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Week 2 Day 4 – What did you learn?
Post the answer to the question, “What I learned rewriting my scene/character…?”
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4 Replies
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INSIGHT – Tess’ wound is further opened when Terry asks Danny, “you recently were released from prison, is that correct? (Danny answers) How does it feel to be out?” Danny replies, “about the same.”
This matter of fact statement that there was and still is something between him and her.
Breakthrough: subtext works on multiple levels in a triangle
What I learned is that the dialogue between two of them can illustrate the subtext about what’s going on with the third. (Tess still loves Danny)
After Tess cuts off Danny to say that he was just about to leave, Terry suggests Danny stay and have a drink, but Danny & Tess answer in unison “I/he can’t” which reveals the subtext of their strong bond & potential resumption of it. (Terry actually feels threatened by Danny now, as opposed to earlier when he acted superior.)
BRAINSTORM: differing agendas of my protagonist Darby & antagonist Hyatt, which sets up conflict?
How is the conflict set up between them?
What’s the drama surrounding a scene?
What boundaries do they violate & maybe have to reestablish?
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What I learned–great dialog transcends an ordinary setting. I learned I should never neglect dialog. It can always get better, sharper. I have a triangle and will review it with that in mind.
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CM Week 2 Day 4: Triangle – OCEAN’S 11
What I learned rewriting my scene/character I have incorporated this double in my screenplay Military Family Blues. It is so much fun exploring the possibilities that are interesting and easily relatable to an audience. This application is powerful because of the stakes. I need to learn how to think about my stories so they have higher stakes. Because I write stories loosely from my life experiences, I have to fight being too closely tied to the actual events and people.
Tess and Danny, it sounds like they are still married. Danny still loves her and is scared for Tess being with Terry Benedict because he knows he is only letting her hang around with him to get back at Danny. Tess thinks Terry really cares for her.
What profile items (right character, traits, secret, wound, future) showed up in these two characters’ words and actions?
Danny is not easily intimidated, has a heart to do the right thing, and is willing to mastermind a colossal operation to show Tess that Terry is a Benedict Arnold. Danny knows Terry will dump Tess in a heartbeat if she does not completely be a slave to him. The problem is that Danny has to rebuild his reputation now that he is out of jail.
Tess has a smart-ass wit, has had a hard life, and enjoys the relief of not worrying about her own care security. She has experienced a lousy event being married to Danny. She thinks she will not have to deal with anything as bad as what she suffered through when Danny went to jail, leaving her strained.
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What I learned from this scene is how complicated it can be to write a triangle into a script. It’s something that I’ve never done, and when I do get around to it, it’s going to have to be meticulous and seamless.
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