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  • Allen Burch

    Member
    February 12, 2023 at 9:11 pm in reply to: Lesson 9

    Allen’s Act 1: Opening Scenes

    What I learned doing this assignment is… by just letting go, ideas kept popping into my mind and I put them on paper without going back trying to improve what I had already written. I just wanted to introduce the characters impacted at the start of the movie.

    Act 1:

    INT. LOCAL RESTAURANT – EVENING

    Engaged couple, TIANNE CHAMBERLIN, 21, beautiful, statuesque, light-skinned Black, and OSKAR KUTA, 20, pleasant-looking medium Black guy, enjoying their meal and each other.

    TIANNE

    Can you believe we’re about to graduate, then get married?

    OSKAR

    Graduation is great, but becoming your husband will be a dream come true for me. Of all the guys who you could have had, I’m the one who will be honored to have you as my wife… You’re so beautiful, so smart, so everything good and wonderful!

    On the other side of the restaurant STU, a jilted suitor, watches the couple, with growing jealousy.

    STU

    Hey Dude! You’re just going to have to get over her. She doesn’t want you. She’s made her decision and you’re not it.

    CAL

    She just doesn’t know what she want. That Oskar is a loser and she’ll come to realize what she’s missing out on.

    FREDDIE

    C’mon Cal. She’s just a cute girl. Why do you care? She’s just another Black girl.

    CAL continues to watch the couple and notices that they are paying their check. He motions to their waiter.

    CAL

    Hey they’re leaving. Check please. You guys have to help me.

    TiAnne and Oskar walk hand in hand into the evening. Cal and his friends follow cautiously, waiting for their opportunity. As the couple approaches an open parking garage entry, the group rush to overtake the couple. Cal grabs TiAnne taking her behind a parked car. The other boys take Oskar.

    FREDDIE

    Behave yourself and you won’t get hurt.

    Oskar struggles trying to break free.

    OSKAR

    IiAnne! I’ll…

    The group are struggling with Oskar to keep him quiet. As Oskar picks himself up, the boys drag him further into the parking garage.

    Cal overpowers TiAnne.

    CAL

    You’re going to enjoy this.

    TIANNE

    Please Cal, don’t.

    Cal accosts TiAnne.

    INT. POSH DOWNTOWN RESTUARANT – EVENING

    Married couple TINA Allan, very beautiful, blond, 22, and husband JAMES, 25, typical geek looking high tech-type, finishing up their cocktails after their evening snack.

    JAMES

    A nice end to our latest efforts at baby making.

    TINA

    You make it sound so mechanical. I thought it was lovely.

    JAMES

    You do know, you’re wearing me out?

    TINA

    I’ll add more vitamins to the shopping list.

    JAMES

    You just don’t want a wimpy son.

    TINA

    He can be just like you, and I’ll be a happy wife and mother.

    JAMES

    Well I want her beautiful and loving like her mother.

    TINA

    And I want him to be smart like his father.

    The couple obviously in love, cuddle in restaurant booth.

    JAMES

    Well, let’s get out of here and have another go at it.

    TINA

    Another go at it…! How sweet!

    EXT. CITY STREET – NIGHT

    Tina and James walking toward their condo building.

    As the couple passes an alley, a group of Black youths force the pair into the alley striking James, who falls to the ground. The group grab DANA KUTA, light-skinned, blond shaved head, 17 or 18, tall, slender, athletic boy.

    DRAGON

    Go on man. If you’re one of us, do it. You wanted to prove yourself.

    DANA

    What about him? Is he okay?

    DRAGON

    Just do her or you’ll be in his position, albino boy!

    While two of the boys hold down the young woman, Dana accosts the woman.

    DANA

    I’m sorry! I’m so sorry!

    As Dana repeatedly apologizes, tears stream down his face onto his victim.

  • Allen Burch

    Member
    February 10, 2023 at 3:37 am in reply to: Lesson 8

    Allen’s Beat Sheet Draft 2

    What I learned doing this assignment is… using this step added a nice feature to the construction of the script.

    THEME: Judging based only on what is seen causes leaves missing the unseen treasures.

    <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Act 1:

    o Opening: James is busy at work, directing his management team on the new product line of the company. At school, Douglas and Debbie are enjoying food and the basketball game.

    o INT. DOUGLAS’ SCHOOL HALLWAY – Day

    Douglas sees Debbie Porter for the first time and is taken with her appearance.

    Debbie’s brother, Malcolm, expresses concern for the attention Douglas is giving to his sister, thinking his interest in his sister is only because of her looks.

    o TE 1: James receives a telephone call that his son has been taken to the hospital due to an illness.

    o INT. JAMES’ OFFICE – DAY

    James is beside himself, as his son is the reason for all that he does.

    o Inciting Incident: Douglas becomes ill at school, resulting in need of a transplant from a close family member. While in hospital, James is surprised when he sees the student Douglas constantly speaks about constantly.

    o INT. HOSPITAL – DAY

    James sees Debbie Porter and is surprised at the appearance of the girl his son says reminds him of his mother.

    o Turning Point: No family member qualifies as a suitable donor for James’ son.

