Agnes Agnes McCourt
Forum Replies Created
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I Agnes McCourt, agree to the terms of the agreement..
GROUP RELEASE FORM
As a member of this group, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
This completes the Group Release Form for the class. -
1. Agnes McCourt
2. “I agree to the terms of this release form.”GROUP RELEASE FORM
As a member of this group, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
This completes the Group Release Form for the class.-
This reply was modified 8 months, 2 weeks ago by Agnes Agnes McCourt.
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This reply was modified 8 months, 2 weeks ago by
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Hi Everyone,
I’m glad t be in this very interesting class. I have had writing experience in many other areas during the course of my career, but I am new to screenwriting. So, I am looking forward to learning about screenwriting and writing the best screenplay that I can write by taking this course and other courses in screenwriting. I look forward to the class interaction and breakthroughs over the course of this course. -
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GROUP RELEASE FORM
As a member of this group, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
This completes the Group Release Form for the class. -
Hi Carmen,
Yes it is, but I’m just concerned it’s too long and I’m not on the right track, for the Readable Thriller Map.
I’ve posted it in Assignment #14 on the Thriller Genre Forum. I feel it may be too long or too detailed.
Any suggestions or advice (feedback) would help me. I would greatly appreciate any help, as I’m stuck and can not seem to move forward until I get it right.
Thank you so much for responding. I’m new to screenwriting.
Agnes
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I’m looking to exchange feedback. I’m not sure I’m on the right track for the Readable Thriller Map, so any help would be greatly appreciated. This is for the Thriller Genre Ass #14 and #15. Thank you. Agnez
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Subject: Agnes’s Thriller Map Version 1
What I learned is there was a lot of repetition in my story and plot throughout the original thriller map that needed to be removed. I had to reorganize several parts so that the story would flow properly and in sequence to events. But, doing it this way allowed me to see my story more clearly once I cleaned up the duplication and organized it better. I also found that I needed to add my ending to my entire story.
Thriller Map Version 1
INT – SMALL TOWN FARM HOUSE (1942)
A man shoots his wife, and turns the shotgun on himself, leaving a young 2 year old an orphan, John Roberts. He is raised by another family, but is marred by his father’s actions in the small town.
EXT – PARK IN SMALL TOWN – DUSK (1960)
A troubled wife goes missing suddenly during a daytime picnic. Helen Roberts disappears suddenly without a trace. No one sees her disappear.
John Roberts trusts wife and father-in-law. Father-in-law is quick to blame John once his daughter disappears mysteriously. John no longer trusts his father-in-law and has no idea what happened to his wife.
No one can remember seeing her go missing from the picnic, least of all her own husband, who worked late at her father’s bank. Helen vanished into thin air.
Does Helen suffer from the same mental illness her mother suffers from? Is Helen mentally ill (or faking her mental illness?)
Her father, Mike Deans, is not searching for his daughter immediately knowing she has done this on two previous occasions. He is more intent on removing the unwanted and unpopular son-in-law, John Roberts, from his bank business forever, whatever it takes.
There are two reasons for Mike Deans wanting to have John Roberts convicted and sent away. John Roberts knows about Mike Deans’ wife’s mental illness. Mike Deans wants his wife’s mental illness covered up and to never be revealed.
Mike Deans is hiding secrets he does not want revealed that could destroy his career and standing in the community. Mike Deans is willing to do anything to cover up his secrets whatever it takes.
Mike Deans is quick to conclude that John Roberts, his son-in-law, somehow murdered and hid his daughter’s body in the nearby woods, when he knows she has disappeared before.
INT – POLICE STATION – SAME NIGHT
John Roberts is arrested for murder and causing her body to disappear as she is never found. John trusts the system as he knows that he did not murder or hurt his wife.
John Deans is quick to accuse John Roberts of murdering and burying his daughter’s body in the nearby woods near the picnic area. He has a lot of sway with the authorities in the town. John Roberts is shockingly arrested, and charged with murder.
INT – THREE MONTHS EARLIER – JOHN AND HELEN’S WEDDING
Helen pushed for a quick wedding with John as they had been close friends since they both started school together. He wasn’t ready but she said they could make it work.
Mike Deans, the father-in-law trusts his son-in-law, John Roberts and lets him marry his daughter and gives him a job at his bank, but deep down he does not like her choice for husband because of his troubled childhood experience.
INT – ROBERTS’HOME – NIGHT BEFORE HELEN DISAPPEARED
John Roberts felt guilty that their marriage was not working out after all the effort he had put into that relationship. Helen accused him of “beastly behaviour” wanting marital relations all the time. They quarreled frequently over this matter.
INT – COURTROOM – DAY
John Roberts trusts townspeople and jury to find him innocent. No one listens to John Roberts when he proclaims his innocence and they quickly judge him as guilty. John can find no allies to help him in his case and he is quickly judged as guilty. John is betrayed by his own father-in-law and accused of murder. John loses faith in the system once he is found guilty without evidence and he is sentenced to 20 years for her murder in the penitentiary.
Mike Deans allows John Roberts to be blamed for Helen’s disappearance this time. Mike Deans is sure that they will find his son-in-law guilty and lock him up, despite knowing that his daughter has disappeared on previous occasions on her own. His dislike for his son-in-law makes him want to have him take the blame for her sudden disappearance and to get him out of his life.
Deans is hiding family secrets from the police and townspeople about his private life. His hatred of his son-in-law, allows him to let his son-in-law take the blame instead of telling the truth about the family secret of mental illness. It’s more efficient to have John Roberts removed from his life permanently than for the town to find out that Mike Deans has some dark secrets. If Mike Deans’ secret is revealed, it can affect both his reputation and his career in the small town.
INT – DEANS FAMILY HOME
Molly Deans is suffering from a mental illness and but John Deans’ previous actions made her mentally ill.
Mike Deans plans to keep John Roberts locked up for 20 years to get him out of his life.
Mike Deans’ secret is so severe that he will have an innocent person locked up. John Roberts knows about Mike Deans’ family secret through his wife, Helen Roberts, but not everything.
We discover that John Deans’ wife, has been suffering with some form of a mental illness for years, and he has suspected that his own daughter is also suffering with the same mental illness, and she has disappeared before and then returned.
INT – STATE PENITENTIARY – 1960
Mike Deans underestimates John Roberts’s resilience in fighting for justice. Incarceration does not destroy John Roberts. He makes good use of his time in prison. John Roberts becomes a model prisoner, and starts taking college studies to improve his chances for a better job later when he is released.
Mike Deans underestimates John Roberts’s ambition to achieve higher education and become a model prisoner and helps other inmates successfully with their Appeals as he eventually obtains all his qualifications as a lawyer. John never gives up on his proclaiming his innocence and decides to work within the system to prove his innocence, via appeals.
Mike worked hard to make John give up all his appeals so that he will never be released to return to town. John hates his father-in-law and after a while he no longer trusts his own wife and starts to forget about her.
INT – SMALL HOME TOWN – (1964)
Mike Deans is not actively looking for his daughter and prefers everyone believe she is dead. Mike Deans knows his daughter is not dead and lets his son-in-law get convicted for her death though no evidence is ever found. Mike Deans suspects his daughter suffers from the same mental illness as his wife and that she has disappeared on two previous occasions and returned on her own. Mike Deans feels secure that his secret will remain secret if his son-in-law is locked away for murder. He is not quite sure what he will do once his daughter resurfaces in the future.
EXT – NEAR PARK – DURING THE PARK PICNIC – (1960)
Helen is lured away by a strange hitchhiker and seems to not remember her own name. Helen leaving with a complete stranger can put her life in danger. Helen appears to be suffering from a mental illness or amnesia. Is it learned behaviour or is she really mentally ill? Her disappearance puts John Roberts in jail for murder, and in danger.
INT – FLORIDA (1964)
Helen is no longer happy with her new boyfriend and starts the same mental health issues she had with her husband in a far away state.
INT – STATE MENTAL ASYLUM (1964)
Helen (Red Herring) is alive but appears to be suffering from amnesia. She gets locked up in a state mental asylum far from home. She writes letters and envelopes every day and only one nurse assistant is interested in what she is doing. They do not know who she is. Helen is locked up in an asylum by her boyfriend but Helen is writing letters everyday in the asylum. The asylum is unable to determine Helen’s identity. Helen writes letters and addresses envelopes daily. Helen is not sure who she can trust in the asylum with her letters.
INT – SMALL TOWN (1968)
Mike Deans continues the cover-up of his daughter’s disappearance and lets John Roberts rot in jail. Mike Deans is taking his time in searching for his daughter till he’s retired and not sharing his previous experiences with authorities about his daughter’s previous disappearances.
Mike Deans is not in any rush to find his daughter, but starts thinking about hiring a private investigator to find her. That’s in just in case, she suddenly shows up, he can prove that he did look into his daughter missing and she was not dead. Mike Deans loves his daughter and deep inside knows she just disappeared but is in no hurry to locate her. Mike Deans is satisfied that his daughter is probably fine and is glad to have his son-in-law locked away for a long time.
He is more concerned with his position in town, than looking for his missing daughter and having his son-in-law released. He is concerned about what will happen once she does reappear and John is released. Mike Deans knows that his daughter will resurface and then there will have to be an explanations and possible consequences to face for having John wrongfully convicted.
INT – STATE MENTAL ASYLUM (1968)
Helen Roberts’s identity is finally discovered by the envelopes she keeps addressing and the name of the return address on the envelopes. Helen is released and returns home to her small town.
INT – PENITENTIARY – (1968)
John Roberts is released and reunited with his wife who has been missing for 8 years.
John Roberts’s faith in the law is renewed and further he is successful in suing for wrongful imprisonment.
INT – SMALL TOWN RECEPTION (1968)
John is no longer treated badly by the townspeople, but he has lost all trust in his father-in-law and his wife when she reappears.
INT – MIKE DEANS HOME (1968)
Mike Deans believes his daughter is suffering from the same mental illness his wife has but has not shared that information with anyone. Mike Deans is not certain that John Roberts knows his secret about his wife, Molly Deans, and why she is so mentally ill. Mike Deans underestimated John Roberts’s ambition and ability to succeed in prison not only as a model prisoner, but as a scholar.
INT – JOHN ROBERTS’S HOME (1968)
John Roberts’s immediate release and successful lawsuit against the state for wrongful imprisonment affects Mike Deans. There are many changes in John Roberts’s financial situation once he receives a huge settlement for wrongful imprisonment. John regains his trust in the system and his life improves.
He has no love for his father-in-law or his wife who has not changed at all. But he endures the situation for a few years.
INT – ROBERTS’S HOME (1968)
John Roberts is released and he has to face Mike Deans and the townspeople that had him convicted wrongfully. John Roberts accepts his wife’s strange disappearance and they return to living together as husband and wife. The townspeople now welcome him back and see that they had misjudged him.
John Roberts is now a successful lawyer who sues the state successfully for being wrongfully incarcerated and wins a large amount of money to set up his small law practice and buys a beautiful home back in his home town beside the very park where the original picnic and woods are located.
John appears to live happily ever after with Helen but there are changes in their marriage arrangement. He no longer trusts his wife or his father-in-law.
John Roberts appears to continue his life successfully and becomes well respected in the town as he seems to hold no grudge for the years he spent behind bars for no reason. It all appears as though, all is forgiven and forgotten to everyone in town. John Roberts is also a pillar of society now and sits on town council meetings.
INT – MIKE DEANS HOME (1968)
Mike Dean’s reaction when his daughter returns and John Roberts is freed.
INT – JOHN AND HELEN’S HOME (1968)
At first, John accepts his wife’s “mental illness” as the excuse for her disappearance.
John Roberts discovers in an argument that his wife was only “faking her mental illness” to get back at John for his “beastly behaviour” and that she has watched her mother’s behaviour since childhood and simply copied that behaviour.
Helen also reveals that her father had made her mother have an illegal abortion before they were married and she never fully recovered from the experience. This was the reason Molly Deans was so mentally ill.
John seeks revenge for the years he lost for the false accusations of murder.
Mike Deans wronged John Roberts and never explains or apologizes for misjudging him. John Roberts’ decides to take revenge on both for losing 8 years of his life.
John plans for over two years on how he will rid himself of this troublesome wife that took 8 years of his life away and has no remorse whatsoever for her behaviour.
When she finally reveals that she had only been “faking it” to get away from him and that town, he loses all trust in her and starts planning his revenge.
INT – MIKE DEANS HOME
Mike Deans fear once his daughter returns and she and John are reunited. John Deans keeps a close eye on his daughter daily and his son-in-law. John Deans keeps waiting to see what John Roberts will do about his participation in having him incarcerated wrongfully.
Mike Deans continues to believe that his daughter has the same illness as his wife, but on occasion wonders about it. Mike Deans keeps a close eye on his son-in-law in case he finds out that his daughter has disappeared before and that she may not be suffering from any mental illness. Mike keeps daily tabs on both his daughter and his son-in-law.
Mike Deans trusts that all is going well now that his daughter has returned and is living in good style with her husband who has been released for being wrongfully incarcerated for 8 years.
His entire secret never surfaces publicly, but he keeps close tabs on is daughter in case she gets the notion to disappear again. He’s not sure if he can trust his son-in-law but has no choice at this stage.
EXT – NEARBY PARK TO JOHN’S HOME
Incarceration has taught John patience and he plans his actions over the course of two years, as nothing has changed since his wife returned. She still cannot cook anything. She still does nothing around the house. She still avoids him and has her own bedroom.
John quietly plots his successful revenge towards his cheating and lying wife who cost him 8 years of his life. He is also plans to pay back his father-in-law at the same time he takes his revenge.
John Roberts walks through the nearby park daily as his law office is on one side of the park and his home is adjacent to his law office. Sometimes he approaches his home from the front walkway. Other days, he walks through the woods and enters his home climbing a small hill and enters his home through the back door.
He’s learned about the park and what grows in the park over the years. He feels the ground and how it feels when it is wet and when it’s hard during a dry spell. He notices its bounciness after rainfall. He learns the amount of rain that makes it soggy and how much makes it muddy. He tests it with a stick to see how it enters the ground easily and cleanly with lesser rain. He has waited over two years, and the time is right for his plan.
INT – JOHN’S REVENGE – (1970)
After two years, its finally time, it’s now 1970. He has had two years of freedom. He’s got the town’s respect with his success as a lawyer and forgiving husband.
Being September the time is right now. It will be darkening about 5:30pm in the evening. By 6pm, the hill will be dusk, and by 6:30pm it will be dark.
As he enters his kitchen, he’s cheery and Helen turns from the stove and offers her cheek to him which he barely brushes with his lips. She’s frying up some steak, which will be inedible, and she blames the butcher for the cut of the meat. She mentions that her father had stopped by to visit her earlier but she does not speak about her mother, she seems to have forgotten just as the town has forgotten her mother. She complains about the house being too much to care for. John promises to speak to the butcher about the cut of the meat. He talks about getting some help for her with the house. He planned this for himself already months ago.
John checks his watch and it’s almost 6pm as he looks through the kitchen windows and it’s nearly dark. He tries to hurry Helen’s dinner preparations but she’s always taking so long to do anything.
She wants a drink before dinner, though she rarely drinks. She reminds John that he doesn’t have to get to the Council Meeting until 8pm. She wants to serve the dinner in the dining room instead of the kitchen where they normally have their dinners. Helen had set the dinner table, drank her Rob Roy and burned the steak until 6:30pm. John is thinking he could have killed her by 6:30pm and he was getting anxious. His plan is running late.
