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Week 2 Day 2: Worthy Opponents – TOMBSTONE
Posted by cheryl croasmun on May 18, 2022 at 6:28 pmPlease watch this scene and provide your insights/breakthroughs into what makes this character great from a writing perspective.
Read the other writers comments and make notes of any insights/breakthroughs you like.
Rethink or create a scene for your script using your new insights and rewrite that scene/character.
Rosemary Lismore replied 3 years ago 9 Members · 8 Replies -
8 Replies
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What tension comes from putting these two worthy opponents face-to-face?
Each feels the other is less.
What does Doc discover about Johnny’s character in their first meeting?
Johnny is as educated as he is.
How these two characters stand out from the others.
– Both are uniquely gifted at gun play.
What drama is this scene built around?
Johnny Ringo is aware that Doc is there to catch or stop him. Doc is aware of Johnny’s notorious reputation as an outlaw. Johnny lets him know that he’s in their tavern. Doc makes fun of Johnny in front of everybody. At first he challenges his intellect. Johnny counters him, then goes on the offensive with a gun play display that likely can’t be matched. But then Doc counters with a funny display of talent using his drink cup.
What profile items (right character, traits, secret, wound, future) showed up in these two character’s words and actions?
Doc is drunk.
Doc is cocky and self confident.
Ringo is prideful.
Both are smart.
INSIGHT: both are made to be the center of attention by the other … each having to keep cool under pressure. It’s like they reverberate shared traits with one another until something has to give.
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Week 2 Day 2: Worthy Opponents – TOMBSTONE
· What tension comes from putting these two worthy opponents face-to-face?
Everyone in the saloon expects a show down between Ringo and Doc Holliday. The best of the best are facing off and there is no doubt in anyone’s mind that they will take up the challenge to prove which one is truly the best.
· What does Doc discover about Johnny’s character in their first meeting?
Doc realizes that there is far more to Johnny’s character than he assumed. Johnny is not the mindless thug he presents. He is educated, extremely confident, and very comfortable in his own skin. He is fearless and beyond competent with a gun.
· How do these two characters stand out from the others?
Everyone else in the saloon is either scared or excited at the prospect of what is going to happen between these two gunfighters. As their confrontation progresses, some people scramble to get out of the line of “fire” and some people get closer to get a better view, like at a boxing match of two perfectly matched heavy weight champions fighting for the belt.
· What drama is this scene built around?
This is their first meeting. The first time they can size each other up and decide just how dangerous each one is to the other. It’s their first chance to see how much of their reputation is hype and how much is gospel.
· What profile items (right character, traits, secret, wound, future) showed up in these two character’s words and actions?
Because of the world they live and compete in, these characters were destined to meet. (As they say in Highlander, there can be only one.) Once they come face-to-face, their ambitions and fear of losing are exposed. Then, it is just a matter of what form the challenge takes. On the surface, it seems that Johnny Ringo has bested Doc Holliday with his gun skills, but in reality, a completely inebriated and dying Doc Holliday shows up Johnny by mimicking his every single move with a metal shot glass, basically making a joke out of him. From that moment on, their future is set in stone. They must meet again and see who is left standing.
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They are the two truly interesting people in the room. Each has a surprising anomaly. Johnny knows Latin. Doc, while coming across as the less competent drunken one, is drawing out more information about Johnny than Johnny is about Doc.
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There’s tension in the bar already, when the “good guys” and the “bad guys” are standing face to face. It elevated when Doc says, “Should I hate him?” The eye contact between Doc and Ringo is deadly.
Doc learns that Ringo is educated when they engage in the Latin dual.
They stand out from the crowd due to the Latin dual, as well as the gun twirling, which Doc turns into a comedic situation when he starts twirling his drink cup.
Drama is built around the tension of their first meeting.
They are similar in that they are both notorious, but Ringo is challenging and Doc is bored, couldn’t care less. A future is implied by the show-offy pistol twirling and Doc’s nonchalant response to it. There may be a showdown in the future.
Traits:
Ringo is confrontational, arrogant, self-confident, educated.
Doc is bored, educated, self-depreciating, won’t back down.
These characters are great worthy opponents because they are equal in skills, education and notoriety. They clearly dislike each other and will not back down from a confrontation.
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Doc Holiday has tuberculosis. What’s interesting here is that Ringo outright asks Doc if he’s retired like Wyatt Earp. Doc says he’s still in his “prime,” even though he looks ill, essentially saying he’s ready for whatever Doc Holiday has to bring to a gun fight.
Doc challenges Ringo with a quick slip of the tongue in Latin, but Ringo responds in Latin as well. What we have is a standoff. Both parties are stilled gunmen, smart, and the ultimate story will be a battle of wits as well as gunpower.
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What tension comes from putting these two worthy opponents face-to-face?
