WIM+AI – WIM Module 7 – Lesson 4: Increase Interest Level of Key Scenes!

[Monica Arisman]

Subject: Monica’s Elevated Interest

VISION: I am a very successful screenwriter who has had multiple movies made.

What I learned from doing this assignment is a process to go through a script and quickly add more interest techniques.

Scenes to elevate:

Opening

I’ve brainstormed Paul being an evil little shit. Added a scene where Paul is implementing his BETRAYAL to push Emily over the edge to gain access to her inheritance.

Protagonist Introduction

By adding an INTERNAL DILEMMA, there is an escalation of UNCERTAINTY – will Emily suffer a complete mental breakdown?

This adds an UNCOMFORTABLE MOMENT and a SUPERIOR POSITION for the audience because her brother is trying to gain access to her share of the inheritance.

Antagonist Introduction

God introduces Emily to Donahue. By adding a MAJOR TWIST we discover that Donahue is influencing Paul’s actions.

Set-ups/Reveals

Added in the set-up of Donahue manipulating Paul. And, Paul drugs Emily to think she’s visiting the After-Life. The reveal is she is visiting the After-Life and is being helped by the souls of forgotten writers.

Set up their parent's car accident and death. Reveal Paul was behind it all in the first place.

Most Dramatic Moments

Scene 8 – INT. HOSPITAL – DAY

• Character Changes Radically – Emily wakes up from her coma a different person because she has died and met God and returned to this life. This affects Paul because he was plotting to have her committed.

Scene 14 – INT. DINING ROOM – DAY

• Intrigue and Surprise – Paul wants to try and repair his relationship with Emily.

Scene 17 – INT. SITTING ROOM – DAY

• Superior Position – we know Paul is trying to push her over the edge and Emily struggles with alcohol. Will she drink? Or, can she summon the courage to not drink?

Scene 20 – EXT. ESTATE – DAY

• Intrigue and Betrayal – Paul has hired someone to torment Emily so he can place her in an institution because he needs her share of the inheritance for a shady business deal.

• Surprise – The ghosts of their parents are coming to save Emily and thwart Paul’s plans as they chase the tormenter through the woods.

Scene 36 – INT. PRISON CELL – NIGHT

• Introduced the real Guardian of the After-Life with an Uncomfortable Moment because the After-Life is supposed to be love and peace and happiness and this introduction is anything but.

THE BIG TWIST – (I thought of as I was doing this assignment – don’t know if it will work or not!) – Paul has been drugging Emily and using subliminal suggestions to think she’s visiting the After-Life as he tries to send her over the edge of sanity! All for her share of the inheritance that hasn’t been distributed yet. He’s the reason their parents are dead!

• This reply was modified 8 months ago by  Monica Arisman.

[Sunil Pappu]

Sunil Pappu Elevated Interest

My Vision: I’m a successful produced writer who specializes in female-led thrillers.

“What I learned from doing this assignment is… brainstorm ways to use more interest techniques in each key scene and rewrite the scenes into a more compelling story.

List of Interest techniques added to key scenes:

Structure:

Opening – Now has a more interesting setting, betrayal, internal dilemma, surprise, mislead/reveal, suspense, Uncertainty hope/fear, and cliffhanger.
Inciting Incident – Uncomfortable moment, internal dilemma, mystery, intrigue, Uncertainty Hope/Fear.
TP 1 – Uncomfortable moment, internal dilemma, mystery, intrigue, Uncertainty Hope/Fear.
Midpoint – more interesting setting, uncomfortable moment, superior position, betrayal, surprise, suspense, Uncertainty hope/fear, mystery, cliffhanger.
TP 3 – mystery, surprise, uncomfortable moment, major twist, character changes radically, internal dilemma, superior position, suspense, mislead/reveal, intrigue, Uncertainty hope/fear
Climax – superior position, surprise, uncertainty hope/fear, suspense, mystery, character changes radically, intrigue, uncomfortable moment

Lead Character Intros – added more interest techniques in each of the scenes

• This reply was modified 7 months, 3 weeks ago by  Sunil Pappu.

[James Hernandez]

James Elevated Interest

My Vision: I am a great writer who is recognized by the industry as an exceptional collaborator able to elevate any project into production and have maximum success.

What I learned from doing this assignment is…that the story is evolving as changes arise making it more cohesive with the necessary beats. The script is developing more depth through the characters in their journeys and relationships. The structure will improve as well by giving it more substance.

Scene 1 (Opening): – Added mystery to show the unexpected loves in the protagonist’s life. – Added a prediction made by the hero to show his dire situation.

Scene 5 (Inciting Incident): – Included a hook to make Joey more mysterious in the hero’s life. I’ll have Joey present more surprises in the scene to enliven it.