    Act 2:

    o New plan: Figure out what occurred.

    o TE 2: Douglas introduces Debbie Porter to his father and, as James gets to know more about the girl Douglas has been raving about, sees beyond her outward appearance the person his son sees.

    o INT. HOSPITAL – DAY

    James meets Debbie Porter and is surprised at the appearance of the girl his son says reminds him of his mother, seeing only her external features.

    o Plan in action: Begin hereditary review, then trace into the past for any potential hospital or other mistake.

    o Midpoint Turning Point: Douglas is not James’ son, but the child of an incident some 18 years earlier.

    Act 3:

    o Rethink everything: James hires firm to search for the biological father to save his son, who are unsuccessful in locating the man.

    o INT. JAMES’ OFFICE – DAY

    James hires firm to locate Douglas’ biological father.

    o INT. HOSPITAL – DAY

    James meets Debbie Porter and is surprised at the appearance of the girl his son says reminds him of his mother.

    o TE 3: As his hired detectives are having no success locating the biological father of Douglas, James determines he must take action.

    o INT. HOSPITAL – DAY

    As James talks with Debbie Porter, the beauty and similarities to his late wife become more and more apparent.

    o INT. HOSPITAL OFFICE – DAY

    James learns the firm he hired to find Douglas’ birth father has been unsuccessful due to not being able to locate the current location of the man.

    o New plan: James takes personally takes on the search for this man, finally locating the family of the father of his son. James becomes frustrated that the family of Douglas’ biological father is uncooperative in getting him in contact with him. James finds himself attracted to the biological father’s twin sister.

    o EXT. KUTA HOME – NIGHT

    James meets DiAnne Kuta who comes across as stubborn, unwilling to release information on the location of Dana (the biological father to Douglas).

    James feels that DiAnne is just a stubborn, uncaring, overprotective woman who cares only about her family.

    DiAnne feels James is just a pushy, demanding man who only sees life in terms that benefit him.

    o TE 4: Unable to see a viable alternative, James insists that the biological family allow him access to that man who fathered Douglas.

    o EXT. GRAVEYARD – DAY

    As James and DiAnne are once again walking through the local cemetery, DiAnne once again draws attention to the headstone of her father and the location where her mother will lay after death. Then, for the first time, James sees the headstone next to DiAnne’s expected plot. It’s the burial spot of the biological father Dana.

    DiAnne clearly sees the love James has for his son and the fear he feels of the possibility of losing him.

    o Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift: The biological father of James’ son died some 18 years earlier.

    o INT. KUTA HOME – AFTERNOON

    With Douglas, Debbie, and Malcolm in town Malcolm sees the real love and concern Douglas has for his sister.

    Act 4:

    o Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict: With the finding of the biological family and the knowledge of his death, James appeals for the cooperation of the family in hope of saving the son.

    o TE 5: James appeals to the family to help save Douglas, as there’s no other option that will potentially save the boy.

    o INT. KUTA HOME – DAY

    Members of the Kuta family have gathered at the family home making themselves available for genetic testing for suitability as donors.

    o TE 6: Despite DiAnne being just about the opposite of his late wife, James finds himself drawn to her.

    o INT. KUTA HOME – DAY

    As DiAnne has drawn close to Douglas and James and is a candidate for the transplant, James is resistant to her as he doesn’t want to lose her, the possible life they could have.

    o Resolution: The brother of “girlfriend”, Malcolm, becomes the unlikely donor who submits to the operation that will save James’ son.

    o INT. DOUGLAS SCHOOL ARENA – DAY

    Douglas and Malcolm are co-leaders on their basketball team working together to win the state championship.

    The Allan and Kuta families are united by care and concern for one another despite their appearances.

    James meets Debbie Porter and is surprised at the appearance of the girl his son says reminds him of his mother, seeing only her external features.

    o Plan in action: Begin hereditary review, then trace into the past for any potential hospital or other mistake.

    o Midpoint Turning Point: Douglas is not James’ son, but the child of an incident some 18 years earlier.

    Act 3:

    o Rethink everything: James hires firm to search for the biological father to save his son, who are unsuccessful in locating the man.

    o INT. JAMES’ OFFICE – DAY

    James hires firm to locate Douglas’ biological father.

    o INT. HOSPITAL – DAY

    James meets Debbie Porter and is surprised at the appearance of the girl his son says reminds him of his mother.

    o TE 3: As his hired detectives are having no success locating the biological father of Douglas, James determines he must take action.

    o INT. HOSPITAL – DAY

    As James talks with Debbie Porter, the beauty and similarities to his late wife become more and more apparent.

    o INT. HOSPITAL OFFICE – DAY

    James learns the firm he hired to find Douglas’ birth father has been unsuccessful due to not being able to locate the current location of the man.

    o New plan: James takes personally takes on the search for this man, finally locating the family of the father of his son. James becomes frustrated that the family of Douglas’ biological father is uncooperative in getting him in contact with him. James finds himself attracted to the biological father’s twin sister.

    o EXT. KUTA HOME – NIGHT

    James meets DiAnne Kuta who comes across as stubborn, unwilling to release information on the location of Dana (the biological father to Douglas).

    James feels that DiAnne is just a stubborn, uncaring, overprotective woman who cares only about her family.

    DiAnne feels James is just a pushy, demanding man who only sees life in terms that benefit him.

    o TE 4: Unable to see a viable alternative, James insists that the biological family allow him access to that man who fathered Douglas.

    o EXT. GRAVEYARD – DAY

    As James and DiAnne are once again walking through the local cemetery, DiAnne once again draws attention to the headstone of her father and the location where her mother will lay after death. Then, for the first time, James sees the headstone next to DiAnne’s expected plot. It’s the burial spot of the biological father Dana.

