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Week 2 Day 1: Character Intros That Sell Actors — LOST intro of Jack.
1. Please watch this character intro scene and provide your insights into what makes them great from a writing perspective.
2. Read the other writers insights and make notes of how you will improve your character intros.
3. Rethink your Character Intro scene using your new insights and rewrite the scene. T
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5 Replies
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WATCH 1ST TIME FOR:
– BASIC SCENE COMPONENTS — SCENE ARC, SITUATION, CONFLICT, MOVING THE STORY FORWARD, ENTERTAINMENT VALUE, AND SETUPS/PAYOFFS.
– starts with a disheveled man, somewhat injured, in a suit and tie on a tropical beach somewhere, looking very shocked and worried and wondering. Great contrasting images & suspense.
– ends with him, Jack, becoming somewhat of a leader at a plane crash site, helping injured man and pregnant lady…. Seems to be a doctor or with medical experience. Orders people around to help the injured. No mention of anything about Jack or what happened — it’s all through action.
– dangerous wind from propeller, fire, leaking fuel, mention of danger and need to get out of there, and explosion, struggling to save people in time.
– right now we’re worried about triage and immediate needs of injured, but in the back of our minds, will they get help from outside, will they make it, etc.
WATCH 2ND TIME FOR:
WHAT MAKES THIS SCENE GREAT?
– very dramatic scene of a plane crash on a beach somewhere with lots of unanswered questions. The immediate need to get away from possible explosion (which does happen), to help injured. Some get killed.
HOW IS THIS LEAD CHARACTER INTRODUCED, AND WHO THEY ARE INTRODUCED TO US AS?
– Man in suit (professional??), then he starts to help injured and orders people to help. He’s a natural or professional leader, probably a doctor the way he treats the man and the pregnant woman. He’ll be at least one of the main characters in this story.
WHAT MAKES HIM SPECIAL OR UNIQUE?
– he seems better dressed, responds to call for help, takes command of the situation.
INTERESTING DIALOGUE.
– less dialogue, but very interesting: warning of possible explosion due to fuel leak and need to get away, Jack ordering people to help injured. And finally someone asks his name – Jack. (He doesn’t say Dr. Xxxx).
HOW ARE THEIR ACTIONS DIFFERENT THAN EVERYONE ELSE?
– no one is reacting quickly enough, they are all stunned. Jack is stunned at first, but then overcomes it when the injured man calls for help and his professional persona takes over.
WHAT MAKES THIS CHARACTER INTRO SCENE GREAT FROM A WRITING PERSPECTIVE
– there isn’t much dialogue, no expository, just the scene, the action, and minimum dialogue that says it all.
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This is a very powerful scene which is the immediate aftermath of a plane crash. The camera focuses on Jack, the only man in a suit and tie who is walking /running towards the crash, the other people are scattered about running to and fro. Jack looks out for people in distress and when he first sees a man stuck under a pile of iron, he organizes a team to help lift him out, then makes a tournequet out of his tie.
When he sees a pregnant woman, he tells her she’ll be ok then commands another man take her of the fumes.
Jack is the person taking control, he is a natural leader, capable, efficient, able to give orders and people naturally obey him. He is someone the audience knows is worth watching as he will play an intrinsic part in helping this group survive. We are interested in following him.
Main characters must have something above and beyond what other characters have and regardless of genre, they must stand out from the crowd – through action,dialogue, circumstances – traits that make them unique and worth watching.
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Week 2 Day 1: Character Intros That Sell Actors – Lost Intro of Jack
Flight 815 has crashed and it’s complete chaos on the beach, people
injured, some dead, twisted wreakage, burning and smoking parts
of the plane, crying, screaming. JACK awakes from where he landed
and runs to the cries that are most pominent. He immediately takes
charge applying medical treatment, moving people out of harms
way, providing supervision to those able to help out. Jack has minor
injuries himself, but is only concern is the safety and well being of
the other PASSENGERS. This PREGNANT YOUNG WOMAN gets his
special attention and her and a HELPER is saved from a part of the
wing of the plane almost crashed down on them.
