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  • Alfred Travis

    Member
    November 8, 2022 at 7:01 pm in reply to: Day 22 Assignments

    Alfred Travis’s Interest Scene

    What I learned doing this assignment is… ? Explore!

    Logline: Beau returns to his brother Lefty. Bo feigns peace, no hard feelings, but he really wants Lefty to reveal his secret that his mother did not give birth to Beau.

    Interest Technique Ideas:

    Structural: Intrigue, Mystery, Something Unseen.

    Character: Uncomfortable Moment

    Dialogue: Hook

    INT. LEFTY’S HOUSE – NIGHT

    Lefty pours drinks of Brandy.

    LEFTY

    We good?

    BEAU

    Should we not be good?

    LEFTY

    It’s been awhile.

    BEAU

    I know.

    Beau picks up the drink, takes a sip.

    LEFTY

    What have you been doing? Working?

    BEAU

    I’ve been thinking about us. Family.

    LEFTY

    That’s good.

    Lefty takes a drink.

    BEAU

    I know you know.

    LEFTY

    That’s past. We’re brothers.

    BEAU

    The same right?

    Beau sips his drink.

    BEAU

    Tell me. I know you know.

    LEFTY

    Right. There’s nothing for me to say.

  • Alfred Travis

    Member
    November 7, 2022 at 8:38 pm in reply to: Day 21 Assignments

    Alfred Travis Reveals

    Logline: Jack Berres, owner of the Art Space Bo rents, pays a late night visit to Bo. He reveals to Bo his awareness of Bo’s entire life.

    What do I want to hide from the reader for dramatic effect? Bo’s fears and avoidance of conflict and that he’s an adult runaway from his family.

    What are the characters hiding from each other? Bo is hiding his fears and that he’s living at the Art Space. Jack is hiding his awareness of Bo’s situation/circumstances.

    What is already known that would be more dramatic if hidden, then revealed? Bo’s significant music project.

    What would be the best/worst/most dramatic thing that could be revealed at this point? Jack’s awareness of Bo’s entire life and Bo’s suppression because of fear.

    Knowing this story what could be under the surface that would create more drama for my character’s? The unreported history of Bo experiencing domestic violence/abuse and a political terror.

    Are there any deeper meanings to the things my characters are saying and doing? Shame, domestic violence, domestic abuse.

    Demand: Jack demands Bo to open up to him.

    Cover-up: Bo unwilling to name his truth.

    Reveal: Jack assures Bo he is safe.

    INT. BLUE COMPOSER ROOM – LATE NIGHT

    Bo sits at his piano. Pencil in hand.

    Jack is at the window. He turns around, comes to Bo.

    JACK

    Something I want you to know.

    BO

    What is it?

    JACK

    I know your music project.

    Bo touches, plays a sequence of notes on the piano.

    BO

    The music of the spheres.

    JACK

    And what that means.

    Beat of silence.

    JACK

    I saw you on the streets of South Minneapolis. You were a child. Homeless.

    BO

    I was?

    JACK

    I know how you feel about your family.

    Silence.

    JACK

    I don’t believe your family is your family.

    BO

    They bother me. I….

    JACK

    You ran away.

    Bo is silent.

    JACK

    You’re safe here, Bo. Just be upfront with me. You can talk to me.

    BO

    Its hard. I feel something is wrong, but I don’t know what it is.

    JACK

    What do you feel is wrong?

    BO

    Family. They’re so hostile.

    JACK

    It’s domestic violence and abuse. You survived kidnap and murder.

    BO

    That’s it?

    JACK

    You want to express it through music. That’s why the music spoke to you.

    Bo plays some NOTES on the piano.

  • Alfred Travis

    Member
    November 1, 2022 at 10:26 pm in reply to: Day 20 Assignments

    Alfred Travis Character Relationships

    What I Learned doing this assignment was…? How to view my character relationships to get to the story I need to tell.

    1.