He’s checking his watch to rearrange his time, but Helen wants another drink before she sits down for dinner. He counts fifteen minutes for the drink, a half hour for dinner, fifteen minutes to clear the table and get the dishes washed. So, now it will be 7:30pm before he can kill her, drag her body down to the woods and bury her, get back to the house, call Deans and leave for the Council meeting by a quarter to 8pm.
INT – MURDER DONE RIGHT (1970)
John reaches across the drinks, puts his hands around her neck which is long and slim and presses tightly. Helen’s body drops to the floor by 6:38pm, dead. He stares for a moment recalculating his plans and changes how much time he now has to add to running late. He changes the order of his plans to make up for lost time.
He quickly goes upstairs to Helen’s closet to locate her new fall coat and slowly walks down the stairs, to calm him. In the kitchen, He thrusts Helen’s limp arms into the coat sleeves. He memorizes Helen’s black pants, white sweater.
It’s now 6:50pm and he can smell the steak burned dry. He quickly turns off the stove and dumps the steak down the garbage disposal filling the pan with water to soak the burned pan. While he’s disposing of the steak, he dumps the salad and looks around quickly for any other food that they may have eaten for dinner. He scrapes the pan of carrots and turns back to Helen on the floor.
Helen’s eyes are wide and blue in death, with no more expression than when she was alive. Her lips are slightly parted. John feels glad that she is now dead finally.
EXT – BODY DISPOSAL – (1970)
It’s now 7pm, and he goes back into his mechanical plans to dispose of her body. He puts on the gardener’s boots and gloves, gets the wheelbarrow and shovel from the tool shed out back and lifts Helen’s body from the kitchen floor to the wheelbarrow to wheel her through the dark, and down the grassy hillside to the edge of the woods that are around the park. There’s a soft cool wind blowing through the trees and clouds are colliding in the sky, suggesting another rain, which is good, as long as it doesn’t start for a few hours.
The soil is just as he wants it to be, easy to dig through, just right to lift out shovelfuls of sod and lay them aside, loose so that he can work quickly. John begins to sweat in the cool breeze so he takes off his suit jacket and puts it over Helen in the wheelbarrow, concerned if he’ll have enough time to change his shirt, checking his watch. It’s too dark to see the time clearly.
He works as fast as he can, digging a narrow grave, but deep, using the shovel to measure the depth regularly, the sod is on one side, while the soil is on the other, until he feels the grave is deep enough.
He puts down the shovel carefully and tries to cool his shirt from all the perspiration. He takes his suit jacket from the body and puts it on. Then, he tips the wheelbarrow so that the body falls into the grave he has dug. He’s careful not to kneel on the soft earth, and straightens her out. Then, he shovels the soil, pressing it down with his gardener’s boots. When there is only about three inches of soil missing, he fits the sod over it, using the shovel to press the sod down over the grave. He scatters the remaining soil displaced by her body in small heaps under nearby trees.
John puts the shovel in the wheelbarrow and quickly pulls it up the hill. The lights in the kitchen provide him the light he needs to get to the tool shed. Looking at his watch he sees it is now 7:30pm. He’s still running on good time and pleased with himself. He puts the wheelbarrow, shovel, boots and gloves back in their place. He shakes his trousers back into a good crease and goes back into the house kitchen.
INT – ALIBI – (1970)
It’s 7:32pm and he still has dirty dishes to clean!
He decides to call Mike Deans and put a cheery note in his voice to suggest that he can pick him up before eight and that they could go to the Council meeting together, no point taking two cars.
John runs back to the kitchen, takes off his coat and tosses it on a chair, then rolls up his shirt sleeves to clean the dirty pans. He finally stacks the unused clean dishes back in their place in the cupboards along with the silver ware and glassware. He removes the tablecloth and folds it neatly and puts it away and puts the usual centerpiece back on the table. It’s close to 7:47pm so he has no time to change his shirt.
He goes to the living room to turn on the TV, piles the pillows the way Helen liked them piled on the sofa and makes the pillows appear as though a head had been resting on it. He leaves a lamp light on.
The lights in the dining room are now off, so he grabs his suit jacket and puts it on, buttoning a button, takes a quick look around the now tidy kitchen, and checks his watch indicating its now 7:52. He turns off the kitchen lights, slams the door, making sure it’s locked and runs for the garage to his car.
He picks up Mike Deans around 7:59pm and they arrive at the meeting at about 8:10pm where he pays close attention to the meeting but without hearing a word of what they were saying. He’s listening for rain. A gentle rain will do the job. It will remove any evidence of trampled grass and the sod on the grave will spring back up. The soil he scattered will sink further down into the ground.
INT – JOHN INVITES MIKE TO HIS HOUSE – (1970)
John thought that if the meeting had been a long one, he might have invited Mike back with him to explain the lateness of the hour, but the meeting is over by 9pm; so he opened the door for his father-in-law and offered an alternate suggestion. He felt it was still early and so he could drive him to the house first, and they could have a nightcap and Helen and he can both drive him home. John suggests that Helen could use the fresh air after a night of watching TV where he had left her.
The rain started as he unlocked the back door and heard a familiar commercial advertisement. He laughed and called out to his wife, telling her that he’s brought a guest home to visit her for drinks.
John waits, as the rain now grows stronger against the windowpanes. John goes to the living room to see the dented pillows, and no Helen.
INT – HELEN IS MISSING, AGAIN – (1970)
John yells for Helen as he runs up the house stairs. He’s now going from room to room, turning on the lights, opening and closing doors. He runs downstairs and turns off the TV. He pushes Mike aside as he searches the downstairs rooms, cupboards, closets, and even the basement of the house.
From the kitchen, John runs out to the tool shed, turning on the garage lights and comes back in soaked from the rain. He walks back to the hallway, with his shoulders slumped, and dials the number of the police. He speaks in a broken voice. By now he’s sobbing to the police.
He turns to Mike and tells him Helen is gone. It’s happening all over again, just like it did before, Mike just comprehends the situation and while it is happening again, this time he could not accuse Mike of the crime that he had committed having once accused him of the uncommitted crime.
The police chief arrives in minutes, eager to help solve the problem without jumping to a quick conclusion as they had before. John is able to identify all the clothes Helen was wearing, and the new brown coat that was now missing. She had not taken any identification as her handbag was left behind. The police chief simply shakes his head, and says that all they can do is put out an APB, and focus on the asylums between here and Florida. The police chief doesn’t feel he owes Mike Deans anything else.
John is seen as a hero and a romantic martyr. Meanwhile Molly Deans didn’t even realize her daughter had been missing, returned, and has gone missing again.
Mike Deans has no way of knowing whether Helen disappears on her own, or not, and they will not charge John with the same crime again
John Roberts finally feels that it had been worth every minute of his eight years in prison for Helen.
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Subject Line: Agnes’s Misdirects…When Appropriate!
“What I learned doing this assignment is it can be difficult to insert “misdirection” without being repetitive. So, some other sections may need to be reworked to make the story and plot flow more smoothly and possibly reduce other areas of repetition, or actions out of sequence or order.”
Assignment:
1. Checked the following three to see how effectively I used misdirection.
A. The Red Herring character – Helen Roberts, is she mentally ill or is she “faking it?” (Misdirect)
B. The Villain’s plan. – Keeping two main secrets:
1. One revealed about his wife suffers from mental illness, so he assumes his daughter does as well;
2. Why his wife is mentally ill, what did the villain do to her that caused her mental illness? (Misdirect)
C. The cover-up for each mystery present as “Reality.”
What is the real reason John Deans is adamant in keeping John Roberts locked away to avoid the family secrets he is keeping?
3. Thriller Map for a few opportunities to and in misdirection:
A. Character Misdirection.
· Red Herring, Helen Roberts. Is Helen Roberts mentally ill like her mother, or is she “faking her mental illness?”
· Molly Deans has a mental illness caused by her husband, what happened to her?
· Hero, John Roberts, focuses on his future despite being jailed wrongfully.
· Villain, Mike Deans, has two secrets, but fears that John Roberts will expose both but is unaware that John Roberts doesn’t know everything.
· Why are Mike Deans’ secrets so severe that he will have an innocent person locked up?
· Why does Mike Deans finally start to look into locating his missing daughter?
· Why can no one in the asylum discover who Helen Roberts is?
· John Roberts appears to continue his life successfully and becomes well respected in the town as he seems to hold no grudge for the years he spent behind bars for no reason.
· What does John Roberts do to get his revenge on both his wife and father-in-law and get away with it?
B. Dialogue Misdirection. (None at this stage)
Thriller Map
OPENING: A troubled wife goes missing suddenly during a daytime picnic.
Twist #1:
Direction: Helen Roberts disappears suddenly without a trace.
Twist: No one sees her disappear.
TRUST: Hero trusts wife and father-in-law.
DISTRUST: Father-in-law is quick to blame hero once his daughter disappears mysteriously.
Life Threatening Sequence #1: Helen faces a life threatening situation and as to what made her go missing. No one can remember seeing her go missing from the picnic, least of all her own husband, who worked late at her father’s bank. Helen vanished into thin air.
TRUST: John trusted his wife and father-in-law.
DISTRUST: John no longer trusts his father-in-law and has no idea what happened to his wife.
Mystery Sequence #1: Does Helen suffer from the same mental illness her mother suffers from?
Reveal #1: Helen Roberts disappears without a trace.
Clue #1 (Overt): Is Helen mentally ill (or faking her mental illness?)
Misdirection: Is Helen Roberts mentally ill like her mother, or is she “faking her mental illness?”
Villain’s Plan (Intrigue) #1: Father is not searching for his daughter immediately knowing she has done this on two previous occasions. He is more intent on removing the unwanted and unpopular son-in-law, John Roberts from his business forever, whatever it takes.
Reveal #2: Mike Deans is not in a hurry to find his daughter.
Clue #2 (Covert): Why isn’t Mike Deans looking for his daughter?
Misdirection: There are two reasons for Mike Deans wanting to have John Roberts convicted and sent away.
1. He knows about his wife’s mental illness; 2. Mike Deans wants reason for his wife’s mental illness covered up and to never be revealed.
Twist #2:
Direction: Mike Deans is hiding secrets he does not want revealed that could destroy his career and standing in the community.
Twist: Mike Deans is willing to do anything to cover up his secrets whatever it takes.
TRUST: Father-in-law (villain) trusts son-in-law, lets him marry his daughter and gives him a job.
DISTRUST: Villain father-in-law knows of his daughters’ disappearing acts, but lets his son-in-law take the blame for his daughter’s sudden disappearance.
INCITING INCIDENT: Hero is arrested for murder and causing her body to disappear as she is never found.
TRUST: Hero trusts the system as he knows that he did not murder or hurt his wife.
DISTRUST: Hero loses faith in the system once he is found guilty with no evidence and he is sentenced to 20 years for her murder.
Twist #3:
Direction: Mike Deans is quick to conclude that John Roberts, his son-in-law, somehow murdered and hid his daughter’s body, when he knows she has disappeared before.
Twist: Mike Deans is hiding a secret from the authorities and the townspeople.
TRUST: Hero trusts townspeople and jury to find him innocent.
DISTRUST: Hero loses all trust in townspeople and system once he is found guilty and sentenced without evidence.
Life Threatening Sequence #2: Mike Roberts felt guilty that their marriage was not working out after all the effort he had put into that relationship.
Mystery Sequence #2: Father (Mike Deans) is not actively looking for his daughter and prefers everyone believe she is dead?
Reveal #3: Mike Deans knows his daughter is not dead and lets his son-in-law get convicted for her death though no evidence is ever found.
Clue #3 (Covert): Mike Deans already knows that his daughter is not dead because she has disappeared on two previous occasions.
Twist #4:
Direction: Mike Deans suspects his daughter suffers from the same mental illness as his wife and that she has disappeared on two previous occasions and returned.
Twist: Mike Deans allows John Roberts to be blamed for her disappearance this time.
TRUST: The Villain, Mike Deans, is sure that they will find his son-in-law guilty and lock him up, despite knowing that his daughter has disappeared on previous occasions on her own.
DISTRUST: His dislike for his son-in-law makes him want to have him take the blame for her sudden disappearance and to get him out of his life.
Villain’s Plan (Intrigue) #2: John Deans is quick to accuse John Roberts of murdering and burying his daughter’s body in the nearby woods near the picnic area. He has a lot of sway with the authorities in the town.
Reveal #4: Mike Deans is hiding family secrets from the police and townspeople about his private life.
Misdirection: Mike Deans does not want his family secrets known to anyone in town, and dislikes his son-in-law, so he is quick to let him take the blame for his daughter’s disappearance.
Twist #5:
Direction: No one listens to John Roberts when he proclaims his innocence and they quickly judge him as guilty.
Twist: John can find no allies to help him in his case and he is immediately judged as guilty.
TRUST: Deep down the Villain, Mike Deans, knows that his daughter is safe and has just disappeared on her own.
DISTRUST: His hatred of his son-in-law, allows him to let his son-in-law take the blame instead of telling the truth about the family secret of mental illness.
TURNING POINT 1: John Roberts is quickly arrested, tried and convicted for the murder of his young new wife.
Twist #6:
Direction: John Roberts is judged quickly for the murder of his new wife, Mike Deans’ daughter, Helen.
Twist: The case against John Roberts is wrapped up very quickly.
TRUST: John trusts the system and the fact that there is no proof he did anything to his wife.
DISTRUST: John quickly realizes he has no allies to help prove his innocence and he is quickly found guilty with the help of his own father-in-law. John is betrayed by his own father-in-law and accused of murder.
Life Threatening Sequence #3: It’s more efficient to have John Roberts removed from his life permanently than for the town to find out that Mike Deans has some dark secrets.
If Mike Deans’ secret is revealed, it can affect both his reputation and his career in the small town.
Reveal #5: Molly Deans is suffering from a mental illness and but John Deans’ previous actions made her mentally ill.
Clue #4 (Overt): How did Mike Deans contribute to his wife’s mental illness?
Twist #7:
Direction: Mike Deans is hiding a secret from everyone that he wants this matter wrapped up quickly and John Roberts out of the way.
Twist: Mike Deans underestimates John Roberts’s resilience in fighting for justice.
TRUST: Mike Deans (Villain) feels secure that his secret will remain secret if his son-in-law is locked away for murder.
DISTRUST: He is not quite sure what he will do once his daughter resurfaces in the future.
Mystery Sequence #3: John Roberts is convicted for murder gets 20 years at a penitentiary.
Reveal #6: John Roberts is shockingly arrested, charged and quickly sentenced to 20 years for a murder without any evidence.
Villain’s Plan (Intrigue) #3: Mike Deans plans to keep John Roberts locked up for 20 years to get him out of his life.
Misdirection: Why are Mike Deans’ secrets so severe that he will have an innocent person locked up?
Reveal #7.1: John Roberts knows about Mike Deans family secret through his wife, Helen Roberts, but not everything.
Reveal #7.2: John Deans underestimates John Roberts’s ambition to achieve higher education and become a model prisoner and help other inmates successfully with their Appeals as he eventually obtains all his qualifications as a lawyer.
Direction: Incarceration does not destroy John Roberts.
Twist: He makes good use of his time in prison.
TRUST: John never gives up on his proclaiming his innocence and decides to work within the system to prove his innocence, via appeals.
DISTRUST: John no longer trusts his father-in-law and after a while he no longer trusts his own wife and starts to forget about her.
