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Week 2 Day 4: Triangle – OCEAN’S 11
1. Please watch this scene and provide your insights/breakthroughs into what makes this character great from a writing perspective.
2. Read the other writers comments and make notes of any insights/breakthroughs you like.
3. Rethink or create a scene for your script using your new insights and rewrite that scene/character.
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9 Replies
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What makes this triangle interesting?
One of the three just got out of prison.
· Where do you see secrets, intrigue, and emotional needs?
Danny is the known thief who was convicted. But Terry the casino owner is the real criminal.
· Where do you see conflict between each point of the triangle?
Danny wants Tess back but she is still hurt that he left her. She doesn’t admit that she still has feeling s for Danny.
· What drama is this scene built around?
Danny shows up unexpectedly. He’s come for her and he states this upfront. But, she’s still angry that he concealed (lied to her) what he was doing. He left her by being arrested & going to jail. * Terry is to show up at any moment.
· What profile items (right character, traits, secret, wound, future) showed up in these two character’s words and actions?
Her wound, abandonment emerges
Danny’s wound, he feels betrayed. Terry’s wound: jealousy
INSIGHT – Tess’ wound is further opened when Terry asks Danny, “you recently were released from prison, is that correct? (Danny answers) How does it feel to be out?” Danny replies, “about the same.”
This matter of fact statement that there was and still is something between him and her.
Breakthrough: subtext works on multiple levels in a triangle
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Week 2 Day 4: Triangle – OCEAN’S 11
What makes this love triangle interesting?
I think what makes this love triangle interesting is the subtext of all three characters. They are all operating on their own agendas, which on the surface seems obvious: Danny is freshly out of prison and wants his wife back, Tess is still harboring hurt feelings and anger toward Danny, and Terry walks into a situation that may very well challenge the control he covets. As soon as Danny and Terry meet, however, the triangle shifts a bit and it becomes a power struggle between the two men, not only for Tess’s affection, but for “winning” at the other’s expense.
Where do you see secrets, intrigue, and emotional needs?
Danny claims to want his wife back, but is he really just trying to steer her away from the man he is about to rob so she’s not caught in the middle? Tess claims that Terry doesn’t make her cry, but with her strong personality, will his need for control over her ultimately challenge her feelings for him? Terry needs to dominate and control everything in his world. When Danny says, “Shall I put the towels back,” Terry doesn’t even look at him. He continues to look at Tess, takes her hand, establishing ownership, and says, “You can keep the towels…!” He throws down the gauntlet to let Danny know that he cannot keep Tess.
Where do you see conflict between each point of the triangle?
Danny and Tess are doing the ex-husband/ex-wife dance of who did who wrong, Danny and Terry become fast enemies over their mutual affection for Tess and Terry has a moment of doubt and concern when he sees that Tess still has feelings for Danny.
What drama is this scene built around?
Danny is planning a heist – a big one – at his ex-wife’s boyfriend’s casino.
· What profile items (right character, traits, secret, wound, future) showed up in these two character’s words and actions?
This scene exposes the wounds of each point of the triangle: Tess feels abandoned, Terry is jealous, and Danny feels that Tess has betrayed him. These wounds propel the characters into their future where their wounds are either healed or they are destroyed.
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Love the dialog, especially Tess. Dialog reveals three sharp sophisticates. Tess tells Danny she doesn’t want the world of theft and lies that he embodies. She wants Terry and his world of apparently legitimate success. The triangle is about worlds as well as loves. Danny knows something about Terry that makes him wrong for Tess. An interesting set-up.
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CM Week 2 Day 4: Triangle – OCEAN’S 11
What I learned rewriting my scene/character I have incorporated this double in my screenplay Military Family Blues. It is so much fun exploring the possibilities that are interesting and easily relatable to an audience. This application is powerful because of the stakes. I need to learn how to think about my stories so they have higher stakes. Because I write stories loosely from my life experiences, I have to fight being too closely tied to the actual events and people.
Tess and Danny, it sounds like they are still married. Danny still loves her and is scared for Tess being with Terry Benedict because he knows he is only letting her hang around with him to get back at Danny. Tess thinks Terry really cares for her.
