[Aaron Clow]

Aaron’s Level 3 Horror Emotion Scene

What I learned doing this assignment was… I don’t think this is actually the homework. I thought this scene would end up being the assignment, but I couldn’t figure out a way to fit all the elements in one scene and it didn’t end up where I thought it would. I will try this assignment again when I get to the scene AFTER this, which is after they put the extension cords together and get back outside with the monsters, and the cord gets cut, turning off the lights. I also learned I have no idea how to write non-dialog action in script form. Did the best I could, but I’m going to have to look up some film that’s not an auteur movie that has lots of description and not much dialog. Was thinking something like Furiosa, but I imagine that might only have a shooting script, but will check.

Overview of scene from outline leading to this scene:
The developer has sent a distress signal from the old mine, which was picked up at the police station. The police chief needs to track down the developer in the game preserve. He finds the environmentalist dead, shit is going sideways in the preserve. He finds the developer, is taking him in for murder of the environmentalist. They both confront the monster and battle it. The chief dies saving the developer, who then finds the chief’s daughter. They have to band together if they’re going to survive.

EXT – THE PRESERVE – NIGHT

The GATE opens. The Chief peers cautiously around it, rifle and flashlight drawn. It’s calm.

He leans his rifle up against the stone surround of the gate, closes and locks the gate, starts to walk down the narrowing path toward the darkness of the woods.

Sounds of someone’s running footsteps on the hard path. Frantic running. Tripping, falling, getting up and running again. Getting closer now. The Chief aims the rifle into the darkness, peering.

At the edge of the flashlight’s range, out of the darkness of the woods bolts JEFF – an athletic male, one of the campers – straight at the Chief. Eyes crazy.

CHIEF
Stop!

No hesitation from Jeff. Frustration on the Chief’s face – he doesn’t want to shoot.

CHIEF
JEFF! You STOP!

Still running – right into the Chief, knocking him over. Jeff scrambles to his feet, the Chief ready to repel the attack.

But Jeff runs for the gate.

JEFF
OPEN IT!!! OPEN THE GATE!!

He’s clawing at the gate, trying to crawl over it, frantic. He finds some footholds in the stone framework of the gate and starts climbing.

JEFF
(screaming while climbing)
OPEN IT!!!!

The Chief is stunned by what he’s watching, remembers his daughter is in there somewhere.

CHIEF
JEFF! Where is Sally??

Jeff is half screaming, half mumbling incoherently as he climbs.

CHIEF
JEFF!

Jeff drops out of sight over the wall with a THUMP. The Chief collects himself, enters the woodsy path, gun aimed. He turns on his flashlight. Another scream, somewhere far ahead of him. He turns the light off and listens.

Fifteen seconds of silence as the Chief looks around in the darkness, straining to hear something – anything. As his eyes adjust, he sees a reflection of dim red in some leaves at the top of a tree. He leaves the flashlight off and follows the path, trying to follow the source of the light, looking up at the canopy as he goes.

It’s still quiet. He moves on, stops when he hears/feels a low vibration. He squats down, feels the ground. It’s vibrating – a steady, low sound like a single low frequency. It stops. He gets up, moves on.

Ahead of the Chief, the white noise of a waterfall faintly emerges. He breaks from the forest into the pulsating, dim red glow of the radio tower beacon, which appears over a rock face with a waterfall. The water dumps into a pool, which leads to a stream, wandering off to the Chief’s left.

Floating face down in the stream is the environmentalist.

The Chief spots him, struggles to drag him out of the water. Pulls him onto the path, flips him over. He’s blue, eyes open, a look of agony on his face. 100% dead. The Chief gets up, moves with purpose now along the path toward the cave that leads to the mine. A dim light emerges from inside the cave.

CHIEF
COLE! Are you in there?

Nothing. He moves closer to the cave.

CHIEF
COLE!

Still nothing.

To the Chief’s left, a dim blob of grey light about five feet tall starts to shimmer. He shines the flashlight at it and it seems to dissolve and react to the light. As he shines it, another blob appears and shimmers behind him, the same size. He sees it out of the corner of his eye and whips the light around – the blob dissolves, and another forms where it did the first time.

The Chief starts backing toward the cave, shining the flashlight around in a circle, not giving the blobs enough time to materialize. The dim light from the cave entrance is a little closer now, and we hear a diesel generator running.

The Chief runs into the cave.

CHIEF
COLE!

The generator is here, near the entrance – it’s too loud. No wonder Cole couldn’t hear him. He’s going to have to go deeper.

The cave narrows, the Chief notices wires on the ground and follows them deeper into the mine, from the generator. He scans behind him for blobs. None. He goes on.

CHIEF
COLE!

Cole answers, from farther down the passageway.

COLE
Chief!

SALLY
DAD?

CHIEF
SALLY?

They meet in the dark passageway – Sally into her dad’s arms. Cole looks relieved.

CHIEF
Where are the others?

COLE
She’s the only one I found.

The Chief grabs his handcuffs off his belt, grabs Cole’s arm.

CHIEF
I found Miles. I’m taking you in, just until I get your story.

COLE
Chief. Really?

SALLY
Dad! No! Cole didn’t kill him.

CHIEF
How do you know?

SALLY
Because I killed him.

Stunned silence.

SALLY
I – I pushed him off the top of the waterfall. I thought he was attacking me.

CHIEF
Was he?

SALLY
I don’t think so? I’m not sure. I felt threatened, like he was going to kill me.

CHIEF
Let’s get out of here. You can tell me later.

COLE
We can’t go out there.

CHIEF
Why not?

COLE
We need to wait until daytime or find a way to bring more light with us.

CHIEF
Yeah, those things didn’t seem to like my flashlight.

COLE
And I don’t have another one. I found some extension cords, and we could get out with a light from the radio room if we have enough length. I think we’ll need to use some of this wire though.

Cole picks up the cords that lead from the generator to the radio room.

CHIEF
Shouldn’t be too difficult to rig something up if we can find some tools.

COLE
The radio room has tools.

CHIEF
Show me.

[Aaron Clow]

Aaron’s Level 2 Horror Emotion Scene

What I learned doing this assignment was… I feel like all these scenes need more to them. Maybe the point is to just get them on paper first. I’m relying on this “three horror” thing across several scenes. Maybe that’s wrong. This is kind of the first two, and then they go to the train station.

INT – HUNTER’S FRIEND’S HOSPITAL ROOM – DAY

The HUNTER leans forward in a chair by the window, looking for any sign of movement from his FRIEND, who is in a coma, lying on a hospital bed.

HUNTER
He was screaming before I even saw it.

DEVELOPER
What did it look like?

He’s being re-traumatized, digging this up –

HUNTER
I- I couldn’t really tell. It seemed to – change.

ASSISTANT
Change?

HUNTER
Like, it was this fuzzy seven foot tall person, like old too. Like a big old person.

ASSISTANT
Fuzzy?

HUNTER
Yeah. Like it was out of focus.

ASSISTANT
Like a movie? Or

HUNTER
It didn’t have any defined lines. I thought at first I was hallucinating, but then I realized we were both seeing it.

The three slowly look at the FRIEND.

ASSISTANT
Do you know – exactly – where in the park it was?

DEVELOPER
What gate did you come in?

HUNTER
We came in by Station Gate. We knew were were in trouble almost as soon as we went through.

DEVELOPER
Did you make it to the station?

HUNTER
That’s just it. It wasn’t there.

ASSISTANT
What do you mean it wasn’t there?

Talk of the station jars the HUNTER’s memory – he pats the front of his pants, feels a jab, fishes inside his pocket – it’s a KEYRING. He holds it out to the DEVELOPER.