What I learned:
By Jack putting everyone before himself, made him stand out above
everyone else, he didn’t waste anytime taking charge, helping others,
supervising those who were in near shock to help out. Jack’s unique
action, interesting dialogue, facing challenge helped save lives. Why
would’nt a star wan’t to play a role that makes he or she a hero.
THE PITCH:
Code name “Green Lucies” a Military Intelligence Recon Unit, the Army’s
best kept secrete a covert mission.
TITLE: “THE GREEN LUCIES”
GENRE: WAR
FADE IN:
EXT. C-141 MILITARY JET FLYING STELTH – NIGHT
The C-141 flies low enough to hide from enemy detection as it nears it’s
destination.
INT. C-141 MILITARY JET – NIGHT
The Green Lucies, on board the C-141,camouflaged in material that cloaks
them from enemy detection, Top secrete firepower, parashutes ready for
green light, under the Command of COLONEL AUDREY.
The C-141 takes on some small enemy fire from GROUND FORCES.
The C-141 slows for drop, the door opens, the light turn green.
THE FLIGHT MAN
Go! Go! Go!
The Green Lucies parachute into the night, one by one, the C-141 increases,
speed, altitude and heads back to home base.
EXT. FOREIGN JUNGLE – NIGHT
After landing, burying their parachutes, the Green Lucies, become involved in
a fire fight with ENEMY FORCES that watched them land. SCOUTS from a nearby
Garrison, after a short battle, the Green Lucies kill them all. The Green Lucies
only form of comunication is by sign language, part of the training, when you
eliminate speach the other senses (hearing,taste,touch,sight,smell)sharpen with
less effort.
Green Lucies make their way threw the jungle headed to Garrison, killing,
PERIMETER GUARDS along the way.
EXT. GARRISON A SMALL TOWN – NIGHT
The Garrison is a town occupied by a small BATTALION OF ENEMY TROOPS.
The green Lucies have intell that The TOWNS PEOPLE are being held captive,
CHIDREN used as slaves, WOMEN used for sex, and the MEN are held in a
make shift prison and every night one of the towns people are killed for sport.
The Green Lucies watch hidden in the bush, cloaked and undetected.
Colonel Audrey uses sign language orders and they begin their assault.
Two of the Lucies create a diversion by setting off several claymores mines that
start a big fire, of which enemy troops rush to contain.
Three Lucies, invade the quarters where the Women are held, killing the GUARDS,
freeing the Women and arming them, they begin killing off ENEMY SOLDIERS.
Four Lucies attack and kill the Enemy Soldiers holding the Children, then lead
them to safty out side of the town.
Colonel Audrey leads the remainder of the Lucies to the make shift prison, battles
it out with the GUARDS, killing them, free the Men, arming them, by now
the Enemy Soldiers are taking heavy casualties, they begin to retreat out of
town. The towns people begin cheering and thanking them, they don’t reveal
who they are, only that they are AMERICANS.
Just as quickly as the arrived the Green Lucies bade farewell to the Towns People
and head for their extraction point, located somewhere in the jungle…
In time of crisis Americans aways their to lend a helping hand. THE END.
FADE OUT
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Week 2 Day 2: Characterization Scene-WHEN HARRY MET SALLY
What I Learned:
Nora Ephrom is a Master of Dialogue, and thats what I learn most, she used
dialogue to expose each Character on the sureface and below the sureface
(subtext) beautifly. She made a difficult task look easy. I must also
mention that Rob Reiner brought everthing together with his excellent
Directing.
When Harry met Sally
It’s a crafty dialogue driven story which delves deeply into Harry’s and
Sally’s thoughts, lives, the way they think and behave. From the moment
they drive from Chicago to New York they discover they have something in
common and their on and off relationship begins, mostly conversation at first.
