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Week 3 Day 1 “What I learned …”
What I learned …
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2 Replies
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I learned that the characters need to become really frightened (or any other emotion) for the audience to also feel it and the suspense. That’s because the feat is not accomplished yet and we fear it will be terrific then it happens.
In my RomCom, the couple comes together in love several times, but call it off because of the hatred between their uncles. So once that’s resolved — Ellie will go along with Jim and they won’t invite her uncle to the wedding — there’s a statewide deep freeze and power outage. They will have to have the wedding on her uncle’s off-grid ranch, which will bring the 2 uncles together and it could explode everything.
So the 1st sighting of Jaws happens about 3/4 through the script. I looked at my scene around that place, and sure enough the power outage has happened and Ellie then comes up with the idea to move the wedding venue to Uncle Layo’s off-grid ranch — to Jim’s utter shock and horror, since they have not even told Layo about the wedding, he wasn’t invited, and he doesn’t know Ellie won’t be going to help on his ranch after college, but going away with Jim, or that Jim’s uncle (Layo’s nemesis) has been invited to the wedding and Jim will be working for him — triple or quadruple shafting of Layo.
INT. ELLIE’S APARTMENT – NIGHT
[They’re shivering in the dark with cell phone lights and some candles…. And their wedding venue is cancelled until spring, which Jim finds unacceptable] …
ELLIE: I guess Uncle Layo is fine. Off-grid. Warm, lights. (little laugh) Maybe we should move over there. (beat) Yeh, maybe we can have the wedding there. In a real barn. You wanted the barn theme, Jim.
JIM: And I thought I was the joker. That’s a whopper, Ellie, but somehow I’m too frozen to laugh.
He fingers his mouth, as if trying to make a smile.
ELLIE: I’m serious. It’s the only way.
JIM: Ellie! It’s a total no-go. I’d even feel bad about moving in there. IF he’d have us after we’ve shafted him so badly. (beat) And I suppose we’d disinvite Uncle Fred. Assuming he’ll find some gas stations open to even come here.
ELLIE: (wincing) Maybe if the two could meet, they might patch up?
JIM: Are you sure we’re talking about Fred and Layo, the most obnoxious people on Planet Earth?
ELLIE (meek): Maybe they’d become less obnoxious?
JIM: You can’t teach old dogs new tricks. They’ll fight and destroy us to boot.
Ellie gets up and mills around in the semi-dark BUMPING into stuff. Jen, worried, looks in her direction.
JEN: Now I’m a dog person and I resent the way–
JIM: Ha-ha-ha, Jen. I’m not laughing. Besides your parents’ old dog can’t even lift his tail.
ELLIE: Jim!
JIM: Sorry, Jen. Guess I’m becoming a mean ole junkyard dog.
Ellie reappears in the candlelight with her purse and keys.
ELLIE: No, not that. Well, that too. Behave yourself. (beat) What I’m saying is, I’m going to Layo’s and give it a try. At least see if we can stay there.
JIM: He’ll buck you off hard.
. . . .
Then the next scene with Layo is explosive, and later a scene were Layo meets his nemesis Fred (Ellie has just told Layo that he’s coming) and it looks like they will explode the wedding.
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Week 3 Day 1: Suspense – Jaws
The momment the close up shot of the Great White Shark is
seen scouting the ocean depths, the suspense chills our souls.
The suspense builds when TWO CHILDREN are killed the TOWNS PEOPLE,
are forced to close the beach during peak season. The suspense builds
when a desperate GROUP sets out to hunt the shark down endangering
their lives even further. The suspense builds greater when the Brody,
the Quinn, and Specialist Hooper go out to hunt the shark and become
hunted themselves. The even greater suspense builds when the shark crashes
their boat, eats the Quinn, Specialist Hooper to avoid being eaten
hides at the ocean floor. (SUSPENSE-YOU ARE MY PRISONER!).The most
suspenseful scene in the movie is, when the Brody on a sinking boat,
with his last shot at canister in the shark’s mouth, bulls eye.
The shark explodes, slowly sinks to the bottom of the ocean, the Brody and
Specialist Hooper using a canister swim to shore. This was suspense that sent
chills down your spine throughout the entire movie, and the conflict between
the shark the hunters was fantastic. The Photography was excellent, the
Directer captured the essence of the story in every shot.