HUNTER
Oh, I found these on the way in –

The developer leans in, takes the keys. Puzzled.

DEVELOPER
These are the train station keys. How did you get them?

HUNTER
They were off the road in a bare patch of sand, where we thought the train station was. We thought maybe you removed it.

DEVELOPER
(sharply)
No we didn’t remove it. Why would we remove it?

HUNTER
(cowed)
I don’t know. I guess we thought maybe it didn’t fit in with your plans. Anyway, I didn’t give the keys much thought until now, just figured someone might have lost them so I picked them up.

ASSISTANT
Where the station was?

HUNTER
Yeah.
(pause)
And then we heard a scream. Some kind of … ungodly scream. Far off, we thought to the north. Just one scream. We stopped to listen, but everything was quiet. That’s when we decided to just leave.

ASSISTANT
You didn’t think someone might need help?

HUNTER
I don’t know. I think by that point we were just thinking maybe we should just get back to the truck. I sort of convinced myself I hadn’t heard what I heard. But really, we were just freaked out. Neither one of us wanted to go any deeper into the park.

DEVELOPER
Wait – the Chief said he picked you up at the South Gate. Why didn’t you just go back to the Central Gate?

HUNTER
We did. We did go back to Central.

The developer and assistant look at each other – this guy is messed up.

DEVELOPER
Well. I don’t know how you got turned around so badly.

Getting on with it.

DEVELOPER
You said it changed?

HUNTER
It’s almost like it was trying to decide… what it wanted to be.
(pause)
And that’s when I shot it.

The assistant has heard enough – he gets up.

ASSISTANT
Well, we’re headed to the park right now. We’ll see if the train station is there. Thank you for the keys.

Why is he leaving now? We don’t have the whole story.

DEVELOPER
Wha –

ASSISTANT
I need to talk to you in the hallway please.

INT – HOSPITAL HALLWAY – DAY

Just outside the door, the assistant pulls the developer to his side and whispers quietly.

ASSISTANT
If we’re going, we need to go now. I think it’s probably a good idea for us to look into this in the daylight.

DEVELOPER
The train station?

ASSISTANT
Or… not the train station.

[Aaron Clow]

Aaron’s Level 1 Horror Emotion Scene

What I learned doing this assignment was… I think I likely need to shorten this very early scene and punch it up, but it’s written now and hopefully sets a little bit of mystery and dread in motion. It’s a good way to write a scene I think, but I am probably toning it down too much. Anyway, still trying to move forward.

INT – ASSISTANT’S SHED – DAY

Dry, weathered HANDS collect climbing rope and carabiners off a shelf and place them into a daypack.

The hands belong to the DEVELOPER’S ASSISTANT, in his small shed, a single bare LIGHT BULB barely illuminating, and picks up a GPS device. He gives it a quick look, gently tosses it aside. That’s not it.

Found them – maps. He unfolds them half way, looks at them for a moment – exactly what he needed. In the pack they go with a few other things – a headlamp, flashlight, whistle.

Behind him, a dark FIGURE fills in the light in the doorway. The assistant notices the difference is different, whips around –

ASSISTANT
Wha?

FIGURE
Hey.

Recognition –

ASSISTANT
Oh. It’s you. Thanks for coming.
I’m just getting some shit together.
Let’s go inside.

FIGURE
Sure.

The assistant takes one last look around, grabs the daypack, CLICKS off the light, closes the door, a padlock CLINKS.

INT – ASSISTANT’S HOUSE – DAY

The figure is MILES SINCLAIR, the local environmentalist. Mid-60’s, sun-aged craggy face and full pure white beard. He sits at the table, unprompted, like an old friend would. The assistant is making coffee. Miles speaks in a heavy New England accent.

MILES
So. Why so jumpy?

ASSISTANT
We’re going in.

He’s serious.

MILES
You can’t. Not after what happened. I still don't know.

ASSISTANT
Not my call.

MILES
What do you mean “not your call?”

ASSISTANT
Just what I said. Not my call.
(pause)
Don’t worry, he doesn’t even know you’re here.

MILES
I figured that already.

ASSISTANT
I need to know what is it?

A pause, how many beans to spill here?

MILES
Don’t know.

ASSISTANT
You have to know something?

MILES
Well, let’s start with what you know.

ASSISTANT
Assume nothing.

MILES
Fine. I started looking into the park a few months ago. It’s an energy zone. You’ve heard of Nazca lines?

ASSISTANT
Yeah?

MILES
The boundary of the park isn’t the fence.

ASSISTANT
(defensively)
We’ve been trying to fix it. After that boar got out last month and killed Mrs. Goodmeyer’s Pomeranian, the town wanted a lot more information about who was maintaining it.

MILES
It’s not the fence, it’s what came before the fence.

ASSISTANT
I’m not following.

MILES
The park boundary pre-dates the fence by several centuries.

ASSISTANT
What was there before the fence?

MILES
I don’t know yet. I found some odd stones up the road a bit from the north pass gate and they led to the fence.

ASSISTANT
You think the boundary doesn’t exactly follow the fence?

MILES
It’s possible. The whole state is riddled with fault lines, but they’re not active. Not for millions of years.

ASSISTANT
Could the lines be shifting?

MILES
Again, possible. We’re nowhere near a plate boundary, but as things go, we’re not really that far away from this whole area being covered by glaciers. The earth could be, well, ‘rebounding,’ shifting the boundary lines.

The assistant is deep in thought.

MILES
Or, it could be a new plate boundary off the coast. We could be in that in-between stage.

ASSISTANT
On one side or the other of a million years?

MILES
Lucky us, right?

ASSISTANT
You still haven’t told me what we’re dealing with here.

MILES
Well, there can be tremendous energy released any time shifts like this happen. It’s not outside the realm of possibility that they can affect the mind. It could cause hallucinations?

ASSISTANT
You’ve been there. Have you been hallucinating?

MILES
No. But I saw the hunters that night. Something scared them, and it wasn’t a boar. Or a bear.

ASSISTANT
(bangs the table)
What the hell, Miles? You waited ten minutes to tell me this?

MILES
I didn’t think it was important.

ASSISTANT
You didn’t think it was important that I know you were in the preserve and that you saw someone get shot?

MILES
I didn’t see him get shot.

The assistant stares, perplexed at the delay – well?

MILES
I heard the shot and was nearby, so I went to see what was going on. I thought maybe they shot an animal.

ASSISTANT
There was no animal.

MILES
No. There weren't no animal.

ASSISTANT
So?

MILES
So, I saw the one hunter carrying the other over his shoulder. They were close to the gate, so I stayed out of sight.

ASSISTANT
Jesus, Miles. If (the developer) knew you were there, we’d both be in a world of shit.

MILES
I know. But I need to find out what’s going on. I think the blasting is possibly forcing a quicker change in the boundary.

ASSISTANT
What does that mean?

MILES
You might need to stop blasting.

ASSISTANT
(laughs)
Right.

MILES
No, I’m serious. Just until I figure out whether or not the boundary is moving. If the boundary moves, that means the energy moves with it.

ASSISTANT
He’s never going to agree to a halt in development.

MILES
You’ll just have to convince him.

ASSISTANT
Convince him? You haven’t convinced me!

MILES
I didn’t know I needed to make a case with you.

ASSISTANT
Yeah, well you do.

MILES
Give me another couple days and I will bring you something. Just another couple of days.

ASSISTANT
I can’t. As a matter of fact, I’m late. I gotta go.

The assistant grabs the empty cups of coffee, goes over to the sink, rinses them, leaves them in the sink. Miles, still seated, pleads:

MILES
West access gate.

ASSISTANT
West access gate what?

MILES
Use the west access gate. About two hundred feet north on the outside of the fence you will see the stones.