    Bo Travis

    Traits: Depressed, Ashamed

    Karen

    Traits: Plotting, Deceptive, Sullen, Self-Righteousness

    Jack Berres

    Traits: Insightful, Caring, Friendly, smart

    Janey

    Sexually Promiscuous, Desirable, Creative, Intelligent

    2.

    Bo/Karen: Bo’s feeling wronged/Karen self-righteous

    Bo/Janey: Bo ashamed/Janey Inviting

    Bo/Jack: Bo is depressed/Jack Caring

    3.

    Bo has rapport with Jack and Janey. They give Bo a new lease on life. With Karen Bo has a conflict he doesn’t want in contrast with K who’s competing for Bo’s goal.

    4.

    Bo is inspired with Jack. Jack is supportive. With Karen give Bo the trait of being strong, not a victim of what he doesn’t know.

  • Alfred Travis

    Member
    October 18, 2022 at 7:43 pm in reply to: Day 13 Assignments

    Title: Alfred Travis Max Interest 2

    What I’ve learned… Good craft

    LOGLINE: KAREN, a girl Bo dated senior year college, catches up with Bo three years later.

    ESSENCE: Karen feigns nice, a good friend to Bo for her robbery plot.

    EXT. BUTLER NORTH BUILDING – DAY

    As Bo exits his Art Space building KAREN calls out to him.

    KAREN

    Bo?

    Bo turns and sees Karen. Something about her.

    KAREN

    Been awhile. What are you up to?

    Bo is silent a moment.

    BO

    I’m renting an Art Space here.

    He points to the Butler North Building.

    KAREN

    Let me guess – Music Composer, right?

    BO

    How did you know/

    KAREN

    I’m in the business to know.

    BO

    I have to go.

    Karen points to her next door building.

    KAREN

    I’m in the Public Relations business. Come see me.

    BO

    Come see you?

    KAREN

    Yes.

    BO

    We’ll see.

    Bo cuts across the street.

  • Alfred Travis

    Member
    October 17, 2022 at 7:12 pm in reply to: Day 12 Assignments

    Alfred Travis’s Challenging Situations

    What I learned that is improving my writing is…? Take a good look at the situations of my characters.

    SCENE 1 INT. BEDROOM – DAY

    A. Current Scene Logline: BO, depressed, in bed in the middle of the day, pondering nothing, when his younger brother, CURTIS, shames him in front of his visitor, MARY.

    B. Essence: What’s it going to take to get Bo up and engaged with his life?

    C. Brainstorm: Show the depth of Bo’s troubled family relationship

    D. Summary: Make the scene clear about family tension.

    SCENE 2 INT. BEDROOM – DAY

    New Logline: Bo expresses himself to Curtis’s hostility.

    B. Essence: Bo stands up to wrong, abuse.

    C. Brainstorm….

    D. Summary….

  • Alfred Travis

    Member
    October 15, 2022 at 8:10 pm in reply to: Day 11 Assignments

    Alfred Travis’s Full-Out Characters

    “What I’ve Learned that is improving my writing is…?” To push beyond to get the thinking about my story vision/purpose and characters.

    CURRENT PROFILES

    BO

    Description: 25 year old black male who wants to be a music composer.

    Core Traits: Depressed, Ashamed, listless, feels unworthy.

    Subtext: Bo is fearful to express his truth.

    KAREN

    Description: She’s a Swedish blonde, cut-throat PR Representative

    Core Traits: Self-important, deceptive, sullen, sad, racist.

    Subtext: Karen is neurotically obsessed with Bo.

    JACK

    Description: Elderly Real Estate Restorer.

    Core Traits: Perceptive, sharp, effeminate, expert, fashionable.

    Subtext: Secretly aware of Bo’s life.

    REVISED PROFILES

    BO

    Description: A down on his luck wanna be Music Composer.

    Core Traits: Depressed, Ashamed, feels defective and unworthy.

    Subtext: Doesn’t stand up for himself or speak his truth, his heart.

