WIM+AI – WIM Module 8 – Lesson 2: Engaging Banter

[Margaret]

Margaret’s Attack/Counterattack Dialogue

My Vision: To write profound faith-based screenplays that are produced.

What I learned: Use of different opposing viewpoints to create Attack/Counterattack dialogue.

Scene using Attack/Counterattack Dialogue:

INT. MEDICAL CLINIC – DAY
Hooked up to an IV, Dawn at his side, Jacob fiddles with his phone.
DAWN
Anything interesting?
Jacob puts the phone down, smiles.
JACOB
Nah. You’re the most interesting thing here.
DAWN
Thing?
JACOB
No, I mean, not thing, I mean…
Dawn laughs at his discomfort.
DAWN
You’re squirming. Or is it the meds that are bothering you?
Jacob holds up the arm.
JACOB
This? Piece of cake. I’m practically a pastry chef at this point.
DAWN
Wow. Give the man an apron.
JACOB
(protesting)
I really have nothing to complain about. I mean, God has blessed me so much. Well, I’ll admit, I’m not looking forward to the next thing coming…
DAWN
Thing? Tell me you’re not talking about me.
Jacob fidgets uncomfortable, preparing himself for a hard conversation.
JACOB
Dawn, I, uhh…
DAWN
Spit it out.
JACOB
Well, we never really talked about this, but, I think maybe… I mean, I can’t tie you to a disabled boyfriend, so, well, maybe…
DAWN
Maybe what?
JACOB
I may die, you know…
DAWN
Seriously, Jacob? I’m here for you. I’m not going anywhere.
Jacob searches her face, shakes his head slowly “no.”
DAWN
Ever.
Jacob lets out the breath he was holding.
DAWN
Now, if you up and die on me, that’s another story.
JACOB
Whatever God wants. I’m ready either way.
DAWN
I know you are, which makes you the best kind of friend to have around.
JACOB
Friend?
DAWN
Boy. Friend. Thing.
JACOB
(chuckling)
Seriously, what if I go deaf?
Dawn laughs, mouths dramatically, without a sound.
DAWN
What do you mean deaf? You’re not deaf.
Jacob laughs, makes nonsensical movements with his hands mimicking sign language. Dawn grabs his hands, smiles into his eyes.

[Monica Arisman]

Subject: Monica Loves Attack/Counterattack Dialogue

VISION: I am a very successful screenwriter who has made multiple movies.

What I learned from doing this assignment is the different viewpoints a writer can use to make dialogue more engaging.

Scene 38 – INT. LIBRARY – DAY

Emily confronts Donahue and the dialogue contains most of the opposing viewpoints. Still needs some work.

INT. LIBRARY – DAY
Emily looks around. Her computer has been transported to the library. She stands outside the closet. Knocks. The closet door opens. Emily enters.

CHARLES
Emily. How did you bring your computer with you?

EMILY
I don’t know.

CHARLES
The library sees you as an extension of itself.

EMILY
What do you mean?

CHARLES
Emily. Have you not figured it out? The library is alive and has accepted you. This could be a way to get rid of Donahue.

EMILY
But why me? Why couldn’t one of you have been chosen?

CHARLES
I don’t know. Maybe because God chose you and you’ve proven how brave you are.

The door bangs open. Donahue enters. His appearance has changed. He is stooped and his ethereal body has dark spots where nothing is there.

DONAHUE
So this is where you all are.

CHARLES
You don’t look so well, Donahue.

DONAHUE
Really. I’ll be fine when I rid the library of this intruder. And, send you all back into your books.

EMILY
I don’t think so.

DONAHUE
You have no power here woman. God is busy somewhere else and won’t be able to rescue you.

Donahue advances on Emily. Emily lays her computer on the desk. But it floats. She turns towards Donahue and smiles.

EMILY
You are wrong guardian. So wrong.

Emily throws her arms straight up. The air shimmers. The souls of forgotten writers make a semi-circle around Emily. Donahue glares at them.

DONAHUE
I know you’ve released the other guardian. Where is he?

EMILY
Somewhere you’ll never find him.

• This reply was modified 6 months, 2 weeks ago by  Monica Arisman.

[Edward Lusk]

ED'S ATTACK/COUNTER-ATTACK

MY VISION is to be a bankable, reputable, and industry go-to writer who’s demonstrated how to entertain and hold an audience’s attention through unforgettable characters and stories that are as enjoyable to write as they are to watch.

What I learned doing this assignment is there are different levels of attack/counterattack dialogue that can be written depending on genre, scene circumstances, and character profiles.