    DiAnne clearly sees the love James has for his son and the fear he feels of the possibility of losing him.

    o Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift: The biological father of James’ son died some 18 years earlier.

    o EXT. KUTA HOME – AFTERNOON

    With Douglas, Debbie, and Malcolm in town Malcolm sees the real love and concern Douglas has for his sister.

    Act 4:

    o Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict: With the finding of the biological family and the knowledge of his death, James appeals for the cooperation of the family in hope of saving the son.

    o TE 5: James appeals to the family to help save Douglas, as there’s no other option that will potentially save the boy.

    o INT. KUTA HOME – DAY

    Members of the Kuta family have gathered at the family home making themselves available for genetic testing for suitability as donors.

    o TE 6: Despite DiAnne being just about the opposite of his late wife, James finds himself drawn to her.

    o INT. KUTA HOME – DAY

    As DiAnne has drawn close to Douglas and James and is a candidate for the transplant, James is resistant to her as he doesn’t want to lose her, the possible life they could have.

    o Resolution: The brother of “girlfriend”, Malcolm, becomes the unlikely donor who submits to the operation that will save James’ son.

    o INT. DOUGLAS’ SCHOOL ARENA – DAY

    Douglas and Malcolm are co-captains on their basketball team working together to win the state championship.

    The Allan and Kuta families are united by care and concern for one another despite their appearances.

  • Allen Burch

    Member
    February 9, 2023 at 7:26 pm in reply to: Lesson 7

    Allen’s High Speed Beat Sheet

    What I learned doing this assignment is… the script is starting to appear from the chaos in my mind.

    Concept: James Allan, a driven businessman, whose last promise to his late wife becomes a challenge when he must find the elusive natural father of his son for a life-saving transplant. I also found myself re-interviewing my characters to get more of who they are, what they want.

    Main Conflict: To save his son Douglas, James Allan must find a suitable donor to save the life of the only child he and his late wife have. However, testing shows that James is not the natural father of the child, leading to a search for the natural father of his son, who doesn’t seem to want to be found.

    James’ character arc: James Allan a staunch and demanding businessman with little time for life beyond his son and business, realizes life didn’t end when he lost his wife.

    James Allan’s Old Ways:

    Excessively
    confident
    Focused
    on what he sees with his eyes.
    Reliance
    on others to do his bidding (the actual work).
    Emotionally
    stagnant

    James Allan’s New Ways:

    Open
    to new opportunities.
    What
    is seen by the eyes is often just a door to what is on the inside and
    endless possibilities.
    Willingness
    to depend on others for help.

    Changes or steps that need to happen:

    James’
    normal over-confident attitude allowing him to overcome any obstacles is
    shaken.
    Through
    his son Douglas, James finds that what is important in other people is
    often on the inside, not the outside.
    Rather
    relying on others to locate the biological father of his son, James
    determines that he had to take on the search himself.
    Willingness
    to depend on others for real help.
    Must
    invest in himself and his desires to find what he truly wants in life.
    James
    finds he has romantic feelings for the outwardly stubborn, unyielding twin
    sister of the biological father of his son Douglas.

    Act 1:

    o Opening: James is busy at work, directing his management team on the new product line of the company. At school, Douglas and Debbie are enjoying food and the basketball game.

    o TE 1: James receives a telephone call that his son has been taken to the hospital due to an illness.

    o INT. JAMES’ OFFICE – DAY

    James is beside himself, as his son is the reason for all that he does.

    o Inciting Incident: Douglas becomes ill at school, resulting in need of a transplant from a close family member. While in hospital, James is surprised when he sees the student Douglas constantly speaks about constantly.

    o INT. HOSPTIAL – DAY

    James sees Debbie Porter and is surprised at the appearance of the girl his son says reminds him of his mother.

    o Turning Point: No family member qualifies as a suitable donor for James’ son.

    Act 2:

    o New plan: Figure out what occurred.

    o TE 2: Douglas introduces Debbie Porter to his father and, as James gets to know more about the girl Douglas has been raving about, sees beyond her outward appearance the person his son sees.

    o INT. HOSPTIAL – DAY

    James meets Debbie Porter and is surprised at the appearance of the girl his son says reminds him of his mother.

    o Plan in action: Begin hereditary review, then trace into the past for any potential hospital or other mistake.

    o Midpoint Turning Point: Douglas is not James’ son, but the child of an incident some 18 years earlier.

    Act 3:

    o Rethink everything: James hires firm to search for the biological father to save his son, who are unsuccessful in locating the man.

    o TE 3: As his hired detectives are having no success locating the biological father of Douglas, James determines he must take action.

    o

    o INT. HOSPTIAL – DAY

    James meets Debbie Porter and is surprised at the appearance of the girl his son says reminds him of his mother.

    o New plan: James takes personally takes on the search for this man, finally locating the family of the father of his son. James becomes frustrated that the family of Douglas’ biological father is uncooperative in getting him in contact with him. James finds himself attracted to the biological father’s twin sister.

    o TE 4: Unable to see a viable alternative, James insists that the biological family allow him access to that man who fathered Douglas.

    o EXT. TOWN GRAVEYARD – Day

    As James and DiAnne are once again walking through the local cemetery, DiAnne once again draws attention to the headstone of her father and the location where her mother will lay after death. Then, for the first time, James sees the headstone next to DiAnne’s expected plot. It’s the burial spot of the biological father Dana.

    o Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift: The biological father of James’ son died some 18 years earlier.