    KAREN

    Description: Swedish blonde, cut-throat PR rep.

    Subtext: Obsessed for Bo to “see” her.

    JACK

    Elderly Real Estate Business man.

    Core Traits: Spiritual, a seer, expert.

    Subtext: Plans for Bo’s conversion.


  • Alfred Travis

    Member
    October 11, 2022 at 11:32 pm in reply to: Day 9 Assignments

    Edward –

    These type of stories have interest as they describe the War on Terror since 9/11. I tried to grasp the skills we are working with. I think it is in the subtext. I was able to read your scene.

  • Alfred Travis

    Member
    October 10, 2022 at 9:51 pm in reply to: Day 8 Assignments

    Logline: JOHN and NICK face-off over vital info to launch a website worth millions.

    Essence: Characters accuse each over the possession of vital info.

    INT. OFFICE – DAY

    JOHN, a distrustful loner, works furiously at his desk, waiting impatiently for data on his computer.

    JOHN

    Come on!

    Moments before final input NICK enters.

    NICK

    I knew you’re distrustful!

    JOHN

    No! You tried to connive your way into my business.

    NICK

    I gave you the data you wanted.

    JOHN

    For a price.

    NICK

    God, man, where’s your loyalty?!

    John pops a disk out of the computer.

    NICK

    Good luck with that.

    They stare each other down.

    JOHN

    You didn’t.

    NICK

    That information is worthless!

    John re-checks the computer.

    JOHN

    Worthless?

    NICK

    I know you. You’re not to be trusted.

    John puts the disk back into the computer.

    ACCESS DENIED.

  • Alfred Travis

    Member
    October 6, 2022 at 5:17 pm in reply to: Day 5 Assignments

    Alfred QE Scene

    INT. CLUB – NIGHT

    A kind of stylish club. A stock company EMPLOYEES celebrate. A stellar performance for X-Corporation.

    CEO ROBERT UNCORKS a bottle of champagne.

    ROBERT

    To X-Corporation!

    APPLAUSE!

    A secretive look marks Robert’s mood as he sees TRENT, who shoots a conspiring, aggressive eye toward Robert.

    Trent approaches Robert.

    TRENT

    I know you did it.

    Robert takes a self-esteem boosting drink.

    Trent

    You used me.

    Robert

    What are you talking about?

    TRENT

    Let’s talk.

    They leave the celebration

    INT. BACKROOM – NIGHT

    TRENT

    Tell me the secret?

    ROBERT(smooth)

    I know what I’m doing –

    Trent punches Robert with a blow to his face….

  • Alfred Travis

    Member
    October 4, 2022 at 9:57 pm in reply to: Day 4 Assignments

    Alfred Travis Interest Techniques

    “What I’ve Learned that is improving my writing is…?”

    I learned how to think of my scenes in a more interesting way to capture the essence of the scene.

    Screenplay: The Black and Blue Room

    Logline: Bo, in the throes of depression and shame, seeks confirmation that he had a miracle experience with music in junior high school.

    Essence of the Scene: Bo’s Junior high school Principal, MR. MARTIN, gives Bo his miracle music-notes, confirming Bo’s experience.

    Scene:

    EXT. FOLWELL CATHOLIC JR. HIGH SCHOOL – DAY

    A large half a block building. It looks like a haunted, mystery school.

    INT. FOLWELL CATHOLIC JR. HIGH SCHOOL – DAY

    School is yet in session. MR. GEORGE MARTIN, a youthful 30s, head of curly black hair, the PRINCIPAL HEADMASTER, playful in a serious way. He, like the spirit of something Supernatural, is in the front hallway when Bo enters.

    Mr. Martin tosses a prodigious bundle of note-cards to Bo, who makes the esoteric catch.

    MR. MARTIN

    I’m George Martin. The Music Producer of The Beatles.

    BO

    I remember. You taught me the Music of the Spheres.

    Bo clutches the note-cards in hand.

