Ryan how much he needs a woman’s comfort and support. He’s not ok with raising his son without a woman’s love.
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CM Week 2 Day 1: Belonging Together – Sleepless In Seattle
What I learned is to keep my rewrites up until all my scenes are linked together with “almosts” and near misses. Not bringing the desired outcome until the last scenes.
What causes you to believe these two belong together?
They both are listening to the radio show because they have a hole in their lives.
Notice any similar emotions, words, and actions.
1. They both are not impressed with radio Marsha wanting to be called Dr. Marsha.
2. Both answer together, “Sure you do.”
3. Looks of empathy from Annie listening to Sam talking about his passed wife, Maggie.
4. They obviously need someone. Sam is quiet, but Annie speaks it. “Yes!”
5. Annie is sucked into Sam and Jonah’s story overwhelmingly.· What drama is this scene built around?
IMDB
“After his wife Maggie passes away, Sam Baldwin and his 8-year-old son Jonah relocate from Chicago to Seattle to escape the grief associated with Maggie’s death. Eighteen months later, Sam is still grieving and can’t sleep. Although Jonah misses his mother, he wants his father to get a new wife despite Sam having not even contemplated dating again. On Christmas Eve, Sam (on Jonah’s initiative) ends up pouring his heart out on a national radio talk show about his magical and perfect marriage to Maggie, and how much he still misses her. Among the many women who hear Sam’s story and fall in love with him solely because of it is Annie Reed, a Baltimore-based newspaper writer. Annie’s infatuation with Sam’s story and by association with Sam himself is despite being already engaged. But Annie’s relationship with her straight-laced fiancé Walter is unlike her dream love life in the movie An Affair to Remember (1957). She even writes to Sam, proposing they meet atop the Empire State Building on Valentine’s Day. Back in Seattle, Sam has received hundreds of letters from women wanting to meet him. Jonah is excited by one letter in particular from Baltimore and will do whatever he needs to to get his father and Annie together. However, old-fashioned Sam wants his future love life to be based on meeting a woman the traditional way, and he, in turn, becomes infatuated with an unknown woman he spots a few times in Seattle. Will magic happen twice in Sam’s life, and if so, will it be with this unknown woman or Annie?” —Huggo
· What profile items (right character, traits, secret, wound, future) showed up in these two characters’ words and actions?
As illustrated during the call, they think alike, parroting the same opinions using the exact words!
Brilliant writing! Jeff Arch seems to have set every scene up, so the audience is on the edge of their seats wanting Annie and Sam to come together in the worst way. But Arch expertly teases the audience over and over with unforeseen disconnects. Leaving the audience with tears in their eyes and exhausted as the movie ends. Brilliant work of art!
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What’s great about this scene is that it’s almost that they are actually talking to each other and not just one person talking to the radio host and other inadvertently listening while driving. We get to see one person talking and the other reacting to the conversation directly – this is better than seeing the reaction much later in the story.
Other ways that I’ve seen this done is with two people that should be together having parallel conversations with friends in different locations.
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A great example of how two souls seem destined for each other. Mannerisms, words said and not said seem to indicated that for different reasons Annie and Sam are lonely and searching fr something more.
In the scene below, Tony and Alex after going through Tony’s life and death ordeal,with them both believing they have forged a strong bond; see it all unravel in a shocking climax.
INT. HOSPITAL ROOM – DAY
Tony lies in bed, asleep. His right leg, elevated in a foot to hip cast. A bandage wrapped around his head. A teddy bear lies by his side.
A closer look REVEALS beads of sweat on his forehead, his breathing, heavy. Suddenly, his eyes bulge open in horror and recognition – his memory returned.
He glances around the room, then looks down and spots the teddy bear.
A FLASH: Jenna hands Tony the teddy bear.
RETURN TO SCENE.
He picks up the bear and examines.
Alex appears in the open doorway and KNOCKS.
ALEX
Thought you could use some company.
Tony forces a smile. Alex approaches and stands by the bedside. Nervous tension fills the room.
ALEX
How are you feeling?
TONY
Like I was hit by a truck.
ALEX
I’ll bet. Has your memory comeback?
A flash of fear crosses Tony’s face.
TONY
They said, I have a severe concussion. My memory — it could be few days, a few weeks they’re not really sure. Anyway, nobody’s come to claim me.
A little surprised, Alex forces a chuckle.
ALEX
I heard you were in surgery for quite a while.
TONY
Fifteen hours. The doctor said, there’s a seventy-five percent chance they saved my leg.
Alex glances down, spots the teddy bear and smiles.
ALEX
And what’s this?
Tony grins.
TONY
Our little friend Jenna came by with her aunt to visit. She brought me a gift.
ALEX
Did they tell her about her mother?
Tony gives a grim head shake.
ALEX
I can’t even imagine — but you should be — you were there for her. You helped save her life.
Tony fights back a tear.
TONY
Really, it was you, but I’m glad I could help. For a while there, it felt like she WAS my daughter.
Tony takes Alex’ hand.
TONY
I want to thank you for everything you did for me. I wouldn’t be alive if it wasn’t for you.
Alex gazes at Tony – she’s wants to show her growing feelings, but a battle is raging in her head – Tony notices.
TONY
It’s okay. Sometimes things don’t turn out like you hope.
Alex puts her other hand over his, caresses it gently, then leans in and they exchange a tender kiss.
She releases-
ALEX
I gotta go.
– turns, heads for the door-
TONY
Take care of those kids.
– and exits the room.