What profile items (right character, traits, secret, wound, future) showed up in these two characters’ words and actions?
Danny is not easily intimidated, has a heart to do the right thing, and is willing to mastermind a colossal operation to show Tess that Terry is a Benedict Arnold. Danny knows Terry will dump Tess in a heartbeat if she does not completely be a slave to him. The problem is that Danny has to rebuild his reputation now that he is out of jail.
Tess has a smart-ass wit, has had a hard life, and enjoys the relief of not worrying about her own care security. She has experienced a lousy event being married to Danny. She thinks she will not have to deal with anything as bad as what she suffered through when Danny went to jail, leaving her strained.
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These characters are able with visual clues and dialogue, to leave the audience expecting more witty, clever comments and wondering If Tess will continue to respond to them. We see an impending conflict of who gets the girl, we understand from the setting that they can play in an affluent world and deal with basic struggles. This makes the audience interested in what would normally be common, another fight for the girl, leave us wanting to know how these 3 will carry it off.
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The triangle is interesting because Tess acts so could toward Danny that it’s obvious she’d holding back her feelings. Danny flat out tells Tess that he’s come for her. And Terry lets Danny know that he’s aware of everything that goes on in his casino and that he knows Danny was just released from prison, implying that he’s got his eye on Danny.
There’s lots of intrigue going on. Danny doesn’t say he’s still a thief, only that he doesn’t lie anymore. Tess in turn can’t say that Terry makes her laugh, just that he doesn’t make her cry. Lots of half-truths going on. Danny makes a point of twisting his wedding ring in front of Terry. And Terry stares daggers at Tess and Danny when they share an elongated look.
The conflict revolves around Danny wanting Tess back, Tess insisting that she’s with Terry now. And Terry just seems cold-hearted and totally sure of himself, though it seems he sees Danny as a threat.
Drama is built around a play for love.
All three are the right characters due to the seamless dance of who care more for whom and the overt character difference between charming Danny and cold Terry. Tess is in the middle, and her insistence that she’s with Terry now sounds rather hollow.
Danny is wounded by losing Tess’s love.
Tess was wounded by the loss of her reputation when Danny was sent to prison.
Danny’s secret, of course, is that he’s planning to rob the casino.
Tess’s secret is implied that she still loves Danny.
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The dialogue between Danny and Tess is powerful and reveals volumes through what is said and left unsaid. Tess felt abandoned and seems to almost have forced herself into another relationship that protects her from her fears. Danny is a sophisicated crook and admits not much has changed. Their words and emotions reveal enormous amounts of an caused by Danny’s going to jail. Terry seems to view Tess as a piece of property, as much as a love interest. His reaction to Danny is cold, threatening and calculated. On the surface, the love triangle is just that – Danny and Tess’ nervous laugh when they say he’s leaving – but what’s left unsaid leaves a sense that there’s much more at play.
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A scene from the pilot Central Booking focuses on the triangle Marty, his job and his wife Leslie.
INT. APARTMENT – NIGHT
SOUND of a late news re-run in the background. The large flat screen T.V illuminates a dark living room.
LESLIE JOHNSON, 28, sleeps on the couch. She’s Marty’s troubled wife, a California girl, and a former model who’s learning the hard way, what it means to be a cop’s wife.
The front door opens. Marty enters and spots Leslie. He crosses to the coffee table, grabs the remote, next to an empty wine bottle and glass, and shuts the T.V. off.
Leslie’s groggy eyes open.
LESLIE
I was watching that.
MARTY
No you weren’t.
LESLIE
What time is it?
MARTY
I don’t know, two something.
Leslie sits up.
LESLIE
Where were you?
No response. Marty walks into the bedroom.
Leslie watches him, her frustration building.
INT. BEDROOM – NIGHT
Leslie enters. A bathroom light illuminates the room. She stands there, waiting.
Marty exits, in boxers and they trade a tense look.
MARTY
We had a problem, okay? They brought a guy in with ties to the Russian mob. I was just making sure we had it covered.