    Act 4:

    o Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict: With the finding of the biological family and the knowledge of his death, James appeals for the cooperation of the family in hope of saving the son.

    o TE 5: James appeals to the family to help save Douglas, as there’s no other option that will potentially save the boy.

    o INT. KUTA HOME – DAY

    Members of the Kuta family have gathered at the family home making themselves available for genetic testing for suitability as donors.

    o TE 6: Despite DiAnne being just about the opposite of his late wife, James finds himself drawn to her.

    o INT. KUTA HOME – DAY

    As DiAnne has drawn close to Douglas and James and is a candidate for the transplant, James is resistant to her as he doesn’t want to lose her, the possible life they could have.

    o INT. HOSPITAL IN THE KUTA HOME TOWN – DAY

    As DiAnne has drawn close to Douglas and James and is a candidate for the transplant, James is resistant to her as he doesn’t want to lose her, the possible life they could have.

    o Resolution: The brother of Douglas’ “girlfriend” becomes the unlikely donor who submits to the operation that will save James’ son.

  • Allen Burch

    Member
    February 7, 2023 at 8:40 pm in reply to: Lesson 6

    Allen’s Transformational Events

    What I learned doing this assignment is…

    building slowly helps me to expand the story bit by bit, adding important details. Also, the story organization improves along the way.

    Concept: James Allan, a driven businessman, whose last promise to his late wife becomes a challenge when he must find the elusive natural father of his son for a life-saving transplant. I also found myself re-interviewing my characters to get more of who they are, what they want.

    Main Conflict: To save his son Douglas, James Allan must find a suitable donor to save the life of the only child he and his late wife have. However, testing shows that James is not the natural father of the child, leading to a search for the natural father of his son, who doesn’t seem to want to be found.

    James’ character arc: James Allan a staunch and demanding businessman with little time for life beyond his son and business, realizes life didn’t end when he lost his wife.

    James Allan’s Old Ways:

    Excessively
    confident
    Focused
    on what he sees with his eyes.
    Reliance
    on others to do his bidding (the actual work).
    Emotionally
    stagnant

    James Allan’s New Ways:

    Open
    to new opportunities.
    What
    is seen in the eyes of others is often just the door to what is on the inside.
    Willingness
    to depend on others for help.

    Changes or steps that need to happen:

    James’
    confidence in overcoming any obstacles is shaken.
    Rather
    relying on others to locate the biological father of his son, James determines
    that he had to take on the search himself.
    Through
    his son Douglas, James finds that what is important in other people is
    often on the inside, not the outside.
    Willingness
    to depend on others for real help.
    Must
    invest in himself and his desires to find what he truly wants in life.
    James
    finds he has romantic feelings for the outwardly stubborn, unyielding twin
    sister of the biological father of his son Douglas.

    Act 1:

    o Opening: James is busy at work, directing his management team on the new product line of the company. At home, James, Douglas and xxx are enjoying food and the basketball game.

    o Inciting Incident: Douglas becomes ill at school, resulting in need of a transplant from close family member. While in hospital, James is surprised when he meets the student Douglas constantly speaks about, says reminds him of what he been told about his late mother, and hopes one day to marry.

    o Turning Point: No family member qualifies as a suitable donor for James’ son.

    Act 2:

    o New plan: Figure out what occurred.

    o Plan in action: Begin hereditary review, then trace into the past for any potential hospital or other mistake.

    o Midpoint Turning Point: Douglas is not James’ son, but the child of an incident some 18 years earlier.

    Act 3:

    o Rethink everything: James hires firm to search for the biological father to save his son, who are unsuccessful in locating the man.

    o New plan: James takes personally takes on the search for this man, finally locating the family of the father of his son. James becomes frustrated that the family of Douglas’ biological father is uncooperative in getting him in contact with him. James finds himself attracted to the biological father’s twin sister.

    o Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift: The biological father of James’ son died some 18 years earlier.

    Act 4:

    o Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict: With the finding of the biological family and the knowledge of his death, James appeals for the cooperation of the family in hope of saving the son.

    o Resolution: After the twin sister of Douglas’ biological father agrees to the transplant, James finds that he has mixed feelings due to the potential of losing her and his son. The brother of Douglas’ “girlfriend” becomes the unlikely donor who submits to the operation that will save James’ son.

  • Allen Burch

    Member
    February 7, 2023 at 7:47 pm in reply to: Lesson 5

    Allen’s 4 Act Transformational Structure

    What I learned doing this assignment is…

    Again, I’m finding a way to take what’s in my head and organize it in a way that will help put the story to paper.

    Concept: James Allan, a driven businessman, whose last promise to his late wife becomes a challenge when he must find the elusive natural father of his son for a life-saving transplant.

    Main Conflict: In order to save his son Douglas, James Allan must find a suitable donor to save the life of the only child he and his late wife have. However, testing shows that James is not the natural father of the child, leading to a search for the natural father of his son, who doesn’t seem to want to be found.