    Bo

    I’m going to compose these note-cards.

    MR. MARTIN

    if you do that you’ll manifest the meaning of Pythagoras’s Universal music theory.

    BO

    It’ll be a miracle!

  • Alfred Travis

    Member
    October 3, 2022 at 10:19 pm in reply to: Day 3 Assignments

    Alfred Travis Profiles People

    “What I’ve Learned that is improving my writing is…?” Understanding the extremes of my characters.

    Person 1: I dislike Person 1. 4 Core Traits: Religious, Hedonistic, Fatherly, Critical. In a Prayer Room at church Person 1 entered and without knowing me was openly critical of me. He was mean, critically mean.

    Person 2: I like Person 1. 4 Core Traits: Somewhat unfriendly, probing, mysterious, judgmental. In October 1998 Person 1 approached me outside of my apartment building. He was somewhat unfriendly, probing my life with a mysterious tone like judgmental of my life.

    Person 3. 4 Core Traits: Excellence, sermonizing, unsupportive, unbeliever. In the second semester of the Cinema Production program, class, Writing The Short Script, Person 3 demanded excellence of me without support, or instruction, and concluded the meeting with a “sermon,” calling me “pretentious” and that he was an unbeliever.

  • Alfred Travis

    Member
    September 28, 2022 at 7:49 pm in reply to: Day 3 Assignments

    Alfred Travis Profiles People

    “What I’ve Learned That is Improving my writing is…?” A grasp of traits of character, including Extreme Character Traits

    Person 1: 4 Traits: Religious, Hedonistic, Fatherly, Critical.

    Person 2: 4 Traits: Affable, Conversational, Caring, Mysterious.

    Person 3: 4 Traits: Unsupportive, Incorrect, Agnostic, Wrong.

  • Alfred Travis

    Member
    September 23, 2022 at 8:28 pm in reply to: Day 2 Assignment

    Alfred Travis Puts Essence To Work

    “What I’ve Learned is…?” Think about my story essence

    Script I Choose: The Black and Blue Room

    Scene 1 Location: Opening Scene

    Logline: Bo Travis, the day has started but Bo, dressed, is in bed, depressed, listless, idle, no objective for life.

    Essence: Bo needs occupation.

    New Logline: Bo, moved by his friend, Mary, seeks to become a music composer.

    Scene 2 Location: Page 10. The Inciting Incident

    Logline: Bo buys a special music composer book.

    Essence: Discovery of a special song contest.

    New Logline: Bo finds opportunity.

    Scene 3 Location: Page 30. First Act Break. 1st Turning Point

    Logline: Bo is attracted to Janey.

    Essence: Bo is heightened into his project meeting Janey.

    New Logline: Bo’s call to life, music and love.

    Scene 4 Location: Page 60. Midpoint

    Logline: Bo meets with some friends.

    Essence: Bo connecting with others.

    New Logline: Bo, connecting with others, experiences joy.

    Scene 5 Location: Page 88. The Big Gloom.

    Logline: Bo, robbed of his music project, busks.

    Essence: The music keeps Bo lifted up and hopeful.

    New Logline: Though music is lost, Bo and his music dream goes on.

  • Alfred Travis

    Member
    September 21, 2022 at 12:57 am in reply to: Day 1 Assignment

    Alfred Travis Finds The Essence

    Script I Choose: Undiscovered

    I have been searching for this script to buy, but it is not available. It is the only movie that influences me!

    I can’t do the assignment on any script. So I’ll have to move on to the next assignment as the script I choose I haven’t been able to find a copy.

  • Alfred Travis

    Member
    September 19, 2022 at 5:40 pm in reply to: Introduce Yourself To The Group

    Hello! My name is Alfred Travis. I have written three feature scripts and two short scripts. Recently I learned that one of my spiritual gifts includes Creative Communication. I hope to get out of this class creative mastery – mastery of my gift. I’m an Earth and Water body. A unique detail!