MIDPOINT: We discover that John Deans’ wife, has been suffering with some form of a mental illness for years, and he has suspected that his own daughter is also suffering with the same mental illness, and she has disappeared before and then returned.
Threatening Sequence #4: Helen is lured away by a strange hitchhiker and seems to not remember her own name.
Helen leaving with a stranger can put her life in danger.
Her disappearance puts John Roberts in jail for murder, and in danger.
Twist #8:
Direction: Helen appears to be suffering from a mental illness or amnesia.
Twist: Is it learned behaviour or is she really mentally ill?
TRUST: Helen takes off with a complete stranger.
DISTRUST: Helen is no longer happy with her new boyfriend and starts the same mental health issues she had with her husband.
Mystery Sequence #4: Helen is locked up in an asylum by her boyfriend but Helen is writing letters everyday in the asylum
Reveal #8: Helen writes letters and addresses envelopes daily.
Villain’s Plan (Intrigue) #4: Mike Deans is taking his time in searching for his daughter till he’s retired and not sharing his previous experiences with authorities about his daughter’s previous disappearances.
Reveal #9: Mike Deans is not in any rush to find his daughter, but starts thinking about hiring a private investigator to find her.
Twist #9
Direction: Mike Deans is in no rush to have his beloved daughter found.
Twist: Mike Deans loves his daughter and deep inside knows she just disappeared but is in no hurry to locate her.
Misdirection: Why does Mike Deans finally start to look into locating his missing daughter?
TRUST: Mike Deans is satisfied that his daughter is probably fine and is glad to have his son-in-law locked away for a long time.
DISTRUST: He is more concerned with his position in town, than looking for his missing daughter and having his son-in-law released. He is concerned about what will happen once she does reappears and he is released.
TURNING POINT: Helen is alive but appears to be suffering from amnesia. She gets locked up in a state mental asylum far from home. She writes letters and envelopes every day and only one nurse assistant is interested in what she is doing. They do not know who she is.
Threatening Sequence #5: Mike Deans knows that his daughter will resurface and then there will have to be an explanations and possible consequences to face for having John wrongfully convicted.
Mystery Sequence #5: The asylum is unable to determine Helen’s identity.
Reveal #10: Helen’s identity remains a secret for quite a while.
Misdirection: Why can no one in the asylum discover who Helen Roberts is?
Twist #10:
Direction: Mike Deans’ reaction once his daughter finally resurfaces.
Twist: John Roberts is released and reunited with his wife who has been missing for 8 years.
TRUST: John Roberts’s faith in the law is renewed and further he is successful in suing for wrongful imprisonment.
DISTRUST: He is no longer treated badly by the townspeople, but he has lost all trust in his father-in-law and his wife when she reappears.
Villain’s Plan (Intrigue) #5: Mike Deans believes his daughter is suffering from the same mental illness his wife has but has not shared that information with anyone.
Reveal #11: Mike Deans is not certain that John Roberts knows his secret about his wife, Molly Deans, and why she is ill.
CLIMAX: Mike Deans knows that his son-in-law is innocent because Helen has disappeared and reappeared later on previous occasions, but wants to keep the secret of the mental illness in the family quiet for his reputation and career.
Threatening Sequence #5: Mike worked hard to make John give up all his appeals so that he will never be released to return to town.
Mystery Sequence #5: John Roberts becomes a model prisoner, and starts taking college studies to improve his chances for a better job later when he is released.
Reveal #12: John Roberts behaviour as a model prisoner surprises everyone, especially Mike Deans.
Villain’s Plan (Intrigue) #5: Mike Deans continues the cover-up of his daughter’s disappearance and lets John Roberts rot in jail.
Reveal #13: Mike Deans underestimates John Roberts’s ambition and ability to succeed in prison not only as a model prisoner, but as a scholar.
Twist #11:
Direction: John Roberts release and successful lawsuit against the state for wrongful imprisonment affects Mike Deans.
Twist: The changes in John Roberts’s financial situation once he receives a huge settlement for wrongful imprisonment.
TRUST: The hero regains his trust in the system and his life improves.
DISTRUST: He has no love for his father-in-law or his wife who has not changed at all. But he endures the situation for a few years.
RESOLUTION: Daughter is released and returns home to her small town and husband.
John Roberts is released immediately from prison.
John Roberts is a now successful lawyer who sues the state successfully for being wrongfully incarcerated and wins a large amount of money to set up his small law practice and buys a beautiful home back in his home town beside the very park where the original picnic and woods are located.
The townspeople now welcome him back and see that they had misjudged him.
John appears to live happily ever after with Helen but there are changes in their marriage arrangement.
Misdirection: John Roberts appears to continue his life successfully and becomes well respected in the town as he seems to hold no grudge for the years he spent behind bars for no reason. It all appears as though, all is forgiven and forgotten to everyone in town. John Roberts is also a pillar of society now and sits on town council meetings.<sub></sub>
John seeks revenge for the years he lost for the false accusations of murder; an action from his wife spurs him on.
Threatening Sequence #6: Mike worked hard to make John give up his appeals and never be released to return to town.
Reveal #14.1: Helen Roberts’s identify finally surfaces and she is sent home.
Reveal #14.2: The truth is finally revealed; John is released after 8 years and successfully sues the state penitentiary for wrongful incarceration.
Reveal #14.3: John Roberts is released and he has to face Mike Deans and the townspeople that had him convicted wrongfully.
Clue #5 (Covert): John’s reaction to being found not guilty, released and receiving a good settlement for wrongful incarceration. He buys the property right beside park that Helen disappeared in.
TRUST: Helen (red-herring) had kept writing letters for some reason.
DISTRUST: Helen is not sure who she can trust in the asylum with her letters.
Mystery Sequence #6: How will John react if or when Helen resurfaces?
Reveal #15.1: John Dean accepts his wife’s strange disappearance and they return to living together as husband and wife.
Reveal #15.2: John Dean’s reaction when his daughter returns and John Roberts is freed.
Reveal #15.3: John Roberts’s decision to take revenge for losing 8 years of his life?
Twist #12:
Direction: John Roberts discovers in an argument that his wife was only “faking her mental illness” to get back at John for his “beastly behaviour” and that she has watched her mother’s behaviour since childhood and simply copied that behaviour.
Twist: John plans for over two years on how he will rid himself of this troublesome wife that took 8 years of his life away and has no remorse whatsoever for her behaviour.
TRUST: At first, John accepts his wife’s “mental illness” as the excuse for her disappearance.
DISTRUST: When she finally reveals that she had only been “faking it” to get away from him and that town, he loses all trust in her and starts planning his revenge.
Villain’s Plan (Intrigue) #6: Mike Deans fear once his daughter returns and she and John are reunited.
Reveal #16.1: Mike Deans wronged John Roberts and never explains or apologizes for misjudging him.
Reveal #16.2: John Deans keeps a close eye on his daughter daily and his son-in-law.
Reveal #16.3: John Deans keeps waiting to see what John Roberts will do about his participation in having him incarcerated wrongfully.
Reveal #16.4: How John Roberts takes his revenge successfully.
TRUST: Mike Deans continues to believe that his daughter has the same illness as his wife, but on occasion wonders about it.
DISTRUST: Mike Deans keeps a close eye on his son-in-law in case he finds out that his daughter has disappeared before and that she may not be suffering from any mental illness.
Twist #13:
Direction: John Roberts successfully rids himself of his lying and cheating wife once and for all without anyone being the wiser.
Twist: Incarceration has taught John patience and he plans his actions over the course of two years, as nothing has changed since his wife returned.
TRUST: John gains everyone’s’ trust after he is released and receives a nice sum of money to set up his own law firm and buy a nice new house next to the park and woods where Helen disappeared.
DISTRUST: He quietly plots his successful revenge towards his cheating and lying wife who cost him 8 years of his life. He is also able to pay back his father-in-law at the same time he takes his revenge.
Twist #14:
Direction: Mike keeps daily tabs on both his daughter and his son-in-law.
Twist: Mike Deans has no way of knowing whether Helen disappears on her own, or not, and they will not charge him with the same crime again.
TRUST: Mike Deans trusts that all is going well now that his daughter has returned and is living in good style with her husband who has been released for being wrongfully incarcerated for 8 years.
DISTRUST: His entire secret never surfaces, but he keeps close tabs on is daughter in case she gets the notion to disappear again.
He’s not sure if he can trust his son-in-law but has no choice at this stage.
Reveal #16: John Roberts takes his successful revenge on his wife and his father-in-law.
Clue #6 (Overt): How does John Roberts exact his revenge on Helen and Mike Deans?
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Subject Line: Agnes Gives Great Clues
“What I learned doing this assignment is that while you want the suspense to keep people interested in your story, you cannot give away too much detail or the mystery becomes too easy to solve and then becomes too boring. It needs the right amount of balance to keep the audience engaged.”
1. Four main mysteries in my story.
1. Is Helen Roberts mentally ill like her mother?
2. What are Mike Deans’ secrets?
3. What really happened to Molly Deans?
4. How does John Roberts exact his revenge on Helen and Mike Deans?
2. List of clues for each of the main mysteries in my story.
1. Is Helen mentally ill or faking her mental illness?
2. Why isn’t Mike Deans looking for his daughter?
3. Mike Deans already knows that his daughter is not dead because she has disappeared on two previous occasions.
4. How did Mike Deans contribute to his wife’s mental illness?
5. Why are they so quick to sentence John Roberts to killing his wife? (omitted)
6. How does Helen get locked up in an asylum? (omitted)
7. Why is the asylum unable to establish Helen’s identity? (omitted)
8. John’s reaction to being found not guilty, released and receiving a good settlement for wrongful incarceration.
9. John’s careful plans for revenge against his wife and father-in-law.
Thriller Map
Twist #1:
Direction: Wife Helen Deans pushes for quick marriage with high school sweetheart, John Roberts, even though he is not ready for marriage.
Twist: She arranges a job for him at her father’s bank. But within 3 months she is tired of his “beastly” behaviour of wanting relations and not happy with married life at all.
TRUST: Hero (John Roberts’s trusts his wife, Helen Deans plans to marry and work for her father.
DISTRUST: Wife is quickly unhappy with marriage but John tolerates her behaviour.
OPENING: A troubled wife goes missing suddenly during a daytime picnic.
Twist #2:
Direction: Helen Roberts disappears suddenly without a trace.
Twist: No one sees her disappear.
TRUST: Hero trusts wife and father-in-law.
DISTRUST: Father-in-law is quick to blame hero once his daughter disappears mysteriously.
Life Threatening Sequence #1: Helen faces a life threatening situation and as to what made her go missing. No one can remember seeing her go missing from the picnic, least of all her own husband, who worked late at the bank. Helen vanished into thin air.
TRUST: John trusted his wife and father-in-law.
DISTRUST: John no longer trusts his father-in-law and has no idea what happened to his wife.
Mystery Sequence #1: Is Helen mentally ill? Does she suffer from the same mental illness her mother suffers from? Why is no one able to help her find out her identity?
Reveal #1: Helen Roberts disappears without a trace.
Clue #1 (Overt): Is Helen mentally ill (or faking her mental illness?)
Twist #3:
Direction: Does Helen suffer mental illness like her mother?
Twist: Is Helen mentally ill or faking it?
TRUST: Hero trusts wife but she suddenly disappears and he is blamed for her disappearance.
DISTRUST: Hero loses trust in his father-in-law and the justice system that quickly condemns him for her disappearance.
Villain’s Plan (Intrigue) #1: Father is not searching for his daughter immediately knowing she has done this on two previous occasions. He is more intent on removing the unwanted and unpopular son-in-law, John Roberts from his business forever, whatever it takes.
Reveal #2: Mike Deans is not in a hurry to find his daughter.
Clue #2 (Covert): Why isn’t Mike Deans looking for his daughter?
Twist #4:
Direction: Mike Deans is hiding a big secret he does not want revealed that could destroy his career and standing in the community.
Twist: Mike Deans is willing to do to cover up his secret whatever it takes.
TRUST: Father-in-law (villain) trusts son-in-law, lets him marry his daughter and gives him a job.
DISTRUST: Villain father-in-law knows of his daughters’ disappearing acts, but lets his son-in-law take the blame for his daughter’s sudden disappearance.
INCITING INCIDENT: Hero is arrested for murder and causing her body to disappear as she is never found.
TRUST: Hero trusts the system as he knows that he did not murder or hurt his wife.
DISTRUST: Hero loses faith in the system once he is found guilty with no evidence and he is sentenced to 20 years for her murder.
Twist #5:
Direction: Mike Deans is quick to conclude that John Roberts, his son-in-law, somehow murdered and hid his daughter’s body, when he knows she has disappeared before.
Twist: Mike Deans is hiding a secret from the authorities and the townspeople.
TRUST: Hero trusts townspeople and jury to find him innocent.
DISTRUST: Hero loses all trust in townspeople and system once he is found guilty and sentenced without evidence.
Life Threatening Sequence #2: Mike Roberts felt guilty that their marriage was not working out after all the effort he had put into that relationship.
Mystery Sequence #2: Father (Mike Deans) is not actively looking for his daughter and prefers everyone believe she is dead?
Reveal #3: Mike Deans knows his daughter is not dead and lets his son-in-law get convicted for her death though no evidence is ever found.
Clue #3 (Covert): Mike Deans already knows that his daughter is not dead because she has disappeared on two previous occasions.
Twist #6:
Direction: Mike Deans suspects his daughter suffers from the same mental illness as his wife and that she has disappeared on two previous occasions and returned.
Twist: Mike Deans allows John Roberts to be blamed for her disappearance this time.
TRUST: The Villain, Mike Deans, is sure that they will find his son-in-law guilty and lock him up, despite knowing that his daughter has disappeared on previous occasions on her own.
DISTRUST: His dislike for his son-in-law makes him want to have him take the blame for her sudden disappearance and to get him out of his life.
Villain’s Plan (Intrigue) #2: John Deans is quick to accuse John Roberts of murdering and burying his daughter’s body in the nearby woods near the picnic area. He has a lot of sway with the authorities in the town.
Reveal #4: Mike Deans is hiding family secrets from the police and townspeople about his private life.
Twist #7:
Direction: No one listens to John Roberts when he proclaims his innocence and they quickly judge him as guilty.
Twist: John can find no allies to help him in his case and he is immediately judged as guilty.
TRUST: Deep down the Villain, Mike Deans knows that his daughter is safe and has just disappeared on her own.
DISTRUST: His hatred of his son-in-law, allows him to let his son-in-law take the blame instead of telling the truth about the family secret of mental illness.
TURNING POINT 1: John Roberts is quickly arrested, tried and convicted for the murder of his young new wife.
Twist #8:
Direction: John Roberts is judged quickly for the murder of his new wife, Mike Deans’ daughter, Helen.
Twist: The case against John Roberts is wrapped up very quickly.
TRUST: John trusts the system and the fact that there is no proof he did anything to his wife.
DISTRUST: John quickly realizes he has no allies to help prove his innocence and he is quickly found guilty with the help of his own father-in-law. John is betrayed by his own father-in-law and accused of murder.
Life Threatening Sequence #3: It’s more efficient to have John Roberts removed from his life permanently than for the town to find out that Mike Deans has some dark secrets that he doesn’t want anyone to know about his family and home life. If Mike Deans’ secret is revealed, it can affect both his reputation and his career in the small town.
Reveal #5: Molly Deans is suffering from a mental illness and but John Deans’ previous actions made her mentally ill.