ASSISTANT
And what’s that going to do?

MILES
It’s the ancient boundary line. Maybe you’ll see something I didn’t. If I can recommend something, you should both leave before dark.

ASSISTANT
Why. Is that when the monsters come out?

MILES
Yes.

ASSISTANT
(can’t contain his surprise, involuntary)
Ha!

MILES
I have noticed an energy change at night. Maybe it’s something like when the sun charges the ionosphere, it pushes the energy fields down. At night, this energy rises and bounces.

What is this crazy yarn he’s spinning?

ASSISTANT
Right. (sigh.) OK, no nighttime. Thanks. Hey, lock up when you leave?

MILES
Sure. Be careful.

The assistant closes the front door behind him as he leaves.

[Aaron Clow]

Aaron’s Horror Outline Version 1

What I learned doing this assignment was… to keep moving. This isn’t completely “readable,” but I think the main points are here now and I’m convinced I have enough story to fill out 90 minutes. Still a number of scenes to more fully flesh out, but I think this will be a solid set of “bones” to build that on. It’s encouraging.

ACT 1

EXT – THE WALL – NIGHT
A police cruiser careens down a dirt road in the dark woods to the atmospheric, imposing gate to the game preserve. Just outside the gate are two hunters, one of them covered in blood. A hunter has accidentally shot his friend while shooting at a strange monster inside the preserve, he’s in shock, thinks he might not have seen what he saw, but can’t be sure. He could be making it up, but he seems terrified.

The police chief calmly assesses the situation, empathizes with hunters, applies first aid, makes a decision to bring them to the hospital with the cruiser because it would take too long to get an ambulance. The cruiser speeds away as the environmentalist walks out of the preserve, with binoculars around his neck and a notepad in his hand.

INT – LOCAL BAR – NIGHT
The developer and his assistant banter over dinner at the local bar. It’s late. They’re discussing the work project, not personal stuff. Neither has a family – the office is their only family. We connect with both characters here in a scene to be written.

INT – POLICE STATION – NIGHT
At the police station, the Chief has just dropped off the hunter and his friend at the hospital and enters the police station. His daughter is sitting, listening to the radio scanner, heard about a “monster,” almost out of earshot. She’s concerned, confronts her dad when he gets in. He waves her off. It was nothing. He lies and tells her the hunter was drinking. She’s not sure she believes him. He tells her to go home, everything’s fine. Why was she here?

EXT – LOCAL BAR – NIGHT
The developer and his assistant are walking to their cars when the developer gets a call – someone’s been shot in the preserve.

EXT/INT – CHIEF DAUGHTER’S GIRLFRIEND’S HOUSE – NIGHT
The daughter goes to her girlfriend’s house instead. Light conversation, then the girlfriend realizes something’s wrong. Doesn’t press. “If I tell you something,…” “Are you fucking kidding me? We have to go check it out.” The daughter says no, instantly regrets telling the girlfriend. Girlfriend says they should get their friends together and go. Daughter convinces her to stay and watch TV. They snuggle, but we can tell the girlfriend is not going to let this rest.

INT – CHIEF’S OFFICE – NIGHT
The developer and assistant are at the police station to talk to the chief, who they know, and the chief’s dialog infers that he had history with these two, and that they had been warned. Turns out the Chief actually asked the developer to post the land. How did people get in? Sounded like a boar that attacked.

The developer challenges the chief – maybe he’s been slack and someone is messing with them, setting them up so that they can’t develop this land. Maybe someone in town. Chief claims the only person out to stop him is one he already knows about (the environmentalist).

They get the name of the hunter from the police chief. It turns out the developer’s assistant knows the hunter, doesn’t know him to be irrational. He’s 20 years sober. “Before 10am, it’s X, After 4pm? It’s drunk,” but not in this case.

INT – HUNTER’S FRIEND’S HOUSE – DAY
The developer and his assistant visit the man who shot his friend and interrogate him. Again, he seems shaken, talking about a monster but the two don’t necessarily believe him. But then – he found something the developer wants investigated – a set of keys – the developer recognizes them as the set to the train station, but one is missing. Diagrams for the developer and assistant where they were. The assistant is spooked. Starting to believe him about the monster, believes they should gather supernatural assistance. Meets with a friend, passes along more info to the developer about the potential. The developer is all “yeah, all right, I’ll file that.”

INT – DEVELOPER’S OFFICE – DAY
They’re looking over the diagrams, trying to match up where things might have been in the preserve. It doesn’t make sense. The radio tower is in a different quadrant, as is the train station. They call the chief, but he won’t help them or investigate anything in the preserve. It’s private property, and unless they know someone from town is in trouble, he’s not going in. There’s nothing to investigate. Whatever it was the hunter saw, it’s being treated as an accident. The friend has massive swelling of the brain and is in a medically induced coma – probably a month at most. The Chief says the developer can halt for a month if he’s worried, and then they’ll get answers.

The two make a plan to go into the preserve, part ways to gather gear.

INT – DEVELOPER’S HOME – DAY
The developer is home, gets his mail, checks his landline voicemail – all spam. Next to the answering machine is a picture of a younger developer with his wife and daughter, who we haven’t seen. There is a black border all around the picture. He stares at the picture for a moment, grabs the keys off the answering machine table.

EXT – DEVELOPER’S HOME – DAY
The developer opens his shed with the keys and starts gathering supplies.

EXT – ASSISTANT’S SHED – DAY
We see hands gather supplies – it’s now the developer’s assistant. Someone’s behind him, scares him accidentally. Why so jumpy? “I need some info on the preserve.” “So that’s why you asked me here?” It’s the environmentalist. “I don’t have much time.”

EXT – CHIEF’S DAUGHTER’S GIRLFRIEND’S HOUSE – DAY
Pickup trucks, camping gear – the friends sans daughter all head to the preserve to hide out in the preserve on a dare. The chief’s daughter argues and stays. She is the only one who knows the campers have gone. She’s freaking out, but has promised not to get them in trouble. No one suspects a monster, they suspect “drunk.”

INT – DEVELOPER’S ASSISTANT’S HOME – DAY
Developer’s assistant asks the environmentalist what he knows about the park? Bison, boar, let’s go into the history here, including the fence of the park, which was built on the ruins of a much older barrier.

EXT – THE GATE – DUSK
The group of friends finds a way into the preserve.

EXT – INTERIOR PRESERVE – NIGHT
Not long inside, they are disoriented. The road disappears, and the gates are confusing. Panic. Want to go home. Gate isn’t where it should be. The campers are trapped. “The gate is supposed to be here,” but the gate has changed or won’t open. The campers are the first ones we see coming face-to-face with the monster. The girlfriend’s brain is “touched” by the monster and she screams, possessed, attacks her friends and kills one, realizes briefly what she has done, runs.

EXT – DEVELOPER’S OFFICE – NIGHT
With the police chief refusing to act, the developer and his assistant head to a cabin already on the land near the insecure entrance gate and be his own security until he can get the gate fixed. (weak excuse – need to find something better)

EXT – THE GATE – NIGHT
The developer and developer’s assistant follow the fence from the gate, looking for a remnant of the fence. The developer doesn’t know that his assistant has more knowledge of what’s going on, is irritated by the side journey.

There’s a scream. They find the kids at the train station, they beg for help, but he thinks they are playing a prank, accuses them of sabotage – “did someone’s parents put you up to it?” The developer and his friend are going to take everyone back to the police station. They scream that one is dead and the other is missing.

INT – POLICE STATION – NIGHT
The police chief’s daughter is telling his dad about the campers.

