Week 3 Day 4 “What I learned…”

[Lynn Vincentnathan]

I LEARNED that visual/audio scenes can tell us a lot without any dialogue or VOs. I do need to see what I can do with this, even in a RomCom. But I did a little of it.

I needed to cover several weeks of time in my script after they’ve decided to marry showing the romance is on and/or getting deeper, which might be boring if done as 2-3 page scenes with dialogue. Not filling those time gaps would have forced me to do a lot of exposition. So I decided to do two series of shots, no dialogue. These ties up loose ends (payoffs), give some set-ups, and give flavor of the setting, Tejano subculture, and story. More importantly the 2nd series below also shows the weird fluctuating weather by the clothes they wear (setup for the big freeze and power outage):

SERIES OF SHOTS [after Halloween to Thanksgiving]:

A. INT. THE MARRIAGE BARN decorated for Dia de los Muertos. MARIACHI MUSIC. Murals of skeleton mariachis and dancers. Ofrenda tables with PHOTOS of persons, candles, flowers, fruits, pan dulce, and calaveras (colorful skulls). PEOPLE file past these as Ellie and Jim talk to Rudy MOS.

B. INT. THE MARRIAGE BARN, same setting. Ellie takes Jim to a table with a photo of a woman, then Jim takes Ellie to a table with a photo of a man. Their deceased parents.

C. EXT. CAMPUS WALKWAY. Jim and Ellie in short sleeves walk along so into each other that they fumble their books, making them look like clumsy clowns. Ursula walks by with a snicker.

D. INT. MARRIAGE BARN in Beach Theme. Luz and Javi marry, Ellie the bridesmaid, Gecko the best man, Jim in attendance. Ellie fails to catch the bouquet. It falls into a SMALL GIRL’S hands. Fake disappointment, bright smile for the girl.

D. INT. COLLEGE BALLROOM. Barn theme with a banner, “THE SADIE HAWKINS DANCE.” Jim and Ellie dressed in hick clothes, along with OTHER STUDENTS, dancing.

E. INT. THE LIBRARY. Ellie and Jim studying in adjacent carrels, Jim stands to make faces at her over the separator.

F. INT. THE LIBRARY. Ellie creeps up and tickles Jim’s neck. He grabs her without looking up from his laptop.

G. EXT. THE BEACH. In windbreakers and long pants they walk holding hands. Jim bends down to seemingly pick up a shell, but pulls from his pocket a shell box and presents it to Ellie, who opens it. Inside script “Will You Marry Me” and a butterfly engagement ring. He puts it on her and they kiss.

H. EXT./INT. PARKING LOT/CAR. They load the car with carry-ons then get in. Jim starts the car.

JIM: Houston, we have a problem. [a reference to problems they’ll have with Uncle Fred that may tear them apart.]

ELLIS: I know. Gallows humor.

The car heads out of the lot and down the road.

Then later (after difficulties making it all okay with Uncle Fred during Thanksgiving break) more shots to cover a shorter time gap:

SERIES OF SHOTS [after Thanksgiving break thru finals to Dec 6th]:

A. EXT. LIBRARY – DAY. Ellie and Jim in jackets head into the library with book bags.

B. INT. ELLIE’S APARTMENT – DAY. Ellie unpacks a lacy cotton wedding gown, veil nearby. We only get a glimpse. Jen helps.

C. EXT. CAFETERIA – DAY. Jim and Ellie in short sleeves enter the cafeteria, as Ursula leaves, giving them a sneer.

D. EXT. LIBRARY – NIGHT. Ellie and Jim, short sleeved, emerge from the library with piles of books.

E. INT. ELLIE’S APARTMENT – NIGHT. Ellie and Jen, short sleeves, at the table with their laptops writing papers.

F. INT. CLASSROOM – DAY. Jim in a pullover sweater takes an exam with OTHER STUDENTS, as the PROFESSOR stalks around.

G. INT. ANOTHER CLASSROOM – DAY. Ellie, long sleeves, sweater on back of chair, takes an exam with OTHER STUDENTS, as the ANOTHER PROFESSOR sits up front, eyeing the students.