Scene 11 (Act 1 Turning Point): – The antagonist makes predictions on how he’s going to handle the hero going forward. – The antagonist gives the hero a dilemma forcing him to think carefully on how to proceed with the love interest. – Added more intrigue to the antagonist as his intentions are dubious, but menacing.

Scene 23 (Midpoint): – Make the situation a more uncomfortable moment for all three characters mainly for comedic effect. – Perhaps Joey’s character changes radically in terms of comedic conflict making everyone uncomfortable.

Scene 33 (Act 2 Turning Point): – Added a confrontation between Lily and Ethan due to a misinterpretation of realities. – Ethan and Lily can be put in a more interesting setting that would have their conflict out in public causing more humiliation.

Scene 38 (Climax): – Added hope/fear to show the uncertainty with Ethan’s plan. – A dilemma could be given to Joey showing her mental anguish. This scenario creates a future in the story for all the characters.

Scene 39 (Resolution): – Perhaps Ethan and Lily make predictions about their relationship’s hopeful future. – A hook is presented that takes us to the final scene’s finale.

• This reply was modified 7 months, 2 weeks ago by  James Hernandez.

[Edward Lusk]

ED'S Elevated Interest
MY VISION is to be a bankable, reputable, and industry go-to writer who’s demonstrated how to entertain and hold an audience’s attention through unforgettable characters and stories that are as enjoyable to write as they are to watch.

What I learned during this lesson was how to target major scenes for elevated interest by using the outline and structure. Then by brainstorming using the techniques, I was able to improve the scene's interest and emotions. For example I took the climax scene is Act 3 and brainstormed ways to elevate. I found by using these techniques:
Betrayal
Suspense
Uncertainty
Twist
External Dilemma
The scene's basic structure and essence remained the same but it became much more interesting both to write and for the conflict depicted. I'm excited to apply and use many more elevated interest techniques to improve other scenes.

[Michael Collado]

Mike’s Elevated Interest

My Vision is to write an original screenplay, make a couple of calls to pitch it, to start a bidding war.

This lesson taught me how to take a scene and add an element or two to elevate the interest and possibly point to a reveal.

In one scene, I took a sound from another scene, intensified it, and then hid its meaning not only in that scene but also in another scene later. The reveal was so good that one of the characters forgot what he went there to complain about.

• This reply was modified 7 months, 1 week ago by  Michael Collado.

[Margaret]

Margaret’s Elevated Interest

Vision: To write profound screenplays that are produced.

What I learned: Many of my scenes were filled with interest techniques, but there was room for more!

What I changed:

Scene 4 – added misinterpretation and subtext
Scene 42- added internal dilemma, cliffhanger
Scene 48- added cliffhanger
Scene 55- added Hope/Fear, Suspense
Scene 60- added an uncomfortable moment
Scene 62- added suspense
Scene 79- added suspense

[Kathryn Gould]

Kathryn’s Elevated Interest

I choose to be a highly creative and energized writer who makes big movies and loves her life working with the most creative people in the world.

What I learned: this helped me really take a good look at these key scenes and make sure they are totally riveting. Here’s the major things I did:

Sc 1 (opening)–

Misinterpretation – Heightened the tension when Kapoor assumes Japheth is there to help him and Japheth refuses

External dilemma – Made Kapoor’s two unappealing choices more clear – go the easy way and risk being seen and caught, go the hard way and maybe die or be seriously injured.

Internal dilemma –highlighted Japheth’s struggle a little more – is he there to help K or help himself and his sister? He only helps K because because K threatens to destroy the package.

Uncomfortable Moment – Made some action more awkward and embarrassing for Kapoor

Mislead/reveal – Did more in the appliance tubes to make it look like K is going to die or get caught-then reveal it’s Japheth

Sc 5 (break into 2) –

Superior position – people start pouring out of the clinic and it goes dark- audience sees before they notice

Twist – we hold off on the enhanced MSF and dogs showing up until they are already in the middle of the fight

More interesting setting – through old restaurant kitchen, showing some of the world

Surprise – reveal Japheth is having problems with his nanotech as he’s trying to escape, worse possible time

External dilemma – dog is clamped onto his foot and MSF Operative is approaching, how to quietly lose the dog – and then he notices its collar and realizes he needs it – barely gets away

Sc 9 (midpoint) –

This is a tough scene because even though it’s super important and there’s a big reveal, it’s a lot of talk.

Intrigue – I made her insist that he let her take a look at his tech – which gives her the opportunity to do something to him that will come back later – I’ll make it part of the end scene when his tech is screwing up – in the meantime it makes this scene more interesting because she is doing something the whole time and Japheth is kind of helplessly lying on the table, twitching and in pain.

Ending sequence –

Betrayal/reveal – I have the new stuff I put in the midpoint come back here – he gets his tech working again, and then she sends him a freeze code, so that’s what makes him have to turn it all off.