  • Alfred Travis

    Member
    September 19, 2022 at 5:36 pm in reply to: Confidentiality Agreement

    Alfred Travis

    I agree to the terms of this release form.

  • Alfred Travis

    Member
    April 29, 2021 at 12:13 am in reply to: Day 4 Assignment

    “What I learned doing this assignment is…?” There’s a good reward for hard work. Excellent work!

    Alfred Travis Character Profile

    Logline: A man explores his memory loss and faith.

    Role:

    Protagonist: Bo. Traits: Loner. Down on self. Soft spoken.

    Bo’s subtext logline: Believe….???

    Antagonist: Karen. Traits: Self-righteous. Defensive.

    Optional:

    Bo doesn’t want to admit about himself: mentally ill, living on Social Security and in public housing.

  • Alfred Travis

    Member
    April 26, 2021 at 1:33 am in reply to: Day 3 Assignment

    “What I learned doing this assignment is…?” What happens with my character in these story beats.

    Alfred Travis Story Beats

    Logline: A man explores his memory loss and faith.

    Story Beats:

    1. EXT. ELLIOT TWIN HIGH-RISE TOWERS – COURT-YARD – DAY

    BO re-meets PASTOR KENNY, but retains no memory of him.

    2. INT. ELLIOT TWIN COMMUNITY ROOM – DAY

    Bo meets his neighbor, KATE, a Julliard trained pianist.

    3. INT. BO’S APARTMENT 708 – NIGHT

    Bo takes his mental illness medicine, sleeps.

    4. EXT. ELLIOT PARK – DAY

    Bo in park????

    5. EXT. ELLIOT TWIN HIGH-RISE – COURTYARD – NIGHT

    Bo star gazing.

    6. EXT. ELLIOT PARK – DAY

    Bo restless….

    7. INT. ELLIOT TWIN – BACK HALLWAY – DAY

    Bo receives a letter of which he has no memory of its contents.

    8. EXT. BUTLER NORTH BUILDING – DAY

    Outside Art Space.

    9. INT. BUTLER NORTH BUILDING – HALLWAY – DAY

    Maintenance MIKE unlocks Art Space.

    10. INT. ART SPACE 708 – DAY

    Bo recognizes Mike, but not the Art Space. Though he experiences a flashback.

    11. INT. BLACK ROOM – DAY

    Mike gives Bo his forgotten Music Compositions.

    12. INT. HENNEPIN COUNTY MEDICAL CENTER – PSYCHIATRIST OFFICE – DAY

    Bo talks to his psychiatrist, DR. ORBUCH, about memory loss. Dr. Orbuch sets Bo up with a Memory Care Specialist.

    13. INT. ELLIOT TWIN COMMUNITY ROOM – DAY

    Bo tells Kate he will do a lyric analysis of his music compositions to help recover his memory.

    14. INT. SCHMITT MUSIC STORE – DAY

    Bo buys a music journal.

    15. INT. BARNES AND NOBLE BOOKSELLER – DAY

    Bo purchases an Oxford English Dictionary (OED) and a Thesaurus.

    16. EXT. ASCENSION CATHOLIC CHURCH – DAY

    Est. shot on cross on top of the church.

    17. INT. ASCENSION CATHOLIC CHURCH – NARTHEX – DAY

    Bo hesitates to enter Mass.

    18. INT. ASCENSION CATHOLIC CHURCH – NAVE – DAY

    Bo attends Mass.

    19. EXT. UNIVERSITY OF ST. THOMAS – DAY

    Est. shot.

    20. INT. UST – LOBBY – DAY

    Bo looks at Fresco art.

    21. OFFICE 214 – DAY

    Bo signs up for an Art History class.

    22. INT. UST – LOBBY – SECURITY COMMAND DESK – DAY

    Bo gets his student ID.

    23. INT. UST – CAFETERIA – DAY

    Bo finds a flyer: Composers perform works Spring Semester at UST Chapel of St. Thomas Aquinas.