    James Allan’s Old Ways:

    Excessively
    confident
    Self-reliant
    Emotionally
    stagnant

    James Allan’s New Ways:

    Open
    to new opportunities.
    Willingness
    to depend on others for help.

    Act 1:

    o Opening: James is busy at work, directing his management team on the new product line of the company. At home, James, Douglas and xxx are enjoying food and the basketball game.

    o Inciting Incident: Douglas becomes ill at school, resulting in need of a transplant from close family member.

    o Turning Point: No family member qualifies as a suitable donor for James’ son.

    Act 2:

    o New plan: Figure out what occurred.

    o Plan in action: Begin hereditary review, then trace into the past for any potential hospital or other mistake.

    o Midpoint Turning Point: Douglas is not James’ son, but the child of an incident some 18 years earlier.

    Act 3:

    o Rethink everything: James hires firm to search for the biological father to save his son, who are unsuccessful in locating the man.

    o New plan: James takes personally takes on the search for this man, finally locating the family of the father of his son but finds himself attracted to the biological father’s twin sister.

    o Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift: The biological father of James’ son died some 18 years earlier.

    Act 4:

    o Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict: With the finding of the biological family and the knowledge of his death, James appeals for the cooperation of the family in hope of saving the son.

    o Resolution: An unlikely donor submits to the operation that will save James’ son.

  • Allen Burch

    Member
    February 5, 2023 at 8:16 pm in reply to: Lesson 4

    Allen’s Character Interviews

    What I learned doing this assignment is…

    How additional information from the characters paints a better picture of who I’m writing about, whose story I’m telling.

    Concept:

    James Allan, a driven businessman, whose last promise to his late wife becomes a challenge when he must find the elusive natural father of his son for a life-saving transplant.

    Genre:

    Drama

    Protagonist:

    James Allan

    Role in the story:

    o Father of Douglas

    o Widower.

    Age range and Description:

    o 45-50 years old

    o Physically fit

    o Caucasian

    Internal Journey:

    o Businessman hasn’t needed anyone else to build his business empire, but now must reach out to others to save the one person he loves as much as himself.

    External Journey:

    o Finds that he has much to learn and must rely on others for those lessons.

    Motivation:

    o James feels he will never find another love as he had in his late wife Tina, who he still loves.

    o To fulfill the vow he made to his late wife that he will “always love their son.

    o James loves and adores his son Douglas more than anyone else and will move any mountain to save his son.

    Wound:

    o After testing for tissue donation for his son, he finds that the child is not his biologically.

    Mission/Agenda:

    o Not only to fulfill the vow to his late wife, but James also desperately wants to find the natural father of the child he loves as his own.

    o James wants to save his son.

    Secret:

    o Scared that he will never find love again.

    o Fear that he may lose the son he loves, the only link to the wife he loved.

    o Fear of failure.

    o Fear of being alone.

    What makes them special?

    o Loved and misses his wife.

    o Loves his son.

    What draws us to this character?

    o His determination to find a person who can save his son, at the risk of losing his son to this person.

    · Traits:

    o Determination

    o Directness

    · Subtext:

    o When in situations where a potential exists, James will speak or act impulsively to cover his true feelings or concerns.

    o James has a need to find a person that he doesn’t want to find.

    · Flaw:

    o James has a habit of making demands from others that he often wants to avoid in order to hide his uncertainties, fears.

    · Values:

    o Love

    o Loyalty

    · Irony:

    o James has a fear of his weaknesses and covers them with an air of confidence (aloofness) even in the face of the unknown.

    What makes this the right character for this role?

    o James loves his son more than anyone else on this earth and is determined to find the one person who he believes can save his son, even at the possibility of losing his son to this person.

    Antagonist:

    DiAnne Kuta

    Role in the story:

    o Fraternal sister of Dana Kuta

    o Aunt to Douglas Allan

    Age range and Description:

    o Early 40’s

    o Very light brown complexion

    o Extremely attractive

    Internal Journey:

    o I avoid any potential romantic relationship that might result in my losing concentration to care for her mother.

    o I try to be a rock for my mother, as I don’t want anything to ever hurt her again.

    o I love my family and will hide anything in the past that would cause injury to them.

    External Journey:

    o Tends to be abrupt with anyone who might entangle her in a relationship that would divide her attention away from her mother.

    Motivation:

    o I will not let an inquiry into my family’s past hurt my family.

    Wound:

    o Loss of her brother while in police custody shortly before he was to be released after charges were dismissed.

    Mission/Agenda:

    o To protect/shield her mother from anything that would cause her any further pain in her life.

    Secret:

    o My brother is dead.

    What makes them special?

    o Devotion to my mother.

    o Willingness to forgo a “normal” life for my family.

    What draws us to this character?

    · Traits:

    o Devotion to family.

    · Subtext:

    o Eagerness to please others (often at great cost).

    · Flaw:

    o Overly protective of loved ones

    o Secretive of strangers and the authorities.

    o Resigned to a life that results in hiding from living.

    · Values:

    o Loving

    o Protective

    · Irony:

    o I am willing and enjoy helping others, if it doesn’t hurt my family.

    What makes this the right character for this role?

    o DiAnne is a strong woman who will do any and everything to protect her mother and brother from further pain in their lives.