EXT – THE PRESERVE – NIGHT
The developer and friend and campers all witness the true horror of the monster – I don’t know what this is yet. I think the wall and gate have contained the monster and kept it from town. I have to figure out some kind of supernatural, maybe energy field that actually keeps the monster inside – the lines of the fence were determined LATER, after some ancient previous civilization had marked them. That’s why the monsters are kept inside, not because of the fence itself.

ACT 2

EXT – THE PRESERVE – NIGHT
The campers have scattered. Presumed mostly dead. Two are with the developer and his friend. The friends don’t want to leave the train station, but it’s time to go.

The developer finds out his assistant met with the environmentalist. He’s furious. Even if the monsters are real, the environmentalist is probably controlling them. How could the assistant be so stupid? Whatever is happening here has to be possible as a trap from the environmentalist OR as a monster.

The developer’s assistant gets separated from the developer. Goes missing. They’re all going to go find him. The developer watches his assistant (and friend) fall, pushed off the cliff by some unseen force. The real estate developer suspects the environmentalist might really have killed him – he’s still in denial. Could it have been the girlfriend who went mad? They escape. Still missing is the girlfriend and the assistant is dead.

EXT – THE GATE – NIGHT
Here we go again. Chief to the rescue. What the hell is going on. Pure chaos.

“You’ve gotta investigate now, don’t you?” Everyone is basically arrested until the police chief can figure out what’s going on.

INT – POLICE STATION LOCKUP – NIGHT
The police chief has heard from the kids that the developer had nothing to do with the deaths, so he lets the developer go.

INT – HOSPITAL – NIGHT
Developer goes to hospital to get some clue, any clue – goes to the hunter’s friend’s room. Hunter is there. He knows. “You saw it.” “Yeah, I saw it.” Something he says proves a key point to getting the monsters under control. Thinks the environmentalist knows.

MIDPOINT

INT – POLICE STATION – NIGHT
The police chief knows he has a problem. Whether it’s a monster or something else, we are having major conversations about the integrity of the preserve wall and keeping people out. He doesn’t think the developer is responsible, but there’s an issue that leads to the realization that the environmentalist keeps opening the wall – he might control the monster. But he doesn’t realize what the monsters are or how to stop them once they act. Will have to find a way to reference this earlier in the story.

EXT – ENVIRONMENTALIST’S HOME – NIGHT
The developer visits the environmentalist, ends up getting arrested after threatening him, because the environmentalist has been here for years, swears he never saw a monster. But claims the developer has unbalanced something. They fight. The preserve has unseen forces, should be left alone.

INT – POLICE STATION LOCKUP – NIGHT
The developer is arrested for threatening the environmentalist (for his own safety – or so he thinks – actually, the environmentalist knows already), and he knows what’s going on by now, but he has to convince the chief to let him go so he can deal with the monsters. The chief is still in denial.

INT – POLICE LOCKUP – NIGHT
The developer calls his high-powered lawyer who normally does real estate, but who knows the police can’t keep the developer locked up.

INT – DEVELOPER’S HOUSE – DAWN
Developer comes up with a plan, then gets wind that the environmentalist was seen at the preserve.

EXT – THE GATE – DAWN
Developer is at the preserve. The gate is open.

EXT – THE PRESERVE – MORNING
The environmentalist sabotages something in the preserve, because thinks getting rid of the people in the preserve (even if it means accidentally or intentionally luring them into the monster’s grasp), it will restore the balance, but something goes wrong. He thinks the monsters are not active during the day. They are. He miscalculates, dies.

EXT – THE PRESERVE – DAY
Now, monsters threaten to break out of the zone – he’s made it worse. They’re getting outside the barrier now, where they had always stayed within the barrier before. The developer sees he’s lost control, finds the environmentalist.

ACT 3

EXT – THE PRESERVE – DAY
The developer has to come up with a plan to fix the damage he has done, but there is no fixing it. The damage is permanent. He must now deal with the monsters. Worse, he is now lost inside the preserve. He finds a mica mine, wanders in, is stuck there.

EXT – THE PRESERVE – NIGHT
The developer finds a way to power an old radio to call in that’s wired from the radio tower. Needs help.

EXT – POLICE STATION – NIGHT
Whatever’s going on, the chief is done with whatever this is. He’s calling backup. Somehow, the daughter gets in the preserve as well.

The police chief needs to track down the developer in the game preserve. He finds the environmentalist dead, shit is going sideways in the preserve. He finds the developer, is taking him in for murder of the environmentalist. They both confront the monster and battle it. The chief dies saving the developer, who then finds the chief’s daughter. They have to band together if they’re going to survive.

EXT – THE PRESERVE – NIGHT
The protagonist and chief’s daughter figure out how to neutralize the monsters. He tells the daughter the environmentalist unleashed all this and they need to stop it – it’s half true, but he will have to live with this guilt. Developer “atones” and saves the chief’s daughter and promises to seal up the place for good. No one else will die here. Ever. “I’m sealing it up.”

EXT – THE GATE – DAY
Monument to the fallen, noting geological instability in the preserve, no access.

EPILOGUE

INT – THE LOCAL BAR – NIGHT
The daughter, ten years older now, walks into the bar and sees the developer. I still am working on this ending. It's possible the police chief doesn't die, and the developer is just checking up on her, or maybe she's introducing her family to him.

[Aaron Clow]

Aaron’s Character Journey Track

What I learned doing this assignment was… This was the most consequential assignment so far and the one that helped fill out my outline the most (and took the longest to complete). It also seemed to tie a lot of pieces together. It’s still a mess, but I can see the bones of my outline coming together now. I see the next lesson is make it readable, so I will do some more work on it in the next lesson. For now, I think this step is done and I need to post it.

Characters

The Developer

Character Profile

Role: Lead survivor

Traits: hotheaded, curious, impulsive, derisive

Fears: not getting what he wants, not figuring something out

Wants/Needs: recognition, authority, answers

Likability / Rooting factors: bravery, curiosity, is a good friend

How they react under stress: brave when he’s scared

Relationship with other characters: He feels like he is the glue, but he is the solvent

Character Journey

Character Intro: He’s drinking with his assistant at the local bar after work, picks up the bill before they walk out

Denial: There can’t be anything wrong with the preserve, people are overreacting

Their reaction at first horror: Witnesses a teenager get taken by some weird force of nature and freezes – he isn’t seeing what he’s seeing. He tries to intervene, but it’s way too late

Relation to group after first horror: Tries to collect info from people to excuse what he saw – he dismisses anything that doesn’t fit into the narrative

How they fight back: When logic fails, he gives in to the supernatural using logic

End Point: He believes he’s the only one to piece all the supernatural threads together to seal up the park – he promises the Chief’s son to leave it to the creatures there – a plaque notes natural faults make the area dangerous, tribute to those who lost their lives in the park

What insight does death/survival bring to others/audience: Don’t mess with things you don’t understand

The Developer’s Assistant

Character Profile

Role: the moral compass

Traits: sharp and dry humor, knows some about local legends

Fears: he’s old, doesn’t fear much

Wants/Needs: wants to still be necessary and effective

Likability / Rooting factors: his joy is infectious, his wisdom delivered with heart

How they react under stress: quickly, and decisively

Relationship with other characters: voice of reason

Character Journey

Character Intro: he’s having a drink with the developer

Denial: same as the developer

Their reaction at first horror: springs into action, tries to urge everyone else to act

Relation to group after first horror: thinks they cannot defeat whatever it is they saw, need to find resources to fight

How they fight back: calls in favors with well-meaning friends

End Point: falls off a cliff inside the preserve

What insight does death/survival bring to others/audience: elders have wisdom acquired through life experience – listen to them