Leslie watches Marty climb into bed. She paces over to her side, lies down and stares at the ceiling.
LESLIE
What time did your problem come in?
MARTY
What?
LESLIE
What time, Marty? What time did the problem come in?
MARTY
I dunno. Sometime around ten.
LESLIE
Ten. You said you’d be home by four. We were supposed to go out to dinner. I sat here, waiting for you all night.
Marty closes his eyes – this is the last thing he wants to do right now. His head pivots toward Leslie, with a forced look of contrition.
MARTY
The whole damn day just got away from me. I promise I’ll make it up to you.
Leslie considers. She rolls on top of Marty and straddles his hips. She looks into his bloodshot eyes-
LESLIE
Make it up to me now.
– leans in and kisses him with passion.
Marty kisses her, but his hands hover by her shoulders with uncertainty.
Leslie senses his apathy and sits up.
Marty responds with a blank stare.
Leslie whips off her tee shirt and drops it on the bed. Marty gazes at her – the dim light REVEALS her killer body.
LESLIE
I’m ovulating. Make it up to me now.
Marty tries to hide his panic.
MARTY
But the doctor said we should wait.
Leslie’s eyes fill with a mix of annoyance and lust.
LESLIE
That was eight weeks ago. The doctor said, wait four.
MARTY
Leslie c’mon, I just came off a fifteen hour shift. Do we gotta do this now?
Leslie turns angry.
LESLIE
So, now you’re too tired to even fuck your wife?
Marty’s eyes narrow.
Leslie rolls off him and pulls a sheet up over her chest. A long tense SILENCE.
LESLIE
How much did you lose tonight?
Marty tries to ignore her, his temper’s rising.
LESLIE
I’m not surprised, really. I can always tell when you lose. Your eyes give it away.
Leslie cracks a sardonic smile, as it hits her.
LESLIE
Jesus Christ, if I can tell, maybe that’s your fucking problem.
Marty steams. He jumps off the bed, grabs a pillow-
MARTY
I’ve got a six to two shift in four hours. We’ll talk about this tomorrow night.
– and exits the room.
Leslie lies there, angry and horny.
Deep in thought – she suddenly reaches over to her night table, opens the draw and pulls out a VIBRATOR. She stares at it – glances at the doorway – and a look that says “fuck it” crosses her face.
She tosses the sheet aside, rips off her shorts and reaches down-
INT. APARTMENT – NIGHT
Marty lies on the couch. His eyes closed – then open, as he hears the vibrator’s HUM from the bedroom. He lies there, a battle raging in his head, but he doesn’t move.
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What makes this love triangle interesting?
Danny’s fresh out of prison and desires to reconnect with his wife. Tess is trying to put her life back together after being totally upended by Danny 5 years earlier. Still holding resentment for all the problems he created for her, she hopes Terry will be the answer to ending all her problems. But, Danny makes her realize that Terry is far from the right person for her. When Terry arrives, it appears he’s been tracking Danny’s every move and will do everything in his power to ensure he succeeds at nothing. Danny, on the other hand, is not intimidated by Terry and has other plans brewing.
Where do you see secrets, intrigue, and emotional needs?
Danny wants his wife back and is concerned with her choice of Terry. Danny is planning something and it looks like he will continue his life of stealing. Tess realizes that not all her needs are being met with Terry, but she wonders if Danny’s just trying to steer her away from him for some ulterior motive. Tess has an emotional for stability and safety. Terry needs to be in control and will use his position to attain that. He also lets Danny see that Tess is his and he will never get her back.
Where do you see conflict between each point of the triangle?
Danny is disappointed that Tess never reached out to him in jail. Tess is angry that she got caught holding the bay for his antics and was so humiliated, she had to leave her home city. Danny and Terry are jocking for position over Tess. Both are perturbed with one another and we know a payback will be coming from both of them.
What drama is this scene built around?
Tess shouldn’t be there. Something big is planned. Terry has Danny under a tight leash as he doesn’t trust him.
· What profile items (right character, traits, secret, wound, future) showed up in these two character’s words and actions?
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