    Dana Kuta

    Role in the story:

    o Natural father of Douglas Allan

    o Remains elusive as the search for his possible tissue donation may save the son resulting from the.

    Age range and Description:

    o 18 years old

    o Handsome, blond hair

    o Very light Black complexion

    o Tall, with solid, basketball player build

    Internal Journey:

    o A confused young man who can’t seem to find a fit in the world around him. “Am I Black?”, “Am I White?”, “Who am I?”, “What am i?”.

    External Journey:

    o Had spent his pre-college, young life traversing the possibilities available to him in two very different worlds.

    Motivation:

    o Find himself and make up for mistakes.

    Wound:

    o Living in a world where he’s not accepted at every turn.

    o Extreme remorse for his accosting an innocent person in an attempt to prove his place in the world.

    o Regret that he can’t help his son Douglas Allan.

    Mission/Agenda:

    o No longer matters.

    Secret:

    o Remorse regarding accosting Tina Allan

    o Died at age 18.

    What draws us to this character?

    · Traits:

    o Intelligent

    o Athletic

    o Desire to make up for past mistake(s)

    o I feel special in that I still strive to do my best, be the best that I can be.

    · Subtext:

    o Eagerness to please others (often at great cost).

    · Flaw:

    o I have an overwhelming desire to fit into my desired world as it rejects me at every turn. Not looking Black leads to feelings of inadequacies.

    o Not feeling White hurts me in that I have no desire to “pass” in that world, although I can do so easily.

    o Not being able to help alleviate the consequences of my indiscretion haunts me daily.

    · Values:

    o Love of family

    o Willingness to please others.

    o An openness to learn from mistakes.

    · Irony:

    o Ability/Inability to change to fit in.

    o I get no pleasure in not being to assist in helping the young man I fathered due to stupidity, selfishness, and maybe a degree of fear.

    What makes this the right character for this role?

    o Being able to “see” into the different worlds has allowed me to fit most any situation that comes my way.

  • Allen Burch

    Member
    January 31, 2023 at 11:18 pm in reply to: Lesson 3

    Allen’s character profiles – Part 2

    What I learned doing this assignment is…

    Watching the characters in my head coming to life on the written page. The character blanks fill in as the story’s interactions come into view.

    Concept:

    James Allan, a driven businessman, whose last promise to his late wife becomes a challenge when he must find the elusive natural father of his son for a life-saving transplant.

    Genre:

    Drama

    Protagonist:

    James Allan

    • Role in the story:

    Father of Douglas

    • Age range and Description:

    45-50 years old

    Physically fit

    Caucasian

    • Internal Journey:

    Businessman hasn’t needed anyone else to build his business empire, but now must reach out to others to save the one person he loves as much as himself.

    • External Journey:

    Finds that he has much to learn and must rely on others for those lessons.

    • Motivation:

    To fulfill the vow he made to his late wife that he will “always love their son.

    • Wound:

    After testing for tissue donation for his son, he finds that the child is not his biologically.

    .

    • Mission/Agenda:

    Not only to fulfill the vow to his late wife, James desperately wants to find the natural father of the child he loves as his own.

    .

    • Secret:

    Scared that he will never find love again

    .

    • What makes them special?

    Loved and misses his wife

    Loves his son

    • What draws us to this character?

    His determination to find a person who can save his son but risks the possibility of losing his son to this person.

    • Traits:

    Determination

    Directness

    • Subtext:

    When in situations where a potential exists, James will speak or act impulsively to cover his true feelings or concerns.

    • Flaw:

    James has a habit of ordering his demands/desires to hide his uncertainties.

    • Values:

    Love

    Loyalty

    • Irony:

    James has a fear of his weaknesses and covers them with an air of confidence (aloofness) even in the face of the unknown.

    • What makes this the right character for this role?

    James loves his son more than anyone else on this earth and is determined to find the one person who he believes can save his son, even at the possibility of losing his son to this person.

    Antagonist:

    DiAnne Kuta

    • Role in the story:

    Fraternal sister of Dana Kuta

    Aunt to Douglas Allan

    • Age range and Description:

    Early 40’s

    Brown complexion

    Attractive

    • Internal Journey:

    Avoids any potential romantic relationship that might result in her losing her concentration to care for her mother.

    • External Journey:

    Tends to be abrupt with anyone who might entangle her in a relationship that would divide her attention on her mother.

    .

    • Motivation:

    .

    • Wound:

    Loss of her brother while in police custody shortly before he was to be released after charges were dismissed.

    .

    • Mission/Agenda:

    To protect/shield her mother from anything that would cause her any further pain

    • Secret:

    • What makes them special?

    Devotion to her mother

    Willingness to forgo a “normal” life

    • What draws us to this character?

    • Traits:

    • Subtext:

    • Flaw:

    Overly protective of loved ones

    Secretive of strangers and the authorities

    Resigned to a life that results in hiding from living

    • Values:

    Love

    Protective

    • Irony:

    • What makes this the right character for this role?

    DiAnne is a strong woman who will do any and everything to protect her mother and brother from further pain in their lives.

    Dana Kuta

    • Role in the story:

    Natural father of Douglas Allan

    Remains elusive as the search for his possible tissue donation may save the son resulting from the.

