WIM+AI – WIM Module 7 -Lesson 2: Elevating The Impact of Your Reveals

[Monica Arisman]

Subject: Monica’s Dramatic Reveals!

VISION: I am a very successful screenwriter who has had multiple movies made.

What I learned from doing this assignment is to elevate my reveals. I didn’t think the ones I wrote in Module 4 were strong enough.

List of all the reveals:

 In the beginning, we don’t know Emily is an alcoholic.

 What is the DEMAND?
The audience doesn’t know the struggles Emily has. She looks like just a normal woman having a normal life.

 What is being REVEALED?
Revealing that she is an alcoholic and she’s out of control.

 How is it presented DRAMATICALLY?
She receives a letter and trashes her apartment. Then starts drinking uncontrollably. – This violence is a rewrite of the reveal.

 Emily can access the Library in the After-Life even though she’s not dead.

 What is the DEMAND? Emily has a near-death experience and survives.

 What is being REVEALED? As the story goes on she just has to think about the Library and she is there.

 How is it presented DRAMATICALLY? When Donahue gives her a writing assignment but makes the theme too difficult for her to write she ends up in the After-Life with the souls of forgotten writers with her laptop.

 Donahue is the Guardian of the Library but in reality, he’s a demon.

 What is the DEMAND? God introduces Emily to Donahue as the Guardian of the Library.

 What is being REVEALED? Donahue is a demon and thinks he has fooled God for a long time.

 How is it presented DRAMATICALLY?
Emily thwarts Donahue at every turn until he finally snaps. – It is presented by Donahue trying to kill Emily’s puppy but Emily stops him revealing her increasing powers.

 The souls of forgotten writers have been trapped in the celestial books by Donahue.

 What is the DEMAND?
In the Library Emily opens a book and out pops Charles Dickens.

 What is being REVEALED?
It is revealed that Donahue trapped the souls of writers in books so they wouldn’t tell God about his diabolical nature.

 How is it presented DRAMATICALLY?
Emily starts opening as many books as she can releasing the souls of writers.

 Emily is a special soul who can wield the power of the Library.

 What is the DEMAND? Emily was chosen by God for a reason.

 What is being REVEALED? To reveal that the Library is alive.

 How is it presented DRAMATICALLY?
Emily learns she can enter the Library at any time and bring her laptop with her. – The rewrite shows that once Emily realizes this she experiments with tormenting Donahue.

 Emily can access magical powers in the After-Life.

 What is the DEMAND?
Plan to get rid of Donahue and free all the souls of forgotten writers.

 What is being REVEALED?
To reveal the magic of the Library and how to access it.

 How is it presented DRAMATICALLY?
The only way to get rid of a demon is to access dark magic.

• This reply was modified 8 months ago by  Monica Arisman.

[Edward Lusk]

ED'S Dramatic Reveals!

MY VISION is to be a bankable, reputable, and industry go-to writer who’s demonstrated how to entertain and hold an audience’s attention through unforgettable characters and stories that are as enjoyable to write as they are to watch.

What I learned from doing this assignment is I had reveals in the story that were not dramatic enough or downplayed. By using the techniques I was able to increase the impact of the reveal and add additional reveals to make the scene more interesting.
Scenes targeted for demand and reveal improvement:
Betrayal between Jesús and Howie.
Jasper is a stranded elf.
The overall increase in using hints and mystery behind magical events
The significance and meaning of the Keystone Chimney
Grampee Nick's secret role in the story
Grampee Evie's cover-up
The true purpose of the snowflake pendant
The true meaning behind Howie's parent's rejection.

[Sunil Pappu]

Sunil Pappu’s Dramatic Reveals!

My Vision: I’m a successful produced writer who specializes in female-led thrillers.

“What I learned from doing this assignment is… create a demand for my reveals and present them dramatically in the worst possible situation.
Improvements:

I went through all 55 reveals that I had created in earlier lessons and made the setups stronger and used interest techniques to dramatically reveal them throughout the script.

• This reply was modified 7 months, 3 weeks ago by  Sunil Pappu.

[Pat Fitzgerald]

Pat’;s Dramatic Reveals

My vision is to have fun completing this class with a contest-winning script that will establish me as a courageous and original writer.

What I learned from this lesson is the importance of setting up a strong demand for the reveal. And the reveal must be shown, not told, which is something that I’m still working on.

Partial list of my demands and reveals.