    24. INT. UST – BOOKSTORE – DAY

    Bo buys a Catechism.

    25. INT. UST – CAFETERIA – NIGHT

    Bo analyzes music compositions, “The Making Of…”

    26. EXT. DAYTON’S DEPARTMENT STORE – NIGHT

    Holiday window display: “How the Grinch Stole Christmas!”

    27. INT. BO’S 708 APARTMENT – NIGHT

    Music scene: “Silent Night.”

    28. INT. ET CR – DAY

    Kate plays piano as Bo listens.

    29. INT. ASCENSION CATHOLIC CHURCH – NAVE – DAY

    WOMAN enters Confessional.

    30. INT. ASCENSION CATHOLIC CHURCH – NARTHEX – DAY

    Bo talks with Pastor Kenny.

    31. INT. ET CR – DAY

    Bo discusses Pastor Kenny with Kate.

    32. EXT. ELLIOT PARK – NIGHT

    Bo star gazes.

    33. INT. ET CR – DAY

    Bo analyzes music composition, “Let Me Be The One.”

    34. INT. BO’S 708 APARTMENT – NIGHT

    Bo analyzes music composition, “S-T-O(Stop).”

    35. INT. ET CR – DAY

    Bo can’t play his music composition, “S-T-O(Stop).”

    End Act I

    Begin Act II

    36. INT. UST – CLASSROOM – DAY

    Art History class.

    37. INT. HCMC EXAMINATION ROOM – DAY

    Bo undergoes memory tests.

    38. INT. MEMORY CARE SPECIALIST OFFICE – DAY

    DR. HANNAH confirms results of tests: no abnormalities.

    39. INT. ASCENSION CATHOLIC CHURCH – DAY

    Flashback to Art Space.

    40. INT. ASCENSION CATHOLIC CHURCH – DAY

    WOMAN crosses herself.

    41. INT. DUNN BROTHERS COFFEE SHOP – DAY

    Bo discusses Art Space clue.

    42. INT. JACK’S OFFICE – DAY

    Security Manager, JACK MORTENSON, informs Bo of a 1984 robbery of his music compositions.

    43. INT. BUTLER SQUARE – DAY

    Business Office Directory search.

    44. INT. ET CR – DAY

    Bo encounters a disturbed Kate.

    45. INT. BO’S 708 APARTMENT – NIGHT

    Bo struggles with prayer.

    46. INT. UST – COMPUTER LAB – DAY

    Bo runs a search on Karen.

    47. INT. POWDERHORN PARK APARTMENT – HALLWAY – DAY

    Wrong Karen Knepper.

    48. INT. THE MARQUETTE APARTMENTS – HALLWAY – DAY

    Wrong Karen.

    49. INT. DEAN PARKWAY APARTMENT – HALLWAY – DAY

    Real Karen, but she refuses to see Bo.

    50. INT. ET CR – DAY

    PK provides Bo with books to aid memory.

    51. INT. HALLWAY – DAY

    Kate calls Bo “Satan!”

    52. INT. UST CAFETERIA – NIGHT

    Bo makes a friend, JANEY.

    53. INT. BO’S APARTMENT – NIGHT

    Bo analyzes music composition, “The Making Of…”

    54. INT. ET CR – NIGHT

    Bo dances with Kate.

    55. INT. MEMORY CARE SPECIALIST OFFICE – DAY

    Dr. H. and Bo discuss trauma.

    56. INT. ASCENSION CATHOLIC CHURCH – NAVE – DAY

    Bo struggles with prayer.

    57. INT. PASTOR KENNY’S OFFICE – DAY

    Bo and PK talk about Bo at Jr. Hi School.

    58. EXT. FOLWELL CATHOLIC JR. HI. SCHOOL – DAY

    Est. shot.

    59. INT. FOLWELL CATHOLIC JR. HI SCHOOL – PRINCIPALS’S OFFICE – DAY

    Bo re-meets GEORGE MARTIN.