    • Age range and Description:

    18 years old

    Handsome, blond hair

    Very light Black complexion

    Tall, with solid, basketball player build

    • Internal Journey:

    A confused young man who can’t seem to find a fit in the world around him. “Am I Black?”, “Am I White?”, “Who am I?”, “What am i?”.

    • External Journey:

    Had spent his pre-college, young life traversing the possibilities available to him in two very different worlds..

    • Motivation:

    Find himself and makeup for his mistakes.

    • Wound:

    Living in a world where he’s not accepted

    Extreme remorse for his raping an innocent person just to prove his place in the world.

    • Mission/Agenda:

    • Secret:

    Remorse regarding crime against Tina Allan when he was 18 years old

    Died at age 18.

    • What draws us to this character?

    • Traits:

    Intelligent

    Athletic

    Desire to make up for past mistake(s)

    • Subtext:

    Eagerness to please others (often at great cost).

    • Flaw:

    Overwhelming desire to fit into a world that rejects him at every turn

    • Values:

    Love of family

    Willingness to please others.

    • Irony:

    Ability to change to fit in.

    • What makes this the right character for this role?

    Adaptability to fit any situation that comes his way

  • Allen Burch

    Member
    January 30, 2023 at 8:42 pm in reply to: Lesson 2

    Allen’s character profiles – Part 2

    What I learned doing this assignment is…

    Watching the characters in my head coming to life on the written page. The character blanks fill in as the story’s interactions come into view.

    Concept:

    James Allan, a driven businessman, whose last promise to his late wife becomes a challenge when he must find the elusive natural father of his son for a life-saving transplant.

    Genre:

    Drama

    Protagonist:

    James Allan

    Role in the story:

    Father of Douglas Allan

    .

    Age
    range and Description:

    .

    Internal
    Journey:

    .

    External
    Journey:

    .

    Motivation:

    To fulfill the vow he made to his late wife that he will “always love their son.

    Wound:

    After testing for tissue donation for his son, he finds that the child is not his biologically.

    .

    Mission/Agenda:

    Not only to fulfill the vow to his late wife, James desperately wants to find the natural father of the child he loves as his own.

    .

    Secret:

    .

    Antagonist:

    Dana Kuta

    Role in the story:

    Remains elusive as the search for his possible tissue donation may save the son resulting from the rape of Tinal Allan when he was 19 years old.

    Age
    range and Description:

    21 years old

    Handsome, blond hair

    Very light Black complexion

    Tall, with solid, basketball player build

    Internal
    Journey:

    A confused young man who can’t seem to find a fit in the world around him. “Am I Black?”, “Am I White?”, “Who am I?”, “What am i?”.

    External
    Journey:

    Had spent his pre-college, young life traversing the possibilities available to him in two very different worlds..

    Motivation:

    Find himself and makeup for his mistakes.

    .

    Wound:

    Extreme remorse for his raping of an innocent person just to find his place in the world.

    .

    Mission/Agenda:

    .

    Secret:

    Died at age 19.

    Supporting characters:

    Douglas Allan

    · Role in the story:

    Son of James and Tina Allan

    · Age range and Description:

    Slender, basketball physique

    · Internal Journey:

    .

    · External Journey:

    .

    · Motivation:

    .

    · Wound:

    .

    · Mission/Agenda:

    .

    · Secret:

    .

    · What makes them special?

    .

    DiAnne Kuta

    · Role in the story:

    Fraternal sister of Dana Kuta

    Aunt to Douglas Allan

    · Age range and Description:

    Early 40’s

    Brown complexion

    Attractive

    · Internal Journey:

    .

    · External Journey:

    .

    · Motivation:

    .

    · Wound:

    .

    · Mission/Agenda:

    .

    · Secret:

    .

    · What makes them special?

    Took name of her intended husband Oskar Kuta.

    TiAnne (Chamberlin) Kuta

    · Role in the story:

    Mother of Dana and DiAnne Kuta

    · Age range and Description:

    Early 60’s

    Brown complexion

    Attractive

    · Internal Journey:

    Unable to forget the past.

    · External Journey:

    .

    · Motivation:

    Escapes into her own world to forget the past (rape while in college, loss of her son)

    .

    · Wound:

    Loss of two of the loves in her life.

    .

    · Mission/Agenda:

    .

    · Secret:

    .

    · What makes them special?

    .

    Stephen Major

    · Role in the story:

    Best friend of James Allan

    · Age range and Description:

    Mid 40’s

    Mid Black complexion

    · Internal Journey:

    Stick by his friend James in the most trying time in his life.

    .

    · External Journey:

    .

    · Motivation:

    .

    · Wound:

    .

    · Mission/Agenda:

    .

    · Secret:

    .

    · What makes them special?

    .

    Debbie Porter

    · Role in the story:

    Love interest of Douglas Allan

    · Age range and Description:

    Teen

    Deep Brown complexion

    Attractive

    · Internal Journey:

    .

    · External Journey:

    .

    · Motivation:

    .

    · Wound:

    .

    · Mission/Agenda:

    .

    · Secret:

    .

    · What makes them special?

    .

    Malcolm Porter

    · Role in the story:

    Brother of Debbie Porter

    · Age range and Description:

    Teen

    Deep Brown complexion

    Attractive

    Slender, basketball physique

    · Internal Journey:

    Show his sister that Douglas Allan isn’t good enough for her.

    .