What I learned:
Wow, suspense in the write hands can glue you to the seat of the theatre,
making you prisoner to what’s on screen, and you’ll love every minute
of it.
THE PITCH: A great white shark turns beach resort into a buffet.
TITLE: “JAWS”
GENRE: Thriller
FADE IN:
EXT. BEACH RESORT – DAY
The GREAT WHITE SHARK, kills TWO CHILDREN at the beach of this Resort
Town as TOWNS PEOPLE scream watching the bloody mess from the beach.
SHERIFF BRODY
Every out of the water!
PERENTS gather their CHILDREN and run to safety, SHERIFF BRODY watches in horror.
INT. TOWN HALL – AFTERNOON
The Town’s People hold a meeting, where they are informed that the beach is
closed until the shark is killed.
TOWN LEADER
You all know, this is our busiest time
of the year, and our livelihood depends
on it.
The whole gathing begin shouting, standing.
THE GATHERING
We will capture and kill the beast!
The Gathing busrt out of the town hall, rush to the beach and climb
into boats in search, to kill the Great White Shark.
EXT. BEACH – DAY
Shiriff Brody tries to talk the gathing out of going out into the
ocean, but they won’t listen.
SPECIALIST HOOPER joins Sheriff Brody and introduces himself.
SPECIALIST HOOPER
Sheriff Brody, I’m Specialist Hooper
the shark specialist you sent for.
Those people are going to get hurt,
they have no idea what they are dealing
with.
SHERIFF BRODY
It’s hard to reason with an angree mob.
EXT. THE PIER – DAY
The Mob has returned with a large white shark and they are all celebrating,
as they begin to hang up the shark for pictures. The shark was playing possum
and begins snapping at the men, taking one man’s leg off.
The rest of the men dive off the pier into the water.
The shark continues to jump around snapping at anyone close enough to bite.
A man runs onto the pier with a big stick, and starts beating the shark on
the head, the shark bites the stick, he runs off.
The shark fall back into the water, the men climb out of the water, the shark
swims back out to sea.
INT. TOWN HALL – AFTERNOON
Another Town Meeting, only this time the Member’s aren’t so gung ho, they sit
silently.
QUINN, a local fisherman makes a horrible sound by scratching the chalkbord which
annoys everybody in the room.
QUINN
I’ll catch this great white shark, with a
minimal crew.
The entire room stairs at him in silence, Sheriff Brody hires him.
EXT. OUT ON THE OPEN SEA ON QUINN’S BOAT – DAY
The crew of Quinn, Sheriff Body, Specialist Hooper, on Quinn’s boat in the open sea
prepare to battle the shark when, interruped as the Great White Shark reveals himself
by crusing past the boat, just beneath the ocean, music DUNT TA!, DUNT TA!, DUNT TA!
Quinn prepares the harpoon, Sheriff Brody, Specialist Hooper jump into action driving
the boat, connecting the canister that should make the shark surface.
Everything is read when the shark makes the second pass, Quinn shoots the harpoon, a
direct hit, the shark circles causing the boat to spin in a circle, almost capsizing,
then, breaks free and heads out to sea as the crew watches.
SHERIFF BODY
We’re gonna need a bigger boat.
THE FINALLY:
EXT. OPEN SEA QUINN’S BOAT – MORNING
The Great White Shark charges the boat, takes a big bite out of it, Quinn tries to
fight the Shark off and gets eaten, the boat begins to quickly sink.
Specialist Hooper swims to the bottom of the ocean and hides in the vegetation.
Sheriff Brody is left alone on the sinking boat, the shark tries to eat him, but
he manages to place an oxygen tank in his mouth at the last minute.
The shark swims out to sea again to make a last charge, Sheriff Brody barely hanging
on grabs a rifle as the boat continues to sink.
The Great White Shark makes one last charge at Sheriff Brody with oxygen tank stuck
in it mouth.
Sheriff Brody takes aim, fires several shots at the tank, missing.
Right before the shark reaches him, he fires a direct hit, the shark explodes and
sinks to the bottom of the ocean.
Specialist Hooper surfaces and joins Sheriff Brody, they greet and use one of the
canister to swim back to shore…
THE END
FADE OUT
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