H. INT. MARRIAGE BARN – DAY. Jim and Ellie, long sleeves and jackets, are with Rudy going over wedding preparations.

[The next couple of scenes entail the deep freeze and statewide power outage — disrupting their wedding plans.]

[Huey Williams]

Week 3 Day 4 – Visual Reveals – Breaking Bad

I always thought the egg comes before the chicken, but in the opening

scene, a dirty pair of trouser fly in the sky, go figure. Then they

are ran over by a motorhome being desperately driven by a MAN in his

underweare, also he’s wearing a gas mask. Joining him in the motorhome

are TWO OTHER dead MEN also in underweare and gas masks, and scatter all

about the floor of the motorehome is lots of drug paraphernalia. It’s

revealed immediately that something unscrupulous is going on, not to

mentsion losing control of and crashing the motorhome off the road.

WALTER WHITE jumps out of the motorhome and removes his mask, Police

sirens are heard in the distance. Walter partially closes himself, holds

is breath, runs back into the motorhome to grab his ID, video camera and

a gun off of one of the dead men. Then Walter films himself making a

confession to the Police another reveal, as the Police sirens close in…

What I Learned:

Reveals engage you immediately, but you half to disguise them until the right

time, best presented when they surprise you.

THE PITCH:

JOHN BIGSBY, retired a man of many talents, and experiences, wishes to return

to youth knowing the things life has taught him at his present age. (Be careful

what you wish for…)

GENRE: FANTICY

TITLE: “The Dream”

FADE IN:

INT. JOHN BIGSBY’S HOUSE – AFTERNOON

John Bigsby stands at the livingroom window watching the CHILDREN play in the

nieghborhood playground. The energy of the children makes him tired, he heads

for the bedroom for his daily constitutional.(a nap)

John lies down on his bed, momment later he falls asleep, he begins dreaming.

DISSOLVE

EXT. DOWNTOWN STREET – TIMELESS

Young John Bigsby stands on a busy downtown street not much older than nineteen

years of age, touching himself all over, aches, pains gone, wrinkles, hair loss

gone, a whole new spirit radiates within him head to toe.

YOUNG JOHN BIGSBY

Boy, I feel great! And I can see a mile

away, wow!

A help wanted sign, the sign reads “Labor position available, apply here” catches

Young John Bigsby’s attention and he answers the call, he hurries into the building.

EXT. BUSY CONSTRUCTION SITE – TIMELESS

Young John Bigsby, hard hat, gloves, tool belt, carrying scaffold supplies.

His Foreman TED watches him, noticing that he is a hard worker.

EXT,/INT. HOMELESS SHELTER – TIMELLESS

Homeless Young John Bigsby makes his way into the homeless shelter for a meal, a

shower and a bed.

During his week stay at the shelter he’s surrounded by SHADY CHARACTERS. ONE MAN

tries to take his tool belt, there’s a tussle.

Young John Bigsby kicks the man in the chest, he falls to the floor, the man gets

up and walks away.

Several days later the man returns with TWO OTHER MEN, Young John Bigsby assumes his

Martial Arts stance prepared for battle.

All three men decide not to fight and walk away.

EXT. BUSY CONSTRUCTION SITE – TIMELESS

Young John Bigsby hammers away as part of the framing crew, a promotion.

FOREMAN TED

John, you’re doing a great job.

Foreman Ted hands Young John his first paycheck.

YOUNG JOHN BIGSBY

Just doing my job, Sir.

Young John hurries back to work.

EXT./INT. BROKERAGE FIRM – TIMELESS

Young John Bigsby opens an account, deposits his check, and keeps enough

money to get a room.

INT. YOUNG JOHN BIGSBY ROOM – TIMELESS

A shabby little room, a cockroach or two, but it keeps the elements out, it’s

private and it has an internet connection.