    · External Journey:

    Do whatever he can to protect his little sister from any real or perceived danger.

    .

    · Motivation:

    Protector

    .

    · Wound:

    Never feels good enough, always fighting for whatever recognition he can attain.

    .

    · Mission/Agenda:

    .

    · Secret:

    Envies the position Douglas has in the broader society.

    .

    · What makes them special?

    .

    Minor roles:

    Tina Allan

    · Role in the story:

    Mother of Douglas Kuta

    · Age range and Description:

    20-25 years old

    Caucasian complexion

    Blonde hair

    Attractive

    · Internal Journey:

    .

    · External Journey:

    .

    · Motivation:

    .

    · Wound:

    .

    · Mission/Agenda:

    .

    · Secret:

    .

    · What makes them special?

    .

    Oskar Kuta

    · Role in the story:

    Suitor of TiAnne Chamberlin (aka Kuta)

    · Age range and Description:

    19 years old

    Medium Black complexion

    Attractive

    Above average height

    Slender, but well built

    · Internal Journey:

    .

    · External Journey:

    .

    · Motivation:

    .

    · Wound:

    .

    · Mission/Agenda:

    .

    · Secret:

    .

    · What makes them special?

    .

    Stu Martin (& two friends)

    · Role in the story:

    Romantic interest in TiAnne Chamberlin while in college

    Extremely jealous of Oskar Kuta

    · Age range and Description:

    19-21 years old

    Caucasian

    Ruggedly attractive

    Average in other traits

    · Internal Journey:

    .

    · External Journey:

    .

    · Motivation:

    To win TiAnne’s attention away from Oskar Kuta

    Jealousy that leads to Oskar’s death

    .

    · Wound:

    .

    · Mission/Agenda:

    .

    · Secret:

    Father paid damages awarded to TiAnne Chamberlin after the “accident” that resulted from an altercation between Stu and Oskar Kuta that resulted in Oskar’s death.

    · What makes them special?

    .

    Firstname Lastname

    · Role in the story:

    .

    · Age range and Description:

    .

    · Internal Journey:

    .

    · External Journey:

    .

    · Motivation:

    .

    · Wound:

    .

    · Mission/Agenda:

    .

    · Secret:

    .

    · What makes them special?

    .

    Background characters:

    Medical Staff # 1

    Medical Staff # 2

    Classroom(s) characters in Douglas’ class

    Multiple basketball arena crowd(s)

    Airport and airline settings

  • Allen Burch

    Member
    January 29, 2023 at 8:20 pm in reply to: Lesson 1

    Allen’s Transformational Journey

    What I learned doing this assignment is…

    Writing down in an understandable fashion what is in my mind is very difficult.

    Concept:

    Driven businessman, whose last promise to his late wife: “love our son no matter what” becomes a challenge when he must find the natural father for a life-saving transplant to save the boy who he loves.

    Internal Journey:

    Businessman hasn’t needed anyone else to build his business empire, but now must reach out to others to save the one person he loves as much as himself.

    External Journey:

    Learns that he has much to learn and mist rely on others for those lessons.

    Old Ways:

    Excessively confident
    Self-assured, reliant
    Emotionally stagnant

    New Ways:

    Open to new opportunities
    Willingness to depend on others

  • Allen Burch

    Member
    January 15, 2023 at 6:01 pm in reply to: Confidentiality Agreement

    AGREE

    Allen Bii (Burch)

    GROUP RELEASE FORM

    As a member of this group, I agree to the following:

    1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.

    2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted, and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.

    I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.

    3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.

    4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.

    5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them, and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.

    6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.

  • Allen Burch

    Member
    January 15, 2023 at 5:56 pm in reply to: Introduce Yourself to the Group

    A. Charles Bii (aka Allen Burch)

    I’ve several screenplays at various stages of completeness

    From this class I hope to get the “PUSH” I desire to complete a couple of my screenplays to my satisfaction.

    After growing up with a dysfunctional father, I’ve made it my mission to help as many young people as possible to have a steady influence in their lives as to what it means to be HUMAN!

  • Allen Burch

    Member
    February 14, 2022 at 10:39 pm in reply to: Introduce Yourself to the Group

    Hello everyone. I’m Allen

    I’ve near-completed a couple of screenplays and have a couple of TV series ideas. Life gets in the way from time to time as I’m active in assisting at-risk kids after the loss of my wife to the dreaded cancer. After watching over an eleven year old boy who was contemplating suicide for five years and then taking in his little sister to keep her out of that corrosive environment, I’m trying to get back to creating and completing some of my writing.

  • Allen Burch

    Member
    February 14, 2022 at 10:31 pm in reply to: Confidentiality Agreement

    1. A. Charles Bii

    “I agree to the terms of this release form.”

    As a member of this group, I agree to the following:
    1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the
    class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting
    online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make
    those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone
    who is not a member of this class.
    2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes
    this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this
    group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
    I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone
    without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this
    information with anyone outside this group.
    3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to
    time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie
    idea.
    4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately
    contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to
    be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present
    another concept for the class.
    5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas
    presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or
    market another group member’s ideas.
    6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a
    substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from
    marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios
    Screenwriting classes
    or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.

  • Allen Burch

    Member
    January 31, 2023 at 11:21 pm in reply to: Lesson 4

    I didn’t receive # 4 either.

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