Clue #4 (Overt): How did Mike Deans contribute to his wife’s mental illness?
Twist #9:
Direction: Mike Deans is hiding a secret from everyone that he wants this matter wrapped up quickly and John Roberts out of the way.
Twist: Mike Deans underestimates John Roberts’s resilience in fighting for justice.
TRUST: Mike Deans (Villain) feels secure that his secret will remain secret if his son-in-law is locked away for murder.
DISTRUST: He is not quite sure what he will do once his daughter resurfaces in the future.
Mystery Sequence #3: John Roberts is quickly arrested and accused and convicted for murder getting 20 years at a penitentiary.
Reveal #6: John Roberts is shockingly arrested, charged and quickly sentenced to 20 years for a murder without any evidence.
Villain’s Plan (Intrigue) #3: Mike Deans plans to keep John Roberts locked up for 20 years to get him out of his life.
Reveal #7.1: John Roberts knows about Mike Deans family secret through his wife, Helen Roberts.
Reveal #7.2: John Deans underestimates John Roberts’s ambition to achieve higher education and become a model prisoner and help other inmates successfully with their Appeals as he eventually gets all his qualifications as a lawyer.
Direction: Incarceration does not destroy John Roberts.
Twist: He makes good use of his time in prison.
TRUST: John never gives up on his proclaiming his innocence and decides to work within the system to prove his innocence, via appeals.
DISTRUST: John no longer trusts his father-in-law and after a while he no longer trusts his own wife and starts to forget about her.
MIDPOINT: We discover that John Deans’ wife, has been suffering with some form of a mental illness for years, and he has suspected that his own daughter is also suffering with the same mental illness, and she has disappeared before and then returned.
Threatening Sequence #4: Helen is lured away by a strange hitchhiker and seems to not remember her own name.
Helen leaving with a stranger can put her life in danger.
Her disappearance puts John Roberts in jail for murder, and in danger.
Twist #11:
Direction: Helen appears to be suffering from a mental illness or amnesia.
Twist: Is it learned behaviour or is she really mentally ill?
TRUST: Helen takes off with a complete stranger.
DISTRUST: Helen is no longer happy with her new boyfriend and starts the same mental health issues she had with her husband.
Mystery Sequence #4: Helen is locked up in an asylum by her boyfriend but Helen is writing letters everyday in the asylum.
Reveal #8: Helen writes letters and addresses envelopes daily, but no one can figure out who she is.
Villain’s Plan (Intrigue) #4: Mike Deans is taking his time in searching for his daughter till he’s retired and not sharing his previous experiences with authorities about his daughter’s previous disappearances.
Reveal #9: Mike Deans is not in any rush to find his daughter, but starts thinking about hiring a private investigator to find her.
Twist #12:
Direction: Mike Deans is in no rush to have his beloved daughter found.
Twist: Mike Deans loves his daughter and deep inside knows she just disappeared but is in no hurry to locate her.
TRUST: Mike Deans is satisfied that his daughter is probably fine and is glad to have his son-in-law locked away for a long time.
DISTRUST: He is more concerned with his position in town, than looking for his missing daughter and having his son-in-law released. He is concerned about what will happen once she does reappears and he is released.
TURNING POINT: Helen is alive but appears to be suffering from amnesia. She gets locked up in a state mental asylum far from home. She writes letters and envelopes every day and only one nurse assistant is interested in what she is doing. They do not know who she is.
Threatening Sequence #5: Mike Deans knows that his daughter will resurface and then there will have to be an explanations and possible consequences to face for having John wrongfully convicted.
Mike Deans works actively with the Chief of Police so that John is not released and the truth of the disappearance is never revealed as it would be bad for his reputation so he fights every appeal John makes, but worries what he will do if, and when, Helen surfaces.
Mystery Sequence #5: The asylum is unable to determine Helen’s identity.
Reveal #10: Helen’s identity remains a secret for quite a while.
Twist #13:
Direction: Mike Deans’ reaction once his daughter finally resurfaces.
Twist: John Roberts is released and reunited with his wife who has been missing for 8 years.
TRUST: John Roberts’s faith in the law is renewed and further he is successful in suing for wrongful imprisonment.
DISTRUST: He is no longer treated badly by the townspeople, but he has lost all trust in his father-in-law and his wife when she reappears.
Villain’s Plan (Intrigue) #5: Mike Deans believes his daughter is suffering from the same mental illness his wife has but has not shared that information with anyone.
Reveal #11: Mike Deans does not know that John Roberts knows his secret about his wife, Molly Deans, and why she is ill.
CLIMAX: Mike Deans knows that his son-in-law is innocent because Helen has disappeared and reappeared later on previous occasions, but wants to keep the secret of the mental illness in the family quiet for his reputation and career.
Threatening Sequence #5: Mike worked hard to make John give up all his appeals so that he will never be released to return to town.
Mystery Sequence #5: John Roberts becomes a model prisoner, and starts taking college studies to improve his chances for a better job later when he is released.
Reveal #12: John Roberts behaviour as a model prisoner surprises everyone, especially Mike Deans.
Villain’s Plan (Intrigue) #5: Mike Deans continues the cover-up of his daughter’s disappearance and lets John Roberts rot in jail.
Reveal #13: Mike Deans underestimates John Roberts’s ambition and ability to succeed in prison not only as a model prisoner, but as a scholar.
Twist #14:
Direction: John Roberts release and successful lawsuit against the state for wrongful imprisonment affects Mike Deans.
Twist: The changes in John Roberts’s financial situation once he receives a huge settlement for wrongful imprisonment.
TRUST: The hero regains his trust in the system and his life improves.
DISTRUST: He has no love for his father-in-law or his wife who has not changed at all. But he endures the situation for a few years.
RESOLUTION: Daughter is released and returns home to her small town and husband.
John Roberts is released immediately from prison.
John Roberts is a now successful lawyer who sues the state successfully for being wrongfully incarcerated and wins a large amount of money to set up his small law practice and buys a beautiful home back in his home town across from the very park where the original picnic and woods are located.
The townspeople now welcome him back and see that they had misjudged him.
John appears to live happily ever after with Helen but there are changes in their marriage arrangement.<sub></sub>
John seeks revenge for the years he lost for the false accusations of murder; an action from his wife spurs him on.
Threatening Sequence #6: Mike worked hard to make John give up his appeals and never be released to return to town.
Assistant nurse is the only one interested in figuring out what and to whom Helen is writing daily.
Reveal #14.1: Helen Roberts’s identify finally surfaces and she is sent home.
Reveal #14.2: The truth is finally revealed; John is released after 8 years and successfully sues the state penitentiary for wrongful incarceration.
Reveal #14.3: John Roberts is released and he has to face Mike Deans and the townspeople that had him convicted wrongfully.
Clue #5 (Covert): John’s reaction to being found not guilty, released and receiving a good settlement for wrongful incarceration. He buys the property right beside park that Helen disappeared in.
TRUST: Helen (red-herring) had kept writing letters for some reason.
DISTRUST: Helen is not sure who she can trust in the asylum with her letters.
Mystery Sequence #6: How will John react if or when Helen resurfaces?
Reveal #15.1: John Dean accepts his wife’s strange disappearance and they return to living together as husband and wife.
Reveal #15.2: John Dean’s reaction when his daughter returns and John Roberts is freed.
Reveal #15.3: John Roberts’s decision to take revenge for losing 8 years of his life?
Twist #15:
Direction: John Roberts discovers in an argument that his wife was only “faking her mental illness” to get back at John for his “beastly behaviour” and that she has watched her mother’s behaviour since childhood and simply copied that behaviour.
Twist: John plans for over two years on how he will rid himself of this troublesome wife that took 8 years of his life away and has no remorse whatsoever for her behaviour.
TRUST: At first, John accepts his wife’s “mental illness” as the excuse for her disappearance.
DISTRUST: When she finally reveals that she had only been “faking it” to get away from him and that town, he loses all trust in her and starts planning his revenge.
Villain’s Plan (Intrigue) #6: Mike Deans fear once his daughter returns and she and John are reunited.
Reveal #16.1: Mike Deans wronged John Roberts and never explains or apologizes for misjudging him.
Reveal #16.2: John Deans keeps a close eye on his daughter daily and his son-in-law.
Reveal #16.3: John Deans keeps waiting to see what John Roberts will do about his participation in having him incarcerated wrongfully.
Reveal #16.4: How John Roberts takes his revenge successfully.
TRUST: Mike Deans continues to believe that his daughter has the same illness as his wife, but on occasion wonders about it.
DISTRUST: Mike Deans keeps a close eye on his son-in-law in case he finds out that his daughter has disappeared before and that she may not be suffering from any mental illness.
Twist #16:
Direction: John Roberts successfully rids himself of his lying and cheating wife once and for all without anyone being the wiser.
Twist: Incarceration has taught John patience and he plans his actions over the course of two years, as nothing has changed since his wife returned.
TRUST: John gains everyone’s’ trust after he is released and receives a nice sum of money to set up his own law firm and buy a nice new house near the park and woods.
DISTRUST: He quietly plots his successful revenge towards his cheating and lying wife who cost him 8 years of his life. He is also able to pay back his father-in-law at the same time he takes his revenge.
Twist #17:
Direction: Mike keeps daily tabs on both his daughter and his son-in-law.
Twist: Mike Deans has no way of knowing whether Helen disappears on her own, or not, and they will not charge him with the same crime again.
TRUST: Mike Deans trusts that all is going well now that his daughter has returned and is living in good style with her husband who has been released for being wrongfully incarcerated for 8 years.
DISTRUST: His entire secret never surfaces, but he keeps close tabs on is daughter in case she gets the notion to disappear again.
He’s not sure if he can trust his son-in-law but has no choice at this stage.
Reveal #16: John Roberts takes his successful revenge on his wife and his father-in-law.
Clue #6 (Overt): How does John Roberts exact his revenge on Helen and Mike Deans?
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Subject Line: Agnes’s Dramatic Reveals
“What I learned doing this assignment is that by constructing the Thriller Map, I am able to see my entire plot evolve, plus I am able to add more to my original plot as I go along filling in the various parts I am learning lesson by lesson.”
Twist #1:
Direction: Wife Helen Deans pushes for quick marriage with high school sweetheart, John Roberts, even though he is not ready for marriage.
Twist: She arranges a job for him at her father’s bank. But within 3 months she is tired of his “beastly” behaviour of wanting relations and not happy with married life at all.
TRUST: Hero (John Roberts’s trusts his wife, Helen Deans plans to marry and work for her father.
DISTRUST: Wife is quickly unhappy with marriage but John tolerates her behaviour.
OPENING: A troubled wife goes missing suddenly during a daytime picnic.
Twist #2:
Direction: Helen Roberts disappears suddenly without a trace.
Twist: No one sees her disappear.
TRUST: Hero trusts wife and father-in-law.
DISTRUST: Father-in-law is quick to blame hero once his daughter disappears mysteriously.
Life Threatening Sequence #1: Helen faces a life threatening situation and as to what made her go missing. No one can remember seeing her go missing from the picnic, least of all her own husband, who worked late at the bank. Helen vanished into thin air.
TRUST: John trusted his wife and father-in-law.
DISTRUST: John no longer trusts his father-in-law and has no idea what happened to his wife.
Mystery Sequence #1: Is Helen mentally ill? Does she suffer from the same mental illness her mother suffers from? Why is no one able to help her find out her identity?
Reveal #1: Helen Roberts disappears without a trace.
Twist #3:
Direction: Helen is mentally ill like her mother.
Twist: Is Helen mentally ill or faking it?
TRUST: Hero trusts wife but she suddenly disappears and he is blamed for her disappearance.
DISTRUST: Hero loses trust in his father-in-law and the justice system that quickly condemns him for her disappearance.
Villain’s Plan (Intrigue) #1: Father is not searching for his daughter immediately knowing she has done this on two previous occasions. He is more intent on removing the unwanted and unpopular son-in-law, John Roberts from his business forever, whatever it takes.
Reveal #2: Mike Deans is not in a hurry to find his daughter.
Twist #4:
Direction: Mike Deans is hiding a big secret he does not want revealed that could destroy his career and standing in the community.
Twist: Mike Deans is willing to go to cover up his secret whatever it takes.
TRUST: Father-in-law (villain) trusts son-in-law, lets him marry his daughter and gives him a job.
DISTRUST: Villain father-in-law knows of his daughters’ disappearing acts, but lets his son-in-law take the blame for his daughter’s sudden disappearance.
INCITING INCIDENT: Hero is arrested for murder and causing her body to disappear as she is never found.
TRUST: Hero trusts the system as he knows that he did not murder or hurt his wife.
DISTRUST: Hero loses faith in the system once he is found guilty with no evidence and he is sentenced to 20 years for her murder.
Twist #5:
Direction: Mike Deans is quick to conclude that John Roberts, his son-in-law, somehow murdered and hid his daughter’s body, when he knows she has disappeared before.
Twist: Mike Deans is hiding a secret from the authorities and the townspeople.
TRUST: Hero trusts townspeople and jury to find him innocent.
DISTRUST: Hero loses all trust in townspeople and system once he is found guilty and sentenced without evidence.
Life Threatening Sequence #2: Mike Roberts felt guilty that their marriage was not working out after all the effort he had put into that relationship.
Mystery Sequence #2: Father (Mike Deans) is not actively looking for his daughter and prefers everyone believe she is dead?
Reveal #3: Mike Deans knows his daughter is not dead and lets his son-in-law get convicted for her death though no evidence is ever found.
Twist #6:
Direction: Mike Deans suspects his daughter suffers from the same mental illness as his wife and that she has disappeared on two previous occasions and returned.
Twist: Mike Deans allows John Roberts to be blamed for her disappearance this time.
TRUST: The Villain, Mike Deans, is sure that they will find his son-in-law guilty and lock him up, despite knowing that his daughter has disappeared on previous occasions on her own.
DISTRUST: His dislike for his son-in-law makes him want to have him take the blame for her sudden disappearance and to get him out of his life.
Villain’s Plan (Intrigue) #2: John Deans is quick to accuse John Roberts of murdering and burying his daughter’s body in the nearby woods near the picnic area. He has a lot of sway with the authorities in the town.
Reveal #4: Mike Deans is hiding a family secret from the police and townspeople about his private life.
Twist #7:
Direction: No one listens to John Roberts when he proclaims his innocence and they quickly judge him as guilty.
Twist: John can find no allies to help him in his case and he is immediately judged as guilty.
TRUST: Deep down the Villain, Mike Deans knows that his daughter is safe and has just disappeared on her own.
DISTRUST: His hatred of his son-in-law, allows him to let his son-in-law take the blame instead of telling the truth about the family secret of mental illness.
TURNING POINT 1: John Roberts is quickly arrested, tried and convicted for the murder of his young new wife.
Twist #8:
Direction: John Roberts is judged quickly for the murder of his new wife, Mike Deans’ daughter, Helen.
Twist: The case against John Roberts is wrapped up very quickly.
TRUST: John trusts the system and the fact that there is no proof he did anything to his wife.
DISTRUST: John quickly realizes he has no allies to help prove his innocence and he is quickly found guilty with the help of his own father-in-law. John is betrayed by his own father-in-law and accused of murder.
Life Threatening Sequence #3: It’s more efficient to have John Roberts removed from his life permanently than for the town to find out that Mike Deans has some dark secrets that he doesn’t want anyone to know about his family and home life. If Mike Deans’ secret is revealed, it can affect both his reputation and his career in the small town.