The Police Chief

Character Profile

Role: the authority and muscle,

Traits: experienced, more Fish & Game officer than police

Fears: the paranoia of his town’s citizens

Wants/Needs: order, logic, reason

Likability / Rooting factors: naturally sharp, steady

How they react under stress: calm, assured, seen it all

Relationship with other characters: antagonist at first, then trying to avoid self-panic

Character Journey

Character Intro: He’s at the gate, helping, like he always does

Denial: He doesn’t for a second believe there’s a monster

Their reaction at first horror: something’s wrong, but there has to be an explanation

Relation to group after first horror: skeptic realist

How they fight back: calm, rational, until it’s clear the monster is not rational

End Point: dies saving his son and the developer

What insight does death/survival bring to others/audience: Sometimes brawn can temporarily seem like a fix, but in this case, it’s not lasting or fully effective – he’s a step along the way to discovering what the monster is

The Police Chief’s Son

Character Profile

Role: information relay

Traits: straightforward, immature

Fears: his father’s disappointment

Wants/Needs: approval from everyone – his father, his girlfriend

Likability / Rooting factors: we hope he’ll get his life together and stand up

How they react under stress: he wants to act, but folds

Relationship with other characters: the voice of reason, but not authority

Character Journey

Character Intro: Watching TV, bored, with his girlfriend – she mentions she’s bored, this town is boring. He says actually…

Denial: He knows it was a hunter’s accident and thinks it was a boar or something

Their reaction at first horror: he doesn’t witness it directly –

Relation to group after first horror: Chief (dad) persuader

How they fight back: joins with the developer and Chief

End Point: Only he and the Chief’s son survive – leading to the developer promising to close up the preserve

What insight does death/survival bring to others/audience: we all have tragedies in our lives and have to live with pain

Hunter who shot his friend

Character Profile

Role: Quirky partner to friend

Traits: neurotic, smart, clumsy

Fears: no primal fear, but hates to see people in pain

Wants/Needs: to appear competent, responsible

Likability / Rooting factors: underdog vibe

How they react under stress: sheer panic

Relationship with other characters:

Character Journey

Character Intro: panicking at the gate

Denial: thinks he must have been hallucinating

Their reaction at first horror: denial – couldn’t have seen what I saw

Relation to group after first horror: he thinks he’s going crazy, has to be

How they fight back: will diagram for the developer & assistant where they were

End Point: his apartment where he gives the developer a key insight

What insight does death/survival bring to others/audience: closes the circle – he was the only one who unwittingly had the key to resolving the monsters

The Chief’s Son’s Girlfriend (& Campers)

Character Profile(s)

Role: monster fodder

Traits: impulsive, daring, immature

Fears: not much

Wants/Needs: excitement and adventure

Likability / Rooting factors: they’re stupid, not mean

How they react under stress: total freakout

Relationship with other characters: only really knows the Chief’s son, the Chief knows the families of the kids

Character Journey

Character Intro: Watching TV, bored, with the Chief’s son, talking about no excitement in this little town – actually, she’s wrong. Somethings up at the preserve.

Denial: None – she’s the first to be “touched” by the monster and fully knows its capabilities because it grabbed her brain

Their reaction at first horror: Run

Relation to group after first horror: hysterics – she felt the monster, it’s coming for her now, it can mess up her brain

How they fight back: no idea how – just keep running

End Point: She’s taken by the monster

What insight does death/survival bring to others/audience: how the monster attacks first – in your head

The Environmentalist

Character Profile

Role: Physical world antagonist to developer, historian of local lore

Traits: stoner outdoorsy type

Fears: technological progress and change

Wants/Needs: things to stay as they are

Likability / Rooting factors: he believes in his cause and its justice

How they react under stress: chilled

Relationship with other characters: unshaken

Character Journey

Character Intro: He’s in a blind, taking notes from a tree in the preserve

Denial: He’s been here for years, never saw a monster – this can’t be real

Their reaction at first horror: Anger – the developer has unbalanced something

Relation to group after first horror: Antagonistic – no one should be here

How they fight back: He thinks by getting rid of the people in the preserve (even if it means accidentally luring them into the monster’s grasp), it will restore the balance

End Point: He miscalculates, dies in front of the developer, the chief blames the developer

What insight does death/survival bring to others/audience: balance is important – if logic didn’t work against the monsters, pure “magic” or environmental elements didn’t either

REVISED OUTLINE

ACT 1 — SET UP FOR HORROR

Atmosphere of Evil established: A police cruiser careens down a dirt road in the dark woods to the atmospheric, imposing gate to the game preserve. Just outside the gate are two hunters, one of them covered in blood.

Injured, wounded, or debilitated: A hunter has accidentally shot his friend while shooting at a strange monster inside the preserve, he’s in shock, thinks he might not have seen what he saw, but can’t be sure. He could be making it up, but he seems terrified.

The Police Chief Character Intro: Police chief calmly assesses the situation, empathizes with hunters, applies first aid, makes a decision to bring them to the hospital with the cruiser because it would take too long to get an ambulance.

The environmentalist intro: walks out of the preserve, with binoculars on and a notepad.

Connect with the characters: Protagonist and assistant banter at work, it’s late and they’re eating at the bar. Neither has a family – the office is their only family. We connect with both characters here in a scene to be written.

The Police Chief’s Daughter’s Intro: Back at the police station, the Chief has just dropped off the hunter and his friend at the hospital and enters the police station. His daughter is sitting, listening to the radio scanner, heard about a “monster,” almost out of earshot. She’s concerned, confronts her dad when he gets in. He waves her off. It was nothing. He lies and tells her the hunter was drinking. She’s not sure she believes him. He tells her to go home, everything’s fine. Why was she here?

Characters are warned not to do it: The Chief goes to call the developer and his assistant. They’re walking to their car and get a call – someone’s been shot in the preserve.

Police Chief’s Daughter’s girlfriend intro: The daughter goes to her girlfriend’s house instead. Light conversation, then the girlfriend realizes something’s wrong. Doesn’t press. “If I tell you something,…” “Are you fucking kidding me? We have to go check it out.” The daughter says no, instantly regrets telling the girlfriend. Girlfriend says they should get their friends together and go.

The developer and assistant are at the police station to talk to the chief, who they know, and the chief’s dialog infers that he had history with these two, and that they had been warned. Turns out the Chief actually asked the developer to post the land. How did people get in? Sounded like a boar that attacked.

Denial of Horror: The developer challenges the chief – maybe he’s been slack and someone is messing with them, setting them up so that they can’t develop this land. Maybe someone in town. Chief claims the only person out to stop him is one he already knows about (the environmentalist).

Denial of Horror: They get the name of the hunter from the police chief. It turns out the developer’s assistant knows the hunter, doesn’t know him to be irrational. He’s 20 years sober. “Before 10am, it’s X, After 4pm? It’s drunk,” but not in this case. The developer and his assistant visit the man who shot his friend and interrogate him.

Character re-introduction of Hunter who shot his friend: Again, he seems shaken, talking about a monster but the two don’t necessarily believe him. But then – he found something the developer wants investigated – a set of keys – the developer recognizes them as the set to the train station, but one is missing. Diagrams for the developer and assistant where they were. The assistant is spooked. Starting to believe him about the monster, believes they should gather supernatural assistance. Meets with a friend, passes along more info to the developer about the potential. The developer is all “yeah, all right, I’ll file that.”

Character refuses to take action: The developer & assistant take the diagrams to the chief, but he won’t investigate anything in the preserve. It’s private property, and unless they know someone from town is in trouble, he’s not going in. There’s nothing to investigate. Whatever it was the hunter saw, it’s being treated as an accident. The friend has massive swelling of the brain and is in a medically induced coma – probably a month at most. The Chief says the developer can halt for a month if he’s worried, and then they’ll get answers.