    60. INT. UST – LOBBY – DAY

    Bo shares a Bible verse with Janey.

    61. INT. BO’S 708 APARTMENT – NIGHT

    Bo analyzes lyrics of music composition, “The Making Of…”

    62. INT. ET CR – DAY

    Kate’s birthday celebration!

    63. INT. BO’S 708 APARTMENT – DAY

    Bo analyzes music composition, “The Black and Blue Room.”

    64. INT. HCMC – PSYCHIATRISTS OFFICE – DAY

    Bo informs Dr. Orbuch he’s off meds.

    End Act II

    (Begin Act III)

    65. EXT. ELLIOT PARK – DAY

    A dove comes to Bo.

    66. INT. ASCENSION CATHOLIC CHURCH – NAVE – DAY

    Bo prays!

    67. INT. ET CR – NIGHT

    Bo BANGS on the piano keys!

    68. INT. ASCENSION CATHOLIC CHURCH – NAVE – DAY

    Bo completes his prayer.

    69. EXT. ET HR – COURTYARD – NIGHT

    Bo stands alone.

    70. INT. UST – LOBBY – DAY

    Bo learns he write a good Art History essay.

    71. INT. ET CR – DAY

    Bo analyzes music compositions.

    72. EXT. ELLIOT PARK – NIGHT

    Bo and Kate together.

    73. INT. MEMORY CARE SPECIALIST OFFICE – DAY

    Dr. H. continues Bo’s memory therapy.

    74. INT. DUNNS BROTHERS COFFEESHOP – DAY

    Kate discusses her life with Bo.

    75. INT. ET CR – NIGHT

    Bo hears the voice of Jesus speak: “Believe in Me.”

    76. INT. UST – ATRIUM – NIGHT

    Bo fantasizes a date with Kate.

    77. INT. MEMORY CARE SPECIALISTS OFFICE – DAY

    Dr. H. discusses Karen with Bo.

    78. INT. UST – HALLWAY – NIGHT

    Fresco lecture.

    79. INT. UST – HALLWAY – NIGHT

    Bo finds MUSICIANS note.

    80. INT. UST CHAPEL – NARTHEX – DAY

    Musician ERIC agrees to perform Bo’s music composition, “The Making Of…”

    81. INT. PASTOR KENNY’S OFFICE – DAY

    Bo tells PK he heard Jesus’ voice.

    *82. INT. UST – COMPUTER LAB – DAY

    Bo gets a picture of Karen at SCSU Alumni page.

    83. INT. ET CR – NIGHT

    Bo analyzes music compositions.

    84. EXT. IDS CENTER – DAY

    Bo finds Karen’s office building.

    85. INT. THE WELLS GROUP PR OFFICE – DAY

    Bo finds Karen!

    86. INT. KAREN’S OFFICE – DAY

    Karen in her office.

    87. INT. ART SPACE – DAY

    Karen’s robbery.

    88. INT. KAREN’S OFFICE – DAY

    Heated conversation between Bo and Karen.

    89. EXT. ELLIOT PARK – DAY

    Bo suffers a heart attack.

    90. INT. HCMC – EMERGENCY ROOM – DAY

    Bo examined for a heart attack.

    91. INT. HCMC – INTENSIVE CARE PSYCHIATRY WARD – DAY

    Bo is observed for suicide.

    92. INT. LOUNGE – DAY

    Bo receives meds.

    93. INT. ASCENSION CATHOLIC CHURCH – DAY

    Sacrament of Reconciliation.

    94. INT. UST CHAPEL OF ST. THOMAS AQUINAS – NIGHT

    Eric doesn’t show. Bo plays on piano his music composition, “The Making Of…”

    95. INT. NAVE – NIGHT

    Bo talks with Karen.

    96. EXT. ELLIOT PARK – NIGHT

    A Star falls to earth before Bo.

    (End Act III)

    The End.