Reveal #5: Molly Deans is suffering from a mental illness caused by John Deans previous actions.
Twist #9:
Direction: Mike Deans is hiding a secret from everyone that he wants this matter wrapped up quickly and John Roberts out of the way.
Twist: Mike Deans underestimates John Roberts’s resilience in fighting for justice.
TRUST: Mike Deans (Villain) feels secure that his secret will remain secret if his son-in-law is locked away for murder.
DISTRUST: He is not quite sure what he will do once his daughter resurfaces in the future.
Mystery Sequence #3: John Roberts is quickly arrested and accused and convicted for murder getting 20 years at a penitentiary.
Reveal #6: John Roberts is shockingly arrested, charged and quickly sentenced to 20 years for a murder without any evidence.
Villain’s Plan (Intrigue) #3: Mike Deans plans to keep John Roberts locked up for 20 years to get him out of his life.
Reveal #7.1: John Roberts knows about Mike Deans family secret through his wife, Helen Roberts.
Reveal #7.2: John Deans underestimates John Roberts’s ambition to achieve higher education and become a model prisoner and help other inmates successfully with their Appeals as he eventually gets all his qualifications as a lawyer.
Direction: Incarceration does not destroy John Roberts.
Twist: He makes good use of his time in prison.
TRUST: John never gives up on his proclaiming his innocence and decides to work within the system to prove his innocence, via appeals.
DISTRUST: John no longer trusts his father-in-law and after a while he no longer trusts his own wife and starts to forget about her.
MIDPOINT: We discover that John Deans’ wife, has been suffering with some form of a mental illness for years, and he has suspected that his own daughter is also suffering with the same mental illness, and she has disappeared before and then returned.
Threatening Sequence #4: Helen is lured away by a strange hitchhiker and seems to not remember her own name.
Helen leaving with a stranger can put her life in danger.
Her disappearance puts John Roberts in jail for murder, and in danger.
Twist #11:
Direction: Helen appears to be suffering from a mental illness or amnesia.
Twist: Is it learned behaviour or is she really mentally ill?
TRUST: Helen takes off with a complete stranger.
DISTRUST: Helen is no longer happy with her new boyfriend and starts the same mental health issues she had with her husband.
Mystery Sequence #4: Helen is locked up in an asylum by her boyfriend but Helen is writing letters everyday in the asylum
Reveal #8: Helen writes letters and addresses envelopes daily, but no one can figure out who she is.
Villain’s Plan (Intrigue) #4: Mike Deans is taking his time in searching for his daughter till he’s retired and not sharing his previous experiences with authorities about his daughter’s previous disappearances.
Reveal #9: Mike Deans is not in any rush to find his daughter, but starts thinking about hiring a private investigator to find her.
Twist #12:
Direction: Mike Deans is in no rush to have his beloved daughter found.
Twist: Mike Deans loves his daughter and deep inside knows she just disappeared but is in no hurry to locate her.
TRUST: Mike Deans is satisfied that his daughter is probably fine and is glad to have his son-in-law locked away for a long time.
DISTRUST: He is more concerned with his position in town, than looking for his missing daughter and having his son-in-law released. He is concerned about what will happen once she does reappears and he is released.
TURNING POINT: Helen is alive but appears to be suffering from amnesia. She gets locked up in a state mental asylum far from home. She writes letters and envelopes every day and only one nurse assistant is interested in what she is doing. They do not know who she is.
Threatening Sequence #5: Mike Deans knows that his daughter will resurface and then there will have to be an explanations and possible consequences to face for having John wrongfully convicted.
Mike Deans works actively with the Chief of Police so that John is not released and the truth of the disappearance is never revealed as it would be bad for his reputation so he fights every appeal John makes, but worries what he will do if, and when, Helen surfaces.
Mystery Sequence #5: The asylum is unable to determine Helen’s identity.
Reveal #10: Helen’s identity remains a secret for quite a while.
Twist #13:
Direction: Mike Deans’ reaction once his daughter finally resurfaces.
Twist: John Roberts is released and reunited with his wife who has been missing for 8 years.
TRUST: John Roberts’s faith in the law is renewed and further he is successful in suing for wrongful imprisonment.
DISTRUST: He is no longer treated badly by the townspeople, but he has lost all trust in his father-in-law and his wife when she reappears.
Villain’s Plan (Intrigue) #5: Mike Deans believes his daughter is suffering from the same mental illness his wife has but has not shared that information with anyone.
Reveal #11: Mike Deans does not know that John Roberts knows his secret about his wife, Molly Deans, and why she is ill.
CLIMAX: Mike Deans knows that his son-in-law is innocent because Helen has disappeared and reappeared later on previous occasions, but wants to keep the secret of the mental illness in the family quiet for his reputation and career.
Threatening Sequence #5: Mike worked hard to make John give up all his appeals so that he will never be released to return to town.
Mystery Sequence #5: John Roberts becomes a model prisoner, and starts taking college studies to improve his chances for a better job later when he is released.
Reveal #12: John Roberts behaviour as a model prisoner surprises everyone, especially Mike Deans.
Villain’s Plan (Intrigue) #5: Mike Deans continues the cover-up of his daughter’s disappearance and lets John Roberts rot in jail.
Reveal #13: Mike Deans underestimates John Roberts’s ambition and ability to succeed in prison not only as a model prisoner, but as a scholar.
Twist #14:
Direction: John Roberts release and successful lawsuit against the state for wrongful imprisonment affects Mike Deans.
Twist: The changes in John Roberts’s financial situation once he receives a huge settlement for wrongful imprisonment.
TRUST: The hero regains his trust in the system and his life improves.
DISTRUST: He has no love for his father-in-law or his wife who has not changed at all. But he endures the situation for a few years.
RESOLUTION: Daughter is released and returns home to her small town and husband.
John Roberts is released immediately from prison.
John Roberts is a now successful lawyer who sues the state successfully for being wrongfully incarcerated and wins a large amount of money to set up his small law practice and buys a beautiful home back in his home town across from the very park where the original picnic and woods are located.
The townspeople now welcome him back and see that they had misjudged him.
John appears to live happily ever after with Helen but there are changes in their marriage arrangement.<sub></sub>
John seeks revenge for the years he lost for the false accusations of murder; an action from his wife spurs him on.
Threatening Sequence #6: Mike worked hard to make John give up his appeals and never be released to return to town.
Assistant nurse is the only one interested in figuring out what and to whom Helen is writing daily.
Reveal #14.1: Helen Roberts’s identify finally surfaces and she is sent home.
Reveal #14.2: The truth is finally revealed; John is released after 8 years and successfully sues the state penitentiary for wrongful incarceration.
Reveal #14.3: John Roberts is released and he has to face Mike Deans and the townspeople that had him convicted wrongfully.
TRUST: Helen (red-herring) had kept writing letters for some reason.
DISTRUST: Helen is not sure who she can trust in the asylum with her letters.
Mystery Sequence #6: How will John react if or when Helen resurfaces?
Reveal #15.1: John Dean accepts his wife’s strange disappearance and they return to living together as husband and wife.
Reveal #15.2: John Dean’s reaction when his daughter returns and John Roberts is freed.
Reveal #15.3: John Roberts’s decision to take revenge for losing 8 years of his life?
Twist #15:
Direction: John Roberts discovers in an argument that his wife was only “faking her mental illness” to get back at John for his “beastly behaviour” and that she has watched her mother’s behaviour since childhood and simply copied that behaviour.
Twist: John plans for over two years on how he will rid himself of this troublesome wife that took 8 years of his life away and has no remorse whatsoever for her behaviour.
TRUST: At first, John accepts his wife’s “mental illness” as the excuse for her disappearance.
DISTRUST: When she finally reveals that she had only been “faking it” to get away from him and that town, he loses all trust in her and starts planning his revenge.
Villain’s Plan (Intrigue) #6: Mike Deans fear once his daughter returns and she and John are reunited.
Reveal #16.1: Mike Deans wronged John Roberts and never explains or apologizes for misjudging him.
Reveal #16.2: John Deans keeps a close eye on his daughter daily and his son-in-law.
Reveal #16.3: John Deans keeps waiting to see what John Roberts will do about his participation in having him incarcerated wrongfully.
Reveal #16.4: How John Roberts takes his revenge successfully.
TRUST: Mike Deans continues to believe that his daughter has the same illness as his wife, but on occasion wonders about it.
DISTRUST: Mike Deans keeps a close eye on his son-in-law in case he finds out that his daughter has disappeared before and that she may not be suffering from any mental illness.
Twist #16:
Direction: John Roberts successfully rids himself of his lying and cheating wife once and for all without anyone being the wiser.
Twist: Incarceration has taught John patience and he plans his actions over the course of two years, as nothing has changed since his wife returned.
TRUST: John gains everyone’s’ trust after he is released and receives a nice sum of money to set up his own law firm and buy a nice new house near the park and woods.
DISTRUST: He quietly plots his successful revenge towards his cheating and lying wife who cost him 8 years of his life. He is also able to pay back his father-in-law at the same time he takes his revenge.
Twist #17:
Direction: Mike keeps daily tabs on both his daughter and his son-in-law.
Twist: Mike Deans has no way of knowing whether Helen disappears on her own, or not, and they will not charge him with the same crime again.
TRUST: Mike Deans trusts that all is going well now that his daughter has returned and is living in good style with her husband who has been released for being wrongfully incarcerated for 8 years.
DISTRUST: His entire secret never surfaces, but he keeps close tabs on is daughter in case she gets the notion to disappear again.
He’s not sure if he can trust his son-in-law but has no choice at this stage.
Reveal #16: John Roberts takes his successful revenge on his wife and his father-in-law.
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Subject Line: Agnes’s Trust Relationships
“What I learned doing this assignment is that there are many trust and distrusts in this particular relationship especially between the three main characters, the Hero, Villain, and Red-Herring. It also shows the betrayal that the hero faces from both the Villain and the Red Herring. There’s still more to be fleshed out as the story progresses, and some repetitions will need to be removed.”
Twist #1:
Direction: Wife Helen Deans pushes for quick marriage with high school sweetheart, John Roberts, even though he is not ready for marriage.
Twist: She arranges a job for him at her father’s bank. But within 3 months she is tired of his “beastly” behaviour of wanting relations and not happy with married life at all.
TRUST: Hero (John Roberts trusts his girlfriend Helen Deans plans to marry and work for her father.
DISTRUST: Wife is quickly unhappy with marriage.
OPENING: A troubled wife goes missing suddenly during a daytime picnic.
Twist #2:
Direction: Helen Roberts disappears suddenly without a trace.
Twist: No one sees her disappear.
TRUST: Hero trusts wife and father-in-law.
DISTRUST: Father-in-law is quick to blame hero once his daughter disappears mysteriously.
Life Threatening Sequence #1: Helen faces a life threatening situation and as to what made her go missing. No one can remember seeing her go missing from the picnic, least of all her own husband, who worked late at the bank. Helen vanished into thin air.
TRUST: John trusted his wife and father-in-law.
DISTRUST: John no longer trusts his father-in-law and has no idea what happened to his wife.
Mystery Sequence #1: Is Helen mentally ill? Does she suffer from the same mental illness her mother suffers from? Why is no one able to help her find out her identity?
Twist #3:
Direction: Helen is mentally ill like her mother.
Twist: Is Helen mentally ill or faking it?
TRUST: Hero trusted wife but she suddenly disappears and he is blamed for her disappearance.
DISTRUST: Hero loses trust in his father-in-law and the justice system that quickly condemns him for her disappearance.
Villain’s Plan (Intrigue) #1: Why is her father not searching for her immediately knowing she has done this on two previous occasions. He is more intent on removing the unwanted and unpopular son-in-law, John Roberts from his business forever, whatever it takes.
Twist #4:
Direction: Mike Deans is hiding a big secret he does not want revealed that could destroy his career and standing in the community.
Twist: How far is Mike Deans willing to go to cover up his secret?
TRUST: Father-in-law (villain) trusts son-in-law, lets him marry his daughter and gives him a job.
DISTRUST: Villain father-in-law knows of his daughters’ disappearing acts, but lets his son-in-law take the blame for his daughter’s sudden disappearance.
INCITING INCIDENT: Hero’s arrested for murder and causing her body to disappear as she is never found.
TRUST: Hero trusts the system as he knows that he did not murder or hurt his wife.
DISTRUST: Hero loses faith in the system once he is found guilty with no evidence and he is sentenced to 20 years for her murder.
Twist #5:
Direction: Mike Deans is quick to conclude that John Roberts, his son-in-law, somehow murdered and hid his daughter’s body, when he knows she has disappeared before.
Twist: What secret is Mike Deans hiding from the authorities and the townspeople?
TRUST: Hero trusts townspeople and jury to find him innocent.
DISTRUST: Hero loses all trust in townspeople and system once he is found guilty and sentenced without evidence.
Life Threatening Sequence #2: Mike Roberts felt guilty that their marriage was not working out after all the effort he had put into that relationship.
Mystery Sequence #2: Why is her father (Mike Deans) not actively looking for her? Why does he prefer to let everyone believe she is dead?
Twist #6:
Direction: Mike Deans suspects his daughter suffers from the same mental illness as his wife and that she has disappeared on two previous occasions and returned.
Twist: Mike Deans allows John Roberts to be blamed for her disappearance this time.
TRUST: The Villain, Mike Deans, is sure that they will find his son-in-law guilty and lock him up, despite knowing that his daughter has disappeared on previous occasions on her own.
DISTRUST: His dislike for his son-in-law makes him want to have him take the blame for her sudden disappearance and to get him out of his life.
Villain’s Plan (Intrigue) #2: John Deans is quick to accuse John Roberts of murdering and burying his daughter’s body in the nearby woods near the picnic area. He has a lot of sway with the authorities in the town.
Twist #7:
Direction: No one listens to John Roberts when he proclaims his innocence and they quickly judge him as guilty.
Twist: John can find no allies to help him in his case and he is immediately judged as guilty.
TRUST: Deep down the Villain, Mike Deans knows that his daughter is safe and has just disappeared on her own.
DISTRUST: His hatred of his son-in-law, allows him to let his son-in-law take the blame instead of telling the truth about the family secret of mental illness.
TURNING POINT 1: John Roberts is quickly arrested, tried and convicted for the murder of his young new wife.
Twist #8:
Direction: John Roberts is judged quickly for the murder of his new wife, Mike Deans’ daughter, Helen.
Twist: The case against John Roberts is wrapped up very quickly.
TRUST: John trusts the system and the fact that there is no proof he did anything to his wife.
DISTRUST: John quickly realizes he has no allies to help prove his innocence and he is quickly found guilty with the help of his own father-in-law. John is betrayed by his own father-in-law and accused of murder.
Life Threatening Sequence #3: It’s more efficient to have John Roberts removed from his life permanently than for the town to find out that Mike Deans has some dark secrets that he doesn’t want anyone to know about his family and home life. If Mike Deans’ secret is revealed, it can affect both his reputation and his career in the small town.
Twist #9:
Direction: Mike Deans is hiding a secret from everyone that he wants this matter wrapped up quickly and John Roberts out of the way.
Twist: Mike Deans underestimates John Roberts’s resilience in fighting for justice.
TRUST: Mike Deans (Villain) feels secure that his secret will remain secret if his son-in-law is locked away for murder.
DISTRUST: He is not quite sure what he will do once his daughter resurfaces in the future.
