Screenwriting Mastery › Forums › Character Mastery › Character Mastery 4 › Week 2 › Week 2 Day 5: Attraction – A STAR IS BORN
-
Week 2 Day 5: Attraction – A STAR IS BORN
Posted by cheryl croasmun on May 18, 2022 at 6:32 pm1. Please watch this scene and provide your insights/breakthroughs into what makes this character great from a writing perspective.
2. Read the other writers comments and make notes of any insights/breakthroughs you like.
3. Rethink or create a scene for your script using your new insights and rewrite that scene/character.
Zev Ledman replied 2 years ago 8 Members · 7 Replies -
7 Replies
-
Where do you see attraction show up for Ally?
When Jack says “Can I tell you a secret” (What?)then he whispers “I think you might be a songwriter”. Then a moment later, “But don’t worry I won’t tell anybody. (pause) I’m not very good at keeping secrets”. – The subtext here is that he’s gonna share how wonderful she is with the world.
· Where do you see attraction show up for Jack?
When she stands up and sings the chorus. She really gets deep into it & he’s taken with her emotions.
· What is causing that attraction?
Their mutual love for music. And maybe, because she picks up on his needs being expressed in the music. He realizes he can trust her.
What drama is this scene built around?
She has his attention and she will need to reveal her talents to him by performing in an empty parking lot.
· What profile items (right character, traits, secret, wound, future) showed up in these two character’s words and actions?’
Jack’s wound: her lyrics that catch his attention are about him, trying to fill a void.
INSIGHT: she’s telling him something about himself that he needs to hear, using the tools he’s so used to for expressing feelings… and it becomes a moment of acknowledgement for him. I think this leads to his behavior of gratitude at the end of the scene.
-
Week 2 Day 5: Attraction – A STAR IS BORN
Where do you see attraction show up for Ally?
I think her attraction began before this scene or her lyrics wouldn’t be so on point about him. She becomes completely smitten when he recognizes himself in her lyrics and says, “I think you might be a songwriter, but I won’t tell anyone.”
Where do you see attraction show up for Jack?
Jack is touched that Ally sees him so accurately and is swept away by her talent.
What is causing that attraction?
They have a mutual passion for music and see the love and value music has in each other.
What drama is this scene built around?
Ally has made several attempts to make it as a singer/songwriter. She now has the opportunity to reveal the true level of her talent to Jack.
What profile items (right character, traits, secret, wound, future) showed up in these two character’s words and actions?
Jack struggles with his demons using drugs and
alcohol to blunt his fear of losing his success in the music industry. Ally recognizes
his pain and writes lyrics about him trying to “fill that void.” -
A man with a deep, unfulfilled need meets a woman full of human understanding via their uniquely shared language of music.
-
CM Week 2 Day 5: Attraction – A STAR IS BORN
What drama is this scene built around?
Ally is working her ass off, lost in the “shallow” end of life, longing for some kind of change. Jack is making it big, but for what? A lot of money? He needs someone that cares for him. He is longing for some kind of change as well. He has a hole in his heart that needs to be filled.
What profile items (right character, traits, secret, wound, future) showed up in these two character’s words and actions?
Ally– Wounded by shallow life, hard-working, never giving up, but with no end in sight, her shallow. Her natural talent lurks in her mind wanting to breakout, but she has little confidence or understanding of what she needs to do. She needs a mentor.
Jack – Kind-hearted and hard-working, but empty in life now, he has reached his goal in life to tour and rock audiences, but something is missing. He is not sure what it is until he meets Ally. Jack can’t help himself. He wants to mentor her, maybe not realizing at first that she could be so much more to him personally. The writer expertly pays out the growing relationship as it slowly breaks into something fantastic in front of a sold-out audience.
Where do you see attraction show up for Ally?
First, in the parking lot, then dragging her out on stage to sing with him. He listens to her and responds so encouragingly. No one in the music business has ever taken her seriously. She just keeps living in the shallow with little hope of knowing what to do next, much less making it to a place where she can sing her aching heart out. Jack is looking into her eyes deep and listening to her. Then on stage, they harmonize, so wholly breaking through the surface of what was keeping them in their individual shallows of their lives.
Where do you see attraction show up for Jack?
Jack is trapped in his shallow of making it all right, but now that he has reached his dream to tour, life has gone empty. He needs something but does not seem to know what it is until he stops at the bar. Then in the parking lot, he sees someone with the talent he can relate to. She is genuine. Ally is not the run-of-the-mill female groupie, dying to party with him. Ally is on a whole different level. She is a natural songwriter and man, can she belt out a song with all the passion needed for a singer an audience will love.
But most importantly, the song she wrote on the spot… she wrote it for him. They begin to relate so profoundly. She simply defines her life’s endless emptiness with the word shallow. The joy of them breaking out of their shallow places by finding each other hits them deeply. Their spontaneous harmony shatters their shallow parts of their lives, proving they can lift up each other. They are made for each other.
What is causing that attraction?
They both realize the other can fill the hole in each other’s hearts and hopefully never hit bottom again.
-
I see Ally’s attraction after she sings the first, quiet song, when she says, “That’s you.”
I see Jack’s attraction before Ally starts to sing that first song. It’s subtle, but it’s there.
The attraction stems from Ally’s talent and, I think, that they are two lonely people sitting in a parking lot in the middle of the night.
The drama is built around the start of a relationship between two lonely people. Jack might be famous, but he’s sitting in the parking lot with a stranger. If that’s not lonely, I don’t know what is.
Based just on this scene, they’re the right characters because they fill a void in each other’s lives, going from lonely to the start of a relationship.
Traits:
Jack: Lonely, sad, insightful
Ally: Lonely, talented, fearless
Their wounds stem from a mutual lonliness, and the future points to a relationship.
There’s more going on in this scene than just a mutual attractions. It could’ve been the start of a one night stand, but Jack is intrigued by Ally’s talent. Ally doesn’t behave like she’s starstruck. Jack is just a guy, alone in a parking lot. But still, she takes the opportunity to pitch a song to him. All these layers lead to an attraction and make for an intriguing scene.
-
What makes this character great from a writing perspective.
Ally is great from a writing perspective as we see her character arc from this scene. She can actually sing and write songs, so the credibility of her character is believable for an audience.
-
Where do you see attraction show up for Ally?
Anyone that writes a song about someone with such emotion already has feelings.
Where do you see attraction show up for Jack?
Jack realizes how deep and intuitive Ally is and sees an incredible undiscovered talent that he wants to see blossom.
What is causing that attraction?
Two sensitive and wounded, yet talented people find solace in each other.
What drama is this scene built around?
Ally lets Jack see and hear her undiscovered talent. Jack is blown away and wants to help her attain her dream.
<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>What profile items (right character, traits, secret, wound, future)<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”> showed up in these two <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>character’s words and actions?
Jack admires and appreciates talented singer/songwriters and encourages them. At the same time, he is becoming insecure about himself and goes to the bottle to deal with his demons. Ally’s life has been filled with the disappointment of lost dreams and deep struggles. Together, we see the possibility of them finding themselves by sharing love and leaning on each other in difficult times.
Log in to reply.