Doing something forbidden: The friends sans daughter all hide out in the preserve on a dare. The chief’s daughter argues and stays. She is the only one who knows the campers have gone. She’s worried.

Environment changing: The game preserve is disorienting, the road disappears, and the gates are confusing.

Monster approaching: The campers are trapped by the gate.

No escape or route cut off: “The gate is supposed to be here,” but the gate has changed or won’t open

Face to Face with the monster: The campers are the first ones we see coming face-to-face with the monster. The girlfriend’s brain is “touched” by the monster and she turns on her friends, then runs.

Safety taken away: With the police chief refusing to act, the developer decides to stay in a cabin already on the land near the insecure entrance gate and be his own security until he can get the gate fixed. He doesn’t know the campers are there.

Monster: The real estate developer stumbles across the kids at the train station, they beg for help, but he thinks they are playing a prank, accuses them of sabotage – “did someone’s parents put you up to it?” The developer and his friend are going to take everyone back to the police station.

Meanwhile, the police chief’s daughter is telling his dad about the campers. The developer and friend and campers all witness the true horror of the monster – I don’t know what this is yet. I think the wall and gate have contained the monster and kept it from town. I have to figure out some kind of supernatural, maybe energy field that actually keeps the monster inside – the lines of the fence were determined LATER, after some ancient previous civilization had marked them. That’s why the monsters are kept inside, not because of the fence itself.

ACT 2 – THE POINT OF NO RETURN

Isolated / Trapped / Abducted: The campers have scattered. Several are presumed dead. Two are with the developer and his friend. The friends don’t want to leave the train station, but it’s time to go. The developer and assistant talk about:

Walking into a trap: The assistant and the developer might be walking into the environmentalist’s trap. It’s not really a monster, right? Whatever is happening here has to be possible as a trap from the environmentalist OR as a monster.

Friends in danger: The developer’s assistant gets separated from the developer. Goes missing. They’re all going to go find him.

See another killed: the developer watches his assistant (and friend) fall, pushed off the cliff by some unseen force. The real estate developer suspects the environmentalist might really have killed him – he’s still in denial. Could it have been the girlfriend who went mad? They escape. Still missing is the girlfriend and the assistant is dead.

Developer goes to hospital to get some clue, any clue – goes to the hunter’s friend’s room. Hunter is there. He knows. “You saw it.” “Yeah, I saw it.” Something he says proves a key point to getting the monsters under control. Thinks the environmentalist knows.

MIDPOINT – The monster is worse than we thought!

Terrorized: The police chief knows he has a problem. Whether it’s a monster or something else, we are having major conversations about the integrity of the preserve wall and keeping people out. He doesn’t think the developer is responsible, but there’s an issue that leads to the realization that the environmentalist keeps opening the wall – he might control the monster. But he doesn’t realize what the monsters are or how to stop them once they act. Will have to find a way to reference this earlier in the story.

The developer visits the environmentalist, ends up getting arrested after threatening him, because the environmentalist,…

Environmentalist denial: He’s been here for years, swears he never saw a monster. But claims the developer has unbalanced something. They fight. The preserve has unseen forces, should be left alone.

Full pursuit by the killer: The developer is arrested for threatening the environmentalist (for his own safety – or so he thinks – actually, the environmentalist knows already), and he knows what’s going on by now, but he has to convince the chief to let him go so he can deal with the monsters. He comes up with a plan, then gets wind that the environmentalist was seen at the preserve. He goes to the preserve.

The environmentalist sabotages something in the preserve, because thinks getting rid of the people in the preserve (even if it means accidentally or intentionally luring them into the monster’s grasp), it will restore the balance, but something goes wrong. He miscalculates, dies.

Now, monsters threaten to break out of the zone – he’s made it worse. They’re getting outside the barrier now, where they had always stayed within the barrier before. The developer sees he’s lost control, finds the environmentalist.

ACT 3 — FULL OUT HORROR

Fight to the death: The developer has to come up with a plan to fix the damage he has done, but there is no fixing it. The damage is permanent. He must now deal with the monsters. Worse, he is now lost inside the preserve. Going to think of some neat set pieces here inside the gates.

Character re-introduction, police chief’s daughter begs her dad to go in – her girlfriend and friends are in the preserve. She follows him.

Forced into a dangerous environment: The police chief needs to track down the developer in the game preserve. He finds the environmentalist dead, shit is going sideways in the preserve. He finds the developer, is taking him in for murder of the environmentalist. They both confront the monster and battle it. The chief dies saving the developer, who then finds the chief’s daughter. They have to band together if they’re going to survive.

The thrilling escape from death: The protagonist and chief’s daughter figure out how to neutralize the monsters. Developer “atones” and saves the chief’s daughter and promises to seal up the place for good. No one else will die here. Ever. “I’m sealing it up.”

Resolution: Monument to the fallen, noting geological instability in the preserve, no access.

• This reply was modified 9 months, 1 week ago by  Aaron Clow. Reason: formatting

[Aaron Clow]

Aaron’s Monster Reveal Track

What I learned doing this assignment is…This was the most difficult assignment so far, mostly because my monster is still somewhat vague. My initial run had a bigfoot in this monster role, but I think the changelings fit more in with old folklore. I’m not putting this in my outline just yet as I want to spend one more day with it. I just want to post it in case I end up moving past it. I don’t want to get stuck, and this is the point in the process where I’d normally get stuck and give up and not finish the course. So this is me trying to keep moving on my story. That’s what I learned. It’s better to progress your story and idea using the guidelines than to adhere to the homework 100%.

Who is the monster and what is their terror? The monster is a “Taker,” a half supernatural, half-physical creature who can take over a person’s mind temporarily. It is humanoid, acts on instinct to protect.

Powers: Can appear to manipulate matter in limited ways to confuse people at first, but this is actually not altering reality, but controlling a mind – it focuses mostly on nature changes because that is what it knows. It can create a field where there was forest, put old growth forest where there was a field. It can create limited illusions of manmade things that it could see within the zone of the preserve, such as a railroad depot that was nearby centuries ago but that is not there now. Our characters start to realize that the past is the key to the present – that if they study what was around the area for the past 600 years, they will understand more about how the creature works and what it has seen that it uses to confuse its prey.

Limitations: If you stop being able to concentrate, or stop fighting and recite a mantra of almost any kind and can hold it, you can combat the creature’s mind-altering effects.

Weaknesses: People’s minds are aware when they are being taken, so they have memory of the monster and of what it saw.

Plan/Purpose/Appetite: To make people terrified to enter the preserve, and if they don’t get the message, they will be killed

• This reply was modified 9 months, 1 week ago by  Aaron Clow.
• This reply was modified 9 months, 1 week ago by  Aaron Clow. Reason: formatting
• This reply was modified 9 months, 1 week ago by  Aaron Clow.

[Aaron Clow]

Aaron’s Character Death Track

What I learned doing this assignment is… This is going to take developing more characters. I hadn’t intended on making the Campers important, but if the first death is supposed to be shocking, they’re going to have to be more fleshed out than they typical group of kids in a movie that get killed first. I hope to do some more work on this soon, but this process is helping my outline come together.

Organize (character list):

The Developer
The Developer’s Assistant
The Police Chief
The Hunter who shot his friend
The Campers
The Environmentalist

Character Death 1: The Hunter
Why: He was “innocent,” but is now actively trying to attack the monster
How: The monster drowns him in a pool of water. He is later found downstream, outside the preserve.