Mystery Sequence #3: John Roberts is quickly arrested and accused and convicted for murder getting 20 years at a penitentiary.
Villain’s Plan (Intrigue) #3: Mike Deans plans to keep John Roberts locked up for 20 years to get him out of his life.
He underestimates John Roberts’s ambition to achieve higher education and become a model prisoner and help other inmates successfully with their Appeals as he eventually gets all his qualifications as a lawyer.
Twist #10:
Direction: Incarceration does not destroy John Roberts.
Twist: He makes good use of his time in prison.
TRUST: John never gives up on his proclaiming his innocence and decides to work within the system to prove his innocence, via appeals.
DISTRUST: John no longer trusts his father-in-law and after a while he no longer trusts his own wife and starts to forget about her.
MIDPOINT: We discover that John Deans’ wife, has been suffering with a mental illness for years, and he has suspected that his own daughter is also suffering with the same mental illness, and she has disappeared before and then returned.
Threatening Sequence #4: Helen is lured away by a strange hitchhiker and seems to not remember her own name.
Helen leaving with a stranger can put her life in danger.
Her disappearance puts John Roberts in jail for murder, and in danger.
Twist #11:
Direction: Helen appears to be suffering from a mental illness.
Twist: Is it learned behaviour or is she really mentally ill?
TRUST: Helen takes off with a complete stranger.
DISTRUST: Helen is no longer happy with her new fellow and starts the same routine she had with her husband.
Mystery Sequence #4: Who is Helen writing to everyday in the asylum and why?
Villain’s Plan (Intrigue) #4: Mike Deans is taking his time in searching for his daughter till he’s retired and not sharing his previous experiences with authorities about his daughter’s previous disappearances.
Twist #12:
Direction: Mike Deans is in no rush to have his beloved daughter found.
Twist: Mike Deans loves his daughter and deep inside knows she just disappeared but is in no hurry to locate her.
TRUST: Mike Deans is satisfied that his daughter is probably fine and is glad to have his son-in-law locked away for a long time.
DISTRUST: He is more concerned with his position in town, than looking for his missing daughter and having his son-in-law released. He is concerned about what will happen once she does reappear and he is released.
TURNING POINT: Helen is alive but appears to be suffering from amnesia. She gets locked up in a state mental asylum far from home. She writes letters and envelopes every day and only one nurse assistant is interested in what she is doing. They do not know who she is.
Threatening Sequence #5: Mike Deans; knows that his daughter will resurface and then there will have to be explanations and possible consequences to face for having John wrongfully convicted.
Mike Deans works actively with the Chief of Police so that John is not released and the truth of the disappearance is never revealed as it would be bad for his reputation so he fights every appeal John makes, but worries what he will do if, and when, Helen surfaces.
Mystery Sequence #5: No one in the asylum is able to help her find out her identity.
Twist #13:
Direction: Mike Deans’ reaction once his daughter finally resurfaces.
Twist: John Roberts is released and reunited with his wife who has been missing for 8 years.
TRUST: John Deans faith in the law is renewed and further he is successful in suing for wrongful imprisonment.
DISTRUST: He is no longer treated badly by the townspeople, but he has lost all trust in his father-in-law and his wife when she reappears.
Villain’s Plan (Intrigue) #5: Mike Deans believes his daughter is suffering from the same mental illness his wife has but has not shared that information with anyone.
CLIMAX: Mike Deans knows that his son-in-law is innocent because she has disappeared and reappeared later on previous occasions, but wants to keep the secret of the mental illness in the family quiet for his reputation and career.
Threatening Sequence #5: Mike worked hard to make John give up all his appeals and never be released to return to town.
Mystery Sequence #5: John Roberts becomes a model prisoner, and starts taking college studies to improve his chances for a better job later when he is released.
Villain’s Plan (Intrigue) #5: Mike Deans continues the cover-up of his daughter’s disappearance and lets John Roberts rot in jail.
Twist #14:
Direction: John Roberts release and successful lawsuit against the state for wrongful imprisonment affects Mike Deans.
Twist: The changes in John Roberts’s financial situation once he receives a huge settlement for wrongful imprisonment.
TRUST: The hero regains his trust in the system and his life improves.
DISTRUST: He has no love for his father-in-law or his wife who has not changed at all. But he endures the situation for a few years.
RESOLUTION: Daughter is released and returns home to her small town.
John Roberts is released immediately from prison.
John Roberts is a now successful lawyer who sues the state successfully for being wrongfully incarcerated and wins a large amount of money to set up his small law practice and buys a beautiful home back in his home town across from the very park where the original picnic and woods are located.
The townspeople now welcome him back and see that they had misjudged him.
John appears to live happily ever after with Helen but there are changes in their marriage arrangement.<sub></sub>
John seeks revenge for the years he lost for the false accusations of murder, but what action spurs him on?
Mike Deans’ reaction to John Roberts returns to his town and the family secret?
Threatening Sequence #6: Mike is working hard to make John give up all his appeals and never be released to return to town.
Helen is writing letters every day in the asylum.
Assistant nurse is the only one interested in figuring out what and to whom Helen is writing daily.
The truth is finally revealed; John is released after 8 years and successfully sues the state penitentiary.
If and when he is released, how will he face Mike Deans and the townspeople that had him convicted wrongfully?
TRUST: Helen (red-herring) keeps writing letters for some reason.
DISTRUST: Helen is not sure who she can trust in the asylum with her letters.
Mystery Sequence #6: How will John react if or when Helen resurfaces?
How will her father react if she returns, and John Roberts is freed?
What will it take for John Roberts to want to take revenge for losing 8 years of his life?
Twist #15:
Direction: John Roberts discovers in an argument that his wife was only “faking her mental illness” to get back at John for his “beastly behaviour” and that she has watched her mother’s behaviour since childhood and simply copied that behaviour.
Twist: John plans for over two years on how he will rid himself of this troublesome wife that took 8 years of his life away and has no remorse whatsoever for her behaviour.
TRUST: At first, John accepts his wife’s “mental illness” as the excuse for her disappearance.
DISTRUST: When she finally reveals that she had only been “faking it” to get away from him and that town, he loses all trust in her and starts planning his revenge.
Villain’s Plan (Intrigue) #6: What is Mike Deans biggest fear once his daughter and John are reunited and how will he mitigate the situation?
John Deans keeps a close eye on his daughter daily and his son-in-law.
John Deans keeps waiting to see what John Roberts will do about his participation in having him incarcerated wrongfully.
What incident does it take for John Roberts to take his revenge successfully?
TRUST: Mike Deans continues to believe that his daughter has the same illness as his wife, but on occasion wonders about it.
DISTRUST: Mike Deans keeps a close eye on his son-in-law in case he finds out that his daughter has disappeared before and that she may not be suffering from any mental illness.
Twist #16:
Direction: John Roberts successfully rids himself of his lying and cheating wife once and for all without anyone being the wiser.
Twist: Incarceration has taught John patience and he plans his actions over the course of two years, as nothing has changed since his wife returned.
TRUST: John gains everyone’s’ trust after he is released and receives a nice sum of money to set up his own law firm and buy a nice new house near the park and woods.
DISTRUST: He quietly plots his successful revenge towards his cheating and lying wife who cost him 8 years of his life. He is also able to pay back his father-in-law at the same time he takes his revenge.
Twist #17:
Direction: Mike keeps daily tabs on both his daughter and his son-in-law
Twist: Mike Deans has no way of knowing whether Helen disappeared on her own, or not, and they will not charge him with the same crime again.
TRUST: Mike Deans trusts that all is going well now that his daughter has returned and living in good style with her husband who has been released for being wrongfully incarcerated for 8 years.
DISTRUST: His entire secret never surfaces, but he keeps close tabs on is daughter in case she gets the notion to disappear again.
He’s not sure if he can trust his son-in-law but has no choice at this stage.
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Subject Line: Agnes’s Twists and Turns
“What I learned doing this assignment is that some of the twists and turns can appear repetitive of the other parts already listed. So work needs to be done to remove repetitious sections to make the plot line flow more smoothly. But, it helps to start to see the plot of the story more clearly with the twists and turns.
STRUCTURE: Using SYD FIELD’s technique
Twist #1:
· Direction: Wife Helen Deans pushes for quick marriage with high school sweetheart, John Roberts, even though he is not ready for marriage.
· Twist: She arranges a job for him at her father’s bank. But within 3 months she is tired of his “beastly” behaviour of wanting relations and not happy with married life at all.
· OPENING: A troubled wife goes missing suddenly during a daytime picnic.
Twist #2:
· Direction: Helen Roberts disappears suddenly without a trace.
· Twist: No one sees her disappear.
Life Threatening Sequence #1: Helen faces a life threatening situation and as to what made her go missing. No one can remember seeing her go missing from the picnic, least of all her own husband, who worked late at the bank. Helen vanished into thin air.
Mystery Sequence #1: Is Helen mentally ill? Does she suffer from the same mental illness her mother suffers from? Why is no one able to help her find out her identity?
Twist #3:
· Direction: Helen is mentally ill like her mother.
· Twist: Is Helen mentally ill or faking it?
Villain’s Plan (Intrigue) #1: Why is her father not searching for her immediately knowing she has done this on two previous occasions. He is more intent on removing the unwanted and unpopular son-in-law, John Roberts from his business forever, whatever it takes.
Twist #4:
· Direction: Mike Deans is hiding a big secret he does not want revealed that could destroy his career and standing in the community.
· Twist: How far is Mike Deans willing to go to cover up his secret?
· INCITING INCIDENT: Hero’s arrested for murder and causing her body to disappear as she is never found.
Twist #5:
· Direction: Mike Deans is quick to conclude that John Roberts, his son-in-law, somehow murdered and hid his daughter’s body, when he knows she has disappeared before.
· Twist: What secret is Mike Deans hiding from the authorities and the townspeople?
Life Threatening Sequence #2: Mike Roberts felt guilty that their marriage was not working out after all the effort he had put into that relationship.
Mystery Sequence #2: Why is her father (Mike Deans) not actively looking for her? Why does he prefer to let everyone believe she is dead?
Twist #6:
· Direction: Mike Deans suspects his daughter suffers from the same mental illness as his wife and that she has disappeared on two previous occasions and returned.
· Twist: Mike Deans allows John Roberts to be blamed for her disappearance this time.
Villain’s Plan (Intrigue) #2: John Deans is quick to accuse John Roberts of murdering and burying his daughter’s body in the nearby woods near the picnic area. He has a lot of sway with the authorities in the town.
Twist #7:
· Direction: No one listens to John Roberts when he proclaims his innocence and they quickly judge him as guilty.
· Twist: John can find no allies to help him in his case and he is immediately judged as guilty.
· TURNING POINT 1: John Roberts is quickly arrested, tried and convicted for the murder of his young new wife.
Twist #8:
· Direction: John Roberts is judged quickly for the murder of his new wife, Mike Deans’ daughter, Helen.
· Twist: The case against John Roberts is wrapped up very quickly.
Life Threatening Sequence #3: It’s more efficient to have John Roberts removed from his life permanently than for the town to find out that Mike Deans has some dark secrets that he doesn’t want anyone to know about his family and home life. If Mike Deans’ secret is revealed, it can affect both his reputation and his career in the small town.
John is betrayed by his own father-in-law and accused of murder.
Twist #9:
· Direction: Mike Deans is hiding a secret from everyone that he wants this matter wrapped up quickly and John Roberts out of the way.
· Twist: Mike Deans underestimates John Roberts’s resilience in fighting for justice.
Mystery Sequence #3: John Roberts is quickly arrested and accused and convicted for murder getting 20 years at a penitentiary.
Villain’s Plan (Intrigue) #3: Mike Deans plans to keep John Roberts locked up for 20 years to get him out of his life.
He underestimates John Roberts’s ambition to achieve higher education and become a model prisoner and help other inmates successfully with their Appeals as he eventually gets all his qualifications as a lawyer.
Twist #10:
· Direction: Incarceration does not destroy John Roberts.
· Twist: He makes good use of his time in prison.
· MIDPOINT: We discover that John Deans’ wife, has been suffering with a mental illness for years, and he has suspected that his own daughter is also suffering with the same mental illness, and she has disappeared before and then returned.
Threatening Sequence #4: Helen is lured away by a strange hitchhiker and seems to not remember her own name.
Helen leaving with a stranger can put her life in danger.
Her disappearance puts John Roberts in jail for murder, and in danger.
Twist #11:
· Direction: Helen appears to be suffering from a mental illness.
· Twist: Is it learned behaviour or is she really mentally ill?
Mystery Sequence #4: Who is Helen writing to everyday in the asylum and why?
Villain’s Plan (Intrigue) #4: Mike Deans is taking his time in searching for his daughter till he’s retired and not sharing his previous experiences with authorities about his daughter’s previous disappearances.
Twist #12:
· Direction: Mike Deans is in no rush to have his beloved daughter found.
· Twist: Mike Deans loves his daughter and deep inside knows she just disappeared but is in no hurry to locate her.
· TURNING POINT: Helen is alive but appears to be suffering from amnesia. She gets locked up in a state mental asylum far from home. She writes letters and envelopes every day and only one nurse assistant is interested in what she is doing. They do not know who she is.
Threatening Sequence #5: Mike Deans; knows that his daughter will resurface and then there will have to be explanations and possible consequences to face for having John wrongfully convicted.
Mike Deans works actively with the Chief of Police so that John is not released and the truth of the disappearance is never revealed as it would be bad for his reputation so he fights every appeal John makes, but worries what he will do if, and when, Helen surfaces.
Mystery Sequence #5: No one in the asylum is able to help her find out her identity.
Twist #13:
· Direction: Mike Deans’ reaction once his daughter finally resurfaces.
· Twist: John Roberts is released and reunited with his wife who has been missing for 8 years.
Villain’s Plan (Intrigue) #5: Mike Deans believes his daughter is suffering from the same mental illness his wife has but has not shared that information with anyone.
· CLIMAX: Mike Deans knows that his son-in-law is innocent because she has disappeared and reappeared later on previous occasions, but wants to keep the secret of the mental illness in the family quiet for his reputation and career.
Threatening Sequence #5: Mike is working hard to make John give up all his appeals and never be released to return to town.
Mystery Sequence #5: John Roberts becomes a model prisoner, and starts taking college studies to improve his chances for a better job later when he is released.
Villain’s Plan (Ingtrigue) #5: Mike Deans continues the cover-up of his daughter’s disappearance and lets John Roberts rot in jail.
Twist #14:
· Direction: John Roberts release and successful lawsuit against the state for wrongful imprisonment affects Mike Deans.
· Twist: The changes in John Roberts’s financial situation once he receives a huge settlement for wrongful imprisonment.
· RESOLUTION: Daughter is released and returns home to her small town.
John Roberts is released immediately from prison.
John Roberts is a now successful lawyer who sues the state successfully for being wrongfully incarcerated and wins a large amount of money to set up his small law practice and buys a beautiful home back in his home town across from the very park where the original picnic and woods are located.
The townspeople now welcome him back and see that they had misjudged him.
John appears to live happily ever after with Helen but there are changes in their marriage arrangement.<sub></sub>
John seeks revenge for the years he lost for the false accusations of murder, but what action spurs him on.
Mike Deans’ reaction to John Roberts returns to his town and the family secret?
Threatening Sequence #6: Mike is working hard to make John give up all his appeals and never be released to return to town.
Helen is writing letters every day in the asylum.