  • Alfred Travis

    Member
    April 21, 2021 at 12:41 am in reply to: Confidentiality Agreement – Professional Rewrite 71

    Alfred Travis. I agree to the terms of this release form.

  • Alfred Travis

    Member
    April 17, 2021 at 7:27 pm in reply to: Day 2 Assignment

    “What I’ve learned doing this assignment is…?” My screenplay, “Believe in Me” is, potentially, structurally sound. Need to feel where the crisis point is, though.

    Main Conflict: Man vs himself: Bo, a paranoid schizophrenia, disability patient, discovers he has amnesia about his faith and 80s Music Composer Art Space.

    9-Point Structure:

    1. Opening: PASTOR KENNY, (40), re-introduces himself to BO, (40), after 25 years, but Bo doesn’t remember.

    2. Inciting Incident: Bo finds he also has no memory of his music composer Art Space and music compositions from the 80s.

    3. Page 10 – movie about: Bo’s lyric analysis project to recover his memory.

    4. 1st Turning Point: Bo struggles to play on piano his music compositions.

    5. Midpoint: Pastor Kenny provides Bo with books on the Catholic Mass and Sacrament of Reconciliation and Catholic Initiation to help Bo recovery his memory.

    6. 2d Turning Point: Bo gives up on his medicine treatment.

    7. Crisis: ???? Bo down on himself??? (at what page is the crisis?)

    8. Climax: Bo and KAREN, (41), have an altercation.

    9. Resolution: Bo performs his music composition, “The Making Of…” at the University of St. Thomas Chapel of Saint Thomas Aquinas.

  • Alfred Travis

    Member
    April 14, 2021 at 8:27 pm in reply to: PARTNER UP FOR FEEDBACK

    Jackie,

    I can relate with your logline. Can you make it a sentence??

  • Alfred Travis

    Member
    April 14, 2021 at 12:54 am in reply to: Day 1 Assignment

    Alfred Travis Logline and One Page!

    “What I learned doing this Assignment is…?” I learned how to think about the logline and one page.

    Title: Believe in Me

    Logline #1(note: This is the logline I wrote for my screenplay that won favorable coverage of “Consider,” i.e., the analyst at We Screenplay did not tell me to rewrite my logline!): A man explores memory loss and faith.

    Logline#2: A man discovers he has memory loss and seeks to recover his memory through the reconciliation of his faith.

    One Page:

    A pastor, KENNY, remembers, BO, a disability patient, and Bo realizes he has memory loss, not only of his friendship with Pastor Kenny, but his faith and music compositions as well. Bo undertakes a project to analyze his found music compositions, and is helped by his neighbor, KATE, a beautiful woman in her 50s who like Bo is schizophrenic. She’s a Juilliard trained pianist.

    When Bo learns he was robbed in 1984 of his music compositions he seeks to find the robber, KAREN, a girl he dated in college.

    Under the weight of Karen’s revelation that Bo did her wrong, Bo suffers a heart attack. Bo recovers and is observed in the Psychiatry ward and comes to now being able to confess his sins at Sacrament of Reconciliation.

    Following penance Bo performs his music composition, “The Making Of…” at the Chapel of Saint Thomas Aquinas and reconciles with Karen.

  • Alfred Travis

    Member
    April 14, 2021 at 12:36 am in reply to: Introduce Yourself to the Group

    My name is Alfred Travis

    I’ve written three scripts.

    I hope to gain professional rewrite skills and improve my screenplay(s).

    Unique… strange…: I was born a baby miracle on the Mexico island, Isla De Guadalupe in August 1949.

  • Alfred Travis

    Member
    April 14, 2021 at 12:33 am in reply to: Introduce Yourself to the Group

    Hi, my name is Alfred Travis. I’m a 4th semester senior at Maharishi International University, the David Lynch Masters in Fine Arts (MFA) Screenwriting program. This is my thesis screenplay semester. And this week I start the rewrite of my screenplay at the same time of the beginning of the Professional Rewrite 71 course. Synchronicity!

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