Demand: Maynard makes a move to push Tammi off a cliff, then stops himself when he realizes others are watching. He tries to get both Violet and Tammi to tell him the story of the photo in the lockets they always wear. Maynard has a photo of the same three high school girls that are in Tammi and Violet's lockets. Reveal: The three girls in the photo are Violet, Tammi and Maynar’s sister, who Violet and Tammi set up for murder. Maynard reveals that the third girl is his sister immediately before killing Tammi.

Demand: Violet indirectly lets it be known that Tammi would no5like living in Violet's retirement village, which prompts Tammi to move in. Reveal: Violet constantly controls Tammi using reverse psychology.

Demand: Tammi confesses to Violet that she had one true love in her life who, unfortunately, she had to frame for murdering her first husband to take the suspicion off of herself. Reveal: The man who Tammi framed lives in the retirement village under an assumed name and heavily disguised, as h3’s been avoiding arrest for several years.

Demand: Tammi falls into a panic after realizes her current husband is dead due to an accident which caused him to bleed all over her favorite rug. Reveal; Tammi’snot upset that her hubbie is dead, but that his blood has ruined her rug.

• This reply was modified 7 months, 3 weeks ago by  Pat Fitzgerald.

[James Hernandez]

James’ Dramatic Reveals!

My Vision: I am a great writer who is recognized by the industry as an exceptional collaborator able to elevate any project into production and have maximum success.

What I learned from doing this assignment is…that I did a decent job with the preliminary assignments as the demands for the reveals were setup properly and dramatically executed. There’s always room for improvement so I’ll have to assess how my story can be further developed to accommodate any new potential changes.

Reveals:
a) Joey is actually separated looking for a father for her five kids.
Demand: Joey is desperate for a father figure for her kids and finds Ethan who turns out to be the perfect suitor.
Revealed dramatically in an argument between Joey and Lupe who is the mother of the kids’ father.

b) Ethan has an apprehensive nature before entering relationships.
Demand: Ethan tests out the waters with various women to make sure he settles with the right one.
Revealed dramatically when Ethan goes on numerous dates with eccentric women.

c) Max is an internet troll on a smear campaign against Ethan.
Demand: Max feels betrayed by Lily due to Ethan entering her life.
Revealed dramatically as Max strategizes in his den on a quest to ruin Ethan.

d) Lily is a gifted artist.
Demand: Lily invites Ethan to her home to further their connection.
Revealed dramatically as Ethan and Lily showcase their immediate chemistry.

e) Lily is very competitive.
Demand: Lily wants to make sure Ethan is who he appears to be.
Revealed dramatically as Lily proposes a pottery making competition to see who completes a better creation.

f) Joey is a con woman.
Demand: Joey wants to ingratiate herself in Ethan’s life by cooking dinner and then seducing him.
Revealed dramatically as Joey sexually exposes herself to gain his affection.

g) Ethan was shuffled from one foster family to the next as a child; abandoned at birth.
Demand: Ethan wants to clear the air between him and Lily after his previous night’s transgression.

h) Lily has one of Ethan’s past letters.
Demand: Ethan and Lily attempt to rectify his previous night’s transgression.
Revealed dramatically as their pasts come out in a deep discussion.

i) Ethan has been anonymously funding scholarships for foster children.
Demand: Lily gives Ethan the key to her studio as he makes his own goodwill donation to foster children.
Revealed dramatically as Ethan and Lily bond deepening their relationship.

j) Lily’s guarded nature stems from a deep-seated fear of rejection that goes beyond her father’s abandonment.
Demand: Ethan seeks out Lily to apologize for breaking the trust they had in one another.
Revealed dramatically as both Ethan and Lily share similar childhood traumas.

• This reply was modified 7 months, 3 weeks ago by  James Hernandez.

[Margaret]

Margaret’s Dramatic Reveals

My Vision: To write profound faith-based scripts that are produced.

What I learned: I did not originally include a strong reaction to the reveals.

Reveals:
Cancer Diagnosis, Able to Graduate, Cancer Remission, Return of cancer, Proposal, Cancer Remission, Pnuemothorax, Return of Cancer, Healing.

I revealed all – Each had good setup and demand, but the presentation/reaction needed tweaking.

[Michael Collado]

Mike’s Dramatic Reveals!

My Vision is to write an original screenplay, make a couple of calls to pitch it, to start a bidding war.

This lesson taught me how to point to my reveals and dramatically reveal them.

I changed 5 of my reveals and how they were revealed.

• This reply was modified 7 months, 1 week ago by  Michael Collado.