Assistant nurse is the only one interested in figuring out what and to whom Helen is writing daily.
The truth is finally revealed; John is released after 8 years and successfully sues the state penitentiary.
If and when he is released, how will he face Mike Deans and the townspeople that had him convicted wrongfully?
Mystery Sequence #6: How will John react if or when Helen resurfaces?
How will her father react if she returns, and John Roberts is freed?
What will it take for John Roberts to want to take revenge for losing 8 years of his life?
Twist #15:
· Direction: John Roberts discovers in an argument that his wife was only “faking her mental illness” to get back at John for his “beastly behaviour” and that she has watched her mother’s behaviour since childhood and simply copied that behaviour.
· Twist: John plans for over two years on how he will rid himself of this troublesome wife that took 8 years of his life away and has no remorse whatsoever for her behaviour.
Villain’s Plan (Intrigue) #6: What is Mike Deans biggest fear once his daughter and John are reunited and how will he mitigate the situation.
John Deans keeps a close eye on his daughter daily and his son-in-law.
John Deans keeps waiting to see what John Roberts will do about his participation in having him incarcerated wrongfully.
What incident does it take for John Roberts to take his revenge successfully?
Twist #16:
· Direction: John Roberts successfully rids himself of his lying and cheating wife once and for all without anyone being the wiser.
· Twist: Incarceration has taught John patience and he plans his actions over the course of two years, as nothing has changed since his wife returned.
Twist #17:
· Direction: Mike keeps daily tabs on both his daughter and his son-in-law
· Twist: Mike Deans has no way of knowing whether Helen disappeared on her own, or not, and they will not charge him with the same crime again.
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Agnes’s Life Threatening Sequence
What I learned is that there are many aspects to consider for the Suspense sequence, depending on the thriller you are trying to write. Some work better than others. Some may be useful later in the actual writing of the full story. It will depend on how the entire story unfolds. Some parts may have to be changed or removed entirely. But in order to create the suspense many aspects need to be considered for this area of the writing.
Creating your Life Threatening Sequence
1. What is the Villain’s plan and how does that put the Hero in danger?
· The Villain has secrets he does not want anyone in town to know about.
· The Villain knows deep down that his daughter is not dead, just doing one of her disappearing acts, as he recognizes the signs just before she disappears.
· The Villain has purposely managed to put the unwanted son-in-law, John Roberts away and out of town for 20 years, but wonders when, and if his daughter will every show up.
· The Villain truly believes his daughter is fragile and may be missing long enough to keep John out of his life for a very long time.
· The Villain is able to keep his secret about his wife’s mental condition which he fears will affect his position in town, if people find out about her mental health condition.
· The Villain allows the charade of John’s being guilty of killing and disposing of his daughter’s body to continue for years.
· The Villain has managed to keep what happens in his home quiet for a very long time, keeping his reputation safe.
· The longer the Villain keeps John Roberts in jail, the more chances there are that John may eventually prove his innocence which could be a big problem for him.
· The Villain is counting on inmates to either kill John or frighten him into not talking about his daughter to anyone.
2. What other potential dangers could your Hero experience as they try to solve the mystery and confront the Villain?
· John Roberts is studying the law and building a good reputation inside the prison to get other prisoners’ successful appeals.
· The Villain fears that eventually there will be no way to stop a successful appeal for John.
· The Hero (John) is getting better and better as an inmate and model prisoner and could get an early release for good behaviour.
· John still has to find a way to prove his innocence that he had nothing to do with Helen’s disappearance.
· Some prisoners are not happy with John’s good behaviour and he is regularly fending off dangerous murderous criminals intent on doing him harm in prison.
· John has no idea about the Villain’s wife’s mental condition. It’s not something Helen every discussed with him.
· If he is released, where will he go?
· Can he return to his home town every again, and begin a new life without the disappearance of Helen hanging over his head forever?
· Can he find a way to redeem his reputation as a model citizen, despite his violent childhood experiences?
· Why does his father-in-law, Mike Deans, hate him so much that he has done this to him?
· Will the Hero want to seek revenge on the people that put him in jail wrongfully?
3. From the list of potential dangers, choose the ones that work for this story.
· Threats
· Physical danger
· Surveillance/watched
· Lured into a dangerous situation
· Closeness to the villain
· Trapped/Abducted/Arrested
· Danger to someone they know
· Presence of weapons or thugs
· The unknown
· Something that damages their reputation
· The threat that their own secret could be revealed
· Public humiliation
· Loss of a job or career
· A demand to stop pursuing the mystery
· Betrayal
· From someone close
· Someone operating covertly around them.
· Other parties who need to solve the mystery first.
4. The Life Threatening Sequence from those dangers, in order:
a) Helen faces a life threatening situation and as to what made her go missing.
b) No one can remember seeing her go missing from the picnic, least of all her own husband, who worked late at the bank.
c) Helen just vanished into thin air.
d) Mike Roberts felt guilty that their marriage was not working out after all the effort he had put into that relationship.
e) Mike Deans’ secret that he doesn’t want anyone to know about his family and home life.
f) How, if Mike Deans’ secret is revealed, can affect both his reputation and his career in the small town.
g) John is betrayed by his own father-in-law and accused of murder.
h) Helen is lured away by a strange hitchhiker and seems to not remember her own name.
i) Helen leaving with a stranger can put her life in danger.
j) Her disappearance puts John Roberts in jail for murder, and in danger.
k) John Roberts faces physical threats inside the penitentiary from thugs and other criminals.
l) Mike Deans’ knows that his daughter will resurface and then there will have to be explanations and possible consequences to face for having John wrongfully convicted.
m) Mike Deans works actively with the Chief of Police so that John is not released and the truth of the disappearance is never revealed as it would be bad for his reputation, so he fights every appeal John makes, but worries what he will do if, and when, Helen surfaces.
n) Mike is working hard to make John give up all his appeals and never be released to return to town.
o) Helen is writing letters every day in the asylum.
p) John Roberts has been betrayed by those closest to him.
q) The assistant nurse’s interest in figuring out what and to whom Helen is writing daily.
r) John hardly thinks of the reason he in jail now, only wants to be released and to get on with his life.
s) John has all but forgotten the unfortunate marriage to Helen.
t) If and when he is released, how he will face Mike Deans and the townspeople that had him convicted wrongfully.
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Agnes’s Mystery Sequence
What I learned doing this assignment is that what may be something the Villain is covering up, presents as a mystery to us. It keeps us engaged as to what that mystery is and why the Villain is covering up something important. His actions not only affect the Hero but also his own daughter and wife. Is he selfish or just mean? What is his motive for misleading the law?
My Hero, John Roberts is jailed wrongfully, but is using his time to get his higher education and bettering himself, while also helping other inmates. He’s a model prisoner despite what the small town jury decided. Even the prison guards cannot understand how he was convicted on such flimsy evidence. Deep inside, John knows he is innocent, and is Appealing but he is facing roadblocks because the Villain is intent in keeping him locked up. He wonders less and less about what happened to his new wife as the marriage wasn’t working anyway. As the years pass, he hardly thinks about her at all.
Mike Deans, the Villain, is keeping his secrets to himself as it serves his own purpose. He doesn’t want the town to know his wife’s condition or his daughter’s possible condition, as well. But, he does wonder where she can be, and knows that she is not dead.
Meanwhile, we wonder about Helen’s mental state and will she ever get out of the mental asylum so that her husband can be freed. What is she writing all the time? Who is she addressing envelopes to? Why is only one new nurse assistant interested in her case?
1. What is the big secret that the Villain is covering up?
The Villain, Mike Deans, keeps the fact that his wife has had debilitating mental health issues for years and never leaves the house. No one in town questions her existence. She is always just looking far away, and totally oblivious to anything going on around her.
Helen grew up observing her mother’s behaviour from childhood onwards.
Mike Deans has known that his daughter has disappeared without a trace for many months before and just turns up one day.
He just assumes it runs in the mother’s family. Because of his standing in town, he never discusses what goes on inside his house or with his family.
He had higher plans for Helen to marry better than John Roberts, but Helen was adamant that she wanted to marry John, so whatever his daughter wants, he gives her. Just as he has placated his own wife for years, as long as the secret is safe that they both suffer bouts of a mental health disorder.
Helen has a certain look, before she does her disappearing act, and he noticed that look on his daughter, but he doesn’t mention it to the Chief of Police.
He wants to be rid of John Roberts whatever it takes and achieves that goal.
The police and the towns agree that because John Roberts had a bad family background, he must be a bad person as well.
Mike Deans fails to discuss the fact that his daughter has disappeared and ran away before.
2. How many ways can they cover that secret? Those become the mysteries.
Mike Deans covers the secret by having John Roberts immediately accused of causing the disappearance of his daughter, so the police never search any further for any other suspects.
He manages to convince the town and the jury that John Roberts killed and buried his daughter’s body in the woods.
John is unable to say what happened with his wife, as he has no idea.
They had a quarrel over John being too amorous. Helen felt it was not right that John wanted so much sex. They’d only been married 3-months, so they were still newlyweds. Helen had not been adjusting to being a wife. John had no other explanation for her disappearance without her packing or taking any of her clothes.
John found he could not defend himself, so he was convicted by the jury and sentenced to 20 years for her murder to a state penitentiary.
Mike Deans was happy with the results, but still wondered when Helen would show up, as she has done this before.
But, now he had John Roberts out of his bank and out of his life forever.
Meanwhile, his wife Molly never even notices her daughter’s absence as she just keeps staring off into space.
Mike Deans goes about his banking and council duties in the small Midwestern town. He’s well respected and an upstanding model citizen of the town.
3. The First Mystery must engage the Hero into solving it.
John Roberts becomes a model prisoner, and starts taking college studies to improve his chances for a better job later when he is released.
He still wonders what really happened to Helen, but knows that he had nothing to do with her disappearance, let alone a murder.
As time passes, John Roberts is too busy with his future studies, to think too often about Helen and puts all his energy into being co-operative and learning as much as he can.
Time passes, and John decides to study the law since he’s incarcerated, he may as well learn about the law.
He becomes so good at the subject that before a few years, he is helping other inmates with their Appeals, as well as appealing his own case.
But because the Chief of Police and Mike Deans believe he is guilty they make every effort to keep John Roberts locked away for murder.
Her mother still has no idea that Helen is missing or that she may be dead. She just keeps staring at walls.
Mike Deans keeps her in the house and has her have no contact with outsiders, who soon forget that she even exists.
How will John react if Helen suddenly does return?
4. Sequence the mysteries so that each one leads us to the next one. Include ONE Red Herring mystery if you can.
Helen is the Red Herring
She is seen hitchhiking and picked up by a stranger. She ends up in Florida. She acts flaky and pretends to not really know her real name, so she gives him another name, Susan.
Next, we see that Helen is now living with this man that picked her up for some time now.
Again, Helen is not happy in domestic life after a few years. She does not adjust to being a partner.
She is often found staring off into space and out of it.
One day, she is in the park, and is talking to no one, but some older gentleman notice her, talking to herself and decide they should contact the police as she may need help.
When the police arrive, she cannot “remember” her name or her address.
Her boyfriend has her committed to an asylum, where Helen just stares into space all day, and writes the same letters, over and over and addresses envelopes.
A new nurse assistant takes an interest in her case and starts to want to follow her more closely.
None of the doctors can determine who she is, or where she came from or what is wrong with her.
5. Create a Mystery Chain for each main mystery.
Is Helen mentally ill?
Does she suffer from the same mental illness her mother suffers from?
Can she really not recall who she is?
Is there a reason she does not want to return to her own home town?
Who is she writing to everyday? Why?
What’s in those letters?
Who is she addressing those letters to?
Why is no one able to help her find out her identity?
Why is her father not actively looking for her?
Does she ever think about her husband John, and what happened to him?
Does she think of the boyfriend who picked her up on the road?
Does she wonder why she is in a mental asylum with other patients?
Does she even know that she is in a state mental asylum?
Is she interested in getting out of the asylum?
Will Helen every get out of the asylum and return home, so that John can be released from prison for a murder he did not commit?
How will John react if or when Helen resurfaces?
How will her father react if she returns, and John Roberts is freed?
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Agnes’s Villain has a great Plan
What I learned doing this assignment is that we have to work backwards in discovering the layers of my thriller and it has to be done by starting with the Villain’ s true agenda. The Villain is the writer of the hero’s demise. The Villain has a plan that he must be executed for this purpose. We look at examples of different criteria for the Villain to execute their plan, Goal, Intrigue, and Covers Secrets. It is suggested that to do this we have to Reverse Engineer it.
1. What is the end goal?
To permanently remove the unwanted and unpopular son-in-law, John Roberts, from his daughter’s and his business forever, whatever it takes.
2. How can the Villain accomplish that in a devious way?
Accuse John Roberts of murdering and burying his daughter’s body when she goes missing, because he is a popular town banker and sits on the town council. He has a lot of sway with the authorities and the townspeople. They believe him when he says that his son-in-law did away with his daughter when she cannot be found anywhere after a picnic in the park and she goes missing without a trace.
3. How can they cover it up?
Mike Deans, the banker, is keeping household secrets from everyone in town and the authorities. He knows his daughter, Helen better than anyone in town. He knows what is going on in his household and the secrets he is keeping from everyone. They never find a body. John Roberts had a very violent childhood, so they easily believe, that the son is like the father.
4. Sequence it to make it as intriguing as possible.
Where does Helen Roberts disappear?
Why does Helen Roberts disappear?
How does she disappear?
Who knows her history better than her own father as to her disappearance?
Why did she insist on marrying John Roberts and getting him a job at her father’s bank, so they can marry sooner?
What is wrong with their 3-month marriage that John Roberts had not noticed all these years about Helen as they went to school together?
How did he not see that his father-in-law hates him so much?
Why are they so quick to accuse him of murdering Helen?
What’s really going on that they are quick to accuse, convict and jail John Roberts for murdering his wife without any concrete evidence?
What is the reason that this is happening to John Roberts and what does Mike Deans know about the situation that he does not share with anyone?
Why does Mike Deans allow all to go forward and have John Roberts declared as the murderer of his missing daughter, Helen and sent to a penitentiary to serve 20 years for killing his daughter?
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Agnes McCourt – Silence of the Lambs – SOTL – Suspense
By doing this assignment scene by scene, just as in my analysis of Basic Instinct, I discovered how each scene builds on the last scene, but also adds to the mystery, intrigue and suspense of the entire film, right to the very last scene where Clarice tells Hannibal on the phone that as an FBI agent she cannot stop looking for him, though he seems to promise to leave her alone. I also noticed many parts of conversations that I had not noticed before, despite seeing and reading this book over the years.
There are many fragments, but not necessarily all have an M.I.S. in every scene. This at times adds to the following scenes M. I. S. In some instances, all 3 are present, and in others, like in my analysis of Basic Instinct, maybe only have two. But, the film continues to keep you engaged, wanting to know what happens next..
Clarice is a young FBI trainee working to become a full FBI agent when the film begins, but becomes an expert on psychopaths, by the end of the film, with the help of Hannibal Lecter, she is an experienced new FBI agent.
At first, when she is sent in to interview Lecter in his grisly cell, she seems frightened of him and is very cautious in revealing much about herself, as she had been forewarned that he gets into people’s heads quickly. He’s a very devious and clever psychopath but does not hesitate to brutally kill anyone who gets i his way.