They both experience failed mairages, failed relationships, loneliness,
and before you know it their on again. The conversations in the restaurant
when Sally demonstrates that some women fake an orgasm is a turning point,
they begin to realize their fondness for one another is growing. I like
the contrast used with the OLDER COUPLES sharing how they met and all the
happy years the’ve spent together, very creative.
THE MAKINGS OF A LONG HAPPY LIFE TOGETHER:
LOVE – An intense feeling of deep affection.
UNDERSTANDING – The ability to understand something, comprehension.
HARDWORK – Tending to work with energy, commitment, and deligence.
THE PITCH:
ROBERTO GIORGIO an industrialist, and TOM WALLAS a struggling writer compete
for the affections of lovely LOUISE IRVETTE a Model & Fashion Designer.
Will money and arrogance or prose and understanding win her heart.
TITLE: “AN UNDERSTANDING HEART”
GENRE: ROMANCE
FADE IN:
EXT. LOUIS’S FASHION STUDIO – NOON
ROBERTO GIORGIO and LOUISE IRVETTE stand facing each other as he hands her
the keys attached to a rose of:
CLOSE ON – A 2023 BMW M3
TOM WALLIS, appears at the door of Fashion Studio ease dropping on the conversation.
ROBERTO GIORGIO
My last gift of expensive jewelry had no affect on you.
Shall we go to lunch in your new BMW to mark our sixth
month relationship?
LOUISE IRVETTE
Roberto, yes we have shared several dinners together,
and they were pleasent, but lets not rush things. It’s
sweet of you but I can’t except this gift.
ROBERTO GIORGIO
Louise, I’m fond of you, and anything that would bring
us closer I’m willing to do.
LOUISE IRVETTE
Roberto, you’re a professional and so am I, time
constraints are a problem. Besides, a relationship
wouldn’t be good right now. I’m having a Fashion
this fall, and I’m busy designing an all new line
up of fall ware. I hope you understand?
ROBERTO GIORGIO
Well, don’t expect me to give up on our relationship,
because I won’t. I’ll keep trying, regardless of what
it takes, money, jewels, cars, etc.
Roberto gets into the BMW and drives away.
Louise joins Tom and enters her Fashion Studio.
INT. LOUISE FASHION STUDIO – NOON
TOM WILLIS
I could’nt help hearing you conversation with Roberto,
such arrogance, he thinks he can buy anything including
love, what a blind fool. I have the Copy for the Fall
Fashion Show, take a look and see if there are any
changes you like me to make.
Louise and Tom go to her office and go over the Copy he has written…
LATER THAT EVENING
INT. LOUISE FASHION STUDIO
Louise and Tom are leaving the Studio for the day.
TOM WILLIS
How about us heading over to the bar for a couple
of drinks to unwind?
LOUISE IRVETTE
Not tonight I have an impotant engagement.
TOM WILLIS
I hope it’s not with that arrogant industrialist!
LOUISE IRVETTE
No, It’s something personal I have to take care of,
we have a busy day lined up for tomarrow, better
rest up. I’ll see you then, good evening.
Louise walks to her car hops in and drives away, Tom does the same.
EXT. PRIVATE HOSPITAL – EVENING
Louise drives into Hospital parking lot, parks and enters the Hospital.
INT. PRIVATE HOSPITAL – EVENING
Louise stops at the Nurse’s Station.
HEAD NURSE
Good evening Ms. Irvette, your Daughter is feeling
much better this evening, we’ve moved her to a
happier setting we hope you approve.
The HEAD NURSE escorts Louise to her duaghter’s room.
INT. LOUISE DUAGHTER’S ROOM – EVENING
Louise and the Nurse enter the room and JENNY sit up in her bead brushing the hair
of her doll, she has burns on her face, chest and arms.
JENNY
Mommy! Mommy!
Louis rushes to Jenny and takes her into her arms.
LOUISE IRVETTE
I’m so glad to see you, I miss you so much.
The Nurse leaves the room.