Both are still in the game. Wyatt backs off by saying he’s retired but Doc shows no fear.
What does Doc discover about Johnny’s character in their first meeting?
Johnny can handle a gun and he’s not just a thief – he’s an intelligent, educated thief
How these two characters stand out from the others.
No one want to get in a gunfight with either.
What drama is this scene built around?
They pretend that they don’t know each other’s names initially, even though they both know damn well who the other is.
What profile items (right character, traits, secret, wound, future) showed up in these two character’s words and actions?
Doc has no fear. He’s completely confident in his ability.
Ringo is unique – an educated outlaw, and also confident he cant be beat
Insight: Doc and Ringo are more similar than either one of them would care to imagine.
In this scene, Laura convinces Williams she want to be his partner in a drug deal, when she has no intention of doing so.
INT. HOTEL SUITE – NIGHT
Laura paces the room, wearing her skin tight dress. A KNOCK on the door. She checks the peep hole, forces a smile and opens the door.
Williams stands there, lust and mistrust on his mind. Laura lets him in and closes the door.
Williams surveys the room – then, sticks his head in the bathroom.
LAURA
It’s just you and me.
WILLIAMS
So, we have a deal. No Benji.
LAURA
Yes.
Satisfied, he shuffles right to the bed, pulls off his shirt and sits.
WILLIAMS
You see? I’m a prophet. I knew you would make it right. You had to be with me. You had to be with the Prophet. I know these things.
Laura glides to the bed and stands in front of him.
LAURA
And you remembered I like strong men.
Williams grabs her hips and jerks her closer. He buries his face in her crotch and inhales. He runs his hand far up her thigh to her crotch.
WILLIAMS
Ahh, no games with you, I see.
Laura feigns interest in the dense matt of tattoo’s scribbled in prison style all over his shoulders, scrolling down his back. She side steps as she moves his hand, kneels next to him on the bed and reads the tattoo aloud.
Williams nods in agreement as she reads:
LAURA
“I was a marked man from a god- forsaken territory. I brought with me, the rotten smell of blood, death and destruction. Many gangsters had sworn to take my reputation, but through my fast reflexes I have survived their blows.”
Laura caresses the tattoo.
LAURA
Wow. That’s so hot. But we should talk first. It’s important because-
Williams whips Laura into his lap and kisses her neck.
WILLIAMS
No more talking.
Williams grabs Laura’s hair – she tries to hide a flash of fear – he jerks her head back and kisses her passionately.
EXT. HOTEL PARKING LOT – NIGHT
The BMW sits at the end of a row of cars in the back lot, bordered by tall bushes. Seb walks along the long line of cars, stalling for time.
Hidden by the bushes, Clarence smokes a cigarette and notices Seb’s approach – and his white gloves.
Seb nears the BMW and stops cold. He reads the vanity plate: “THE PROPHET” Suddenly curious, he circles around to the drivers side. He looks in the driver’s side window-
Quick footsteps – Seb turns – BOOM! Clarence throws Seb in a headlock and SLAMS HIM AGAINST THE CAR.
INT. HOTEL SUITE – NIGHT
Williams stands up with Laura in his arms and tosses her on the bed. He climbs on top of her – notices her odd, distracted expression and angrily grabs her by the hair.
WILLIAMS
Say what you have to say, baby.
Laura looks at him intensely, stalling – stalling.
LAURA
Someone wants to take you out.
Williams smirks.
WILLIAMS
Lots of people wanna take me out. Every day, people wanna take me out.
Laura hesitates-
LAURA
Benji paid money to this guy Mbona. He put a hit on you.
What the fuck?! Williams turns choleric. He grabs Laura.
WILLIAMS
Who is Mbona? How do you know Mbona?
LAURA
Let me show you.
Williams releases and backs off. Laura picks her phone up off the night stand, scrolls and shows Williams the phone number.
Williams pulls a phone from his pocket, keys the number in – Mbona’s name pops up.
LAURA
If we’re gonna be partners, we have to trust each other. We’ve got to be transparent.
He looks at Laura, trying to hide his disbelief, then taps a speed dial.
Laura watches with deep concern.
WILLIAMS (O.S.)
Quickly man, bring the car around. Bring it now.
Williams listens – glances at Laura – he nods and his brow furrows.
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CM Week 2 Day 2: Worthy Opponents – TOMBSTONE
What I learned rewriting my scene, is where appropriate I need to define my characters by showing the real, not trumped-up, tension between my heroes and their antagonists.
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What makes this character great from a writing perspective.
Doc is written in great, as we not only see him vie up to his opponent with words and actions, but overtake him with humour/perspective in a situation. We see Doc strong enough even while drunk to use smart wits to respond to Johnny. We see Doc able to control himself while Johnny just uses bravado. Control shows strength of character. Written in great as in one scene we see depth of character.
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