Buffalo Bill is a seriously sick psychopath who because he cannot get a sex reassignment takes to getting larger women, in any way that he can, and starves them until they are ready for his work of using their skin to build a woman’s body that he thinks will make him a woman. He’s carefully in choosing his victims and eludes the law for several murders.
Clarice is thrust into very difficult scenes as a trainee, examining bodies he has mutilated and also finds an important clue missed by others, like the moth in one of the victim’s throats.
At first, Clarice tries to work with Hannibal, who toys with her, and gives her the name of one of his former patient whom he knows Buffalo Bill had already killed. He plays mind games with her. He wants to know her darkest fears in order to give up any useful information.
When Clarice makes a deal, promising him a better prison location, with a view and beach he seems interested. He is very disappointed when he learns that Dr. Chilton has taken control of the situation and that the deal originally promised is not real. I think he shuts down towards Clarice.
He is clearly a slippery psychopath, who manages to steal a piece of a pen to unlock his handcuffs when he is locked in the large cage before being transported to some other location he did not want to go to.. He is willing to do whatever he has to in order to make his escape. He brutally murders the guards and manages to take a face and clothes so that they take him out in the ambulance to make his final escape amidst the huge SWAT team already at that museum.
The police and FBI get the name of Buffalo Bill and are sent on a wild goose chase to Chicago to locate him. During this same time, when she got her notes back from Buffalo Bill at the Museum, before he murders the guards and mutilates them, he leaves her clues as to locating Buffalo Bill and what he might be doing with the victims.
Clarice is goes to Ohio, to interview the father of one of Buffalo Bill’s earliest victims. She happens to be a seamstress who had been working with an older seamstress.
Clarice decides to interview the older seamstress at another address in Ohio, but upon arrival we see that Buffalo Bill is at this location in Ohio. She has walked into the home of the serial killer. She quickly realizes that the entire police and FBI are at the wrong location and she is totally on her own.
It also explains that it’s possible that Buffalo Bill kept this victim, Frederica, alive longer so that he could learn how to sew, as both she and the older women were seamstresses.(Something, I hadn’t thought of before, as to how he learned to sew. It’s not usual for a man to know how to operate a sewing machine and the diamonds he cuts on the bodies are similar to the diamonds Clarice sees on the dummy in Frederica’s house when she visits that victim’s room and home.)
Buffalo Bill has the daughter of a Senator, in the deep well, where he is preparing her for his next piece of human skin for his woman’s costume. Buffalo Bill’s latest victim, Catherine, is very feisty and doing everything she can to try to escape Buffalo Bill.
The fact that the latest victim is the daughter of a Senator, gives Lecter more bargaining power in getting what he really wants, a move away from Dr. Chilton, but ultimately his total freedom.
The suspense continues to heighten as Clarice, who is still a trainee, is trying to personally apprehend this brutal psychopathic killer alone, while the terrified Catherine keeps screaming for help to get her out. Once the lights go out, and Buffalo Bill dons the night field glasses, Clarice is working in the dark literally. She is alone and terrified trying to locate the killer. Thankfully, she does manage to kill him before he kills her too.
The FBI arrive at the address after she successfully killed Buffalo Bill and Catherine is freed. Though terrified, she seems to take the little dog with her.
Clarice gets her badge as a full FBI agent and there is a celebration for all the graduating new FBI agents.
Crawford congratulates her, in solving the case and says that she will be a great asset for the FBI. Also, that her Sheriff, father would have been very proud of her.
The final scene is the phone call from the now free Hannibal Lecter in some Caribbean Island, through dollars behind his head have the Queen on it, so it is one of the UK’s colonial islands. Lecter has his eye on Dr. Chilton and plans to “have him for dinner”. He congratulates Clarice but knows that he helped her to catch Buffalo Bill. He tells her he has no plans to go after her, but she cannot promise him the same because of the job she holds.
He still reminds her about the “screaming lambs” she had confided in him, in order to get more information on Buffalo Bill before Buffalo Bill kills the Senator’s daughter. He is quick to get off the phone so that the call cannot be traced. I believe Clarice keeps that call and information to herself.
We know what Hannibal Lecter will do next, which is kill Dr. Chilton and we do know that he will continue to kill people, as he has in the past. He is pure evil and very diabolical. Clarice has gained her entry into the FBI and has many others like him to chase down.
By stacking the scenes, each one reveals just a bit more each time, but keeps you wondering until the very end, whether Clarice will be able to help catch Buffalo Bill before he kills Catherine, whom is in Buffalo Bill’s basement well.
The stacking presents a slow scene-by-scene reveal that keeps the audience engaged right to the last scene, as we see Lecter toying first with Clarice and then actually helping her to catch Buffalo Bill.
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I have already posted my introduction days ago, to this forum for this new course, but still keep getting notification messages to the contrary. Can you please advise if there is another location I am supposed to post to, as i do not seem to be getting through to this course? It’s in the same area as all the other introduction posts.
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Agnes McCourt – Basic Instinct – SOTL – Stacking Suspense
Doing this assigned scene by scene, I discovered how each scene builds on the last scene, but also adds to the mystery, intrigue and suspense of the entire film, right to the very final scene.
Every scene does not necessarily have an M. I. S., but only fragments. This at times adds to the following scenes M. I. S. In some instances, all 3 are present, and in others, maybe only two. But, the film continues to keep you engaged, wanting to know what happens next.
It’s difficult to discern whether Beth or Catherine is the murderer. At first, we think Roxy might be the killer until she is killed in the car crash and the murders continue. Her death seems to affect Catherine very much.
We slowly learn that Marty Nilsen also has knowledge of both Beth’s background and Catherine’s, and seems to be the one selling Nick’s IA information to Catherine for profit, especially, when he is also killed. Also, that Beth has a hand in giving the personal information to Marty Nilsen, as he does not want to buy her side of the psychiatric report on Nick.
Nick is slowly spiraling back into his “Shooter” mode, by returning to smoking cigarettes and drinking copious amounts of alcohol, to cope. Catherine seems to be encouraging his return to his former addictions.
Nick is also playing with fire when he thinks he is in charge of Catherine’s “game”. But, she seems to be in control from the very first scene to the very last scene.
With Beth’s surprising death at Nick’s hands, Beth is blamed for Gus’s murder and the police close the case on the ice pick killer.
But by stacking the scenes, each one reveals just a bit more each time, but keeps you wondering until the very end, whether Beth or Catherine is the killer. Almost, to the very last scene, we are not certain if Beth is the killer or Catherine.
The stacking presents a slow scene-by-scene reveal that keeps the audience engaged right to the last scene, as we see Nick believe Beth was the psychopathic ice pick killer. This is despite evidence that Catherine gained from several peoples’ death, or people she used to study, for her books because she uses her books as an alibi. After all, why would she kill exactly like her characters in her books?
The final scene when Nick suggests having “having rug rats”, after they had just finished having sex, she’s reaching for something at her side of the bed. Then, Nick suggests “maybe not,” about rug rats, and Catherine seems to relax her search. The ice pick is revealed under her side of the bed, suggesting that she’s been the killer all along, and Nick was almost killed and may still be killed in the near future. But Catherine’s gotten away with so many killings, to this point, that she seems to be ready to do whatever she feels like without any thought for the future consequences. She truly is the psychopathic killer.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by Agnes Agnes McCourt.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by
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I’m Agnes McCourt and I am happy to be part of Mastering the Thriller Genre.
I have a few scripts on the go, but not completed yet. I am just retiring from my full time job, as a Training and Adult Curriculum Development Specialist at the City of Toronto. I was born and have lived in Toronto, Canada my entire life.
I have traveled to many interesting places around the world, meeting people from all walks of life.
I have taken additional courses in a many different areas, over the past 40+ years, preparing myself to get seriously into screenwriting.
I hope to learn more about actual screenwriting concepts to help me complete my scripts already in progress, and new ideas for new scripts, as well.
I hope to learn more about writing tighter and more gripping scripts.
I have been writing in various ways for many years, in a wide variety of different occupations.
I have many hobbies including film which started at an early age. I love many genres of music, both listening and playing instruments. I was a downhill skier for 20 years. I studied karate, fencing and ballroom dancing over the years. I love the outdoors and hope to write up in my northern retreat in the summer and fall months.
I’ve had a very interesting life from childhood to the present, and hope to be able to incorporate some aspects of those experiences in my scripts.
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Agnes’s World and Characters
What I learned doing this assignment is everything is not always as it first appears. There are many factors involved and powerful people can totally control a situation. A person’s innocence or guilt can be quickly judged before having all the facts or doing a full and proper investigation. The story must unfold slowly in order to maintain the mystery, intrigue and suspense and keep the audience engaged.
Pitch
A man with a very violent childhood is accused of murdering his wife by a powerful father-in-law who hates him when his wife, his daughter, suddenly disappears without a trace. The Chief of Police is quick to agree to charge the husband for murder, as the father-in-law, Mike Deans is a powerful man in the Community and there are no other suspects. The son-in-law is also an employee of the father-in-law who is head of the town bank and sits on their town council.
Subject Line: Big M.I.S. of my story
Big Mystery: Helen Roberts, missing wife. What happened to her?
Big Intrigue: Mike Deans (father-in-law’s) role in his daughter’s disappearance. There are secrets in his household, concerning his mentally ill wife. Why does Mike continue to keep the secret of is sick wife?
Big Suspense: John Roberts, the husband accused of murdering his wife. He’s the only suspect. The father-in-law, Mike Deans is adamant he murdered and did away with his daughter’s body. Mike Deans never liked John Roberts. The Chief of Police cannot find any other suspects, so they take him at his word, that John Roberts is guilty of murder.
World: Small mid-western town secrets among its citizens that add to the mystery.
Protagonist: John Roberts
Mystery: Where or why did his wife disappear after their yet brief marriage? There were some issues in their marriage but nothing that can explain her sudden disappearance.
Intrigue: Why are they (townspeople, father-in-law, Chief of Police), all so against him? His past childhood had nothing to do with his wife’s disappearance as far as he knows.
Suspense: Will John be charged, convicted and go to jail for a crime he says he did not commit? Can no one prove his innocence before he is convicted of his wife’s murder?
Villain: Mike Deans, John’s father-in-law, a powerful banker and member of their town council.
Mystery: What secrets does Mike have concerning his own household about his wife’s mental condition?
Intrigue: Why is he so quick to accuse John and have him charged with Helen’s disappearance and murder? Why does he keep a close reign on what is going on in his own home?
Suspense: Will John Roberts be found innocent or guilty and will he pay the ultimate price for his wife’s disappearance? Where did Helen disappear to?
Red Herring: Mary Dean, what is her condition? Why is Mike so protective of revealing her illness to anyone?
Mystery: How bad is her condition and how long has she been ill?
Intrigue: Does Mary know anything about her daughter’s disappearance?
Suspense: Can Mary shed light on her daughter’s disappearance?
Missing Wife: Helen Roberts
Mystery: What happened to her? Was she murdered? Where did she go? Why do they believe she is dead?
Intrigue: Why did Helen befriend John Roberts throughout school and push for a quick marriage, though her father was opposed to the marriage? John had wanted to wait until he was financially set, but she arranged a job for him at her father’s bank so that they could marry quickly.
Suspense: Where did she disappear to during a town picnic in the nearby park? John only saw her briefly in the park, as he had to close up late at the bank and arrived at the picnic late. Will Helen be found in time to keep John out of prison for murder?
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I’m Agnes McCourt and I am happy to be part of this exciting new class.
I have a few scripts on the go, but not completed yet. I am just retiring from my full time job, as a Training and Adult Curriculum Development Specialist at the City of Toronto. I was born and have lived in Toronto, Canada my entire life.
I have traveled to many interesting places around the world, meeting people from all walks of life.
I have taken aditional courses in a many different areas, over the past 40+ years, preparing myself to get seriously into screenwriting.
I hope to learn more about actual screenwriting concepts to help me complete my scripts already in progress, and new ideas for new scripts, as well.
I hope to learn more about writing tighter and more gripping scripts.
I have been writing in various ways for many years, in a wide variety of different occupations.
I have many hobbies including film which started at an early age. I love many genres of music, both listening and playing instruments. I was a downhill skier for 20 years. I studied karate, fencing and ballroom dancing over the years. I love the outdoors and hope to write up in my northern retreat in the summer and fall months.
I’ve had a very interesting life from childhood to the present, and hope to be able to incorporate some aspects of those experiences in my scripts.
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Agnes McCourt
I agree to the terms of this release form.
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What I learned doing this assignment is that I had to make several adjustments and changes to sections to make the story work as a psychological thriller.
Subject Line: Big M.I.S.of my story
Mystery: Helen Roberts, missing wife.
Intrigue: Mike Deans (father-in-law’s) role in his daughters disappearance.
Big Suspense: John Roberts, the husband accused of murdering his wife.
Log line: A man with a very violent childhood is accused of murdering his wife by a powerful father-in-law who hates him when his wife, his daughter, suddenly disappears.
1. Conventions of my Story:
•Unwitting but Resourceful Hero: (husband)
•Dangerous Villain: (powerful father-in-law that hates his son-in-law)
•High Stakes: What happened to the missing wife.
•Life and Death Situations:
Missing wife;
Husband only one accused;
Powerful father-in-law says son-in-law did it.
•This story is thrilling because:
We do not know what happened to man’s missing wife.
Chief of Police believe the father-in-law’s version of what happened to his beloved daughter.
2. Big Mystery: Where did Helen Roberts go or what happened to her?
Big Intrigue: Why is Mike Dean’s (father-in-law) and the Chief of Police so quick to charge the husband, John Roberts for her murder?
Big Suspense: Is John Roberts guilty for his wife’s disappearance and will he be convicted and jailed for her murder?
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What I learned doing this assignment is that each time I watch the film for specific details, I get more information with each viewing. Watching a film only once never allows me to see all the details and action going on behind the scenes.
Subject Line: Wrath of Man (Action thriller)
Conventions noted:
•Unwitting but resourceful hero: “H”
•Dangerous villain(s):
Difficult to tell for a while as to who the villains actually are.
•High stakes: Armoured trucks moving large sums of money being robbed by very resourceful criminals.
•Life and Death: Good and bad people keep getting killed despite not being sure who the good or bad guys actually are right from the start to the very end of this film.
•This movie is thrilling because: you never really find out who “H” the hero, really is or who he works for, but he has many professional skills, connections and his own army of mercenaries.
The big mystery: who is “H” /Mason and who is he connected to.
The big intrigue: who are these well organized robbers of heavily armed trucks that are transporting millions of dollars and how do they know which trucks to hit.
Big Suspense: will these villains get away with their final large heist with all the money and can the hero stop them.
The hero’s personal connection to these criminals.
It makes it a great thriller when we realize the hero is well-connected and has his own army. Also, when we discover who the villains actually are. Why the hero is there in the first place to get these criminals.
Biggest mystery is that we never really learn who the hero actually is or who he works for. But that he will not be stopped before completing his mission to take down all of the mystery villains no matter what it takes.
I found the film thrilling from the very start to the very last frame. The time just flew by. There are several red herrings throughout and you have a very hard time trying to discover who these villains are. But more importantly, who the hero is.
The music is thundering and suspenseful from the very start.
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Hi, I’m Agnes McCourt, and I’m glad to join you all. I am still working on a few scripts in a few genres, which I hope to perfect through more screenwriting exercises.
I’m now a retired, Training and Adult Curriculum Development Specialist and hope to bring my writing experience to this program.
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I , Agnes McCourt “I agree to the terms of this release form.”