INT. WINTERBERRY MANOR – HOWIE’S ROOM – DAY

Howie lounges on his bed, scrolling through his phone. The twinkling Christmas lights around his room cast a cozy glow.
He’s dressed in a fluffy robe nibbling on nougat from a box of Christmas candy. He flips the glossy pages of “WIFF & WONDER,” magazine.

In the ensuite bathroom, steamy water fills the tub.
His phone rings—it's a video call from his third-trimester pregnant sister, GRACE, early 30’s. Grace.
Howie answers, forcing a smile full of holiday delight.

INT. CHURCH BASEMENT – NIGHT
Grace gift wraps throughout the call.

SPLIT SCREEN – VIDEO CALL – HOWIE AND GRACE

GRACE
Oh my god, I should have called earlier. How are you? How is Trevor?
HOWIE
How is Trevor? I’m fine by the way, feeling liberated from a guy who spent more time in front of a mirror than actually living in the real world. Now, when are you getting up here to rescue me?
GRACE
As soon as Robert get’s home from London. We’ll take the train up. Promise.
HOWIE
As soon as Robert gets home from London, la de da da da.
GRACE
Be nice Howie or I’m saying goodbye.
HOWIE
Fine. So sensitive. How’s my future nephew?
GRACE
Licking the shit out of me. He’s a Christmas day baby, I know it. Okay. Now we’ve swiped left on Trevor. So who’s this hot Mason Grandma Evie tells me you are on the rebound with?
HOWIE
News flash, his name is not ‘Mason.’ He is a mason, of which I have so many doubts, and not my type, primarily because he’s not gay and secondarily he’s just —

Grace extends a long string of ribbon and then snips it.

GRACE
— a holiday fling?
HOWIE
He’s a weird straight dude here to fix the freak’n chimney, not sweep me off my feet.
GRACE
Oh I see becasue he works in the trades he’s not gay.
HOWIE
Don’t paint me with that brush sister. I know guys and this one’s in a whole other fringe.
GRACE
Maybe he’s genuinely trying to be helpful. There are people like that you know.
HOWIE
Not in the East Village there’s not.
GRACE
You helped me and you live in the East Village.

Grace watches him with a thoughtful expression, then takes a deep breath. A person drops another gift in her lap.

HOWIE
I don’t deserve your love.
GRACE
Howie. That’s a terrible thing to say. Please let go of what happened last Christmas. Mom and Dad are not the people you think they are. Let them love you, Howie. There’s more to their approval than you think.
The tub overflows. Water seeps towards the door jam.
HOWIE
Oh crap! I got to go. Call me back. Okay? Bye. Crap. Crap. Crap.

Howie high tails it into the bathroom sloshing through the flood floor and shuts off the water.
Grace tosses her phone aside as a high stack of to-be-wrapped boxes are laid down in front of her.

[Michael Collado]

Mike’s Engaging Banter

My Vision is to write an original screenplay, make a couple of calls to pitch it, to start a bidding war.

This lesson taught me how to take a scene and add banter to help follow a character’s profile. I hate to use the last scene, but it is a good one for this purpose. I think.

INT. DETECTIVE'S BULLPEN – DAY

Jocinda is at her evidence board for a serial burglar every precinct is trying to catch. She removes its contents and puts them in a box.

CAPTAIN JAMISON moves in behind her and watches for a moment.

CAPTAIN JAMISON
Ames, what were you thinking?
(a beat)
Unauthorized stakeout!
Unauthorized overtime!
You might be a good detective someday. Just not today!
You are on a ninety-day suspension.
Effective immediately!

Jocinda never turns around. She drops her head and drops more evidence board into the box. The last piece at the top of the board is an outline of a blank head with a robber's mask and a question mark.

She stops at her desk to place a few items into the box.

DETECTIVE BROWN
We could have had this guy if you would have just asked for help.

Jocinda keeps placing stuff into the box.

DETECTIVE WHITE enters the bullpen.

DETECTIVE WHITE
Wow, the Lone Wolf hero,
that's going to save the city.
Have a nice vacation.

Jocinda finishes packing her things and heads for the door.

DETECTIVE RYAN
Send us a postcard.

Jocinda stops at the door and turns back to the bullpen.
Everyone is waiting for some words of wisdom.

JOCINDA
Ya know. If it were a MAN that saved that woman in the alley. You would be getting an accommodation!

Jocinda spins on her heels and exits the room.

• This reply was modified 6 months, 2 weeks ago by  Michael Collado.