Character Death 2: The Campers
Why: Their callousness and inconsideration of the forces of nature
How: Several are trampled by a herd of ghost bison, the last one is gored by a wild boar

Character Death 3: The Developer’s Assistant
Why: Shock value, the developer will be on his own to figure everything out
How: Falls off a cliff – we aren’t sure if the monster or the environmentalist is responsible

Character Death 4: The Environmentalist
Why: As a warning – the monster is not messing around and NO one is safe, not even its caretakers
How: The monster kills him

Character Death 5: The Police Chief
Why: Raise the stakes for the developer – no turning back now
How: The developer accidentally lures him into the monster’s trap

Character Death 6: The Developer
Why: Closure – the preserve will remain intact from developers
How: The monster takes its last victim

[Aaron Clow]

Aaron’s Horror Situation Track

What I learned doing this assignment is…? Something bigger than the actual assignment actually. I started this yesterday and was very frustrated that nothing seemed to fit my story very well. Tonight when I started going through it again, I saw all the places where things could fit into my story. I am still having a major issue with Act III, but I hope future lessons will help me with that. If not, I’ll have to go back and do these exercises again, and maybe brainstorm something that fits the tone of the story.

ACT 1 — SET UP FOR HORROR

Atmosphere of Evil established: Opening scene is at the atmospheric, imposing gate to the game preserve.

Injured, wounded, or debilitated: A hunter accidentally shot his friend, shooting at a strange monster inside the preserve. He could be making it up, but he seems terrified.

Connect with the characters: Protagonist and assistant banter at work, it’s late and they’re eating take-out. Neither has a family – the office is their only family.

Characters are warned not to do it: They’re walking to their car and get a call – a hunter has died after being shot by a fellow hunter. They go to the police station to talk to the chief, who they know, and the chief’s dialog infers that he had history with these two, and that they had been warned.

Denial of Horror: The developer challenges the chief – maybe he’s been slack and someone is messing with them, setting them up so that they can’t develop this land. Maybe someone in town.

Character refuses to take action: The police chief won’t investigate, and seems to take the side of the environmentalist

Doing something forbidden: Word is already out in town about the monster. Campers try to hide out in the preserve on a dare.

Environment changing: The game preserve is disorienting, the road disappears and the gates are confusing.

Monster approaching: The campers are trapped by the gate.

No escape or route cut off: “The gate is supposed to be here,” but the gate has changed or won’t open

Face to Face with the monster: The campers are the first ones we see coming face-to-face with the monster.

Safety taken away: With the police chief refusing to take action, the developer decides to stay in a cabin already on the land near the insecure entrance gate and be his own security until he can get the gate fixed.

Monster: The real estate developer witnesses the true horror of the monster – I don’t know what this is yet. I think the wall and gate have contained the monster and kept it from town. I have to figure out some kind of supernatural, maybe energy field that actually keeps the monster inside – the lines of the fence were determined LATER, after some ancient previous civilization had marked them. That’s why the monsters are kept inside, not because of the fence itself. Just writing out loud here.

ACT 2 – THE POINT OF NO RETURN

Isolated / Trapped / Abducted: The real estate developer and his assistant venture into the preserve in an attempt to figure out what’s going on.

Walking into a trap: The assistant and the developer might be walking into the environmentalist’s trap – or is it really a monster?

Friends in danger: The developer’s assistant gets separated from the developer.

See another killed: the developer watches his assistant (and friend) fall, pushed off the cliff by some unseen force. The real estate developer suspects the environmentalist might really have killed him – he’s still in denial.

MIDPOINT – The monster is worse than we thought!

Terrorized: The monsters threaten to break out of the zone – something has been disturbed in the development and must be put back or “fixed.” A set of twins from town died from the monster, and that had never happened before. They had always stayed within the barrier.

Full pursuit by the killer: The protagonist is arrested for threatening the environmentalist (for his own safety – or so he thinks – actually, the environmentalist knows already), and he knows what’s going on by now, but he has to convince the chief to let him go so he can deal with the monsters. He comes up with a plan, then gets wind that the environmentalist was seen at the preserve. He goes to the preserve

ACT 3 — FULL OUT HORROR

Fight to the death: The protagonist has to come up with a plan to fix the damage he has done, but there is no fixing it. The damage is permanent. He must now deal with the monsters. Worse, he is now lost inside the preserve. Going to think of some neat set pieces here inside the gates.

Forced into a dangerous environment: The police chief needs to track down the developer in the game preserve

Kidnapped: The developer could kidnap the environmentalist and shackle him inside the game preserve, where we first discover the environmentalist communicates with the monsters. The police chief finds out the environmentalist has been kidnapped and must go into the preserve.

Hysteria: I really don’t know what to do here. I think there will be some scenes where the environmentalist, who was supposed to be the “expert” realizes the monsters have changed from the development damage, and the protagonist witnesses this.

The thrilling escape from death: The protagonist figures out how to neutralize the monsters.

Resolution: Protagonist makes a phone call. “Seal it up. For good.”

[Aaron Clow]

Aaron’s Horror Plot

What I learned doing this assignment is…? The structure flowed pretty easily using this strategy. I do seem to be classicly lost in the third act though. I will have to do some more on this, but I want to keep moving forward.

ACT 1 — SET UP FOR HORROR

Atmosphere of Evil established: Opening scene is at the atmospheric, imposing gate to the game preserve. A hunter accidentally shot his friend, shooting at a strange monster inside the preserve. He could be making it up, but he seems terrified.

Connect with the characters: Protagonist and assistant banter at work, it’s late and they’re eating take-out. Neither has a family – the office is their only family.

Characters are warned not to do it: They’re walking to their car and get a call – a hunter has died after being shot by a fellow hunter. They go to the police station to talk to the chief, who they know, and the chief’s dialog infers that he had history with these two, and that they had been warned.

Denial of Horror: The developer challenges the chief – maybe he’s been slack and someone is messing with them, setting them up so that they can’t develop this land. Maybe someone in town.

Safety taken away: The developer decides to stay in a cabin already on the land near the insecure entrance gate and be his own security until he can get the gate fixed.

Monster: The real estate developer witnesses the true horror of the monster – I don’t know what this is yet. I think the wall and gate have contained the monster and kept it from town. I have to figure out some kind of supernatural, maybe energy field that actually keeps the monster inside – the lines of the fence were determined LATER, after some ancient previous civilization had marked them. That’s why the monsters are kept inside, not because of the fence itself. Just writing out loud here.

ACT 2 – THE POINT OF NO RETURN

Isolated / Trapped / Abducted: The real estate developer and his assistant venture into the preserve in an attempt to figure out what’s going on.

One of us killed: Gregor is killed by the monster, who is being followed by an environmentalist from town. The real estate developer suspects the environmentalist might really have killed him – he’s still in denial.

MIDPOINT – The monster is worse than we thought!

Terrorized: The monsters threaten to break out of the zone – something has been disturbed in the development and must be put back or “fixed.” A set of twins from town died from the monster, and that had never happened before. They had always stayed within the barrier.

Full pursuit by the killer: The protagonist is arrested for threatening the environmentalist (for his own safety – or so he thinks – actually, the environmentalist knows already), and he knows what’s going on by now, but he has to convince the chief to let him go so he can deal with the monsters. He comes up with a plan, then gets wind that the environmentalist was seen at the preserve. He goes to the preserve

ACT 3 — FULL OUT HORROR

Fight to the death: The protagonist has to come up with a plan to fix the damage he has done, but there is no fixing it. The damage is permanent. He must now deal with the monsters. Worse, he is now lost inside the preserve. Going to think of some neat set pieces here inside the gates.

Hysteria: I really don’t know what to do here. I think there will be some scenes where the environmentalist, who was supposed to be the “expert” realizes the monsters have changed from the development damage, and the protagonist witnesses this.