LOUISE IRVETTE
As soon as you are well enough, we’ll be together,
I’ll take you to Disney World, and we’ll have lots
of fun. Would you like that?
JENNY
Yes Momma,
Louis kisses Jenny on the cheek…
EXT. HIGH CLASS SKY SCRAPPING HOTEL – EVENING
The Hotel glitters in the dust light as it reaches for the sky.
INT. HIGH CLASS SKY SCRAPPING HOTEL – EVENING
Plush Decor surrounds a FULL HOUSE OF GUEST awaiting the Fashion show, solft music
is being played by a BAND OF FIVE MUSICIANS, they conversate as they enjoy
horderves and drinks of their choice.
There’s a drum roll as Louise makes here way center platform dresses to kill in
one of her latest designs, she address the Guests.
LOUISE IRVETTE
Ladies and Gentlemen, I would like to draw your
attention to our Fall Line up. And I hope you
enjoy the show.
The music starts and the modeling begins, the LADIES make their way to the platform
high stepping, prancing, showing off their wares. The Guests applaud after each
design as they make their way on and off the platform.
BACK STAGE:
Louise and Tom watch the show from backstage.
TOM WILLIS
Louise, I’m so proud of you, Your designs are
magnificent, can I hug you?
LOUISE IRVETTE
It was your copy that helped to make everything
happen.
Louise and Tom embrace, Tom almost kisses Louise, they gaze into each others eyes.
After the show many of the designs are ordered, one of Louise’s most successful
presentations.
INT. NIGHT SPOT FOR DINNING & DRINKS – NIGHT
After dinner Louise and Tom sit close together at the dinner table gazing deeply
into each others eyes over drinks.
TOM WILLIS
Louis, you have the most beautiful smile, I’ve
been hiding somthing from you. I want you know
that I fell for you the momment we first met.
I’ve never met anyone like you, when I’m
around you my life feels complete.
LOUISE IRVETTE
Those are the most beautiful words that have ever
been said to me. I have always felt a closeness to
you, but I didn’t know if you felt the same. Its
conforting to know how you feel about me.
Louise and Tom kiss and they leave the restaurant cuddled.
EXT. TOM WILLIS HOUSE – NIGHT
Still cuddled Louise and Tom enter Tom’s house and close the door, the interior lights
go on momments later the lights go off…
THE END
FADE OUT
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Week 2 Day 3 Character Subtext #1 – Get Out
What I learned:
Creating Subtext with the right planning is fun.
What makes the scene great is that all the players know that Chris is a
victum except him.
THE PITCH: The uninvited guest at the Golf Course.
TITLE: “LITTLE STINKER”
GENRE: Comedy
FADE IN:
EXT. LOCAL GOLF COURSE – MORNING
Located in the rough of the golf course is the star a young skunk gathering food
and suddenly a golf ball falls near him.
Out of no where appears DEOGOL SMITH a golfer having a bad day, the Little Skunk
takes cover. Deogol Smith suffering from hayfever, wips his nose with a
handkerchief, takes is club and perpares to strike the golf ball out of the
rough.
Deogol Smith swings and hits the golf ball out of the rough, it frightens the
Little Skunk and he sprays the back of the golfer as he leaves the rough.
Deogol Smith has no idea that he has been sprayed by the Little Skunk and smells
nothing because of his hayfever, rejoins the other GROUP OF GOLFERS.
The The OBSERVERS standing behind the roped off area notices his smell and step
away, some are even pinching their nose to avoid the smell.
The COMPETITORS in the game have now distanced themselves from Deogol Smith and
are now pinching their noses.
As the game proceeeds the Players one by one are dropping out of the game, and
Spectator are dissapearing as well.
Deogol Smith as he prepars to tee off, looks arround, notices that he’s almost
alone on the golf course.
There is only one Man left standing near Deogol, waiting to tee off after him
and he’s pinching his nose, he gestures, “You Stink” while pointing at Deogol…
THE END
FADE OUT
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