The following week after work Young John Bigsby stops by a pawn shop, purchases

a used Iphone and the games a foot.

INT. UBER CAB DRIVER DRIVING THE CITY STREET – TIMELESS

Young John Bigsby sits in back of headed for the Malibu Horse Racetrack.

EXT. MALIBU HORSE RACETRACK – TIMELESS

Young John Bigsby exits the uber cab and hurries into the track and places a bet

just before the races starts.

Young John Bigsby in the stands jumping, cheering as his picks cross the finish

line first, second, third, just as he bet, and the cash starts trickle in.

EXT. BUSY CONSTRUCTION SITE – TIMELESS

The beeping sounds of a flatbed Truck backin up with a heavy load of building supplies

comes to a stop in unloading area.

Young John Bigsby sit on a forklift and begins unloading pallets of concrete, lumber,

roofing materials, etc.

Foreman Ted watches as Young John Bigsby places items in the appropriate place, without

supervision. Foreman gives John a thumbs up.

Young John salutes him.

SEVERAL of the OTHER WORKERS set out to betray Young John, they put a garden snake in

his locker out of jealousy.

Young John discovers the snake when he opens his locker, picks up the snake and walks

past the other workers with it in hand.

INT. UBER CAB – TIMELESS

Young John Bigsby sits in back the uber cab headed for the Malibu Race Track.

EXT. MALIBU HORSERACE TRACK – TIMELESS

Immediately after getting out of the cab Young John Bigsby is surroundrd by BIG MONEY PLAYERS

dressed to kill.

Young John Bigsby places five big money bets, then heads to the stands prepares for the race.

The BEAUTIFUL THERAEBEDE HORSES stand on two legs eager to race as the HANDLERS place them into

the barriers. Young John watches from the stands.

MONTAGE:

Five races take place.

All of Young John’s picks hit!

YOUNG JOHN BIGSBY

Like taking candy from a baby!

Young John Bigsby collects his six fiqure cashiers check, has SECURITY walk him to his waiting

Chauffer Uber Driver, he hops in and they drive away.

On the way home Young John treats his Chauffer to an expensive dinner at the best restaurant,

in town, then slips him a very large tip.

EXT. AN AFFLUENT NIEGHBORHOOD – TIMELESS

Young John meets up with a REALTOR who shows him his dream house, after the walk threw, then

reaching a price.

YOUNG JOHN BIGSBY

I’ll take it, do you take cash?

REALTOR

Of course. I’ll draw up bill of sale immediately!

Young John accompanies the Realtor to her office, signs the paperwork, hands her the check.

REALTOR

You can move in five days, it’s been a pleasure doing

business with you Mr. Bigsby.

YOUNG JOHN BIGSBY

I’ll need an Interior Decorator, who could you recommend?

The Realtor hands John a card with the Interior Decorator’s info and the shake hands

and he leaves.

EXT. BUSY CONSTRUCTION SITE – TIMELESS

Young John sits with the FRAMING CREW at lunch time.

Young John walks over to the Foreman’s trailer and enters.

INT. FOREMAN’S TRAILER – TIMELESS

Young John enters and goes in Foreman Ted’s office.

YOUNG JOHN BIGSBY

Sir, I will be leaving in five days, personal business

to attend to.

FOREMAN TED

Sorry to hear that, you’re doing such a good job,I hope

it’s not serious.

YOUNG JOHN BIGSBY

No, it’s not at all, something that I half to do.

FOREMAN TED

You are an asset to the company, if its money, I’ll be

glad to increase your pay.

YOUNG JOHN BIGSBY

That won’t be necessary, I’ll work five more days, that’s

my notice.

Young John extends his hand, they shake and he leaves the trailer and heads back to work.

EXT. MERCEDES DEALER – TIMELESS

Young John, dressed in formal attire, shaved, well trimmed hair cut, plenty of cash walks the

Mercedes lot looking but not finding his dream car. He enters the showroom.