The thrilling escape from death: The protagonist figures out how to neutralize the monsters.

Resolution: Protagonist makes a phone call. “Seal it up. For good.”

[Aaron Clow]

Aaron’s Characters for Horror

What I learned doing this assignment is… This exercise is useful in more clearly defining traditional character types for purposes of creating a horror narrative. I might need to fine tune these characters down more, and tighten up some of the narrative around the police and investigation, since it’s not really their story, but at least I’ve found it’s kind of easy to start getting carried away with the different character types. There are always new characters to be found (and killed off).

Tell us your Concept and the Group you have chosen: The concept revolves around whether making a tribute to one’s own family is justified if it’s going to destroy another family. The group I’m sending “through the gauntlet” are the outsiders who don’t understand the nature of the game reserve.

The Dying Pattern of this movie: Most characters experience the terror and survive together, but one or two will die. This occurs at random times throughout the film, starting with one hunter almost killing his friend accidentally. It’s possible I will try to write all the deaths as accidental, meaning the “monster” would not be directly responsible for any of them. Still thinking about that.

Give us an Identity and a sentence for each character that makes up your group.

The developer is a natural leader who rarely thinks of the implications of his developments – he is not necessarily an amoral person, he is on auto pilot, particularly after his family’s sudden death – and is using work as a crutch to get over his despair.

His assistant is a friend from childhood who comes into the area as a foreigner, but who also has a friend who is a local and who understands the game reserve.

The assistant is the innocent, while the assistant’s local friend is the moral one and red herring – he always claims to stand for what’s just, but he might also have something to do with the monster.

The assistant is a possible bridge to morality between the developer and the local.

There are several characters who are Monster Bait – the hunters who first see the monster and almost get killed at the start of the film, the surveyors who disappear into the game reserve and are never seen again.

The local police chief begins an investigation into the disappearances, tries to be helpful to the developer – his quest is to keep the peace, but he does complain that he’s not getting paid enough to do this work and continually notes that his life in town was quiet before this development came in. He initially seems lazy but his curiosity is piqued by the murders and the developments he finds in the woods. He asks a friend from the state police to get involved as a favor, as the state is reluctant to get involved due to resistance from a local group of environmentalists. All “Monster bait.”

• This reply was modified 9 months, 3 weeks ago by  Aaron Clow.

[Aaron Clow]

Tell us what or who your monster is: The monster is a supernatural humanoid-type creature that crosses timelines, but not of its own free will. I’m still figuring this out. Originally, I wanted to have it be a Sasquatch, but I’m afraid that has kind of been done. I still want a humanoid creature, but I’m not quite sure in what form it will take. It can materialize anywhere within the confines of the park where the developer plans to put in his lifestyle community.

Give us a few sentences for each of the following for your monster:

• Their Terror: The monster terrorizes those in its space and its family’s space. It is mostly defensive but will become aggressive if it becomes aware that someone is an active threat. There are some supernatural elements of the game reserve that can cause confusion with people – there is some magnetic interference that can influence people’s brains (and communication equipment, but generally only when the monster appears).

• Their Mystery: How can the protagonist continue to build his active lifestyle community in the remote game reserve without stepping on this creature’s space? Is there a middle ground to be discovered, or can the monster appear out of nowhere no matter what?

• Their Fear Provoking Appearance: The monster can appear from a portal at any time, but the materialization causes the creature pain. It shimmers and screams as it materializes. It doesn’t ask to be brought to the space, it senses a disturbance (the presence of heavy equipment digging into the ground) and is compelled to appear. The creature’s scream is menacing as it is tortured by materialization, and that just feeds its anger.

• Their Rules: The monster, if given time to calm after materializing, can be calmed enough to return to its own place and time. If it senses peace in its current environment, it can be convinced not to attack, but to retreat.

• Their Mythology: The monster’s ancestors have dwelled – undisturbed – in this game reserve for centuries. There have only been scattered reports of any unexplained violence over that time. The major incidents start when blasting and digging start happening.

Answer the question "What I learned doing this assignment is…” I have a lot more thinking to do about this monster and hope I come up with something a little more compelling, particularly its form.

• This reply was modified 9 months, 3 weeks ago by  Aaron Clow. Reason: formatting cleanup

[Aaron Clow]

It Comes At Night Horror Conventions

Title / Concept: It Comes At Night

Terrorize The Characters: Characters are under constant threat from a worldwide virus, as well as the living things that could bring it to their doorstep.

Isolation: The family has retreated to a house deep in the woods and has barricaded itself inside, with only one way in and out. They have cut off contact with anyone outside their family unit.

Death: Death by violence (other people) or through suffering with the plague.

Monster/Villain: Other humans who might be infected or who might be violent because they’re looking to stay alive or protect their own families.

High Tension: How do you keep your family safe from a plague, from others who might wish to do you harm? Do you allow others into your sphere? What does it take to trust?

Departure from Reality: We recently experienced a pandemic, but what makes this a departure from reality is that the virus depicted in the film was much more infectious and deadly, and as a result civilization had collapsed

Moral Statement: By the end of the film, the viewer is left to consider to what lengths they might go to protect their family, and do ethics and trust mean anything in a post-apocalyptic landscape.

What makes this a great horror film? I’m not sure it’s a great horror film. I remember liking it back in 2017 when I first saw it, and I was surprised upon this re-watch to see it was an A24 film, made before I knew what an “A24” type film was. It was much more nuanced than most horror films I had seen before that date and I loved the way it made me think about what trust is, and how trust can get eroded when the stakes are high. Also, the protagonist was not just an anti-hero, they might have actually been a villain. But by the end of the film, I think what made it *not* a great film was that the ending renders the entire film almost pointless as far as messaging goes.

Forest for the Trees Horror Conventions

Concept: A real estate developer buys a centuries-old game reserve with the intent to turn it into an “active lifestyle community,” in spite of an increasing awareness that supernatural creatures are already there.

Terrorize The Characters: Characters find themselves confronting unknown forces in the game reserve, and the real estate developer in particular refuses to give up on his dream but may be forced to do so.

Isolation: The game reserve is unmapped, uncharted, apart from its boundaries. Going inside is like stepping back in time, and hallucinations (?) are common.

Death: By accident or by incident, people sometimes go into the reserve and never come out, except for one attendant whose family has maintained the property for generations.

Monster/Villain: I haven’t figured this out yet – the monster/villain could be supernatural, physical, or even the caretaker.

High Tension: The real estate developer fights the caretaker, the local zoning board, environmentalists, and eventually, the supernatural forces in the game reserve.

Departure from Reality: Inside the game reserve, reality is questionable. The normal, understood rules of nature and the universe don’t always apply.

Moral Statement: What is destruction and what is progress? What does creating something new in tribute for a wife and child tragically lost in an accident mean vs. preserving what exists for others as a tribute?

What I learned doing this assignment is: I need to think about defining more clearly the concepts above for my story. I think if I figure these out more concretely, the script will be easier to write and more entertaining for others to read and (hopefully) eventually watch onscreen.

[Aaron Clow]

Hi everyone, I’m Aaron from Long Island NY. I went to school for film at Emerson College, moved to NYC after college and worked in the music industry for close to fifteen years, then pivoted into tech (to make a living lol). My main writing project has been a podcast based on the Fallout game series, but I have fallen out of a regular writing routine and I am trying to get back on the wagon after some “life goals” assessment and realignment. I think finishing a project would be the best way to gain some momentum and get back in the habit of writing, so for this class I’m hoping to get a first draft of an idea I’ve had in my head for a long time. Looking forward to seeing Charles and Hiram’s projects and working with anyone else that is going to join as well. Cheers!

[Aaron Clow]

1) Aaron Clow
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