INT. HOSPITAL HALL – DAY
Alex walks down the hall, trying to contain her torment.
Alex turns a corner and approaches the elevator. Oblivious, she passes two MEN, wearing suits, speaking with a NURSE, at the nurses station.
Alex presses the elevator button and waits.
The VOLUME from a T.V. gets her attention. Alex notices five people standing by a T.V. in the waiting room. Curious, she approaches-
INT. WAITING ROOM – DAY
– and enters the room.
NEWSCASTER (V.O.)
If you’re just joining us, we have an important update on the bombing at the Sepulveda Veteran’s Administration Building two days ago.
ON T.V. SCREEN: A FEMALE NEWSCASTER, 30’s, speaks.
NEWSCASTER
We have confirmation from the Los Angeles Police Department that this appears to have been a terrorist attack. A man has been identified, after video-
Newscaster pauses, a hand to her ear piece.
NEWSCASTER
Yes, we’re going to roll it now.
Video ROLLS ON T.V. SCREEN:
– A man (we can’t see his face) walks through the desolate building lobby, wearing a large back pack.
CUT TO:
– the man walks down a stairwell.
Alex stares at the T.V.
NEWSCASTER (V.O.)
This video, from recovered building surveillance shows the suspect entering-
FLASHBACK: EXT. AMBULANCE – DAY
Alex sits at the open rear door of the ambulance, staring grim-faced at the video on the I-PAD.
ON I-PAD SCREEN:
– a door opens. The man enters the basement and walks down a corridor, BACK TO CAMERA.
NEWSCASTER (V.O.)
– the basement approximately thirty minutes before the explosion, with a backpack. He walks down a hall-
CUT TO:
– The man places the backpack behind a pillar. He rips open the backpack to REVEAL a two blocks of C-4 explosives, with multiple detonator caps merging into an old FLIP PHONE.
NEWSCASTER (V.O.)
– and you can see, right there, he places the backpack, that seems to have some type of cellphone detonator, against one of the building’s support columns.
The man presses the power button and the phone lights up.
RETURN TO SCENE.
VIDEO ON T.V. SCREEN:
HE TURNS – WE SEE IT’S TONY, AS HE PULLS A SMART PHONE FROM HIS POCKET AND RETRACES BACK UP THE HALL.
NEWSCASTER (V.O.)
The alleged bomber is a former Army Ranger, who served four tours of duty in Afghanistan, with experience in ordinance disposal and has a history of-
Alex’ eyes fill with tears, her focus riveted on the T.V.
NEWSCASTER (V.O.)
– what was termed severe Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Unnamed sources within the Veterans Administration state the man-
VIDEO ON T.V SCREEN:
– Tony sits at the bottom of the stairwell, BACK TO CAMERA, head down, shoulders heaving, as he weeps.
NEWSCASTER (V.O.)
– was an out-patient at the Sepulveda V.A. and had recently shown both violent and suicidal tendencies.
CUT TO:
– A picture of Tony, in full dress uniform. The SUPER, BELOW THE PICTURE READS: CORPORAL ROBERT E. BENTON
NEWSCASTER (V.O.)
The suspect, Corporal Robert E. Benton, a resident of Los Angeles, was rescued from the basement of the building-
FLASHBACK: EXT. AMBULANCE -DAY
ON I-PAD SCREEN: A picture of Tony, in full dress uniform. The SUPER, BELOW THE PICTURE READS: CORPORAL ROBERT E. BENTON
Alex sits on the back of the ambulance, her grim-faced gaze locked on the I-PAD.
NEWSCASTER (V.O.)
– along with a seven year old girl who had just entered the building with her mother, an Army widow, who died in the blast. A dozen other Veteran’s Administration employees were also pulled from the rubble with minor injuries.
Alex swipes the screen for each frame.
ON I-PAD SCREEN:
– A P.D.F. file cover page titled: Veterans Administration Psychological Profile – Corporal Robert Benton. 2014-2017
– A picture of a smiling Tony and Garcia, in fatigues, standing outside a tent.
– A picture of Tony, with his wife and son.
NEWSCASTER (V.O.)
So far, five deaths have been reported, including two members of Los Angeles Fire and Rescue. Benton is said to have suffered a traumatic leg injury and a severe concussion that had left him with amnesia.
INT. HOSPITAL ROOM – DAY
Weeping silently, Tony stares at the ceiling-
NEWSCASTER (V.O.)
However, Channel Four News has learned that within the last twelve hours, Benton’s memory has returned.
A FLASH:
INT. APARTMENT – DAY: Tony places a backpack on the coffee table, flips it open and views two C-4 explosives blocks, hooked to detonator caps and the old FLIP PHONE.
RETURN TO SCENE.
– tears streaming down his face.
NEWSCASTER (V.O.)
He has admitted to detonating the device, but has refused to give a motive for the attack; although officials believe Benton’s severely impaired mental state from the recurring P.T.S.D. and his anger regarding the prescribed drug treatment were likely a factor.
INT. WAITING ROOM – DAY
As the newscaster’s voice fades into the background, tears stream down Alex’ cheeks, her expression, utter shock, heartbreak and unspeakable pain.
NEWSCASTER (V.O.)
Those same V.A. sources believe that despite the detonation of a large amount of military grade explosives, the precise placement of the bomb, directly below the main atrium lobby, and early hour of the bombing may indicate an attempt at suicide rather than a desire to inflict mass casualties. And it may have been that very placement that saved Benton’s life.
FADE TO BLACK.
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