INT. MERCEDES DEALER – TIMELESS

Young John wonders the showroom floor, stops in his tracks when he lands on the Mercedes Mansory

AMG E635, love at first sight, he hops into the drivers seat.

The SALESMAN approaches, Young John hops out of the car.

SALESMAN

Welcome to the Dealership, how may I help you?

YOUNG JOHN BIGSBY

Yes, I would like to drive the Mansory AMG E635, please.

SALESMAN

I’m sorry Sir, but this a very expensive car and I can’t

let you…

Young John stops the Salesman in the middle of his sentence, when he takes a large roll

of Thousand Dollar Bills from his pocket.

It captures the Salesman’s attention, his undivided attention.

SALESMAN

Just a minute Sir, I’ll get the keys!

After the test drive, paperwork, Young John pays cash, leaves showroom.

EXT. MERCEDES DEALER – TIMELESS

Young John leaves the Dealer, hops into his Mercedes AMG, and drives away.

EXT. COASTLINE OCEAN VIEW HIGHWAY – TIMELESS

As though racing the Great Nurburg Ring in Germany, Young John negotiates the winding

coastal road with grace, as he becomes one with the AMG E635…

EXT./ INT. YOUNG JOHN BIGSBY’S NEW DIGS – TIMELESS

Young John approaches his home, pulls into the garage, before going into the house, stops,

stairs at the AMG as if giving the car a big hug, then enters the house.

The decor of the house is young man cave, with all the toys, Young John logs on to his

computer to check the bond, forex, futures, Market, then takes a dip in the pool.

The phone rings, Young John exits the pool, answers the phone.

YOUNG JOHN BIGSBY

Hello!

No one answers just HEAVY BREATHING, then they hang up.

YOUNG JOHN BIGSBY

That’s strange, probably a wrong number.

Young John takes a shower, gets dressed and goes for a ride to explore the town in which he lives.

INT./EXT. DOWNTOWN CITY – TIMELESS

Young John rides all over town studying the Business district, the City Hall, the Merchants, etc.,

his final tour ends in the redlight district.

Young John recieves whistles and waves from a VERY BEAUTIFUL GROUP OF WOMEN standing on the corners

in short, tight attire as he drives by.

Red and blue lights flash on him just as he leaves the redlight district, a POLICE OFFICER

pulls him over and walks up to the car.

POLICE OFFICER

License, registration, and prof of Insurance, please?

Young John complies with the request, hands the Officer the information.

POLICE OFFICER

I pull you over, because your car has no plates, just a temporary,

there has been a lot of car thiefts in this area. Do your Parents

know you are out driving their car?

YOUNG JOHN BIGSBY

Yes, they know, my DAD lets me drive the car all the time.

The Officer hands Young John back his documents.

POLICE OFFICER

It would be wise for you to stay out of the redlight district, I’ll

be keeping an eye on you.

Young John is released and drives away.

Young John stops at a redlight and a car stops next to him with FOUR MEN inside, they stair at

him, the man in the front passenger seat make an unfriendly remark.

MAN IN CAR

Out showing off in Daddy’s car, are we? I bet you

just got your license yesterday, you little squirt.

Young John gives them the Mafia gangster gun hand icon and drives away. The men laugh at him.

Young John tries to live as secluded as possible, but his wealth, lifestyle, intellect, is making

the TOWNS PEOPLE very curious, how a young man his age can have so much, be so mature, and

where is his PARENTS. They aren’t the only ones taking notice, the MOB, his NEIGHBORS and EVERYONE

ELSE, and they all want a piece of the action.

INT./EXT. NEIGHBORHOOD MARKET -TIMELESS

Young John pulls into the supermarket, parks and enters and begins shopping, starting with vegetables,

then meats, poultry, spices, water, juices, snacks.

There’s a Beautiful Young girl following him from isle to isle and she gets closer and close until they

bump into one another, they smile and gaze into each other’s eyes.

YOUNG JOHN BIGSBY

Excuse me! Did I bump you or did you bump, I was busy

thinking about what I’m cooking for dinner.

JERRI NELSON

It’s my fault, I wasn’t watching where I was going, I’m

Jerri Nelson and you are?

YOUNG JOHN BIGSBY

John, John Bigsby, it’s a pleasure meeting you.

Jerri and John take each others hand and continue gazing into each other’s eyes.

JERRI NELSON

What are cooking for dinner?

YOUNG JOHN BIGSBY

One of my gourmet specials, roast lamb salad, something

lite.

JERRI NELSON

That sounds delicious, your lady will love that.

YOUNG JOHN BIGSBY

I don’t have a lady at the momment.

JERRI NELSON

I would love to be your lady, and have dinner with you,

ask me!

They both smile from ear to ear.

YOUNG JOHN BIGSBY

Jerri Nelson, will you have dinner with me?

JERRI NELSON

John, I would love to have dinner with you.

Jerri and John finish shopping, they leave the Market, he takes her home and agrees

to pick her up in an hour, he goes home, prepares the meal and gets dressed in formal

attire.

INT. YOUNG JOHN BIGSBY’S DIGS – TIMELESS

Jerri a picture of beauty, John a Prince face each other sipping a glass of expensive

win by candle light, soft music in the background, gazing into each other’s eyes.

JERRI NELSON

That was a wonderful meal, everything is so romantic.

You are an excellent cook, we must do this again.

YOUNG JOHN BIGSBY

Jerri, you are so beautiful, I would do anything to please

you, take you to the most beautiful places in the world.

JERRI NELSON

Dance with me.

John takes Jerri by the hand and they begin slow dancing, her head on his shoulder, it’s

the begining of many wonderful momments together…

The town is showing a deep interest in Young John and his Family, they roll out a red carpet

welcome.

MONTAGE:

Young John and his Parents invites to –

Dinner Engagements,

Fund Raisers,

Political Functions,

Church Socials,

In every gathering that Young John attended he nearly ran out of excuses why his parents weren’t

there with him. He decided to invite Jerri over and tell her what was really going on.

INT. YOUNG JOHN BIGSBY’S HOUSE – TIMELESS

Jerri and John are sitting together comfortablely.

YOUNG JOHN BIGSBY

I don’t know if you will understand this, but I’m

living a dream, I have no Parents, and I will be

leaving soon.

JERRI NELSON

Where will you go, can I go with you, I will where

ever it is.

YOUNG JOHN BIGSBY

You won’t be able to come with me, it’s a different

world.

There’s a forceful knock at the door.

Young John answers the door, nearly pushed to the floor as it opens it’s the MOB, the BOSS and

TWO of HIS BOYS and the Boss starts immediately barking out oders.

THE BOSS

John, that’s your name right, sit down next to your

girl, and don’t say a word until I tell you to speak.

Now, I heard about your horse race game, how you make

the big bets and win everytime. I want in on the action,

I’m I making myself clear? Now you can talk.

YOUNG JOHN BIGSBY

And if I won’t cut you in, then what?

THE BOSS

Then I’ll have my two boys, rough you up a bit until you

will.

A fight breakes out between John, Jerri, the Boss and the Two Men, when the dust settles

John, Jerri and the Two Men are dead, the Boss gets away…

INT. JOHN BIGSBY’S HOUSE – AFTERNOON

John Bigsby wake ups in a cold sweat, shaking. He gets up out of bed, and prepares himself

a hot cup of tea, sits at the kitchen table.

There is a knock at the door, John answers it, standing in the door is Jerri Nelson, same

age as John, gazing into each others eyes.

JOHN BIGSBY

Have we met?

JERRI NELSON

It seems that way, my name is Jerri, Jerri Nelson, I live

two houses down.

JOHN BIGSBY

Would you like to share a hot cup of tea with me, just brewed?

JERRI NELSON

I would love to.

JOHN BIGSBY

Then do come in.

They smile at one another, she enters John’s house and he closes the door, they begin chating

is heard as everything fades to black…

THE END

FADE OUT